Blue Wives Tribe

About JJ:JJ is a corporate-career-woman turned homeschool mom, writer, girls Bible teacher, and LEOW ministry leader. She's passionate about caring for the hearts of law enforcement wives. As a LE wife for over 20 years, JJ understands these brides are often forgotten in our culture today. To provide a safe and trusted environment for law enforcement wives, JJ co-founded a local ministry called Blue Line Brides - a place for police wives to connect, feel known, receive encouragement in the Lord and laugh a little too! Most days you can find JJ sipping ice tea, writing words and spoiling her German Shepherd, Bella. JJ is the author of Armor of God for Police Wives and Chickening IN- from FEAR to Courageous FAITH.Website: http://www.jjgutierrezauthor.comAmazon link to the book: https://www.amazon.com/Armor-God-Police-Wives-Gutierrez/dp/B09FS5BF51/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=armor+of+god+for+police+wives&qid=1631773254&sr=8-1Instagram Link: https://www.instagram.com/jjgutierrezauthor/

About Ashley: Ashley is a certified life coach and weight loss coach. Her husband is a k9 handler and they have been together for 12 years.They have a 6 year old son who keeps them very busy.  Ashley is passionate about helping her clients experience less stress and anxiety in their daily lives by changing their thought patterns. She uses thought adaptation techniques to help clients rewire their brains and create new thoughts, beliefs and habits. Contact Ashley: https://www.thinbluelinelifecoach.comInstagram @thinbluelinelifecoachGmail: thinbluelinelifecoach@gmail.comLinked In : Ashley Dunnwald 

Find Lauren and The Strong Police Wife Society on IG here @strongpolicewifesocietyJoin The Strong Police Wife Society by clicking here 

Find Kristen's merch and free preview of her book,  Be a Happy Police wife in Motherhood  hereBe a Happy Police Wife in Motherhood Audio Book here  

https://www.firstrespondersfirst.com/Contact Eric (Admissions Director): (888) 252-5767admissions@firstrespondersfirst.comIntensive Outpatient Program Video  Residential Treatment Program aka The Ranch Video 

ResourcesSafe Call Now  (Referral Source for First Responder Families)Psychology Today (Therapist Search)Therapy Tribe1-800-273-8255 (National Suicide Hotline)Call your department's EAP (Employer Assistance Program)Contact NicoleEmail: nvienna@bluewivestribe.com 

In this episode, I overview a research article about how police work creates unique stressors in marital relationships. Karaffa et al. 2015 conducted a research study wherein they administered a needs assessment (a questionnaire asking LEOs and their spouses about the kinds of difficulties they faced in their marriage) to 82 officers and 89 officer spouses. The average age of the officer completing the survey was 39. The average number of years the LEOs and their spouses were married was 1-5 years when they took the survey. The results showed LEOs and their spouses agreed upon the kind of stressors they faced and the kind of support they sought out. The researchers found that while spouses were proud to be married to their LEOs, concerns still existed about finances, work-family conflict, and law enforcement-specific stressors, such as negative attitudes toward police. Both officers and their spouses relied heavily on support from their family and friends (including other police families) than professional support. I also give my fav tips on increasing communication in your relationship with your LEO.

In this episode, Nicole reviews some quick tips on moving forward from the Floyd issue. She goes over some personal steps her and her husband have taken to maintain balance and wellness.

In this episode, Nicole interviews Alisha, fellow LEOW and licensed marriage and family therapist. She is also a certified First Responder. She grew up the daughter of a police officer in the Central Valley. After her husband and her were married, he went to the academy and is now a LEO in the Monterey Bay. However, this WAS NOT part of their plan. Listen to the episode to learn how her LEO decided on his career. Alisha and her LEO have two young kiddos, have been married for almost 8 years, and are actively involved in our church community (more so when not in quarantine). She is also the co-founder and owner of Code 3 Counseling in California where she works with her dad (now retired LEO) on providing mental health and educational services to first responders. In the interview, Alisha discusses the mindset to have as a LEOW in difficult times - that this is a season and it will pass. She also talks about focusing on "what we are going to get from it [tough times]" and how to grow from it. In addition, you will hear about how to hold space during trauma or sadness. Most notably, she shares her journey with getting her husband hired and settled into a department. They struggled with the political aftermath of issues at his department, which caused problems with him getting hired. And then when he got hired in the Monterey Bay, they did a “long-distance-ish” thing where he would commute to the Monterey Bay from Stockton (3 hours) for his work week and then come home on his days off. They did that for about 18 months before the kids and her moved out when he got off of probation (also, he started the department work when their second child was 14 days old). And then moving out the Monterey Bay, they had absolutely no support system when they moved. Thus, they had to work hard to build for them and have an "us." LEOW advice from Alisha. "It would be to understand how responders react to the trauma they are exposed to. When we understand the impact of trauma, we can recognize it more easily, and the respond in grace to the problems these responses cause in our marriage/relationship with our responder. This is not to excuse their inappropriate behavior. When we understand that our spouse is responding to the trauma their brain experienced, we can respond in a helpful and constructive way than a shameful and hurtful way. "Other cool things mentioned in the episode: Its not about the nail videoCode 3 Counseling  (Alisha's counseling practice)

About Emma: Emma grew up in the suburbia of New Jersey. From a young age she had a love for all things blue because her grandfather had been a State Trooper. When she was old enough she attended the New Jersey State Police week-long academy experience. Throughout high school she worked at a farmer’s market and alongside her friend and mentor, Barbara, rapidly developing a love for all things agriculture. After graduating high school, she moved down south to pursue farming in a hands-on internship, during which she also dated her now husband, who is a country police officer. They were married in January of this year, and enjoy life on their small homestead startup. A piece of advice from LEOW Emma: Remember that your strength can’t come from a finite source, a store that can be depleted. I’ve definitely tried to do everything on my own before, hold everything together by myself, and every time I just end up burnt out. My strength truly comes from Christ, reading the word of God and prayer. When I don’t have to rely on myself to “keep it all together”, it frees me up to do the second most important thing, whether you’re a police wife or not: just enjoy the little things. The little moments in life. Focus on the here and now. In the words of Jim Elliot, “Live to the hilt”.  Cool things mentioned:The 5 Love LanguagesBrene Brown's Empathy vs Sympathy videoEmma's IG: @forget_me_knotbond  

Places to find a therapist:https://www.life-giver.org/find-a-counselor/www.Psychologytoday.com Disclaimer: Episodes and content covered on episodes by the host and guests are not a substitute for medical or psychiatric advice. They are not intended to diagnose or treat anyone or any condition. Episodes and content are for educational purposes only. 

Blue Wives Tribe Community Updates!! Email Nicole your name and address if you want a challenge coin: nvienna@vpg-corp.com - ($25) – you will get a QR code to send your money (to Nicole’s account). Once payment is received, coin will ship out!Subscribe to the Newsletter: https://linktr.ee/bluewivestribePeer support Meeting 11/11 (Led by Ashley) -- please download ring central meetings app. and then click here.Email Nicole, Message us on FB or IG for the password! 11/18  LEOW Peer support meeting (Led by Vicky)  No meeting on 11/25 (Thanksgiving) Quarterly Wellness Webinar (Nicole & Kaleigh)- News Years Resolution and Setting Goals for 2021!  December 2020 (TBD exact date)LEOW and Lattes – every Friday at 9am PST – join me LIVE for LEOW conversations! Blue Wife Life Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/blue-wife-life/id1434574527https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/blue-wife-life/id1434574527?i=1000429197359Yardfetti https://www.yardfetti.com/

Find Allison’s Cuffs and Coffee Devotional Here:https://www.amazon.com/Cuffs-Coffee-Devotional-Wives-Enforcement/dp/1542371953 

https://proudpolicewife.com/Article: How to stay positive when it feels like the world is against police officers.Police Wife BinderPrintable Love Notes for a Police OfficerThe Peacemaker's wife: A journal for encouragement and reflection for police wives and girlfriends

Website: https://fwhcounseling.com/Email: therapy@fwhcounseling.com Self-Worth & Self-Care: https://fwhcounseling.com/self-worth/Featured in Voyage Dallas: http://voyagedallas.com/interview/meet-flourish-hope-fort-worth/Journal Your Way to Self-Care by Claudia:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08G9L6YQCFor the Wife Behind the Badge: A Brief Guide to Calming the Anxious Mind: http://bluewivestribe.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/FOR-THE-WIFE-BEHIND-THE-BADGE.pdf

Natalie's take-away pieces of advice: Be watchful for social media accounts that are telling you how to think instead of encouraging you to learn.We shouldn't be forced to pick a side. Be wary of those telling you it's one or the other.Identify. Challenge. Replace.Be the change.Protect your mental health. As hard as it is, try to stay away from the media. Or unfollow/mute accounts that are causing pain during this time. Be present with those around you. If every post you see is negative towards the police, you'll start to think and believe everyone thinks that way (guilty!) but is it really the case? I've noticed that once I did a fair bit of unfollowing, the support started to shine through. And remember there are a lot of silent supporters. Seek out accounts that are sharing the good things.Find Natalie's blog article on creating change and overcoming prejudice here: https://familymakescents.com/overcoming-prejudice/Visit Natalie's blog- Family Makes Cents (frugal living and intentional motherhood): http://familymakescents.com/  

Link to several EMDR studies: https://emdrfoundation.org/research-grants/current-research-listing/Life Giver: First responder and family therapist finder https://www.life-giver.org/cliniciandirectory/National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH): https://www.nimh.nih.gov/index.shtmlAnxiety and Depression Association of America: https://adaa.org/nvienna@bluewivestribe.com            

Chief Thomas Bio USC Public Safety Chief Thomas Addresses the Death of George FloydThe President's (Obama) Task Force on 21st Century Policing  (referenced in the interview)

Peaks and Valleys Website HereLink to Officer Involved Spouse Book Here.Contact Linda: linda@peaksandvalleys.lifeLife Giver Therapist Finder Website Here5 Love Languages Book Linda referenced HereThe Counseling Team International website (first responder counseling in Southern California) 

Join us for the Blue Wives Tribe podcast! A podcast for the global community of law enforcement wives and girlfriends, also known as Blue Wives.