Podcasts about Love addiction

Ever felt like you're chasing someone who refuses to choose you—again and again?Or maybe you are the one who runs when things get close.This isn't about love.It's about wounds.In this powerful breakdown, we dive deep into how childhood parentification, emotional enmeshment, and abandonment trauma shape our adult relationships—often without us even knowing. If you've ever been in a toxic cycle of love addiction and avoidance, or feel stuck begging for crumbs in a relationship that never gives back… this is your wake-up call.

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreLet's continue our look at 'Repairing the damaged couples relationship, post Sex Addiction'.Does that image of the mules describe your relationship? of course not you, but your partner! Each trying to get their needs met. Those Core Emotional Needs. Remember that Core Emotional Needs are not negotiable. They want to be met and Fight/Flight/ Freeze will play out where they have been depleted for some time. (This dynamic is all so unconscious and not readily visible).Moving in one direction to get Core Emotional Needs met, without the partner, will put tremendous strain on the relationship. Pressure increases. Conflict is apparent.Interestingly, the other partner may not be pulling back - as the image seems to depict. They may just be digging in just to avoid the force of the pull taking them in a direction that they do not yet want to go!Tension in the relationship increases. Annoyance is apparent; hostility is in the air; conflict is palpable. Yet the process is working away in the unconscious and neither party may fully understand what is going on.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpBritish Podcast Awards 2025: Would you consider voting for this Podcast? https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/votingGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: sex addiction, addicted, sex counseling, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, sex addiction recovery, therapist, therapy, talk show, sex therapy, podcast, sobriety, counseling, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, relationship therapy, couples therapy, sex therapist, online counseling, emdr therapy, emdr, sex therapy, addiction, conflict management, love addiction, love addiction therapy, behavior, marriage, marriage advice, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, sexual trauma, trauma, brain, sex science, The Sex Porn Love Addiction Podcast, biology, gender, Gary McFarlaneSupport the show

SummaryIn this enlightening conversation, Valerie Lynn and Jodi White delve into the complexities of love addiction, exploring its symptoms, personal experiences, and the cultural influences that shape our understanding of relationships. Jodi shares her journey of recovery, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, boundaries, and the need to own one's reality in the healing process. The discussion also highlights the significance of establishing healthy relationships, recognizing red flags, and the empowerment that comes from choosing oneself.Chapters00:00 Understanding Love Addiction09:05 The Impact of Childhood and Culture18:06 Identifying Love Addiction27:03 Navigating Recovery and Healthy Relationships27:03 Cultural Influences on Relationships27:56 Establishing Healthy Relationship Boundaries30:51 Creating a Dating Plan for Recovery36:16 High Achieving Women and Love Addiction38:17 Understanding Love Addiction39:46 Advice to My Younger Self41:37 Leaving a Lasting Message for the Next GenerationConnect with Jodi:Website: https://www.jodiwhiteonline.com/Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/543YCNjinRyCFZ9Wv4B88s?si=8d60c1c3aa6043cf&nd=1Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jodiwhite_Connect with Us: Follow The Women On Top Podcast on Apple, Spotify or anywhere you get your podcasts and Subscribe for more empowering conversations and stories! The Women On Top on YouTube The Women On Top on Instagram The Women On Top on LinkedIn

Kim Litton with raw honesty, she opens up about her journey from addiction and trauma to freedom and recovery, offering a powerful message: hope is real, and healing is possible. Kim speaks about the myths and misconceptions around female sex and love addiction, the impact of childhood wounds, and how the desire to be seen and valued shaped her early relationships. This isn't just a story of recovery, it's a testimony of reclaiming self-worth, breaking generational patterns, and finding true freedom. Tune in to hear: Why Kim kept the most vulnerable parts of her story in the book What female sex and love addiction really looks like How childhood trauma shaped her understanding of love The deeper message of hope, healing, and limitless possibility This is a conversation for anyone who's ever felt unseen, unloved, or unsure if freedom was possible for them. Kim's story is proof that transformation is not only real but worth every step. #RecoveryJourney #FemaleAddictionRecovery #SexAndLoveAddiction #HealingFromTrauma #HopeAndFreedom #WomensStories #KimBookInterview

In recovery, we examine the past and how it shaped us. We look at what we learned from our family of origin about life and relationships; plus the cultural messages that influenced us along the way (and may continue to do so). Storytelling can be a powerful tool in recovery, because as we look at the past we uncover memories that lead to feelings and aha moments; we connect dots that help us make sense of what has happened to us, and how it all led us here today. In this episode, Jodi shares three stories that have been on her mind and how these stories relate to her own recovery. Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Link to Jodi's website and additional resources Helpful books: Facing Codependence and Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody Ready To Heal by Kelly McDaniel Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.      

We're back with another listener AMA episode, and this one goes deep. As always, it's just me and my amazing wife, Alyson Charles Storey, sitting down to answer your most heartfelt, curious, and courageous questions.We touch on everything from consciousness expansion and unconditional love to near-death experiences and the spirit of addiction. I open up about my journey with drugs and alcohol and what it took to finally surrender—and how I view the energetics behind substances and the way they can open (or erode) our fields. Whether you're on a healing journey, wrestling with an old pattern, or just love hearing two people process the real stuff in real time, this episode is packed with gems. Thank you to everyone who submitted a question—we see you, we love you, and we're honored to walk this path together.Get your Animal Power book and deck at alysoncharles.com/animalpower.DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for educational purposes only and not intended for diagnosing or treating illnesses. The hosts disclaim responsibility for any adverse effects from using the information presented. Consult your healthcare provider before using referenced products. This podcast may include paid endorsements.THIS SHOW IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY:BON CHARGE | Use code LIFESTYLIST for 15% off at boncharge.com/lifestylist.LEELA QUANTUM TECH | Go to lukestorey.com/leelaq and use code LUKE10 for 10% off their product line.LIMITLESS LIVING MD | Book your free consultation today at limitlesslivingmd.com/luke and use code LUKE for 12% off your first order.NUCALM | Go to nucalm.com/lukestorey and use code LUKE for 15% off!MORE ABOUT THIS EPISODE:(00:00:00) Consciousness, Conflict, & the Practice of Unconditional Love(00:43:28) Where Do We Go When We Die? Exploring the Mystery of the Afterlife(00:57:40) The Spiritual Battle with Alcohol & the Path to Freedom(01:16:52) Detoxing the Modern World: Vaccines, Nanotech, & Spiritual Resilience(01:28:53) Clowns, Calendars, & Conspiracies: The Quest for Truth(01:41:15) Healing Love Addiction: From Loneliness to WholenessResources:Website: alysoncharles.com Instagram: instagram.com/iamalysoncharles Facebook: facebook.com/rockstarshaman X: x.com/alysoncharles TikTok: tiktok.com/@shamanalysoncharles YouTube: youtube.com/@alysonstorey Shop all our merch designs at

In this weekly Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Tami and CSAT Jon Taylor consider the implications of two-person psychology and how cheating and betrayal never affect just one person. Jon shares common early recovery mantras as they apply to the two-person psychology filter, then answers listener questions about lying, sobriety, and disclosure.    TAKEAWAYS: [:30] Mantras for early recovery in the two-person psychology filter. [3:06] “Focus on your side of the street.”  [6:01] Living with uncertainty in your relationship - “He will relapse if he's going to relapse.”  [9:15] Whatever you put in front of recovery, you will lose.  [14:08] Does your partner need to tell you everything?  [20:09] “All addicts are…” The danger of broad sweeping statements.  [24:15] “Sobriety will solve all relationship problems.”  [29:32] How can I overcome my fear of full disclosure?  [34:55] Should I move out because my partner is uncertain about my recovery?  [39:15] “Don't go to the hareware store looking for bread.”  [42:45] My husband altered his disclosure after his lie detector results came in. How can I ever trust him?  [45:57] How much of the past should we spend our time discussing?  [49:12] Are lies of omission typical of addicts?   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “You don't quite get the whole picture of healing, change and recovery if you're not thinking in terms of two-person systems.”  “What happens on one side of the street affects the other side too.”  “He will relapse if he's going to relapse.”  “Each partner should be able to explain in simple terms why or why not something should be discussed.”  “Living with intention can only be achieved by two people working on a relationship and constructing it in a co-equal way.”  “Sobriety is a prerequisite to building a healthy relationship, but it is not the mechanism that a healthy relationship is built with.”  “It doesn't have to feel good every step of the way to get a good outcome.” “You can't have serious safety and security in a relationship if you don't take it seriously.” 

In this weekly Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Tami and The Shoeless Therapist Matt Wheeler discuss two types of change – counteractive change and transformational change – and how each one impacts healing. They also consider honesty, manipulation, and lying; and warn listeners of the danger of a partner claiming that they'll never hurt you again.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:57] Defining counteractive change and transformational change.  [4:08] Early recovery almost always includes counteractive change.  [5:33] Honesty is a complicated request. [9:37] Reflective and dissociative lying are learned behaviors.  [11:49] Trusting your gut around lying patterns. [17:20] Lying to set boundaries and allow for self-preservation. [22:32] Is this lie going to hurt my relationship?  [24:40] Counteractive change does not lead to deeper healing.  [29:55] Your partner cannot always be the catalyst for your behavior.  [34:10] Threatening is about control, not about fostering relationships.  [37:28] Trusting your own intuition and getting your needs met. [41:40] How can I handle my betrayed partner's indignation and anger?  [47:05] How can I respond to my partner's promise to never hurt me again?  [53:18] How can I approach my extremely avoidant partner?  [56:07] My cheating partner was never going to tell me the truth. Now what?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “All lying is manipulative in the sense that you're trying to manipulate the other person to think and feel a certain way.”  “Trust your gut when you recognize a familiar pattern.”  “Sometimes a person can change because they love someone else. Real transformative change happens because they love themselves.”  “No relationship is healthy if it's filled with threats.”  “Even if you could prove that acting out didn't occur, that's not the point. Your intuition is telling you that you have needs that aren't being met.”  “You cannot make any choice in life without accepting a loss.” 

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreBuilding new foundations for the couple: Take a look at the Different Relationship Images document attached to this Podcast. I try to bypass language as much as possible. Feelings do not always tell the truth. We can be very English. Very British!Question: "How are you today". Answer: "I'm fine thank you".Observation after the automatic response: "I notice you are on strong pain-killers and on crutches"!Emotions are very powerful and drive so much of our decisions, including major bridge-burning decisions - in the moment. Emotions live in the Limbic brain.I use the Relationship Images document with the couple right at the beginning of our work, in order to get at the truth and not what feelings and emotions are telling me if I ask the couple some questions about their relationship.I want to know how deeply entrenched is the damage done to the relationship. The exercise by-passes the emotional brain (of feelings) and also the intellectual logical reasoning part of the brain. Instead, I connect with their heart. The heart tends to tell the truth. So I use the exercise to listen to the heart.Each identify an image which represents a time in their Past when the relationship was working at its absolute best; super-doper. Then an image which represents where the relationship is Now (such that they have come for therapy). Finally, which image best represents the Future. Think big. Think miracle. A future where the issues are resolved and they are living the 'bestest' quality couples relationship, beyond what they could ever image.I am looking for any split agenda as to why each of them have come for therapy; any ulterior motive. Has one of them long left the relationship -  (emotional disengagement). Their spoken word may be contradicted by their choice of images.The discussion which ensues, will be eye-opening for the couple. Mostly, pleasantly surprising! Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpBritish Podcast Awards 2025: Would you consider voting for this Podcast? https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/votingGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | PornographySupport the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreCouples counselling is not necessarily about keeping a couple together at all. All about exploring options. Also to help you both gain insight and understanding about self and how you do life, as an individual. Whether a Partnership or a marriage, these things are true: “Marriage is not the coming together of two people. It's a clash of two cultures, two experiences, two memories, two habits, two morals, two values. And that is a formula for destruction” - Dr Myles Munro“[It] is [also] the place of our healing. So don't leave it too quickly” - Dr Creflo Dollar. (You are destined to eventually repeat the issues again with the new person, because you take you with you into the new relationship - where second and third time around each have an even worse percentage likelihood of separation and divorce).Pinches hurt. Try using your fingernails to pinch your thigh. A pinch in a relationship, jolts the relationship and disrupts harmony. A crunch not only jolts the relationship, it assaults the very foundations of the relationship. Having pinched your thigh with your finger nail, now open the palm of your hand and hold it as if holding a tennis ball. Those fingers represents the jaws of a rottweiller dog that has its teeth locked into your bum cheeks. That is much more than just a jolt!An accumulation of unresolved pinches in a relationship which were never resolved, but put inside self, pressed down on top of years of other compressed pinches, will eventually become a crunch.Take a look at the accompanying Pinches & Crunches diagram to see the different options presented to the couple during each of those events.Unresolved and unprocessed pinches & crunches creates ambiguity, Resentment, Anger, Uncertainty, where options include - do nothing, separate, divorce or emotionally disengage. Many, many couples live in 'Emotional Disengagement' for years and years. Emotional Disengagement is insidious. Vote for the outcomes to your relationship, rather than let default decisions blow it up over time, leaving the two of you scurrying around picking up shrapnel from the explosion fall-out.So, let's begin our work together to detoxify the issues and get you closer to your abundant life living - bringing colour back to life - without Shame. Give a little to my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreBritish Podcast Awards 2025: Would you consider voting for this Podcast?https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/votingGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery | Support the show

For this episode, Natalie is joined by the host of the podcast Secret Life, Brianne Davis. Brianne has over 12 years of recovery experience with sex and love addiction and is the author of Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex Addict. Her and Natalie discuss how triggers present themselves in our normal society and how that affects you when you are recovering from codependency, love, or sex addiction. They speak honestly about how they feel they were put on this path to crave love and affection from people who were not capable of giving it and what steps they have taken to heal themselves. A last theme of the episodes is how secrets play a role in how we view our lives and our stories and what secrets hold us back from.Follow us at @menivetoleratedpod on Instagram and https://www.patreon.com/menivetoleratedpod on Patreon for bonus content! All ways to support the show, including our merchandise, can be found at https://linktr.ee/menivetoleratedpod.Find Brianne:Amazon: https://amzn.to/2MjsjvL Website: https://secretlifenovel.com Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/secret-life/id1521171499 Instagram:@thebriannedavis @secretlifenovel @secretlifepodcast Tiktok: @the.briannedavis

Sponsored by Harford County Living When Tanya Gioia's husband got sober five days before Christmas, she thought the hardest part was over—but the real journey had just begun. In this heartfelt conversation, Tanya shares how she navigated life as a wife, mom, and coach while rebuilding trust, setting boundaries, and finding strength through faith. This powerful episode is a must-listen for anyone touched by addiction, codependency, or seeking hope in life's toughest moments. Guest Bio:  Tanya Gioia is a Christian-focused addiction relationship coach dedicated to helping women support loved ones battling addiction. Drawing from her personal experience as a wife of a recovering addict and her own journey of healing from codependency, Tanya empowers women to rediscover their identity, set healthy boundaries, and build resilient families. She is also the host of the Faith Over Addiction podcast. Main Topics: ·         Tanya's family story and her husband's journey to sobriety·         Life on a Colorado farm with kids, animals, and addiction struggles·         The reality of codependency and how it affects relationships·         How faith, community, and positive self-talk played a role in healing·         The importance of boundaries and self-worth in recovery·         Helping children navigate family addiction dynamics·         The role of therapy, EMDR, and spiritual growth in personal healing·         Why women need to reclaim their identity and voice·         Tanya's coaching programs, podcast, and future plans  Resources mentioned: ·         Stephanie's website: https://www.tanyagioia.com/·         Episode Sponsor: Harford County Living·         Supporter: Real Life Prosthetics·         Supporter: Full Circle Boards·         Supporter: Send us a textSupport the showRate & Review on Apple Podcasts Follow the Conversations with Rich Bennett podcast on Social Media:Facebook – Conversations with Rich Bennett Facebook Group (Join the conversation) – Conversations with Rich Bennett podcast group | FacebookTwitter – Conversations with Rich Bennett Instagram – @conversationswithrichbennettTikTok – CWRB (@conversationsrichbennett) | TikTok Sponsors, Affiliates, and ways we pay the bills:Hosted on BuzzsproutRocketbookSquadCast Contests & Giveaways Subscribe by Email

This episode is the perfect pairing for a beach day, chilling poolside or a late night journaling session. For the Clue In Segment, Chidinma shares the upcoming virtual event But What Do I Know? And She Well Read Podcasts: In Conversation With Danielle Allen that is taking place on August 21st. For the Main Conversation, Chidinma is joined by Therapist, Coach and Host of the Black Girls Health Podcast, Shena Lashey. The two discuss the importance of intimacy, how intimacy disorders such as love avoidance and love addiction are developed, particularly in relation to religion and Shena's experience seeking healing from these disorders. The conversation ends with Shena sharing practical tools for navigating these disorders whether single or partnered.  --- Connect with the "But What Do I Know?" Podcast: Instagram Community: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@BWDIKPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to our newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.bwdikpodcast.com/⁠ Register for our virtual event with Author , Danielle Allen: In Conversation With Danielle Allen ---: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect with Shena and Black Girls Heal: Listen To The Podcast: Black Girls Heal Podcast The Website: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/ --- Episode Credits: BWDIK Podcast Theme Music: Produced By Sonix Content Production: In The Know Media Audio Editing and Production: Morgane Chambrin Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In love addiction, we avoid our reality through fantasy and other behaviors that keep us stuck and feeling powerless. But even in recovery, reality becomes overwhelming at times, and we might still find ourselves wanting to check-out and shutdown in order to bypass those feelings. In this episode, Jodi talks about her recent experience with checking-out and attempting to avoid reality; our collective issue with self-esteem; and navigating hopelessness while holding onto empathy. Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Link to Jodi's website and additional resources Books mentioned in this episode: Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody and The Great Work Of Your Life by Stephen Cope Chelsea Handler shared a helpful post regarding "How To Help Texas" that includes resources and where to donate to support flood recovery efforts. In the episode Jodi shares a quote commonly attributed to James Baldwin: “We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist.” After recording, Jodi learned that there is some confusion regarding the actual source. According to Snopes: "It wasn't James Baldwin who said this, but essayist and novelist Robert Jones Jr., who used to write online under the moniker @sonofbaldwin. He wrote and posted these words on X (formerly Twitter) on Aug. 18, 2015." However other online sources continue to report it was actually James Balwin himself.  Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.    

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreShaped by circumstances from birth Picture the new born baby which starts life with innocence and a brain with few impressions. It starts to experience life and living and soon the brain has some impressions and templates being carved out. Good and not so good experiences and impressions. A distorted image develops. The individual distorted image of a male coming with his own unique impressions and experiences of life and the individual distorted image of a female also coming with her own unique impressions and experiences of life, get together (perhaps marry) and become an item. The two distorted images are suppose to live a lifetime together in harmony. Their differing impressions and experiences of life, including the adaptations they have had to make to survive life, may no longer serve them well in the new twosome. Adapt and survive or live with conflict is now the choice. The two individuals look sound from external appearances, but inside they have many unresolved issues. Diagram: Pinch & Crunch (You really need to see the Pinch & Crunch diagram to make sense of this episode. Send me a message to get it, as I cannot add images to the Podcast).We enter relationships at the courting stage, bringing with us all our stuff (good and not so good). We are actually negotiating with each other as we adapt and seek to ascertain whether there are enough common attractions that can hold and carry the relationship. There is a collusive fit which brought us together, but that is not enough to keep us in courtship. If time proves to be a glue, then time may also see the relationship develop to permanency or marriage. A pinch will disrupt harmony and we must decide which option to take to deal with the pinch which has the potential to de-stabilise. Options include fight, flight, separate, divorce, counselling or going back to an earlier stage in the relationship and starting again to renegotiate needs and expectations. Crunches are an even more painful and de- stabilising assaults on the relationship and like pinches, we must choose an option, including doing nothing. Doing nothing is to coast in the relationship. We are then at the mercy of an event in the future which will occur and take the choice out of our hands, so that outcomes are no longer determinable by the parties. Get some help from The Kairos Centre.Give a little to my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreBritish Podcast Awards 2025: Would you consider voting for this Podcast?https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/votingGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | NeurosciSupport the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreHighs and lows of the Couples relationship is a given. What impacts you, may not impact a partner and vice versa. Childhood development personality and characteristic sharping experiences, play a significant part in that process.Sex Addicts need to take their shoes off and step into the shoes of a partner in order to see the relationship from the partner's vantage point and perspective. All clients with Sex and/or Porn Addiction have traits which come from Narcissism. (That does not mean they are necessarily to be diagnosed with NPD - Narcissistic Personality Disorder).Seeing life and the relationship from the vantage point of the impacted partner is going to be very scary for the Addict. It means that they have to set aside Narcissistic tendencies and embrace Empathy for a short while.That really is scary indeed for the Sex/Porn Addict with Narcissistic traits. Most of them believe that they are Empathic and 'do' for others. (I suggest that they are Empathic in a conditional way; only so long as something comes back to reward them for good deeds; but they cannot see it and would strongly object to this statement).I suggest that the antidote to Narcissism is Empathy. They both CANNOT co-exist at a high level of expression in the same person. Just like the same poles of a magnet repel each other, so it is with Narcissism and Empathy. Only one can rule and be (being) used at a higher degree than the other.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Give a little to my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreBritish Podcast Awards 2025: Would you consider voting for this Podcast?https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/votingNow launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Self-Discovery | Healing Journeys | Personal Growth | Intimacy Building | Healthy RelationshiSupport the show

Why do women turn on each other? This important question was posed in a recent Substack article, which addressed what Jodi has been wondering for a long time: Is it envy? Fear? Competition? Patriarchy? All of the above? Regardless of the underlying reasons, we might catch ourselves dismissively believing 'there's just something about her that bothers me' (which then allows us to avoid those underlying reasons and blame the other person). In this episode, Jodi and her friend, Brooke, talk more about all of this. They also discuss the documentary, Call Her Alex, and the aforementioned Substack article by Women Are The Medicine.  Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Link to Jodi's website and additional resources Link to Call Her Daddy on Hulu Link to Substack article by Rachel Lawlan of Women Are The Medicine   Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.  

In this weekly Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Dr. Rob and Tami address the facts about forgiveness, trust, connection and peace, both in the early days of recovery as well as years down the road. They offer strategies for effective in-house separation, call out the warning signs of gaslighting, and get serious about setting feelings aside to start facing the facts.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:30] How can I find an accountability partner for filtering software? [7:20] Is it a slip or a relapse?  [9:20] What are appropriate time frames and factors for recovery?  [14:45] Healing, peace and connection after betrayal.  [19:21] How can I intimately connect with my spouse after my betrayal?  [25:47] I caught my husband in the middle of his lies. Now what?  [33:24] Are there options for inpatient treatment for betrayed partners?  [38:20] Strategies for effective in-house separation. [39:45] My husband wants to leave to find external validation, I want him to stay. What do I do?  [44:53] Is my betraying partner gaslighting me through recovery too? [50:19] Is it normal for the betraying spouse to be terrified of formal disclosure?  [54:17] How can we stay together without trust? [58:15] It's been 5 years since D-day and I'm finally ready to move out. How can I stay strong in my decision?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “Life is full of triggers. What is it that you're going to do about your triggers?” “You will never trust in the same way again. But to be at peace is a whole different thing.”  “Intimacy is revealing yourself emotionally, and ultimately, sexually as well.”  “Honesty is the crux of recovery. You cannot be in recovery and constantly lying about everything.”  “Feelings aren't facts. In recovery, your feelings are less relevant than the facts of what you're going through.”   

In this weekly Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Dr. Rob and Tami address participant questions about sex, intimacy, betrayal, and addiction. They answer questions about finding peace with yourself in the midst of rage and repulsion, choosing recovery and allowing the process of forgiveness to play out, and how to find hope in the midst of betrayal.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:00] Forgiveness is a process and recovery is a choice.  [7:01] Are you taking care of your spouse while you're dying inside?  [12:26] Is in-house separation the next right step?  [18:18] My husband's betrayal has created chronic triggers in me. Now what?  [26:56] Finding hope in the midst of betrayal.  [27:44] What therapy is available to my lying partner?  [36:16] What can I do to grow my emotional maturity when I'm stressed?  [41:31] How can I move beyond my rage and repulsion at my betraying partner?  [49:28] How do you know when your partner is serious about change or just going through the motions?  [54:05] I have so much rage and I want revenge. How can I fix this?  [57:44] Should I know what my partner's arousal template is?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “Begging for forgiveness is not respecting the other person because they need to hurt for a while.”  “You're the one with the problem if you still let him in your bed.”  “Women are not the problem. Your cheating husband is the problem.”  “Whatever the other person does, you have to be strong enough to say ‘I am worth more'.”  “Don't ask ‘how can I not feel this way?' Ask ‘how can I be at peace with myself?'”

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWe fall in love with 'Differenceness' and 'Sameness'. Over the years, we can become dissatisfied with the unconscious differences of a partner, that is now in the conscious. So we set about trying to change them to be more like us, since those visible and conscious differences are no longer seemingly acceptable or wanted. We consciously now only want the sameness bits. So the fight over the toilet seat (up or down), and the top off the toothpaste, is in full flow. Yet, it has nothing to do with the toilet seat or the toothpaste (which 'breaks the camel's back') - causing us to retreat from the relationship.Here is a little of what Authors Jacobs, Dicks & Scarff have to say: "Unconscious attraction: Choice or chemistry: we are not aware of it. At an unconscious level we often pick and are picked out by a partner who has had similar earlier life experiences. They may have dealt with these experiences in an opposite way. Unconscious choice of a partner is based on similarity. It may feel that you "complete each other" or have found your "other half........When couples unconsciously choose each other it may be as a second chance to play out old conflicts (from childhood) which were not successfully managed the first time around".We choose partners & are chosen by partners at both conscious & conscious levels.Counselling may explore the idea of "chemistry" between two people: how two people "fit" together to form a "whole".Hendrix & LaKelly add their worth by suggesting:"The Search For "One and Only": So how does this information add to our understanding of romantic attraction? We seem to be highly selective in our choice of mates. In fact, we appear to be searching for a "one and only" with a very specific set of positive and negative traits....... we are each looking for someone who has the predominant character traits of the people who raised us....it is a compelling need to heal old childhood wounds". Aren't we strange and fickle people - us human beings? Might AI do it better for us - partner choice I mean?British Podcast Awards 2025: Would you consider voting for this Podcast?https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/votingGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | RelaSupport the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreEarly relationships (often with our parents) has a very powerful impact on the blueprint of partner choice. They are unconsciously looked at as being able to repair those childhood wounds. We often seek a blueprint that “fits” ours.When we meet a potential partner, we have an opportunity to re-Attach to a loved person, just like (or better than) the Attachment bonding we had with our parents when we were young. A 'someone' we feel safe with and gives us other familiar feelings which usually make us feel comfortable and have a sense of belonging.We tend to idealise our partners initially. In time, we get very disappointed when they do not live up to our expectations. We feel very let down.Both, may have had Attachment issues from childhood and have separation anxiety, but they may have different coping styles. At some point, when repeated conflict arises, questions and doubt also surface like:“This is not the person I thought I had married.” After the shock, comes denial. The disappointment is so great that you don't allow yourself to see the truth. You do your best to see your partner's negative traits in a positive light. Eventually, however, the denial can no longer be sustained. You feel betrayed.We fall in love with 'sameness' and 'differenceness'. This is why we find “opposites attract”. We are unconsciously searching for and eventually think that we have found 'the one'; our 'other half/better half!'.It should be remembered that all couple fits, serve an emotional and psychological purpose. They are there to provide comfort, a sense of security and wholeness. We are not always aware of our fit until it is challenged or disrupted. Do any of these seem familiar in your relationship?:Babes in the Wood: Cling together in the face of the odds. Unconscious rejection; repressed anger within the relationship; expressed anger at people outside the relationship. They often look the same and will behave in a likeable, affable manner. A couple such as this see all the bad things in the world as belonging in the outside world and not part of themselves. They keep anything bad out of their relationship. The world literally is a “big bad wolf”.Net and Sword: The ‘net' shows all the love & tries to encompass, control or placate the sword. Conscious rejection; deny need or yearning for other. Relationship works well until one partner owns up to their denied feelings & decides they will not be responsible for the others unexpressed feelings. One partner shows all the love and the other, all the rejection. One person expresses all the denied emotions that the other cannot or will not express. This relationship works well until one partner owns up to their denied feelings and decides they will not be responsible for the others unexpressed feelings, often plunging the other into confusion or profound feelings of loss.  Cat and Dog: Characterised by anger, rejection and other destructive emotions. Both are only conscious of the bad in each other, but often will not part because they fear they cannot or will not be able to find a relationship with anybody better. This relationship is characterised by anger, rejection and a host of other destructive emotions. Both are only conscious of the bad in each other and their lives seem like a war zone. Intimacy is regulated by conflict and they often will not part because they fear they cannot or will not be able to find a relationship with anybody better. (I call this one "Tom & Jerry" - characterised by a never-ending chase and never catching the other)Support the show

Delanie Fischer is joined by Steve Moore (Certified: Sex Addiction Therapist, Partner Trauma Therapist, Multiple Addictions Therapist) and Mark Kastleman (Board-Certified: Clinical Chaplain and Pastoral Counselor), co-hosts of The PBSE Podcast (Porn, Betrayal, Sex, and the Experts), to share their personal experiences with pornography and sexual addiction—including root causes, signs and symptoms, raw inner dialogue around the behaviors, their recovery process and its impact on their marriages, and how they help others heal. The stats say—you, or someone you know, is likely struggling with this. Parents, partners, and porn consumers—don't miss this episode.Plus:+ A Shocking Stat About Porn and Divorce+ How Addictive Is This Porn Thing, Really?+ 3 Key Warning Signs You Shouldn't IgnoreMore episodes related to this topic:Sex and Love Addiction with Sex Addiction Therapist, Alex Katehakis: https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/episodes/episode/316e9795/sex-and-love-addiction-with-sex-addiction-therapist-alex-katehakis7 Shocking Truths About Codependency And Addiction with Heidi Rain: https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/episodes/episode/24c74079/7-shocking-truths-about-codependency-and-addiction-with-heidi-rainThe Psychological Impact of Gaslighting with Dr. Stephanie Sarkis: https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/episodes/episode/2a31527c/the-psychological-impact-of-gaslighting-with-dr-stephanie-sarkisSupport the podcast, vote on topics, and more: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelplessYour Host, Delanie Fischer: https://www.delaniefischer.com* In this episode, we explore the mental health impacts of porn addiction and the path to recovery.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Emotional abuse is far too common and yet it can be difficult to recognize, because it's subtle at first and often covert. It can deplete a person's self esteem and simultaneously create dependence upon the abusive partner, which blurs reality and makes it hard to leave. But what is emotional abuse and how can we recover from an emotionally abusive relationship? In this episode, Jodi talks with therapist and author, Leah Aguirre, LCSW, about her new book, Is This Really Love? Recognizing When You're  in a Coercive, Controlling, and Emotionally Abusive Relationship--and How to Break Free. Jodi shares a story about her first addictive relationship and Leah talks about the aha moment that led her to leave an emotionally abusive partner. Jodi and Leah also discuss coercion and control; personality traits of an emotional abuser; and relationship green flags (signs that a relationship or partner is safe). Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Link to Jodi's website and additional resources Leah's website and Instagram Link to order Is This Really Love? Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.  

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreAt the beginning of the couples therapy session, I like to ask a first question - 'How did you guys meet?' Telling the story will reveal the greater truth about where the couple are at in the conflict. Has the loving got snuffed out or is there a glimmer of light that may still be turned up. Is there a split agenda? Are there ulterior motives for one or both turning up for counselling? Has the conflict become entrenched and each dug in for a war of attrition?We can teach our brains to say the right think, that we are expected to say, but often that is not the full truth! Just like the reply to the question - 'How are you doing?'  - evokes a knee jerk automatic answer - 'I am fine thank you'.Body language will give a more truthful answer as to where the couple are at and more accurately represent what is really going on in the heart.Telling the story of 'how did you meet' - will give a helpful calibration of where the couple are at and the nature of the work to follow, because of the toll the conflict has taken, before they sought help. As human beings, we tend to push it too far before reaching out for the help that we knew that we needed long ago.At The Kairos Centre, we use less 'Talk Therapy' and more sculpting with representative visual objects, to get to what the heart is really saying. It really is 'a heart thing'. The heart tends to tell the truth, if you can get to it. We get to it at The Kairos Centre. Then we know how to move forward with the work of counselling - with truth as the focus - not unconscious half-truths!Journey with us to reclaim your life, bring colour to life, without shame.Here is my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpThe world's first Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme. Would you vote for us in the British Podcasts Award? https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/votingGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Self-Discovery | Healing Journeys | Personal Growth | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships | Empowerment | Support the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreClient, choose your Therapist carefully. It makes a big difference to outcomes.In 2024 the British Association for Counsellors and Psychotherapy (BACP) released an Ethical framework for working with Addictions and also a set of 'Addictions competence framework' for counsellors working with or intending to work with Compulsions and Addictions. I guess it did so for a reason.Compulsions and Addictions Therapy is a specialised area of work. There is a need to ensure Counsellors and Therapists achieve minimal standards for working with such clients.These are some of the Foundational competences:Knowledge competences - knowledge and understanding of addictionsKnowledge of the range of addictions services and treatment options availableknowledge and understanding of recovery in addictions counsellingKnowledge of engagement issues specific to addictions counsellingKnowledge and understanding of the impact of co-occurring mental and physical health issues and addiction problemsMeta-competences: "Meta-competences encompass aspects of abstract clinical judgment required to decide when to implement different elements of the addictions counselling competence framework, and how and apply them in a coherent and informed manner."Ethical Framework: "....The framework sets out the knowledge, skills and abilities required for counsellors and psychotherapists to work safely and effectively with adults living with addiction.….."Therapists - 'at least do no harm'.The Kairos Centre has all the Competences to come alongside you on your journey to reclaiming your life, bring colour to life, without shame.Here is my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpThe world's first Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme. Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners)Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Self-Discovery | Healing Journeys | Personal Growth | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships | Empowerment | obsessive Thoughts | Minfulness | S

We get to visit the world of Joe Goldberg one last time. The final season of YOU is out and from literacy and to love addiction, there is so much to chat about. We are so glad Joe is fictional, but that won't stop us from missing this character.Email us: KillerFunPodcast@gmail.comFollow us on Facebook: fb.me/KillerFunPodcastAll the Tweets, er, POSTS: https://x.com/KillerFunPodInstagram: killerfunpodcast

"I'm okay as long as you're okay with me": If our wellbeing is dependent upon another person, their opinion of us, or external validation, we are other-esteeming (looking for security outside of ourselves). This is considered emotional dependence, and it plays a big role in love addiction. In this episode, Jodi talks with Allen Berger, PhD, therapist and author of "12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety". Dr. Berger defines emotional dependence, explains why it happens, and what emotional sobriety can look like.  Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Link to Jodi's website and additional resources Link to Dr. Berger's website and his book 12 Insights for Emotional Sobriety Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

Robert Palmer said it best when he sang about being addicted to love!However, addiction of any kind can rob you of good judgement.An addiction to love can ironically have a negative impact on your most important relationships.What are the most common signs of love addiction?How can you use CBT tools to help you have a more balanced view of love?Join me, Dr Julie, as I share with you some profound but simple insights and tools that can help you have healthier, more fulfilling relationships.Click to listen now! Visit us on Instagram at MyCBTPodcast Or on Facebook at Dr Julie Osborn Subscribe to the podcast at Apple Podcasts Email us at mycbtpodcast@gmail.com Find some fun CBT tools at https://www.mycbt.store/ Thanks for listening to My CBT Podcast!

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhen there is conflict in the couples relationship, sex and intimacy becomes the first casualty which fly out the window. It is very difficult (sometimes feels impossible) to physically touch the person with whom you are in conflict.Yet, touch is exactly what you need to do to begin to break down the walls set in place by conflict. Touch is then so very, very impossible to do.The antidote is to learn to do physical (non-sexual) touch with the person with whom you are in conflict, in order to begin to break down the walls of hostility. But it is hard. "Boy is it hard". But a prize awaits you.Try it. Throw caution to the wind and dive in - with physical (non-sexual) touch. Overcome yourself. Overcome pride. Get you and your ego out of the way. Just do it.Don't talk. Just touch. Just embrace - if you dare. The other person may not welcome your endeavours - initially. (Be warned).Expect the bucking horse. "Get off me. What are you doing. Leave me alone". Its going to happen! Hold on in there for dear life and eventually the bucking horse will reduce. Will calm. Don't talk. Expect the intimidation - which goes with our current culture - "You need to respect my space". There is a prize if you can stay in there. It's worth it.Even as I write these words, I am intimidated because the naysayers in our current culture will be getting ready to chastise me with their disagreement. (The insistence that we must respect another's space and not intrude). That is powerful intimidation.Psychosexual Therapy (I just call it Sex Therapy) with The Kairos Centre, is not about sex. The first thing that we do is to ban sexual intercourse. Then teach how to rebuild intimacy, sensuality and romance at a higher level.Done well, it paves the way for the couple to naturally want to consummate the rebuilt relationship, by progressing to a sexual expression. At that point, I am getting ready to come out of their lives and leave them with the next 80 years to practice this thing called sex!Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Self-Discovery | Healing Journeys | Personal Growth | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships | Empowerment | obsessive T

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreUnresolved issues; unprocessed childhood issues, loose canons, unpotted snooker balls - are some of the terms that I use, for the process of work that I do multiple times every day with clients - using EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing).Another analogy that I use (but please don't tell my EMDR colleagues that I described it to you like this)! It is as if you own an 8 bedroom mansion house; but for some reason, over lots of years, you never go into 3 of the bedrooms. Over time, the things in those 3 bedrooms (just like many attics), gather cobwebs and dust and are hidden.When Eye Movement begins - known as BLS (Bilateral Stimulation) - it is as if the brain goes into those 3 bedrooms and begins to remove the drapes, blow away the cobbwebbs and finds thing that you did not remember about. You may let out a shriek or exclamation (inside of you and unconsciously). It might sound like this:"....oh my goodness. Oh look. I had forgotten about that. But if that was present at the time of [the negative event] that which I have been carrying all these years, about the event, can't be entirely accurate! I now need to integrate the stuff found in those 3 bedrooms - into my view of the past event. That means I can't continue to see it quite the same way any more, because the stuff I can now see and better understand, is giving me a different/ more accurate knowledge about the events; which was not a full picture that I carried all these years. That makes sense, since the Limbic/Emotional part of the brain must have been making all the decisions during the negative impactful event; the logical reasoning/Pre-Cortex part of the brain would have gone off-line and major decisions being taken based on feelings. I feel, so I do...." Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Here is my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreNow launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Self-Discovery | Healing

In love addiction, we may find ourselves feeling betrayed by a partner-- even if we don't know for sure that something is going on--while doubting our instincts, believing we're too sensitive, and giving an emotionally unavailable partner the benefit of the doubt. This feeling adds to our anxiety, and whatever information a partner is withholding adds to the dysfunction of the relationship...and we stay in the cycle of love addiction hoping things will change. In this episode Jodi talks with betrayal trauma therapist, Lindsay Haverslew, about the reality of betrayal trauma. Jodi and Lindsay share personal experiences with betrayal, and discuss signs that a partner is emotionally unavailable, tips for identifying a trustworthy person, and much more.  Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Link to Jodi's website and additional resources Lindsay's website and instagram Lindsay mentioned the work of Jennifer Freyd and Dr. Kevin Skinner and the book Unleashing Your Power  Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

This is a special tribute episode to the work of Pia Mellody who passed away May 7th at the age of 82. Pia was a pioneer in the field of trauma and addiction recovery; she developed a groundbreaking model of treatment, and authored several books including Facing Love Addiction and Facing Codependence.  Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Link to Jodi's website and additional resources Links to Facing Codependence, Facing Love Addiction and The Intimacy Factor by Pia Mellody Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreHave you heard the Joke about the bride who learned her script for what she had to remember on the wedding day - as: 1) Aisle   2) Altar   3) HymnWhat has shaped you to be doing life how you are doing life? So often, it is about those childhood development years and what got set up as templates, to create those hamster wheel patters of repeat behaviour; those habits - otherwise called Neural Pathway.They where carved out by the brain (which does not like upset and so, to get us back into homeostasis); but they are not always the best choices of activities; yet seem to 'work' back there in childhood and in the families that we are a part of - to mange our interaction. So, since they 'worked ' and are on repeat, we take the repeat practiced behaviours - now well entrenched - with us into adulthood and are a grown up version of childhood practices. In adulthood and the new couple relationship (different to the growing up family environment), the brain experiences something that looks or feels similar to a past negatively experienced childhood pattern and so is triggered to respond in the same way. "...but brain, this is a different person. This isn't those people back in childhood who destabilised me. The situation is different" - makes no difference to the brain. It goes into autonomic response.You may not see or realise the similar repeat behaviours being done in adulthood - as being similar to how you did them in childhood - because they are unconscious.Couples counselling with The Kairos Centre is not about saving marriages or relationships. It is about helping you to better understand you. To move issues from the unseen, the invisible, the unconscious, into the seen, the visible, the conscious.When you can better see and understand stuff (because you have moved them into focus and put a highlighter pen through them) now you are in a position to effect change. You have stepped onto the change continuum.Know, however, that you cannot effect immediate (end-point) change. After-all, they were hamster wheel repetitive habit behaviours for decades. It is a journey. No quick fixes.Change has, however, began, because you had no hope of changing what you could not see or understand, until you can see and understand them! They were just you, being you, doing life how you do life - 'what's the problem. The other person is the problem'.If you change, then the other person has to change. They cannot keep doing what they have repeatedly done, because you have changed and are no longer in the same place to be the recipient of their behaviours and at some point they have to change in response to your change; but their change may not be the required positive change, without some help. Get it!Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authent

In this weekly Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Tami and Erin Snow answer participant questions about sex, intimacy, addiction, betrayal, and more. They consider timelines in recovery, what full disclosure entails, and how to know if your partner is an addict or just a full-blown jerk, or both.    TAKEAWAYS: [:30] Is this seminar only for partners experiencing betrayal?  [3:55] How do I know if my partner is an addict or just an a**hole?  [7:25] How should I define my inner circle behaviors after chem sex recovery?  [12:09] My wife can't get over my affair, it's already been 10 months.  [19:50] Can I trust that my husband suddenly has no urges to act out?  [27:10] My husband says he'll tell me anything that I ask him about. Was his disclosure incomplete?  [31:52] Do you suggest a 12-Step program for the betrayed partner? It's not my fault!  [35:55] Can you clarify between a porn addict and a sex/love addict?  [44:10 How long does recovery take on average?  [49:19] Can recovery happen without a formal 12-Step program?   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “She's not going to believe that you're not sexually attracted to them when she doesn't believe anything you say right now.”  “The action that it takes to rebuild trust takes time.”  “You may not be enmeshed in your partner's behavior, but you are deeply involved.”  “What matters most is the quality of the time that you are spending on your own individual work to heal and to rebuild trust.” 

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreOver 90% of couples that The Kairos Centre counsel, are in conflict because Core Emotional Needs are not being met. Some of those Core Emotional Needs are such things as lack of Security, Respect, Comfort, Affection, Respect.They are not negotiable human needs. They want to be met and we will fight/flight/freeze to get them met. We do an interesting exercise with Couples and Singles to identify their Core Emotional Needs.Commit to a Couples Recovery Programme like The Kairos Centre Video-On-Demand Relationship Program which you can cover at your leisure from the comfort of your own home, at your pace. You receive a workbook and can book Homework Review sessions as and when you desire, so that you have a sense of someone being alongside you on your journey.Let's move as much of the stuff from the unconscious; from the unseen; from the invisible; from the unknown; into the conscious; the seen; the visible; the known.Now that you can better see and understand the issues, you now get a chance to begin working through the issues - with some help. Get off the hamster wheel of habits, template behaviours, entrenched neutral pathways.Change your trajectory. Change begins because you can now see the problem. It can never be the same again. You are now on the change continuum, even if only at step one = Insight; step two = understanding.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Here is my fund raising page. Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpThe world's first Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme. email info@kairos-centre.comNow launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Porn Causes | Recover from Addiction | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Childhood Trauma | Inner Child work | Childhood Development and Addiction bullying | Porn Addiction Recovery | Abuse | Sexual Abuse | Sex Addiction Recovery | Domestic Violence | Family Conflict | Overcoming Porn addiction | Porn Addiction Side effects | Porn Addiction Symptoms | Emotional Neglect | Quit Porn Addiction | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Mental Health and Addiction | Dissociation | Anger | Husband has porn | Recovery Program | 12 Steps Program | EMDR | Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing | Compulsive Behavior | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | The Kairos Centre | Neuroscience of Addiction | Porn Addiction Help | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Authentic Self Discovery | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Fantasy Escape | Codependency | Shame in Addiction | Guilt in Addiction | Addiction in Relationship | Infidelity | Therapy for Addiction | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Self-Discovery | Healing Journeys | Personal Growth | Intimacy Building | Healthy Relationships | Empowerment | obsessive Thoug

In this weekly Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Dr. Rob Weiss and Tami answer participant questions about sex, intimacy, addiction, betrayal, and more. They offer resources for therapeutic separation, communication at every stage of recovery and reconciliation, and tools for practicing empathy with betrayed partners.    TAKEAWAYS: [:24] Does my partner need to see a psychoanalyst first to get honest about his past?  [4:28] What resources are available for communication building in the later stages of recovery and reconciliation?  [9:17] How can I work to regain trust after recent relapses?  [13:35] How do I start the amends process with my betrayed spouse?  [17:43] Why do betrayers have to go to Porn Addiction 101 through Seeking Integrity?  [22:10] How can I handle my ex's new girlfriend joining the family?  [24:30] What does loving detachment really look like?  [30:51] Can addicts and their partners heal outside the therapeutic setting?  [34:20] What is the correlation between sex addiction and OCD?  [36:41] How can I feel safe even though I have forgiven my partner?  [41:05] What tools can an addict use to practice empathy with their partner?  [42:25] What resources are available to get CSAT couples on the same page regarding key terms?  [47:00] My partner's blameshifting and defensiveness is escalating in therapeutic separation, what should I do next?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “Stop the problematic behavior first, then address the underlying issues.”  “I'm never in the later stages of recovery. Recovery is something I will do for my whole life.”  “Your living amends happens when you act differently.”  “If the worst thing happens, what are you going to do to take care of you?” 

In this episode, we're breaking down the subtle but dangerous ways narcissists use coercive control in conversations to manipulate, destabilize, and maintain dominance over others. If you've ever walked away from a conversation feeling mentally foggy, emotionally drained, or questioning your own thoughts, you may have been subjected to narcissistic coercion without even realizing it. Coercive control is a form of psychological abuse that narcissists use to undermine your confidence, distort your reality, and keep you second-guessing yourself. Unlike overt aggression, these tactics often fly under the radar, making them difficult to recognize until the damage is already done. What You'll Learn in This Episode: How narcissists use rapid-fire questioning to overwhelm you, keep you off balance, and push you into emotional dysregulation. Why gaslighting is a core tool in coercive conversations and how it causes you to doubt your memory, perception, and even your sanity. The subtle way narcissists withhold information, distort facts, or contradict themselves to create confusion and maintain power over the narrative. How guilt, shame, and fear are weaponized in conversation to manipulate you into compliance and emotional submission. Why they interrupt, talk over you, or shift blame to prevent you from asserting yourself and setting boundaries. The Psychological Impact of Coercive Control Research shows that victims of coercive control often experience chronic stress, anxiety, low self-esteem, and cognitive dissonance—the mental discomfort caused by holding contradictory beliefs. Over time, these conversations can leave you feeling powerless, disconnected from your own thoughts, and emotionally dependent on the narcissist for validation and approval. But knowledge is power. Once you learn to recognize these tactics, you can stop engaging in their games and take back control of your own mind. Breaking Free from the Cycle Healing from narcissistic coercion requires self-awareness, emotional detachment, and boundary-setting. In this episode, we'll discuss practical strategies to help you: Stay grounded and recognize when a conversation is designed to manipulate you. Trust your own perception rather than seeking validation from the narcissist. Respond with clarity and confidence instead of falling into the trap of emotional reactivity. Use gray rock and other disengagement techniques to limit their control over your thoughts and emotions. If you've ever struggled to hold your own in conversations with a narcissist, this episode is for you. Understanding their tactics is the first step to reclaiming your voice, your confidence, and your emotional independence. Tune in now, and let's expose the mind games so you can break free from the cycle of coercive control once and for all! Become immune to narcissists by healing the unhealed wounds that make so many of us more vulnerable to their abuse. The 12 Week Breakthrough Coaching Program is the healing method and modality that has helped thousands stop falling for narcissists. https://www.lisaaromano.com/12-wbcp To learn more, contact Lisa and her team members here; Contact Website Spotify Award Winning Books  Facebook Support Group        

Music has the power to shape moods and moments; but do you ever wonder what shaped the music? Or what someone had to experience in order to bring one of your favorite songs or albums into the world? In this episode, Jodi talks with singer-songwriter, Kelly Willis. Jodi shares the personal significance of Kelly's album, 'What I Deserve' and how it provided hope during a particularly painful time in her life; and Kelly discusses how her childhood as an army brat, growing up without her mother, and early disappointments in the music industry shaped that album. Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Link to Jodi's website and additional resources Read Army Brat by Kelly Willis (and subscribe to her Substack) Link to Kelly's website Listen to What I Deserve by Kelly Willis  Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

Troy Love and Tami answer participant questions about attachment wounds, shame, healthy boundaries, and the reality that an addict is always going to be an addict. It's only how they chose to move forward in recovery that will change their life for better.    TAKEAWAYS: [:30] My partner betrayed me and now we live like roommates. How can I refine myself whether I stay or go?  [6:27] How can I stop judging myself for staying?  [10:01] My wife doesn't think I'm working hard enough in recovery. Is there a timeline we should know about?  [17:09] Will I ever be able to live my life without triggers?  [21:55] Are men and women meant to be in marital couples? It appears to be societal not biological.  [24:40] How can I engage in healthy sexual activity, without blurring the lines between the patterns of my unhealthy sexual behavior?  [30:16] I'm not sure my spouse is even sober, which treatment group is right for him?  [34:03] How can I address the pain of recovery preemptively before I move to soothe by acting out?  [38:42] My partner is still acting out and even harming others. How can I move forward?  [41:19] My avoidant attachment style is making connection feel non-exisistent.  [45:54] Has Seeking Integrity considered having a moderator who is a betrayed partner?  [47:51] If relationships are so painful, why don't we tell people that relationships aren't for everyone?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “Wounds need to be healed regardless of what choice you make about staying in a relationship.”  “Every partner wants it to be all better right now, and that's just not reality. You will always be an addict.”  “Shame is going to unravel connection faster than anything else.”  “We all have attachment wounds, and they are going to get bumped.” 

Dr. Rob and Tami answer participant questions about rebuilding trust through intimate conversations, ideas for setting healthy boundaries after betrayal, and the danger of an addict swearing that they're done acting out for the rest of their life.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:15] Current and upcoming resources at Seeking Integrity.  [3:20] Do sponsees pay upfront or make monthly payments?  [4:45] Are there agnostic 12 Step programs?  [8:22] Ideas for connection activities that rebuild trust?  [16:01] My husband is attending groups to placate me but is not participating. Is this normal?  [20:04] Setting healthy boundaries after betrayal.  [21:35] What are the statistics surrounding porn sobriety?  [24:15] The danger of swearing that you'll never act out ever again.  [31:39] You are the only person that can take care of you. [33:30] Don't believe an addict when they are love-bombing you. [36:41] Are 30% of men on dating sites really already married?  [40:32] Recommended sources for healing the shame of my partner's betrayal?  [49:52] Is there a way to engage in self sexuality that would not be considered acting out?  [53:40] What is the recommended protocol for moving through fallout from a therapeutic disclosure?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “When people come together and try to support each other and find a way to heal as a group, to me, that is a spiritual experience.”  “To understand what I'm going through and really listen to me, that is intimacy.”  “The only thing I can guarantee is that I'm consistently working on this and I'm committed to it.”  “You are the only person that can take care of you.”   

What does it mean to be "good"? Unfortunately, for women, being seen as "good" often requires conforming and playing along vs standing up for one's values or against wrongdoing--if you've seen the movie Wicked, you know how this story goes. In this episode, Jodi begins the process of imperfectly unpacking what she's learned throughout nearly a decade of recovery (and 55 years of life): the insidious power of cultural messages; why being seen as a "good girl" can feel so important, but keeps us stuck; and how all of this prevents us from speaking up, being real, and getting to know our true strength.  Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Link to Jodi's website and additional resources Read Jodi's blog  Jodi mentioned the book Ready to Heal by Kelly McDaniel Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.                  

Debbie McRae and Tami tackle ‘betrayal brain', the intrusive thoughts, and emotional flooding that often accompany betrayal. When the brain is in survival mode, neurological and psychological effects are out of the betrayed partner's control. They discuss tactics to regain control when the brain is hijacked.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:26] When betrayal occurs, the architecture of the brain is reshaped.  [4:50] Warning signs of betrayal brain.  [5:46] Four areas of the brain are affected by betrayal.  [10:45] Triggers can occur even when the relationship feels safe.  [12:07] Regaining control when the brain is hijacked.  [25:37] Self-compassion practices and therapy after betrayal.  [27:30] The betrayed partner has no control over how the brain is going to react. [31:41] Keeping regulation expectations simple. [33:54] Does my PTSD and anxiety make it harder to overcome betrayal brain?  [40:12] What boundaries can I enact with a sex addict who is breaking the law? [46:17] Handling abandonment to create safety.  [49:10] How can I increase my functionality to what it was before PTSD?   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “When betrayal occurs, it shatters trust in an instant.” “Even neutral interactions that the betrayed partner is experiencing can be triggering.”  “The betrayed partner has no control over how the brain is going to react when it senses threat.”  “Self care is brain care.”   

Dr. Rob and Tami tackle hard questions about sex and intimacy in the wake of betrayal. They cover the role of a spouse in supporting their partner ‘for better and for worse”, how to set boundaries that take care of you first, and addressing the trauma and intrusive thoughts that often come after disclosure.    TAKEAWAYS: [:20] Where do personal responsibility and societal norms come into play?  [7:27] A spouse's job is to take care of themselves. [12:30] How can I deal with my trauma and intrusive thoughts about my partner's acting out?  [18:56] Acknowledging the level of troubled your partner really is.  [23:07] How can we connect through non-sexual intimacy? [30:02] Is it common for people with addictions to seek out others with similar problems?  [38:42] Does our marriage counselor also need to be a CSAT?  [41:42] My spouse is refusing a polygraph test. How can I ever trust him?  [46:50] Should I address porn viewing or obsessive masturbation first?  [49:47] My partner has been with underage girls. How do I handle this?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “As an addict, I need people to support me and relate to me, but as a spouse, that's not your job.”  “Addicts are not bad people. They're broken people.”  “If I fight my addict, I'm going to lose every time.”  “The more questions you ask, the more questions it will bring up.”  ‘Express what you need but don't blame if you're not getting it.”   

Emotional dysregulation, compulsive behavior and obsessive thoughts: if you've struggled with love addiction, all of this might sound very familiar...but these are also symptoms of ADHD. Is there a connection? In this episode, Jodi talks with Aly Dearborn, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist with specialized training in recognizing female presentations of ADHD and Austism. Aly and Jodi discuss the shared symptoms of love addiction, ADHD and Autism; the estrogen connection and why girls and women are often misdiagnosed; and Aly shares her personal experience with love addiction and being an adult diagnosed ADHD/Autistic. Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Link to Jodi's website and additional resources More resources and information about Aly Dearborn can be found here Aly mentioned the work of Bo Forbes Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.    

Therapist Erin Snow shares insights into addiction, betrayal, boundaries and healing. She underscores the impact of addiction in the workplace, the importance of setting boundaries after betrayal, the realities of weaponizing sex in a partnership, and why betrayed partners often pursue safety seeking behaviors during healing.    TAKEAWAYS: [2:05] How addiction manifests in the workplace.  [5:17] My husband is SA genetic – is nature or nurture going to win out?  [9:45] The intimacy disorder underneath compulsive sexual behavior.  [11:32] Healthy goals for a successful separation from an addicted partner.  [17:18] The benefits of a period of separation in the healing journey.  [19:00] Can married sex addicts use their spouses to act out even if they don't have extramarital affairs?  [24:45] My partner threatens to leave me if I don't give her what she wants. What should I do?  [25:30] My partner doesn't like to talk about consequences if he acts out. What can I do?  [29:45] How can I turn away from shame and toward growth and healing?  [33:14] Should I report my ex to help keep women safe? [39:17] Is lying an inner circle behavior? [45:20] Should I hire a polygraph test to help me heal from my partner's lying behavior?  [50:49] My partner is not being fully honest in therapy. What should I tell her CSAT to help us both?  [52:34] Should I stop snooping even though I continually uncover my partner's lies?   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “Our willingness to change dramatically shifts when the consequences are more painful than continuing is.”  “The person who is willing to stop and turn around and stare that generational pattern in the face and is willing to do the work can break the cycle for generations to come.”  “Let each other go, or get a really solid plan together for the time that you're separated.”  “Your boundaries are about what you are going to do, and they require your partner to do nothing.”  “I don't have to have some kind of proof that something is dramatically off to set a boundary so that I feel safer.”   

Therapist Debbie McRae discusses options for the betrayed partner when the betraying partner is stalling or not fully in recovery. She offers tactics for partners who are stuck in the cycle of fear and uncertainty and are ready to regain control in healthy ways while seeking safety after betrayal.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:05] Common recovery limbo scenarios and what each one means.  [4:33] Recovery limbo happens when the betraying partner won't take responsibility for their behavior.  [7:25] Seven signs that your addict partner is struggling with recovery.  [9:23] Six strategies for regaining healthy control after betrayal. [13:14] Setting boundaries for effectively reestablishing safety.  [21:06] The importance of a healthy support group and self-care in recovery.  [25:26] Betrayed partners need therapy too.  [29:21] What to do after you've tried unhealthy safety seeking.  [31:42] The thought of physical intimacy gives me the ick feeling. How can I begin to heal?  [37:13] Connecting with your spouse about physical intimacy outside the bedroom.  [39:04] At what in point in recovery is couples counseling recommended?  [45:05] The value of releasing information in couples therapy.  [46:11] My CSAT wants to bring my betraying partner into our session. Is that odd?  [50:45] My partner is an avoidant porn addict, is psychoanalysis recommended?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “True recovery requires that the addict partner have that intrinsic motivation to heal their addiction.”  “You have to be, as a betrayed partner, really open and honest and authentic about your boundaries.”  “The goal of a boundary consequence is not punishment, it's creating safety.”  “Don't just identify as a betrayed partner. You have to hold onto you as well.”   

We live in a time of constant communication and short-form media, with unlimted data at our fingertips and an abundance of "experts" at the ready. While this access to information and opinions is functional at times, it can also feel overwhelming and lead to dysregulation, regression and dysfunctional behavior. So how do we handle this? In this episode, Jodi discusses the the importance of discernment and the power of pausing; why the symptoms of codependence and love addiction lead to undervaluing our instincts while overvaluing the opinions of others; and how pausing can reveal the most useful information of all. Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Link to Jodi's website and additional resources Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody Here's a very handy feelings wheel @ feelingswheel.com Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

Dr. Rob Weiss and Tami answer participant questions about the importance of combining sex and drug addictions in treatment and recovery, the danger of staying stuck in the rage phase, and who you have control over in healing and recovery (it's you and only you!).    TAKEAWAYS: [:55] Does ‘vanilla' porn really affect our relationship? I don't believe it's hurting my partner. [5:53] What are the major differences between sex addiction treatment/recovery and drug addiction treatment/recovery?  [12:25] The importance of tackling both sex and drugs in addiction treatment and recovery.  [15:40] I'm stuck in the rage phase - how can I decide to heal or leave?  [23:05] You cannot drag someone else into healing, but you can heal YOU.  [27:18] My partner is so ill that I can't help him anymore. What do I do now?  [35:24] Why do so many CSATs coddle their patients?  [41:11] My partner recently uncovered childhood sexual trauma. What should come first - couples therapy or CSAT work?  [46:48] Can my partner pray his way out of addiction? [49:35] Write this down - there is nothing I have ever done or am currently doing or will ever do to make my partner act out.    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “If you have a sex addiction, I don't want you to stop having sex. I want you to do it in a way that's healthy and honest.” “Addiction is not about the behavior, it's about the function it serves.”  “You have the opportunity to choose. You don't have to stay stuck in this.”  “Give yourself the gift of getting the help you need.”   

Nobigdyl Shares Powerful Testimony: Overcoming Sex & Love Addiction by Ebenezer Endiryas

Don't miss the Make Money Easy Book Tour! https://lewishowes.com/moneyyouCheck out the full episode: greatness.lnk.to/1736"The greatest harm that I've ever done to other people was through me not knowing how to take care of myself. Nobody is safe from me when I need them that much." - Elizabeth GilbertElizabeth Gilbert unveils her decades-long struggle with sex and love addiction with disarming candor, revealing how her pattern of seeking validation and fulfillment through relationships created a destructive cycle. Despite years of therapy and thousands of dollars spent trying to change, it wasn't until age 50 that she discovered the 12-step program that finally addressed her core issues. Gilbert shares how she brought three different partners to the same therapist—outside her marriages—in a desperate search for the perfect relationship formula to fill what she describes as "this great echoing God-sized hole within me."Behind her public success, Gilbert confronted the painful reality that her unmet needs transformed her into someone "super needy, super clingy and super manipulative," using others as "parental replacements" or "unpaid therapists." Her profound realization that proper self-care isn't merely personal wellness but a "deeply humanitarian public service" offers powerful wisdom for anyone caught in destructive relationship patterns. Through her vulnerability, Gilbert illuminates how genuine healing begins when we stop expecting others to solve our inner emptiness and instead take responsibility for our own emotional well-being.Sign up for the Greatness newsletter: http://www.greatness.com/newsletter