Addicted To People

I am currently saying goodbye to this particular podcast because I am beginning to new one so listen in and I'll give you all the details

Well another dive into the depression well. I am sharing with you some of the things I've done to try to help myself get out of the depression, how well that's going,what's worked for me and I want to remind everyone over and over that 1.you should reach out and 2. there is no difference between mental illness and physical illness. you would not hesitate to go to a doctor if you broke your leg so do not hesitate to seek out a doctor when your mind is not working correctly.

Well I love you know that I suffer from major depressive disorder and that means I'm cyclical and right now I'm in the cycle of depression. I almost didn't do the podcast because I am just you know programed to believe I should always put my best foot forward but that's not what this podcast is about. this podcast is about being authentic and real and sharing my real experience in the hopes that it makes somebody else feel less alone.

Well this is a deep dive into the patriarchy into women's role in the patriarchy women's role in keeping themselves to a different standard than they keep men. I really wanna hear from people after they hear this so I'm gonna put my email here in the hopes that that is an easier way for you to get a hold of me then to be addicted to people Facebook page. nmaclaren@netzero.com

I used to always make the joke that I had to be myself because nobody else wanted to be. And I guess that's true but it had sort of a negative connotation that being me was not all that great. And that's how I went through most of my life, thinking that there was always something wrong with me, thinking that I needed to change in order to fit in, to find friends, to be loved, to be chosen. I could never be myself and have those outcomes. I have learned that that is a terrible way to live and a lonely way to live and you never really find your tribe that way. So let's talk about it. All right go to my Facebook page addicted to people let me know what you think as usual and check out my new art endeavors at www.artdetrois.com

In this rather long episode (I'm sorry about that )I talk about what it's like to grow up with narcissistic parents. Anybody who has grown up with an alcoholic has grown up with a narcissist and the kind of damage that they can do can be very deep and it can feel like it's actually part of your personality instead of something that happened because of the environment you grew up in. I hope that you enjoy this( I know if enjoy is the right word) I hope you get something out of this and that you will ask me any questions or get a hold me on my Facebook page addicted to people and I will see you next week.

Just starting to tackle that tricky little second step where higher power comes into the whole recovery scene. I have no answers. I have musings I have thoughts I have questions. Please let me know your musings, thoughts and questions by going to the Facebook page for addicted to people. Hope you get something out of this

Please a little bit of a heavy one with the events that happened this week with the storming of the capital I find myself thinking back to the terrorism of my childhood and the childhood a lot of kids grew up in alcoholic homes. And I'm finding a lot of parallels in the lack of understanding I have for why my mother was so angry with her life and why these people are so angry with their lives. So please go to the Facebook page the addicted to people Facebook page let me know what you think let me know if you think I'm being too morose or if you have topics that way you would like me to talk about. I would appreciate it.

If you're anything like me you've asked yourself from time to time how did I end up like this? Now I'm thrice times divorced I have been through a lot of financial difficulties and I seem to always have somebody addicted in my life. So in this episode we talk about patterns and how examining the patterns of over your life can really lead to some insights as to how your life turned out this way. Please leave any at comments on the addicted to peopleFacebook page and like and subscribe as they all tell you to do and I would love it if you did.

Yes I know we've talked about acceptance before but you can never talk about it enough. Acceptance is sort of the basis of all of recovery. I contend it's the basis of happiness. It's not all of happiness and we still do need Disneyland but it's the basis, it's the ground rock, without it it's almost impossible to live authentically happy. So take a listen let me know what you think on the addicted to people Facebook page and I'll see you next year. Thanks for all who have listened nancy

Hey everyone I go into talking about basically who does America worship. Turns out it's not who we worship it's what we worship, which is capitalism and the almighty dollar. Unfortunately this year has taught us that that really doesn't work. We have thousands of people dying every day and yet our elected officials squabble over $600. I find it disgraceful, I find it the antithesis to what Jesus stood, remember him? The person we're all supposed to be celebrating. unfortunately I find it all to American

Deep dive into denial both about the denial of Covid did it I was about the vaccine the denial about the presidential election the denial that I can have can't have more than one cookie at a time without going overboard and the denial that stops us from making positive healthy choices. You cannot make a decision or a healthy choice unless you first address that there is a problem step one baby. Please come and visit me on the Facebook page for addicted to people and hopefully give me any questions you might want me to answer here on my sub stack which I'm going to start up next week and that will be fantastic

In this weeks episode I am talking about caring about ourselves loving ourselves enough to leave when we're being mistreated. I am so please join me and I'm gonna read some wonderful comments I found on a on a Twitter thread him anonymously but just to let you know that it's these things are very common and there are a lot of people that struggle with whether they should stay or leave. This happens very much during the holidays as addiction tends to escalate during the holidays at the same time that our expectations that we're going to be happy and we're going to you know get some needs met and those two things kind of clash and we have some real disasters. The newcomer meetings at our Al-Anon group are always pack during the holidays so it is a common common thing. Well I hope that I can help you in any little way to get through these holidays without feeling too mistreated and without being too disappointed. I'm going to continue to do some things about getting through the holidays starting next week I'm probably a replay of an old can you to the holidays podcast I did several years ago that was really well received but I am you are always welcome to get a hold of me on the addicted to people Facebook page and I will definitely get back to you all right bye

In this episode I talk about a huge moment of understanding about the dynamics of my family that came it seems like out of nowhere and I just really felt the need to talk about it and see what you think about it and how it might be late to your family. Hope you're all staying safe hope I get to hear from you at my addicted to people Facebook page please let anyone know that you think could get any any kind of comforter knowledge of anything out of this podcast and that let's try to get the word out.

I share how I got through the last week and how I'm getting through every week of this quarantine. I've been in quarantine since February and I live alone and it's been a challenge. But I will admit I am not sick and that is a gratitude. Please come and talk with me at the addictive people Facebook page and like subscribe whatever it is that you like to do I'm just grateful that people are listening thank you

I'm not having a great day today and so I decided it was the perfect day to do a podcast about how sucky this year was and how we get through it. Serenity prayer is heavily influential. Join me on Facebook on the addicted to people Facebook page and I hope you are staying safe.

Today I look at one of the four M's, martyrdom and the making of myself as a martyr and how I've clung to that self-image and why. I hope you can relate to some of it. I think that martyrdom is one of the most insidious and difficult of the coping mechanisms to eradicate. I think that we are a wee bit enamored of our sorrows. Anyway let me know what you think! Facebook page for addicted to people is still going and I would love to hear from you! thanks, Nancy

Hey everyone I am one pissed off woman. I didn't know what I was going to do a podcast about because I was so angry so I decided to do a podcast about being angry. If you have ever felt like you are second-class citizen simply because you are a woman this is the episode for you. Please leave your notes and messages at the Facebook page for a Addicted to People.

In this I give you a little bit of homework and that homework is to watch the documentary the social dilemma on Netflix. It really speak to those of us that look for validation and self-esteem on the outside of ourselves and exacerbates an already difficult problem. I do mention that I am going to be going off of Facebook I know I've said that before but it's really happening this time and Instagram so they will really only be two ways that you can comment I get a hold of me and the one that's available right now is through Twitter and I am @nmaclaren.

I talk about the basis of probably my life which is low self-esteem in the first of little probably be two or three episodes. Please take a listen and please leave a comment on the Facebook page for addicted to people and I love to hear from you.

There's a saying in Al-Anon that it works because we're not all crazy at the same time. But unfortunately here in America most of us are going a bit crazy if not totally crazy. So what do you do when you're dealing with not just alcoholics and addicts but all the unrecovered codependents? If you're like me you record a podcast! Please go to the addicted to people Facebook page to offer comments, questions, funny story, music, whatever! I'm up for all of it

This episode deals with the idea of Maslow‘s hierarchy and how institutions people and philosophies can actually stop us from being our best selves, from being happy joyous and free as promised in the big book. I hope that even if you've heard this information before it helps in some small way to analyzing your relationships and whether they're good for you supportive or whether they are controlling. Please get a hold of me on The addicted to people Facebook page I will be happy to answer any questions or listen to any stories. Bye-bye pandas

So this is a discussion about the pursuit of happiness and the pursuit of not being depressed in the age of a pandemic. I talk about a wonderful documentary that posits the three main elements of creating happiness in your life and a wonderful book by Johann Hari about how to break through Depression. I hope you get something useful from the podcast and if you do I hope that you leave me a note or whatever you feel like doing. I would love to hear from you because community is very important to me and is a big a big thing in this episode. You can reach me at nmaclaren@netzero.com.

This episode is all about how much we have to surrender the things that we can't control. That the suffering that will cause ourselves by not surrendering to think you can't control is what makes our life fairly miserable. So I talk about you know what it's like to surrender to the point what it's like to surrender to the to the fact that we can't win the battle of alcohol so far I love you and that we can't change our parents we can't change our past every really frankly can't change anybody. I do end on a positive note that sometimes surrender could be the best thing that ever happened to you. So please I would love to hear from you on Twitter @NancyMaclaren or email. nmaclaren@netzero.com

This is a bit of a heavy topic when I called the original world is when a baby when a child is not loved by a parent and doesn't get the kind of sense of self-worth that children need between zero and two years old and I am interested in hearing what anyone has to say about it and if they understand any of it is very very interesting to me I'd love to hear from people so please get a hold of me on Twitter and through email @NancyMaclaren. nmaclaren@netzero.com

In this episode we delve again into the idea of acceptance of reality as it is in the present. Also talk about how important it is to make informed decisions about what we're going to do and that part of the information we need is about addiction and the specific addiction that are left one is dealing with. It's also good to know about our own addiction but it sounds to me is that you're listening to this you were already searching to find out a little bit more about what does it mean oh how does that work in your life when you're addicted to other people basically as Dr. Phil would say how's that working for you? Please comment on Twitter @nancymaclaren or email me at nmaclaren@netzero.com. And subscribe ya bastards!

In this episode we talk about how hard it is for people to accept bad circumstances. That one of the reasons that we don't want to accept things is that means we have to do something and we don't want to do that because we're afraid. So before a person can really really accept that what is is they have to deal with their fears so they can move on. Please get a hold of me on Twitter @NancyMacLaren and on my email and nMacLaren@netzero.com subscribe, like, send smoke signals ,whatever you're up to

In this episode I do a little swerve mostly away from recovery but talking a lot about who we are as addicted people when we're not with the people we're addicted to. That being addicted to anything, a person or a substance usually means that we're not maturing as a human being. It means that the things that scare us confuse us we find too hard to deal with we hide all of those feelings and lose our selves in an addiction. in our case we hide behind our relationships with other people. You can hide behind anything, you can be addicted to heroin or alcohol or gaming or golf or whatever it is that keeps you from really feeling your feelings and working out the problems. Follow me on Twitter @NancyMaclaren or shoot me an email at nmaclaren@netzero.com

In this episode we talk a little bit about gaslighting and what it's like to grow up not believing that what you saw what you heard or what you felt was real. How we come to doubt ourselves to the point where we believe what people say over what we see. And this is a real problem when you're dealing with an alcoholic. So come and see me on Twitter @NancyMacLaren and leave me some messages and subscribe and I hope that you keep coming back because I love seeing that there are so many of you outside of the United States that areListening to this podcast and I would love to hear why. why are you interested in this topic and what are you getting out of it? I hope you're getting something ! OK see you next week.

Do you have critical thinking skills? When you look at a piece of media do you know what went into making it the way it was? A lot of how we feel about ourselves and a lot about how we feel about other people has been manipulated and if we haven't been taught how to think about things critically we just react. Join me in a bit of a dive into how critical thinking skills can change the world. And please see me at @Nancy MacLaren on Twitter thank you so much oh and subscribe

In this episode we explore another one of the emotional regulation skills or ideas from dialectical behavior therapy and that is removing toxic relationships from your life. This is a lifelong skill and challenge but a lot of people in recovery have a lot of other people that should be in recovery in their lives that are wrecking havoc with their mental health. So hopefully this will give some insight into what those relationships look like and give you a little courage to get rid of them. Please let me know what you think go to my email at nmaclaren@netzero.com or reach out to me on Twitter @NancyMacLaren.

Absolutely nothing. If you're in the 60s 70s generation as I am you'll see this is a play on the song “War! what is it good for absolutely nothing “ but this is about depression, my own personal war. I know is a lot of peoples personal war so we're going to talk about not what you're depressed about, think that's pretty obvious to most of us, but what we can do about it even when we think we don't have the ability to do anything about it - like you're in quarantine for 4 months with no end in sight!!!! so we're gonna talk a little bit about emotional regulation which is a part of dialectical behavior therapy and it has helped me so much and I hope that it can help you too!

Today we tackle enabler‘s and enabling which most addictive people are certainly in that category. Also I discuss what it's like to be enabled and how I had to break away from being enabled by my parents to actually grow up and become a human being. So jump on in remember to go to my Twitter feed @NancyMacLaren let me know what you think thanks

Do you feel the same feelings as a loved one to the point where you don't really know where your feelings start and their feelings end? If so you might be addicted to people. Enmeshment is the very definition of being addicted to a person so we're gonna talk about what does it mean how can you tell if you're enmeshed with someone and what can you do about it.

I am a little ragged this week due to all the stuff that's going on in America at the moment. the title asks Is America an alcoholic because I realize that the feelings that I have about what's going on are very a kin to the feelings that I had when I was living with active alcoholism so much chaos so much pain so much anger so much that's not in my control. So this episode is all about the different slogans that I use, the different tools that I use to keep myself from going insane on a daily basis and I hope they help you.

My guest Karen speaks from the heart about her very difficult childhood and how it's affected her life. Lots of experience, strength and hope! Go to the Facebook page "addicted to People" to comment or ask questions AND subscribe!

A further exploration into the idea of the three A's awareness, acceptance, and action. In this episode I talk about the reality that we choose to see and how it affects how we view life from that point on out of which lens do we see things. Are we optimist or pessimist or realists?

There are three A's in recovery; the first one is awareness, the second one is acceptance and the third one is action. The awareness is a part that comes actually before you even start step one which is all about acceptance and so in this episode I talk a little bit about becoming aware of a situation and I read a bit from the Al-Anon bluebook so that you can hear some of the wisdom that's in the program and I hope that you get something from it! of course I do. And please respond on addicted to people Facebook page and subscribe or follow whatever it is you wanna do thanks

In this episode I tackled the deep and complex topic of true love happiness and contentment and self-worth. I know that seems a lot for only 30 minutes but I'm a wizard at this kind of thing. No that's not true it's just scratching the surface of course will be talking about this more and more and of course I would love to hear from you and I can actually know what other people think besides me which is always a blessing. So please go to the addicted to people Facebook page and leave me a message subscribe like whatever those things are that you like to do.

In this episode I talk about basic idea which is that a lot of us end up going to the hardware stores looking for bread. And when they don't have bread some of us hang around just waiting until they might have bread someday or one time we saw they had bread so we stick around. it's a little deeper than that but not much.so I hope you join me for this episode of addictive people

You won't have to listen to me -well, not JUST to me. My dear friend in recovery, Christi, shared her journey and insights for you all. Please let me know how you like it on FB page Addicted to People

In this episode we do discuss the idea that a lot of addictive people suffer from black-and-white thinking and also from judging themselves against other people and pretty much coming up short most of the time. and in this time of sort of forced introspection where we're probably more of us are on our social media I think it can be really really dangerous to be judging ourselves. so that's what I wanted to talk about and I hope you come along for the ride! please check out the Facebook page for addicted to people and let me know what you think

Sticking with the idea of things in our lives that caused our life to be unmanageable, I talk about the phenomenon of intermittent reinforcement which you'll hear is something that I think all people involved with Addicts experience ,waiting for the other shoe to drop, hoping against hope that the good person will be there when you come home versus the drunk person or the person who just lost our money. So I hope that this is helpful and please stay safe and I hope to hear from you. please go to the Facebook addicted to people and let me know what you think and if you have any questions or do you want to share something that would be awesome .

We're going to take our first foray into step one and talk about how trying to control other people has made our lives miserable. I also talk about why the 12 steps is not a cult tell Violeta to listen to that. Thanks everyone and please go to my Facebook page addicted to people and leave me a message please subscribe whatever that means so that you don't miss an episode and let me know how you're liking the podcast.

What does the first step and the serenity prayer have to teach us in this time of such chaos? well it turns out a lot and this is a perfect opportunity to talk about the things that we can control and the things that we can't. Join me in this overview of the first step it's certainly not in depth and we will be doing that in the future but for now this is a just in like a prisoner of what the first step is all about. Please stay home. Please stay safe.

I look into the idea that expectations are premeditated resentments. I tell a little bit of my personal struggles with not having expectations and relate it a bit to what's going on in the world today. Please email me with any of your comments or questions at nmaclaren@netzero.com. And please subscribe if you want to make sure that you get notice when there's a new episode thanks so much and I will talk to you next Monday.

In the third episode we talk about a couple more coping mechanisms of personality traits that seem to appear in a lot of codependent people. number one;the ignoring of what we call red flags ,really big things that should have been a big warning ( danger Will Robinson ). the second one is on the cultural influences that Have created the idea that were somehow responsible for other people. Email me at nmaclaren@netzero.com to leave thoughts, questions and adoration!

When we talk about recovery from people it's not so easy to pin down what that exactly means. It isn't like quitting just alcohol or your drugs of choice or any specific substance or behavior. And that's what makes it so tricky so let's try to figure out what is it that we actually can see that we're doing so that we can stop doing that.

Addicted to people it's a weekly podcast dedicated to talking about codependency and recovery from that extremely chaotic and life-threatening condition. I share my personal journey over the last 29 years as well as take questions from the audience. You can find me at speaker but also please send me any questions or comments at my personal email which is nmaclaren@netzero.com hope to hear from you.

Heat my harrowing and instructional snow story and how it relates to my character defects. A funny take unless you're me

Expections and boundaries - only weird to us! But can save your holidays.