Podcasts about Love addiction

Send a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreMate/Partner selection, Collusive/Couple fit and all that: Why did I choose you and not someone else on planet earth?"I have never met you before or hardly know you, yet in a room of 100 people, I gravitate to you". How does that happen?My reply as a Therapist: "Because you 'promise' (or hold the potential) to fix and supplement an aspect of me which needs what you have - but I am not going to tell you that and make myself vulnerable."Say what? Yep."So you are saying that we gravitate to sameness (to compliment each other), as well as differenceness (to supplement my perceived deficits) - which I don't want you to know about and even I don't necessarily and consciously want to own that fact?"All very odd. Yep - because most of that dynamic lives in the unconscious, which is what Therapy with The Kairos Centre helps you with - to move as much from the unconscious into the conscious; so that when it is now in the conscious, you get the opportunity to try to do something about it; but just because it is now in the conscious does not mean you will be able to change what is now visible - quickly. It takes take to effect change.Why? Because you are going after patterns of behaviours set up in the childhood development period, where blueprints and templates were established and set in place and practised into adulthood. "So my thoughts and behaviours are going down a predictable course because of repeatedly practiced patterns of behaviours which have become neural pathways and it takes time to change well entrenched and well established patterns of behaviours which have become neural pathways?". Yep. You got it."Little wonder then that I set about trying to avoid getting it wrong again (by choosing that wrong type of partner) and to avoid that, I go to extreme opposite ends of the spectrum of attributes and blow me, I end up with someone where the same negative behaviours eventually show up again. Oh - yuk"!Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, Support the show

Dr. Eddie Capparucci and Tami explore the uncomfortable truths of emotional regulation, the importance of sitting with emotional discomfort, and realistic expectations for betrayal addicts and their partners to see improvements in their relationship. They then answer listener questions about  emotional regulation techniques, timeframes, and the motivation behind seeking to be an emotionally regulated partner in a relationship.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:33] The hard truth of staying emotionally present.  [4:34] Roadblocks to developing emotional leadership.  [7:08] What emotional leadership isn't.  [10:29] What emotional leadership is.  [18:30] Your partner is seeking safety, not explanations. [20:33] Dialogue for emotionally stable conversations.  [22:35] The role of healthy conflict in healing.  [28:19] "You are asking a lot of the betrayed partner."  [33:32] The person in pain and grief never gets to take a timeout from the nightmare. Why should their partner?  [35:17] Is this a slip or relapse?  [38:36] How can I better manage my emotions in the moment?  [40:20] How long should recovery work take?  [43:02] How can I correct after I become disregulated?  [45:43] How long will it take to feel confident and see results in my relationship?  [47:40] My partner ran away, how long should I give him to process?  [49:58] Body language recommendations.  [53:47] How do I know if emotional regulation techniques are working for me?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES "You cannot establish emotional leadership if you can't emotionally regulate yourself."  "Emotional leadership is not about winning. It's about the way you handle emotional distress when things become uncomfortable."  "Safety, not explanations, is what your partner's nervous system is seeking in order to regulate."  "You can be factually correct and absent at the same time."  "Demonstrating emotional leadership is not a one-time performance."  

Send a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreFrom where did you get your Sex Ed knowledge back there during the developing childhood years, which you have been following through and repeatedly practising in adulthood? Was it 'Peers, banter and porn' which set up your sexual template, long before school Sex Ed - which got there way too late; the deed was already done. You give a wry smile when asked about Sex Ed at home from parents! For most - there was none at home; for others, if there was, it came way too late.Once the five senses of sight, smell, taste, touch & sound brings images and experiences onto the brain - those 'firsts' have already set up the templates - which will then be repeatedly played out in adulthood sexuality, as being 'right' and 'works'. Not necessarily true. They are templates, but they may not be accurate of 'right'. They are just what your brain experienced as 'first time' and the template is set up (whether wanted or not) and will reproduce and reproduce; churning out the same old, same old - 'seems to work'; (but you know it isn't working as you want it to work!The setting up of those templates during the childhood development period are called sexual myths. Sexual myths need to be unlearned. Then replaced with accurate knowledge about human sexually and physiological responses. That is what The Kairos Centre provide, when its Therapists are wearing a different hat and skill set called Psychosexual Therapy. (I use the shorted term of 'Sex Therapy').It can be transformation, when (for the first time) you experience Sensuality, Intimacy, Romance, Deep Love & Affection - at a must higher level (after cleansing out the dross); which is so fulfilling on its own; and you haven't even had sex yet!Come and see and experience it for yourself. Then you will have eyes to see and body to feel the difference of 'sex gone wrong' all those years that you have been doing it!Help is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones,Support the show

Send a textValentine's Day expectations in marriage often go unspoken — and that's where disappointment begins.In this episode, Christine explores how waiting for your spouse to meet expectations without clear communication can create quiet resentment. You'll learn how to examine what you truly want, share your desires with clarity, and use Valentine's Day as an invitation for deeper connection rather than pressure.Christine also discusses how to express love without conditions, take care of your own heart when expectations aren't met, and start honest conversations that build intimacy over time.Resources mentioned:– Gentle Start Guide to Better Communication– Courageous Love Conversation

**This Episode is for entertainment purposes only, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions regarding a medical condition. **

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centrePart 5 of 5 of an interview with Caroline Brown of -  This Crazy over 40s Life - a Black & ethnicity perspectiveHere is a portion of an article by Lauren Dubinsky - Founder of Good Women Project: What I Wish I'd Known Before Watching Porn, 2012 "Pornography is a charged subject, and it's a word that rarely crosses the lips of most women. Yes, there are now breeds of the modern woman who watch, talk and joke about it regularly, but most of us still stay farther away from speaking the word than we actually stay away from it...... but statistics show that, at least in Australia, more than one-third of pornography viewers are women. Just last week, I received an email from a girl who leads a small women's group; they'd just discovered that every single one of them were watching porn.When I was in high school, pornography was on the long list of "bad things" that I didn't know much about -- and unfortunately also on the list of things I had participated in. Never mind why I was watching it, the how is the same for nearly all of us: We stumbled upon it because of someone else. And none of us knew what to expect, or how to handle it.I wish someone had talked about how women watch it too, so I wouldn't have had to spend years living under the shame that comes with being "the only one" and thinking there was something wrong with me....."What are the psychosexual issues that we work with as Sex Therapists, which young people are storing up and manifests in their twenties.Erectile Dysfunction: Inability to get or keep an erectionDelayed/Retarded ejaculation: Inability or 'long' delay in being able to ejaculatePremature Ejaculation: Coming too quicklyVaginismus: Inability for penis to enter the vagina due to vaginal musclesDyspareunia: Female pain during vaginal penetrationSexual Desire Disorder: Little or no desire for sexLack of Orgasm: Inability to reach an OrgasmSpectatoring during sex: Coaching self during sex and so not fully presentGenital/body dysmorphia: Belief that genitals are not 'normal'Spermaphobia: Fear of ejaculation and specifically spermEurotophobia: Aversion to/fear of female genitaliaSickle cell Priapism: Ejection failure to reduce and is longlastingVulvar painGet some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones,Support the show

Dr. Rob and Tami talk about compulsive liars in this week's episode and the reasoning behind someone who can't seem to tell the truth. If you are a betrayed spouse to someone who regularly lies and deceives, it can be hard to understand why lying can be the go-to safety mechanism for protection. Dr. Rob explains further in this episode why some addicts just can't stop lying.   TAKEAWAYS: [:30] Why is sex addiction not about sex? [3:35] I had a relapse and my partner is fed up. I want to build trust again, but she just doesn't believe me. What can I do? [9:20] You have to want recovery because you'll be doing it for a long time. [12:10] Does it make sense to have a marital absence if my partner has a porn addiction? [15:30] If you don't feel safe with someone and if you don't trust them, don't have sex with them! [17:10] My husband lies about his recovery. He's not doing the work! [22:45] Is your partner a lost cause? Dr. Rob can help. [23:00] I think he's a compulsive liar. Is this connected to his addiction?   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss  

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centrePart 4 of 5 of an interview with Caroline Brown of -  This Crazy over 40s Life - a Black & ethnicity perspectiveCovid-19 contributed to a significant increase in the compulsive use of porn in 10 to 75 years old. Women gravitated to webcam usage during lockdown – maybe coerced by partners making it seem like a necessary substitute. Many such females do not yet know they might be addicted until they try to stop.What is this thing called “Love Addiction”? Well, I believe it is all about trying to fill an Insecure Attachment need. What's that? Set up in childhood development where the bonding with key parental figures was not 'good enough'. “Say what!'. There may be a high level of sincere motivation to stop, but the physiology demand for its chemical fix, situational triggers and disturbing/upsetting feelings, causes a PART of the personality to sabotage. Logic goes offline. There is little care about the demands of the other PARTS of the personality. "I see, I desire, I want, so I take" kicks in. Immediate gratification rules.So, a lot of women worldwide, have become addicted or have a compulsion towards porn, but do not realise it. Arguably, there is greater 'Shame' for women, who then need to go deeper under ground and sty 'hidden. Stay means hide/hidden - don't tell or be found out. Remember SHAME + NARICISSISM = SEX ADDICTION.Some interesting stats from BACP Mindometer 2025 News from BACP: This annual survey into the state of the nation's mental health identified that almost two thirds (64%) of therapists say the public's mental health has deteriorated over the past year. Nearly all therapists identified financial pressures and the rising cost of living as major contributing factors, while 83% reported that war and global conflict have also negatively affected people's wellbeing.The survey gathered insights from almost 3,000 members, highlights several emerging trends:62% of therapists who work with men with addiction said they noticed a rise in alcohol addiction over the past yearOver half (53%) of therapists who work with men with addiction said they noticed a rise in porn addiction over the past yearWhat a shame the questions were focussed primarily on men. Interesting isn't it!In August 2024, BACP published its Addictions Competence Framework, identifying specialist knowledge, skills and abilities that counsellors require to effectively support adults living with addictions.  Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, Support the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.Therapy is about you not me.What do you want from Therapy? Are Fetishes or Paraphilia activities to be included? Where does your view come from? Is it your view or a 'hand me down?'What is for sure is that Therapy won't work until you are ready. But if you take too long (as the masses do), then the hand grenade may go off in your face and then you are left picking up shrapnel. Picking up shrapnel is to be re-active. What might shrapnel look like? It could be: getting caught by a partner; found out by an employer from office PC activities; the early morning knock by the police for viewing Child Sexual Abuse Material.Better to make conscious choices, even if wrong choices; (at least you know you made those choices and so, can own the fallout). Don't let lack of choice be done to you because you did not chose the activities, but they were done to you. You then own the repercussions. Make sense?CBT= Cognitive Behaviour (Therapy). The Cognitive (your thinking) will always come before Behaviour (the action). Change your thinking before trying to change Behaviour. If you can change your Mind, you can change your life.Whichever addiction you are caught up in (whether Alcohol, smoking, eating, sex, porn, seeking out connection with love, drugs, phone, gambling or gaming), the craving to use are not under direct conscious control. The neuro-chemicals or self induced chemicals take over and demand repeat fix. I see, I desire, I want, so I take, kicks in – where “Immediate gratification rules again.Design your sobriety with help from The Kairos Centre. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, Support the show

Through purpose-driven, self-honoring choices, we can reclaim our autonomy and replace old love addiction patterns with the self-love we truly crave and deserve. Empowering ourselves with the gift of a solid foundation, we build a life that's defined by our own rules, not someone else's. To unsheath the sword that slays people-pleasing and love addiction patterns, Harvesting Happiness Podcast Host Lisa Cypers Kamen speaks with Britt Frank, a clinician, speaker, and trauma specialist, and the author of The Science of Stuck. Britt describes a powerful approach to taming the inner critic and ending the cycle of people-pleasing. She shares strategies from her corporate work to describe the purpose-driven process of gaining authentic leadership over doubt about our self-worth. Like what you're hearing? WANT MORE SOUND IDEAS FOR DEEPER THINKING? Check out More Mental Fitness by Harvesting Happiness bonus content available exclusively on https://harvestinghappiness.substack.com/ and https://medium.com/@HarvestingHappiness.

Through purpose-driven, self-honoring choices, we can reclaim our autonomy and replace old love addiction patterns with the self-love we truly crave and deserve. Empowering ourselves with the gift of a solid foundation, we build a life that's defined by our own rules, not someone else's. To unsheath the sword that slays people-pleasing and love addiction patterns, Harvesting Happiness Podcast Host Lisa Cypers Kamen speaks with Britt Frank, a clinician, speaker, and trauma specialist, and the author of The Science of Stuck. Britt describes a powerful approach to taming the inner critic and ending the cycle of people-pleasing. She shares strategies from her corporate work to describe the purpose-driven process of gaining authentic leadership over doubt about our self-worth. Like what you're hearing? WANT MORE SOUND IDEAS FOR DEEPER THINKING? Check out More Mental Fitness by Harvesting Happiness bonus content available exclusively on https://harvestinghappiness.substack.com/ and https://medium.com/@HarvestingHappiness.

The Wake Up London Podcast continues with a rich and honest conversation with Ian Sneath — an ordained practitioner in the Plum Village tradition, working at the intersection of Plum Village practice and Insight Leadership.In today's episode, Ian is interviewed by co-hosts Leo and Lucy, and together they explore themes of trauma, self-love, Internal Family Systems (IFS), addiction, and more — with warmth, courage, and real depth.

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.Make the real thing the real thing; prioritise the right thing. Fight the right battles. Don't fight some battles, but lose the war. It will drain you and then you want to self-soothe and dissipate your energy.Your brain may sideswipe you to focus on non-essentials. What is the real issue. Take your eyes off others and do your own battles and fights. Not ones which others have set up for you. Focus on self love and self value. Only then can you learn to truly love someone else.….then, after sorting self, maybe you will have more energy to pick up other things and fulfil your best potential in the right aspects of life that is destined for you to impact beneficially. Become the best that you can be and leave your positive deposit on this earth. Consider a re-set, re-set, re-set. Get back to the real thing. Your focus is to change the trajectory that you are on. Change it by just one degree and in a year, see where your new trajectory has taken you.Compulsive and addiction behaviours is causing you to live and experience a lower quality of life, than you are entitled to and deserve.The Kairos Centre is all about helping you to see what you cannot see; then you can go after the right stuff, effect change and seek to be the best that you can be, so others can become the best that they can be –  because you have become the best that you can be - without SHAME, bringing colour back to life. Come taste and see! Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, Support the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.Sex Addiction is handled very differently between the cultures. Shame plays out differently between cultures. 'Shame' in Asian culture, is very different to 'Shame' in Western European culture.An interesting article by Sam Louie, discusses Asian 'Shame' and 'Honour' as a cultural conundrum:"...Honoring his Korean heritage while also trying to honor his sense of autonomy growing up.  He saw getting help as bringing dishonor to his family and not an act of empowerment...Seeking help for addictions...is seen as a major umbrage to the Asian individual, family, and extended Asian community.....when it comes to addictions, there is scant attention given to Asians. Part of the limited attention lies in the age-old Asian custom of secrecy, silence, and shame. From an Asian addict's perspective, it's the ultimate blow of humiliation to be seen as weak since having an addiction goes against Asian social norms......The mere acknowledgement of an Asian person having a problem is going against cultural norms because it sends the implicit message to others that you have let them down....internal shame in Korea comes when a person has not lived up to the community's rules and expectations. This internal shame is very prevalent among Asians and Koreans. It functions to build group harmony and unity.”In addition, Asian shame is intricately tied to the fear of rejection and loss of both familial and cultural community support...is more profoundly associated with the fear that one's inadequacies will result in the loss of union with or expulsion from the group”. “Chinese parents readily discuss and disclose children's transgressions in front of strangers to induce shame and to socialize children to behave properly…given the greater valuation of shame in collectivist cultures compared to individualistic ones, it should not be surprising that in many East Asian and other collectivist contexts shame plays a more salient role in everyday life.”...in shame-based cultures, public humiliation, scorn, or censure are relied upon more heavily to keep individuals in obedience whereas the western notion of guilt and corrective behaviors comes from an individual's development of an internal conscience."Remember, 'Shame' means hide/hidden - don't get caught or be found out.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, Support the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.“Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest or them all”? How do you answer that question for you? Learn to love self, before you can love others.I use that thing called EMDR to work on the distorted image of self. What is this thing called EMDR? It is Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing. What a mouth full!I can talk about it til the cows come home, but you will still have frowns on your eyebrows. Watch a few of the video clips: https://youtu.be/9uE04Blfd-Q?si=MrNZZmCAgmTmOUo7  EMDR (Prince Harry) experiencehttps://youtu.be/M2ra8p4MSOkhttps://youtu.be/bIJZQAr9nQohttps://youtu.be/HNdMHuwvF_Mhttps://youtu.be/xZVw-9ThmSMStop accepting the crumbs off the table. The brain's dialogue with you can go like this: “It's better to have someone, than no one; but people are not safe. Keep them at arms-length and be ready to retreat quickly, if you get a whiff or hint that they are unhappy and may finish with you. It is best to torpedo the relationship; jettison it and protect your heart from further pain, before they do it to you. So, throw in a hand grenade (effectively, to create conflict so as to force the other person to have to leave and finish with you); and then the ‘fait accompli' kicks in, where – ‘I knew they would finish with me at some point'. (When in fact that was not necessarily what they were planning); more important that you do it to them, before they do it to you, because it hurts less, done that way and you are then in more control of the pain, than if it is done to you and you were caught off guard (again). “Do onto others, before they do it to you” – is being played out repeatedly. It all makes logical sense to your brain, even if it doesn't to you!Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, Support the show

Debbie McRae and Tami tackle ‘betrayal brain', the intrusive thoughts, and emotional flooding that often accompany betrayal. When the brain is in survival mode, neurological and psychological effects are out of the betrayed partner's control. They discuss tactics to regain control when the brain is hijacked.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:26] When betrayal occurs, the architecture of the brain is reshaped.  [4:50] Warning signs of betrayal brain.  [5:46] Four areas of the brain are affected by betrayal.  [10:45] Triggers can occur even when the relationship feels safe.  [12:07] Regaining control when the brain is hijacked.  [25:37] Self-compassion practices and therapy after betrayal.  [27:30] The betrayed partner has no control over how the brain is going to react. [31:41] Keeping regulation expectations simple. [33:54] Does my PTSD and anxiety make it harder to overcome betrayal brain?  [40:12] What boundaries can I enact with a sex addict who is breaking the law? [46:17] Handling abandonment to create safety.  [49:10] How can I increase my functionality to what it was before PTSD?   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “When betrayal occurs, it shatters trust in an instant.” “Even neutral interactions that the betrayed partner is experiencing can be triggering.”  “The betrayed partner has no control over how the brain is going to react when it senses threat.”  “Self care is brain care.”   

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.There is a difference between men and women and how they raise boy children - isn't there!Am I allowed to even pose that question? What does emasculation of men mean? A browser search result says about Emasculation: 'It refers to the perceived loss of traditional masculine attributes, such as strength and power, often resulting from societal changes or dynamics in relationship'.Were those traditional values 'fit for purpose anyway'? What does the new attributes look like? Are men trying to make them fit, but experiencing a straight jacket effect?When men do not feel that they are getting it right, the desire to self-soothe to manage emotions, is all the more prevalent.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, hormones,Support the show

In this weekly Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Tami and Erin Snow answer participant questions about sex, intimacy, addiction, betrayal, and more. They consider timelines in recovery, what full disclosure entails, and how to know if your partner is an addict or just a full-blown jerk, or both.    TAKEAWAYS: [:30] Is this seminar only for partners experiencing betrayal?  [3:55] How do I know if my partner is an addict or just an a**hole?  [7:25] How should I define my inner circle behaviors after chem sex recovery?  [12:09] My wife can't get over my affair, it's already been 10 months.  [19:50] Can I trust that my husband suddenly has no urges to act out?  [27:10] My husband says he'll tell me anything that I ask him about. Was his disclosure incomplete?  [31:52] Do you suggest a 12-Step program for the betrayed partner? It's not my fault!  [35:55] Can you clarify between a porn addict and a sex/love addict?  [44:10 How long does recovery take on average?  [49:19] Can recovery happen without a formal 12-Step program?   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “She's not going to believe that you're not sexually attracted to them when she doesn't believe anything you say right now.”  “The action that it takes to rebuild trust takes time.”  “You may not be enmeshed in your partner's behavior, but you are deeply involved.”  “What matters most is the quality of the time that you are spending on your own individual work to heal and to rebuild trust.” 

In this episode, Kristen is joined by Dr. Etel Leit, a human communication researcher and award-winning entrepreneur, to explore the roots of love addiction, how obsession and self-neglect appear in relationships, and how to reclaim a sense of self.   https://dretelleit.com/   When you purchase Dr. Etel Leit's book through these Amazon affiliate links, you're helping support the podcast at no extra cost to you:    1. UnAddicted to You: Loving Yourself Through the Darkness: https://amzn.to/4oRZr9N   2. The Emotional Code: https://amzn.to/3XWdzEg   3. You are My SignShine!: A Complete Guide to Using Sign Language to Connect and Communicate with Hearing Babies and Children: https://amzn.to/44y9I3U   4. Where is Water?: The Daddy and Papa Family: https://amzn.to/3KW7PHr   5. Where is Water?: The Single Daddy Book: https://amzn.to/499n4WR   6. Where is Water?: The Mommy & Daddy Family: https://amzn.to/4rYPxWP   7. Where is Water?: The Single Mommy Family: https://amzn.to/4aQt4F6   8. Where is Water?: The Mommy & Mama Family:https://amzn.to/3KYkREi     Subscribe and get a free 5-day journal at www.kristendboice.com to begin closing the chapter on what doesn't serve you and open the door to the real you. This information is being provided to you for educational and informational purposes only. It is being provided to you to educate you about ideas on stress management and as a self-help tool for your own use. It is not psychotherapy/counseling in any form. This information is to be used at your own risk based on your own judgment. For my full Disclaimer, please go to www.kristendboice.com. For counseling services near Indianapolis, IN, visit www.pathwaystohealingcounseling.com. Pathways to Healing Counseling's vision is to provide warm, caring, compassionate and life-changing counseling services and educational programs to individuals, couples and families in order to create learning, healing and growth.

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.What's a “Russian Doll” (or is it called a Babushka) got to do with Sex, Porn, Love Addiction?I thought you would never ask!“I haven't bought into that nonsense “Big boys don't cry”, when I was growing up”. At least, I don't think so”!That guy called John Bowlby in the 1940's dared to put together some suppositions that I didn't like. How dare he put me in a box and think that he knows me. Yet, “Oh my goodness, that stuff he is talking about me; describes me. I don't like this. Anyway, I am a complex being made by God and only Sigmund Freud can unravel the complexities of me”. (This was my coping strategy that I used to avoid getting penetrated and having to go and see those busy-body counsellors and tell them about my growing up stuff, so they could sort me out).The inner child was curled up deep inside the Russian Doll, with layers of protection, to avoid people that I give my heart to, hurting me again. "Big boys don't cry". Therefore, grown up boys absolutely cannot cry. A man's man get's up, stop crying and whimpering and gets on with it. Stiff British lip stuff. (PS: Is that the upper or lower lip that is stiff. I always wondered!)What is the framework and straight jacket which society (which is us) has given men? Is it the right fit? If it isn't, how do we break out and re-invent ourselves?What baton? What generational/family script has been handed on to each of us?What is masculinity? What does it mean? Is it controversial to even ask the question? Too dangerous for me to even dare to begin to offer a 'take'. What does that mean for a progressive society?More questions than answers in this episode.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, hormones,Support the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.Russian dolls very well illustrates the brain's attempts to protect and guard us from repeat pain from situations experienced in the childhood development years. The real us, may have got stunted, where the brain built layers and layers around the inner child from the time of early developmental traumas and uncomfortable issues.By adulthood, maybe you no longer know who is the 'Real' you. You get a split second sight of him (very rarely), but before you are ready, he pops back in and disappears.When you get that split second sighting, you know you could get to like him, but as you hold up your hands to beckon him to stay, just as quickly, he disappears. (Make sense to anyone?)You learn to present a version of you, dependent upon the persona you think that group of people want to see or have got use to seeing; but it may not be the real authentic you. It may have got tiring living in that mould and you have outgrow that version of you, but the 'system' won't let you change and metamorphose into a different version of you. You are stuck. The coat no longer fits. So you self-soothe with P....Men are “Wild at heart”. That book (by that title) by John Eldredge – maybe is on to something. There is something that is not done “good enough” during childhood development. The brain then sets about trying to fill the deficits with coping strategies – Sex, Porn and/or Love Compulsive activities enter the mix, after the game console or sports, ain't doing it well enough.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, hormones,Support the show

Connect with Leanne on Social Media:    Enroll in the Collective: The mentorship space for ambitious career women who are ready to break addictive love patterns for good: leanneoaten.com/membership Watch my free 20-minute mini-class: Break the Emotional Grip of Toxic Love: leanneoaten.com/detox Instagram: www.instagram.com/awakeningwomenofficial/  Facebook: www.facebook.com/awakeningwomenofficial/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/theevolvedfeminine and https://www.youtube.com/@awakeningwomenofficial Website: leanneoaten.com    Leanne Oaten is a former Registered Professional Counsellor with a background in Counselling Psychology and has over 13 years of experience counselling and coaching women. This podcast is for high-achieving CEO, entrepreneurial women who refuse to settle in a life that looks successful on the outside but feels empty on the inside. If you're juggling business, career, family, and a relationship that doesn't light you up while secretly craving more freedom, more abundance, and more joy - this is the podcast for you. I help women reclaim their power, build unshakable self-trust, and create the kind of life they no longer want to escape from. We're not here to hustle harder or burn it all down, we're reinventing ourselves and our lives from power. We're no longer focused on changing men, or fixing ourselves for men,  we are building for ourselves so that we never settle again. We're here to make power moves with ease, and feminine energy that attracts everything you want without losing yourself in the process. So if you're ready to stop waiting for him to change, stop negotiating your worth, and start embodying the woman you want to be, welcome home. Let's dive in.  

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'? A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.We need you ladies. Don't give up on us yet!So much more practical in finding solutions. Teach us please ladies. We need you. I am convinced that women have been endowed with an extra perceptive sense which us men do not have. You see danger in innocuous situations that us men just glaze our eyes over, until..... 'Too late guy'.Us men have become emasculated by a society. What does masculinity mean? Aren't there two roles – Masculinity & Femininity? Aren't they different? Don't they complement each other, to create a balanced society? Too simplistic Gary?We need someone in our life to role-model the sexual type that belongs to each of us. Without it, so many are floundering on the high seas, trying to do the best with the best that they have been handed. “Life isn't fair” - I decided, long ago.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, hormones,Support the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'?: A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.Impediments to having great relationships:Disruption in the bonding in early childhood development with the significant caregivers (usually parents), is a key factor. The male (a father) plays a very important role. Masculinity cannot be entirely and comprehensively supplemented by a mother. It is not “do as I say”, it is “do as you see me doing”. The eyes take in the largest amount of information during the communication process.What gets set up in childhood, plays out in adulthood, in how we interact with others; seeking to bond, yet avoid repeat hurt. It is called Insecure Attachment. Insecure Attachment in Adulthood, often presents as “Love Addiction”, where the individual is not so much chasing Love, but connection; acceptance; to be inclusive; to be wanted; to be secure.The stuff of Sex, Porn, Love Addiction is indiscriminate. It impacts, in a significant way, women, children, men, LGBTQI community - cutting across all of the societal stratas and ages - (aged 9 to 75). The scale of addiction is staggering and is at pandemic levels:•          12% of all internet websites contain pornography.•          25% of all search engine queries—68 million per day—relate to sex.•          35% of all downloads are pornographic.•          70% of men aged 18–24 visit porn sites monthly.•          Average first exposure: 11 years old.•          1 in 5 pastors struggle with pornography.•          Over 50% of practising Christians report occasional porn use.•          Neurodivergent individuals show higher compulsive-use rates. Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, hormones,Support the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhat is 'Manly'?: A conversation with Damian Andrews of SHAIR.Care Podcast (Australia) in 2023.What is Man-ness? There is still a caveman instinct inside of us as men. Has the image got distorted as men try to metamorphize ourselves to fit what society tells us a man should be. Trying to fit what we are really not, is hard work. At some point there may be an increased desire to self-soothe and escape into cyberworld for a while – using sex, porn and/or other compulsive behaviours. Consider this poem: Children Learn What They LiveAuthor: Dorothy Law NolteIf a child lives with criticism, he [she] learns to condemn.If a child lives with hostility, he [she] learns to fight.If a child lives with ridicule, he [she] learns to be shy.If a child lives with shame, he [she] learns to feel guilty.If a child lives with tolerance, he [she] learns to be patient.If a child lives with encouragement, he [she] learns confidence.If a child lives with praise, he [she] learns to appreciate.If a child lives with fairness, he [she] learns justice.If a child lives with security, he [she] learns to have faith.If a child lives with approval, he [she] learns to like himself [herself].If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he [she] learns to find love in the world.Templates and scripts from batons and intergenerational patterns passed on, are already shaping the developing brain in such an early formative time, which will set up patterns that continue to play out in adulthood. Therefore, significance must be given to this period in the man's life.(Let's build upon this in the subsequent episodes of this interesting podcast chat).Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, hormones,Support the show

Dr. Skip Speer and Tami talk about doomscrolling and hopescrolling, the features of each, and how to tailor your algorithm to lift you up at every stage of recovery. They then answer participant questions about sex addiction, including narcissism, gaslighting, and therapist obligations as mandatory reporters.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:49] Doomscrolling versus hopescrolling – how to engage in what serves you.  [7:01] Using your phone to numb out? Try this instead. [8:50] What is the difference between a CSAT and a regular therapist?  [13:25] Do we really need a couples therapist?  [20:24] The importance of accountability in therapy. [26:57] Programs for sex addiction with narcissistic traits. [37:25] The danger of denial in recovery.  [41:03] Dealing with a sex offender changes the recovery game.  [44:49] Key differences between narcissism and sociopathic behaviors.  [46:45] How can I financially separate myself from my betraying partner?  [50:05] My partner is looking at underage porn. Should I report him?  [54:33] Is the term 'gaslighting' used too loosely?  [56:30] What are the obligations of a mandatory reporter?  [58:30] What is the likelihood that underage porn addicts will ever ask for help if they know they will be reported?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES "It feels better to comfort than confront, but at the end of the day, recovering addicts need accountability."  "In real recovery, we're looking for anything that is problematic or helping us escape in unhealthy ways."  "You know what your partner is not willing to do. So what are you willing to do?"   

Dr. Skip Speer and Tami answer participant questions about missing a partner who has betrayed you, strategies for opening up in honest and helpful ways, timelines for dedicating time to recovery resources, and appropriate dialogue to have with family and friends during recovery.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:04] What is my role in holding the pain of my betraying partner?  [6:50] Seeking Integrity resources that are available to navigate unhealthy relationships.  [7:58] What treatment options are available to a narcissistic sex addict betrayer?  [13:24] How and when should we approach discussing our situation with family and friends?  [17:10] How can I open up as the betrayer and address the tough topics with my partner?  [23:37] Do I need to discuss being a 12-Step sponsor with my spouse?  [27:20] Is it normal to miss my betraying spouse?  [30:51] How can we navigate my partner's addictions with our children?  [36:15] Which support groups offer accountability instead of enablement.  [43:29] Can betrayed partners have traits of love addiction?  [44:31] How can I avoid getting pulled in to my sex addict partner's lies?  [50:02] How do I know when it's time to adjust the amount of time we spend on recovery resources?  [54:14] How can I possibly initiate sex after the years of my partner's betrayal?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES "If a person is willing to engage in therapy and get in and do the work, there is hope."  "The more you focus on healing for you, the faster you will heal."  "Things may be bad, but they will get so much worse if you keep holding onto it."  "No addict changes unless the pain of changing is less than the pain of staying the same."   

In this powerful call-in episode of Dr. Judy WTF, Dr. Judy unpacks the difference between being in love and truly loving someone. She explains why the dopamine-filled highs of infatuation can feel like a drug, why those “butterflies” rarely last, and how real love is built on stability, shared values, and emotional safety. Using her Mind Map® system and attachment theory, Dr. Judy traces how childhood wounds, “holes in the soul,” and inconsistent parenting create anxious and avoidant attachment styles that play out in adult relationships.A courageous caller shares how growing up with emotionally unavailable parents led him to repeatedly fall for partners who don't have time for him. Dr. Judy walks him through her “What the Freud”® repetition principle—why we keep choosing rejecters and secretly hope they will finally heal our original pain. She also explores whether the in-love feeling can come back in long-term relationships, how to rekindle sparks with date nights, play, sex, and shared growth, and why becoming the cause of your healing (instead of at the effect of others) is the real path to healthy, mature love.

Dr. Jessica Lamar, Licensed Mental Health Therapist, explores unseen wounds and understanding disenfranchised grief and betrayal trauma. What is disenfranchised grief, and why does it matter? Dr. Lamar overs betrayal trauma, emotional and psychological impact, healing, and support strategies. She and Tami then answer participant questions about grief and boundaries, conversations and resources that are available to help navigate grief.    TAKEAWAYS: [:30] Intro. [2:58] Defining ambiguous loss – am I even in grief?  [4:40] Disenfranchised grief is a loss that is not openly acknowledged, socially validated or publicly mourned.  [6:02] Examples of disenfranchised grief as it relates to betrayal trauma. [11:30] Ambiguous losses that are associated with betrayal trauma.  [13:56] When betrayal occurs, the resulting grief is often disenfranchised.  [15:47] Statements that are commonly heard in disenfranchised grief.  [18:36] The psychological and emotional impact of disenfranchised grief.  [24:12] Strategies for empowering ourselves after loss.  [27:34] Common ways we invalidate grief after betrayal. [29:45] How can I validate myself in my grief?  [37:04] Interventions to help navigate disenfranchised grief.  [41:35] What resources are available to better understand and process grief.  [44:20] What dialog can we use to better communicate with extended family members who will not allow space for grief?  [47:35] How can I navigate anticipatory grief when I don't know what is actually going to happen?  [48:55] How can I ever start dating again after betrayal?  [50:49] What if the person who feels unsafe to me is a therapist?  [52:28] What is appropriate to say to our adult children?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES "When a loss isn't socially recognized, the grieving process can be isolating and difficult to navigate."  "The lack of validation can make the pain even more isolating."  "When we are alone with our betrayal trauma and our grief, we can start to invalidate our own feelings."  "Navigating disenfranchised grief and betrayal trauma requires real, intentional effort to heal."  "No one has the right to tell people what is or isn't a loss."   

On this Seeking Integrity webinar, therapist Debbie McRae discusses therapeutic separation as an effective intervention for couples struggling with the impact of betrayal and addiction. She highlights the structure of therapeutic separation as a compassionate approach to help both individuals regain safety, clarity and hope in the relationship. She and Tami then answer participant questions about therapeutic separation, when it's the right next move, and what to do when it didn't resolve your relationship issues.    TAKEAWAYS: [:55] The possibilities with therapeutic or healing separation.  [2:07] Common scenarios in couples dealing with betrayal.  [3:00] Is therapeutic separation right for my relationship?  [6:04] The purpose and plan of therapeutic separation.  [10:34] Realistic separation timelines and action plans.  [17:47] Addressing common therapeutic separation fears.  [24:57] Managing the message to others.  [29:45] What to do when you're stuck. [32:11] The importance of regular therapist check ins.  [36:32] How does therapeutic separation end?  [40:16] What is the difference between sobriety and recovery?  [47:54] My partner is gaslighting me. Would in-home separation help?  [52:19] How do I know if my partner is really doing the work?  [57:08] Therapeutic separation didn't work. How do I move forward?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES "Therapeutic separation aims at creating stability, safety, and gives each individual time to gain insights."  "As you define clear goals and understand the purpose of therapeutic separation, it becomes a roadmap for healing."  "In therapeutic separation, both partners are fully committed to doing their recovery work."  "All of this is scary, but the scariest thing is staying stuck."  

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre"Narcissism because of Sex Addiction - Yuk! That's not me".Many clients initially (but silently and violently) object to any suggestion that there is Narcissism at work. I am never suggesting they have NPD (Narcissist Personality Disorder), but that they WILL have traits from Narcissism.Here is one definition of Narcissism which I use: "Narcissism is the way we conceptualise how we will look after ourselves. In its pathological form, it refers to people who seem incapable of acknowledging or taking sufficient account of the reality of other people and their separate existence. Narcissistic Personality Disorder describes those who exemplify an extreme form of this characteristic. The primary purpose of Narcissism is to compensate for experience, usually in early childhood, when ordinary expectable needs were not met adequately. The Narcissist denies dependence on others and denies even that others exist except as players in the Narcissist's drama. Other people are required to meet the narcissist's needs for recognition and value, but without relationship being reciprocated.The narcissist gives nothing, but demands others give everything. Therefore the original horrific experience of unmet need and the shame and vulnerability that goes with it, is denied and defended against.Traits include being the centre of attention; little interest in others; craves recognition and praise. They are performers and want others to keep on clapping and not stop; controls and dominates interaction with others; has to be right; cannot admit to ever being wrong and never apologises; insists on things being done their way; always makes the choices and decisions. Reliance on another is not acknowledged"."Gary, let me show you evidence that I do not seek attention, take little interest in others, don't crave recognition or attention, let alone a performer and want claps. How dare you...."Until I unfold their behaviours and leave them with 'food for thought' to reflect upon; including going back to my definition of Sex Addiction to see 'the function which the addiction serves'.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, hormones,Support the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreDevelopmental history from childhoodThe phase of childhood from birth to age 6 is a critical time of sensitivity, during which time, templates are created which shape future interpersonal interactions. During this sensitive period of development, a child acquires a variety of new abilities and skills that are a necessary part of child development. There are five sensitive period categories, which include language, order, sensory skills, motor skills, and social skills.Many people experience some type of wounding during their early development and learn to numb their pain by self-soothing with one or more compulsive behaviours. As adults, they may continue to struggle with the compulsive misuse of alcohol, drugs, spending, food, sex, relationships or the Internet. All addictions feature a very complex emotional and biochemical process that have origins in childhood trauma and the deprivation of authentic intimacy and bonding during development.Socially induced pathology appears between the ages of 4 to 5 and 8 to 9.The onset of male sexual imprinting is from aged 3 to 4 and peaks at 8 to 9, with an  upper tail at about aged 13. These sex and relationship templates (set up in childhood) become activated at puberty and develop and continue throughout adult life.4 Ways in which juvenile sex and relsp templates are developmentally vulnerable to socially induced pathology:·       Explicitly neglecting to monitor and reinforce healthy sexual rehearsal play.·       Punishing or humiliating children for their rehearsal play.·       Prematurely inducting children into sexual rehearsal play.·       Coercing children into age-discrepant sexual rehearsal play.Our early attachment styles are established in childhood through the infant/caregiver relationship. Four distinguishing characteristics of attachment are:1   Proximity Maintenance - The desire to be near the people we are attached to.2   Safe Haven - Returning to the attachment figure for comfort and safety in the face of a fear or threat.3   Secure Base - The attachment figure acts as a base of security from which the child can explore the surrounding environment.4   Separation Distress - Anxiety that occurs in the absence of the attachment figure.Templates are setting up traits that will play out in Adulthood, which the child did not vote to have at work in their life. Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, hormonSupport the show

S4 Ep#32Want to be a guest on the podcast? Send Andrew a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/member/anonymousandrewpodcastPlease buy me a cup of coffee!Proud Member of the Podmatch Network!SummaryIn this episode of Digital Dating, host Andrew engages with Sherry Gaba, a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist, to explore the complexities of love addiction, codependency, and the challenges of modern dating. They discuss the impact of attachment styles on relationships, the signs of toxic relationships, and the importance of self-love and healing from past traumas. The conversation also touches on the role of digital dating apps and the evolving landscape of finding connections in today's world.Sherry Gaba, LCSW and Transformation Coach contact and links:Author of Love Smacked:How to Stop the Cycle of Relationship Addiction and Codependency to Find Everlasting LoveInstagram: @codependencycuriousTo get her free E-book click hereSherrys Website!Anonymous Andrew Podcast StudiosDigital Dating Podcast w/Anonymous AndrewCultimatum Podcast-The Culture of CultsThe Weekend Rant with Anonymous AndrewAnonymous Website:Discord Chat Invite Link: https://discord.gg/mS7RAe4gGDInstagram:TikTok:Threads:Facebook:YouTube:Linkedin:X: @AAndrewpodcastGraphics design & promotions: Melody PostMusic by: freebeats.io

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreSex Addiction is different to Porn Addiction. Sex & Porn Addiction are different to Love Addiction. They all get set up in 3 ways:1. Opportunity: Material accessed too early in childhood development2. Trauma: Just as it says on the label of the can! But make trauma age-related and its impact on the immature developing brain, not what is going on in wars between Russia & Ukraine, Israel & Hamas3. Insecure Attachment: A disruption in the early years bonding between the child and main caregiversDefinition of sex addiction: A pattern of sexual behaviours which pre-occupy your thoughts and are out of control. You cannot stay stopped for a sustainable period or consistently and it has harmful consequences and the behaviour serves a function in your life and it is used primarily to anaesthetize some negative feeling state. (The important criteria which makes it an addiction, rather than a love of sex, is that it serves a function). Love Addiction: We all want love and affection and to feel special to at least one person. We need attachment and instinctively seek connection, especially romantic connection. There is nothing dysfunctional about wanting love and affection and connection.Love addiction, however, is a compulsive, chronic craving and/or pursuit of romantic love in an effort to get our sense of security and worth from another person. During infatuation we believe we have that security only to be disappointed and empty again once the intensity fades. The negative consequences can be severe and yet the love addict continues to hang on to the belief that true love will fix everything.Therefore, they eventually get back up after the hurt of rejection and try the chase again and again, even when love from at least one other, is in front of them. Caused by “Attachment”, mostly set up in childhood, it seeks to fill a perceived void, that will never actually be filled.We all want love and affection and to feel special to at least one person. We need attachment and we instinctively seek connection, especially romantic connection. There is nothing dysfunctional about wanting love, affection and connection.There is a difference between a Compulsion and an Addiction, even if the journey to recovery is the same. Here is a link to my whiteboard video to help better understand all of those distinctions - https://youtu.be/Sd_28nqNK1AGet some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Keywords:sex addiction, addicted, sex counseling, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, sex addiction recovery, therapist, therapy, talk show, sex therapy, podcast, sobriety, counseling, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, relationship therapy, couples therapy, sex therapist, online counseling, emdr therapy, emdr, sex therapy, addiction, conflict management, love addiction, love addiction therapy, behavior, marriage, marriage advice, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, sexual trauma, trauSupport the show

Ever heard of the "bird theory"? Jaime Moyer is joins us and enlightens us on it. Plus, learn that Emily Dorezas' medium is felt! Join us for an in-depth recap of an EPIC episode of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Amy, Jamie, and Emily discuss the latest drama, including Heather's bold confrontation with Lisa, Bronwyn's potential fraud storyline, and Mary and Angie's unique friendship. They also speculate about upcoming Bravocon events, share insights on their personal lives, and explore the significance of 'the bird theory' in relationships. Don't miss out on this packed episode filled with laughter, analysis, and some unexpected heartfelt moments!TICKETS to CabarAMY @ The Hard Rock Vegas:https://www.ticketweb.com/search?q=%22CabarAmy%22+Live+Comedy+Show For more Drama, Darling, and exclusive content, subscribe to Patreon:http://Patreon.com/dramadarlingFollow Drama, Darling on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/dramadarlingshow/  Email Drama, Darling with YOUR comments, questions and drama: DramaDarlingz@gmail.com Follow Amy Phillips on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/dramadarlingshow/  Get 15% off OneSkin, go to: https://www.oneskin.co/ Code: DRAMAJones Road Beauty, modern Day clean makeup. JoneRoadBeauty.com Code: DRAMAStart your mental wellness journey today with Rula, visit: https://www.rula.com/drama/

We talk to blockbuster bestselling author Elizabeth Gilbert about her latest book —a compelling memoir that’s impossible to put down. Resources & links related to this episode: All the Way to the River by Elizabeth Gilbert Check out the new Happiness Project tools Liz Gilbert's Substack newsletter: Letters from Love Gretchen's Substack newsletter: Secrets of Adulthood Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Some men can't stop trying to “save” broken women. They think it's love. They think it's noble. But it's an addiction — a way of escaping their own pain. In this episode, I read a powerful letter from a man trapped in the “White Knight” pattern and delivers some tough love on how rescuing others can destroy you, your marriage, and your peace of mind.If you've ever tried to fix someone who didn't want to be fixed, or confused pity for love, this one's going to hit home.Join the Brotherhood! https://helpformen.com/join

What if loneliness wasn't just an emotion — but a symptom of something deeper? In this next quick thought, I revisit a conversation with Darren - a powerful and painfully honest moment about loneliness, love addiction, and why so many of us confuse validation with connection. This clip explores what it really means to feel lonely, even when surrounded by people, and how learning to sit with that feeling — instead of running from it — can become one of the most healing acts of self-awareness.We talk about the HALT method — hungry, angry, lonely, tired — and why recognising these emotional triggers can change the way we respond to pain. Loneliness, as you'll hear, isn't just about being alone. It's about the ache of disconnection, the search for validation, and the quiet pull of old patterns that can keep us trapped. Love addiction often hides in plain sight, disguised as romance, attachment, or the pursuit of affection. But behind it can lie the same cycle of craving and withdrawal that drives any addiction.This episode asks a difficult but essential question — what happens when we stop trying to fill the void and simply face it? Sometimes, being alone is less painful than staying in something that keeps us small. Sometimes, sitting with discomfort is where real recovery begins.Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODESpotify - https://bit.ly/3QsOSf5YouTube - https://bit.ly/4a3ajKKApple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQAbout the “THOUGHT” series -Every other Monday at 5 PM, I'll bring you a quick ‘thought'—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773ePodcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypalFollow Darren -Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/creativedazzlePodcast - https://theatreaudiencepodcast.com/Follow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds#loveaddiction #slaa #recovery

On this Seeking Integrity webinar, Dan Drake, Matthew Raabsmith, and Joanna Raabsmith present "Building True Intimacy: A Roadmap to Relational Restoration After Sexual Betrayal." Together they consider how couples can effectively and efficiently move from betrayal and discovery to healing and connection, based on their book Building True Intimacy. They then answer participant questions about recovery, disclosure, and lasting healing.   TAKEAWAYS: [:30] Introducing Dan Drake, Matthew Raabsmith and Joanna Raabsmith. [3:23] How do couples heal after betrayal and disclosure? [5:30] Five key components to restoring intimacy, starting with awareness, authenticity and assertiveness. [9:16] The power of a foundation of honesty and safety. [17:32] Regulation and relational safety must be prioritized by the betrayer. [20:30] Stepping into trust and commitment following betrayed. [27:13] The value of inviting trusted people into your healing journey. [31:10] The hallmarks of empathy and vulnerability. [35:10] Creating community with other betrayed couples. [36:28] Reintroducing intimacy after betrayal. [44:55] When does a couple start to feel like they are on the same team? [49:24] The V.A.S.E. framework. [51:30] How can the betrayed partner move toward trust after regression? [56:08] My partner wants to move along without rebuilding. How can we heal? [58:48] Can we successfully recover without disclosure or restoration?   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.   QUOTES ● “Am I aware of the direction I'm heading based on the choices I'm making every day in my life?” ● “When I say my values are one thing and I live my life in a different way, I am not showing up authentically.” ● “If we don't have a foundation of honesty, we don't have anything to build on.” ● “The ability to be present will move us back into the partnership phase of the next level of healing.” ● “You have to have vulnerability if you're going to rebuild intimacy in a relationship.” ● “What kind of recovery do you want in your life whether or not your marriage makes it?”

On this Seeking Integrity webinar, Dr. Rob and Tami answer listener questions about cheating, betrayal, sex and more. They address recovery, disclosure, and setting healthy boundaries throughout the recovery process, and offer a realistic timeline for partners to move from betrayal to intimacy and healing.   TAKEAWAYS: [:30] My wife is using my body for sex. Is this just a libido mismatch? [9:30] Setting boundaries after hearing sex threats. [12:09] My partner and I are doing everything right. When will the next chapter start? [18:15] A little about Dr. Rob's books and his editor Scott. [22:30] Is formal disclosure really necessary? [25:51] How do we navigate the balance between romantic and sexual connection with the need for space and individual healing? [28:18] Distinguishing between sexual entitlement and the need for validation. [34:20] How does ADHD impact betrayal and recovery? [37:08] My husband doesn't want to label himself as a sex addict. Now what? [45:37] How can I forgive and move on for my child while still navigating grief?   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.   QUOTES ● “There is no difference between a sex addict and someone who uses sex to self-regulate.” ● “In recovery, you're learning to live life on a completely different plane than you did before.” ● “If you want to learn and keep moving forward, you will.” ● “You cannot make your partner do anything they don't want to do.” ● “Forgiveness is something I do for myself.”

On this Seeking Integrity webinar, Scott Brassart discusses resilience and healthy coping mechanisms for both addicts and betrayed partners. He and Tami then answer participant questions about handling triggers, understanding big emotions, and addressing supercharged manifestations of shame.   TAKEAWAYS: [1:10] Resilience and healthy coping mechanisms for everyone. [3:16] 5 practices to build resilience, from happiness to obstacle immunity and staying present. [11:20] Tools that can help with building resilience. [15:30] The 3-second rule for sex addicts. [19:30] The key difference between happy people and the rest of us. [28:50] Handling triggers like kindergarteners handle fire drills. [35:00] Understanding the emotions beneath the anger. [44:01] Blaming others is the easiest form of denial. [48:32] Manifestations of shame. [54:00] Good things can happen if you're willing to do the work. [55:39] How can I address my supercharged emotions? [1:00:41] Stop problematic behavior, then address the underlying issues.   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.   QUOTES ● “Resilience is not a tool we are born with, it's a skill we can learn.” ● “Of all the tools I've given you, gratitude is the most powerful.” ● “Healthy coping skills and resiliency are inextricably linked.” ● “Practice using these tools when you're safe, use them when you're not.” ● “Big emotions rarely address the underlying emotion.”

On this Seeking Integrity webinar, Dr. Eddie Capparucci addresses the struggle of many men to show empathy, especially those who have dealt with childhood trauma and emotional neglect. He warns of the dangers of labels and offers insights into the biological and neurological factors that affect empathy. Then he and Tami answer participant questions about empathy in relationships, with strangers, and in and out of the home.   TAKEAWAYS: [:30] The link between problematic sexual behaviors and a lack of empathy. [3:00] Empathy is learned in childhood. [7:18] When men don't know how to deal with emotions, they shut down. [8:46] The biological component of empathy. [12:23] Timing plays a critical role in the development of empathy. [15:07] Healing the brain and cultivating empathy. [24:07] Emotionally cold or emotionally dysregulated? [28:45] Why is my spouse empathetic with everyone except me? [33:09] Why do I seek stranger validation more than closeness with my partner? [35:35] My husband had plenty of empathy when courting me. What happened? [40:50] The neurological danger of viewing porn. [41:22] Lack of empathy or autism spectrum? [45:38] Where to find the feelings wheel. [46:48] Why is it easier to be empathetic with someone who's upset with someone else than someone who is upset with me? [49:41] Can these same principles apply to women? [52:00] How will we know when we are ready for couples work? [55:10] My husband feels judged when I ask him to be accountable.   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.   QUOTES ● “When men don't know how to deal with emotions, they shut down.” ● “Trauma and emotional neglect do not damage every child's empathy circuit in the same way.” ● “The brain can heal and empathy can be cultivated.” ● “Emotional regulation is recovery.”

Delanie Fischer chats with Brittany Moore, who shares her experience being married to Steve Moore, a past guest on Self-Helpless and someone who has struggled with porn addiction (and now helps others overcome it). She describes how she found out, the impact it's had on her, and where her and Steve are now after 20 years of marriage. Plus: + The Unexpected Way Brittany Found Out  + The Signs She Noticed But Didn't Understand + Potential Isn't Enough, You Need This Too Self-Helpless on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless Your Host, Delanie Fischer: https://www.delaniefischer.com EPISODES RELATED TO THIS TOPIC: Is It Porn Addiction? Inside the Impact, Neuroscience, and Recovery with Steve Moore and Mark Kastleman: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/2230ec70/is-it-porn-addiction-inside-the-impact-neuroscience-and-recovery-with-steve-moore-and-mark-kastleman 7 Shocking Truths About Codependency And Addiction with Heidi Rain: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/24c74079/7-shocking-truths-about-codependency-and-addiction-with-heidi-rain Sex and Love Addiction with Sex Addiction Therapist, Alex Katehakis: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/316e9795/sex-and-love-addiction-with-sex-addiction-therapist-alex-katehakis When You're A High Functioning Addict (And Modernizing The 12 Steps) with Dr. Samantha Harte: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/233469a8/when-youre-a-high-functioning-addict-and-modernizing-the-12-steps-with-dr-samantha-harte Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, I'm diving into the brain chemical that rules our lives: dopamine. Pulling from Dr. Anna Lembke's Dopamine Nation, Andrew Huberman's research on addiction, and the book The Molecule of More, we'll cover:✨ Why dopamine isn't about happiness—it's about wanting more✨ How love, sex, drugs, and TikTok all hijack the same system✨ Why the honeymoon phase feels like a drug… and why long-term love feels different✨ The dark side of dopamine: addiction, tolerance, anxiety✨ How to reclaim dopamine for creativity, ambition & joyWhether you're addicted to your phone, chasing love like it's cocaine, or just trying to understand why Oreos are impossible to eat “in moderation,” this episode will make you laugh and maybe change how you live.

I'm back. Honestly, I don't even know how I made it back alive, but here I am. What I'm coming back from is a full-blown meltdown that started on Mother's Day and ended today—exactly 133 days later. When I look at that window of time, I'm actually impressed I survived it . For over a decade on YouTube, I've shown up every single week teaching about addiction—how to handle it, what to say, how to set boundaries, and how to navigate someone else's dysfunction. I loved doing that for a long time. But behind the scenes, while I was helping others, something was happening to me. I was walking my own recovery path—from binge eating, binge drinking, and various self-sabotaging behaviors—and I shared those struggles publicly. I even created the “Love Yourself First Empowerment School” to help people heal from toxic relationships. And I was good at it. I dedicated my life to helping people speak their truth. But here's the thing—I'm not here to tell you about yourself anymore or about the people in your life. Menopause cracked me open. It wasn't a gentle awakening; it was a tunnel through hell. Over the past year and a half, I stripped away all the illusions—who I thought I was, what I believed I was here to do, how I showed up, even my own story around addiction. And on the other side, I came out raw, real, and unmasked. What I discovered in these last 133 days is that my root addiction is love addiction. I was addicted to what everyone else needed, to their opinions, to a false self I built out of survival. That false identity drove me into all my other addictions—alcohol, food, toxic relationships, bad choices, self-betrayal, self-rejection, and self-denial. From now on, this channel is going to be about two things: my personal journey with love addiction, and how it's shown up in every area of my life. I'm here for self-responsibility, for digging up buried treasure within, and for breaking through the blocks that keep us from living as our truest selves. Learn more and join the journey at www.HeidiRain.com #LoveAddictionRecovery #TrueLoveWithin #EmotionalHealing #BreakFreeFromAddiction #HeidiRain #SelfDiscovery #AuthenticLiving #InnerHealing #Podcast #RecoveryJourney #MentalHealthAwareness #AddictionHelp

Three Out Loud hosts, one tarot card reader, and our unfiltered reactions. What could go wrong? Outlouders, this is an episode we have been looking forward to. Also, we’re not just reading our futures — Holly unpacks the vulnerable and heartfelt revelations in Liz Gilbert’s new book, including her self-proclaimed 'love addiction'. So why does Jessie find some of her observations feel kind of familiar? The wild but true high school catfish doco that floored Jessie; Holly and her good friend Meghan enjoy a taste of Spain; plus some X-rated bread making. Our recommendations this week truly run the gamut. P.S. If you want to listen to our one-on-one tarot card readings with Jessie, Holly and Amelia, we have a subscriber episode dropping in your feed next week. We’ll see you there

Have you ever felt like two parts of yourself are at battle with each other--one that knows something is bad for you and another that wants to do it anyway? Or maybe you have a loud inner critic, or an inner toddler that just wants to be seen and heard? We are all made up of different parts, but we can learn how to work with them vs against them. In this episode Jodi talks with therapist and author, Britt Frank, about her new book, Align Your Mind: Tame Your Inner Critic and Make Peace with Your Shadow Using the Power of Parts Work. Jodi and Britt discuss the different types of parts and how to identify them, and how parts work can be helpful in love addiction recovery.  Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Link to Jodi's website and link to join her newsletter for upcoming announcements For more information about Britt Frank visit her website and follow her on Instagram @brittfank Purchase Align Your Mind here Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

Love addiction is a set of symptoms most often associated with romantic relationships. But these symptoms can also show up in our relationship with work, which might look like this: seeking unconditional positive regard (ie earning validation and worthiness from the work we're doing, the company that employs us, the person who manages us), while we overvalue this company or person (and undervalue ourselves and the contribution we are making at work), all while self-neglecting as we overfunction in order to get that external validation. And all of this leads to exhaustion, health issues, and ultimately burnout.  In this episode, Jodi talks with burnout and productivity specialist, Tamu Thomas, author of Women Who Work Too Much, about toxic productivity, ambition and the cultural conditioning that shapes us. Tamu shares her personal experience with overfunctioning and how this led to a necessary life change; and why women often end up being the "selfless caretakers", how this leads us into a cycle of toxic productivity, and how we can change that...plus much more! Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Link to Jodi's website and link to join her newsletter for upcoming announcements For more information about Tamu Thomas, visit her website and follow her on Instagram @tamu.thomas Purchase Women Who Work Too Much here Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.    

We're back with another listener AMA episode, and this one goes deep. As always, it's just me and my amazing wife, Alyson Charles Storey, sitting down to answer your most heartfelt, curious, and courageous questions.We touch on everything from consciousness expansion and unconditional love to near-death experiences and the spirit of addiction. I open up about my journey with drugs and alcohol and what it took to finally surrender—and how I view the energetics behind substances and the way they can open (or erode) our fields. Whether you're on a healing journey, wrestling with an old pattern, or just love hearing two people process the real stuff in real time, this episode is packed with gems. Thank you to everyone who submitted a question—we see you, we love you, and we're honored to walk this path together.Get your Animal Power book and deck at alysoncharles.com/animalpower.DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for educational purposes only and not intended for diagnosing or treating illnesses. The hosts disclaim responsibility for any adverse effects from using the information presented. Consult your healthcare provider before using referenced products. This podcast may include paid endorsements.THIS SHOW IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY:BON CHARGE | Use code LIFESTYLIST for 15% off at boncharge.com/lifestylist.LEELA QUANTUM TECH | Go to lukestorey.com/leelaq and use code LUKE10 for 10% off their product line.LIMITLESS LIVING MD | Book your free consultation today at limitlesslivingmd.com/luke and use code LUKE for 12% off your first order.NUCALM | Go to nucalm.com/lukestorey and use code LUKE for 15% off!MORE ABOUT THIS EPISODE:(00:00:00) Consciousness, Conflict, & the Practice of Unconditional Love(00:43:28) Where Do We Go When We Die? Exploring the Mystery of the Afterlife(00:57:40) The Spiritual Battle with Alcohol & the Path to Freedom(01:16:52) Detoxing the Modern World: Vaccines, Nanotech, & Spiritual Resilience(01:28:53) Clowns, Calendars, & Conspiracies: The Quest for Truth(01:41:15) Healing Love Addiction: From Loneliness to WholenessResources:Website: alysoncharles.com Instagram: instagram.com/iamalysoncharles Facebook: facebook.com/rockstarshaman X: x.com/alysoncharles TikTok: tiktok.com/@shamanalysoncharles YouTube: youtube.com/@alysonstorey Shop all our merch designs at

Delanie Fischer is joined by Steve Moore (Certified: Sex Addiction Therapist, Partner Trauma Therapist, Multiple Addictions Therapist) and Mark Kastleman (Board-Certified: Clinical Chaplain and Pastoral Counselor), co-hosts of The PBSE Podcast (Porn, Betrayal, Sex, and the Experts), to share their personal experiences with pornography and sexual addiction—including root causes, signs and symptoms, raw inner dialogue around the behaviors, their recovery process and its impact on their marriages, and how they help others heal. The stats say—you, or someone you know, is likely struggling with this. Parents, partners, and porn consumers—don't miss this episode.Plus:+ A Shocking Stat About Porn and Divorce+ How Addictive Is This Porn Thing, Really?+ 3 Key Warning Signs You Shouldn't IgnoreMore episodes related to this topic:Sex and Love Addiction with Sex Addiction Therapist, Alex Katehakis: https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/episodes/episode/316e9795/sex-and-love-addiction-with-sex-addiction-therapist-alex-katehakis7 Shocking Truths About Codependency And Addiction with Heidi Rain: https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/episodes/episode/24c74079/7-shocking-truths-about-codependency-and-addiction-with-heidi-rainThe Psychological Impact of Gaslighting with Dr. Stephanie Sarkis: https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/episodes/episode/2a31527c/the-psychological-impact-of-gaslighting-with-dr-stephanie-sarkisSupport the podcast, vote on topics, and more: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelplessYour Host, Delanie Fischer: https://www.delaniefischer.com* In this episode, we explore the mental health impacts of porn addiction and the path to recovery.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.