Podcasts about Enmeshment

"But I Had a Happy Childhood": Why Your Eating Disorder Still Makes Complete SenseThis one comes up with almost every single person I work with.But Victoria, I had a happy childhood. My parents loved me. I don't have any trauma. So why do I have an eating disorder?This episode is my answer. Because trauma is not only what happened to you. Trauma is also what didn't happen to you. The absence of the big stuff does not mean your emotional needs were met. And unmet emotional needs in childhood are trauma, just not the kind that gets talked about enough.This episode is for you if:You have always said "but I had a happy childhood" and wondered why that hasn't explained or healed thingsYou feel like you have no right to struggle because nothing that bad happened to youYou have done the therapy, the journaling, the work, and still feel it in your bodyYou want to understand why your eating disorder was created in the first placeYou are ready to grieve what you didn't get, without blame, but with truthIn this episode, we cover:✨ Why trauma is not only what happened to you, it is also what didn't happen to you✨ How unmet emotional needs in childhood create the same nervous system wounds as more obvious trauma✨ What a "happy childhood" can actually look like beneath the surface, and what it communicates to a developing nervous system✨ Being sent to your room when upset, and what that taught you about big emotions✨ How early body shame can begin long before magazines or social media✨ Early sleep separation and why your nervous system may have been in low-level survival mode from the very beginning✨ Enmeshment and codependency: what it looks like to grow up not knowing where you end and your parent begins✨ Erika Commissar's research on the first three years of life and why it matters so much for eating disorder recovery✨ Why the myth of quality over quantity time does not hold up for babies and toddlers✨ Why talk therapy alone often cannot reach wounds that formed before you had words✨ Four practical things you can begin with: permission to grieve, somatic work, writing to your younger self, and understanding the eating disorder as a messenger rather than an enemy✨ Victoria answers a listener question from someone who is pregnant and exhausted by the fightPowerful quotes from the episode:

In this episode, Pastor Josh and Sharon McPherson tackle some of the biggest questions Christian families are asking today. From youth sports and parenting priorities to grandparents, family boundaries, and preparing young men and women for marriage, this conversation is packed with practical wisdom and biblical insight.How do parents know when it's time to “get off the train” of endless activities and travel sports? What should families do when grandparents undermine the values they're trying to build at home? How can young men and women prepare themselves for a healthy, God-honoring marriage? Josh and Sharon dive into each topic with honesty, humor, and years of real-life parenting experience.These are questions from real listeners! If you want to submit your own questions, send it to info@StrongerManNation.comGET YOUR TICKETS NOW!          Freedom Con 2026: Rise of the Statesman          June 19-20, 2026 • Father's Day Weekend          The Gorge Amphitheater, George, WashingtonREGISTER: https://www.FreedomCon26.comSupport the showThanks for listening! Go to www.StrongerManNation.com for more resources. 

Enmeshment is why your marriage feels lonely even when nothing is wrong, and your spouse has been competing with your mother for years without anyone naming it.If you call your mom four times a day, run every decision past her, and feel guilty when you don't, this video explains what is actually happening in your nervous system, and why the books on enmeshment and the boundary advice on social media never reached the layer that needed to be reached.Kenny Weiss is a relationship, communication, and childhood trauma recovery specialist. He teaches the Worst Day Cycle™, the Authentic Self Cycle™, and the Emotional Authenticity Method™. He names the exact mechanism most therapy misses: enmeshment is not closeness without boundaries, it is identity colonization, where a parent overwrites the child's preferences, beliefs, and sense of self before the child can speak.Enmeshment is the absence of boundaries, where the child becomes responsible for the parent's emotional equilibrium. The reversed umbilical cord is what happens when a parent unconsciously recruits a child to be their surrogate spouse, therapist, or emotional regulator. The child grows into an adult whose nervous system is wired to one person, which is why their spouse feels like the second relationship even after twenty years of marriage.The Loyalty Bind is the invisible contract written in the child's nervous system before they can read. It says, if I choose myself, I betray my parent, if I betray my parent, I lose love, if I lose love, I die. That contract was rational at age five. It still runs at thirty-five, forty-five, fifty-five, which is why setting a boundary with an enmeshed parent feels like committing a crime, not setting a limit. The Emotional Authenticity Method™ is the six-step process Kenny uses to rewire that contract, ending with Feelization, where the new emotional blueprint becomes the loudest voice in the room.Kenny Weiss has helped thousands of high-functioning adults break the loyalty bind, rebuild internal boundaries, and stop competing with their parents for their own marriage. His work is a blueprint rewrite, not symptom management.TOPICS COVEREDenmeshment, enmeshed family, married to your mother, mother son enmeshment, mother daughter enmeshment, identity colonization, loyalty bind, parentification, narcissistic parent, family of origin, codependency with parents, reversed umbilical cord, surrogate spouse, emotional incest, setting boundaries with parents, Worst Day Cycle, Authentic Self Cycle, Emotional Authenticity Method, Kenny WeissTIMESTAMPS0:00 — The Kitchen Scene You Already Know1:30 — Why Your Spouse Has Been the Mistress3:00 — Enmeshment vs Closeness: The Tennis Court Net5:30 — Identity Colonization: The Wound No One Names8:00 — The Reversed Umbilical Cord10:30 — The Worst Day Cycle of Enmeshment13:00 — The Loyalty Bind You Signed at Five15:30 — Why Just Set a Boundary Never Worked17:30 — The Authentic Self Cycle Rewrite19:30 — The Emotional Authenticity Method22:00 — The Conversation That Brings You Home

In this emotionally insightful episode of Nerdy Bitz, The Reverend Tracy returns with a brand-new TL;DL titled “Gilmore Girls, Parentification, And The Romanticization Of Enmeshment.” Using the beloved television series Gilmore Girls as the centerpiece of the discussion, The Reverend Tracy takes a deeper psychological look at the show's famous “best friend mother” dynamic and why so many audiences mistake emotional enmeshment for healthy parenting.While Gilmore Girls is often celebrated for its fast dialogue, quirky charm, and close-knit relationships, this episode explores the darker emotional implications underneath Lorelai and Rory Gilmore's relationship dynamic. The Reverend Tracy examines how the show unintentionally normalizes parentification — a psychological pattern where children take on emotional responsibilities, burdens, or relational roles that are developmentally inappropriate for them.Throughout the episode, she discusses how children placed into emotionally adult roles often become caretakers, mediators, therapists, or emotional support systems for their parents long before they are emotionally equipped to carry those responsibilities. What may appear “cute,” “mature,” or “best-friend-like” on the surface can actually create long-term difficulties involving boundaries, emotional regulation, identity formation, conflict management, and adult relationships later in life.The episode breaks down:What parentification actually isThe difference between closeness and emotional enmeshmentWhy “best friend parenting” can blur emotional boundariesHow children in enmeshed households often suppress their own emotional needsThe psychological consequences of children becoming emotional caretakersHow media romanticizes unhealthy family dynamicsWhy emotionally immature parenting is often misunderstood as relatabilityThe long-term effects parentification can have on anxiety, guilt, people-pleasing, and adult relationshipsThe Reverend Tracy also explores why audiences are frequently drawn to these relationship dynamics in television and film, especially when unhealthy emotional dependency is framed as loyalty, closeness, or unconditional love. Using examples from Gilmore Girls, she highlights how unresolved trauma and emotional loneliness can shape parenting styles in ways that feel normal to viewers who experienced similar family structures growing up.Rather than attacking the series itself, the discussion uses Gilmore Girls as a lens to better understand the importance of healthy boundaries, emotional maturity, and allowing children to fully experience childhood without carrying adult emotional burdens.Support Friends Talking Nerdy on ⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠.As always, we wish to thank Christopher Lazarek for his wonderful theme song. Head to his ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for information on how to purchase his EP, Here's To You, which is available on all digital platforms.Head to Friends Talking Nerdy's⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠for more information on where to find us online.

Broadcaster and comedian Wendy Harmer and positive psychologist Dr Tim Sharp (aka ‘Dr Happy’) lift the veil on relationships and explore what it takes to nurture our most important connections with our partners, friends, and with ourselves. About the episode – brought to you by Australian Seniors, in partnership with RSPCA. Join Jean Kittson for the seventh season of DARE: The time of your life (formerly Life’s Booming), called Better With Age. Too often ageing is painted as decline. In reality, Australians are living longer, healthier lives and reshaping what “older” looks like. This series flips the script and shows how ageing is not a dirty word but rather a time to be embraced, featuring interviews with extraordinary over 50s refusing to slip quietly into the background. Wendy Harmer is a trailblazing comedian, broadcaster and journalist who has spent decades at the centre of Australian media and entertainment. Wendy first made her mark breaking new ground in Australia’s stand-up comedy scene before going on to become one of the country’s most recognisable media personalities and the author of bestselling books including Farewell My Ovaries. Australia’s own Dr Happy, Dr Tim Sharp is a leading positive psychologist, bestselling author and founder of The Happiness Institute, Australia’s first organisation dedicated to enhancing happiness. With a career spanning academia, clinical psychology and public speaking, he’s become one of the most recognised voices on mental health and wellbeing. Watch DARE: The Time of Your Life on YouTube Listen to DARE: The Time of Your Life on Apple Podcasts Listen to DARE: The Time of Your Life on Spotify For more information visit seniors.com.au/podcast Produced by Medium Rare Content Agency -- TRANSCRIPT: Jean Kittson: Welcome back to the podcast – DARE: The Time of Your Life, formerly Life’s Booming, brought to you by Australian Seniors, in partnership with RSPCA. I'm Jean Kittson, and this season is called Better with Age where we're flipping the script and showing how ageing is not a dirty word, but rather a time to be embraced. Australians are living longer, healthier lives, and this season celebrates over 50s who are pushing the boundaries of what ageing looks like and feels like. In this episode, we are lifting the veil on relationships and exploring what it takes to nurture our most important connections with our partners, friends, and with ourselves. We've probably all experienced how relationships shift over time. It's natural, of course, but it might surprise you to know just how important they are to our overall happiness and why it's vital to keep nurturing all relationships old and new. Which brings me to our first guest, Wendy Harmer, who knows about the importance of friendships and relationships and making new ones as we age. I first met Wendy when we worked together back in the 80s, so we've been friends a long time. She's one of Australia's most beloved entertainers, a trailblazing, standup comedian, journalist, broadcaster, performer and bestselling author. Her books include the wonderful Pearly children's book series, as well as more adult titles like Farewell My Ovaries and her memoir Lies My Mirror Told Me. And joining Wendy is Dr Tim Sharp, otherwise known as Dr Happy. Tim is one of Australia's leading positive psychologists, and the founder and Chief Happiness officer at the Happiness Institute. Also a bestselling author, including The Happiness Handbook and his most recent Lost and Found. Tim has dedicated his career to helping people live happier and more flourishing lives. Tim and Wendy, welcome to the podcast. Thank you both for coming in. Wendy Harmer: Great to be here, Jean. Jean Kittson: Oh, it's lovely to have you both here. Wendy Harmer: I've got to say, Tim, the first time I set eyes on this one, what a bombshell. She would've been on stage in a nurse's uniform at The Last Laugh Theatre Restaurant. It was, at the time, playing Nurse… Jean Kittson: Pam Sandwich… Wendy Harmer: …Pam Sandwich Jean Kittson: …in Let the Blood Run Free. Wendy Harmer: And this. All arms and legs and big boobs and blonde hair and falling over and doing all this amazing physical comedy. Everyone just adored Jean – and the men, we had to fight them off with a stick. Jean Kittson: Yeah. Well those were the days, weren't they? This is what friendship's all about Tim, right? Thanks Wendy. That was lovely of you to say that. I mean, we've known each other for, well, since the early 80s. Wendy Harmer: It would have been about ‘83. Jean Kittson: And you were on stage doing stand up. See, I was doing [characters] and you were amazing, what you were talking about, women’s things – topics for women, about women and relationships. Wendy Harmer: That's right. Well, because when I first started out doing standup, it was really a bloke's domain and I thought, well, this, you know, this is ridiculous because, you know, women's lives are interesting too, and I mean, there's one thing that annoys me above anything else is saying women aren't funny. Like the idea, Tim, that you would say, ‘oh, the pet budgie can make me laugh. The dog can make me laugh, but a woman can't make me laugh.’ I mean, it really, I think it strikes to our humanity and I get really cross about that. So I've sort of been a bit of a campaigner with that, you know, rubber chook on a stick for many years. But you know, the idea, I know you have this happiness. You talk a lot about happiness. How important is laughter? Dr Happy: Very important. Well, it's a general group, laughter, fun play, all of those things, which we too often underestimate and discount. Well, we sort of see them as a nice to have, but the research is pretty clear. It's super important for a good life. It's hard to live a best life, a thriving life, a flourishing life without laughter, without fun, without play. I mean, there are many other things as well, and I'm sure we'll get to some of those other things, but a hundred percent it is a very important contributor to living a really, really good quality life. Wendy Harmer: And it's interesting too, that our sense of humor. It's not universal at all. It's formed in that crucible of the family, or indeed your chosen family like Jean. You know, we chose each other as grownups to be a family. But that, you know, there is like the punny family, there's the practical joke family. There's, you know, each family has its own particular sense of humor, doesn't it? Jean Kittson: Well, I think friendship is a really important way of maintaining humour in your life because you get together with friends to have a laugh, don't you, often? Wendy Harmer: Yeah. Jean Kittson: I mean, they're complex relationships, friendships. I mean, you've had friendships for a long time, Wendy, long-term friends. Wendy Harmer: I still have a friend who was at my 70th birthday a couple of months ago, whom I met on the school bus when I was 13 years old. So I – Gary. So I think that's pretty cool. He's the friend that I've had the longest, but you know, Jean and I have very similar trajectories in this way. We both were sort of country girls, and then we went to Melbourne and then we moved to Sydney. And that is a big dislocator, isn't it, of friendships. It's when you, you know, and we both moved to Sydney about the same time, so we left this huge coterie of friends to move to Sydney with our husbands, and then we both had kids, which is isolating as well… Jean Kittson: …definitely, it changes everything, doesn't it… Wendy Harmer: … you know, the nature of a friendship just changes so much over the years. Jean Kittson: But in terms of friendship and happiness, I mean, is friendship a really important element? You are talking about laughing, which it is, but I know when I get together with friends, we laugh a lot. But friendship is a really important part of, you know, happiness. Dr Happy: Yeah. Well, look, I've been, well, I probably should say I started out my career specialising in unhappiness. I was a clinical psychologist to begin with and an academic. So I was studying sort of stress, depression, and misery before I even discovered happiness. But I have been studying, well, what we technically call positive psychology for several decades now. And if I had to sum up everything I've learned from thousands of research articles, hundreds of books, many, many conferences about, you know, what are the most important contributors to, well not just happiness, but wellbeing more generally, longevity, physical health, et cetera, it would certainly be positive relationships. In fact, one of the – so Christopher Peterson was one of the leaders, one of the grandfathers of positive psychology, and he dedicated his life to studying, thriving and flourishing. And he was once asked, what have you learned in, you know, 50 years as a professor? And he said, I can sum it up in three words. He said, other people matter. Wendy Harmer: Wow. That is correct. Dr Happy: So yeah, it's vitally important, almost certainly the most important contributor and the most important thing we can do is prioritise fostering and developing good quality relationships. Wendy Harmer: Well, you do hear that, don't you? That people ask on their deathbed, you know, what's your regret? And it's often that I didn't spend enough time with friends or family. You have some amazing relationships, Jean, and it's funny when you have a friend and you get to know that – and Angela, she's not a friend of mine, but I know her to be your best friend and that your friendship has been amazing over the years. How long have you known Angela? Jean Kittson: Well, I've known Angela for, since we were both teachers sent to the wilderness to teach first year out teachers. So probably since we were about 21, so 50 years. But she's a long distance friend, so I would speak to this friend regularly on the phone, and we speak all the time whenever we like on the phone, but I would only see Ange maybe once or twice a year, which is another thing about friendship. I know that our friendship endures because we speak regularly and we are in touch with each other's lives. Then I have friends who live a few streets away who I don't see for months, but I don't ring because they're only a few streets away and I lose contact – I mean, we often lose contact with friends. So, how do you manage that sort of – have you lost contact with any friends? You've got a huge cohort of friends. Wendy Harmer: Oh, well, I've lost, you know, I've lost contact with lots and lots of friends. I've only once lost contact with someone on purpose. I've done the– and that was after I spent time with this friend, and I realised that every time I walked away from spending time with this friend, I felt worse about myself. There was something just subtle in the relationship that just made me feel that I wasn't smart enough or I was like overweight or I wasn't achieving or whatever. Richard Stubbs, you know, our comedian friend, he would say, Wendy, he said, ‘sometimes you go back to that well, where it's quite clearly the person doesn't wanna be friends with you, and you are like, you won't take no for an answer.’ So I'm probably the opposite. I'm probably that needy person who wants, who needs you to be my friend, maybe. Jean Kittson: Well, I think we all need friends and we don't like it when we lose contact. And then you get embarrassed because it's been so long since you called. This is my situation that I'm too scared to ring up in case they just won't pick up and then I know I'm dropped. How do you mend broken friendships if– because they can be very painful, that sort of grief of losing someone just because of neglect, really not deliberately ghosting them or anything. Because friendships need to be nurtured, need to be fed in a way, need to be maintained. Wendy Harmer: [Like this plant..] Oh, that's plastic. That's plastic! I was going to say like this house plant! Jean Kittson: Yeah. Dr Happy: Look, it's, well, there's a couple of things there. You're a hundred percent right. We– relationships do need to be worked on. Now for some people that's easier than others. There's no doubt that some people who, at the risk of oversimplifying, may be the more extroverted people who find it more enjoyable, easier. It just comes naturally to them. Some of us, some other people, need to work a bit harder at it, but it is something you need to work at. And the other thing that came out through both of that, is that things change over time, which shouldn't be a surprise. You know, as we age and as our circumstances change and as our contexts change, you know, and you get married and you have children and then you retire, and all those sorts of things. So, our relationships will change, but we do still need to work on it. We do still, it is important to have some friends, for some people that will be fewer than others. You know, so some people, some of us are happy with one or two good friends, that's enough. Other people might need five 10 or whatever. But… Wendy Harmer: I can never have enough! Dr Happy: …and that's okay. Again, we're all different. Wendy Harmer: Well, yeah. My husband is, he has the most friendships of any person I've ever met in my entire life, to the point where every now and then, it's like barnacles on a barge. I have to go down and scrape them off… Dr Happy: Are you calling your husband a barge? Wendy Harmer: …every now and then. Yeah. But then he had his 50th birthday at our house. Mind you, 350 people came. Jean Kittson: Amazing. Dr Happy: Wow. Wendy Harmer: Lord. But it's almost… Jean Kittson: I’m jealous. Wendy Harmer: …Yeah. But it's almost like his mission, you know, mission in life. But you know, I'll tell you something though. Oh, have you ever had this Jean, have you ever been jealous of someone else's friendship? Because I remember years ago, I was a big Oprah aficionado. I loved everything that Oprah did. And then she talked all the time about her best friend, Gail King. Jean Kittson: Mm-hmm. Wendy Harmer: And they went on a road trip together and how they talked to each other three or four times a day and dah, dah, dah, dah. And I thought, oh, I wish I had a friendship like Gail and Oprah. So I had to stop reading about their friendship because it just seemed too ideal. But, I'm not sure that they weren't just lying. Jean Kittson: They–– didn't you say that they rang each other three or four times a day? Wendy Harmer: Yeah. Three, three or four times a day. Jean Kittson: I know that seems excessive. Wendy Harmer: It does seem excessive. Jean Kittson: I think it seems like there's some insecurity there even. Wendy Harmer: Yeah. Maybe. Jean Kittson: Maybe, although, you know, we all need friends for different reasons, and we all need them at different times for different reasons. Often friends are the ones that get you through the hardest times in your life and you don't want to burden your family and your partner all the time with your insecurities. Wendy Harmer: See, I wanna say something really important there, which I hate, which is, you know, where people, you know, they make their marriage vows and they say, ‘you are my best friend.’ And I think. I don't want my husband to be my best friend. My husband is my lover, but he's not my best friend. I mean, what do you think of that, Jean? Jean Kittson: Well, in some ways, I suppose, you need to have a friendship with your relationship. Wendy Harmer: Yeah. Yeah. Jean Kittson: It needs to be companionable. You need to trust them to be able to be honest with each other, and that's what friendships are like, and to have sex. You know, if you… Wendy Harmer: Be honest with each other? Are you serious? Jean Kittson: I'm serious. You gotta be honest about your– well, about how you're feeling, I mean, you don't, I mean– of course. I think honesty is really important, although, no, I don't wanna say anything too personal here, but there is a difference, yes. There is a difference between your friendship with your girlfriends, where you can just download and, I mean, do you have a really close male friend, this is the other thing? Wendy Harmer: Oh, yeah, yeah. I've got, actually, probably, I've got more male friends and female friends even. And I love my male friends. When my husband and I got married, I had an ex-boyfriend in my bridal party and he had his– one of his girl, not his girlfriend, but a female friend in his party. So we are very relaxed, you know, about all that. But as I say, you know, yes, I believe in trust, absolutely, in a relationship with your partner. Honesty? Hmm. I'll get back to you. Jean Kittson: Well, I think with really good friends, you can be honest. I often hear people say, oh, these– well, you were talking about a friend who made you feel bad. I'm not talking about that. But I think some friends, you often hear people say, ‘oh, friends should build you up’ or ‘you should always have a positive relationship with them.’ But sometimes friendships go through periods where you are there to support them through really hard times. So, it's not always gonna be someone who makes you feel better about yourself. It's maybe you making them feel better about themselves. Wendy Harmer: But sometimes also as a friend, you've got to say, listen, I think that you might be, you know, on the wrong path here. Or, you know, you've gotta put… Dr Happy: Honesty. Wendy Harmer: …Yeah. You've gotta be diplomatic, haven't you? But some– do you think that a friend, good friend should be able to say, yeah, well, maybe, I don't know whether this is quite the–– how should we go about that? Dr Happy: Oh, for sure. I think, well, if I take my sort of professional hat on and just so to speak personally, because this is something I've learned over the years and, and I haven't really seen much research on it.There's not much talk in the sort of academic community about it. But, I've come to learn, there are different types of friends and so, I have some friends who I can talk honestly about and share my feelings with, even though I'm a bloke and then there are other friends who are fun, but I would never go to them necessarily if I have a problem. And I don't think that necessarily makes them not a good friend. I think it took me a long time to learn there are just different friends who have, kind of almost different purposes for want of a better phrase, including my wife and family as well in that. And so there are some things I will call some people for and other things I'll call other people for and I don’t know if we necessarily give that as much consideration. Wendy Harmer: Is your… Jean Kittson: I think that's really true. Wendy Harmer: …Can I ask, do you think your wife is your best friend? Dr Happy: She is actually at the risk of disagreeing with you! But I don’t know if that's necessarily that common. I have, well, I suppose it depends how you define best, but we are very close friends. We've spent over 30 years now. Jean Kittson: I think you're right about friends for, you know, you don't have friends for all seasons. You have different friends for different seasons in a way. And I– there's friends I would call if I needed a bit of therapy, you know, uplifting, give me a confidence boost. And then there's friends that I would call to just take me out of my world into a whole different world. Wendy Harmer: Yeah… Jean Kittson: …And that's, that's a benefit of having many friends or a few friends. But of course, what you mentioned before, some people are introverts and find friendships more difficult to maybe maintain or they're more exhausting and other extroverts might have a whole lot of friends – like you and Brendan are both extroverts, I would say, Wendy. Dr Happy: Well, so at the risk of disagreeing, that's a bit of a misunderstanding, with introverts and extroverts, so it's not– introverts don't necessarily find friendships difficult. It's just that they don't get their energy from mixing with lots of people a lot of the time. So, they need to have time. They still could have good quality relationships, maybe not as many, but it's just that they'll need to take time out probably a bit more often and spend a bit more time on their own. So it is a bit of a– introverts aren't necessarily loners, or even lonely, for that matter. Jean Kittson: No, that's right. I'm glad you clarified that. I think I'm probably– was talking about sort of at parties and big [events] whereas extroverts get their energy, they find the whole thing… Dr Happy: Yeah. When you were describing your husband's party with 350 people, this is my worst nightmare. I was thinking, my God, I'd be out of there in five minutes. Wendy Harmer: Yeah. Tim, can I ask you, how do we kind of know, how do we know when we are deficient in friendship. Is there any universal standard or is it just every single person will feel that very differently? Dr Happy: That's a really good question. And there's probably multiple answers. Wendy Harmer: Thanks. It's a better question than Jean’s! Jean Kittson: Yeah, wow, I was– you just interview us, Wendy. I would be so happy. Dr Happy: As I say, no, great question. I think everyone is different. So again, we all need, you know, some of us are quite happy with a very small group of intimate friends, other people want the 350, whatever it might be. I guess the real question is to ask yourself honestly, like, how do I feel about my life? Do I feel I have enough, do I feel it's adequate in that context and in other contexts as well? Because there's a difference between being alone and being lonely – [we] kind of almost touched on that before. And again, there some people are perfectly happy, either totally on their own or maybe just one or two people in their lives. Other people need more than that, and it's not– one's not right or wrong or better or worse, it's just, again, we're different. So the question then is, how do you feel and if you are, if you don't feel happy with it… Although what we do need to be careful of, and you kind of touched on this a bit earlier maybe with the Oprah thing, is social comparison. Jean Kittson: Yes. Dr Happy: We do need to be careful looking at, you know, let's say you or your husband saying, ‘oh, she's got lots of friends. I don't have enough so I'm inadequate.’ Wendy Harmer: Yeah. Dr Happy: That's not necessarily the case. Social comparison is problematic and number is one, because as you hinted at, especially on social media, it's not always accurate. Not always truthful. But two, even if it does work for you or Oprah, it doesn't necessarily mean it works for me. Wendy Harmer: Mm-hmm. Dr Happy: So we've all gotta find our own right way, our own balance, I suppose. And again, for some people that will be a bit easier than others. Wendy Harmer: Mm, Jean Kittson: Yes. I suppose as you get older too, there's going to be, there's so many more responsibilities in your life. I know that as a carer, people always say, ‘oh, maintain your own friendships and maintain a social life,’ but it's almost impossible if you are a carer for someone and you're on-call and you have to cancel social engagements, and you find yourself drifting away from friends and moving – you're no longer the inner circle of your friendship group. You're getting further and further out. And I just wonder if that's– if you can repair that, if that couldn't be repaired when you are, you know, you have more time and let fewer responsibilities. Wendy Harmer: Yeah. It feels like, to me, it feels like to me that anyone that you want to have in your life would understand that. And if, if you picked up the phone and said, ‘look I've been caring for, you know, a sick relative or mum and dad or whatever,’ and I find myself now, you know, I don't have that as much responsibility anymore for whatever reason, whether there's been a bereavement or whatever that if you, if that, if you pick up the phone and that person says, welcome back and I've been thinking of you, and they welcome you with open arms, that's the person you want in your life, don't you think? Jean Kittson: Definitely. But I think the distance that can happen over years particularly means that people move on with their friendships and their lives have changed and you can no longer be intimately involved with their lives and it takes a lot to catch up. Wendy Harmer: Yeah, that's true. Jean Kittson: But you really– I think somehow you have to bridge that otherwise you will be lonely. Dr Happy: It's a really good point. As you were saying that I was, again, reflecting on my personal life as opposed to my professional life. And I was thinking, I've always found it difficult, you know, initially, busy starting my career and trying to establish my career, then getting married, having young children, and at that time, not that many of my friends had young children at the same time. So that sort of then, you know– so there was always, and now caring for elderly parents, et cetera. There's always been something that's potentially got in the way, but I am at a stage now where I'm trying to reestablish because I lost – I don't wanna bring this down too much – I lost many years through mental ill health, through quite serious depression, anxiety, and I particularly lost a lot of friendships because I isolated, it wasn't their fault necessarily. So I'm trying to reestablish it. And it's interesting, and this goes to your point, I think, to see how people respond. And some people are welcoming me back with open arms saying, ‘great, we missed you.’ Other people, not so much. And that's fine, I suppose. I guess you do learn when you do make that effort, who the real friends are. Wendy Harmer: One of the things that I'd like to talk about is that it is often women in relationships who are doing the heavy lifting when it comes to friendship. Of course this is very problematic if there is a bereavement, you know, and like my dad. My dad ended up living alone without friends. And I mean, it was very, I mean, he ended up, I think they prescribed him Prozac or some darn thing or whatever, but that happens to a lot of men, doesn't it really? It's something to watch out for, I would've  thought. Dr Happy: Certainly. Yeah, the research is pretty clear. Older men, well, men generally, tend to be not quite as good at fostering and developing those relationships. It tends to become more problematic as they age, and they tend to become more isolated, which is then a high risk factor for a whole range of problems including depression, but also other health problems as well. So yeah, it is a big problem and I think we're starting to see a real explosion as this, as the baby boomers really are hitting that, well are at that age now, I suppose, and even Gen X are getting to that point. Things are changing. So when I– I think my generation was sort of the bit of a turning point and then–– Well, when, if I look at my son, for example, is in his early twenties and how he interacts, and he might not be typical, but the way he relates to particularly his male friends is very different in a good way, I think. Jean Kittson: In a good way. Yeah. Wendy Harmer: I think I agree. Same with my–– how old's your son? Dr Happy: 23. Wendy Harmer: Yeah, mine's 28. I see them very accepting of each other. They don't have to, well, you know, maybe this, our particular sort of… Dr Happy: We might not be typical… Wendy Harmer: But they don't have to put on that macho thing, and they're very, it seems to me they do reach out to a friend who's down. You know, going through a hard time, they seem to be softer. Dr Happy: I think it is changing. So, I mean, I did a podcast series a few years ago on what does it mean to be a man? And the main thing I took, I learned from, I mean, I was meant to be teaching people, I suppose, but the main thing I learned from that is that there isn't one masculinity. There are masculinities. There are multiple ways to quote/unquote be a man. And I think I sort of try and talk a lot about that, particularly young men that, you know, there are different ways to be masculine. There are different ways to show your emotions. There are different ways to be vulnerable. Again, we'll all do that differently, but if we can be more accepting, I think that's really important because, you know, men as a result of all of that, there are significant health and mental health problems, from poor definitions of masculinity. Jean Kittson: Yes, of course. Wendy Harmer: Hey Jean, do you reckon you can make a new friend at our age? Jean Kittson: Well, I was just going to ask you that, in fact, Wendy. I think well, if we take from the men's side, often people of our age and getting older are put into retirement villages or their families say, you know, you go off and sell the family home. And they wanna put us with each other instead of a cross section. And we’re supposed to make friends like we were back at kindergarten and often people are in their 80s and they move into a whole new community. Wendy Harmer: They're quite set in their ways. Of course. Jean Kittson: …yes, of course Not flexible. Jean Kittson: Well, maybe they just have other, different incapacities. Maybe they can't see very well, maybe they can't hear very well, and you're supposed to start new friendships at that stage in life. I think that from my point of view, but I'd rather ask you both this.. Wendy Harmer: …but you've written the books about this… Jean Kittson: Well, I wrote books about being, yes, about caring for our elders and how to make sure they got what they wanted and they had the life they wanted. And not many people wanna leave their community at a late age and try to make new friends, that's for sure. It's very, very difficult. And often it comes with, because of their maybe ill health and they can't– mum had lost her sight for 20 years and mum and dad, both of them couldn't hear very well. So it was harder to make new friends, but they did through groups, like you're saying, how do you make new friends? It's like the Men Shed, or bowling for the vision impaired – which is a very dangerous sport, I must say – but you make new friends by, and we had… and there's, you know, choirs and painting and perhaps joining groups where you're not having to go out for a coffee and sit opposite a stranger and try to, you know, find common ground, that you're doing something else. It's like the friendships, I imagine, it's like those sometimes very intimate friendships you have with people on a train or a bus or a plane that you know you're never going to see again, and then you just share all sorts of things. Wendy Harmer: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm really pleased to hear that because I mean, it just sounds horrifying to me, the idea of going to an aged care home and being sat around with a whole lot of people and then think, and someone jollying and like, ‘oh, let's all be friends’. I could not think of anything worse. But you're saying that it doesn't have to be like that. Jean Kittson: Oh, there is a lot of community and if you're there for a while, I mean, people often are very– start off not very happy in those sort of places, because they've had illness. And there'll be a lot of people probably listening to this podcast who are struggling with things that are happening in their lives and thinking, well, how do I even have time for friends? But it is really important, even if you've only got one friend, don't you think? Dr Happy: Definitely, and I think you've hit the nail on the head. I think it is difficult, I think we all acknowledge that, but it is possible. And I think you're right. Joining clubs, societies, community– I mean, I was thinking of my mum who, after mum and dad got divorced and very later became a very passionate bridge player like multiple times a week. And that was her family. It was her second family. It was– dad's been very involved in Rotary. So some of the– you know, there are communities or groups that already exist, you know, woodworking or sporting or the Men's Sheds for example, that's a great way to do it because you're also pursuing, you know, presuming you're pursuing a passion that you enjoy or some sort of hobby, but you're interacting with other people. So that is possible and it's one of probably, the best and easiest way to do it if that's something you want to or need to do. Wendy Harmer: Mm-hmm. I did a little bit of research about this, about resilience in children, and one of the conclusions is that resilience, if a child– a child just needs one adult to make a difference to their resilience. So, and you know, that might not be mum or dad, it could be a friend, could be a relative or whatever, but just that one person, and I'm thinking it's probably the same in old age as well. Dr Happy: Yeah, well I talk a lot about happiness and thriving, flourishing, and as I had said earlier, I talk a lot about positive relationships because it's one of the most important contributors. And I often talk about what I call ‘3:00 AM friends.’ Who would you call at 3:00 AM when the [bleep] hits the fan? – Am I allowed to say that? – When something goes wrong. And well like you said, you really only need one. I mean, if you've got two or three. That's just fantastic. But if you've got one person who you can call when something's gone wrong, that's all you need and that's super important at any age really. Wendy Harmer: Well I’ve got Jean on speed dial. Jean Kittson: Call me at 3:00 AM anytime, Wendy. Oh, that's a very great point. Wendy Harmer: I've never thought of that. That’s a really good point, who would you call? Jean Kittson: Who would you call… Wendy Harmer:…who would you call at 3:00 AM? Well, I know that Jean has been such an extraordinary carer for her mum and dad that I know that she'll have every number of every medical centre, ambulance, where to get drugs… Jean Kittson: But which friend would I call? Dr Happy: Can I get your number? Jean Kittson: And have you got someone you would call after…? Dr Happy: Well, at the risk of upsetting Wendy, my wife. And then well, yeah, I'm pretty lucky to have a good family as well. So, I wouldn't say we are best buddies who speak every day, but I have a brother and sister, and we have pretty good, strong relationships. I think if I needed to, I know either one of them would do whatever they could. I have a father who's still, he's obviously getting– my mother died, but he's elderly and physically sort of isn't able to do much, but he would do whatever he could, obviously. And then, yeah, I do have a small handful of friends who I think if I really needed to and who I have, I suppose in the past, called up when I needed to. Wendy Harmer: I wanna put this, I mean, I really, really must insist here that, I'm talking about in the event that my husband is like, lying next to me dead or something, who am I gonna call? Because he would be the first person… Dr Happy: …well if he's dead there's no point calling anyone! Jean Kittson: It's interesting that, well, sometimes people would prefer, well, what am I trying to say here? Sometimes I feel guilty when I think the first people I would call would be in my family. They're the people I'm closest to, probably, and they're the ones that I– we share everything. Wendy Harmer: Yeah, of course. Jean Kittson: But then psychologically that could be called enmeshment, if I say I'd call my daughters if I, you know, needed something at three in the morning, they'd be the first people that I would. Wendy Harmer: Of course. Jean Kittson: But, I'm not sure whether that's unhealthy or not. Dr Happy: No, not necessarily. Enmeshment is maybe the three times a day sort of thing, but calling – and probably I should have put my kids in that when I was talking about earlier as well – but no, I think calling… One of the greatest myths in our society, I think, and one of the greatest myths and misconception about happiness or life generally, is this myth of independence. And I could bang on about neoliberalism… Wendy Harmer: …No man is an Island, John Donne… Dr Happy: But no, well, I think so much of a sort of quote/unquote Western society is focused on independence and individual responsibility. And that's not to say we shouldn't be responsible. Of course we should, but we are social animals. We're social beings, and there's nothing wrong at all in needing other people and relying on other people. Not every minute of every day for everything. That's problematic. But when something goes wrong, we shouldn't feel bad at all about reaching out and asking for help. Wendy Harmer: But this is also, this is also a product of the kind of society that we live in. I mean, if you look at those intergenerational households… Dr Happy: Mm-hmm. Wendy Harmer: …that you see in so many other cultures, of course everyone's enmeshed and everyone's friends, everyone's arguing, everyone's, you know, it's a whole… Jean Kittson: Ecosystem… Wendy Harmer: …in itself. That's right. And so you've got, living down the street, there's this ecosystem there and this one there and this one there. But, Australia, of course, we have this thing where, oh, you must grow up and move out of home and it's gonna be great for everyone. And I mean, it's not necessarily. Jean Kittson: Well, we're products of the nuclear family, aren't we? Where our… Wendy Harmer: Yeah, we sure are. Jean Kittson: …our parents were, they were aspirational. They wanted to leave the small towns and the… everyone seemed to think a small town was bad when I was growing up. And you had to go to the city and that was where the excitement was and the stimulation was, and that's where people got things done and they were more interesting. And now I think we're realising that small towns and villages… Dr Happy: …green changes… Jean Kittson: …yeah, exactly. They really have so much to offer. And you were talking about young people beforehand, people in villages, you know, now we need mentors for young people and this great organisation, Raise organisation, that puts mentors in schools. And that's another thing you can do if you're older and you wanna connect, you can volunteer to be a mentor for a younger person. A younger person once– you know, we had, when we were in a village, we had mentors, whether we liked it or not. We had companionship because everyone was interested in who we were and what we might contribute to the community. But that's lost. Wendy Harmer: Well, I'm glad you're asking. Yes, I will move in with you. Jean Kittson: Yes. Move in and mentor me, Wendy. Dr Happy: No, I think… I couldn't agree more. I think there's no doubt that big cities do offer something like, you know, employment prospects and entertainment variety and even, you know, cafes and restaurants and blah, blah, blah. But when we're– if you look at the research into, well not happiness at an individual level, but sort of, thriving and flourishing at a sort of higher level, the happiest places to live tend to be those regional centres that are big enough… so for example, in, you know, New South Wales it would be Orange or Newcastle or Wollongong. So they're big enough to have everything you might want, but still small enough to have a sense of connection and community. Wendy Harmer: …Geelong, Ballarat … Dr Happy: Yeah. So every state would have a version of that. And that's what you know, I think during COVID for example, we saw a significant shift to some of those places. Because that's what people were looking for, that connection, that community, and many of those people have stayed there or are continuing to move those spaces. So, I mean, I suppose if you can find that in the big city, great. That's good. That's what we wanna try and do, those of us that do live in big cities, to find that community through clubs, through societies, through whatever, you know, surf club, for example, that's a great example. Whatever it might be. Jean Kittson: That is an excellent piece of advice about finding the connection where you are. So many people reach our age and they decide they want a tree change or a sea change, and they leave their community and then they think their kids will visit, but they're back in the city with their own family earning a living, and then they find they're on their own again, and they've left the people that are really important. Yeah, would you ever move Wendy? Wendy Harmer: Oh yes. Jean Kittson: …but not far… Wendy Harmer: Oh, yes! My husband's a bit of a mollusc and a rock. We lived in, I mean I grew up moving all over the place because dad was a rural school teacher. So, I mean, when we talk about friendships, well, you know, I had to make friends over and over and over again. And so I think that's why I might just have a little bit of neediness there because I always think, oh, you know, that things that you grow up with, I suppose a pathology. I would love to move, but my husband's very content to, you know, where he is. I've got one daughter who lives next door. I mean, I adore that. And then I've got one son who's, you know, he spends a lot of time overseas, so, I've got a bit, you know, I've got a bit of both. Would I move ? Jean Kittson: Well, you could take your friends with you, obviously you would move in the same area, or would you do a really– I mean… I would be worried about community and friendship moving. Wendy Harmer: You have to understand this. Did I say mollusc on a rock? The man is immovable. It's not happening. So, yeah. But, you know, home for me is where I am. You know, I don't– because I grew up in all these different places, I don't really– if you said, Wendy, where's home? I would say, here, Wendy is home. That's where home is for me. So a little bit different. Jean Kittson: And Tim, what about you? Dr Happy: Well, we were chatting before, and we're literally in the process of selling a family home that we've been in for 25 years. But we're probably not going to move very far at all, like a few kilometers. But what we have done, because we're empty nesters now, but we've also bought a block of bush, a couple of hours out of Sydney, where we're gradually spending more and more time. So that's thoroughly enjoyable, immersed in nature. So sort of trying to get the best of both worlds. We have a smaller place in Sydney and a nice retreat. Jean Kittson: That's perfect. That's like the ideal. Wendy Harmer: …best of both worlds. Fantastic. Jean Kittson: My sister and I both married people from New South Wales and then my parents moved from Sorento where they'd been for years and years, had a great network of friends and they moved up to New South Wales to be near my sister and I. We both had young kids. We were both, you know, we needed help, and they moved there. And I went back to Sorento last week, and there were all these people – to do a fundraiser for a hospice – and there were all these people who were friends of mum and dad's. Because they were in business, they had friends that were younger. We didn't touch on this, but friends of different ages, you know, not just your peers. They had friends who were my age who thought of them really fondly and it was really lovely. It was amazing how warmly they spoke of them and how if mum and dad had turned up again after 20 years, they would just fall straight back into that friendship. Wendy Harmer: We get back to that, to the kind of culture that we live in that does not make being close as possible as it should. Jean Kittson: No, we should never have moved away from mum and dad. We should have stayed near them and they moved to be near us. And, I don't think they– they made some good friends, very, very good friends. But the friendships they'd made over their middle years were the closest friends, and long lasting. I mean, after their death, they were still friends with them. In fact, I was saying how I've got this problem because mum and dad's ashes are still in my cupboard, because mum wanted to be scattered at sea and dad wanted to be with mum, but not scattered at sea. So. I'm stuck. Dr Happy: I'm not gonna get involved in that one! Jean Kittson: No, exactly! Wendy Harmer: I've still got a whole lot of dad's ashes, because he moved around Victoria so much, I've got no idea where I should put them. I'd have to do this tour, you know, Cook’s tour and put I bit there, and a bit there, a bit there… Jean Kittson: But what I was gonna say, one of these women who– mum had given her her first job, which I didn't really know her. She has a boat and she said I'll take their ashes out and scatter them for you. Wasn't that nice? Dr Happy: There you go, a generous offer. Jean Kittson: I know… what sort of… that's a pretty good friendship, I would say. Wendy Harmer: Yeah. I'll scatter your ashes after you die. Jean Kittson: Will you? Thank you Wendy. Wendy Harmer: I think I'll do it in the shoe department at David Jones. Jean Kittson: Do it next week…! Wendy Harmer: You'd be quite happy there, wouldn't you? Jean Kittson: That's where you would be. I'll be in the local op shop. Just leave them there. Someone will probably buy them. Would either of you like to say anything more about the importance of friendship because we can wrap up otherwise. Wendy Harmer: I would like to say that I'm still recruiting! Jean Kittson: Yeah. I'll share your number! Wendy Harmer: …So if you'd like to… Jean Kittson: …this is Wendy's number Wendy Harmer: …if you'd like to be my, where's my camera? If you'd like to be my friend, do drop me a line. Look, I am Mrs Have-a-chat. My daughter just says, going down the street with you is a nightmare because I'm like, oh, there's the butcher. I might have a yarn with them. And oh, there's… So, yes. As I say, I'm taking applications. Dr Happy: Oh. Well, I think I probably already made my point, but I just to reiterate, I'd say there are multiple factors that contribute to living a good and happy life, but if I was gonna say the most important thing, I would say fostering and developing good quality relationships. So, make it a priority. It's just as if not more important than anything else you can possibly do. Jean Kittson: Thank you both very much… Wendy Harmer: …And thank you for being my friend all these years. Jean Kittson, an ornament to my life. Jean Kittson: Yeah. I'm a bauble on the Christmas tree of your friendship tower. Wendy Harmer: Indeed. Jean Kittson: Oh no. Well, I'm very proud to be your friend, that's for sure. Thank you both so much. I've learned a lot and I'm gonna ring up some friends now… And thank you for sharing your stories of friendship too. Thanks, Wendy. Thanks, Tim. Wendy Harmer: You're welcome. Thank you, Jean. Dr Happy: Thank you. Jean Kittson: Thanks. Thank you to Wendy Harmer and Dr Tim Sharp. You've been listening to DARE: The time of your life, brought to you by Australian seniors. Please leave a review and share this show with someone you know. Visit seniors.com au slash podcast for more episodes. Thank you. Goodbye.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your "narcissistic mother" is almost never a narcissist. She is something the rest of YouTube has no language for, and naming it correctly is the only thing that gives you a real shot at getting free.If you have spent years collecting evidence, watching every Dr. Ramani video, and still feel stuck despite finally having a label that explains her behavior, this video is going to land different. You will see why every narcissistic abuse framework identifies the behavior on the surface and never identifies the architecture underneath, and why that gap has kept you in a kind of healing that has no door at the other end.This video walks you through the Worst Day Cycle™, the Authentic Self Cycle™, and the Emotional Authenticity Method™ as applied to the mother-adult-child dynamic, with the Desert vs Denver diagnostic that lets you finally tell the difference between true narcissism and what Kenny Weiss calls the falsely empowered codependent. You will see how enmeshment overwrote your operating system, why setting a boundary with her feels like committing a crime, what the Loyalty Bind is, and the six-step somatic and emotional process that interrupts the collapse in real time.The "narcissistic mother" is almost never a narcissist. She is a falsely empowered codependent, a wounded child in a suit of armor she has been welding on since she was five years old, and the distinction matters because one of these can heal and the other almost never can. The narcissist is the desert, the same weather every day, no buried wound to reach. The falsely empowered codependent is Denver, the weather changes, and the warm days, the real remorse, the genuine apologies are evidence of an Authentic Self that the narcissist does not have.Enmeshment is not closeness. Enmeshment is identity colonization. The mother who used you for emotional intimacy, image management, and ego fulfillment did not just cross your boundaries, she overwrote your entire internal operating system. The Loyalty Bind, the contract your nervous system signed at age five that says if I choose myself I betray her, if I betray her I lose love, if I lose love I die, is why setting a limit with her feels like committing a crime in your body. That contract expired the day you became a functioning adult, but nobody told your nervous system. The withdrawal is real, and it passes.TOPICS COVERED: narcissistic mother, falsely empowered codependent, dr ramani alternative, enmeshment, identity colonization, loyalty bind, codependence spectrum, mother daughter relationship, mother son relationship, kenny weiss, worst day cycle, authentic self cycle, emotional authenticity method, desert vs denver, narcissist or codependent, signs of enmeshment, parentified child, adult child of narcissist00:00 — Why Your Mother Is Probably Not a Narcissist01:30 — Kenny's Safeway Memory at Age Six03:30 — The Real Cultural Epidemic Nobody Names06:00 — Desert vs Denver, The Diagnostic Nobody Else Uses09:00 — The Over-Armored Knight Underneath the Mother Mask11:30 — The Worst Day Cycle™ Running Inside Her14:00 — Enmeshment as Identity Colonization16:00 — The Loyalty Bind and Why Boundaries Feel Like a Crime18:00 — Why the Distinction Decides Whether Healing Is Possible20:00 — The Authentic Self Cycle™ Applied to Your Mother21:30 — The Six-Step Emotional Authenticity Method™ in Real Time23:30 — Three Voices, One Microphone, One Boundary Script24:30 — Why Dr. Ramani Style Frameworks Cannot Touch This25:30 — Identity Close

This Dhamma talk was offered on May 1, 2026 at Abhayagiri Buddhist Monastery.

This podcast discusses enmeshment and how it is a form of idolatry known in the Bible as the pride of life.www.CynthiaBaileyRug.com

Enmeshment is a parenting style society mischaracterizes as love. In this video, Kenny Weiss explains how enmeshed families dissolve the boundaries between parent and child, turning the child into an emotional caretaker, confidant, and surrogate spouse before they can even tie their shoes.If you grew up as the responsible one, the peacekeeper, the emotional shock absorber, and you still can't understand why you're exhausted and resentful in your adult relationships, this video connects the dots. Enmeshment creates two types of codependence: the disempowered (people-pleaser, frozen, helpless) and the falsely empowered (super-achiever, hyper-controlling). Both are survival persona formations built to maintain attachment to caregivers. Your childhood did not teach you how to love. It taught you how to disappear.Kenny Weiss teaches that enmeshment follows the Worst Day Cycle™, a four-stage pattern of trauma, fear, shame, and denial installed in the first seven years of life while the brain is in theta wave state. The enmeshed child who was the emotional caretaker becomes the love addict in adult relationships, chasing connection because childhood taught them love must be earned through performing. The enmeshed child who was engulfed becomes the love avoidant, pulling away from intimacy because closeness means being consumed. Neither partner is responding to the present moment. Both are replaying childhood.The Emotional Authenticity Method™ is the six-step process that heals enmeshment at the level where it was installed: the nervous system and emotional blueprint. It begins with somatic down-regulation, moves through identifying the real feeling underneath the guilt and obligation, locating it in the body, tracing it to its childhood origin, connecting with the Authentic Self, and Feelization, the step that builds a new emotional addiction to replace the old enmeshment blueprint.Kenny Weiss is a relationship, communication, and childhood trauma recovery specialist and the creator of the Worst Day Cycle™, the Authentic Self Cycle™, and the Emotional Authenticity Method™. He has spent over two decades helping high-functioning, emotionally exhausted adults break free from repeating patterns of codependence, enmeshment, shutdown, and self-abandonment. His work integrates neuroscience-backed somatic practices with proprietary emotional blueprint mapping to create lasting transformation at the nervous system level.TOPICS COVERED: enmeshment, enmeshed family, parentification, emotional incest, enmeshment trauma, codependency, love addict love avoidant0:00 — The Phone Call That Drops Your Stomach1:30 — What Enmeshment Actually Is and Why Society Celebrates It3:00 — The Facebook Mom Who Moved Into Her Daughter's College4:15 — How Enmeshment Installs Through the Worst Day Cycle6:00 — The Two Survival Personas Enmeshment Creates7:30 — Love Addict and Love Avoidant: The Blueprint Collision9:00 — Why Boundaries, Therapy, and Communication Skills Never Stuck10:30 — The Emotional Authenticity Method: Six Steps for Enmeshment13:00 — Is a Six-Year-Old About to Pick Up the Phone?

Enmeshment happens when your role as a practitioner turns into emotional over-responsibility, and suddenly your worth feels tied to your patients' progress.   Five Strategies to Break Free from Enmeshment 10:29 Set Clear Boundaries 12:59 Encourage Patient Autonomy 16:13 Create Structured Treatment Plans 18:48 Regularly Evaluate Your Practice 23:25 Prioritize Self-Care Links Catalyst Studio Brainstorming Session Select Your FREE Gift Take this Quiz!   Connect with Lara:  Website The Catalyst Way YouTube Instagram  Facebook LinkedIn TikTok     Podcast production and show notes provided by The Catalyst Way

On the episode this week: Aaron sounds oddly familiar.   Aaron talks to guest Dr. Ken Adams. As the expert, Ken answers the age old question: “what is Enmeshment?”. Do you have challenges with control, identity, long term commitment, working too much, affairs, eating disorders, and more? You aren't alone, 50% of people have similar challenges in enmeshment. Find out possible reasons why and how to overcome them on this episode.   Links: Overcoming Enmeshment   Books: Silently Seduced, by: Ken Adams When He's Married to Mom, by: Ken Adams   Walk With Me: Staying Human in an Age of Artificial Companions, by: Nate Larkin   NEW Samson Community App (Apple store) NEW Samson Community App (Google Store) June 5-7, 2026 Italian/International Samson Retreat Oct 23-25, 2026 U.S. Samson Summit   Send mail to: Pirate Monk Podcast/Samson House PO BOX 1656 Columbia, TN 38402   If you have thoughts or questions and you'd like the guys to address in upcoming episodes or suggestions for future guests, please drop a note to piratemonkpodcast@gmail.com.     The music on this podcast is contributed by members of the Samson Society.   For more information on this ministry, please visit samsonsociety.com.  Support for the women in our lives who have been impacted by our choices is available at sarahsociety.com.   The Pirate Monk Podcast is provided by Samson Society, a ministry of Samson House, a 501(c)3 nonprofit. To enjoy future Pirate Monk podcasts, please consider a contribution to Samson House.

ResourcesApply for 1:1 Business MentorshipWork with Dani: TikTok | Instagram | WebsiteRepurpose Ai: Streamline your content creation and repurpose effortlessly with ⁠Repurpose Ai⁠.Later Content Scheduling: Simplify your social media strategy with ⁠Later⁠.Flodesk: Elevate your email marketing with Flodesk – get 50% off your first year using ⁠this link⁠.Other Resources:Submit a question to be featured on the podcast and receive live coaching! Send a voice note or fill out the⁠ question form⁠.Where To Find Us:Instagram:⁠ @sigma.wmn⁠TikTok:⁠ @sigma.wmn⁠Newsletter:⁠ Subscribe here⁠Threads:⁠ @sigma.wmn⁠Vitality is often overlooked in conversations about health. Instead of focusing on building energy and resilience, many approaches centre on fixing symptoms once something has already gone wrong. In this episode, naturopath Dani May shares her perspective on why vitality should be the starting point for wellbeing.Dani explains how energetic alignment shows up in her naturopathic practice and how supporting the nervous system, creative expression and daily energy levels can change how women experience both health and work. The conversation also explores the emotional side of running a wellbeing practice, including separating your identity from your business and developing resilience when things feel personal.You'll also hear about Dani's path to creating her own voice in naturopathy, why structure can support creative freedom, and how building simple systems in business can give practitioners more space to focus on what they care about most.Tune in to hear:Why focusing on vitality can support long-term wellbeing more than constantly trying to fix problems.What energetic alignment looks like within a naturopathic practice.How systems and structure can give creative women more space and freedom in their work.Find the Complete Show Notes Here → ⁠https://sigmawmn.com/podcast⁠In This Episode, You'll Learn:Why vitality and nervous system support are essential foundations for wellbeing.How separating your identity from your business helps build emotional resilience.Why structure and systems often support creativity rather than restrict it.Themes & Time Stamps:00:00 - Introduction & Getting to Know Dani02:31 - Cultivating Vitality vs. Fixing Problems05:27 - Why Structures & Systems Create Freedom for Creatives06:56 - Dani's Highest Value for 2026: Creative Expression08:14 - Hot Take: Why The Artist's Way May Be Self-Sabotaging10:37 - Using Your Business as a Creative Outlet (And Why It Hurts)16:08 - Enmeshment, Reactivity & Emotional Resilience in Business19:24 - Dani's Unique Flavour of Naturopathy & Energetic Alignment22:12 - What Energetic Alignment Means in Practice23:08 - Cutting Through the Noise: Honouring Your Own Truth25:36 - Why Vitality Matters More Than Just "Fixing" Health Issues27:40 - Replenishing Your Reserves & Nervous System Work30:41 - What Dani Wishes Her Clients Would Stop Doing33:28 - What Dani Gained from Aligned Business Coaching35:34 - How Structure Creates Spaciousness for Creatives38:20 - The Aura Ring Experiment: Why "Flow Days" Are Stressful40:04 - TikTok vs. Instagram for Health & Wellness Businesses44:00 - Dropping the Ego & Going Where Your Clients Are45:07 - Why You Should Start Business Coaching Before You're Ready47:13 - Best First Step to Work with Dani

Melisa and Alli talk how dating looks today compared to 25 years ago before smart phones encouraged near constant contact. We also address how to approach dating multiple people and how to avoid moving too quickly. Send us a DM on Instagram to pitch yourself or your friend! Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/lesbian-chronicles-coming-out-later-in-life--5601514/support.

In this insightful episode of the Secret Life Podcast, host Brianne Davis-Gantt dives deep into the complexities of enmeshed sibling relationships. She explores how the bonds between brothers and sisters can sometimes blur the lines of individuality, leading to an unhealthy dynamic where one sibling feels responsible for the other's emotions and choices. Brianne sheds light on the signs of enmeshment, including feelings of guilt when making independent decisions and the pressure to maintain constant contact.Through personal anecdotes and expert insights, Brianne illustrates how these relationships often stem from childhood experiences where healthy emotional boundaries were lacking. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing these patterns and taking steps toward healing and independence. Listeners will learn practical strategies to untangle from enmeshment, including fostering self-awareness, tolerating discomfort, and rebuilding their identities outside of their sibling roles.This episode is a vital listen for anyone navigating the intricacies of sibling relationships, particularly those feeling the weight of emotional entanglement. Join Brianne as she encourages you to embrace your individuality while maintaining a loving connection with your siblings, proving that true closeness does not require control.

Do you feel setting a boundary with your narcissistic mother would mean you don't care for her? Or that it would make you a bad daughter? Does that result in you silently taking abuse after abuse all in the name of caring for her? One of the things I get told very often is: I'm not able to set boundaries because I care for her too much.Something that is often assumed is that setting a boundary (which could go all the way to no contact or not) means you don't care about your mother. The thing is: you can still care, but you don't have to take the abuse.We end up mixing caring and remaining silent in the face of abuse because as "good daughters" we feel we need to be responsible for our mother's emotionality. Her emotionality is not and never should have been your responsibility. Feeling responsible for your narcissistic mother emotionality is a result of enmeshment.  In this episode I share 3 steps to break the pattern of enmeshment and reclaim your own life. Your mother is not the protagonist in your life, YOU ARE!Enmeshment with my narcissistic family nearly broke my marriage. If you want to know what helped us going through hell and coming out stronger than ever listen to this new episode of THE HE WANTS SHE WANTS MARRIAGE PODCASTHosted by Mark usher & Matilde Crocini - Relationship & Intimacy Experts

You grew up learning how to read a room before you learned how to read a book. You learned to stay quiet. To manage emotions that weren't yours. To keep the peace so you'd stay safe. And now you're wondering why your relationships feel heavy, why boundaries feel terrifying, and why you tolerate more than you ever should. Imagine understanding why you feel responsible for everyone else's emotions. Imagine finally putting down the invisible backpack you've been carrying your whole life. Imagine choosing yourself without drowning in guilt. In this episode, we're diving deep into enmeshment, codependency, and emotionally immature family systems — and how these childhood dynamics follow us straight into adulthood, romantic relationships, and even motherhood. This conversation will crack things open if you've ever felt like: The truth teller in your family The "good girl" who kept everything together The one who gets blamed for rocking the boat In this episode, you'll learn how to: ✔️ Identify enmeshment vs. codependency — and how each one shows up in your body and behavior ✔️ Understand hero child vs. scapegoat child roles and how they shape adult relationships ✔️ Stop managing emotions that were never yours to carry ✔️ Recognize why chronic defensiveness erodes connection over time ✔️ Set boundaries without shrinking yourself or over-explaining You're not broken. You adapted to survive. And now you get to choose something healthier.   LINKS: Repair Guide for the Woman Taught to Keep the Peace https://breathworkcollective.myflodesk.com/repair-guide-for-women Free Empower YOU Breathwork: https://breathworkcollective.myflodesk.com/empower-breathwork   Boundary Babe Academy: https://the-breathwork-collective.circle.so/checkout/boundary-mastery  Follow My Journey: https://www.instagram.com/its.amandaclark/ The Supported Woman Group Transformation Experience: http://amandaclark.biz/supported-woman-group-coaching   

In this episode, I explore what it really takes to break free from the relationship patterns that keep us stuck—with trained educator and relationship expert Stefanos Sifandos. With a background in behavioral science, trauma, and somatics, Stefanos brings a grounded, embodied perspective to the way we love, attach, and relate to ourselves and others.We unpack how early experiences and unprocessed trauma quietly shape our nervous systems, our choices, and the dynamics we recreate in intimate relationships. Stefanos explains why awareness alone isn't enough, and how lasting change requires working with the body—not just the mind—to rewire safety, trust, and emotional regulation. If you've ever found yourself repeating the same cycles despite years of “knowing better,” this conversation sheds light on why that happens and what actually helps shift it.We also talk about self-leadership, emotional responsibility, and what it means to cultivate a healthier sense of self without bypassing the discomfort that growth often demands. Stefanos shares practical insights on boundaries, communication, and how to meet conflict as an opportunity for deeper connection rather than something to avoid or dominate.This episode is an invitation to relate more consciously to your partner, your past, and yourself. If you're committed to personal growth, healing relational wounds, and stepping into your highest potential with honesty and integrity, this conversation offers both clarity and depth.Order Stefanos' book, Tuned In and Turned On: A Path to True Connection, Deep Healing, and Lasting Love, at tunedinandturnedonbook.com.DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for educational purposes only and not intended for diagnosing or treating illnesses. The hosts disclaim responsibility for any adverse effects from using the information presented. Consult your healthcare provider before using referenced products. This podcast may include paid endorsements.THIS SHOW IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY:BON CHARGE | Use the code LIFESTYLIST for 15% off at boncharge.com/lifestylistQUANTUM UPGRADE | Start your 15-day free trial at lukestorey.com/quantumupgradeFOUR SIGMATIC | Get a free bag of their bestselling mushroom coffee at foursigmatic.com/lukeLVLUP HEALTH | Get 15% off with code LUKE15 at lukestorey.com/lvlupMORE ABOUT THIS EPISODE:(00:00:00) Place, Memory, and the Moment Everything Broke Open(00:20:03) How Childhood Wounds Shape Our Adult Relationships(00:33:33) Codependency, the Nervous System, and the Real Work of Intimacy(01:14:34) Celibacy, Solitude, and Rebuilding Self-Worth from the Inside Out(01:45:15) Body Shame, Transparency, and Emotional Responsibility in Relationship(02:10:35) The Mother Wound, Enmeshment, and Integrating Growth(02:32:58) Integrity, Service, and the Inner Conflict Around Being Paid to HelpResources:• Website: stefanossifandos.com• Instagram:

Are You Tired of Shrinking Yourself Just to Keep the Peace?Beloved,Do you ever notice yourself orbiting around someone else's mood—adjusting, fine-tuning, quietly making yourself smaller so things stay comfortable?Is there a tender ache inside you… a longing to be chosen? To be someone's priority without having to earn it through over-giving, fixing, or disappearing?And at the same time, does a small voice whisper: What if my needs are too much?This Isn't a Flaw—It's a Survival PatternThese feelings aren't random. They're signals from your nervous system, rooted in something deeper than this lifetime.You carry invisible agreements—soul contracts formed long ago when you learned that love required self-abandonment. Codependency is the word we use, but energetically, it looks like cords and hooks that whisper: My worth depends on how well I manage others.These patterns often began in childhood, in environments heavy with unspoken needs, instability, or emotional chaos. You learned to stay safe by becoming hyper-attuned to everyone else.What Once Protected You Is Now Keeping You StuckWhen your nervous system wired itself to anticipate danger, silence your truth, or become responsible for someone else's emotions, it required a kind of forgetting—a forgetting of your original sovereignty.Even now, as you crave real connection, you might find yourself stuck in the same painful loop:* Is it safe to be seen in my full intensity?* Will I be “too much” if I ask for reciprocal care?* Can I actually rest inside relationship without vanishing?Love, I know this heaviness and low vibe feeling. And I also know it doesn't have to stay this way.So, perhaps the answer is yes. And there is work we can do together.You Were Never Meant to Disappear in Order to Be LovedThrough the Light Between Oracle, I'll walk beside you as we release the energetic contracts formed in moments of fear, confusion, or self-erasure.Using sacred technologies—unconscious contract clearing, channeling from your Higher Self, and attunement to your Light Body's intelligence—we begin restoring what your nervous system forgot.Together, we will:* Listen compassionately to the younger parts of you who believed love required smallness* Witness and clear the energetic hooks still binding you to past dynamics* Rewrite the vows that say “I must fix others to stay connected”* Restore sovereignty to your field—so you belong first to yourselfThis work is subtle, but it reverberates. Once a soul remembers its center, it doesn't easily forget again.You're Not Too Much. You're Coming Home.You were born to be loved for who you are—not for how well you manage, fix, or disappear.You are simply returning to the full frequency of who you were always meant to be: Whole. Expressed. Guided. Sovereign.Your Invitation to Step Back Into YourselfIf your heart stirred reading this, you're ready. Not because you've hit a breaking point, but because some quiet part of you knows it's time to come home.I'm waiting for you inside the Light Between Oracle app.There, you'll receive Personal Bespoke Readings crafted specifically for your energetic signature, alongside guided practices to clear your field, recalibrate your nervous system, and activate your Light Body.This isn't dependency. It's devotion—to your clarity, your healing, your divine remembrance.Allow me to walk with you.Open The Light Between Oracle now and step onto the path of sacred reclamation.With devotion,With love and order in your energy,Yours truly,Kassandra, co-creator with - EmpathicaP.S. I hope you'll join me so we can work through the stress held in your body—helping your heart and mind move through this changing world with peace.Go to thelightbetweenoracle.com This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thelightbetween.substack.com/subscribe

This week, Jake and Bob reflect on a few topics that were discussed during a recent "Holy Desire" Priest's retreat with the JPII Healing Center. They discuss the connection between communion with God and the removal of pain, how woundedness redirects good desires, and why coping strategies are not usually virtuous. Jake and Bob also answer a few questions received from priests at the retreat, such as—Am I using wounds as an excuse for sin? What is the difference between soul ties and enmeshment? And should I share my wounds with my parents?   Key Points: Healing is best understood as an ongoing encounter with God's love that restores communion and is not simply the removal of pain. Pain relief can be a fruit of healing, but it should never become the primary goal over intimacy with God. Broken communion is the reason we experience pain. Wounds often lead us to develop maladaptive responses that we mistakenly elevate into "virtues." Holy desires naturally draw us toward love and communion with God and others. When wounds and vows press down on holy desires, those desires often emerge sideways as disordered desires. Disordered desires are not evil at their core but are distorted expressions of something originally good. Enmeshment reflects a lack of healthy differentiation and often develops within family systems. Soul ties are distorted bonds that form through sin, wounds, or misplaced dependency. Learning to recognize the good desire beneath another's behavior transforms how we relate to them. Love grows when we respond to a person's holy desire rather than reacting to their maladaptive behavior. Discernment, timing, and freedom of heart are essential when considering sharing one's wounds with parents.   Resources: Principles of Catholic Theology by Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger Holy Desire Workbook (In the dropdown menu select the "Workbook" as the type) Rick and Dick Hoyt Video Deadly Wounds and Holy Desires Chart   Chapters: 00:00 Introduction 06:34 What does "I Experienced Healing" Mean? 13:40 Can the Way I Cope with a Wound Actually be a Virtue? 18:42 How are Disordered Desires Formed? 29:36 How Do I Find the Holy Desire Behind My Sin? 35:55 Am I Treating Woundedness as an Excuse for Sin? 42:54 What is the Difference Between a Soul Tie and Enmeshment? 51:07 Should I Share My Wounds with My Parents?   Connect with Restore the Glory:  Instagram: @restoretheglorypodcast  Twitter: @RestoreGloryPod Facebook: Restore the Glory Podcast   Never miss out on an episode by hitting the subscribe button right now! Help other people find the show and grow in holiness by sharing this podcast with them individually or on your social media. Thanks!

Do you consider yourself GenX? Do you know someone who was born between 1965-1980? Don't miss this episode inspired by a TikTok on “The Top GenX Blindspots”. Whoa! For me, and many midlife women, these are things we learned to do to survive in a system where our emotional and mental needs weren't met. We were pretty ingenious actually, one might even say, warrior like! Yet, as adults, these adaptive, protective strategies become maladaptive and hurt us and our relationships. Join me as I explain how the way we were raised might be quietly sabotaging our emotional wellbeing and the health of our relationships. If you have ever wondered why you say you are fine when you are not, why you push your own needs aside, or why you feel responsible for everyone around you, this episode will help so much. And I don't leave you hanging - after listening, you'll have some simple strategies to help you care for yourself, connect more deeply, and begin shifting patterns that have been in place for decades. This episode is the perfect starting point as we begin a new year and move toward February's relationship healing work in the Love Your Life School. Join me, fellow GenX woman, as I look at three hidden patterns that are probably playing out in your relationships and affecting your mental health. If you liked this show, you'll love these two: Learned helplessness on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/274-overfunctioning-and-learned-helplessness/id1434429161?i=1000634097009 Learned helplessness on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/4MF4IJSaVSMpfNhRAb7wyN?si=JuwR8qQnRiydi4fKDz1UDw Enmeshment interview with Dr. Kate Balestrieri on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/enmeshment-codependency-with-dr-kate-balestrieri/id1434429161?i=1000733979384 Enmeshment interview with Dr. Kate Balestrieri on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/6WMOkGaEpLNHcmvF0W5JTa?si=kMALGFXuTQWzb-oFH5qDGQ Get the full show notes here

The first episode of the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries will be released on February 14, 2026. Through this four part series, you will meet four Neurodiverse couples who share some of their lived experiences, lessons learned and the strengths, challenges and differences they've had in their marriages. None of the couples knew they were in a mixed neurotype relationship when they married and each shares some of the experiences that have led to more connection, understanding and acceptance of each other's differences.In addition, you will hear from three coaches/therapists who work with Neurodiverse couples. They share their perspective on why challenges may be occurring and also provide strategies and tools for increasing connection.To contribute to this very important project or to learn more about the docuseries click here.——————————————————————————During this episode you will hear another presentation from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference. Greg Fuqua reviews the most common and important dynamic patterns he sees in ND relationships. He also reviews ways of empowering healthier patterns of growth and understanding in ND couples. More specifically GRE addresses the following topics:ADHDer's and Autistics; The magnetism of ND polarities;Emotional Dynamics;Enmeshment vs Ownership;Co-regulation vs Self-regulation;Pursuer/avoidant; Communication Dynamics;Nuanced vs Literal;Emotional Content/Context vs Factual and Logistical Content.Greg Fuqua is a Licensed Mental Health Therapist (LMHC) in the state of Iowa and runs Divergent Counseling, Coaching and Consulting LLC that supports neurodiverse couples, neurodivergent issues, therapists and others nationwide/worldwide through counseling, trainings, consultations and coaching. He is a certified Autism Spectrum Disorder Clinical Specialist (ASDCS); a level 2 trained Neurodiverse Couples Therapist and identifies as autistic himself. Greg has appeared as a special guest and 2-time season co-host of the “Neurodiverse Love” Podcast and he is the Co-host of the “Neurodivergent Connections” YouTube channel with Mona Kay and Scott Simpson. Greg specializes in working with Autistics, ADHDers and neurotypes of all kinds, including Neurodiverse (ND) Couples, ND families, transgender and LGBTQ clients and DID, OSDD or plurality/multiplicity in clients. Greg is a trauma informed therapist and an Internal Family Systems (IFS) practitioner. You can learn more about Greg at: https://www.gregfuqua.com——————————————————————————If you would like to buy unlimited access to all 30+ video sessions from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference click here and use code Podcast50 to get $50 off. With your purchase you will also get these FREE BONUSES: unlimited access to the 27 video sessions from the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference, the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards and Workbook. If you have any questions or need additional information please email: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2870: Dr. Margaret Rutherford explores the hidden emotional toll of enmeshment, when a parent relies too heavily on their child for emotional support and identity. She reveals how this dynamic stifles independence, breeds guilt, and leaves adult children struggling with boundaries, self-trust, and autonomy, while also offering guidance on how to break the cycle and heal. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://drmargaretrutherford.com/when-a-parent-needs-too-much-what-is-enmeshment-and-how-does-it-hurt-a-child/ Quotes to ponder: “If the parent represses the girl's (or boy's) anger not just once but over and over again, a deeper injury occurs: the girl will eventually dismantle her anger response." “When the child reaches adulthood, they can be stricken by guilt for simply wanting and needing their own life.” “Your task is to build your own sense of identity, while learning to share in healthy supportive relationships.” Episode references: Educated: https://www.amazon.com/Educated-Memoir-Tara-Westover/dp/0399590501 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2870: Dr. Margaret Rutherford explores the hidden emotional toll of enmeshment, when a parent relies too heavily on their child for emotional support and identity. She reveals how this dynamic stifles independence, breeds guilt, and leaves adult children struggling with boundaries, self-trust, and autonomy, while also offering guidance on how to break the cycle and heal. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://drmargaretrutherford.com/when-a-parent-needs-too-much-what-is-enmeshment-and-how-does-it-hurt-a-child/ Quotes to ponder: "If the parent represses the girl's (or boy's) anger not just once but over and over again, a deeper injury occurs: the girl will eventually dismantle her anger response." "When the child reaches adulthood, they can be stricken by guilt for simply wanting and needing their own life." "Your task is to build your own sense of identity, while learning to share in healthy supportive relationships." Episode references: Educated: https://www.amazon.com/Educated-Memoir-Tara-Westover/dp/0399590501

Whitney brings on Amanda White from Therapy for Women to react to the most requested show from her audience, you guessed it: Gilmore Girls. They break down season one, episode 18 "The Third Lorelai," analyzing the dynamic between four generations of women—Emily, Lorelai, and Rory plus the chaotic arrival of Emily's mother-in-law Trix. Even if you haven't seen Gilmore Girls or this episode, Whitney and Amanda explore the universal experiences of being controlled by a matriarch, how emotional distance in one generation can create enmeshment in the next which in turn can cause estrangement in the next, and the weaponization of money and gifts in family dynamics.Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles.Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.coAmanda's website: https://therapyforwomencenter.com/therapist/amanda-e-white-lpc/Therapy for Women IG: https://www.instagram.com/therapyforwomencenterJoin the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhitFollow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft⁠⁠Order Whitney's book, Toxic PositivityLearn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoicesThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.04:00 Scene 1: Emily loses control when her mother-in-law visits07:12 Scene 2: Money as connection and control23:04 Scene 3: Weaponizing gifts and criticism440:54 Scene 4: Lorelai's insecurity49:21 The dinner table scale Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Camille U. Adams joins Let's Talk Memoir for a conversation about generations of mothers choosing to unmother their children, colonial violence in Trinidad and Tobago, stifling relationships, cognitive dissonance, finding the psychological, emotional, and geographical distance we need, narcissism and the golden child, not wanting to tell the story we ultimately find a way to tell, being a poet first, retracting and pulling back to get close to ourselves and write, exigence in memoir, going no contact with family, cocooning ourselves, finding support systems that work, getting into literary magazines, how content creates form, and her 300-page poem How To Be Unmothered: a Trinidadian memoir. Info/Registration for Ronit's 10-Week Memoir Class Memoir Writing: Finding Your Story https://www.pce.uw.edu/courses/memoir-writing-finding-your-story   Also in this episode: -the narcissist's nest -using elements of fiction -trusting yourself   Books mentioned in this episode: -Thick and Other Essays by Dr. Tressie McMillam Cottom -Ordinary Girls by Jaquira Diaz -Brother, I'm Dying by Edwidge Danticat -Men We Reaped by Jesmyn Ward -The Dragon Can't Dance by Earl Lovelace -The Hurting Kind by Ada Limon   Dr. Camille U. Adams is a writer from Trinidad and Tobago. Camille is the author of the memoir, How To Be Unmothered: a Trinidadian memoir, released August 2025 with Restless Books. Her manuscript was recognised as a finalist in the Restless Books Prize in New Immigrant Writing 2023. Camille earned her MFA in Poetry from City College, CUNY and a Ph.D. in Creative Nonfiction from FSU. She has been awarded Best of The Net - nonfiction 2024, and has received five Pushcart Prize nominations, three Best of the Net nominations, and recognition for a notable essay in Best American Essays 2022. Among Camille's awarded fellowships is an inaugural Tin House Reading Fellowship, an inaugural Granta nature writing workshop fellowship, an inaugural Anaphora Arts Italy Writing Retreat Fellowship, a McKnight Doctoral Fellowship, a Community of Writers Erica Ellner Memorial Scholarship, and a Roots Wounds Words Fellowship. Additionally, Camille is a Tin House alum and has received support from Kenyon Writers Workshop, VONA, and others. She has served as a juried reader for Tin House for two consecutive years, as a CNF editor at Variant Lit, and as an assistant editor at Split Lip Magazine and at The Account. Camille currently lives in Brooklyn where she teaches and is hard at work on book two.    Connect with Camille: Website: www.camilleuadams.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/camille_u_adams Twitter: https://x.com/camille_u_adams Threads: https://www.threads.com/@camille_u_adams Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/camilleuadams.bsky.social   – Ronit's writing has appeared in The Atlantic, The Rumpus, The New York Times, Poets & Writers, The Iowa Review, Hippocampus, The Washington Post, Writer's Digest, American Literary Review, and elsewhere. Her memoir WHEN SHE COMES BACK about the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation was named Finalist in the 2021 Housatonic Awards Awards, the 2021 Indie Excellence Awards, and was a 2021 Book Riot Best True Crime Book. Her short story collection HOME IS A MADE-UP PLACE won Hidden River Arts' 2020 Eludia Award and the 2023 Page Turner Awards for Short Stories.  She earned an MFA in Nonfiction Writing at Pacific University, is Creative Nonfiction Editor at The Citron Review, and teaches memoir through the University of Washington's Online Continuum Program and also independently. She launched Let's Talk Memoir in 2022, lives in Seattle with her family of people and dogs, and is at work on her next book.   More about Ronit: https://ronitplank.com Subscribe to Ronit's Substack: https://substack.com/@ronitplank   Follow Ronit: https://www.instagram.com/ronitplank/ https://www.facebook.com/RonitPlank https://bsky.app/profile/ronitplank.bsky.social

In this reflection I use an email that I received a few days ago to expand the conversation around interpersonal conflict.  Supporting themes:  Enmeshment; Epistemic equality; AI analysis.   Typology:  INTJ; Enneagram 8; ISFJ; ISFP; INFP.  

Today's podcast explains the dynamics of being in a marriage damaged by family enmeshment, and offers encouragement for the non-enmeshed spouse in this situation.(Please pardon the unusual voice. I use a voice cloner because I have some physical issues with my voice and this time (along with a few others) it surprised me with someone else's voice entirely..LOL I thought her voice sounded nice so I decided to leave it.)www.CynthiaBaileyRug.com

Wondering if your mother-in-law is just “a lot,” or if you're actually dealing with a truly toxic mother-in-law situation? You are so not the only one lying awake replaying her comments and wondering what to do when this relationship feels way too involved in your marriage and family. In this episode, we're talking about how a toxic mother-in-law dynamic starts to erode your sense of safety at home. Dr. Tracy Dalgleish - clinical psychologist, couples therapist, and author of You, Your Husband and His Mother - joins me to talk honestly about what happens when your partner is still emotionally tied to his mom, you're trying to build a healthy new family, and you keep getting caught in the middle. We look at why some moms struggle to let go, why so many women end up over-functioning for everyone, and why so many men freeze or minimize when it's time to set boundaries with a toxic mother-in-law… and then we talk about what you can do: becoming a united “vault” as a couple, setting real boundaries instead of endless “requests,” and getting clear on your options when the dynamic with your mother-in-law is starting to feel unbearable. Here's how we walk through it together: 00:00 Why Mother-in-Law Conflicts Hurt Communication and Connection 03:14 Dr. Tracy's Story and Why She Wrote “You, Your Husband and His Mother” 05:24 Mother–Son Bonds, Gender Roles, and the Roots of Toxic Mother-in-Law Dynamics 11:03 Unhealthy Family Patterns: Control, Enmeshment, and Emotional Caretaking of Mom 20:56 Overfunctioning Wives, Underfunctioning Husbands, and the Mother–Child Dynamic 24:39 The VAULT Method: Becoming a United Couple and Setting Boundaries with In-Laws 30:48 Requests vs Boundaries: What Really Works with a Toxic Mother-in-Law 51:41 Change, Accept, or Leave: Your Choices in a Toxic Mother-in-Law Situation If this stirs up a very specific conversation with your partner (or a replay of your last holiday with his mom) and your chest tightens a little, I have something for exactly that moment. My Communication That Connects training walks you through the evidence-based do's and don'ts of communication that actually creates understanding instead of more defensiveness and hurt. I'll help you get clear about the real issues under your fights, give you a framework you can start using right away with your partner, and walk you step-by-step through how to have hard conversations in a way that protects your emotional bond instead of tearing it down. And if you're at the point where you're thinking, “I don't want to keep holding this all together by myself,” I would be genuinely honored to support you more directly. At Growing Self, you can privately tell us what's going on with your marriage, your mother-in-law, your family, and we'll help you connect with the right therapist or coach on my team. It's a simple, secure way to raise your hand and say, “Here's what I'm struggling with, please point me to the right person.” You can start that process anytime by scheduling a consultation. You deserve a family life that feels safe, sane, and loving, even if your extended family is… a lot.

This podcast offers tips for victims of enmeshed, emotionally incestuous parents to help them heal.(Please pardon the unusual voice. I use a voice cloner because I have some physical issues with my voice and this time (along with a few others) it surprised me with someone else's voice entirely..LOL I thought her voice sounded nice so I decided to leave it.)www.CynthiaBaileyRug.com

Are you struggling to set boundaries with a parent?  Do you feel responsible for other people's emotions?  Are you having trouble breaking free from codependent behavior? Well great news….you might be experiencing enmeshment! Enmeshment and enmeshment trauma can deeply affect your sense of self, your peace, and your current relationships. In this episode of the Love Your Life Show, I sit down with expert Dr. Kate Balestrieri, to break down: - What enmeshment and enmeshment trauma really are - How it shows up in families, divorces, and romantic relationships - Red flags that you might be stuck in an enmeshed dynamic - How to begin healing and individuating (even if this has been your “normal” for years) - How to be the CYCLE BREAKER

Listen to my Morning Monologue: I'm sharing my take on pressing issues, enlightening research on human behavior, answering questions I get by email, and my favorite, most instructive interactions with callers. Everything you'll hear is designed to help you become a better spouse, parent, family member, co-worker, friend, and human being. It's the free therapy you need! Call 1-800-DR-LAURA / 1-800-375-2872 or make an appointment at DrLaura.comFollow me on social media:Facebook.com/DrLauraInstagram.com/DrLauraProgramYouTube.com/DrLauraJoin My Family!!Receive my Weekly Newsletter + 20% off my Marriage 101 course & 25% off Merch! Sign up now, it's FREE!Each week you'll get new articles, featured emails from listeners, special event invitations, early access to my Dr. Laura Designs Store benefiting Children of Fallen Patriots, and MORE! Sign up at DrLaura.com Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Those of us with children understand there is no parenting blueprint or path to “get it right” all the time. This can lead us to shy away from offering empathy as we become afraid of enabling poor behavior or stealing opportunities for them to build resilience. Yet it's empathy — even imperfect empathy — that empowers us to help our children through grace and truth.  Tune in for this episode of Soul Talks as Kristi chats with Briana about some empathy challenges in parenting and how to bounce back when you miss the mark. You'll learn practical tools to care for your children through empathy in a way that helps them rise to the challenge of growth and independence. And this is helpful in all of our closest relationships — not just with kids! Resources for this Episode:Deeply Loved: Receiving and Reflecting God's Great Empathy for YouSecure: Letters From Papa to Help Moms Nurture Their Child's DevelopmentDonate to Support Soul Shepherding and Soul Talks

Some friendships look godly — but they're actually enmeshment in disguise. In this episode of The Yellow Podcast, EK sits down with her friend Anne-Loïs Mbombo for a deep and honest conversation on the perversion of godly friendship.Together, they unpack what enmeshment really is, how it forms, and why it distorts the beauty of biblical friendship. From blurred boundaries to unhealthy dependence, this conversation explores how true, Christ-centered connection thrives with freedom — not fusion.✨ Stay ConnectedFollow The Yellow Podcast on Instagram: @theyellowpodcastConnect with EK on Instagram: @kemxviConnect with Anne-Loïs Mbombo on Instagram: @annaclet_by_a

In this episode, we're exploring interdependence—aka emotionally intimate sovereignty—in relationships: what it is, what it isn't, and how interdependence differs from unhealthy patterns of relating like codependency and counterdependency (aka Hyper-Independence).BooksWhole Again* by Jackson MacKenzieSet Boundaries, Find Peace* by Nedra Glover TawwabLiberated Love* by Mark Groves and Kylie McBeathArticlesWhat is Enmeshment, and How Do You Set Boundaries?Enmeshment vs. Codependency: 7 DifferencesWhat is Enmeshment? 12 Signs To Spot It + How to HealUnderstanding the Fawn Response: Coping Mechanism in Trauma Recovery by Mona Kirstein, PhDIs it Codependency or Trauma Bonding? How to Tell the DifferenceThe Difference Between Being an Empath and a CodependentEmotional Intimacy: The Key to a Resilient and Fulfilling RelationshipWhat is an Interdependent Relationship?The Concept of Counter-Dependency: A Psychological ExplorationWhat is Counterdependency, and How Is It Related to Codependency?There are Three Main Types of Dependency. Here's the One to Strive for.Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for entertainment and informational purposes only and does not substitute individual psychological advice. *This is an affiliate link. Purchasing through affiliate links supports The Soul Horizon at no extra cost to you. Thanks for your support!

“Differentiation of self is being a unique individual while maintaining connection with people you love,” explains Dr. Julie Hanks. “We've been trained, particularly as women, to be enmeshed—to feel other people's pain for them. And that does no one any good. It doesn't help them, and it doesn't help us.” On Episode 239, Dr. Hanks joins Cynthia and Susan for a conversation about enmeshment. It has been a core theme in her 30 years of practice as a therapist in Utah, working with families in which “the boundaries are not clear at all and everything's everyone's business.” So why are some Latter-day Saints prone to focusing too much on the lives and choices of their children or other family members? Does our church have teachings that actually promote family enmeshment?  

Whitney analyzes the Amazon Prime show "The Girlfriend" to explore mother-son enmeshment and emotional incest. She analyzes how the show illustrates blurred boundaries, guilt and manipulation, marital dysfunction, and the devastating long-term impacts on sons' ability to form healthy romantic relationships, connecting the fictional dynamics to real research on these family patterns. Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. 00:00 Introduction to The Girlfriend and Mother-Son Enmeshment 04:00 Defining Emotional Incest and What It Looks Like 09:06 Power Assertion and Blocked Individuation 14:10 The Girlfriend as Both Rival and Mirror 17:25 How Marital Dysfunction Fuels Enmeshment 21:56 Why Enmeshed Sons Struggle with Adult Partnerships 25:12 Lies, Isolation, and the Ultimate Betrayal Have a question for Whitney? Call in and leave a voicemail for the show at 866-225-5466 Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity⁠⁠ Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Learn how lower-vibrational forces latch on and how to protect yourself.MAGNETIC AFFIRMATIONS (25 MINUTE):https://youtu.be/diRQevBDhio?si=RnB1gMEk4SqYlhljMAGNETIC AFFIRMATIONS (1HR+): https://21-day-break-up-glow-up-challenge.teachable.com/p/making-mind-magnetic-affirmations-all-eyes-will-be-on-you-793498

The mother wound is often missed or misunderstood... however, iv found it to be the missing link to most guys wounds that lead them down the road to addictions to sex, porn and masturbationWhy?Because the mother is at the heart of our safety, nurture, affection and intimacy. She models for us what a women is like and what its like to interact and live around oneWhen men have a mother wound, they struggle to feel safe, to trust, to risk, to find their voiceI talk about my weekly Trauma Care Workshop on this episode - These workshops have been FIRE in our all new Inner Circle program - a place of proven recovery, brotherhood and identity in ChristJoin the ⁠⁠⁠DeepClean Inner Circle⁠⁠⁠⁠ today!In this Episode, Im going to talk about everything mother wound:- How our mother forms our sexuality- Common wounds from the mother- Enmeshment - mom uses the son to numb her pain- Triangulation - mom does everything for the family to numb her pain- 4 practical steps you can take to heal your mother wound and BE A MAN who is free from porn, masturbation, sex and the fear holding you down from all God made you to beLooking for MORE? Work with me 1:1: ⁠Book your free strategy call to learn more about DeepClean Signature ⁠Our all new Inner Circle program has been FIRE - a place of proven recovery, brotherhood and identity in ChristJoin the ⁠⁠DeepClean Inner Circle⁠⁠ ⁠today!If you're really on the fence of what to do next, ⁠⁠⁠heres my free 90 day porn survival guide⁠⁠⁠, this can be an awesome starting point if you're not ready to invest $2 per dayMORE resources and info on 1:1 Coaching with Shawn: ⁠⁠https://secrethabit.ca/

Welcome to the "Week in Review," where we delve into the true stories behind this week's headlines. Your host, Tony Brueski, joins hands with a rotating roster of guests, sharing their insights and analysis on a collection of intriguing, perplexing, and often chilling stories that made the news.       This is not your average news recap. With the sharp investigative lens of Tony and his guests, the show uncovers layers beneath the headlines, offering a comprehensive perspective that traditional news can often miss. From high-profile criminal trials to in-depth examinations of ongoing investigations, this podcast takes listeners on a fascinating journey through the world of true crime and current events.       Each episode navigates through multiple stories, illuminating their details with factual reporting, expert commentary, and engaging conversation. Tony and his guests discuss each case's nuances, complexities, and human elements, delivering a multi-dimensional understanding to their audience.  Whether you are a dedicated follower of true crime, or an everyday listener interested in the stories shaping our world, the "Week in Review" brings you the perfect balance of intrigue, information, and intelligent conversation. Expect thoughtful analysis, informed opinions, and thought-provoking discussions beyond the 24-hour news cycle. Want to comment and watch this podcast as a video? Check out our YouTube Channel. https://www.youtube.com/@hiddenkillerspod Instagram https://www.instagram.com/hiddenkillerspod/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/hiddenkillerspod/ Tik-Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@hiddenkillerspod X Twitter https://x.com/tonybpod Listen Ad-Free On Apple Podcasts Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/true-crime-today-premium-plus-ad-free-advance-episode/id1705422872

Welcome to the "Week in Review," where we delve into the true stories behind this week's headlines. Your host, Tony Brueski, joins hands with a rotating roster of guests, sharing their insights and analysis on a collection of intriguing, perplexing, and often chilling stories that made the news.       This is not your average news recap. With the sharp investigative lens of Tony and his guests, the show uncovers layers beneath the headlines, offering a comprehensive perspective that traditional news can often miss. From high-profile criminal trials to in-depth examinations of ongoing investigations, this podcast takes listeners on a fascinating journey through the world of true crime and current events.       Each episode navigates through multiple stories, illuminating their details with factual reporting, expert commentary, and engaging conversation. Tony and his guests discuss each case's nuances, complexities, and human elements, delivering a multi-dimensional understanding to their audience.  Whether you are a dedicated follower of true crime, or an everyday listener interested in the stories shaping our world, the "Week in Review" brings you the perfect balance of intrigue, information, and intelligent conversation. Expect thoughtful analysis, informed opinions, and thought-provoking discussions beyond the 24-hour news cycle. Want to comment and watch this podcast as a video? Check out our YouTube Channel. https://www.youtube.com/@hiddenkillerspod Instagram https://www.instagram.com/hiddenkillerspod/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/hiddenkillerspod/ Tik-Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@hiddenkillerspod X Twitter https://x.com/tonybpod Listen Ad-Free On Apple Podcasts Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/true-crime-today-premium-plus-ad-free-advance-episode/id1705422872

Welcome to the "Week in Review," where we delve into the true stories behind this week's headlines. Your host, Tony Brueski, joins hands with a rotating roster of guests, sharing their insights and analysis on a collection of intriguing, perplexing, and often chilling stories that made the news.       This is not your average news recap. With the sharp investigative lens of Tony and his guests, the show uncovers layers beneath the headlines, offering a comprehensive perspective that traditional news can often miss. From high-profile criminal trials to in-depth examinations of ongoing investigations, this podcast takes listeners on a fascinating journey through the world of true crime and current events.       Each episode navigates through multiple stories, illuminating their details with factual reporting, expert commentary, and engaging conversation. Tony and his guests discuss each case's nuances, complexities, and human elements, delivering a multi-dimensional understanding to their audience.  Whether you are a dedicated follower of true crime, or an everyday listener interested in the stories shaping our world, the "Week in Review" brings you the perfect balance of intrigue, information, and intelligent conversation. Expect thoughtful analysis, informed opinions, and thought-provoking discussions beyond the 24-hour news cycle. Want to comment and watch this podcast as a video? Check out our YouTube Channel. https://www.youtube.com/@hiddenkillerspod Instagram https://www.instagram.com/hiddenkillerspod/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/hiddenkillerspod/ Tik-Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@hiddenkillerspod X Twitter https://x.com/tonybpod Listen Ad-Free On Apple Podcasts Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/true-crime-today-premium-plus-ad-free-advance-episode/id1705422872

The impact of enmeshed families doesn't end in childhood—it follows people into every adult relationship. In this segment, Tony Brueski, Stacy, Todd, and psychotherapist Shavaun Scott explore how toxic loyalty and control spill into marriages, friendships, and self-identity. From mandatory Sunday dinners to overbearing in-laws, the conversation highlights how enmeshed families suffocate independence—even decades later. Stacy shares her own jaw-dropping story about an ex-mother-in-law who tried to control everything, from prom night to medical crises, underscoring how deeply this pattern runs. Shavaun explains how parents like Donna Adelson can live “inside” a child's head, influencing every decision—even when physically absent. For many, the control doesn't fade until the parent dies, leaving a strange combination of grief and freedom. Some adult children even describe it as a physical weight being lifted the day the controlling parent is buried. We explore how these dynamics breed anxiety, depression, and identity confusion. People raised in such homes often replicate the cycle, marrying partners who resemble the controlling parent, chasing the same dysfunctional approval, or reliving unresolved trauma. This discussion shows how enmeshment can feel like a cult on a micro level: unquestioned authority, alternate reality, roles assigned to each family member, and loyalty above all else. It's a chilling framework that helps explain why certain families, like the Adelsons, cross moral and legal boundaries. Hashtags: #AdelsonTrial #DonnaAdelson #FamilyTrauma #ShavaunScott #HiddenKillers #TrueCrime #DanMarkel #EnmeshedFamilies #PsychologyOfCrime #TrueCrimeCommunity Want to comment and watch this podcast as a video? Check out our YouTube Channel. https://www.youtube.com/@hiddenkillerspod Instagram https://www.instagram.com/hiddenkillerspod/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/hiddenkillerspod/ Tik-Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@hiddenkillerspod X Twitter https://x.com/tonybpod Listen Ad-Free On Apple Podcasts Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/true-crime-today-premium-plus-ad-free-advance-episode/id1705422872

The impact of enmeshed families doesn't end in childhood—it follows people into every adult relationship. In this segment, Tony Brueski, Stacy, Todd, and psychotherapist Shavaun Scott explore how toxic loyalty and control spill into marriages, friendships, and self-identity. From mandatory Sunday dinners to overbearing in-laws, the conversation highlights how enmeshed families suffocate independence—even decades later. Stacy shares her own jaw-dropping story about an ex-mother-in-law who tried to control everything, from prom night to medical crises, underscoring how deeply this pattern runs. Shavaun explains how parents like Donna Adelson can live “inside” a child's head, influencing every decision—even when physically absent. For many, the control doesn't fade until the parent dies, leaving a strange combination of grief and freedom. Some adult children even describe it as a physical weight being lifted the day the controlling parent is buried. We explore how these dynamics breed anxiety, depression, and identity confusion. People raised in such homes often replicate the cycle, marrying partners who resemble the controlling parent, chasing the same dysfunctional approval, or reliving unresolved trauma. This discussion shows how enmeshment can feel like a cult on a micro level: unquestioned authority, alternate reality, roles assigned to each family member, and loyalty above all else. It's a chilling framework that helps explain why certain families, like the Adelsons, cross moral and legal boundaries. Hashtags: #AdelsonTrial #DonnaAdelson #FamilyTrauma #ShavaunScott #HiddenKillers #TrueCrime #DanMarkel #EnmeshedFamilies #PsychologyOfCrime #TrueCrimeCommunity Want to comment and watch this podcast as a video? Check out our YouTube Channel. https://www.youtube.com/@hiddenkillerspod Instagram https://www.instagram.com/hiddenkillerspod/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/hiddenkillerspod/ Tik-Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@hiddenkillerspod X Twitter https://x.com/tonybpod Listen Ad-Free On Apple Podcasts Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/true-crime-today-premium-plus-ad-free-advance-episode/id1705422872

The impact of enmeshed families doesn't end in childhood—it follows people into every adult relationship. In this segment, Tony Brueski, Stacy, Todd, and psychotherapist Shavaun Scott explore how toxic loyalty and control spill into marriages, friendships, and self-identity. From mandatory Sunday dinners to overbearing in-laws, the conversation highlights how enmeshed families suffocate independence—even decades later. Stacy shares her own jaw-dropping story about an ex-mother-in-law who tried to control everything, from prom night to medical crises, underscoring how deeply this pattern runs. Shavaun explains how parents like Donna Adelson can live “inside” a child's head, influencing every decision—even when physically absent. For many, the control doesn't fade until the parent dies, leaving a strange combination of grief and freedom. Some adult children even describe it as a physical weight being lifted the day the controlling parent is buried. We explore how these dynamics breed anxiety, depression, and identity confusion. People raised in such homes often replicate the cycle, marrying partners who resemble the controlling parent, chasing the same dysfunctional approval, or reliving unresolved trauma. This discussion shows how enmeshment can feel like a cult on a micro level: unquestioned authority, alternate reality, roles assigned to each family member, and loyalty above all else. It's a chilling framework that helps explain why certain families, like the Adelsons, cross moral and legal boundaries. Hashtags: #AdelsonTrial #DonnaAdelson #FamilyTrauma #ShavaunScott #HiddenKillers #TrueCrime #DanMarkel #EnmeshedFamilies #PsychologyOfCrime #TrueCrimeCommunity Want to comment and watch this podcast as a video? Check out our YouTube Channel. https://www.youtube.com/@hiddenkillerspod Instagram https://www.instagram.com/hiddenkillerspod/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/hiddenkillerspod/ Tik-Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@hiddenkillerspod X Twitter https://x.com/tonybpod Listen Ad-Free On Apple Podcasts Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/true-crime-today-premium-plus-ad-free-advance-episode/id1705422872

Have an episode suggestion? Text us!In this powerful follow-up to our recent episode on family dynamics, we go deeper into what it's like to grow up in a dysfunctional family system and what it takes to break free. We talk about emotionally immature parents, the painful dynamics of enmeshment, and the subtle but lasting damage of emotional neglect.If you've ever been told you're “too sensitive,” had to parent your parents, or felt like healing was treated as betrayal, this one's for you. From a spouse's perspective, it feels like it's you against the world as you seem to be the only person that can see the dysfunction - and it's incredibly isolating. We share our own experiences navigating these systems, how it nearly tore our marriage apart, and what finally helped us see the truth. We also talk about the reality of going no-contact with a parent - not as a first step, but a last resort - and why it might be the only path to peace for some.This episode is for anyone who has ever been impacted by a dysfunctional family...for those that have felt unseen, unheard, or unimportant in their own family and who's ready to choose something healthier.Support the showFind video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!On the web:www.twfo.comOnline Course: www.independentlystrong.comUse code WHEELIES75 for 75% off the entire course!Soberlink Device:www.soberlink.com/wheelsCheck out our blog:https://twfo.com/blogFollow us on TikTok:https://tiktok.com/@twfo_coupleFollow us on Instagram:https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/Follow us on Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCoupleFollow us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_coupleFind Taylor Counseling Group:https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:Donate Here

In this revealing episode of the Secret Life Podcast, host Brianne Davis-Gantt confronts the complex dynamics of dysfunctional families. With her trademark authenticity, Brianne breaks down the seven types of dysfunctional family systems, including enmeshment, authoritarianism, and emotional neglect, shedding light on how these patterns can shape our lives and relationships.Throughout the episode, she explores the roles individuals often assume within these families—scapegoat, hero, lost child, and more—demystifying how these roles contribute to the ongoing cycle of dysfunction. Brianne shares her personal insights and encourages listeners to reflect on their own family backgrounds, emphasizing that it is possible to break free from these inherited patterns.Listeners will gain practical tools for recognizing and addressing dysfunction in their own lives, empowering them to take charge of their narratives and create healthier family dynamics. Brianne's candid discussion serves as a powerful reminder that change is possible if one is willing to do the work. Tune in for a thought-provoking conversation that invites you to examine your roots and redefine your future.

this episode, we sat down with Adam Lane Smith to discuss attachment theory. Adam shares how to identify your attachment style, how to foster a secure attachment with your own children, and how to apply those learnings to all of your relationships. TakeawaysAttachment theory focuses on the formation of healthy, loving, and collaborative relationships.There are three main attachment styles: secure, avoidant, and anxious.Attachment issues can be formed in childhood due to various factors, such as lack of bonding with parents or traumatic experiences.Birth experiences may impact attachment formation, but it is possible to improve attachment styles through explicit love and nurturing.Bonding hormones, such as oxytocin, GABA, vasopressin, and serotonin, play a crucial role in attachment and can be influenced by positive experiences.Collaboration and asking questions are essential tools for parents to create secure attachment with their children.Divorce can have a significant impact on attachment styles, and it is crucial to provide context and foster oxytocin bonding with adopted children.Couples with different attachment styles can improve their relationship by being explicit about their needs, fostering collaboration, and building a marriage agreement.The breakdown of the family structure over the past century has led to challenges in attachment and relationship dynamics.Providing a safe and nurturing environment is key to developing secure attachment in both parent-child and couple relationships. Solving problems together in a relationship opens up oxytocin receptors and fosters intimacy and connection.Avoidant attachment style is characterized by a wall up, lack of trust, and an emphasis on survival. Anxious attachment style is characterized by a fear of abandonment and a focus on pleasing others.Enmeshment is a form of insecure attachment where boundaries are poor and caretaking becomes the responsibility of the child.Secure attachment involves open and explicit communication, clear boundaries, and a focus on generosity and adjusting for reality.Attachment styles can vary in different relationships and situations, but fostering secure attachment at home is crucial for healthy relationships outside the home.Nature and genetics may play a role in attachment, but it is the parent's job to nurture and guide their child towards secure attachment.Building a self-correcting family system where open communication and resolution of issues is encouraged is more important than striving for perfection as a parent.Find Adam Lane Smith HERE. Find Adam Lane Smith on Instagram HERE. Find Adam Lane Smith on YouTube HERE.Find Homegrown on Instagram HERE. Find Liz Haselmayer on Instagram HERE. Find Joey Haselmayer on Instagram HERE.Shop real food meal plans and children's curriculum HERE.Get  exclusive podcast episodes HERE.Find us on YouTube HERE.Shop natural home goods on Haselmayer Goods HERE.

This episode delves into the toxic pattern of triangulation in relationships, particularly within family dynamics. The hosts discuss how triangulation manifests, its impact on emotional health, and the importance of direct communication. They provide strategies for recognizing and breaking free from this pattern, emphasizing the need for awareness, setting boundaries, and doing personal work to foster healthier relationships.TakeawaysTriangulation involves pulling a third person into a conflict instead of addressing it directly.This pattern can create significant emotional distress and dysfunction in relationships.Children often become unwitting participants in triangulation, which can harm their emotional development.Enmeshment and triangulation are closely related, often leading to blurred personal boundaries.Recognizing triangulation is crucial for breaking the cycle and fostering healthier communication.Setting clear boundaries is essential to avoid being drawn into triangulation.Direct communication is a key strategy for resolving conflicts without triangulation.Personal growth and self-awareness are necessary to break free from unhealthy patterns.Triangulation can perpetuate generational dysfunction within families.Healthy relationships thrive on clear, direct communication and emotional honesty.Connect with UsEmail: masteryourmarriage@gmail.com – Reach out for coaching, share wins, or pitch episode ideas.Instagram: @masteryourmarriage – Daily tips, behind-the-scenes reels, and a healthy dose of Snow-family humor.Reviews Matter! If this episode sparked an aha moment, drop a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and send it to a friend who could use a vision upgrade.Feedback Corner: Thought of a topic we haven't covered? Hit reply—your ideas shape future shows.

Delanie Fischer is joined by Licensed Psychotherapist and International & Board Certified Trauma Therapist, Támara Hill, to discuss betrayal trauma —including deceptive affection, symptoms of this kind of trauma, the initial (and ongoing) impact it can have, and a multidimensional approach to healing.Plus:+ Your "Life as a Platter" Analogy & Growth Mindset+ Learned Helplessness, Enmeshment, and PTSD+ A Journaling Ritual You Might Want to Try Next!More episodes related to this topic:Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) with Licensed Therapist, Nadirah Habeebullah: https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/episodes/episode/327baacc/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd-with-licensed-therapist-nadirah-habeebullahWhen My Husband Came Out: Infidelity, Divorce, and Friendship with Jessica Frew: https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/episodes/episode/229e6642/when-my-husband-came-out-infidelity-divorce-and-friendship-with-jessica-frewHow To Build Self-Trust with Delanie Fischer and Kelsey Cook: https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/episodes/episode/3109f4db/how-to-build-self-trust-with-delanie-fischer-and-kelsey-cookHow to Fix a Broken Heart by Guy Winch: https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/episodes/episode/9c478f77/how-to-fix-a-broken-heart-by-guy-winchSupport the podcast and vote on topics: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelplessYour Host, Delanie Fischer: https://www.delaniefischer.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.