This Week In Worthless Knowledge

The guys discuss the life and times of Caligula this week.

Johnny and the Truth are back with a semi-deep dive into Gregori Rasputin, the Russian religious zealot who managed to get extremely close to the gears of power using nothing but prayer, charisma, and possibly a foot long penis. The guys also examine Johnny's past as a juvenile petty criminal, the type of energy in the air before a Quizzo competition devolves into a huge orgy, and why Nat won't accept invitations to hang out with people at midnight. All this and more on the Worthless Knowledge podcast--recently rebranded in the hopes that we would lose 90% of our audience!

Johnny and the Truth take a walk with you through history to the 1932 Olympics where they explain how simple it was to compete in international bobsled if you were a toothpaste heir. They also speculate how a vacation would go if it were free but you had to fight the amateur boxing champion of each country you went to.

In this episode the guys welcome comic Blake Wexler to help them break down exciting medical treatments from the past that we don't use anymore because of the liberals.

On this episode JGT and Nat explore the unlikely rise to power and reign of Emperor Claudius. They discuss the time he fought a killer whale in the harbor and some other questionable tactics he employed during his time at the top of the pile. There is also lively banter concerning 1st century prosthetics and medical care in general, as well as how much more frequent poisonings were back then. All this and much. much more in this episode--subscribe and give us a rating (a good one preferably).

The guys are joined by co-host of the Philly Blunt podcast, Reef the Lost Cauze to discuss the fantastic 1930's anti-marijuana propaganda film "Reefer Madness". In the course of the discussion, they touch on points ranging from the obvious (and less than obvious) perils of deadly marijuana, how much more likely they'd be to go to a movie if there was a mummified corpse in the lobby, poking sticks, and some of Nat's experiences when he was in the inaugural class of the DARE program. You really don't want to miss this one. (Imagine I just broke the 4th wall and pointed directly at you when I said that)

JGT and The Truth dive into the history of the Playboy Mansions. The guys speak on the subject of used Playboy magazines and what you could expect to pay for them in the mid 1980's. They discuss revolving (and vibrating) beds, having a smaller replica of your house next door, and what you should (and shouldn't) steal when you're looting a house. They also talk about memories they have that may or may not be fictitious.

Remember 1980's pizza advertising icon The Noid? Sure. We all do. Did you know that a man took a couple of hostages in a Domino's restaurant once because he felt the Noid ad campaign was targeted specifically at him? Join Johnny and Nat as they welcome Chip Chantry. Chip is the author of several best selling books on the Noid, ranging from the worldwide best seller "The Pizza Anarchist" to the lesser known cult favorite "Noided Up: How the Dominos Fell", and is arguably the world's foremost expert on the Noid. We'll dive into the Noid, Spuds McKenzie, Max Headroom, and Philadelphia legend The Swiss Cheese Pervert on this episode and much, much more.

Johnny and Nat get together to discuss a favorite past time of theirs: board games. They ask hard hitting questions like what board game would you want buried with you when you die? They revisit some of Johnny's famous temper tantrums, and they review a couple really strange board games from the past. All this and more on the Worthless Knowledge podcast this week

Johnny and Nat discuss the famous mansion burning that occurred in 1994 during the volatile relationship between Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes and Andre Rison. Then they talk about how if they were different people living in a different place with different skills and dreams and living in a different time there's no telling what they could have accomplished. And of course they dive into how likely they would be to remain married if they came home and their wives had burned their houses down because they were pissed.

In this episode, spun off from JGT's latest Quizzo, the guys start unpacking the Heaven's Gate Cult but the conversation quickly devolves into more general cult related talk. Johnny tells Nat about the closest he ever came to being in a cult, Nat asks what 5 items you'd bring as a "Cult Starter Kit" if you were going to join one, and both guys have to ponder how much money they'd have to be paid to join a cult for a year and share a room with a roommate that wore the same clothes and had the same haircut as you. All this and more in this week's episode.

In 1924, the now infamous murderers Leopold and Loeb committed the perfect crime when they abducted and killed Loeb's second cousin. Or it would have been perfect if they hadn't made countless huge mistakes. Johnny Goodtimes and the Truth discuss the crime at length, wondering if they would have the chops to pull off a similar plan.

Johnny discusses a dilema he faced at a local yardsale recently. Would you mutilate your face if your best friend asked you to as his last wish on his death bed? Is there anything worse than being a galley slave? Which would you thin would be more dangerous--being struck by lightning or going up to a wild bear in the woods and hitting it with a stick?

Johnny and Nat rate their marriages on a scale of 1 to 10. Topsy the Elephant is electrocuted by early 20th century idiots. Would you attend the drawing the quartering of your arch nemesis? What is Tonya Harding doing with the money she gets from Paypal donations? Would you take in a feral child?

Johnny discusses his trip to a Bible Studies class on the Eastern Shore where he was the youngest person there by 25 years. Johnny gets his hands on a guide to the whore houses in Philadelphia from 1849 and we discuss some of the ratings. Nat asks Johnny how much he'd have to be paid to fight a bull.

From the vault as we still lead up to our hotly anticipated reboot, the guys discuss how they think the conversation would go if they told their wives they were leaving to dogsled alone to the North Pole. They also consider how they would go about toppling a Central American government with 60 men and what role early 90's Latino rapper Gerardo could play in that process.

In this episode we discuss whether our wives would be angrier if we were caught having an affair with 1 woman or if we were discovered to have a harem of 3,000 women. Would they be angrier at our infidelity or more impressed with our logistical ability in hiding, clothing, housing and feeding thousands of women? How much money would we have to be paid to have our nose cut off and replaced with a golden fake nose? (like Humpty Hump, but gold)

If you were time traveling and got busy once or twice or several times, would that count as cheating on your wife? What exactly is your obligation to someone if they save your life? If you are in a bathroom stall and have a "wide stance" is it hard to keep your foot from touching the guy's foot in the next stall?

What would you do if Suge Knight took an interest in your career and wanted to be a part of it? What gift would you have given Hitler if you got invited to his 50th birthday party? Would it have been a gag gift? If you broke a bottle of wine worth a half a million dollars how would you go about blaming someone else for it?

Remember when there was a February 30th? Neither do we. But it happened.

What's the most dramatic way a fellow could demonstrate that he could take drugs that would give him an erection? Listen and find out.

Is Christmas Mass better or worse if everyone brings their own rooster? Is it a good idea to unleash men from other towns dressed in devil costumes to chase children? Why shouldn't Santa just come through the front door?

On this episode we discuss the importance of contingency plans when fighting in civil wars and what a terrible idea it would be to put the son of the guy you executed on the throne. Is getting your dead body dug up and executed again--is it overkill? Also we talk about a huge orgy involving the Pope and other high ranking Catholics and "50 honest prostitutes".

The guys discuss the good and bad aspects of jumping off your house with a homemade parachute, how much better prison would be if they let you have a desk, and how much money you'd need to be paid to be launched out of a catapult.

The guys started off discussing Alexander Graham Bell in this classic, beloved episode, but quickly led to a conversation about how you could kill a man if you bludgeoned them with one of those old rotary phones and other fun things.

JGT and the Truth discuss the pros and cons (mostly cons) of cloning yourself and other famous people in this classic, beloved episode as they drum up support for their much anticipated relaunch.

This is to see if we can successfully restart our mega-successful podcast on a new platform

Johnny Goodtimes and The Truth discuss some of the most interesting Christmas traditions from around the world and ask the question that has been gnawing at us for years: how would our wives react if we presented divorce papers to them (with a bow on them) on Christmas morning?

Johnny Goodtimes and The Truth are back and after going off on a tangent about reusable straws, they discuss the downside of spending 29 years working on a plane that only flew once and then ask the tough question: How Much Money Would We Have to Be Paid to Have a Texting Affair with Someone Named Big Booty Judy and be Called Out on the Maury Povich Show?

Johnny Goodtimes and The Truth return to explore what happens when you win a Civil War, behead a king, and then put his son on the throne a few years later.  Spoiler Alert: it wasn't great. Also the guys take a look at the 1501 Ballet of the Chestnuts which featured the Pope, chestnuts (of course) and many honest prostitutes.

Johnny Goodtimes and The Truth are back to discuss some French mavericks and dreamers from the late 18th century. This devolves into a debate over how much money we'd have to get paid to jump off a building with a homemade parachute, getting catapulted, and whether people in prison should be able to break out if they can build some sort of flying contraption.

We're back.  Johnny Goodtimes and The Truth address the 1982 Allentown, PA contest where 3 guys stayed on top of a billboard to try to win a mobile home.  Then they discuss the 222-0 college football game and how we would do if we gathered a group of friends to take on a D1 college team, and they discuss the pros and cons of having the nickname "The Bald" which devolves into a conversation about people who were almost astronauts doing hard time.   Welcome back, we're going to try and do this more regularly now. 

Johnny Goodtimes and The Truth are back with the type of hard hitting Christmas analysis you have grown to expect. How should you react to your Wii Fit making your avatar fat because you haven't exercised in 4 years? What would you do if you saw Santa Claus (or a man resembling him) in your home late at night on Christmas? And the guys take you on a trip around the globe to recognize some of the world's lesser known holiday traditions.  From fist fights to harassing sheep, this episode is a can't miss. 

In this episode, Johnny Goodtimes and The Truth debate the pros and cons of having 55 wives, how good a choice they'd each be to guide 99 blind men through the desert, and the downside of having a "pet dwarf" in the 11th century.

In this, the long awaited reunion of Johnny Goodtimes and the Truth, the guys discuss  how they think the conversation would go if they told their wives they were leaving to dogsled alone to the North Pole. They also consider how they would go about toppling a Central American government with 60 men and what role early 90's Latino rapper Gerardo would play in that process. Thanks for being patient everyone--we'll do it again soon!

In this, our first episode in 3 months, Johnny and the Truth discuss blasting monkeys into space, what people in 3000 BC would've thought when they saw a solar eclipse, and the pros and cons of being hit whilst in your living room by a falling meteor. We also chat about how much money it would take to get our wives to televise them having a baby (both with their knowledge and being secretly recorded), and if we would trade the family far for a thimble we thought we could auction for a lot of money. Sorry for the wait, we hope to be back soon!!!!   Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

In this episode we respond to critical feedback before the show. How much money would you have to be paid to be someone's slave for a year, with your main job being to serve as their human foot stool? How much would you need to be paid to stay off the TV, phone, and internet for an entire year and the only thing you could ever watch was the Oxygen Channel? How much money would you have to be paid to use as many steroids as the Ultimate Warrior did in his prime for 5 years?

In this episode, we discuss how we think we would have done in the Ancient Olympics. At some point the conversation turns to how much money it would take to get us to wrestle an oiled up Greek man in a public park while naked for 5 minutes.

Johnny discusses his trip to a Bible Studies class on the Eastern Shore where he was the youngest person there by 25 years. Johnny gets his hands on a guide to the whore houses in Philadelphia from 1849 and we discuss some of the ratings. Nat asks Johnny how much he'd have to be paid to fight a bull.

Johnny discusses a dilema he faced at a local yardsale recently. Would you mutilate your face if your best friend asked you to as his last wish on his death bed? Is there anything worse than being a galley slave? Which would you thin would be more dangerous--being struck by lightning or going up to a wild bear in the woods and hitting it with a stick? We address all these hard hitting questions this week

Is it cheating on your wife if you time travel into the future? If someone saves your life what is your obligation to them afterwards? How much money would you have to be paid to go into a bar during business hours and smash all the liquor with an ax? Would you rather be rich and famous and die at 43 or poor and live to 83? How hard is it to keep from touching your foot against another guy's foot if you're in adjoining bathroom stalls?

Johnny and Nat tell the tale of when they attempted to camp in the outfield after a Delmarva Shorebirds game about 16 years ago. Was Joan of Arc essentially a hype-woman for the French army? How would it affect today's presidential candidates if they shot and killed multiple people in duels? If you time traveled 200 years in the past or more, is it still cheating if you mess around with someone back then who wasn't your spouse?  

  What are the consequences of hinting at being able to perform miracles? Is defenestration the greatest word in the English language?  Would you move if people getting tossed out of windows became common in your city? Is there any chance our wives would be open to going on a Bonnie and Clyde type of crime spree?   If you hook up with a woman other than your life but you time traveled 80 years back in time, is it cheating? Is Johnny the most boring person in the world to time travel with?

If you gained access to a tank with no ammo, would you still go on a rampage through the city? If Johnny rented out Madison Square Garden for Nat's birthday party and invited 15,000 people but not his wife, what would the consequences be?

How much would you have to be paid to walk over hot coals?  What if how your feet responded to being horribly burned was going to determine whether or not you were executed?   How much would you have to be paid to have an operation that made it so you could never lie?  Would you be willing to be committed to an insane asylum if it was a really nice one? Would you be willing to have a man over for dinner if you knew the following things about him: crazy from extended mercury exposure, cut off his own testicles with scissors, and shot John Wilkes Booth?  What if Lincoln was there too?

In this episode we talk about how life was terrible hundreds of years ago, and to top it off there were supposedly dragons there too. We discuss what would happen if Suge Knight took an interest in your career and wanted to become involved in it. What gift would you have given Hitler for his 50th birthday if he invited you?  Would you have gone big or with a gag gift? If you broke a 500 thousand dollar bottle of wine, would you try to blame it on someone else?

How would our wives react if we told them we really, really wanted a Satanic wedding?  Is it really even that big a deal? What would it be like to have someone secretly slipping you acid before you even knew acid existed? We then get in a huge argument over the exact order we made at McDonald's in around 1991 before we ask how much money would it take for us to eat nothing but McDonald's for a year with no salad, bottled water, or medical attention.

In this piece from last week's show, we discuss Viagra in all its glory. On this episode we ask a question you've probably asked yourself a thousand times: how much money would you need to be paid to give yourself a huge chemical erection and then drop your pants in front of an unsuspecting conference of people.  (Based on actual facts) We'll be back with a special pro wrestling episode later in the week.

If you could bring a rock group in their prime back for one show (living or dead) what show would you put together?  Johnny's answer may seem controversial to you. How long could the Truth spend on Mir without losing his mind? How many haircuts should people be allowed to select from?  How much money would it take to get us to sneak off to North Korea if our wives had already told us we couldn't go?  

As we eagerly anticipate the Netflix release of Pee Wee's Big Holiday on March 18th, we dive into one of the greatest movies of all-time, 1985's Pee Wee's Big Adventure. If you haven't seen it, go see it.   Immediately.

On this episode we start to talk about roller coasters but (like the Swedes) get distracted.   So then we talk about old phones, old video games, and if anyone looks in the classified ads in newspapers anymore. And finally, we discuss the possible scenarios that would make it OK to be 2 hours late for your wedding without calling or texting.  Spoiler Alert:  It involves time travel