Podcasts about Savvy

God's story isn't over yet. It's still unfolding, even in the middle of uncertainty. This week, Bible Savvy explores Philippians 1:12–30, where Paul shows us that even in our hardest moments, God is still at work. Looking for the bible Project videos on Philippians? You can find them here!

Discover the best place to keep your cash for stability and growth! Learn where high-net-worth individuals store money for maximum growth potential and uncover the history of banking through high-cash-value whole life insurance contracts—the same strategies used by banks and major corporations. Perfect for investors, entrepreneurs, and anyone seeking financial freedom through proven, low-risk wealth-building strategies. In this … Continue reading The Smartest Way to Grow Wealth: Why Savvy Investors Shift Cash Out of 401(k)s | Episode 143 →

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Special Patreon Release: Janelle Rupp Conversations with your Teen About Sex Puberty and Identity   *DISCLAIMER* This episode contains adult themes and is not intended for little ears.   "Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm." Proverbs 13:20 (NIV)   *Transcript Below*   Questions We Discuss: Perhaps one of the most asked questions by Christian singles is, "How far is too far?" How do you respond to that question? Knowing the importance of educating ourselves as adults, what is the most popular sexual behavior among teens? What are some wise and age-appropriate guidelines recommend for teaching our kids about sex and sexuality?   Janelle Rupp is a Christ-follower, wife & mom of three (in that order).  Upon graduating from Cedarville University with a Bachelor's of Science in Nursing and a Minor in Biblical Studies, she worked nine years as a Pediatric ICU nurse before transitioning into nine years of nursing education for the Empower Life Center of Peoria, Illinois. There she specialized in Sexual Health with an emphasis on Sexual-Risk Avoidance. After moving to the Atlanta, Georgia area, Janelle developed a Biblically-based, Christian & Home school curriculum entitled “Remember Whose You Are: Rooting Human Sexuality in Gospel Identity." Using an expositional study of Genesis 1-3 alongside evidence-based scientific research, the four-unit program builds on itself to establish how gospel identity determines holy & healthy & holy sexuality. With a passion for both science & Scripture, Janelle is currently teaching the curriculum at North Cobb Christian School while watching the Lord grow the program at schools nation-wide.  She can be reached at jrupp.rememberwhoseyouare@gmail.com.   Recommended website for Parents: axis.org   Thank you to our sponsor: Daisy Kings Use code SAVVY to Save!   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook, Instagram or Our Website   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”   Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”   Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”   Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”   John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcript*   Music: (0:00 – 0:09)   Laura Dugger: (0:09 - 1:31) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here. Today's message is not intended for little ears.   We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.   Thank you to Daisy King's, a skincare brand that meets simplicity. Their tallow-based products are made with wholesome, God-given ingredients to deeply nourish, restore, and protect your skin.   There are no toxins, no fillers, just pure, effective skincare. Visit DaisyKings.com to nourish, restore, and glow.   Janelle Rupp is my guest today, and she packed so much knowledge and inspiration into this time by educating us on a healthy view of sex, sharing God's holy and awe-inspiring design of our bodies, and ways that all of this points to Him.   She also is going to include meaningful conversations to have with our children throughout the years that they're in our home. Here's our chat. Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Janelle.   Janelle Rupp: (1:32 - 1:35) Thanks so much, Laura. I'm so glad to be with you today.   Laura Dugger: (1:35 - 1:42) Will you just get us started by telling us a little bit about your faith journey and where it's brought you to today?   Janelle Rupp: (1:43 - 4:51) Sure. I was raised in a Christian home. I remember from a young age actually being struck with the realization that God loved me so much that He sent His own son for me.   But it really was probably more in my teenage years that I realized the depth of my sin, that it was great, and that Jesus was that bridge between who God was and who I was. Also, early on in my life, I knew I wanted to be a nurse, which is actually kind of interesting because there was no one in my family who was a nurse or in healthcare. But I had watched my mom care well for others in her family who had a myriad of mental and physical health problems.   So, I do think that the compassion that God put in my heart at a young age did find its place in a healthcare setting just over time and experiences I watched her. I really felt like my dream job would be to work in preventative healthcare, specifically with teenagers. And I had a heart for girls in really tough situations like teenage pregnancy.   It's a very marginalized group of humanity. And so, after college, I ended up in the pediatric intensive care unit at Riley Children's Hospital in Indianapolis for about seven years. And during that time, I met my husband.   We got married. We had our first child. And then while pregnant with our second, we decided to move closer to my extended family back in Illinois.   And a few years after I had our second child, I actually ended up landing that dream job that I felt like the Lord had laid on my heart way back in college. And so, I started the Empower Life Center in Peoria, Illinois in 2008. And I worked there for nearly 10 years as a nurse educator, teaching parenting and newborn classes.   But my primary role was a sexual risk avoidance educator, specializing in sexually transmitted disease and infections. And I would teach in public schools and private schools and charter schools. It's a junior high and high school level and also a guest lecturer at Bradley University in Peoria, Illinois.   And I always tell people that no one grows up and hopes to be a sex teacher one day. I did not envision that God would put me in that area of education, but he did. And so, after 10 years of doing that, when our family then transitioned down to Atlanta, Georgia for a job transfer for my husband, we had chosen to put our kids, now three kids at that point, in Christian education.   And within months, the middle school principal had heard about my background and approached me to create a curriculum for their fifth through eighth graders that was centered on a biblical view of sex and sexuality. So, I spent a series of months developing that curriculum. I then decided to go ahead and accept a teaching job to teach that curriculum.   And it's entitled Remember Whose You Are. And it's designed as a four unit developmentally appropriate program for Christian schools or homeschool environments. And currently we're in the beginning stages of equipping and training other schools to implement it at their school as well.   Laura Dugger: (4:52 - 5:17) Wow, that is so interesting to hear how you got interested in teaching others this healthy view of God and sex. And at the foundation of your teaching, you begin with a theology of God. So, I'd love to zero in on just one of your points that God is a relational God.   Will you elaborate on that and share how it ties into this topic we're discussing today?   Janelle Rupp: (5:18 - 7:13) For sure. One of my goals in teaching this is just to help my students see God for who he is, fall in love with who he is. And God being relational is one of the places where I always notice that beginning to take shape.   I find evidence for that in Genesis 1:26, where it says, “and God said, let us make man in our image after our likeness.” The definition of the word relational means a desire to pursue relationship or connection with another. And before we think of God pursuing relationship with us, it's actually really critical to look at that verse and note that God is already relational within himself. So, we see evidence in that verse that he's referring to himself in a plural sense.   And when we take that alongside other areas of Scripture as well, we see God existing as Trinity, Father, Son and Spirit, three in one, indicating that God does not need humanity for relationship. He only desires humanity for relationship. And one day, actually, when I was teaching that to a group of fifth grade boys last year, I said, God does not need you, but he wants you.   One of the fifth grade boys, in all complete sincerity, said, “Aww.” And it was one of the sweetest things I had ever heard because it was this very honest verbal expression of what it felt like to know that we are wanted by the God of the universe. I tell my students, “You know, someone only wants relationship with you when they love you.”   And so, while 1 John 4:8 tells us, “that God is love.” It's pretty amazing that way back in the first chapter of Genesis, as we find God creating man and creating woman, He's still incredibly loving that He even desired to create it in the first place. So, I think God being relational is such an important aspect to the who and the why of who He is.   Laura Dugger: (7:14 - 7:28) Absolutely. And I really envision this chat being a time when parents can listen alongside their teen or their tween or whenever it's age appropriate. So, will you just give us a glimpse of what you do teach in schools?   Janelle Rupp: (7:29 - 13:04) I would be happy too. The very first unit is just the who and the why of God. We focus on 10 characteristics of God, and then we transition to the who and the why of humanity.   What do all humans have in common? And we highlight eight characteristics that we all share in common. And then unit two, it's centered on the who and the why of me.   And specifically looking at Genesis 1:27, identity means that we're made in the image of God and that we are made male and female. So, Genesis 1:27 says, “So God made man in his own image, in the image of God, he made them male and female, he created them.” So, here we really want to introduce what does it mean to be made in the image of God as a social being, emotional being, a spiritual being, an intellectual being?   But also, what does it mean to be made with this physical body, male or female? And so, we introduced the reproductive system with an emphasis on puberty and human growth and development. And within that introduction, in that unit, I do something that's historically not been done in Christian settings, which is that I am teaching both the male and the female reproductive system to both genders.   And this next sentence may sound a little odd to some of your listeners. I know my students sometimes giggle when I say it, but I see the glory of God when I study the anatomy of both the male and the female reproductive systems and the intricacies of the design in order to see how they both work perfectly together. To me, it's awe-inspiring.   And so, I believe females have every right to see and begin to grasp the design of a male reproductive system. We use really basic anatomical diagrams for that. And then males equally have every right to see and begin to understand the basics of the female reproductive system using a diagram.   And my approach to that is clinical and scientific. It's definitely from an anatomy perspective. But I also make sure to take the time to point out some of, again, the beauty of the design.   For example, females, when they are born, are born with all the eggs that they will ever, ever have in their ovaries. And this design is super perfect because it means that you and I are not going to be 70 years old and find out that we're unexpectedly pregnant. Eventually, those eggs will run out about in our mid-40s.   And I always thank God for that design. It is a good design. Another one is just the female cervix.   The female cervix doesn't reach full maturity and protection until our early to mid-20s, where it then provides this wonderful protective barrier between the external and internal anatomy of the female reproductive system. When you explain things like that, I literally watch the kids have what I call light bulb moments, where they begin to see the why behind the design. And it's so important.   They've never taken the time to look at that and to hear it. In fact, I often call the reproductive system the forgotten body system. Christian kids in particular, they will get through a whole unit on the body having never talked about the reproductive system.   And if they are, then usually they're taught just about their own gender and they're missing that overarching beauty of what God designed. So, I think it's really important to highlight that reproductive system and for both genders. But in Unit 3, we move from the foundation of just gospel identity as made in His image and male and female into then specifically human sexuality.   And we use mostly Genesis 2 as we look through this about how God designed marriage and God designed sex, which is super clear in Genesis 2:24 and says, “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and take hold of his wife and they will become one flesh.” And so, God's design for marriage and sex is clear that it's between a man and a woman. And also that that man and woman should follow the order of this verse.   First, that they leave and leaving might be dating. It might be courting. It might be pursuing a relationship.   However, we set those boundaries for our kids. And then second, that they would take hold and experience the intimacy and blessing of marriage, referencing that connection that God put Adam and Eve in through marriage. And third and last in that order, but that they become one flesh, which is referencing sex.   And so, after explaining that very good design, we transition into Genesis 3. And honestly, I love how Moses starts off the chapter here, Genesis 3, by saying, “Now the serpent.” And I always tell the kids that I hear that music in my head of dun, dun, dun. Like you just know that everything is going to change.   This good design is going to change and it's not changing for the better. And so, we start then looking at all the distortions that sin has caused within the overall topic of sex. And that means not just looking at premarital sex, but also adultery, pornography, sexting, gender identity, sexual identity.   And honestly, that list just keeps on growing every year that I teach. And so, then unit four, that last unit, is what I call the now what unit. In light of taking everything that we know now about gospel identity and human sexuality, I really encourage the kids to start really thinking about how they practically should be living in relationships with someone that they're attracted to and that they want to pursue.   And we use the entire Bible to help us answer that question. We actually end that unit with the question and answer panel discussion, using questions that the students have come up with through the course of that week. And it's always a sweet time of conversation focused on, again, gospel identity and human sexuality.   Laura Dugger: (13:06 - 13:19) Oh my goodness, that is so amazing and comprehensive. If parents are listening and they're wondering just about that diagram, what age do you recommend showing something like that? How would you respond to that question?   Janelle Rupp: (13:20 - 14:08) That's an excellent question. So, we're doing that in sixth grade. You know, it always depends on what your child's exposure and experience is, what their environment is, and their curiosity.   I think each child is so different. But in general, sixth grade would be age 11, 12, I think that's 10 to 12 for sure. But even you could probably push it as you're talking about puberty, which is where we interject it, just because it gives reference to what is a period for a girl?   Or what are the changes as a male that I'm having inside my body right now? Where's that coming from? So, I think starting as young as eight or nine to 10.   No later really than 12, I think would be really, really important.   Laura Dugger: (14:09 - 14:16) Thank you. That is helpful. I'm assuming that you're everybody's favorite teacher and that this is their favorite course to take.   Janelle Rupp: (14:17 - 14:48) We have a lot of fun. And I love when the kids buy into it. You know, sometimes I'll find that kids come in and they're a little hesitant to talk about this or they feel awkward by it.   But I think, you know, coming at it from both a clinical perspective, but also a biblical perspective, doing my best to keep them at ease and have fun as we have these conversations. Eventually, they loosen up over time. And it ends up being a really sweet time to talk about stuff that really, really matters in life.   Laura Dugger: (14:48 - 15:05) It does. And you're sharing so much truth. And it is the truth that sets us free.   And I can see where that would overcome so much confusion. So, let's even get really practical. When you're teaching these young people about sex, how do you define it?   Janelle Rupp: (15:06 - 19:12) This is such a great question. No one's ever actually asked me this. And I think it's so, so important.   The CDC definition of sex, it is very complete in its definition. It does a really good job covering what I believe are really important distinctives within that definition. And so, that definition is, quote, “Sex is defined as any part of your body and or specifically your reproductive area coming into contact with another person's body and or specifically their reproductive area.”   And one of the key points that I want to point out from this definition includes this phrase, reproductive area. I find my students have no reference for that, and even adults often don't. But simply put, the reproductive area is anything on the outside of the body that covers the reproductive system organs on the inside of the body.   So, this area actually extends from the belly button down to the genitals. A lot of times we only reference those genitals, but it actually extends belly button down to the genitals. And so, again, people are often surprised by that.   But at the same time, you know, whether it's called the reproductive area or maybe a private area, people do commonly recognize the importance of keeping that area safe and private. I often stick with that phrase, reproductive area, to reference the importance of trust when it comes to keeping things safe and private as a jumping off point to just help the kids see that a person is trustworthy if they keep you safe and if they keep things private. And again, such an important thing that we need to teach our children is that if someone pushes past what feels safe for us or pushes past areas on our body that are private, our children need to know, and we need to know those are not trustworthy people.   And furthermore, we should then give our children permission to tell someone that they do trust, hopefully us, but somebody that they do trust, somebody that keeps things safe and private about any person whose words or actions don't prove trustworthy. And as a side note, giving kids appropriate anatomical names is so important for this as well. But if you aren't using those terms and they don't understand it, we're speaking a language that they can't understand and maybe aren't able to convey.   And so, I think additionally, as children get older and you continue to reference that reproductive area as an area you keep private, I think it's super important to keep going back to theology and to Scripture. And in Genesis 1 and 2, we don't see anything having to be kept private because there was nothing that needed to be private. And in fact, the end of Genesis 2 says in verse 25, “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” My students giggle when we get to that verse because that sounds so foreign to them.   But reminding them that again, God's design was so good that there was nothing to be held back. They were fully intimately known by God and fully intimately known by each other and also without sin. But then when sin enters in Genesis 3, as Eve is tempted and enticed by the serpent, Adam is tempted, and enticed by Eve.   We see in that instant that sin changes every single thing because it causes Adam and Eve to then feel ashamed before God. They want to hide from God. It causes them to feel ashamed between each other.   They want to blame each other and it causes them to lose their sense of identity and purpose. And this is what happens to us, too, when sex and sin become entwined. It causes shame.   It causes us to hide. It makes us want to blame others. It causes us to question our identity and question our purpose.   But even though sexual sin changes the heart of man, it does not change the heart of God. And so, if our heart's desire is to love God in return for the love He's shown us, then our heart's desire should be to orient our lives around His design for our lives. And I would say even especially orienting our lives around His design for marriage and sex.   Laura Dugger: (19:13 - 19:23) Perhaps one of the most asked questions by Christian Singles is, How far is too far? So, how do you respond to that question?   Janelle Rupp: (19:24 - 25:50) Yes, I mean, this is the question that inevitably somebody's going to ask in my classes every single year. And no doubt, I mean, I think everyone has asked that question at some point or another in their lives. I certainly did.   And I was told that that was the wrong question. And I want to explain why first and then tell you how I answer it. But the reason was because when we look at Scripture in terms of holiness, which is having our heart completely for God versus idolatry, which means having our heart turned to something else, we see over and over and over in Scripture that we can't serve two masters.   We can't serve both holiness and idolatry. Matthew 6:24 is a great example. It's talking about the idolatry of money.   But it does say that whenever our heart is going after two things, we will either end up being devoted to the one and hate the other or devoted to the other and thus hate the one. And so, in other words, as we apply it to this question, we actually can't just straddle the line of both holiness and idolatry. And a lot of times that's where this heart of motivation of how far is too far is like, what line is the line that I can get to and still be holy?   But we really can't try to find and live on that line, because healthy and holy sexuality and sexual immorality doesn't exist. It is one or it is the other. And so, that's an important truth of Scripture.   I'm always in complete agreement with everything that I just said. But I also recognize that the Bible is really, really clear on how to give us direction in terms of setting boundaries and learning how to escape and endure temptation rather than to be enticed by it. And so, I teach my students a method to answer this question using an acronym called GRAY, G-R-A-Y, just to help them think biblically and critically about this question.   And actually it can be applied to any what I call the gray areas of life where Scripture may not specifically be very black and white about what we can and can't do. For example, another easy gray area topic within this same kind of umbrella idea would be dating. We aren't specifically told if we're to encourage our kids towards dating or courting or maybe arrange marriages.   Right. And yet I believe that there's four specific steps that we can use to determine the heart of God for our lives when it comes to gray areas of life. And so, the G in gray stands for go to God and it refers to prayer.   James 1:5 encourages believers to ask God for wisdom. It says, “He will give it generously to anyone who asks.” And I think praying for wisdom is such a foundational place to start on any topic, but specifically this one.   And then the R in the acronym stands for read the word. I always encourage my students and I would encourage parents as well, actively study the word of God, finding verses that give direction for decision making on this question. How far is too far?   One that I think jumped out at me is First Corinthians 10:23. As it's again, speaking of idolatry of the heart and it says, “all things are lawful, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful. I can do all things, but not all things are building up. And so, let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.”   So, when you apply that verse to this question of how far is too far, you begin to see that the question isn't so much is kissing OK, is anything done with our clothes on OK? But the question is more what behavior is helpful for me as I try to honor Christ with my body? What behavior builds up my desire to honor Christ with my life and or what behavior seeks to honor the person that I'm with?   And so, again, I think reading scripture can help us be able to know how to reframe that question and create boundaries. And then the A in gray stands for ask for advice. And here I encourage teens to seek out someone who is doing relationships well.   In other words, is there a couple that they admire, someone older than them that they admire, maybe a friend or sibling or a friend of a sibling, a teacher, a parent, a youth group leader? I found in my own life that God often gives wisdom through people like that. And actually, in the last 10 years, as I've been teaching this type of material, I found that asking couples that I respect this very same question.   How did you answer? How far is too far? It brings some of the best responses and encouragement that then I can share with my students to help them learn and grow.   So, I think asking for advice is a vital part of this. And then lastly, the Y stands for yield. It is the last step.   And yet it's such an important part of answering this question. Yield just simply means to wait. And you and I both know this generation does not like to wait.   Instinct gratification is their thing. And yet teaching them that there's so much value in yielding when we don't have clear answers to critical questions like this. So, I actually love to literally walk this out in front of the classroom.   I will demonstrate how, when I yield, I hold back on decisions such as how far is too far. I am always allowing myself room to continue to walk forward as I feel more certainty over the answer or I feel more led with the wisdom that God is continuing to give. However, if I walk forward without clarity, if I'm pushing boundaries that are perhaps lawful, I can.   But they're not to my benefit, not to my partner's benefit. Then it's very realistic that I am going to push farther than I am able to handle. It's going to bring harm to the relationship that I am in.   And I can't ever go back. The truth is that the line between being enticed by sin versus escaping and enduring the temptation to turn from sin. It's a thin line.   And so, helping teenagers with these four steps, I think just think more critically about where to set those boundaries is important. And then I do usually go on to encourage students to be really specific in writing out those boundaries. I'm a big fan that writing is remembering.   It stores in our long-term memory. And then to even share those boundaries in order to have accountability with them.   Laura Dugger: (25:51 - 27:47) And now a brief message from our sponsor. I would like to specifically address the ladies. Because let's talk skin care.   As moms, as women, we spend so much time caring for everyone else. But what about us? If you're tired of dull or dry skin and products filled with chemicals and fillers, it is time for something better.   God designed our skin to thrive with real nourishing ingredients. 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But I think this is really helpful having you share statistics.   So, what are some statistics you think we need to be aware of to educate us on sexuality and youth in America right now?   Janelle Rupp: (27:49 - 29:55) Yes, you know, this is constantly changing. And so, I do look for these on the regular. And so, the ones I'm currently kind of using as I educate this year, the average age of first pornography exposure is currently 11 years old.   And 1 out of every 10 visitors to porn sites are actually under the age of 10. And 22% of those are regular visitors to those sites. It's not that they're just there once.   They're regular visitors. When you talk about that next age group, 11 to 17-year-olds, 53% of them are accessing pornography. In addition, 1 out of every 14 are receiving sexually explicit material through social media, through texting.   And 1 out of every 17 are sending it, which is an interesting thing. I always tell my students that means that as people are receiving it, they're sending it to more than one person. And so, you know, somehow we could think that it's a conversation maybe staying between two people.   And almost in every case, that is not the reality. 41% of teens are engaging in sexual behavior and oral sex and vaginal sex and anal sex and what I call outer course. Every 11 minutes, CPS finds evidence of sexual abuse claims.   And 2 out of every 3 of those are age 12 to 17 years old. And then lastly, and this is kind of newer from a research study that is an important one, but identifying as LGBTQ+, has actually risen in teens on average by 4% in the last 5 years. Girls being higher than boys.   Girls averaging about 5% increase and boys at 3%. And I think, you know, you give those 9 quick statistics, and I'll be honest, you know, even every time I have to say them, I get that sinking feeling in my stomach. It takes a lot to shock me after 10 years of working with teens on this topic.   But it never feels good to say those out loud. I think it just reflects such brokenness on behalf of our culture's view of sex and sexuality.   Laura Dugger: (29:57 - 30:09) Wow, that is sobering. And if that reality feels alarming or overwhelming to a parent listening, then how would you advise them to educate their son or daughter?   Janelle Rupp: (30:10 - 33:09) Yeah, I think the scariest thing is when we allow those feelings that we're having to really just cripple us and our ability to parent our children through them. I had a mom come up last year, and she said, I'm just really exhausted by it all. I'm tired of checking up on my kid.   And, you know, as a mom of teenagers, I hear that. I resonate with that. But I think we need to fight through those feelings and encourage each other to fight through those feelings in order to parent with intention and godliness when it comes to these subjects.   I developed this Remember Who's You Are curriculum for students, but I 100% believe that parents are to be the first go-to for our kids on these topics, whether they feel like they have all the answers or not. It's really not the role of the school, nor of the church, nor of the youth pastor. It is primarily and foundationally the role of parents, with ideally then the school and the church, you know, locking arms with parents, coming alongside with a similar message.   And so, when it comes to equipping parents, which is something I feel strongly about as well, in order to have these ongoing conversations, I break down educating parents with three regular statements to help them kind of combat those feelings of overwhelmed or anxiousness when it comes to these topics. And the first regular statement would be to regularly educate yourself. We can't teach what we don't know.   And so, parents need to have answers to questions, and I'm going to give a series of questions here that I think need to be answered as examples, but there's certainly more. But questions like, what is God's design? Again, what is the reproductive area?   What does sexting mean? What does sending nudes mean? Because that's becoming actually a more popular phrase right now than using the phrase sexting.   Why is not porn good for our brains if it actually keeps us from not having sex outside of God's design? That's a question I've been asked. And a follow-up to that, what does the Bible say about masturbation?   How does a condom work? I've been asked that one. What is the most popular sexual behavior among teens?   Those are some toughies. You don't just kind of like pop out an answer to that without dedicating some time to researching those answers. I don't think that this needs to be an overwhelming amount of time.   In fact, I actually just encourage parents to set aside 15 to 20 minutes once a week, maybe even once every other week, but just put it on the calendar so that you really devote yourself to that time. You know, I think we dedicate ourselves as parents to things we care about. And I don't mean to say this harshly, but many moms spend much more time exercising than they do in their Bibles and figuring out answers to these questions and apologetic type answers.   And parents, you know, we spend a lot of time talking to our kids about sports and grades. And yet these are topics that have lasting relational impacts for their lives, not just in our family, but in their family to come. And so, we have to be diligent to set aside time and regularly educate ourselves.   Laura Dugger: (33:09 - 33:38) Janelle, I love all of this that you're saying. And I just want to pause on this first step of educating ourselves as the adults and as the parents. So, listening to something like this, hopefully people feel encouraged already doing a great job educating yourself.   And so, let's just answer a couple of those questions because it can be hard to know where do I go to find out these answers. I'm careful to Google this because something may pop up that I don't want to see.   Janelle Rupp: (33:38 - 33:38) Right.   Laura Dugger: (33:38 - 33:46) So, let's go with two of them. One of them you said is what is the most popular sexual behavior among teens right now?   Janelle Rupp: (33:47 - 34:46) Yeah, I think that this one is a little bit shocking for parents. And they often are unaware of where their teens are at as they are pushing boundaries on sexual behavior. You know, when I was growing up, oral sex became, and that's mouth to genitals, but that became a really popular sexual behavior.   And I remember hearing people say, well, that makes me feel a virgin because I now have not had vaginal sex. And so, again, just continuing to push these boundaries. So, now today's teenagers are past oral sex.   That's become just something that's normal and acceptable. And the most popular sexual behavior right now that you'll actually they will talk about and do would be anal sex right now, which is the anal area, which is obviously I always point this out, not actually the reproductive system, but in fact, the expiratory or the end of the digestive system. But that is the most popular sexual behavior among teens currently.   Laura Dugger: (34:47 - 35:14) That is really helpful to hear. And even years ago, when I was practicing as a marriage and family therapist, something that we learned was that the rise in pornography exposure was also corresponding or correlating with this rise in pressure for women to engage in anal sex. And that was a lot of times where it was coming from.   I'm assuming very similar with teens.   Janelle Rupp: (35:15 - 35:59) Yes, absolutely. And as our culture continues to kind of push the envelope on trying to get teenagers and adults to accept pornography is a natural part of human sexuality. I think we will just continue to see that behavior pushed more and more and more just among teens and relationships in general, which is really devastating.   I think of so many of these behaviors that are very degrading, particularly to women, but even to men. And again, that women, that girls would be thinking that that is considered an acceptable part of a relationship is such a tragedy, really. And again, just so reflective of the brokenness of our culture.   Laura Dugger: (36:00 - 36:19) And you bring up another question I want to follow up with, Ben, because porn is so destructive for a lifetime. But how do you answer that question if parents want to educate themselves of somebody making an argument of why not pornography if it keeps them from engaging in penetrative sex?   Janelle Rupp: (36:20 - 38:18) Yeah, so, there's some excellent websites that you can find that talk about the damaging effects of pornography. And I found, you know, good resources. Anyone's welcome to email me.   I'll include that later. But to get some of those resources. But it really does change and alter, actually, the connections that are created in the brain.   And one of the, I think, more interesting studies on pornography in the brain, as they looked at men who were watching and engaging in pornography, it would continually light up an area of the brain and stimulate it, which is an area of the brain that is usually lit and stimulated when a man would use power tools. And that's concerning on, I think, a couple of levels. One, that is degrading.   And again, this human made in the image of God to something that is to be just used. Right. And then second, anytime we engage in pornography, we are we're engaging more with a screen than a person.   And so, that intimacy level, that is something that's so precious about sex. You know, sex isn't just for making babies. It isn't just for this intimate connection.   It isn't just for pleasure. But it is to be wholly represented, all three of those when we look at God's design. But when we engage with pornography, we're completely reducing it down to one person's pleasure, one person's use.   And so, again, those connections that are supposed to exist between people now exist between a person and their screen. And you'll see across the board, these are people who easily get addicted. It's meant to be addicted, experience increased levels of depression, anxiety, suicide.   Grades go down for teenagers. They lose friends. So much research showing the devastating impact of pornography.   Laura Dugger: (38:19 - 38:32) That is really helpful. Thank you for sharing that. And back to that greater question. So, when you're advising parents to educate themselves, that's the first step. What's the next step in the process?   Janelle Rupp: (38:33 - 41:29) So, the second step that I recommend is to regularly to enter in. We aren't called to be our kids' best friends. We're called to step into their lives.   And that means stepping into friendships and relationships. It actually means stepping into their phone. You know, the amount of parents that tell me, I feel really bad because it's their phone.   And yet it's something that the parent is paying for, right? And so, that is a part of our lives, too. Theirs and ours.   But stepping into social media pages, their schools, their activities. And I think we don't have to be creepy about it. And that's what I think parents most, they're like, I don't want to creep my kid out or make them pull away.   I just think we have to be really intentional beforehand that we're developing this relationship of trust and communication. So, Josh McDowell has said rules without relationship equal rebellion. And so, the flip side of that is that when I have rules where I'm entering in and I have relationships where I'm entering in, that will equal trust.   And so, we need to keep entering in because we want to keep earning their trust. It goes both ways. We want that trust and communication.   So, entering in out of a desire for relationship, but also entering in with boundaries and rules for our kids in order to continue to build that trust between us. And then the third regularly statement is to regularly extend grace to yourself. Guilt and shame cannot go away without grace.   And a lot of us live with guilt and shame when it comes to these subjects. I often hear that that's one of the key reasons that parents will hesitate to talk to their child. They'll say to me, I don't want them to ask me about what I did.   And the only remedy for shame is grace. It's why God's plan to extend grace in sending Jesus. It's the best plan for our world because we're literally drowning in guilt and shame over these subjects.   And so, as parents, we first have to learn and work through accepting grace for ourselves. But for the purpose of extending it to others, it's very, very hard to extend grace when we haven't accepted it ourselves. And so, I think it starts with us.   And then again, it extends out to our kids. My husband and I were working through something that was happening with our teenagers this year. And I thought it was so profound.   As he said this statement, by God's grace, our kids will never get caught up in it. But it's also that same grace that will provide a way for our kids to get out of it. And so, we need to remember God's grace is greater than all of our sins.   And we can rest in that even if we don't do everything perfectly as a parent. Even if we forget to answer one of the questions. Even if our kids choose a path that is different than what we had taught them.   God's grace is greater than all of our sins.   Laura Dugger: (41:30 - 43:53) And I don't think we can hear that enough. So, thank you for that reminder.   Did you know that we are now accepting donations online through Venmo?   It's just one of our additional ways that you can give to support the work of the Savvy Sauce Charities and keep us on the air where we can keep providing this content for free. We pray that you'll consider partnering with us and generously donating before your end. Thanks for your support.   Well, Janelle, I think that you're so wise to teach parents that there's obviously no formula, and that's why it's so vitally important to keep in step with the spirit as we have these conversations with our children. But also, I'm sure that you've learned some wise and age-appropriate guidelines for teaching our kids about sex and sexuality.   So, will you share those with us for the different age ranges?   Janelle Rupp: (43:55 - 50:10) Yes, I think you're exactly right. There isn't a set formula because, again, as I mentioned before, every kid is different. Every experience and exposure is different.   But there are some general guidelines in order to, again, have these regular conversations with our kids. So, beginning ages kind of three to seven, I think focusing on what it means to be made in God's image, what it means to have a male part versus female part, how that kind of defines each gender. And understanding also what is private and safe within that is important.   So, one of the things that I did with my kids is very early on, as we were bathing in those ages, we would say, Thank you, God, for our fingers and our noses, and thank you, God, for our toes, and say, Thank you, God, for a penis because you're a boy, and thank you, God, for a vagina because you're a girl, and thank you for parts that we can't see inside of us. And I would name some of those parts as well, because I think it just helps them start recognizing, again, the beauty of what it means to be created by God. And also highlighting safe pictures and unsafe pictures, safe touch and unsafe touch, and stuff that I touched on before.   I think that's important as well. But then I personally believe this is one of the best ages to begin forming a framework on the sanctity of human life, that all life is created by God and for God in the image of God. And therefore, all life should be treated with dignity, respect, and love, regardless of size, regardless of gender, regardless of skin color, regardless of neediness or challenges.   It's a really natural and important tie-in to the subject at this age. And then when you get into that next age, age 8 to 10, I kind of think of it a little bit like preteen. Just continuing on with that conversation but bringing up this word puberty.   And kids always look terrified when I say that word. And I always tell them, then puberty is not a scary word. And I'm sorry that you have this vision that it is.   But puberty really is just human growth and development that make us male and make us female. And so, I think teaching our kids not to be even afraid of that word. There are parts that we need to keep private.   And yes, we don't need to talk about that with everybody. But these are not wrong or bad parts. They're parts that are created by God for God.   And God is a good God. And God is a sovereign God. And so, He created it for our good with us in mind.   And so, just continuing to engage and encourage our kids on those ideas at age 10. And then 10 to 12, and some educators would say sex should be introduced by age 10. I found that based on just, again, the exposure that my kids had, we had this type of a conversation as they headed into more age 11.   I think it for sure should be talked about before age 12. But at that point, you want to make sure you're including just a framework on what biblical sex and marriage is and what it's purposed for. Again, purpose for procreation, making babies, purpose for intimacy, even purpose for pleasure.   Listen, no 10 to 12-year-old is going to understand that part yet, which is fine because you're going to revisit it later when they're kids. This is a regular thing, right? But you want them to hear it from you.   You want them to hear it from you first so they understand that you are trustworthy. And so, they should be taught that sex is best seen in that context of marriage. One man, one woman that have left their father and mother, they've taken hold of each other in marriage.   And as a result, then a parent and actually ideally both parents, mom and dad, are able to help a child understand that framework and also recognize basic deviations outside of that framework. Not just that sex before marriage is outside, but also sex outside of marriage, the sexual and gender identity confusion. Anything that's falling outside of God's design for marriage and sex is a deviation from what he designed.   And then in that kind of 13 and older, recommendations that I make is always that you begin to establish a really good framework on how to have God-honoring relationships with someone of the opposite gender. I actually highly recommend Ephesians chapter 5 as you make this plan with your child. And a couple key points that it talks about within that chapter is that we treat those in the faith, those that share our common belief in Jesus Christ as brothers and sisters in Christ, in friendship and in a possible relationship, but one that has a lot of purpose and a plan in place.   But then we treat those who are not sharing our faith with love, but yet an understanding that those aren't relationships that I can pursue because I can't have an expectation that they are going to bring me closer to Christ, whereas the other should. And so, as parents within that, again, 13 and older category, you really need to start paying very much attention and entering in into those relationships that they have with their friends and their peers, because this is the second biggest impact maker on their decision-making next to you. Proverbs 13:20 says, “He who walks with the wise will be wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.”   I really believe in parents. If you need to change up their environment in order to help them form more God-honoring relationships in step with that Ephesians 5, we should not be afraid to do so. And again, continuing to expand on those other frameworks before, because regular conversations, but you're just getting into greater detail, more fine-tuning.   And I actually think at this age, too, you're digging deep into the truth of Scripture with your child. So, you let them come alongside you as you're learning how to answer these questions so that they can continue to refine who they are in Christ and to refine how to keep accountable with the Word of God and to refine how to set boundaries and how to navigate relationships in what I call purposeful dating versus purposeless dating. And purposeful dating, really just the overarching idea there is just that in the end, if it does end, that there may be sadness, but that there is also learning that comes so that I am lessening the brokenness and damage that may come as a result as well.   Laura Dugger: (50:11 - 50:30) And I love how also in your teaching, you lay out specific guidelines that don't fit within an age category, but they're more so for children who are at cell phone age or where they have unattended internet use. So, will you share some of those guidelines with us now, too?   Janelle Rupp: (50:31 - 54:54) Yes, for sure. You know, I always say when you introduce a cell phone to your child, especially one that has internet included with that phone, it does change a little of those guidelines that I just mentioned in that you need to increase the speed and the ages or decrease the ages, technically, in which you are discussing these things. Just because you're giving them a lot of access to things that will speak an opposite message from what you would be saying.   And so, when I encourage parents to look at a couple things as they're making the decisions about when to give a cell phone, I think you're specifically looking at does your child understand what it means to be indwelled by the Holy Spirit? And are they showing evidence of the fruits of his work in their lives? In other words, do I see evidence of the Spirit in the life of my child?   And so, that means does he or she recognize self-control? They know when they have it and they know when they don't. Do they recognize how to be a peacemaker?   Do they recognize how to be loving in what they say and what they do? Do they recognize and show faithfulness, kindness, gentleness, joy, patience, all of those fruits of the Spirit? And do they recognize and show that not just in person with someone, but even behind the screen when they don't see that person face to face?   And listen, no parent is going to say, oh, yeah, 100% of the time my kid is showing evidence of the fruits of the Spirit. But if I can honestly say yes, my child is showing that he is growing in evidence of that. And then you decide this is the age for him to have a phone.   Most educators, I'll just be super clear, most educators that work with teens, they recommend an age of anywhere from 13 to 15. But when you do give that, those same adults that work with those teens will also say the following, that a device should not be allowed in a private room or a private place. There should be a family charging place.   And we are on phones when we are around other people. And then that you should also have no phone zones for us. The dinner table is one of our very most important ones so that we are learning how to, again, continue to engage in conversation with one another without our phones, which is growing the relationship building that we want to grow.   And so, we hold to those boundaries. Understanding that an all access, unmonitored pass to the Internet does break down identity. It does work against.   And there's so much evidence to this. You know, even five years ago, I was less inclined to say hard and fast rules on the use of cell phones for teens. However, more and more and more and more, we continue to see research study after research study.   There's documentaries. Now there's reports about the dangers of the unlimited, unmonitored access to screens and how it hurts our kids emotionally, intellectually, socially, spiritually and even physically. I mean, I think of less sleep.   Right. Something that I've learned over these 10 years is that no kid stumbles into pornography with the use of their phone on purpose. So, so, so many times the first time is an accident and it happens again because that Internet use is unmonitored.   And so, here's another hard truth as well. It often also happens because someone else in the house or the family may be viewing pornography and it's in that browser history or it's in the logarithm of the device they're using. And so, understanding what drives that first use, but then the ramifications of that first look.   So, even if it's an inadvertent look, the hook to pornography is so addicting. And again, we talked about the damaging effects on our brains, our emotions and our relationship. So, I just think monitoring phones and Internet access is, yes, exhausting.   I mean, I feel it. But at the same time, the risk is so great that there's no way that we can stop while they are in our home. Because the worry and the regret of, oh, I should have done X, Y, Z, I think outweighs any type of temporary exhaustion for me in my day to have to check and monitor phone use.   Laura Dugger: (54:55 - 55:21) That's such a good point. It's going to cost us energy on one side or the other. But that is a wise choice to go with the hard choice first and hopefully more of an easier or more fruitful path.   When you reflect on our conversation so far, what hope do we all have for the gospel of grace impacting us specifically as it relates to our sexuality?   Janelle Rupp: (55:23 - 58:58) When I hear that question, I really love it. I instantly think shame is a result of sin, connecting that to the grace that is shown from our Creator and our Redeemer. And all of that, again, is really on display in Genesis 3.   And so, I want to take us there as I answer that question. I tell my students shame has two definitions. There is shame as a verb to shame someone.   And then there is shame as a noun to feel shame as a result of something that we have done wrong. Shame as a verb is something we never want to do. That's not a good thing, right?   But shame as a noun is actually a God-given gift that is meant to bring us back into relationship with God. And you look at how Adam and Eve in Genesis 3. It makes me chuckle, honestly, because as they feel the shame of their sin, their next step is to create garments to cover themselves.   And their shame was so great, but they went ahead and put these fig leaves on top of their bodies, these parts that now have to be private because of shame. And I just think to myself, those fig leaves had to have been so insufficient. We do this too, though.   We come up with ways to clothe ourselves to cover up the shame that we feel. It might be past sexual sin. It might be present sexual sin.   And we try our best to hide it. We try our best to make ourselves look presentable with our covering so that people won't see our sin and see our shame. I mean, all of that is that feeling that comes from that feeling of shame as a result of sin.   But what's beautiful when we look at Genesis 3, when Adam finally comes clean about his sin and shame. And I will say, listen, he doesn't do it perfectly because God has to literally say, where are you? Knowing where he is, but like basically saying, Adam, come out, come clean, right?   But as Adam does come clean about his sin and the shame that he's feeling, right? What does God do? God covers Adam and Eve with garments that He provides and He makes from the very first shedding of blood that we see recorded in Scripture.   And I'm doing it now. I weep every single time that I talk about this part, because God knows how to deal with shame so much better than we do. He knows how to deal with our shame in a way and cover us in a way that is a once for always.   And it's Genesis 3 is just a beautiful foreshadowing of how Christ is going to be sent. And there he comes in Matthew, right? To cover shame forever.   And so, as we remember that Jesus spilled his blood on a cross and then resurrected, conquering death and sin and the grave. We also get covered by that blood so that we no longer have to hide. We no longer have to feel that shame.   And we can stand, Romans 8 says, without condemnation. “Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ,” because Christ has covered us with garments completely and perfectly for forever. And so, our hope in this for our own sin, our past sin, any present sin, any future sin, and our hope for any sin that may rise up out of the heart of our child.   It's in the gospel that the gracious and loving covering that God gives us through Jesus is complete, making us right before God for all time.   Laura Dugger: (58:58 - 1:00:05) I love that so much, Janelle. And it makes me think of, I can't remember the research study, but they tracked people's brains when they were feeling like shame or regret or guilt. And found that sometimes people who struggle with anxious thoughts, that they have an over-functioning part of their brain where they can have those feelings of shame, sometimes when they haven't done anything shameful.   So, there's almost like a real guilt or a false guilt. And all of this conversation brings me to 2 Corinthians 7:10, where God addressed that first, because in the Bible it says, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” And so, if we're going like even a level deeper to tease out that shame, sometimes we've felt that before.   Maybe, let's say, if something was done to us, and that's not the same shame that requires repentance, which is the godly sorrow. So, does that make sense?   Janelle Rupp: (1:00:05 - 1:00:28) Yes, exactly. That's exactly my point. And getting the kids to understand the difference between those shames but then seeing shame as not something that I have to push against.   Because if it is that godly shame that comes after me making a wrong choice, that is that shame to bring me closer to God in and through repentance. And again, that's a beautiful thing.   Laura Dugger: (1:00:29 - 1:00:39) It is, and it leads to freedom, which we may not think of in the moment, but that confession and bringing something to the light, that that is the best way to live.   Janelle Rupp: (1:00:39 - 1:00:40) Exactly.   Laura Dugger: (1:00:40 - 1:00:48) Are there any other important takeaways that you want parents and their children to be aware of as it applies to sex and sexuality?   Janelle Rupp: (1:00:49 - 1:02:44) Yes, you know, I think of two things here. The first being that, you know, sexual sin is really just one of many sins that Christ covers that he died for. You know, the blood of Christ covers the adulterer just as much as it covers the gossiper.   It covers the pregnant teenager and her boyfriend just as much as it covers you and I. And I think in the past, the church has overemphasized this sin and underemphasized others. But yet on the flip side, I mean, I think we really can't deny these are sins.   And even when we look at Scripture, it doesn't deny this. These are sins that carry a greater consequence and potential for enticing us towards, again, more habitual, ongoing sin in ways that just affect us deeper than other sins, which is why 1 Corinthians 6:18 says “Flee from sexual immorality.” And I'm going to pause there for just a second, because the Greek word for sexual immorality is the word pornea.   And you and I can't hear the word pornea without immediately thinking of porn. And so, I think it's fascinating that the root word for pornography is literally translated as sexual immorality. It's really an important thing.   But 1 Corinthians 6:18, again, it starts saying “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside of the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” And this means that sexual sin at its root is a problem of identity, which is, again, why you have to link that human sexuality with gospel identity.   Our aim cannot be for our children to make it to marriage having never had sex or never getting pregnant. To me, that's a low fruit. That is a low aim.   Our aim needs to be raising children with a gospel identity that is rooted in the creative and redemptive work of Jesus Christ and seeing the outgrowth from there.   Laura Dugger: (1:02:44 - 1:02:56) Wow. Well said. And if we boil all of this down, what is just one action step that you first recommend for anyone who finishes this message today?   Janelle Rupp: (1:02:57 - 1:04:19) Yeah, I'm going to give you a three-in-one just tying back to those three key regularly statements. One of the primary resources that I love to recommend in terms of educating ourselves is for parents to go to axis.org. That is A-X-I-S dot org, and sign up to receive their free Culture Translator weekly newsletter. And that will be sent to your email on a weekly basis for free.   And it gives a whole rundown of what's been happening in teen culture for that week. And just by simply opening up your email, you're going to start educating yourself. And they also have a host of other excellent resources and podcasts and a ton of material on their website that I would recommend.   But that's just one little step. And then for the enter in, I would recommend scheduling a date now. Put it on your calendar.   Find a time to take your child on a shopping date, an ice cream date, so that you can begin to enter into their lives and keep building that relationship with them. And then lastly, between now and that date, just open up God's Word. Reflect on the grace of God.   Let it wash over your heart. Let it wash over your mind. Get engaged with worship.   All of those will equip you well to do that hard work of entering in with your child when you meet them for that date.   Laura Dugger: (1:04:20 - 1:04:29) I've loved this chat so much. And if anybody's wondering about

Some passages of Scripture might be difficult to read — and Judges 19 is one of them. This week, the Bible Savvy team approaches this painful chapter with care, helping us understand Israel's spiritual collapse during a time when “everyone did what was right in their own eyes” and the cautionary tale it offers today—including what happens when communities ignore injustice or look away from the hardest parts of their story. Content Warning: This episode discusses themes of violence and sexual assault, which may be difficult for some listeners. Want more on Judges? Check out the expert interview with Dr. Sandra Richter here.

We explore how to handle family “emotional storms” with practical, science-backed tools so parents can stay calm, help kids feel seen, and keep their partnership strong. Dr. Alyssa Jerud shares the ART and CARE frameworks, opposite action, and simple mindfulness moves that work in the real world.• why emotional agility matters for parents and partners• how ART helps accept, regulate, and tolerate emotions• everyday mindfulness as a fast acceptance tool• the CARE skills to lower arousal quickly• opposite action to disrupt anger-driven habits• validating feelings while holding boundaries• using calm moments for quality attention and reconnection• aligning different parenting styles without blame• book details and where to find resourcesHey, do us a favor and take a second to subscribe to our podcast and the Utah Marriage Commission YouTube channel at Utah Marriage Commission, where you can watch this and every episode of the showBe sure to smash the like button, leave a comment, and share this episode with a friendYou can also follow and interact with us on Instagram at StrongerMarriageWife and Facebook at Stronger MarriageIf you want even more resources to improve your marriage or relationship connection, visit strongermarriage.org where you'll find free workshops, e-courses, in-depth webinars, relationship surveys, and moreVisit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org Podcast.stongermarriage.org YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/ Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579 Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.com http://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/

Who truly sits on the throne of your heart? In Part 3 of our Kingdom Impact series, Pastor Travis Hearn delivers one of the most honest and spiritually challenging messages yet: The Battle for First Place. This isn't just a sermon about priorities—it's a revelation about possession. What owns your decisions, your emotions, your values? Is it fear, money, opinions, shame—or is it Jesus Christ? We kick off with Savvy's powerful testimony, and story after story of how God has transformed lives through Impact Church. From a man on the edge of suicide who found purpose in Christ, to a couple whose broken marriage was resurrected through surrender and service, this is what Kingdom Impact looks like! With passion and realness, Pastor Travis dives deep into the spiritual battle that rages daily for first place in our hearts. He reminds us: “Whatever is first place in your life sets the pace in your life.” In this message, you'll discover: Why the throne of your heart is the most contested territory in your life How money—more than anything else—tries to dethrone God Why tithing isn't about giving money, but proving trust The blessing God promises when we test Him in this area (Malachi 3:10) It's more than a teaching—it's a wake-up call. It's not about God needing your money. It's about whether He has your trust, your heart, and your allegiance. This is the moment to reorder your life. To put God back where He belongs—FIRST. Because when He's first, everything else falls into place. When He's not... everything else falls apart. Let's make an impact. Let's win the battle for first place.

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The discussion turns to Joseph Stalin and his relationship with the legacy of Leninism. Stalin was a more "ideologically flexible" and savvy political operator than Trotsky, who was relentlessly focused on immediate and continuous revolution. While both Lenin and Trotsky employed political violence, the terror under Stalin was a different phenomenon because much of it was directed at high-ranking members of the Communist Party and the secret police in the Great Purge. The purges were motivated by Stalin's paranoia and the need to find scapegoats for the regime's failure to deliver prosperity and freedom. The assassination of Trotsky in 1940 is often seen as wrapping up the Great Terror, though arrests and executions continued.

Nearly all of us want to give wisely—but few know how to make their giving truly multiply Kingdom impact.In this episode, Jeremy sits down again with Doug Kiesewetter—CEO of Cogency Power, Founder & Chairman of WaterStone Foundation, and a veteran entrepreneur who's led ten successful startups and helped steward over $2B in charitable giving.Doug shares how ordinary believers can give smarter—not just more—and how strategic generosity can fund discipleship efforts for decades to come.In this conversation:Why how you give matters as much as what you giveCreative ways to give—stocks, real estate, crypto, and moreHow to use a Donor-Advised Fund to reduce taxes and multiply generosityReal stories of Kingdom ROI through business, missions, and disciple-makingIf you've ever wondered how to make your generosity go further—this episode will change how you think about giving.Share it with someone who's ready to give boldly and wisely.Let's do this,Jeremy---Ordinary Movement is a discipleship platform that equips men and women to be disciples who make disciples. Our focus is on supporting small groups led by ordinary/everyday Christians. We have specialized discipleship tracks that center around Intimacy with Jesus, Intentional Relationships, and Multiplication. Groups are designed for individuals to easily engage in leading groups.Ready to be a disciple who makes disciples?If so, come and join us!Visit ordinarymovement.com to learn more!#discipleship #disciplemaking #disciple

In this episode of Where Should I Invest, host Sarah Larbi sits down with Ryan De Laurentis, an Ontario-based real-estate investor who's completed more than 70 flips and hundreds of wholesale deals. Ryan shares his no-fluff approach to flipping — from managing renovations and sourcing materials to knowing when to pivot, drop your price, and […] The post Being Flip Savvy: Lessons and Strategies from 70+ Flips first appeared on Sarah Larbi Developments.

In this week's episode I am joined by Dave Bray. Dave grew up hunting, trapping, fishing and has always had a dog in toe. From an old English Shepherd and an Airedale to Leopard Curs and Treeing Tennessee Brindles with a few hounds along the way Dave has a wide array of experience.  Sponsors: https://conkeysoutdoors.com  Promo Code TREETALKINTIME5 https://shopeliteglobal.com/ Promo Code Tree10 https://www.facebook.com/p/Animal-Housing-Solutions-Inc  https://fullcrymag.com Merch: https://treetalkin.com/collections  Social Media: https://www.youtube.com/@TreeTalkinMedia  https://www.patreon.com/treetalkintime https://www.instagram.com/treetalkinmedia https://www.facebook.com/treetalkinmedia

In this evening's show we take a look at what seems to have spooked the market, the GEPF's 13% portfolio jump, SME support from Heineken and Absa, Bidvest Bank's streamlined international payments, youth development efforts by Sasria and IISA, and top home upgrades that boost both ‘staycation' comfort and property value. SAfm Market Update - Podcasts and live stream

Are you trusting your own strength more than God's? This week, the Bible Savvy team walks through Judges 15, where Samson's fiery anger, surprising victories, and flawed strength reveal both the danger of self-reliance and the surprising ways God works through imperfect people. Check out the Faith At Work Podcasts and Audio Prayer Guides at … Continue reading "Bible Savvy Podcast | S6 Episode 14: Judges 15"

In the latest episode of The Smart Property Investment Show, host Liam Garman speaks with Simon Buckingham and Brendan Kelly from Results Mentoring about overcoming the three-property ceiling in Australian real estate. The discussion highlights how traditional buy-and-hold approaches often leave investors financially stretched, limiting cash flow and borrowing capacity, and creating a common barrier to portfolio growth. They emphasise the importance of adopting a strategic mindset, including building capital faster, recycling borrowing capacity, and being willing to sell and reinvest in more lucrative opportunities. Real-world examples illustrate their advice, such as investors renovating rundown units for profit, converting houses into cash-flowing rooming houses, and subdividing properties to reinvest in commercial assets. Buckingham and Kelly emphasise the importance of starting small and scaling gradually, enabling investors to build skills and confidence while mitigating risk. They also highlight the role of education and support through the Real Estate Success Community, which connects investors, provides market insights, and offers mentorship. Financial readiness, strategic planning, and leveraging alternative approaches are presented as essential tools for breaking through the investment ceiling. The episode also touches on the emotional side of investing, urging investors to stay disciplined, detached, and focused on long-term goals rather than short-term gains. If you like this episode, show your support by rating us or leaving a review on Apple Podcasts and by following Smart Property Investment on social media: Facebook, X (formerly Twitter) and LinkedIn. If you would like to get in touch with our team, email editor@smartpropertyinvestment.com.au for more insights, or hear your voice on the show by recording a question below.

Grading your dynasty fantasy football trades from last week—did you win or lose?  

Join Mark Cascio, Claire Murphy, and Tyler as they dissect what's wrong with most traditional coaching clinics and celebrate the success of their first-ever annual SAVI Coaching Clinic in Phoenix, Arizona! They share why their clinic was so impactful, from deep, intentional conversations to a focus on holistic, identity-based coaching over simple X's and O's.Then, the "Dream Team" breaks down key takeaways from running a youth basketball practice together, offering immediate, high-value action items you can apply to make your practices more effective, engaging, and transformational. Learn how to be "messy" with high standards and why the preparation and debrief are the most important parts of your coaching week. #SAVIcoach SAVI Basketball 7-Day Free Trial: https://www.skool.com/savi-coach/about

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-good-morning-portugal-podcast-with-carl-munson--2903992/support.Let us help you find YOUR home in Portugal...Whether you are looking to BUY, RENT or SCOUT, reach out to Carl Munson and connect with the biggest and best network of professionals that have come together through Good Morning Portugal! over the last five years that have seen Portugal's meteoric rise in popularity.Simply contact Carl by phone/WhatsApp on (00 351) 913 590 303, email carl@carlmunson.com or enter your details at www.goodmorningportugal.com And join The Portugal Club FREE here - www.theportugalclub.com

From smart home technology to creative design ideas, Savvy Home Hub helps you make informed choices for a modern, connected lifestyle. Watch the full video at https://www.youtube.com/@SavvyHomeHub-l4e Savvy Home Hub City: Austin Address: 11320 North FM 620 Website: https://savvyhomehub.com

Are you taking credit for what God has done? This week, Bible Savvy welcomes our friends from the Faith At Work Podcast to discuss Judges 7:1-25. There, we read about God weakening Gideon's army to demonstrate that it's God who will win the battle. Check out the Faith At Work Podcasts and Audio Prayer Guides … Continue reading "Bible Savvy Podcast | S6 Episode 13: Judges 7"

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-good-morning-portugal-podcast-with-carl-munson--2903992/support.Let us help you find YOUR home in Portugal...Whether you are looking to BUY, RENT or SCOUT, reach out to Carl Munson and connect with the biggest and best network of professionals that have come together through Good Morning Portugal! over the last five years that have seen Portugal's meteoric rise in popularity.Simply contact Carl by phone/WhatsApp on (00 351) 913 590 303, email carl@carlmunson.com or enter your details at www.goodmorningportugal.com And join The Portugal Club FREE here - www.theportugalclub.com

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-good-morning-portugal-podcast-with-carl-munson--2903992/support.Let us help you find YOUR home in Portugal...Whether you are looking to BUY, RENT or SCOUT, reach out to Carl Munson and connect with the biggest and best network of professionals that have come together through Good Morning Portugal! over the last five years that have seen Portugal's meteoric rise in popularity.Simply contact Carl by phone/WhatsApp on (00 351) 913 590 303, email carl@carlmunson.com or enter your details at www.goodmorningportugal.com And join The Portugal Club FREE here - www.theportugalclub.com

Programming note: This is a mid-week programming interruption so everyone can pre-game for The Expo. We're sliding these Wednesday/Thursday drops in, and Sports Cards Live resumes on Friday. There will be no episodes next week on Wednesday/Thursday/Friday. Part 2 dives into on-floor tactics, vendor best practices, and the week's community events. We talk why price tags on the front of the card convert, how payment actually works in Canada (cash is king, e-transfer is common; PayPal/credit accepted by many), and simple fraud prevention (check ID, be mindful of stolen cards/tap limits). We also cover which Expo days deliver what, a quick autograph stage update (one guest shifts off due to scheduling), and how to prep: comfy shoes, anti-fatigue mats, and a big refillable water bottle. Plus: where to find ultra high-end vintage hockey on the floor and our exact spot. Highlights Dealer tips that help buyers buy: price tags on the front, be present, keep conversations easy Payments 101 (Canada): cash, Interac e-Transfer, many vendors with Square/Stripe/Clover; ATMs on site get refilled Fraud prevention: verify ID on larger credit transactions; be cautious with tap limits Days & pace: why Thursday/Friday are prime hunting; how Saturday/Sunday feel different for deals and mobility Autograph stage update: one signer off due to schedule; others still on deck What's on display: ultra high-end vintage hockey in a major vintage booth; our own showcases priced, binders unpriced but deals are happening Events week at a glance: Wed: pre-show trade night (near Yorkdale) Thu: industry meet-up with giveaways/appies (minutes from the venue) Fri: VIP appreciation inside the building, a stand-up comedy show nearby, and a community rip party Sat: Mint Inc. trade night (proceeds to Mackenzie Health Foundation for mental health) Fun extras: eBay's on-site gaming zone; big-booth raffles and activations; giveaway for a Matthew Knies game-used signed stick Collector talk: when buying without COMPs actually works; IP autos vs. game-used signatures; why in-person hobby time beats pure screen time Find us: Booth 1707—come say hi, flip through the binders, bring your trade box, and let's make some deals. Subscribe/follow so you catch this mid-week pair before showtime. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Bible's Old Testament books of Judges and Ruth occur during a time of great trial and often violent encounters for Israel – the time between the exodus and establishment of the monarchy. For insight into how to read and understand these challenging passages, Pastor Clayton interviews Old Testament expert Dr. Sandra Richter, the Robert … Continue reading "Bible Savvy Interview | How to Read Judges & Ruth w/ Dr. Sandra Richter"

This week, Jack Sharry talks with Ritik Malhotra, Founder & CEO of Savvy Wealth, a digital-first platform for financial advisors centered around modernizing human financial advice. Ritik shares how his frustration with outdated advisor technology pushed him to design an AI-powered platform that helps financial advisors grow, operate efficiently, and deliver better client experiences. He highlights how focusing on the advisor first, integrating AI into workflows, and reimagining client engagement can unlock scale and independence in wealth management. In this episode: (00:00) - Intro (01:42) - Ritik's background and how he started Savvy Wealth (04:43) - The business plan that launched Savvy in just three bullet points (06:42) - How Savvy  built and stress-tested the platform from the ground up (11:34) - The $72 million Series B and what it means for Savvy (13:43) - A look under the hood at how Savvy's digital-first platform works (16:18) - What's next for Savvy (19:58) - Ritik's key takeaways (20:29) - Ritik's interests outside of work Quotes "The worst that you can do is try to build something for everyone. It just won't work." ~ Ritik Malhotra  "Listen to the feedback from the core user. Let's literally listen to customers and then build what they need." ~ Ritik Malhotra "There's something really satisfying about enabling independence in any industry—especially one as important as wealth management. There's something nice about helping someone beat the rat race." ~ Ritik Malhotra Links  Ritik Malhotra on LinkedIn Savvy Wealth Box Mark Casady Vestigo Ventures LPL Financial Connect with our hosts LifeYield Jack Sharry on LinkedIn Jack Sharry on Twitter Subscribe and stay in touch Apple Podcasts Spotify LinkedIn Twitter Facebook

We're always one generation away from forgetting what God has done. The Bible Savvy Podcast dives into the Old Testament book of Judges – a wild, often unsettling collection of stories about God's people after they've settled in the Promised Land. Check back Wednesday for a special podcast with Dr. Sandra Richter as she helps … Continue reading "Bible Savvy Podcast | S6 Episode 12: Judges 2-3"

Fluent Fiction - Hungarian: Sibling Savvy: A Market Adventure in Family Unity Find the full episode transcript, vocabulary words, and more:fluentfiction.com/hu/episode/2025-11-03-08-38-20-hu Story Transcript:Hu: Buda piacán nyüzsgött az élet.En: Life was bustling at the Buda market.Hu: Az őszi nap fénye megcsillant a színes szöveteken és a friss zöldségek fényes felületén.En: The autumn sun sparkled on the colorful fabrics and the shiny surfaces of fresh vegetables.Hu: A levegő tele volt fűszerek illatával és a baromfiak zajával.En: The air was filled with the scent of spices and the noise of poultry.Hu: Réka, Bence és Lajos a sokaságban haladtak, szemüket és fülüket használva, hogy mindent elérjenek, amire csak szükségük volt a családjuk télire való felkészítéséhez.En: Réka, Bence, and Lajos moved through the crowd, using their eyes and ears to get everything they needed to prepare their family for winter.Hu: Réka, a legidősebb, vezette testvéreit.En: Réka, the eldest, led her siblings.Hu: Szeme gyorsan végigpásztázta a kínálatot, miközben igyekezett a lehető legjobb ajánlatot megszerezni.En: Her eyes quickly scanned the offerings as she tried to get the best deal possible.Hu: Bence, a középső, szemmel láthatóan másfélét keresett.En: Bence, the middle child, was visibly looking for something else.Hu: Egy közeli standnál egy kereskedő érdekes munkát kínált neki.En: At a nearby stall, a vendor offered him an interesting job.Hu: Lajos, a legfiatalabb, örömmel figyelte a sokféle terméket, de Réka rászólt, hogy tartsa össze a gondolatait.En: Lajos, the youngest, watched the variety of products with delight, but Réka told him to keep his thoughts together.Hu: A piac harsány zajai között Réka gyors döntésekre kényszerült.En: Amidst the loud noises of the market, Réka was forced to make quick decisions.Hu: Az árak ma sokkal magasabbak voltak, mint remélték, és Bence tekintete újra meg újra elkóborolt a munkalehetőség felé.En: Prices were much higher today than they had hoped, and Bence's gaze kept wandering towards the job opportunity.Hu: Réka egy pillanatra megállt, mély levegőt vett, és odafordult Bencéhez.En: Réka paused for a moment, took a deep breath, and turned to Bence.Hu: „Tudom, hogy izgalmasnak találod a kereskedést – mondta Réka szelíden – de most kell segítened.En: "I know you find trading exciting," Réka said gently, "but you need to help us now.Hu: Nem engedhetjük meg magunknak, hogy mindez kicsússzon a kezünkből.En: We can't afford to let this slip through our fingers."Hu: ”Bence látta nővére komolyságát és megértette a helyzet súlyát.En: Bence saw his sister's seriousness and understood the gravity of the situation.Hu: Nodásait megacélozta, és visszatért Réka mellé.En: He steeled his resolve and returned to Réka's side.Hu: „Igazad van,” mondta csendesen, majd rögtön hozzátette, „de talán később beszélhetnék vele?En: "You're right," he said quietly, and then quickly added, "but perhaps I can talk to him later?"Hu: ”Ennek hallatán Réka elmosolyodott.En: Hearing this, Réka smiled.Hu: „Megyünk oda, ha mindent elrendeztünk,” ígérte.En: "We'll go there once we've taken care of everything," she promised.Hu: Végül a testvérek sikerült alkut kötniük a szomszédos standok eladóival.En: In the end, the siblings managed to make a deal with the sellers at the neighboring stalls.Hu: Réka ügyességének és Bence lelkes segítségének köszönhetően elegendő készletet tudtak venni, hogy a tél ne jelentsen nehézséget számukra.En: Thanks to Réka's skill and Bence's enthusiastic help, they were able to purchase enough supplies so that winter would not be a hardship for them.Hu: Az utolsó zsák zöldség elrendezése után Bence elsietett a kereskedőhöz, aki örömmel fogadta.En: After arranging the last sack of vegetables, Bence hurried over to the trader, who welcomed him with delight.Hu: Ahogy ők hárman hazafelé indultak a piaci nyüzsgésből, Réka rájött, hogy a testvérei vágyait is helyet kell kapniuk a család életében.En: As the three of them headed home from the market bustle, Réka realized that her siblings' desires must also have a place in the family's life.Hu: Bence pedig megértette, hogy az álmai mellett a családi felelősségeket is viselnie kell.En: Bence, in turn, understood that alongside his dreams, he must also bear the family responsibilities.Hu: A piaci kalandjuk így tanulságos, mégis kielégítő módon zárult.En: Their market adventure concluded in a way that was both instructive and satisfying.Hu: Együtt, egy lépéssel közelebb kerültek ahhoz, hogy ne csak a télre, de a jövőre is felkészülten állhassanak.En: Together, they took a step closer to being prepared not just for the winter, but for the future as well.Hu: Az őszi nap lassan nyílt utat a hidegebb hónapoknak, de Réka, Bence és Lajos, az összezárt testvéri kötelék erejével, immár még felkészültebbek voltak minden elébük kerülő kihívásra.En: The autumn sun was slowly paving the way for the colder months, but Réka, Bence, and Lajos, with the strength of their close-knit sibling bond, were now more ready than ever for any challenges that came their way. Vocabulary Words:bustling: nyüzsgöttfabric: szöveteksparkled: megcsillantscanned: végigpásztáztaoffering: kínálatvendor: kereskedővariety: sokféledelight: örömmelnoise: zajwandering: elkóboroltslip: kicsússzongravity: súlyresolved: megacéloztaconcluded: zárultchallenges: kihívássibling: testvérbond: kötelékopportunity: munkalehetőségtrading: kereskedésbreathe: levegőtensuing: ezutánnegotiation: alkumess: rendetlenscrambled: elsietettcontentment: elégedettségharsh: harsánysmiled: elmosolyodottpromised: ígérteexciting: izgalmasunderstood: megértette

Épisode 2 : Refaire l'histoire. Une conférence historique pour sortir de l'impasse coloniale soutenue par le griot de la jeunesse africaine Tiken Jah Fakoly, où intellectuels et artistes se sont retrouvés pour revisiter la Conférence berlinoise de 1885… quand ils ont partagé le monde. Mais comment refaire l'histoire ? Berlin 1885. Le chancelier allemand Otto von Bismarck convoque une conférence à Berlin afin d'organiser le partage du continent africain entre les puissances industrielles et militaires émergentes. Cette réunion, à laquelle participèrent quatorze pays européens, les États-Unis et l'Empire ottoman, visait principalement à préserver leurs intérêts extractivistes et commerciaux. Ce processus a conduit à une profonde fragmentation des structures politiques endogènes du continent africain, marquant durablement son histoire politique, économique et sociale. Pour les Africains, ce processus inaugura une ère de résistance et de lutte pour l'autodétermination. Berlin 2001. Mansour Ciss Kanakassy, ​​plasticien berlinois d'origine africaine, imagine le Laboratoire de Deberlinization. L'artiste développe des outils symboliques afin de tracer un chemin vers l'émancipation. Ce kit d'urgence comprend un Global Pass pour faciliter la liberté de circulation le monde, ainsi que l'AFRO, une monnaie imaginaire panafricaniste, libérée des contraintes du CFA (indexation sur les garanties de change et de la tutelle des banques centrales exogènes). À la croisée de la création artistique et de la critique sociale, le laboratoire de Deberlinization invite à la réflexion sur la possibilité (individuelle ou collective) d'une refonte du lien civil au sein et en dehors de l'État postcolonial. Berlin 2025. À l'initiative du Professeur Bonaventure Soh Bejeng Ndikung, directeur de HKW, la Conférence Deberlinization s'inscrit dans la continuité de l'utopie performative imaginée par Mansour Ciss Kanakassy pour considérer les conditions possibles d'un récit alternatif sur l'ordre du monde et son avenir, une poétique transformatrice de la relation entre l'action créatrice et les formes de résistance, l'histoire, la mémoire, la prospective – bref, un champ d'expérience et un horizon d'attente. Dans ce second épisode, vous écoutez les voix de Bonaventure Soh Bejeng Ndikung (directeur et directeur artistique de Haus der Kulturen der Welt), Tiken Jah Fakoly, (chanteur et activiste) soutien de la manifestation, Célestin Monga, (professeur d'économie à Harvard), Simon Njami, (écrivain et commissaire d'exposition) et Yousra Abourabi, (professeure de sciences politiques à l'Université de Rabat). Pour écouter l'épisode 1 c'est ici. Un grand merci à toute l'équipe de HKW à Berlin et particulièrement à son directeur Bonaventure Soh Bejeng Ndikun pour nous avoir accordé ce grand entretien :     Valérie Nivelon : En introduction de cet évènement DEBERLINIZATION, vous avez demandé une minute de silence à la mémoire de Lawrence, un jeune Noir tué par des policiers au printemps 2025. Quel lien établissez-vous entre la mort de ce jeune homme et la conférence de Berlin de 1885 ? Bonaventure Soh Bejeng Ndikung : La mort de Lawrence est en fait un assassinat. Il a été tué par un policier et ce n'était pas par hasard, en fait, on lui a tiré dessus par derrière. Et la police a essayé de mentir en accusant Lawrence d'avoir attaqué un policier, ce qui s'est avéré faux. Il s'agit en fait de la longue histoire du racisme et de la déshumanisation, dont la Conférence de Berlin est un moment essentiel. Cette rencontre qui a eu lieu ici à Berlin en 1884-85 pour partager le continent africain sans les Africains, sans tenir aucunement compte de leur intérêt, sans aucun respect pour les cultures africaines et encore moins les êtres humains réduits au même niveau de statut que les machines pour travailler dans les plantations afin de créer des ressources pour l'Europe. C'est un acte de déshumanisation qui a été institutionnalisé dans cette conférence et qui a perduré dans les institutions, pas seulement en Europe, mais aussi en Afrique et un peu partout dans le monde. Donc la mort de Lawrence a un lien direct avec cette conférence.   Valérie Nivelon : Votre intérêt pour l'impact de la conférence de Berlin sur la déshumanisation des Africains ici en Allemagne, en Europe, mais aussi sur la brutalisation des sociétés africaines remonte-t-il à la création de Savvy Contemporary dont vous fêtez les 15 ans de création ?  Bonaventure Soh Bejeng Ndikung : Oui, c'est une très bonne question d'autant que Savvy a été fondé en 2009 pour une raison très simple, celle de notre invisibilité dans les institutions culturelles allemandes alors que la relation entre le continent africain et l'Europe est très forte. C'était très, très rare de voir les artistes, les penseurs des autres continents ici représentés à Berlin. Donc on a voulu tout simplement créer un espace où on peut présenter les philosophies plurielles du monde, les pensées du monde, les littératures, les poésies du monde. Et donc on a créé un espace qui n'est pas limité à une géographie, mais ouvert à tout le monde depuis Berlin, dont on ne peut pas négliger l'histoire. Des histoires multiples qui coexistent depuis bien avant la colonisation puisque le Royaume de Prusse a déjà des implantations coloniales au XVIIè siècle. Et donc en 2014, pour les 130 ans de la conférence de Berlin, on a invité le curateur camerounais Simon Njami pour imaginer une exposition sur cette histoire et il a fait une proposition qui était géniale «Nous sommes tous les Berlinois». C'était une belle provocation, mais c'était surtout dire : «Si le président américain J.F Kennedy pouvait dire «Je suis un Berlinois» en étant à Berlin pendant quelques heures en 1963 en pleine guerre froide, alors nous autres qui venions d'une Afrique violemment transformée par le Conférence de Berlin, sommes également des Berlinois !» Et on a fait cette exposition et une grande conférence où il y avait des sujets sur les projets, sur la restitution, sur les droits humains etc. Et il était clair que, en 2024-25, il fallait continuer à refaire l'Histoire ! Et ce n'est pas que l'histoire des Africains, c'est l'histoire du monde.   Valérie Nivelon : Lorsque vous créez l'espace, Savvy pour inscrire une géographie africaine ici à Berlin. Est-ce que vous vous sentez en communion avec Présence africaine, telle que Alioune Diop l'a conçu, c'est-à-dire pour inscrire un espace géographique africain à Paris à la sortie de la Deuxième Guerre mondiale ? Bonaventure Soh Bejeng Ndikung  Tout à fait. Ça procède du même état d'esprit. Alioune Diop a fondé la revue Présence africaine en 1947 à Paris, mais très vite des publications ont vu le jour sur le continent. Je pense à la revue Abbia, qui a été fondée au Cameroun en 1962, l'une des toutes premières revues de la culture postcoloniale fondée par le professeur Bernard Fonlon, Marcien Towa et Eldridge Mohammadou. Je pense également à Souffles, lancé en 1966 au Maroc, par des jeunes poètes et artistes peintres, mais aussi la Revue Noire, qui est plus récente mais qui était tellement importante pour pouvoir imaginer un lieu de fédération de nos savoirs. C'est dans cette généalogie intellectuelle que nous avons démarré Savvy, pas seulement avec un lieu, des expositions, mais aussi avec une publication Savvy journal. Donc ça, c'est un peu la généalogie intellectuelle de Savvy, sachant que nos références sont beaucoup plus nombreuses.   Valérie Nivelon : Ce que je trouve très intéressant, c'est l'affirmation d'une présence africaine par les Africains eux-mêmes. Et vous avez d'ailleurs tenu à rendre hommage à l'un des tout premiers Africains universitaires diplômés ici à Berlin. Est-ce que vous pouvez nous dire pourquoi vous tenez à ce que l'on se souvienne de lui ? Bonaventure Soh Bejeng Ndikung : Et bien, nous sommes dans mon bureau ici à Berlin, à la Maison des Cultures du Monde et en face de nous, une peinture d'un jeune Camerounais qui s'appelle Adjani Okpu-Egbe. Et sur cette peinture, on peut lire le nom Anton Wilhelm Amo, personnage tellement important dans notre histoire. Il a été kidnappé au début du XVIIIè siècle, dans son village situé dans l'actuel Ghana, et offert comme cadeau au duc de Brunswick-Lunebourg. Et il a été prénommé Anton comme le duc. Pouvez-vous imaginer qu'un être humain puisse être offert comme un cadeau ? Il a néanmoins reçu une éducation sérieuse et il a étudié au Collège de philosophie à l'Université de Halle. Anton Wilhem Amo est donc un ancien esclave devenu le premier Africain à avoir obtenu un doctorat dans une Université européenne ! Je considère qu'il fait partie de l'histoire de l'Allemagne et de l'Histoire de la philosophie en Allemagne alors qu'il a été effacé de l'histoire de la philosophie de l'Europe pour les raisons que nous connaissons tous. Mais c'est notre devoir de rendre visible son travail. Donc, en 2020, j'ai fait une exposition qui s'appelait The Faculty of Sensing, pour rendre hommage à l'une de ses thèses, et pour moi, c'était important. Pas seulement de faire connaitre sa biographie, mais aussi sa pensée. Et on a invité une vingtaine d'artistes de partout, du monde, et 90% n'avaient jamais entendu parler d'Anton Wilhem Amo.. ce n'est plus le cas !   Valérie Nivelon : Savvy Contemporary a été une expérience intellectuelle et artistique prémonitoire et quinze ans après sa création, vous dirigez La maison des cultures du monde et vous êtes également le premier Africain à diriger une institution culturelle européenne de cette envergure. 140 ans après le Conférence de Berlin, vous avez choisi de créer l'événement DEBERLINIZATION. Pourquoi avez-vous sollicité la présence de Mansour Ciss Kanakassy, à l'origine de ce concept ? Bonaventure Soh Bejeng Ndikung : Je connais le travail de Mansour Ciss Kanakassy depuis longtemps et Mansour, qui est Sénégalais, a proposé un laboratoire de DEBERLINIZATION et sur l'affiche qu'il a créée pour l'annoncer, on peut voir la porte de Brandenburg à Berlin et la carte de l'Afrique. Et dans les différentes manifestations dans lesquelles il se produit, il propose ses billets AFRO, monnaie commune africaine qu'il a inventée en réponse au CFA. Son projet artistique est à la fois très provocateur et très concret, d'avant-garde. Comme James Baldwin le disait. «Quel est le rôle de l'artiste, c'est de poser des questions à des réponses qui sont déjà là». Et la question la plus importante du XXè siècle et XXIè siècle, c'est une question d'économie en fait et des moyens d'échange. Donc la monnaie. Mais comme vous le savez, la plupart des pays en Afrique francophone utilisent cette monnaie coloniale qui s'appelle le CFA. Pourtant, depuis l'indépendance, les grands politiciens panafricanistes comme Nkrumah, comme Olympio, comme Sankara ont toujours dit que l'Afrique ne peut sortir de la domination coloniale sans créer sa propre monnaie. Et ces nationalistes ont été soit renversés, soit assassinés. Donc on en est là. Les politiciens parlent, mais les artistes font. Mais la monnaie est aussi un vecteur de savoir, une archive. Donc si vous regardez les billets AFRO de Mansour, vous voyez l'image de Cheikh Anta Diop. Vous voyez l'image de Kwame Nkrumah. Vous voyez l'image de Sankara, de Bathily, d'Aminata Traoré, de celles et ceux qui ont œuvré pour le monde africain.   Valérie Nivelon : Est-ce que vous pouvez nous parler de votre conception de la culture ici à la Maison des cultures du monde, vous incarnez une présence africaine ici à Berlin, vous avez une responsabilité en tant que directeur d'une institution culturelle, que revendiquez-vous dans votre façon de penser cette DEBERLINIZATION ? Bonaventure Soh Bejeng Ndikung : La DEBERLINIZATION ne peut avoir un sens uniquement si c'est une expression pluridisciplinaire. Bien sûr, on a invité un économiste comme Célestin Monga, mais également des personnalités du monde de la culture.. Ça a toujours été important dans ma pratique de faire savoir que l'Université n'a pas le monopole de la fabrique des savoirs. Des artistes comme Tiken Jah Fakoly ou Didier Awadi sont des grands intellectuels aussi. Et ils arrivent à dire des choses que beaucoup d'autres personnes ne peuvent pas dire. J'ajoute qu'il a toujours été important pour moi de travailler dans l'univers de la poésie car les poètes nous donnent des clés de lecture pour pénétrer l'opacité du monde. Mais on invite aussi les scientifiques, les philosophes… je cherche à orchestrer un discours choral, polyphonique et pluridisciplinaire !!! C'est ma conception de la culture. Ce que nous avons souhaité avec Franck Hermann Ekra et Ibou Coulibaly Diallo (co-commissaires de DEBERLINIZATION ), c'est penser les archives du futur, je veux dire créer de nouvelles archives. Le projet DEBERLINIZATION a l'ambition d'impulser le remembrement de l'Afrique qui a été démembrée à Berlin en 1885, découpée, déchiquetée. Le Professeur Mamadou Diouf a parlé de la berlinization comme d'un déracinement profond. Donc ce qu'on a essayé de faire, c'est d'amener cette complexité ici à HKW, un lieu où on peut réfléchir. En ce qui me concerne, je veux passer le reste de ma vie à réfléchir à ce que veut dire être humain. Bon anniversaire à Savvy contemporary.   Découvrir La maison des cultures du monde et le programme Deberlinization.   À paraître : - Deberlinization – Refabulating the World, A Theory of Praxis - Deberlinization - Les presses du réel (livre). À lire : Le pari acoustique de Tiken Jah Fakoly. À écouter : Le concert acoustique de Tiken Jah Fakoly enregistré par RFI Labo salle Pleyel à Paris.

Are you willing to bring your doubts to Jesus? When Jesus appeared after his resurrection in Luke 24:36-53, his disciples couldn't believe their eyes. Instead of shaming them for their uncertainty, Jesus invited them to touch and feel for themselves that he was really there. In this episode, the team explores what it means to … Continue reading "Bible Savvy Podcast | S6 Episode 11: Luke 24"

Matt is joined by Bloomberg's Lucas Shaw to discuss Matt's report that Taylor Sheridan will be leaving Paramount to join NBCU starting in 2029. They break down the details of the deal, whether this should be considered savvy or desperate for NBCU and Peacock, how big of a risk this is, and whether this portends a larger splash coming from NBCU (02:40). Matt finishes the show with a prediction about the future of Jon Stewart and 'The Daily Show' (25:55). For a 20 percent discount on Matt's Hollywood insider newsletter, ‘What I'm Hearing ...,' ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Email us your thoughts! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠thetown@spotify.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Host: Matt Belloni Guest: Lucas Shaw Producers: Craig Horlbeck and Jessie Lopez Theme Song: Devon Renaldo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Send us a textFrom SoCal surf breaks to the rocks of Johnson Valley, fabricator, racer, and builder Johnny Rocha shares a lifetime immersed in dirt, water, and horsepower. Johnny grew up riding desert singletrack, surfing with his dad, and turning wrenches young—then parlayed a career in operation engineering into nights and weekends fabricating Jeeps before going all-in on off-road.Hear how a 16-year-old Baja road trip lit the fuse, an '84 CJ-7 changed everything, and magazine-era shop-hopping led to friendships with icons like the Curries—and ultimately to co-building the legendary 88 Savvy car that dominated King of the Hammers EMC. Johnny dives into race-craft, why plans win races, the evolution from crew chief to team manager, and mentoring young talents like Chase Caprera. He's candid on heartbreaks (DNFs, exploding lockers, bad juju cars), the irresistible pull of KOH, and why he's transitioning from racing to premium rock-crawler builds.Support the show

Selling a house is like a carnival of human behavior, and let me tell you, I had a front-row seat to the madness. Picture this: I had a top-notch security system installed to protect my precious tools while my house was on the market. Every potential buyer walked out of my home, and it was like I was eavesdropping on an episode of 'The Real Housewives of Real Estate.' They'd hop in their cars and start gushing about what they loved or despised about my place. One guy even suggested a price drop of 40 grand while I was just sitting there, probably grinning like a Cheshire cat, knowing that I had other offers on the table. The absurdity of it all! I could practically hear the negotiations play out as if I was running my own secret spy operation. It's hilarious how human nature plays into home selling, with couples bickering over kitchen choices like their lives depended on it. If you're selling your house, do yourself a favor: keep any discussions in the car. Trust me, you don't want your negotiating strategy broadcasted to the world. My camera system caught every bizarre moment, and now I'm considering launching a YouTube channel called 'Realtor Spies.' Who knew home selling could be such a comedic spectacle?Takeaways: The key to saving on home improvement projects is to prioritize high ROI upgrades, like garage doors. When working with contractors, always get multiple quotes and include a contingency fund for unexpected costs. Timing is everything; watch for seasonal price fluctuations in materials to save big bucks on renovations. Do your research on contractors and their materials to ensure you're getting the best value for your investment. Links referenced in this episode:aroundthehouseonline.comCompanies mentioned in this episode: Craft Made American Woodmark Kohler Bloom Pest Control To get your questions answered by Eric G give us a call in the studio at 833-239-4144 24/7 and Eric G will get back to you and answer your question and you might end up in a future episode of Around the House. Thanks for listening to Around the house if you want to hear more please subscribe so you get notified of the latest episode as it posts at https://around-the-house-with-e.captivate.fm/listenIf you want to join the Around the House Insider for access to the back catalog, Exclusive Content and a direct email to Eric G and access to the show early https://around-the-house-with-e.captivate.fm/support We love comments and we would love reviews on how this information has helped you on your house! Thanks for listening! For more information about the show head to https://aroundthehouseonline.com/ Information given on the Around the House Show should not be considered construction or design advice for your specific project, nor is it intended to replace consulting at your home or jobsite by a building professional. The views and opinions expressed by those interviewed on the podcast are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of the Around the House Show. Mentioned in this episode:

Join Mike Silver on this episode of Exit Right as he sits down with Sam Lui, the ultimate super connector and founder of Savvy. Discover Sam's incredible journey from humble beginnings in rural UK to becoming a global business leader. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On the 360th episode of You Know I'm Right, Nick Durst and Joe Calabrese are joined by Author Adnan Virk, Savvy Host Scott Rogowsky, Dodgers' Broadcaster Stephen Nelson, NHL Network's Keith Irizarry, The Volume's Logan Swaim and On-Air Personalities Alfredo Lomeli and Jake Mintz to discuss: - Adnan Virk's new book, Cinephile: Interviews, Essays, and Tales from the Red Carpet (Stories of Iconic Stars, Book for Movie Lovers) - MLB Network's ChangeUp on DAZN - What movie star may Adnan Virk name his next child after? - Scott Rogowsky's new app Savvy and his board game For more information visit: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/youknowimright⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow our show on instagram - ⁠⁠⁠⁠instagram.com/YKIRPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠ Like our show on facebook - ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/YouKnowImRightPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow our show on twitter - ⁠⁠⁠⁠twitter.com/YKIRPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Nick on twitter - ⁠⁠⁠⁠twitter.com/Nick_Durst⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Joe on twitter - ⁠⁠⁠⁠twitter.com/JCalabrese1⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you approach the Lord's table? In this episode of the Bible Savvy podcast, the team explores the powerful moment in Luke 22:7-38 when Jesus shares his last supper with his disciples, revealing how he came to fulfill his purpose and redefining greatness. Do we focus on the wrong things? Looking for the Bible … Continue reading "Bible Savvy Podcast | S6 Episode 10: Luke 22"

James has some big news, with huge repercussions for the Holiday Expert partnership… and speaking of huge news, the Passports Please mums have met for the first time in James and Chelsea's fifteen-year relationship. Listen to discover how that went, as well as the (almost) definitive number of shoes to bring on holiday, and how to be deal with public transport awkwardness. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

272. Pathway to Joy and Happiness in Parenting with Amy Rienow   Psalm 144:15b NKJV, "Happy are the people whose God is the Lord!"   *Transcription Below*   Questions and Topics We Cover: Will you share your story of God revealing a spirit of perfectionism was sneaking into motherhood? How can we recognize our own spirit of perfectionism and what can we do about it? What is one thing you've found every mom needs more of and how can we get it?   Thank You to Our Sponsor: MidwestFoodBank.org   Amy Rienow's first ministry is loving her husband and nurturing faith in their seven children. She and Rob founded and lead Visionary Family Ministries, a ministry created to equip parents, encourage couples, and help families live for Christ. She attended the University of Illinois, followed by Wheaton College Graduate School, where she earned her MA in Clinical Psychology. She is a licensed clinical professional counselor. Amy has her hands full as a mom, partnering with Rob, and serving in the women's and worship ministries at church.   Savvy Sauce Episodes Mentioned in Episode: Special Patreon Re-Release: Discipline that Disciples with Dr. Rob Rienow Five Love Languages with Dr. Gary Chapman 87 Visionary Parenting and Grand-Parenting with Dr. Rob Rienow 182 Things I Wish I'd Have Known Before My Child Became a Teenager with Dr. Gary Chapman 220 Cultivating Healthy Family Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman 245 Stories Series: Miracles Big and Small with Dr. Rob Rienow 230 Intentional Parenting in All Stages with Dr. Rob Rienow   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook, Instagram or Our Website    Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV)   Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:00 – 0:09)   Laura Dugger: (0:11 - 1:43) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   Thank you to an anonymous donor to Midwest Food Bank, who paid the sponsorship fee in hopes of spreading awareness.  Learn more about this amazing nonprofit organization at MidwestFoodBank.org.   I'm thrilled to get to introduce you to my inspiring guest for today, Amy Rienow. Now, that last name may sound familiar because Amy's husband, Dr. Rob Rienow, has been a previous guest multiple times, actually. So, I'll make sure and link his previous episodes in the show notes, along with other episodes that we recommend in this conversation.   Amy and Rob are founders of Visionary Family Ministries, and they are parents to seven children. Amy is also an author, podcaster, and she's practiced as a licensed clinical professional counselor in the past, so she's going to combine all of this experience together, and her wisdom just pours out as now she's going to seek to encourage us to seek the Lord and follow His guidance, especially as parents in our parenting journey. Here's our chat.   Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Amy.   Amy Rienow: (1:44 - 1:51) Hi Laura. I'm so glad to do this with you. It's been a while since we've talked about it, and I'm excited to be here today.   Laura Dugger: (1:51 - 2:00) Well, I'm thrilled to have you join, and I'd love to just dive in and hear how did Jesus Christ become your personal Lord and Savior?   Amy Rienow: (2:01 - 3:39)  I love that you start with that question. I grew up in a home with a Christian mom and a non-Christian dad, but they had made an arrangement before they were even married. She did have the wisdom to ask her husband to give her the domain of that, like picking a church, and he was willing to go with us as a family to church, even though he was not a believer, and that was very clear.   But she led me to the Lord when I was about four years old, and I grew up going to church, and that was my first. I feel like I never kind of have a lot of memory of not knowing Jesus, but I would say that my faith increased and became even more my own. I feel like it was always my own, but in high school, I went on a missions trip to Mexico, and I will never forget the experience of being in a very poor town in Mexico, and there was this horrible storm coming in, and all of us Americans were afraid of the storm, and we ran into the church while the service kept going on, and literally none of the Mexican people that were outside in the service, the storm didn't faze them at all.   They just kept going on, and honestly, that was such a pivotal point in my life where I was like, that is the type of faith that I wanted to have. I mean, it really cemented. I feel like that's when the Holy Spirit just helped me to know that that's who I want to be.   I want to be a person of that kind of faith in the Lord that is not budging when the storms come.   Laura Dugger: (3:40 - 4:04) Love that. Thank you for sharing, and since that time, you've added some people to your family, so I'd love to get a snapshot of your family right now and then share some more about motherhood, specifically in one of your books you wrote about recognizing that you had a spirit of perfectionism. So, I'd love to hear more about that because I think it's very relatable.   Amy Rienow: (4:05 - 6:43) Well, my family right now, I've been married to my husband Rob for 30 years. I have seven children, R.W., Lissy, J.D., Lainey, Millie, Ray, and Rush.  And R.W. is turning 28 this year. He has one little boy.   His name is Cliff, so that's my grandbaby number three. My daughter Lissy is married to Bond, and she's about to have baby number three, so that will be my fourth grandbaby. She has Avey, Bondy, and then this little new one on the way. And then my son J.D. just got married to Brooke last summer, so that is exciting. We're thrilled, thrilled, thrilled to have Brooke in our family. Lainey is graduating from Olivet. She graduated in three years, which we're really proud of. Millie is a junior.   Ray is a freshman, and Rush is in fifth grade, and I still homeschool those three. They kind of do part-time at a Christian school here, and then I homeschool the rest of the time. So, that is my current family.   It's expanding. As you will find out when you get to the stage, expansions come very quickly, and it's exciting, exciting times. But about that spirit of perfectionism, actually, even before I became a mom, I was convicted of a spirit of perfectionism because I had always been very critical of myself.   I had a very critical spirit. Just I don't know if it was, you know, the peer pressure, what those components are. I'm a middle child, but I just tended to critique myself very harshly.   And after I was married, even about a year, the Lord showed me how, because of my husband and I were becoming one flesh, I was really turning that critical spirit onto him. But then there was a book called The Fly Lady. She is a home organization.   I think I mention it in my book, but that is when I really began to understand that I struggled with perfectionism, and that's often what kept me paralyzed. It often keep me with that, you know, I would say engaging with that critical spirit, communicating a lot of criticisms, whether it be to my children or to my husband. So, that was, you know, so it started early in marriage, but by the time I was well into motherhood, I was really starting to understand what this was. What the critical spirit was, and it really was a spirit of perfectionism.   Laura Dugger: (6:44 - 6:52) Well, and the Lord met you there, and there is a story that you share related to picture frames. Would you be willing to tell that?   Amy Rienow: (6:52 - 9:07) Yeah. So, my daughter, Lissy, was graduating from high school, and it was classic me. I was trying to like get this massive graduation party together, and I'm sort of a procrastinator and life is busy.   So, it's like we are, okay, I got to get this done before this big party, this big event, and had a friend who was a decorator to kind of give me an idea of what to do. And so, my husband and really the whole family was kind of working overtime to get everything ready for this big event. And he had helped my, we had this huge wall that had to be that my decorator friend suggested a gallery wall.   So, we had all of these pictures up and I was looking at it late at night, kind of exhausted. We're talking about past midnight and I know it wasn't just my husband helping. I had JD helping.   I don't remember where I was, but we were just all working hard to get this ready for this party. And I was laying there as past midnight looking at that wall and so frustrated, like so frustrated because all those pictures I kept looking at like, Oh, this is going to be a mess. Like they're all, they're not like, you know, they're not command stripped.   Right. And so they're all going to be, I just felt like, what have I done? It's looking crooked already.   And it was so frustrating to me. And that is when the Holy spirit completely convicted me with just like, Amy, you should be looking what's in those pictures and not whether they're crooked or not crooked. Like, first of all, like all the family has been helping me with this vision.   Right. And it's not really their vision. It's my vision.   They've all been supportive of me in front of me. It was a wall of all the memories of all these beautiful pictures. And here I was so focused on my right angles and having it look perfect for the crowd coming in at the graduation party, as opposed to what everything on that wall represented.   And so, it was a very convicting moment to me of just like, I have a choice. Am I going to embrace everything in those pictures and everything my family's done to help us get to this special day? Or am I going to come in and be fixated on how crooked those picture frames look to me right now?   Laura Dugger: (9:07 - 9:19)  Appreciate you sharing that. And I'm wondering for any parent, especially listening, if they find themselves identifying with that spirit of perfectionism, what can we do with that?   Amy Rienow: (9:20 - 11:11)  It's a challenging one because I think our culture promotes it. And I also think I'm on the flip side of the positive side of it. Let me just say, I believe there's a vision of perfect in our hearts because we were created for perfect.   We're created for heaven. And the Bible says that no eye has seen, no ear has heard, or no mind has even conceived what God has prepared for those who love him. So, there's this drive for perfect that I think is very good and right.   And so, we don't want to give up like excellence, or we don't want to give up that we have that drive. The problem is that the enemy, in fact, I've actually done more research on this. There's really can be a demonic spirit of perfectionism where we're trying to create heaven here.   We're trying to think in our own flesh and our own strength that we can take care of all of our sin, take care of all of our flaws. We can take care of our children's flaws. We can take care of our husband's flaws.   That is actually from the enemy in the sense that we believe in our own strength. And you can look at that through history. It's basically a form of humanism that we can fix everything in ourselves.   God makes it very clear in scripture that that is not possible. So, I think understanding this tension, that it's okay to want things to be wonderful, that's not bad. But what's bad is when we leave God out of the picture and we put this pressure on ourselves and on the people around us to accomplish what only can God can do.   And we don't accept God's timing. We don't have patience with who we are, our sinful nature and really put our trust in Christ and not in ourselves.   Laura Dugger: (11:12 - 12:56) Let's take a quick break to hear a message from our sponsor.   Midwest Food Bank exists to provide industry leading food relief to those in need while feeding them spiritually. They are a food charity with a desire to demonstrate God's love by providing help to those in need.   Unlike other parts of the world where there's not enough food in America, the resources actually do exist. That's why food pantries and food banks like Midwest Food Bank are so important. The goods that they deliver to their agency partners help to supplement the food supply for families and individuals across our country, aiding those whose resources are beyond stretched.   Midwest Food Bank also supports people globally through their locations in Haiti and East Africa, which are some of the areas hardest hit by hunger arising from poverty. This ministry reaches millions of people every year. And thanks to the Lord's provision, 99% of every donation goes directly toward providing food to people in need.   The remaining 1% of income is used for fundraising, costs of leadership, oversight, and other administrative expenses. Donations, volunteers, and prayers are always appreciated for Midwest Food Bank. To learn more, visit midwestfoodbank.org, or listen to episode 83 of The Savvy Sauce, where the founder, David Kieser, shares miracles of God that he's witnessed through this nonprofit organization. I hope you check them out today.   You also write in one of your books that there's one thing that you found every mother needs. So, what is it and how can we get it?   Amy Rienow: (12:56 - 14:56) That one thing is joy, joy, joy. And, and I like to use the word happiness, honestly, because I feel like that happiness got a bad rap, I say, in Christian world for like a while, in my opinion. I don't know if it's still that way, but so often I heard sermon saying, you know, like we don't want happiness.   We want joy. Like there's these two different major things, like, you know, almost like a rejection of happiness for this deeper spiritual joy. Well, finally, the Lord really convicted me that deep, deep inner joy that doesn't show is an oxymoron.   Like, you really should see happiness. You should feel happiness. You should feel those things.   If you ever come across someone's like, oh no, I have a deep joy, but like, there's no evidence of it. Well, that's a red flag. That's a problem.   The Lord, you know, in the King James version, it actually says happier people whose God is the Lord. And I believe every mom desires that happiness. And sometimes they don't even really know that that's the most important element that they want in their home, you know, because it's so easy to get, I don't know, sidetracked on things that feel more important that you kind of forget how important happiness is.   And, you know, we can take it for granted. I feel like very easily because often when our kids are little and we don't have not entered that world of, whether it be academic or whatever into the greater world, let's just say in your home, you can kind of have like a natural happiness and joy that's just there, but it's so easily stifled. When we start putting our self into the world of either comparing ourselves to other moms, comparing our kids to other kids, stressing about the expectations or what we think our kids need.   We can often find that happiness slipping away. And I believe we do not want that to happen in our homes and in our hearts.   Laura Dugger: (14:57 - 15:08) And so how can we get more of that, both as parents and how can we train our kids to be happy and joyful as well?   Amy Rienow: (15:09 - 17:18) It's such a good question and a hard question. Cause I don't think it's just like we can snap our fingers and just do that. I think that it's really important that we are seeking the Lord and helping him order our priorities.   You know, God gave us 10 commandments for a reason. And if you look at the first one, it says, “You know, you'll have no other gods before me, you'll keep him first.” And part of the reason why I think that commandment is both like the first and also in many ways, very abstract, like, you know what I mean?   How do you even do that? You know, it's confusing, I think, but I think that's what the Lord wants is of a seeking of helping us keep him first. Because when we help to keep God first, number one, and number two, we don't have idols that we bow down to, that we place above him. Like, let's take an example of motherhood.   Let's say the idol might be, um, I have to have super smart children. Let's put it that way. You know, your joy is going to be robbed when you keep sacrificing to that idol, because that's a trap.   Like the enemy wants to trap you there to make the wrong sacrifices. And that is why I think God knows this. Like he's telling us right in those 10 commandments, you know, you need to keep me first.   You can have no, do not worship to idols. Because when you're making the sacrifices to eternal God, who is the author of joy, the author of love, the author of peace, those are the things he gives back to you. No other idol can give you peace.   No other idol can give you joy. So, I think when we look at the lack of joy that we see in a lot of our homes in our culture, it's because we've been ensnared into an idolatry where we're making the wrong sacrifices. We're sacrificing things that we don't realize the consequence of that until we're in it.   And we're like, wait, this didn't produce the happiness and joy that I expected it to produce. Cause we were tricked.   Laura Dugger: (17:19 - 17:27) Do you have any examples from your own life or friend's stories where that really comes to life?   Amy Rienow: (17:27 - 21:22) Oh boy. There's lots of examples and lots of friends stories, but I'm going to say one that's more of a story that I'm well aware of and not, you know, personally walk hand with. But I think it's always struck with me because it was so painful story. You know, I grew up, I've raised a lot of athletes in my home and my son, especially my first born very athletic boy.   And we were kind of at the beginning of the cusp of how important travel was, you know what I mean? Travel baseball and travel, you know, sports in general. And there's that pressure.   You need to choose this. You need to do this or else you are going to, you know, ruin the advantages for your child. If you don't do this, even if choosing that is going to mean you're going to sacrifice family time, you're going to sacrifice finances.   You are going to sacrifice your Sundays. I could go on and on. The world will tell you you have to do this in order to get to the prize that you're looking for, or your son is going to be disadvantaged.   If you don't choose that. And it took a lot to be like, no, we're not going to make, we're not going to make that trade. And there was a lot of pressure.   There's a lot of pressure with our son, you know what I mean? With him feeling sometimes neglected and having to deal in that relationship. So, it's not like that's immediate happiness or immediate joy, you know, but what did it did allow us to disciple him through all that.   It allowed us to see God, you know, use him, whatever team he was on, give him a lot of joy in sports. The blessing of it is that we saw him in high school, you know, excel in baseball, always rise to the top, win character awards. He eventually did go on to play college baseball and AIA, not like D1, but he got to play, got to use that gift to pay for his education.   But most importantly, he was a joyful, happy kid. Baseball didn't control his life. And I just praise God for that.   And in contrast, he, at the same, his age, same age level, there were these two boys who were twins were very well known for being top, top, top, top players. And they were just elevated in many circles we were in. And, you know, you, when you're in the baseball world, baseball moms will understand this, you know who the top players are.   You see the name, like, you know, when your son's in the paper for something, you know, he was listed in the number of top of DuPage kids. And obviously that's a feather in your cap and you're really proud of that. These boys were top of the top D1, but I'll never forget.   They went to different D1 schools and one of them ended up taking his own life his freshman year. I believe it just the most devastating thing. I could not, I cannot speak to any of those situations.   I don't know his family background. I do not know any history of at all. All I can say is it hit me really hard in the sense that these were the boys that so many parents were envying, envying of their success and of their status.   And that was so jolting to, to know that they'd received, you know, hit so many of these incredible hurdles that every parent thinks they want their kids to achieve. But obviously there was something amiss because there was a lack of joy, lack of happiness. I don't know the whole story.   But that just strikes me again of just how important it is to again, go back to keeping God first, make sure you're making the right sacrifices.   Laura Dugger: (21:23 - 22:43) That's a good word. It's such a sobering story, but making sure we're making the right sacrifices or really listening to God's counsel. That reminds me where I was this morning, Psalm 25.   I read it in the amplified version, but it was talking specifically that some of his guidance comes from his word. Like it's amazing. It's incredible.   It's important to pray and to be around others who are godly and do other spiritual rhythms, but there's nothing like reading his word to hear from him. And let me try and find the verses. Verse 14 in the amplified version says, “The secret of the wise counsel of the Lord is for those who fear him and he will let them know his covenant and reveal to them through his word, it's deep inner meaning.”   And the next verse, just the first part goes on to say, “My eyes are continually toward the Lord.” And that was such powerful takeaway this morning, but then I'm hearing it through the way that these lives played out. Because when you look, is it my understanding correct?   That you did travel sports, but they were not, your children chose not to do Sundays.   Amy Rienow: (22:44 - 25:52) Well, we did not even do travel sports for my oldest. It was back in the day when park district actually, you could, you know, like there were enough kids. So, we, my son did only park district all the way through eighth grade, but then he kind of, because he was like young for his age, he had one sort of gap year in between high school before he started like high school sports.   And that's when he did play a travel sport. We found one that honestly was not good at all. I don't think the level was any better than park district, but they accepted the no Sunday situation.   So, that's what we did. And you know, it was a losing team. Like he was on losing teams, like most of his baseball career until he got to high school.   So, it really was you know, the opposite of what the world said he needed. And yet he was able to, to rise and, and achieve. And honestly his high school experience was being able to always, he was a starter all the time and he his teams won.   So, it was like years of like, not, you know, kind of paying these prices I would say. And that's neither here or there. The winning or the losing is really not important.   The important was keeping baseball in its proper place, enjoying the gifts that God has given you, not letting, listening to the world. I'll just throw this in because we are what you said about sound. First of all, I love the amplified version.   So, that blessed me that you read the amplified, but you know, seeking the council, you, we must be as parents in his word, like regularly listening to how he's speaking to us because we also, it's so interesting. Rob and I live in a very interesting world. We had one foot, especially back then, one foot in the homeschool world, one foot in the public school area, public school community, lots of public school friends.   And then also the Christian school is where my son played. But you know, if we'd go to homeschool conference, there were tons of messages that you should not have your kids in sports at all. Sports are wrong.   Sports are a waste of time, you know? So, that was a strong message of sort of like condemnation almost for being in sports at all. So, my point is there was no one community that said, okay, this is the way, you know what I mean?   We had to seek the Lord, you know, for ourselves, for our family, for our son, knowing this was his love and his giftedness and continue to look for wisdom and how he should grow in those gifts. You know, and how he wanted to use it in his life, but not let it take over his life. And isn't that the lesson for all of us?   So, anyway, it depended on that seeking the counsel of him, both myself with my husband and then also with our W. It wasn't like we kept him out of the picture. We were praying the three of us for wisdom and all those things.   Laura Dugger: (25:53 - 26:42) I love hearing that because you're right. It's not about black and white decision of travel sports are always wrong or always right. But the main takeaway is seek the Lord because he has wisdom for our individual unique situation.   And I want to go back and close a few other loops. Sure. Please.   One of those being that even with perfectionism or with comparison or when we're choosing godly values that may contradict worldly values, I'm hearing a theme that there's a, it's a fight and that there's a spiritual battle. And you even said you had researched some of this, Amy, how do you personally learn about that and be aware of the spiritual realm?   Amy Rienow: (26:44 - 30:42) We, we really, I can't say it enough that we do need to be so aware of the spiritual realm. I didn't understand. I didn't understand in my early years of parenting at how important that was to pay attention to.   And here's the thing there's, I feel like there's the Lord brings us on a path along the way with the knowledge we need at the time. And then he wants us to stretch and grow and learn a little bit more. So, there was a season in my life.   When especially we began homeschooling, the Lord brought us into all these new teachings that we didn't really understand was so powerful. It was so wonderful. We were very blessed by all of those teaching and the conferences that we were attending.   But what began to happen for me is that the perfectionism that I knew was there kind of gotten folded into that teaching because all of a sudden I kind of wore as a spiritual, like pride that I, I called it my noble list. Now I, when I talk about my book, Not So Perfect Mom, I, this is not in the book, but this is part of my talks. Like I kind of replaced the world's list of great athlete, great, you know, so smart, all those things with my noble list.   My child will have wonderful character. My child will read God's word. My child will know what it means to serve, but you see what I mean?   We're still dealing with a list. God had to call me out of that way of thinking back to the importance of a relationship with him, meaning for myself and meaning for my kids. Because when my oldest was 12, I was starting to see that we could be raising a Pharisee. If we keep focusing on this noble list, like if he knows all of his Proverbs, if he obeys perfectly, if he, you know what I mean?   Like life is not supposed to be, God never called us to do that. He desires a daily relationship with us. And that's what he desires for our kids.   So, that was beginning to suffocate my oldest for sure. And my, I would say, and my daughter right underneath him because they felt the weight of this, you know, we need to arise to this, this standard. So, like that perfectionism can take on this, this type of robe that makes you feel very noble about it.   Especially if you're in certain circles, like spiritual circles, where if your kids look right, dress right. You know, say yes, ma'am and yes, sir. Then we're all assuming that they're wonderful and we're not really getting to the heart underneath, but that is, there's a tension and a spiritual battle.   That's far. That's super important to pay attention to. And the way the Lord showed that to me is that I would often say the phrase in conversation.   Oh, it's a battle. Oh, it's a battle. We're in a battle.   I'm the Lord. I don't know what they gave me a vision. That's too strong word, but I had this sort of, I, I guess it's a vision.   I imagine that I was on, I was sitting in a coffee, like at a table with a friend drinking coffee. And we were just, you know, chatting and yet that coffee table was in the middle of this bloody battlefield. And the Lord was just kind of showing me, this is how your attitude is about saying that it's in a battle.   Like you're sitting here, just talking with your friends, drinking coffee and chatting and laughing. And this is the battlefield. It's all around you.   What are you doing about the battle? You know, when you are following after the Lord, you need to expect opposition. You need to understand that your kids are under spiritual attack.   And if we're not praying and putting on that full armor of God and recognizing it, we're not engaged in it.   Laura Dugger: (30:42 - 31:41) When was the first time you listened to an episode of The Savvy Sauce? How did you hear about our podcast? Did a friend share it with you?   Will you be willing to be that friend now and text five other friends or post on your socials? Anything about The Savvy Sauce that you love. If you share your favorite episodes, that is how we continue to expand our reach and get the good news of Jesus Christ in more ears across the world.   So, we need your help. Another way to help us grow is to leave a five-star review on Apple podcasts. Each of these suggestions will cost you less than a minute, but it will be a great benefit to us.   Thank you so much for being willing to be generous with your time and share. We appreciate you.   When you go back to your family of origin, did your father ever find a saving faith in Jesus Christ as well?   Amy Rienow: (31:41 - 33:11) He did. He did actually. That's such a wonderful question. And he did when my husband and I were married for about a year. And he, at Christmas day in front of our whole family, after we were sitting at the table at dinner, he kind of waited for all the gifts to be open and be at a different spot.   And he said, “Well, I opened one more gift today and it was the gift of salvation.” Wow. I still tear up thinking about it and thinking about my older brother's response, who was not an emotional person.   And I saw tears in my older brother's eyes, but I just want to even in saying that, that taught me a lot because even at the time when he accepted salvation, he even said, I don't necessarily believe all the Bible's true. He really, you know, he accepted in faith and now he doesn't, you know, the Lord took him from evolutions. Now he's probably more conservative or believes the Bible in a way that I would say many other Christians maybe wouldn't believe, but I'm saying that it was a process watching him grow.   And my kids don't even understand that, that we call him Bop Bop. He used to be a man who, you know, let the communion plate pass every week. And he was not a believer because they see him so much as a spiritual leader now, but you see how faith moves and how faith changes us.   And we need to be patient with God in ourselves, with our kids, you know, and trust in that walk with Him. Love it.   Laura Dugger: (33:12 - 33:23) Well, I'm going to change gears here a little bit. Yeah. Will you explain attachment and share why you're so passionate about this topic?   Amy Rienow: (33:24 - 37:18) That is, I do feel like I love talking about attachment. I feel like it's an underrated thing to talk about. Some of you might be familiar.   I don't know if any of these names like Mary Ainsworth or the Harlow experience, you remember the monkey Harlow experience. It's most, most kids who've had like even a high school psychology class, know that the story of the monkey who has the wire surrogate mom with the bottle. And then has like the fuzzy mom that doesn't have the bottle and the monkey goes and gets its food from the bottle of the wire mom but continues to go over to the furry surrogate mom for comfort.   That's some of the original psychology on attachment but I was started my professional job in a school with children with behavior disorders and autism. That's one of my first jobs. And, and because of that, I went to different seminars for continuing education.   And one of them was a woman who specialized in attachment. And part of the reason she specialized in attachment because she'd adopted so many children and she was sort of a professional on adoption. And that's when I really did a deeper dive into attachment and specifically something called reactive attachment disorder.   I can't go into that. It would be a long tangent. But she was such an eye-opening time.   And this is even before I had children. But she said that, you know, she couldn't say everything she wanted to about attachment and the effects specifically of daycare on children, because it wasn't politically correct. That she would lose her funding basically, if she gave her true opinion on some of the things that our culture was doing to destroy attachment among families.   And it was just very eye opening to me that, you know, when we get our baby development books, the time that I was having kids, it was What to Expect When You're Expecting and What to Expect for Your One Year Old and all these milestones that moms are looking for. And obviously moms generally love their kids. I will stand by that over and over, you know what I mean?   That's the norm. And, you know, you're told to look for all of these milestones, but really attachment is not even mentioned in this book of how important it is. What are the signs of a securely attached child?   And yet this is so significant. And it's not just in the Christian world that we can recognize this. This is universally known in the psychology world, how important attachment is.   So, let's go back to that spiritual battle. Why is it that that is not discussed? Or why is that not focused in the development book?   Or why is it that if you're going to adopt a child, you're going to learn all about attachment, but that's not something that you may necessarily come into contact with if you're just having your own children. But attachment is essential for all healthy relationships. And specifically attachment with the mother.   I mean, we can use the term primary caregiver. Yes, to other people come in and be a primary care. I'm not saying that, you know. It's not just the mom, but this relationship with the mom, this, this attachment is so significant because God created it that way.   And it, how that relationship and how that attachment happens will have this impact on all the other relationships that your child is going to have in their life. So, it's something that we need to be talking about. And I pray that it becomes more and more common for people to talk about it.   Laura Dugger: (37:18 - 37:25) Well, and I'm even curious that speaker was that Karen Purvis?   Amy Rienow: (37:25 - 38:04) Oh, I don't even remember her name. I apologize. She was not a Christian. She was not a believer.   She, well, if she was, I don't know that. Cause I was, I was listening to her in a secular setting. You know, so she might've been, I don't, so I don't know, but I, the reason why it was so curious to me that the time most of the children on my case list that I had at this school were adopted.   So, I found that so interesting, like, and that was why I went to her seminar to try to understand more that connection of the adoption. And you know, how did that play into some of the problems that these children were, were having.   Laura Dugger: (38:05 - 38:20) Well, and just to go a little bit further with attachment, let's take it from the positive side. What are some proven examples or ways that we can form that healthy attachment with our children and that bonding?   Amy Rienow: (38:21 - 40:38) Yeah, well, a lot of it is just a spending time with your child, you know, and that's why I want to be very gentle here. Cause the world that we live in, I mean, I know for a fact that there are so many moms in situations where they have to go back to work right away. There are difficult circumstances.   And I'm, I am not here to say that then you don't have an attached relationship with child. Cause that is honestly not true. But I will say that if you have any opportunity to be home with your children, please, please, please take that opportunity because your children need that contact with you to form that attachment.   I mean, the number one thing for attachment is presence, time, touch, eye contact, and smiles. I mean, like it is what the baby that interplay that's happening with the baby and the mother and, and the why babies love faces. I mean, like they, we need to have that time with our children.   We need to be the ones to know our children the best that only comes with time. But even a mom who maybe for reasons have to be away from their baby, the important thing is that when you're with them, that you are engaged. You know, I even, I don't have my phone in front of me.   Even the phone takes away attachment. You know, when you're looking at another screen, as opposed to paying attention to that communication with the baby long before they're communicating long for the communicating with words, they are interacting and communicating with you. So, God knew what he's doing when he created mothers with the ability to feed their babies.   Nursing enables attachment, you know, because the baby is dependent on the mother. So, all of these things play into why God created our system the way it is because it was designed not to just physically feed our babies, but to emotionally create this attached, secured relationship where that enables a child to feel safe, feel security.   Laura Dugger: (40:39 - 40:54) Well, that makes me think of another a word that you wisely encourage us. And that is the word affection. So, can you share why this is also important to shower on our children?   Amy Rienow: (40:55 - 43:47) Yes. You know how it is when you become a mom, there's all these new parenting styles out there, things that you get bombarded with, or should I do this? Or, you know, and I think I was really impacted by a Bible, small group where a woman was talking about her six-month-old needing disciplining her six-month-old.   And it hit me really negatively because I just heard a woman who had had like, I think she has 17 children who talked about, you know, there's, you cannot spoil and she used, you cannot spoil anybody under the age of two. I would say it's as much as under three with as far as attention and love and affection, affection, your children need your affection. Again, let's go to how this, how Satan, let's go back to that spiritual battle.   We can keep going back. Cause I often find you can see God's truth with how it's perverted in the world. So, let's look at how we have a sex education system now in so many schools, including in Illinois that tries to teach younger children horrific adult sexual behaviors, correct?   And they are manipulating what needs to, what children do need, which is positive, a non-sexual physical connection with their parents, with their siblings, with aunts and uncles. So, so in some ways I can remember early in my career and either in my development in getting my classes, my masters, you know, in some ways they demonize, you know, like parents are afraid to sometimes have too much physical touch or too much of this because it's almost like, Oh, we can't, you know, we have to make sure our children are more independent, you know, like, like for example, co-sleeping, which builds a lot of affection between parents, which is normal in most cultures and normal throughout history can be viewed as really negative. Like, you know, you gotta get your kid in another room and another, like pushing them out early and yet look at what we see from the world, which is an encroachment of inappropriate touch, inappropriate sexuality at younger and younger ages.   And obviously kids who don't have positive, strong, physical affection are more inclined to fall for Satan's counterfeit. And desire and need touch, but they, they, it's been twisted from the world's perspective.   Laura Dugger: (43:47 - 44:17) Does that make sense? Are you tracking with that? I am.   And it's even making me think of a previous guest, Dr. Gary Chapman, talking about mostly the five love languages of in marriage and how those are displayed. But we also discussed with children and the parent child. And I'm just thinking as you're giving examples of affection, it, it even goes beyond the hugs and kisses and appropriate touch to acts of service and lighting up with them and spending that quality time and all those love languages.   Amy Rienow: (44:18 - 46:16) That's right. As the kids get older, I mean, my, my, we joke about, you know, I have certain sons that, did not want to be touched at all when they were 13, 14. We laughed at my son J.D. like he would want to come give me hugs and he would want to, but it had to always be on his terms.   Like I could never come up, you know what I mean? And how can you, my affection towards him was I'll get you a double cheeseburger. I will make you a milkshake.   That was the way I communicated my affection to him, but it was also my presence in listening to him when he needed to be listening to. There's so many ways as we get older. Right.   And I love Gary Chapman's work as far as like understanding our kids love, love languages, but I'll never forget, you know, I just had JD's wedding and he surprised me with the mother son dance and he had a song ready for me. I'm going to cry again, but it was this wonderful, he had told his siblings that he was probably going to cry on his wedding day when he saw Brooke and when he danced with his mom. And I had so many, and he was really hugging me and holding on and not afraid to be affectionate with me during that dance.   And that's because affection has always been a normal part of our home and a normal part of our relationship. And so, I just want to encourage parents out there not to be afraid of both physical affection when they're young and don't push your child. If your child is needing you or wants hugs, I would say, don't hesitate to give those to them because there is a culture again that pushes kids like, Oh, you shouldn't need that now.   You shouldn't, you're too old for that. Let them determine those boundaries. You give them the hugs and the affection as long as they still want it.   Cause I promise you they're all going to come to a day and they're not gonna want it. And you don't need to worry about if they're looking for that for you, it's a need that, that you can still meet.   Laura Dugger: (46:17 - 46:34) Well, and one other piece of parenting. I know we oftentimes hear mom guilt. I don't know if dads experienced the same thing, but how can we overcome that?   And what do you see as being at the root of struggling with sometimes that false guilt?   Amy Rienow: (46:35 - 49:52) Yes. Well, that I think comes so much again. Well, for me, it came internalized.   I had, I carried some internalized guilt with me, but that's compounded by a culture that puts so many expectations and demands on us as mothers. Where we are bombarded with another ideal, another sense of where we're falling short. And again, I know I keep coming back to the spiritual attack, but the point is I want to lay it out there that sometimes, sometimes moms can feel like, especially in an area, this sounds interesting, but because so many more children have been in daycare or exposed to a lot more developmental things at young ages. If you are like home with your kids, if you feel like, well, gosh, I'm not providing a craft every day.   I'm not, you know, I'm not reading. I went to the library and it literally had this whole campaign on a thousand books before kindergarten. Like, are you kidding me?   And that's the kind of thing. It's like, you're just having a normal mom day and all of a sudden you walk into the library and you get bombarded with what? I'm supposed to read my child a thousand books before, like a new standard that's just put in front of you.   And the enemy uses that to, to make women feel that they're not enough, you know? And first of all, we have to go back to God's word. That says, “there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”   And to really understand that, yes, we need to be open to be convicted to sin. But when we are convicted of something that our heavenly father wants us to change, we will experience a freedom and a lightning when we repent. And it'll be like a burden lifted up.   And as soon as you have that revenge, you feel like you've been given a gift. It's not something that's a burden. So, that is always my guide for women.   Like if you are under something that you feel like is a burden that you're carrying around, um, this sense that you're not doing enough or that you're a bad mom, that is not coming from your Heavenly Father. You need to reject that in the name of Jesus Christ, because this sense is clearly from the accuser. The Bible says Satan is an accuser and he stands accusing us, but Jesus is there to, you know, to say, no, that's my child.   They're covered by my love covered by my grace. So, we don't want to live under that over that guilt, bad mom guilt shadow for whatever, you know, God knows our faults. He doesn't expect us not to have faults, and your children are going to have faults and your husband are going to have faults.   So, if we think that the Lord is, you know, carrying around our faults, hanging over this, we need to, we need to be reminded that that's not from him and we have to reject it. And again, we're talking about a spiritual battle. You might have to reject the same lie 20 times a day until you find real freedom from falling for that guilt trap.   Laura Dugger: (49:53 - 50:12) Well, and along those lines, as you talk about engaging in the battle, you encourage us as children to woo our children in this same way that the Lord draws us close to him. So, how can we go and do likewise as the Lord does?   Amy Rienow: (50:12 - 52:09) Woo our children's hearts. Like I think it's important to know that the relationship that we have, our kids will, the more we model our relationship, our parenting off of how our heavenly father parents us, the easier it will be for our kids to kind of what I, I have a visual in my mind that I'm walking with my child's hand and I'm holding Jesus hand and I'm gradually through this parenting, trying to connect my child's hand to Jesus hands.   Like that's the picture that I want to be guiding my parenting, not I'm trying to raise you to be X, Y, Z, da, da, da, da, da. I'm trying to lead you to your Heavenly Savior. So, you're going to walk with Him.   So, Jesus is, you know, there's many components of our relationship with Jesus and the Heavenly Father and Holy spirit. But one of them is that God woos the hearts of his people. When you read scripture, He desired, He's always telling them you walk with Me.   “My burden is easy. My yoke is light.” You know what I mean?   He's, He's showing us this freedom and this love and grace. He's not coming with a sense of, see, you're doing this and this and this and this and this. And that's why. You know what I mean?   Like you see God's everlasting love for his people. And we want to woo our children with that same kind of everlasting love. You know, I always say, say you can, you can demand your kids to obey you.   You can demand your kids to respect you, but no one can demand love. Even our Heavenly Father doesn't demand love. He gives us free will and choice to choose to love him.   And so, we want to remember that with our kids to woo them. We want them to choose to love us. So, we woo our hearts.   You already mentioned Gary Chapman by understanding our kids' love languages. You know, realizing that's part of our job as a parent is to woo their hearts.   Laura Dugger: (52:10 - 53:13) So, I love how you're drawing this out as the Lord being the best parent ever and that we can learn from Him. That was something that I felt like he was really teaching me in my quiet time this week. And I wanted to take it one step further.   So, for me applying that, I just made a note on my phone and now anytime I come across a parenting scripture, I want to put it in this same list and go back and review it and be prayerful that the Lord can change me to be more like Him as a parent. So, I'm just going to share the first verse that inspired me to do this this week is Luke 6:36 and the amplified version again, “Be merciful, responsive, compassionate, tender, just as your Heavenly Father is merciful.” And so, Amy, just as He's a great parent and we can learn from Him, I appreciate you just drawing us back, pointing us to the heart of the Father.   And if we want to continue learning from you after this chat, where would you like to direct us?   Amy Rienow: (53:13 - 55:30) Well, I'd love you to come to our website at visionaryfam.com and listen to us at our podcast, Family Vision. You know, we named it Family Vision kind of like television because television really changed the American family. It did when it first introduced on to the scene and our heart is that family vision.   Our podcasts would help give your family a new vision, a vision from God's word for all that he wants to do in your family. You can also find our books well on our website, but also on Amazon. We have, I brought a couple today, but Not So Perfect Mom: Learning to Embrace What Matters Most, which is what you're talking about today.   And this book is very close to my heart because it really was wonderful. It was the easiest book I've ever written because I just felt like it was being able to talk about how God has worked in my own life and my own journey. And it just was the like culmination of so many conversations I've had with moms like all over the country, but really overseas and over the world.   And we're all battling some of the same exact things. So, I just, I would encourage you to pick up Not So Perfect Mom: Learning to Embrace What Matters Most. And then the other book that is, it's not new, it's called Shine Embracing God's Heart for You.   I'm actually leading a group of women through it on a zoom study right now. Um, but I actually wrote this, originally back in 2005 when I was a youth pastor's wife. Um, but really it's all about kind of what I talked about earlier of just, recognizing how to, to trust and believe the Lord.   I said, you know, wholeheartedly with our head and our hearts and our hands and, and really going back to, you know, keeping God first, identifying idols in our life. So, we, you know, the more that we get our own relationship with the Lord centered and we kind of figured that part out. I feel like everything flows from that in our homes, in our marriage, in our other relationships. So, I highly recommend, um, picking up this shine and there's a prayer journal to go with it.   There's a leader's guide. If you'd like to lead a group and that's all on Amazon or at our website.   Laura Dugger: (55:31 - 55:48) Wonderful. As always we'll add the links to that in the show notes for today's episode and Amy, you already know that we're called The Savvy Sauce because Savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, as my final question for you today, what is your Savvy Sauce?   Amy Rienow: (55:48 - 57:06) I love that question. My Savvy Sauce is actually mentioned in Not So Perfect Mom, but it's when the Lord gave me that quote, “whatever is worth doing is worth doing poorly.” I feel that perfectionism kept me paralyzed so often.   If I couldn't do things exactly the way I thought that they should be in my head, then I was kind of pathetic and wasn't going to do it at all. And so, my encouragement in any area, if you know something is worth doing. Let me give you a practical example really quick on this, even when it comes to like, um, when you're struggling with your marriage. I know I had some issues in my marriage with my husband where I was getting to the point where I didn't even really want to go out on a date, you know, because it was just discouraging and whatever's worth doing is worth doing poorly. So, knowing that, you know, even when my relationships aren't living up to my expectations, or even when I'm feeling hurt, the Lord tells us to press on. Don't, don't stop doing what you know, God wants you to do, um, because you don't think it's living up to your expectations.   Do it. Just do it.   Laura Dugger: (57:07 - 57:38) That's a good word. And Amy, you have so much to share. Our family has benefited so much from the ministry and work that you and Rob do through Visionary Families.   And I am just so grateful for your time and you just to share all of this parenting wisdom. It felt like a mentoring conversation. I loved hearing all the ways that you've been intentional in what you've learned from the Lord. So, thank you for seeking Him.   Thank you for sharing with us and thank you for being my guest.   Amy Rienow: (57:39 - 57:58) Thank you, Laura, for having me. It's been a delight. I love connecting hearts with people who are like-minded.   I love what you're doing with The Savvy Sauce. In fact, my neighbor is one of your devoted followers, and she was so excited to hear about your podcast. So, thank you so much for having me and it's truly an honor and a pleasure to be here.   Laura Dugger: (57:59 - 1:01:13) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

In Luke 16, Jesus shares two parables that challenge how we view wealth, faithfulness, and eternity. Pastors Courtney, David, and Clayton unpack the stories of the shrewd manager and the rich man and Lazarus, exploring what they reveal about stewardship, generosity, and where our hearts truly belong. Looking for the Bible Project videos on Luke? … Continue reading "Bible Savvy Podcast | S6 Episode 9: Luke 16"

Can your podcast app create shareable audio clips, skip silence with AI, or manage meds with just your voice? Dive into a hands-on comparison of Apple Podcasts, Overcast, Pocket Casts, and Downcast with the features that actually matter. • Deep dive on Apple Podcasts app features, transcripts, and syncing • Overcast's unique tools: smart speed, voice boost, personalized playback, and clip sharing • Pocket Casts overview: recommendations, playback customization, audio bookmarks, and listening stats • Downcast is a minimalist, video-supporting podcast downloader with Chromecast • News: Apple's new Foundation Models framework brings on-device AI to apps. Apple highlights apps leveraging Foundation Models for health, fitness, journaling, and content creation • Shortcuts Corner: Logging medications with Siri and Capsule, Apple Health limitations • App Caps: Incase AirPods lanyard & the Apple Sports app for live game updates Hosts: Mikah Sargent and Rosemary Orchard Contact iOS Today at iOSToday@twit.tv. Download or subscribe to iOS Today at https://twit.tv/shows/ios-today Want access to the ad-free video and exclusive features? Become a member of Club TWiT today! https://twit.tv/clubtwit Club TWiT members can discuss this episode and leave feedback in the Club TWiT Discord.

Can your podcast app create shareable audio clips, skip silence with AI, or manage meds with just your voice? Dive into a hands-on comparison of Apple Podcasts, Overcast, Pocket Casts, and Downcast with the features that actually matter. • Deep dive on Apple Podcasts app features, transcripts, and syncing • Overcast's unique tools: smart speed, voice boost, personalized playback, and clip sharing • Pocket Casts overview: recommendations, playback customization, audio bookmarks, and listening stats • Downcast is a minimalist, video-supporting podcast downloader with Chromecast • News: Apple's new Foundation Models framework brings on-device AI to apps. Apple highlights apps leveraging Foundation Models for health, fitness, journaling, and content creation • Shortcuts Corner: Logging medications with Siri and Capsule, Apple Health limitations • App Caps: Incase AirPods lanyard & the Apple Sports app for live game updates Hosts: Mikah Sargent and Rosemary Orchard Contact iOS Today at iOSToday@twit.tv. Download or subscribe to iOS Today at https://twit.tv/shows/ios-today Want access to the ad-free video and exclusive features? Become a member of Club TWiT today! https://twit.tv/clubtwit Club TWiT members can discuss this episode and leave feedback in the Club TWiT Discord.

Can your podcast app create shareable audio clips, skip silence with AI, or manage meds with just your voice? Dive into a hands-on comparison of Apple Podcasts, Overcast, Pocket Casts, and Downcast with the features that actually matter. Deep dive on Apple Podcasts app features, transcripts, and syncing Overcast's unique tools: smart speed, voice boost, personalized playback, and clip sharing Pocket Casts overview: recommendations, playback customization, audio bookmarks, and listening stats Downcast is a minimalist, video-supporting podcast downloader with Chromecast News: Apple's new Foundation Models framework brings on-device AI to apps. Apple highlights apps leveraging Foundation Models for health, fitness, journaling, and content creation Shortcuts Corner: Logging medications with Siri and Capsule, Apple Health limitations App Caps: Incase AirPods lanyard & the Apple Sports app for live game updates Hosts: Mikah Sargent and Rosemary Orchard Contact iOS Today at iOSToday@twit.tv. Download or subscribe to iOS Today at https://twit.tv/shows/ios-today Want access to the ad-free video and exclusive features? Become a member of Club TWiT today! https://twit.tv/clubtwit Club TWiT members can discuss this episode and leave feedback in the Club TWiT Discord.

Real security isn't found in wealth. In Luke 12:13-34, Jesus warns us to “be on your guard against all kinds of greed” and urges us to be rich toward God. In this episode of the Bible Savvy Podcast, the team explores God and money–and what it really means to seek God's Kingdom over temporary treasures. … Continue reading "Bible Savvy Podcast | S6 Episode 8: Luke 12"

Looking for real insights and actionable advice about love, dating, and relationships in the modern age? You won't want to miss this episode of the Get Obsessed Podcast, hosted by the dynamic Julie Lokun. In this compelling conversation, Julie dives deep into the world of contemporary romance with special guest Kerry Brett—award-winning photographer, relationship storyteller, and creator of the SHOT AT LOVE brand (book | podcast). Why You'll Love This Episode Are you feeling jaded about love? Wondering if dating apps like Tinder or Match.com truly work? Or just navigating the emotional rollercoaster of dating post-divorce (or at any age)? Kerry Brett, host of the hugely popular SHOT AT LOVE podcast and author of SHOT AT LOVE: How to Find Love After Heartbreak, joins Julie Lokun to share her wisdom, humor, and hard-won truths. Together, they unpack: The evolution of love—from puppy love to mature relationships Why belief in love matters, no matter your age or past heartbreak The REAL truths about dating apps and finding your match online Savvy strategies for dating in person and maximizing your odds Expert red flags and green flags for first dates and beyond How to protect your heart and keep your standards high The difference between chemistry and compatibility—and why both matter Highlights from the Conversation Love as a Birthright: Kerry discusses why love is for everyone, how to maintain optimism, and why "love is a superpower" even after setbacks or heartbreak. Online Dating Demystified: From the early days of Match.com to today's swipe-friendly apps, Kerry gives listeners a masterclass on navigating the dating landscape with confidence. Empowering Women (and Men): The importance of leaning into natural energies, letting men “be the hunters,” and why focusing on what you really want brings results. Top Dating Tips: Original opening lines, texting etiquette, who pays on dates, overcoming ghosting, and the critical importance of self-worth. Red & Green Flags: Spot the signs early, avoid common pitfalls, and learn from Kerry's personal and often hilarious stories from the frontlines of modern love. About Kerry Brett Kerry Brett is not only an authority in love and dating, but also in visual storytelling, bringing her photography expertise to crafting a picture-perfect dating profile. She's the author of SHOT AT LOVE: How to Find Love After Heartbreak (now available on Amazon and soon on Audible!) and the host of the acclaimed SHOT AT LOVE podcast. Her mission? To empower singles to find the love they deserve with humor, grit, and tactical know-how. Get Obsessed with Connection The Get Obsessed Podcast (hosted by Julie Lokun) is your go-to destination to elevate your life and become obsessed with progress, passion, and possibilities. Check out more episodes at Get Obsessed Podcast and connect with an inspiring community! Connect With Kerry Brett and Resources: Shot at Love Book (Amazon) Shot at Love Podcast (Apple) Kerry Brett Instagram Kerry Brett Photography Connect With Julie Lokun and the Get Obsessed Podcast: Get Obsessed Podcast Julie Lokun Coaching Get Obsessed Podcast Instagram Ready for Real Love? Don't just swipe—listen in! Subscribe and leave a review for the Get Obsessed Podcast so you never miss empowering conversations with dynamic thought leaders like Kerry Brett. If you want to transform your love life and your outlook, this episode is your new must-listen. Tune in now, take your shot at love, and get obsessed with your life. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

271. Ways to Engage with Youth, Teens, and Gen Z in Church and at Home with Dr. Kara Powell   *Transcription Below*   1 Thessalonians 2:8 NIV "so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well."   Kara Powell, PhD, is the chief of leadership formation at Fuller Theological Seminary, the executive director of the Fuller Youth Institute, and the founder of the TENx10 Collaboration. Named by Christianity Today as one of "50 Women to Watch," Kara serves as a youth and family strategist for Orange, and she also speaks regularly at national parenting and leadership conferences. Kara has authored or coauthored numerous books, including Faith Beyond Youth Group, 3 Big Questions That Shape Your Future, 3 Big Questions That Change Every Teenager, Growing With, Growing Young, The Sticky Faith Guide for Your Family, and the entire Sticky Faith series.   Kara and her husband, Dave, are regularly inspired by the learning and laughter that come from their three young adult children.   Questions and Topics We Cover: What insights do you have to share on Gen-Z? When it comes to navigating intergenerational tensions, how can we practically turn our differences into superpowers and unite together? In your most recent book, entitled, Future-Focused Church, you begin with writing that the brightest days of the church are still ahead. What led you to that realization?   Thank You to Our Sponsor: WinShape Marriage   Other Episodes Mentioned from The Savvy Sauce: 127 Generational Differences with Hayden Shaw 2 God-Honoring Relationship Between a Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law with Author of The Mother-in-Law Dance, Annie Chapman   Stories Sampler from The Savvy Sauce Stories Series: 233 Stories Series: Surprises from God with Tiffany Noel 235 Stories Series: Ever-Present Help in Trouble with Kent Heimer 242 Stories Series: He Gives and Takes Away with Joyce Hodel 245 Stories Series: Miracles Big and Small with Dr. Rob Rienow 246 Stories Series: Experiencing God's Tangible Love with Jen Moore   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:00 – 0:11)   Laura Dugger: (0:12 - 2:13) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.    I'm thrilled to introduce you to our sponsor, Winshape Marriage. Their weekend marriage retreats will strengthen your marriage while you enjoy the gorgeous setting, delicious food, and quality time with your spouse. To find out more, visit them online at winshapemarriage.org.    I am so honored to introduce my guest for today, Dr. Kara Powell. She is the Chief of Leadership Formation at Fuller Theological Seminary and the Executive Director of the Fuller Youth Institute. She's also founder of the 10x10 Collaboration and named by today as one of 50 women to watch. She is also extremely humble and insightful as she's going to discuss how we can leverage the power of stories and questions in our relationships at church and in our family and in beyond, and this is to model the life of Jesus. Make sure you also stay tuned in through the end because she's going to share a plethora of conversations and questions specifically to ask when we're engaging in conversation with young people, whether that's our own children and teens or our grandchildren or people in the community or our churches. It's some questions that you don't want to miss. Here's our chat.   Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Kara.   Dr. Kara Powell: (2:07 - 2:09) Oh, it's so good to be with you and your audience, Laura.   Laura Dugger: (2:09 - 2:13) Well, I'd love for you just to first give us a snapshot of your current life and share what's led you to the work that you get to do today.   Dr. Kara Powell: (2:14 - 4:06) Yeah, absolutely. So, let's see. I'll start with family. Dave and I have been married for I think 27-ish years, and we have three kids who are 24, 22, and 19.   Our youngest is a college freshman, and so we're technically empty nesters, but I actually like the term open nesters better because our kids come back, which we love. They come back in the summers and sometimes after college. And we actually, since I live in Pasadena, California, which had the fires in January, we actually have another 22-year-old young woman living with us, which we love.   So, we love having my husband, Dave, and I love having young people around, whether it's our own three kids or the young woman who's living with us. And I'm also a faculty member at Fuller Seminary, and while I certainly teach periodically, my main roles at Fuller actually have to do with leadership beyond Fuller. I'm the chief of leadership formation at Fuller, so I oversee all of Fuller's non-degree offerings, and then I'm the executive director of the Fuller Youth Institute, which is a research center that studies the faith of adolescents.   And I love that question, what got me to the work that I do today? Well, God would be the answer to that, but I was a long-term youth pastor here in Southern California at two different churches, loved teenagers, and Fuller was getting ready to start a new research center that was going to listen to the needs of parents and leaders, and then do research to answer those needs. And that really intrigued me, because I love young people, and I love research, and I love real-life ministry and family.   And so, I thought, well, I would love to hear more about that center, and I've been at Fuller now for over 20 years.   Laura Dugger: (4:07 - 4:17) Wow, that's incredible. And quick side note, I'm just so sorry for everything that you all endured in January with all the fires.   Dr. Kara Powell: (4:17 - 4:39) Yeah, it's heartbreaking, and in some ways, in many ways, devastating. And I'm grateful for how God is working through churches and working through God's people. So, there's all sorts of bright spots in the midst of the pain.   But yes, please pray that churches and God's people would be salt and light, because it's going to be a few years of rebuilding.   Laura Dugger: (440 - 4:43) Yes, Lord Jesus, may that be true. Amen.   Dr. Kara Powell: (4:43 - 4:44) Yeah, thank you.   Laura Dugger: (4:45 - 5:17) And I know with your background, you've studied practical theology, and you also have this broad knowledge of psychology. But some churches haven't studied psychology as much, and so I think that typically leads to less of an appreciation for it. But my fear is that they may miss out if they completely ignore it.   So, will you share some of the benefits that you've seen that come from applying God's truth from any of theologies?   Dr. Kara Powell: (5:17 - 8:14) Yeah, yeah. Well, at Fuller Seminary, we have two schools. One is our School of Mission and Theology, which I'm an alum of and a faculty member in.   And the other is our School of Psychology. And so, Laura, you asked a question that's right at the heart of what we love about training leaders and therapists. And in fact, my favorite statue at Fuller, the title of it is Planting the Cross in the Heart of Psychology.   And that's exactly what we believe. So, you know, God's made us as holistic people. And I love thinking both about how is our theology driving us as well as our psychology.   And you know, one way to think about our psychology, a colleague of mine at Fuller talks about people's losses and longings. And that phrase has been so helpful for me. Like, what are people's losses and longings?   And how is that connected with how they're responding? So, so much of our work at the Fuller Youth Institute relates to young people. And I remember coaching a senior pastor who was experiencing a lot of resistance to prioritizing young people from senior adults.   And what the senior pastor realized is, of course, I shouldn't say of course, but in this particular church, when he was saying we need to prioritize young people, those over 60 felt like, wait, that means I'm not going to be a priority. People who are older often already feel that here in US culture. And so, no wonder that was intimidating, that was threatening, that felt like a loss to those senior adults.   And so, I love what the senior pastor ended up doing is he implemented one of our principles of change that we recommend, which is people support what they create. And so, if you want to build ownership, then how can you involve as many people as possible in creating whatever you're trying to develop? And so, the senior pastor went to the senior adults and apologized for sending a message that, you know, made them feel like they were not going to be priority.   And instead, he said, how can we make this church a church that your grandkids would love to be part of? And that connected with those, you know, post 60, most of whom were grandparents, whether their grandkids live locally, or, you know, globally, they wanted their church to be a place where their grandkids and other young people would connect. And so, you know, he turned senior adults feeling like they were peripheral, to really feeling like they were partners in what God was doing in the church.   And so, yes, I would invite us all to think about what are people's losses and longings? And how is that contributing to how they're responding to whatever we're all experiencing?   Laura Dugger: (8:15 - 10:20) Let's take a quick break to hear a message from our sponsor. Friends, I'm excited to share with you today's sponsor, Winshape Marriage. Do you feel like you need a weekend away with your spouse and a chance to grow in your relationship together at the same time?   Winshape Marriage is a fantastic ministry that provides weekend marriage retreats to help couples grow closer together in every season and stage of life. From premarital to parenting to the empty nest phase, there is an opportunity for you. Winshape Marriage is grounded on the belief that the strongest marriages are the ones that are nurtured, even when it seems things are going smoothly, so that they're stronger if they do hit a bump along their marital journey.   These weekend retreats are hosted within the beautiful refuge of Winshape Retreat, perched in the mountains of Rome, Georgia, which is a short drive from Atlanta, Birmingham and Chattanooga. While you're there, you will be well fed, well nurtured and well cared for. During your time away in this beautiful place, you and your spouse will learn from expert speakers and explore topics related to intimacy, overcoming challenges, improving communication and more.   I've stayed on Winshape before and I can attest to their generosity, food and content. You will be so grateful you went. To find an experience that's right for you and your spouse, head to their website, windshapemarriage.org/savvy. That's W-I-N-S-H-A-P-E marriage.org/S-A-V-V-Y. Thanks for your sponsorship.   Well, Kara, you've also done so much research on young people and just in general, I'd love to hear what insights do you have on Gen Z?   Dr. Kara Powell: (10:20 - 14:16) Yeah, yeah. Well, we at the Fuller Youth Institute, we have spent a lot of time studying and doing research on Gen Z, which tends to be those who are 14, 15 and up. Our very youngest teenagers are all actually now Gen Alpha, but we'll talk about Gen Z.   And as we've looked at the research, we've landed on three words which we think well describe Gen Z. First, they are anxious. And if we look at young people today, they do have unprecedented levels of mental health challenges, anxiety, depression, stress, even suicidal thoughts.   And so, we do a lot of training to help parents and leaders understand mental health and how they can be a safe space and get young people the help they need. So, this is an anxious generation. This is an adaptive generation.   This generation is so creative and entrepreneurial and visionary. You know, while there's a lot of downsides to technology, technology also helps young people know more about what's wrong in the world and sometimes take steps to make what is wrong right and restore God's justice to our world. And so, this is an adaptive and creative generation.   And then in addition to being anxious and adaptive, this is a diverse generation. Here in the U.S., we crossed a line in 2020. In the midst of everything else that happened in 2020, we crossed a line where now 50% of those under 18 are young people of color.   So, for your audience to just keep that in mind that 50% of those under 18 are white and 50% are young people of color and that percentage of young people of color is likely going to continue to grow. So, I would say those are three key attributes to this generation. And then, you know, when it comes to what this generation is experiencing spiritually, I really appreciate what my friend and fellow podcaster Carey Nieuwhof has described with young people that they are both in revival and retreat.   And, you know, we see data for both. There's so much that's encouraging about how young people are responding to Jesus. They're open to Jesus.   We're seeing this especially on college campuses. They're responding in mass on college campuses in some really beautiful ways. Both InterVarsity and Crew are seeing that.   But then this generation is also in some ways distancing themselves from the institutional church. Springtide Research Institute did some study of 13- to 25-year-olds and found that 13- to 25-year-olds in the U.S. are almost three times as likely to say they've been hurt by organized religion as trust organized religion. So, our 13- to 25-year-olds are distrustful, a little cynical about institutional religion.   And so, we have our work cut out for us to build trust back. And let me just say, sadly, we have earned young people's lack of trust by the way that by our moral failures, by the way that we have not been as loving as Jesus wants us to be and as young people want us to be. And so, the good news is the way that we re-earn trust with young people is by little acts of kindness and consistency.   So, anybody listening can rebuild trust with a young person. The research on trust shows it's not about heroic acts. It's about sending a text and saying, hey, I'm praying for you.   It's about remembering a young person's name at church. It's about showing up at a young person's soccer game. So, in the midst of this generation and being both revival and retreat, there are practical steps that any adult can take.   Laura Dugger: (14:17 - 14:36) Wow, that's so good. You've got ideas now coming to me for how to pour into even the youth group. This is probably a very random idea, but how great would it be to have a Google calendar of all of their events and then whoever in the church is available to go support? That would just be a practical way.   Dr. Kara Powell: (14:36 - 15:45) Okay, so, Laura, you have just named actually one of my favorite ideas that a church that is here in Los Angeles is doing. They created a Google calendar and volunteers as well as parents can add information. But then what this church did, they started with a Google calendar and then it's a church of about 300 people.   And so, they have now started every Sunday morning. They have a slide with what's happening in young people's lives for the next week. So-and-so is in a play.   So-and-so has a basketball game. So-and-so has a Boy Scout activity. And so, adults in the church, often senior adults who have some extra time, are showing up at kids' events.   Plus, every week they're prioritizing young people. So, when you're a young person in that church and every week there's a slide about you and your friends and what's happening, that says something to the young people sitting there. So, yeah, you're-I actually love that idea.   And especially for smaller churches, I think that's one of the big advantages of smaller churches is we can be more intimate and caring. So, yes, let's please do that.   Laura Dugger: (15:46 - 16:00) Oh, that's so good. I love hearing how that played out. And now I'm also curious because you mentioned it's Gen Alpha behind.   Do you have any insight onto them as well?   Dr. Kara Powell: (16:00 - 16:27) Well, you're going to have to have me back because we are just-we received a grant from the Lilly Endowment, who's funded much of our research to study Gen Alpha. And they're just getting old enough that we really can, quite honestly. And so, like literally this week we are working on survey questions for Gen Alpha.   And we'll have more in the next year about what's similar between Gen Z and Gen Alpha, as well as what's different. So, I'd rather wait and save that for later.   Laura Dugger: (16:28 - 16:34) That sounds great. I'm especially interested in that generation. That is all four of our daughters would fall within that. So, I can't wait to hear your findings.   Dr. Kara Powell: (16:34 - 16:36) Yeah.   Laura Dugger: (16:38 - 17:15) And I think it's also bringing up, I'm going to link to a previous episode, Generational Differences with Hayden Shaw, because I don't know if you feel this same way. I think millennials especially got pegged as the generational bias put on them was actually confused with their life stage. And Hayden's the one who wrote about that and drew that to our attention.   So, that's helpful to sift out as we're thinking of young people too, because sometimes older generations can look down on younger generations and see some of the shortcomings. Do you see that as well?   Dr. Kara Powell: (17:16 - 18:55) Oh, for sure. For sure. I think we compare young people to who we are now instead of remembering our 13 and 19 and 25 year old self.   And so, I mean, that's one of our biggest pieces of advice when it comes to young people is instead of judging them, how do we journey with them? How do we really empathize with what they're experiencing? And when we are tempted to judge young people, let's just start at, well, let's just stop and ask ourselves, would we want to be a young person today?   It's so very challenging to be a young person today. I mean, mental health alone, like if I think about my tendency to, as a teenager myself, to compare myself with others, to be worried that I was left out. I mean, if there was a cell phone that showed me everything my friends were doing without me, and I'm stuck at home, like no wonder that young people feel more anxious.   I think I would really be struggling with anxiety if I was a teenager now. I mean, honestly, even at my age, I don't check social media on Friday night or Saturday night, because I might be, Dave and I might be having leftovers and either working or watching a movie on Netflix. And I go on social media and my friends are out with their husbands and having this phenomenal time.   And at my age, that makes me feel insecure, let alone imagine being a 13 or 18- or 22-year-old and navigating that. So, so yes, I think how can we empathize instead of finger point?   Laura Dugger: (18:56 - 19:12) Oh, and you write about how to navigate intergenerational tensions. How can we practically turn our differences into superpowers and unite together? And I guess, especially in the church?   Dr. Kara Powell: (19:12 - 22:39) Yeah, yeah, great question. So, one of our books is called Three Big Questions That Change Every Teenager. And we studied young people to try to understand the deep questions driving them.   And we landed on three. Identity, who am I? Belonging, where do I fit? And purpose, what difference can I make?   Identity, belonging and purpose. And those are that's such a helpful framework to understand young people and to empathize with them.   First off, I would say all of us are wrestling with identity, belonging and purpose. And when I feel emotional heat about an issue, if I feel insecure about something, it's usually because it's pricking at my identity, belonging or purpose. And so, that helps us realize that we navigate those questions, too.   But then also for the we who are parents, stepparents, grandparents, mentors of young people, you know, if a young person we care about is doing something that feels a little odd, a little askew, a little bit, that's not like them. If we can take a step back and ask, OK, what are they wrestling with? Is it identity?   Is it belonging? Is it purpose? That helps us empathize and know how to either ask a better question or, you know, give a little bit of hope rooted in whether that's rooted in scripture or in our own experience.   And so, yes, with our with our three kids, when I take a step back and ask, OK, they're saying something that feels odd or unlike them or I'm surprised this is provoking this response in them. Is it is it their identity, belonging or purpose that's at play here? It's like the penny drops and I come to understand.   So, I would say, you know, if we can wear those identity, belonging and purpose lenses, that really helps us understand young people. The other thing and, you know, I'm a professor, so I would give myself about a C plus in what I'm going to share next. OK, so if this is something I'm working on, it's this it's never make a statement if you can ask a question instead, never make a statement if you can ask a question instead.   And so, the more that we can ask questions about what young people are experiencing, like why, why, you know, in a very nonjudgmental way, like I'm just curious. And I start a lot of my questions with that. I'm curious.   I'm curious, like what does tick tock mean to you? Then, you know, that that can open up a real conversation instead of them feeling like we're somehow judging them for their technological use. I was proud of myself yesterday.   Like I said, I give myself about a C plus on this. But yesterday I was talking to my daughter about something. And I asked her, like, well, because she had stepped up to lead something.   And so instead of offering my advice, I said to her, well, you know, what do you think you did well as you were leading? And is there anything that you would want to do differently? And we were in the line of a fast-food place.   And I thought, yes, way to go. I ask questions instead of making statements, instead of offering my opinion. So, and sometimes we have to offer our opinion, for sure.   But just as a general rule, we can ask questions, especially the older our kids get. They respond to that better than us always sharing what we think.   Laura Dugger: (22:39 - 22:47) Well, and I also think you're even modeling this in the way you share stories is humility. So, when you partner that together, that seems very powerful.   Dr. Kara Powell: (22:48 - 23:53) Yeah, yeah, absolutely. My one of my kids said something so interesting. At Mother's Day, my husband asked each of them to share something that they appreciated about me and which was wonderful to receive that affirmation.   And one of them and I I'm not going to reveal the gender here because I haven't asked this child permission to share this. But what my child said was that I was asking them for advice in a way that made it feel more like we were becoming friends. And I had asked this child for advice in the last couple of months about a couple situations.   And so, again, my kids are 19, 22 and 24. So, you know, it's different with younger kids. But for those of us with older kids, it was significant to this child of mine that I was asking them for advice.   And so, I want to keep doing that. I want to keep doing that. So, because I truly do want their perspective.   Yeah, I truly do want their perspective. And it means something to them when I do.   Laura Dugger: (23:54 - 25:28) Yes, absolutely. And I'm thinking back, this may have been like episode three back in 2018. But I talk with Annie Chapman.   She had written the book, The Mother-in-Law Dance. And what you're saying, she pointed out that what makes us a great parent and especially a great mother, the first half of our children's life or the first portion of our children's life at home, it's the opposite of the latter years. And so, you're right.   You're not probably going to ask your five-year-old for advice. But at your kids' phases, that is significant. Did you know you could receive a free email with monthly encouragement, practical tips and plenty of questions to ask to take your conversation a level deeper, whether that's in parenting or on date nights?   Make sure you access all of this at TheSavvySauce.com by clicking the button that says Join Our Email List so that you can follow the prompts and begin receiving these emails at the beginning of each month. Enjoy.    This discussion with young people is also tied into your recent and optimistic book.   So, I'll hold it up here. It's in and you did co-author this with Jake Mulder and Raymond Chang. So, it's entitled Future-Focused Church, and you begin with writing that the brightest days of the church are still ahead.   So, what led you to this optimistic realization?   Dr. Kara Powell: (25:28 - 26:23) Yeah. Yeah. Well, first, God, you know, this is where being a practical theologian comes into play.   Like I'm always trying to understand what is God up to in this situation and just the way that God is constantly working, redeeming, recreating. So, you know, that's the heart of my optimism and Jake and Ray's optimism as fellow co-authors. And then also Future-Focused Church is based on research we did with over a thousand churches where we journeyed with them in the change process and just the way that they were able to make changes that made them more loving, made them more hospitable to young people.   So, it's, you know, it's people like your listeners and churches like those that your audience is part of. That's what made us optimistic is to see how God is working through actual churches.   Laura Dugger: (26:25 - 26:40) I love that. And even near the beginning, it was on page 26, you succinctly gave a definition of a future-focused church. So, will you share that definition and also elaborate on each one of the facets?   Dr. Kara Powell: (26:40 - 29:17) Yeah, yeah. So, it starts with a group of Jesus followers. And, you know, if you look at the original Greek for church, ekklesia, it's not a building.   We use that phrase incorrectly when we say, you know, I'll meet you at church and we mean a building. It's actually those who are called out or from. So, it's always people in the New Testament.   And so, we believe a church is a group of Jesus followers who seek God's direction together. And that's really important to us is this isn't about what Kara, Jake and Ray think you should do or what the church down the street is doing or even what your denomination is doing. It's you seeking God's direction together.   So, and we could have stopped there, honestly, a group of Jesus followers who seek God's direction together. But then because of the time we've spent with over a thousand churches, because of our commitment to young people, because of what we see happening these days, we added three what we call checkpoints, three things that we think should be priorities for churches these days. One is relationally discipling young people.   And, you know, we were intentionally using the words relationally discipling. It's not just entertaining. It's not just standing near young people at worship service.   But how are we actually investing in young people? And then secondly, modeling kingdom diversity. Again, if you look at our country ethnically and racially, we are a diverse country.   And so, how can we model that? How can our churches reflect what our neighborhoods are? And then thirdly, tangibly loving our neighbors.   Jesus said that, you know, they will know that we are Christians by our love for another, for each other, as well as our love for neighbors. And so, how can we make sure that we are really a place that is salt and light? As I mentioned, you know, we are trying to be in Pasadena as churches these days as we're recovering from the fires.   So, we encourage churches to look at those three checkpoints in particular. But then again, we want churches to figure out what God is inviting them towards. So, maybe that's more prayer.   Maybe that's being more involved globally in evangelism, you know, whatever it might be. Seek that direction together. But then what we try to do is give a map to get there, because a lot of churches know what they want to change, but don't know how to bring about change.   And so, that's actually what the bulk of our book is about, is helping leaders know how to move their church from here to God's direction for them.   Laura Dugger: (29:18 - 30:27) And that's incredible that you walked with so many churches through that process. But I was especially encouraged by you being partial to sharing stories. And so, we recently did an entire stories series on The Savvy Sauce, and it was so compelling and faith building.   I can link to a sample of those in the show notes. But you write about stories shaping culture. And I just I want to share your quote and then ask you how we can actually implement this.   So, your quote is from page 57, where you write, “Organizational culture is best communicated and illustrated by stories. As well modeled by Jesus, one of the best ways to shift the culture of a church is through the disciplined and consistent telling of clear and compelling stories that invite a different culture and way of being.” So, Kara, how have you seen this done well?   Dr. Kara Powell: (30:27 - 33:10) Yeah, yeah. Well, I think about whatever system we're in, whether it's our families or whether it's our churches or whatever organization we're in. Yeah, our stories become really the key messages of what our culture is.   And so, I want to go back to that church that we were talking about that had a Google calendar and now does a Sunday announcement every week of kids' events. Well, that church is also capturing stories of the 81-year-old who showed up at the 16-year-old soccer game, who didn't even know her all that well, but just had a free Thursday afternoon and knew that she was playing. And the pastor who was also on the sidelines at that soccer game, who ended up talking to both the parents of the 16-year-old and the 81-year-old.   And so, that became a story for that church of how different generations are supporting young people. And so, that pastor has told that story multiple, multiple times. You know, I just think about in our family, our kids love hearing our stories.   And that's part of how they I mean, it's a big, a big theme and how they come to know what it means to be a Powell. So, you know, earlier I said, you know, I said, never make a statement if you can ask a question instead. I think the exception to that, Laura, is if we're going to tell a story because stories communicate so much.   One of our one of our children is struggling with being anxious about something. And I was anxious last night. I never lose sleep.   I so rarely lose sleep. But I did last night. I was up for about an hour and a half in the middle of the night, finally ended up having a prayer time.   And that helped me go back to sleep. But I'm looking forward to telling my child, who's also struggling with anxiety, that story of me experiencing some, you know, 3:00 a.m. anxiety and what eventually helped me is kind of reflecting on a mantra I feel like God's given me. And I want to share that with my child, not to nag them, but just to let them know that, you know, in our family, this is how we want to try to respond to anxiety.   And maybe my story can be helpful for you the next time that you're struggling with it, which might be today. So, so, yes, the more that we can share our present and our past experiences, whether it's as individuals, families, organizations, the more that we communicate the cultural values that we want.   Laura Dugger: (33:11 - 33:45) That's so good. And I love how you're relating that to parents as well, because from the very youngest ages, tell me a story. And if it's like if we remember a story of them when they're a child, they just grasp onto that.   And we when we're tired at the end of the night, if we run out of our stories, we love even just reading aloud true stories of other people, too. OK, and I'm partnering then thinking of stories and one of your facets about I love how you said it. I'd love for you to repeat. Is it strategically discipling, relationally discipling?   Dr. Kara Powell: (33:45 - 33:46) Yeah.   Laura Dugger: (33:46 - 35:03) OK, so my brother and sister's church, I'm just going to highlight theirs because I love something that both of them are doing with our nieces and nephews. They just have them, the youth, write down three names of somebody in a different generation above theirs that they would enjoy getting to know, spending time with. And then they get matched with one of those people and they enter a yearlong mentorship relationship.   And I'm just thinking, one, their mentors all happen to be open nesters. And the male and female who have mentored our nieces and nephews, the female took our nieces, would send them a copy of a recipe, say, get these groceries this week. I'm coming to your house on Tuesday and we're going to cook all of this together and have it ready for your family dinner.   Just so practical and that they just build a love for each other. And then a similar thing with our nephews, where whatever that mentor's skill was, he was great at even making, I think, wood fired pizzas and just showing them practical skills, but relationally investing. And you see the youth's growth and maturity from that discipleship.   Dr. Kara Powell: (35:03 - 36:17) So, yeah, that's awesome. And not only the young people, but the adults, too. Like what's been so great, Laura, is, you know, while much of our research has looked at how adults change young people and how churches change young people, every time we study that, we see how young people change adults and churches, too.   So, you know, for that male and female who are mentoring your nieces and nephews, how they come to understand more about themselves, God, life, scripture, as they're spending time with young people, that's just really, really powerful. So, I also want to highlight, I love how your example, how it starts by asking young people, like who are some adults that you would like to spend more time with that you look up to? And, you know, we would do that with our kids when we needed babysitters.   Like who are some adults that you would like to get to know and how wonderful then that we could ask those adults, especially if they were of babysitting age, to come and be with our kids. And that way we were getting the babysitting we needed and our kids were getting the mentoring that they needed. So, so, yes, I think, you know, giving a young person some agency and who they spend time with, that's really beautiful in that example.   Laura Dugger: (36:18 - 36:21) Oh, that's and that's genius for a family life.   Dr. Kara Powell: (36:21 - 36:22) Yeah, exactly, exactly.   Laura Dugger: (36:23 - 36:39) Well, you also share some other helpful tips for churches, such as considering questions like, would anyone miss our church if it closed down? So, do you have any other practical tips that you want to make sure we don't miss?   Dr. Kara Powell: (36:39 - 40:19) Yeah, yeah. I think, yeah, I'll offer a few questions that we have found really helpful. And I'll start with questions when your kids are in elementary and then I'll give a couple of questions when your kids are older.   So, so one of the questions that we love asking at dinner when our kids were in elementary was, how did you see God at work today? And I will say that when I first raised that question, one of my daughters said, “Well, mommy, I can't answer that question. And I said, why not?”   She said, “Well, I don't have a job. How did you see God at work today? So, then we had to say, well, how did you see God working today?”   And I, you know, and equally important as our kids asking that question is that we were, excuse me, as our kids answering that question is that we were answering that question. And so, so, you know, any way that you can involve meaningful sharing, whether it's a dinner, whether it's a bedtime and that you are sharing, too. So, so that that's been a great one for our family.   And then when your kids get older, a couple come to mind. One is two pairs of questions actually come to mind. One is, you know, the phrase never make a statement.   Maybe you can ask the question said sometimes we do need to offer our advice as parents, our perspective. And I have found when I do that with my kids is now that they're late young adults, if I ask them first, well, what do you disagree with and what I said and give them an opportunity to critique what I said, then and then I ask a second question. OK, well, what might you agree with and what I said?   They're far more open to sharing what they agree with if they first have had a chance to critique me. So, I offer that as in those moments when you do need to offer your opinion or perspective, how can we still make it a dialogue? One way is to invite your kid to critique you.   And they'll probably point out things that you do need to reconsider, or at least it's good to hear those from your young person. Another pair of questions that that I have found so helpful with our kids is as they get older and really come to own their own faith. I love asking our kids, what do you now believe that you think I don't believe?   And what do you no longer believe that you think I still believe? So, what do you now believe that you think I don't believe? And what do you no longer believe that you think I still believe?   What I love about that is that it's making overt that our faith is going to continue to change and grow. And that's true for all of us. And it also makes differences discussable, because I'd far rather know how my kids' faith is changing and how it's different or similar than mine than not know.   And, you know, as we've asked our kids those questions over the years, sometimes their answer is like, not much has changed. Like, you know, but other times they do have different opinions that they want to share with me. And then I try to have that non-defensive, oh, OK, well, I'm curious.   Then again, starting phrase with I'm curious and then asking a question has given us some of the best conversations. So, you can get really tangible. How did you see God at work today?   But then as your kids get older, ask questions that that are more open-ended and can help you really understand where your kids are at.   Laura Dugger: (40:20 - 41:15) I love that.    And I'm just thinking if people are listening like I listen to podcasts, it's when I'm on the go, when I'm doing a walk in the morning or if I'm cleaning around the house. And if you don't get a chance to take notes, we do have transcripts available now for all these episodes, but I would think so many people have written in about dialogue and questions for teenagers and how to handle.   And I love the way you responded to all of that. So, even grab the transcript and write down those questions and try them at dinner or bedtime tonight. But then even thinking of churches for practical tips, what do you have as far as hospitality and the impact that it could make if we're building relationships through hospitality?   But you also call out three ways to build relationships through sharing meals, sharing stories and sharing experiences.   Dr. Kara Powell: (41:15 - 43:08) Yeah, absolutely. You know, I think you've named it, Laura. How do we have a hospitable, open heart and open churches?   And I just want to go back to this question. Like, is our church a place that our kids and our grandkids would want to be part of? And if we keep asking that question, I think it helps us prioritize the next generation and make space for them at our meals, within our stories and within our experiences.   Now, I will say this, you know, I talk so much about intergenerational relationships and bringing the generations together. Like, I do think there's a time and a place for 16-year-olds to be on their own and 46-year-olds to be on their own and 76-year-olds to be on their own. It's just finding that balance of when do we bring all the generations together?   And then when do we want to have those special life development, life stage development conversations ourselves? And most churches are swinging far more toward we keep generations separate and need to swing the pendulum back to how can we have shared meals together? How can we serve together in ways that are shared?   And, you know, I'll just say this last thought when it comes to sharing experiences, especially those that are service. You know, a lot of churches have young people who are serving. They're in children's ministry, they're in sound, they're in tech, etc.   And that's awesome. And I think the question becomes, like, how can that young person be more than just a warm body who passes out graham crackers? And how can I think, OK, I'm teaching third graders and I'm also trying to mentor this 15-year-old who's working with me with the third graders and same with sound.   So, you know, anytime you're interacting with young people, it's an opportunity to influence, especially as you're sharing more about yourself.   Laura Dugger: (43:10 - 43:15) Love that. And you seem like an idea person as well. So, I'm going to bounce another idea.   Dr. Kara Powell: (43:16 - 43:16) Yeah.   Laura Dugger: (43:16 - 43:45) What I'm gathering is obviously we're keeping Jesus at the center and you're not downplaying the need for scripture or Bible study. And those kind of things but also adding there is value in I'm thinking shared experience. Specifically, I'm thinking of pickleball.   It's something that appeals to a wide age range. What if your church had invested in a pickleball sport to do something that could bring people together? So, what are your thoughts on that?     Dr. Kara Powell: (43:45 - 45:22) Yeah. Yeah. Pickleball, you know, senior adults who need tech help from teenagers.   That's another great way to connect people. I mean, any kind of shared interest 1 Thessalonians 2:8 is such an important scripture passage for me when it comes to discipleship. And Paul writes that we were delighted to share with you not just the gospel, but our very lives.   And so, how can we share life, whether it's pickleball, whether it's pizza? I'm running out of alliteration here. I was trying to do something else that started with P.   And for leaders who are listening, how can you take what you're already doing and make it more intergenerational? So, that's the other thing we like to tell churches is whether it's pickleball or whether it's well, we're already serving at the local homeless center to help people who are unhoused. Well, instead of that only being a youth event, maybe make that an all church event and see if adults come who can be mentoring young people.   So, you know, I love what one church did. Many churches have done this, actually, when they're looking for small group for homes where small groups can be for young people instead of going to like the parents of the teenagers. What if we go to our senior adults or our open or slash empty nesters and see if they'll open their homes?   Because then it's bringing more adults into contact with young people. And those adults who open their homes can also open their lives. So, yeah, just continuing to ask, how can we make this more of a connection across generations?   Goodness.   Laura Dugger: (45:22 - 45:39) And you have so many ideas and some of these are mentioned in this book, but you've also written many more helpful resources. So, will you give us an overview of the other books that you've authored and share a bit of what we might find if we read? Dr. Kara Powell: (45:39 - 46:42) Yeah. So, our most recent book, as you've mentioned, is Future Focus Church, and that's especially geared to help leaders know how to move a ministry from where they are now to where God wants it to be. It's been so great to journey with leaders through that.   Probably our best book that offers a ton of questions you can ask young people is Three Big Questions That Change Every Teenager, where we get into identity, belonging and purpose, which I mentioned. And we have over 300 questions that an adult, whether it's a family member or a mentor or a neighbor or congregant can use with young people. And then the last one I'll offer is The Sticky Faith Guide for Your Family comes out of our previous Sticky Faith research.   How do you help young people have faith that lasts? We have a special chapter in that book for grandparents. So, for any grandparents who are listening, that whole book and that chapter is a great resource.   But also we have had a lot of parents, stepparents say that The Sticky Faith Guide for Your Family has been one of their favorite books.   Laura Dugger: (46:43 - 47:02) That's incredible. I'll have to link to those in the show notes for today's episode. But I'm sure you're aware we are called The Savvy Sauce because Savvy is anonymous with practical knowledge.   And so, as my final question for you today, what is your Savvy Sauce?   Dr. Kara Powell: (47:03 - 48:16) That's a really good question, Laura. OK, I'll say I'll share the first thing that came to mind when you asked it. Gosh, probably 10 or 12 years ago, I read a book and from the book I adapted a phrase for my work life and my personal life, which is if it's not a definite yes, it's a no.   As a busy mom, as a busy employee, as a busy leader, I see potential in so many things. And so, I want to say yes to so many things. And then I end up tired.   I end up empty. I end up not being able to say yes to something maybe better that comes a month later because I've already committed to, you know, plan my seventh graders camping trip or give a talk or, you know, whatever it might be. And so, that phrase, we made it a six-month experiment in the Foley Youth Institute as well as in our family.   Like it's not a definite yes, it's a no. And it really helped us say no to things, trim and I think find a much more manageable pace. So, as we pray, as we pray, it's not a definite yes, it's a no.   That's been game changing for me.   Laura Dugger: (48:17 - 48:57) Well, I love how much you've modeled applying these things at your work or in our church, but also in our family life. It's all transferable. And Kara, this has just been a super special conversation because you've been on my list to have a conversation with for over a decade, probably since I got my hands on Sticky Faith.   And I just appreciate we've been talking as we were praying before we were recording. You desire so much, not only for young people, but for all people to experience this abundant life in Christ. And I'm so grateful for you and just want to say thank you for being my guest.   Dr. Kara Powell: (48:57 - 49:03) Oh, my pleasure, Laura. And thanks to you and how you serve your audience as well as our world. It's been an honor.   Laura Dugger: (49:04 - 52:19) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.    Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.    We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.    That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.    This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.    Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.    And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.    First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.    You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.    We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.    And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.    And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

Pat Helmandollar didn't plan to own a salon for three decades in Cornelius. After running successful salons in West Virginia for 15 years, she moved to Lake Norman to be closer to family. A serendipitous opportunity arose when Haircuttery wanted out of a Lake Norman location.That was October 1995. Savvy Salon and Day Spa became the area's first full-service day spa, offering hair, nails, massage, skincare, and more.Pat's success came from personal connections. She built her business through Welcome Wagon house calls, community involvement, and word-of-mouth—long before social media existed.Her advice for aspiring entrepreneurs? "Don't go into it to make money, go into it as a passion. The money will come." She also stresses having strong family support, noting her husband handles bookkeeping and her daughter helps run operations.Savvy celebrates 30 years on October 11th with week-long specials, prizes, and half-price services on the 11th.Savvy Salon & Day Spa20430 W Catawba Ave SUITE 2Cornelius, NC 28031---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Lake Norman's #1 Podcast & Email NewsletterThe Best of LKNhttps://thebestoflkn.com/Hosted by:Jeff Hammwww.lknreal.comProduced by:www.epicjourneymedia.com Thanks to Safe harbor Peninsula Yacht Club for their support!Support the show

It's raining, it's pouring, what vital business intelligence are you ignoring? The next explosive area of business opportunity and risk may well be weather forecasting.  The opportunity will accrue to those owners and entrepreneurs who understand that a new era of meteorology has dawned and view weather forecasting as an inextricable form of business intelligence. The risk is that myopic executives may cling to the mistaken notion that weather forecasts — “notoriously inaccurate” — are only about what to wear, how the morning commute might be impacted, and if they should bring along an umbrella when the go outside. In his new book, Cloud Warriors: Deadly Storms, Climate Chaos―and the Pioneers Creating a Revolution in Weather Forecasting, veteran journalist Thomas E. “Tom” Weber debunks two prevalent myths: 1.) That weather forecasts are frequently way off, and 2.) That the weather doesn't have an impact on almost every company, directly or indirectly. Tom is the former executive editor at TIME who oversaw the magazine's cover stories and feature journalism. Earlier in his career, he served as a technology reporter, columnist, and bureau chief at The Wall Street Journal. Powered by artificial intelligence, machine learning, and the internet of things, weather forecasting — even micro forecasts confined to small geographic areas — has become vastly more accurate. Importantly, better forecasting saves lives by correctly predicting threatening hurricanes, tornadoes, wildfires, and floods well in advance and preventing catastrophic damage to vital infrastructure. Savvy companies — big and small — are already investing in weather intelligence, and the imperative for those who have yet to get on board will only grow in the years ahead. [Be sure to visit Tom Weber's website here.] Monday Morning Radio is hosted by the father-son duo of Dean and Maxwell Rotbart. Photo: Thomas E. Weber, Cloud Warriors: Deadly Storms, Climate Chaos―and the Pioneers Creating a Revolution in Weather ForecastingPosted: October 6,, 2025 Monday Morning Run Time: 1 hour and 3 minutes Episode: 14.18 POPULAR EPISODES: Bulk Up Your Business Muscles with These Proven Retail Strategies Discover the Unlimited Power of Mastering Intentions: How You Can Transform Your Professional and Personal Life Marcy Syms Shares the Legacy and Lessons of Her Family's Pioneering Fashion Chain

Kiera is joined by Dr. Lauryn Brunclik (of She Slays the Day podcast fame) to take a good hard look at clinician burnout, different sides of the working mindset coin, generational styles of work, and so much more. Episode resources: Subscribe to The Dental A-Team podcast Schedule a Practice Assessment Leave us a review Transcript: Kiera Dent (00:00) Hello, Dental A Team listeners. This is Kiera. And today I am so excited about our guest that's going to be on the podcast with me today. She is incredible. We're going to be talking about all things burnout, how to avoid it, how to just like live your best life. And so I have Dr. Lauryn Brunclik. She's an entrepreneur, chiropractor, business coach, podcast host, wife, mother, and sought-after speaker known for her high energy. You guys know that this is why I like her. mean, we're birds of the same feather, straightforward attitude and ability to make people laugh while discovering their truth.   In 2010, she founded Blue Hills Chiropractic building into a thriving seven figure practice. But after years of relentless hustle, she found herself overworked, tied to her clinic and craving more freedom. Dentist, can you relate? Now you see why I brought her on here. Now you can see why I want her here. ⁓ she truly is very similar to all of you out there. She was determined to create a business that worked for her, not the other way around. Lauryn built multiple revenue streams, streamlined her operations and reclaimed her time without sacrificing income.   She took that passion and launched She Slays the Day, a podcast helping professionals and clinic owners break free from burnout by creating multiple revenue streams, recleaning time and building financial and lifestyle freedom. So welcome to the show, Lauryn. How are you today?   Dr. Lauryn B (01:07) Thank you. As you   were reading that is so funny because like in this world of virtual assistants and AI, I'm always like, what bio is she reading? And I'm like kind of holding my breath like, ⁓ and I'm like, okay, yep, that's true. That's true. this is good. I did really get sad and burnt up. It's like, I just went on a journey with you while you're reading my bio.   Kiera Dent (01:25) Usually both.   You and me both. was on a podcast the other day and I had the exact same feeling because they were reading my bio and I was like, huh, I'm super curious. Like which bio did you get? And wow, yeah, like I did just get to go down memory lane. but   Dr. Lauryn B (01:40) You're   like, that's a good bio. Good job, AI. Good job. Which is like always waiting for like the wrong thing where it's like, no, I didn't do a stint as a clown or anything. No, that's not true. That's not true. So.   Kiera Dent (01:49) Exactly.   I, Shelbi got us connected and I was super excited and you know, I was looking up on it and she's like, here, I think you and Lauryn are going to have the best time on the podcast. She's like, you two are birds of the same feather, the high energy, the tactical, the like we talk about it's like life on purpose and business on purpose and not having it to where it's the other way around. I say all the time, like your business should be working for you, not the other way around. It should be supporting your life. So I'm just super jazzed. So Lauryn.   Dr. Lauryn B (02:04) Mm.   Kiera Dent (02:17) I mean, that was a great bio. agree like kudos to AI, virtual assistant, whomever wrote it for you. Kudos to you for living that actual bio and being the human on the other side of that. So anything else you want to add? I mean, we're here today to chat shop. We're here to ⁓ share with your audience, our audience, and just really collaborate together and talk about some things that you're super passionate about and that I am too.   Dr. Lauryn B (02:22) Right.   Yeah, so I think that one of the things is that, you you kind of address of like, I think you probably typically have more dentists on   of thing and your audience is like, wait, what's happening? So I started as a coach for chiropractors, you   Kiera Dent (02:51) you   Dr. Lauryn B (02:56) this is, I see this a lot of what we do ⁓ as especially high achieving people, you know, we spend a lot of money and time getting this degree. And then we kind of, when we start to get   bored, burnt out, ADHD, whatever it is in our career where there's this kind of a couple years in and you're like, wait, is this on repeat? What we tend to do is we repurpose our current knowledge set. And so it's like, I have this degree in this, so I'm gonna start a podcast for those people, right? And so that was kind of my experience too. She Slays the Day started as a podcast for chiropractors.   But then I started to realize like as we were having these conversations and you you're just networking, you're meeting. And I started to talk to dentists and veterinarians and you know, realizing like, ⁓ you guys deal with the same shit we do? I had an ENT on a private practice, ENT ⁓ on the podcast, on my podcast because I was following him on Instagram because he was hilarious, but I was like.   Kiera Dent (03:51) Yeah.   Dr. Lauryn B (04:02) you're dealing with the same stuff we do. And ultimately, that's kind of where I expanded in 2023 to be more for healthcare providers outside the traditional hospital system, because it's like, none of us learned business. Like, we, while we were doing anatomy and infectious disease and all of this stuff, there were people outside in the college getting like MBAs and entire business degrees.   Kiera Dent (04:18) Exactly.   Dr. Lauryn B (04:31) And we didn't take a single class. we just, there's such this atmosphere of shameful entrepreneurship. What I mean by that is like, especially within chiropractic, and I've talked to vets and dentists as well, that's like, well, if you're not gonna own your own clinic, are you even like really that good? And so there's this forced entrepreneurship in a society where only 10 % of   Kiera Dent (04:54) Mm-hmm.   Dr. Lauryn B (05:01) people truly have the grit and resilience for the shit show that is ⁓ entrepreneurship. But you have like 80 to 90 % of a profession going into it. And so it's just so natural that it's like, we didn't learn this stuff. It's so natural that burnout is such a common thing. So that's where really it's like, I've realized that like, yeah, I promise you that the same stuff we're dealing with, you're dealing with too because I've had these conversations.   Kiera Dent (05:13) Right.   Amen. And it's actually funny, and I didn't mention this prior, but we actually consulted a chiropractic office and we've consulted eye clinics and ⁓ optometrists and we've gone into CPA clinic firms. And I realized business is business is business and healthcare business is very similar. I think we do ⁓ outside of mainstream medicine, which is our chiropractic, our vets, our dentists.   We're not in the hospital setting. We have more of that autonomy to have our own practices and our own businesses and I agree with you. It is a I think I think the memes out there with business ownership are so accurate the ones where you're on a roller coaster and they're like it's the highs and the lows the ones we're like holding on for dear life and you're like giggling and then crying all within a matter of seconds and I'm like that is the role that is the realm and so that's why I really wanted us to collaborate together Lauryn to talk about because   What you see in chiropractic, what I see in dentistry, what we see across the board of these incredible clinicians. like you, go to school, you learn, you, you have all this experience in this knowledge. And like you said, It does not train you to be a business owner. yet also, like you said, it's well, why not? Like, and I think that that is kind of the, it's like for team members, like you want to graduate to be the office manager. You want to be the regional manager. You want to get to that level. Like that's where you like it. There's a ladder ascension. And I think in business ownership and with   Like you wanted to be a chiropractor because you wanted to help people. You wanted to be a dentist because you want to help people. You want to be a vet because you want to help people. You want to be an ENT because you want to help people. But it's, think that there's this unsaid natural ladder that people feel there's a push to go for a business ownership when it's like, but I just want to be a clinician. I just wanted to, to do my craft, but I also wanted to do it my way. And that's where I think the business ownership vibe comes in. But you're right. It's, it's stressful, not having profits, not having   understanding cashflow, not understanding how to run teams. Like awful.   Dr. Lauryn B (07:20) The number of people,   doc, clinic owners that have been in practice for 10 plus years that I am teaching what profit margins are and what is healthy and how to calculate it is astounding. It's like, So, you know, I think that ultimately when you, you know, the different personality types, you know, when they find themselves in practice,   Kiera Dent (07:31) Yes. Yes.   Yes.   Dr. Lauryn B (07:46) I feel like they almost burn out for two completely different reasons. So let's say that you have, know, so 80 % of humans are just more meant to be more like caregivers, supporter roles. I would guess that that's even higher in someone who's called into healthcare, right? That like, they went into this, believe me, if you are about to decide what you should do with your life and you are like, I'm an entrepreneur and I wanna be.   Kiera Dent (08:05) Mm-hmm.   Dr. Lauryn B (08:15) rich. Do not go into chiropractic. Do not go into dentistry. There is so much easier ways to make money. like 99 point whatever percent of people are called to this profession in healthcare because they want to serve. So let's say you start your clinic. There's a good chance you're going to burn out from one of two reasons. One, you don't want to run a clinic. You truly   And that's what's burning you out, is that you're just like, I am here for the patients. I want to pour into the patients and I want to serve and I want to do that. But like, I have to hire another front desk person? Didn't we just do that last year? I don't know what the ad should say. I don't know what we should pay them. Or like there's office drama and you're like, I have to create a SOP on that, what? And so that will burn you out because so much of being the CEO and the clinic owner is like,   pulling you away from patient care. So you either have to divide your patient care down or in half so you have time and now you're spending half of your time not doing what you wanna do or you just pile on the admin stuff on top of it so you're working 60 hours a week. So that person, obviously they burn out. Now the other one is I think a much more, like is much more my personal story and I'm so curious as to like why you started the podcast, why you started doing what you're doing but like.   Kiera Dent (09:30) Mm-hmm. Right.   Dr. Lauryn B (09:43) So this is, I was not someone that like was a natural entrepreneur. Like I never would have, you there's certain people you hear these stories where they're like, I'm kindergarten. was like, you know, I'm like, no, that wasn't me. Like I had no idea until really after I, you know, I started my practice, but that was out of convenience. Cause there was no job. Like I had kids and like somewhere along the line, the entrepreneurship bug just got me.   Kiera Dent (09:56) Hahaha!   Dr. Lauryn B (10:13) And then all of a sudden, that's what I wanted to be doing. Like I wanted to be scaling, looking at marketing strategy, looking at like growth projections, creating higher, like I wanted to do that. But then like Barb needs me in a room too. And I'm like, like I love, okay, I like serving. Yes, yes, yes. But like I really.   Kiera Dent (10:36) Yeah.   Dr. Lauryn B (10:41) This is what was exciting to me. And so then, and this is where I'll kind of like be vulnerable and share my story, because I know from stage that this helps people, people see this, but it's embarrassing to admit, but the patient care became boring. The patient care became repetitive. Like in the beginning, you're like, ⁓ how do I fix this? And like, you're not getting results, how do I do that? And it was this problem, like new problems to solve.   But once you've been doing it, five, seven years, I mean, for everybody it's different, you're kind of like, I can do that on autopilot. And it wasn't challenging a part of my brain that wanted to solve new problems. And so there was a lot of shame and guilt that came with, because at this point, I've been in practice seven years. I'm in my early 30s. Okay, well, you're doing this for the next 30 years. And I was like, I can't.   Kiera Dent (11:38) Right.   Dr. Lauryn B (11:39) can't do this for the next 30 years. And so that's just like, whichever side a clinic owner sees themself in, like, you you're not safe on either. You have to figure out burnout on either side, but ⁓ they're completely different reasonings. And I think understanding what, why are you feeling that burnout is really important.   Kiera Dent (12:04) Yeah, I love that you talked about both sides of the coin because I think there's guilt at least from what I see working with dentists working at myself. They actually got like I've heard I don't know like where this is coined but it's like the seven year itch or stitch like there's like you just kind of get into this and some people get it at five years some people get it at 10 years but there is ⁓ I also love Tony Robbins when he says like progress equals happiness.   Dr. Lauryn B (12:20) Mm-hmm.   Kiera Dent (12:29) And so if we're not progressing and some people love it, they love the autopilot of patient care is easy for me. But like when you first get out of school, all of that is hard. It's a puzzle. You're progressing. You've got to figure out how do you navigate and get patients to say yes to treatment? How do I run my books? Like how, like there's so much how, how, how to, how do I like serve my patients better? How do I make this for dentists? It's like, do I make that perfect crown margin? Like, how do get that perfect? I imagine in chiropractor, I'm actually a chiropractor.   all the time. I love her. She's incredible. We do talk business often. She's a fee for service. And I'm like, let's talk shop on like going fee for service versus in network, like, just like dentists, right, the fee for service versus in network. And it's how can I make this body like looking at people that have weird symptoms and trying to figure out how can I fix that? Like, I know there's a way to fix this long term. ⁓ But also the like annoyance of running a business and also be like,   need for growth. I really love and I never thought about those two sides of the coin until you mentioned that of that really is what causes people to stress. And I think that there is guilt on both sides. I think there's guilt of I want to be with patient care and I don't want to run the business, but I know I have to like, this is kind of the, the card I signed up for. And then the other side of I want to leave the chair. I had a dentist the other day and one of our masterminds say to me, I only want to work two or three days, but I feel guilty because my team's working five days. And I was like,   Dr. Lauryn B (13:52) That's   a really common one.   Kiera Dent (13:54) so good. And the great news is you built the business, like you provided them the job, like you've created that. That does not mean you need to stay in the day to day, five days a week, like whatever is best for you as the business owner and creator. And that can shift and morph. But there is a lot of guilt. I think that that creates, like you said, a lot of shaming and thanks for being vulnerable on that because I think so many people can relate to that. I think when people are listening, they're like, yes, yes. Like, I feel either side of that and   I think people don't know how to get out of it. So instead it's just this like, let me keep doing the same. ⁓ let me listen to other podcasts. Let me see if other people are like me. And I'm sure it's the same in chiropractic dentistry. say that it's like this isolated Island and I'm so grateful for podcasts. I'm grateful for communities, but I still think people feel that way because you're day in day out in your own clinic, in your own practice by yourself, even though you maybe know there's a few other islands out there that are maybe similar to you. ⁓ but I think it's such a, I think that's also business too.   Dr. Lauryn B (14:36) Mm-hmm.   Kiera Dent (14:52) I don't think it's just being ⁓ a provider in your own practice. I business entrepreneurs feel this way as well, like, how can everybody else figure this out? And I don't feel like I can. ⁓   Dr. Lauryn B (15:00) And you have no idea that they haven't figured it out. I was at   a seven figure female mastermind a month ago. so it's all seven figure females all over the board, as far as like industry striving to get to eight figures. And like, there were so many moments at this retreat that every single person just felt like their business was duct taped together. And it's just like, everybody's just doing their   Kiera Dent (15:07) you   Dr. Lauryn B (15:29) absolute damn best. And so it is really, ⁓ but you know, I wonder how much of how much of this burnout conversation has to do with like generational differences. You know, like, I'm assuming that you are a millennial. Yeah. And yeah, I know, we really are the best. really are. Don't tell everybody else, but we are the best generation. ⁓   Kiera Dent (15:46) Mm-hmm. Yep. I like the emojis. I'm here for all the millennial vibes. Like, I'm here for all of them. I feel like I really fit it.   Dr. Lauryn B (15:59) And so I will point this out on stage a lot because when you're talking, giving continuing ed, you'll have a lot of, Gen X is still in the workforce. Like they are still here. from the time I was in school up until like the last couple of years, they really were a lot of the stage presence at conferences.   Kiera Dent (16:12) Mm-hmm.   Yes.   Dr. Lauryn B (16:28) And so you being a millennial would sit and really just get advice, business success, career advice through the lens of Gen X. And why that's something that we just have to be aware of is like each generation has a very different script that they have downloaded, like they've just absorbed kind of.   automatically without putting too much thought into, know, it's just like the culture of their generation. And Gen X was like, shut up, don't complain about it. There is work life balance. Like your career is the most important thing. Like raising your kids, like you have a spouse for that and you will enjoy your life once you have accumulated enough money.   And if you've done it right, that'll happen by your like 60, between 60 and 65. But the goal is to hustle, hustle, hustle, accumulate, accumulate, accumulate at all costs. You can enjoy your life if you need a second, if you need to get a divorce and you just get a new spouse in your sixties, that's what like, and so like not trying to give them shit or anything. Their work ethic is phenomenal. My favorite employees are Gen X. Yeah. Yeah.   Kiera Dent (17:41) I always love to hire them. I was like, perfect, come on in, you're gonna work forever. Like, it's great, amazing.   Dr. Lauryn B (17:47) So they're great. But then like we come in and you know, I know that in chiropractic now 50 % of graduates are females. Do you know what that is in dentistry?   Kiera Dent (17:58) Dentistry   actually tipped over. There's more females that are graduating than there are men. It just recently tipped this scale, which I was quite impressed by, which is awesome. So it's exciting.   Dr. Lauryn B (18:09) It's so cool,   but we're kind of screwed because we as millennials, we're not going to not have children. We're not going to delegate that completely to somebody else. I mean, my husband, I'm definitely the primary breadwinner in my husband's profession or career has like molded to what our family needs are, but like.   Kiera Dent (18:13) Mm-hmm.   Dr. Lauryn B (18:35) So we're not gonna do that, we're not gonna do that, like we're not gonna give up our career. And so it's not like we're complaining about work-life balance, it's just a necessity. We're like, no, no, no, it's not like I'm like, like I, it's like, no, this isn't I want to raise my child, it's I have a child, I have to raise them also and the business. And so like we're trying to figure out, like, well, I can't follow that script.   Kiera Dent (18:47) Right.   Dr. Lauryn B (19:05) that script that we saw from stage for so long is just like, that's not gonna work for me. we're trying, that's why everything feels duct taped together is because we actively reject it. We were given a script to follow, like work six days a week, just do it. And we're like, nah, I don't want that. And it's like, okay, well then we're literally creating a new path. And so to any millennial, I would say like, if it just feels   Kiera Dent (19:15) Mm-hmm.   Dr. Lauryn B (19:34) messy, this probably isn't a youth thing. This is like, are truly carving a brand new way to do things, which we're kind of wasting our time because Gen Z is coming in like, no, I'm not doing that either. And we're like, we're fixing this for you. And they're like two months into their, yeah, they're like two months into their profession and like, ooh, 30 hours a week? That's not gonna work for me.   Kiera Dent (19:44) was going to say, they're coming right behind. Exactly.   They're like, no, no, no, no. We see that. We're not doing that either.   Yeah, not happening.   No, they're like, I could be a YouTube, like I could I could do all these different things. I can be an influencer for like five hours a week and make way more than you are not here for that.   Dr. Lauryn B (20:10) And you're like, well,   I don't know how to solve this for you.   Kiera Dent (20:13) they're like AI,   why are guys like still doing stuff yourselves? Like, no, we're gonna have robots to do all this stuff for us. Like, absolutely not. It's incredible. Like, good. But I don't disagree with you. I think it's ⁓ and as you said that I thought about how agreed and I think every generation actually makes it better from the last and I do agree that ⁓ I don't know, I started thinking about it. This struck me about probably, I don't know, eight years ago. And I'm like,   Dr. Lauryn B (20:20) He probably will. Like, damn it.   Kiera Dent (20:42) my gosh, like people used to get married because they needed to be married. Like you used to have to have like a husband and a wife to be able to have kids. And I'm like, you don't need that anymore. There's IVF, there's ⁓ different things that you can do. You do not need anybody anymore to live the life you want to live. It's very much becoming this like self ability. But I'm like, our parents couldn't do that. I mean, women even coming to the forefront to be able to have businesses.   to own land in our name. Like that has not been a long change and shift for women to be here. And then I also think that there's a whole dynamic for women as well coming into this scene. Like you said, they are coming in there. We're, having stronger professions. are being stronger business owners. We're like the kid having children is being delayed much longer in life. And so I do think it's a, a walking through and not understanding like where are we even supposed to go? Because what we've seen as the model isn't the model for us anymore.   like that doesn't work. Our lives look different. I mean, my mom, didn't work a lot of my friends moms didn't work or if they did, they worked at the schools or they didn't work like high level powered careers, a lot of them and I'm so excited that women are coming into the workforce and because there's so much talent and beauty. But I do think that there's a whole dynamic and for men too. think that the whole shifting like you said, a lot of women are becoming breadwinners. They do.   Dr. Lauryn B (21:41) Mm-hmm.   yeah, they want to be dads. Like that's the   thing too is like, they're like, hey, I just cause I'm a dude doesn't mean like I'm okay with missing my kid's childhood. It truly is a generational shift.   Kiera Dent (22:11) Exactly   Exactly. And so I think I just through all of it, I think you're highlighting what makes me excited. And the reason I'm just like jazzed about this today is it's normal. It's okay. And there's solutions around it. And also, I think just aha moments of, my gosh, like maybe this is why. And I do agree. Generations behind the millennials, you're probably giggling at our conversation right here. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you guys don't even know what you're talking about. But I think like we're in it. Exactly.   Dr. Lauryn B (22:41) Hey, we say you don't know what you're talking about.   Kiera Dent (22:44) I'm like, but we're in it and there has to be a solution here.   Dr. Lauryn B (22:44) Hey! I have the microphone.   Kiera Dent (22:48) Who's on this podcast and who's listening? All right. I think when I look at that, I'm like, but for millennials, think that they're, and most generations probably feel this. think we're a taffy stretch between one way of thinking and a new way of thinking. And we're kind of that like middle child syndrome right now where we really are trying to carve that new path that's making it easier for other generations behind us to see easier modalities.   But I do think that that kind of tug of war, I mean, I feel it, you felt it. We've had our personal experiences through it. We see people, we coach people through this, we work with people. But I also think in a way life has become easier to learn. I don't know how you feel. And like easier with air quotes, meaning there's so many things that do things for us. Like washer and dryers were so great for our parents' generations. But I'm like, for us, we now have, like you said at the beginning, we have AI that's writing bios for us. We've got virtual assistants that are doing it.   There's ways, like you said, there's easier ways to make money outside of just doing your day in, day out, eight to five job now. There's different ways that we can build retirement. There's ways like the Airbnb market and having real estate investments. Like there's so many different ways that I feel like wealth is oftentimes easier to achieve. But I think with that, because there's so many things and not to say that it's perfectly easy, but I think as we conquer in life, just like the washer and dryer, the cell phone, like those things were conquering big problems.   Google coming in and the internet taking over, those conquered a lot of challenges. I think so much of today's challenge, and I don't know how you feel, Lauryn. This is like Kiera going off on her own soapbox. I feel like you said so much of it now is our mind and that space of centeredness, of balance, ⁓ not having to work all the time. I think a lot of jobs have shifted from labor jobs to mental labor jobs. So we're not having as much physical.   Dr. Lauryn B (24:32) Hmm.   Kiera Dent (24:35) Like you said, patient care can be a lot of just like mindless. I miss the days sometimes of being a dental assistant, sitting there and having like hours of time to dream of all these ideas to where now I feel like I wish and crave for that quietness that my mind never gets anymore. And so I feel like even with some of those shifts and how we work and how our family needs are in the necessities of family dynamics in, we don't need to work clear up to 65, but people are able to retire now at 35, 40. And then it's like, now what, what am I supposed to do? So also then finding your purpose in life.   I think you combine all that into a cluster storm and voila, welcome to millennial dilemma. Like, you know, we can coin that of what do people do? How do they, how do they exist? And I think the future generations coming will have even more of this at more grand scale. So it's like, let's have conversations of how do we prevent that burnout? How do we have the conversations about not working in like having nothing left to give to our families of having that balance? Like you said, if I want to run the business and I want to progress, but I also want to be a human at the same time.   So Lauryn, think you're more the expert at this than I am. I'm just here for the like great conversations and talking it through because I think it's such a necessary conversation that now is starting to really bubble to the surface out of necessity and also out of curiosity and also out of like desire to fix this and not have it be our day in day out norm anymore.   Dr. Lauryn B (25:54) Yeah, well, so I'm gonna say another kind of controversial thing then. ⁓ So you touched on it and like with any time, we don't love, as care providers, we don't wanna come across as greedy, right? And so what we end up doing is like, we'll just be like, it would be great to be wealthy, but like not too much, like I don't need to be rich, and you didn't do this or anything like this, but like.   Kiera Dent (25:57) Ready, I love this.   Dr. Lauryn B (26:22) other people is just like, yeah, I would like to make a little more money. ⁓ so part of my story, ⁓ I'll give you the very short version, was ⁓ we had our most successful revenue year ever. And it was with like the least amount of money I had taken home in like seven years. Yeah, yeah, we call this payroll bloat. You need to fix your pricing structure so we could talk about pricing increases.   Kiera Dent (26:42) Happens all the time, all the time.   Dr. Lauryn B (26:50) And so like I'm a cash clinic. So like this was my own fault. This was, I set my prices and I just did a bad job at it. And so part of like, if when people are like, well, how did you like, were you burnt out? And I was like, yeah, I was burnt out at like 32. And you're like, are you burnt out? I'm like, no, I freaking love what I do now. I still serve patients 10 hours a week. actually.   as of last week went down to like seven. We got a chef, yay. So I still serve patients like seven hours a week. I still spend probably like three hours a week ⁓ running meetings and like running the clinic. ⁓ But now we have other investments. ⁓ Whereas that clinic portion that used to be all of our eggs were in that basket.   Kiera Dent (27:22) I'm not.   Dr. Lauryn B (27:46) Right? So like, as we had kids, my husband left corporate consulting to help our family and clinic grow. So all of our eggs were in this one basket of whether the clinic does well that quarter or not. we want to remodel the kitchen? Better go get some more new patients. Like, want to go to Disney? It's not in the budget, but like, ugh, like all of these things. And we're not even talking about time freedom. Like we're just talking about like the key to burnout is having time freedom and   financial freedom. When I'm working with docs, the ones that are like the hardest to fix are not the ones that are like, I am working 60 hours a week. I have like oodles of money that I know should be like, I should be doing something with in, but it's just like $50,000 in this bank account. And like, I wish I had time to go to Disney, but I don't, I don't want to belittle that. That is a different kind of burnout.   Kiera Dent (28:32) Mm-hmm.   Right,   it is.   Dr. Lauryn B (28:45) and   everybody right now is playing a little sad song for you, but I relate to you, we can fix this. But the harder ones are the ones that are broke. Like being broke, and this has to do with like just core psychological, like I reference Maslow's hierarchy of needs a lot in my talks because like.   Kiera Dent (28:49) Mm-hmm.   I agree.   Mm-hmm.   Dr. Lauryn B (29:07) You cannot get to the tip, the Maslow's for those of us that took Psych 101 10 years ago is the triangle where at the top is enlightenment and at the bottom is like your base survival, food, water, shelter. And if you are broke, now granted, monks, I'm sure they can figure out how to have enlightenment without having food, water, shelter. Most of us cannot, okay? We are doctors and there is a certain amount of debt.   Kiera Dent (29:12) Mm-hmm.   I agree.   Dr. Lauryn B (29:34) and a certain amount of expectation is maybe the right, I don't know if that's the right word, with like, I'm gonna serve people and this career is gonna take care of me. I'm gonna go into debt and it's a lot of debt, but this career is gonna take care of me. I'm gonna care for people, as long as I focus on serving, the career will take care of me. And we have too many people that it's just not. And they're like, I...   did not realize that I was going to struggle this much financially. These are not people that are like, can't afford a yacht. These are people like truly who are like my margins for financial investing and building wealth are a lot more narrow than I thought they were going to be. And that's a harder thing to fix, but that...   Kiera Dent (30:22) Hmm.   Dr. Lauryn B (30:27) is a deeper kind of burnout that we just need to be more comfortable. Again, following generational stuff, Gen X, like we don't talk about money, right? That was the script that we got from them of like, you just focus on the patients and the patients will take care of you. And you're like, ⁓ okay, so we don't talk about money. And then millennials are like, I think we need to start talking about money. I think we need to start talking about money because if you were being paid,   Kiera Dent (30:38) Bye.   Hahaha!   Dr. Lauryn B (30:56) whatever you feel is appropriate. If you were feeling wealthy. And again, I'm not talking about that. I'm not putting on you that like you feel like you need to be making $3 million a year. Like, although that is my goal for next year is 3 million. just, but like, you know, just so we're clear, that is my literal goal for next year. So you can want that. You have permission to want that if you want, but we're talking about like, I don't know. Maybe if you made $500,000 a year, life would be a little easier and you could breathe.   Kiera Dent (31:10) Yeah, exactly.   Dr. Lauryn B (31:26) And if you can literally financially breathe, you have more bandwidth   make calm decisions for your business. Where you don't feel like if you have a bad quarter, you're gonna have to lay someone off. And like that's one of the first steps to helping most people   burnout or recover from burnout.   is like, we gotta talk about money and we gotta fix your personal financial situation because if you're constantly in a place of fight or flight   you can give yourself an extra 10 hours a week and time to be the CEO if all you're doing is worrying about how you're gonna make payroll. Like, it's not, you're not gonna   from burnout.   Kiera Dent (32:22) think that that was such a good ⁓ way that you highlighted it. And I'm just very curious now, like, how's the how, because agree, like people, what you're saying, Lauryn, I can tell you've lived the like the life. This is something that you've done, you've been there, you can speak to it so authentically. I've been there many times. And I'm always like, I want our doctors to get paid so well. I see how much you go into school for debt.   I see the, and I think that that's a different piece too, if we're to talk generational, people who are not walking out like half a million debt.   Dr. Lauryn B (32:55) And y'all are way worse than us,   right? Like what's the average dentist, like 350?   Kiera Dent (33:01) Average dentists right now are coming out at almost half a mil of debt when they walk in. It's bonkers.   Dr. Lauryn B (33:05) That is bonkers, you guys. Like when I heard that, because I posted a reel that went   so viral and it was just about like healthcare debt and reimbursement rates. And that's when I learned they were like, 250? Talk to a dentist. And I was like, wait, why? How long? And they were like, yeah, 350 minimum. And I was like,   Kiera Dent (33:25) Yeah.   Dr. Lauryn B (33:30) That's insane. That's insane.   Kiera Dent (33:32) That's insane.   And then you go buy a practice. So the practice that I helped start with a dentist straight out of school, we were, I called her 2.5. I got to walk by and I'm like, get that spine up like you're 2.5. We were 2.5 mil in debt. So that was coming with student loans. So schooling was 500,000. Living expenses during that time were about another, you know, two to 500. So like they're walking out with this.   $500, $600, $700,000 worth of debt, not just including your schooling, but all of life expenses, because you're probably not working while you're going to school. And then we went and bought a practice that's about a $2 million practice. So we were like 2.5, not like we were 2.5 in debt. I was like, keep that spine up, like put your hands up when you walk across the street, like you've got to keep those hands in motion because otherwise how are we going to get out of debt? And I think for me, when I look at that much debt,   when I look at that much risk and I look at the benefits that healthcare providers are giving, I'm like, no. And I tell teams all the time, I'm you want your doctor to be ridiculously wealthy. Like I do, and I preach this hard and I say, no, you should and you deserve it. And we want you that way because you're a better boss, you're a better clinician, you are better at doing your services because you're not stressed about making money. So we're not like you said, like, I want to go to Disney, let me go find more patients. I get.   No, I have confident, predictable payroll or cash flow. I'm very successful in what I do and you can make the margins there. Like I was the girl who did business that did not understand numbers. And now I say like, I love numbers and numbers definitely love me. And I'm like, it's now just a fun math equation. If I want to make X amount, you just back it down. You figure out what your costs are and you figure out the three levers you can use. We either drop our overhead, increase our production and or our collections. Like it's very simple when I'm like, okay, got it.   Dr. Lauryn B (35:05) and   Kiera Dent (35:17) Like got it when it's just those three levers, people make it so much more complex. And I think it does feel complex. Like reading a PNL is ridiculous. If you don't know what that is, that's okay. We're here where there's no judgment. It's a profit and loss statement. And I love educating people on this. Like this is where the fire in the belly comes. This is where it does. We get lit up because when I have someone who's cashflow positive, like you said, they can make calm decisions. They're not sitting here stressing all the time, but Lauryn, I'm very curious. Like you've talked about it at length. Like what do people do? Like what's the how, how do we get into this?   How do we have multiple streams because agreed all eggs in one basket? gosh. It's, ⁓ to me, that's like just a ticking time bomb. Like one bad day, one bad patient, one bad procedure. Like it's just going to explode because you're sitting like you're sitting on the edge of fear all the time to where you are in like cortisol adrenaline, like you are pumping. And then what you do is you go into complete shutdown because you can't handle it anymore. So your body and your system literally like just shuts down on you. You become apathetic to life.   Dr. Lauryn B (35:54) Mm-hmm.   Kiera Dent (36:15) things aren't exciting for you anymore. You become very numb to walking through the world. And it's like, I feel like the world of color goes into very like gray. It's very subtle. It's like, it's, there's no, there's no life left. It's just, are living life, but you're not actually being and living day in, out.   The Dental A Team (36:33) that wraps part one of our part two series. Be sure to tune back in for part two of this podcast. And as always, thanks for listening and I'll catch you next time on the Dental A Team Podcast.  

On a live taping of the Bible Savvy Podcast, pastors Courtney, Clayton, and David dig into Luke 10's story of Mary and Martha. At Jesus' table, priorities are reset. Jump into the Bible Savvy reading schedule at biblesavvy.com

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