There's something wrong with me

When you are dating who pays? I am old school as fuck and like to be courted. The kids these days don't think so. I mean if you're my man and you fall on hard times I got your back but I like to feel respected and appreciated in the early stages of dating. Is chivalry dead or just not required anymore? 

Dating is super hard in the burbs. I have been out of the game too long and I'm scared of the fate of dating. Or am I? 

Right now I'm so sick and I hope it's not covid even though I'm vaccinated. I prerecorded this for today a few days ago and thank God I did because I couldn't do it now. I didn't really ruin Thanksgiving. I was just a dickhead. Ah, sweet bird of youth!

I'm back after a long hiatus. I went through a major tragedy which I will get into on a later podcast but I'm starting over from square one. I just talk about how I'm rebuilding my life after a long road. Maybe my story can help someone or inspire others? I'm just here telling my truth and life as I see it. 

Every comedian, actor, writer, singer has to do shit they don't like from time to time. I just did a terrible short film where a girl acting liked she was punching me in the face. I walked off, not before calling her a C***. Look, I'm nice but I'm not that nice. Love ya! Rate me five stars please and subscribe!

So the other week I tweeted about reading current events stoned? Well, here it is. I did it on a whim and it's raw and unedited. I'm still working it out, or maybe not. I will try to post one every week but don't hold your breath because I can be unreliable. Just ask my family. Cheers! side note: I think Wreck My Ass Ralph was a porno, could be wrong (if it isn't it SHOULD be)

My horrible ex boyfriend is getting married to the woman he met less then a month after we broke up. He's making his friends pay for his honeymoon...cheap...pretentious and horribly tacky. RANT!

Internet dating is for assholes and sluts. A reformed whore to the core.....shit's not working for me. I'm ready for substantial but i keep meeting losers. This is how it goes in LA....doomed to be alone.

I have done some crazy things in my day. I slept with my brothers friend and it didn't go as well as I would have hoped....fml. I can't win!

Someone is pregnant! Tune in to hear about pregnancy! Ugh...ugh..oh...

I know a ton of hot guys but these two stood out. They were both hot and had everything you could want. Money. Good looks. An awesome sense of style. Too bad one was a rapist and one almost killed a man. I bet I'll get in trouble for this. Wait, no I won't! Nobody listens to me!

I went to the gym in my hometown and almost broke my nose. I don't know what was worse, only ugly people working out, or nice people or almost breaking my nose. You decide.

Working out is the worst. I hate is so much but it's a necessary evil especially since I eat so much. This is about the gym I go to. Ugh... people and aesthetics piss me off almost as much as those Westboro Baptist Church wackos. You should celebrate yourselves! Just don't be an asshole in the process of being what you consider perfect.

I hate flying. I don't pray. The only time I pray kind of is when I'm flying. I did this podcast at my parents house when I was high on painkillers that I found in my moms cabinet. It's good to be home. I didn't pre listen to this long ass rant. You're welcome.

When I went home for the holidays I think my parents were happier then a pig in shit that I barely drank, smoke and I'm still single. They were happier that I'm curbing my vices more then they were to see me. Single? YAY! No really, they don't think I'm the marrying kind. Why would they?

So I talked about how I love nerds on my last podcast. This one is about men in Hollywood that I have come into contact with. I wanted to breakdown a list of who you will find in this fucking town. You can't sling a dead rat without hitting one of these....ahem...gents...

Something I like is nerdy guys and I'm breaking down cute nerds in Hollywood. I love the Budy Holly type. Too bad he died....good ol' boys drinkin' whiskey and rye....

Happy new year or as I like to call it amateur night. If you partied like a rock star and ended up in a police car here are some tip from me to you on how to survive jail

I went to a house party and I fucked shit up to the max. Now everyone hates me. I want to put a disclaimer that this post is EXTRA BITCHY...it almost makes me feel guilty. Well, almost....

Today is Christmas and I am celebrating with my loved ones and a bottle of hooch. This is a very spicy story that wound up not so hot at the end. Would you expect anything less from me? Merry Christmas f#ckers!

I went out with a friend the other day and he get me thinking about all the fucked up decisions I have made when it comes to men. In the long run, I think we just want to be with someone who is on your side. I'm not different. I'm actually sounded a bit nice here and said...I wasn't born bitter!

I ave been laying off the hooch and it's the worst. I'm trying to figure out things to do other then drink and that's really hard. Here are some things you WON'T see me doing while I'm on the wagon.

I seem to get mistaken for gay a lot. Maybe I'm too friendly, maybe I should stop wearing bandanas and blazers, maybe I should stop eating pussy. Just kidding....haven't done that in years. Sometimes I get mistaken for a gay lady and I'm ok with it...meah...whatever

In this episode I talk about how I really have no tolerance for people. Here are some tips for talking to the annoying people around you and getting them to realizing that they need to change. Some people are so insufferable...it makes me want to go all J.D. Salinger sometimes.

My goal of the day was to get day drunk and I achieved my goal of the day. I'm eating a popsicle on this episode and even get my email wrong. ZING!

I can't meet people when I'm drunk anymore. I can't trust my friends. They don't give me proper advice when meeting randoms at bars.

I had a stalker once. At least think he stalked me. In the days of being single, I really REALLY miss the attention of the mentally unstable.

I did something very bad. I pretended to be a Jew once. I think I wish I was. Here is a story just in time for my Jewish friends!

Now the time is coming to be gluttons so I am telling you a story about the worst Thanksgiving ever. I guess it could be worse, I could have been sober.

I let a mooch friend of mine stay on my couch and take advantage of me. It's rare buy I'm really not a monster and he was going to be homeless. He had some choice words for me after I called him out on his shit. I'm over the liars, cheaters, takers and haters. Move along.

My mother gave my phone number to my very first crush. Too bad he didn't turn out as fantastic as I did!

I got sick and had to deal with a bitch at the doctors office. As usual, people are just the worst. And I'm the bad guy?!

I shaved my you know what for you know who that didn't go you know where.... second and last date

I stumbled upon some nerdy kids after a night of partying and realized that I'm an adult. Whoopsie!