Podcasts – Caught in the Cogs

Episode 48: Courage, Integrity, and After-Care Respect (Podcast). **Trigger Warnings** This podcast discusses sexual assault and rape. Many people just don’t know how to respond when someone comes out and says they’ve been assaulted. They fall into what culture has shown us, unfortunately for the victim, that culture is a rape culture. Learn how to […]

Episode 47: Responsible Community Response (Podcast). **Trigger Warnings** This podcast discusses sexual assault and rape. Many people just don’t know how to respond when someone comes out and says they’ve been assaulted. They fall into what culture has shown us, unfortunately for the victim, that culture is a rape culture. Learn how to appropriately and […]

Episode 46: The Power of Responsibility (Podcast). **Trigger Warnings** This podcast discusses sexual assault and rape. To take responsibility for one’s own actions, to be able to say “I fucked up, and I’m sorry,” is very healing and compassionate. It speaks to a loving person with great self-awareness and courage to do so, and the […]

Episode 45: A Fate Worse Than Death… (Podcast). **Trigger Warnings** This podcast discusses sexual assault and rape. It is often described as a “fate worse than death,” and, it is. In many ways. This podcast mostly focuses on what is known as “the rape culture,” what that means, and how very prevalent it is. Thank […]

Episode 44: Exposing Predditors (Podcast). **Trigger Warnings** This podcast discusses sexual assault and rape. Exposing perverts like Violentacrez (aka Michael Brutsch) and other Reddit users to post to such subreddits like CreepShots, RapingWomen, and Jailbait. Name and shame, that’s the only way to effectively deal with predators and rapists until the laws catch up and […]

Episode 43: Positively Sex-Positive (Podcast). **Trigger Warnings** This podcast discusses sexual assault & rape. Sex-Positive is a trendy term meaning, again, different things to different people, but it mostly means that sex isn’t something to be ashamed of or feel guilty about. It’s about enjoying sex. Seeing it as a beautiful, natural expression of love […]

Episode 42: Poly vs. Amory (Podcast). **Trigger Warnings** This podcast discusses sexual assault and rape. Welcome back, once again, to the Polyamory Podcast. It has been several months since I recorded a podcast, but I’m very happy to be back. This installment talks about the word “polyamory” and how it is being used and misused, […]

Episode 41: Building a Romantic Relationship (Podcast). The best advice I can give you is the same advice I’ve been given again and again, and have promptly ignored because I was swept up in passion. Take your time. Protect yourself. Open your heart to love, but keep your eyes open as well. Building a Romantic […]

Episode 40: The Joy of Sex (Podcast). Welcome back to the Poly Podcast! This week! The Joy of Sex, and what a joy it can be. Remember, it’s a gift you give yourself and your lover. It’s sacred. It’s beautiful. It can be utterly profound. Treat it as such. Never use sex to punish or […]

Episode 39: Gaslighting (Podcast). One of the most insidious forms of emotional abuse… Named after the film Gaslight, it subtly and slowly makes the target question his/her reality, deferring to the abuser. After weeks, months, or years of this, the target no longer knows what’s real and has completely lost their sense of self, but the […]

Episode 38: Jealousy vs. Compersion (Podcast). Compersion is a word coined for the polyamorous lifestyle meaning to find happiness when your partner is happy or experiencing joy rather than feeling jealous about it. It is indeed a choice. Jealousy does not just go away on its own, as it was taught to us in society, […]

Episode 37: Insidious Lies (Podcast). The most insidious lies are the ones we want to hear…or sometimes the ones we tell ourselves. Learn some of the lies predators tell to get your trust, and please learn to recognize the signs early and protect yourself from heartbreak and betrayal. Insidious Lies (Podcast) Original Blog Post He’s […]

Episode 36: Lucky, Lucky Poly People (Podcast). Luck has nothing to do with it. So many people look at those in open or non-monogamous relationships and think we are so lucky to have fallen into such a fulfilling lifestyle! Sex! Lots of hot sex! Or so they think. Let’s address these misconceptions, shall we? Lucky, […]

Episode 35: Yes Means Yes (Podcast). Enthusiastic Consent. Wait for it. There is nothing sexier than your partner meeting you enthusiastically as you proceed through the sexual dance. If they’re not enthusiastic, STOP. Slow down. Check in. Something. Sex is a gift you give to each other. It is not something you take for yourself. […]

Episode 34: Emotional & Sexual Predators (Podcast). Please, please, please check out this list of warning signs to see if you’ve encountered an emotional or sexual predator. They usually seem charming and sweet, especially at first, so protect your heart against these parasites. All too often, they themselves have no idea they are predators, so […]

Episode 33: Emotional Vampires (Podcast). Emotional Vampires are sometimes hard to spot, but we discuss some warning signs that you  might have encountered an emotional vampire. If you’re in an intimate relationship with one, it can be extremely exhausting and damaging. Beware. Emotional Vampires (Podcast) Original Blog Post

Episode 32: Please Release Me (Podcast). Sexual release through masturbation, starting with treatment for “Hysteria” in the Victorian Era. From misogyny to sexual freedom among women… Also, I’ll answer a reader’s concern on the podcast. Please call in with your relationship issue to 512.943.2271 to record your question or write to me with your concerns. […]

Episode 31: Everybody Lies (Podcast). Everybody lies…or do they? Unfortunately, too many people lie or deceive out of fear or laziness. Sometimes just because they have no integrity. If you’re a good, honest person, approach new relationships with a healthy dose of skepticism, but don’t let them turn you into a liar. Keep honest and […]

Episode 30: Human Touch (Podcast). The touch of another human being can be a powerful source of healing, not only for what’s going on inside your own heart and mind, but for your relationship as a whole. The gesture of a loving touch given freely and frequently throughout your days can transform your relationship from […]

Episode 29: Sharing Your Lifestyle (Podcast). If your sexual preference or lifestyle is “controversial” by society’s terms, you might find yourself questioning whether or not to share it with your family and friends. For those who are GLBT, the answer is increasingly yes, and I couldn’t be more pleased. Society is *slowly* moving past tolerance […]

Episode 28: Those Three Little Words (Podcast). Love. Such a simple word, but too many people avoid it like other four-letter-words. Although a simple word, it certainly does not convey a simple concept. Love is very complex sometimes, although it’s apparant complexity is really just a delusion. Nothing is more natural or beautiful than love, […]

Episode 27: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (Podcast). One thing that has long baffled me is the answer to the question: “Why do good people cheat?” Maslow’s Hierarchy answered that for me, at least to begin to understand why, and it has to do with physiological needs trumping any sense of morality. Still, as I’ve said […]

Episode 26: Long Distance Love. Don’t listen to nay-sayers who tell you that long distance relationships don’t work. They do if you want them to. Like any relationship, it’s a lot of work and communication, perhaps moreso because of the geographical distance, but they are far from impossible. Remember, don’t let society define your relationship […]

Episode 25: Choices After Indiscretion. You cheated. Now what? Your choices before an indiscretion are infinitely better than afterward, but you do still have choices if you’ve cheated on your partner, just not good ones. Find out what your options are now that you’ve deceived your spouse or SO, and most importantly, don’t betray them […]

Episode 24: Fear of Abandonment Can Lead to Infidelity. We all fear abandonment, some of us fear it more deeply than others, but the thought of being alone can be very scary. And that fear can cause us to clam up, keep things inside because we’re too scared of what will happen if we talk […]

Episode 23: Protecting Your Heart. Falling in love is intoxicating. There is no doubt. Our brains are full of those euphoric love chemicals and we feel full of life. And by all means, do fall in love, but just protect your heart for a few weeks at the very least, if not for a couple […]

Episode 22: Ending a Relationship with Love & Respect Break ups are hard. They’re painful. They can be absolutely devastating and crippling, but they don’t have to be. There will be pain no matter what, as you are separating your lives and redefining yourselves as no longer a couple, but that pain can be minimized […]

Episode 21: When Your SO Says No to Polyamory. Opening your marriage or LT relationship takes a lot of time, care, and effort. It’s not going to happen overnight. It’s probably not even going to happen in a few weeks or months. It may take years. The timeline all depends on how open and honest […]

Episode 20: Opening Up to Intimacy. Intimacy is terrifying for many people, but it is essential for healthy, happy relationships. Building intimacy takes courage, not only the courage to open yourself up to another person, but the courage to trust another person as well, especially if you’ve been badly burned in the past. Open up […]

Episode 19: Chains of Victimization. If you have been a victim of abuse or suffered through an abusive relationship, it is important to acknowledge the abuse, whether it neglect, verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual, was not your fault. It was not your shame. But, now that it’s over, it is your responsibility to regain your […]

Episode 18: Breaking the Betrayal Bond. Sometimes called Stockholm Syndrome, a betrayal bond is an inexplicable bond one makes with his/her abuser. Until that bond is recognized and broken, the victim of abuse cannot heal or move forward. Often times, we see the periods between abuse as kindness, and we start to empathize with our […]

Episode 17: For Better or For Worse. As in the traditional marriage vows, we promise to stay together for better or for worse. And yes, in rough times like through financial difficulty or illness, we must honor our commitment to each other and work through it, but what if the “worse” is losing love and […]

Episode 16: You Don’t Turn Me On. In every relationship, as time progresses and the real world settles in, sexual and passion often fall to the side. Instead of looking elsewhere for that euphoric fix, try reconnecting with your spouse/SO first, opening communication, and talking about your options together. You Don’t Turn Me On (Podcast) […]

Episode 15: Breakup > Suffering Abuse. Although breakups can be extremely painful and difficult, sometimes takes months or years to get over, it is always better than staying in an abusive or unhealthy relationship. Breakup > Suffering Abuse (Podcast) Original Blog Post

Episode 14: Sex as a Gift. Too many people in our society devalue sex, and it’s unfortunate because, ultimately, sex is a beautiful gift. Get a woman’s perspective as to why. Sex as a Gift (Podcast) Original Blog Post

Episode 13: The Strength of Inara. An exploration of the Firefly character Inara Serra and her inherent strength in the face of impossible love. The Strength of Inara (Podcast) Original Blog Post

Episode 12: Rebuilding Your Sense of Self. It is very important, as you work through the stage of grief after a failed (and especially an abusive) relationship to rebuild your self-esteem, even though we may feel shattered at the loss of a love or a betrayal. Rebuilding Your Sense of Self (Podcast) Original Blog Post

Episode 11: Love at First Sight. Do you believe in Love at First Sight? Love at First Sight (Podcast) Original Blog Post

Episode 10: Pathological Passion. The root word for passion is the greek pathos, meaning “to suffer.” Same as the root word for pathological. I talk a bit about how passion might cloud our judgement and how to tell if someone is really into you or if they’re likely lying. Pathological Passion (Podcast) Original Blog Post

Episode 9: Ethical Responsibility. If we know about a deception that could destroy a marriage or relationship, do we have an ethical responsibility to tell the wronged party? Would you want to be told? What if you found out your best friend knew and said nothing? In this podcast, I explore the ethical questions surrounding […]

Episode 8: Rewarding Misogyny. We live in a highly misogynistic culture, and we might be perpetuating misogyny by just keeping quiet when we hear misogynistic comments. Or, worse, we find humor in it, as people have done with Charlie Sheen. Let’s learn to recognize misogyny in social situations as well as in personal relationships…and stamp […]

Episode 7: The Morality of Love and Sex. How does a polyamorous lifestyle fit into the dogmatic morality of some religions? The Morality of Love and Sex (Podcast) Original Blog Post

Episode 6: Suicidal Tendencies. Suicidal tendencies and mental illness are grossly misunderstood in our society, and they carry a nasty stigma as well. Any mental illness, whether relatively mild or severe, is a physical problem first. Through education, we can begin to understand the nature of these disorders and counteract them before they become too much […]

Episode 5: Healing Yourself. Before you can take care of anyone else, you must first take care of yourself. This podcast talks a little about mental and emotional disorders like depression and anxiety, which so very many people suffer from, and how to not only support yourself but also to support your spouse/SO through the […]

Episode 4: Healing Your Relationship. Before you can even think too seriously about talking to your spouse or SO about something as serious as polyamory or other types of non-monagamy, you must first be in a very healthy, honest, and intimate place in your relationship. This podcast gives you some tips on how to start […]

Episode Three: Talking to Your SO About Polyamory. In this episode I cover how to start a conversation about polyamory with your spouse or SO, and sometimes more importantly, how not to start that conversation. Talking to Your SO About Polyamory Original blog post here.

35 second podcast promo for “Caught in the Cogs: Blood. Sex. Steampunk” for use on other podcasts. Please use it at will! Podcast Promo [audio http://www.thebluemoosepress.com/podcasts/OMG_Promo.mp3]

Episode Two speaks to some common myths about polyamory. Dispelling 5 Myths of Polyamory Original blog post here.

The following is the first of a podcast series named after this blog: Caught in the Cogs. I’ll be talking about alternative lifestyles like polyamory and other forms of non-monagamy, relationships, heartbreak, passion, sex, and love. These will start with blog posts and continue with further commentary on the subject at hand. As this is […]