Host Tim Pawlenty starts the hour joined by Dr. Mary Jo Kreitzer from the U of M for a conversation about mindfulness and self-care. Later, we discuss the strange phenomenon of cryptocurrency, hear from a passionate weed puller in Gibbon, Minnesota, and wonder how the government knows the 2020 census results were wrong.
In today's LYLWL Episode, I will be featuring Cal Voices, a nonprofit organization, that addresses all aspects of mental health and mental illness. Ms. Stephanie Ramos, Director of Cal Voices' Communications will be joining me for this important discussion. Understanding the importance of taking care of your mental health is vital to us having a balanced healthy life. Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. Mental health is important at every stage of life, and over the course of your life, you may experience struggles with some of the following early warning signs: behaviors can be an early warning sign of a problem:· Eating or sleeping too much or too little· Pulling away from people and usual activities· Having low or no energy· Feeling numb or like nothing matters· Having unexplained aches and pains· Feeling helpless or hopeless· Smoking, drinking, or using drugs more than usual· Feeling unusually confused, forgetful, on edge, angry, upset, worried, or scared· Yelling or fighting with family and friends· Experiencing severe mood swings that cause problems in relationships· Having persistent thoughts and memories you can't get out of your head· Hearing voices or believing things that are not true· Thinking of harming yourself or others· Inability to perform daily tasks like taking care of your kids or getting to work or schoolIf you or a loved one are experiencing any of the above signs, please contact your local health care provider or reach out to:CAL VOICES: INFO@CALVOICES.ORGNational Suicide Prevention Lifeline1-800-273-TALK (8255) TTY: 1-800-799-4889 suicidepreventionlifeline.org Live Online Chat
Today, Cami and Niki welcome adult performer, cosmic explorer, and spiritual babe, Rory Knox. She performed at the LA sex party where Cami performed as well. Surprise! Surprise! Anyway, it's been a long time coming, but we're finally here to talk about the p*rn industry. Yep! We get to learn things about the crew, how to get your butthole ready before play, and the techniques to getting good an*l. We talk about VR p*rn too and every scene starts with setting up clear boundaries between the performers. Listen Up: 00:00 Intro 04:09 How close the cameras get? 07:31 How did you get into the p*rn industry? 11:30 What's the normal camera crew during filming? 14:12 How do you make an*l feel good? 18:38 How do you connect with your fellow performers? 21:07 Is there a script? 25:30 Doing it with other female performers 26:32 Have you tried VR p*rn? 30:56 Do you orgasm every time? 35:52 Into non-monogamous relationships 43:35 Exchanging sexual energy 47:35 Pulling away from the hardcore stuff 51:36 Have you explored your erogenous zones? 53:56 What do you want to see less of? 56:30 Have you worked with big names? 58:02 Where do you take your porn career? 01:00:04 Getting comfort from performing in sex parties Follow Rory Knox on: Instagram Twitter Follow Us on: Instagram TikTok Twitter Patreon Website
"If you are in a Western life and, and are designed as an empath or a spiritual being that feels things very deeply, it is important for you to hold and maintain your peace and to send, to usher that energy to others that may be experiencing pain and suffering at any given time. If you were in a period in your life in which you are in pain or suffering, would you want everyone else in the world to be suffering along with you? Probably not. If you were sick, you wouldn't want all of your family members to be miserable and sad, just because you're feeling sick. You would want people to be in their peace. You would want people to hold that energy of joy, because that is what creates healing, energy and meaning and purpose." So says Carissa Schumacher. This is Carissa's second visit to Pulling the Thread, and I highly recommend listening to that introductory conversation if you're new to Carissa's work. Otherwise, buckle your seat belt! In this conversation, Carissa and I dive into many of Yeshua's recent transmissions including the necessity of moving empathy into compassion, the essential nature of suffering, the difference between purpose and vehicle, and the universal nature of intuition. We cover a lot of ground. I also wanted to tell you that due to popular demand, Carissa is going to lead a study group for her and Yeshua's book, THE FREEDOM TRANSMISSIONS, an essential read if you haven't yet picked up a book. This is going to be an online, four-day journey in June, with some visits from special friends, including Yeshua. I will be in the group to help facilitate the conversation, and hope to see you there. Carissa just put up a website, finally, where you can find all the information you need about her, Yeshua, The Freedom Transmissions book, journeys, and sessions. It is at THE SPIRIT TRANSMISSIONS DOT COM. Information about the online journey in June is also there! MORE FROM CARISSA SCHUMACHER: THE FREEDOM TRANSMISSIONS CARISSA SCHUMACHER'S WEBSITE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
In the second hour of The Vince Coglianese Show, Vince speaks with Congresswoman Kat Cammack (FL 3) about the baby formula shortage in most all of America except for on our Southern Border. Angela Morabito, spokesperson for the Defense and Freedom Institute joins the program to discuss the mass exodus of students from public schools. For more coverage on the issues that matter to you visit www.WMAL.com, download the WMAL app or tune in live on WMAL-FM 105.9 from 3-6pm. To join the conversation, check us out on social media: @WMAL @VinceCoglianese See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
It's not illegal to send food products to Russia under New Zealand's sanctions regime, but many exporters are boycotting the market in response to the invasion of Ukraine. The Detail talks to one apple grower about what that means for business.
A Teach Show not just a talk show Pulling no punches Liberty First NonCompliantMovie.com LibertyFirstSociety.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-krisanne-hall-show/support
Let's Grow Pulling Live May 16th with Clint Metting and reviewing The Puller's Championship --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/beer-money-pulling-team/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beer-money-pulling-team/support
Sponsored Episode: When an Elite Patron goes the extra extra mile then you have to do your very best! Pulling together multiple podcasting spheres Jason is joined by Matt Reedy to talk all things, Harryhausen, stop motion, ancient history, 80s ancient history, past, and modern viewing habits, and so much more! Films Mighty Joe Young It Came From Beneath the Sea The 7th Voyage of Sinbad Jason and the Argonauts Clash of the Titans Host: Jason Binge Movies comes to you from the last video store in the universe. Store manager Jason and his guests rank and review movies to determine which are most worthy of preservation for all time. At Binge Movies the very strange, deeply analytical, and highly ridiculous meet to make a movie review show unlike any other. Elite Patrons: Chris Williams Heather Sachs Joe Buttice Pete Nerdrovert Sponsor Your Own Episode Become a Patron Binge Movies Merchandise
This week on the podcast Alyssa discusses a brand new, multi-episode topic. Pulling from Nedra Glover Tawwab's book, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself, Alyssa discusses what boundaries are, why we need them, and some of the most prominent areas in which people struggle to set boundaries. Nedra Tawwab's Instagram: @nedratawwab Order Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Tawwab Check out the Light After Trauma website for transcripts, other episodes, Alyssa's guest appearances, and more at: www.lightaftertrauma.com Want to get more great content and interact with the show? Check us out on Instagram: @lightaftertrauma We need your help! We want to continue to make great content that can help countless trauma warriors on their journey to recovery. So, please help us in supporting the podcast by becoming a recurring patron of the show via Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/lightaftertrauma Transcript: Alyssa Scolari [00:23]: Hi everybody, welcome back to another episode of the Light After Trauma podcast. I am your host, Alyssa Scolari. Glad to be back here today. We are talking about boundaries which is in my opinion, one of the most important tools too, and not just healing, but also one of the most important tools that you can use in your everyday life as you go throughout your entire life. You need boundaries all of the time. Alyssa Scolari [00:50]: So before we get into that, just a few housekeeping things. If I have not gotten back to you yet, I know a few of you have reached out to me on Patreon. If I haven't gotten back to you yet, please forgive me. It's been a little bit hectic. I know that in the last episode, I talked about how I have really been struggling with depression. And at the time that I recorded that episode, I was saying like, "I just don't know why I feel this way, and I have done absolutely everything I can do to try to make myself feel better. I've tried to take care of myself to the best of my ability, and yet still, here I am so depressed." Alyssa Scolari [01:31]: Now in the time between when I recorded that episode, and when I am recording this episode, I have a lot more insight into why I was feeling the way that I was feeling. I thought that I understood maybe a part of why I was feeling really depressed with the anniversary of my mom getting really sick, but now that I've ... Well, I should say now that certain events in my life have unfolded, I can confidently say that I know more about why I was feeling so depressed, and I think that emphasizes the importance of hanging in there and riding the wave even if you don't understand what's happening because sometimes we don't understand what's happening, but it's important to hang in there anyway because I am on the mend. Alyssa Scolari [02:24]: Well, somewhat. I will continue to get better, and I now understand that I was gearing up for a goodbye. And I'm just going to briefly touch on what has happened. I will more than likely do an episode where I go into a little bit more depth about it, but I don't know for sure yet, I'm still trying to process what happened. And I'm still trying to grieve and figure out for myself what life is going to look like now because this truly was the hardest decision that I have ever made in my life. Alyssa Scolari [03:09]: I have made the decision to go no contact with my family and briefly, I had a falling out with my brother shortly after I recorded last week's episode. And due to the falling out with my brother, I terminated that relationship because I realized that it was not healthy for me at all, and hasn't been healthy for me for probably 30 years. And so I terminated that relationship. And as a result of terminating that relationship, my mother and I had a falling out about that. And it was really at that point that I knew for me that these relationships aren't going to work in my life no matter how much I wish that they would. Alyssa Scolari [04:12]: So I realize that it's time, it's time to walk away, it's time to say goodbye. It's time to step back from all of this, and as much as it hurt me, I don't question whether or not I did the right thing. I know that I have done the right thing. I don't question that because it was so harmful for me to continue in relationships where I can't be my authentic self, and so I had to walk away and it's ironic I think that this episode, we are talking about boundaries because this was a result. Alyssa Scolari [04:57]: This incident was a result of me trying to set boundary after boundary that just wasn't working and when it comes to family conflict or any kind of conflict, going no contact like right now, I think we are really in cut you off culture. "Well, you're not doing things my way, so I'm just going to cut you off." And a lot of people do that and that's passive aggressive when we're not actually explicitly stating the problem, that can be pretty passive aggressive, but cut off or cutting somebody off, not this cutoff culture that we live in where we're so quick to just be like, "I'm done with you." Alyssa Scolari [05:41]: Making the decision to go no contact with somebody or cut somebody off is typically or should be if exercised in the appropriate way, it should be a decision that comes after years and years or not even years, but after multiple failed attempts at trying to repair the relationships or trying to establish boundaries in the relationships, right? That's when we start talking about, "Do I even want to be in this relationship, friendship, et cetera, if things aren't improving?" So when I say that I went no contact, I by no means want to give the impression that this was an impulsive decision or something that I have done without ever really trying to fix the problem. Alyssa Scolari [06:30]: This is something that for me personally has been 30 years in the making. And again, I don't question whether I did the right thing or the wrong thing. I know it was the right thing for me, but there is a heavy amount of grief there just because it was the right decision doesn't mean that it hasn't been really difficult for me. There's a lot of grief, there's a lot of pain, there's a lot of anger and it feels like I've been preparing for it this whole last month with how depressed I was feeling. Alyssa Scolari [07:13]: I started reading Harry Potter again and mind you, I don't like J.K. Rowling, and I do not buy things now that support her. I have the books Harry Potter is, and always will be one of the most important parts of my childhood and my adulthood apparently. So I don't like Joanne Rowling. She is a trans exclusionary, radical feminist. She is extremely transphobic. She is very, very harmful to the transgender community, so don't support her at all as an aside, but I have been reading Harry Potter and Harry Potter is something that got me through so much when I was younger. So, so much. Alyssa Scolari [08:03]: This boy that has been hurt time after time after time and had nobody there or seemingly nobody there, but persisted anyway. And I started picking up those books again recently, and I've been really, really into them and just really drawn into to that world. And I think because emotionally speaking, there are so many parallels with Harry Potter's worlds and mine, and so in a way it feels like I knew this was coming. Alyssa Scolari [08:38]: I think my body was just preparing and then it happened, and I feel a lot of things, grief and relief. The whole gamut of emotions is what I feel. So I have been really just taking time to heal and recover and learn how to move through my life, and I guess just heal. That's the bottom line, I'm figuring out how to heal. So if I'm less responsive on Patreon, bear with me. If I'm less responsive on Instagram, also bear with me. Alyssa Scolari [09:19]: I am just taking my time to move through all of the feelings as they come, and we will see where I'm at next week. I will, of course update you on how I'm feeling and things of that nature, but that is what happened. I had to go no contact with my family and it sucked. It sucked, bottom line. So enough about that. Let's get into what we're talking about today, and what we're talking about today is boundaries as I mentioned. Alyssa Scolari [09:50]: So boundaries is, or boundaries are the one thing that I think so many people hate when it comes to therapy and healing and recovery because they are the hardest things to set. I believe, especially for trauma survivors who have typically had some part of our bodies or minds controlled by somebody else, trauma survivors who have been made to feel like their body isn't their own or their voice doesn't matter. We really struggle with boundaries, and I really struggled with boundaries. Alyssa Scolari [10:31]: I once had a supervisor tell me several jobs ago that I had terrible boundaries. Actually, she didn't say I had terrible boundaries. She said I had shitty boundaries, yelled at me and told me that I had boundaries. I was horrified by that. I was super young. I was super new in the field, and I look back at that and I'm like, huh? She was right. Now, don't get me wrong. She was so, so wrong to say that, and it was so inappropriate of her to say that, and I was so angry at how she said that to me, but she was right, she was absolutely right. Alyssa Scolari [11:15]: And I have had to work so hard over the last several years to make my boundaries healthier. I believe that boundaries are a work in progress. I think we are always working on them, and I don't think we ever get to the space where we're like a hundred percent perfect in all of our boundaries. I don't know, maybe we do, but I've never met anybody who's a hundred percent perfect in all of their boundaries, but it's something to always be worked on because at the end of the day, boundaries are the gateway to healing, they are the gateway to peace. Alyssa Scolari [11:53]: They are the gateway to good and happy and healthy relationships with ourselves, and others. Boundaries are everything. I firmly believe that, and so many other therapists out there also believe that. So we are talking about this right now. What are boundaries? Why do we need them? How do I know if I have poor boundaries? What do I do if I have terrible boundaries? How do I get better? Why is this so scary for me? How do I move past the anxiety around setting boundaries? Alyssa Scolari [12:30]: We're talking about all of it, and we are not going to be able to fit all of it into one episode. So this is going to be a multiple episode topic, but we're getting through it because I think that this is one of the most useful tools to have in your tool belt. Dare I say it is the most useful tool, at least for me, it's been the most useful. Absolutely. So over the course of the next few episodes, I am going to be pulling a lot of information from one of my favorite books about boundaries, and the author of this book is Nedra Glover Tawwab, and if you don't follow her on Instagram, you absolutely should. Alyssa Scolari [13:21]: She is incredible. She has 1.5 million followers. She is phenomenal, a phenomenal therapist. So I will link her Instagram as well as the book in the show notes. So you can feel free to go and check that out, but the title of her book is called Set Boundaries, Find Peace, A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself. This book is amazing. It's not super long. I have listened to it several times on Audible, so I just listened to it in my car when I'm driving. Alyssa Scolari [13:58]: I highly recommend this book. It was truly life changing for me, and I think that this book was part of the reason why I was able to get to a place where I said no more to my relationship with my family. So let's get right into it. The first question being, what are boundaries? And I think this is one of the first chapters in Nedra's book Set Boundaries, Find Peace. What in the world are boundaries? How do we define boundaries? Right? Alyssa Scolari [14:30]: That word in itself when I bring it up to people, a lot of people, they know what they are, but have trouble putting words to it. So we're going to break it down very simply which is boundaries are rules or expectations that need to be met in order for relationships whether that relationship is with ourselves or with other people. Rules, expectations that need to be met in order for relationships to operate in a healthy manner. In order for us to be happy, boundaries are required. Alyssa Scolari [15:15]: So let's break that down a little bit, right? It might make sense at first to be like, "Okay, well, I understand why boundaries might be needed with other people, but what do you mean myself? How do I set boundaries with myself?" And sometimes, that looks like getting on a schedule, having a routine, making time to detox from technology, right? Getting off the phone, getting off the computer. All of these little things that we do are self-boundaries. Alyssa Scolari [15:49]: They're boundaries that we have with ourselves to keep ourselves happy and healthy. So why do we need them? Why on earth do we need boundaries? Well obviously, it keeps us happy and healthy, but what happens when we don't have them? What happens if we don't have boundaries that are strong enough or boundaries that are too strong? Well, according to Nedra, relationships that are complicated or relationships that don't have great boundaries are among the leading causes of anxiety. Alyssa Scolari [16:29]: So poor relationships, relationships that aren't healthy, relationships that need improvement on boundaries are one of the biggest causes of anxiety. And that makes so much sense because so many people come to therapy, not just in a vacuum, right? People don't come to therapy and just say, "Well, I am struggling with depression." Or, "I have an eating disorder." No, behind the depression, behind the eating disorder, behind the anxiety disorder is typically, "Well, I have problems with this person and I have issues at work, and my boss is making me work 60 hours a week, and my mother won't stop calling me and my partner won't let me talk to other people of the opposite sex." Alyssa Scolari [17:19]: People come to therapy with problems that involve more often than not other people. I have never sat down with a client who came to me with a problem, and the problem was just a little, just about them. This problem almost always encompasses other people. So when we don't have boundaries, we don't have healthy enough boundaries, we tend to fail in our relationships or our relationships don't serve us, and this can exacerbate mental health disorders, and especially for somebody who has trauma, has a history of trauma, this can really exacerbate PTSD symptoms. Alyssa Scolari [18:05]: So how do you know if you are somebody who doesn't have great boundaries? Well, a lack of boundaries in itself can trigger an onset of tons of negative things, right? Including resentment and anxiety and depression and avoidance can also include overwhelm, feelings of burnout. These are all signs that boundaries are poor. I learned in grad school, I think one of the most important things that I learned in grad school and a tool that I keep in my back pocket to this day is my professor said it, Dr. Jim Hall who is amazing, love Dr. Hall. Alyssa Scolari [18:57]: He said to us one day in class, "If you are feeling burned out, if you are feeling stressed out, if you are starting to resent some of the clients that you are working with, that is a sign that you need better boundaries in your life." And I have never forgotten that. So this day, if I find myself getting not necessarily resentful because I don't really resent my clients, but sometimes if I get frustrated, if I feel like I'm working really, really hard, and this person isn't necessarily like meeting me halfway, or if I start to get burned out and I start to feel really, really overwhelmed, I know that that problem is my problem. Alyssa Scolari [19:46]: That's not a problem for my clients. The problem isn't my clients, it's never my clients. If I'm feeling some kind of way, that is because my boundaries aren't good enough or because something is going on within me, it's not the client's fault at all. That is a sign that my boundaries aren't as great as they could be. And so to this day, every time I felt this way, I have made it a point to readjust my boundaries, tighten them up a little, and then I feel so much better, and I enjoy my job so much more because here's the thing, right? Alyssa Scolari [20:22]: We live in this world where we almost shame selfishness in some ways. In some areas, we shame selfishness, right? Oh, you're being so selfish. Oh, why don't you care about anybody else? And then of course, in other ways, I feel like we live in a very, at least in the United States, right? It's very every man for himself, every woman for himself, every person for themselves. But in some ways, I find when it includes mental health and relationships, interpersonal relationships, it is more along the lines of we get shamed for putting ourselves first. Alyssa Scolari [21:11]: Oh, well, how could you not pick up the phone when that person needs you? You're not a good person. Why aren't you, why aren't you helping them move this weekend? And the thing about that is at the end of the day, you cannot save anybody else if you don't put your oxygen mask on first. You can't help other people if you can't help yourself and you will continue to have relationships where you feel resentful, or you feel like your needs aren't getting met until you decide that you have to come first, until you decide that you looking out for you is not selfish. Alyssa Scolari [21:58]: It is self-care. It is a requirement for survival for thriving. You have to look out for you first. Now, this is a really hard concept for people who are chronic people pleasers. I was raised as a people pleaser. I was raised that it doesn't matter what's going on in your life, it doesn't matter what's happening in your world. You need to drop everything and be there for other people, and if you don't, it's selfish, it's not right. It's not okay. Alyssa Scolari [22:34]: This is very, very hard to do, right? Because for those of us who are people pleasers, as soon as somebody needs us, or as soon as the going gets tough, the first thing to go on our list is usually self-care. We will put self-care so low on the totem pole because we are trying to meet the needs of everybody else first. This is often really true with moms. Moms, dads, parents. This is so true. Alyssa Scolari [23:01]: We will put, I say we like I'm a parent. I'm a dog mom, okay? It counts. We will put our needs so low on the totem pole. I have to feed the kids. I have to get them dressed. I have to take them to their after school sports. And we during none of that make time for ourselves in the slightest. Now listen, I'm not saying it's easy. Being a mom, I think is the hardest job in the whole world. Alyssa Scolari [23:36]: Being a parent in general I think is the hardest job in the entire world. Of course because of stigma, right? Because of the patriarchy, women are expected to do much more and often are doing so much more. So I think a lot of that pressure falls more on women and women are more likely to push their self-care to the side. So yeah, it's especially difficult when you have kids, when you have little ones who need you constantly to make time for yourself, but again, you can't show up as your best self to anybody if you're not putting yourself first. Alyssa Scolari [24:19]: And when we're not putting ourselves first and we're not getting our needs met, then we start to resent other people. And we feel like, "well, I'm always there for other people. Why isn't anybody showing up for me?" Because the other thing is, is that people benefit from you having poor boundaries, right? Nedra says this in the book and it is so important to remember. People benefit from you not having appropriate boundaries because then they can get more from you, and it's not necessarily an inherently bad thing. Alyssa Scolari [24:54]: I'm not saying that the people in your life are like, "Oh, I can see that Jane has terrible boundaries, and I'm going to milk her for everything she is worth." No, but it's nature, right? People test limits. People see, they want to see how much they can get away with. So people are going to take advantage of your poor boundaries and then you're going to feel resentful, you're going to feel overwhelmed, you're going to feel burnt out. Alyssa Scolari [25:24]: You're going to start to get very anxious, and you're either going to start to get angry with people, or you're going to become very depressed and you're going to feel lonely, and perhaps might isolate. Maybe you get a lot of anxiety because you don't want to talk to anybody. You don't want to open your inbox. You don't want to look at all your emails. You start to have panic attacks on Sunday nights before work the next day because you don't want to know all the work that your boss is going to put on you. You avoid, right? Alyssa Scolari [25:57]: You avoid. You either lash out at people or you avoid and you try to disappear. Now, I took a survey on my Instagram in a way to prepare for this episode because I thought it would be interesting to get all of your feedback. And I asked the question when you are in a conflict with somebody, what are you more likely to do? And the options were avoid conflict at all costs, set boundaries with the person and talk it through or cut the person off completely. Alyssa Scolari [26:40]: Now much to my surprise, nobody said cut the person off completely. Nobody said that. A few people said set boundaries, but the overwhelming majority of you, I think it was 88% of you said I will avoid conflict at all costs. And I see this so many times in my practice too. People will come in and they will avoid conflict and avoid conflict, but then their mental health will get worse and worse and worse. And honestly, I think that's what was happening to me over this last month. Alyssa Scolari [27:23]: I was avoiding ending things with my family. And so my mental health got worse and worse and worse and worse until I couldn't take it anymore, and I had to decide that I needed to come first. So this happens all of the time. Now there are three different types of boundaries. And first, we have poorest boundaries. Okay? So what are poorest boundaries? These are often people with weaker boundaries like in the sense that they have a lot of trouble setting those boundaries. Alyssa Scolari [28:03]: So they're too involved with other people. They will ruin their own day just so they can be there for somebody else. They will cancel their doctor's appointment just because somebody calls them and says, "Hey, I need you. Do you have time to talk?" These people are highly dependent on other people and they have a really difficult time with feeling highly anxious, overwhelmed, very burnt out. Alyssa Scolari [28:31]: These are your people pleasers. Very difficult time saying no, always wanting to help others. Yes, I'll help you move. Yes, I'll cancel my plans with my family and I will help you move. Yes, I will drive to your house for the millionth time even though you never drive to my house, and I won't say anything about it, but I am going to feel resentful. These are people who often struggle with like codependency and enmeshment. Alyssa Scolari [28:56]: They become extremely attached to other people. In general, they just struggle to say no. I just can't say no to anybody, and then we have healthy boundaries. Healthy boundaries is exactly what it is. It's when you are setting rules and expectations with yourself and other people without your past trauma showing up to the interaction. I hope that makes sense. This is something that I have taken from Nedra's book, and this is what she says, and I think that it's absolutely brilliant. Alyssa Scolari [29:42]: You are setting rules and expectations without letting your pain from the past, your trauma from the past show up. Without letting the fact that you have been abandoned as a child, the fact that your father left when you were younger, the fact that you have a history of sexual abuse, that's staying in the past and here you are setting roles and expectations without apologizing, without over explaining, without feelings of immense guilt or anxiety. Those are healthy boundaries. Alyssa Scolari [30:20]: That is what we are all striving for, easier said than done. I am much better at setting boundaries, but I sure as heck struggle with guilt and anxiety almost every time that I set them. And I think that this is just something that gets better over time and with practice. So then we have rigid boundaries. This is when your boundaries are just like entirely too strong. Alyssa Scolari [30:48]: Strong might not necessarily be the right word. I would say more rigid or inflexible boundaries. So when your boundaries are just entirely too rigid, and this can often look like folks who have like an all or nothing mentality sometimes. It's like I never, ever, ever will allow somebody to borrow money from me, never. And they just take that boundary to the grave. There is zero flexibility, there is zero chance of like, "Okay, well, what if your child is hard up for money and needs gas in their car? Are you going to say no? They need gas in their car to be able to get to work. What are you going to say?" Alyssa Scolari [31:36]: These people don't have space for that. They can't think of a gray area. It's like, "I am absolutely not going to do this or I am absolutely always going to do this. This could also be the person who go to the gym every single day. Now that could also be eating disorder related, but if this person's just like every single day, I have to be at the gym from 4:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. and they are so inflexible. Alyssa Scolari [32:04]: Something pops up, there's an emergency. I can't come, I'm at the gym. I can't come, I'm at the gym. There's no wiggle room in their boundaries. People who have rigid boundaries will often cut people off. Again, and I said this earlier. They will cut people off without making attempts to set healthy boundaries. They don't want to listen to anyone else's input, and really what rigid boundaries do is it protects people from getting too close to other people. Alyssa Scolari [32:38]: It protects from building relationships, it puts a wall between them and other people. So those are the three different types of boundaries. Hopefully if you have listened to this, you can identify which boundary you have and which category that you fall into. Now, Nedra in her book, and I think that this is really important to mention. She also goes on to say that there are a few of the major areas that people struggle with when it comes to boundaries. Alyssa Scolari [33:18]: And some of those areas are family, and I think this will make sense to a lot of us on this podcast. It is one of the hardest things to do to set boundaries with your family. Whether that's you can't keep giving money to your sister, or you don't want your brother living with you anymore, or you don't want your mother telling you how to parent your children. You don't want her input, things like that can be very, very difficult for people. Alyssa Scolari [33:54]: Work. So many people go to therapy because their work is so stressful. People really struggle to set boundaries with work especially in this new work from home environment that most of us have fallen into since COVID, or not most, many. It can be really, really difficult to make that determination of when am I going to stop checking my emails? When am I going to make a decision that I'm not going to pick up the phone when I boss is calling me? At what time is that going to stop? Alyssa Scolari [34:34]: Romantic relationships, this is also another huge one. People struggle if their partners are doing something that they don't appreciate, or that is harmful to them. People struggle, and I think a lot of that is the fear of abandonment. I don't want them to leave. Friends, very similar thing. People really struggle to set boundaries for friends because they're afraid of how people are going to react, and technology. Alyssa Scolari [35:02]: This is one that I think before really doing a deep dive into boundaries, I would've never even thought about, but it goes back to what I was saying in the beginning of the podcast where boundaries are really important to be able to set with yourself as well. How many hours a day am I going to be on my phone? How often am I going to check my email? Am I going to pick up the phone every time somebody calls me or am I going to let it go to voicemail, see what they want, and then get back to them when I have the space for it? Alyssa Scolari [35:36]: I've had to do a lot of hard work with technology in terms of just not scrolling TikTok at night, because all the blue light will keep you up for so much longer, and I struggle with insomnia. Just spending less and less time on social media because it depresses me. It really does, and also with emails and responding to people, feeling that need to just respond to people all the time versus looking at their texts or their voicemails, and then getting back to them when it's convenient for me. Alyssa Scolari [36:11]: If it's not, an emergency that I absolutely have to be there for like a life or death situation. So those are some of the main areas that Nedra Tawwab says that people struggle. And I believe it, I believe it. I think it's really, really fascinating. So that is a lot of information that I just threw at you. If I haven't convinced you already to get Nedra's book, this is me saying you totally should because it's a really, really good book, and I'm sure as I have spoken today, you all have been able to see a little bit of yourselves in what I am saying. Alyssa Scolari [36:54]: I am somebody who has poorest boundaries or I did have poorest boundaries. I think I have worked my way towards healthier boundaries, but I am just such a people pleaser. So this is something that I've had to work really hard on. It's been very difficult, but extremely rewarding because my life, my business, my relationships have been so much healthier as a result of working on these boundaries. Alyssa Scolari [37:25]: So this is not the end of our conversation my friends. This is only the beginning of us talking about boundaries. We've learned a lot about how people struggle, the different types of boundaries, and now, we are also going to talk about how we set those boundaries, what some of the fears are, how some people might react. We're going to get into more of the practical stuff. Alyssa Scolari [37:53]: I am really enjoying talking about this, and I hope that you have enjoyed listening. If you like what you hear, please feel free to leave us a review and a rating. It goes a really long way in helping to increase visibility of the podcast, and if you haven't done so already, you can also feel free to check out the Patreon link in the show notes. There you can donate to the podcast if you are liking what you hear. Alyssa Scolari [38:22]: Even a little bit goes a really long way in terms of helping to make this podcast a well-oiled machine. I am so grateful for the Patreon members that we have. Also, if you are a Patreon member, you can make a special request for episode topics. You can feel free to reach out to me and say, "Hi, I would love to hear from you." Take care, have a wonderful week, and I am holding you in the light. Alyssa Scolari [38:48]: Thanks for listening everyone. For more information, please head over to lightaftertrauma.com, or you can also follow us on social media. On Instagram, we are @lightaftertrauma and on Twitter, it is @lightafterpod. Lastly, please head over to patreon.com/lightaftertrauma to support our show. We are asking for $5 a month which is the equivalent to a cup of coffee at Starbucks. So please head on over again, that's patreon.com/lightaftertrauma. Thank you, and we appreciate your support. Speaker 2 [39:25]: [Singing].
Fred Tomaselli's work reveals a uniquely American vision. Growing up in Southern California, he was influenced by both the manufactured unreality of theme parks and the music and drug countercultures of Los Angeles during the 1970s and 80s. His distinctive melding of these traditions coalesces in an updated, personalized, folk-driven vision of the American West. Tomaselli amasses pills, herbs and other drugs, along with images of plants, flowers, birds, and anatomical illustrations carefully cut from books. Pulling from this visual archive, Tomaselli creates baroque paintings that draw upon a range of art historical sources and decorative traditions—like quilts and mosaics. Combining these unusual materials and paint under layers of clear epoxy resin, Tomaselli's paintings explode in mesmerizing patterns that appear to grow organically across his compositions in a multilayered coexistence of the real, the photographic, and the painterly. Friends for nearly three decades, in 2009 Zuckerman organized a major exhibition of Tomaselli's work that traveled to two venues including the Brooklyn Museum. In this episode he and she talk about being shaped by cars, surfing, Disneyland and Orange County in general, their shared love of nature, losing yourself in music, mind altering substances and experiences, The New York Times and current events!
Tony La Russa actually had a pretty good managerial weekend. Dallas Keuchel doesn't really agree, though. Let's hear how the two sounded in postgame comments as they were likely speaking to each other through the media.
00:00.00 mikebledsoe Welcome to Monday morning with Mike and max and today we're gonna be talking about order and chaos. You know I think that there's a place for both and society as a whole likes to swing really really hard and me as an individual I do the same thing max. Thanks for joining for another Monday as we discuss topics that seem highly abstract and somehow try to get it to become practical for the listeners. 00:28.90 Max Shank Yeah I think order and chaos could be the name of our show because it's really quite a chaotic ride I think it's an excellent train of thought that gets frequently derailed. But that's part of what makes it fun and interesting and not only do I think order and chaos are ah definitive of each other they define each other i. I think what you said is perfect. We we swing back and forth really hard from more order to more chaos and we try to get tighter control and then more freedom and ah you know more openness or more boundary setting and that back and forth ah can be. Can be really exciting and in societies actually None of the things that's really important about playing and especially wrestling roughhousing that sort of thing is understanding the line between fighting and play fighting and ah. Being able to introduce chaos in a safe environment because the whole purpose of society is to create order reduce chaos as much as possible so you need something to dose you. With chaos. So you don't become um a a sissy and sad. 04:01.40 mikebledsoe Yeah, that and it yeah said I mean the like for me creativity happens after things get shaken up I think about um, no structure is the structure forever. Um, we the human spirit desires for change because we also live in an environment. Ah, ah, ever present change and um, you know we got to if we want to have some stability. We do need to set up structures in society. We need to set up structures in our own life. But we also need to recognize when it's time to assess and reassess these things and I think creating those safe spaces like you're saying where we can't introduce chaos in small amounts or over a short period of time in ah and a confined space. Ah. Really allows us to not have to go through really big societal bits of chaos which I think we're experiencing right now. There's when I think about rites of passage for young men that has been. Ah, regularly conducted over Millennia and it hasn't really happened in american society in the last few generations and so nature comes along and says hey um. Noticed that you guys haven't introduced any of this planned chaos. Ah you know a rite of passage for a man usually involves being out of control and and being needing to submit to the universe and. And usually facing death in some way or the acknowledgement of death and it can feel It's a big pattern interrupt and pattern interrupts tend to be a little chaotic in nature and when a society or an individual. Has been comfortable for too long in their order then nature is going to come along and shake it up because everything's always changing and we may be fighting to keep it the same but at some point the environment's going to break the the individual or the culture. 08:24.35 Max Shank Yes, and you also sacrifice some of the excitement of life if you imagine someone who was born in a castle isolated from most of the world. There's going to be None of order. None exposure to chaos and they may live their whole life in that environment and then have a child of their own that lives in that environment but eventually ah just like the seasons change and ah different. Creatures Rise up and overcome in different parts of the ecosystem. Ah the people in power never stay up there for long and the more you try to create order the more fragile that individual becomes because they're not dosed. With that chaos and that stimulus because our bodies and minds are always adapting via the said principle. So We're always adjusting to what's going on. So if you have no exposure to Chaos. You will be much more fragile. Ah. 10:54.40 mikebledsoe Um, yeah. 10:50.13 Max Shank By by definition. 11:18.74 mikebledsoe Yeah I'm listening to a book by Ray Dalio right now I think it's called the rise of the rise of nation rise and fall of nations or something like that and he he he's talking about the 5 cycles through a society and. 11:10.69 Max Shank M. 11:24.51 Max Shank Ah. 11:58.14 mikebledsoe You know if you've read the fourth turning they they identify None cycles. He identifies 5 and these cycles last about 100 years or the the cycles last about 2025 years and there's 4 or 5 of them depending on which expert you ask? and basically what happens is it. Ah, you the society falls into ah each generation becomes more and more chaotic until it's unbearable and that everyone who's like and it usually ends in civil war and external war and then everybody says. Fuck it. We need. We need more order. You know the the economics are broken where everyone's fighting with each other It's it's highly disordered and then what you end up with is a whole yeah a whole generation comes comes along and is like starving for it. So they. 13:04.10 Max Shank The big prick comes in. 13:19.11 Max Shank Yeah, one and it's ah. 13:52.30 mikebledsoe They're wanting I mean that that's basically how Hitler got the power right? Germany was experiencing an incredible amount of chaos and this guy says you know what? if you just do what I say then things will be better and and they were for a while. There's there's there's videos of like. 13:33.19 Max Shank Exactly. 13:52.97 Max Shank And it's frightening. 14:31.72 mikebledsoe The the population gathering and arenas and exercising together. They were like very lockstep and everything was really good for a short period of time until the 1 person who was in charge decided to fucking go nuts and one of the thing. 14:34.17 Max Shank Right? Where there's there's like a line where people are like you know we're really glad that this ah this dick really like got things under control. You know it was a little too chaotic I felt afraid there was pillaging and rioting and then that dictator. Crosses the line and everyone's like whoa, not like that and then and then it goes back to you know, just that did that to that to da today. 15:47.14 mikebledsoe Um, well the the danger is is when you're when you're in ah and a highly ordered society like that the the amount of thinking by the individual is reduced because they don't have to make as many choices and so. They're less likely.. There's that slippery slope they're less likely to catch poor judgment from the top because it's been so good and just one value judgment at a time and next thing you know you're just killing a bunch of people. 16:15.69 Max Shank Yo absolutely and you you can understand why that would attract people I remember watching this series. Excellent series. The dictator's playbook. The episode on Mussolini he's you know, given a speech from some balcony and he goes None italy None decision and everyone goes. Yeah, they are. 17:51.80 mikebledsoe Yeah. 17:24.61 Max Shank Onboard They want a so bad like None maybe hundreds. It's so many people and they were so excited that he's like look I will call the shots. You guys don't want to trouble yourselves with these minor details I will take care of everything and. If you've had a good lady or significant other in your life having someone make decisions for you effectively in ah is amazing like there are certain things like some. You have this comparative advantage where someone else now is responsible for stocking the kitchen stocking the bathrooms getting this taken care of like you know you have that division of management basically and it feels amazing. Like if you get the right person to make your decisions you are on Easy Street. It's just ah, absolute power right. 19:55.50 mikebledsoe Yeah, well I think I think the the happy medium with that because I agree is is you know when you have for instance in the United States you have if you had None person if we had a dictatorship you have None person making the. Decision for 350000000 people. It's not possible for the human mind to be able to grasp the actual impact of the decision on on the individuals and this makes me think about Dunbar's number you know was a. 20:42.37 Max Shank Oh. 21:10.94 mikebledsoe Around None is about as many people as 1 person can keep up with in relationship after that you know people all kind of start looking the same. You don't make as much eye contact. You're not going to remember their names. You're you're not in community and this is why a lot of churches. 21:07.45 Max Shank Oh. 21:49.94 mikebledsoe What they do is they break up after they get to about 150 members and then another church will open up. Ah yeah, and so these like that most churches do that. But in some churches become megachurches and have 10000 members or something like that. 21:37.77 Max Shank It's like setting up little franchises with limits. 21:56.53 Max Shank Yeah. 22:28.92 mikebledsoe And that requires a higher level of leadership and hierarchy hierarchy has to be built into the system in order for that to happen. So when there's and the same thing for Crossfit Gyms all these crossfit gyms sprung up a decade ago and we all watched it happen. It. 22:10.19 Max Shank Right. 23:05.62 mikebledsoe It was a very community driven thing and when it got about 150 members 1 member goes I could do this better. They go open another gym and then they pull some of the gym members away and it's it's just like church and. 22:53.27 Max Shank Ah, crossfits are like church well said I agree there are a lot of similarities there I'm on board. 23:41.28 mikebledsoe Ah, yeah, there's a lot of similarities. Yeah, but I think it's a really great demonstration of Dumbbar's number and that the person the person that I'm gonna trust to help. 23:29.31 Max Shank O. 24:13.36 mikebledsoe So make decisions for me right? There's somebody on my team and my company my girlfriend my close group of friends. You know, somebody's organizing a ah ah week long vacation I don't even ask me any questions. They just tell me how much money to throw in the pot and then I show up I'm okay with that. But when we start dealing with people I've never met before and have never met me and now they're making decisions on my behalf I think that becomes problematic. 24:31.63 Max Shank Well, yeah I mean that's that's trust right there I mean who who you choose to trust is a really important choice choosing the right doctor instead of the wrong doctor. Choosing the right trainer instead of the wrong trainer right? Coach instead of the wrong coach and it's not that there it was an absolute good and an absolute bad.. It's just whether or not the resultant partnership or collaboration is gonna be constructive or not because. Some people respond really well to ah stick-based motivation and competitiveness and some people respond way better to carrot-based motivation and creativity and Non-competitiveness. So just finding the right? um. Partnership there like who do you trust with that area of your life is massive. 26:59.62 mikebledsoe Yeah, and going into trust I think one of the reasons we're we're in a massive amount of chaos in our society right now is because there is a lack of trust you know nobody like like the trust of the media is an all time low. 26:43.99 Max Shank Um, well yeah. 27:37.62 mikebledsoe Politicians is an all time low you you ask the average american and they'll just be like yeah the the news and the the politicians are all full of shit. You know there's probably twenty thirty percent think it's still good. But. 27:25.71 Max Shank Which I think is which I think is good I think ah like a skeptical society will actually come up with better solutions but trust saves Calories. Ah the whole Concept. Of a group is built on trust the the whole the whole thing is trust based ah fiat currency all these different things you're trusting that the person in charge is going to do. What's best for You. You're trusting that. Um. You know if you help out with the hunt that you're going to get some of the bounty from that hunt and that we're all going to be part of this unit. We're going to look out for each other.. It's like you scratch my back I'll scratch yours and having those relationships. Is the most powerful thing there is like I think of one of the best survival tools as a radical Rolodex So Just having the right array of people that you can call experts in different fields. But more importantly people that you trust to give you. Real solid Answer. So our whole response to bringing order into chaos bringing order out of chaos is based on faith or Trust. Ah, even if you take it from a religious standpoint. You are putting your faith or trust in a supreme being that we cannot see so it's all it's all trust you could say that? yeah. 31:12.48 mikebledsoe Know or or you could say that that supreme being is everything and everywhere and you see it all the time. But yeah, that's what I say. Ah. 31:13.51 Max Shank I'm pretty sure God is a butterfly. It's the butterfly God Yeah, the other all the other ones are not true I mean I'm pretty religious but it's definitely the butterfly god. 31:45.94 mikebledsoe The Butterfly god. 32:04.78 mikebledsoe There you go. So I I think I think back to like personal experiences with order and chaos and I watch I look at my own life and I watch my own self I'm one of those people that the pendulum swings pretty hard. I Think for some people the pendulum kind of hangs out in the middle for me. It's I go really deep into chaos and then really deep into order and ah, there's not a lot of time spent in the middle. But for me I think that helps with ah. 32:39.39 Max Shank Go. 33:23.50 mikebledsoe More progress is it's definitely not the less least painful way of going about it. But I find it's not for everybody but when I'm but everyone does experience that everyone goes to these cycles of order and chaos and the when I go into. 33:06.10 Max Shank It's not for everybody. 33:59.68 mikebledsoe Times of order what I see is a destruction of the structures. Ah that I had set up in my life previously. Whatever rituals or routines that I had previously were swept away So a really good example of this is I went I sold all my things. 33:32.25 Max Shank Length. 34:39.80 mikebledsoe Got down to two bags and went nomadic for a few years I really didn't have much of anything I left my books with some friends. Yeah yeah, dude I I did some crazy shit Um, during that time it was it. 34:20.60 Max Shank Speaking of a rite of passage right? feels like a rite of passage. 35:15.32 mikebledsoe I destroyed everything like I I left the business I had spent years building I ended up getting divorced I was traveling didn't have a home the level of novelty that was always present was so high that getting making progress on any None thing was. Was close to impossible including taking care of my own health and but it was a really necessary time for me to reestablish a new structure so I needed to I desired a. 35:29.75 Max Shank A. 36:26.78 mikebledsoe New structure so much that I had to I had to really flatten the building I had to rebuild some people are just renovating their house all the time I needed to it was a teardown say my life is a Teardown. Let's just go back down to the slab. Let's go down to the slab and then rethink the floor plan. 36:11.45 Max Shank Ah. 37:05.66 mikebledsoe And everything so the I think I think the reason yeah I think the reason people don't do that is because well when you've been living under 1 structure your whole life going back to the and rebuilding new floor plan. You have no idea what to do so there's there's the lack of. 36:39.21 Max Shank Takes a lot more time to do that. Also. 37:43.52 mikebledsoe Knowledge that can be scary for people to do that demolition plan and then the the knowing that man I I spent say None building this one house and now I'm just going to completely demolish it and start over I know that what I build next is going to be so much better. But. 37:35.91 Max Shank Her. 38:23.36 mikebledsoe That's a lot of work. 37:56.33 Max Shank And absolutely and it's even ah, depending on. Ah how you're wired. It's more like choosing which limb to cut off because it's a part of you is like you're. 38:54.38 mikebledsoe Yeah. 38:30.73 Max Shank Your identity is wrapped up into whatever it is you have going on this marriage this business this habit this thing over here to like strip those away and start coming to the I I think. Crazy shocking realization that most of your like baggage and Bullshit was just thoughtlessly inherited just thoughtlessly and you you weren't like trying to inherit it. It was just Monkey See Monkey Do Bing Bam boom. 39:58.54 mikebledsoe Um, yeah. 39:48.63 Max Shank And you're like now I'm this and you get wrapped up into like I'm this and this is good cause I'm good and that's what I'm trying to say all the time. So why would you want to let that go in exchange for something that is unknown right? because that's what really scares people is like I'll take this from. 40:44.56 mikebledsoe Yeah, and. 40:26.73 Max Shank Familiar pain to the unknown that is like I don't know if it's a devil's bargain or a fool's bargain but it doesn't sound like a good deal and yet that's what most of us make is we'll take the familiar pain I'll take familiar pain again. Thank you compared to the unknown. 41:28.26 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, there's um I think in the landmark education they call it the winning strategy. So it's it's a strategy that you learn at a young age where you go Oh if I behave like this. 41:03.49 Max Shank Ah, no yeah. 41:17.77 Max Shank Oh. 41:29.70 Max Shank Um, ah yeah. 42:04.72 mikebledsoe Then this happens or I get to avoid this by being like this I get to you know my dad got mad at me 1 time for doing this. You know I'll never do anything that resembles that ever again and now you become now that that becomes part of who you are and forms the personality and it becomes a winning strategy and. 41:39.89 Max Shank Totally. 42:15.71 Max Shank Oh man. 42:44.80 mikebledsoe And you end up and you get the reward at a young age and then you start collecting evidence for that being a winning strategy. Yeah, you're like oh and you're unable to see where it's not working because it's the only thing that's present. So this is what creates the blind spots. 42:27.79 Max Shank Um, it's like heroin. Oh my god. 42:45.71 Max Shank Man. 43:23.54 mikebledsoe And the the winning strategy is something that is very difficult to let go because it is usually very responsible for a lot of success in your life like somebody may their winning strategy may be shit talking themselves and that's and they overcome it like the beside Navy Seal's name. 43:21.95 Max Shank Yeah. 44:01.38 mikebledsoe Who are ah David Goggins yeah I mean he's he's highly accomplished but he seems miserable as fuck and so he he seems like it is like like he's a perfect example. David Goggins is a perfect example of somebody who. 43:36.69 Max Shank Goggins. Yeah. 44:41.32 mikebledsoe Has a winning strategy. It's getting him some type of reward. But it's costing him so much in his life that he's completely unaware of and doesn't he doesn't value it because he hasn't touched it yet and yet I've met I mean I went through this myself I went from becoming successful. 44:37.30 Max Shank When. 45:16.80 mikebledsoe Shit talking myself and what I was trying to avoid versus you know, ah talking to myself like I was a how would I talk to a None ar old. Well, that's probably how I should talk to myself and so anyways going back to the the people are afraid to give up that. Winning strategy because they're afraid that if they let go of that piece that that piece of their identity. They're not going to be good at something anymore and being good at something is what's earned them. Love. 45:46.51 Max Shank Oh my God It's like a tool. It's It's like you're setting down your sword before you waltz into the Dragons Den It's like when I was a kid I learned about lying now. Okay, lying is a strategy. 46:30.44 mikebledsoe Yeah. 46:24.11 Max Shank That has almost no limits to it in terms of what you can get for Yourself. You can get out of trouble instantly so I was lying all the time growing up as soon as I was able to get away with it I mean what's a better rush than that and there are all kinds of behaviors like that. That they work so you just keep doing them. 47:34.92 mikebledsoe Um, yeah, yeah, they work and then until they don't right? and this is this is where you know, um when we did when in psychology when when we look at like stages of development and. 47:19.29 Max Shank Until they don't. 48:13.72 mikebledsoe What ends up happening is the the things that that move you into one stage of development will end up being the things that hold you back from the next and in fact, when if you look at say the the model of spiral dynamics for psychology and and human development is you're actually moving from. Um. 47:59.71 Max Shank A. 48:52.36 mikebledsoe More of an eye oriented to a we oriented but there's also a bit of chaos and order on either side of that as well. So it's more of a spiral so you got we and I so some stages are more we oriented some stages more eye oriented but then it's it's not ah, it's not a straight line back and forth. It's ah it's a spiral. 48:40.75 Max Shank Ah. 49:29.10 mikebledsoe And in between the eye and the we is is chaos and when you're making the transition and then you've got to bring the order back and so for people to want that chaos in their life. They usually have to be really unhappy with the way something's going on in their life. People when I think about this I think about ah people that have dysfunctional patterns of behavior and a lot of people I think think about oh I have anxiety or I have like some type of system a symptom that might show up in the Dsm um, Dsm whatever it is the. Psychology playbook of symptoms and diagnoses and they they think oh I've got this I'm suffering from this thing and that's the dysfunction. But it's not the best way to find dys function in your life is to just to see what's not working. What what do you desire to be different in your life but you can't seem to get there that to me that demonstrates that there's some type of dysfunction and usually people believe that there's nothing they can do about it. But once they get a hint. And they're just fucking sick and tired of this thing being true in their life. You're like you know I'm gonna do something about it fuck it and then they start digging deep and there's a lot of work to be done there but that that itself becomes chaotic because as you start making changes in your life. You basically have to start behaving differently for everyone else in your life. And they do not like that because they expect you to behave a certain way and that that creates relational chaos. 52:14.97 Max Shank I Think of it in a very basic way which is you have momentum being a certain way and the easiest thing to do is just continue with that Momentum. That's the most effortless thing you can do. So your pain or discomfort needs to be proportional to the adjustment of your trajectory like you need to be dissatisfied or uncomfortable enough to overcome the momentum of living a certain way. And it's not until that happens that a person takes action. Otherwise why would they? it's pure law of least Action. We're going to do the minimum we can unless ah otherwise authorized from a higher order kind of function. And even that is going to be based on a ah big picture discomfort um with just letting things flow as they may. It's like ah I'm uncomfortable not doing this thing. It's it's too painful to not. Go to Mars anymore. It's too painful to not get a divorce anymore. It's too painful to not start a business anymore. Whatever it is. There's like it's different for everybody different pain threshold for different pain catalyst. 55:40.30 mikebledsoe Everyone's got different rock bottom. Yeah, and that makes me think about our concept I I know I didn't create it. But um, the the feather I don't know where it came from the feather the break the Mac truck and if have I told you about this yet. 55:46.10 Max Shank The feather the brick and the Mac truck. No no I told you this but why don't you go ahead and share it with everybody. 56:28.20 mikebledsoe Are you. 56:34.76 mikebledsoe Pretty out did I hear I didn't hear from you did you or did you are you the originator. 56:15.21 Max Shank Go ahead. Just let let them know what it is. It's fine. Go ahead. 56:55.98 mikebledsoe Um, so yeah, the the the feather the Breakke the mack truck. You always get the message very lightly in the beginning and most people ignore it then it comes a little harder and then it's a fucking mack truck and it runs you over. 56:51.95 Max Shank Here. A e. 57:31.96 mikebledsoe And think that the skill is learning to listen for feathers and so it's a it's a it's a it's about being more sensitive. Yeah. 57:23.75 Max Shank Right? But you don't want to get startled every time you feel the wind either right? when there's nothing there. Yeah, you didn't get that for me for me. It's always been the wind the feather the brick and the Mac truck. 58:04.28 mikebledsoe No, you gotta be you gotta be listening to the right thing. 58:23.54 mikebledsoe The wind the feather oh shit oh shit, did you get it from somebody. Are you reading the same person or did you are you really an originator. Do you even know. 58:12.97 Max Shank Now I just I just made the whole thing up I never heard of it until just now. But I thought it would be fun to ah, just throw that Monkey Wrench in there because because see for me. Ah I think. 59:01.42 mikebledsoe Ah, the wind the fact. Okay, we'll throw in the wind now now we've got 4 levels. 58:52.97 Max Shank It's it's like ah a hypochondriac. The hypochondriac is thinking. Everything is some health disaster and really they were just constipated or something like that and I think the line between Prudence and paranoia is a truly fascinating one. 59:33.18 mikebledsoe Yeah, um. 59:31.55 Max Shank Because everybody has a different idea of what is reasonable preparedness and responsibility like the ability to respond or not so it's It's really the same thing like what's the line between prudence and having like a very deep awareness. 01:00:11.44 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah. 01:00:09.93 Max Shank Of what's going on around you and responding to the slightest stimulus so being a little I don't know hypersensitive versus like hyposensitive. It's ah it's an interesting thing. 01:01:04.60 mikebledsoe Yeah. 01:00:41.87 Max Shank So so like to kind of bring us back to that concept of the feather the brick and the Mac truck that what you're saying is change is or or like life. Let's say is giving you signals. 01:01:43.28 mikebledsoe M. 01:01:19.51 Max Shank And if you pay attention to the signal when it's really light. It's not going to cause you much harm. But if you if you wait the feather becomes a brick becomes a mac truck when it eventually just absolutely wrecks you. 01:01:57.20 mikebledsoe Right. 01:02:13.12 mikebledsoe Yeah, becomes more painful but also the amount of change that you're gonna have to make is probably more drastic so it's a double whammy you got extra pain and and additional work to do like I think about say somebody who is a. 01:01:56.33 Max Shank Um, yeah. 01:02:52.68 mikebledsoe A meth at it. You know if they're one weekend and they notice like oh I'm not getting good sleep I'm Jittery I you know I'm not paying attention at work or whatever and they and they go you know what? I've you know I'm gonna check myself into a clinic and I'm gonna kick this thing but then you got the person who's. 01:02:25.25 Max Shank Ah. 01:02:38.41 Max Shank For her. 01:03:31.22 mikebledsoe 10 years in you know they're missing their teeth like for them to be able to get their life back on track and get a job and all that is going to be monumentally more difficult. 01:03:25.91 Max Shank Right? So going past the point of no return basically like how how hard it is. yeah yeah I mean David Goggins is a ah great example of ah. 01:04:07.88 mikebledsoe Yeah, there's a point you cross where you never getting back? Yeah yeah. 01:04:05.55 Max Shank Someone who has just made such an impression on so many people I think you know he he just flipped total extremes right? Big fat guy boom now I'm a Navy seal running millions of miles. Oh my foot's broken. 01:04:55.40 mikebledsoe Um, yeah. 01:04:45.43 Max Shank Who Cares stay hard and I think that now that Persona has gotten him speaking of winning strategies. So now even if he did say you know what I think a more gentle form of exercise is really the right choice for most people because. You know, Actually you're going to harm yourself long term by just running through these injuries. Ah, he almost can't do that now because he has got this winning strategy as this character and I think he. 01:05:55.24 mikebledsoe Um, yeah. Well, you know. 01:05:59.77 Max Shank Wants to be that character for himself and for everybody else I think he's got to be thinking. Wow This is an amazing thing that I am doing here and I'm this guy for myself and for these other folks. 01:06:50.50 mikebledsoe Yeah I think a lot of people are attracted to it because they yeah they're they're attracted to it and they want to do it. They want to be like it. But I think it's a it's. 01:06:37.95 Max Shank Superhero shit. Of course it's attractive. 01:07:27.40 mikebledsoe It's immature in a lot of ways you know there's there's somebody who I saw go through a transformation which was a gary banynerchuk and I don't know if he shifted I Never really heard him say hey I had a realization I'm changing the way that I'm speaking now. 01:07:14.71 Max Shank He. 01:08:05.50 mikebledsoe But I watched him shift over like a 5 year period of hustling rind. You know, get out of your mouth and maybe that his audience matured and he needed to shift his his message. 01:07:47.10 Max Shank Ah. 01:08:00.99 Max Shank He. 01:08:33.64 mikebledsoe But it became more of like hey let's work smarter not harder like be kind to yourself all these things Gary Vaynerchuk I mean if you go back and watch videos from ten years ago and him trying to motivate a crowd. He's telling him to like you know, buck up, you know quit being a little bitch and now he's. 01:08:31.53 Max Shank In. 01:09:09.56 mikebledsoe He's found a little more kindness in in his approach. So I think there's a that's something that was working for him but he also was able to to mature beyond that hopefully David Goggins experiences the same thing I mean for his sake because I mean if you got to keep that persona on. 01:08:47.84 Max Shank Right. 01:09:47.38 mikebledsoe For the rest of your life. It's just hard to. 01:09:21.90 Max Shank But maybe that feels like good for him. Maybe that's that's exactly what he's looking for he he won't be happy unless there's a ah, big physical challenge and you know who can imagine what it's like to live that guy's life. 01:10:22.44 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, yeah, who knows and there's a place for everybody right? like there's a reason that he's so prolific right now is because there are a lot of soft people that need to hear that message. They're probably sick and tired of being soft or like you know what I'm I'm fat too. 01:09:57.85 Max Shank Is what I say. Ah. 01:10:21.19 Max Shank Yes. 01:11:00.82 mikebledsoe And I don't know what to do about this so you know what? like and I mean I am of the opinion that whatever, whatever the fuck gets you started go but my encouragement is it's never the whole thing get gets you started on being healthier. 01:10:33.47 Max Shank Right. 01:10:55.17 Max Shank Whatever gets you started on anything. Ah. 01:11:40.46 mikebledsoe But you know it got fat shamed Now you're losing weight. Okay, but here's the thing is take it further yeah like take it get up take it further. You know I think people a lot of times. It's It's like. 01:11:22.69 Max Shank You got fat shamed you got fat shamed. 01:12:15.30 mikebledsoe The reason you're fat is not because it's not necessarily because you're not exercising enough or you didn't You're not I mean these are the the behaviors you're not exercising enough and you're and you're eating like shit but like there's an entire lifestyle that goes behind this that that needs to shift that doesn't need to be. Maniacal about food and exercise. 01:12:35.29 Max Shank It's literally just using food as pleasure more than your activity will allow and the reason we do things like that is because we feel like there's something missing and we want to change our state salty sweet fatty cheesy bits. Will will pretty much resolve that immediately. It's not super long lasting but you know Obesity is just a drug addiction that has a really easy to see physical manifestation to it. 01:14:15.22 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:13:47.35 Max Shank Right. Ah, it's It's like a lot of people are addicted to their phones but it doesn't make you £40 heavier. Oh you're you're addicted to your phone but this other person is addicted to ah like hostess cupcakes. That's we're not getting sponsored by them but just because. 01:14:55.26 mikebledsoe Not yet max not yet. 01:14:30.53 Max Shank Just because they're addicted to just God I Hope so sponsored by Twinkie. Ah, but yeah, if someone's addicted to hostess cupcakes instead of the telephone they get fat but it's you're still just. Pulling a pleasure lever to distract from being here and now basically right. 01:15:46.26 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah I Um, definitely use food as a little bit of entertainment and but you know what I've I've figured out how to use my entertainment food. Like I can get really entertained by my food without it being just outlandishly terrible and that I think that's ah, that's a good like like. For instance I eat like ah, a keto ice cream that doesn't have It's like the cleanest one I could find mammoth It's mostly just fat. With a tiny bit of sweetener supposed to just cream and by the way I mean just eating frozen cream by itself is so good. Yeah, and then and then I put put strawberries on it I put strawberries on it and then I put. 01:16:35.10 Max Shank Don't don't eat that bad sugar. Don't eat that bad sugar fat Only sugar is bad for you. Don't eat sugar Listen there's a killer out there. It's sugar. 01:17:28.34 mikebledsoe Raw honey on it. Yeah yeah, and then that'll usually beat whatever fucking dessert that's sitting on the shelf somewhere or even at a restaurant like it's actually tastier. 01:17:00.87 Max Shank Um, very fancy. 01:17:20.81 Max Shank Well, you know that's great that you have found a strategy that that works for you. Um, for for your mouth pleasure. Although. 01:18:03.82 mikebledsoe Um, yeah I know it's not your your morning cheesecake that you like to start your day with. 01:17:54.75 Max Shank I Do like to start with a cheesecake and mocha in the morning if the opportunity arises I'm definitely going to take it. Absolutely. 01:18:46.22 mikebledsoe Ah, well ordering Chaos I. 01:18:20.35 Max Shank So with the with the food is it about the mouth pleasure like the the flavor the chewing the swallowing the whole thing I mean that's what helped me like get a handle on the the food addiction I mean it's all good right. Is it that I like the flavor while I'm chewing. Is it like some deeper primal thing where I I just feel good that I'm putting stuff in my belly like there's this primal desire. That's like yeah food goes in this tube this way and then that's a good thing. 01:19:52.64 mikebledsoe Yeah, well I think I think for me it um like I'm a low appetite person. So yeah, yeah. 01:19:39.73 Max Shank How nice someone the other day said to me he goes. Ah I've been trying he was at he was at our gym he goes I've been trying to eat more and the idea of someone who had to try to eat more. 01:20:31.44 mikebledsoe You know? okay. 01:20:17.41 Max Shank Was so foreign to me ah eating more is my absolute default. Ah the concept of eating less food than I need or even just the right amount that I need is insane like every time I'm eating food I Want more. I Want hometown Buffet I want all you can eat sushi I Want a gigantic porter house with mashed potatoes. 01:21:34.54 mikebledsoe Yeah I think I think what may be different between you and I is I've been obsessing over the nutrient density of my food since I was about 14 So it's um. 01:21:28.17 Max Shank A. 01:22:06.66 mikebledsoe Like yeah I'm in this constant search for the highest quality of what I'm what I'm eating now Super dens. It's a superfood and so the yeah. 01:21:46.59 Max Shank That's why I just eat bullying cubes. 01:22:03.33 Max Shank I Think we should try to make that a thing super concentrated beef essence. 01:22:45.88 mikebledsoe Well, it's kind of like kale kale was like being sold as ah like a garnish for these buffets at Wendy's or whatever for for almost nothing and then it was listed as a super food. It was marketed properly and then ah. 01:22:34.83 Max Shank Ah. 01:23:20.12 mikebledsoe The fucking price of it skyrocket. We can do the same thing for Bullyon Cubes I think is somehow you know hate. It's. 01:23:01.79 Max Shank That would be such an exciting thing to get like all these high level athletes just snacking on bullion cubes. Everyone starts carrying around a little beef pouch salty. Yeah. 01:23:43.38 mikebledsoe Yeah I think it's a good hydration. It's more like a hydration tool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but ah yeah I think for me like I've always all I'm like this this quality freak about food and be and like I don't want it. 01:23:46.70 Max Shank Here. 01:24:21.96 mikebledsoe I could eat like a footlong Subway Club sandwich like I could do that like don't get me wrong I could do it but but it just it just doesn't like um, there's something about it I Just don't I don't feel satisfied in the same way and so. 01:23:59.59 Max Shank That sounds good I like a good submarine sandwich. 01:25:01.60 mikebledsoe When I'm eating higher quality foods like it does seem like it's harder to eat. It's like I get satisfied more quickly So I don't eat as many calories and then I'm also burning through a lot of calories in the day and then if I'm training which I am right now. Are you just the. 01:25:00.83 Max Shank Then. 01:25:40.30 mikebledsoe The appetite just skyrocket. But I don't I won't put down just anything So then I end up eating Keto ice cream with honey and strawberries at night. 01:25:17.83 Max Shank A. 01:25:28.93 Max Shank Yeah I'll I'll eat healthy food I'll just eat 3 times the volume of what I should eat. It's weird I'll be at a restaurant or something and they'll be like. Do you want any dessert and I'll look at the dessert menu. 01:26:12.40 mikebledsoe Yeah I think I just have a small stomach some you know. 01:26:06.89 Max Shank And I'll be like no but I will get another entree instead when it's like roughly this I Really like savory foods so we'll be out. It'll be like sushi or something they'll be like oh you want dessert and I'm looking the desserts I'm go think I'll just have more rice and fish and avocado and that kind of thing. 01:26:59.64 mikebledsoe A ah. 01:26:42.61 Max Shank Um, food Huh How about that. 01:27:13.82 mikebledsoe Yeah, so going back to ordering chaos where we started. Ah I I think that what we're gonna be witnessing moving forward is a lot of people seeking order. There was I was listening ah to. 01:26:55.61 Max Shank Order up. 01:27:16.30 Max Shank A. 01:27:52.76 mikebledsoe Gad sad god sad how do you say his name on Rogan the other day and it was talking about how some of the professors are starting to report that the that the new students in the college in the universities are. Really wanting a more conservative approach to things like they seem to be tired with you know all the the crazy shit around you know like they're being 72 different genders and and all that kind of stuff and so the ah. 01:28:26.15 Max Shank All that shit is just all that shit doesn't matter. It's just about whether or not the discourse is violent or not I think. 01:29:13.46 mikebledsoe Well I think that's part of the problem is it's it. You know it's obviously been violent people certain people aren't allowed to talk at universities because they get shouted out and basically forced out So that's chaos. That's that's people's emotional state. 01:28:57.53 Max Shank Right? wild. 01:29:51.40 mikebledsoe Overtaking their behavior becoming illogical and then are unable to you know have intepit discourse. So I yeah I think I mean if we look at if we look at what Ray Dalio says if we look at the fourth turning. We look at these things that these people who talk about. These cycles that are going on in the world and I think we're pretty getting pretty close to maxing out on chaos I mean I think the only thing that's more chaotic for for for the american public for for the. 01:30:19.51 Max Shank Um, what whoa woa I don't know I'm still listening though but I don't know. 01:31:05.40 mikebledsoe For the American Public's taste for things you think they can take more chaos. We'll see. Um, yeah I could see it going a little bit further I mean but the the only thing that's left is is now and. 01:30:58.23 Max Shank Um I think of anarchy as chaos like anarchy is chaos that I mean that would be soak I Oh my God I think things like I don't think things are being run well. But. 01:31:40.16 mikebledsoe No anarchy is different. So ah. 01:32:01.30 mikebledsoe Boy here. 01:31:36.77 Max Shank My gosh I think a lot of stuff is still running so smoothly so predictably in such an ordered fashion I mean I hope it doesn't get more chaotic and unpredictable. 01:32:22.40 mikebledsoe Well well anarchy anarchy just means without a ruler and so it no without a ruler and so it has to do with. 01:32:06.67 Max Shank Right? Well without without rule isn't it or just without a guy who enforces the rules then. 01:32:59.34 mikebledsoe God. 01:32:36.89 Max Shank No. 01:33:08.42 mikebledsoe Ah, well if you define God by natural law like like gravity like like to me that is the the forces that have put been put in place to create physical order in the world which we don't need. Anyone to be in charge to do that right? like real laws are things that no person has to enforce and so you have natural law and then you have common law which is basically don't fuck with me and I'm not going to fuck with you right. 01:33:47.53 Max Shank Right? But who's enforcing that is the question. That's what I'm saying So it's ah you know I think there would be a lot more people stealing each other shit if they didn't think there was some like repercussion. 01:34:22.64 mikebledsoe Well people ultimately have to enforce it for themselves. Yeah. 01:34:43.68 mikebledsoe Her maybe maybe well here here's wait. There is a reapercussion so here's an example San Francisco has riots how long do they last Minneapolis long fucking time. You know how long they lasted in Miami. 01:34:25.51 Max Shank That the hired guns could lay in a long time. Yeah, not as long. 01:35:20.78 mikebledsoe Yeah, about 36 hours and then it everyone went back to order and it's not because they put more police force out. It's because the the ah the police came out and said hey if you own a store on this street. You might want to come out with your gun. They basically encourage people to protect their own property because that's a state in which they honor property rights right? and then right and then but. 01:35:43.30 Max Shank Which are the only reason we have all these rules in the None place. 01:36:24.58 mikebledsoe But property rights aren't necessarily I don't think they necessarily have to be enforced by an outside entity whereas in California you have government officials that are impeding property rights so in 1 state you've got the encouragement of protecting your own property like we're not even going to do it. You do it. 01:36:19.49 Max Shank Right. 01:36:32.53 Max Shank Right. 01:37:03.90 mikebledsoe And then in San Francisco they're saying whatever you do don't protect your own property or else we're gonna come after you, you know you can't have a gun if you shoot somebody on your property. We're gonna you're gonna be in trouble. So some people would say that San Francisco has got way more order or. 01:36:46.10 Max Shank Right. 01:37:42.64 mikebledsoe Whereas Florida seems a little more anarchist right? where they're encouraging when I think about anarchy it brings it down to there is a ruler and each person has to be their own ruler in which case. So we look at Miami and people would say oh we're just gonna let people kill each other but the the amount of damage that was done and the amount of deaths were really small because what happened was people came out with their guns. A couple writers got shot and killed and then everyone goes. Oh you can't do that or else you might get shot and killed and so they just don't do it anymore. So I think this is a good example of of the order being placed by. You know, an authoritative government is shown to be ineffective. So I think. 01:38:32.51 Max Shank Um, well yeah. 01:39:31.30 mikebledsoe Majority of order that's produced people generally want to be kind to each other people generally want to get along in all the research people avoid conflict. They don't They don't do these things they enter into conflict when they think they can be faceless and nameless and they're wearing a mask and and running through the streets. 01:39:24.49 Max Shank Most people. 01:39:38.77 Max Shank A. 01:40:09.94 mikebledsoe With a thousand other people and they can blend in now they become that's chaos. That's that's that's the mob but that's not anarchy. That's ah anarchy would be everyone. There would be consequences. You're held liable for your personal stuff. 01:39:48.30 Max Shank Um, a mob. 01:40:44.12 mikebledsoe Just because everybody was doing It doesn't mean that you are um that it's okay to do it So There's a level of individual responsibility that I see that happens with anarchy and I think that this I think that anything that's not anarchy is actually a. It's an illusion because if we if we go up so we. 01:40:58.49 Max Shank Well hold up every society is an illusion based on a unify unifying set of beliefs whether it's the tree spirit or an eye for an eye code of hamurabi or hey that guy with the big stick is in charge because he can beat up everyone else. 01:41:50.46 mikebledsoe It's just it's a story. 01:42:02.26 mikebledsoe Well well the big, the big stick guy is usually what people think about anything about anarchy is like it's like oh yeah, it's a power game right? It's like if everyone's just running around and. 01:41:38.50 Max Shank Right? And we just do what he says. That's all. 01:41:56.53 Max Shank Well it it is extra Well if there's no recourse if someone takes your stuff except for your own then everyone is going to have to arm themselves significantly more now I do think that would make a community. 01:43:01.74 mikebledsoe I Think it would be a much more peaceful community as well. 01:42:33.81 Max Shank Much much stronger been to Oklahoma I agree completely. Um, people would respect boundaries a little more I believe and if you think that you may get shot. You're less likely to go try to Rob someone unless it's really really desperate. 01:43:32.78 mikebledsoe Um, yeah. 01:43:12.31 Max Shank And even then you're more likely to go ask? What can you do you can beg borrow or steal if someone has something you want. You know you can work you can beg or you can take um so I think it has a lot to do with. 01:43:52.82 mikebledsoe Now. 01:44:05.90 mikebledsoe Or. 01:43:51.67 Max Shank Fact that we can get our needs met relatively smoothly and I think if you had let's say a dis because I'm not a fan of how taxpayer dollars are managed at all because that's all government is it's all all of our pooled resources put to work by a few. Ah. Clever folks. But I think if you were to dissolve that whole system. Ah it would be a really shaky turbulent. Ah very chaotic adjustment period because the whole concept of. dollars and cents and retirements and everything would just completely collapse and all of these agreements based on that old system would also collapse so all of your existing contracts would basically be like I'm gonna just not. 01:46:08.66 mikebledsoe Well, a lot of a lot of these structures are are corporate in nature and so these agreements and so any agreements you have with government I mean it's a corporate. It's an agreement between a corporation and an individual which is technically like unlawful. 01:45:43.21 Max Shank Do that anymore. 01:46:13.47 Max Shank Right? But those ah but those agreements are basically just for if you have to go to a court. 01:46:46.74 mikebledsoe In a way. But. 01:46:56.84 mikebledsoe Yeah there I got a I got a show coming out with Jesse Elder where he covers the whole going to court thing but the which I think will be interesting but I want I want to take this back to the the idea that that do we live. My argument is we already live in anarchy right? And so the I was thinking about this the other day is so there's a war between well I'm about to explain it. So everyone everyone thinks that there's a rule of law right? like the United States is like it's it's not ruled by men. It's ruled by law. 01:47:21.70 Max Shank Why do we live in anarchy. Okay. 01:47:46.37 Max Shank Sometimes. 01:48:14.78 mikebledsoe And so that's that was that's kind of the concept of the United States it's not necessarily how it's resulted, but that's the concept was to to keep us out of trouble. But if we get outside of the United States and we go global. We have global anarchy right? the. 01:47:57.31 Max Shank Right. 01:48:53.24 mikebledsoe There is no. There is no authority that makes the countries behave So some of these. 01:48:32.10 Max Shank Maybe oligarchy maybe more like an oligarchy than total anarchy like I think there's a lot of power centers and unions and allegiances that guide the flow of the world. 01:49:22.52 mikebledsoe There are there are the um that that are a lot less oligarchies. Well depends on the oligarch like what system you're using can be less violent. You mean you could say that like Elon Musk is probably None of the most powerful people on the planet. Not probably He's more powerful than most countries. Ah and ah, but all the interaction with him and his stuff is is voluntary. So it's it's a less. He may be he may be in charge of people's minds in a way because he's deciding you know what? they. 01:49:54.17 Max Shank Which is amazing. Ah, right. 01:50:38.78 mikebledsoe They may be seeing because he controls that way, but it's not.. It's not overtly coercive or or violent. Um, but if we if we extrapolate out and we go what keeps these nations like what supersedes the nation you know and some people might say Nato UN. Ah, have all these different organizations where these countries send representatives and they jerk each other off for a few days and then go back. Ah these that the truth is is the only thing that keeps anyone from fucking with anybody else is the possibility of total destruction. There's an entire global strategy going on by each country On. You have a few powers that are trying to dominate. But there's all these allies that are created and rules and and and they're generating all this stuff but generally like if you I think people. People are under this false premise of there is law and order that's produced by human beings. But it's completely inaccurate because if we keep going to a larger Magnitude. We start seeing that there's nothing other than brute force and power that is. That is in charge and so in which case I say that that's truly just Anarchy. We already exist under it. But the problem is is we suffer under a ah like ah this illusion because people don't ah. Because they put their trust in the illusion. They never take personal responsibility. They never become their own ruler. They never make their own decisions. They never learn to protect themselves feed themselves provide for themselves and so they're putting the trust in something illusory that can change at a moment's notice. And put them out in the cold. 01:54:07.63 Max Shank Um, yeah I I tend to think that all ah Authority matters are resolved that way with the threat of total destruction on a micro level and on a macro level. You know the. 01:55:06.22 mikebledsoe M. 01:54:45.33 Max Shank Way that individuals are ruled the way that countries are ruled the way that countries rule over each other.. It's always the threat of total destruction and you know self-preservation is a very powerful instinct and I think that's probably what drives ah countries more than anything. Is the self-preservation Instinct of the rulers. 01:55:59.64 mikebledsoe Um, yeah, gotta be I mean I think that's just everybody. 01:55:39.27 Max Shank Keep the power get a little bit more keep the power get a little bit more because it never ends it very rarely ends well like the dictator doesn't like ride off into the sunset and be like hey guys I had fun oppressing the shit out of you. Thank you for letting me just go on. 01:56:36.86 mikebledsoe Yeah, well when was the last time there was a dictator that like died of natural causes and everybody all the your country. The country was like oh yeah, ah. 01:56:14.47 Max Shank Down the dusty road dude North Korea North Korea one of my favorite front. None of my favorite stories ever I another plug for dictators playbook. Very good series. The story of ah Kim il-sung. And then ah Kim Jong -il and now kim jong un none generation dictatorship pretty good for the modern era he is repressing the shit out of those people's ability to see information and see what other life is like he's smeared the hell out of the fat americans it's incredible. 01:57:29.64 mikebledsoe Now. Yeah. 01:58:00.28 mikebledsoe I need to I need to watch this. It sounds. 01:57:33.19 Max Shank Ah, anyway, Kim il-sung dot died of natural causes. Kim Jong -il also died of natural causes. Kim Jong un maybe eating himself to death. But that's still a natural cause basically like it's incredible. 01:58:25.98 mikebledsoe Yeah, well what I'm saying yeah but people aren't happy what I'm saying is like has anyone ah as a dictator ever like died and then everyone's like oh genuinely sad. 01:58:17.75 Max Shank There is way less obesity in North Korea than the United States that's a fact that's a fact. 01:58:57.48 mikebledsoe Did you did you listen to that? Ah interview Rogan did with um that North Korean woman who escaped at fucking crazy. Totally worth listening to. 01:58:44.51 Max Shank Um, yeah I did it was wild. Loved it. Dude That's the history of the world is like awful awful stuff like that look at all the like torture shame the the um juxtaposition of. Art and war as ah, vessels for this oscillation between order and chaos is Incredible. We're making these beautiful pieces of art. We're you know, putting together quilts and nice things for people and medicines and then we have like these. Ah. Mechanical suppositories that expand up your anus as torture and you just have these like weird is such ah, an insane level of destruction and violent and then creation and cooperation and you know optimism. I Mean human beings are insane and then a few of them get really insane and are like I will lead these people and then and then I here's what I think happens I don't think this is going to be a very popular take but I think ah. Most of the most of the guys who went and did these insane things. It was really like the whispers of a lady that was driving him. You know what? I mean I think we we cannot. We cannot Blame. Ah. 02:02:04.24 mikebledsoe Oh yeah. 02:01:53.57 Max Shank White We We can't make white men the whipping boy of all the evil shit. That's ever been Done. You know ladies men of all colors of all creeds have oppressed people I'm sure that there were Queens who would tease their king about the size of his kingdom. And just nag nag nag him until he conquered the neighbors be like you call this a kingdom This is the tiniest Kingdom. That's what I think yeah. 02:03:07.16 mikebledsoe I think that was like Alexander the great alexander the great. Yeah and what's her name or is it Ashley and I got this conversation the other day which was we we take we take like things that are really hot. Like unstable topics in society and then we debate them in the car and because she grew up in the bay where there's a very she grew up in a very left leaning view. So there's a lot of opportunity for me to ask her questions just had a curiosity is like okay how is. 02:03:38.67 Max Shank Ah. 02:04:22.20 mikebledsoe Okay, this is how I understand this situation. What's the okay, what's going on over there and she tells me I'm like okay have are those people have they considered this so no, okay, cool and so it's like it ends up in a interesting conversation. So one was um, we were listening to a show. They're talking about. Um you know, ah, ah, equity like equity amongst men and women for pay right? who you know men men generally get paid more money than women and so the feminist movement has been. Incredibly focused on money in in regard to things not being fair and so and so that was my that was my so we got in this conversation. so so yeah yeah so Ashley's like you know it's unfair and. 02:05:19.71 Max Shank They already spend all the money. There are so many reasons for there are so many reasons for this I mean. Okay. 02:06:16.72 mikebledsoe And I was like I was like well have we talked about all the contributing factors to why it might be that way and then the number one? Well the None thing that I came up with not came up with but like the None stat that we looked at was ah okay. So men make how much more money on average and women for the same type of work. Okay, well, who spends the money who who spends more money. It's like well the women spend 70% of all the money on. 02:06:44.45 Max Shank But there there are like 10 different reasons that things usually are this way if it was so clear cut as like the Twitter sized argument would have you believe then every smart businessman would just hire women I would save. 02:07:45.74 mikebledsoe Totally. 02:07:24.37 Max Shank I would save 25% on my ah payroll and I would be because if it's the same job for ah 25% less money. You would be a fool not to do it. You would have just factories. You would only have women employees. It would only be women working ah like why wouldn't you why wouldn't you no no, it's it's stupid. It's just another distraction. We have so much more in common. 02:08:32.48 mikebledsoe That's that's a really good point or because of discrimination people are are misogynist What it's It's ah it's a. Well the thing the thing is is people people will they look at the result and then they they that that's the explanation. Oh. There's not this so it must be.. It must be that that person that men are generally bad at you know that are generally misogynistic. 02:08:37.10 Max Shank Ah, then we have different. 02:09:41.72 mikebledsoe So There's this like the proof for a lot of people. The proof is in the the lack of equity versus getting into all the little things that might contribute to that and you make a really good point because you know what? if if I could get away with that I do the same thing and. And then you could like claim to be nobles like oh I I Only hire women and and in the background you know you, you're making more money That's not necessarily I don't see in the conversations I yeah. 02:09:53.91 Max Shank Um, yeah. 02:10:09.43 Max Shank It's just like a different type of sexism I mean I don't think I think more than people being like pro-man or pro lady or anti-man or anti-lady people are just selfish understandably. So. You're the only None living your experience. You're the only one responsible for it if you can get a few extra points of street cred for talking shit. Why wouldn't you I mean we talked about how effective lying is talking shit is so effective I mean do you think Tom Sawyer painted the fence. No. Sweet talked the other kid and said hey wouldn't you like to paint this fence I will trade you the opportunity of painting this fence for that shiny red Apple you got and so he's there eating the Apple while this guy is so happy that he now has the opportunity to build a fence so people are just. Selfish and they realize that they can talk to get attention and energy and that kind of thing instead of work and there are so many I mean my god we could talk all day about this like alleged discrimination between men and women. But um. This is a contest that nobody wins there's no way to win this discussion because it's like hey did you know that men kill themselves 4 times more than women they're like no I didn't know that is like well can you just like fucking eat the quarter and like. Not worry I mean we're dying 4 times as much at our own hand like is it really? So amazing. Yeah. 02:13:43.26 mikebledsoe Well 98% of workplace deaths are men as well like I it's like is what. 02:13:27.69 Max Shank But but that's that's the whole point is like people just do what they want to do that's all and quite frankly, you know if you're a lady you can just get really hot and nice. But if you're a fella I mean I guess you could do that too like you could be a cabana boy. Type of ah life strategy I've considered it I've done the entrepreneurship thing for a while but I've also considered what if I put the same amount of dedication to being like a really like goodlooking Kabana boy right? and just like teach yoga classes by the pool of some like rich lady. And my whole responsibility is just like oh a little more suntann for you I'll whip up a little ah sandwich for you there like that's totally a strategy and maybe I would earn more doing that than what I'm currently doing so. It's fine, but it's just that usually the way that a guy shows. 02:15:33.80 mikebledsoe Maybe maybe. 02:15:21.39 Max Shank Ah, dominance in the hierarchy is by making lots of money That's usually how it is and then if you like get the gender roles confused sometimes you have people chasing things that don't even feel good to them. They just do it because they think they're supposed to and that's. 02:15:54.00 mikebledsoe Um, yeah, yeah. 02:16:21.18 mikebledsoe Yeah. 02:15:59.83 Max Shank I think that is ah actually really scary sp
On the show today.... Sadly, Britney Spears and Sam Asghari have announced the loss of their pregnancy, with Britney sharing the news via a statement to her Instagram account. And nominations for the 2022 TV Week Logie Awards have been revealed, after COVID-19, unfortunately, shut the awards down for the past two years. This year some brand new categories have been added to the mix and the Gold Logie race is already stirring up a new set of controversies. Plus, the defamation case brought by Johnny Depp against his ex-wife Amber Heard continues this week with more celebrity voices than ever before throwing their support behind Johhny. Chris Rock in particular has made some truly disturbing comments about Amber during his latest show and it's got us thinking that no matter how the trial ends, we already know what's in store for Johnny Depp. THE END BITS Subscribe to Mamamia GET IN TOUCH: Join us in our Facebook group to discuss everything pop culture... https://www.facebook.com/groups/2524018781153963/ Feedback? We're listening! Call the pod phone on 02 8999 9386 or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org WANT MORE? Read all the latest entertainment news on Mamamia... https://mamamia.com.au/entertainment/ Subscribe to The Spill Newsletter... https://mamamia.com.au/newsletter CREDITS Hosts: Laura Brodnik & Chelsea McLaughlin Producers: Laura Brodnik & Gia Moylan Audio Producer: Rhiannon Mooney Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures. Just by reading our articles or listening to our podcasts, you're helping to fund girls in schools in some of the most disadvantaged countries in the world - through our partnership with Room to Read. We're currently funding 300 girls in school every day and our aim is to get to 1,000. Find out more about Mamamia at mamamia.com.au Support the show: https://www.mamamia.com.au/mplus/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Ephesians 2:14-18***We all have a guilty musical pleasure. Admit it.A band we return to as the soundtrack to some other season.An album we replay because it.still. holds.up.The song we blast in the car when it comes on — lyrics flowing freely, dance moves optional.Because music stirs us, evokes emotion, forms memory, and helps us return to ourselves.Which is why we shouldn't be surprised that, at times, early Christian authors seem to have drawn on the songs and poetry around them as they wrote. Pulling meaningful words, rhythm,and melody together to inspire their reflection and theology.And this is a fascinating idea — that musicality shaped Scripture, but also that it plays a role in what makes these words compelling today.Join us as we explore this ancient playlist together!★ Support this podcast ★
I have seen this over and over in my 17 years of podcasting. A big company comes in and explains how they are embracing podcasting, and then a short time later they quietly disappear and hope all the people with microphones don't notice. We do. There is one strategy that ALWAYS works with or without social media and that is what I want to share today. WHO WANTS FREE STUFF? I have a number of free classes at www.schoolofpodcasting.com/freeclasses FOCUS ON YOUR AUDIENCE This always works. Find out what they need and give it to them, and then make it easy to find your show, share your show, and subscribe and follow your show. Be sure to ASK your audience (your sales team) to tell a friend in a clear, slow, specific manner. There is no free switch that will get you 10,000 downloads by the weekend. But when you deliver value, this does make the numbers go up (slowly) instead of down. Need Some Help? I'd love to help you. Go to www.podcastconsultant.com/schedule
Pulling a twist on the remaining survivors, the cast is announced that it is Big Brother week on Survivor Northwestern. After this shift, big moves are made - Big Plans are hatched - and a Big player is sent home. Join Erin and Dustyn as they interview the latest eliminated player as they recap the season/episode! Make sure to subscribe to our Youtube for live streamed podcasts! Follow Live Reality Games Network on Facebook | Instagram | Twitter linktr.ee/LiveRealityGames
Facebook Has No Idea Where Your Data Is and What They Do With It?! Facebook's about 18 years old coming on 20 Facebook has a lot of data. How much stuff have you given Facebook? Did you fall victim for that? Hey, upload your contacts. We'll find your friends. They don't know where your data is. [Following is an automated transcript] [00:00:15] This whole thing with Facebook has exploded here lately. [00:00:20] There is an article that had appeared on a line from our friends over at, I think it was, yeah. Let me see here. Yeah. Yeah. Motherboard. I was right. And motherboards reporting that Facebook doesn't know what it does with your data or. It goes, no, there's always a lot of rumors about different companies and particularly when they're big company and the news headlines are grabbing your attention and certainly Facebook can be one of those companies. [00:00:57] So where did motherboard get this opinion about Facebook? Just being completely clueless about your personal. It tamed from a leaked document. Yeah, exactly. So we find out a lot of stuff like that. I used to follow a website about companies that were going to go under and they posted internal memos. [00:01:23] It basically got sued out of existence, but there's no way that Facebook is going to be able to Sue this one out of existence because they are describing this as. Internally as a tsunami of privacy regulations all over the world. So Gores, if you're older, we used to call those tidal waves, but think of what the implication there is of a tsunami coming in and just overwhelming everything. [00:01:53] So Facebook, internally, their engineers are trying to figure out, okay. So how do we deal with. People's personal data. It's not categorized in ways that regulators want to control it. Now there's a huge problem right there. You've got third party data. You've got first party data. You've got sensitive categories, data. [00:02:16] They might know what religion you are, what your persuasions are in various different ways. There's a lot of things they might know about you. How were they all cat categorize now we've got the European union. With their general data protection regulation. The GDPR we talked about when it came into effect back in 2018, and I've helped a few companies to comply with that. [00:02:41] That's not my specialty. My specialty is the cybersecurity. But in article five this year, peon law mandates that personal data must be collected for specified explicit and legitimate purposes and not further processed in a manner that is incompatible with those purposes. So what that means is that every piece of data, like where you are using Facebook or your religious orientation, Can only be collected in use for a specific purpose and not reused for another purpose. [00:03:19] As an example here, that vice has given in past Facebook, took the phone number that users provided to protect their accounts with two factor authentication and fed it to its people, feature as well as. Advertisers. Yeah. Interesting. Hey, so Gizmodo with the help of academic researchers caught Facebook doing this, and eventually the company had to stop the practice because, and this goes back to the earlier days where Facebook would say, Hey, find out if your friends are on Facebook, upload your contacts right now. [00:03:54] And most people. What did you know back then about trying to keep your data private, to try and stop the proliferation of information about you online then nothing. I think I probably even uploaded it back then thinking it'd be nice to see if I got friends here. We can start chatting, et cetera. [00:04:12] According to legal experts that were interviewed by motherboard who wrote this article and has a copy of the internal memo this year, PN regulation specifically prohibits that kind of repurposing of your phone number of trying to put together the social graph and the leaked document shows that Facebook may not even have the ability to live. [00:04:37] How it handles user's data. Now I was on a number of radio stations this week, talking about this. And the example I gave is just look at an average business from the time it start, Facebook started how right? Wildly scraping pictures of young women off of Harvard university. Main catalog, contact page, and then asking people what do you think of this? This person, that person. And off they go, trying to rate them. Yeah. Yeah. All that matters to a woman, at least to Courtney, to mark Zuckerberg girl, all the matters about a woman is how she looks. Do I think she's pretty or not? [00:05:15] It's ridiculous. What he was doing. It just, oh, that's zackerburg who he is not a great guy anyways. So you go from stealing pictures of young ladies asking people to rate them, putting together some class information and stuff there at Harvard, and then moving on to other universities and then open it up even wider and wider. [00:05:42] And of course, that also created demand because you can't get on. If you're not at one of the universities that we have set it up for. And then you continue to grow. You're adding these universities, certainly starting to collect data and you are making more money than God. So what do you do? You don't have to worry about any efficiencies. [00:06:02] I'll tell you that. Right? One thing you don't have to do is worry about gee. We've got a lot of redundant work going on here. We've got a lot of teams working on basically the same thing. No, you've got more money than you can possibly shake a stick at. So now you go ahead and send that money to this group or that group. [00:06:24] And they put together all of the basic information, that they want. Pulling it out of this database and that database in there doing some correlation, writing some really cool CQL queries with mem credible joins and everything else. And now that becomes part of the main code for Facebook. [00:06:45] And then Facebook goes on to the next little project and they do the same thing. Then the next project, then the next project. And then someone comes along and says, Hey, we. This feature, that feature for advertisers and then in that goes, and then along comes candidate Obama. And they, one of the groups inside Facebook says, yeah here we go. [00:07:09] Here's all of the information we have about everybody and it's free. Don't worry about it. And then when Trump actually bought it and hired a company to try and process some of that information he got in trouble. No but the. The whole campaign could get access to anything they wanted to, again, because the data wasn't controlled, they had no idea who was doing what with the data. [00:07:34] And according to this internal memo, they still don't know. They don't even know if they can possibly comply with these regulations, not just in Europe, but we have regulations in pretty much all of the 50 states in the U S Canada of course, has their own Australia and New Zealand think about all the places. [00:07:57] Facebook makes a lot of. So here's a quote from that we build systems with open borders. The result of these open systems and open culture is well-described with an analogy. Imagine you hold a bottle of ink in your hand, the bottle of ink is a mixture of all kinds of user data. You pour that ink into a lake of water and K and it flows every year. [00:08:22] The document read. So how do you put that ink back in the bottle? I, in the right bottle, how do you organize it again? So that it only flows to the allowed places in the lake? They're totally right about that. Where did they collect it from? Apparently they don't even know where they got some of this information. [00:08:43] This data from reminds me of the no fly list. You don't know you're on it and you can't get yourself off of it. It's crazy. So this document that we're talking about, it was written last year by. Privacy engineers on the ad and business product team, whose mission is to make meaningful connections between people and businesses and which quote sits at the center of our monetization strategy. [00:09:06] And is the engine that powers Facebook's growth. Interesting. Interesting problems. And I see this being a problem well into the future for more and more of these companies, look at Twitter as an example that we've all heard about a lot lately. And then I've talked about as well along comes Elon Musk and he says wait a minute. [00:09:29] I can make Twitter way more profitable. We're going to get rid of however many people over a thousand, and then we are going to hire more people. We're going to start charging. We're going to be more efficient. You can bet all of these redundancies that are in Facebook are also there. And Twitter also has to comply with all of these regulations that Facebook is freaking out about it for a really a very good reason. [00:10:00] So this document is available to anybody who wants to look at it. I'm looking at it right now, talking about regulatory landscape and the fundamental problems Facebook's data lake. And this is a problem that most companies have not. As bad as Facebook does the button. Most companies you write, you grow. I have yet to walk into a business that needs help with cybersecurity and find everything in place as it should be because it grew organically. [00:10:32] Do you started out with a little consumer firewall router, wifi, and then you added to it and you put a switch here and you added another switch behind that and move things around. This is normal. This is not total incompetence on the part of the management, but my gosh, I don't know. Maybe they need an Elon Musk. [00:10:52] Just straighten them out as well. Hey, stick around. I'll be right back and sign up email@example.com. [00:11:02] Apparently looting is one of the benefits of being a Russian soldier. And according to the reports coming out of Ukraine, they've been doing it a lot, but there's a tech angle on here that is really turning the tables on these Russian Looters. [00:11:19] We know in wars, there are people that loot and typically the various militaries try and make sure, at least recently that looting is kept to an absolute minimum. [00:11:32] Certainly the Americans, the British, even the Nazis during world war II the the socialists they're in. Germany they tried to stop some of the looting that was going on. I think that's probably a very good thing, because what you end up with is just all of these locals that are just totally upset with you. [00:11:57] I found a great article on the guardian and there's a village. I hadn't been occupied for about a month by Russian troops and the people came back. They are just shocked to see what happened in there. Giving a few examples of different towns. They found that the alcohol was stolen and they left empty bottles behind food wrappers, cigarette butts, thrown all over the place in apartments in the home. [00:12:26] Piles of feces blocking the toilets, family photographs torn, thrown around the house. They took away all of the closes as a code from one of the people, literally everything, male and female coats, boots, shirts, jackets, even my dresses and laundry. This is really something. The Sylvia's didn't do this, but now Russia. [00:12:49] The military apparently does. So over the past couple of weeks, there have been reporting from numerous places where Russian troops had occupied Ukrainian territory and the guardian, which is this UK newspaper collected evidence to suggest looting by Russian forces was not merely a case of a few way, word soldiers, but a systematic part of Russian military behavior across multiple towns. [00:13:17] And villages. That's absolutely amazing. Another quote here, people saw the Russian soldiers loading everything onto your old trucks. Everything they could get their hands on a dozen houses on the villages. Main street had been looted as well as the shops. Other villagers reported losing washing machines, food laptops, even as sofa, air conditioner. [00:13:41] Being shipped back, just you might use ups here or they have their equivalent over there. A lady here who was the head teacher in the school, she came back in, of course, found her home looted and in the head teacher's office. She found an open pair of scissors that had been jammed into a plasma screen that was left behind because if they can't steal it, they're going to destroy it. [00:14:07] They don't wanna leave anything behind. They found the Russian to take in most of the computers, the projectors and other electronic equipment. It's incredible. So let's talk about the turnaround here. You might've heard stories about some of these bad guys that have smashed and grabbed their way into apple stores. [00:14:27] So they get into the apple store. They grab laptops on iPads, no longer iPods, because they don't make those anymore. And I phone. And they take them and they run with them. Nowadays there's not a whole lot of use for those. Now what they have been doing, some of these bad guys is they'd take some parts and use them in stolen equipment. [00:14:52] They sell them on the used market, et cetera. But when you're talking about something specific, like an iPhone that needs specific activation. Completely different problem arises for these guys because that iPhone needs to have a SIM card in order to get onto the cell network. And it also has built in serial numbers. [00:15:15] So what happens in those cases while apple goes ahead and disables them. So as soon as they connect to the internet, they didn't say they put them on wifi. They don't get a SIM card. They don't. Service from T-Mobile or Verizon or whoever it might be. So now they just connect to the wifi and it calls home. [00:15:33] Cause it's going to get updates and download stuff from the app store and they find that it's been bricked. Now you can do that with a lot of mobile device managers that are available for. All kinds of equipment nowadays, but certainly apple equipment where if a phone is lost or stolen or a laptop or other pieces of equipment, you can get on the MDM and disable it, have it remotely erase, et cetera. [00:16:00] Now, please have had some interesting problems with that. Because a bad guy might go ahead and erase a smartphone. That's in the evidence locker at the police station. So they're doing things like putting them into Faraday cages or static bags or other things to try and stop that. So I think we've established here that the higher tech equipment is pretty well protected. [00:16:25] You steal it. It's not going to do you much. Good. So one of the things the Russian stole when they were in a it's called a, I think you pronounced. Melad Mellott DePaul which is again, a Ukrainian city is they stole all of the equipment from a farm equipment dealership and shipped it to check. Now that's according to a source in a businessman in the area that CNN is reporting on. [00:16:56] So they shipped this equipment. We're talking about combine harvesters were 300 grand a piece. They shipped it 700 miles. And the thieves were ultimately unable to use the equipment because it had been locked remotely. So think about agriculture equipment that John Deere, in this case, these pieces of equipment, they, they drive themselves. [00:17:23] It's atonomous it goes up and down the field. Goes to any pattern that you want to it'll bring itself within a foot or an inch of your boundaries, of your property being very efficient the whole time, whether it's planting or harvesting, et cetera. And that's just a phenomenal thing because it saves so much time for the farmer makes it easier to do the companies like John Deere. [00:17:49] Want to sell as many pieces of this equipment as they possibly can. And farming is known to be a what not terribly profitable business. And certainly isn't like Facebook. So how can they get this expensive equipment into the hands of a lot of farmers? What they do is they use. So you can lease the equipment through leasing company or maybe directly from the manufacturer and now you're off and running. [00:18:16] But what happens if the lease isn't paid now? It's one thing. If you don't pay your lease on a $2,000 laptop, right? They're probably not going to come hunting for you, but when you're talking about a $300,000 harvester, they're more interested. So the leasing company. Has titled to the equipment and the leasing company can shut it off remotely. [00:18:41] You see where I'm going with this so that they can get their equipment in the hands of more farmers because the farmers can lease it. It costs them less. They don't have to have a big cash payment. You see how this all works. So when the Russian forces stole this equipment, that's valued, total value here is about $5 million. [00:19:02] They were able to shut it all off. And th the, obviously if you can't start the engine, because it's all shut off and it's all run by computers nowadays, and there's pros and cons to that. I think there's a lot of cons, but what are you going to do? How's that going to work for? Isn't going to work for you. [00:19:22] And they were able to track it and had GPS trackers find out exactly where it was. That's how they know it was Tara taken to Chechnya and could be controlled remotely. And in this case, how did they control it? They completely. Shut it off, even if they sell the harvesters for spare parts to learn some money, but they sure aren't gonna be able to sell them for the 300 grand that they were actually worth. [00:19:48] Hey, stick around. We'll be right back and visit me firstname.lastname@example.org. If you sign up there, you'll be able to get my insider show notes. And every week I have a quick. Training right there. New emails, Craig Peterson.com. [00:20:05] If you've been worried about ransomware, you are right to worry. It's up. It's costly. And we're going to talk about that right now. What are the stats? What can you do? What happens if you do get hacked? Interesting world! [00:20:20] Ransomware has been a very long running problem. I remember a client of ours, a car dealership who we had gone in. [00:20:31] We had improved all of their systems and their security, and one of them. People who was actually a senior manager, ended up downloading a piece of ransomware, one of these encrypted ones and opened it up and his machine all of a sudden, guess what it had ransomware on it. One of those big. Green's that say, pay up and send us this much Bitcoin, and here's our address. [00:21:00] All of that sort of stuff. And he called us up and said, what's going on here? What happened? First of all, don't bring your own machine into the office. Secondly, don't open up as particularly encrypted files using a password that they gave. And thirdly, we stopped it automatically. It did not spread. [00:21:20] We were able to completely restore his computer. Now let's consider here the consequences of what happened. So he obviously was scared. And within a matter of a couple of hours, we actually had him back to where he was and it didn't spread. So the consequences there, they weren't that bad. But how about if it had gotten worse? [00:21:47] How about if the ransomware. Also before it started holding his computer ransom, went out and found all of the data about their customers. What do you think an auto dealership would love to hear that all of their customer data was stolen and released all of the personal data of all of their customers? [00:22:08] Obviously not. So there's a potential cost there. And then how long do you think it would take a normal company? That thinks they have backups to get back online. All I can tell you it'll take quite a while because the biggest problem is most backups don't work. We have yet to go into a business that was actually doing backups that would work to help restore them. [00:22:35] And if you're interested, I can send you, I've got something I wrote up. Be glad to email it back to you. Obviously as usual, no charge. And you'll be able to go into that and figure out what you should do. Cause I, I break it down into the different types of backups and why you might want to use them or why you might not want to use them, but ransomware. [00:22:58] Is a kind of a pernicious nasty little thing, particularly nowadays, because it's to two factor, first is they've encrypted your data. You can't get to it. And then the second side of that is okay I can't get to my data and now they're threatening to hold my data ransom or they'll release. So they'll put it out there. [00:23:22] And of course, if you're in a regulated industry, which actually car dealers are because they deal with financial transactions, leases, loans, that sort of thing you can lose your license for your business. You can, you lose your ability to go ahead and frankly make loans and work with financial companies and financial instruments. [00:23:45] It could be a very big. So there are a lot of potential things that can happen all the way from losing your reputation as a business or an individual losing all of the money in your operating account. And again, we've got a client that we picked up afterwards. That yes, indeed. That lost all of the money in their operating account. [00:24:09] And then how do you make payroll? How do you do things? There's a new study that came out from checkpoint. Checkpoint is one of the original firewall companies and they had a look at ransomware. What are the costs of ransomware? Now bottom line, I'm looking at some stats here on a couple of different sites. [00:24:29] One is by the way, Conti, which is a big ransomware gang that also got hacked after they said we are going to attack anyone. That doesn't defend Plaid's invasion of Ukraine, and then they got hacked and their information was released, but here's ransomware statistics. This is from cloud words. First of all, the largest ransom demand is $50 million. [00:24:55] And that was in 2021 to Acer big computer company. 37% of businesses were hit by ransomware. In 2021. This is amazing. They're expecting by 2031. So in about a decade, ransomware is going to be costing about $265 billion a year. Now on average. Ransomware costs businesses. 1.8, $5 million to recover from an attack. [00:25:25] Now that's obviously not a one or two person place, but think of the car dealer again, how much money are they going to make over the year or over the life of the business? If you're a car dealer, you have a license to print money, right? You're selling car model or cars from manufacturers. And now you have the right to do that and they can remove that. [00:25:48] How many tens, hundreds of millions of dollars might that end up costing you? Yeah. Big deal. Total cost of ransomware last year, $20 billion. Now these are the interesting statistics here right now. So pay closer attention to this 32% of ransomware victims paid a ransom. So about a third Peter ransom demand. [00:26:12] Lastly. It's actually down because my recollection is it used to be about 50% would pay a ransom. Now on average that one third of victims that paid a ransom only recovered 65% of their data. Now that differs from a number I've been using from the FBI. That's a little bit older that was saying it ends it a little better than 50%, but 65% of pain victims recovered their. [00:26:41] Now isn't that absolutely amazing. Now 57% of companies were able to recover their data, using a cloud backup. Now think about the different types of backup cloud backup is something that can work pretty well if you're a home user, but how long did it take for your system to get back? Probably took weeks, right? [00:27:05] For a regular computer over a regular internet line. Now restoring from backups is going to be faster because your downlink is usually faster than your uplink. That's not true for businesses that have real internet service like ours. It's the same bandwidth up as it is down. But it can take again, days or weeks to try and recover your machine. [00:27:28] So it's very expensive. And I wish I had more time to go into this, but looking at the costs here and the fact that insurance companies are no longer paying out for a lot of these ransomware attacks, it could be credibly expensive for you incredibly. The number one business types by industry for ransomware attacks, retail. [00:27:59] That makes sense. Doesn't it. Real estate. Electrical contractors, law firms and wholesale building materials. Isn't that interesting? And that's probably because none of these people are really aware or conscious of doing what a, of keeping their data secure of having a good it team, a good it department. [00:28:24] So there's your bottom line. Those are the guys that are getting hit. The most, the numbers are increasing dramatically and your costs are not just in the money. You might pay as a ransom. And as it turns out in pretty much every case prevention. Is less expensive and much better than the cure of trying to pay ransom or trying to restore from backups. [00:28:52] Hey, you're listening to Craig Peterson. You can get my weekly show notes by just going to craig peterson.com. [00:29:00] You and I have talked about passwords before the way to generate them and how important they are. We'll go over that again a little bit in just a second, but there's a new standard out there that will eliminate the need for passwords. [00:29:16] Passwords are a necessary evil, at least they have been forever. I remember, I think the only system I've ever really used that did not require passwords was the IBM 360. [00:29:31] Yeah, 360, you punch up the cards, all of the JCL you feed the card deck in and off it goes. And does this little thing that was a different day, a different era. When I started in college in university, we. We had a remote systems, timeshare systems that we could log into. And there weren't much in the line of password requirements. [00:29:58] And, but you had a username, you had a simple password. And I remember one of our instructors, his name was Robert, Andrew Lang, and his password was always some sort of a combination of RA Lang. So it was always easy to guess what his password was. Today. It has gotten a lot worse today. We have devices with us all the time. [00:30:22] You might be wearing a smart watch. That requires a password. You course probably have a smartphone that also maybe requiring a password. Certainly after it boots nowadays they use fingerprints or facial recognition, which is handy, but it has its own drawbacks. But how about the websites? You're going to the systems you're using in you're at work and logging in. [00:30:49] They all require password. And usernames of some sort or another well, apple, Google, and Microsoft have all committed to expanding their support for a standard. That's actually been out there for a few years. It's called the Fido standard. And the idea behind this is that you don't have to have a password in order to. [00:31:15] Now that's really an interesting thing, right? Just looking at it because we're so used to have in this password only authenticate. And of course the thing to do there is to make sure you have for your password, multiple words in the password, it should really be a pass phrase. And between the words put in special characters or numbers, maybe. [00:31:41] Upper lower case a little bit. In those words, those are the best passwords, 20 characters, 30 characters long. And then if you have to have a pin, I typically use a 12 digit pin. And how do I remember all of these? Cause I use a completely different password for every website and right now, Let me pull it up. [00:32:03] I'm using one password dot coms, password manager. And my main password for that is about 25 characters long. And I have thirty one hundred and thirty five. And trees here in my password manager, 3,100, that is a whole lot of passwords, right? As well as software licenses and a few other things in there. [00:32:30] That's how we remember them is using a password manager. One password.com is my favorite. Now, obviously I don't make any money by referring you there. I really do like that. Some others that I've liked in the past include last pass, but they really meant. With some of their cybersecurity last year and I lost my faith in it. [00:32:51] So now what they're trying to do is make these websites that we go to as well as some apps to have a consistent, secure, and passwordless. And they're going to make it available to consumers across all kinds of devices and platforms. That's why you've got apple, Google, and Microsoft all committing to it. [00:33:15] And you can bet everybody else is going to follow along because there's hundreds of other companies that have decided they're going to work with the Fido Alliance and they're going to create this passwordless future. Which I like this idea. So how does this work? Basically you need to have a smartphone. [00:33:33] This is, I'm just going to go with the most standard way that this is going to work here in the future, and you can then have. Passkey, this is like a multi-factor authentication or two factor authentication. So for instance, right now, when I sign into a website online, I'm giving a username, given a password, and then it comes up and it asks me for a code. [00:33:57] So I enter in a six digit code and that code changes every 30 seconds. And again, I use my password manager from one password. In order to generate that code. So that's how I log into Microsoft site and Google sites and all kinds of sites out there. So it's a similar thing here now for the sites for my company, because we do cyber security for businesses, including regulated businesses. [00:34:24] We have biometrics tied in as. So to log into our systems, I have to have a username. I have to have a password. I then am sent to a single sign-on page where I have to have a message sent to my smart device. That then has a special app that uses biometrics either a face ID or a fingerprint to verify who I am. [00:34:49] Yeah, there's a lot there, but I have to protect my customers. Something that very few it's crazy. Actual managed security services providers do, but it's important, right? By the way, if you want my password. Special report, just go to Craig peterson.com. Sign up for my email list. I'll send that to you. [00:35:13] That's what we're sending out right now for anyone who signs up email@example.com. And if you'd like a copy of it in you're already on the list, just go ahead and email me. At Craig peterson.com and ask for the password special report where I go through a lot of this sort of thing. So what will happen with this is you go to a website and I might come up with a QR code. [00:35:37] So you then scan that QR code with your phone and verify it, authorize it on your phone. You might again to have it set up so that your phone requires a facial recognition or perhaps it'll require a fingerprint. And now you are. Which is very cool. They fix some security problems in Fido over the last few years, which is great over the coming year. [00:36:02] You're going to see this available on apple devices, Google Microsoft platforms, and it really is simple, stronger authentication. That's sort of Fido calls it. But it is going to make your life a lot easy, easier. It is a standard and the passwordless future makes a whole lot of sense for all of us. Now, I want to talk about another thing here that just bothered me for a long time. [00:36:30] I have a sister. Who is in the medical field and gives prescriptions, doctor thing. And I think she's not quite a doctor. I can't remember what she has. She's an LPN or something. And anyhow, so she. We'll get on a zoom call with someone and they'll go through medical history and what's happening right now and she'll make prescriptions. [00:36:57] And so I warned her about that saying, it is very bad to be using zoom because zoom is not secure. Never has been, probably never will be right. If you want secure. To go and pay for it from one of these providers like WebEx, that's what we use. We have a version of WebEx that is set up to be secure. [00:37:20] So I talked to her about that and said, Hey, listen, you can't do this. You've really got to go another way here. And so she started using one of these mental or. Medical health apps. What I want to talk about right now specifically are some checks that were just performed some audits on mental health apps. [00:37:45] That's why I messed up a second ago, but what they looked at is that things are a serious problem there. And then fact, the threat post, just calling it a. Frankly, just plain old creepy. So they've got some good intentions. They want to help with mental health. You've probably seen these or at least heard them advertise. [00:38:06] So you can get on the horn with a mental health professional, a doctor or otherwise in order to help you here with your psychological or spiritual wellness. And people are sharing their personal and sensitive data with third parties and have 32 mental health and prayer mobile apps that were investigated by the open source organization. [00:38:32] 28, 28 of the 32 were found to be inherently insecure and were given a privacy not included label, including others here. So this is a report. That was released here by the open source organization, tied into Mozilla. Those are the Firefox people. They have what they call their minimum security standards. [00:38:56] So things like requiring strong passwords, managing security, updates, and vulnerabilities, et cetera. 25 of the 32 failed to meet. Even those minimum security standards. So these apps are dealing with some of the most sensitive mental health and wellness issues people can possibly have, right? Depression, anxieties, suicidal fonts, domestic violence, eating disorders. [00:39:23] And they are being just terrible with your security Mozilla researchers spent 255 hours or about eight hours per product pairing under the hood of the security, watching the data that was going back and forth, right between all of these mental health and prayer apps. It was just crazy. So for example, eight of the apps reviewed, allowed weak passwords, that range. [00:39:52] One digit one as the password to 1, 1, 1, 1, while a mental health app called a mood fit only required one letter or digit as a password. Now that is very concerning for an app that collects mood and symptom data. So be very careful. Two of the apps better help a popular app that connects users with therapists and better stop suicide, which is a course of suicide prevention app have vague and messy, according to Mozilla privacy policies that have little or no effect on actual. [00:40:30] User data protection. So be very careful. And if you're a mental health, professional or medical professional, don't just go and use these open video calls, et cetera, et cetera, find something good. And there are some standards out there. Again. Visit me online, get my insider show notes every week. Get my little mini trends. [00:40:56] And they come up most weeks. Just go to Craig peterson.com. And I'll send you my special report on passwords and more. [00:41:06] We know the Russians have been attacking us. I've talked a lot about it on the radio station, all kinds of stations. In fact, here over the last couple of weeks, and I am doing something special, we are going through the things you can do to keep safe. [00:41:23] Last week we started doing something I promise we would continue. [00:41:27] And that is how can you protect yourself when it comes to the Russians, right? When it comes to the bad guys, because the Russians are definitely the bad guys. There's a few things you can do. And there's a few things, frankly, you shouldn't be doing. And that's exactly what we're going to talk about right now. [00:41:45] So last week he went over some steps, some things that you can look at that you should look at that are going to help protect you. And we are going to go into this a whole lot more today. And so I want you to stick around and if you miss anything, you can go online. You can go to Craig peterson.com, make sure you sign up there for my email. [00:42:08] And what I'm going to do for you is. Send you a few different documents now where we can chat back and forth about it, but I can send you this. Now I'm recording this on video as well as on audio. So you can follow along if you're watching either on YouTube or. Over on rumble and you can find it also on my website. [00:42:32] I've been trying to post it up there too, but right now let's talk about what we call passive backend protections. So you've got the front end and the front end of course, is. Stuff coming at you, maybe to the firewall I've mentioned last week about customers of mine. I was just looking at a few customers this week, just so I could have an idea of their firewalls. [00:42:59] And they were getting about 10 attacks per minute. Yeah. And these were customers who have requirements from the department of defense because they are defense sub subcontractors. So again, Potential bad guys. So I looked up their IP addresses and where the attacks were coming from. Now, remember that doesn't mean where they originated because the bad guys can hop through multiple machines and then get onto your machine. [00:43:28] What it means is that all, ultimately they ended up. Coming from one machine, right? So there's an IP address of that machine. That's attacking my clients or are attacking my machines. That just happens all the time. A lot of scans, but some definite attacks where they're trying to log in using SSH. [00:43:48] And what I found is these were coming from Slovakia, Russia, and Iran. Kind of what you were expecting, right? The Iranians, they just haven't given up yet. They keep trying to attack, particularly our military in our industry. One of the things we found out this week from, again, this was an FBI notice is that the Russians have been going after our industrial base. [00:44:15] And that includes, in fact, it's more specifically our automobile manufacturers we've already got problems, right? Try buying a new car, try buying parts. I was with my friend, just this. I helped them because he had his car right. Need to get picked up. So I took him over to pick up his car and we chatted a little bit with this small independent automotive repair shop. [00:44:40] And they were telling us that they're getting sometimes six, eight week delays on getting parts and some parts. They just can't. So they're going to everything from junkyards on out, and the worst parts are the parts, the official parts from the car manufacturers. So what's been happening is Russia apparently has been hacking into these various automobile manufacturers and automobile parts manufacturers. [00:45:10] And once they're inside, they've been putting in. A remote control button net. And those botnets now have the ability to wake up when they want them to wake up. And then once they've woken up, what do they do? Who knows? They've been busy erasing machines causing nothing, but having they've been doing all kinds of stuff in the past today, they're sitting there. [00:45:31] Which makes you think they're waiting, it's accumulate as much as you possibly can. And then once you've got it all accumulated go ahead and attack. So they could control thousands of machines, but they're not just in the U S it's automobile manufacturers in Japan. That we found out about. [00:45:50] So that's what they're doing right now. So you've got the kind of that front end and back end protections. So we're going to talk a little bit about the back end. What does that mean? When a cybersecurity guy talks about the backend and the protections. I got it up on my green right now, but here's the things you can do. [00:46:10] Okay. Remember, small businesses are just getting nailed from these guys, because again, they're fairly easy targets. One change your passwords, right? How many times do we have to say that? And yet about 70% of businesses out there are not using a good password methodology. If you want more information on passwords, two factor authentication, you name it. [00:46:37] Just email me M firstname.lastname@example.org. I want to get the information out now. You got to make sure that all of the passwords on your systems are encrypted are stored in some sort of a good password vault as you really should be looking at 256 bit encryption or better. I have a vendor of. That I use. So if you get my emails every week, when them, there's the little training. [00:47:06] And so I'll give you a five minute training. It's written usually it's in bullet point for, I'm just trying to help you understand things. That provider of mine has a big database and there's another provider that I use that is for. So the training guys use the database of my provider. [00:47:27] In using that database, they're storing the passwords and the training providers putting passwords in the clinics. Into the database, which is absolutely crazy. So again, if you're a business, if you're storing any sort of personal information, particularly passwords, make sure that you're using good encryption and your S what's called salting the hash, which means. [00:47:53] You're not really storing the password, just joining assaulted hash. I can send you more on this. If you are a business and you're developing software that's, this is long tail stuff here. Configure all of the security password settings so that if someone's trying to log in and is failing that, and you block it, many of us that let's say you're a small business. [00:48:15] I see this all of the time. Okay. You're not to blame. You, but you have a firewall that came from the cable company. Maybe you bought it at a big box retailer. Maybe you bought it online over at Amazon, as hurricane really great for you. Has it got settings on there that lets you say. There's 20 attempts to log in. [00:48:38] Maybe we should stop them. Now, what we do personally for our customers is typically we'll block them at somewhere around three or four failed attempts and then their passwords block. Now you can configure that sort of thing. If you're using. Email. And that's an important thing to do. Let me tell you, because we've had some huge breaches due to email, like Microsoft email and passwords and people logging in and stealing stuff. [00:49:06] It was just a total nightmare for the entire industry last year, but limit the number of login retries as well as you're in there. These excessive login attempts or whatever you want to define it as needs to lock the account. And what that means is even if they have the right password, they can't get in and you have to use an administrative password in order to get in. [00:49:31] You also want to, what's called throttle, the rate of repeated logins. Now you might've gotten caught on this, right? You went to your bank, you went to E-bay, you went to any of these places and all of a sudden. And denied you write it blocked you. That can happen when your account is on these hackers lists. [00:49:51] You remember last week we talked about password spraying while that's a very big deal and hackers are doing the sprain trick all of the time, and that is causing you to get locked out of your own account. So if you do get locked out, remember it might be because someone's trying to break. Obviously you have to enforce the policies. [00:50:16] The capture is a very good thing. Again, this is more for software developer. We always recommend that you use multifactor or two factor authentication. Okay. Do not use your SMS, your text messages for that, where they'll send you a text message to verify who you are. If you can avoid that, you're much better off. [00:50:36] Cause there's some easy ways to get around that for hackers that are determined. Okay. A multi-factor again, installed an intrusion. system. We put right at the network edge and between workstations and servers, even inside the network, we put detection systems that look for intrusion attempts and block intrusion attempts. [00:51:02] A very important use denied lists to block known attackers. We build them automatically. We use some of the higher end Cisco gates. Cisco is a big network provider. They have some of the best hardware and software out there, and you have to subscribe to a lot of people complain. I ain't going to just go buy a firewall for 200 bucks on Amazon. [00:51:24] Why would I pay that much a month just to to have a Cisco firewall? And it's like praying pain for the brand. I've got by logo chert on here. Oh, I wouldn't pay for that. No, it's because they are automatically providing block lists that are updated by the minute sometimes. And then make sure you've got an incident response plan in place. [00:51:50] What are you going to do when they come for you? What are you going to do? [00:51:55] Now we're going to talk about prevention. What can you do an order to stop some of these attacks that are coming from Russia and from other countries, it is huge. People. Believe me, this is a very big problem. And I'm here to help. [00:52:12] We've reviewed a number of things that are important when it comes to your cyber security and your protection. [00:52:20] We talked about the front end. We talked about the backend. Now we're going to talk about pure prevention and if you're watching. Online. You'll be able to see my slides as they come up, as we talk about some of this stuff and you'll find me on YouTube and you'll also find me on rumble, a fairly new platform out there platform that doesn't censor you for the things you say. [00:52:44] Okay. So here we go. First of all, enabling your active directory password protection is going to. Four's password protection all the way through your business. Now I've had some discussions with people over the months, over the years about this whole thing and what should be done, what can be done, what cannot be done. [00:53:09] Hey, it's a very big deal when it comes to password protection and actor directory, believe it or not, even though it's a Microsoft product is pretty darn good at a few things. One of them is. Controlling all the machines and the devices. One of the things we do is we use an MDM or what used to be a mobile device manager called mass 360. [00:53:34] It's available from IBM. We have a special version of that allows us as a managed security services provider to be able to control everything on people's machines. Active directory is something you should seriously consider. If you are a Mac based shop. Like I am. In fact, I'm sitting right now in front of two max that I'm using right now, you'll find that active directory is a little bit iffy. [00:54:04] Sometimes for max, there are some work around and it's gotten better mastery. 60 is absolutely the way to go, but make sure you've got really good. Passwords and the types of passwords that are most prone to sprain the attacks are the ones you should be banning specifically. Remember the website? Have I been poned? [00:54:28] Yeah. It's something that you should go to pretty frequently. And again, if you miss anything today, just email me M email@example.com. Believe me, I am not going to harass you at all. Okay. Now, the next thing that you should be doing is what's called red team blue team. Now the red team is a group of people, usually outside of your organization. [00:54:54] If you're a big company they're probably inside, but the red team is the team that attacks you. They're white hat hackers, who are attacking you, looking for vulnerabilities, looking for things that you should or shouldn't be doing. And then the blue team is the side that's trying to defend. So think of, like war games. [00:55:12] Remember that movie with Matthew Broderick all of those decades ago and how the, he was trying to defend that computer was trying to defend that it moved into an attack mode, right? Red team's attack, blue team is defend. So you want. To conduct simulated attacks. Now w conducting these attacks include saying, oh my let's now put in place and execute our plan here for what are we going to do once we have a. [00:55:44] And you darn well better have a breach plan in place. So that's one of the things that we help as a fractional chief information security officer for companies, right? You've got to get that in place and you have to conduct these simulated attacks and you have to do penetration testing, including password spraying attacks. [00:56:04] There's so many things you can do. The one of the things that we like to do and that you might want to do, whether you're a home user, retiree or a business is go and look online, you can just use Google. I use far more advanced tools, but you can use Google and look for your email address right there. [00:56:23] Look for the names of people inside your organization. And then say wait a minute, does that data actually need to be there? Or am I really exposing the company exposing people's information that shouldn't be out there because you remember the hackers. One of the things they do is they fish you fish as in pH. [00:56:47] So they'll send you an email that looks like. Hey let me see. I know that Mary is the CFO, and I know that Joe's going to be out of town for two weeks in The Bahamas, not a touch. So while he's got. I'm going to send an email to Mary, to get her to do something, to transfer the company's funds to me. [00:57:06] Okay. So that's what that's all about. You've got to make sure, where is our information? And if you go to my company's page, mainstream.net, you'll see on there that I don't list any of the officers or any of the people that are in the company, because that again is a security problem. [00:57:24] We're letting them know. I go to some of these sites, like professional sites lawyers, doctors, countenance, and I find right there all, are there people right there top people or sometimes all of them. And then we'll say, yeah, I went to McGill university, went to Harvard, whatever my B. It's all there. So now they've got great information to fish you, to fish that company, because all they have to do is send an email to say, Hey, you remember me? [00:57:56] We're in Harvard when this class together. And did you have as a professor to see how that works? Okay. You also want to make. That you implement, what's called a passwordless user agent, and this is just so solely effective. If they cannot get into your count, what's going to, what could possibly go wrong, but one of the ways to not allow them into the count is to use. [00:58:24] Biometrics. We use something called duo and we have that tied into the single sign-on and the duo single sign-on works great because what it does now is I put in, I go to a site, I put it into my username and. Pulls up a special splash page that is running on one of our servers. That again asks me for my duo username. [00:58:48] So I've got my username for the site then to my dual username and my duo password single sign on. And then it sends me. To an app on my smart device, a request saying, Hey, are you trying to log into Microsoft? And w whatever it might be at Microsoft, and you can say yes or no, and it uses biometric. [00:59:11] So those biometrics now are great because it says, oh, okay, I need a face ID or I need a thumb print, whatever it might be that allows a generalized, a password, less access. Okay. Password less. Meaning no pass. So those are some of the top things you can do when it comes to prevention. And if you use those, they're never going to be able to get at your data because it's something you have along with something, it works great. [00:59:45] And we like to do this. Some customers. I don't like to go through those hoops of the single sign-on and using duo and making that all work right where we're fine with it. We've got to keep ourselves, at least as secure as the DOD regulations require unlike almost anybody else in industry, I'm not going to brag about it. [01:00:09] But some of our clients don't like to meet the tightest of controls. And so sometimes they don't. I hate to say that, but they just don't and it's a fine line between. Getting your work done and being secure, but I think there's some compromises it can be readily made. We're going to talk next about saving your data from ransomware and the newest ransomware. [01:00:36] We're going to talk about the third generation. That's out there right now. Ransomware, it's getting crazy. Let me tell ya and what it's doing to us and what you can do. What is a good backup that has changed over the last 12 months? It's changed a lot. I used to preach 3, 2, 1. There's a new sheriff in town. [01:00:58] Stick around Craig peterson.com. [01:01:02] 3, 2, 1 that used to be the standard, the gold standard for backing up. It is no longer the case with now the third generation of ransomware. You should be doing something even better. And we'll talk about it now. [01:01:19] We're doing this as a simulcast here. It's on YouTube. It is also on rumble. [01:01:27] It's on my firstname.lastname@example.org because we're going through the things that you can do, particularly if you're a business. To stop the Russian invasion because as we've been warned again and again, the Russians are after us and our data. So if you missed part of what we're talking about today, or. [01:01:50] Last week show, make sure you send me an email. email@example.com. This is the information you need. If you are responsible in any way for computers, that means in your home, right? Certainly in businesses, because what I'm trying to do is help and save those small businesses that just can't afford to have full-time. [01:02:15] True cyber security personnel on site. So that's what the whole fractional chief information security officer thing is about. Because you just, you can't possibly afford it. And believe me, that guy that comes in to fix your computers is no cyber security expert. These people that are attacking our full time cybersecurity experts in the coming from every country in the world, including the coming from the us. [01:02:44] We just had more arrests last week. So let's talk about ransomware correctly. Ransomware, very big problem. Been around a long time. The first version of ransomware was software got onto your computer through some mechanism, and then you had that red screen. We've all seen that red screen and it says, Hey, pay up buddy. [01:03:07] It says here you need to send so many Bitcoin or a fraction of a Bitcoin or so many dollars worth of Bitcoin. To this Bitcoin wallet. And if you need any help, you can send email here or do a live chat. They're very sophisticated. We should talk about it some more. At some point that was one generation. [01:03:29] One generation two was not everybody was paying the ransoms. So what did they do at that point? They said let me see if they, we can ransom the data by encrypting it and having them pay us to get it back. 50% of the time issue got all your data back. Okay. Not very often. Not often enough that's for sure. [01:03:49] Or what we could do is let's steal some of their intellectual property. Let's steal some of their data, their social security number, their bank, account numbers, et cetera. They're in a, in an Excel spreadsheet on their company. And then we'll, if they don't pay that first ransom, we'll tell them if they don't pay up, we'll release their information. [01:04:10] Sometimes you'll pay that first ransom and then they will hold you ransom a second time, pretending to be a different group of cyber terrorists. Okay. Number three, round three is what we're seeing right now. And this is what's coming from Russia, nears, everything we can tell. And that is. They are erasing our machines. [01:04:31] Totally erasing them are pretty sophisticated ways of erasing it as well, so that it sinks in really, it's impossible to recover. It's sophisticated in that it, it doesn't delete some key registry entries until right at the very end and then reboots and computer. And of course, there's. Computer left to reboot, right? [01:04:55] It's lost everything off of that hard drive or SSD, whatever your boot devices. So let's talk about the best ways here to do some of this backup and saving your data from ransomware. Now you need to use offsite disconnected. Backups, no question about it. So let's talk about what's been happening. [01:05:17] Hospitals, businesses, police departments, schools, they've all been hit, right? And these ransomware attacks are usually started by a person. I'll link in an email. Now this is a poison link. Most of the time, it used to be a little bit more where it was a word document, an Excel document that had something nasty inside Microsoft, as I've said, many times has truly pulled up their socks. [01:05:45] Okay. So it doesn't happen as much as it used to. Plus with malware defender turned on in your windows operating system. You're going to be a little bit safer next step. A program tries to run. Okay. And it effectively denies access to all of that data. Because it's encrypted it. And then usually what it does so that your computer still works. [01:06:09] Is it encrypts all of you, like your word docs, your Excel docs, your databases, right? Oh, the stuff that matters. And once they've got all of that encrypted, you can't really access it. Yeah. The files there, but it looks like trash now. There's new disturbing trends. It has really developed over the last few months. [01:06:31] So in addition to encrypting your PC, it can now encrypt an entire network and all mounted drives, even drives that are marrying cloud services. Remember this, everybody, this is really a big deal because what will happen here is if you have let's say you've got an old driver G drive or some drive mounted off of your network. [01:06:57] You have access to it from your computer, right? Yeah. You click on that drive. And now you're in there and in the windows side Unix and max are a little different, but the same general idea you have access to you have right. Access to it. So what they'll do is any mounted drive, like those network drives is going to get encrypted, but the same thing is true. [01:07:20] If you are attaching a U S B drive to your company, So that USB drive, now that has your backup on it gets encrypted. So if your network is being used to back up, and if you have a thumb drive a USB drive, it's not really a thumb drive, right? There's external drive, but countered by USP hooked up. [01:07:45] And that's where your backup lives. Your. Because you have lost it. And there have been some pieces of software that have done that for awhile. Yeah. When they can encrypt your network drive, it is really going after all whole bunch of people, because everyone that's using that network drive is now effective, and it is absolutely. [01:08:10] Devastating. So the best way to do this is you. Obviously you do a bit of a local backup. We will usually put a server at the client's site that is used as a backup destiny. Okay. So that servers, the destination, all of the stuff gets backed up there. It's encrypted. It's not on the network per se. It's using a special encrypted protocol between each machine and the backup server. And then that backup servers data gets pushed off site. Some of our clients, we even go so far as to push it. To a tape drive, which is really important too, because now you have something physical that is by the way, encrypted that cannot be accessed by the attacker. [01:09:03] It's offsite. So we have our own data center. The, we run the, we manage the no one else has access to it is ours. And we push all of those backups offsite to our data center, which gives us another advantage. If a machine crashes badly, right? The hard disk fails heaven forbid they get ransomware. We've never had that happen to one of our clients. [01:09:29] Just we've had it happen prior to them becoming clients, is that we can now restore. That machine either virtually in the cloud, or we can restore it right onto a piece of hardware and have them up and running in four hours. It can really be that fast, but it's obviously more expensive than in some. [01:09:51] Are looking to pay. All right, stick around. We've got more to talk about when we come back and what are the Russians doing? How can you protect your small business? If you're a one, man, one woman operation, believe it. You've got to do this as well. Or you could lose everything. In fact, I think our small guys have even more to lose Craig peterson.com. [01:10:16] Backups are important. And we're going to talk about the different types of backups right now, what you should be doing, whether you're a one person, little business, or you are a, multi-national obviously a scale matters. [01:10:32] Protecting your data is one of the most important things you can possibly do. [01:10:36] I have clients who had their entire operating account emptied out, completely emptied. It's just amazing. I've had people pay. A lot of money to hackers to try and get data back. And I go back to this one lady over in Eastern Europe who built a company out of $45 million. By herself. And of course you probably heard about the shark tank people, right? [01:11:07] Barbara Cochran, how she almost lost $400,000 to a hacker. In fact, the money was on its way when she noticed what was going on and was able to stop it. So thank goodness she was able to stop it. But she was aware of these problems was looking for the potential and was able to catch it. How many of us are paying that much attention? [01:11:34] And now one of the things you can do that will usually kind of protect you from some of the worst outcomes. And when it comes to ransomware is to backup. And I know everybody says, yeah, I'm backing up. It's really rare. When we go in and we find a company has been backing up properly, it even happens to us sometimes. [01:11:59] We put them back up regimen in place and things seem to be going well, but then when you need the backup, oh my gosh, we just had this happen a couple of weeks ago. Actually this last week, this is what happened. We have. Something called an FMC, which is a controller from Cisco that actually controls firewalls in our customer's locations. [01:12:26] This is a big machine. It monitors stuff. It's tied into this ice server, which is. Looking for nastiness and we're bad guys trying to break in, right? It's intrusion detection and prevention and tying it into this massive network of a billion data points a day that Cisco manages. Okay. It's absolutely huge. [01:12:48] And we're running it in a virtual machine network. So we. Two big blade. Chassies full of blades and blades are each blade is a computer. So it has multiple CPU's and has a whole bunch of memory. It also has in there storage and we're using something that VMware calls visa. So it's a little virtual storage area network. [01:13:15] That's located inside this chassis and there are multiple copies of everything. So if a storage unit fails, you're still, okay. Everything stays up, it keeps running. And we have it set up so that there's redundancy on pond redundancy. One of the redundancies was to back it up to a file server that we have that's running ZFS, which is phenomenal. [01:13:40] Let me tell you, it is the best file system out there I've never ever had a problem with it. It's just crazy. I can send you more information. If you ever interested, just email firstname.lastname@example.org. Anytime. Be glad to send you the open source information, whatever you need. But what had happened is. [01:13:57] Somehow the boot disk of that FMC, that, that firewall controller had been corrupted. So we thought, oh, okay, no problem. Let's look at our backups. Yeah, hadn't backed up since October, 2019. Yeah, and we didn't know it had been silently failing. Obviously we're putting stuff in place to stop that from ever happening again. [01:14:27] So we are monitoring the backups, the, that network. Of desks that was making up that storage area network that had the redundancy failed because the machine itself, somehow corrupted its file system, ext four file system right then are supposed to be corruptible, but the journal was messed up and it was man, what a headache. [01:14:51] And so they thought, okay, you're going to have to re-install. And we were sitting there saying, oh, you're kidding me. Reinstalling this FMC controller means we've got to configure our clients, firewalls that are being controlled from this FMC, all of their networks, all of their devices. We had to put it out. [01:15:07] This is going to take a couple of weeks. So because I've been doing this for so long. I was able to boot up an optics desk and Mount the file system and go in manually underneath the whole FMC, this whole firewall controller and make repairs to it. Got it repaired, and then got it back online. So thank goodness for that. [01:15:33] It happens to the best of us, but I have to say I have never had a new client where they had good backups. Ever. Okay. That, and now that should tell you something. So if you are a business, a small business, whatever it might be, check your backups, double check them. Now, when we're running backups, we do a couple of things. [01:15:57] We go ahead and make sure the backup is good. So remember I mentioned that we h
In this weeks episode - - Pulling apart CoreLogic April property data and current trends, - Median Price and how it can be misleading, - RBA cash rate and how does it impact you as property owner, & lot more! DISCLAIMER: Host/Guest are not Financial Adviser/Investment Consultant. All opinions expressed by host or his guests are for informational purposes only and should not be treated as investment/financial advice of any kind. "Spark your FIRE" and its team are not liable to the listeners or any other party, for the listeners use of, or reliance on, any information received, directly or indirectly, from the content in any circumstances. Please conduct your own research and obtain independent legal, financial, taxation and/or other professional advice in respect of any decision made in connection with this audio. Contact - email@example.com #ASX#StockMarket#BankStocks#CommercialRealEstate #FiatCurrency#Bitcoin#Blockchain#Dectralization #HardMoney#Worldreserve#Mining#POW#EnergyStorage #QEforever#CDBC#InvestorsPodcast#Libra#SDR#MMT #facebook#Snapchat#TechStocks#IndustrialWarehouse #Litecoin#Ethereum#Gold#Property#Artificial intelligence #Gold #Silver #Monetary policy
In this episode we open by discussing this year's plan for determining our fantasy football draft order. We will each run the 40 yard dash. The fastest times get to pick their draft position. From there we grade how our favorite teams did in the NFL draft. We end the episode by giving our early Rookie of the Year predictions.Follow us on IG and Facebook: @leaguewithnonameSubscribe: Youtube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeart RadioSupport the show
Deb's husband Roger asks three questions about dogs- 1- Why are some dogs reactive to strangers in the house?2- How do you keep a dog from reacting to cars on counrty roads.3- How to keep your dog from pulling on a leash?
In today's episode, we look at the crypto market and the effects of luna pulling out 1.4billion dollars from bitcoin and Egypt becoming the largest buyer of gold among the central banks in the world.
What's crazier? Pulling off a nine-run comeback in the ninth or having three cycles against the same team? Well the Brewers almost accomplished both in Wednesday's finale in Cincinnati. Christian Yelich went 4-for-5 in his third career cycle - yes, all against the Reds - but the Brewers dropped the contest by a 15-11 final. Despite a poor performance from the pitching staff, Dom finds positives in what was an otherwise unremarkable series finale. He also dives into a key role that is lacking depth for the Brew Crew and could haunt them in the second half. With an off day today, the Brewers prepare for their reunion with Avisaíl Garcia in Miami on Friday - the final three games of a nine-game road trip. Support Us By Supporting Our Sponsors! Built Bar Built Bar is a protein bar that tastes like a candy bar. Go to builtbar.com and use promo code “LOCKED15,” and you'll get 15% off your next order. BetOnline BetOnline.net has you covered this season with more props, odds and lines than ever before. BetOnline – Where The Game Starts! Rock Auto Amazing selection. Reliably low prices. All the parts your car will ever need. Visit RockAuto.com and tell them Locked On sent you. Athletic Greens To make it easy, Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit athleticgreens.com/MLBNETWORK LinkedIn LinkedIn Jobs helps you find the candidates you want to talk to, faster. Did you know every week, nearly 40 million job seekers visit LinkedIn? Post your job for free at LinkedIn.com/LOCKEDONMLB. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
A mother's passion is to help her children learn and grow into the successful adults they will hopefully become. A critical part of that is a good education. Join us as we talk with our guest Melanie Bertoglio and dive into this exciting topic! Melanie is a mother to adult children, principle, teacher, and church leader. Pulling from her education, and experience she works full time running, maintaining, and teaching at a christian school. Melanie and the Simply HIS ladies share practical advice on how to raise children in the midst of the very real challenges our kids face in the world today! Find out more at the Simply HIS Coffee Shop!
Should we be doing more to shut down Gloriavale? That's the question being thrown around after the court confirmed the 'use of child labour' within the compound. Former member Aaron Courage reiterated that point this morning. But how do you actually shut down a community that's home to over 500 people, a huge exporter of goods and all the residents have ever known? James Harrison is another former Gloriavale member who lived in the community for over 40 years. James joined Heather du Plessis-Allan. LISTEN ABOVE
How Do I Deal With A Man Who's Pulling Away Because Of Money Issues?... The Forever Woman - http://theforeverwomanformula.com/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/matthew-coast/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/matthew-coast/support
Is Jesse's critique of Mother's Day brunches fair or foul following the day that features the "Super Bowl of Brunches" around the country. Wilde & Tausch Trivia features famous sports moms. Whoa Nelly! including asking how many times is it fair to ask someone to help you move? And a final check on the pulse of the fans on Mother's Day brunch.
We all have a guilty musical pleasure. Admit it.A band we return to as the soundtrack to some other season.An album we replay because it.still. holds.up.The song we blast in the car when it comes on — lyrics flowing freely, dance moves optional.Because music stirs us, evokes emotion, forms memory, and helps us return to ourselves.Which is why we shouldn't be surprised that, at times, early Christian authors seem to have drawn on the songs and poetry around them as they wrote. Pulling meaningful words, rhythm,and melody together to inspire their reflection and theology.And this is a fascinating idea — that musicality shaped Scripture, but also that it plays a role in what makes these words compelling today.Join us as we explore this ancient playlist together!★ Support this podcast ★
EPISODE 120: TRUE CRIME! PIERCED NIPPLES, A PICNIC, AND PULLING A RABBIT OUT OF A HAT. Mel tells us about some crazy true crime stories that will leave you saying WTF! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/gothandbougiepodcast/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/gothandbougiepodcast/support
Its your second show of the week! Its OHNO 2.0, the first of many fun things to come. Stick around with us, it will be worth it. Also make sure to rate us 5 stars on apple podcasts or wherever you find us. 5 stars and up votes and all that. Basically do something for us you lazy POS. Patreon.com/onrs Anyway the show: Pulling a booger from your brain James corden is going away Animals with black faces look like assholes: German Shepards and sheep Bennys vm / thanks to amber Amber_bludreamz on ig Alien rap Gay dudes and meth What place is cooler? Mexico v japan Mexico v South Africa Mexico v Canada Mexico v France Mexico v China ohnoradioshow.com ohnowrestling.com ohnomedia.com patreon.com/onrs Leave a VM at 407-906-6466 Find our FB Group. Ohnoradioshow
Chris Hayes, host of MSNBC's All in with Chris Hayes, sits down with Jon to talk about the ways the internet has reshaped what we can hear online, creating an era of mass fame. Pulling from his New Yorker essay “On the Internet, We're Always Famous,” Chris explains his distinction between attention and recognition and makes the case that this new era isn't just bad for our society, it's bad for our souls.
Karch Kiraly, an Olympic gold medalist in volleyball and coach of the USA women's national volleyball team, joins Mike Max to talk about the state of high school volleyball around the country and why he would love to see it as a sanctioned sport in Minnesota.
Standup comedy is under attack, figuratively and literally. In the past few months, Dave Chappelle and Chris Rock were both physically assaulted on stage. And with increasing calls to silence offensive comics, more attacks are likely. But why should you, good citizen, care? Why should you stand up for a bunch of degenerates who just want to tell dirty jokes? It's because offensive comedy has a long history in America of shining light on issues that "good" people would rather just ignore. From Lenny Bruce to George Carlin to Richard Pryor to—yes—Andrew Dice Clay, offensive comics have a unique ability to get us talking about subjects that make us uncomfortable. And it's only through this openness that we're able to question premises, traditions, and biases, and decide whether change is necessary. Offensive comedy matters, and it deserves protecting. Sources: The Comedians: Drunks, Thieves, Scoundrels and the History of American Comedy https://www.amazon.com/Comedians-Thieves-Scoundrels-History-American/dp/0802125689 The Trials of Lenny Bruce: The Fall and Rise of An American Icon https://www.amazon.com/Trials-Lenny-Bruce-Fall-American/dp/1570719861 The History of Stand-Up: From Mark Twain to Dave Chappelle https://www.amazon.com/History-Stand-Up-Mark-Twain-Chappelle/dp/B08YRP1R2G Pulling punchlines: Comedy can be offensive. But should it be reined in? https://www.csmonitor.com/The-Culture/2021/1129/Pulling-punchlines-Comedy-can-be-offensive.-But-should-it-be-reined-in Lenny Bruce - "Religions Inc." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQacnto7wAM Lenny Bruce - Tits and Ass https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axEGY1zWe8g Lenny Bruce - How To Relax Your Colored Friends At Parties https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ua0TT87KNwo George Carlin - 7 dirty words (best part) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbZhpf3sQxQ Richard Pryor Just Us https://youtu.be/HVHaioBfWiE Ricky Gervais – Golden Globes 2020 (Uncensored, HD) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJOb9xHggS4 Andrew Dice Clay "Poems" https://youtu.be/aTKZRire8Wg Federal Communications Commission v. Pacifica Foundation, 438 US 726 (1978) https://www.oyez.org/cases/1977/77-528 Mahanoy Area School District v. B.L, 594 US _ (2021) https://www.oyez.org/cases/2020/20-255 –––– Support the podcast and join the Honest Offense community at https://honestoffense.locals.com Eric Cervone on Twitter: https://twitter.com/ericcervone Eric Cervone on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ericcervone https://www.ericcervone.com/
They Mayor Sean Casey seems to have violent spats with pork in sporting arenas, PFT Commenter is rooting for one more Pens-Caps playoff series with the star-studded lineups, Stan Savran notices the Rangers playoff inexperience shining through in Game 1, and Joe Bartnick returns for another Soft Dump. Plus, Sean Collier reviews Dr. Strange and another Netflix instillation - Along for the Ride.
Kevin Roy, Co-founder of GreenBananaSEO based in Beverly, Massachusetts Kevin Roy is the Co-founder of GreenBananaSEO, a full-stack digital ad agency, best known for search engine optimization but also providing paid media, Google AdWords, Facebook, and programmatic display services. Over the years the team has developed a number of internal systems to keep up with the work, including 24x7 online ordering system that funnels agency orders to his team and creates a workflow. Kevin says the agency always has more web development work than it can “keep up with” but over the past 15 years, it has always been a “loss leader.” The agency's motto is “Page 1 or you don't pay.” Kevin explains that the agency does not guarantee the agency's services will get a client on Page 1. It's about whether the client pays. Unless we get our clients on Page 1 for the keywords that they pick, they don't pay us. If we don't get them ranked, they don't pay us. If we get them ranked and lose their rankings, they don't pay us. We have to get them ranked and keep them ranked Part of the “secret sauce” of the agency's success is a comprehensive understanding of Google's webmaster tools and its ever-changing rules. Websites are optimized “based on a few very important factors.” The agency has an 80-step process, which is frequently updated to adapt to Google's policy changes. As a recent example of a new Google requirement, Kevin cites desktop viewability. The agency has integrated this requirement into the websites it manages and tested the sites to ensure they meet “all those metrics.” Kevin warns against using “tricks” to “game the system” to get a site ranked. He says, “Google is always going to be bigger and have more resources” and will eventually figure out the “game.” “That's not a position you want to put your client in,” he says. He believes it is more important to “just try to provide quality and relevance” and then adds, “It does take people a little longer to get ranked when you follow the rules, but it also is harder to lose your ranking when you do.” When Kevin decided to start his agency, he offered to build websites and run SEO for three successful businesspeople on two conditions: that they not tell anyone that he “did it for free” and that, if they were happy with his work, they would recommend him. The strategy worked. Today, the agency is 100% referral and “business just keeps coming in.” At the beginning of client engagement, GreenBananaSEO provides a free website audit and recommendations based on what it perceives to be a client's problem. Kevin says the agency is a “digital executioner” with an SEO division and a paid media division (focused on key performance indexes/conversions). He says the agency does “almost everything on a screen that's paid” including OTT (over-the-top) television, programmatic, geofencing, geotargeting, and addressable media. No billboards. No direct mail. “It's all paid media,” he explains, and the agency is “hired by people to make their messaging and their branding work.” Kevin can be reached on his personal page at: ijustmetkevin.com.or on his agency website at: greenbananaseo.com. Transcript Follows: ROB: Welcome to the Marketing Agency Leadership Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Kischuk, and my guest today is Kevin Roy, Co-founder of GreenBananaSEO based in Beverly, Massachusetts. Welcome to the podcast, Kevin. KEVIN: Hey, thanks for having me. ROB: Great to have you here. Why don't you start off by telling us about GreenBanana and what you specialize in? KEVIN: We don't sell bananas. GreenBananaSEO is a full-stack digital ad agency, and we're primarily known for our search engine optimization, but we also have a significant portion of our clients run paid media, Google AdWords, Facebook, programmatic display. One of the reasons that a lot of people know us for search engine optimization is our mottol, which is “Page 1 or you don't pay.” So unless we get our clients on Page 1 for the keywords that they pick, they don't pay us. If we don't get them ranked, they don't pay us. If we get them ranked and lose their rankings, they don't pay us. We have to get them ranked and keep them ranked. And the big secret is there's no secret. You just do what you're supposed to do. Google publishes their webmaster tools. They're not fun to read. [laughs] We read them and we optimize people's sites based on a few very important factors that I could always touch on later. But you don't try to game the system. You just try to provide quality and relevance, and you magically rank. ROB: How do you think about socializing that knowledge across your team? Some people who are there might have an intrinsic knowledge of what it takes, they've digested the notes on what Google likes, what Google doesn't like. But somebody new comes in or somebody's new to the industry – how do you think about putting them on the path of not looking for tricks and of doing the right thing? KEVIN: That's a great question. We have a process. We have an 80-step process and we teach our members to follow that process. But we also have a hierarchy of SEO director-level knowledge that are always going and looking for the latest changes that Google has published that they made and how we have to adapt our process to that. Something that just came out recently was desktop viewability. It's something that Google is amping people for if they don't have the right desktop viewability, so we have to make that part of it, go in and test that, make sure their site is hitting all those metrics and adapting the site to that. ROB: That makes sense. SEO has a long history, and it's been through – you're making reference to tips and tricks, and there were all these conversations about “secrets.” There were tools people would provide that would tell you these secrets. Did you always come at it from the non-secrets angle, or was that an evolution and there were some tricks that once were kind of helpful, but have really attenuated as Google has evolved its algorithm? KEVIN: The thing that's always stuck in the back of my mind is how massive Google is. There are tricks and things that you can do to game the system and try to get the site ranked, but Google is always going to be bigger and have more resources, and they are ultimately going to figure that out, and that's not a position you want to put your client in. I always say, it's not if you get caught, it's when you get caught. So if you decide that's the game you want to play, then buckle up. Maybe that's something you want to do, but that's not what we do. It does take people a little longer to get ranked when you follow the rules, but it also is harder to lose your ranking when you do. It's a lot more beneficial. And our clients are real businesses that are really trying to promote their work, and they can't afford to get caught for something we did. ROB: Page 1, that's a great target. Are there ever keywords I would want to target where you would look at me as a client and say, “You know, I get it, but that's a no. We can't guarantee that”? Is there a target that's too high? KEVIN: There are two parts to that answer. Number one, we don't guarantee ranking. We guarantee that if we can't get you there, you don't pay us. So when people call and say, “Hey, GreenBanana, we need to get on Page 1 in a month for these keyword phrases,” I'm like, “Great. We have an AdWords campaign for that. I can guarantee you'll get on Page 1 with a Google AdWords campaign because we're going to bid higher than your competitors for that.” But there are certain things Google takes into consideration, like domain authority, how long the site has been living, how much content is on the site, and that a lot plays into how successful we think we're going to be before we start the campaign. So if you started a brand new dating website today and said, “I want to get on Page 1 for dating,” I would say, “Okay, it's going to take us about 18 months to get you ranked. This is what it's going to cost when we do get you ranked. Sign this contract.” And you'll probably say, “I can't afford this.” [laughs] Because eHarmony and Match.com and Plenty of Fish and those people have teams and teams of SEO people. So yes, we can do it, but a lot of times if it's a super broad term that is hyper, hyper-competitive, like – everyone calls us for mesothelioma. SEOs have been working on that for 15 years, so we have 14½ years of catch-up to do. It's going to be expensive. ROB: That all makes sense. Where did this whole thing come from, Kevin? What made you decide to start GreenBanana? KEVIN: I used to be the web director for a company called eRoom Technology that ended up getting bought by EMC. It's a workspace collaboration, kind of like – I don't know if you use Basecamp or Teams. ROB: I know all the stuff. ClickUp and so many things now. KEVIN: Yeah, all those collaboration spaces. The company got bought out, and I had a team of people under me, and next thing you know I was doing about two hours' worth of work doing web edit updates and going to the gym for the rest of the time and realizing my job was not going to last long. When my boss got let go, I went off and decided to start my own company. I got a good severance package, and I went around and found three people in the area that were really good, that I thought were successful businesspeople, and I said, “I'm going to build you a website for free. I'm going to do your SEO. You're not going to tell anybody that I did it for free, and if you're happy with it, you can recommend me.” That's legitimately how the business started. ROB: Wow. KEVIN: Two of them worked out. One of them, that company either moved – I can't even remember what happened. But two of them recommended me, and that started the spiral. To this day, I spend my time – we don't have an outreach program. We don't even do our own SEO. If you look at our SEO, it could be a lot better. I know the audience can't see this, but the left-hand side of this sheet, there's 30 RFPs that I had to write last week, and we're 100% referral. We just try to help people. We'll do free audits for people and say, “This is what we think you should do. Your problem may not be able to be solved by SEO” – for example, if it's a product that no one's ever heard of before, SEO Is not what you want. It's going to be programmatic or social to get in front of people that might like your product. So we spend our days doing that, and miraculously, business just keeps coming in. It's been like that for 15 years. ROB: When you mention RFP, is that an expression of interest from a client who needs a proposal, or more of a formal RFP, competitive…? KEVIN: That's a good question. I don't write RFPs. Actually, I did. I wrote two and spent weeks doing them and no one ever called me back, so I don't write RFPs. [laughs] People calling us and asking for quotes, that's what I call RFPs. ROB: Understood. So, you're turning around a proposal, someone says, “What does this look like?”, you do a little bit of discovery, “I want to rank for this, I want to rank for that,” you turn it around and tell them, “This is what it looks like.” KEVIN: Yeah. We do an audit and then come and tell them, “Hey, is SEO the right thing for you? If it is, we'll help you pick some keyword phrases.” Then we send it to them, there's usually a little back and forth, and then we decide if we want to move forward or not. ROB: You just mentioned programmatic. I know earlier you mentioned not just SEO, but paid search, and then you mentioned social, which I didn't hear you mention earlier. Scope of services is always an interesting conversation. Where do you draw the line? Are you doing paid social? Do you do organic social? Where do you say yes, where do you say no? KEVIN: It's all paid media. We do almost everything on a screen that's paid, like OTT, which is connected to television, programmatic, geofencing, geotargeting, addressable. What we don't do is anything print. We don't do billboards. We don't do direct mail. People hire us because we're digital executioners. We don't even do – if someone calls and says, “I want the sexiest branding of anybody,” that's not what we do. We're hired by people to make their messaging and their branding work. We have an SEO division and we have a paid media division. The paid media team is solely focused on KPI or key performance indexes or conversions. When someone comes to work for GreenBanana as our paid media side, especially if they're from another agency, I tell them, if you're really, really good at this job, you can sell reporting for maybe two to three months. But you can sell conversions and leads forever. So everything that you're doing, you should absolutely figure out in the very beginning. We don't start a campaign until we figure out what the goal of the client is, and then you take the media that you're serving and drive it to that goal and try to maximize it. Sometimes social, like Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, will outperform Google AdWords, or programmatic will outperform Twitter. A lot of our clients will come to us with, “Hey, I want to spend $5,000 in social and $2,500 in AdWords,” and we find out after running a campaign for 30 to 60 days, “You know what? AdWords is getting you double the amount of leads for the budget. We recommend you switch and pull your money from social into that.” And they always say yes, because the client doesn't care who we're giving money to; they just care about the success of the company. So that's how we do that. Our account execs are really well-versed in every single medium, and they're medium agnostic. They don't care if budget gets pulled from one medium to another, even if it affects our margin at GreenBanana, because our job is to get the campaigns to be most successful. Those are the clients that increase budget, that stay with us forever. We have a plumber that has been with us for 13 of our 15 years, and they went from spending $750 a month to $40,000 a month over that long period of time because the campaigns that we're working on are producing results. ROB: Right. It's an engine for their business now and would be a fairly terrifying thing to switch out, I think. Also hard to get too different – even if they wanted to test out a competitive firm, it's a little hard because then you're bidding on some of the same stuff, I would think. KEVIN: Oh yeah, that's a great point. You can't run two Google campaigns because if you have two firms running two Google campaigns, Google's only going to show one, and the one that's showing is going to actually be more expensive than the one that isn't. You just outbid yourself. So if you're a company ever trying to pit one agency against the other, don't have them run the same medium. Don't have them both run Facebook or both run AdWords. It's a terrible idea. ROB: That sounds like a good way to spend $80,000 a month instead. KEVIN: It's a good way to blow a lot of money, yeah. ROB: You mentioned you had this initial flywheel in the firm, three test subjects and some referrals, and still growing and spinning it by referrals. What was the moment – your title is co-founder, so where else did this start, and when did it start to expand beyond the co-founder territory? KEVIN: It got to a point where I was – we do web development in-house. We never talk about it because we have more than we can keep up with, and for some reason, in 15 years it's never been profitable. It's always this loss leader. So I was doing a lot of web development, and I was outsourcing the stuff that I couldn't keep up with. The outsource company that was local called me and said, “We can't keep up with the demand that you're sending us. Here's a guy we recommend you send some of this stuff to.” His name is Mark, and he's my business partner now. He and I really hit it off, and I said, “Let's just get in this together because we have complementary skillsets.” So that was the co-founder piece. When it went beyond it, we didn't have any money when we started. We didn't have any private equity. No angel investors. We would save a little and then hire an employee, and save a little and hire an employee. If you look at the trajectory of GreenBanana, we've always grown, but it's been a slow, steady organic growth to where we are right now. There are companies that have surpassed us that haven't done that, and you could argue that's a great way to do it, just got a big influx of cash and hired a team. But we said, no, we're just going to keep reinvesting the money we make and build and grow and learn. As we grow, we build. We have internal systems that we've built because we have a lot of other agencies that are clients of ours. We built an online ordering system so at midnight, an agency can put in all the orders and have it funnel to my team and create a workflow. But that didn't happen overnight. It took us a year and a half to build it. ROB: Right. You mentioned this commitment to steady growth. It can be tempting to push the fast-forward button. How, over this time, have you resisted the temptation to – whether it's to take a buyout and take some growth there, whether it's to take in some money and boost some hires – how have you been thinking about that as you proceed and stuck to the path of building growth organically? KEVIN: That's a great question. In the beginning, no one was coming and asking us, “Here's a bunch of money to go do something.” So that was easy. We did have some periods that we got a lot more customers than we could handle and we made mistakes. So that also made us nervous, and making sure that if someone just handed us a blank check, we probably wouldn't know what to do with it. If the opportunity came where someone said, “Here's a bunch of money and here's the 10 agencies that we've grown exactly like yours,” that would be a lot more attractive. Now that we're at the revenue that we're at, we're actually getting people that are asking us for that. But we haven't gotten anything attractive enough to have us say, “We'll give up half the business for that.” That's actually the answer. The answer is nothing's been attractive enough. ROB: That seems to be the case in services in general. I hear, at least, quite often that you're measuring the value of the business based on EBITDA, based on your actual earnings, and maybe you can back out some expenses that have been loaded onto the business, that kind of thing. But really, if you're healthy on EBITDA, then the business needs some cash to grow and some cash to distribute, and what's the hurry on the sale? The terms aren't usually enough to make you say, “I couldn't make that much profit in three years.” KEVIN: Right. Exactly. That seems to be what's happening. Also, I don't think digital's going away. I do think that certain mediums may come and go, but we're medium agnostic, so if Facebook blows up next month, it's going to stink, but we can shuffle. ROB: As you reflect on this journey so far – I guess you're about 12 to 13 years in – what are some things you've learned on this journey that you wish you could go back and tell yourself to do differently? It sounds like you wouldn't tell yourself to go take a check and get bought out, but I imagine there are some things you would consider doing differently along the way. KEVIN: I think a lot of it is psychological for me. If I could go back and say to 12 or 13 years ago Kevin, I'd say part of being an entrepreneur is there's a lot of times where you're taking three steps forward and two steps back. But the two steps back are never that bad. I've spent countless sleepless nights thinking of the worst thing that could possibly happen, and it's never happened. Not even kind of happened. It's legitimately never happened. So, if I could go back, I'd say stop worrying about that and focus on all the positive things because that thing's never going to happen. And if it repeatedly hasn't happened in 13 years, it's not a coincidence. So I think that's something I wish I knew a long time ago. But it's also something that I continue to wrestle with because it's kind of burned in the back of your brain. ROB: Absolutely. I needed that reminder from some other entrepreneurs yesterday. You have that moment, you have that day, where something small bad does happen. We had a job offer out that I was really excited about, and the last eight offers we put out were all accepted, and this person said no. I was like, oh man, that was not the answer I wanted. But same thing – you lose a client, but along the way, you've planted those seeds so that six months from now, you're going to say, “That was a speedbump. That was not the end of the world.” We grew from there. A lot of folks said their experience has been they hired somebody better right after they got a no. It's that long perspective, and I think planting the seeds and knowing you've done the work along the way. KEVIN: Right. There's a great quote – I don't even know who said it, but you don't find a way to go around the problem; you find a way to go through it. It seems to work out. We had an employee that stole almost a quarter of our business, left with that, and we made it back in a year. It's honestly the best thing that's ever happened. So things like that, at the time, horrible. And then I wouldn't change a thing now. ROB: [laughs] You might give them 50 cents to go do it. KEVIN: Seriously, yeah. ROB: They took maybe some customers that were more challenging to manage or maybe more loyal to a person than to the process. There's a lot to think about there. KEVIN: Yeah, and it makes you sit and evaluate and say, “What things do I have to do and what do I need and what are the things that are necessary?”, and you end up becoming better. That's what entrepreneurs do. People that aren't entrepreneurs don't understand it because those people are the ones that won't take that risk and say, “I've got to go. I can't do this. I can't handle this stress.” The entrepreneurs say, “I've got to figure out how to deal with it, because this is it.” ROB: Right. Kevin, as you look ahead to GreenBanana, the future of GreenBanana and the practice areas you're in – you mentioned maybe some channels go away, maybe there are some ways you're thinking about shifting the practice – what does the future look like? What are you excited about? KEVIN: I'm excited about – technology is increasing. Whether you find this good or bad, creepy or not, the amount of data you have on client behavior is only getting better and enabling us to be more accurate in helping our clients hit their conversions. So that evolution is really exciting. With the products that we have, like Google launching GA4 – they already launched it, but GA4 is better than Universal Analytics in how you can see data. Those things inside the products are great, and there's also all these other new products that are really exciting. I'm personally really excited about decentralized finance and crypto. We're trying to figure out a way to accept crypto payments. It's a pain in the butt to figure it out, but little things like that are fun for me, and I think as long as you're excited about learning about new tech, there's always going to be a business for a digital agency. ROB: That's interesting on the accepting crypto side. Even for existing financial applications – we had a client who wanted to pay us their discovery budget on I think Venmo, and getting a business account up and running on these services from a KYC perspective, instead of a personal account – half the time it's like they never even thought about it. There's a lot ahead of us on that front, I think. KEVIN: Yeah. That's the part we're having trouble with. If you want to send me crypto to my crypto personal wallet, it's easy. We can do it literally right now. But getting it into the business, getting it into QuickBooks, getting it to my accountants – I was like, whatever. Future Kevin will work on that. [laughs] ROB: Is there any particular business that you're seeing, some type of business that is perhaps most open to paying in crypto? What's that look like? KEVIN: None of the current businesses we're working with – I won't say none of them, but most of them wouldn't consider it. It's just something I'm personally interested in and I think it's going to happen. ROB: Absolutely. A lot of these things took some time, and then it's daily happenings. Pulling a little deeper into the topic, what are you seeing in defi and crypto? What direction excites you the most? Sometimes we're placing bets; sometimes we're just thinking about placing emotional bets with where we place our attention. What's drawing you as the most tangible next few things that are going to happen? KEVIN: I'm invested in crypto. The things that have done the best for me are Bitcoin and Ethereum. I do read some other defi newsletters, but full disclosure, none of them have done great. But I haven't really gone crazy into it. I spend most of my time on my company rather than researching that. I think the ease of transaction and the transparency of the transaction is so important, and I think that is what is going to – once people start to get more comfortable with decentralized finance, the ability to send money back and forth where there's a trackable ledger of it, I think that is really going to change business. I mean, for us to get a check from someone, for us to send money back and forth, for us to do an ETH transaction, it's our billing department on a phone call with someone, it's back and forth, it's waiting for 24 hours. Wallet to wallet is a QR code and a button, and it's there, and the ledger's there. I really think that's going to start to change the world if people can let go of the fact that they're not comfortable with it. ROB: There's a lot there and there's a lot to learn from all at the same time. Some of this stuff is kind of hard, some of the fees are kind of high, but you also see – I was just out at South by Southwest in Austin, and one of the most visible activations there was for an NFT collection called Doodles. They'd let you in the activation with your SXSW badge, but they'd let you in the VIP line if you could prove that you were a holder of a Doodles NFT. Which is about 12 ETH, so it's… KEVIN: Yeah, that's a lot of money. ROB: Absolutely. Looking at that, someone was like, “Could you just buy it and sell it?” I said, it depends on whether the thing's been pumped by the conference. If it's pumped by the conference, you're going to lose 2 ETH just because you bought it at a spiky time. That's bad news. KEVIN: I still have a hard time wrapping my head around the value of an NFT because it's a picture on a screen that everybody can take. I know you pay and it's yours, but you and I could take screenshots of each other right now. It's hard to tell who owns it. ROB: In this case they actually were validating ownership against the blockchain. To get in, they were actually authenticating the ownership. But definitely hard right now. KEVIN: Exactly. It's a currency that's validated, but it's like, what's the value of having that picture other than getting an entrance? I understand that piece of it, but sticking it on your computer and saying “I own this,” like the picture behind me – it's not really worth anything. I'm still trying to wrap my head around NFTs, and that's my fault because I know that they're really taking off. ROB: There's a lot to go there. Even in the judgment of art. I can buy art at IKEA or I can buy art at Sotheby's, and those are two very different things. But I can buy art at IKEA that probably looks like something I could buy at Sotheby's. The value there is subjective, and where it lands, who knows? KEVIN: Yeah, exactly. I heard this really interesting podcast about a guy that was spending – he's a wine collector, and some of those bottles of wine are hundreds of thousands of dollars, and he said, “I drank one and it really wasn't that good.” [laughs] “You can get a comparable wine for $28.” ROB: Absolutely, or $3 at Trader Joe's, right? KEVIN: It's like, is that $400,000 better than the $3 one? [laughs] Or is it 15 times better? ROB: Kevin, when people want to find and connect with you and with GreenBanana, where should they go to find you? KEVIN: I used to lose my business card all the time, so I bought ijustmetkevin.com. ROB: Nice. KEVIN: That'll take you to my page. Or you can just go to greenbananaseo.com ROB: That is excellent. Kevin, thank you for coming on the podcast. Thank you for sharing your experience, your knowledge, things you've learned. I think we're all better for it. Thank you very much. KEVIN: I appreciate your time. This was wonderful. Thank you. ROB: Best wishes to you and the team. Take care. KEVIN: Thanks. Take care. ROB: Thank you for listening. The Marketing Agency Leadership Podcast is presented by Converge. Converge helps digital marketing agencies and brands automate their reporting so they can be more profitable, accurate, and responsive. To learn more about how Converge can automate your marketing reporting, email firstname.lastname@example.org, or visit us on the web at convergehq.com.
Outlawed Live Truck and Tractor Pulling Discussion with Kelsie Davidson and Tyler Paddock Tuesday, May 3rd --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/beer-money-pulling-team/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/beer-money-pulling-team/support
Today I have on the podcast author Anjuli Paschall and she teaches us how to stay awake to what really matters. Many times, we are looking for the next big thing before we feel successful, happy, fulfilled. Anjuli reminds us to stay awake to small moments that mean everything, and to not miss what's right in front of us. She gives us practical ways we can do this daily. Grab Anjuli's book Get to know Anjuli
Sean and Dane are back! Another ACL National is upon us as we ready for the Bag Brawl event! Shaun Latham (20 Dollar Chef) and Brendan Ahern (Dogcast and Pulling the Cork) join the show for an ACL fantasy episode!! BIG ASP Cornhole Patreon page: 3 Tiers to choose from!! Come join our growing community and get insider info, become an active participant in show content, be eligible for bag giveaways and more!!!https://www.patreon.com/bigaspcornholehttps://www.localbagcompany.com/-Throw like a pro….Throw Localhttps://www.cornholesolutions.com/-For all your cornhole board problems-Code: BigAsp saves you 10%https://blackjackcornhole.com/Code: BigAsp saves you 10%https://airwolfathletics.com/Code: BigAsp saves you 10%https://www.harddragpush.com/Your one stop shop for all your cornhole content needs!!
In this bonus episode, Kimberly answers your deepest career and leadership questions! Pulling commonly received questions from the audience, tune in as Kimberly shares her secret to a great interview, tips for negotiating a premium salary, a guide for stepping into a leadership role, and much more! KEY POINTS: - How do we know when it's time to leave a stagnant role? - How do you get your company to pay for you to attend conferences and certifications? - How do I make sure that I negotiate a higher salary? - What's the secret to acing interviews? - How do I know when it's time to position myself as a leader in my current role? QUOTABLES: “Salary negotiation - one of my favorite things to talk about, and the first thing that I say is that salary negotiation starts the moment you interact with the company. It's not about getting such a terrible offer and negotiating 20, 30, 40, 50 thousand dollars on top of it. It's about getting a great offer and negotiating the cherry on top.” Have career and leadership development questions? Email Kimberly at email@example.com Learn more about Kimberly Brown and download a free career strategy template at kimberlybonline.com Read the book “Next Move, Best Move: Transitioning Into a Career You'll Love” at nextmovebestmovebook.com Follow Kimberly on social media: IG | @kimberlybonline - instagram.com/kimberlybonline FB | facebook.com/kimberlybonline Twitter | twitter.com/kimberlybonline LinkedIn | linkedin.com/in/kimberlybonline Your Next Move is edited by Instapodcasts (visit at instapodcasts.com)
A Teach Show not just a talk show Pulling no punches Liberty First NonCompliantM ovie.com LibertyFirstSociety.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/the-krisanne-hall-show/support
In today's Shopify eCommerce podcast, I have two guests, Paul Rogers and Josh Duggan of Vervaunt.Paul is the managing director of Vervaunt and he is joined by his business partner Josh.Vervaunt is an award-winning paid media agency and eCommerce consultancy that work with a number of leading Shopify brands to help them grow and scale.LEARN MORE and grow your Shopify store at eCommerceFastlane.com and eCommerceFastlanePodcast.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
I am sure you heard the saying, "when you look good, you feel good." Even though it may be cliche, it is true. But how can you feel confident when you look frumpy?If you are feeling stuck in a rut with the same t-shirt and yoga pants, this is for you. My guest Alela shares how you can begin to piece together looks that work with your unique style or taste. In this episode you will find out:some quick and easy steps that you can take if you feel like you're stuck in a rut.why it's so important to make time to pick out your clothes as a momhow you can begin to get out of that struggle bus of feeling like you don't know how to pick out clothes that are put togetherIf you are ready to look AND feel put together listen to this episode to learn how. ABOUT ALELAAlela Sirah is a Los Angeles-based personal stylist who specializes in helping women over 30 after milestone events like pregnancy, career advancements, and major life transitions build an authentic wardrobe that's easy to maintain. She shows her clients how to utilize trends as guides rather than style bandaids. In order to bridge the gap between style aesthetics, lifestyle needs, and body shape. CONNECT WITH ALELAWebsite: www.alelasirah.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alelasirah/Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/alelasirah/Challenge: https://www.subscribepage.com/fly-mom-challengeAlela offers complimentary style consultations for anyone interested in exploring further. https://alelasirahstylinganddesign.hbportal.co/schedule/604b13844af5b35c990aae6dSHOW NOTES FOR THIS EPISODE: https://www.realhappymom.com/177REAL HAPPY MOM INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/realhappymomREAL HAPPY MOM COMMUNITY: https://www.realhappymom.com/communityREAL HAPPY MOM MERCH: https://www.realhappymom.com/merchSupport the show (https://ko-fi.com/realhappymom)
Every marriage experiences stress. It can come from work, family, friends, and even finances. Couples may suffer from stress over a conflict or a difficult period in their marriage- arguments, differences, or feeling neglected. While we already know how stress affects us mentally and physically, Stress can negatively impact relationships.Although stress is part of the human experience, it can be harmful for relationships. What happens to many of us is that we bottle it up or keep the stress to ourselves, which makes it difficult for our partners to understand what we are going through and to provide support. Pulling into yourself and trying to manage it alone erects a barrier to emotional intimacyBeing stressed and taking it out on a partner, is another way it can negatively impact the relationship. You know when you are totally stressed out and your spouse says something that just hits a nerve that isn't always so raw? And it can be such an innocuous thing. I know that when I feel really stressed and my husband comes to me with what I think is just not as important as the stressful thing in my life, I can be downright snippy. It isn't about your partner, but about you. You are reacting out of a stressed place. Not dealing with stress can impact relationships when couples “catch” each other's stress. When our partners are stressed, we become stressed. Stress can breed stress in a marriage. We feed on one another's stress. Think back to an argument that escalated quickly. You might have “caught” one another's stress during the argument, which made you both feel even more frazzled and made you say things you wouldn't have otherwise said. Couples get stuck in this negative cycle and may be too stressed to deal with the underlying issue(s).So, how do you keep your stress from putting an unnecessary burden on your marriage? Stress inside and outside of the marriage must be effectively managed with a few simple coping strategies. In this episode, I'll share with you 6 ways. You can find the complete transcript athttp://reviveyourmidlfemarriage.com/89
Is there a connection between former President Donald J. Trump's pressure campaign on Ukraine, the Russian invasion and the events of Jan. 6, 2021?The journalist Robert Draper talked to Fiona Hill, John Bolton and other former Trump advisers to gauge the extent to which the ex-president's actions had a ripple effect.This story was written by Robert Draper and recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publications like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.