Podcasts about transform your boundaries

Licensed therapist and sought-after relationship expert Nedra Glover Tawwab, the New York Times bestselling author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself on how to get better at expressing your needs, saying no and asserting yourself without offending others. SOME KEY POINTS 6 types of boundaries Saying “No” without feeling guilty  Boundaries as self-care  Trauma and boundaries Setting a boundary without long explanations and justifications  Dealing with difficult people who are boundary pushers Setting boundaries with kids And how to identify in what area of your life you need to be more assertive in terms of boundaries. MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin - How to Recognize and Set Healthy Boundaries OTHER EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE  215: Transform Your Boundaries with Sari Gilman 264: (Roundtable) Boundaries  308: How To Ask for What You Need in a Relationship with Yvette Erasmus 262: When Your Needs Are Not Met with Yvette Erasmus 236: 3 Steps to Effective Limit Setting  SUPPORT THE SHOW, SHOW YOUR LOVE Become a patron on Patreon.com and join 21 exisiting memebers who contribute $121 towards our monthly goal of $500.  Make a one-time donation in any amount to say “Thank you!” Rate or write a review FULL SHOW NOTES www.authenticparenting.com/podcast HOW TO WORK WITH ANNA I would be thrilled to support you in your parenting journey! All listeners get 10% off on my services. Private Coaching Online courses and classes GET IN TOUCH Comments, questions, feedback, and love notes  USA listeners call 732-763-2576 and leave a voicemail. International listeners use the FREE Speak Pipe tool on my website Email: info@authenticparenting.com STAY CONNECTED Instagram Facebook Group-Authentic Parenting Community Thank you for listening!  With gratitude, Anna Seewald Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author www.authenticparenting.com  

Sarri Gilman is a psychotherapist, author, and speaker and has over 35 years of experience as a marriage and family therapist. She also has decades of experience as a community worker starting organisations such as Cocoon House and One Childhood lasts a lifetime before deciding to focus totally on people's development. Her 2014 book ‘Transform Your Boundaries' highlighted how acknowledging, setting and clearly articulating our boundaries can deepen our relationship with ourselves. Sarri is widely regarded as a leading world expert on boundaries so it was an absolute honour to have her own to talk about her area of expertise. So what exactly are boundaries? Sarri describes it simply as our yeses and our nos. What we feel comfortable doing and what we do not. So why are we talking about boundaries? Well, Sarri tells me that as a psychotherapist, she believes that boundaries are at the heart of why most people end up in therapy. These can be boundaries between ourselves and our partners, our parents or guardians, our jobs and even our use of technology. I have benefited hugely from Sarri's work and I am delighted I can share this conversation with you.https://www.sarrigilman.com/Sign up to our Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/earthlydelightspod

In the final episode of the year I sat down with Julie Star, an active member of the Authentic Parenting Community to review the year 2020. We talked about what the podcast meant for me, what lessons I've learned, we share the top 10 episodes of the year, my favorite episodes, we talk about our amazing Support Group and what to expect in the new year. As well, we both share our lists 21 for 2021.  I share some interesting facts and reveal Who was my favorite guest and why? An awkward thing that happened during recording  A funny moment from an interview Anna’s Favorite Episodes of the Year  Ep. 223: Parenting in Quarantine  Ep. 233: Finding Yourself After a Broken Marriage  Ep. 242: 5 Simple Practices for Daily Happiness Ep. 239: 5 Shifts in Agility for Thriving in The Time of Disruption Ep. 238: The Secret to Getting Kids to Listen and Cooperate  Ep. 247: The 3 R’s of Pandemic Parenting Ep. 248: Real-Life Advice on Parenting During Pandemic  Ep. 251: How to Raise a Self-Driven Child Ep. 252: 10 Ways to Support Your Child and Teen Through The Pandemic  Ep. 254: Anxiety Relief Strategies for You and Your Struggling Child  Top 10 Episodes of 2020 How to Break Free of the Drama Triangle  (Coaching) The Performance Trap of Modern Motherhood  Helping Kids to Manage Emotions, Ease Anxiety and Stay Focused  How to Play with Your Kids When You Don’t Like Playing episode with Laura  Parenting in Quarantine with Tina Bryson  Ditch Busy: Finding a Happier Balance with Kelly  Transform Your Boundaries  Feel Less Busy While Getting More Done  How to Deal with a Narcissist  Childhood Emotional Neglect BECOME A SUPPORTER OF THE SHOW 1. With your support we can continue the production of the podcast uninterruptedly. You can choose a level of support on Patreon.com by becoming a patron. 2. One time donations are also deeply appreciated. Give from the heart now.   FULL SHOW NOTES www.authenticparenting.com/podcast    WANT TO GET THE MOST OUT OF YOUR LISTENING EXPERIENCE?  Download the Easy Start Guide PDF with clickable links to past podcast episodes (over 160) grouped by category. East Start Guide>>>http://eepurl.com/ggtWk1   ABOUT ME I help overwhelmed, frustrated parents who want to parent differently than their parents, make sense of their early childhood experiences, connect to their authentic self and their children on a deeper level, reduce stress, bring more ease, calm and joy into their lives by yelling less, and practicing non-punitive discipline.   WORK WITH ME Listeners of the podcast get 10% on my coaching services.  I would be thrilled to support you in your parenting journey! Click here to get started with my Introductory (3 Sessions) Package or REAL Change Package - 6 Private Coaching Sessions-worldwide! :) Court-Ordered Parenting Classes (in person NJ, NY,and PA residents only)    YOUR FEEDBACK IS VALUABLE! Do you have a comment, question, or a takeaway about this episode or the podcast in general?   USA listeners call 732-763-2576 right now and leave a voicemail. International listeners use the FREE Speak Pipe tool on my website. Add your voice. It matters! Email: info@authenticparenting.com   RATE & WRITE REVIEW FOR THE SHOW Watch this quick video tutorial on YouTube to how rate and write a review for the podcast on Apple Podcasts.   SUBMIT YOUR PARENTING QUESTIONS TO BE ANSWERED IN THE SHOW: Voicemail: 732-763-2576 Speak Pipe for sending audio messages Email: info@authenticparenting.com   CONNECT WITH ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA Authentic Parenting on Facebook Instagram   NEED PARENTING SUPPORT? Join the Authentic Parenting FREE online community Thanks for listening!   With gratitude, Anna Seewald, M.Ed, M.Psy Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author www.authenticparenting.com  

Sarri Gilman teaches us all about boundaries. Do you struggle with boundary setting? Do you often say yes when you mean no? How do you deal with boundary pushers and boundary blind people?  how to set boundaries how to know what your boundaries are how to deal with your own emotions about your boundaries  how to deal with others emotions about your boundaries  and how to do deal with others who are extreme challengers to your boundaries and more Boundaries are invisible structures that help us have healthy relationships. Set and protcet your boundaries like a pro.  BECOME A SUPPORTER OF THE SHOW 1. With your support we can continue the production of the podcast uninterruptedly. You can choose a level of support on Patreon.com by becoming a patron. 2. One time donations are also deeply appreciated. Give from the heart now.   FULL SHOW NOTES www.authenticparenting.com/podcast    ***Want to get most out of your listening experience? Download the Easy Start Guide PDF with clickable links to past podcast episodes (over 160) grouped by category. East Start Guide>>>http://eepurl.com/ggtWk1   ABOUT ME I help overwhelmed, frustrated parents who want to parent differently than their parents, make sense of their early childhood experiences, connect to their authentic self and their children on a deeper level, reduce stress, bring more ease, calm and joy into their lives by yelling less, and practicing non-punitive discipline.   WORK WITH ME Listeners of the podcast get 10% on my coaching services.  I would be thrilled to support you in your parenting journey! Click here to get started with my Introductory (3 Sessions) Package or REAL Change Package - 6 Private Coaching Sessions-worldwide! :) Court-Ordered Parenting Classes (in person NJ, NY,and PA residents only)    YOUR FEEDBACK IS VALUABLE! Do you have a comment, question, or a takeaway about this episode or the podcast in general?   USA listeners call 732-763-2576 right now and leave a voicemail. International listeners use the FREE Speak Pipe tool on my website. Add your voice. It matters! Email: info@authenticparenting.com   RATE & WRITE REVIEW FOR THE SHOW Watch this quick video tutorial on YouTube to how rate and write a review for the podcast on Apple Podcasts.   SUBMIT YOUR PARENTING QUESTIONS TO BE ANSWERED IN THE SHOW: Voicemail: 732-763-2576 Speak Pipe for sending audio messages Email: info@authenticparenting.com   CONNECT WITH ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA Authentic Parenting on Facebook Instagram   NEED PARENTING SUPPORT? Join the Authentic Parenting FREE online community Thanks for listening!   With gratitude, Anna Seewald, M.Ed, M.Psy Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author www.authenticparenting.com

On the Verge Radios favorite Boundaries Badass is back! Sarri Gilman, LMFT, creator of the Transform Your Boundaries program, will be joining us to discuss having and maintaining healthy boundaries in dating. Learn how solid, healthy boundaries will empower you as you search for the one and help you attract the partner you REALLY want. Theres a huge difference between being vulnerable and open to an authentic connection and being a doormat. If youre ready to ditch your limiting beliefs and unhealthy practices, tune in and learn how to be a Boundaries Badass on the dating scene.

Sarri Gilman, LMFT is a psychotherapist, author, and workshop presenter. She is the author of Transform your Boundaries® (2014) and Naming and Taming Overwhelm for Healthcare and Human Service Providers (2017). She has a private therapy/counseling practice on Whidbey Island and devotes the rest of her time traveling and teaching on the subject of boundaries and overwhelm recovery, trauma, and the reflective process SoulCollage® Sarri trains trainers in boundary recovery work. She has CE classes for Nurses, LMHC’s, LICSW’s and Psychologists.. She accepts a few teaching positions each year on boundaries and overwhelm recovery that will help people in the fields of healthcare and human services. Her books have been selling around the world.  Each year she also offers a three-day boundary immersion retreat for people recovering their boundaries. I've been thinking a lot about the importance of boundaries lately. After talking with Sarri, I'm convinced that many of our stressors and struggles stem from a lack of clear boundaries. One of the things that stood out to me the most from this discussion was that people will get very creative when there are clear boundaries. Think of what happens when you establish clear rules about media use. I overheard a conversation about how to have a screen-free summer. The consensus was that the best way to do it was to have a clear rule that there would be no media use. Period. If there are exceptions then there are ways around the rule! That's when arguments start. I'm telling you. It's a lot easier to comply, and get creative when boundaries are clear. There are many, many benefits to having clear boundaries. I hope you discover a few in this episode! Find more from Sarri at http://SarriGilman.com Join the Family Success Toolkit Free Membership http://homeandfamilyculture.com  

Chapter 1 – Sarri Gilman Sarri Gilman helps others search for healthy boundaries and find balance in their lives. A licensed psychotherapist, the Whidbey Island resident works with individuals, couples and families challenged with issues around relationships, emotions, mental health and being in a state of overwhelm. Her boundary workshops help people understand how saying “Yes” or “No” is a guidance system – a compass – in life for every relationship and every decision. Gilman has also brought her work to organizations such as Leadership Snohomish County and Cocoon House. Gilman shared her philosophy on stage at TEDxSnoIsleLibraries 2015. Chapter 1 length: 1:18:02 Chapter 1 links Sarrigilman.com “Transform Your Boundaries” book “Naming and Taming Overwhelm” book  Whidbey Island Holistic Health Association profile Whidbey Institute interview Sarri’s Facebook page Sarri’s YouTube channel Sarri’s LinkedIn profile Chapter 2 – Selma Bonham At 93, Selma Bonham has seen a few things. Majoring in geology, she graduated from Penn State University and then earned a Master’s from Stanford in 1949. After 40 successful years in a male-dominated profession, Bonham retired and moved from the East Coast to Mill Creek and became involved with the Friends of the Mill Creek Library. Bonham says her awareness of civil rights began early when her father began hiring persons of color for skilled jobs in his department store. Later, at Mill Creek, Bonham organized a flash mob at the library to sing in honor of Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Chapter 2 length: 04:33 Chapter 2 links MLK Day sing-along news item “We shall overcome” sing-along video northshoreseniorcenter.org Selma’s LinkedIn profile Stanford Geological Sciences U.S. Geological Survey Penn State University

CJ interviews Sarri Gilman on her book "Transform Your Boundaries". What are boundaries? How we can set boundaries by listening to our inner YES or NO? What happens when we ignorer our needs or bury our inner voice? Sarri shares common ways people lose their boundaries in relationships by being workaholics, sacrificers, or caretakers. Other modes of burying your innver voice is through being a number, isolator, protector, or lover. This show is broadcast live on Wednesday's 4PM ET on W4WN Radio – The Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (http://www.talk4radio.com/) on the Talk 4 Media Network (http://www.talk4media.com/).2

On the Verge Radios favorite Boundaries Badass is back! Sarri Gilman, LMFT, creator of the Transform Your Boundaries program, will be joining us to discuss having and maintaining healthy boundaries in dating. Learn how solid, healthy boundaries will empower you as you search for the one and help you attract the partner you REALLY want. Theres a huge difference between being vulnerable and open to an authentic connection and being a doormat. If youre ready to ditch your limiting beliefs and unhealthy practices, tune in and learn how to be a Boundaries Badass on the dating scene.

CJ interviews Sarri Gilman on her book "Transform Your Boundaries". What are boundaries? How we can set boundaries by listening to our inner YES or NO? What happens when we ignorer our needs or bury our inner voice? Sarri shares common ways people lose their boundaries in relationships by being workaholics, sacrificers, or caretakers. Other modes of burying your innver voice is through being a number, isolator, protector, or lover.This show is broadcast live on Wednesday's 4PM ET on W4WN Radio – The Women 4 Women Network (www.w4wn.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (http://www.talk4radio.com/) on the Talk 4 Media Network (http://www.talk4media.com/).2

On the Verge Radios favorite Boundaries Badass is back! Sarri Gilman, LMFT, creator of the Transform Your Boundaries program, will be joining us to discuss having and maintaining healthy boundaries in dating. Learn how solid, healthy boundaries will empower you as you search for the one and help you attract the partner you REALLY want. Theres a huge difference between being vulnerable and open to an authentic connection and being a doormat. If youre ready to ditch your limiting beliefs and unhealthy practices, tune in and learn how to be a Boundaries Badass on the dating scene.

No. Its one of the shortest words in the English language, but for many of us, it can be one of the hardest to say. And when it comes to family, it seems even more difficult to say no. The holidays are upon us, a time when many of us visit family, arriving with a sense of hope and leaving feeling resentful. Or maybe you just spend weeks dreading the holidays and avoid them altogether. It doesnt have to be that way! On this episode of On the Verge Radio, Host Laura Richer, owner of Seattle Healing Hypnotherapy, helps to identify why we have such a hard time maintaining our boundaries and how she can help. Also joining the show will be Special Guest Sarri Gilman, psychotherapist, author, and creator of the Transform Your Boundaries program. Sarri will be offering insight into personal boundaries and providing some helpful tips for staying strong during the family-filled holidays. Tune in and learn how to be the boss of your boundaries!

  Sarri is a psychotherapist, a TEDx speaker, and an author who is on a mission to help people connect and listen to their boundaries. She wrote the book “Transform Your Boundaries” which gives on-hand experiences that will get you involved in developing your own boundary skills in your everyday life. She has been a therapist for over 3 decades and is now on a journey to educate people on the essence of boundaries. "Boundaries really are just ‘What’s your YES?’ and ‘What’s your NO?’” This is a very powerful conversation about the YES and the NO inside of us. I, personally, experience how important it is to have the freedom to say NO. Sarri explains why it is significant to bring those boundaries up and connect with them. She also explains how our problems and struggles are relative to how we deal with our boundaries. “Your boundaries have one job and that job is to take care of you.” We are always locked up in the idea that saying YES is the right and polite thing to do. Listen to this episode and learn what boundaries are and what they truly mean.   "Keep reaching up for the things that make you feel better.”

Psychotherapist Sarri Gilman reveals how poor boundaries cause you to have people walk all over you, be stressed, and out of control. She gives tons of examples that really open up your eyes on how you're giving away your power, how you're losing control, how you allow stress in and give difficult people permission to make life hard for you. And, how creating strong boundaries weakens your anxiety and stress and brings you the inner peace you're looking for. She gives a lot of advice on what to do. You'll love this one.  Expert's show notes page (www.social-anxiety-solutions.com/sarri/) Contact me directly: www.social-anxiety-solutions.com/contact/ Warm regards,Sebastiaan van der Schrierwww.social-anxiety-solutions.com

It’s common these days to hear people talking about having healthy boundaries - but what does that even mean? How would you know what a healthy boundary looks like? How do you honor other people’s boundaries? And if you’re experiencing a breakdown - how do you get back on the right track, so that you know what your boundaries are, and so that they’re respected by the other people in your life. Today’s guest is Sarri Gilman, a therapist for 30 years who has also directed several non-profits, and the author of the book “Transform Your Boundaries”. In this book, Sarri Gilman explains exactly what your boundaries are, and what they aren’t, and gives you guidance about how to bring your boundaries, and yourself, back online. Here are the core topics that Sarri and I cover in this episode: YESSES and NOs.  Boundaries are at the core of all relationships- if you interact with humans, you need boundaries! What are boundaries? Boundaries are a collection of your yesses and your nos. We can navigate through layers of complexity and many difficult situations when we come back to a knowing about what our yesses and what our nos are. Boundary work is ongoing: As with so much in relationships, boundaries are not static entities. They change as we change, and vice versa. Forget about ever ‘mastering’ boundary setting - this is going to be a lifelong process! It takes time, and an investment in yourself too, to sort out your feelings so that you can get to know your own yesses, and nos. Of course there will be foggy and fuzzy situations, and grayness is a part of life, but the confusion cannot become an excuse to be uncertain of your boundaries. Instead, it means you may have to take extra time to check in with yourself. Self care is at the heart of boundary work- Boundaries - which we often think of as interactional and relational - all stem from self-awareness, and self-care. Start noticing how many times a day people ask you for something. Then notice how many times each day you have the chance to clarify what is a yes and what is a no. Tune into yourself - can you locate that knowing of what you need? To what extent do you follow through on this knowing? Ask yourself - am I giving myself what I need right now? Am I taking time each day for self-care activities? Am I drinking enough water? Am I picking up my guitar? My knitting? Have I taken a computer break and stretched? Tune into you, and learn what it is you need each day to feel well and okay on the inside. From this awareness, you can come to know your true yesses and nos, and gain a stronger voice and clearer compass for navigating conflict around boundaries. Where do you feel you are paying the price for not taking care of yourself? Not having healthy boundaries can lead to patterns of distraction, avoidance, and isolation. As you begin to increase your self-awareness around your yes and your no, you may begin to notice patterns of boundary avoidance, or compromise. So many of us have been conditioned to put others first, so that our boundaries are a response to what others need, rather than linked to self-care. Some common patterns of unhealthy boundary setting include workaholism, numbing out via internet, social isolation, as well as approval seeking. Do you find yourself looking for LOVE without looking for YOU? Are you so hungry to be loved/liked/approved of that you will do anything for this, without considering if it is actually good for you, or aligned with your real needs? There is a line in any of these patterns that we do that is healthy, and okay up to a certain point. We are all going to have times we need to distract ourselves, put others first, or feel a need to isolate, and yet, it is key to have a way to check back in with ourselves. When we lose ourselves we lose control of our behavior, and this can lead to depression. On the contrary, if we hold boundaries that are too rigid and firm, they become imprisoning for ourselves and our soul/spirit. What nurtures you? What is it that YOU need to feel alive, centered, and empowered? Tune into the very core needs you have on a daily and weekly basis, and make sure you are honoring them. Take an hour to read, time at the gym, a walk with a friend, a dinner date - these small acts of nurturance create the resilience, and self-compassion that makes us that much more open to our relationships. Boundaries help to bring ourselves closer to others. Although it may at first sound paradoxical, good boundary setting allows for more authentic intimacy and connection. This is true because setting boundaries is the result of, and the contributor to our knowing ourselves better, which in turn brings those around us closer. Whether with your family, your work relationships, or your primary partnership, learning healthy boundary setting will lead to increased truthfulness, trust, and depth! Scary, but worth it! Setting boundaries can be difficult and daunting. It can be especially hard if you are someone who has spent much of their life trying to care take of, or please those around you. What helps get through the immediate fear is looking towards the long term results and consequences. Not holding boundaries or following through on commitments with yourself has a huge price! We each have a spirit, or a part of us, that watches what we are doing all of the time - if it always sees you saying no to you, not following up on your own needs, then you may begin to feel depressed. Constantly saying no to ourselves, and trying to say yes to everyone else, can develop into depression, anger, and resentment. Resentment: Resentment is the clearest signal that your boundaries have been crossed. It comes from a feeling that someone failed to respect our boundary - but it is not their job to do so! It is our job to state our boundaries, and to make them clear and big. If someone is crossing your boundary, it likely means you have to make a bigger sign. The fear and intimidation of doing so should not be a barrier - it is temporary and ephemeral, unlike resentment which does not leave us quickly, and can stick with us so long it make us sick. By allowing our fear of saying no to dominate, we run the risk of carrying around resentment- and then we are left paying that price for a long while. Instead, choose to take the risk of the discomfort of a NO in the name of authenticity, connectedness, and a more honest way of being in relationship! It is your job to respect and care-take your own boundaries. No one else can do this for you. The art of saying NO: Once you have the courage and self-compassion to set a boundary, then it is your responsibility to do so with as much compassion for the other as you can. Many times our yesses and our nos come up with a lot of associated feelings - anger, frustration, entitlement, etc. Check in to see what level of emotional charge you are feeling, and if it is high, take steps (walk, journal, breathe...) to calm yourself enough so that you can state your boundary from a centered place. When we do so, it is better received than when we set a boundary with hot and high emotions. You may think that getting big and loud will help the other person see your boundary more clearly, but really it only distracts them, puts them in the defense, and leads to increased tension and conflict. Furthermore, with your emotions in check, you are more likely to feel grounded and have a ‘stand by it’ mentality that allows you to not be as affected or swayed by the (often) inevitable reaction you may get. It will help you stay committed to the boundary itself, without getting distracted or lost in all the feelings around it. How to best handle your fear of communicating a NO: It is common to be worried about how your boundary is going to be received - and yet, often this fear is based on an assumption we are holding. Acknowledge that you have some fear about what a no is going to mean to the other person, and share this! If you are someone who hates to disappoint people, you can take care of them and this feeling simultaneously by simply stating “I am really sorry if you find this disappointing…” before you share your no. Putting it right out on the table is a way of creating more understanding. And helps to create a bridge between the two parties so that they do not get too lost in the emotionality of the process. This connecting is critical when you share boundaries, especially within your romantic relationship as it helps to hold the container and the safety necessary so that the no does not feel like a rupture of attachment. If your no comes from an authentic, self-honoring place, then it is inherently important, even if uncomfortable, for your partner to know about. The deeper your awareness of this, the more resilient you can be in your stance and more capable of holding the boundary, while holding the temporary hurt or harm your partner feels. We want to get what we want. And we don’t like not getting it. You may find that people use anger and big emotion as a way to manipulate you to change your mind if you have stated a no, when they expected and wanted a yes. People ARE going to push up against you. Be ready for this- notice it and be okay with people having feelings about your inner boundaries. It is okay for people to not like it, or to be upset!  It is not a relationship breaker! Without feeding the drama, you can state something along the lines of “I understand that you are angry, and totally get why you are angry, and I am not going to change my mind. Let’s figure out together how else you can get what you need/want!” What to do if you suspect that your partner’s NO stems from fear or avoidance: If you do not understand or trust the motives behind your partner’s No, use this doubt and confusion as an invitation for more understanding. Ask them to tell you more about their No. Where does it come from? What brought them to the No? How is it important to them? This curiosity and compassion will help you understand the deeper place your partner is coming from, while also creating a culture and a conversation that can help any stuckness or fear your partner has that is motivating their No, allowing it to dissipate. When we feel comfortable and respected in our relationships, our boundaries can come from that authentic core needs place, rather than from a more reactive and rigid place. This conversation about boundaries provides a chance for intimacy and connection - enjoy it! Explore it! You ARE going to have a different yes and no than your partner. This understanding is critical in order to provide the flexibility and resilience necessary to get creative! The challenge is not to get on the same page, but rather how to prioritize and protect each other's needs without violating the other’s no. This process encourages creativity and spark! You CAN coexist with a values conflict if you are willing to expand the field a little bit, and start working together to find new solutions. Connect with your partner each day. Take a minimum of 20 minutes each day to check in with each other. Ask each other questions, and listen! How are you feeling about this/that? What are you thinking about? Is there anything I need to know? What is on your heart? Find out what your partner needs for their self-care, and ask more about it. How can I help you? How can I better encourage that for you? How can I support from my end? Frequent quality check-ins help to create an environment where boundary work can happen in a more effective and mutually empowering way! TRY THIS: In an effort to practice stating and receiving nos and yesses, you and your partner can take turns expressing to each other some things that you know your partner will say no to. Notice what it is like to receive a no. To state a no. Then try it with yesses. Feel free to laugh! This exercise is meant to help bring in some humor and take the charged energy out because once you can laugh with each other, you can more easily catch yourselves and turn towards regaining perspective. Resources For more information about Sarri Gilman’s work see her website here Watch Sarri’s TEDx talk Read Sarri’s book Transform Your Boundaries Look for her app coming out Fall of 2016! Check out episodes #14 Margaret Paul and #26 Dick Schwartz for more on getting in touch with your inner voice www.neilsattin.com/boundaries Visit to download the show guide, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the show guide to this episode with Sarri Gilman and qualify to win a copy of Transform Your Boundaries and her Transform-Your-Boundaries cards! Our Relationship Alive Community on Facebook Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out!