Who Asked?

Can Aaron run a marathon? Is Alex an Empath? Do either of us have an accurate conception of what we're capable of? The answers to all of these are no, but you can listen to us anyway as we make arguments for our toxic traits.

Do you have any idea how dominant Joey Chestnut is in the world of competitive eating? Do you understand how much training it takes to reach his level of performance? Well strap in, because you're about to learn all about it. Oh, also we talk nut dragging. That too.

Saying babies are cute is all fine and good. Saying that's the cutest baby you've ever seen? Now that opens up a whole can of worms implying a scale of comparatively uglier babies. We don't think the world is ready for that just yet.

TV show pitch: cop procedural drama, the Bronx, NYC. Word around the precinct is that the old timer, Alex, has a real knack for solving any crime put across his desk. The kicker? He has to lick the entire crime scene head to toe. It's called: Devious Lick.

Has anyone considered that the founding fathers signed the Declaration of Independence, not as a foundation of democracy, but simply because they were a bunch of earth signs in a silly goofy mood?

You read that right. Mayochup. Yes, it's a licensed combination of mayo and ketchup. Perhaps this has always been the darkest timeline.

Fun fact: 8 mile is actually the first movie in a time traveling franchise where a rapping cow decides that present day rappers just aren't cutting it and he needs to rap battle historical figures. Yes, Eminem is still in it, but it's not about him. Yes, we will be taking questions.

We're finally back! After a bit of a break, we jump right back into the craziness that you all know and love. We cover Remy Buxaplenty, conspiracy theories, Nickelback, and much more!

So we were going to focus on world issues and developmental psych, but instead we discussed minimalist swim attire, hard facts about the sexual preferences of dinosaurs, the Chick-fil-A sauce shortage (aka Biden's America), a compelling theory on Jojo Siwa's origins, being named Doug, and how to evolve into Charizard. Hell, we started with a mini crossword for crying out loud. If that doesn't scream “Wild Episode”, we don't know what would.

Part 2 of our 50th episode special! To show our appreciation, we've invited onto the show even more friends who've supported us and our silly podcast. If you haven't seen Part 1, why are you here? Go check it out. Today we talked with Ben, James, Anthony, then Ally about car cancel culture, harrowing experiences, popcorn apologies, and hypothetical 3rd graders.

It's Part 1 of our 50th episode special! To show our appreciation, we've invited onto the show some of our friends who've supported us and our silly podcast. Today we talked with Abe, Bernadette, Alon, then J Elizabeth about unexpected things in unexpected places, first dates, sour cream, and an infinite chicken glitch.

Aaron has learned a lot about life in the past year or so - he's proud of the knowledge (like where Florida is and when colors were invented) and is eager to share.

Conspiracy Theory of the Day: Songs About Jane was actually about Ellen DeGeneres and no Maroon 5 album has been as good as Songs About Jane because Ellen has been sabotaging every release. Yes, we did come up with this from her brief inclusion in a Maroon 5 music video. No, we will not be taking any questions.

They say that when you're on your deathbed and your time has come to pass over to the next life, your eyes slowly begin to close as your soul leaves your body. In some cases, your last thoughts may be that you smell the sweet scent of ribs and hear the undeniable sizzle of burgers somewhere close by. So ask yourself, are you spending your time on earth well enough to be invited to God's Kickback?

Today we're talking bad dates, and boy have we been on a few. Some were just tough circumstances, but most were completely and undeniably our fault. On God: our bad. But hey, everyone's been there too--right? right??

The books you enjoyed in middle school says a lot about your personality. Keep in mind that there are wrong answers *cough* Divergent *cough*

We'll just be straight up. If God's text messages come in green, then they don't deserve your prayers. Simple as that. What? Are you going to devote your eternal soul to and Android user? Didn't think so.

Can a frog ride a bike? Can the department store staples be classified as "Big Staple?" Why are UK military officials so concerned with Americans bowling? What is the most efficient eating utensil? All of these question addressed, none directly answered!

There's two types of people in this world: you're either the mugger or the muggee, and frankly, we're not trying to get mugged any time soon.

A new Olympic event. 2 doctors. The same heart surgery operation. Head to head. The crowd goes wild. The commentary is off the rails. The stakes have never been higher. Before you ask: yes, the doctors do have to be dentists. No, we won't explain further.

If you like steak cut fries, your opinion doesn't count. Sorry, we don't make the rules.

Truly a chaotic episode today and probably one of our favorites. Reverse Knife Fights, Chick-fil-A’s underhanded marketing strategies, unexpected Cars lore, a theory on human motivation (which we’ve dubbed ‘The Comfy Niche’), a social hierarchy, Jar Jar Binks Zoom calls, and stenographers.

The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is real. It's out there somewhere, and the government doesn't want us to know where. Join us as we try to pinpoint Mickey's location and bring him to justice with Judge Judy, who may or may not be real.

Latest, cutting edge research has revealed that everything we thought we knew about pick up lines was wrong. "You have beautiful eyes" and "Can I get your number" are OUT. Vague, somewhat threatening lines like "What's your favorite place?" are IN.

If you've never tried hot sauce foreplay, been naked in the woods by yourself, or birthed Mii abominations on the Wii, then this episode was made for you. And Henry's here!

Fellas, is it ethical to to mind control people? I mean...you're literally getting inside the HEADS of a bunch of DUDES. Not sure, just seems kinda sus.

We've got some PIPING hot takes on food habits this episode - aka stay tuned for our latest idea: Mayo Flavored Lube. Or Lube Flavored Mayo. We haven't decided yet. Oh, and if you get sick from eating this product, #BootyCallEmergencyServices

You've heard that ketchup should be "fridge-cold?" Well get ready for carrots needing to be "pants-warm." Make of that what you will.

How do you test a snail's memory? How many pieces of Cinnamon Toast Crunch can you step on before they consume you? Can we cure Alzheimer's with chocolate? All this and more!

Think about it: you’ve never met a person that plays tennis. Seriously. Never. If you think you have: the government planted those memories into your brain and hired actors to play the parts of your friends so they can keep the myth of tennis alive. Your friends aren’t real, and neither is tennis. But if you’re telling us that that’s crazy because YOU play tennis... then we’ve got some bad news for you...

Why do people get so hyped up about pizza crust? It's bread. It's deadass just bread. Bread is great, but Alex still finds this crazy. This whole episode is crazy. Go listen to it, then come back here and call us crazy. We also have a special guest star: Ray! He's crazy too, he fits right in.

Content warning - somehow more graphic than our usual. This episode was a train wreck that truly had it all. Smushed cakes, vertical hotdogs, drowning goats, 90's themed philosophical quandaries, time travel theories, and 5 letter knuckle tattoos. Buckle up!

Ladies—here’s a secret the guys don’t want you to know. All guys have accidentally punched themselves in the nuts trying to undo their socks. Maybe just once. Maybe an immeasurable number of times. Who’s to say?

Just remember: Santa Christ died for your sins as well as your Christmas gifts. All Jesus Claus does is party during the holiday season with his lesser known brother—Jesus Claws. There’s a big difference.

We've never done a triathlon or tried throwing a shot put. Hell, I've never even played Rock, Paper, Scissors with my left hand! But damnit, for you guys, we're going to try.

Fellas? Fellas. If your significant other can't say "Papa John's" with their eyes, leave them now. Your relationship is destined to fail.

Another Friday, another episode! We’re talking first date ideas... but if you guys could come up with something better than the slaughterhouse or visiting a psychic, we’re all ears.

Scientists—after years of research, thousands of trials, and loads of peer review—have finally been able to confirm (with a 95% confidence interval) that poop does indeed smell. That’s right, it’s 2021 and we’re starting the year off with a poop joke. New episode is up and we’re talking farts and Batman.  You can send any topic submissions to whoaskedcast@gmail.com

Okay so apparently Alex doesn't like fuzzy socks. Comment "wtf" if you now hate Alex. Also, happy holidays!

Did you know that McDonald's predated the cavemen? Oh sorry, cavepeople. It's 2020.

Ever break into someone’s home and pretend you’re their grandson? Just to feel something? No? Just us? Please send any topic suggestions to whoaskedcast@gmail.com

What the hell is Thanksgiving stuffing? How long do drugs last? (Asking for a friend) And what section of your brain needs to be removed so you can be medically diagnosed as an asshole?  All these questions - answered! If you have any topic suggestions, send them over to us at whoaskedcast@gmail.com.

Welcome back to "Who Asked?" Today we talk shit about Aaron's blind cat, launching corpses into space, and three innocent tornados. You can send any topic submissions to whoaskedcast@gmail.com

Welcome back to "Who Asked?" Today we talk about skinny assassins, elaborate imposter conspiracies, and Olive Garden's holy symbol: the infinite stick. You can send topic submissions to whoaskedcast@gmail.com

Welcome back to “Who Asked?” Today we talk about full frontal insults, Alex’s 1 good quality, and slapping Turkeys at incredible speeds. You can send any topic submissions to whoaskedcast@gmail.com and check us out on Instagram and Twitter @whoaskedcast

Welcome back to "Who Asked?" Today we talk about serious communication skills, lemon juice bank heists, and philosophy majors. You can send any topic submissions to whoaskedcast@gmail.com

Welcome back to "Who Asked?" Today we talk about Chicken Nugget Sympathizers, Miley Cyrus' utilitarian dating advice, and BMX races on the moon. You can send any topic submissions to whoaskedcast@gmail.com

Welcome back to "Who Asked?" Today we talk about Krispy Kreme robotics, altruistic assassins, and Sandwich PhDs. You can send any topic submissions to whoaskedcast@gmail.com

Welcome back to "Who Asked?" Today we talk about dueling Gandhi, reverse procrastination, and hiccup pyramid schemes. You can send any topic submissions to whoaskedcast@gmail.com

Welcome back to "Who Asked?" Today we talk about the middle toe, lethal studying tips, and "safe" levels of gum chewing. You can send any topic submissions to whoaskedcast@gmail.com

Welcome back to "Who Asked?" Today we talk about mac & cheese security guards, logical intelligence, and the Geico Gecko's malicious disregard for human life. You can send any topic submissions to whoaskedcast@gmail.com