Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives

Feeling zapped, exhausted and just plain tired? Alcohol may be what you are turning or have turned to in the past to unwind and get a reprieve from the demands of modern life. So, what can you do to downshift and rest without a drink? In this episode, Jolene and Aidan discuss their personal experiences with burnout this year and the practical steps they are taking to reignite their energy. They both share how alcohol used to slow things down for them during times of pressure yet the alcohol itself was draining in the long run. Now that alcohol is long gone from the coping repertoire, Jolene and Aidan share they are getting deep rest and replenishing their internal fire.  CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Gray Area Drinkers  - https://grayareadrinkers.com/ Jolene on Instagram -www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/re__filled/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com

Have you been berating yourself for your drinking, either past or present? It is time to delve into the work of forgiveness and self-compassion.  In this episode, Jolene and Aidan share how they approach thoughts of regret and shame around their drinking. Forgiveness is not that easy but powerful reframes and self-education can deliver relief and grace during those times you berate yourself for your past drinking behavior. Jolene discusses how brain chemistry is often the underlying cause of the gray area drinking cycle and how to view your drinking with compassion and understanding. Aidan reflects on how her cycle of gray area drinking was aggravated by thoughts of self-loathing and shares how she reframed her thinking to finally stop the cycle and feel into forgiveness.   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Gray Area Drinkers  - https://grayareadrinkers.com/ Jolene on Instagram -www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/re__filled/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com

What happens when Jolene and Aidan have a bad day, dine at an idyllic bistro in Paris, or desire to escape tough feelings? Sometimes they feel the urge to reach for a drink - but they don’t actually follow through. They also discuss how they manage the feeling with self-compassion, joy and confidence through the pissy moods, bad days and the feelings of missing out.  If you are struggling with moments of wanting a drink or thinking that you SHOULD be able to have just one then this conversation will be a balm for your soul. Learning to tolerate the discomfort in the moment is something that Jolene and Aidan are mastering in order to stay the course with an alcohol-free life.  CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Gray Area Drinkers  - https://grayareadrinkers.com/ Jolene on Instagram -www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/re__filled/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com

Three years after giving up alcohol Aidan started having lightning thoughts about her purpose. And, as Jolene comes up on her 5th alcohol-free anniversary, she too feels deeply connected to her intuition and is able to access her inner knowing with more ease. And, as a result, their lives keep getting better and better. So, in this episode, Jolene and Aidan felt called to share their own experiences with how intuition both led them to quit alcohol as well as to a deeper connection with their own inner voice. They also share how drinking used to numb their pain, fear and discomfort and left them both feeling scattered and stuck in life. Yet, that tiny voice inside that was saying “I know I need to stop.” was still there, whispering to each of them. No one said, “alcohol isn’t good for YOU” or pushed them to stop. But they both listened to that little whisper. And since then that voice of deep inner knowing has grown louder, stronger and clearer than ever.   If you are contemplating giving up alcohol and need confirmation that your tiny voice is right or if you are in the early stages of giving up alcohol because you listened to that tiny voice, then this episode is exactly what you need to hear today. Cozy up and enjoy the conversation. CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Gray Area Drinkers  - https://grayareadrinkers.com/ Jolene on Instagram -www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/re__filled/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com

There is a polarizing trend around drinking labels and what constitutes as “problem drinking”. So, what is gray area drinking and where does it fall on the “problem drinking” spectrum? This is a conversation in which Aiden and Jolene invite listeners to hear their personal stories with gray area drinking and one in which they work to define exactly what this label stands for. One doesn’t have to have a crash and burn story to stop drinking. Neither Jolene or Aiden had one. But, they both had a voice inside telling them “this doesn’t feel right”. That is all it takes to know that drinking isn’t working in your life. Jolene finds that it is more common than not that people identify with this gray area yet there is not a lot of conversation around it. Jolene and Aiden discuss why they didn’t need formal treatment and why no matter the route taken to becoming a non-drinker that we are all in this together. There is no judgment and in the end, we all need to do what is right, ok and safe for us. It is ok to say “I don’t want to drink alcohol anymore” regardless of where you are on the spectrum.   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Gray Area Drinkers  - https://grayareadrinkers.com/ Jolene on Instagram -www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/re__filled/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com  

Drinking is often intertwined with our closest relationships. So much so that we may continue drinking, even though a voice inside is wishing to stop, so that we don’t disrupt the status quo. How do we remove drinking from these relationships and what can we gain in the process? Aidan has been married for 14 years and met her husband at a bar. Their relationship began soaked in alcohol. When she quit drinking she credits her husband's support as making a huge difference in their progress. Now they enjoy a relationship that she says is much more peaceful and they have gained depth in conversations and talk about bigger and more interesting things now that drinking it out of the mix. Maybe there is less to worry about and more to look forward to when we finally untangle our relationships from alcohol. Jolene discusses how alcohol has affected her dating relationships and how she finally realized that alcohol was blocking the type of relationship she truly wanted. Before she went alcohol-free, dating often revolved around drinking. So, when she stopped drinking at 43, she stopped dating too and was faced with the raw emotion of anger of not having the married life she had imagined. As she opened back up to the dating world she found that some people backed away from her because she didn’t drink, yet the right person stepped closer. She is now in a relationship that is built on combined interests and one in which alcohol isn’t a part of their connection.   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Online Community For Former Gray Area Drinkers https://healthydiscoveries.mykajabi.com/p/membership Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com  

One of the greatest gifts of going alcohol-free is experiencing life deeply in the present moment. There is a quality of clarity and expansion that comes when we aren’t trying to escape into a drink. Yet, what do we do when the present moment is hard and trying? How can we sit in the hard moments without longing to escape? That is the million dollar question. Jolene is going into her 5th year not drinking and discusses how she had to develop the ability to tolerate pain in the present moment. She highlights the power of writing and journaling to stay in the present moment and talks about how to stay grounded and anchored through times of positive expansion. Ultimately the key to staying with trying moments is curiosity and a willingness to navigate the hard edges sober. Aiden shares how she is coping with the death of her mom. She has been feeling the intense emotions which accompany grief and credits not drinking with her ability to hold it together. During her mom’s final years, Aiden was able to show up with a sense of clarity and purpose with her mom and is surprised by her own strength. It turns out that the only way to get through a difficult life event is to stay present with it and move through the uncomfortable moments. CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Online Community For Former Gray Area Drinkers https://healthydiscoveries.mykajabi.com/p/membership Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com

Grief is vast and there is no formula for how to deal with it. Often when drinking takes a turn, loss and grief are found buried under the layers of the pain numbed by alcohol. When we go begin to unpack our relationship with alcohol we often find this story of loss and become reacquainted with the pain. Yet, we are rarely given a model for how to cope with grief sans alcohol. So, what do we do when we no longer use alcohol to numb the pain of loss? Aiden is currently grieving the death of her mother and discusses how she is processing the pain without alcohol. It isn’t easy and she feels the inevitable anxiety that is part of grief yet she reflects on how writing through her mom’s illness gave her control and served as a soothing self-care practice. Aiden shares why she is feeling stronger through the grieving process without alcohol and how this very conversation had a therapeutic effect. Jolene discusses how the loss of a romantic relationship in her late twenties triggered her gray area drinking. Loss can come in many forms - miscarriage, loss of a dream, loss of a loved one - and Jolene emphasizes that we need to be honest with ourselves about how the loss affects us and if we are using alcohol to numb our pain. Often our very own resistance to feeling our big loss is worse than letting it move through our bodies. And, we need to remember that we are built to withstand the pain of hard times without substances. Books mentioned:  Anxiety: The Missing Stage Of Grief by Claire Bidwell Smith The Journey From Abandonment To Healing by Susan Anderson Writing to Heal: A Guided Journal For Recovering From Trauma & Emotional Upheaval by James Pennebaker   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Online Community For Former Gray Area Drinkers https://healthydiscoveries.mykajabi.com/p/membership Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com

Aidan and Jolene look back on one year of podcasting together and talk about the things that have happened in their lives as a result.  They both shared their bright light moments -Jolene talks about her TEDx talk that she gave in November 2017 and Aidan talks about her TODAY show appearance in April 2018. Jolene also talked more about her online community for Former Gray Drinkers that she recently launched. This membership is for those who have made the decision to stop drinking and want to connect with others who have made the same decision. She wanted to make this as accessible as possible and offer practical content through guest expert interviews and her own virtual training classes. The content focuses on the things we care about once we stop drinking such as weight loss, hormone balance, emotional resiliency, relationships, intuition, financial wellness etc.   To join go to Healthy Discoveries and click on “work with me” then click on Former Gray Area Drinkers Community. When you enter the coupon code “EDIT” you'll receive the first month for $1.     CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Online Community For Former Gray Area Drinkers https://healthydiscoveries.mykajabi.com/p/membership Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com  

While every aspect of our lives can improve sans alcohol, the reality is there are still aspects of our lives that can still be difficult after we stop drinking. Both Aidan and Jolene have found that finding their flow, purpose, and focus helps them deal with reality. Giving up drinking does not solve all our problems but it allows us to clear the decks and look at what we need to focus on. Removing alcohol is not a protection or guarantee against hard, painful emotions or events. But giving up alcohol does allow us to recalibrate and pull in the resources that we need the most. Aidan has observed that the farther she gets from alcohol the quieter things get. Things don't feel as dramatic. Things get more stable and predictable. Not drinking has become a more measured, stable way of being. Jolene recommends looking into resources like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) to help deal with the physiological underpinnings of why we drank. The reality is we’re dealing with physical, emotional and energetic patterns and the animal brain that often needs re-wiring, re-patterning and replenishing after we stop drinking.   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Online Community For Former Gray Area Drinkers https://healthydiscoveries.mykajabi.com/p/membership Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com    

Jolene and Aidan talk about reaching out to a therapist, people in our lives who are supportive and we know are like-minded or communities online or in person. Opening up to people in our life versus trying to figure out this drinking question on our own. But sometimes it’s actually hard to reach out. They also discuss how and when to reach out to others who we are concerned about. Jolene mentions her Online Community For Former Gray Area Drinkers that she just launched to offer the “what’s next” content and community after we stop drinking. Join and learn more here. Jolene also shares her steps: 1. Reach out, 2. Stay, and 3. Engage. Even if we feel okay and think we're 'fine', staying and engaging are important pieces to reaching out. We're putting in the engagement deposit in our energy bank account. Continue to reach out. The reality is we’re more alone than ever, yet we're wired for connection. We are social beings wanting and needing to connect.   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Online Community For Former Gray Area Drinkers https://healthydiscoveries.mykajabi.com/p/membership Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com    

Jolene and Aidan share experiences they recently had with alcohol being front and center in their life. Even though they no longer drink they still encounter hard moments. These moments can be confusing, baffling and hard, no matter how good, strong and committed we feel. When drinking was part of our identity there will be moments where we’re reminded of who we used to be when we were around alcohol. They talk about what alcohol represented to them plus the effect that alcohol created and other ways and options to have that same effect and feeling now. Aidan recommends noticing and naming that it’s a hard moment and then actually experiencing the moment and to get to the other side. The practice of being uncomfortable is what takes the intensity away. Looking beyond the appearances and appreciating the complexity that there are deeper stories behind the drinking pictures that seem so romantic and perfect. SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Online Community For Former Gray Area Drinkers https://healthydiscoveries.mykajabi.com/p/membership Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com  

Jolene and Aidan talk about how social media and Instagram initially brought them together to start this podcast. They discuss how online platforms have played a role in changing how we think about drinking. It has become easy to quickly form online alcohol-free communities and the alcohol conversation is shifting because of podcasts, blogs, Instagram, and FaceBook groups. There is a sense of accessibility that is powerful and good. People can dabble and be "sober curious" at a distance. They can listen and participate at their own comfort level. The community of people becoming interested in this alcohol-free lifestyle is growing. But then there is a flip side to social media as well. Are we hiding behind our computer screens? Face-to-face interaction is an important ingredient as well. She Recovers provides a great in person conference once a year. But do we need more on-going in-person alcohol-free conversations in our local communities? There can be a powerful connection, story, and vulnerability within social media, but we also filter aspects of our lives on social media too.  Jolene and Aidan end by sharing some of their favorite Instagram handles - TheSoberGlow, Tammi Salas, Cleo Wade, Wild Soul Healing, Tell Better Stories 2018, and The_Numinous who also hosts the in-person NYC Club Soda events. In the end, look at the balance between your in-person and online communities. Follow and unfollow in whatever way feels good to you.    SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com

What do others say when they are drinking or not drinking around us? How did Jolene and Aidan navigate other people's opinions early on? People will certainly have conversations and opinions, but the fear of what others will think and say is often worse than what's actually said. Some people can be threatened or feel strongly that drinking is a part of life that shouldn't be missed. Taking alcohol out can feel punitive, perfectionistic and unnecessary for many people. However, the stronger you get in your own stance and the decision to not drink the easier this all becomes. If you feel confident and carry that energy into your interactions and social life, Jolene has found her friends have stayed her friends regardless of whether she drinks or not. Some people have even pulled her aside and said they're thinking about cutting back or taking a break from drinking themselves. Arm yourself with an explanation of why you're not drinking. It can be quick and simple. Also, ask yourself how much you're seeking and needing permission from others to do or not do something? Some people will prefer for you to keep drinking, and there can be mild to moderate pushback, but opinions are just opinions. Let people reveal themselves, they might surprise you with their support. The judgment goes both ways, we can also judge those who drink too much as well. Self-awareness and critical thinking is the key. Is there something sideways or off with a relationship in the first place to elicit comments or could the person who is judging be drinking too much themselves?    SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com

Is it possible to moderate? What do Aidan and Jolene think about moderation? Aidan says she could moderate but felt miserable. It wasn't pleasant to think about and plan for all the time. It takes the joy out of her day. However, moderation helped bring both Jolene and Aidan to their resolute decision to stop drinking for good.    Jolene found once she drank the first glass of wine the neurochemical activation had begun and it was very difficult to moderate and say no to more glasses of wine.  If you're thinking about moderating you've probably passed the point of being able to moderate. Your energy might be better spent in simply stopping altogether. However, limiting and cutting back on alcohol is a great first step. Questioning why you want to be able to keep drinking is helpful too. The question becomes not can you moderate, but do you want to moderate? It's a choice. Ultimately for both Jolene and Aidan, dealing with the hard stuff in life is better than the merry-go-round of back and forth drinking. Quitting drinking doesn't guarantee or protect us against things. There's nothing wrong with moderating and it's often a path to stopping. Willpower is exhaustible. Critical thinking your way through this question is helpful even if it doesn't feel like it at the moment.   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com

Jolene and Aidan discuss the troubling marketing of alcohol memes toward women and moms. The promotion of excess as a way to escape and cope is what's being promoted. These memes send the message that drinking is the way to make life better. As many are quietly trying to feel okay and justify their own drinking it's easy to thoughtlessly share these memes. Aidan voices her concern for people who are currently struggling with alcohol and how this marketing shows up in their lives especially when it's brought into the wellness world.  What is the message we're sending? How can we question without coming across as angry? Wine has become a big part of the female culture and the feminist message of independence. Women are being sold the message that booze is a way to take the edge off but we're really just diluting our power. Habitual alcohol consumption is stripping us of our strength -- energetically and emotionally. Tell Better Stories 2018 on Instagram is calling this out. Jolene and Aidan also share ways we can all be more mindful and pay attention by refusing to share alcohol memes, comment diplomatically, and speak to business owners who sell or share these memes. It's time to think critically and outside the box about alcohol marketing.   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com

Aidan and Jolene discuss how they found alcohol-free like-minded people through blogging, Instagram, FaceBook groups, and when social media connections can turn into friendships in real life. Jolene mentions how This Naked Mind and The HOME podcast weren't available when she stopped drinking so the online world is quickly and rapidly changing.  They mention in-person groups like AA, Refuge Recovery, SMART Recovery, Women and Sobriety, Life Ring and the importance of being with people face-to-face which helps calm and regulate the nervous system. Aidan is part of a sober bookclub that was started by Mia Glow who is SoberGlow on Instagram. Begin to research and explore what local groups are in your area and available for you to tap into. While some friendships dropped away, they both added many new people to their life as well. Being public can expedite finding your people. Aidan recommends paying attention to people's energy and how it impacts you. If there are people who criticize and make you feel less than, they are not your people.  The flip side of how you find your people is how you let go of people. It can be hard and difficult at times to step away from certain individuals and groups but take the time to find communities that resonate with you because we all need human connection and support.   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com

Aidan was public with her decision to not drink in 2012 with her Year Without Wine blog posts, but Jolene stayed quieter and more private in the early months of quitting drinking for good. Jolene shares how she wrote a blog post when she was 60-days alcohol-free but she didn't publish it. Through the evolution of not drinking though, they both developed and claimed more of their voice, which Jolene demonstrated in her recent TEDx talk. It's a very personal decision that depends on many factors, but if you feel called to speak out, Aidan recommends speaking publicly because the connection to others that it brings can be profound. Waiting for others to give us permission to go alcohol-free will never happen, so there is a leap we must take. As time goes on family and friends do tend to step up and are supportive of our decision.  Ask yourself what is your purpose in being public? For Aidan, she believes it's a conversation that needs to happen. For Jolene, she feels there is a missing piece regarding the physiological neurotransmitter, and brain chemistry side of things. She is also passionate about shaking out-dated paradigms and breaking stigmas surrounding alcohol. If you're private about giving up drinking the decision still benefits and is reflected in all areas of your life. Find what serves you - being public or staying more private - the benefits need to be for you, not someone else.   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com

Do you make New Year's Resolutions? What happens when, if you fall off course or routine? In this episode, Jolene and Aidan discuss The Four Tendencies (the upholder, the obliger, the questioner, and the rebel) by Gretchen Rubin.  They also discuss how personal values, intentions, and clarifying your 'why' plays a role in making decisions and choosing things like your word for the year. When we understand our patterns, approach, personality, and biochemistry we can make empowered edits within our own lives. Is Dry January good or is it just a way to just beat ourselves up for indulgences through a 'cleanse'? Could a 30-day cleanse be a way to make us feel like we always need "to fix ourselves." Jolene believes a true cleanse needs to be medically supervised and we need to be careful that we're not starting from a place of thinking we are deficient or defective. Both Aidan and Jolene agree that when we think of making a change as a way to improve and add/enhance something it tends to stick and last longer. They end this episode with how they plan to celebrate New Year's Eve and what their core values, over-arching intentions are for 2018.   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com

There will always be a holiday, a special event, anniversary, or celebration during the calendar year. It doesn't matter if it's December, April, July or any other month. Aidan talks about her recent holiday party that she hosted and Jolene talks about her first birthday without alcohol. When we shift our focus from the alcohol to the event, conversation, connection and activity it opens up a new realm of experience and possibility of truly being present in social situations. Both Aidan and Jolene have found that instead of feeling ostracized or questioned about not drinking, what actually happens is people pull them aside at parties to tell them they are rethinking their own drinking and they are considering cutting back as well. Social situations can sometimes feel uncomfortable, but that initial discomfort does pass. This episode ends with how Jolene and Aidan plan to stay connected and present during this holiday season. They share some fun drink options and a reminder that fun enjoyment can and does happen during special occasions without alcohol and everyone doesn't always drink!   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com

Jolene talks about the role GABA plays in anxiety and how she used lemon balm, passion flower, holy basil, inositol, and L-theanine in the early days of quitting drinking to help regulate her own anxiety. She talks about how yoga can boost GABA levels as well. Aidan mentions the difference between anxiety and stress and Kelly McGonigal's TED Talk on How To Make Stress Your Friend. Through self-awareness and self-care practices like quality sleep and a good diet, Aidan finds these help buffer some of the stress she has been going through, along with reaching out, sharing and connecting with others even if it's hard or messy. Jolene discusses the benefits she received from somatic experiencing therapy and referenced Peter Levine's work, books, and online videos. There is no right or wrong, good or bad way to set up self-care routines for anxiety. The important thing to think about is what feeds and nourishes you right now? It took Aidan and Jolene time to get to this place (not using alcohol to medicate their anxiety and feel a reduction in anxiety) but they are motivated to continue to create lives that they're passionate about and grateful for as they make their own individual edits.   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com  

Aidan and Jolene talk about their early anxiety stories. Aidan didn't think of herself as an anxious kid, but Jolene did identify as an anxious kid early on and had panic attacks in Junior High. They both resonate with being high achievers who got stuck in a perfectionistic anxious loop in their minds.  This episode goes deeper into exposing and giving voice to gray area of drinking as a way to regulate and medicate anxiety. With the help of a therapist, Aidan began to realize how much anxiety was actually underneath her drinking. Both Jolene and Aidan realized that drinking actually increased their anxiety. Aidan reads her "I see you" post from Instagram and Jolene reads her Instagram post about her upcoming TEDx talk and how it relates to this subject as well.  This discussion will be continued on Episode 18 - Anxiety Part Two.   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com  

If you're asking the question, it's probably something you'll want to pay attention to. Sometimes just asking the internal question is more important than getting an external answer from others. Also, if you're questioning your drinking it might be prudent to stop for a short or long period and see if there is something to be gained? How much is too much for you? How frequently are you drinking? These can be interesting questions to explore but equally important is the question of how alcohol actually impacts you? Do you have shame and self-loathing around your drinking? Is it getting in the way of your joy and existence? It can be admittedly hard to know how you feel about these questions when you're still drinking. Two other questions you might want to ask are, "What would your life be like without alcohol?" and "How long does the positive impact of drinking last for you?"  There is a spectrum that this podcast will address is the area of drinking that is still a choice. It can be very empowering to be able to make a decision about your drinking because you choose to, not because you have to. But choice becomes harder the longer you drink. Both Jolene and Aidan agree it was liberating to move into a resolute statement about knowing in their bones they wanted off the drinking merry-go-round for good. Ultimately this is a personal choice that requires time and inner reflection!   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com  

Aidan and Jolene talk about how they view their own introvert and extrovert personalities. How they feel about being alone vs with others as a way to recharge and regenerate. Aidan mentions the book Quiet: The Power Of Introverts In A World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. Aidan also shares this quote from Blaise Pascal: "All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone."  When we take alcohol out of the equation what really happens on the introvert/extrovert scale? For some people, it's harder to be alone at home and not reach for a drink while others might find it harder to be out with others and not drink. But according to Susan Cain, historically the greatest minds are introverts and we need to celebrate introversion more in a world that glorifies extroversion. Jolene mentions the book, The Last Best Cure: My Quest To Awaken The Healing Parts Of My Brain and Get Back My Body, My Joy, and My Life by Donna Jackson Nakazawa. This is the book that explains the Orchid/Dandelion gene in more detail. Jolene shares the upside of being an Orchid (sensitive gene). She also touches on Pyroluria - which is a hemoglobin synthesis that has gone awry and can deplete B6 and zinc which can make us feel more socially anxious and introverted. They end with the questions of "what are we really camouflaging from the world and ourselves when we're drinking?" And "what are we really hungry for or craving when we're drinking? Is it more connection, solitude, creativity, nature etc? What really feeds our introverted, sensitive selves?   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com  

The decision to count or not count alcohol-free days is different for everyone. Jolene and Aidan discuss why they both like counting days and which apps they use. Aidan uses NOMO and Jolene used Good Habits and Quit That. Counting days can also be a way to mark and celebrate milestones as well as a way to connect with others within alcohol-free communities. Counting can also help keep the momentum going in the early days. There can be positive aspects to counting down the days (for a 30-90 day alcohol-free challenge) or in counting up the days to track the insights, learning, and changes that happen over time. Wheather you choose to count or not, it's ultimately about 'making the days count' and how we live each day. If counting feels too restrictive try reframing your focus onto a "quest" or personal challenges like a travel quest, exercise, hobby challenge or personal goal. SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com  

This episode explores the havoc that alcohol plays on sleep and dreams. Alcohol can contribute to hormone, blood sugar and cortisol imbalances which disrupts sleep patterns in the middle of the night. Jolene mentions the Chinese Medicine theory of why we might be waking up at 3 am as well.  It can take time (a couple weeks or months) to get sleep patterns back on track after removing alcohol from your life, so be patient. Aidan and Jolene talk about how to assess and evaluate sleep with tracking devices like a Fitbit  Sleep rebuilds neurotransmitters - GABA and serotonin and B6 and zinc might be helpful for dream recall. Plus, Jolene and Aidan both talk about the troubling aspect of drinking dreams and how real and visceral those dreams feel. Aidan shares a quote, “sleep is the best meditation” from the Dalai Lama. Ultimately sleep can be a really powerful healer when we find our ideal number of sleep hours and personal sleep routine. Jolene shares some coaching tips for better sleep — The Sleep With Me app, Calm magnesium, legs up the wall yoga, and using a light box first thing in the morning to help boost melatonin at night.   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com  

Aidan and Jolene talk about why they committed to not drinking when they could get away with continuing to drink. Aidan wrote about her long-term commitment/decision in her blog post, Saying I Do To A Life Without Alcohol. But let's be honest, when gray area drinkers don't have to stop but choose to stop, it can leave the door slightly open to return to drinking at some point. On the flip side, there can be a sense of hope and relief when the firm decision to take alcohol out of your life is made. Jolene shares two of her biggest fears around the forever question and both Aidan and Jolene believe they are better equipped to handle hard situations simply because alcohol is not part of their life anymore. They discuss how it helps to put the forever question out of mind and focus instead on experimenting with a period of time —30, 90 days, six months or a year to see for yourself how you feel as a result of not drinking. The accumulation of non-drinking experiences is how you began to prove to yourself that you can cope and manage and handle life in ways you never thought possible. When you focus on what is right in front of you, the not drinking and forever question feels more doable.    SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com  

Does parenthood or lack of parenthood impact our drinking? Jolene and Aidan discuss how their personal desires to have children intersected with their own drinking. Whether it's the loss of the dream of having a child, the loss of an identity, or the increase of stress and anxiety when becoming a mother, alcohol plays a central role for many women in the kids/no kids equation. One of Aidan's primary motivators to quit drinking was the modeling she wanted to set for her three daughters. Jolene found she was able to deal with her grief from not having kids when she actually stopped drinking.    SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com    

Jolene and Aidan talk about how they engage in their social lives without drinking. Both admit they are more of introverts than they once thought. They share some of the phrases they have ready if someone offers them a drink such as, “no thank you”, “I don’t drink anymore”, "I'm good for now" or "I’m on a cleanse." Aidan mentions the importance of being non-judgmental toward drinkers and balancing that with the uncomfortable feelings of being around people who are very inebriated. Ultimately, Aidan and Jolene agree that everyone must decide for themselves what works best when being around people who drink and they acknowledge that we all often overestimate how uncomfortable it will be to be in a situation where others are drinking. Aidan talks about a vacation she went on with other couples when she wasn’t drinking and notes that she still had a lot of fun. Both Jolene and Aidan recommend going to weddings, vacations and other events as a non-drinker to get the experience under your belt. The anticipation is often far bigger than the reality. Jolene has found more people actually respect her decision to not drink than they criticize her decision. The hardest parts of a social gathering can be the very beginning or the very end. While it can feel a little awkward in first 20-minutes of arriving at an event the anxiety does typically evaporate. There’s nothing wrong with feeling a little awkward or uncomfortable at times; it always passes. It’s also important and meaningful to connect with, and seek out, people who don't drink or activities that do not involve always involve drinking. Aidan mentions that she's become part of a book group that doesn’t drink and Jolene talks about being part of a yoga community of people who aren't big drinkers. Mix it up, put yourself out there, and feel free to add to or expand your social groups and communities when you stop drinking.   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com    

The evening hours are often a hard time to stick to the resolve of not drinking alcohol. Especially after a full, stressful day, you might say, “Why am I being so hard on myself? I can have a treat, I can have one drink.” You might be coming down from a hard day or you start to question why you’re being so strict or rigid with not drinking. Aidan has learned that these moments do pass and the feelings do change. Two of Jolene’s favorite phrases are “feeling aren’t facts” and “this too shall pass”. Aidan likes to imagine the next day and play the tape forward, picturing how she would feel if she drank. Jolene explains some to the neuroscience behind using visualization and imagery to overcome an f-it moment. Aidan shares a letter from a listener who needed a pep talk before going out for the night and Aidan’s suggestion was to focus on the bigger desire beyond drinking. Jolene shares how the dopamine rebalancing might make us feel like drinking when the brain is actually just healing. It takes time. There are casual f-it moments and then more dangerous f-it moments. Aidan likes to replace wine with something else such as: taking a walk, reading, eating or drinking something that’s not alcohol. Everyone needs to discover for themselves what feels safe and okay for a replacement. Jolene shares a coaching tip on how to add things like "ING activities" into your life and to focus on passions, pursuits and joy, instead of deprivation, which can all be great antidotes to f-it moments.   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com    

Aidan looks back on her drinking days and talks about the surprisingly positive mental, emotional, existential aspects of her hangovers. Jolene shares the negative physical effects of her hangovers and how they ultimately motivated her to stop drinking. Jolene talks about the histamine, blood sugar response and explains how, during a hangover, our bodies are simply trying to regulate and bring things back into physical balance, and how we then beat ourselves up emotionally. Also, brain chemicals GABA (helps us feel less anxious) and serotonin (helps us feel less depressed) get depleted from too much alcohol. Aidan talks about how, while hungover, she felt a lot of emotional shame, regret, guilt, sadness and knew spending time hungover meant she was losing time from her precious life. Both Jolene and Aidan talk about a couple ‘hangover supplements’ they used to take. Aidan reveals how she would open up to her husband and feel so vulnerable in the morning after drinking. This was a time when she would be more emotional and cry - which is something that doesn’t come easily to her. The hangover enabled Aidan to access emotions and feelings that she wouldn’t normally allow herself to feel. Both Aidan and Jolene confess that they hid their hangovers at times and Jolene mentions Bessel van dark Koll’s book, The Body Keeps The Score as a helpful resource for understanding stress and trauma and some underlying reasons for why we might drink too much. Jolene gives a coaching tip for boosting gut health with fermented foods and Aidan recommends the book, Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar, by Cheryl Strayed. They end this podcast by talking about striving for a quiet acceptance with whatever it is you’re dealing with at this time in your life.   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com    

Jolene and Aidan debrief what it feels like to have the first six episodes of their podcast out into the world. They talk about the vulnerability hangover of sharing their stories along with the overwhelmingly positive response they’ve received from thousands of listeners who identify with the gray area of drinking. Jolene talks about hitting the sharp edges with her anxiety when they first released the podcast and she shares two examples of a medical professional who brushed her off and told her “she didn’t have a problem with alcohol” whereas another health care professional said she “would have recommended treatment for Jolene.” They talk about the strength that comes from vulnerability even though it’s uncomfortable and often hard, but ultimately very liberating. Jolene shares a coaching tip on how to reduce sugar cravings by eating regularly. Aidan shares a book she’s reading called, Material Girl, Mystical World: The Now Age Guide to a High-Vibe Life by Ruby Warrington. She also shares a quote by Howard Thruman, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”  Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com    

Aidan and Jolene talk about what life without alcohol has been like so far for them. They share what the best parts of the dry life have been as well as acknowledge the tougher parts. This episode is an honest, if surface, peek into life without alcohol. They both share how giving up alcohol has reduced their anxiety and they discuss the new level of presence and resilience they've found. Some of the more difficult pieces have been feeling lonely at times and pulling away from certain groups of people. They end this episode on a positive note about making the bold choice to stop drinking while this choice was still a possibility and they acknowledge that, contrary to popular wisdom, there is no requirement of "crash and burn" to stop drinking and we can make the choice to stop at any point.   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com    

Jolene talks about dancing back and forth between drinking and not drinking for many years and about how she reached her quiet tipping point on December 14, 2014. It wasn't planned and she didn't think of this as her last day of drinking, but after drinking on that Saturday and feeling sick until the next Tuesday, she knew in her bones she would not drink again. The Early Exit is a liberating choice because it goes beyond not drinking alcohol. Jolene has come to know and understand this is also about nervous system regulation and the ability to sit with the discomfort in life. Jolene shares how she has gone on to study somatic yoga and shares some of the exciting things she is learning about neuroplasticity and our ability to rewire our brains and feel better.   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com        

Aidan talks about her "dance" between drinking and not drinking. She recently heard Elizabeth Vargas, author of Between Breaths: A Memoir of Panic and Addiction, speak at the She Recovers Conference. Vargas said, "when you start to drink to numb, that's something you need to pay attention to." Aidan agrees with that statement and shares her story of finally deciding to stop drinking for good. She mentions the pain of a miscarriage, how she used wine to self-medicate after the birth of her third daughter and then after the death of her father. Aidan reads her first Year Without Wine blog post, originally published in 2012, called Wine Is My Weakness. With the help of a therapist, she came to realize she may not have a capital "P" problem, but that she had a lower case "p" problem with alcohol and anxiety. She talks about the liberation she found in giving up alcohol and how this gray area of drinking is a universal, under-explored topic.   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com    

Jolene gives a glimpse of what her drinking looked like in the beginning. She didn't grow up around a lot of drinking and rarely drank in high school or college, but there was a pivotal point in her late 20's when things changed. She began using wine to self-medicate the heartbreak of a lost relationship. Jolene talks about how her drinking continued and escalated into her 30's and how she began hiding her hangovers more than her drinking. Even though Jolene was never a big volume drinker, her frequent drinking was becoming a problem. She shares how she started to weigh the cost/benefit of drinking and ultimately decided that drinking wasn't working for her anymore.   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!     CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com      

Aidan gives a glimpse of what her drinking looked like in the beginning. She talks about coming from a family where alcohol is often celebrated and acknowledges that she has many good memories associated with drinking. She talks about getting accepted into Yale and receiving a celebratory bottle of champagne from her parents, but confesses that over the years, things began to change. An important turning point in her drinking narrative was an ill-fated Christmas party she hosted soon after her father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Shame and self-loathing began to accompany her drinking even though she was "holding it together" on the surface. Anxiety led to unconscious and then more conscious self-medication. Aidan went through several years of alternating between drinking and not drinking, years which led to her eventual decision to quit for good in July 2016.   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com        

Aidan and Jolene introduce themselves and talk about their decision to make an Early Exit from the drinking life. They also discuss whom they hope to reach with their podcast about the gray area of drinking and explore how they both used alcohol as a way to self-medicate their anxiety, the power of story and the ability to edit our personal story lines. Aidan shares a quote from Walt Whitman about curiosity versus judgment and Jolene shares a coaching tip about the neuroscience and benefits of finding like-minded communities.    SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com