Horrible Horror Podcast

Hey Moongoons, I just wanted to drop this little bonus episode to update all of you on what's been going on with me and the show over the past month and what it might be like going foward. 

In this week's "Why They Talk" episode we finally come to the end of this year's Horrible Horror's March Movie Madness Tournament of Awfulness and crown this year's worst of the worst champion. We talk a bit "Mandalorian" season finale, we discuss just what exactly is a "Deadite" and I guess we also talk about some shitty horror movies i.e. "Beaster Day", "Spring Break Massacre", Midsommer", and "Hereditary"

What do Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Chris Rock, porn, gators and show tunes all have in common? They're all in this episode. This week Marshall and Nachos McWerewolf sit down for another round table discussion. In what is now named a "Why they talk?" episode we talk and discuss "Spiral", "X", and "Pearl" as well as engage in a 20 plus minute side rant about Star Wars. Oh yeah we also reveal the results of the HHMMMToA Final F@cked Up 4 and see who will be fighting it out in the championship to be crowned the worst of the worst. 

This week we're hiking up a mountain and setting up camp at Northpoint to take on "The Prey". This early 80's slasher is 50% "Friday the 13th", 47% "The Hills Have Eyes", 34% "The Burning" and 68% National Geographic nature documentary. Add all that up and you get 100% pure sh!t. We're also revealing the results of this year's HHMMMToA Epically Awful 8 to see who will play in the Final F#cked Up 4 and announcing the newest inductee into the Horrible Horror Hall of Fame.  

This week we sit down and have an open discussion about several newer horror movies including "Megan", "Smile", "The Black Phone" and more. We also reveal the results of the Shitty 16 round and set the Epically Awful 8 match ups for this year's Horrible Horror March Movie Madness Tournament of Awfulness.

In this quick little bonus episode we reveal the winners (if you want to call them that) of round one (the play in round) of this year's Horrible Horror March Movie Madness Tournament of Awfulness and we set the bracket for round 2 The Shitty 16.

A dark yet beautiful and tragic love story for the ages layered in mystery and suspense...oh wait never mind. This is a horrible adaptation that barely resembles the source material. This week we're dawning our finest tuxes and heading out to the opera to take on the 1989 Robert Englund "The Phantom of the Opera" aka The Phantom of Elm Street aka Freddy goes to the Opera.

We live by the crystal and die by the crystal. In this episode we're putting on our space suits, grabbing our laser guns and taking on "Galaxy of Terror". This 1981 sci-fi horror features two horror icons laser guns, kung-fu, and space rape. So strap in and get ready because this ship is ready for blast off.

Ho! Ho! Ho!. Well its Christmas time again but this year due to many scheduling conflicts and well just life we're doing something a little different this year. This week we're doing the first ever Horrible Horror Naughty or Nice list. So sit back with your cup of hot coco and join Marshall and some call-ins from old friends to find out who made the list.

It's Horrible Horror Jeopardy 2 Y'all!!!!

If you take a little bit of "Shocker" plus a dash of "Christine" and mix it with a helping of "Rocktober Blood" and top it off with a pair of Rock n' Roll and metal icons, you have yourself one hell of a wild gem of a movie. So wake up sleepy heads, it's party time. Make sure to listen to this episode backwards because its time for "Trick or Treat".

This week we're harvesting another haunted house theme park movie in the form of "The Bates Haunting". I couldn't handle this 2012 indie alone and had to call in the big guns for some back up. So hop on the back of the trailer, pull up a hay bale, sit next to your favorite "Jackass" cast-off, turn up the 90's emo butt rock and try to make it through "The Bates Haunting" not to be confused with "Hallow's Eve" which was shot at the exact same haunted house a year later.

Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat. If you don't, you SHOULD care, because I'll make you watch this really shitty movie. This week we're carving up the 2018 "Black Pumpkin". This indie slasher features a 10 year old rag wearing killer, an older sister who seems allergic to wearing pants, and a possible future Horrible Horror Hall of Famer. What it doesn't' have is any sense of a cohesive plot, rememberable characters, or a back story that makes sense. But hey, it has one of the most annoying commercial jingles we've ever heard.

It's the most wonderful time of the year, October is finally here again. This year we're kicking off the spooky season with a little movie called "Scream Park". This 2012 indie slasher suffers from an inability to really stand out in any facet. The acting ranges from okay to atrocious, the kills are mostly basic, the effects are simple but passable , the killers are dollar bin rip offs of other killers we've seen before, but it does have an absolutely magnificent set boobs and somehow "features" an all time horror movie icon. 

Okay, so stop me if you've heard this one before, a Leprechaun, a He-Man villain, and Hulk villain walk into a sh!tty movie. This week we're skinning out teeth on the 2004 indie film "Skinned Deep".  Written, directed, and produced by special effects guru Gabriel Bartalos under the Fangoria banner this "movie" is one of the most absurd, weird, and "What the f*@k is happening" movies we've ever seen.  Hell, we're still trying to make sense of it and sadly I don't think we ever will. 

Well Moongoons, I'm at a lost for words for this week's episode. This week's movie "The Slayer" joins the upper tier of worst movies we've ever covered on this show. This 1982 "slasher" slayed a bit of our souls, I don't think we will ever be the same again after sitting through the awfulness that is this movie. Even now as I sit here writing this I just feel dead inside, but hey enjoy the episode. 

Well good evening there. Come sit by the fire as we regale you with works of literary genius, works so sublime, so masterfully written that they make the works of such literary masters by the likes of Dickens, Chaucer, Kipling, Faulkner, and Hemingway look like mere children's scribbling. Pour yourself a nice glass of the finest brandy or chianti and enjoy the literary renaissance that is Horrible Horror Masterpiece Theatre.

Well good evening there. Come sit by the fire as we regale you with works of literary genius, works so sublime, so masterfully written that they make the works of such literary masters by the likes of Dickens, Chaucer, Kipling, Faulkner, and Hemingway look like mere children's scribbling. Pour yourself a nice glass of the finest brandy or chianti and enjoy the literary renaissance that is Horrible Horror Masterpiece Theatre.

It's the 4th of July weekend and that means it's time for beer, grilling, fireworks, vehicular manslaughter and meat hooks. This week we're watching the late 90's hit "I Know What You Did Last Summer". This star filled slasher and Jennifer Love Hewitt's tits helped relaunch the horror genre into the modern era. So what are you waiting for, huh! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!!! P.S.-We had an audio issue with the second mic, sorry.

Its June so that means its wedding season and with that comes bachelorette parties. So put on your bridal sashes, grab your penis straws and call in the strippers, because we're taking on "Slashlorette Party" and joining the party this week is Sydney from the "Spooky Tuesday" Podcast. This indie slasher features a some of the worst written characters, a group of friends that shouldn't be friends, friend of the show Drew Marvick, and a porn star legend. When the blood clears will we be saying "I do" to "Slashlorette Party" or will we leave it at the alter?

Journey with us back into the fog for part two of our "Silent Hill" retrospective. Joining me again the in fog is Cincinnati Jeff from the "Here Comes The Spooky" podcast and this time we're taking about movies, "Silent Hill" & "Silent Hill: Revelations". 

Journey into the fog with us for a special two part retrospective on one of the greatest horror franchises of all time, Silent Hill. In part one we break down, discuss, reminisce on the first three games in the franchise. So grab a flashlight, your broken radio and join us in the fog to talk about the grandfather of horror games what what still are some of the scariest games of all time, Silent Hill 1, 2, and 3.

Murder, car chases, skateboarding, explosions, tits, sex, and Kung-Fu! Just like all the great malls of the 80's this week's movie "Phantom of the Mall" has everything. This 1989 horror movie is an over the top crazy bonkers ride that stars Paulie Shore, Morgan Fairchild, and the most interesting man in the world. So grab some fro-yo because we're going to the point of no return.

If "Friday the 13th" and "Halloween" had baby but that baby had fetal alcohol syndrome and downs syndrome it would be this week's movie. This shoe string indie is hands down one of the worst movies we've ever seen. Featuring a cast straight out of your grandparent's retirement community making this the oldest cast ever assembled for a horror movie, terrible acting, lame and unimaginative kills, grade school level writing, and an actor that may legitimately be on the spectrum. So join us as we try to survive "Camp Murder".

It's Prom season again so this week we're closing out the "Prom Night" series by taking on "Prom Night 4: Deliver Us From Evil". I'm not going stag the beautiful Monica from the Spooky Tuesday podcast is my lovely date to this insane dance of ridiculousness.  This Canadian sequel features a killer priest who just might have more powers then God himself, massive explosions, a creepy pervy 14 year old voyeur, a closeted lesbian or at the very least bi-curious best friend, and a fire shooting Aspergillum. Oh and stigmata. When the righteous fires settle will this movie find redemption or will it be punished to an eternity of self flagellation in hell?

Hooisers, Coach Carter, Hoop Dreams, White Men Can't Jump, & Air Bud are some of the all time greatest basketball movies. This week's movie is the 1990 "Night of the Dribbler". If those other movies are the starting line up, then "Night of the Dribbler" isn't' even at the end of the bench it's still sitting in the locker room trying to figure out how to tie its shoes. We may have found one of the worst movies ever made, it fails at being a horror movie and it fails at being a comedy. Hell, it's barely even a movie, it's more like a 90 minute one man demo reel. Not only does "Night of the Dribbler" foul out it should be ejected from the game and banned for life.

Grab your favorite energy drink because its time to play some pinball and kick some furry animatronic ass! This week we're taking on "Willy's Wonderland", a blatant "Five Nights and Freddy's" rip off starring Nicolas Mother F'ing Cage as mute janitor with a severe caffeine addiction kicking furry animatronic ass. Nuff' said. 

Happy Easter Moongoons! Hopping down the sh!ty movie trail this week is "Night of the Lepus". This 1972 horror movie staring Janet Leigh (Jamie Lee Curtis' Mom) and Dr. Leonard "Bones McCoy" from Star Trek are in quite the hare-y predicament when a horde (or fluffle if you will) of giant carnivorous man eating rabbits stampede and rampage through their small Arizona town. Also featuring a man in bunny suit smearing ketchup on people, extreme close ups, exploding stuffed bunny toys, annoying and terrible children, and an ending sequence that is absolutely ridiculous bonkers. 

Holy crap balls, Moongoons we made it to 250 episodes! To celebrate this momentous occasion we're taking a little cruise, a cruise to New York to be more precise. That's right we're doing "Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan". The last of the Paramount Friday the 13th's, this installment says screw the original lore and history of Jason as well as features an eternally wet Jason, geographical impossibilities, street gangs, rapey drug using muggers, cut-a-way kills, magical toxic waste that skin care companies would kill for, the worst and we mean THE WORST cases of over the top killer teleportation, and the most ridiculous, nonsensical, what where they thinking bull crap ending ever imaginable.

It's Wrestlemania weekend so that means it's once again time for a wrestling themed horror movie. This week we're lacing up our boots again, squeezing into our wrestling tights, putting on the face paint and squaring off with "Monster Brawl". This Canadian indie film features nearly all of the great classic monsters fighting each other to the death, not one but two WWE Hall of Famers, and really solid kills. But will that be enough to over power the juggernaut that is the absolute lack of a plot or any discernable story. Will "Monster Brawl" stand tall as the new heavy weight champion or will it be left in the center of the ring for the three count?

She's alive! She's alive! And she'll love you long time. You don't need money for this date so lay back with your super crack and listen as we piece together the listener suggested "Frankenhooker". This cult-classic features bad over the top acting, super crack, exploding hookers, Cronenberg nightmare creatures and more blue and purple lightning then you can shake a lightning rod at.

This week we're doing something different and playing Horrible Horror Jeopardy! Play along with Aaron, and the Dukes of Spook, Nachos McWerewolf and Cincinnati Jeff from the "Here Comes the Spooky Podcast" as they test their knowledge of all things Horrible Horror.

Top of the morning to ya, Moongoons. This week we're going to need more then the luck of the Irish to help us get through this week's movie. So grab a nice pint of Guinness and a shillelagh and get ready for the 2014 "Leprechaun: Origins", a movie that features a leprechaun that looks more like a grey hairless midget gorilla, gold heat vision, lame kills, terrible characters and some of the most nonsense made up lore ever heard. Sadly there's no pot of gold at the end of this rainbow, just a pot of hot steamy crap.

Netflix's “Texas Chainsaw Massacre”Horrible Horror Hall of Fame InductionBracket making for this year's Horrible Horror March Movie Madness Tournament of Awfulness

We're closing out black history month all sexy like by sinking our fangs into "Sista Vampires". A movie that tries to be a good vampire movie and a soft core porn movie but fails horribly at both. However, it does feature some sexy vampires that seem to have an aversion to clothes and only wear lingerie along with that it has surprisingly fun and awesome special effects. In the end when the sunsets will this movie be worthy of rising from its coffin to live on for eternity or does it deserve a steak in the heart?

ITS ALIVE! ITS ALIVE! and it has an afro. Its Black history month so this week we're flipping the switch and bringing to life "Blackenstein". This 1973 blaxploitation horror movie seriously might just be the worst movie we've ever had on the show. "Blackenstein" looks like it was edited and put together with all the subtly and finesse of a rusty meat clever. All the usual and terrible suspects are out in full force in this film, horrid and stiff acting, abysmal writing, lazy kills, poor special effects, and a plot so filled with holes and nonsense that even Dr. Frankenstein himself couldn't stitch it all together. Oh, and I can't forget the man with a tiger leg. Yes, this movie has a man with a tiger leg.

It's Valentine's Day and love is in the air. And there is no greater love than the love between a woman and her psychotic blood thirsty serial murdering doll. This week we're getting all dolled up for our date with the fourth installment in the "Childs Play" franchise "Bride of Chucky". This late 90's slasher features some solid kills, good humor, more explosions than you would expect and a great cast that includes a young Katherine Heigl, the late great John Ritter and the beautiful and talented Jennifer Tilly who really steals the show. So snuggle up with your valentine and get ready for a surprisingly fun ride.

Hey Moongoons, this week we're taming the listener suggested "Howling 2: Your Sister is a Werewolf". This late 80's werewolf movie is nearly beyond description. I seriously do not know what I to say about this insane follow up the classic original "The Howling".  It stars the iconic Christopher Lee and eye candy 80's tittie movie star Sybil Danning as an immortal werewolf queen. It also features horrible acting, a plot that makes no sense, bad 80's punk music, bad and cheesy special effects, dwarfs, and werewolves that look more like apes. And oh did I mention werewolf orgies? Yes you read that right werewolf orgies. When the full moon sets will this movie be a howling good time or does it deserve a silver bullet to the heart?

Class is in session, so take your seats and get ready for "Teacher Shortage". This indie slasher "stars" not one, not two, but three over the hill geriatric actress hobbling around, one of which is a Horrible Horror Hall of Famer. It also features some of the worst and most confusing lighting choices we've ever seen in a movie, terrible acting, poor writing, a bad and under developed plot, lazy and lame kills and one of the best looks sets of breasts we've seen sadly we don't get to see them bare. When the bell rings will "Teacher Shortage" rise to the top of the class or will it get an F and be sent to the principals office? 

Hold on to your butts Moongoons, you're in for one crazy wild ride. This week's movie is one of the most disgusting and offensive movies we've ever seen and its freaking hilarious and awesome! Join us as we take on the listener suggested "Chillerama". This ridiculously over the top anthology features giant sperm monsters, gay werebears, a jewish Frankenstien, Hitler, and a horde of over sex-ed horny zombies. All of this is brought to us by horror directors Adam Green, Adam Rifkin, Joe Lynch and Tim Sullivan. Get ready to be offended.

I have no words for describe this week's watch-a-long movie "Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare" other then this movie craps all over and completely removes any scariness that Freddy had left and turns him into a cartoon clown.  What should have been Freddy's big send off movie turned out to be the biggest pile of crap in the whole franchise. Instead of letting Freddy ride off in to that final dream on high, this movie leaves Freddy slinking away with his tail between his legs. We will forever curse the names of Rachel Talalay and Michael De Luca. Thank God Wes Craven came back to make "A New Nightmare" as a true and proper send off for one of horror's biggest icons.

This week we're watching "Wishmaster", a late 90's movie about an evil genie that grants wishes that no one actually wished for. Filled with an all-star cast of 80's and 90's horror icons and a combination of great practical effects along with some down right laughable digital effects. This wild movie is bookended by two of the most epic opening and closing scenes we have ever seen, making this ridiculously insane movie a reverse sandwich; all the meaty goodness is on the outside which sadly means that it's mostly just bland filler in between. 

Happy New Year Moongoons! We're bringing in 2022 in the craziest way we know how, by watching "Bloody New Year". This 1987 British horror movie may be the wackiest and wildest movie we've ever seen on the show. Zombies, ghosts, thugs, carneys, inanimate objects that have a life of their own and seaweed monsters are just some of the insane things that this movie throws at you. Pair all that with bad acting, no real plot to speak of, terrible low budget effects and you have the making of what might just be the perfect horrible horror movie. If "Bloody New Year" is not a cult classic, then it bloody well should be.

Christmas may be over but we're giving you one last Christmas present. This week we're putting a wrap on the "Silent Night, Deadly Night" franchise by unwrapping "Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker". After the horrible and inexcusable debacles that were "Silent Night Deadly Night 3 and 4" we could only imagine what an unspeakable sh!tfest we were walking into. This straight to video release features all the ingredients of the usual sh!t cakes that we're used to; poor script writing, bad acting, a loose plot, terrible name puns, a movie company desperately clinging to a dying franchise and pooping out another cash grab sequel, and a beloved aging actor that was just desperate for money. Yet something happened that we were not expecting, perhaps it was a Christmas miracle but somehow "Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker" turned out to be a wild, crazy and fun filled ride full of awesome death scenes and surprisingly good special effects. This fifth installment puts a fun and ridiculous bow on the lack luster and mishandled franchise that started off strong but went done the crapper faster then Santa Claus flying up a chimney.

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas boy and girls. Have you been naughty or nice? You do not want to be on this Santa's naughty list. This week we're sitting by the fire sipping on eggnog and unwrapping "Christmas Evil". This 1980 Christmas horror movie features a mentally broken man who turns himself into Santa Claus and an ending that you have to see to believe. Nether adult nor child is safe from his wrath if they made his naughty list. Will this killer Santa movie deliver the presents or will it get stuck in the chimney? 

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas boy and girls. Have you been naughty or nice? You do not want to be on this Santa's naughty list. This week we're sitting by the fire sipping on eggnog and unwrapping "Christmas Evil". This 1980 Christmas horror movie features a mentally broken man who turns himself into Santa Claus and an ending that you have to see to believe. Nether adult nor child is safe from his wrath if they made his naughty list. Will this killer Santa movie deliver the presents or will it get stuck in the chimney? 

It's now December so you know what that means, its time for Christmas horror movies. We're kicking off this year's Christmas Horror Movie Spectacular with the overly-woke feminist manifesto that is the 2019 "Black Christmas".  A remake that is not even a remake at all but just a sorry and lame attempt to cash in on the "Black Christmas" name, featuring an overly in your face, hit you over the head repeatedly feminist message, black inky goo, annoying characters and horrible plot hole filled writing. This is one Christmas present that we want to return.

Okay all you creatures of the night its time put on your red lip stick, pull up your thigh highs and tighten your corsets because it's time to do the Time Wrap Again. Join us this week for another watch-a-long episode as we watch and sing along to "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" a movie that Marshall historically can't stand. 

Do you like screaming, dark dirty houses that look like meth dens, the F word and ghost horses? Well then we found the movie for you. This year for Halloween we went big and are taking on Rob Zombie's "Halloween 2", a movie that is way more trick than treat. 

Do you have the time to listen to us whine about a terrible horror movie...about a man(?) that lives in a basket? That's right we're finally opening the wicker basket and taking on one of the all time greats in bad horror movie history, the 1982 "Basket Case".  This cult classic features terrible acting, bad writing, an awesome New York hotel owner, cheesy special effects and a glorious man perm mullet.

You opened the box and we came! Oh what sights we have to show you this week as we take on Hellbound: Hellraiser 2. Just like the puzzle box this movie looks good on the outside with its awesome special effects and great gore make-up but the more you open it the weirder and more confusing it gets and before you know it you're stick in a hell of confusing plots and nonsense. But hey it still looks good.