Podcasts about Love addiction

Dr. Skip Speer and Tami talk about doomscrolling and hopescrolling, the features of each, and how to tailor your algorithm to lift you up at every stage of recovery. They then answer participant questions about sex addiction, including narcissism, gaslighting, and therapist obligations as mandatory reporters.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:49] Doomscrolling versus hopescrolling – how to engage in what serves you.  [7:01] Using your phone to numb out? Try this instead. [8:50] What is the difference between a CSAT and a regular therapist?  [13:25] Do we really need a couples therapist?  [20:24] The importance of accountability in therapy. [26:57] Programs for sex addiction with narcissistic traits. [37:25] The danger of denial in recovery.  [41:03] Dealing with a sex offender changes the recovery game.  [44:49] Key differences between narcissism and sociopathic behaviors.  [46:45] How can I financially separate myself from my betraying partner?  [50:05] My partner is looking at underage porn. Should I report him?  [54:33] Is the term 'gaslighting' used too loosely?  [56:30] What are the obligations of a mandatory reporter?  [58:30] What is the likelihood that underage porn addicts will ever ask for help if they know they will be reported?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES "It feels better to comfort than confront, but at the end of the day, recovering addicts need accountability."  "In real recovery, we're looking for anything that is problematic or helping us escape in unhealthy ways."  "You know what your partner is not willing to do. So what are you willing to do?"   

Dr. Skip Speer and Tami answer participant questions about missing a partner who has betrayed you, strategies for opening up in honest and helpful ways, timelines for dedicating time to recovery resources, and appropriate dialogue to have with family and friends during recovery.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:04] What is my role in holding the pain of my betraying partner?  [6:50] Seeking Integrity resources that are available to navigate unhealthy relationships.  [7:58] What treatment options are available to a narcissistic sex addict betrayer?  [13:24] How and when should we approach discussing our situation with family and friends?  [17:10] How can I open up as the betrayer and address the tough topics with my partner?  [23:37] Do I need to discuss being a 12-Step sponsor with my spouse?  [27:20] Is it normal to miss my betraying spouse?  [30:51] How can we navigate my partner's addictions with our children?  [36:15] Which support groups offer accountability instead of enablement.  [43:29] Can betrayed partners have traits of love addiction?  [44:31] How can I avoid getting pulled in to my sex addict partner's lies?  [50:02] How do I know when it's time to adjust the amount of time we spend on recovery resources?  [54:14] How can I possibly initiate sex after the years of my partner's betrayal?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES "If a person is willing to engage in therapy and get in and do the work, there is hope."  "The more you focus on healing for you, the faster you will heal."  "Things may be bad, but they will get so much worse if you keep holding onto it."  "No addict changes unless the pain of changing is less than the pain of staying the same."   

In this powerful call-in episode of Dr. Judy WTF, Dr. Judy unpacks the difference between being in love and truly loving someone. She explains why the dopamine-filled highs of infatuation can feel like a drug, why those “butterflies” rarely last, and how real love is built on stability, shared values, and emotional safety. Using her Mind Map® system and attachment theory, Dr. Judy traces how childhood wounds, “holes in the soul,” and inconsistent parenting create anxious and avoidant attachment styles that play out in adult relationships.A courageous caller shares how growing up with emotionally unavailable parents led him to repeatedly fall for partners who don't have time for him. Dr. Judy walks him through her “What the Freud”® repetition principle—why we keep choosing rejecters and secretly hope they will finally heal our original pain. She also explores whether the in-love feeling can come back in long-term relationships, how to rekindle sparks with date nights, play, sex, and shared growth, and why becoming the cause of your healing (instead of at the effect of others) is the real path to healthy, mature love.

Dr. Jessica Lamar, Licensed Mental Health Therapist, explores unseen wounds and understanding disenfranchised grief and betrayal trauma. What is disenfranchised grief, and why does it matter? Dr. Lamar overs betrayal trauma, emotional and psychological impact, healing, and support strategies. She and Tami then answer participant questions about grief and boundaries, conversations and resources that are available to help navigate grief.    TAKEAWAYS: [:30] Intro. [2:58] Defining ambiguous loss – am I even in grief?  [4:40] Disenfranchised grief is a loss that is not openly acknowledged, socially validated or publicly mourned.  [6:02] Examples of disenfranchised grief as it relates to betrayal trauma. [11:30] Ambiguous losses that are associated with betrayal trauma.  [13:56] When betrayal occurs, the resulting grief is often disenfranchised.  [15:47] Statements that are commonly heard in disenfranchised grief.  [18:36] The psychological and emotional impact of disenfranchised grief.  [24:12] Strategies for empowering ourselves after loss.  [27:34] Common ways we invalidate grief after betrayal. [29:45] How can I validate myself in my grief?  [37:04] Interventions to help navigate disenfranchised grief.  [41:35] What resources are available to better understand and process grief.  [44:20] What dialog can we use to better communicate with extended family members who will not allow space for grief?  [47:35] How can I navigate anticipatory grief when I don't know what is actually going to happen?  [48:55] How can I ever start dating again after betrayal?  [50:49] What if the person who feels unsafe to me is a therapist?  [52:28] What is appropriate to say to our adult children?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES "When a loss isn't socially recognized, the grieving process can be isolating and difficult to navigate."  "The lack of validation can make the pain even more isolating."  "When we are alone with our betrayal trauma and our grief, we can start to invalidate our own feelings."  "Navigating disenfranchised grief and betrayal trauma requires real, intentional effort to heal."  "No one has the right to tell people what is or isn't a loss."   

On this Seeking Integrity webinar, therapist Debbie McRae discusses therapeutic separation as an effective intervention for couples struggling with the impact of betrayal and addiction. She highlights the structure of therapeutic separation as a compassionate approach to help both individuals regain safety, clarity and hope in the relationship. She and Tami then answer participant questions about therapeutic separation, when it's the right next move, and what to do when it didn't resolve your relationship issues.    TAKEAWAYS: [:55] The possibilities with therapeutic or healing separation.  [2:07] Common scenarios in couples dealing with betrayal.  [3:00] Is therapeutic separation right for my relationship?  [6:04] The purpose and plan of therapeutic separation.  [10:34] Realistic separation timelines and action plans.  [17:47] Addressing common therapeutic separation fears.  [24:57] Managing the message to others.  [29:45] What to do when you're stuck. [32:11] The importance of regular therapist check ins.  [36:32] How does therapeutic separation end?  [40:16] What is the difference between sobriety and recovery?  [47:54] My partner is gaslighting me. Would in-home separation help?  [52:19] How do I know if my partner is really doing the work?  [57:08] Therapeutic separation didn't work. How do I move forward?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES "Therapeutic separation aims at creating stability, safety, and gives each individual time to gain insights."  "As you define clear goals and understand the purpose of therapeutic separation, it becomes a roadmap for healing."  "In therapeutic separation, both partners are fully committed to doing their recovery work."  "All of this is scary, but the scariest thing is staying stuck."  

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre"Narcissism because of Sex Addiction - Yuk! That's not me".Many clients initially (but silently and violently) object to any suggestion that there is Narcissism at work. I am never suggesting they have NPD (Narcissist Personality Disorder), but that they WILL have traits from Narcissism.Here is one definition of Narcissism which I use: "Narcissism is the way we conceptualise how we will look after ourselves. In its pathological form, it refers to people who seem incapable of acknowledging or taking sufficient account of the reality of other people and their separate existence. Narcissistic Personality Disorder describes those who exemplify an extreme form of this characteristic. The primary purpose of Narcissism is to compensate for experience, usually in early childhood, when ordinary expectable needs were not met adequately. The Narcissist denies dependence on others and denies even that others exist except as players in the Narcissist's drama. Other people are required to meet the narcissist's needs for recognition and value, but without relationship being reciprocated.The narcissist gives nothing, but demands others give everything. Therefore the original horrific experience of unmet need and the shame and vulnerability that goes with it, is denied and defended against.Traits include being the centre of attention; little interest in others; craves recognition and praise. They are performers and want others to keep on clapping and not stop; controls and dominates interaction with others; has to be right; cannot admit to ever being wrong and never apologises; insists on things being done their way; always makes the choices and decisions. Reliance on another is not acknowledged"."Gary, let me show you evidence that I do not seek attention, take little interest in others, don't crave recognition or attention, let alone a performer and want claps. How dare you...."Until I unfold their behaviours and leave them with 'food for thought' to reflect upon; including going back to my definition of Sex Addiction to see 'the function which the addiction serves'.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, hormones,Support the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreDevelopmental history from childhoodThe phase of childhood from birth to age 6 is a critical time of sensitivity, during which time, templates are created which shape future interpersonal interactions. During this sensitive period of development, a child acquires a variety of new abilities and skills that are a necessary part of child development. There are five sensitive period categories, which include language, order, sensory skills, motor skills, and social skills.Many people experience some type of wounding during their early development and learn to numb their pain by self-soothing with one or more compulsive behaviours. As adults, they may continue to struggle with the compulsive misuse of alcohol, drugs, spending, food, sex, relationships or the Internet. All addictions feature a very complex emotional and biochemical process that have origins in childhood trauma and the deprivation of authentic intimacy and bonding during development.Socially induced pathology appears between the ages of 4 to 5 and 8 to 9.The onset of male sexual imprinting is from aged 3 to 4 and peaks at 8 to 9, with an  upper tail at about aged 13. These sex and relationship templates (set up in childhood) become activated at puberty and develop and continue throughout adult life.4 Ways in which juvenile sex and relsp templates are developmentally vulnerable to socially induced pathology:·       Explicitly neglecting to monitor and reinforce healthy sexual rehearsal play.·       Punishing or humiliating children for their rehearsal play.·       Prematurely inducting children into sexual rehearsal play.·       Coercing children into age-discrepant sexual rehearsal play.Our early attachment styles are established in childhood through the infant/caregiver relationship. Four distinguishing characteristics of attachment are:1   Proximity Maintenance - The desire to be near the people we are attached to.2   Safe Haven - Returning to the attachment figure for comfort and safety in the face of a fear or threat.3   Secure Base - The attachment figure acts as a base of security from which the child can explore the surrounding environment.4   Separation Distress - Anxiety that occurs in the absence of the attachment figure.Templates are setting up traits that will play out in Adulthood, which the child did not vote to have at work in their life. Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Key words: sex addiction, addicted, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, therapy, sex therapy, podcast, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, couples therapy, sex therapy, emdr, love addiction, behavior, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, trauma, ptsd, sex science, The sex porn love Addiction Podcast, The Singles Partners Marrieds and Long Time Marrieds Podcast, Gary McFarlane, porn addiction, what neuroscience says, neuroscience, young adults, sex, sex addict, porn, recovery, porn addiction issue, porn addiction in teens, sex addiction in teens, sex hormones, hormonSupport the show

S4 Ep#32Want to be a guest on the podcast? Send Andrew a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/member/anonymousandrewpodcastPlease buy me a cup of coffee!Proud Member of the Podmatch Network!SummaryIn this episode of Digital Dating, host Andrew engages with Sherry Gaba, a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist, to explore the complexities of love addiction, codependency, and the challenges of modern dating. They discuss the impact of attachment styles on relationships, the signs of toxic relationships, and the importance of self-love and healing from past traumas. The conversation also touches on the role of digital dating apps and the evolving landscape of finding connections in today's world.Sherry Gaba, LCSW and Transformation Coach contact and links:Author of Love Smacked:How to Stop the Cycle of Relationship Addiction and Codependency to Find Everlasting LoveInstagram: @codependencycuriousTo get her free E-book click hereSherrys Website!Anonymous Andrew Podcast StudiosDigital Dating Podcast w/Anonymous AndrewCultimatum Podcast-The Culture of CultsThe Weekend Rant with Anonymous AndrewAnonymous Website:Discord Chat Invite Link: https://discord.gg/mS7RAe4gGDInstagram:TikTok:Threads:Facebook:YouTube:Linkedin:X: @AAndrewpodcastGraphics design & promotions: Melody PostMusic by: freebeats.io

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreSex Addiction is different to Porn Addiction. Sex & Porn Addiction are different to Love Addiction. They all get set up in 3 ways:1. Opportunity: Material accessed too early in childhood development2. Trauma: Just as it says on the label of the can! But make trauma age-related and its impact on the immature developing brain, not what is going on in wars between Russia & Ukraine, Israel & Hamas3. Insecure Attachment: A disruption in the early years bonding between the child and main caregiversDefinition of sex addiction: A pattern of sexual behaviours which pre-occupy your thoughts and are out of control. You cannot stay stopped for a sustainable period or consistently and it has harmful consequences and the behaviour serves a function in your life and it is used primarily to anaesthetize some negative feeling state. (The important criteria which makes it an addiction, rather than a love of sex, is that it serves a function). Love Addiction: We all want love and affection and to feel special to at least one person. We need attachment and instinctively seek connection, especially romantic connection. There is nothing dysfunctional about wanting love and affection and connection.Love addiction, however, is a compulsive, chronic craving and/or pursuit of romantic love in an effort to get our sense of security and worth from another person. During infatuation we believe we have that security only to be disappointed and empty again once the intensity fades. The negative consequences can be severe and yet the love addict continues to hang on to the belief that true love will fix everything.Therefore, they eventually get back up after the hurt of rejection and try the chase again and again, even when love from at least one other, is in front of them. Caused by “Attachment”, mostly set up in childhood, it seeks to fill a perceived void, that will never actually be filled.We all want love and affection and to feel special to at least one person. We need attachment and we instinctively seek connection, especially romantic connection. There is nothing dysfunctional about wanting love, affection and connection.There is a difference between a Compulsion and an Addiction, even if the journey to recovery is the same. Here is a link to my whiteboard video to help better understand all of those distinctions - https://youtu.be/Sd_28nqNK1AGet some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Keywords:sex addiction, addicted, sex counseling, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, sex addiction recovery, therapist, therapy, talk show, sex therapy, podcast, sobriety, counseling, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, relationship therapy, couples therapy, sex therapist, online counseling, emdr therapy, emdr, sex therapy, addiction, conflict management, love addiction, love addiction therapy, behavior, marriage, marriage advice, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, sexual trauma, trauSupport the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreThe report found that 58% of respondents had seen violent pornography, including strangulation and rape scenes, before age 18, with girls more likely than boys to witness such content. Children are exposed to increasingly extreme online pornography, with concerns that new restrictions may be easily circumvented through VPNs. Worry was expressed, that even with new rules, users could bypass restrictions, as VPN usage in the UK had already increased significantly.70% of respondents had seen it, with an average age of first exposure being 13. Boys were more likely than girls to have seen pornography and vulnerable children, including those receiving free school meals or having disabilities, were more likely to have encountered it by age 11. Children are more likely to stumble upon pornography on social media sites like Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok than on dedicated porn sites, with many discovering it by accident rather than actively seeking it out.X (formerly Twitter) is the most common source (outstripping the dedicated porn sites!). Other social media sites where porn is accessed, includes Snapchat at 29%, Instagram at 23%, TickTok at 22% and Youtube at 15%.All of this is a big deal because of what is being set up in this early childhood development stage, which will play out in adulthood. Consider the definition of Porn addiction which I use:"A pattern of sexual behaviours which pre-occupy your thoughts and are out of control. You cannot stay stopped for a sustainable period or consistently and it has harmful consequences and the behaviour serves a function in your life and it is used primarily to anaesthetize some negative feeling state. (The important criterion, which makes it an addiction, rather than a love of sex, is that, it serves a function)".Many view the phase of childhood from birth to age 6 (and beyond) as a critical time of sensitivity, during which time, templates are created which shape future interpersonal interactions. During the sensitive period of development, a child acquires a variety of new abilities and skills that are a necessary part of child development. There are five sensitive period categories, which include language, order, sensory skills, motor skills, and social skills. For example, The onset of male sexual imprinting is from aged 3 to 4 and peaks at 8 to 9, with an upper tail at about aged 13.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Keywords:sex addiction, addicted, sex counseling, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, sex addiction recovery, therapist, therapy, talk show, sex therapy, podcast, sobriety, counseling, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, relationship therapy, couples therapy, sex therapist, online counseling, emdr therapy, emdr, sex therapy, addiction, conflict management, love addiction, love addiction therapy, behavior, marriage, marriage advice, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, sexual traumSupport the show

Ever heard of the "bird theory"? Jaime Moyer is joins us and enlightens us on it. Plus, learn that Emily Dorezas' medium is felt! Join us for an in-depth recap of an EPIC episode of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Amy, Jamie, and Emily discuss the latest drama, including Heather's bold confrontation with Lisa, Bronwyn's potential fraud storyline, and Mary and Angie's unique friendship. They also speculate about upcoming Bravocon events, share insights on their personal lives, and explore the significance of 'the bird theory' in relationships. Don't miss out on this packed episode filled with laughter, analysis, and some unexpected heartfelt moments!TICKETS to CabarAMY @ The Hard Rock Vegas:https://www.ticketweb.com/search?q=%22CabarAmy%22+Live+Comedy+Show For more Drama, Darling, and exclusive content, subscribe to Patreon:http://Patreon.com/dramadarlingFollow Drama, Darling on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/dramadarlingshow/  Email Drama, Darling with YOUR comments, questions and drama: DramaDarlingz@gmail.com Follow Amy Phillips on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/dramadarlingshow/  Get 15% off OneSkin, go to: https://www.oneskin.co/ Code: DRAMAJones Road Beauty, modern Day clean makeup. JoneRoadBeauty.com Code: DRAMAStart your mental wellness journey today with Rula, visit: https://www.rula.com/drama/

We talk to blockbuster bestselling author Elizabeth Gilbert about her latest book —a compelling memoir that’s impossible to put down. Resources & links related to this episode: All the Way to the River by Elizabeth Gilbert Check out the new Happiness Project tools Liz Gilbert's Substack newsletter: Letters from Love Gretchen's Substack newsletter: Secrets of Adulthood Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Some men can't stop trying to “save” broken women. They think it's love. They think it's noble. But it's an addiction — a way of escaping their own pain. In this episode, I read a powerful letter from a man trapped in the “White Knight” pattern and delivers some tough love on how rescuing others can destroy you, your marriage, and your peace of mind.If you've ever tried to fix someone who didn't want to be fixed, or confused pity for love, this one's going to hit home.Join the Brotherhood! https://helpformen.com/join

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre"It was aged....and I came across my [parents] stash of porn. I kept going back to view when they were out and took a few to my my room. They never knew".That is the very typical answer that I have been given by a large percentage of my adult clients when taking them through my History Taking Questionnaire. I ask them 188 questions over three 50 minutes sessions and their answers help me and them to build a profile understanding of the client from birth to current adult age; in order to answer the key question - for working with in EMDR and/or my Recovery Programme - 'What happened to you back there during childhood development'. It is not about allocating blame to parents. I say to clients that before allocating blame to parents, they would need to first consider the parents who parented their parents to see the batons and scripts handed to their parents; by implication - for the client to 'get it/understand'  what the client is likely to be passing on to their children - despite their parents filtering off the worse excesses of what happened to then, so as not to pass the same excess to their children. Get it?It is about 'curiosity', not blame inquisition. It is about getting into the sandpit with the client.Answering the question 'What happened back there' - helps to better understand the brain's choice of preferred self-soothing behaviour for the adversity which was impacting them back there in childhood. (The client does not choose the type of compulsive behaviour. The brain chooses). That repeat (order from the menu!) over time, unwittingly became a compulsive response to a real or expected or perceived 'look alike' similar adversity.They have embarked on the hamster wheel; created a 'go-to'; carved out a habit; etched on the brain a neural pathway, to manage emotions by escape and camouflaging the adversity for a while. Problem: They are skipping the developmental brains training to use more positive life-skill coping strategies which other children are learning. Problem: They have to begin anew in adulthood to now learn for the first time, those postponed learning that were tools in the toolkit armoury which other children acquired.Problem: They are unaware that what is also happening at that early age, is that the physiology of the body was being changed to become 'use dependent' on the very potent neurochemical mix being secreted into their immature brain - called Dopamine, Serotonin, Oxytocin, norephrinepine - which are as potent as illegal street drugs.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Keywords:sex addiction, addicted, sex counseling, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, sex addiction recovery, therapist, therapy, talk show, sex therapy, podcast, sobriety, counseling, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, relationship therapy, couples therapy, sex therapist, online counseling, emdr therapy, emdr, sex therapy, addiction, conflict management, love addiction, love addiction therapy, behavior, marriage, marriage advice, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, sexual trSupport the show

What if loneliness wasn't just an emotion — but a symptom of something deeper? In this next quick thought, I revisit a conversation with Darren - a powerful and painfully honest moment about loneliness, love addiction, and why so many of us confuse validation with connection. This clip explores what it really means to feel lonely, even when surrounded by people, and how learning to sit with that feeling — instead of running from it — can become one of the most healing acts of self-awareness.We talk about the HALT method — hungry, angry, lonely, tired — and why recognising these emotional triggers can change the way we respond to pain. Loneliness, as you'll hear, isn't just about being alone. It's about the ache of disconnection, the search for validation, and the quiet pull of old patterns that can keep us trapped. Love addiction often hides in plain sight, disguised as romance, attachment, or the pursuit of affection. But behind it can lie the same cycle of craving and withdrawal that drives any addiction.This episode asks a difficult but essential question — what happens when we stop trying to fill the void and simply face it? Sometimes, being alone is less painful than staying in something that keeps us small. Sometimes, sitting with discomfort is where real recovery begins.Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODESpotify - https://bit.ly/3QsOSf5YouTube - https://bit.ly/4a3ajKKApple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQAbout the “THOUGHT” series -Every other Monday at 5 PM, I'll bring you a quick ‘thought'—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773ePodcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypalFollow Darren -Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/creativedazzlePodcast - https://theatreaudiencepodcast.com/Follow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds#loveaddiction #slaa #recovery

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreNewspaper headline: "Joe is 10 years old and he is on The Sex offenders register and he has not yet kissed a girl".How can that be? Is that really true? Surely not! Ok my goodness!Even though that is not in the content of her Report, here is what the Children's Commissioner - Dame Rachel de Souza - says in the foreword of her Report, dated 19 August 2025:"Shockingly, as this report highlights, pornography is no longer something that children might seek out in adolescence. Today it has become something many children stumble upon accidentally while they are still in primary school. It is something that is shown to them without even looking for it on the same social media sites that were designed to help them connect with other people and be entertained. And it's not just any pornography. It is violent, extreme, and degrading often portraying acts that are illegal - or soon will be.Two years ago, I published “A lot of it is actually just abuse”, a landmark report on the scale of children's exposure to pornography online. At the time, the findings shocked me and many others. We found that the average age a child first saw porn was 13 years old. This has not improved; children are encountering violent and harmful material often before they are even old enough to understand what they are seeing.This report should be read as a snapshot of what rock bottom looks like. I hope we will be able to look back at the findings, which were gathered in the final weeks before Ofcom's children's codes came into force, and shudder at how things used to be......"Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone to access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpWant to access past episodes for a small monthly fee - Here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412/supportGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Keywords: sex addiction, addicted, sex counseling, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, sex addiction recovery, therapist, therapy, talk show, sex therapy, podcast, sobriety, counseling, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, relationship therapy, couples therapy, sex therapist, online counseling, emdr therapy, emdr, sex therapy, addiction, conflict management, love addiction, love addiction therapy, behavior, marriage, marriage advice, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, sexual trauma, trauma, brain, sex science, The Sex Porn Love Addiction Podcast, biology, gender, Gary McFarlaneSupport the show

On this Seeking Integrity webinar, Dan Drake, Matthew Raabsmith, and Joanna Raabsmith present "Building True Intimacy: A Roadmap to Relational Restoration After Sexual Betrayal." Together they consider how couples can effectively and efficiently move from betrayal and discovery to healing and connection, based on their book Building True Intimacy. They then answer participant questions about recovery, disclosure, and lasting healing.   TAKEAWAYS: [:30] Introducing Dan Drake, Matthew Raabsmith and Joanna Raabsmith. [3:23] How do couples heal after betrayal and disclosure? [5:30] Five key components to restoring intimacy, starting with awareness, authenticity and assertiveness. [9:16] The power of a foundation of honesty and safety. [17:32] Regulation and relational safety must be prioritized by the betrayer. [20:30] Stepping into trust and commitment following betrayed. [27:13] The value of inviting trusted people into your healing journey. [31:10] The hallmarks of empathy and vulnerability. [35:10] Creating community with other betrayed couples. [36:28] Reintroducing intimacy after betrayal. [44:55] When does a couple start to feel like they are on the same team? [49:24] The V.A.S.E. framework. [51:30] How can the betrayed partner move toward trust after regression? [56:08] My partner wants to move along without rebuilding. How can we heal? [58:48] Can we successfully recover without disclosure or restoration?   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.   QUOTES ● “Am I aware of the direction I'm heading based on the choices I'm making every day in my life?” ● “When I say my values are one thing and I live my life in a different way, I am not showing up authentically.” ● “If we don't have a foundation of honesty, we don't have anything to build on.” ● “The ability to be present will move us back into the partnership phase of the next level of healing.” ● “You have to have vulnerability if you're going to rebuild intimacy in a relationship.” ● “What kind of recovery do you want in your life whether or not your marriage makes it?”

On this Seeking Integrity webinar, Dr. Rob and Tami answer listener questions about cheating, betrayal, sex and more. They address recovery, disclosure, and setting healthy boundaries throughout the recovery process, and offer a realistic timeline for partners to move from betrayal to intimacy and healing.   TAKEAWAYS: [:30] My wife is using my body for sex. Is this just a libido mismatch? [9:30] Setting boundaries after hearing sex threats. [12:09] My partner and I are doing everything right. When will the next chapter start? [18:15] A little about Dr. Rob's books and his editor Scott. [22:30] Is formal disclosure really necessary? [25:51] How do we navigate the balance between romantic and sexual connection with the need for space and individual healing? [28:18] Distinguishing between sexual entitlement and the need for validation. [34:20] How does ADHD impact betrayal and recovery? [37:08] My husband doesn't want to label himself as a sex addict. Now what? [45:37] How can I forgive and move on for my child while still navigating grief?   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.   QUOTES ● “There is no difference between a sex addict and someone who uses sex to self-regulate.” ● “In recovery, you're learning to live life on a completely different plane than you did before.” ● “If you want to learn and keep moving forward, you will.” ● “You cannot make your partner do anything they don't want to do.” ● “Forgiveness is something I do for myself.”

On this Seeking Integrity webinar, Scott Brassart discusses resilience and healthy coping mechanisms for both addicts and betrayed partners. He and Tami then answer participant questions about handling triggers, understanding big emotions, and addressing supercharged manifestations of shame.   TAKEAWAYS: [1:10] Resilience and healthy coping mechanisms for everyone. [3:16] 5 practices to build resilience, from happiness to obstacle immunity and staying present. [11:20] Tools that can help with building resilience. [15:30] The 3-second rule for sex addicts. [19:30] The key difference between happy people and the rest of us. [28:50] Handling triggers like kindergarteners handle fire drills. [35:00] Understanding the emotions beneath the anger. [44:01] Blaming others is the easiest form of denial. [48:32] Manifestations of shame. [54:00] Good things can happen if you're willing to do the work. [55:39] How can I address my supercharged emotions? [1:00:41] Stop problematic behavior, then address the underlying issues.   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.   QUOTES ● “Resilience is not a tool we are born with, it's a skill we can learn.” ● “Of all the tools I've given you, gratitude is the most powerful.” ● “Healthy coping skills and resiliency are inextricably linked.” ● “Practice using these tools when you're safe, use them when you're not.” ● “Big emotions rarely address the underlying emotion.”

On this Seeking Integrity webinar, Dr. Eddie Capparucci addresses the struggle of many men to show empathy, especially those who have dealt with childhood trauma and emotional neglect. He warns of the dangers of labels and offers insights into the biological and neurological factors that affect empathy. Then he and Tami answer participant questions about empathy in relationships, with strangers, and in and out of the home.   TAKEAWAYS: [:30] The link between problematic sexual behaviors and a lack of empathy. [3:00] Empathy is learned in childhood. [7:18] When men don't know how to deal with emotions, they shut down. [8:46] The biological component of empathy. [12:23] Timing plays a critical role in the development of empathy. [15:07] Healing the brain and cultivating empathy. [24:07] Emotionally cold or emotionally dysregulated? [28:45] Why is my spouse empathetic with everyone except me? [33:09] Why do I seek stranger validation more than closeness with my partner? [35:35] My husband had plenty of empathy when courting me. What happened? [40:50] The neurological danger of viewing porn. [41:22] Lack of empathy or autism spectrum? [45:38] Where to find the feelings wheel. [46:48] Why is it easier to be empathetic with someone who's upset with someone else than someone who is upset with me? [49:41] Can these same principles apply to women? [52:00] How will we know when we are ready for couples work? [55:10] My husband feels judged when I ask him to be accountable.   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.   QUOTES ● “When men don't know how to deal with emotions, they shut down.” ● “Trauma and emotional neglect do not damage every child's empathy circuit in the same way.” ● “The brain can heal and empathy can be cultivated.” ● “Emotional regulation is recovery.”

Delanie Fischer chats with Brittany Moore, who shares her experience being married to Steve Moore, a past guest on Self-Helpless and someone who has struggled with porn addiction (and now helps others overcome it). She describes how she found out, the impact it's had on her, and where her and Steve are now after 20 years of marriage. Plus: + The Unexpected Way Brittany Found Out  + The Signs She Noticed But Didn't Understand + Potential Isn't Enough, You Need This Too Self-Helpless on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelpless Your Host, Delanie Fischer: https://www.delaniefischer.com EPISODES RELATED TO THIS TOPIC: Is It Porn Addiction? Inside the Impact, Neuroscience, and Recovery with Steve Moore and Mark Kastleman: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/2230ec70/is-it-porn-addiction-inside-the-impact-neuroscience-and-recovery-with-steve-moore-and-mark-kastleman 7 Shocking Truths About Codependency And Addiction with Heidi Rain: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/24c74079/7-shocking-truths-about-codependency-and-addiction-with-heidi-rain Sex and Love Addiction with Sex Addiction Therapist, Alex Katehakis: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/316e9795/sex-and-love-addiction-with-sex-addiction-therapist-alex-katehakis When You're A High Functioning Addict (And Modernizing The 12 Steps) with Dr. Samantha Harte: https://www.delaniefischer.com/selfhelplesspodcast/episode/233469a8/when-youre-a-high-functioning-addict-and-modernizing-the-12-steps-with-dr-samantha-harte Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centrePut these tools into your armoury of resources to help you communicate more effectively:John Grays 'Men are from mars and women are from Venus' is still worth a read. Also (although a somewhat provocative title) 'Men don't listen and women can't read maps' - is worth reading.Both books remind us that there is a difference between how masculinity and femininity communicate. There is a big difference between 'Hearing' and 'Listening'.There is a difference in how we communicate when we are in conflict with someone. There is a difference in how we communicate when we are in a 'Parent role', 'Adult role' or Child role". (That is the theme of TA (Transactional Analysis - for which you can do a 3 years degree to understand the dynamics).There is a difference between Sympathy and Empathy. There is a difference between Narcissism and Empathy. (I describe Empathy as the antedote to Narcissism).There is a difference in how we communicate when '...now is not a good time for me...', but we are forced to do communication. It can quickly go downhill.There is a difference in how we communicate when there is a power imbalance. There is a difference in how we communicate when Shame is at work (very much applicable to those with Sex/Porn/Love Addiction - remembering my mathematical formula - SHAME + NARCISSISM = SEX/PORN ADDICTION.Know the terrain in which YOU are communicating. Remember that the biggest aspect of effective communication is what we take in with our eyes.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone to access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpWant to access past episodes for a small monthly fee - Here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1117412/supportGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Keywords: sex addiction, addicted, sex counseling, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, sex addiction recovery, therapist, therapy, talk show, sex therapy, podcast, sobriety, counseling, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, relationship therapy, couples therapy, sex therapist, online counseling, emdr therapy, emdr, sex therapy, addiction, conflict management, love addiction, love addiction therapy, behavior, marriage, marriage advice, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, sexual trauma, trauma, brain, sex science, The Sex Porn Love Addiction Podcast, biology, gender, Gary McFarlaneSupport the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreSex addict, your body demeanour is going to give you away. Know the facts about the body and how you main have trained it to 'tell on you'!When we first meet someone we form a very strong impression of them within the first 40 seconds. We form a lasting opinion of them within the first 4 minutes. Our opinion will influence the way in which we respond and behave towards that person until something happens to cause us to change our mind. Even then, changing our mind is a process and is not immediate.Our voice and body language communicate about 93% of our message. Let's break that down a bit more. Dependent upon the statistics that you read, anything from 55% to 70% of what is communicated and we take in, is what we gain visually, using our sight. In other words what we see. 38% comes from what we hear (tone, pitch of voice etc) and only 7% comes from the actual words that we hear. Remember words are ambiguous.The way someone dresses influences opinion. As a speaker, if I dress in a way that is insensitive, inappropriate or is causing you to pay more attention to it; perhaps I have been culturally insensitive in my dress sense; then for quite a long time you will have been absorbed with that fact. You will have stopped listening effectively and be distracted in your thoughts, although you will have been “hearing” noise coming out of my mouth. There is a great difference between listening and hearing.If you detect a nervous disposition from me as I am speaking to you, my nervous disposition and shaking hands will be giving you mixed messages and reduce the impact of what I am saying. What is the importance of all of this?It is important to maximise that which takes in most of the information whilst we communicate. That is the visual. Therefore, avoid having those important conversations sitting side by side, particularly with the television on. Text messages can be disastrous when dealing with important matters. Laying side by side and pillow talk conversations can become problematic if the subject has more importance to one of you than is realised by the other.I am not saying not to do it, but I want you to be aware that the aim should be to maximise eye to eye and body to body visual contact.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone to access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpBritish Podcast Awards 2025: Consider voting for this Podcast? https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/votingGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Keywords: sex addiction, addicted, sex counseling, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, sex addiction recovery, therapist, therapy, talk show, sex therapy, podcast, sobriety, counseling, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, relationship therapy, couples therapy, sex therapist, online counseling, emdr therapy, emdr, sex therapy, addiction, conflict management, love addiction, love addiction therapy, behavior, marriage, marriage advice, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, sexual trauma, trauma, brain, sex science, The Sex Porn Love Addiction Podcast, biology, gender, Gary McFarlaneSupport the show

In this episode, I'm diving into the brain chemical that rules our lives: dopamine. Pulling from Dr. Anna Lembke's Dopamine Nation, Andrew Huberman's research on addiction, and the book The Molecule of More, we'll cover:✨ Why dopamine isn't about happiness—it's about wanting more✨ How love, sex, drugs, and TikTok all hijack the same system✨ Why the honeymoon phase feels like a drug… and why long-term love feels different✨ The dark side of dopamine: addiction, tolerance, anxiety✨ How to reclaim dopamine for creativity, ambition & joyWhether you're addicted to your phone, chasing love like it's cocaine, or just trying to understand why Oreos are impossible to eat “in moderation,” this episode will make you laugh and maybe change how you live.

I'm back. Honestly, I don't even know how I made it back alive, but here I am. What I'm coming back from is a full-blown meltdown that started on Mother's Day and ended today—exactly 133 days later. When I look at that window of time, I'm actually impressed I survived it . For over a decade on YouTube, I've shown up every single week teaching about addiction—how to handle it, what to say, how to set boundaries, and how to navigate someone else's dysfunction. I loved doing that for a long time. But behind the scenes, while I was helping others, something was happening to me. I was walking my own recovery path—from binge eating, binge drinking, and various self-sabotaging behaviors—and I shared those struggles publicly. I even created the “Love Yourself First Empowerment School” to help people heal from toxic relationships. And I was good at it. I dedicated my life to helping people speak their truth. But here's the thing—I'm not here to tell you about yourself anymore or about the people in your life. Menopause cracked me open. It wasn't a gentle awakening; it was a tunnel through hell. Over the past year and a half, I stripped away all the illusions—who I thought I was, what I believed I was here to do, how I showed up, even my own story around addiction. And on the other side, I came out raw, real, and unmasked. What I discovered in these last 133 days is that my root addiction is love addiction. I was addicted to what everyone else needed, to their opinions, to a false self I built out of survival. That false identity drove me into all my other addictions—alcohol, food, toxic relationships, bad choices, self-betrayal, self-rejection, and self-denial. From now on, this channel is going to be about two things: my personal journey with love addiction, and how it's shown up in every area of my life. I'm here for self-responsibility, for digging up buried treasure within, and for breaking through the blocks that keep us from living as our truest selves. Learn more and join the journey at www.HeidiRain.com #LoveAddictionRecovery #TrueLoveWithin #EmotionalHealing #BreakFreeFromAddiction #HeidiRain #SelfDiscovery #AuthenticLiving #InnerHealing #Podcast #RecoveryJourney #MentalHealthAwareness #AddictionHelp

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWhen we are communicating, the information is passing through the filters of the different structures of the brain. Sex Addiction does damage the brain and so, damages the filters.We all have filters. The message being transmitted is going through the receiver, but the receiver has filters and that means the message can come out the other end looking very different to what went in and was received. A damaged or compromised brain may incorrectly filter the message.For there to be effective transmission and receipt, the equipment must be working well. Stress, headaches, worry, multi-tasking and distractions are some things which act as blocks to effective transmission. Fight, Flight Freeze, Brain damage, dopamine and other neurochemical highs or lows, are other compromises to the filtering mechanisms of the brain.We need to learn to listen effectively and hear well. The speaker must have a clear idea of what they intend to communicate. The recipient must feel the message is relevant and be interested or greater levels of concentration will be required. The time and place must be appropriate. Both should be free from interference from strong emotions and past history! They must share the same language and not have coded meanings. The problem we have is that on a lot of occasions many of those things are not present and so there are problems in transmitting and/or receiving. Filters may act as blocks. What is said is not what we want to hear and so we do not listen and/or we do not interpret it the way it was intended. That can all be happening consciously or even unconsciously. It is the unconscious which is perhaps more difficult to identify and address. Don't be entrenched and fixed in your views. Don't be dogmatic. Leave scope for a different opinion. I demonstrate this in therapy by showing ambiguous picture and ask each person to describe what they see. Some cannot see all the different images contained in one picture. They need help. When pointed out, they exclaim with pleasure that they too can now see the differing images! But they needed help. Until they received help, many will hold firmly to their view that there is nothing further to be seen. Life is not always Black and White. Sometimes we all need help to see and better understand that which we just cannot see or understand with our own five senses. Sometimes we need someone to help us introduce some colour into our black and white, all or nothing way of thinking. That so often is all that counselling is - just adding some colour!Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone to access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Keywords: sex addiction, addicted, sex counseling, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, sex addiction recovery, therapist, therapy, talk show, sex therapy, podcast, sobriety, counseling, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, relationship therapy, couples therapy, sex therapist, online counseling, emdr therapy, emdr, sex therapy, addiction, conflict management, love addiction, love addiction therapy, behavior, marriage, marriage advice, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, sexual trauma, trauma, brain, sex science, The Sex Porn Love Addiction PodSupport the show

Three Out Loud hosts, one tarot card reader, and our unfiltered reactions. What could go wrong? Outlouders, this is an episode we have been looking forward to. Also, we’re not just reading our futures — Holly unpacks the vulnerable and heartfelt revelations in Liz Gilbert’s new book, including her self-proclaimed 'love addiction'. So why does Jessie find some of her observations feel kind of familiar? The wild but true high school catfish doco that floored Jessie; Holly and her good friend Meghan enjoy a taste of Spain; plus some X-rated bread making. Our recommendations this week truly run the gamut. P.S. If you want to listen to our one-on-one tarot card readings with Jessie, Holly and Amelia, we have a subscriber episode dropping in your feed next week. We’ll see you there

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre"A friend asks, "Tell me one word which is significant in any kinds of relationship." Another friend says, "LISTEN!" — Santosh Kalwar As we continue to Repair broken communication in the couple because of Sex/Porn/Love Addiction trauma damage - recognise there is a big difference between Listening and Hearing. Sometimes we need to think outside of the box. Often we need a little help to see how we restrict our own thinking! The 9 Dots exercise is a good illustration of how we need to break out of self-imposed constraints and break out of boxes. Try the exercise.'Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus (book by John Gray). 'Men don't listen and women cannot read maps' (book by Allan & Barbara Pease). Males and females may have varying interpretation for different words that are used. 'It's not about the nail in my head' - that you are looking at and being distracted by, as you are speaking to me! Watch out, you are going to end up as 'Men in the dog house'. In fact, that may be impossible to avoid!How do the sexes ever get it together? Earth seems to be the planet whose orbit of the sun is between that of Mars and Venice and so there is proof that we can get it together - at times!Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone to access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpBritish Podcast Awards 2025: Consider voting for this Podcast? https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/votingGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Keywords: sex addiction, addicted, sex counseling, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, sex addiction recovery, therapist, therapy, talk show, sex therapy, podcast, sobriety, counseling, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, relationship therapy, couples therapy, sex therapist, online counseling, emdr therapy, emdr, sex therapy, addiction, conflict management, love addiction, love addiction therapy, behavior, marriage, marriage advice, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, sexual trauma, trauma, brain, sex science, The Sex Porn Love Addiction Podcast, biology, gender, Gary McFarlaneSupport the show

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreRemember our foundational question: 'Do you enter a conversation to be understood or to understand?'Communication is like a bicycle wheel. Picture the two of you riding along the road to your destination, but not getting very far because both wheels on your tandem bicycle are buckled. You will get to your destination, but not very fast and it is taking more effort to cover the distance. Now let's remove one of the bicycle wheels and take a look at what we have in front of us. We can view the hub in the middle and call it “communication”. The hub needs to be tight and work well, because attached to it are the spokes. The spokes are various life issues that we all face. Life will throw up lots of stuff that we have to deal with.Those spokes (or life issues) can be negotiated around and got over much better by the two of you where the hub (communication) is tight and working well for the two of you. How do we tighten the hub so that it keeps the spokes tightly attached to it and stop the wheel warping and hindering progress? The intention is to tighten up the hub so that when communication is working much better for the two of you, both of you can better tackle life issues. Let us look at the features of Communication. It includes body posture, gestures (such as head nods), facial expression, eye contact, physical proximity, appearance, style of speech, tone and volume of voice, words (and the different meanings they may have to you) and physical contact (such as hand shakes). Remember cultural differences and word nuances! The intention is that when therapy comes to an end, armed with new communication skills, each is better equipped to tackle those spoke issues which life will continue to throw up. Improved communication skill is a life skill which works in the home, work, gym or wherever interaction with another takes place.Sometimes we need to think outside of the box. Often we need a little help to see how we restrict our own thinking!  Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone to access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here for you: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpBritish Podcast Awards 2025: Consider voting for this Podcast? https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/votingGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Keywords: sex addiction, addicted, sex counseling, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, sex addiction recovery, therapist, therapy, talk show, sex therapy, podcast, sobriety, counseling, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, relationship therapy, couples therapy, sex therapist, online counseling, emdr therapy, emdr, sex therapy, addiction, conflict management, love addiction, love addiction therapy, behavior, marriage, marriage advice, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, sexual trauma, trauma, brain, sex science, The Sex Porn Love Addiction Podcast, biology, gender, Gary McFarlaneSupport the show

Have you ever felt like two parts of yourself are at battle with each other--one that knows something is bad for you and another that wants to do it anyway? Or maybe you have a loud inner critic, or an inner toddler that just wants to be seen and heard? We are all made up of different parts, but we can learn how to work with them vs against them. In this episode Jodi talks with therapist and author, Britt Frank, about her new book, Align Your Mind: Tame Your Inner Critic and Make Peace with Your Shadow Using the Power of Parts Work. Jodi and Britt discuss the different types of parts and how to identify them, and how parts work can be helpful in love addiction recovery.  Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Link to Jodi's website and link to join her newsletter for upcoming announcements For more information about Britt Frank visit her website and follow her on Instagram @brittfank Purchase Align Your Mind here Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable." — David Augsburger Listening effectively is a very valuable gift to someone. It is costly. It values the other person. It is learned and must be practiced. There is a difference between hearing and listening. Listening means that the information stops in the brain and is processed and digested. When information is not digested, then you will find you did not really listen to it and take it in and it quickly is forgotten. Five types of poor listeners: 1. The advisor: instead of seeking to understand and empathise, they will want to sort out the problem by proposing a fix it. Sometimes the person who has spoken, only wanted to be heard and listened to without a solution. We men can struggle with that. What – no advice wanted! 2. The interrupter: whilst a person is speaking, they are already working out a reply and interrupt when they think they have the answer, before all is shared. Whilst the brain is working out the reply they are not truly listening. Sometimes we are not aware that we interrupt each other. 3. The reassurer: is a person who perhaps interrupts prematurely and gives advice that may belittle what has been said. For example, “It'II be OK”.4. The rationaliser: that person focuses on explaining why the other feels the way they do. The replies may actually totally miss the point. 5. The deflector: perhaps feels uncomfortable with the subject matter and instead of commenting on the issue, moves the conversation off into a different arena. Often ends up talking more about themself.Sometimes we cannot see it. Sometimes we need some help to see it. Sometimes the constraints are self-imposed. Sometimes we need to remove the shackles from our own minds so that we can think outside of the box.  We can teach our brains to say the right things, but our heart can betray us. In other words, whilst we are saying what we have rehearsed in our minds, our body language could be giving off a very different impression and contradict our spoken words!  The other person is likely to detect that we are not really listening and feel devalued. Repeatedly devaluing the other person, causes core emotional needs to be depleting. Fight and/or flight will start to come out as they seek to get those needs met elsewhere.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpBritish Podcast Awards 2025: Consider voting for this Podcast? https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/votingGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Keywords: sex addiction, addicted, sex counseling, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, sex addiction recovery, therapist, therapy, talk show, sex therapy, podcast, sobriety, counseling, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, relationship therapy, couples therapy, sex therapist, online counseling, emdr therapy, emdr, sex therapy, addiction, conflict management, love addiction, love addiction therapy, behavior, marriage, marriage advice, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, sexual trauma, trauma, brain, sex science, The SeSupport the show

Angela Spearman, CSAT describes “globalized mistrust” as the tsunami of impact on betrayed partners after discovery. But what are the core thoughts and fears underlying and maintaining that tsunami once it gets going?  Together with Tami she addresses strategies for dealing with uncertainty, then answers participant questions about betrayal, boundaries, and triggers and more.    TAKEAWAYS: [2:09] The catalyst for the existential experience and global mistrust.  [5:20] Common questions from the betrayed partner (and what they really mean).  [7:27] Reshaping existential questions to encourage healing.  [11:10] The negative impact of rigid thinking.  [17:45] Complex and overwhelming realities in the world.  [21:00] Flexible thinking as a strategy for hope against cynicism.  [25:32] 3-step strategy for dealing with uncertainty.  [32:17] Processing the things you can't control.  [36:40] I'm spiraling through my shame and I can't support my wife either. Now what?  [42:18] How can I convey my boundaries to my partner?  [47:16] Why did my husband act out in the first place? [51:26] How can I support my betrayed partner when she no longer wants my support?  [53:29] How do I navigate communication issues due to trauma?  [55:47] Why would I ever rebuild a relationship with someone so despicable?  [59:03] Is my recovery work creating more triggers?  [1:01:08] How does one get the betrayer to stop playing the victim?  [1:04:01] How can I move past feelings of injustice of stolen time and feeling used? [1:06:28] How do I protect myself from being reinjured until I decide whether to leave?   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “In any type of crisis that you go through, you're going to start asking some of these existential questions.”  “We start with a fact and then start forming beliefs and expectations based on things we've experienced in the past.”  “When we stop and pay attention to what our thoughts really look like, it can help us feel more empowered.”  “Hope is energizing. It empowers you.”  “There may never be a good enough answer.”   

Licensed marriage and family therapist Kristin Snowden discusses carried shame and the danger of absorbing a betraying partner's shame-filled life. She offers hope and tools for resiliency so that a betrayed partner can move through their own healing and get their lives and self-worth back again. She and Tami then answer participant questions about shame, addiction, and healing.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:30] Understanding the terms associated with trauma healing, addiction recovery, and carried shame.  [4:37] The importance of knowing your own shame stories.  [5:20] Defining carried shame in a betrayed partner.  [9:36] Every human being experiences shame and guilt.  [14:27] Why do we experience shame?  [18:04] The role of shame in the addiction cycle. [20:30] The 4 basic shame-filled stories that addicts operate out of.  [26:35] How does carried shame occur?  [38:48] How does carried shame manifest in the betrayed partner?  [39:35] How can carried shame be healed?  [46:19] D-Day was yesterday. What's next?  [48:03] How can I prepare for disclosure as a betrayed partner?  [51:43] How can my wife live with an addict like me?  [57:35] Why is my partner so incredibly defensive and derogatory toward me? [1:00:00] How can I accept the fact that I may be in a carried shame relationship?      RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “As part of your healing journey, it's necessary that you really get to know what your shame stories are.”  “Shame has good intentions, but it only drenches you with a painful experience.”  “Shame is a powerful, contagious emotion.”  “Shame lives in the non-language part of your brain. The more you talk about it, the more you can recognize distorted thinking around it.”  “Shame does not get sorted out in an isolated way.” 

Send us a text- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centreWe are continuing to look at Couples Counselling to 'Repair' the Sex, Porn, Love Addiction relationship damage. Let's focus on 'Communication'."The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them." — Ralph Nichols. Communication is way more than words that come out of mouths. Do you enter conversations to be understood or is it to understand. Very different styles and approach?Communication is like a bicycle wheel. Picture the two of you riding along the road to your destination, but not getting very far because both wheels on your tandem bicycle are buckled. You will get to your destination, but not very fast and it is taking more effort to cover the distance. Now let's remove one of the bicycle wheels and take a look at what we have in front of us. We can view the hub in the middle and call it 'communication'. The hub needs to be tight and work well, because attached to it are the spokes. The spokes are various life issues that we all face. Life will throw up lots of stuff that we have to deal with. Those spokes or life issues can be negotiated around and got over much better by the two of you where the hub (communication) is tight and working well for the two of you. How do we tighten the hub so that it keeps the spokes tightly attached to it and stop the wheel warping and hindering progress? The intention is to tighten up the hub so that when communication is working much better for the two of you, both of you can better tackle life's issues. There is a difference between Men & Women! Men really are from Mars and women are from Venus.Get some help from The Kairos Centre. See what you cannot see. Begin to change that which you begin to better understand.Help someone access the Recovery Programme: https://igg.me/at/ThekairosCentreHelp is here: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelpBritish Podcast Awards 2025: Would you consider voting for this Podcast? https://www.britishpodcastawards.com/votingGary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.Episode Keywords: sex addiction, addicted, sex counseling, partner, porn addiction, recovery, sex drive, sex addiction recovery, therapist, therapy, talk show, sex therapy, podcast, sobriety, counseling, relationships, relationship counseling, relationship advice, addiction, couples, relationship therapy, couples therapy, sex therapist, online counseling, emdr therapy, emdr, sex therapy, addiction, conflict management, love addiction, love addiction therapy, behavior, marriage, marriage advice, psychology, codependency, sex life, neuroscience, sex ed, sober, sobriety, sexual dysfunction, relationship issues, sex coach, sexual, sexual trauma, trauma, brain, sex science, The Sex Porn Love Addiction Podcast, biology, gender, Gary McFarlaneSupport the show

Love addiction is a set of symptoms most often associated with romantic relationships. But these symptoms can also show up in our relationship with work, which might look like this: seeking unconditional positive regard (ie earning validation and worthiness from the work we're doing, the company that employs us, the person who manages us), while we overvalue this company or person (and undervalue ourselves and the contribution we are making at work), all while self-neglecting as we overfunction in order to get that external validation. And all of this leads to exhaustion, health issues, and ultimately burnout.  In this episode, Jodi talks with burnout and productivity specialist, Tamu Thomas, author of Women Who Work Too Much, about toxic productivity, ambition and the cultural conditioning that shapes us. Tamu shares her personal experience with overfunctioning and how this led to a necessary life change; and why women often end up being the "selfless caretakers", how this leads us into a cycle of toxic productivity, and how we can change that...plus much more! Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Link to Jodi's website and link to join her newsletter for upcoming announcements For more information about Tamu Thomas, visit her website and follow her on Instagram @tamu.thomas Purchase Women Who Work Too Much here Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.    

In this weekly Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Dr. Rob and Tami answer questions about sex, cheating, intimacy, betrayal and more. They explore chronic lying, the power of mindset, the difference between firm boundaries and abuse, and more of the common but painful issues that betrayed partners face.    TAKEAWAYS: [:30] I don't want my betraying partner to touch me. How can I show empathy?  [5:42] How can I address our lack of emotional and physical intimacy?  [12:08] Is separation the right next step in recovery?  [13:19] EMDR and somatic experience techniques as tools for moving past trauma.  [18:11] Recovery work is essential in healing.  [21:56] My partner is physically present but emotionally checked out of recovery. [30:20] Choosing a different path in the recovery process.  [33:16] What is the difference between being firm and being abusive?  [42:22] My partner's lying addiction is worse than his porn addiction. What treatment plan is available for lying?  [46:37] How can I ask my partner about her recovery healing path when she won't open up to me?  [50:05] What is the goal of separation?  [52:00] How can I change my mindset about my slow recovery?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “You might get validation wrong, but doing nothing makes it worse than trying something and not doing it perfectly.”  “You can't work on trauma when you're still acting out.”  “Are you more focused on your pain or your healing?”  “The recovery battle has more to do with the choices you're making than the things that happened to you.”  “People who are committed to the recovery process are willing to do whatever it takes to be on a different path.”  “You don't have to be hit to be profoundly abused.”  “You cannot remain a liar and be in active recovery.” 

In this weekly Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Seeking Integrity Clinical Director Erin Snow and Tami consider the reasons that a betraying partner may refuse to admit their shame, whether it's worth waiting a few more days to see if a partner is going to start respecting boundaries, and how to respond to a partner's enmeshment, lying, and childhood trauma.    TAKEAWAYS: [:30] How can we get the recovery support we need two years after disclosure?  [6:19] What is too soon for couples therapy?  [9:30] Why does my partner always walk in front of me?  [13:43] Should I wait 30 more days for my betrayer to start respecting my boundaries? [19:24] Why are so many sex addicts enmeshed with a parent?  [23:35] My therapist can't believe I want to stay with my partner. Now what?  [31:38] How can I hold space for my partner's wounds and trauma? [38:03] How do I handle my partner's incomplete information about his betrayal? [45:35] How can I understand my partner's childhood trauma and patterns of withdrawal? [49:36] Why can't my partner stop lovebombing me?  [53:50] My partner is a sex and love addict, what does limerance mean?  [57:10] “I don't hate myself” – does my partner feel any shame?   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “When both partners are stabilized in their own healing journeys, couples therapy is that much more effective.”  “Your partner just wants to walk next to you in life.”  “Are the actions you're taking allowing me to move closer to you or forcing me to move further away from you?” “Choosing to stay in a relationship or choosing to go is something that only you deal with every day.”  “Addiction doesn't thrive in honesty. It has to thrive in lying.” 

Ever felt like you're chasing someone who refuses to choose you—again and again?Or maybe you are the one who runs when things get close.This isn't about love.It's about wounds.In this powerful breakdown, we dive deep into how childhood parentification, emotional enmeshment, and abandonment trauma shape our adult relationships—often without us even knowing. If you've ever been in a toxic cycle of love addiction and avoidance, or feel stuck begging for crumbs in a relationship that never gives back… this is your wake-up call.

SummaryIn this enlightening conversation, Valerie Lynn and Jodi White delve into the complexities of love addiction, exploring its symptoms, personal experiences, and the cultural influences that shape our understanding of relationships. Jodi shares her journey of recovery, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, boundaries, and the need to own one's reality in the healing process. The discussion also highlights the significance of establishing healthy relationships, recognizing red flags, and the empowerment that comes from choosing oneself.Chapters00:00 Understanding Love Addiction09:05 The Impact of Childhood and Culture18:06 Identifying Love Addiction27:03 Navigating Recovery and Healthy Relationships27:03 Cultural Influences on Relationships27:56 Establishing Healthy Relationship Boundaries30:51 Creating a Dating Plan for Recovery36:16 High Achieving Women and Love Addiction38:17 Understanding Love Addiction39:46 Advice to My Younger Self41:37 Leaving a Lasting Message for the Next GenerationConnect with Jodi:Website: https://www.jodiwhiteonline.com/Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/543YCNjinRyCFZ9Wv4B88s?si=8d60c1c3aa6043cf&nd=1Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jodiwhite_Connect with Us: Follow The Women On Top Podcast on Apple, Spotify or anywhere you get your podcasts and Subscribe for more empowering conversations and stories! The Women On Top on YouTube The Women On Top on Instagram The Women On Top on LinkedIn

In recovery, we examine the past and how it shaped us. We look at what we learned from our family of origin about life and relationships; plus the cultural messages that influenced us along the way (and may continue to do so). Storytelling can be a powerful tool in recovery, because as we look at the past we uncover memories that lead to feelings and aha moments; we connect dots that help us make sense of what has happened to us, and how it all led us here today. In this episode, Jodi shares three stories that have been on her mind and how these stories relate to her own recovery. Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Link to Jodi's website and additional resources Helpful books: Facing Codependence and Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody Ready To Heal by Kelly McDaniel Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.      

We're back with another listener AMA episode, and this one goes deep. As always, it's just me and my amazing wife, Alyson Charles Storey, sitting down to answer your most heartfelt, curious, and courageous questions.We touch on everything from consciousness expansion and unconditional love to near-death experiences and the spirit of addiction. I open up about my journey with drugs and alcohol and what it took to finally surrender—and how I view the energetics behind substances and the way they can open (or erode) our fields. Whether you're on a healing journey, wrestling with an old pattern, or just love hearing two people process the real stuff in real time, this episode is packed with gems. Thank you to everyone who submitted a question—we see you, we love you, and we're honored to walk this path together.Get your Animal Power book and deck at alysoncharles.com/animalpower.DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for educational purposes only and not intended for diagnosing or treating illnesses. The hosts disclaim responsibility for any adverse effects from using the information presented. Consult your healthcare provider before using referenced products. This podcast may include paid endorsements.THIS SHOW IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY:BON CHARGE | Use code LIFESTYLIST for 15% off at boncharge.com/lifestylist.LEELA QUANTUM TECH | Go to lukestorey.com/leelaq and use code LUKE10 for 10% off their product line.LIMITLESS LIVING MD | Book your free consultation today at limitlesslivingmd.com/luke and use code LUKE for 12% off your first order.NUCALM | Go to nucalm.com/lukestorey and use code LUKE for 15% off!MORE ABOUT THIS EPISODE:(00:00:00) Consciousness, Conflict, & the Practice of Unconditional Love(00:43:28) Where Do We Go When We Die? Exploring the Mystery of the Afterlife(00:57:40) The Spiritual Battle with Alcohol & the Path to Freedom(01:16:52) Detoxing the Modern World: Vaccines, Nanotech, & Spiritual Resilience(01:28:53) Clowns, Calendars, & Conspiracies: The Quest for Truth(01:41:15) Healing Love Addiction: From Loneliness to WholenessResources:Website: alysoncharles.com Instagram: instagram.com/iamalysoncharles Facebook: facebook.com/rockstarshaman X: x.com/alysoncharles TikTok: tiktok.com/@shamanalysoncharles YouTube: youtube.com/@alysonstorey Shop all our merch designs at

In this weekly Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Tami and CSAT Jon Taylor consider the implications of two-person psychology and how cheating and betrayal never affect just one person. Jon shares common early recovery mantras as they apply to the two-person psychology filter, then answers listener questions about lying, sobriety, and disclosure.    TAKEAWAYS: [:30] Mantras for early recovery in the two-person psychology filter. [3:06] “Focus on your side of the street.”  [6:01] Living with uncertainty in your relationship - “He will relapse if he's going to relapse.”  [9:15] Whatever you put in front of recovery, you will lose.  [14:08] Does your partner need to tell you everything?  [20:09] “All addicts are…” The danger of broad sweeping statements.  [24:15] “Sobriety will solve all relationship problems.”  [29:32] How can I overcome my fear of full disclosure?  [34:55] Should I move out because my partner is uncertain about my recovery?  [39:15] “Don't go to the hareware store looking for bread.”  [42:45] My husband altered his disclosure after his lie detector results came in. How can I ever trust him?  [45:57] How much of the past should we spend our time discussing?  [49:12] Are lies of omission typical of addicts?   RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “You don't quite get the whole picture of healing, change and recovery if you're not thinking in terms of two-person systems.”  “What happens on one side of the street affects the other side too.”  “He will relapse if he's going to relapse.”  “Each partner should be able to explain in simple terms why or why not something should be discussed.”  “Living with intention can only be achieved by two people working on a relationship and constructing it in a co-equal way.”  “Sobriety is a prerequisite to building a healthy relationship, but it is not the mechanism that a healthy relationship is built with.”  “It doesn't have to feel good every step of the way to get a good outcome.” “You can't have serious safety and security in a relationship if you don't take it seriously.” 

In this weekly Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Tami and The Shoeless Therapist Matt Wheeler discuss two types of change – counteractive change and transformational change – and how each one impacts healing. They also consider honesty, manipulation, and lying; and warn listeners of the danger of a partner claiming that they'll never hurt you again.    TAKEAWAYS: [1:57] Defining counteractive change and transformational change.  [4:08] Early recovery almost always includes counteractive change.  [5:33] Honesty is a complicated request. [9:37] Reflective and dissociative lying are learned behaviors.  [11:49] Trusting your gut around lying patterns. [17:20] Lying to set boundaries and allow for self-preservation. [22:32] Is this lie going to hurt my relationship?  [24:40] Counteractive change does not lead to deeper healing.  [29:55] Your partner cannot always be the catalyst for your behavior.  [34:10] Threatening is about control, not about fostering relationships.  [37:28] Trusting your own intuition and getting your needs met. [41:40] How can I handle my betrayed partner's indignation and anger?  [47:05] How can I respond to my partner's promise to never hurt me again?  [53:18] How can I approach my extremely avoidant partner?  [56:07] My cheating partner was never going to tell me the truth. Now what?    RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: Tami@Seekingintegrity.com Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES “All lying is manipulative in the sense that you're trying to manipulate the other person to think and feel a certain way.”  “Trust your gut when you recognize a familiar pattern.”  “Sometimes a person can change because they love someone else. Real transformative change happens because they love themselves.”  “No relationship is healthy if it's filled with threats.”  “Even if you could prove that acting out didn't occur, that's not the point. Your intuition is telling you that you have needs that aren't being met.”  “You cannot make any choice in life without accepting a loss.” 

For this episode, Natalie is joined by the host of the podcast Secret Life, Brianne Davis. Brianne has over 12 years of recovery experience with sex and love addiction and is the author of Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex Addict. Her and Natalie discuss how triggers present themselves in our normal society and how that affects you when you are recovering from codependency, love, or sex addiction. They speak honestly about how they feel they were put on this path to crave love and affection from people who were not capable of giving it and what steps they have taken to heal themselves. A last theme of the episodes is how secrets play a role in how we view our lives and our stories and what secrets hold us back from.Follow us at @menivetoleratedpod on Instagram and https://www.patreon.com/menivetoleratedpod on Patreon for bonus content! All ways to support the show, including our merchandise, can be found at https://linktr.ee/menivetoleratedpod.Find Brianne:Amazon: https://amzn.to/2MjsjvL Website: https://secretlifenovel.com Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/secret-life/id1521171499 Instagram:@thebriannedavis @secretlifenovel @secretlifepodcast Tiktok: @the.briannedavis

Sponsored by Harford County Living When Tanya Gioia's husband got sober five days before Christmas, she thought the hardest part was over—but the real journey had just begun. In this heartfelt conversation, Tanya shares how she navigated life as a wife, mom, and coach while rebuilding trust, setting boundaries, and finding strength through faith. This powerful episode is a must-listen for anyone touched by addiction, codependency, or seeking hope in life's toughest moments. Guest Bio:  Tanya Gioia is a Christian-focused addiction relationship coach dedicated to helping women support loved ones battling addiction. Drawing from her personal experience as a wife of a recovering addict and her own journey of healing from codependency, Tanya empowers women to rediscover their identity, set healthy boundaries, and build resilient families. She is also the host of the Faith Over Addiction podcast. Main Topics: ·         Tanya's family story and her husband's journey to sobriety·         Life on a Colorado farm with kids, animals, and addiction struggles·         The reality of codependency and how it affects relationships·         How faith, community, and positive self-talk played a role in healing·         The importance of boundaries and self-worth in recovery·         Helping children navigate family addiction dynamics·         The role of therapy, EMDR, and spiritual growth in personal healing·         Why women need to reclaim their identity and voice·         Tanya's coaching programs, podcast, and future plans  Resources mentioned: ·         Stephanie's website: https://www.tanyagioia.com/·         Episode Sponsor: Harford County Living·         Supporter: Real Life Prosthetics·         Supporter: Full Circle Boards·         Supporter: Send us a textSupport the showRate & Review on Apple Podcasts Follow the Conversations with Rich Bennett podcast on Social Media:Facebook – Conversations with Rich Bennett Facebook Group (Join the conversation) – Conversations with Rich Bennett podcast group | FacebookTwitter – Conversations with Rich Bennett Instagram – @conversationswithrichbennettTikTok – CWRB (@conversationsrichbennett) | TikTok Sponsors, Affiliates, and ways we pay the bills:Hosted on BuzzsproutRocketbookSquadCast Contests & Giveaways Subscribe by Email

This episode is the perfect pairing for a beach day, chilling poolside or a late night journaling session. For the Clue In Segment, Chidinma shares the upcoming virtual event But What Do I Know? And She Well Read Podcasts: In Conversation With Danielle Allen that is taking place on August 21st. For the Main Conversation, Chidinma is joined by Therapist, Coach and Host of the Black Girls Health Podcast, Shena Lashey. The two discuss the importance of intimacy, how intimacy disorders such as love avoidance and love addiction are developed, particularly in relation to religion and Shena's experience seeking healing from these disorders. The conversation ends with Shena sharing practical tools for navigating these disorders whether single or partnered.  --- Connect with the "But What Do I Know?" Podcast: Instagram Community: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@BWDIKPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to our newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.bwdikpodcast.com/⁠ Register for our virtual event with Author , Danielle Allen: In Conversation With Danielle Allen ---: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect with Shena and Black Girls Heal: Listen To The Podcast: Black Girls Heal Podcast The Website: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/ --- Episode Credits: BWDIK Podcast Theme Music: Produced By Sonix Content Production: In The Know Media Audio Editing and Production: Morgane Chambrin Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In love addiction, we avoid our reality through fantasy and other behaviors that keep us stuck and feeling powerless. But even in recovery, reality becomes overwhelming at times, and we might still find ourselves wanting to check-out and shutdown in order to bypass those feelings. In this episode, Jodi talks about her recent experience with checking-out and attempting to avoid reality; our collective issue with self-esteem; and navigating hopelessness while holding onto empathy. Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Link to Jodi's website and additional resources Books mentioned in this episode: Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody and The Great Work Of Your Life by Stephen Cope Chelsea Handler shared a helpful post regarding "How To Help Texas" that includes resources and where to donate to support flood recovery efforts. In the episode Jodi shares a quote commonly attributed to James Baldwin: “We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist.” After recording, Jodi learned that there is some confusion regarding the actual source. According to Snopes: "It wasn't James Baldwin who said this, but essayist and novelist Robert Jones Jr., who used to write online under the moniker @sonofbaldwin. He wrote and posted these words on X (formerly Twitter) on Aug. 18, 2015." However other online sources continue to report it was actually James Balwin himself.  Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.    

Why do women turn on each other? This important question was posed in a recent Substack article, which addressed what Jodi has been wondering for a long time: Is it envy? Fear? Competition? Patriarchy? All of the above? Regardless of the underlying reasons, we might catch ourselves dismissively believing 'there's just something about her that bothers me' (which then allows us to avoid those underlying reasons and blame the other person). In this episode, Jodi and her friend, Brooke, talk more about all of this. They also discuss the documentary, Call Her Alex, and the aforementioned Substack article by Women Are The Medicine.  Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Link to Jodi's website and additional resources Link to Call Her Daddy on Hulu Link to Substack article by Rachel Lawlan of Women Are The Medicine   Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.  

Delanie Fischer is joined by Steve Moore (Certified: Sex Addiction Therapist, Partner Trauma Therapist, Multiple Addictions Therapist) and Mark Kastleman (Board-Certified: Clinical Chaplain and Pastoral Counselor), co-hosts of The PBSE Podcast (Porn, Betrayal, Sex, and the Experts), to share their personal experiences with pornography and sexual addiction—including root causes, signs and symptoms, raw inner dialogue around the behaviors, their recovery process and its impact on their marriages, and how they help others heal. The stats say—you, or someone you know, is likely struggling with this. Parents, partners, and porn consumers—don't miss this episode.Plus:+ A Shocking Stat About Porn and Divorce+ How Addictive Is This Porn Thing, Really?+ 3 Key Warning Signs You Shouldn't IgnoreMore episodes related to this topic:Sex and Love Addiction with Sex Addiction Therapist, Alex Katehakis: https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/episodes/episode/316e9795/sex-and-love-addiction-with-sex-addiction-therapist-alex-katehakis7 Shocking Truths About Codependency And Addiction with Heidi Rain: https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/episodes/episode/24c74079/7-shocking-truths-about-codependency-and-addiction-with-heidi-rainThe Psychological Impact of Gaslighting with Dr. Stephanie Sarkis: https://www.selfhelplesspodcast.com/episodes/episode/2a31527c/the-psychological-impact-of-gaslighting-with-dr-stephanie-sarkisSupport the podcast, vote on topics, and more: https://www.patreon.com/selfhelplessYour Host, Delanie Fischer: https://www.delaniefischer.com* In this episode, we explore the mental health impacts of porn addiction and the path to recovery.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Emotional abuse is far too common and yet it can be difficult to recognize, because it's subtle at first and often covert. It can deplete a person's self esteem and simultaneously create dependence upon the abusive partner, which blurs reality and makes it hard to leave. But what is emotional abuse and how can we recover from an emotionally abusive relationship? In this episode, Jodi talks with therapist and author, Leah Aguirre, LCSW, about her new book, Is This Really Love? Recognizing When You're  in a Coercive, Controlling, and Emotionally Abusive Relationship--and How to Break Free. Jodi shares a story about her first addictive relationship and Leah talks about the aha moment that led her to leave an emotionally abusive partner. Jodi and Leah also discuss coercion and control; personality traits of an emotional abuser; and relationship green flags (signs that a relationship or partner is safe). Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Link to Jodi's website and additional resources Leah's website and Instagram Link to order Is This Really Love? Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.