8 Bit Book Club

The club takes one last crack at Metal City Mayhem before their hiatus in this uncut finale! Previous play-throughs have resulted in Sonic's death by poisonous gas and death by existential crisis. Can the Lore Lords finally harpoon their white whale?

The Lore Lords have busy schedules and are going to take a break from reading about Sonic the Hedgehog, but not before ONE LAST PLAY THROUGH OF METAL CITY MAYHEM! Join us NEXT WEEK for an extra long episode with us reading the classic Sonic Adventure Gamebook. Thank you for all the support and please continue to follow us over at Not Another D&D Podcast with our friend Jake Hurwitz!

The club wraps up Mega Man 2: The Novel and their mad libs-style live reading gets even more confusing. Starring Mega Man aka The Rock From Jumanji aka Ronald QuickDonalds aka Cole and Dylan Sprouse aka The Fish Man From the Shape of Water aka Saucy Little Number aka Cole and Dylan Sprouse again.

The club does a live reading of Mega Man 2 from the Worlds of Power video game novel series and continues their tradition of changing character names until the story is completely unrecognizable. Can Mega Man (aka Jerry, aka Samantha, aka Kelly Kapooooooooooowwwwski) save the day?

The club watches the greatest/most-terrible animated show of all time and joins Donkey Kong for two adventures on Kongo Bongo Island! Buckle up for 'zard hijinks, rockin' jungle beats, and perfect Kong asses.

Emily finally receives her reward for winning D&D Monster Madness -- Final Fantasy VI fan fiction! Caldwell blows everyone's minds with his own custom Final Fantasy Gamebook, Emily bursts into tears several times, Murph is forced to say "wet channel" while reading Locke/Celes erotica, and Kylo Ren makes several appearances.

The club does a literary speed run, racing to finish the novel so they never have to talk about Gex again. Gex gets so sassy that he reaches "Peak Gex" and earns the nickname "Chamdler Bing."

Gex is BACK, BABY! And he's....PROBLEMATIC. Listen to the club's horror as everyone's favorite rad 90's lizard travels to WORLD WAR 2 WORLD AND BECOMES A PRISON OF WAR.

The club does a live reading of Gex and basks in his 90s radness (REMEMBER PLAYSTATION!?). Move over Sonic, there's a new sassy critter in town!

The club attends a Final Fantasy concert and tears are shed. Caldwell attempts to rank the Final Fantasies by horniness, Emily does a stunning rendition of the 16-bit FF6 opera theme, and Murph talks about SlimJims and energy drinks.

The club announces their new D&D play podcast, Not Another D&D Podcast, coming out at the end of January! Jake, Emily, and Caldwell discuss their characters, including a redneck elf, a religious halfling teen, and a cut, pensive man who was raised by dwarves.

The club embarks on the last leg of their adventure, and tensions are HIGH. Murph re-distributes Sonic's stats to make him a more sensible hog, while Caldwell and Emily mourn the loss of their beautiful buff blue blur. The journey takes them from the desert to the mountains to a city and to SPACE for what can only be described as an hour and a half of literary torture.

The club picks up where they left off -- with zero lives, zero rings, and zero hope. Can their buff, beautiful hedgehog defeat Robotnik and save the Jungle Zone?

The club joins Sonic (and Tails!) on a deep dive into the jungle zone. Caldwell and Emily insist on maxing out Sonic's "Good Looks" and giving Tails the highest strength possible at the cost of their agility and speed. Can the famously speedy duo survive as slow, buff, beautiful dudes?

The club watches two Christmas specials from 2013's Pac-Man and the Ghostly Adventures. Can Pacster and his X-TREME pals Cyli and Spiral stop the ghosts from gooing all over Pac-World and save Christmas-I-mean-Berry-Day!?

The club watches the Donkey Kong Country TV series holiday special from 1999. Emily compares the Kong Country holiday ceasefire between apes and lizards to World War I, Murph expresses his discomfort about how nude Funky Kong looks, and Caldwell complains that the show's animation isn't good to craft the "perfect ape ass."

The club faces its greatest challenge yet: a book that is so true to Minecraft that it has almost no plot. Can the club mine goofs from that which has no goofs? Did we already lose you with that terrible pun?

The epic conclusion to another Nintendo adventure book! Can the club make it through the Doors to Doom unscathed? No. No, they can't.

By the Light of Bahamut, the Mario Brothers are revived and continue their losing run of Doors to Doom. The Kong Family makes several appearances, including a rampaging Donkey Kong Jr., and Libertarian Funky Kong.

The club takes on another Nintendo adventure book because they just don't know when to quit. Emily eats a slug of steak fat, Caldwell gets horny for puzzles, and Murph is saved by Bahamut's blessing.

The club concludes their two week epic reading of a 60 page book for children. Murph defends his platonic love of critters, Emily recounts the time she bullied him for wearing a long sleeved Jack Skellington t-shirt, and Caldwell says "RoboDaddy" dozens of times.

The club does a live reading of a Sonic children's book. Caldwell introduces original character "Caldwell Prower" and Emily questions Murph's love of critters.

The club watches a spooky video game movie because it's almost HALLOWEEN... and they don't want to read a book.

The club finishes a big boy book about Warcraft! Emily continues her war against brownies and picks a fight with Charlie Brown.

The club returns to Azeroth, but gets side-tracked immediately when Emily goes on a long rant about how she's never seen someone eat a brownie (??????). Caldwell ponders which energy drink best encapsulates the essence of Garrush Hellscream and Murph introduces "Murph's Gurph's," a new segment to redact his goofs.

THE BOOK BUDS ARE BACK! The club travels to Orgrimmar, aka New Orc City for some POLITICAL INTRIGUE! Caldwell introduces another exciting edition of Caldwell's Word Corner, Emily gets really into britches, and Murph struggles to say the phrase "Horde waters" with his Jersey accent.

The club is going on a summer hiatus, but we'll be back in the Fall! Possibly in a new format!

The club cracks open the D&D Monster Manual to learn about dragons -- their mating habits, personality-types, and treasure preferences. Emily tries more than once to mimic the sound of a "dragon greeting."

The club continues the most difficult, nonsensical, foot-worshipping Nintendo adventure book to date. Featuring a giant goomba with shaved legs, Magmagate Part 2, and Luigi drinking orange juice in his uncle's pool.

After Wendy O. Koopa goes missing, King Koopa buries his turtle pride and asks Luigi to find her. Can everybody's second favorite plumber save the day? THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL 8 BIT BOOK CLUB OF ALL TIME.

With Emily out of town, Susanna Wolff joins the show for a little WIKI-WANDERIN'. The club explores the story of Mortal Kombat, including the DC crossover and the short-lived cartoon series.

John Elway the Flying Sword has shattered, causing his spirit to awaken an evil, giant John Elway hellbent on destroying the kingdom with his magic quarterbacking skills. Can Rob the Zombie and his goth followers sack this monstrous football legend and save the realm?

The 8 semi-finalists duke it out in the conclusion of our D&D scrub tournament! Featuring John Elway the Flying Sword, Borf the Giant Badger, Snake the Spider, Spider the Snake, Legolas the Drow, Rob the Zombie, Dixie the Pixie, and Peder the Giant Centipede.

A gaggle of D&D's most pathetic monsters compete in a 16 scrub tournament to crown King Weenie! Caldwell and Emily each control 8 monsters, with Murph acting as ref/announcer/DM. Featured combatants include Flying Sword, Giant Badger, and Riding Horse.

The Lore Lords read a book that's mostly pictures. Caldwell gives a detailed history of the digital world, while Murph struggles to remember all FOURTEEN main characters. Emily constantly compares the story to LOST, despite having only seen the first season.

The Lore Lords use their keyblades of wisdom to unlock the secret to Kingdom Hearts. Emily spends a good 10 minutes talking about the tan M&M and how it tasted different than the other M&Ms (it didn't).

The club reads glorified fan fiction featuring Final Fantasy characters, Disney critters, and anime-forever-friends. Caldwell sings the Kingdom Hearts theme more than once in our new segment, "The Bard Yard."

The Lore Lords explore the tragic origin of Doctor Robotnik, the death of Sonic's rabbit pal, and other stories where tiny cartoon animals are taken way too seriously. Murph and Caldwell take turns singing their favorite Sonic zone themes, and Emily makes up one of her own.

The Lore Lords explore the Metal Gear wikia, which proves almost unnecessary because Caldwell knows it by heart. Come for the cybernetic ninjas, stay for the nanomachines!

The club guides sassy 90s cartoon Link on a quest to protect the Triforce. Along the way, they meet a curious stranger with an even MORE CURIOUS magic necklace. Can the gang defeat this bejeweled dude? My rupees are on no!

The club graduates to a 3rd grade reading level and discusses a children's book based on a movie based on a game. We contemplate the hidden message behind the bird/pig war, and Caldwell considers getting a very bad tattoo.

The club, aka the Lore Lords, explore the lore of Twisted Metal by traveling down a wiki rabbit hole. Things are about to get TWISTED! And CONFUSING.

The club revisits their favorite D'ni wunderkin, his crap dad, and his cave-dwelling grandma while trying to wrap their heads around the mind-boggling lore of the Myst world.

With Murph and Emily out of town, Nathan Yaffe joins Caldwell to tackle a book WITHIN a videogame -- "The Wraith’s Wedding Dowry" from Skyrim.

The club discusses the literary prequel to the original Myst game, which Emily confused for a children's puzzle game called The Island of Dr. Brain. Once again, the conversation devolves into jokes about dads.

The club finishes their Metal City adventure in spectacular fashion. Everything turns out great and Sonic ends up totally fine!!!

The club revisits a Sonic choose-your-own-adventure book to right the wrongs of their previous failed play-through. Last time, Sonic was incapacitated by poison gas and dragged off by robots, so this time can only go better!

The club reads the videogamiest videogame book they've ever read, featuring cursed bloodlines, squirrel suit ninjas, and lots and lots of helicopters.

The club reads about a forbidden romance between Sub-Zero and Scorpion, then bullies Murph about his Animorphs fan fiction. Featuring an original Sub-Zero song by Emily!

The club watches the 1982 Pac-man Christmas special featuring Pac favorites like Officer O'Pac and Chomp Chomp the dog. The ghosts learn a valuable lesson about the Christmas spirit and Pac-man says "we have to save Christmas" no less than six times.

The club reads a novel based on the first few episodes of the Pokemon anime and engages in a heated debate about starter Pokemon. Everyone comes out dumber for it.