Chumba and Wumba

Okay. Last one for real this time. The podcast goes off the air on January 22nd so we figured we'd do a tear free check in with the boys. Pasi is about to sell out for ice cream money and Rios is happy post comedy and post Chumba. Which makes them doing a 3rd "last" episode make even less sense. Too late now! Caaaaaaaaaan we date your kid??? Alternate titles include: "I Grew It" "Tit Money For 5 Minutes" and "Turn Around And Fight The Air"

Last Chumba and Wumba ever! And it's fittingly a week late (sorry) What started in a basement in northeast Portland comes to an end in a basement level garage in northeast Portland. It's all the things this podcast has ever been; fat, inappropriate and most of all heartfelt. Thanks for listening to us Straight Randy and the boys will never forget you

Rios invented a sandwich and Pasi's bad timing intrudes on a somber moment. They also discuss funerals, man boob geometry and Chappelle's Redemption Song. Alternate titles include: "This Family's Half Full" "Turn It Up To 10" and "Like A Glacier"

Rios is back to working hard while Pasi is back to being a bad son. Pasi's family then illustrates to him that the city of Gresham is a bunch of crooks and we are all subject to the inevitability of growing old. We're the podcast that takes responsibility for our trees and our trees alone! Alternate titles include: "At Least You Got A Basket" "I Could Have Your Dead Kids" and "Please Reload"

The boys survived a snowstorm! And Rios has the funniest dog story of all time. It's two podcast hosts with efficiency of one! Alternate titles include: "These Two Cows" "Bus Do Now" and "Meaty Temples"

Rios does the superbowl right, Pasi has a chance to do a member of his culture right. They also discuss judging a person by their shoelaces. It's the only podcast up to it's armpits in cranberry juice. Alternate titles include: "Flat Tire" "Dick's Alarm Clock" and "No Foot Left Behind"

The boys finally watched Nanette. Aside from that they find out about having a specific porn category in common and rehash a single joke throughout the entire episode. This is USDA prime podcasting right here! Alternate titles include: "They Sleep Standing Up" "Nice Rap Hand" and "People Helping People"

Guest Hosted by Dan Weber & Nariko Ott

Rios doesn't like Pasi's new content ideas and Pasi doesn't like Rios expanding his knowledge. The boys also discuss the Unforgiven special and how it affected them. No one but us gunslingers on this podcast! BANG BANG BANG! Alternate titles include: "Marinated Janice" "Like The Native Americans Did" and "Lemmy Grillmeister"

Pasi continues to heal while Rios has an idea that could make all his dreams come true. But mostly the boys keep going back to one gross joke. Suck our butts Tim Burton at least our version would have had POC characters! Alternate titles include: "BillBurrbreakbad" "Cum Potatoes" and "600 F*cking Times"

Rios is not a nerd! Pasi is not mobile. And you listeners are not allowed to hear the first two minutes of this episode. A small army of fast food managers couldn't stop this podcast. Alternate titles include: "#notmygladiator" "Burger Queen of PDX" and "Fat Knee God"

Rios had a good Christmas, Pasi had a sad one that got better. Also, everyone discusses the best ways to give just customer service. Last podcast of 2020! BTW we're aware that this is coming out on January 1st at the earliest. Alternate titles include: "Kill Your Supervisors" "Pick A Side" and "Whipping Toy"

The boys spread some Christmas cheer while Randy gets some Christmas revenge. After that funeral arrangements are made. You gotta read your bible to understand this podcast. Alternate titles include: "Hurtful With Your Shirt Off" "Orgasms For Their Mouths" and "Round, Loud, Don't Work Right"

Pasi reconnects with one old friend and disconnects from another one. Rios gets what might be the first of many Covid tests. If you don't review our podcast within the next 3 years, you're a bad listener. Alternate titles include: "Should've Asked Them For A Ride" "F*ck Your Pickles" and "Hard Pepto"

We did another brunchcast and it's all Pasi's fault. Rios analyzes what makes him a good ping pong player and Randy has some exciting new Cranival Studio products. This episode goes nicely with a room temperature Fresca Alternate titles include: "Got Randy?" "Like a Boy" and "Soda Pairings"

Everyone talks about their Thanksgiving, Pasi pays tribute to a Christmas cinematic masterpiece, and Rios' new haircut inspires some real inappropriate photoshopping by Producer ****y Lawrence. If you want this to sound better just stir a little mayonnaise in. Alternate titles include: "In A Big Spoon" "Real Punks Have Pointy Ears" and "Feig You Sonovabitch!"

The boys both get back to work. Rios takes up a new sport and Pasi gets bullied by a medical professional. Whenever Randy puts one of these out he yells "Droppin 'sodes!" Alternate titles include: "Big School" "Dropping Gravy" and "Pegged Your Face"

Rios has podcast appropriate dog problems and Pasi is just a mean snob. If you have a really good podcast you should hate listen to this one. Alternate titles include: "The Taste of Dirt" "Bitches and Cowards" and "American Angels"

The boys share election day memories and start a new tradition. Rios is working hard once again and Pasi is all the way canceled. Listen to this t-today junior! Alternate titles include: "Manuel Labor" "Read Out Loud" and "Fatneck and Sidemouth"

Rios enjoys family time and goes back to work while Pasi gets a small taste of his pre-Covid life. It's the podcast where nature always takes it's course! Alternate titles include: "All Hearts and Stomachs" "Didn't Have to Perform on a Full Stomach" and "FEDERATION"

Rios doesn't want to look at you voting and Pasi's coworkers are getting to know him too well. After finishing this episode you should make an "I listened" Instagram post. Alternate titles include: "Take A Picture" "Instead Of A Napkin" and "Ball Gag"

Pizza! Music! TV shows! Weddings! Swastikas! Non-Swastikas! Australian Toilets! Meeting your heroes! All discussed LIVE in Rios' garage! Come listen to the podcast that Domino's Pizza describes as "3 fat idiots" Alternate titles include: "Highest Level of White Girl" "Kat Von Dander" and "Eat By Feel"

Pasi drinks himself into some big ideas while Rios drinks himself into drinking less. The blackout Terminators are back! Alternate titles include: "Kill Your Brother The Fun Way" "You Could Lose Some Weight" and "I Can Use That Front Part"

Rios continues to lose at 1 man boxing, Pasi's imagination gets him a new horrible comedy title and the boys discuss weddings past and future. This podcast is always a bridesmaid never respectable. Alternate titles include: "Send One Of Those Ugly Dresses" "My Fingers Smell Toast" and "Caveman McDonald's"

Pasi overcomes a train injury while Rios prepares for the fire that Randy doesn't believe in then all 3 of them pitch in on a permanent decision about Rios's body. Alternate titles include: "The Sound of Immobilization" "Limped Right Into That One" and "Hog on a Hog"

Rios explains why he doesn't have to clean the rain gutters, Pasi renews his comedy addiction and since the world is burning they both come clean about every unhealthy thing they've done be it on purpose or otherwise. Put this podcast in your go bag! Alternate titles include "$40" "Not For You Lisa" and "Little Boy Flavor"

Pasi gets upset by a compliment at work, Rios gets upset by Pasi not getting upset with him. The boys try to grow as people, it goes as expected. Have you heard this podcast?? Aw, it's fuckin brutal! Alternate titles include: "Everything Else About Your Life Is Not" "The One True Cashier" and "True Cobalt Blue"

Pasi asks honestly for things while the newly blonde Rios goes to the river to be a good samaritan and a bad example. Snap an ankle to this one kids! Alternate titles include: "Be Breakfast Now" "Bullets and Hair Dye" and "Butterriest Boyfriend"

Pasi celebrates turning 40 with an old friend while Rios celebrates turning American with a new gun. It's the only podcast that uses all the amendments at once! Alternate titles for this episode include "Yelling at an Urn" "1:70" and "Me × You = Uh Uh"

Rios is concerned with proper terminology and home security, Pasi is an entitled white man to his girlfriend and Randy is stereotypically good at math. It's another Chumba and Wumba shootout you guys! BANGBANGBANG! Alternate titles include "Homeless Bowl" "Wet Eyes And A Gun" and "69°"

Randy's not the only one with dog issues. Sad Pasi gives bad customer service while discovering the kind of comic he truly is. Rios ate a cheeseburger for all the wrong reasons. VIVA LA CHUMBA AND WUMBA! Alternate titles include "I Can't Think Of Any More Justin Long Movies" "At Least You Still Got It" and "Backdoor.com"

Live from in front of Rios's house! The boys TRY to discuss how Pasi has a wandering eye, Rios has a dangerous training regimen and a not at all dangerous addiction, as well as comedy's greatest nemesis. But what they really end up talking about is Randy's dog. This one is YARDCORE! Alternate titles include: "Jean Claude Canned Ham" "Mouth bleeder" and "Inevitable Life Cook"

Pasi misses his girlfriend, Rios is gonna miss his girlfriend's mom, and the boys reminisce on the sad times that made them start doing this in the first place. Alternate titles include: "Does He Have a Gun" "I Had To Go Through Idaho " and "The Ferrari"

Pasi gets disrespected while house sitting, Rios creepily picks an old hobby back up, and the boys do a little relationship role play. Alternate titles include: "Boy Hole" "Less Ollies More Naps" and "Put a Hat On It"

Rios' body gets critiqued at home, Pasi is trying to OD on his emotions and both of them deserve to lose the 2020 Portland's Funniest Person contest Alternate titles include "I Came Here to Cry Bro" "None of My Friends Have Eyes" and "It's a Size Thing"

Rios is home alone and when he's not he's misunderstood. Pasi deals with videogame and canine grief. Alternate titles include: "All Toys Matter" "What's up Whores" and "Beltless Death"

Rios has a problematic toy collection, Pasi yells problematic things out of cars, and Randy can't tell what part of himself June belongs to. They also discuss Gay Pride, merch ideas, and protecting their families from this very podcast Alternate titles include "Motherf*ckers Always Tryna Ice Skate Uphill" "I Need Another Hole" and "Stingy Big Nosed Gays"

The boys discuss ironic nap settings, online AA meetings and Iceland (?) They also go to great lengths to make sure they never get booked in Philadelphia. Alternate episode titles include "Easter Island" "Fat In Weird Places" and "Savvy"

The boys mock Portland comedy drama, learn about renter's rights and come up with a new gift for people who donate to the show. Then they get serious and sad. Alternate episode titles include: "Jizz 11" "My Pedometer is Gonna Read the Same" and "3 Years"

This isn't an episode. Please listen to it, all the way to the end.

Rios has another brother! New beds, native Samoan cuisine and an idea for an even less appropriate podcast are discussed. Alternate episode titles include "Kong Island Bats" "Make us All Chinese" and "Support Live Groceries"

The boys continue to unravel during quarantine. Pasi gets a work husband while Rios yells at his toys. Rios also found the worst way to measure a swimming pool's size. Alternate titles include: "He's No Straight Randy" "Hard Shells Like the Rest of Your People" and "It's Not Gonna Mop Itself" Intro by Luke Messimer Outro by Larry and His Flask

The boys discuss their new fitness routines. Pasi gets commended and reprimanded at work, Rios has a new Tattoo, and Richard Gere's wisest words get shared. Alternate titles include "What Is Your Favorite Nail To Use?" "400" and "1st Loudest 3rd Funniest" Intro & Outro music by Luke Messimer

From quarantine the boys discuss hockey enforcers, comedy dreams and pinball. Randy wins the podcast forever. Shout out to Tory Ward who is very funny in real life. Alternate titles include "Seattle Chins" "I Treat Pinball the Way I Treat Women" and "Goon Please"

The boys communicate across town to discuss the pandemic's affect on comedy and their employment. But most of all they talk about a certain Netflix docuseries. I saw Chumba. And the Chumba saw Wumba. Alternate titles: Randy Domestic Mascara With The Ladies Mostly Crotch and Nipple To donate to the Helium staff, please visit the gofundme page: https://www.gofundme.com/f/portland-helium-comedy-club-staff For donations to Cranival Studios, @cranvialstudios on Venmo.

The boys discuss their father's anatomy, sharing the stage with the 2019 SICC winner and the effects of PC culture on comedy. Alternate titles include "Cold Dead Numbers" "Thick Ankled Pizza" and "The Pick Up Dad"

The boys are back with the best episode yet - the clip show. Definitely listen to What's More Metal wherever you get podcasts. Alternate Titles are UMMM and HEEYYYY.

Rios won't stop counting with his f*cking hands, Pasi can hopefully stop drinking. Randy comes out. Alternate titles include "A Little Bit of Orange in Me" and "Counterpunch Joke Writing"

This one doesn't even make it out of the plugs before going bad. The boys discuss going on the road together, In N Out, and the controversy surrounding the latest Willamette Week Funniest Five. Alternate titles: Loads of Love Leave Charlotte Flair Alone They Look Bigger in Their Hands

The boys discuss Rios being Pasi, their shortcomings as big brothers, and the fallout from Ari Shaffir's Kobe Bryant jokes Alternate titles: Patrice O'meal My Size Barbie Stage Polacks

Nearly a year to the day, the boys are fat in town.