Round Trip with Wendy McGean

My biggest win from the last 12 weeks is definitely found in the fact that I feel more present and more intentional as I move through my days. I catch myself about to say yes to something that I don't want to do. And find myself saying no as a reflex only to reconsider upon reflection. And I find myself a little sad about things that I cannot fit in that I really want to. I cannot do everything and I am choosing to make those choices with my heart and not my head. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

Both The Artist's Way and It's Never Too Late to Begin Again conclude Week 12 with the topic of Faith.   As a coach, I believe that all people are complete and whole and capable of acting on their own behalf. That we all know, on some level, what to do and what choices to make. And, at some point during the last 11 weeks, it has been reaffirmed that things just seem to work out – I now have tremendous faith in that. Joseph Campbell is quoted as having said “Follow your bliss and doors will open where there were no doors before.” Sounds like synchronicity to me. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

I am very excited about this week's topics – Adventure and Autonomy - and just finishing a long overdue adventure – 5 days off to visit friends. Julia Cameron often speaks of synchronicity in her pages. This trip was planned months ago and how interesting is it that it coincides with this week's topics. Both speak to breaking day to day habits and getting out of our comfort zones. When we seek to discover what we don't know we don't know – well – that's where creativity lives!  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

Self-protection is an interesting topic and, for me, it relates back to last week's topic of motion. I have frequently kept myself busy to avoid doing something – I fall squarely in the workaholic camp or least I did in my past life.   And vitality – wow. I can only say that the way that I live my life now means that I have more energy for the things that I love than I have it 20 years. It amazing how living in alignment with my own core values has freed my to just be. And that contentment is not at all exhausting. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

Week 9 – we're ¾ of the way through this program. I started a new notebook which shows how much I have written to date and the plan is to spend the week thinking about motion and compassion in my own life. What projects and activities need me to take specific actions? And then, showing myself some Love over not doing any of that up until now. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

With joy we are open to new experiences and new possibilities. And really – if happiness is not one of our goals – what on earth are we doing? If there is no joy in your day, perhaps it's time to look for it – seek out ways to bring it to the surface. We can find whatever we are open to discovering.   The strength that she speaks of is really the effort required to begin creating after, often years after, you've been told that you cannot write or paint or sing or whatever.  It is strength to ignore the inner critic and the often noisier external ones. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

At issue with connection is the right attitude to create. For me it's about mindset. The topic is framed differently this time as I read about Perfectionism (basically a refusal to let myself move ahead) and Jealousy (which is typically a mask for fear). According to the American Psychological Association it “resilience the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands   --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

Often, when we approach some new challenge or goal, we consider, and are sometimes sabotaged by, thoughts of “I'm too old”, “I don't have enough time”, “I don't have the skills”, I don't have the capital… inventing any number of obstacles that prove that we are simply not enough or do not have enough.  Humility - This for me is the courage to suck at something new! Seriously – I have been motivated to try so many new things over the last 5 years.  Previously I spent my life thinking that I needed to bring answers and not admit when I did not know something. I was so closed off from the spontaneity and joy of life that I did not know how to recognize it.    --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

This week's topics are Honesty and Possibility. Getting honest is not always easy. For me, the world is full of possibility. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

Finding your purpose can take a little time. Consider what you love and what is important to you. Imagine your best possible self and think about that you are grateful for. I think that core values exercises are a great place to start. Integrity, for me, is living in alignment with my core values.  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

Connection was the week 3 topic in “It's Never Too Late to Begin Again”. There are so many good memories from the thing that I've done in my life so far and, even with all of that, I had a period of time in my life where I had lost my connection to myself.  Disconnection is common as we often live our lives on auto-pilot. Self-awareness is a great first step to reverse the slide. From the Artist's Way – the focus was on Power. Our own personal power. I like to define that as our ability to act on our own behalf. It's an attitude or a state of mind – just like connection. And we all can make the choice to cultivate that personal power on our own. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

“Trusting our creativity is a new behaviour for many of us” says Julia Cameron as Week 2 kicks off in the artist's way. For me, I had let any intentional form of creativity lapse for years. I have a good supply of canvases and wood, brushes and paints and I can always use more. I learned to paint in my 20s and picked up the brushes sporadically over the years. The urge to paint and then the practice lay dormant for more than a decade. There was always something else to do.  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

The topic this week in It's Never Too Late to Begin Again is “Re-igniting a Sense of Wonder”  Socrates said that Wonder is the Beginning of Wisdom. If you are following along with the Artist's Way book, your theme is “Recovering a Sense of Safety”. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

I will begin working through the Artist's Way program this week. My goal is to work through the program and offer a chronicle to my listeners about what I am uncovering about myself through this exercise. And for fun, I'm inviting you to work alongside me if you like. I will hold space through a 30-minute Zoom call once per week starting Monday, January 8th at 7pm Eastern. The purpose of this call is not for you to come and discuss what you have written or created, although you are welcomed to, but rather as an opportunity for accountability both for myself and you. Life gets busy and it's not always possible to complete everything that we wanted in a given week. You can join me even if it's to say – that was tough – I only did one day of morning pages this week and the wheels came off!   --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

We live in a world where we have a tendency to reduce people down to the lowest common denominator –we glean something about a person and then we make assumptions about the whole person.  It's how our brains work - we categorize and file away that person “a” is like this and person “b” is that. Think political affiliations, career choices, wealth or poverty or almost any attribute. I was listening to a reel on Instagram the other day and a psychologist– I forget who - was talking about identity. She noted how this summarizing and categorizing is really a narrowing of identity – we stick people in figurative Rubbermade boxes so that we can remember how to respond to them or understand or judge them.  But can a person really be defined by a few attributes? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

As I navigate changes in my own life, I get curious about when big feelings overwhelm me. This weekend, I was walking my 15-month chocolate lab with my husband. The dog, still really a high energy puppy is a handful.  I've gone through one round of training with him and there is still much work to be done.  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

Last week, I spoke of the need to have a couple of crucial conversations of my own. There is one in particular that is long overdue with a family member.  I have vacillated between clearing the air and being irritated by the fact that I cannot think of any specific crime that I could have committed to have this person basically ignore me. I went from complete heartbreak and confusion to anger and indifference. None of those things have made the situation any better. The needle has not moved. So where to begin?  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

I'm re-reading a book called “Crucial Conversations”. It's co-written by a group of 5. The basic idea is that a conversation can be dubbed crucial when 3 things are present: 1) there is a difference of opinion, 2) the stakes are high and 3) emotions are high. The real reason that they are crucial is that they can have a significant impact on our relationships or results. I'm quite sure that all of us can think of any number of such conversations in our own lives. Think beginning or ending relationships, addressing offensive comments or prejudice, or feeling as if we are not heard in a relationship - personal or business.  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

I once saw a thought provoking definition of fear as an acronym False Evidence Appearing Real. Now if you're on a hike and it's bear - fear is an appropriate catalyst to do something. How often however do we fear some event or outcome that never manifests? And what does that fear do to us? In my experience, it shuts me down, I contract and become a little less than I was. Fear is a powerful motivator and perhaps a more powerful deterrent. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

A is for Act. I spent a life time wondering if I should do the thing, how should I do the thing, why should I do the thing instead of just doing the damn thing – whatever the thing is! Which is probably why I occasionally simply jump in with both feet without considering much of anything. In those moments, I've been called impulsive and I think that it was meant as a word of caution. But you know, we can only ruminate for so long. Life is meant to be lived and I now prefer to colour outside the lines. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

One of the things that took me years to truly understand was that it is impossible to “love” myself when I am externally referencing. You know, when we compare ourselves in every way shape or form to what we've come to believe we should or have to be. Only to find – that we NEVER measure up – the playing field keeps changing and we flit off in another direction of self-improvement so that we can feel good about ourselves. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

I learned a new word this week - liminality – and I love it! It's a special word for uncomfortable life transitions and I came across it as I finished reading Arthur C Brooks book (that sounds like a tongue twister) Anyway, it's called “From Strength to Strength” and it talks about high achievers transitioning to the second half of life.  He says that it “means the time between work roles, organizations, career paths and relationship stages.”  That time between – when you feel stuck or unsure of what comes next. Sound familiar? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

  One of the first things that I do with new coachees is talk about self-awareness surrounding their core values. We tend to live our lives on auto-pilot and some of our activities may not reflect what is truly important to us. We habitually think the same thoughts and do the same things. And we don't even realize that we do! Think about waking in the morning- 71% of us grab our smart phones as soon as we wake up. What do you check? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

People seek out coaches for all sorts of reasons.  Some want to excel at work, others want to build or repair relationships with the important people in their lives and others want to reach a specific goal like writing a book or losing weight. What they all have in common is a desire to change something. The strength of the desire is something that is explored when I first meet with a client. Sometimes it is an overwhelming yearning and other times there is a faint whisper from within that simply will not go away. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

Our body & mind craves homeostasis and attempting to change habits, beliefs or anything else requires us to go through a period of discomfort when we mindfully learn to make new choices like regular reading to learn or going to the gym. According to Psychology Today, change can be made more difficult by changing too many things at once or seeing that one change prompts a multitude of other changes making the whole process too complex. And sometimes the status quo is just too comfortable. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

Although summer in not quite over, it's already been a roller coaster of activity and challenges to my beliefs, values and attitudes. June saw me check off a significant milestone in my personal journey. I am now living with my husband (again) after more than a five year break. In my book, I spoke about leaving because I didn't feel as if I belonged anymore. I no longer knew who I was and that will continue to evolve as I challenge myself to live a meaningful life on a daily basis. It feels good to be here. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

There is often an excitement that emanates from me when I delve into something that I've not done before. I'm thinking of that tandem sky-dive a few years ago or taking early retirement at 55. There is also a terror and sometimes they feel the same. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wendy-mcgean/message

I believe that each and every one of us has the ability to make our own kind of magic. That thing that happens when you align with who you truly are and live it on a day to day basis. Some people would call it an alignment with core values – I call it magic. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

When is that last time that you had some time free up? How did you react? With annoyance or joy? If it was the former, what new roles or responsibilities have you adopted over the last little while that is having an impact on how you show up each day? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

The past week has been a tough one. I found myself unable to get out of my own way. My mind was filled with a handful of projects that I am working without having fine-tuned the goals. I was starting to get a “what's the use?” vibe – why am I doing these things? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

I've been away from the microphone for a couple of weeks – off to Nova Scotia to visit my mother- a road trip with the new puppy to visit family. It was an emotional and challenging trip as I continue to witness my mother's journey into aging. And it seems as if suddenly everyone I talk to is going through some version of this. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

I want to do everything of interest that presents. There's nothing wrong with that – although I seem to be challenged to remind myself that I cannot do it all at the same time. And the more than I take on, the more my efforts are diluted for those projects that are really important to me. Time and energy dissipate before the goals are met. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

I've just had an interesting couple of days of low activity and Netflix - mostly. It's been a long time since I so thoroughly enjoyed an unexpected break – I'm heading into the coming week with more energy and some innovative ideas for what I will decide to focus upon. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

Ever notice that it's easy to stay present when we are doing something that we enjoy? It's a little harder to stay present when working tasks that I would rather not be doing. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

It's one of those emotions that bubbles up when our needs are not being met. Maybe “bubbles up” is too gentle a description – spews or erupts might be more apt. Something is out of whack and I usually don't take a lot of time to consider what's behind it. However, I had an epiphany last week as my puppy drew blood for, what seemed like, the millionth time. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

I have lived that it is possible to make changes in my own life – moving from automatic pilot to creating each day with intention. And it is not necessary to throw out the baby with the bath water. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

There is much to be thankful for in my little world. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

It's been a humbling couple of weeks as I start over with a new puppy and realize that I need 8 arms and an extra set of eyes in the back of my head. And maybe a suit of armour. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

I wasn't sure that I would ever have another dog – Reeses was irreplaceable. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

I love metaphors – the different ways that we use language to enhance a story or description that shed light on the meaning sought. And metaphors appear to us in more ways than language – sometimes we live them – we need only notice. And sometimes they offer some clues for self-coaching. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

Noise is everywhere. At every turn someone is trying to convince us to do something or buy something or believe something. That does not mean that it's good or bad. However, it is important to be aware of that dynamic and, for me, to question what and how I am thinking before I make choices. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

In The Artist's Way (Julia Cameron), the topic of identify is front and center. In fact, it is presented as recovering a sense of identity. Who am I? Who are you? Think about that for a moment. We are not our thoughts, we are not our beliefs and attitudes and we are not our jobs or our routines or the roles that we play. Those are just things that we do. Who are we, who do we choose to be from moment to moment? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

Do you feel safe to be yourself? I'm not talking about physical safety but rather a knowing deep inside that tells you that you are free to be you – that you won't be hurt, embarrassed, ashamed or admonished by expressing yourself in your life. Do you feel confident that you, even if the people around you do not agree with whatever you are saying or doing, are still free to express yourself? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

Have you ever wished that you were a fly on the wall for some conversation or event. Something that you wanted to observe – oftentimes because you knew that you really shouldn't be in that conversation but you are curious. The fly on the wall does not engage but observes – like watching a movie with no role to play in the scene. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

I think that not listening is often a symptom of not being present. I've recently re-started a meditation practice and I can see the benefits already – one of which is listening better. It's great training for staying in the moment and recognizing the stimuli all around us – sights, sounds, temperature, smells. I'm continuing on my life long trek to stay in the moment and maybe getting a little better at it. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

You know those times in your life when you feel lit up – completely alive and firing on all cylinders? When you feel as if you are exactly where and when you should be and doing exactly what you were meant to do? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

I was reminded this week that we can have a ripple effect on people even when we are not consciously aware of it. Have you ever stopped to think about how your very presence can have an impact on people that you come across in your day? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

Personal growth implies changing things about yourself, whereas personal evolution implies radically accepting who you are and allowing changes to occur naturally. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

I'm writing this on April 7th, 2022 – what would have been my dad's 89th birthday. In the 5 years since Simon McGean retired his earthly body, a lot has changed in my life and in the world. But I can't help but think how much changed in his lifetime. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

Beauty is defined, in the Meriam Webster dictionary as “the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit : LOVELINESS” --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message

For years, I thought that meditation was sitting in a lotus position and repeating a mantra. Not my favourite way to sit as my legs are not that flexible – I'm not good at imitating a pretzel although yoga does help with the flexibility. I've hung in there and completed a couple of Deepak Chopra's 21 Day Free Meditations a few years ago. And bailed on more than a few. The best advice that I remember from those was to sit comfortably with my eyes closed and follow a rhythm of deep breathing and a mantra. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/wendy-mcgean/message