My Best Friend's Journal

As the 5th year of the journal comes to a close, Cam and Mike say goodbye while keeping the Yuletide gay. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight.

These days Mike's mostly mostly wearing cowboy boots and Cam's mostly wearing speedos but one question remains: how do they wear their penises? As the journal approaches it's final weeks, the boys manage to share some new ridiculous stories: Cam's musical theater-induced gay rage, Mike's festivities with FOX News, and a skydiving adventure to die for. Call us by our names and enjoy this penultimate episode of the ultimate podcast.

Mike and Cam each have their own ways of relieving stress. Luckily, neither way includes a grapefruit. This week's journal contains some dense... entries: Mike illustrates a toxic personality trait, helps Wibo catch the bus to Cuba, and somehow has his most outrageous experience yet with The Dog's Toupée.

Favorite Friend Gabriella and Aimee-Goldfish-F*ckface are in the studio (read: Gabriella's home) as MBFJ's final guests! We've got games (Buss or Puss; F*ck Marry, Murder), we've got stories (Aimee nearly turned Mike and Gabriella sh*t in a bag), we've got diapers (and not just for Cam). Grab your fish bowl, double line your trash can, and enjoy this very special episode.

Extrude your turkeys and hug your Mammaws because Thanksgiving has arrived once again! This week Cam is homo, homo on the range where the weird horse girls and geriatric donkeys play. In the journal Mike gets an unwanted call from prison, makes his game show debut and reunites with an old flame. Whether you're in it for the stuffing or humble pie, this episode is just gravy.

First, there was the "Calm vs Com" debacle of 2019. Then, there was the Great Soup Debate of 2020. Now, in the defining argument of 2021, MBFJ presents: When Does Autumn Actually Begin? In the journal, Mike shows his mom around New York, pays Wibo a visit that takes a dark turn, and kicks an A-lister out of his restaurant. This episode takes a gloomy turn, so take the theme song's advice and grab a drink or smoke some pot.

Tune in this week for an unruly amount of musical moments, a witch dentist, excessive use of the word urethra, homophobic tonsils, torn cherries, an unsent letter from Mike to his father, the lifecycle of a joint, a memoriam to a tragus, and sex at least 3 times. Listen up for a big announcement from the boys. As the saying goes, all gerd things must come to an end...

It was a big week for the boys' butts; Cam's was electrocuted and Mike's was interrogated. In the journal, Mike is bopping around the state of New York, improvising songs, auditioning ad nauseam, and not having sex. Mike's dad sends another letter, and the boys talk about seeing parents cry.

June busted out all over this week's episode: Mike received a letter from his father, bumped into the man who broke his heart on the subway, and tucked his panties into his friend's underwear... or something. The boys went on their infamous Fire Island adventure where terrible things happened in bushes and bathrooms alike, and Cam and Peter had a huge revelation.

There's nothing quite as d e l i g h t fu l as recording in the same room; Cam and Mike spent some time together in New York, and it was simply the best. In the journal Mike finds a new calling as a street performer, receives some perfectly on brand birthday gifts, and Blossom is mentioned enough times to make Mayim Bialik self destruct.

The boys are back from a brief weekend frolic and come baring gayest moments: Cam gained some admirers and Mike let his neurosis shine. In the journal Mike witnesses a coup, moons Sarah Jessica Parker and goes on the elusive 4th date. Meanwhile, Cam remembers a particularly scarring break up… but not the guys name.

Just like the good old days, Mike's hoping his mom skips this week's episode as he recounts an evening with a particularly substantial Gen Zer. In the journal Cam and Mike frolic in New York, Mike begins to date a new gentleman, and a certain dog dons his toupée once more.

Can a sunset be cinnamon? How exactly do the wheels on the bus go? Will Cam subscribe to Mike's future OnlyFans? These are the questions that cause a ruckus at the top of this week's episode. In the journal Mike finally returns to New York (and the sweet relief of his mundane city life), officiates his brother's wedding, and meets Cam in Brooklyn!

Stick a knife in Mike, he's done. That's right fairies and gentlefolk, The Dog's Toupée chapter of the journal is finally coming to a close. But have no fear, there's plenty of bleak bleakness to last until the bitter end... and maybe a few more shenanigans with Buster.

Inspired by Cam's birthday this week, the boys chat about the nostalgic baked goods of yesteryear as well as other, less wholesome things. In the journal the indignities of Mike's current gig know no limit, and The Boyfriend finds a way to punish Mike, while remaining annoyingly likeable.

Mike lost something and, in doing so, left Cam stunned (an MBFJ first!). Don't worry, it tain't lost anymore. Meanwhile in Denver, the aspens are quivering, the rain is pitter-pattering, and the poop is petrifying. This week in the journal, Blanche exhibits some shocking behavior, and Mike gets stuck in an awkward situation when The Dog's Toupée welcomes a surprise guest on tour.

The boys went camping and it got in-tents (wink wink). This week's special episode features MBFJ's first ever return guest, Cic, as the three boys drove from Colorado to Montana, camping their way through three National Parks. There were moose, bears, bison, twinks, and more gayest moments than stars in big sky country. Light a fire, roast some marshmallows, and enjoy this episode recorded from the road.

Banilda St. Margaret's. Chetekwirehauser. Sevastopol. Names of Midwestern towns or gibberish spewed by 2 gays with a podcast? This week, Cam auditioned for the first time in years and Mike tickled himself in the office. In the journal Mike has the honor and privilege of performing at a middle school dance, and later on things get steamy with Buster... sort of.

Cam is weak in the knees from gawking at some gorgeous glutes, and Mike is weak in the wrist as per usual (but the patrons behind him don't mind at all! Really! They can prove it!). In the journal Mike continues to be challenged by Blanche and a whole lot of aca-shenanigans. Meanwhile, a line is crossed with Buster.

A couple things are broken this week: Cam's gaydar and Mike's neck from some serious code switch whiplash. The good news is that the boys are continuing to learn new things every day including some surprising facts about babies, and an update on love languages. In the journal, rehearsals continue for The Dog's Toupée and Mike can't help but feel like he's in one giant stress dream.

Cam and Mike are both back from some travels and have learned a few things: Mike is an awful plus one, Cam has X-ray vision, and babies are dicks. In the journal Mike wraps things up in New York and heads to Wisconsin to begin The Dog's Toupée. Note: as this episode was being scheduled to go live, Mike learned that Mr. Landesman had passed away. This episode is dedicated to that slightly lovable old curmudgeon. May his booth always be available and his soda always be room temperature.

Looking for a urologist? Mike knows a place where only the best ones make the cut. Or it is a wilderness survival guide you need? Well, Cam can't help you. This week in the journal it's Mike's first Christmas in a family of 4 and everybody is dealing with the change in their own way. Just as Mike is considering his next escape, a new opportunity appears.

A gay walks into a bar... and has his straightest moment of the week. Another gay climbs into a bed... and has a three-and-a-half-way. Don't ask, just listen. In the journal Mike's dad is sentenced. It wasn't a super great day.

This week Mike's partying is catching up with him, but Cam's catching up with the parties. In the journal it's December 2016 and Mike's dad finally starts to fess up.

Big week for the boys! Between Mike's pride shenanigans in NYC and Cam's Gen Z party in Mexico, it was like Black Friday in Twinkville. In the journal Mike's in San Diego to get Mik and Cic hitched. Between the party fouls and the mucus plugs, it may be best to put your coffee down before listening to this one. Capiche?

People stick their fingers in a lot of gross places, but are bowling balls the grossest? Just how weird is it to sniff a stranger and talk about it? Will Mike ever be fully out to his family? Was November 2016 like, super awesome or nah? Good thing there's a podcast to help answer these questions.

The boys are back from their big gay train adventure with all of the salacious details. In the journal Mike auditions in an elevator, deals with a traumatic tragus, and most egregiously, forces his friends to watch improv comedy. For one episode only the boys are teaming up with Luxe Bidet. Listen up for a special giveaway!

Reunited once again in Colorado, the boys are back with some special guests! Erin with an E and Our Nicest Friend Sam bring a lot of joy to this week's episode as we chat about the origin of our four-way-friendship, the evolution of MBFJ and, of course, our Gayest Moments of the Week. By the end of the episode only one question remains... taint or no taint?

This week a doctor gave Mike some homophobic advice, and Cam danced like nobody was watching. In the journal we finally learn why things never feel quite right with Garth. Mike gains some new roommates and misses an opportunity to razzle-dazzle Richard Gere, while Cam gives improv a try. Catering at a billionaire's event unveils some insider gossip about American political royalty.

All aboard! Mike spent the week romping around like a real cad, and Cam spent it getting keen on a highfalutin skincare routine. In the journal there's jousting in Manhattan, boffing in a garden, and Cam and Peter's wedding! Grab yourself and iced f*ggot latte an enjoy the show.

It's episode 100 and to celebrate the occasion Mike and Cam are taking a look back. After some exciting life updates and an itchy GMOTW, the boys dive into some of the most memorable moments from the first 99 episodes.

For the first time since episode 60, the boys are together in the same room! Between Cam's double trouble, and Mike relearning how to behave in society, the boys prove they can still shock each other. In the journal Mike finishes his road trip and heads back to New York where Garth's waiting for him. Could someone check on Debbie Harry?

This episode was recorded 24 hours after the boys received their second vaccine doses! After experiencing some mild side effects, the boys compare how differently men and women handle discomfort (hint: women win). In the journal Mike begins a cross country road trip with Mik and Cic. Things get wild: piercings, bats, bucking bulls, and of course, the free clinic.

As Mike laments his soft teeth (f*ck you Big Floss!) and Cam revels in his nearly-normal social life, the boys take up another question: what was the most trouble they got in as kids? In the journal things are getting tasty with Garth.

This week Cam's feeling himself in a dressing room and Mike's feeling confused at a blood lab. In the journal Mike's career seem's to be going down the toilet, but his budding love life is making up for it. The boys dish on the best and worst sex of their lives.

The boys are half vaxxed and ready to... pretty much keep doing what they've been doing. Mike somehow combined a Butchest Moment with his GMOTW but it all comes out in the wash. Cam has figured out how to combine two of his greatest passions: wigs and plants. This week's topics include lost wedding rings, unfortunate tattoos, and how to be a good neighbor.

Mike's greatest fear came true: he's responsible for another living creature. As Cam prepares his wardrobe for summer, the boys begin to wonder where they fit into the world of gay tribes. In the journal Mike goes to Vancouver and bites off more than he can um, handle. An Alaskan adventure reminds the boys how grateful they are for every moment spent exploring the world.

The boys learned a few things this week. Cam took a trip to the Midwest where he learned all about the newest techniques in child rearing. Mike learned how to prick himself with high hopes for a summer of getting pricked. In the journal Mike meets a gentlemen who makes him gasp in horror and delight, and once again gets back on a cruise ship.

Cam went tailgating and Mike accidentally exercised and it was all far too masc. Thankfully the conversation got real gay, real quick. This week the boys chat about ballet boys, birthdays, and what makes smell such a special sense. In the journal Mike documented the event he erroneously labeled a "donkey punch" way back in episode 4, and we dive a little deeper into Wibo's mischief.

Mike's a father and Cam's getting adopted. Wait, what? This week the boys consider some strange daddy dynamics. In the journal Mike continues to be loud about the jobs he hates and Cam wonders, then promptly learns, what "couchmaggedon" means.

This week the boys put a moratorium on discussing matters of the fecal variety then promptly abandoned it. Cam remembers an uncomfortable week at Christian summer camp, and Wibo offers Mike some dating advice. In the journal Mike is auditioning, waiting tables, feuding with his neighbors, and refusing to shi*t in a bucket. Unsatisfied, Cam puts his own spin on those entries.

This week the boys felt a sense of duty, as well as a sense of doodie. They feel strongly about saving dogs in peril, but Mike has reservations about other, lesser creatures. In the journal Mike is feeling a certain way about boys both new and old, Cam explains the sponge-like nature of kids, and the boys wonder what makes someone a good person.

Ever been banned from your favorite convenience store? If you answered no, you're not drinking enough. This week Cam outs himself at the local grocer, and Mike finds photo proof of his storied drag history. In the journal, Mike's back in New York striking out on both the job and man hunt. *No Anne Hathaways were hurt in the recording of this episode.

This week, Cam is horrified by tacky taxidermy and Mike attempts to make sense of a surprising message from his mom. In the journal Mike gets busy in a car, inspiring Cam to dish about his own backseat exploits. Also, Mike receives flowers backstage, but never identified the sender... until his dad went to prison.

Are you someone who brushes your teeth while peeing? Would you do it in a public restroom? Why is a show that is primarily about pulling out so popular on Netflix? These are some of the hard-hitting questions the boys tackle at the top of the episode. In the journal, Mike isn't proud of his current show, but on the upside: he's got a new crush! As for Cam... well, he's been keeping himself busy and he's written a new song to explain how.

This week the boys have more gayest moments than they know what to do with, and the result is an in-depth consideration of cockrings, glassblowing lingo, and some artistic gay vernacular to use at dinner parties. In the journal Mike is back in Philly to start a new contract and shake up his look.

What a week: Clumsy Cam took a trip to urgent care while Manic Mike played with strangers' dogs. And oh yea, huge strides were made for LGBTQ Americans! In the spirit of gay patriotism, the boys debate which diva sang the best National Anthem. As Journal-Mike finishes his Florida contract, the boys discuss the delicate process of backdoor manscaping.

It's a brand new day and this week the boys are JAZZED. Mike reimagines the function of sperm banks and completely geeks out over Fran Lebowitz. Cam doubles down on his butch brand while also speculating about the future of the SATC franchise. And both boys couldn't help but wonder: how personal is too personal when it comes to self pleasure?

The US Senate gained two Democratic DILFs and the boys just wanted one measly little hour to celebrate, but NO. They were interrupted by breaking news. With plenty of time to doom-scroll later, they decided to dive back into 2016 where Mike is adoring his president, falling in love with weed, and hellbent on watching every Oscar-nominated movie. Oh, and also performing in a show he shouldn't have.

This week the boys were innocently chatting about some of their favorite content when the Great Soup Debate was rehashed and all hell broke loose. In the journal Mike's newest gig is off to a purr-fectly odd start.

In the final episode of 2020, the boys pick a few positive highlights from this rollercoaster of a year. Cam experienced some ugly behavior from a homophobe, while Mike exhibited some ugly behavior as he wrapped up 2015 with a moving day from hell.