The holidays are over - you made it. By the looks of our inbox, the season wasn't easy. This week, a holiday debrief, including bad behavior from therapists, why religion is not the answer to grief, and some true facts about dating after loss. In this episode we cover: how to say “I can't work with you” without accidentally shaming your patients or clients why “but your (dead relative) is all around you, just in a new form!” maybe isn't the most supportive thing to say questions to ask yourself when faced with a surprise romantic breakup (and what that has to do with grief) and as always - fun talk about boundaries. Questions to Carry with you: Boundary practice! Still working on those resolutions? Be sure to listen to the two-part episode New Year, Same Grief (and the Math of Suffering) for help creating resolutions that feel a little more achievable than “overhaul my entire life” Find all this, plus instructions for how to submit YOUR questions to be answered on a future show in this episode of Here After with Megan Devine. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can't be made right. For more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at www.Megandevine.co For grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on IG, FB, & TW Check out Megan's best-selling book- It's Okay That You're Not Okay -at refugeingrief.com/book To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.co Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
What if we transformed the way we thought about boundaries from the watered down and single lensed discussion of boundaries you might see popularized in social media, to an understanding of Boundaries that encompasses the entire self, including and centering our Felt Sense? What if we learned how to start connecting with our bodies so that we could actually feel and respect our bodies sensations as a way to understand our boundaries? In this Episode of Transforming Together the HopeWorks Podcast, key host, MC Carey (they/them) is joined by HopeWorks Clinical Therapist, Anne Eckman (she/her) who helps to guide the conversation of boundaries through the lens of Somatic Therapy and mind-body healing. MC & Anne go through exercises to help start the work of connecting to our own felt sense, discuss the reasons why this may be so hard and new for folks, and offer knowledge around how boundary setting helps to heal our relationships to self/partners and also helps to heal our community. Boundary setting is a transformative act, and starting from an embodied place, a place of safety, can help us connect with boundaries in a more authentic and whole way. More felt sense exercises here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1r43S2OEhVtOwFAe2qAdxquKM5WnhujvE/view?usp=sharing
To end the year with a bang, we wanted to do a recap of some of our favorite episodes from 2021! It has been a great year with so many wonderful guests and professionals that we've had the pleasure of interviewing on the podcast. They have given us insight into healing, and we hope that you have found validation, guidance and hope in your journey through these episodes. If you would like to listen to any of the podcasts mentioned in the episode, some will be included in the show notes below. We also wanted to say thank you to all of YOU who have tuned in, shared our podcast, and left us a review. This podcast would not be what it is or have reached people the way it has without you! If you have anything you would like to hear us talk about, questions, interview requests you can reach out to us at firstname.lastname@example.org Show Notes: If you would like to listen to Kim Day's Sexual Abuse episodes, listen here. If you would like to listen to Jeff Ford's Emotional Abuse episodes, listen here. If you would like to listen to Noelle McBride's Divorce episodes, listen here. If you would like to listen to Jeff Steurer's Therapeutic Disclosure episodes, listen here. If you would like to listen to Jill Manning's Boundary episodes, listen here. If you would like to listen to Tammy Gustafson's episode, listen here. If you would like to listen to Jody Steurer and Jamee Adam's episodes, listen here.
Lisa Merlo-Booth shares her thoughts on boundaries in relationships. Episode 1193: Boundaries in Relationships by Lisa Merlo-Booth on Creating a Boundary, Successful Dating and Self-Care Lisa Merlo-Booth is a straight-talking and highly effective relationship expert, speaker, and blogger. She has over twenty years of experience in the field of therapy and relationship coaching and a thriving private practice with a client base of individuals and couples spanning the United States and Europe. Lisa is widely known for her straight talk on women, and for her emphasis on teaching women to stop responding in the extremes (silencing or exploding) and, instead, to affect change in a way that is grounded, respectful, and strong. This highly effective approach to communication is about speaking from Grounded Powerful Strength (GPS) rather than the extremes of meekness or aggression. The original post is located here: https://lisamerlobooth.com/boundaries_in_r/ BeachBound is a one stop travel shop that is redefining travel, as customers can book worldwide beach vacations including flights, hotels, transfers and excursions in one place. Visit Beachbound.com to book your next beach vacation Visit Me Online at OLDPodcast.com Interested in advertising on the show? Visit https://www.advertisecast.com/OptimalRelationshipsDailyMarriageParenting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
God sets the boundary lines through His Word. The boundary lines speak of ownership and determine the portion of the inheritance. When the boundaries are kept, it protects what is in the lot. Like David, we should make a prophetic declaration that our lot, our lives, belong to God and that the lines have fallen favorably. When we accept the boundary, we can stay focused on the promise of what is in the lot.
As a codependent, setting (and sticking to) boundaries can sometimes be challenging. And look, no judgment at all. Boundaries are tricky and take lots of practice. But they're also so important to have when you love someone suffering from addiction. Because here's the thing: without boundaries, the morals and values you entered the relationship with become compromised over time. Tune in to this week's episode, where I discuss a favorite book of mine (along with some helpful stories) about setting and sticking to boundaries. And even if you're not codependent, this will still be super helpful. This episode originally aired in October 2020. Find more here: https://loveoveraddiction.com/boundaries-for-codependents/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com
In this podcast episode, Greg Marchildon interviews Benjamin Hoy, the author of A Line of Blood and Dirt: Creating the Canada-United States Border across Indigenous Lands. Published by Oxford University Press in 2021, Hoy's book is a history of the infrastructure, policies, and personnel that were put in place over the past three centuries to create a boundary between the United States and British North America and, subsequently, Canada after 1867. Hoy also examines the impact of this boundary on Indigenous peoples who lived on either side of this border, or on both sides simultaneously. A transnational historian and a dual citizen of both Canada and the United States, Benjamin Hoy is an Associate Professor of History at the University of Saskatchewan. If you like our work, please consider supporting it: https://bit.ly/support_WTY. Your support contributes to the Champlain Society’s mission of opening new windows to directly explore and experience Canada’s past.
WDAY's First News anchors Se Kwon and Drew Trafton get you caught up on everything you need to know for Wednesday, December 15th. The InForum Minute is a product of Forum Communications and is brought to you by reporters at WDAY-TV and The Forum of Fargo-Moorhead. Find more news throughout the day at www.inforum.com for more.
Reading an unpublished piece which begins, "Dear One. When you speak a boundary..." My new book, Fragrance After Rain, is available online at booksellers worldwide, in both hardcover and softcover. You can be a precious part of our book launch by posting your copy on Instagram, tagging #jaiyajohn, encouraging others to purchase, posting readings of your favorite passages, and by sharing online book reviews. My whole heart cries Grateful. jaiyajohn.com. Books online everywhere...Episode text:Dear One. When you speak a boundary and do not uphold it, you have not actually set a boundary. You see? A boundary is not a word. A boundary is an act. An act of integrity between you and you. A promise not to betray yourself. A follow through on your sacred word. A consistency between word and behavior. A boundary is also a practice of being true to yourself.Maybe you are so afraid of being abandoned that you abandon yourself. You abandon making space and spirit for what you desire and need. You prevent the people and things that could be your blessing from having a place in your life. Who are you holding space for and why? It is good to ask this question daily. And to answer bravely.Trauma can cause us to act against our own interest by filling our life with people who violate our boundaries, and impeding the presence of those who would honor our boundaries. Gentle now. No need for guilt or shame. These words are Love's clarity. People pleasing is not just an inconvenience to yourself. It is a theft of your life space, energy, and fertility. Gentle now. If you were violated when you were young, you may very well associate being violated with Love. If your habit muscles for pleasing others are stronger than your habit muscles for healthy Love relations, sacred Love will be elusive. The answer is to strengthen your discernment muscles for healthful, mutually honoring relationship. Yes? When you speak a boundary and then accommodate a person's violation of that boundary by remaining available to them in the same way as before, you are inviting them to interpret your accommodation in ways that serve them, not you. They can with good reason tell themselves that you must not have meant what you said. That you must want them to be with you how they have always been with you. You signal this by betraying your boundary. And if you yearn for more space for yourself in your life, but keep flooding your life with the presence, energy, spirit, and motives of others who violate your stated boundaries, you are creating your own drought of space for yourself. You see?When you uphold a boundary, you are nullifying an agreement with another person written in the ink and ether of your joint history together that says, "I assent to how you are with me." You are presenting new, non-negotiable contract language backed by your willingness to release the prior relationship.A boundary is a personal habit. A form of hygiene. You keep yourself and your life clean and free for what you want by honoring what you say through what you do. You exude this habit energetically. You do not control how others respond to your boundaries. This is not the point of a boundary. Your boundaries are for your wellness, peace, and fulfillment of the life your soul desires. You can learn to be gentle with yourself, within yourself, in the way you nurture your boundaries. You do not have to destroy your soul with rage. Each day, pay Loving attention to how you exist in this world. Learn to discern what heals and helps you from what numbs, distracts, harms, or uses you. Speak your boundary and you plant a seed. Honor your boundary and you bring your seed all the way to its fullest, most beautiful life...Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/jaiyajohn)
Today is Wednesday, Dec. 15. Here are your top headlines from around the Fargo, North Dakota area. InForum Minute is a product of Forum Communications, brought to you by reporters from The Forum of Fargo-Moorhead and WDAY TV. For more news from throughout the day, go to InForum.com.
Episode #204. Digital products have been around a long time, but are they here to stay? Monica Froese helps women build six-figure businesses from digital products, so it's safe to say the answer is yes.In this episode, you'll find out how to get started in digital products without overwhelming yourself, what the heck is possible with a business model that includes digital products, and how to set up digital products for your sanity and the service of your audience. In This Episode You'll Learn:Why digital products are here to stay and how to create your solutionWhere to set boundaries with your support of one-time payment offersHow to get into digital products without overwhelming yourselfThe key to choosing a platform for advertising your digital product How to get the feedback you need to improve your digital offerFavorite Quotes“Digital products aren't a trend. They're the wave of the future because it's not like fewer people are going to be coming on the internet.” “When someone's new to digital products, they usually think they don't know anything anyone will pay money for or they know too much on their topic to distill down into something that would cost $27. What I teach is, you want to be building your audience and getting paid for it.”“People want to learn from someone that's just one or two steps ahead of them. They're not looking for that foremost expert. Most people want to buy from someone who's relatable on the topic.”Discussed on the Show:Monica's Free Digital Product TrainingMore about Monica:Monica is a digital product coach for women business owners and host of the popular podcast, Empowered Business. She has an MBA degree in finance and marketing and runs two brands Redefining Mom, a site for helping women thrive in both motherhood and business, and Empowered Business, where she's committed to empowering 1000 women to earn $100,000 through digital products.She spent 11 years working for a Fortune 100 company running multi-million dollar marketing campaigns with large brands like Microsoft and HP. Now she provides online marketing education to small businesses that are looking to build a profitable revenue stream through digital products through her online courses and podcast.Find Monica:WebsiteFacebookInstagramPodcast
How do we wrap up a year that's been both a challenge and a relief as things continue to shift and swirl around COVID? I share my best end of year/start of the new year rituals here. Below you'll find them all mapped out.) Plus a few others gleaned from my Self-Care Group for Extremely Busy Women on Facebook. But first, I start this show by sharing an episode I did to set the scene. I woke up one morning recently with some large, general insights that might be of help as you move on through your day. Namaste, Suzanne's Ritual: Find a cool place other than home Bring all relevant materials, paper and digital PART ONE: ASSESS Assess by whatever metrics are important to you THAT EMPHASIZE WHAT YOU DID ALL YEAR WORK Business owner might focus on sales or expenses or bottom line or customers served An employee might focus on work contribution made Manager might focus on interactions with staff and clientele What are all the relevant metrics that really mean something to you? Meetings attended? Days worked? Raises obtained or acknowledgements given THEN… note things you'd like to changePLACES TO LOOK: (Your memories will tell you a lot)Journal on: What irritated you? What made you swell with pride? What surprised you? What moved you? What do you long for? PERSONAL Time spent with loved ones Time spent on you? Vacations? Getaways? Hobbies started? Performances attended? Parties had or gone to Health goals or losses? Check ups? Body work? New friends?THEN… note things you'd like to changePLACES TO LOOK: (Your memories will tell you a lot)JOURNAL ON What irritated you? What made you swell with pride? What surprised you? What moved you? What do you long for? Once you go through it all, take a breather… finish a different day, perhaps, or walk away for a while Then… when you return: PART TWO: ACKNOWLEDGE & PLAN AHEADJournal on this: What are your takeaways? What could you do differently? How's your self-care What do you need that you're not getting? Get a clear list of changes you might make – your GOOD IDEAS list Don't be vague—be specific i.e. ‘A trip to HI' instead of ‘A Vacation' Get clear measurable parameters on them A new massage therapist? A new gym? A new meet up to find friends? Ask for a raise or better hours? Figure out any resources your need Visit the gym, book with massage, go to meet up, ask for a raise? Book it into your calendar Boundary setting Asking for help Being easier on yourself Also notice if GOOD IDEAS includes qualitative shifts Could be a walk in a pretty place A bubble bath A piece of great pie at a bakery Whatever feels right to you Acknowledge yourself when you are done with a great big treat RESOURCES Suzanne's Self-Care Assessment Bonus Suzanne's Blog, Some Key Insights That are Helping Me Cope The Extremely Busy Woman's Guide to Self-Care audiobook MORE ABOUT SUZANNE Suzanne Falter is a writer, podcaster and essayist whose work has appeared in SELF, O, More, Fitness, New Woman and The New York Times, Tiny Buddha and Elephant Journal. She is the author of multiple self-help titles including How Much Joy Can You Stand? (Ballantine) and the upcoming book, The Extremely Busy Woman's Guide to Self-Care (Sourcebooks). Suzanne also hosts the Self-Care for Extremely Busy Women podcast where she interviews leading self-care authorities and shares her own ideas.
This time of the year is all about going inward and allowing yourself some pre-holiday social rest. Chilly hints from Northern Hemisphere skies in the form of snow days and icicles are a literal permission slip to stay home, get cozy, and reflect.So, what have we been reflecting on? A whole year of boundary practice: Are we setting enough of them? Are we letting fear get in the way? How can we set more of them? What if my boundaries make people mad? Know this: A boundary is a contract between you and you; between yourself and what you value. If the boundary you've created isn't respected, even if someone gets upset, their reaction is their decision...and their reaction is usually not your responsibility to manage. Over time, we know that relationships change. The ones that don't hold water anymore will shift currents. And that's how the river keeps moving forward, past all of the fallen trees and boulders that might try to impede its progress.In this episode, Karlee and this month's co-host Anitza Martins are offering up another bite-sized portion of audio dark chocolate for your listening pleasure. And this week, it's Boundary-flavored...our favorite! Today, you'll hear why boundary-setting can sometimes create conflict, and how you can handle that disharmony in a healthy, meaningful way. They'll talk about processing the real information that's wrapped up in other people's emotional responses, and why it's perfectly ok to give yourself permission to walk away. Thriving is all about setting the boundaries you need, maintaining them, and making sure that the current you're rolling with is made up of people who are supporting you in being and finding your best self. If you're ready to stop fearing the boundary reactions of others and create the environment you need in order to thrive, then this episode is for you. What You'll Learn in This Episode:How to overcome your boundary-based fears (2:42)The messaging wrapped within other people's responses to our boundaries (4:01)Separating the reasonable from the unreasonable (7:40)The joy of not doing things you don't wanna do anymore (10:05)People Mentioned in this Episode:Dr. Valerie ReinSend your Audio Comments and Questions to email@example.comConnect With Karlee: WebsiteLinkedInInstagramMessy and Magnificent is produced by the folx at Ginni Media. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Henry's got some big feelings about Matt, and Doree suggests he set some boundaries. We get an update from a listener who had a very irregular cycle and another who became a surrogate after listening to our show. Plus, we get some thoughts on Santa and Daniel Tiger.Call or text us at 413-461-BABY or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
In this episode, Katy and Kaylee are taking a deeper look into boundaries. Were they modeled in their households while growing up? How did a lack of self-worth and boundaries affect their relationship with alcohol, and what does that look like now? This Holiday Szn Katy & Kaylee are implementing micro boundaries, cutting out unhealthy expectations and lack of communication, while stepping into their own self-worth, to better honor their needs. DryHardPod loves and references boundary expert & best-selling author, @nedratawwab so go follow along and buy her most recent book “Set Boundaries, Find Peace”. It's life changing
Staying in our Adult Chair and setting boundaries can be especially difficult at the holidays. Pressure to attend events or spend money, uncomfortable conversations, holiday traditions and gatherings of family and friends that might not normally get together can create plenty of scenarios that test our boundaries (not to mention the “shoulds” and guilt the holidays can bring!). It doesn't surprise me one bit when my inbox lights up with questions about boundaries this time of year. So, I enlisted the help of today's guest, psychotherapist and boundary expert Sharon Martin, to help me answer your questions about how to flex your boundary muscles this time of year — and anytime! We talk about how to navigate guilt and defensiveness when it comes to boundaries, helpful boundary statements and all kinds of practical tips and tools for setting boundaries at the holidays. Listen to discover: What a boundary is Why boundaries can actually lead to better relationships Why we sometimes feel guilty when setting a boundary (and how to work through this) What to do when someone doesn't respond to your boundary How to lower the defenses of the person you're setting a boundary with Why boundaries are an important form of self-care Boundaries are not something you have to master overnight. I didn't wake up one day suddenly good at setting boundaries either – but when you start slowly and build and build, you CAN learn this…and everybody needs to learn it, because boundaries are part of our self-care! So, if you're feeling overwhelmed by holiday boundaries, pick one or two to start with – a “no” to a party, a political topic you don't want to discuss or a gift budget. You'll bring a little extra sanity to your holidays and give yourself great practice for year-round self-care. “One way we can think about [boundaries] is as a dividing line.” - Sharon Martin “You can actually have better relationships when we are able to set boundaries.” - Michelle Chalfant “We don't need to wait until the uncomfortableness is completely gone for us to set the boundary.” - Sharon Martin “Boundaries and confrontation are not the same thing.” - Michelle Chalfant “Boundaries are really based on needs.” - Sharon Martin “It's always about staying connected to yourself so that you know when a boundary is necessary.” - Michelle Chalfant “Don't extend yourself to others so much that you've lost sight of what you need on the inside.” - Michelle Chalfant LINKS & RESOURCES Sharon Martin Website http://livewellwithsharonmartin.com/ “The Better Boundaries Workbook” (Sharon Martin Book) https://betterboundariesworkbook.com/ 2022 Annual Adult Chair® Membership 2022 Theme: A Year of Conscious Living https://courses.theadultchair.com/offers/U6FHGTjV/checkout Other Adult Chair® Podcasts on Boundaries https://theadultchair.com/?s=boundaries&pageName=default P&G Hair Food https://hairfood.com/ Or find on Amazon or Target.com MORE ADULT CHAIR The Adult Chair® Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair® Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair® Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification TAC Circles® https://theadultchair.com/taccircles/ STAY CONNECTED Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfantCo/ The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant
In this episode, Coach Ellen Melon does a deep dive on all-things boundaries — Her own experience with boundaries, the lineage of women before her and their lack of boundary-setting, finishing with a somatic boundary-mapping meditation that will help you better identify when a boundary has been crossed. If you are a codependent, people-pleaser, or someone with an anxious attachment style, this episode is for you. Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: Winter Solstice Resentment Release Workshop: https://calendly.com/ellenmelon/winter-solstice Books referenced: We Should All Be Millionaires by Rachel Rodgers: https://www.amazon.com/We-Should-All-Be-Millionaires/dp/1400221625 ____________________ Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator, Ellen Melon can be found: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com
Terri is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship expert, business owner, and author. Over her long and varied career, she has helped her clients repair disordered, or in some cases, nonexistent boundaries. It can be intimidating to create limits and let go of relationships that no longer serve us, or as Terri calls them, historical handcuffs. In today's episode, we discuss sustainable ways to empower yourself through boundaries. We also talk about the benefits of having boundaries, how to slowly add them into your life, and ways to shift your mindset around codependent relationships. Terri also shares details of her new book Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free, and how her Boundary Bootcamp inspired her to put her findings in writing. IN THIS EPISODE, WE TALK ABOUT: How Terri transitioned from the entertainment industry to psychotherapy Themes and patterns that Terri sees in her patients struggling with boundary issues Coping with the fear surrounding setting boundaries The relationship between codependency and boundaries How to stop saying ‘yes' to everything (especially when you want to say ‘no') The first steps to creating a proactive boundary success plan RESOURCES Go to boundaryboss.me/happy for a free gift for listeners! Discover your boundary style at www.boundaryquiz.com. ENTER TO WIN OUR $2,800 HOLIDAY SWEEPSTAKES! Thanks Liquid IV. To save 25% on your order, go to liquidiv.com and use the promo code HAPPY. Thanks to Indeed for supporting Earn Your Happy. Go to indeed.com/happy for a $75 sponsored job credit to upgrade your job post. Text PODCAST to 310-496-8363 for updates and a chance to be featured on the show! CONNECT WITH TERRI Order her book, Boundary Boss, here: https://boundarybossbook.com Instagram: @terricole Website: terricole.com CONNECT WITH LORI Instagram: @loriharder Lite Pink: @drinklitepink Earn Your Happy: @earnyourhappy Girlfriends & Business: @girlfriendsandbusiness Listen to Girlfriends & Business
En este episodio muy especial de Songmess nos sentamos con una de las bandas de rock que más ruido está haciendo en la República Dominicana: Solo Fernández! Gian Rojas y Ricardo Montilla (shout out a Freddy Nuñez, tercer miembro de la banda) nos cuentan acerca del nacimiento de la banda en un jam de marquesina, de cómo el nuevo rock Dominicano está encontrando un fanbase fuertísimo dentro y fuera de la isla, cambios en el lineup de la banda, y una primera mirada a su próximo material discográfico. Solo Fernández son de los talentos más prometedores en el indie Dominicano actual así que este episodio es imprescindible para conocer las nuevas tendencias emergiendo en el pop-rock caribeño. Denle play! Playlist: Solo Fernández, Giorgio Siladi + Seye, Boundary, Martox y NIKÓLA. Solo Fernández Web: https://www.solofernandez.com/ Solo Fernández Bandcamp: https://solofernandez.bandcamp.com/ Solo Fernández Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/0bvP91QlkYvAFP71Cw6PkM?si=dbJUOi89QfSYq2doGr9_4g Solo Fernández YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/SoloFern%C3%A1ndez Solo Fernández Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/solo.fernandez/?hl=en Solo Fernández Twitter: https://twitter.com/SoloFernandez Solo Fernández Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SoloFernandezRD Richard Villegas Instagram: www.instagram.com/rixinyc/?hl=en Songmess Instagram: www.instagram.com/songmess/?hl=es-la Songmess Facebook: www.facebook.com/songmess/?ref=settings Songmess Twitter: twitter.com/songmessmusic Songmess Merch: via DM #BOPS Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2sdavi01h3AA5531D4fhGB?si=1b13e73752104b47 Subscribe to Songmess on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Google Play or SoundCloud, find us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Reading from my new book, Fragrance After Rain. A passage that begins, "Your boundary need not always be an angry electric fence..." Fragrance After Rain is available online at booksellers worldwide, in both hardcover and softcover. You can be a precious part of our book launch by posting your copy on Instagram, tagging #jaiyajohn, encouraging others to purchase, posting readings of your favorite passages, and by sharing online book reviews. My whole heart cries Grateful. jaiyajohn.com. Books online everywhere... Support the show (https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/jaiyajohn)
In this weeks episode, Amy shares a personal story about her ever-evolving boundaries, how to commit to new ones when you've grown and what happens when you doubt, compare or question the boundaries those around you set in similar situations.
As coaches and healers, we value transparency and authenticity. We don't want to pretend that our lives are perfect and we have it "together" all the time. We want our audience (and potential clients) to perceive us as genuine human beings who can relate to their struggles. Most of us think that sharing our own experiences and struggles online can be beneficial for our business and that being vulnerable online will make people trust us more. We aim for our audience to see us as warm, sensitive people who can understand their own problems. And yes, if we share these kinds of things in a healthy way, this authenticity can help us grow. But sometimes being vulnerable in our online communities can cost us dearly. We are actually walking on a very fine line when we want to post in a way that is authentic and transparent because at the same time, we don't want to instill a fear that we can't handle the opportunity to work with someone. Sharing the emotions and feelings we struggle with at the moment can create a huge amount of resonance among our audience and it opens up the gateways to have empathic connections with people who are also in a bad place. But this is certainly not a good strategy marketing-wise. Letting our audience know that we are not in a good place at this moment can lead to them feeling like we might not be able to handle their struggles right now. They may not want to bother us with their problems and therefore they are unlikely to sign up for our coaching programs, our online courses, etc. So, how do we walk this fine line of being authentic and still inspire people to work with us? How can we still be vulnerable in a way that BUILDS trust and adds to our bottom line? How can we stay in INTEGRITY while making a living out of helping other people become the best version of themselves? In this week's episode, Lola answers all these questions and much more. She dives deep into why being authentic online can sometimes end up costing us sales in our business and what are the filters we can use when we are thinking about what to share online. More than that, she shares some effective strategies to navigate authenticity, transparency and vulnerability the right way on social media. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Got trouble saying no? Do you ever feel like you don't have enough space to love and express yourself? Then, you need to consider your personal boundaries. In this episode, Dr. Stephanie and Terri Cole discuss the power of boundaries, why we need them, and the ultimate blueprint to negotiate your boundaries in a healthy way. They emphasize the difference between a dialogue and a debate, how to get better at saying no, and ways to identify codependence in your relationships and move towards a healthier dynamic. We'd like to thank our sponsors, Athletic Greens - redeem an exclusive offer here: athleticgreens.com/stephanieLMNT Electrolytes - A FREE 7-flavour sample pack! - https://www.drinklmnt.com/DrEstimaOrion Red Light Therapy - get 10% off your order with Promo Code “STEPHANIE10” https://www.orionrlt.ca/?ref=StephanieLumen - get $25 off your order with Promo Code “DRSTEPHANIE25” https://www.lumen.me/?fid=1799Ancestral Supplements - Use Promo Code “ASA10” for 10% off any purchase https://shop.ancestralsupplements.com/discount/Tribe10?rfsn=5900205.652074&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=5900205.652074PRIMEADINE - get 10% Off your Order with Promo Code “DRSTEPHANIE10” - https://oxfordhealthspan.com/products/best-spermidine-supplement Boundaries Test - www.boundarietest.comBonus For Betty's - www.boundaryboss.me/better Connect With Terri -www.terricole.comBoundarybossbook.comReal Love Revolution with Terri ColeThe Terri Cole Show Episode Overview: 0:00 Welcoming Terri1:45 Terri's Origin Story 6:30 Boundaries Take Practice9:09 What Are Boundaries? 10:44 Different Types Of Boundaries 15:00 Not Personalizing Boundaries & Preferences 17:04 Different Types Of Boundaries Cont. 24:25 Dialogue Vs. Debate 25:34 The Boundary Blueprint 32:55 Negotiating To Get Your Own Needs Met 40:30 How To Begin To Cultivate A Relationship With Ourselves 46:57 How To Get Better At Saying No53:47 Codependency 1:01:00 How To We Allow Others Fail 1:07:22 Codependency With Children Get yourself a copy of my best-selling book, The Betty Body - https://bettybodybook.comJoin the Hello Betty Community here - https://hellobetty.club/membership/
This week's podcast is with Emily Bonsant as she covers stories over the past month from both the Bonners Ferry Herald and the Bonner County Daily Bee. She covers stories that have already been printed and tidbits that did not make it in the articles.
Sunday Night Compline for Advent Season, 2021 (posted November 28th, 2021). Deus in Adjutorium – "O God come to my assistance" Confiteor (Novus Ordo solemn tone) Hymn: "Te Lucis Ante Terminum" (In Avvento) St. Ambrose of Milan, "To You at Daylight's Boundary," tr. by John Rose and Sing the Hours ©2021 Psalm 91 Reading: Revelations 22:4-5 Responsory: Into your hands, Lord, I commend my spirit. (Advent tone from The Office of Compline, Weber, page 9) Canticle of Simeon: Luke 2:29-32 Concluding Prayer Benediction Alma Redemptoris Mater, Advent antiphon, Bl. Hermann Contractus 11th century English: “Kind one, the Ransomer’s Mother,” tr. by John Rose and Sing the Hours ©2021 The Liturgy of the Hours (Four Volumes), ©1974, International Commission on English in the Liturgy Corporation. All rights reserved. Readings and Old and New Testament Canticles (except the Gospel Canticles) are from the New American Bible © 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Washington, D.C.
No Boundary by Ken Wilber is a straightforward and accessible study of personal development and human consciousness, as seen through the lens of Eastern and Western therapeutic traditions. What is an identity? How many different levels to it are there? What is "self"? Where is it? Where and why do we draw boundaries of separation? Are they real and do they even exist? Eastern and Western Approaches to Personal Growth "No Boundary" by Ken Wilber - Book Review Book of the Week - BOTW - Season 4 Book 45 Buy the book on Amazon https://amzn.to/3oQuANS GET IT. READ :) #noboundary #identity #consciousness FIND OUT which HUMAN NEED is driving all of your behavior http://6-human-needs.sfwalker.com/ Human Needs Psychology + Emotional Intelligence + Universal Laws of Nature = MASTER OF LIFE AWARENESS https://www.sfwalker.com/master-life-awareness --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sfwalker/message
Terri Cole worked as a talent agent for actors and supermodels. She was your typical Type A overachiever with zero balance and no internal peace. Her ambition and fearless attitude fanned the “must get to the top” flames as she zipped across the country from Los Angeles to New York City fueled by caffeine, nicotine, and adrenalin. Her mission now is teaching people how to attract and sustain healthy, vibrant, Real Love into their lives and how to establish and maintain effective boundaries with ease and grace.
In this episode I interview Chany Rosengarten who helps women get to a place in their marriage where they feel safe, connected, and happy. She's also an author, having written hundreds of articles, and most recently wrote the self-help book "The Boundary is You". Chany used the skills she outlines in today's episode to turn her own relationship around. She works with the woman who says, "I'm in pain and I want better. If I'm going to be here in this relationship it has to be different, because this isn't working. And I'm willing to work on myself." Here's what we discuss: - How Chany got into this work - Where she knows her clients will be in 6-10 weeks - What some of the changes are that Chany sees in her clients - The steps of Chany's simple method she uses to help her clients - What happened when Chany put her marriage on the backburner and instead chose to take care of herself - Why this applies to all women whether they are married or not Contact Chany at email@example.com. -- Join an Embodied Dance session at renareiser.com/dance. Your first class is free. This week's theme is Self-love, inspired by this episode.
Morning Mantra: "There is always a message in the way a person treats you. Just listen."We teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves, and by how much we let them get away with.If you don't honor, respect and enforce your boundaries, no one else will.Stop allowing people into your life who are disrespectful, cruel, demanding, or dishonest.They are not happy with themselves. Don't take on their personal struggles, send them on with peace.#BeABoundarySetter #BeHappy #BeHorsey #BeHippie #HorseHippie #MorningMantra #inspirationalQuotes #MorningMotivation #Equestrian #HorseLover #QuotesToInspire #HorseHippieBrand #HorseHippieBoutique #madebywomen #fairtrade #handcraftedjewelry #wherebohomeetsequestrian #boho #bohostyle #bohemianstyle #hippie #hippiestyle #hippievibes #hippiegirl #horsehippie #equestrian #equestrianstyle #horsegirl #horselover #horsesofinstagram
This week my client Lana is joining me to tell us about the FIRST real boundary she ever set in her relationship. Boundaries are a personal choice - different for everyone. That's why this will be an ongoing series so you can hear from different people what their first boundary was, what was difficult, what was surprising about it, and how they felt after finally being successful with boundaries!For more information and full show notes, including the link to sign up to work with me before the end of 2021, visit karilynivers.com/podcast/s2e9.
We are approaching a time when a good amount of people are spending extra time with friends and family. This is also a time when a good amount of people are spending more money than usual, over extending themselves and tapping out on their energy, stressed out trying to please everyone, and not having healthy boundaries in place or respected.It doesn't have to be that way! I could talk for hours about this topic, but just give me 20 minutes to give you a few helpful tips that may help you have more fun and loving memories this Holiday Season, less stress and not being a part of unhealthy arguments or conversations. Plus, you get to laugh along with me a few times in this episode! Laughter is FREE and Healing!!!!Want to connect with me?Email: DeniseMarshRAW@yahoo.comFB: Denise Marsh (Sconiers)IG: DeniseMarsh_To stay in touch with all of the RAWness, retreats and helpful life chats sign up for my FREE Newsletter by clicking the link below, and check out my website! DeniseMarsh.nethttps://mailchi.mp/33a110410fa7/sign-up-for-the-weekly-raw-newsletter
In this week's podcast episode, we have the amazing Shala Nicely, author of Is Fred in the refrigerator? and Everyday Mindfulness for OCD. In this episode, we talked about people-pleasing and how people-pleasing comes from a place of shame, anxiety, and fear of judgment from others. Kimberley and Shala share their own experiences with people-pleasing and how it created more shame, more anxiety, and more distress. In This Episode: The definition of people-pleasing How it is common for people who have OCD and Anxiety disorders. How people-pleasing impacts people's self-esteem and their wellbeing. How people-pleasing anxiety keeps us stuck. How to manage people-pleasing in daily life. How self-compassion can help to manage people-pleasing. Links To Things I Talk About: Shala's Website shalanicely.com Shala's Book “Is Fred In the Refrigerator?” ERP School: https://www.cbtschool.com/erp-school-lp Episode Sponsor: This episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit is brought to you by CBTschool.com. CBTschool.com is a psychoeducation platform that provides courses and other online resources for people with anxiety, OCD, and Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors. Go to cbtschool.com to learn more. Spread the love! Everyone needs tools for anxiety... If you like Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast, visit YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT PODCAST to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like Your Anxiety Toolkit, I'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two). Episode Transcription This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 211. Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit. I'm your host, Kimberley Quinlan. This podcast is fueled by three main goals. The first goal is to provide you with some extra tools to help you manage your anxiety. Second goal, to inspire you. Anxiety doesn't get to decide how you live your life. And number three, and I leave the best for last, is to provide you with one big, fat virtual hug, because experiencing anxiety ain't easy. If that sounds good to you, let's go. Welcome back, everybody. This is an episode I am so excited to share with you. Maybe actually “excited” isn't the word. I feel that this is such an important conversation. Today we have my amazing friend and someone I look up to and I consider a mentor, the amazing Shala Nicely. She's been on the podcast before. Everybody loves her, as do I. And interestingly that I say that because today we are talking about people-pleasing—the act of getting people to like you. Shala is very easy to love, but we are talking about how invasive people-pleasing can become, how problematic it can become, our own personal experience with people-pleasing, and what we have done and are continuing to do to manage people-pleasing behaviors. It is such a wonderful, deep, comprehensive conversation, so I cannot wait to share that with you in just a few minutes. Before we do that, I would like to first, of course, share with you the “I did a hard thing” for the week. This is from Jack, and I'm so excited because Jack said: “I haven't been able to drive on the highway since I had a severe panic attack a couple of months ago. I have felt trapped and it has put a strain on my life. I recently drove on the highway for an hour by myself. I felt anxious during it, but I was able to calm myself down. It was a huge step for me.” Amazing work, Jack. This is such a hard thing and you totally did it. This is so inspiring. You got through it. You actually stand your fear right in the face. So cool. Just proof that it is always a beautiful day to do hard things. Let's move over to the review of the week. This is from YFWWFH, and this review said: “Life-changing in a meaningful way. I found Kimberley's podcast through another psychology podcast I've been listening to where she was a guest. I started listening to hers and was so happy. I found it. The insight this podcast offers and the expertise she shares are incredible and truly make a difference in the way you think about things and feel when struggling with some of the topics talked about. I truly love this podcast and the effect that it has.” Yay, that brings me such joy. Thank you so much for sharing that review. You can leave your reviews on iTunes. Please go over to iTunes to leave a review. The more reviews you leave, the more people we can reach, which means the more people I can help with this free resource. That being said, let's move over to the show, such an important interview. I am so excited and I'm so curious to see what comes up for you as you listen. I hope it's helpful. I hope it gives you food for thought. I hope it gives you direction. And I just can't wait to share it with you. So let's go straight to the episode. I will see you guys next week. Have a wonderful day. It is a beautiful day to do hard things. Kimberley: Okay. So, you guys know that I love Shala Nicely, and today I have the one and only Shala Nicely talking with us about people-pleasing. And this whole conversation came organically out of conversations we've had recently. So, welcome, Shala. Shala: Thank you, Kimberley. And as you know, the love is mutual. So thank you for [04:42 inaudible] me again. Kimberley: Okay. I have so many questions and this is probably the most relevant topic to me in my stage of my recovery. You can share as much as you want to share, but I'm so grateful that we're talking about people-pleasing, because I feel like it runs rampant for those who have anxiety. Would you agree? Shala: Absolutely. Kimberley: How would you define people-pleasing? Shala: People-pleasing to me is putting your own needs in the backseat so that you can do things that you think will make others happy or like you. You're not quite sure about that. You're mind-reading, you are estimating what other people might want or what society might want. I think people-pleasing is not just, “I'm pleasing the individual person.” It could be, “I'm pleasing a culture, a society, a family.” But I think it's all about putting your own needs in the backseat and doing what you think other people want in order to make them happy, but really it's in order to reduce your own anxiety. Kimberley: Right. So, there's so much there you said that I want to pull apart. So, you emphasized “You think,” and I think there is a major concept there I want you to share. We want to please people. Of course, we want to please people. We like seeing smiley, happy faces. I don't like seeing sad faces and angry faces. But so much of people-pleasing is based on what in our minds we think they want. Can you share your thoughts on that? Shala: If you look at people-pleasing behavior–I'll take me as an example–obviously, it starts with an intrusive thought, “What if they don't like me? I've not done well enough. They're going to think less of me, drop me,” et cetera, et etcetera. So, I think it starts with some sort of intrusive thought like that. And from there, it goes into how to answer that what-if. And the what-if is made up. We don't actually know it's a real problem. It's an intrusive thought that has come in. It may or may not be a problem. And so, if we engage in this, we're trying to figure out, “Well, how can I make sure that what-if doesn't happen?” And so, you're dealing with a really made up situation. And so, there's really no data there for you to know what to do. And so you're guessing. “Gosh, what if this person isn't getting back to me because I did something wrong and they don't like me? And I need to do something to show them how much I like them so that they'll change their mind about me.” The whole thing is based on the premise that what if this person doesn't like me, which is probably 99% of the time not even a premise. So, we're guessing all over the place in both guessing there's a problem we have to solve. And then guessing how to solve that because we don't really know if there are problems. So we have to whack it together, you might say. Kimberley: Right. I remember early in my marriage, me getting my knickers in a knot over something, and my husband saying, “What's happening?” And I'm like, “Well, you want me to do such and such this way?” And he was like, “I've never said that. I've never even thought that. What made you think that I would want you to be that way?” And I had created this whole story in my head. For me, that's a lot of how people-pleasing plays out, is I come up with a story about what they must want me to be, and then I assume I have to follow that. How does it play out for you? Shala: I think “story” is the right word to use there. You create this whole story in a scenario. It's got main characters and a plot and the ending is always horrible, and it becomes very believable in your mind. The thing is it's in your mind. We've made it all up. But those stories convey very powerful emotions and then we're acting to somehow get rid of those emotions, which were created by the story that we made up in the first place. Kimberley: Right. And that was the second thing that you said that I think is so compelling, is for me in my life goal of reducing people-pleasing behaviors, I will be on this journey for the rest of my life. I'm pretty confident of it. It's a matter that I have to learn how to sit with the feeling instead of just going into people-pleasing to remove that feeling. Is that how you would explain it for yourself as well? Shala: Yes. And I will echo your sentiments. I will be right alongside you on this journey of trying not to people-please the rest of my life. And I think it's sitting with some uncomfortable emotions and it's really sitting with the uncertainty of “we don't know” what other people think. And it's easy, especially if you have anxiety to assume the negative because that feels like some sort of certainty. “Oh, they must not like me.” That's actually sometimes a more comfortable thought than “I don't know,” fit with “I just don't know.” Kimberley: Right. Because when we tell ourselves “They mustn't like us,” at least then we don't have a place to work from. We can gain control back. Whereas if we are not certain, that's a really uncomfortable place. I know as we were talking, do you think this shows up the same for folks with OCD as it does for folks who don't have OCD? Do you think there's a difference or do you feel like it's the same? Shala: That's a good question. I might only be able to offer a biased answer because I have OCD and I work with people with OCD. So, that's going to be the frame of reference that I'm coming from most often. I think that with OCD, it could come from a foundational place of really thinking that you're not worth very much. I think that comes a lot because OCD spends its days if you're untreated, yelling at you and telling you are horrible and nitpicking every little thing that you do wrong. And it's like living with an abusive person when you have untreated OCD, especially when it goes on for years and years, which happens to so many of us with OCD. And if you hear that for however long–months, years, whatever–you start to believe it. And then you don't think you are worth pleasing, and you almost feel like, “Gosh, maybe if I made people around me happy, maybe if I got this positive feedback from other people that they think I'm worthwhile, then somehow maybe all this in my head will stop.” I think people-pleasing for people with OCD can come from that place where they just have internalized years of abuse by their own mind that they feel like they can't escape until they find exposure and response prevention and work through all that. But even after that, they can still have this foundational belief that “I'm just not worth anything.” And that can drive a lot of people-pleasing behaviors that can linger even after somebody's gone through what would be considered a successful course in ERP. Kimberley: Yeah. That's really interesting. As you were talking, I was comparing and contrasting my eating disorder recovery. I was thinking about this this morning. My eating disorder didn't actually start with the wish to be thin. It started with pleasing other people. So, my body was changing and I was getting compliments for that. And then the compliments felt so good. It became like something I just wanted to keep getting, almost compulsively keep getting. And so then, it became, “How can I get more?” People-pleasing, people-pleasing. “Oh, they liked this body. Well, I'll try and get that body. Oh, they complimented me on how healthy my food was. Okay, I'll do that more in front of them.” So, it's interesting to compare and contrast. People-pleasing was the center point of my eating disorder and the starting point of my eating disorder. So, that's really interesting. You talked about people-pleasing behaviors. What do you think that is for you? What would that look like? Shala: People-pleasing behaviors can be big or small. It could be something like a friend calls you to go out to dinner. You don't really want to go out to dinner. You really want to sit in and watch your latest Netflix binge show, but you feel like you can't say no. So you go out to dinner. That could be something on the smaller end, I think. Then there's on the really large scale, which I've done, and I talk about in more detail in my memoirs, Is Fred in the Refrigerator? about my journey with OCD, which is not breaking up with somebody because you're afraid to hurt their feelings. And you can take that all the way down the aisle, which I did. And so, I think that people-pleasing behaviors really can run the gamut from small seemingly innocuous things. “Oh, it's just an evening,” to life-changing decisions about your partner, about how you live your life, about where you live, about your work, about how you approach, all of that. And that I think makes people-pleasing sometimes hard to identify because it doesn't fit neatly in a little box. Kimberley: Yeah. That's interesting. And I love the way that you share that. What's interesting for me is that most of my people-pleasing in the past have been saying yes to things that I don't want to do or things I want to do, but I literally don't have time for. So I'm saying yes to everything without really consulting with my schedule and being like, “Can I actually fit that in on that day?” Just saying yes to everything, which I think for me is interesting. A lot of the listeners will remember, is I got so the burnt out and sick, because I'd said yes to everything six months ago. Because six months ago I agreed to all these things, now I'm on the floor, migraines or having nothing because I just said yes to everything. And so, for me, a lot of that, the turnaround has been practicing saying no to plan for the future, looking forward, going, “Will I have time for that? Do I want that? Does that work for me? Is that for my recovery?” How have you as either a clinician or a human started to practice turning the wheel on this problem? Shala: It's hard for me to think how to the answer to that because there are so many ways to approach it and it's a complex problem. And so, I have approached it in a number of ways. The first thing that comes to mind is really boundaries because a lot of this is about setting boundaries to protect your own time and to protect what you want to do. So, that's one of the things that I have really worked on, is becoming clear on what I think is acceptable for me to be doing and what is not acceptable for me to be doing in terms of my own physical and mental health. It's so easy to say yes to things, especially if it's months down the road, “Oh, that'll be fine, I'll have time to do that.” And then you get to, you're like, “Okay, I don't have time to do that.” And then you're wearing yourself out and all of that. And I think that happens a lot with people-pleasing because again, you're putting your own needs, especially for rest and recovery on the back burner in order to do things that you think will make somebody else happy. And so, I think really working on boundary setting. So I'm coming from a perspective of having OCD and treating OCD. Boundary setting is an exposure. So, it is about creating an uncomfortable situation because it involves saying no. And if you say no, sometimes you're going to disappoint people. And if you're just getting into the process of saying no, and people are expecting that you're going to say yes because you say yes to everything, you can often get some pretty negative feedback. “What do you mean no? You've always said yes.” Kimberley: You're the “yes” girl. Shala: And so then, that feels even more jarring, like, “Oh, see, it's coming true. People don't like me.” And so, that becomes even more anxiety provoking and thus an even better exposure, but even harder. And I think that thinking of it as setting boundaries to protect your own times so that when you do say yes to something, you are there as fully as you can be because you're well-rested in terms of your body and your mind and your health and all of that. When you don't have good boundaries, you end up feeling very resentful because you haven't been able to take care of yourself. And so, in fact, by not setting good boundaries, you can't actually be there for people when they need you because you're too run down. And that is, I think, the big lie about these people-- one of the many big lies about this people-pleasing thing is that, “Well, I got to do all this to make people happy.” Well, in essence, you're not putting your own oxygen mask on first. And so, you can't. Even if there was something you really could do that would really help somebody else, you don't have enough energy to do it. So, I think really realizing that boundaries are the way to not have that resentment, to allow you to be fully there with the things you do want to do with all your heart and energy. And so then, you are actually really achieving your goal because you can really help people, as opposed to saying yes to everything and you're spread so thin, you're not enjoying it, they're not enjoying it, and it's not achieving the goals that you had in mind. Kimberley: Yes. It's so exactly the point. So, boundaries is 100%, I agree. I'll tell you a story. You know this story, but the listeners might not. Once I did a podcast that got some negative feedback and I called you, understandably concerned about getting negative feedback, because I don't like-- I'm one of those humans that don't really love negative feedback. Shala: I'm one of those humans too. Kimberley: I had said to you, this is literally my worst fear. One of my worst fears is being called out and being told where you've made a mistake. What was really interesting for me is going through that and saying, “Okay, but I did, it is what it is. I wouldn't change anything. And here's what I believe.” I came out of that instead of going and apologizing and changing everything. I came out of that actually feeling quite steady in my stand because I had acknowledged like, “Oh, even when things don't go well, I can get through it. I can stand on my two feet. I can get through those,” which is something I hadn't ever really had to practice, is really standing through that. And I thought that that was a really interesting thing for me, is a lot of the reason I think I was people-pleasing was because the story I was telling myself was that I wouldn't be able to handle it if something went wrong, that I wouldn't be able to handle people knowing that I had made a mistake or so forth. But that wasn't true. In fact, all of a sudden it felt actually a bit of freedom for me of like, “Oh, okay. The jig is up. I can chill now.” Have you found that to be true of some people or am I rainbow and unicorn? Shala: I love that because I think it's like what we do with people with social anxiety. They are afraid of going out in public in certain situations and having somebody evaluate them negatively. And one of the things that we do with those exposures is actually, let's go out and create some of these situations that your social anxiety is afraid of. Let's go into a shopping mall in the food court and spill a Coke on the floor while everybody's looking at you. And then process through, what was that like? Well, I just stood there and they came and cleaned it up and everybody went back to their meal and we went on. Huh, okay. That wasn't as bad as I thought it was. And I think that's very akin to what you're saying, is we build this up in our head that if we're rejected, if somebody doesn't like us, if we disappoint somebody, that's going to be catastrophic. And inevitably, it is going to happen unless you isolate yourself in your house, that somebody is not going to like you, somebody is going to give you a bad review, and being able to say, “Yup, that is okay. I don't have any control over that. And I can handle that. That doesn't devalue me as a person because they gave me a bad review or bad feedback or whatever.” Because if we think about what we each do, like I've bought products before that I've written bad reviews for because I didn't like it or it didn't work for me. I think everybody has. And even if you didn't write a review, you thought it in your head. So, all of us have things we like and don't like, and that's okay. What you're talking about is you have those experiences and then you realize, “Wait, that is okay.” And then you feel free, like, “Okay, look at me. I can make mistakes.” You're less compelled. Continue doing this because you're like, “Wait, there's freedom on the other side of this where I don't have to try to be pleasing people all the time.” Kimberley: Right. Or in addition to that was-- and this is true in this example of, I think it was a podcast that I had put out, was people cannot like what I did but still like me in other areas. That blew me away. I think that in my mind it was so black and white. It's like, if they don't like one thing, they're going to knock you out, where it's like no. People can hold space for things they like and things they do like. Shala: That is such important. Kimberley: Right. You also just said something and I want you to speak to it, is some people people-please by going above and beyond, but you also just brought up the idea of some people just don't leave their house. What would that look like, because they're people-pleasers? Shala: Well, I think that is the extreme case of any kind of anxiety-driven disorder, where you're trying to avoid having to be in a situation where others have expectations of you that you feel that you can't meet, and so you narrow your world down to avoid those situations to avoid the anxiety. And I don't think that's just with people-pleasing. That's obviously what agoraphobia is about—people not leaving their homes because they're trying to avoid situations that are going to trigger panic attacks. But I think people with anxiety disorders in general can start making choices to avoid anxiety that end up not allowing them to lead the lives they want to lead or to take care of themselves. Kimberley: Yeah. I mean, I think that's the question for everybody, even for those who are listening, I would say. If you're thinking, “Oh, this doesn't apply to me,” it's always good to look like, “What am I avoiding because of the fear that I'll be disproved?” or someone will give you a bad review and so forth, because I think it shows up there quite often. Shala: Yes. And in fact, there is a really good article—maybe we can put a link in the show notes—that Adam Grant from Wharton Business School wrote in the New York Times about what straight A students get wrong. And I think it goes right to the heart of what we're talking about because he referenced people who are looking for straight A's, which is an institutionalized form of approval, will potentially take easier classes that they can get an A in versus something they really are interested that they might not do as well in. And so, they are not pursuing what's important to them because they're pursuing the A, and therefore head in a direction that maybe isn't the direction that would be best for them to have. Kimberley: Right. And you just hit the nail on the head because so much of recovery from people-pleasing is actually stopping and going, “Do I want this? Does this actually line up with my values? Am I doing it for other people?” I've heard many clients say, “I do what other people tell me to do and what they want because I actually have no idea of what I want.” That's scary in and of itself. Shala: And that is a really tough problem for people with anxiety disorders because when you have an anxiety disorder, you're used to doing what the disorder says and the disorder can really run your life. When you get better from the anxiety disorder, it's easy to keep doing the things that you were doing that didn't necessarily seem compulsive but may have been because they're just part of your life, without ever stopping to step back and say, “Well, do I need to be doing this?” I'll give you a personal example. I live in Atlanta and there's lots to do in Atlanta. I've lived here for a long time. I think I felt a need that I “should” be out and doing things because I live in a big city and there's so much to do and I need to be doing it. And so I'd have this story in my head that I need to be out and visiting attractions, the aquarium, the restaurants. We have this really cool food court called Ponce City Market. While those things are fun and I do enjoy going to them sometimes, it almost felt like I should do this because this is what people do. They're out and about and doing things, almost like I'm pleasing a societal norm, like this is what you do if you live in a big city. Well, COVID actually has really helped me recognize, “You know what, I actually don't need to get up on Saturday morning and pack my schedule full of all sorts of things that I think I should be doing. I can actually just sit in my house and do things that I might want to do.” And so as you know, I've been doing all sorts of things lately just to try stuff out. I'm taking an oil painting class, which still scares me to death. And I'm taking French lessons because I want to learn how to speak French. And I've bought these art magazines because I really like art and I just want to look at it. And I'm just letting myself explore these various things to find out what I do like. And then once I've been through this process and find what really floats my boat, then maybe hey, one weekend I can go to the aquarium because I want to, because it meets some value or need I have and do some painting instead of trying to meet this idea of what I should be doing that's trying to please society and what my role in society should be, which I think is very easy for people with anxiety disorders and OCD to do, is let other people make the rules, the disorder, your family, your spouse, the society in general, as opposed to just sitting back and saying, “What do I really want?” And the answer to that might be, “I don't know.” And instead of rushing out to do something because it feels better to just be doing something than to sit with the uncertainty of “I don't know,” letting yourself sit in that and go, “Well, what can I maybe try to see if I like it?” Kimberley: Right. And I will add to that because you and I have talked quite a bit and I've learnt so many inspiring things from you as I've watched you do this. What was interesting for me is, a part of that for me was choosing things that people don't actually like. Some of the choices I've made–things I want to do with my time or that I've said no to–do disappoint people. They do disappoint people and they might tell you you've disappointed them. And so, for me, it's holding space for that feeling, the shame or the guilt or the sadness or whatever the emotion is, but still choosing to do the thing you wanted to do. It's not one or the other. You don't do things just because you haven't disappointed someone. You can also choose to do something in the face of disappointing other people, right? Shala: Yes. And I think it's inevitable. You're going to disappoint them. Kimberley: It sucks so bad. Shala: Because you're not going to have the same wants and needs as everybody else. And so, it's inevitable that if you start figuring out what you want to do and trying some things out, you can't do all the other things everybody else wants you to do. Kimberley: Yeah. I know. And it's so frustrating to recognize that. But as you've said before, tens of thousands of people could love a product and tens of thousands of people could hate a product. Lots of people will like me and lots of people won't like me or the things that we do or the places we want to go and so forth. I think that's a hard truth to swallow, that we won't please all the people. Shala: Yeah. And I'll tell you a story that I think illustrates that, is I read this book for a small book club that I'm in, and one of the members had suggested it. I just went and grabbed it, bought it. I didn't really read what kind of book it was. And I was loving it. It was really good. It was like this mystery novel. And then we get to the last, I don't know, 20 pages. And it turns into this psychological thriller that honestly scares the pants off me, but it was wrapped up so well. I was just sitting in shock on the floor, reading this thing, like, “Oh my gosh.” It was so good, yet so terrifying. So I got online on Amazon just to look at the book because it had just gone right over my head that this was a thriller, and I don't normally read thrillers. I just wanted to go on and see. And I was expecting, because I loved this thing, to see five-star reviews across Amazon for this book because I thought it was so amazing. And I got on, and the reviews for it were maybe three point something stars. I started reading and some people went, “I hated this. It was horrible.” They hated it as much as I loved it. And that to me was just a singular example of you cannot please everyone. I love this book, other people hate this book. There were lots of people that were in between. And that doesn't say anything about the writer. The writer is a whole complete awesome person, regardless of what any of us think about what she wrote. Kimberley: Right. And she gets to write what she wants to write, and we get to have our opinions. And that's the way the world turns. Shala: And I think recognizing she doesn't have any control over what I think, I might even write a five-star review just for whatever reason and really hate the book. So, even if you get a positive review, you don't actually know that it's true. I think this is all about understanding that it's not about not caring about what people think because that's really hard. It just numbs you out and cuts you off. I think it's about going into the middle. It's not about people-pleasing. It's not about not caring. It's about recognizing you don't have control over any of that and living in that uncertainty. I don't know what people think. I don't have control over what people think. And even if they tell me one thing, that could actually not be what they think at all. And that's okay. Kimberley: Right. Such an amazing point. I'm so glad you brought that up because I actually remember many years ago saying to my husband, “I've decided I don't care what people think.” Well, that lasted about 12 and a half seconds because I deeply care what people think. But it doesn't mean that what they think makes my decisions. And I think that's where the differentiation is. A lot of the people who are listening, there's absolutely no way on this world they could find a way to not care and not want to please people. It's innate in our biology to want to please people. However, it gets to the point where, is it working for you? Are you feeling fulfilled? Are you resentful? These are questions I would ask. Are you fulfilled? Are you resentful? Are you exhausted? What other questions would you maybe ask people to help them differentiate here or to find a way out? Shala: Am I really enjoying this? Do I really want to do this? Why am I doing this? Kimberley: Yeah. What emotion am I trying to avoid? What would I have to feel if I made my own choice? Yeah. There's some questions I would have people to consider. Okay. So, one more question. You make a choice based on what you want. You do or you don't please people. Let's say for the hell of it you dissatisfy somebody. What do you do with that experience? Shala: First, I think you recognize. You go into this, recognizing that is almost certainly going to happen. There are very few certainties in life. That's probably one of [35:11 inaudible]. Kimberley: You will disappoint people. Shala: Yeah. You're going to disappoint people. And then I think really going to a place of self-compassion. And I'm going to turn it back over to you because you just published an amazing, amazing book that I cannot recommend enough about self-compassion in the treatment of OCD with exposure and response prevention. And I'd love to hear what you think about how you could incorporate self-compassion into this, especially when you do disappoint somebody because I think that's so important. Kimberley: Yeah, no, I love that you swing at my way. I think the first thing is to recognize that one of the core components of self-compassion is common humanity, which is recognizing that we're all in this together, that I'm just a human being. And human beings aren't ever going to be perfect. Only in our minds that we create the story that we were going to be. So, a lot of self-compassion is that common humanity of, I am a human, humans make mistakes, humans get to do what they need to do and want to do and that we're not here to please people, and that our worth is not dependent on people enjoying and agreeing with us. And I think that's a huge reason that my people, like you've said, people-please is they're constantly trying to prove to themselves their worth. So, I would recognize first the common humanity. And then the other piece is it hurts when you disappoint someone. And so, I think it's being tender with whatever emotion that shows up—sadness, loss, anger, frustration, fear. A lot of it is fear of abandonment. So I would really tend to those emotions gently and talk to them gently like, “Okay, I notice sadness is here. It makes complete sense that I'm feeling sad. How can I tend to you without pushing you away?” Again, I think sometimes-- I've seen this a lot in my daughter's school. I've seen this sometimes, the school has said, “When you're feeling bad about yourself, just tell yourself how good you are.” And I'm like, that's really positive, but it actually doesn't tend to their pain at all. It skips over it and makes it positive. So I think a big piece of this is to just hold tender your discomfort and find support in like-minded people who want what you want and who are willing to show up. You and I have said before the Brené Brown quote like, “Only take advice from people who are in the ring with you.” And that has been huge for me, is finding support from people who are doing scary things alongside me. Do you have any thoughts? Shala: Yeah. I think the more that you do this, the more that you're willing to take care of yourself, because I really do think working on people-pleasing is learning how to take care of you. And that's so important. And the more that you will do that and go through these very hard exercises of saying no and disappointing people, and then compassionately holding yourself and saying, “It's okay,” like using the common humanity, recognizing we're all in this together. Everybody feels like this sometimes. I think the more you do it, then you start to disconnect your worth from other people's views. And that is where a whole new level of freedom is available to us. I think that sometimes people-pleasing, because it can be so subtle, isn't necessarily addressed directly in therapy for anxiety disorder. Sometimes it is when it's really over. But a lot of times it's not, and that's not the fault of the therapist or the client or anything. It's just, it's so subtle. We don't even realize we're doing it. And so, we finish therapy for anxiety disorders, we feel a lot better, but there's still a lot of this “should” and “have to,” societal expectations or expectations of other people, which we feel we're driving our life and we don't have any control over. And really working on this allows you to recognize that you are a whole good, wonderful person on your own, whether or not other people are pleased with you or not. But that takes a lot of consistent work, big and small, before you can start to see that your worth and other people's thoughts about you are two separate things that aren't connected. Kimberley: Right. Oh, I'm going to leave it there, because that's the mic drop right there. I love it. Shala, thank you for coming on and talking about this. I really wanted your input on this instead of it just being a podcast of mine. So, thank you. I love your thoughts on this. Where can people hear more about you, your book? Tell us all the things. Shala: Sure. So, my website is shalanicely.com. So, anyone can go there, and I have three different blogs that I write, all sorts of information about how to manage uncertainty and OCD because that's my specialty. My memoir, Is Fred in the Refrigerator?: Taming OCD and Reclaiming My Life, in that I talk a lot about how I dealt with people-pleasing. And in fact, the chapter called Shoulders Back, which is one of the techniques—I said there were many that I used for people-pleasing, that's one of the techniques that I use—that chapter talks about my journey in learning about how to work through some of this by really putting your shoulders back and acting like all that stuff you hear in your head is relevant. So, that could be a resource for people as well. Everyday Mindfulness for OCD, which I co-wrote with Jon Hershfield, that also has some information on self-compassion as well if people want to learn about writing self-compassion statements. But again, I would also send people to your amazing brand new workbook, which is the only workbook that I know of, the only book that I know of, that talks about doing ERP in a self-compassionate way. So, it's completely integrated together. And I think that is so important for building a foundation for a good OCD recovery. So, I would definitely send people your way. Kimberley: Thank you, friend. Shala: You're welcome. Kimberley: Well, there are so many parts of the people-pleasing and the tools in your book as well. I know we've talked about that and it's one of my favorite books of all time. So, definitely for listeners, go and check that out. I am so grateful that you came on. Shala: Well, thank you. I'm just so honored to be here. It's always so much fun to talk with you about these topics. So, thank you. Kimberley: So important. Thank you so much, and I just am so grateful for you. ----- Please note that this podcast or any other resources from cbtschool.com should not replace professional mental health care. If you feel you would benefit, please reach out to a provider in your area. Have a wonderful day and thank you for supporting cbtschool.com.
In this episode, I talk to author and podcast host, Nora McInerny, about the many aspects of grief. Nora shares the loss of her father, husband and pregnancy, and how she handled those obstacles to reach her current career, life, and family. We discuss the automated response to the question “how are you?” and ways to best support those who are grieving. We talk about boundary-setting on our platforms and the importance of acknowledging and accepting our emotions, even when they are conflicting. Key Takeaway / Points: The many aspects of grief The automated response to the question “how are you?” Boundary-setting in your personal and professional life Acknowledging and accepting our emotions, even when they are conflicting Follow Nora McInerny: Instagram: @noraborealis Podcast: Terrible, Thanks for Asking Website: noraborealis.com Follow me: Instagram: @freckledfoodie Website: freckledfoodie.com TikTok: freckledfoodie Twitter: @freckledfoodie Youtube: Cameron Rogers / Freckled Foodie Pinterest: Freckled Foodie This episode was edited by Tim Flanzbaum
Aucklanders will today learn when they will be able to leave the super city and reunite with family and friends across the country. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern will announce the date this afternoon, but the hard boundary will likely be gone by the middle of December. People will finally be able to access one of the keys to leave the city - vaccination certificates - later this morning.
Q & A part two! This week on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen continue to answer your questions, this time about setting boundaries in relationships and at work. Em and Jen give their insight about guilt trips and the functions behind them, highly critical parents, how to continue to set boundaries when receiving pushback, what to do when a loved one is in a bad relationship, anxiety regarding leaving a job, tying worth to our career path, and so much more! If you want to watch ShrinkChicks episodes on YouTube, you can find our channel here! https://youtube.com/channel/UCrxuhDqoL4ML3UE8b2J2BBg Thanks to this week's sponsors for supporting ShrinkChicks! We have these exclusive offers for our listeners: Dipsea: Sign up for an extended 30 day FREE trial when you go to dipseastories.com/shrink ZocDoc: Go to zocdoc.com/shrinks and download the ZocDoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Many are available as soon as today!
Bunny Michael takes listeners' questions... How do I keep peace and act with unconditional love toward people I have conflict with, or am vulnerable to?I'm grieving the sudden loss of a friend, and I'm not sure I'm doing it right. How do I decide between pursuing an art therapy degree and pursuing my career as an artist? And more.Join Bunny Michael's Higher Self Community Discord CLICK HERETO JOIN OUR PATREON CLICK HERE To make a one time donation CLICK HEREIf you want to send in a question or comment for a future episode, record a voice memo and email it to firstname.lastname@example.org. Or you can leave us a voice mail at 740-481-1216.JOIN BUNNY'S MAILING LIST: www.bunnymichael.com*** Higher Self SWEATSHIRTS, T SHIRTS, TOTE BAGS, MERCH available here ****Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/xohigherself. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
This is Coronavirus 411, the latest COVID-19 info and new hotspots for October 29th, 2021. As regular listeners probably know, rates of cases, hospitalizations and deaths have gone down significantly in the US since Delta peaked in September. But now health experts have a problem. Complacency and the believe it's all over. Winter is coming, many kids still can't get vaccinated, and the holidays mean lots of gatherings. Plus, many believe vaccination rates need be around 80-85% of adults – and we're a long way from that. Researchers think a cheap, generic anti-depressant could reduce the risk of severe COVID by almost one third in people at high risk. The drug is fluvoxamine, sold under the brand name Luvox. It's mostly used to treat obsessive compulsive disorder and depression, but it also lowers inflammatory molecules called cytokines that can be triggered by an infection. It may also reduce blood platelets, which could help with the blood clotting often seen in COVID. A 10-day course costs about four bucks. Approve all the vaccines for kids you want, parents still have to be willing to give it to them and a new Kaiser Family Foundation survey shows most aren't. At least not right away. Only 27% say they'll vaccinate their kids as soon as possible. The military has been good at following orders. With the vaccination deadline still ahead for all branches, more than 90% of active-duty troops have gotten at least one dose. For the Navy the rate is more than 99%. If service members refuse, commanders have the options of administrative paperwork, nonjudicial punishment, or court-martial. Yet another side-crisis that's come out of the pandemic…we've forgotten how to drive. The government reports the number of U.S. traffic deaths in the first six months of 2021 was the highest since 2006. 20,160 people, which is 18.4% higher than the first half of last year. Behavioral research from March through June also showed speeding and not wearing seat belts is higher than pre-pandemic days. In the United States cases were down 19%, deaths are down 15%, and hospitalizations are down 19% over 14 days. The 7-day average of new cases has been trending down since September 13. There are 9,355,413 active cases in the United States. With not all states reporting daily numbers, the five states with the greatest increase in hospitalizations per capita: New Hampshire 50%, Maine 31%, Vermont 27%, and Alaska and Colorado 18%. The top 10 counties with the highest number of recent cases per capita according to The New York Times: Nome Census Area, AK. Boundary, ID. Goshen, WY. Humboldt, NV. Carbon, WY. Fergus, MT. Stark, ND. Carbon, UT. Grant, NM. And Emery, UT. There have been at least 743,358 deaths in the U.S. recorded as Covid-related. The top 3 vaccinating states by percentage of population that's been fully vaccinated: Vermont at 71%, Rhode Island at 70.6%, and Connecticut at 70.5%. The bottom 3 vaccinating states are West Virginia unchanged at 41%, Idaho at 43.6%, and Wyoming at 43.7%. The percentage of the U.S. that's been fully vaccinated is 57.5%. The five countries with the largest 24-hour increase in the number of fully vaccinated people; Taiwan up 4%, Brazil 2%, and Thailand, South America, and Indonesia 1%. Globally, cases were up 4% and deaths were up 2% over 14 days, with the 7-day average trending up since October 15. There are 18,117,423 active cases around the world. The five countries with the most new cases: The United States 78,460. Russia 40,096. The U.K. 39,482. Germany 26,610. And Ukraine 26,071. There have been at least 4,979,902 deaths reported as Covid-related worldwide. For the latest updates, subscribe for free to Coronavirus 411 on your podcast app or ask your smart speaker to play the... See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Debt, Relationships, Career, Investing As heard on this episode: Christian Healthcare Ministries: https://bit.ly/2XBZfE3 Grand Canyon University: gcu.edu/myoffer Sign up for a FREE trial of Ramsey+ TODAY: https://bit.ly/3rZTUAx Tools to get you started: Debt Calculator: https://bit.ly/2Q64HME Insurance Coverage Checkup: https://bit.ly/3sXwUn5 Complete Guide to Budgeting: https://bit.ly/3utmVXi Check out more Ramsey Network podcasts: https://bit.ly/3fHhbVE
This is Coronavirus 411, the latest COVID-19 info and new hotspots for October 28th, 2021. A judge in NY said no, she will not pause a vaccine mandate that starts Friday for city employees. A police union had requested a temporary restraining order. She did however order city officials to appear in court Nov. 12 to defend the vaccine requirement against a union lawsuit. As of Tuesday, 73% of police department personnel had gotten at least one dose, and the fire department's vaccination rate was 68% as of Wednesday. Merck said it's okay with them if other drug makers make its COVID-19 pill. It's the first pill that's been shown to treat the condition. The ideas is to help millions of people in poorer countries get access to the drug. And Merck will get no royalties for as long as the World Health Organization says COVID-19 is a global emergency. The number of new cases there is still pretty bad, but the German parliament isn't going to extend the “epidemic situation of national scope” status when it expires next month. It will keep certain measures like masking in public places. Leading members said despite the new cases, the situation is different now that about two-thirds of the population has been vaccinated. For some it appears there's just no such thing as too much vaccine. The CDC updated its guidance for numerous immunocompromised people, saying they can get a booster dose at least six months after their primary vaccinations, which for some would be their fourth shot. In August, the CDC recommended the immunocompromised who got the Pfizer or Moderna vaccine get a third dose, which wasn't considered a booster. As Americans argue over the vaccine because they're so concerned about their health, guess what they're doing more of. Smoking. For the first time in two decades, cigarette sales went up last year during the pandemic. The timing of the increase suggested cigarettes are among the items people stocked up on, fearing shortages. In the United States cases were down 23%, deaths are down 17%, and hospitalizations are down 19% over 14 days. The 7-day average of new cases has been trending down since September 13. There are 9,358,631 active cases in the United States. With not all states reporting daily numbers, the five states with the greatest increase in hospitalizations per capita: New Hampshire 54%, Maine 32%, Vermont 31%, and Alaska and Colorado 20%. The top 10 counties with the highest number of recent cases per capita according to The New York Times: Goshen, WY. Boundary, ID. Nome Census Area, AK. Humboldt, NV. Stark, ND. Fergus, MT. Carbon, WY. Carbon, UT. Bethel Census Area, AK. And Inyo, CA. There have been at least 741,231 deaths in the U.S. recorded as Covid-related. The top 3 vaccinating states by percentage of population that's been fully vaccinated were again not updated by NPR so remain: Vermont at 70.9%, Rhode Island at 70.4%, and Connecticut at 70.3%. The bottom 3 vaccinating states are West Virginia at 41%, Idaho at 43.4%, and Wyoming at 43.5%. The percentage of the U.S. that's been fully vaccinated is 57.4%. The five countries with the largest 24-hour increase in the number of fully vaccinated people; Taiwan up 4%, and New Zealand, Australia, Thailand, and Romania 1%. Globally, cases were down 1% and deaths were down 2% over 14 days, with the 7-day average trending down since October 22. There are 18,021,385 active cases around the world. The five countries with the most new cases: The United States 76,361. The U.K. 43,941. Russia 36,582. Turkey 26,896. And Germany 26,099. There have been at least 4,971,409 deaths reported as Covid-related worldwide. For the latest updates, subscribe for free to Coronavirus 411 on your podcast app or ask your smart speaker to... See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
This is Coronavirus 411, the latest COVID-19 info and new hotspots for October 27th, 2021. As expected, FDA advisors unanimously voted to endorse the Pfizer vaccine for kids five to 11. Federal authorization could come in the next few days. The pediatric version would be equal to a third of an adult dose. The panel said the benefits outweigh the risks that include a rare heart-related side effect seen in teens and young adults. Things continue to look rough in Eastern Europe. The daily number of deaths in Russia hit another high yesterday even as most Russians stayed home from work this week. Ukraine and Bulgaria also reported record daily death tolls. In addition to closures, Russian authorities have strengthened enforcement of mask mandates. Further to the west, the Belgian government has reimposed some restrictions that were relaxed just a few weeks ago as hospitalizations increased 69%. In the U.S., emergency rooms are slammed, but not with COVID patients. A secondary health crisis caused by the pandemic are all the people who put off seeking care for other issues, but who are now coming in even worse off. Many wind up on stretchers lining hallways for hours with plenty of noise and foot traffic going by. Here's a story about at least an attempt to return to normalcy. Louisiana is ending its statewide indoor mask mandate after seeing a sharp decline in new infections. However, the Governor is keeping some masking rules in place for the state's K-12 schools. LSU said it's keeping its indoor mask mandate no matter what the state says, and New Orleans indicated it also may not follow the Governor's lead. A report from the American Psychological Association says stress from the pandemic has people struggling to make even small decisions. Almost a third of adults question even basic day-to-day choices like what to eat or wear. It's especially a problem for parents and Millennials. And there are problems making big decisions too, with 61% saying the pandemic has made them question how they've been living their lives. In the United States cases were down 22%, deaths are down 11%, and hospitalizations are down 19% over 14 days. The 7-day average of new cases has been trending down since September 13. There are 9,362,598 active cases in the United States. With not all states reporting daily numbers, the five states with the greatest increase in hospitalizations per capita: New Hampshire 53%, Maine 31%, Vermont 30%, Rhode Island 19%, and Alaska 18%. The top 10 counties with the highest number of recent cases per capita according to The New York Times: Nome Census Area, AK. Goshen, WY. Boundary, ID. Bethel Census Area, AK. Kodiak Island Borough, AK. Kenai Peninsula Borough, AK. Fergus, MT. Matanuska-Susitna Borough, AK. Humboldt, NV. And Stark, ND. There have been at least 738,877 deaths in the U.S. recorded as Covid-related. The top 3 vaccinating states by percentage of population that's been fully vaccinated were not updated so remain: Vermont at 70.9%, Rhode Island at 70.4%, and Connecticut at 70.3%. The bottom 3 vaccinating states are West Virginia at 41%, Idaho at 43.4%, and Wyoming at 43.5%. The percentage of the U.S. that's been fully vaccinated is 57.4%. The five countries with the largest 24-hour increase in the number of fully vaccinated people; Taiwan up 4%, Oceana 2%, and South Korea, Ethiopia, and Australia 1%. Globally, cases were down 1% and deaths were down 2% over 14 days, with the 7-day average trending down since October 22. There are 17,947,016 active cases around the world. The five countries with the most new cases: The United States 69,634. The U.K. 40,954. Russia 36,446. Turkey 29,643. And Germany 20,955. There have been at least 4,962,804 deaths reported as... See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
This is Coronavirus 411, the latest COVID-19 info and new hotspots for October 26th, 2021. New travel guidance from the US government. Most travelers to the United States are required to be vaccinated, however if you're from a country that has a shortage of vaccines, you for some reason don't have to be. Airlines must get contact info on passengers for contact tracing. And starting Nov. 8, all travelers must be tested, even if you're fully vaccinated, to get on a plane bound for the US. Moderna says a study in kids 6 to 11 found two doses of their vaccine given 28 days apart produced a strong antibody response. The study was done using a half dose of the adult vaccine. The company will submit the data to regulators in an attempt to win authorization of the vaccine for children in that age range. As with many things, there is no debate about giving children vaccines in China. With 76% of the population fully vaccinated and a zero-tolerance policy toward outbreaks, kids as young as 3 years old will start being vaccinated in at least five provinces. What's the best way to incentivize people to get vaccinated…you know, other than avoiding going on a ventilator? A study out of North Carolina says it's cash. Guaranteed cash incentives slowed the decline in vaccine rates by half where offered. Researchers said rewards are especially effective if given immediately after the desired behavior, which is why some vaccine lotteries have not been effective. A little bad news for some of you, and you know who you are. Researchers at the National Institute on Drug Abuse say regular use of marijuana can increase your chances of getting a breakthrough COVID infection. In fact, the study showed cannabis was the only substance that increased the risk based only on the substance and related behaviors. In the United States cases were down 25%, deaths are down 13%, and hospitalizations are down 19% over 14 days. The 7-day average of new cases has been trending down since September 13. There are 9,388,349 active cases in the United States. With not all states reporting daily numbers, the five states with the greatest increase in hospitalizations per capita: New Hampshire 54%, Vermont 31%, Maine 28%, Rhode Island 19%, and Colorado and Alaska 16%. The top 10 counties with the highest number of recent cases per capita according to The New York Times: Goshen, WY. Boundary, ID. Humboldt, NV. Bethel Census Area, AK. Carbon, WY. Nome Census Area, AK. Stark, ND. Inyo, CA. Fremont, WY. And Park, MT. There have been at least 737,316 deaths in the U.S. recorded as Covid-related. The top 3 vaccinating states by percentage of population that's been fully vaccinated: Vermont at 70.9%, Rhode Island at 70.4%, and Connecticut at 70.3%. The bottom 3 vaccinating states are West Virginia at 41%, Idaho at 43.4%, and Wyoming at 43.5%. The percentage of the U.S. that's been fully vaccinated is 57.4%. There were only three countries with a 24-hour increase in the number of fully vaccinated people; India up 2%, and Oceana and Indonesia 1%. Globally, cases were down 2% and deaths were down 4% over 14 days, with the 7-day average trending down since October 22. There are 17,893,223 active cases around the world. The five countries with the most new cases: The United States 48,771. Russia 37,930. The U.K. 36,567. Turkey 27,663. And Ukraine 14,634. There have been at least 4,954,274 deaths reported as Covid-related worldwide. For the latest updates, subscribe for free to Coronavirus 411 on your podcast app or ask your smart speaker to play the Coronavirus 411 podcast. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Kate takes inspiration from today's guest and wakes up early to write, and Doree looks forward to having the house to herself. Then, Besidone Amoruwa, Manager of Strategic Content and Creator Partnerships at Instagram, shares why waking up at 5 a.m. is the ultimate self-care, the many ways she's learned to set boundaries in her life, and what you should do if you want to become an influencer. To leave a voicemail or text for a future episode, reach them at 781-591-0390. You can also email the podcast at email@example.com.Visit forever35podcast.com for links to everything they mention on the show.Follow the podcast on Twitter (@Forever35Pod) and Instagram (@Forever35Podcast) and join the Forever35 Facebook Group (Password: Serums). Sign up for the newsletter! At forever35podcast.com/newsletter This episode is sponsored by:PURPLE - Go to Purple.com/forever10, and use promo code FOREVER10. For a limited time, get 10% off any order of $200 or more!THRIVE CAUSEMETICS - Visit thrivecausemetics.ca/FOREVER35 for 10% off your first order.BILLIE - Go to MyBillie.com/FOREVER35 and get your $9 starter kit today. CALM - For 40% off a Calm Premium subscription, head to calm.com/forever35.BETTER HELP - Get 10% off your first month with the discount code FOREVER35. Go to betterhelp.com/FOREVER35 to get started today.BEST FIENDS - Download Best Fiends FREE on the Apple App Store or Google Play. That's FRIENDS without the R – Best Fiends. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.