Slow Love

Amanda Goff (formerly known as Samantha X, Australia's most well-known high-end escort) provides us with the low-down on her dating-life post escorting. She might have commanded a $1500 fee an hour, but she's no stranger to ghosting, and the myriad of other curious dating app behaviours which go on online. From dating apps, to next steps - we talk to Amanda in a candid interview about what comes after high-end escorting. 

Marilyn Leder, Jewish lecturer, musician and comedian, turned 50 left her husband, and dipped her toes in the world of intimacy and sex on dating apps, discovering that men 10-20 years her junior were the ideal kind of suitors. After a series of disastrous dates with age-appropriate but dull suitors, Marilyn decided to drop her dating demographic to 30-40 years olds, discovering a world of curious, optimistic and fun men. Marilyn Leder has performed stand-up comedy widely in Melbourne as well as in Los Angeles at The Improv and The Comedy Store, where she likes to brag that Chris Rock once supported her (he actually pushed in before her set to test some material), and interned for Jason Alexander at NBC Development at Twentienth Century Fox, working on 'Seinfeld', 'Frasier' and 'Friends'. Currently at the Melbourne Fringe Festival performing her solo comedy show, "The MILF Next Door,' this is a candid episode of female empowerment, sexuality and humour. Get out the popcorn!

Earlier this year MAFS participant Olivia, shared a photo from Domenica's OnlyFans account with other cast members. The photo was used to shame Domenica on the program, and exploded in a heated debate for the Australian public, sparking discussions around slut shaming, body ownership and revenge porn. We talk to Australia's most well-known and loved high-end escort, Samantha X, about her OnlyFans account, why she closed it and the price of a bum-print or boob-print. Is it too high? We also talk to her about how OnlyFans works, and whether subscribers are held accountable for their actions. And of course, does the infamous Ms X think a culture of slut shaming will ever end? 

Ilaria is the poster girl for 'savage swiping' - that means she's doing dating apps, and doing them well. She's looking for a relationship, but she knows that 'numbers' are the way to get there. She's no stranger to the Bumble message, "There are no more bees in your hive," and has some serious dating KPIs. She's had a series of long term relationships and one pseudo soul mate, but last year during Covid she thought it might be time to start looking in earnest. We talk through her dating apps strategy, her experience on exclusive invite and celebrity only dating app Raya, and what her top tips are for dating app newbies. 

We talk to semi-retired, military veteran and author Jennifer Wittwer. Wittwer has a forty year career in the Australian military, including working with international organisations, armed forces and police forces. We talk to Jen about her career in cultural reform, her strategic advisory roles on women’s issues, her position as gender advisor in Afghanistan, and her role with the UN in women, peace keeping and security. Wittwer was raped when she was 20 years old whilst on a navy base. There were no mechanisms available to her to report the rape, and the only thing she could do at the time was bury it deep. However, from that moment she focussed her career on ensuring that women were protected on a daily basis. Today, Wittwer has a celebrated military career, and has been a beacon for cultural reform. A powerful and insightful interview on gendered violence, sexual assault and change.

After a month's of intense focus on sexual assault, gendered violence and consent in Australia, and the March4Justice women's rallies which occurred across every Australian capital city and in regional areas, co-creators, Lisa and Ruth talk about why we need to keep this discussion going and how this has personally affected them and their networks. They also talk about our up-and-coming guests, Samantha McDonald and Jennifer Wittwer, two survivors, change-makers and leaders within their own domains. 

Frankie is in her early twenties, and she is a dating app strategist. She has a tiered dating system, which ranks potential matches from casual to serious, and she applies this to her app and dating life. In an effort to meet a 'serious' contender, post Covid-19 lockdown she went to on dating app binge, and challenged herself to 10 dates in one month. During this period she met a number of hilarious characters, none of which reached the 'serious' contender bar - however, since then she has met her match, and they've made it exclusive. We talk to Frankie about what it's like dating in your early twenties in the digital world, what exclusive even means, and if you need to DTR every relationship. 

In this episode we explore different types of love - and in particular, the love between a mother and daughter. Olivia's (Liv) mother was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in her final years of school. Liv had idolised her mother from a young age, and describes her as the Matriarch of her family, in her teenage years they had drifted apart but the diagnosis of breast cancer brought them close together. We talk to Liv about the final two years she had with her mother, and how she feels ten years after her mum's passing. We talk about love that lasts after death, memories and ghosts. 

Kristin McIver is an Australian born, New York based artist. A new media artist she uses a variety of materials, to express ideas within the social and political landscape. Well known for her neon light, text based pieces, McIver examines love, and its relationship with  data, the digital domain, and consumerism. On the eve of her first solo exhibition in New York we talk to Kristin about love, life, data, Covid and art.

Have you ever been in a toxic relationship? How did it impact your beliefs in relation to intimacy? We speak to Marine, a French-woman, living in Australia. Marine moved to Australia five years ago, driven by the desire to cut a chord on a toxic relationship. We talk to her about the impact of a toxic relationship, the difference between French-men and Australian-men and dating in France and Australia. How did Marine get past her toxic relationship? And what has her experience been like in Australia on dating apps? Listen in, and take some notes - this is a provocative and interesting discussion on love, intimacy and relationships.   

To kick off Samantha X's saucy new monthly podcast for Slow Love, In bed with Samantha, the best-selling author and journalist interviews Mitch Larsson, a male escort who has recently joined her brand, 'Private Men.' In this tell all, Mitch reveals how he got into the business, what his first escorting experience was like, and what women want. This is the not to be missed launch of In bed with Samantha - and let's be real, who doesn't want to be in bed with Ms X?

Do you believe in ghosts? And what about intimate ghosts who act as guides? Therese was a free-spirited, traveller and actor. She's done everything from being on Neighbours, to running her own business in Spain, but when her closest confidante and friend, her mother, become seriously ill, she returned to Australia to be by her side in her final months. Her mum confided in her, that the one thing she would be sad about was never meeting the man that Therese would marry. Over a year after her mum's passing, Therese started to receive messages from her mum, and one message came when she was scrolling on a dating app. "Stop here!" Her mum said. Now, Therese considers this man her life partner. Listen to Therese in this special episode of "messages from the other side". Did Therese's mum send Therese her life partner from the other side?  This moving story is featured in this month's That's Life magazine. 

Lisa and Ruth talk dating and intimacy trends in 2020, dating app Super Sunday, and forecast the dating year ahead. Dating app Super Sunday is the first Sunday of January each year - traditionally, the highest day of traffic for dating apps. This follows Lisa's article in The New Daily about Super Sunday, and appearance on Studio 10. We talk why, and if punters should join dating apps now. We also talk to podcast regular and traditionalist Bianca, about how her relationship ideology has changed, and if she has any irons in the fire for 2021. Let's kick off the love year that is 2021!

In this final podcast for Slow Love in 2020, co-creators, Lisa Portolan and Ruth Borgobello chat about the intimacy trends documented, their favourite episodes and stand-out podcast moments. It's been a complicated intimacy, relationship, sex and dating year - Covid-19 and physical distancing might of kept us apart but how did we otherwise find intimacy? In this episode Ruth and Lisa talk about phenomenons like: the return of the exes, embracing friendships, iso-partners, the sex industry, and other key topics, and reflect on the intimacy year to come - 2021. Get a sneak peak of what's to come on Slow Love in 2021 - from dating app Super Sunday (the busiest day for dating apps: the first Sunday of the new year); Samantha X's sealed section and much, much more.

Has sex and intimacy changed irrevocably as a result of Covid-19? More than half (52%) of single Aussies think our approach and attitudes to sexual intimacy will change as a result of Covid-19 according to recent research conducted by Bumble. We talk to Bumble PR APAC Associate Director Lucille McCart about how intimacy, sex and relationships have changed in 2020. Did you know more than 20 percent of people on Bumble are 'New dawn daters'? That's people who are newly single after going through a break-up during the pandemic. So, it might be time to update your Bumble profile for 2021 because things are looking a bit fresh! Take a listen to this insightful interview with Lucille and get the scoop on all the love, sex and relationship trends for 2020, and what's to come in 2021.

Did people have less sex in 2020? And do sex toys make for good Christmas stocking fillers? We talk to dynamic duo, Jacqueline Hellyer (popular sexologist) and the infamous Samantha X about the changing world of sex. In 2020 research from the Kinsey Institute indicated that Covid-stress and anxiety was taking a toll on peoples' sex lives. This isn't a new trend. Sex is changing, and our understanding of sex. We talk to Jacqueline about this taboo topic, and what her top three tips are on having great sex in 2020. We also talk to Samantha X about her recently launched and booming sex toy line. What are her best-sellers? And why is a sex toy the latest Christmas gift? Don't miss out - this is a cheeky, provocative and important conversation about all things sex in 2020.   

  They met on Grindr in Melbourne five years ago. Rob was on a holiday in Melbourne, and Marek had three weeks left on his student visa and was due to return to Slovakia in three weeks time - but they knew almost instantly that they were in love. A couple of weeks ago they got married. We talk to Rob and Marek about falling for each other fast, the ups and downs of their five-year relationship, planning (and cancelling!) their dream wedding in the UK, and then, their actual marriage here in Sydney. A feel good story, that will warm the soul, and convince even the greatest dating app sceptic, that it is possible to meet “the one” online.

Martin Heppell is a former AFL player, and teacher and now facilitator and partner of the Resilience Project. We chat to Martin about what being a good man looks like in 2020, and talk vulnerability, authenticity, shame and mental health. It's been a tough year for many and Martin's episode provides much needed understanding and advice.

Thomas Mayor is a Torres Strait Islander man born on Larrakia country in Darwin. He was first a wharf labourer, then union official for the Maritime Union of Australia, and most recently, an author and tireless campaigner for the Uluru Statement of the Heart. We talk to Thomas about how his concept of masculinity has changed over the years, and what it's like to be a Torres Strait Islander man in Australia in 2020. This is a powerful episode which traverses topics such as racism, intimacy, mental health and empathy. 

We talk to acclaimed Australian actor Damian Walshe-Howling about topics around masculinity, intimacy, mental health - and much more in this unmissable episode. He has often played hyper-masc characters, but Damian discusses a deeper and more nuanced side to him. From his mentors, through to his struggles with anxiety and depression, we take a deep dive into the intimate world of Damian Walshe-Howling.   

Samantha X, best-selling author, former journalist, Madam and escort takes over the mic for the Slow Love podcast series and interviews one of her clients in a powerful and unforgettable episode. She asks "Mark" some of the questions we've all always wanted to know. Why do men see sex workers? Do they consider it cheating? And do they ever develop feelings for them? An unmissable episode of the Slow Love series. 

Amber Artis is the CEO of Select Date Society. She has been a professional matchmaker, operating in the US for over 20 years and has seen some significant shifts in client needs and wants during and post Covid. We find out what trends are happening in match-making, some of her top tips, and what are the key "non-negotiables" requested by her clients.  *This podcast was recorded in late July 2020, prior to the second wave of Covid in the U.S., and the second Victorian lockdown. f4

New Bumble dating app research indicates that two in five users felt decreased confidence in dating, and one third were less physically confident as a result of Covid-19. We chatted to Alita from Bad Dates of Melbourne in the thick of the final week of Melbourne lockdown about whether dating confidence was at an all time low, and with two special guest: Bianca from Melbourne (about her hilarious dating app mishaps) and Nick in Sydney (about losing confidence from social distancing). If your dating mojo is virtually non-existent, this will make you feel less like Robinson Crusoe, and will also give you some great tips about how to get that confidence back - fresh for 2021.

Lisa and Ruth talk about 3 months worth of intimacy Slow Love podcasts during Covid-19: key trends observed, favourite moments and the way forward for dating post lock-down. Has confidence eroded during Melbourne’s harsh lockdown? Will dating survive social isolation? Could the meet cute make a come back post lockdown? Don’t miss this special flashback and flash forward on all things Slow Love!

Michael and his partner met a couple of months before Covid-19 hit - after a couple of dates they decided to move in, not because of the impending lockdown, but due to personal circumstances. Within weeks they were plunged into the Melbourne shut-down, and into the complacency of an old relationship. With restaurants and bars closed, they missed the honeymoon phase of their relationship and went straight to the “Netflix, cereal and tracksuit pants” part. How did they keep their romance alive? And will they need to re-test their relationship once Melbourne lockdown lifts? One of the most intriguing stories we’ve heard of a whirlwind Melbourne lockdown romance - a must listen! 

Kate is a 36 year old, primary school teacher, who is looking for love. She enjoys travelling, adores her family and her job. There's just one more thing she's looking for ... the consistently elusive 'significant other'. And she's willing to participate in our good old fashioned love experiment. Take a listen to her podcast and find out the attributes of her ideal partner. 

Frank is a 31 years old Melbournian with an Italian background. When he was a kid he wanted to be a soccer player, and he was kind of theatrical on field, which eventually led to him being theatrical in real life - as a an actor. He's played a whole heap of recognisable parts, and he's now writing a screenplay about Sofia Loren, starring Sofia Loren. While he's career focussed, he's also looking for a partner - and he's willing to be  part of our love experiment. Take a listen to his podcast and find out more about Frank and who he's looking for. 

Professor Bronwyn Carlson is Head of the Department of Indigenous Studies at Macquarie University. Carlson is an Aboriginal woman who was born and raised on D'harawal Country. This is a not to be missed podcast which discusses the politics of Indigeneity on dating apps and racism.  

Merinda is a Gumbayngirr / Barkindji woman, a senior lawyer and the co-founder of the Blackfulla Bookclub. This year Merinda postponed her wedding due to Covid-19. We talk to Merinda about how she met her partner, the proposal, postponing the wedding, and her infertility journey. This powerful podcast will make you consider intimacy and love deeply, and provide you with insights on how to move forward if your life trajectory has been inexplicably changed.

We chat to comedian Neel Kolhatkar about why Aussie men are not romantic duds (what they might miss in romantic prowess they make up in other ways), his go to romantic moves (including love letters and post-it’s), his latest character ‘Margaret’ in love and play postcode-romance. Does love differ across Australian postcodes?  We also chat to him about Sex and the City and why he’s more of a Carrie / Samantha, rather than Charlotte and Miranda, and his top tips and relationship advice.  What’s it like being recognised on a dating app for Neel? The positives and negatives.  Don’t miss out on this fun and insightful episode. 

Lisa Camillo is an Italian-Australian human rights driven filmmaker, anthropologist, presenter and writer. She’s directed, produced and written award-winning documentaries and films, including Balentes, the Brave Ones, which was released in cinemas in Australia, the US as well as screening at many international film festivals. She returned to Italy two years ago to find love, after finding romance in Australia difficult. Not long before the Covid-19 lock-down she met a French chiropractor who lived and worked in Italy, and quickly fell in love. The pair became an iso-couple during Covid-19, offering each other solace, support and romance during this difficult period of time. In August, post-lock-down they took her father's boat across the Adriatic to Greece, now they find themselves stuck on a boat trying to get back into Italy, awaiting a Covid-test. We chat to Lisa about love, Australian and Italian men, her work, and why you should follow your dreams, even at 40.

Dr Jodi McAlister is an expert in all things romance. She is a Lecturer in Writing and Literature at Deakin University and the author of the Australian paranormal romance / urban fantasy series and smash-hit Valentine. She's a self-confessed 'trashy academic' and she examines all things romance and pop-culture, from the Bachelor / Bachelorette, to Twilight, to Fifty Shades of Grey and even staple and classic, the Bold and the Beautiful. We talk to her about virginity-loss narratives, the Aussie-bloke and mateships, whether Australians are romantically hopeless, and a whole lot more. 

Rose is a 26-year-old journalist and writer. She's an old school romantic, and her background is Lebanese. She is close to her faith and her parents are traditional. She calls herself a student of chaos and finds the world of dating apps too strategic and considered to deliver an emotion as whimsical as love. We find out her opinions on romance, Middle Eastern men versus Australian men, and how her faith impacts her romantic choices. 

Melissa Hobley is the Global CMO of OkCupid, she has spent her entire career in New York City, and prior to meeting her Aussie husband, she also dated extensively in New York City. It's a tough dating environment and it's made her a seasoned professional. We talk to Melissa about what makes OkCupid different to other apps, what trends she's seeing in Australian dating, whether Australians are different romantically to other nationalities, and to please explain, "iso-mating".

Lola is 36 years-old, lives in Sydney and has recently gone through a divorce. There was infidelity in the relationship on her partners' side. The break-up plunged her into a dark place, and since then, she's had to rebuild herself and relearn self-love. We chat to her about her top tips on getting through a difficult time, what she's learnt as a result of the break-up, and how her experience has been re-entering the dating app arena, especially during Covid. 

Alita is the creator of Bad Dates of Melbourne - a Facebook page with over 120,000 devoted followers - keen to share their dating experiences. She’s the curator of bad date content, but she’s also been on a few herself. From the guy who took her grocery shopping, to the one that explained the art of frying chips in intimate details ... she’s a bad date savant. But she is also a great date connoisseur. Find out from Alita how Covid-19 has changed intimacy, how Melbourne is dealing with dating lockdown x 2, and which is her dating app of choice.  As Alita says, “A date doesn’t have to turn into a relationship to be a good date.”

Alex is a twenty-five year old professional, who is mostly looking for some fun and potentially, a connection. His dad is South-Asian and his mum is Middle-Eastern, and Alex says that they are "share-holders" in his life. It may not be the ruling share but it's a significant one. This impacts how he dates and who he brings home to meet his parents. We find out more about Alex's Covid-19 dating app experience.

Bonus Episode 1! The Slow Love dictionary

Guido is a 26 year old gay man and professional. He's been in several relationships, and he enjoys a hook-up. Over the years his relationship ideology has changed a lot. He no longer believes in "monogamy" as the gold-standard, or pinnacle relationship - instead he thinks it's virtually impossible. How can one person service all your needs? He's open to all relationship configurations. But not during Covid. Instead, during Covid he's investing time in the relationships that mean the most to him, family and friends. 

Samantha X is a journalist, mother, escort, sexpert and Madam. And yes, she is rather infamous. We talk to the fabulous Samantha X about her take on love, relationships, marriage, men, the sex industry, and the impact of Covid-19 on intimacy. 

Bianca is a 43-year-old Italo-Australian woman, living in Melbourne, who is looking for love and a baby amidst the COVID-19 crisis. Her iso-partner is a recently adopted puppy aptly name ‘Sofia Loren’.

Zanda is thirty. He lives in NSW and has a couple of kids. He's a self-confessed romantic, and will openly admit that he's been looking for someone to love since he was 17 years-old. A victim of watching one too many rom-coms, and trying to emulate his parents' relationship (they've been together since they were 15 years-old).    Today he believes less in the concept of the one, but still in a lasting relationship. He met his new partner during Covid-19, and is hopeful about what is to come.

Craig is a 40 year-old professional and entrepreneur. He was married for 15 years, however the relationship broke down. Now, he's looking for love again. Not necessarily 'the one' but someone he can meaningfully connect with. The first Covid-19 lockdown proved tough. Craig lives alone, with no family close-by and even, no pets. He found the 24/7 alone time immensely isolating and challenging. He also tried to speed up a connection via Tinder to no avail. Today he's still single. Covid-19 made Craig realise that relationships are a critical facet to life satisfaction.

Bek just turned thirty. She's clever, fun and vivacious with a burgeoning career. She thinks it's virtually impossible to meet someone face-to-face because there's an over reliance on dating apps. Whilst she's used a couple she still finds their nuances difficult to navigate. One of the biggest issues tends to be moving someone from a casual chat to an actual date. There is a certain ambivalence that colours every face-to-face meeting, and ends in cancellation or disregard. A tarot reader told her that this was the year that she would meet her life-long partner. But then Covid hit and things became far more complex. Does a life long partner even exist? Bek finds herself questioning her ideologies on love, relationships and life.

Roxanne is a Sydney-sider, just turned 27, who had been looking for love for a while. She's vibrant, fun and interesting but she hadn't had any luck finding a partner. She had been using dating apps and browsing for potential for a couple of years, but only really started to take it seriously about a year ago. While the end goal was a relationship, she's also an extremely sexual person and welcomed the odd hook-up. After she was ghosted by someone she had become deeply intimate with, she dropped into a dark place, and decided that she needed to take back her sexuality and even her personality and how she related to men. She went through a phase of casual hook-ups, where she was hooking up with one to two men per day - and it was satisfying, empowering even. Along the way, she met someone she was really interested in. When Covid hit, the pair, who had only known each other for a short period of time moved in together, moved their relationship to the next level and became 'iso-partners.

Slow Love producer, Ruth Borgobello chats with host, Lisa Portolan about the inspiration behind the Slow Love podcast series, Lisa’s background and ground-breaking research on all things dating apps, intimacy and love in the time of Covid-19 and anticipated trends Covid-19 is set to bring to love and dating.