Podcasts about Goofy

Abe's Orlok expression intro made the soundboard goof up on the goof up episode! For more amazing podcasts check out thePFPN.com Comment on our posts on facebook.com/btaabm2 to be read on a future episode. Watch Out Cold (2001) for our next B Movies are the Best Movies episode.  

In this episode of The Biggest Table podcast,  the discussion centers around food, eating, and hospitality as a means to experience God's love. Andrew is joined by guests Kellie Lisi and Martin Lohrmann, who co-authored the book, Food Theology: Nourishing Faith in Local Communities. Andrew, Kellie, and Martin explore the central thesis of the book—that God's love is made physical through food—and discuss their distinct approach compared to existing theological works. Kellie and Martin's work integrates practical guidance with theological reflections, aiming to bridge the gap between theological theory and community practices. They also delve into the importance of Holy Communion in Christianity, examining its transformational power and how it informs broader food practices and community involvement. The episode touches on the theological and historical aspects of food in Christianity, including its role in addressing food insecurity and fostering community. The conversation concludes with reflections on the personal and communal significance of food, especially during the holiday season.Bios:Kellie Lisi is an ordained deacon in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America and serves at Wartburg Theological Seminary as Vice President for Leadership Formation. She has served as a public school teacher and administrator, parish ministry leader, and food educator. Kellie worked in the restaurant industry prior to (and in the early years of) teaching. Her most notable restaurant co-workers were Minnie Mouse, Goofy, and Chip & Dale at a character buffet restaurant in Disney World. At home in Iowa, Kellie's nine-year-old loves when she makes pizza, while her 12-year old wishes she would make sushi bowls every day. Martin J. Lohrmann is Associate Professor of Lutheran Confessions and Heritage at Wartburg Theological Seminary in Dubuque, Iowa, where he teaches classes in church history, the Lutheran Reformation, spiritual practices, and theology and art. In addition to many articles and essays, Dr. Lohrmann is the author of Stories from Global Lutheranism: A Historical Timeline and Book of Harmony: Spirit and Service in the Lutheran Confessions, and the co-editor of 1 & 2 Samuel, 1 & 2 Kings, 1 & 2 Chronicles in the Reformation Commentary on Scripture Series. He enjoys going for walks, playing guitar, and cooking with whatever ingredients are on hand.Buy Food Theology: Nourishing Faith in Local CommunitiesThis episode of the Biggest Table is brought to you in part by Wild Goose Coffee. Since 2008, Wild Goose has sought to build better communities through coffee. For our listeners, Wild Goose is offering a special promotion of 20% off a one time order using the code TABLE at checkout. To learn more and to order coffee, please visit wildgoosecoffee.com. 

Weird week in AI.

Miracle On Route 34: Part 2 Virginia and Santa face extreme danger together. Based on a post by BiscuitHammer, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Someone attacked Santa with a wicked-looking spiked hand-axe, something out of a sci-fi movie. He batted the weapon aside and clapped his open hands across the man's ears, busting his brain. Before he dropped, Santa grabbed the corpse and swung it around in a wide arc, smashing it into the foes surrounding him and knocking them back. "Shit!" Ginny squealed as one of the targets landed near her. "It's like the fucking Matrix in here!" As he threw the corpse away, he paused very briefly and glanced at her. "Since you happen to be right there, how about a little mood music?" "What?" "I'm just saying some music would be nice if we're going to be doing this," he called. "You're next to the entertainment system, how about putting something on?" "You’re shitting me, right?" she almost complained, wincing as she heard something delicate-sounding and expensive smash behind her amidst the wild brawl. She stared at the multimedia system, flapping her arms in frustration as she tried to focus through the noise. This couldn't be happening. She clutched the sleeves of her plush robe for a moment, trying to concentrate on its soft, fuzzy texture and center herself. She'd almost forgotten the large nerf gun in her hands but ignored it now, fixing her gaze on the mp3 playlist. She pressed a button. "Silent night; Holy night;" Bing crooned through the room. "Not really what I had in mind!" Santa mentioned loudly as he rammed his knee into a man's chin. "Try again!" Ginny bit her lip and pressed the button again, this time rewarded with Gary Glitter singing 'Another Rock And Roll Christmas'. "Still not quite there," he said as he snapmared another foe. "Better, but not quite!" "Well I don't know!" she shouted in exasperation. "What kind of music do you put on while Santa kills things in your living room?" Santa turned sideways and thrust his foot out, kicking an intruder in the chest and sending him sprawling backwards, rolling head over heels until he thumped into the entertainment system, jolting it and skipping the player. "I am a bitch. How do you want me? From behind, or on my knees? I am a slut, please hold me down, I'll be your noise, This shit will fuck you up!" "Perfect!" he declared as he fought, swarmed once again by foes. "Seriously?" Ginny yelled. "Combichrist is Santa's fucking fighting groove?" "I'm trying to figure out why you have it on your playlist," Santa replied. "I don't remember you liking aggrotech!" "Why the hell do you of all people even know what it is?" she shot back, wincing as she watched another body sail into the opposite wall with a sickening crunch before dropping to the floor and leaving a huge, crumbling dent in the stone. 'This Shit Will Fuck You Up!' "I prefer the term 'Hellektro' myself," he added. "And I know all songs, silly. I remember when the Dayglo Abortions wrote that 'Hey Santa!' song back in the '80's, they didn't get presents for” "I didn't ask, why are you answering?" she hissed. "Kill! Kill!" All the while, the pounding rhythms of the music filled the room. "I am a bitch. How do you want me? From behind, or on my knees? I am a slut, please hold me down, I'll be your noise, This shit will fuck you up!" "Well, at least we know why it's on your playlist, anyway!" he mentioned as he broke someone's back over his knee. "Very funny, red man!" Ginny hissed, scowling. She ducked wildly as another assailant flew overhead and landed in the Jacuzzi, his neck slamming against the hard edge with a snap noise and then tilting at a strange angle, his eyes wide and unseeing. "Fucking hell," she muttered. "These guys eat too much red meat!" Santa smashed two heads together before punting a third man in the chest, sending him staggering back until he fell against the entertainment unit, right next to Ginny, his eyes spiraling in his head. She scowled down at him for a moment before smashing the pitcher of nog on his cranium and sending him to the floor. Every single intruder stopped and turned to look at her suddenly, their eyes narrowing and turning very yellow. "Eep;" Ginny said quietly, going pale. They all howled and lunged toward her, even as Santa fought to reach her first. She shrieked in fright. "Darn it, Ginny!" he shouted in what almost sounded like irritation. "I told you not to do anything!" "You said not to use the stupid nerf gun!" she shot back as she dodged wildly and began to run around, evading her pursuers. "I meant don't do anything to get yourself noticed!" he growled as he bulldogged one man's head into the floor. He sprang to his feet and grabbed another man by the back of the head, ramming his face into the stone wall, creating a small crater from which the body slumped only slowly and wetly. "How the hell did they not notice the mostly naked girl in the room?" she yelled, sprinting around the circumference of the room, being chased by yellow-eyed foes. "They're mostly quantum, they don't always perceive real-state things or beings until they're interacted with!" he answered. "They weren't looking for you until you announced yourself!" "Oh, you and your weird physics shit!" she groused, her robe coming more and more undone as she ran. One of her tits was exposed, bouncing annoyingly and the nipple hardening as a cold wind from the endless holes in her walls and windows blew into the room. "Now what?" "Well, since they know you're here, you might as well use the gun," he answered as he tackled a small knot of them who were looking to cut off her avenue of escape. "At least then you can defend yourself if you're careful!" "The fuck am I supposed to do?" she shouted angrily as she clutched the ridiculous, useless gun. "Nerf them to death? Hope I shoot one foam dart down a throat and hope the bastard chokes and dies?" "Didn't you just let me inside all of your orifices?" he pointed out as he spun low, sweeping one foe's feet from under him and then taking him by the ankles to slam him off the floor. "Trust me, Virginia!" "Dammit!" she spat, steeling her nerve, hoping her resolve was harder than her nipple currently was. Taking a deep breath, she stopped running and spun, pointing the gun and pulling the plastic trigger; She yelped in astonishment as coruscating arcs of lightning crackled and lashed out from the muzzle, enveloping several foes, who wailed in glowing agony before disappearing from view. "Jesus H Fucking Tesla!" she exclaimed in amazement as she gaped down at her toy. "Virginia, language!" Santa warned. She rolled her eyes and pointed at another man rushing her, pulling the trigger and watching him explode in a shower of scintillating particles. "This shit will fuck you up!" blared the speakers. The wall splintered next to Ginny and several terrifying creatures barged in, causing her to shriek in fright, they were easily Santa's size, vaguely humanoid but covered in a greyish, segmented carapace, with insectoid heads, evil-looking mandibles and huge claws at the end of four arms. They hissed as the lunged for her. "Fuck fuck fuck!" cried out as she began running. "Fucking hate motherfucking bugs!" She fired wildly behind herself without looking, managing to strike one of the new creatures but only slowing it down. Ginny raced for the stairs, stampeding up them only to find more of the yellow-eyed humanoids waiting for her. "Santa!" she cried out in terror. "Help!" He glanced her way and grimaced at her predicament. "Aw, hell;" With a strength born of the desperation to protect one of his precious children, he surged forward, shoulder-blocking his way through a knot of assailants, springing through the air with astonishing agility, alternately using the wall and railing of the stairs to get to the upper floor, twisting and executing a flying kick that downed a foe about to attack Ginny. "Good thing I wore my enhanced parkour boots tonight, eh?" he muttered as he glared at the foes crowding to get up the stairs or down the hallway at them. "I don't even know what that means." Ginny snapped, backing up warily as the horde coming for them grew in numbers. "If that's some sort of geek speak, then we, are you getting bigger?" "I guess I am," he replied, grimly, glaring at their foes. "I don't expect what I'm saying to make sense, but the other iterations of me, my other selves, they're all coming here, merging with me to help meet the threat." "You're; consolidating?" she asked in disbelief. "That's one way to look at it," he said, his blue eyes flashing. "It's gonna make finishing the Christmas run tight if I get held up here much longer." "Oh, terribly sorry if I'm inconveniencing you, your highness." Ginny said, trying to not sound too snide. He put his body between her and her foes, backing her up against the wall. "They can't come through the wall you're up against, it's the South wall," he said quietly but with a sense of urgency. "You're safe from that angle. You can fire your gun past me or over the rail at the guys down below. Since they're trying to reach you that means they've solidified enough that they can't do crazy things like jump seven meters up to reach you, they'll have to use the stairs." "I thought they were after you." Ginny said hotly. "They were, until you announced yourself with a jug of nog," he pointed out. "Now they want to destroy you to hurt me." "Oh. Sorry." Ginny mumbled somewhat sheepishly. "You can make it up to me later!" he said as he surged forward suddenly, bulling his way through the approaching crowd, clotheslining several at once. Shouts went up and the fight was on again. Santa punched, kicked, elbowed, kneed and wrenched his way through the enemy horde. Ginny swore he was indeed bigger than he had been earlier. His already hard body physique was almost bulging with muscles now, like a California beach bodybuilder. Black blood glistened on his flawless skin as he maimed the attackers. Droplets that hit the carpet sizzled and ate through it, burning the hardwood floor beneath. "No!" Ginny wailed in despair. "Not the hardwood! I loved that feature!" She glared and gritted her teeth as she leaned over the railing and pointed the nerf gun down at the endless crowd on the main floor, pulling the trigger. The crackling arcs of energy enveloped several foes, who wailed and vanished. Same as before, the giant insectoids rarely disappeared but seemed slowed or staggered by the attack. Santa fought his way forward, forcing the attackers back from Ginny. Try as they might, no one got by him, even if it meant that they could strike at him instead. He took their assaults resolutely, using his body as a shield to protect her. Before long, the floor of the hallway was littered with bodies, some barely stirring, others not moving at all. Still, the foes swarmed up the stairs. One of the bug-things swiped at him with its vicious claws and he ducked under the blow before kicking his boot into one of the reverse-jointed legs, snapping it. The bug screeched and tumbled and he leapt onto its back, grabbing hold of one of the large, wet-grey chitinous plates that armored its back and pulled, it tore away with a mushy crack and the beast's keened agony as it shuddered and thrashed. Without pausing, Santa whirled around and slammed the exoskeletal plate across several men's heads, dropping them. Ginny kept firing the nerf tesla gun, wondering what sort of sociopath would invent a deadly weapon that looked like a famous kid's toy. She pushed it from her mind, realizing that she wanted to live and didn't care at the moment about the social mores of the issue. Santa was using the huge chitin plate almost like a shield, driving his foes back with it to the stairs. It finally cracked in half and he punched through the mess, unwilling to give the enemy time to regroup. He spun one man around with a fist across the jaw before grabbing his arms from behind and ramming his knee into the man's back, lifting him off the floor and letting him slam his spine onto the stairs. Without waiting, Santa launched himself through the air, knee raised and smashed it into the face of a man on the stair's corner landing. The foe's head went back through the wall with a loud crunch and he hung there limply, no longer part of the battle. "Ack!" Ginny squawked as the nerf gun sputtered and let out several impotent flashes and then died. "Not now! No no no!" One foe had broken through the cordon and now raced toward her. She yelled loudly and smashed the butt of her nerf gun into his face, staggering him for a moment. She glared at him angrily, waiting for him to fall, but her didn't, so she kicked him in the crotch with her instep. He groaned and sunk to his knees, holding himself. Ginny was practically jumping up and down on top of him by the time he stopped moving. "Stay; the; fuck; down!" she shouted angrily as she turned his ribcage into powder. She failed to notice the one last foe who rushed up behind her. But then Santa was at her side and he delivered a devastating haymaker to the man's thorax. Stunned, the intruder staggered back against the railing. With a growl, Santa grabbed him by the face and ruthlessly bent his back over the railing before leaping over and slamming his elbow across the man's neck as he went down to the main floor. The lifeless form crumpled next to him as he looked around, glaring. No foes remained standing. Aside from the music, all was quiet. "It is safe?" Ginny called from the gallery. "Are the scary guys and bug-thingies all gone?" "No," Santa said warily. "And the next wave is even bigger." "Great!" Ginny complained, tossing the useless nerf gun over the side. "And according to you, there's no one that can help us!" "I didn't say that," he countered, beckoning for her to come down the stairs and be near him for protection. "I just said there was no Easter Bunny." "No Superman either, apparently," she grumbled as she approached him, letting him put a huge arm around her possessively. He was, indeed, bigger than ever. She was practically child-sized next to him now. "So who the hell is there to help us?" "If help's arriving it had better get here soon," he said, taking her to the remains of her big glass bay windows and back door. The wind was howling as snow drove into the living room. What was left of it, anyway. Which was nothing. "It's now or never. Can you see them?" She peered into the darkness outside and a chill ran down her spine, hundreds of red and yellow glowing eyes could be seen in the darkness. And they seemed to be getting closer. "Do; do they see me?" she asked, swallowing nervously. "I'm sure they do," he said, grimacing. "Not going to take a chance and assume they don't. I'll do everything I can to protect you, of course." "Is; is that going to be enough?" She could hear the angry hisses and an evil chanting outside clearly now, getting closer with each moment. It pained Santa that he couldn't lie to her. "I don't know, Virginia." She sighed and smiled weakly. "Well, at least I know there's a Santa Claus now. And he gave me the night of my life before it all ended." He returned the smile, trying to feign a cheerfulness he didn't feel. "I don't;" Ginny faltered, trying to find the words. "I don't suppose that you'd; well; that you'd be willing to kiss me one last time? You know, before the end?" He turned to look down at her, his hands holding her arms with an unreal gentleness and a warmth in his eyes that comforted her even now. "Nothing would make me happier, Virginia." She smiled and closed her eyes. "Merry Christmas, Santa." "Merry Christmas, Virginia;" he said softly as he leaned down to kiss her. Then the night was filled with high-pitched shrieks, a noise that made her eyes snap open. She'd heard noises like that before, once a long time ago in grade school. It sounds like the hissing passage of meteors above, and getting closer. Or what she imagined artillery sounded like when it was incoming, like in all those war movies. Santa's head turned and an almost evil grin crept over his face as he listened. "That's more like it!" he declared, standing tall and pointing at the blackness of the night. "Watch the sky, Virginia;" She looked up and noticed glittering points of light, dozens of them, seeming to get closer. The hissing shriek was indeed their approach and they seemed to be aimed right at them. She felt Santa's hand squeeze on her shoulder, almost in excitement. His blue eyes were blazing ferociously. Finally, what looked like dozens of giant icicles, each larger and longer than a semi, lanced out of the night sky and slammed into the earth around her house, shaking it as they buried their tips in the frozen ground and came to a stop. Several impaled the intruders as they came in, while others kicked up a covering spray of snow as the enemy stopped and looked around in confusion. Then doors or portals opened on the sides of the titan icicles and tall, lithe beings began leaping out of them, wearing weird, form-fitting armor and carrying space-age guns and swords or axes. Their armor and long hair was a riot of colors that was reflected by the snow and ice. Wild, ululating war cries pierced the air. And a savage, bloody battle began on her property. "Who the hell are they?" Ginny almost yelled in astonishment as she watched. They moved with inhuman grace and speed, the ones not wearing helmets revealing long, beautiful facial features that were often frightening because of the wrath they displayed. The helmets were all tall and peaked, showing fearsome designs and glowing eyes. Weird runes pulsed and throbbed with light all over their armor. Guns hissed and shrieked while swords hummed as they slew. "My elves," Santa said, clearly pleased and also eager to fight but not willing to leave her side yet. "They got my call and converged on my position." "Those are elves?" she exclaimed in amazement. "Aren't they cutesy little toy-shop people?" "Cute myth, but no, not these ones," he replied, watching as several elves wearing bone-white armor with feminine features raced past, throwing themselves into a knot of the hulking bugs. They screamed and the masks of their wild-maned helmets gave off vibrations that shook Ginny's teeth in her head as it melted their foes' faces off. "No, a lot of my elves are warriors, meant to help me fight Krampus. They keep Christmas safe with me." "What the hell are they wearing?" she asked in disbelief. How could this weird night get any weirder? Santa sighed. "Truth? They've been spending way too much time playing Warhammer 40k and they; appropriated armor, weapons and tactics from the Eldar faction. They're space elves." "Wow. Gay;" she muttered, shaking her head. "Well, they're certainly earning their keep tonight." He nodded. "Been a long time since Krampus moved against us this hard. Apparently he got bored and was feeling uppity. That or he just forgot what a good thrashing felt like." Ginny watched as three elves, clad in scary black armor and wearing helmets that looked like peaked skulls, marched relentlessly forward, firing little rockets from elaborate launchers they carried in their hands and on suspensor harnesses. The rockets punctured the bugs' chitin shells and exploded inside them, sending shards of exoskeleton and stinking goo in every direction. Ginny squeaked and hid behind Santa as some of the nasty effluence landed right where she'd been standing only a moment before. Beams of super-heated plasma and tiny, shuriken-like projectiles hissed and whizzed by them, the remains of her lovely house now the center of a battleground while the winter storm raged on. Warriors in green armor, carrying weapons that looked like a horrifying hybrid of sword and chainsaw, tore into a knot of foes, slicing them to bloody ribbons. As savage as the battle had been earlier, when it had just been her and Santa, she suddenly appreciated its relative civility. "They need my help," Santa said finally, cracking his knuckles, his expression grim. "We have to finish this off or Christmas won't come on time." "I thought you said there was plenty of time." Ginny protested, frowning up at him. "There was," he admitted. "But in order to defeat Krampus' minions, I summoned every single quantum iteration of myself back to here to help me fight. No one is delivering presents anywhere at the moment. I can't change real-time if I'm here in my entirety." He turned and looked at her. "Hopefully we're keeping them busy enough that they don't worry about you. Stay against the wall and work the music, will you?" "Manning the music station," she said, nodding, focusing on giving herself a task. "Music for Santa and his homicidal elves to kill by. Got it;" She watched as Santa leapt through the shattered remains of her bay doors into the howling storm and crashed into a knot of foes, savaging them. She watched in disbelief for some time, trying to figure out how Santa could kill anyone. I mean, even serial murderers got presents in prison, didn't they? Maybe they didn't, she had no way of knowing and chalked up thinking about this to what could only be described as the weirdest night of her life. She squealed and dodged out of the way as a body came flying through the doors and landed next to her. She scrambled over to the entertainment center and stood in front of it, trying to figure out what the hell she should play. "Okay;" she breathed, trying to focus. "Mass slaughter music; mass slaughter music;" What constituted mass slaughter music? Death metal? Panic At The Disco? Teletubbies music? She had no playlists, so she began cycling through the radio, hoping to find anything that might suffice. Oldies; Christmas music; hip-hop; trance; disco; "Son of a fuck," she muttered. "This is harder than it looks." She finally came across a station playing 'Jailhouse Rock' and decided that was good enough, she was sick of looking. She winced, trying to ignore another splintering crash as a body came through her wall. She hugged herself but then felt her robe. She frowned as she looked down at it, realizing it had been thoroughly shredded in the fight earlier. Those shuriken-thingies had been cutting it real close. Ginny grumbled as she pulled it off and threw it away, standing there completely naked, it hadn't been keeping her warm in its current condition and she was thoroughly beyond giving a shit at this point about who saw her naked. They were all too damn busy tearing one another apart anyway. And that sort of pissed her off. She was buck-naked and no one seemed to care. She'd shaved her cunt for this? "And I thought my night sucked before," she sighed to no one in particular. "Not getting my cunt pounded had been my biggest complaint before this hack!" She never saw the menacing shadow that had slipped up behind her. Santa picked one of his foes up overhead and hurled him into a cluster of foes, bowling them all over. He then punched another man as he tried to run by, knocking him off his feet and into his back. A quick stamp on his solar plexus made sure he stopped moving. The huge man thrust his fist in the air and shouted loudly. "Clear!" he thundered, indicating no other enemies surrounded him. His elves responded in kind, many of them gathering in a tight ring about him, weapons facing out as they sought to protect him. Hundreds of bodies lay strewn across the landscape, some burning from plasma blasts, other shredded and blown apart by rockets or sliced into bloody jerky. The storm seemed to be abating, no longer a blizzard so much as a stiff wind and swirls of snow. "Sire, we detect no enemies in the immediate vicinity," one elf wearing blue armor with a tall, crested helmet announced, striding up and saluting by thumping his gauntleted fist over his heart. "This attack has been defeated." "Maybe," Santa said, looking around warily. "But that doesn't mean anything just yet. We have to secure the area, make sure Virginia is alright and then get back to” "Kringle!" "Damn," he muttered to himself. "I thought this was too easy." He made several complex gestures, sending his elves fanning out in a wide arc as he began trudging forward through the snow, heading toward where the voice had come from out of the night. The winds and squalls of snow continued to die down until there was an almost deafening silence, the moon shining brightly overhead and revealing the sheer carnage of the battle that had been waged, the snow and ice glittered with frozen blood. "Kringle!" snarled the inhuman voice angrily. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" Santa said loudly, scowling. "Don't get your panties in a bunch!" He stopped in a clearing on the other side of the house, glowering at who confronted him, the beast was not as tall as he was, nor as muscular, but horrifying in aspect. The backward-jointed, hairy legs ended in wicked hooves. The skin not covered in coarse black fur was almost as dark and criss-crossed with innumerable scars. The vascular chest was crowned with a strong neck and sitting atop it was a blasphemous head, a demonic goat's visage from which grew four evil, twisting horns. The red eyes blazed like wrathful coals and sharp teeth glistened wetly inside the hateful mouth. Krampus. And in one of his powerful, clawed hands, he held Virginia by the neck, who looked like a rag doll. "Hi, Santa;" she said weakly, looking very apologetic. Santa kept walking forward, clenching his fists. "By all means, Kringle, keep coming forward if you mean to slay the child." Krampus growled, starting to squeeze and causing Ginny to shudder in fear. Santa stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes narrowing. His elves had now cast a tight net around the scene, hemming in Krampus. One circle of warriors faced inward, pointing their weapons at the abomination while another behind them faced out, prepared for any further attacks. Santa didn't move. "Let the girl go, Krampus," he said levelly. "This doesn't concern her." "Oh, I beg to differ," said the beastman in an almost non-chalant tone. "It's always about the children, isn't it?" "Hey!" said Ginny angrily. "I am not a child, jerk! I'm twenty, Gurr!" "Oh, do stop talking, you're such an annoyance." Krampus said, giving her neck another warning squeeze. "Let the adults work this out." "There's nothing to work out, Krampus," Santa growled, his blue eyes flashing. "You'll let the girl go." "I think we both know that's not happening," intoned the vile intruder. "She is my victory over you, and you know it. Revenge is not only a dish best served cold but often. And not often enough for me." "About this cold revenge dish thing," Ginny said, squirming slightly. "Couldn't; couldn't I just find you a nice tin can to chew on instead?" "Shut up, girl!" Krampus said harshly while several elves could be heard to chuckle and even Santa smirked at her jest. "I hold your life in my hands, to dispose of as I please." His foul breath crackled in the cold night air. His touch was uncomfortably warm, almost hot and strangely kept her body from freezing in the winter night. His touch felt evil and her skin crawled in revulsion. His strength was terrifying. "It wasn't enough that I slaved in coal mines for you, giving you carbon lumps to deliver to naughty children," Krampus growled, glaring at Santa. "It wasn't enough that I found the worst of them and brought them to you in the night so you could lecture them." "Hey, nobody asked you or ordered you to do the coal thing, pal," Santa said angrily. "And the whole kidnapping kids thing was your idea. I decided to let you have some creative control and look what happened. When it didn't work out, you decided that beating naughty kids with reeds was the answer. You're damn right that wasn't good enough!" "Silence!" Krampus snarled loudly, stamping one of his clawed hooves and making the ground shake dangerously. "Your kind-hearted foolishness with these puny mortals changed nothing about their behavior! Your failure to recognize their inherent selfishness was why our efforts were doomed!" "These puny mortals?" Santa countered. "You used to be one of them, Pete, remember? You were a well-behaved boy once." "Shut up!" growled Krampus. "Well-behaved, but not good," Santa continued. "You followed the rules and wanted everyone to follow rules. You were a control freak. I brought you north to show you what kindness could do, but you hated the cheer and the happiness and you fled to the coal mines in Greenland, hiding in the dark where the light of Christmas couldn't touch you! And when making kids feel bad with coal didn't bring them into line, you started the whole whipping them with reeds thing. Good job there, Pete!" "I'm warning you, Kringle;" Krampus said dangerously. "Oh, he really gets your goat, doesn't he?" Ginny sneered, causing several elves to laugh loudly. Krampus now snarled furiously and lifted her into the air by her neck, causing her to cry out in pain. Santa watched warily, knowing better than to make a move. "We seem to have an impasse," Krampus said, an evil smile playing over his slavering mouth. "You cannot harm me, because you know I can slay the child, but I cannot as yet slay her because she is my bargaining chip. But my need to hurt you, old man, is so very strong." He lowered Ginny down until her feet were just touching the snow-covered ground. She frowned as she heard a wet slithering sound she could not identify. "And there are other ways to hurt you than slaying the poor dear, aren't there?" Ginny felt something slimy touch her leg and then start to crawl up it, wrapping around her smooth skin. She shuddered and squirmed in horror as she realized exactly what was happening. The snake-like appendage wound up her thigh and then behind her. She gasped as it slid between her ass cheeks and then underneath to her cunt. She felt the blunt head split her lips and then move upward again. "Don't do this, Krampus." Santa said, trying to figure out what to do without hurting Ginny. "And why not?" replied the qliphotic abomination. "Don't you have a present for me? Then I guess I'll have to give myself one." Krampus' organ continued to slither its way around her body, leaving a glistening trail on her skin. She stiffened and moaned as his appendage wrapped around her tits, squeezing them, the head pausing and teasing the nipples. "Hey, asshole, dinner and a movie first!" she spat angrily. Ginny was about to say something else when the large, grayish cockhead snaked up in front of her face and then plunged into her mouth, causing her to gag and go silent. Her eyes widened and she thrashed furiously, but to no avail. He was simply too strong. "Language, young lady." Krampus chided, still staring at Santa. "Hasn't Santa taught you anything?" "This isn't gonna end well for you, Pete." Santa said, his tone dire. "Christmas never does, Kringle," replied the demon, his cock sliding in and out of Ginny's mouth. "I'm just hoping to make the holiday every bit as awful and intolerable for you as it is for me. After all, misery loves company." He brought her body close to his head and his other hand reached over and stroked her cunt lips, which were glistening. He leered at his foe, knowing Santa was helpless to get closer. "Is she good down here?" Krampus said mockingly. "Nice and wet and tight for you? Was she the best one ever, in the endless list of good girls you have fucked?" Santa said nothing, just glaring at Krampus. His knuckles were white as he clenched his fists. "Sharing your toys is the spirit of Christmas, isn't it?" Krampus said evilly, finally pulling his cock out of her mouth. Ginny coughed and sputtered, tendrils of resinous spittle and worse trailing away from her lips. She glared at Krampus but was still immobilized. "Just get this over with and fuck me already, whip-cock," she spat. "You won't be my first egotistical disappointment, trust me." Krampus' eyes blazed red and his tongue sped around her naked form blindingly quickly while he released her from his clawed grip. The tongue wrapped and immobilized her arms, holding them out straight while still encircling her tits. It then snaked around her waist and legs, pinning those as well while his long cock, swaying about like a cobra, came to a stop in front of her swollen cunt lips. The head teased and tapped against the opening, causing her to moan and squirm. "As you wish, child;" The head forced itself through her lips, sliding deep inside her. Ginny cried out in a mixture of shock and indescribable pleasure. She felt the tip of his pointed tongue probe trailing around her nipples. The python-like length of his cock churned inside her cunt. The blinding light behind her eyes finally receded and she lifted her head, looking out into the night, feeling his tongue constricting around her neck. She could dimly see a huge being in red pants and black boots watching nearby, his powerful chest exposed. The startling blue eyes flashed in the darkness of the night. She could tell he wanted to rescue her but didn't dare come closer. She gasped and shuddered as Krampus' cock pushed still deeper inside her. She felt fuller than she had imagined possible, the slithering appendage stretching her wide. The sticky, squelching noises were hardly to be believed. "Ew, gross! Hentai noises!" she thought in revulsion. "Krampus;" Santa warned. His elves all pointed their weapons menacingly but he held up his hand, staying them. "The child is naughty," Krampus said, smiling through pointed teeth. "Very naughty. Such a sordid past." "Hey, back off, she was young and needed the money!" Santa snapped defensively. "That thing with the midget and the donkey was” "You're not helping here!" Ginny shouted, blushing furiously, even as Krampus violated her. "Wicked child," growled the vile demon, shoving his cock in and out of her, the peristaltic actions of its length causing her to writhe and squirm in his grip, her breath coming in ragged gasps. "Shameless. Even though I violate her, she finds a way to be concerned about how you perceive her. I find it; titillating." "Oh, do I make you horny?" she sneered, turning her head to smirk at him. "Couldn't tell, looking at that head of yours." "Silence!" Krampus hissed, spittle flying from his jaws, his eyes flashing angrily. "I hold your life and death in my hands." "How would I know?" she shot back. "Hope you're better with your hands than you are with your cock, Billy G." He plunged his cock deeper still inside her. She went rigid and cried out. "That all you got?" she rasped, trying not to faint as she felt popping inside her hips while he stetched her. "My brother got in deeper than that when we were little!" "Insolent!" Krampus snarled savagely, bouncing her up and down and he fucked her harder than ever, pulling on her arms and legs, stretching her joints til they creaked. She felt a deep, wet heat building inside her and in spite of the horror she consciously felt about the situation, even more dire was her need to cum. She felt her cunt squeezing around his cock. His snake-like tongue probed her ass and wriggled inside, further adding to her desperation. "Intholent bith, you will be punithed!" "What was that?" Santa asked, turning his head slightly and putting his hand to his ear. "I couldn't understand you, it's like you have a lisp or something." "Don't mock meef!" Krampus said angrily, his tongue whipping out of Ginny's ass, causing her to yelp suddenly. "I'll kill her, Kringle!" "Not before I cum, damn you!" Ginny panted, her body flushed and covered in sweat as she twisted and writhed in his grip. "Uh, so close, goddammit!" "Language!" Santa and Krampus both snapped at her. "Aw, c'mon!" she wailed. "You two are total pains in the ass! Do it, Billy! Show me what a bad boy you are!" Krampus glared at her and began fucking her harder than ever. "As you wish, child!" "Krampus!" Santa shouted, reaching out his hand in alarm. "Don't!" Krampus grinned evilly at Santa, his teeth clenching as he drew close to climax. His cock seemed to swell along its length, stretching her wider still. She threw her head back and gritted her teeth, straining as she was overwhelmed by sensation; Santa's fist slammed across Krampus' jaw with a powerful crack. The demonoid's eyes rolled into his head and he crumpled to the ground. Ginny wailed in frustration as his cock pulled out of her and retreated back to his body, like a wet, slimy Stanley tape measure. She collapsed to her hands and knees in the snow, panting and shaking, her eyes wide. Santa raced up and knelt next to her, his eyes shining with concern. "Fuck;" Ginny whispered, gasping for air. "Motherfucker;" She looked up at her rescuer now, her eyes flashing accusingly. "The hell? Couldn't you have let him make me cum first?" Santa paused. "What?" "I was so damn close!" she hissed, standing up and stamping her foot. "I was within half a second of the orgasm of my life and you had to choose that moment to intervene and play the hero! Don't expect a thank you card!" "Uh, Virginia," Santa said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, trying to figure out what to say. "If he had brought you to orgasm, it would have killed you. When Krampus climaxes, his appendage you were so attached to bursts into spikes, basically killing you from the inside while denying you your orgasm." She paused and then deflated. "Holy cobra dildos. What a bastard." Ginny then pointed a finger at her savior. "But you still owe me an orgasm, then, pal. You may have rescued me from certain death, but that doesn't mean I don't need relief." Santa looked really confused. "What, here? Now?" "Damn straight," she said firmly, suddenly remembering she was buck naked in a snow-storm. In spite of the no-doubt freezing weather, her body was still warm and very wet with need. She put her hand down her cunt and felt around for a moment before presenting her sticky palm and fingers to Santa for inspection. "Do I look satisfied to you? You've already fucked me, Screamo the Goat Boy just fucked me, who cares if your freaky gay elves watch us? I need satisfaction now and I already am aware that you can't say no." Santa sighed. "It's gotta be quick, Virginia. I'm really behind, now that I'm completely temporal in one location." "Whatever, just get me to the promised land, man." Ginny replied, shrugging. "Who knows, maybe your entourage might enjoy a show." "Oh, right, about that," Santa said, standing up tall and shouting loudly. "About; Face!" As a single unit, the elves all turned around smartly on their heels, still arranged in a protective ring around their liege and his companion, weapons ready as they scanned the darkness for trouble, their eyes glowing menacingly inside their helmets. Santa strode up to Ginny, towering over her and ignoring the prostrate form of the still-unconscious Krampus, snuffling nearby. She smiled up at him, somehow warmed by his presence, in spite of the icy night she should have frozen to death in already. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply. She moaned into his mouth as she felt her already molten core getting even more heated in response to his touch. Tongues tangled and played as he took her ass cheeks in his hands and squeezed them, making her shiver. Ginny's hands fumbled with his large black belt until it fell away and then pulled down his red pants. He pulled her onto his powerful thighs, resting her on them. She hooked her legs behind his waist and began grinding her wet, eager cunt against his hardening cock, which swelled readily. Her head was almost spinning, she was so horny. "Hmm, give it to me, baby," she purred, feeling the head of his cock touch her cunt lips. "Make me cum hard and fast." She sighed loudly as he pulled her close, penetrating and sliding deep inside her. Ginny moaned shamelessly as Santa once again began to pump back and forth inside her. His huge cock stretched her cunt wide, but not in the violent, violating way Krampus did. This felt warm and utterly perfect. She nipped at the skin of his chest while he moved in and out of her. "Yes," Ginny breathed as he began to moved faster, pumping strongly and rhythmically. She could feel her wetness trickling down between her cheeks, her cunt clutching at him hungrily, greedily and unwilling to let go until it was somehow sated. "Oh, God, just what I needed. Yes, fuck me, Santa!" He gripped her tight and thrust into her, picking up his pace just the way she wanted. She was gasping and yelping now and he squeezed her cheeks, one of his fingers poking inside her puckered knot. She clenched her teeth and groaned at the intrusion, murmuring that she loved it. She grew warmer and warmer, her body tingling with an exquisite fire that rippled out from her core. Santa turned her around and set her feet on top of his boots, bending her forward and pulling on her arms. She cried out as he fucked her harder, his hips thumping against her ass cheeks. Her hands clenched wildly, her breath coming in gasps as his overwhelming strength dominated her. "Oh, God!" she panted, beginning to shudder uncontrollably, almost drooling. "Uh, cum in me, dammit! Fucking cum in me!" Santa pulled on her arms even tighter as his thighs slammed into her. Ginny strained, craning her neck, teeth clenched as she tried not to scream, but it was no use, she wailed loudly as he came inside her, filling her once again in a way she could not describe. Her orgasm shook every last atom of her being, transporting her to a world of nothing but pleasure, edged with mint. She buckled, hanging loosely in his arms, exhausted. She'd been fucked hard at least five times tonight and had a dreadful suspicion that this experience would only make her libido even more hyperactive. She sighed as Santa scooped her naked form into his arms and cuddled her against the cold. Ginny purred and traced a fingernail across his broad chest. "Thank you," she said quietly. "Just what the doctor ordered. That quenched the flames, for now." He finally put her down and she looked at the remains of her ruined chateau, which was completely leveled and now on fire. "Poor Oatmeal," she murmured. "Where am I going to live?" She scowled down at the still supine Krampus, anger flaring in her. "It's this jack wagon’s fault. You should totally napalm his face." Santa looked down at her in shock. "Did you just say I should jerk off in Krampus' face?" "Damn right, he'd deserve it too." Ginny announced. "That and shove your sleigh up his ass." "I am not jizzing in Krampus' face." Santa said, clearly repulsed by the suggestion. "Fine, leave a woman to do a man's job," Ginny said testily, striding over to Krampus and putting one leg on either side of his head. She stuck three fingers inside her cunt and managed to tease out considerable amounts of Santa's minty cum, which she smeared all over Krampus' face and into his fur with glee, even giving him a glistening white moustache. "Take that, asshole!" She looked like she might have been done desecrating the unconscious form, but then she paused and squatted over him, peeing on his body and face, the stream steaming in the cold night air. She grinned evilly as she thoroughly baptized him. "Teach you to mess with me." Ginny muttered as she walked back to Santa, nodding. The huge man had a wide smirk on his face and shook his head slowly. "I can't believe you just pissed all over Krampus," he said, hugging her to him. "However, you're going to freeze to death at this rate;" He held out his hand and one of his elves dutifully brought him a large, velvety red cloak, which he wrapped around her. She blushed and smiled gratefully at his consideration, but only until he slid it off her, revealing that she was now wearing some ridiculous 'Hot Christmas Elf' outfit, complete with striped stockings and high heels. She looked like a Yule whore. "Seriously?" she asked, unimpressed. "This is your solution to my naked issues?" He shrugged. "I liked you better naked, but you would freeze quickly." "Whatever," she sighed, looking down and appreciating the considerable lift it gave her cleavage. It was incredibly warm, in spite of how scant it was. "So now what? I still have no damn home, you and Goatse here blew it up with your little barnyard brawl." Santa looked around warily. "That might be the least of your worries. The wind's picking up again, which means that another assault is coming. We need to get out of here." "Sire!" said one of the armored elves, thumping his fist to his breastplate and bowing his head. "We will cover you. You must go while you still have a head-start and the dark one is unconscious." Santa nodded. "Yeah, he's not gonna be happy when he wakes up and he's really gonna want revenge on you, Virginia." She felt her mouth go dry at the notion of another battle and Krampus waking up to even the score. "So; now what?" Santa shrugged. "I'd say it's fairly obvious. I've still got to make my rounds before the night is over and I'm not leaving you here;" She gaped as he put his hands on her shoulders and looked down into her eyes. "Virginia, you're coming with me and you're going to help save Christmas." Chapter 3, Christmas Wishes "How the hell do you drive this thing?" Ginny called in a panic, her eyes wide as she held onto the reigns, twisting them wildly as she tried to steer. Up ahead of her, eight large reindeer squealed and thrashed their heads. The sleigh corkscrewed while it hurtled through the cold night air, the moon shining down on them. "Well, first of all, stop panicking," Santa replied as he stood on the back of the sleigh, atop his huge red sack of toys. He was more or less back to his original size she had become accustomed to, now that he had sent his other 'iterations' of himself out over the globe to deliver presents. "That would be an excellent start." "Easy for you to say," she snapped, scowling back at him for a moment since taking her eyes off her designated path seemed to make no difference to how she was doing at navigating. "You're used to doing this!" "Trust me, between the two of us, you're the one with the easy job right now and I'd be happy to trade," he called back as he ducked wildly. A comically large rocket thundered by, with an evil-looking man strapped to the bottom of it, swinging a weapon wildly to hit Santa. "Try to keep her steady!" "While dodging psychos on rockets, no problem!" she grumbled, trying to ignore the howling wind and roaring projectiles. "Have I mentioned Krampus is a gigantic asshole?" "Repeatedly," Santa answered, watching warily. The sky was threaded with jets of fire as their enemies kept coming about in ponderous, elliptical arcs and heading back towards them, intent on their destruction. They had only just pulled off from the smoldering remains of Ginny's country chateau when the assault began. Krampus was nowhere to be seen, but his minions were clearly determined to avenge him. "Maybe urinating on him wasn't such a good idea. He never did take humiliation well." Ginny squawked in alarm and ducked as a rocket streaked right at her. Santa jumped in the air, doing the splits to avoid the projectile and landing back on top of his present sack. Another tried to pull up alongside them but Santa grabbed the harness the man was wearing and wrenched the rocket off course, sending it speeding into one some distance away. Both rockets (and presumably their pilots) exploded in a violent orgy of noise and flashing lights. "Really hope people just think those are fireworks," Santa muttered as he looked glared balefully at yet another rocket considering approaching. "Fireworks right in the middle of the world's most spastic meteor shower. Sure, they'll buy that;" "Funny part is I can't tell if you're serious," Ginny said loudly. "If they don't believe that narrative, then they've gotta accept that Santa Claus was engaged in an epic air battle over their town with quantum men strapped to rockets." "Truth is often stranger than fiction," Santa agreed, nodding. "Fighting these jerks off is taking too much time!" "Well, don't you have anything in your back of tricks there?" Ginny asked. In spite of the sleigh being open, it seemed to have some weird form of climate control and she'd been getting rather warm. To that end she'd pulled down her top, exposing her tits to cool herself off. The breeze allowed through made her nipples tingle delightfully, but not enough to distract her from driving the sleigh. After all, she often drove ninety minutes to her job wearing a vibrating insert in her panties, so she knew for a fact she could orgasm and still control a vehicle. A wheeled one, at least. She wasn't so sure about a sleigh doing Mach Three at twenty thousand feet. "You mean a weapon?" Santa asked. "In the bag full of toys for kids?" "You gave me a nerf gun out of that bag and it turned out to be some sort of doomsday device, didn't it?" she pointed out. "Scary lightning bolts everywhere. I refuse to believe you don't have some other goodies in there." Santa shrugged and squatted down to look inside the bag, getting narrowly missed by another rocket that shot over his head. The pilot cursed and came around again, aiming directly at the chassis of the sleigh from the side. Ginny's eyes widened in fright as she saw him approach. She jerked the reins to one side and the sleigh tilted ninety degrees, presenting its wide, flat red underside. The rocket slammed into it and exploded. Whatever it was made of or whatever shielding was in place, Ginny only heard the detonation and felt a rumble, but there was no damage aside from that. "Ha!" Santa said, standing tall and holding an electric guitar in the air, its black body gleamed in the moonlight. He put the strap around his neck and took several seconds to tune it, ignoring the aerial mayhem that swirled around him. "The hell are you going to do with that?" Ginny asked, scowling as she looked behind to see what he was up to. "You said to find something, I found something," he said simply as he checked the pickups. "Now let's see what we can do here;" He took the pick in hand and strummed it across the strings, a screeching pulse of sound blared out from the instrument, heading in all directions. It struck several rockets nearby, which exploded brightly. Other were knocked off course, spiraling around crazily as they fought for control. Santa laughed loudly, apparently enjoying himself. "Quit laughing and kill, red man!" Ginny yelled, nonplussed by his amusement. "I want to survive the night and I've had several close calls with death already!" "I'm working on it, Virginia, patience." Santa chided, adjusting the tuners momentarily. "Near-death experiences make you cranky." "No shit, Sherlock," she grumbled as he blasted out another screeching wave of sound. "Do you plan to play anything or just keep shrieking out that one sound?" "As you wish," he said cheerfully, pleased to be doing as she asked. Making her happy was all he cared about. He began playing a heavy metal version of Wagner's 'Ride of the Valkyries', the pulsing walls of sound thundering out and striking every foe within hundreds of

Miracle On Route 34: Part 2 Virginia and Santa face extreme danger together. Based on a post by BiscuitHammer, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Someone attacked Santa with a wicked-looking spiked hand-axe, something out of a sci-fi movie. He batted the weapon aside and clapped his open hands across the man's ears, busting his brain. Before he dropped, Santa grabbed the corpse and swung it around in a wide arc, smashing it into the foes surrounding him and knocking them back. "Shit!" Ginny squealed as one of the targets landed near her. "It's like the fucking Matrix in here!" As he threw the corpse away, he paused very briefly and glanced at her. "Since you happen to be right there, how about a little mood music?" "What?" "I'm just saying some music would be nice if we're going to be doing this," he called. "You're next to the entertainment system, how about putting something on?" "You’re shitting me, right?" she almost complained, wincing as she heard something delicate-sounding and expensive smash behind her amidst the wild brawl. She stared at the multimedia system, flapping her arms in frustration as she tried to focus through the noise. This couldn't be happening. She clutched the sleeves of her plush robe for a moment, trying to concentrate on its soft, fuzzy texture and center herself. She'd almost forgotten the large nerf gun in her hands but ignored it now, fixing her gaze on the mp3 playlist. She pressed a button. "Silent night; Holy night;" Bing crooned through the room. "Not really what I had in mind!" Santa mentioned loudly as he rammed his knee into a man's chin. "Try again!" Ginny bit her lip and pressed the button again, this time rewarded with Gary Glitter singing 'Another Rock And Roll Christmas'. "Still not quite there," he said as he snapmared another foe. "Better, but not quite!" "Well I don't know!" she shouted in exasperation. "What kind of music do you put on while Santa kills things in your living room?" Santa turned sideways and thrust his foot out, kicking an intruder in the chest and sending him sprawling backwards, rolling head over heels until he thumped into the entertainment system, jolting it and skipping the player. "I am a bitch. How do you want me? From behind, or on my knees? I am a slut, please hold me down, I'll be your noise, This shit will fuck you up!" "Perfect!" he declared as he fought, swarmed once again by foes. "Seriously?" Ginny yelled. "Combichrist is Santa's fucking fighting groove?" "I'm trying to figure out why you have it on your playlist," Santa replied. "I don't remember you liking aggrotech!" "Why the hell do you of all people even know what it is?" she shot back, wincing as she watched another body sail into the opposite wall with a sickening crunch before dropping to the floor and leaving a huge, crumbling dent in the stone. 'This Shit Will Fuck You Up!' "I prefer the term 'Hellektro' myself," he added. "And I know all songs, silly. I remember when the Dayglo Abortions wrote that 'Hey Santa!' song back in the '80's, they didn't get presents for” "I didn't ask, why are you answering?" she hissed. "Kill! Kill!" All the while, the pounding rhythms of the music filled the room. "I am a bitch. How do you want me? From behind, or on my knees? I am a slut, please hold me down, I'll be your noise, This shit will fuck you up!" "Well, at least we know why it's on your playlist, anyway!" he mentioned as he broke someone's back over his knee. "Very funny, red man!" Ginny hissed, scowling. She ducked wildly as another assailant flew overhead and landed in the Jacuzzi, his neck slamming against the hard edge with a snap noise and then tilting at a strange angle, his eyes wide and unseeing. "Fucking hell," she muttered. "These guys eat too much red meat!" Santa smashed two heads together before punting a third man in the chest, sending him staggering back until he fell against the entertainment unit, right next to Ginny, his eyes spiraling in his head. She scowled down at him for a moment before smashing the pitcher of nog on his cranium and sending him to the floor. Every single intruder stopped and turned to look at her suddenly, their eyes narrowing and turning very yellow. "Eep;" Ginny said quietly, going pale. They all howled and lunged toward her, even as Santa fought to reach her first. She shrieked in fright. "Darn it, Ginny!" he shouted in what almost sounded like irritation. "I told you not to do anything!" "You said not to use the stupid nerf gun!" she shot back as she dodged wildly and began to run around, evading her pursuers. "I meant don't do anything to get yourself noticed!" he growled as he bulldogged one man's head into the floor. He sprang to his feet and grabbed another man by the back of the head, ramming his face into the stone wall, creating a small crater from which the body slumped only slowly and wetly. "How the hell did they not notice the mostly naked girl in the room?" she yelled, sprinting around the circumference of the room, being chased by yellow-eyed foes. "They're mostly quantum, they don't always perceive real-state things or beings until they're interacted with!" he answered. "They weren't looking for you until you announced yourself!" "Oh, you and your weird physics shit!" she groused, her robe coming more and more undone as she ran. One of her tits was exposed, bouncing annoyingly and the nipple hardening as a cold wind from the endless holes in her walls and windows blew into the room. "Now what?" "Well, since they know you're here, you might as well use the gun," he answered as he tackled a small knot of them who were looking to cut off her avenue of escape. "At least then you can defend yourself if you're careful!" "The fuck am I supposed to do?" she shouted angrily as she clutched the ridiculous, useless gun. "Nerf them to death? Hope I shoot one foam dart down a throat and hope the bastard chokes and dies?" "Didn't you just let me inside all of your orifices?" he pointed out as he spun low, sweeping one foe's feet from under him and then taking him by the ankles to slam him off the floor. "Trust me, Virginia!" "Dammit!" she spat, steeling her nerve, hoping her resolve was harder than her nipple currently was. Taking a deep breath, she stopped running and spun, pointing the gun and pulling the plastic trigger; She yelped in astonishment as coruscating arcs of lightning crackled and lashed out from the muzzle, enveloping several foes, who wailed in glowing agony before disappearing from view. "Jesus H Fucking Tesla!" she exclaimed in amazement as she gaped down at her toy. "Virginia, language!" Santa warned. She rolled her eyes and pointed at another man rushing her, pulling the trigger and watching him explode in a shower of scintillating particles. "This shit will fuck you up!" blared the speakers. The wall splintered next to Ginny and several terrifying creatures barged in, causing her to shriek in fright, they were easily Santa's size, vaguely humanoid but covered in a greyish, segmented carapace, with insectoid heads, evil-looking mandibles and huge claws at the end of four arms. They hissed as the lunged for her. "Fuck fuck fuck!" cried out as she began running. "Fucking hate motherfucking bugs!" She fired wildly behind herself without looking, managing to strike one of the new creatures but only slowing it down. Ginny raced for the stairs, stampeding up them only to find more of the yellow-eyed humanoids waiting for her. "Santa!" she cried out in terror. "Help!" He glanced her way and grimaced at her predicament. "Aw, hell;" With a strength born of the desperation to protect one of his precious children, he surged forward, shoulder-blocking his way through a knot of assailants, springing through the air with astonishing agility, alternately using the wall and railing of the stairs to get to the upper floor, twisting and executing a flying kick that downed a foe about to attack Ginny. "Good thing I wore my enhanced parkour boots tonight, eh?" he muttered as he glared at the foes crowding to get up the stairs or down the hallway at them. "I don't even know what that means." Ginny snapped, backing up warily as the horde coming for them grew in numbers. "If that's some sort of geek speak, then we, are you getting bigger?" "I guess I am," he replied, grimly, glaring at their foes. "I don't expect what I'm saying to make sense, but the other iterations of me, my other selves, they're all coming here, merging with me to help meet the threat." "You're; consolidating?" she asked in disbelief. "That's one way to look at it," he said, his blue eyes flashing. "It's gonna make finishing the Christmas run tight if I get held up here much longer." "Oh, terribly sorry if I'm inconveniencing you, your highness." Ginny said, trying to not sound too snide. He put his body between her and her foes, backing her up against the wall. "They can't come through the wall you're up against, it's the South wall," he said quietly but with a sense of urgency. "You're safe from that angle. You can fire your gun past me or over the rail at the guys down below. Since they're trying to reach you that means they've solidified enough that they can't do crazy things like jump seven meters up to reach you, they'll have to use the stairs." "I thought they were after you." Ginny said hotly. "They were, until you announced yourself with a jug of nog," he pointed out. "Now they want to destroy you to hurt me." "Oh. Sorry." Ginny mumbled somewhat sheepishly. "You can make it up to me later!" he said as he surged forward suddenly, bulling his way through the approaching crowd, clotheslining several at once. Shouts went up and the fight was on again. Santa punched, kicked, elbowed, kneed and wrenched his way through the enemy horde. Ginny swore he was indeed bigger than he had been earlier. His already hard body physique was almost bulging with muscles now, like a California beach bodybuilder. Black blood glistened on his flawless skin as he maimed the attackers. Droplets that hit the carpet sizzled and ate through it, burning the hardwood floor beneath. "No!" Ginny wailed in despair. "Not the hardwood! I loved that feature!" She glared and gritted her teeth as she leaned over the railing and pointed the nerf gun down at the endless crowd on the main floor, pulling the trigger. The crackling arcs of energy enveloped several foes, who wailed and vanished. Same as before, the giant insectoids rarely disappeared but seemed slowed or staggered by the attack. Santa fought his way forward, forcing the attackers back from Ginny. Try as they might, no one got by him, even if it meant that they could strike at him instead. He took their assaults resolutely, using his body as a shield to protect her. Before long, the floor of the hallway was littered with bodies, some barely stirring, others not moving at all. Still, the foes swarmed up the stairs. One of the bug-things swiped at him with its vicious claws and he ducked under the blow before kicking his boot into one of the reverse-jointed legs, snapping it. The bug screeched and tumbled and he leapt onto its back, grabbing hold of one of the large, wet-grey chitinous plates that armored its back and pulled, it tore away with a mushy crack and the beast's keened agony as it shuddered and thrashed. Without pausing, Santa whirled around and slammed the exoskeletal plate across several men's heads, dropping them. Ginny kept firing the nerf tesla gun, wondering what sort of sociopath would invent a deadly weapon that looked like a famous kid's toy. She pushed it from her mind, realizing that she wanted to live and didn't care at the moment about the social mores of the issue. Santa was using the huge chitin plate almost like a shield, driving his foes back with it to the stairs. It finally cracked in half and he punched through the mess, unwilling to give the enemy time to regroup. He spun one man around with a fist across the jaw before grabbing his arms from behind and ramming his knee into the man's back, lifting him off the floor and letting him slam his spine onto the stairs. Without waiting, Santa launched himself through the air, knee raised and smashed it into the face of a man on the stair's corner landing. The foe's head went back through the wall with a loud crunch and he hung there limply, no longer part of the battle. "Ack!" Ginny squawked as the nerf gun sputtered and let out several impotent flashes and then died. "Not now! No no no!" One foe had broken through the cordon and now raced toward her. She yelled loudly and smashed the butt of her nerf gun into his face, staggering him for a moment. She glared at him angrily, waiting for him to fall, but her didn't, so she kicked him in the crotch with her instep. He groaned and sunk to his knees, holding himself. Ginny was practically jumping up and down on top of him by the time he stopped moving. "Stay; the; fuck; down!" she shouted angrily as she turned his ribcage into powder. She failed to notice the one last foe who rushed up behind her. But then Santa was at her side and he delivered a devastating haymaker to the man's thorax. Stunned, the intruder staggered back against the railing. With a growl, Santa grabbed him by the face and ruthlessly bent his back over the railing before leaping over and slamming his elbow across the man's neck as he went down to the main floor. The lifeless form crumpled next to him as he looked around, glaring. No foes remained standing. Aside from the music, all was quiet. "It is safe?" Ginny called from the gallery. "Are the scary guys and bug-thingies all gone?" "No," Santa said warily. "And the next wave is even bigger." "Great!" Ginny complained, tossing the useless nerf gun over the side. "And according to you, there's no one that can help us!" "I didn't say that," he countered, beckoning for her to come down the stairs and be near him for protection. "I just said there was no Easter Bunny." "No Superman either, apparently," she grumbled as she approached him, letting him put a huge arm around her possessively. He was, indeed, bigger than ever. She was practically child-sized next to him now. "So who the hell is there to help us?" "If help's arriving it had better get here soon," he said, taking her to the remains of her big glass bay windows and back door. The wind was howling as snow drove into the living room. What was left of it, anyway. Which was nothing. "It's now or never. Can you see them?" She peered into the darkness outside and a chill ran down her spine, hundreds of red and yellow glowing eyes could be seen in the darkness. And they seemed to be getting closer. "Do; do they see me?" she asked, swallowing nervously. "I'm sure they do," he said, grimacing. "Not going to take a chance and assume they don't. I'll do everything I can to protect you, of course." "Is; is that going to be enough?" She could hear the angry hisses and an evil chanting outside clearly now, getting closer with each moment. It pained Santa that he couldn't lie to her. "I don't know, Virginia." She sighed and smiled weakly. "Well, at least I know there's a Santa Claus now. And he gave me the night of my life before it all ended." He returned the smile, trying to feign a cheerfulness he didn't feel. "I don't;" Ginny faltered, trying to find the words. "I don't suppose that you'd; well; that you'd be willing to kiss me one last time? You know, before the end?" He turned to look down at her, his hands holding her arms with an unreal gentleness and a warmth in his eyes that comforted her even now. "Nothing would make me happier, Virginia." She smiled and closed her eyes. "Merry Christmas, Santa." "Merry Christmas, Virginia;" he said softly as he leaned down to kiss her. Then the night was filled with high-pitched shrieks, a noise that made her eyes snap open. She'd heard noises like that before, once a long time ago in grade school. It sounds like the hissing passage of meteors above, and getting closer. Or what she imagined artillery sounded like when it was incoming, like in all those war movies. Santa's head turned and an almost evil grin crept over his face as he listened. "That's more like it!" he declared, standing tall and pointing at the blackness of the night. "Watch the sky, Virginia;" She looked up and noticed glittering points of light, dozens of them, seeming to get closer. The hissing shriek was indeed their approach and they seemed to be aimed right at them. She felt Santa's hand squeeze on her shoulder, almost in excitement. His blue eyes were blazing ferociously. Finally, what looked like dozens of giant icicles, each larger and longer than a semi, lanced out of the night sky and slammed into the earth around her house, shaking it as they buried their tips in the frozen ground and came to a stop. Several impaled the intruders as they came in, while others kicked up a covering spray of snow as the enemy stopped and looked around in confusion. Then doors or portals opened on the sides of the titan icicles and tall, lithe beings began leaping out of them, wearing weird, form-fitting armor and carrying space-age guns and swords or axes. Their armor and long hair was a riot of colors that was reflected by the snow and ice. Wild, ululating war cries pierced the air. And a savage, bloody battle began on her property. "Who the hell are they?" Ginny almost yelled in astonishment as she watched. They moved with inhuman grace and speed, the ones not wearing helmets revealing long, beautiful facial features that were often frightening because of the wrath they displayed. The helmets were all tall and peaked, showing fearsome designs and glowing eyes. Weird runes pulsed and throbbed with light all over their armor. Guns hissed and shrieked while swords hummed as they slew. "My elves," Santa said, clearly pleased and also eager to fight but not willing to leave her side yet. "They got my call and converged on my position." "Those are elves?" she exclaimed in amazement. "Aren't they cutesy little toy-shop people?" "Cute myth, but no, not these ones," he replied, watching as several elves wearing bone-white armor with feminine features raced past, throwing themselves into a knot of the hulking bugs. They screamed and the masks of their wild-maned helmets gave off vibrations that shook Ginny's teeth in her head as it melted their foes' faces off. "No, a lot of my elves are warriors, meant to help me fight Krampus. They keep Christmas safe with me." "What the hell are they wearing?" she asked in disbelief. How could this weird night get any weirder? Santa sighed. "Truth? They've been spending way too much time playing Warhammer 40k and they; appropriated armor, weapons and tactics from the Eldar faction. They're space elves." "Wow. Gay;" she muttered, shaking her head. "Well, they're certainly earning their keep tonight." He nodded. "Been a long time since Krampus moved against us this hard. Apparently he got bored and was feeling uppity. That or he just forgot what a good thrashing felt like." Ginny watched as three elves, clad in scary black armor and wearing helmets that looked like peaked skulls, marched relentlessly forward, firing little rockets from elaborate launchers they carried in their hands and on suspensor harnesses. The rockets punctured the bugs' chitin shells and exploded inside them, sending shards of exoskeleton and stinking goo in every direction. Ginny squeaked and hid behind Santa as some of the nasty effluence landed right where she'd been standing only a moment before. Beams of super-heated plasma and tiny, shuriken-like projectiles hissed and whizzed by them, the remains of her lovely house now the center of a battleground while the winter storm raged on. Warriors in green armor, carrying weapons that looked like a horrifying hybrid of sword and chainsaw, tore into a knot of foes, slicing them to bloody ribbons. As savage as the battle had been earlier, when it had just been her and Santa, she suddenly appreciated its relative civility. "They need my help," Santa said finally, cracking his knuckles, his expression grim. "We have to finish this off or Christmas won't come on time." "I thought you said there was plenty of time." Ginny protested, frowning up at him. "There was," he admitted. "But in order to defeat Krampus' minions, I summoned every single quantum iteration of myself back to here to help me fight. No one is delivering presents anywhere at the moment. I can't change real-time if I'm here in my entirety." He turned and looked at her. "Hopefully we're keeping them busy enough that they don't worry about you. Stay against the wall and work the music, will you?" "Manning the music station," she said, nodding, focusing on giving herself a task. "Music for Santa and his homicidal elves to kill by. Got it;" She watched as Santa leapt through the shattered remains of her bay doors into the howling storm and crashed into a knot of foes, savaging them. She watched in disbelief for some time, trying to figure out how Santa could kill anyone. I mean, even serial murderers got presents in prison, didn't they? Maybe they didn't, she had no way of knowing and chalked up thinking about this to what could only be described as the weirdest night of her life. She squealed and dodged out of the way as a body came flying through the doors and landed next to her. She scrambled over to the entertainment center and stood in front of it, trying to figure out what the hell she should play. "Okay;" she breathed, trying to focus. "Mass slaughter music; mass slaughter music;" What constituted mass slaughter music? Death metal? Panic At The Disco? Teletubbies music? She had no playlists, so she began cycling through the radio, hoping to find anything that might suffice. Oldies; Christmas music; hip-hop; trance; disco; "Son of a fuck," she muttered. "This is harder than it looks." She finally came across a station playing 'Jailhouse Rock' and decided that was good enough, she was sick of looking. She winced, trying to ignore another splintering crash as a body came through her wall. She hugged herself but then felt her robe. She frowned as she looked down at it, realizing it had been thoroughly shredded in the fight earlier. Those shuriken-thingies had been cutting it real close. Ginny grumbled as she pulled it off and threw it away, standing there completely naked, it hadn't been keeping her warm in its current condition and she was thoroughly beyond giving a shit at this point about who saw her naked. They were all too damn busy tearing one another apart anyway. And that sort of pissed her off. She was buck-naked and no one seemed to care. She'd shaved her cunt for this? "And I thought my night sucked before," she sighed to no one in particular. "Not getting my cunt pounded had been my biggest complaint before this hack!" She never saw the menacing shadow that had slipped up behind her. Santa picked one of his foes up overhead and hurled him into a cluster of foes, bowling them all over. He then punched another man as he tried to run by, knocking him off his feet and into his back. A quick stamp on his solar plexus made sure he stopped moving. The huge man thrust his fist in the air and shouted loudly. "Clear!" he thundered, indicating no other enemies surrounded him. His elves responded in kind, many of them gathering in a tight ring about him, weapons facing out as they sought to protect him. Hundreds of bodies lay strewn across the landscape, some burning from plasma blasts, other shredded and blown apart by rockets or sliced into bloody jerky. The storm seemed to be abating, no longer a blizzard so much as a stiff wind and swirls of snow. "Sire, we detect no enemies in the immediate vicinity," one elf wearing blue armor with a tall, crested helmet announced, striding up and saluting by thumping his gauntleted fist over his heart. "This attack has been defeated." "Maybe," Santa said, looking around warily. "But that doesn't mean anything just yet. We have to secure the area, make sure Virginia is alright and then get back to” "Kringle!" "Damn," he muttered to himself. "I thought this was too easy." He made several complex gestures, sending his elves fanning out in a wide arc as he began trudging forward through the snow, heading toward where the voice had come from out of the night. The winds and squalls of snow continued to die down until there was an almost deafening silence, the moon shining brightly overhead and revealing the sheer carnage of the battle that had been waged, the snow and ice glittered with frozen blood. "Kringle!" snarled the inhuman voice angrily. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" Santa said loudly, scowling. "Don't get your panties in a bunch!" He stopped in a clearing on the other side of the house, glowering at who confronted him, the beast was not as tall as he was, nor as muscular, but horrifying in aspect. The backward-jointed, hairy legs ended in wicked hooves. The skin not covered in coarse black fur was almost as dark and criss-crossed with innumerable scars. The vascular chest was crowned with a strong neck and sitting atop it was a blasphemous head, a demonic goat's visage from which grew four evil, twisting horns. The red eyes blazed like wrathful coals and sharp teeth glistened wetly inside the hateful mouth. Krampus. And in one of his powerful, clawed hands, he held Virginia by the neck, who looked like a rag doll. "Hi, Santa;" she said weakly, looking very apologetic. Santa kept walking forward, clenching his fists. "By all means, Kringle, keep coming forward if you mean to slay the child." Krampus growled, starting to squeeze and causing Ginny to shudder in fear. Santa stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes narrowing. His elves had now cast a tight net around the scene, hemming in Krampus. One circle of warriors faced inward, pointing their weapons at the abomination while another behind them faced out, prepared for any further attacks. Santa didn't move. "Let the girl go, Krampus," he said levelly. "This doesn't concern her." "Oh, I beg to differ," said the beastman in an almost non-chalant tone. "It's always about the children, isn't it?" "Hey!" said Ginny angrily. "I am not a child, jerk! I'm twenty, Gurr!" "Oh, do stop talking, you're such an annoyance." Krampus said, giving her neck another warning squeeze. "Let the adults work this out." "There's nothing to work out, Krampus," Santa growled, his blue eyes flashing. "You'll let the girl go." "I think we both know that's not happening," intoned the vile intruder. "She is my victory over you, and you know it. Revenge is not only a dish best served cold but often. And not often enough for me." "About this cold revenge dish thing," Ginny said, squirming slightly. "Couldn't; couldn't I just find you a nice tin can to chew on instead?" "Shut up, girl!" Krampus said harshly while several elves could be heard to chuckle and even Santa smirked at her jest. "I hold your life in my hands, to dispose of as I please." His foul breath crackled in the cold night air. His touch was uncomfortably warm, almost hot and strangely kept her body from freezing in the winter night. His touch felt evil and her skin crawled in revulsion. His strength was terrifying. "It wasn't enough that I slaved in coal mines for you, giving you carbon lumps to deliver to naughty children," Krampus growled, glaring at Santa. "It wasn't enough that I found the worst of them and brought them to you in the night so you could lecture them." "Hey, nobody asked you or ordered you to do the coal thing, pal," Santa said angrily. "And the whole kidnapping kids thing was your idea. I decided to let you have some creative control and look what happened. When it didn't work out, you decided that beating naughty kids with reeds was the answer. You're damn right that wasn't good enough!" "Silence!" Krampus snarled loudly, stamping one of his clawed hooves and making the ground shake dangerously. "Your kind-hearted foolishness with these puny mortals changed nothing about their behavior! Your failure to recognize their inherent selfishness was why our efforts were doomed!" "These puny mortals?" Santa countered. "You used to be one of them, Pete, remember? You were a well-behaved boy once." "Shut up!" growled Krampus. "Well-behaved, but not good," Santa continued. "You followed the rules and wanted everyone to follow rules. You were a control freak. I brought you north to show you what kindness could do, but you hated the cheer and the happiness and you fled to the coal mines in Greenland, hiding in the dark where the light of Christmas couldn't touch you! And when making kids feel bad with coal didn't bring them into line, you started the whole whipping them with reeds thing. Good job there, Pete!" "I'm warning you, Kringle;" Krampus said dangerously. "Oh, he really gets your goat, doesn't he?" Ginny sneered, causing several elves to laugh loudly. Krampus now snarled furiously and lifted her into the air by her neck, causing her to cry out in pain. Santa watched warily, knowing better than to make a move. "We seem to have an impasse," Krampus said, an evil smile playing over his slavering mouth. "You cannot harm me, because you know I can slay the child, but I cannot as yet slay her because she is my bargaining chip. But my need to hurt you, old man, is so very strong." He lowered Ginny down until her feet were just touching the snow-covered ground. She frowned as she heard a wet slithering sound she could not identify. "And there are other ways to hurt you than slaying the poor dear, aren't there?" Ginny felt something slimy touch her leg and then start to crawl up it, wrapping around her smooth skin. She shuddered and squirmed in horror as she realized exactly what was happening. The snake-like appendage wound up her thigh and then behind her. She gasped as it slid between her ass cheeks and then underneath to her cunt. She felt the blunt head split her lips and then move upward again. "Don't do this, Krampus." Santa said, trying to figure out what to do without hurting Ginny. "And why not?" replied the qliphotic abomination. "Don't you have a present for me? Then I guess I'll have to give myself one." Krampus' organ continued to slither its way around her body, leaving a glistening trail on her skin. She stiffened and moaned as his appendage wrapped around her tits, squeezing them, the head pausing and teasing the nipples. "Hey, asshole, dinner and a movie first!" she spat angrily. Ginny was about to say something else when the large, grayish cockhead snaked up in front of her face and then plunged into her mouth, causing her to gag and go silent. Her eyes widened and she thrashed furiously, but to no avail. He was simply too strong. "Language, young lady." Krampus chided, still staring at Santa. "Hasn't Santa taught you anything?" "This isn't gonna end well for you, Pete." Santa said, his tone dire. "Christmas never does, Kringle," replied the demon, his cock sliding in and out of Ginny's mouth. "I'm just hoping to make the holiday every bit as awful and intolerable for you as it is for me. After all, misery loves company." He brought her body close to his head and his other hand reached over and stroked her cunt lips, which were glistening. He leered at his foe, knowing Santa was helpless to get closer. "Is she good down here?" Krampus said mockingly. "Nice and wet and tight for you? Was she the best one ever, in the endless list of good girls you have fucked?" Santa said nothing, just glaring at Krampus. His knuckles were white as he clenched his fists. "Sharing your toys is the spirit of Christmas, isn't it?" Krampus said evilly, finally pulling his cock out of her mouth. Ginny coughed and sputtered, tendrils of resinous spittle and worse trailing away from her lips. She glared at Krampus but was still immobilized. "Just get this over with and fuck me already, whip-cock," she spat. "You won't be my first egotistical disappointment, trust me." Krampus' eyes blazed red and his tongue sped around her naked form blindingly quickly while he released her from his clawed grip. The tongue wrapped and immobilized her arms, holding them out straight while still encircling her tits. It then snaked around her waist and legs, pinning those as well while his long cock, swaying about like a cobra, came to a stop in front of her swollen cunt lips. The head teased and tapped against the opening, causing her to moan and squirm. "As you wish, child;" The head forced itself through her lips, sliding deep inside her. Ginny cried out in a mixture of shock and indescribable pleasure. She felt the tip of his pointed tongue probe trailing around her nipples. The python-like length of his cock churned inside her cunt. The blinding light behind her eyes finally receded and she lifted her head, looking out into the night, feeling his tongue constricting around her neck. She could dimly see a huge being in red pants and black boots watching nearby, his powerful chest exposed. The startling blue eyes flashed in the darkness of the night. She could tell he wanted to rescue her but didn't dare come closer. She gasped and shuddered as Krampus' cock pushed still deeper inside her. She felt fuller than she had imagined possible, the slithering appendage stretching her wide. The sticky, squelching noises were hardly to be believed. "Ew, gross! Hentai noises!" she thought in revulsion. "Krampus;" Santa warned. His elves all pointed their weapons menacingly but he held up his hand, staying them. "The child is naughty," Krampus said, smiling through pointed teeth. "Very naughty. Such a sordid past." "Hey, back off, she was young and needed the money!" Santa snapped defensively. "That thing with the midget and the donkey was” "You're not helping here!" Ginny shouted, blushing furiously, even as Krampus violated her. "Wicked child," growled the vile demon, shoving his cock in and out of her, the peristaltic actions of its length causing her to writhe and squirm in his grip, her breath coming in ragged gasps. "Shameless. Even though I violate her, she finds a way to be concerned about how you perceive her. I find it; titillating." "Oh, do I make you horny?" she sneered, turning her head to smirk at him. "Couldn't tell, looking at that head of yours." "Silence!" Krampus hissed, spittle flying from his jaws, his eyes flashing angrily. "I hold your life and death in my hands." "How would I know?" she shot back. "Hope you're better with your hands than you are with your cock, Billy G." He plunged his cock deeper still inside her. She went rigid and cried out. "That all you got?" she rasped, trying not to faint as she felt popping inside her hips while he stetched her. "My brother got in deeper than that when we were little!" "Insolent!" Krampus snarled savagely, bouncing her up and down and he fucked her harder than ever, pulling on her arms and legs, stretching her joints til they creaked. She felt a deep, wet heat building inside her and in spite of the horror she consciously felt about the situation, even more dire was her need to cum. She felt her cunt squeezing around his cock. His snake-like tongue probed her ass and wriggled inside, further adding to her desperation. "Intholent bith, you will be punithed!" "What was that?" Santa asked, turning his head slightly and putting his hand to his ear. "I couldn't understand you, it's like you have a lisp or something." "Don't mock meef!" Krampus said angrily, his tongue whipping out of Ginny's ass, causing her to yelp suddenly. "I'll kill her, Kringle!" "Not before I cum, damn you!" Ginny panted, her body flushed and covered in sweat as she twisted and writhed in his grip. "Uh, so close, goddammit!" "Language!" Santa and Krampus both snapped at her. "Aw, c'mon!" she wailed. "You two are total pains in the ass! Do it, Billy! Show me what a bad boy you are!" Krampus glared at her and began fucking her harder than ever. "As you wish, child!" "Krampus!" Santa shouted, reaching out his hand in alarm. "Don't!" Krampus grinned evilly at Santa, his teeth clenching as he drew close to climax. His cock seemed to swell along its length, stretching her wider still. She threw her head back and gritted her teeth, straining as she was overwhelmed by sensation; Santa's fist slammed across Krampus' jaw with a powerful crack. The demonoid's eyes rolled into his head and he crumpled to the ground. Ginny wailed in frustration as his cock pulled out of her and retreated back to his body, like a wet, slimy Stanley tape measure. She collapsed to her hands and knees in the snow, panting and shaking, her eyes wide. Santa raced up and knelt next to her, his eyes shining with concern. "Fuck;" Ginny whispered, gasping for air. "Motherfucker;" She looked up at her rescuer now, her eyes flashing accusingly. "The hell? Couldn't you have let him make me cum first?" Santa paused. "What?" "I was so damn close!" she hissed, standing up and stamping her foot. "I was within half a second of the orgasm of my life and you had to choose that moment to intervene and play the hero! Don't expect a thank you card!" "Uh, Virginia," Santa said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, trying to figure out what to say. "If he had brought you to orgasm, it would have killed you. When Krampus climaxes, his appendage you were so attached to bursts into spikes, basically killing you from the inside while denying you your orgasm." She paused and then deflated. "Holy cobra dildos. What a bastard." Ginny then pointed a finger at her savior. "But you still owe me an orgasm, then, pal. You may have rescued me from certain death, but that doesn't mean I don't need relief." Santa looked really confused. "What, here? Now?" "Damn straight," she said firmly, suddenly remembering she was buck naked in a snow-storm. In spite of the no-doubt freezing weather, her body was still warm and very wet with need. She put her hand down her cunt and felt around for a moment before presenting her sticky palm and fingers to Santa for inspection. "Do I look satisfied to you? You've already fucked me, Screamo the Goat Boy just fucked me, who cares if your freaky gay elves watch us? I need satisfaction now and I already am aware that you can't say no." Santa sighed. "It's gotta be quick, Virginia. I'm really behind, now that I'm completely temporal in one location." "Whatever, just get me to the promised land, man." Ginny replied, shrugging. "Who knows, maybe your entourage might enjoy a show." "Oh, right, about that," Santa said, standing up tall and shouting loudly. "About; Face!" As a single unit, the elves all turned around smartly on their heels, still arranged in a protective ring around their liege and his companion, weapons ready as they scanned the darkness for trouble, their eyes glowing menacingly inside their helmets. Santa strode up to Ginny, towering over her and ignoring the prostrate form of the still-unconscious Krampus, snuffling nearby. She smiled up at him, somehow warmed by his presence, in spite of the icy night she should have frozen to death in already. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply. She moaned into his mouth as she felt her already molten core getting even more heated in response to his touch. Tongues tangled and played as he took her ass cheeks in his hands and squeezed them, making her shiver. Ginny's hands fumbled with his large black belt until it fell away and then pulled down his red pants. He pulled her onto his powerful thighs, resting her on them. She hooked her legs behind his waist and began grinding her wet, eager cunt against his hardening cock, which swelled readily. Her head was almost spinning, she was so horny. "Hmm, give it to me, baby," she purred, feeling the head of his cock touch her cunt lips. "Make me cum hard and fast." She sighed loudly as he pulled her close, penetrating and sliding deep inside her. Ginny moaned shamelessly as Santa once again began to pump back and forth inside her. His huge cock stretched her cunt wide, but not in the violent, violating way Krampus did. This felt warm and utterly perfect. She nipped at the skin of his chest while he moved in and out of her. "Yes," Ginny breathed as he began to moved faster, pumping strongly and rhythmically. She could feel her wetness trickling down between her cheeks, her cunt clutching at him hungrily, greedily and unwilling to let go until it was somehow sated. "Oh, God, just what I needed. Yes, fuck me, Santa!" He gripped her tight and thrust into her, picking up his pace just the way she wanted. She was gasping and yelping now and he squeezed her cheeks, one of his fingers poking inside her puckered knot. She clenched her teeth and groaned at the intrusion, murmuring that she loved it. She grew warmer and warmer, her body tingling with an exquisite fire that rippled out from her core. Santa turned her around and set her feet on top of his boots, bending her forward and pulling on her arms. She cried out as he fucked her harder, his hips thumping against her ass cheeks. Her hands clenched wildly, her breath coming in gasps as his overwhelming strength dominated her. "Oh, God!" she panted, beginning to shudder uncontrollably, almost drooling. "Uh, cum in me, dammit! Fucking cum in me!" Santa pulled on her arms even tighter as his thighs slammed into her. Ginny strained, craning her neck, teeth clenched as she tried not to scream, but it was no use, she wailed loudly as he came inside her, filling her once again in a way she could not describe. Her orgasm shook every last atom of her being, transporting her to a world of nothing but pleasure, edged with mint. She buckled, hanging loosely in his arms, exhausted. She'd been fucked hard at least five times tonight and had a dreadful suspicion that this experience would only make her libido even more hyperactive. She sighed as Santa scooped her naked form into his arms and cuddled her against the cold. Ginny purred and traced a fingernail across his broad chest. "Thank you," she said quietly. "Just what the doctor ordered. That quenched the flames, for now." He finally put her down and she looked at the remains of her ruined chateau, which was completely leveled and now on fire. "Poor Oatmeal," she murmured. "Where am I going to live?" She scowled down at the still supine Krampus, anger flaring in her. "It's this jack wagon’s fault. You should totally napalm his face." Santa looked down at her in shock. "Did you just say I should jerk off in Krampus' face?" "Damn right, he'd deserve it too." Ginny announced. "That and shove your sleigh up his ass." "I am not jizzing in Krampus' face." Santa said, clearly repulsed by the suggestion. "Fine, leave a woman to do a man's job," Ginny said testily, striding over to Krampus and putting one leg on either side of his head. She stuck three fingers inside her cunt and managed to tease out considerable amounts of Santa's minty cum, which she smeared all over Krampus' face and into his fur with glee, even giving him a glistening white moustache. "Take that, asshole!" She looked like she might have been done desecrating the unconscious form, but then she paused and squatted over him, peeing on his body and face, the stream steaming in the cold night air. She grinned evilly as she thoroughly baptized him. "Teach you to mess with me." Ginny muttered as she walked back to Santa, nodding. The huge man had a wide smirk on his face and shook his head slowly. "I can't believe you just pissed all over Krampus," he said, hugging her to him. "However, you're going to freeze to death at this rate;" He held out his hand and one of his elves dutifully brought him a large, velvety red cloak, which he wrapped around her. She blushed and smiled gratefully at his consideration, but only until he slid it off her, revealing that she was now wearing some ridiculous 'Hot Christmas Elf' outfit, complete with striped stockings and high heels. She looked like a Yule whore. "Seriously?" she asked, unimpressed. "This is your solution to my naked issues?" He shrugged. "I liked you better naked, but you would freeze quickly." "Whatever," she sighed, looking down and appreciating the considerable lift it gave her cleavage. It was incredibly warm, in spite of how scant it was. "So now what? I still have no damn home, you and Goatse here blew it up with your little barnyard brawl." Santa looked around warily. "That might be the least of your worries. The wind's picking up again, which means that another assault is coming. We need to get out of here." "Sire!" said one of the armored elves, thumping his fist to his breastplate and bowing his head. "We will cover you. You must go while you still have a head-start and the dark one is unconscious." Santa nodded. "Yeah, he's not gonna be happy when he wakes up and he's really gonna want revenge on you, Virginia." She felt her mouth go dry at the notion of another battle and Krampus waking up to even the score. "So; now what?" Santa shrugged. "I'd say it's fairly obvious. I've still got to make my rounds before the night is over and I'm not leaving you here;" She gaped as he put his hands on her shoulders and looked down into her eyes. "Virginia, you're coming with me and you're going to help save Christmas." Chapter 3, Christmas Wishes "How the hell do you drive this thing?" Ginny called in a panic, her eyes wide as she held onto the reigns, twisting them wildly as she tried to steer. Up ahead of her, eight large reindeer squealed and thrashed their heads. The sleigh corkscrewed while it hurtled through the cold night air, the moon shining down on them. "Well, first of all, stop panicking," Santa replied as he stood on the back of the sleigh, atop his huge red sack of toys. He was more or less back to his original size she had become accustomed to, now that he had sent his other 'iterations' of himself out over the globe to deliver presents. "That would be an excellent start." "Easy for you to say," she snapped, scowling back at him for a moment since taking her eyes off her designated path seemed to make no difference to how she was doing at navigating. "You're used to doing this!" "Trust me, between the two of us, you're the one with the easy job right now and I'd be happy to trade," he called back as he ducked wildly. A comically large rocket thundered by, with an evil-looking man strapped to the bottom of it, swinging a weapon wildly to hit Santa. "Try to keep her steady!" "While dodging psychos on rockets, no problem!" she grumbled, trying to ignore the howling wind and roaring projectiles. "Have I mentioned Krampus is a gigantic asshole?" "Repeatedly," Santa answered, watching warily. The sky was threaded with jets of fire as their enemies kept coming about in ponderous, elliptical arcs and heading back towards them, intent on their destruction. They had only just pulled off from the smoldering remains of Ginny's country chateau when the assault began. Krampus was nowhere to be seen, but his minions were clearly determined to avenge him. "Maybe urinating on him wasn't such a good idea. He never did take humiliation well." Ginny squawked in alarm and ducked as a rocket streaked right at her. Santa jumped in the air, doing the splits to avoid the projectile and landing back on top of his present sack. Another tried to pull up alongside them but Santa grabbed the harness the man was wearing and wrenched the rocket off course, sending it speeding into one some distance away. Both rockets (and presumably their pilots) exploded in a violent orgy of noise and flashing lights. "Really hope people just think those are fireworks," Santa muttered as he looked glared balefully at yet another rocket considering approaching. "Fireworks right in the middle of the world's most spastic meteor shower. Sure, they'll buy that;" "Funny part is I can't tell if you're serious," Ginny said loudly. "If they don't believe that narrative, then they've gotta accept that Santa Claus was engaged in an epic air battle over their town with quantum men strapped to rockets." "Truth is often stranger than fiction," Santa agreed, nodding. "Fighting these jerks off is taking too much time!" "Well, don't you have anything in your back of tricks there?" Ginny asked. In spite of the sleigh being open, it seemed to have some weird form of climate control and she'd been getting rather warm. To that end she'd pulled down her top, exposing her tits to cool herself off. The breeze allowed through made her nipples tingle delightfully, but not enough to distract her from driving the sleigh. After all, she often drove ninety minutes to her job wearing a vibrating insert in her panties, so she knew for a fact she could orgasm and still control a vehicle. A wheeled one, at least. She wasn't so sure about a sleigh doing Mach Three at twenty thousand feet. "You mean a weapon?" Santa asked. "In the bag full of toys for kids?" "You gave me a nerf gun out of that bag and it turned out to be some sort of doomsday device, didn't it?" she pointed out. "Scary lightning bolts everywhere. I refuse to believe you don't have some other goodies in there." Santa shrugged and squatted down to look inside the bag, getting narrowly missed by another rocket that shot over his head. The pilot cursed and came around again, aiming directly at the chassis of the sleigh from the side. Ginny's eyes widened in fright as she saw him approach. She jerked the reins to one side and the sleigh tilted ninety degrees, presenting its wide, flat red underside. The rocket slammed into it and exploded. Whatever it was made of or whatever shielding was in place, Ginny only heard the detonation and felt a rumble, but there was no damage aside from that. "Ha!" Santa said, standing tall and holding an electric guitar in the air, its black body gleamed in the moonlight. He put the strap around his neck and took several seconds to tune it, ignoring the aerial mayhem that swirled around him. "The hell are you going to do with that?" Ginny asked, scowling as she looked behind to see what he was up to. "You said to find something, I found something," he said simply as he checked the pickups. "Now let's see what we can do here;" He took the pick in hand and strummed it across the strings, a screeching pulse of sound blared out from the instrument, heading in all directions. It struck several rockets nearby, which exploded brightly. Other were knocked off course, spiraling around crazily as they fought for control. Santa laughed loudly, apparently enjoying himself. "Quit laughing and kill, red man!" Ginny yelled, nonplussed by his amusement. "I want to survive the night and I've had several close calls with death already!" "I'm working on it, Virginia, patience." Santa chided, adjusting the tuners momentarily. "Near-death experiences make you cranky." "No shit, Sherlock," she grumbled as he blasted out another screeching wave of sound. "Do you plan to play anything or just keep shrieking out that one sound?" "As you wish," he said cheerfully, pleased to be doing as she asked. Making her happy was all he cared about. He began playing a heavy metal version of Wagner's 'Ride of the Valkyries', the pulsing walls of sound thundering out and striking every foe within hundreds of

Welcome to the Circle of the World Podcast! Join Harrison, George, and Jeffrey as we continue our coverage of Joe Abercrombie's First Law series! For this season, we read through Sharp Ends! In today's episode we will be covering Two's Company. The boys wanted to do Werum of BLEGH for character spot but I overrode them. Silly cohosts, henchpeople don't get a vote!Meme of the week: https://www.reddit.com/r/HouseOfTheMemeMaker/comments/1pbbfd5/memeing_every_chapter_sharp_ends_the_fool_jobs/Leave us a commentSupport the show

The alarm hits at 2 a.m., the corrals open in the dark, and somehow the magic feels brighter than ever. We bring together Dopey veterans and a first‑timer to unpack the real playbook for Marathon Weekend: how to shop the expo without losing your day, when to join the virtual queue, and which transport options get you to EPCOT stress‑free. From the 5K's calm walk to the marathon's 4:30 a.m. start, we map water stops, fuel options, spectating windows, and the course quirks shaped by current construction.The strategy talk gets honest. Walk the 5K to bank energy. Use shorter run intervals on Saturday if you're in later corrals. Save character photos for later in the race when lines shrink. Bring two or three pairs of shoes, recovery sandals, and a spare pair of socks for a mid‑marathon reset. Pack Epsom salt, roll your feet, and stash sunscreen and anti‑chafe plans. We compare caffeinated gum to coffee, warn against accidental over‑caffeination, and share the flat‑lay routine that turns chaos into calm. Above all, we keep mindset at the center: pick joy at the bleachers, pace your day, and let Main Street carry you without sprinting the tracks.You'll also hear a lively race report from the inaugural San Antonio Marathon—beautiful course, big hills, warm temps, and standout community support—plus quick hits from races nationwide. Whether you're chasing Dopey, Goofy, or a single distance, this episode gives you the concise, experience‑tested guide to stay ahead of the balloon ladies and finish with a smile. If this helped, follow the show, share it with a running friend, and leave a quick review so more runners can find the Rise and Run family.Rise and Run LinksRise and Run Podcast Facebook PageRise and Run Podcast InstagramRise and Run Podcast Website and ShopRise and Run PatreonRunningwithalysha Alysha's Run Coaching (Mention Rise And Run and get $10 off) Send us a textSupport the showRise and Run Podcast is supported by our audience. When you make a purchase through one of our affiliate links, we may earn a commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.Sponsor LinksMagic Bound Travel Stoked Metabolic CoachingRise and Run Podcast Cruise Interest Form with Magic Bound Travel Affiliate Links The Start Line Co.Fluffy FizziesMona Moon Naturals Rise and Run Amazon Affiliate Web Page Kawaiian Pizza ApparelGoGuarded

EL FINAL GUARDA EL SECRETO DE LOS SIGUIENTES ESPECIALES En este nuevo episodio de Rejugando, nos metemos de lleno en la tercera parte del especial de Kingdom Hearts, y lo hacemos a lo grande. Arrancamos repasando nuestro viaje por este tramo final del primer Kingdom Hearts, desgranando curiosidades, secretos, desarrollo, guiños y detalles que se nos quedaron grabados en la memoria, tanto para los fans como para los que llegan por primera vez a esta obra de culto de Square y Disney. Entramos directos al mundo de Agrabah, donde comentamos todo: – La llegada a la ciudad, la aparición de Jafar, la búsqueda de la cerradura del mundo y la importancia de Jasmine como princesa del corazón. – Los nuevos sincorazón, la verticalidad del mapa, las zonas ocultas, el backtracking y esa mezcla deliciosa entre aventura, diseño inteligente y referencias a los juegos clásicos de Aladdin. – La Cueva de las Maravillas, su diseño laberíntico, el combate contra el tigre y todo el tramo interno lleno de cofres, mecánicas y secretos. – El mítico enfrentamiento contra Jafar, sus dos fases, la lámpara, Iago… y cómo KH adapta perfectamente la estructura de la película. – El detallazo del llavero Tres Deseos, el cameo de la alfombra, el origen del diseño de Jafar, la curiosa historia del genio en doblaje, y ese mininivel con la alfombra que nos hizo sufrir más de lo esperado. Luego nos movemos hacia Monstro, el mundo de Pinocho, donde todo se vuelve más bizarro, más visceral : – La llegada sorpresa a la ballena. – Geppetto y Pinocho atrapados, la reaparición de Riku y el inicio de un conflicto emocional y narrativo clave para el resto del juego. – El combate con el “bicho-jaula”, la referencia clara a Final Fantasy IX y X, la exploración confusa y repetitiva dentro de Monstro y la relación simbiótica entre corazón, luz y pérdida. – Las idas y venidas entre Riku y Sora, y cómo este mundo marca un antes y un después en la tensión emocional del grupo. Desde ahí viajamos al siempre polémico y acuático mundo de Atlántica. – Contamos cómo funciona el tutorial bajo el agua, el filtro visual, la transformación de los protagonistas y lo que cuesta adaptarse al control submarino. – Conocemos a Ariel, al rey Tritón, y repasamos su papel en la trama, la aparición de Úrsula, toda la misión del tridente y el enfrentamiento final con ella en su forma gigante. – También respondemos a la gran pregunta que muchos oyentes nos habéis hecho: por qué Ariel no es princesa del corazón y Alicia sí. – Recorremos curiosidades de la película original, su historia literaria, diferencias brutales con el cuento de Andersen y cómo Square adaptó el mundo al lore del juego. – Y comentamos las conexiones con Final Fantasy IX, las habilidades y la mecánica de asignación utilizando puntos, recuperando ese sabor clásico del JRPG. Y entonces llega EL MOMENTO. Entramos en uno de los mundos más queridos de toda la saga: 🎃 Halloween Town – Pesadilla antes de Navidad Aquí nos volvemos locos hablando de: – Los diseños espectaculares de Sora, Donald y Goofy adaptados al estilo de Tim Burton. – La aparición de Jack Skellington y del Doctor Finkelstein. – La creación del corazón artificial, los niños problemáticos, la bañera viviente y la llegada a la Mansión de Oogie Boogie. – El combate tipo “Simón dice”, las mecánicas de la ruleta, el enfrentamiento final con Oogie gigante y toda la ambientación tétrica pero encantadora. – Las curiosidades reales de la película, el origen de Tim Burton en Disney, por qué se confunde tanto su papel en la película, el stop-motion original y cómo KH respeta la estética del film con nuevas texturas pensadas específicamente para este mundo. – Y cómo este mundo marcó el estándar para los mundos “estilizados” en la saga. Durante todo el programa vamos intercalando: – Informes de Ansem narrados como si fuesen documentos prohibidos. – Referencias al desarrollo real del juego, decisiones de Nomura y cambios en mundos como Tarzán, Pesadilla o Agrabah. – Detalles de doblaje, producción y rarezas del lore oficial. – Y nuestras clásicas anécdotas, bromas y momentos de caos absoluto. Al final, dejamos todo listo para encarar el tramo final del juego en el próximo episodio: Bastión Hueco, el clímax de Riku, Maléfica, las princesas del corazón y el enfrentamiento definitivo. Si eres fan de Kingdom Hearts, este episodio es un festín. Si no lo eres… cuidado, que aquí te haces fan por fuerza. Escucha el episodio completo en la app de iVoox, o descubre todo el catálogo de iVoox Originals

John & Heidi share funny stories of people doing weird things... plus we continue our segment #MovieStarMonday as John chats with Corbin Bernsen - BeldhamGET AN "AMAZON PRIME" 30 DAY FREE TRIAL HERE > https://zurl.co/xtXhLearn more about our radio program, podcast & blog at www.JohnAndHeidiShow.com

The gang made it to the Disneyland Resort for a holiday kickoff at California Adventure and the treats are FLOWING! Danielle, Will & Rider sit down to decide which Disney character best represents them and they deep dive into the canine differences between Goofy and Pluto. What are their favorite treats?? Their favorite rides?? And will Rider successfully stay the night in a log flume?? It’s time to celebrate the holidays at the Merriest Place on Earth with a special Pod Meets World!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This Week in Geek's Loose Cannon is our all around movies podcast covering the weird, wild, or sometimes nostalgic world of films. This time, our full crew of Birdman, Ken, David and Adam discuss the two lovably nostalgic cult classics that are the Goofy Movies. Yes, the two movies that are the spiritual successors to the Goof Troop TV series have become Millennial staples much to the surprise of Disney themselves. Well…one of them has. The other is well, listen to the discussion and find out.It's another TWIG Loose Cannon. Please Be Kind and Don't Forget to Rewind before returning your videos to the shelves. Show Notes:Your Geekmasters:Mike "The Birdman" - https://bsky.app/profile/birdmanguelph.bsky.socialAlex "The Producer" - https://bsky.app/profile/dethphasetwig.bsky.socialKen Reels - https://bsky.app/profile/kenreels.comAaron PollyeaFeedback for the show?:Email: feedback@thisweekingeek.netTwitter: https://twitter.com/thisweekingeekBluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/thisweekingeek.netSubscribe to our feed: https://www.spreaker.com/show/3571037/episodes/feediTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-geek/id215643675Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3Lit2bzebJXMTIv7j7fkqqCastbox: https://castbox.fm/channel/id2162049Website: https://www.thisweekingeek.netDecember 5, 2025

John & Heidi share funny stories of people doing weird things... plus we continue our segment #MovieStarMonday as John chats with Lizzy Caplan - Now You See MeGET AN "AMAZON PRIME" 30 DAY FREE TRIAL HERE > https://zurl.co/xtXhLearn more about our radio program, podcast & blog at www.JohnAndHeidiShow.com

Martin might be in the doghouse, but Uncle Si steals the show when he reveals the playful little ritual he and Christine share that keeps their love alive, even at his age. John-David seems determined to install a fridge in every room of his house—including a few that absolutely should not have one. Phillip finally explains the long-running mystery of why he was banned from the Robertson duck blind 35 years ago and hasn't been invited back since. Si also laughs about the surprisingly simple and honestly kinda weird reason he and Christine struggled to start a family early in their marriage. The boys agree that the baby born in a Buc-ee's parking lot is already off to a legendary start in life. Duck Call Room episode #505 is sponsored by: Hillsdale College offers more than 40 free online courses, including a course on Colonial America. Go to http://hillsdale.edu/duck right now to enroll. There's no cost, and it's easy to get started. https://stopboxusa.com — Get 10% off your entire order when you use code DUCKCALL and they are also giving you Buy One Get One Free for their StopBox Pro! https://puretalk.com/duck — Get their best unlimited plan for just $29.95 a month! https://donewithdebt.com — Start building the life you deserve and talk with one of their strategists today. It's FREE! - Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sentient puppets kiling Nazis? 5 stars. No notes Approachability: 7/10 (Goofy killer puppet movie, but the puppets are good) Content Warnings: Blood/gore; Nazis; Suicide Next Week's Film RandomHorror9 T-Shirts Hosts: Jeffrey Cranor & Cecil Baldwin (Find more of our work on Welcome to Night Vale) Logo: David Baldwin Random Horror 9 Patreon YouTube, Bluesky, Letterboxd, & Instagram: @RandomHorror9 We are part of Night Vale Presents Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

John & Heidi share funny stories of people doing weird things... plus it's a Tuesday... so we have everyone's favorite segment... TUESDAYS with Charlie!!!BUY THE T-SHIRTS HERE https://goo.gl/S476Js OR HERE https://goo.gl/GQvVxo Learn more about our radio program, podcast & blog at www.JohnAndHeidiShow.com

The fellas are back!!! Revamped, rearranged & rebuilt! Come hang out with the degenerates in the Goofy Dude Saloon. It's been a long two months and a lot has happened. Find out what the fellas have been up to and get to know the newest HUA member, Phil! BOW: Potosi Brewing Company, CHERRY LIME VARSITY VODKA SELTZERHUA 199 Drinking game: any time they say talk to Phil, drink!Big shout out to the talented Adrian Pell! He created the intro and outro music for us. Check him out on IG: @AdrianPellMusicHold Us Accountable is on Patreon! Just search, ‘Hold Us Accountable.' We're just trying to earn us some beer money, nothing more nothing less! Join for just $1 a month! https://patreon.com/HoldUsAccountable920?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink If you're listening on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, rate and review the show, it helps us out a lot!Check out and subscribe to our YouTube Channel!⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRVYu7zopmxja1RsmVpOucQ/featur⁠We're live on Twitch, check out our page!⁠https://www.twitch.tv/holdusaccountable⁠Find us on X:⁠https://twitter.com/hua_pod?s=11&t=DqKX0s9j1XzF2xFF3dBlDA⁠If you want to let us know what you think of the show, or have an idea for the show, you can DM us on Facebook or Instagram @HoldUsAccountable

Welcome to the Circle of the World Podcast! Join Harrison, George, and Jeffrey as we continue our coverage of Joe Abercrombie's First Law series! For this season, we read through Sharp Ends! In today's episode we will be covering, Small Kindnesses.  Meme of the week: https://www.reddit.com/r/HouseOfTheMemeMaker/comments/1olbakr/honey_i_revolted_myself/Leave us a commentSupport the show

Happy Thanksgiving! This week on Toon'd In!, Jim Cummings sets sail aboard the brand-new Disney Destiny cruise ship for an unforgettable special episode featuring an all-star lineup of Disney legends and creative powerhouses: Bill Farmer, Bret Iwan, Tate Donovan, Kaitlyn Robrock, and Nikkolas Smith!In this lively and wide-ranging ocean-view episode, Jim and his guests dive deep into the art, heart, and history behind some of the most beloved characters and stories ever brought to life. From Bill Farmer's decades as the voice of Goofy to Bret Iwan's stewardship of Mickey Mouse, the conversation flows with iconic moments, rare insights, and unexpected laughs. Tate Donovan shares what it was like to embody Hercules, Kaitlyn Robrock gives a peek behind the bow of voicing Minnie Mouse, and Nikkolas Smith discusses the creative spark behind his powerful, visionary art.Together, they explore the craft of character authenticity, the joy and responsibility of shaping generational icons, and the surprises—both hilarious and heartfelt—that come with life behind the mic. Whether they're reminiscing about fan-favorite roles, breaking down creative challenges, or sharing stories you won't hear anywhere else, this lineup brings wave after wave of behind-the-scenes gold.

Hey there, and a very happy Wednesday to you! This is your Disney News for Wednesday, November 26th, 2025. I hope you're ready for some magical updates to brighten your day! - Disneyland Tokyo announced a "Frozen" themed attraction opening next summer. Immerse yourself in the world of Arendelle with state-of-the-art animatronics and enchanting set designs. - Disney World in Florida will debut Tron Lightcycle Run in spring 2026, offering high-speed thrills and futuristic vibes in Magic Kingdom. - Disney released a holiday cookbook for Thanksgiving, featuring festive recipes like Mickey-shaped pumpkin pies and Goofy-themed stuffing. - Disney+ is launching "A Very Mickey Christmas" holiday special this weekend, featuring Mickey and friends on a festive adventure. Have a magical day and tune in again tomorrow for more updates.

For our fifth and final episode of the cartoonishly-inaccurately-titled Patreon Request "Month" 2025, the randomizer is going all the way back to the 1940s to pick Landon Knoke's request for four specific vintage animated shorts in which everyone's favorite dimwitted cartoon dog-man tries his white-gloved hand at that eternal lifework of dimwitted dog-men everywhere, athletics! Every physical activity from plummeting down a steep snowy mountain with large wooden sticks on your shoes, to hitting a small ball with a different kind of wooden stick and running around in a circle, to carrying a prolate spheroid across a grassy field filled with men trying to injure you, to using your leisure time to endure even MORE strenuous activity just to keep yourself fit enough to continue engaging in such pointless nonsense, the immortal character formerly known as Dippy Dawg shows us how to do it all! Join Tony Goldmark, Mat Brunet, Randee Martin and Gaby Tyrrell as they patronize THE ART OF SKIING AND OTHER GOOFY SHORTS! Shorts covered in this episode: - The Art of Skiing (1941) - How To Play Baseball (1942) - How To Play Football (1944) - Goofy Gymnastics (1949) Here are those anxiety-inducing old ski lift photos we talk about: https://rarehistoricalphotos.com/snow-king-chairlifts-photos  Check out my guests' stuff! MAT BRUNET Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/matbrunetvo.com Livestream: https://www.youtube.com/c/AniMatsCrazyCartoonCast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/ElectricDragon505 RANDEE MARTIN Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/mcrrox.bsky.social Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@channelkrtpodcast7050 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@mcrroxx GABY TYRRELL Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ghoulishgabs.bsky.social Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ghoulish_gabs YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@GhoulishGabs And check out this show on social media! Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/vaultdisneypod.bsky.social  Host's Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/tonygoldmark.bsky.social  Twitter: https://twitter.com/efvdpodcast Host's Twitter: https://twitter.com/tonygoldmark Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/972385353152531 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tonygoldmark Hear new episodes early and AD-FREE by supporting this show on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/tonygoldmark  

Dealing with so many new connections with people and creatures in Hell  

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Mike argues that the world has changed, but the climate debate hasn’t kept up. A terrific interview with the MacroTourist, Kevin Muir, explores today’s risks and the opportunities ahead in 2026. Ozzie weighs in on 50-year mortgages. And the most astounding poll result of the year might explain everything in the Goofy. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to the Circle of the World Podcast! Join Harrison, George, and Jeffrey as we continue our coverage of Joe Abercrombie's First Law series! For this season, we read through Sharp Ends! In today's episode we will be covering, A Beautiful Bastard.Meme of the week: https://www.reddit.com/r/HouseOfTheMemeMaker/comments/1oa0i8c/another_wild_twist_in_the_3rd_act/Leave us a commentSupport the show

Morning Show Morning Light Fri Jim and Kim right click HERE to download, select download or save link as

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We'll be back with a new episode next week! In the meantime, please enjoy the time Goofy stopped by for an enlightening studio visit. He was only tryin' to take his boy fishin', okay? Boy oh boy do we have a special episode for ya! From the Powerline hits that never go out of style to a surprising revelation about the Goof Troop theme song, we're gettin' Goofy with it this week, a-hyuck!  In a KFLX first, we are joined by our first ever in-studio guest: none other than the star of this film - the Goofster himself! We dive into connections to The Newsies, the insane decision that almost changed Goofy's voice forever, and more! This week's episode features the outstanding voice talent of Brock Baker!

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In 1942, Disney released a cartoon short called "How to Play Baseball," in which Goofy taught us all the nuances of this classic sport. OK, perhaps it might not be the best idea to take our baseball lessons from someone once called Dippy Dawg, but it does represent Disney's long association with America's Pastime. So sit back, relax, and join us as we explore the world of baseball, Disney style!

Welcome to the Circle of the World Podcast! Join George, and Harrison as we continue our coverage of Joe Abercrombie's First Law series! In this special episode we will be featuring our friend, The Bloody Niner aka Josh, and we discuss the Devils! (Jeff isn't here because he's a dirty slacker and hasn't read the book yet)Enjoy the chaos!heck out his book at: https://www.royalroad.com/profile/517226Leave us a commentSupport the show

Morning Show Morning Light Thurs Jim and Kim right click HERE to download, select download or save link as

Morning Show Morning Light Wed Jim and Kim click HERE to download, select download or save link as

The Mousedebaters talk Sounds of DisneylandThis week on Mousedebaters, we're putting our mouse ears to the test—literally. Join Luke, Brittany, and Kami as we try to identify real sounds from videos of our Disneyland trip. Is that the Matterhorn's yeti roar or just Luke's stomach before churros? Hard to say.Then we wrap up spooky season with a perfectly deranged game of “Disney Halloween Musical Casting.” From Young Frankenstein to Little Shop of Horrors, we recast your favorite creepy musicals with Disney and Muppet characters. Think Fozzie as Igor, Ursula as Audrey II, maybe Goofy as... Frankenstein's monster?! I don't know, you'll just have to listen to find out.As always, we're not your kids' Disney podcast. PG-13 chaos for grown-up ears only.

Morning Show Morning Light Tues Jim and Kim right click HERE to download, select download or save link as

Game Over Cancer is back with a high-energy, heart-forward episode for runners, running-curious friends, and anyone who loves the magic of Run Disney. Dana and Val sit down with Meghan and Stephanie from CKC's Run Disney Committee to talk training, community, and why running for a cause hits different.From first 5Ks to finishing marathons, they unpack the moments that made them feel like “real runners,” the reality of fundraising for a charity bib, and what makes Walt Disney World Marathon Weekend unforgettable. You will hear practical tips for first-timers, how to choose the right distance, what Dopey and Goofy actually mean, and small strategies that make a big difference on race day.CKC invests in innovative pediatric cancer research so kids can have safer, more effective treatment options. If you want to run with purpose, this episode will help you get started and stay consistent.In this episode:The runner's high and the power of communityTraining plans, consistency, and handling start-line nervesWhy Run Disney is uniquely supportive and funDopey Challenge and Goofy Challenge explainedReal talk on fundraising for a charity bibFirst-timer tips: arrivals, corrals, character stops, sleep, and recoveryCreative ideas to connect miles to meaning for CKC kidsConnect with our Guests on Instagram at:Stephanie Calabro:  https://www.instagram.com/stephyluwho/?hl=enMeghan Swope: https://www.instagram.com/meghanswope/?hl=enIf this conversation moves you, please like, comment, and share to help us educate for change. Leaving a review helps more families find tangible hope.Tune in to hear this inspiring and informative conversation. Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and join the fight to make Game Over: c*ncer a reality.Connect with Dana: https://www.linkedin.com/in/danaknichols/Connect with Val: https://www.linkedin.com/in/valerie-solomon/Upcoming Ckc Events: https://cannonballkidscancer.org/category/make-an-impact/events/----------------------------------Podcast Produced by Hi Hello Labs: Website: https://www.hihellolabs.com/

Halloween in the '80s wasn't all horror. Sometimes we got big laughs from the vampire flicks. In this 2019 episode, we honor our favorite "goofy vampire" flicks of the '80s: "My Best Friend is a Vampire" and "Once Bitten." Our Sponsors The 2026 lineup of The 80s Cruise is here, along with our promo code. Royal Caribbean's Adventure of the Seas departs Port Canaveral on February 27 with stops in Nassau, Falmouth and Labadee. Artists include: Bret Michaels, Nile Rodgers & Chic, OMD, Billy Ocean, Gary Numan, Berlin, Taylor Dayne, Sugarhill Gang, Quiet Riot, Glass Tiger, Donnie Iris, Los Lobos, Dazz Band, Heaven 17, Men Without Hats, Aldo Nova, Rob Base and Kool Moe Dee. Former MTV veejays Mark Goodman, Alan Hunter and Downtown Julie Brown will be there too. And now, if you're a first-time guest on the cruise, you can $250 in cabin credit when booking if you use the promo code STUCK. For more information, go to www.the80scruise.com. Our podcast is listener-supported via Patreon. Members get special swag and invitations to patron-only Zoom happy hours with the hosts of the podcast. Find out more at our official Patreon page. The Stuck in the '80s podcast is hosted by creator Steve Spears and Brad Williams. Find out more about the show, celebrating its 19th year in 2024, at sit80s.com. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I went to Disney World and ended up diagnosing cartoon characters. From Mike Wazowski's lack of depth perception to Goofy's questionable eye anatomy and Winnie the Pooh's all pupil, no iris situation, I'm breaking down which Disney characters would absolutely fail a vision test. Plus, a quick dive into a real breakthrough from Stanford that might help restore sight lost to macular degeneration. It's ophthalmology meets Disney meets mild existential crisis. What more could you want? Takeaways: Why Mike Wazowski's single eye means he's missing half the picture. The serious ocular condition Goofy might secretly have (and why glasses won't fix it). Why Edna Mode needs cataract surgery yesterday. How Pixar's signature huge eyes would actually mean extreme myopia. The surprising Disney character who might have the healthiest eyes of them all. To Get Tickets to Wife & Death: You can visit Glaucomflecken.com/live  We want to hear YOUR stories (and medical puns)! Shoot us an email and say hi! knockknockhi@human-content.com Can't get enough of us? Shucks. You can support the show on Patreon for early episode access, exclusive bonus shows, livestream hangouts, and much more! –⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ http://www.patreon.com/glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Also, be sure to check out the newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://glaucomflecken.com/glauc-to-me/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you are interested in buying a book from one of our guests, check them all out here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.amazon.com/shop/dr.glaucomflecken⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you want more information on models I use: Anatomy Warehouse provides for the best, crafting custom anatomical products, medical simulation kits and presentation models that create a lasting educational impact.  For more information go to Anatomy Warehouse DOT com. Link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://anatomywarehouse.com/?aff=14⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Plus for 15% off use code: Glaucomflecken15 -- A friendly reminder from the G's and Tarsus: If you want to learn more about Demodex Blepharitis, making an appointment with your eye doctor for an eyelid exam can help you know for sure. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://www.EyelidCheck.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more information.  Today's episode is brought to you by DAX Copilot from Microsoft. DAX Copilot is your AI assistant for automating clinical documentation and workflows helping you be more efficient and reduce the administrative burdens that cause us to feel overwhelmed and burnt out. To learn more about how DAX Copilot can help improve healthcare experiences for both you and your patients visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aka.ms/knockknockhi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Go to http//www.cozyearth.com and use code KNOCKKNOCK for 40% off best-selling temperature-regulating sheets, apparel, and more. Trust me—you'll feel the difference the very first night. Produced by⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Human Content Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Morning Show Morning Light Wed Jim and Kim right click Here to download, select download or save link as

http://www.attractionchecklist.com - It's time to take a daring airplane ride with Goofy as we head to Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World to ride The Barnstormer on this episode of Attraction Checklist.  Attraction audio recorded on May 21, 2025. TRANSCRIPT: Welcome to Attraction Checklist. This episode we visit Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom to ride The Barnstormer. The Walt Disney World website describes this attraction saying: Take flight above Storybook Circus with Goofy in a homemade stunt airplane for a thrilling junior roller coaster ride. Guests must be 35” or taller to ride this attraction. Before we take-off, here are five fast facts about The Barnstormer. 1. The Barnstormer is located in the Storybook Circus section of Fantasyland at Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom.  The spot where the coaster is now used to belong to Grandma Duck's petting farm which was a petting zoo and home to the famous cow Minnie Moo. 2. The Barnstormer opened officially on October 1, 1996 in the renamed Toontown Fair section of Fantasyland.  The story of the attraction was that Goofy was running a flight school on his farm.  The ride's full name was The Barnstormer at Goofy's Wiseacre Farm. 3. The attraction closed on February 12, 2011 as part of the Fantasyland expansion at Magic Kingdom. 4. The ride reopened on March 12, 2012 as part of Fantasyland's Storybook Circus.  The name was tweaked The Barnstormer featuring Goofy as The Great Goofini. 5. As you enter the attraction, turn and look at the back of the entrance sign.  You'll see a set of red painted letters all jumbled up.  When put together, these spell out Wiseacre Farm as a tribute to the previous attraction. Let's now ride the epic attraction that it The Barnstormer.  Squeezing into the car with me is John B. deHaas and after we ride we'll give you our thoughts on this attraction.  This is a binaural recording so if you have headphone, put them on now as we ride The Barnstormer at Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom. The attraction audio recorded for this episode is available exclusively to the Saturday Morning Media Patron Patron.  Support the show and get fun Bonus content over at http://www.patreon.com/saturdaymorningmedia Episode edited by Stephen Staver FOLLOW US https://www.instagram.com/attractionchecklist/ https://www.facebook.com/attractionchecklist https://www.linkedin.com/company/saturday-morning-media http://www.youtube.com/user/SaturdayMorningMedia?sub_confirmation=1 FOLLOW GRANT http://www.MrGrant.com https://instagram.com/throwingtoasters/ SOURCES: https://disneyworld.disney.go.com/attractions/magic-kingdom/barnstormer-starring-great-goofini/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Barnstormer Show ©2025 Saturday Morning Media/Grant Baciocco  

Morning Show Morning Light Mon Jim and Kim right click HERE to download, select download or save link as  

We revisit a tech gadget that was so good it deserved a second chance, get spooked by a Chad Halloween extra, and crank up the volume with speakers that bring both sound and style. Chad reels in a retractable gadget for his Crappy Corner.

We revisit a tech gadget that was so good it deserved a second chance, get spooked by a Chad Halloween extra, and crank up the volume with speakers that bring both sound and style. Chad reels in a retractable gadget for his Crappy Corner.

Carney chooses big government over the private sector. Top analyst Tony Greer nailed the bull run in gold, silver, and uranium — but where does the trade go from here? Ozzie shares his dos and don’ts for buying and selling during the holiday season. A shocking “blood money” statistic in The Shocking Stat, and what Poilievre should have said about the RCMP/SNC-Lavalin scandal in The Goofy.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to the Circle of the World Podcast! Join George, Harrison, and Jeffrey as we continue our coverage of Joe Abercrombie's First Law series! In this special Episode we will be featuring our friend, Ohmachi! Where we will be discussing the ultra special editions of Joe Abercrombie's Works. Enjoy the chaos!Leave us a commentSupport the show

The fastest way to upgrade a race weekend isn't a workout—it's a conversation. We kick off the 2025 Wine & Dine Half Marathon Weekend with a clear plan to turn nerves into connection, mapping exactly where to find us before each start, how to spark easy chats in the corrals, and why your first bus and first hello can change the whole vibe. If you're arriving solo, you don't have to stay that way; we'll make the introductions and help you find your people.We walk through the training checkpoints for marathon, Goofy, Dopey, and Disneyland half, then pivot to the decisions that protect your legs: expo routes, virtual queue timing, park-mile creep, and the smart way to balance merch hunts with rest. You'll get race-day tips that actually help—carry a lightweight finish bag, rotate shoes across races, pack a hat and sunglasses, keep a poncho handy, and be ready to simplify costumes if the humidity climbs. We also flag the perks of the earliest buses: shorter character-photo lines, calmer corrals, and extra minutes to breathe before the fireworks.Midway, we spotlight a new "Podcast We Listen To" with AJ and Erika from the One More Run podcast—former Disneyland cast members sharing beginner-friendly guidance on proof of time, corrals, fueling, and costumes with pro-level production and zero gatekeeping. Their mission mirrors ours: make runDisney feel welcoming, informative, and fun for new runners and veterans alike.We wrap with a massive roll call, celebratory shout-outs, and details for meeting up beside the grandstands, plus a nod to the Give Kids The World Gingerbread Run under the lights. Lace up, say hi, and let the miles take care of themselves. If this episode helps, tap follow, share it with a friend heading to Wine & Dine, and leave a quick review—what's the one tip you'll use this weekend?Send us a textSupport the showRise and Run Podcast is supported by our audience. When you make a purchase through one of our affiliate links, we may earn a commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.Sponsor LinksMagic Bound Travel Stoked Metabolic CoachingRise and Run Podcast Cruise Interest Form with Magic Bound Travel Affiliate LinksRise and Run Amazon Affiliate Web Page Kawaiian Pizza ApparelGoGuarded

Support Fiddly Dicking Merch Store - fiddlyshop.com (https://www.fiddlyshop.com) Tip Jar - Donate Today (https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=MJJXJ895WU3NY) Twitter: @fdicking (https://twitter.com/FDicking) Facebook: Fiddly Dicking Facebook Page (https://www.facebook.com/fiddlydicking/) Instagram: Fiddly Dicking Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/fiddlydicking/) YouTube: The Fiddly Dicking Show (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2hQjlthkalz2IMEknmt0fg)

Ryno, Hannah, and Owen (Hannah's son) are at Disney's Animal Kingdom with some wild appetites and a craving for character dining. The trio decide to say Jambo to Donald, Mickey, Daisy, and Goofy at Tuskey House Restaurant. Hear what they have to say about their lunch time dining experience at this popular Walt Disney World buffet filled with African-inspired flavors. Have you dined at Tusker House recently? What is your favorite Disney Parks character dining spot?Links:Important DIS links for more information!Support us on Patreon and receive exclusive content! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not all financial advice online is created equal. We react to some of the internet's worst money tips, from shady down payment tricks to risky ‘never sell' borrowing strategies. Learn what NOT to do with your money and discover the smarter, safer path to building real wealth. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jump start your journey with our FREE financial resources⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Reach your goals faster with our products⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take the relationship to the next level: become a client⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Subscribe on YouTube for early access and go beyond the podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Connect with us on social media for more content⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Bring confidence to your wealth building with simplified strategies from The Money Guy. Learn how to apply financial tactics that go beyond common sense and help you reach your money goals faster. Make your assets do the heavy lifting so you can quit worrying and start living a more fulfilled life. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠NordVPN.com/MONEYGUY⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Ringer's Bill Simmons is joined by Cousin Sal to react to the overtime matchup between the Packers and Cowboys before discussing the players and teams that have won them over in the NFL through four weeks (4:40). Then, they guess the lines for Week 5 before talking about baseball, the Ryder Cup, and closing with Parent Corner (01:03:11). Host: Bill Simmons Guest: Cousin Sal Producers: Chia Hao Tat and Eduardo Ocampo Fill your fridge with Michelob ULTRA - the official beer partner of the NBA. https://www.doordash.com/p/play-for-an-ultra ENJOY RESPONSIBLY © 2025 ANHEUSER-BUSCH, MICHELOB ULTRA® LIGHT BEER, ST. LOUIS, MO. The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit⁠⁠ www.rg-help.com⁠⁠ to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices