Infinity Warrior

Nita pulls in a chapter of THE POSSIBILITY PRINCIPLE by Mel Schwartz -How Quantum Physics Can Improve The Way You Think, Live, and Love- as a conversation study around chapter two.  In this episode we are working to expand our base of knowledge on embracing the unknown in our battle against the fear that sits heavy within our life and cripples our journey, often never releasing it's death grip on us.  Explore with Nita the writings of Schwartz and see how the idea of possibility and embracing the unknown, welcoming the uncertainty will light your life with creativity and opportunity.   The energy flow of your life is what you choose.  It can be confining and crippling, or, it can be open and bursting with light.  Where you put your mindset, focus, drive and mental / physical determination matters.  Living in and welcoming the possibility of the unknown as a safe place to reside will lighten the load of your mental burden.   The sun will set and the sun will rise regardless of your attempt to control it.  Lean back and allow the sun to do what it does and learn from this coming / closing of each day that no matter where you choose to place your mental energies, tomorrow will arrive just the same.  Learn from this certainty that you have uncounted blessings around you that will carry you forward from the need of certainty and into the realm of possibility.   --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

In this episode Nita shares with you a live recording done on Instagram with guest Nick Kerry, psychotherapist. Nick has recently launched Narc & Co an independent mentoring service to help people recover from narcissistic abuse. Find him and his team on the web at www.narcnco.com - This engaging conversation Nick shares behavior patterns of codependent and narcissistic individuals, discusses the false self, talks about healthy narcissism what it is and why it's important to have it within yourself and talks about the real opportunity codependence have to heal from the abuse suffered. Being a victim of narcissistic abuse is not a life sentence, it is a reality that when faced head-on with courage can be unlearned and overcame. This is the first in a series of episodes Nita and Nick will do together over the coming year. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

Nita leads you through a guided exercise to connect within yourself and listen with intent to how you're emotional - mental - physical self is feeling. This exercise sets up the foundation to dive into tools and tips to help you through your healing journey and preps the conversation for how you choose to go into your life. In fear? In faith? Don't miss this engaging conversation about the path to your purpose, passion and how you access those through walking in your authenticity. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

How are you doing?  Truly, how are you?  Are you feeling, are you listening to that voice inside?  That voice that connects to your authenticity, your core values, the true you. Are you walking within your dreams and living life to the fullest, or, are you silently dying inside wondering what to do.  How to escape the emptiness and void within?  Join Nita's talk about walking into change and becoming the change maker of your own journey through finding self worth and courage to live the life that you've always dreamed of.   Struggling with change?  Visit https://www.yourinfinitynation.com/post/12-ways-to-cope-with-unexpected-changes for Nita's 12 Proven Ways to Cope With Unexpected Change which will help you as you sit with the information learned in this launch episode of Infinity Warrior where Nita rebrands her life to a solo business venture after breaking free of her codependency and yet another painful unexpected change to her journey.   Enjoy a special clip from Nick Kerry who is a qualified psychotherapist with extensive experience in narcissistic / co-dependent relationships. Over the last ten years, he has specialized in psychological support for those experiencing narcissistic abuse.  Visit https://www.narcnco.com/ to learn more about this new mentoring service that Nita talks about in this episode.   This special launch episode is an ideal kick off for Infinity Nation's mission to help people connect within themselves to lead them into their purpose and passion as they walk within their authentic self.    --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

Those moments when you walk away from a conversation or situation and you feel like you let yourself down, that you did not stand up for yourself, or hold a boundary or something that we can all relate too. Here at Infinity warrior we will explore human connection Within. Building the connection to ourselves is the single most important and valuable aspect of becoming a whole individual so that we can welcome, hold, enjoy healthy relationships throughout our life. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

In this episode Nita shares her experience with a lesson in gratitude. How the act of being thankful completely shifted her negative outlook, mindset, approach. She shares the book that taught her the approach that works so well and she gives us insight into an incredibly spiritual moment that launched her new journey into manifestation. She believes she will succeed therefore she is succeeding. Don't miss this highly intriguing episode that surpasses the fine-tuning growth she's been working on for so long and catapults us into a plane of subconscious growth. V --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

Nita a talks candidly in this episode about finding herself and what that actually looks like. How it deepened over time, over the course of a year. When you think that you found yourself once you later realize it was just a topical layer and as you apply more authentic you to any situation as you hold your boundaries firmer and with more authority with less regret or guilt until there's none he realized that this is the person you were always supposed to be and as that happens people are forced to exit your path. In this episode, we look at Nita discovering to be holding true to herself, and the fall out of friends that occurs when you put yourself, not selfishly but needfully first in your decisions. You're still the same person you didn't change but you did find yourself because you'll no longer allow bad behavior. The people who love you, the people who see you, the people who can hear you, the people who evidence that they value you will rise to any opportunity to have a good, hard, difficult, blessed conversation with you because you truly matter to them. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

In this short episode Nita talks about having to take a break in order to honor herself and focus on the divorce that she has worked so long and so hard towards. It's not an easy task to learn to honor yourself and connect within your needs, heart, soul, spirit.. yet it is going to be the greatest journey of your life. Believing in yourself will bring you the greatest joy you've ever experienced. It will open doors you never knew existed within you. Nita's hope is that you prioritize and honor you always. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

Attacked. When do you stand your ground? Nita discusses when she stands her ground and why. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

Anna shares her traumatic journey through bullying and sexual assault that led to the creation of Renee Campaign an organization that provides support to survivors of bullying and sexual assault, including the ability to be supported by survivors and know that you are never alone. Meet this courageous woman and experience her dedication to healing and justice. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

What's in an opinion? Not a fucking thing! Should I take someones opinion into my mind? Nope! You absolutely should NOT! In this episode Nita explores the why behind opinions and the who is the opinion benefiting? Is, or rather was the opinion necessary to share? We're not talking about someones emotional needs, their hurt feelings, their attempt at communicating their needs, we're discussing with cold clarity another person's thoughts about your life. ... Exactly how does that matter to you? It dosent at all. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

Nita explores this IG post that created in interesting social experience. ➡️TO the men who are kind, respectful of others emotions, hold yourself & others accountable, apologize, laugh, clean up the house, have courage, are humble, healing, strong, honest, creative, have integrity, ingenuity, face their fears, embrace their scars, love their woman with fierce brilliance & loyalty, and honor their children; you are heroes walking among us. Thank you for leading by action. ➡️ Has your trauma turned you against the opposite sex??!! Do you automatically lump all men, or all women into the same category as the person who caused your trauma? Are you in denial? Are you able to celebrate all people for who they are? Listen to this great talk that may irritate you, make you laugh and just might make you question your own healing path. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

In this new episode Nita shares her emotionally exhausting three days that triggered her past and brought all that past right into the present and she began leading with trauma brain. Fear, abandonment, rejection all manifested in her mind but not in reality as her friend held space for her emotional pain and as tears fell she came clean about her feelings, risking the rejection she expected. Confronting her trauma brain allowed immediate healing, acceptance and peace to flood in and move her through the moment. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

Nita begins choosing to honor her feelings and removes herself from spaces that don't accept that she has the right to feel how she feels. This new step of self validation pushes her buckets of self love and self worth to an all time high and she realizes there is no turning back to self abandonment again. Others will choose to be a part of her journey or they'll exit but she will no longer pretend to be okay when emotionally she's not. She is responsible for her own emotional safety. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

Dawn shares with Nita her journey to founding her Instagram account My Big Love Project and her courageous podcast How My Parents Raised Me. Both projects bring hope and healing to trauma victims worldwide. Listen to Dawn's courageous journey to becoming the mother she wanted to give her children and her caring insight and vision for those healing from trauma. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

Nita hosts her friend and business partner Jon Dale in this terrific reality check on how he brought consistentency to his exercise efforts for the first time in his life. This is such an inspiring talk to Nita who has bounced in and out of being physically fit and could never stay within the best range of fit because the toxic abusive environment she lived in could not allow this for her. Within this podcast Jon details that even as a youth and young adult in his role as an elite athlete Jon's internal emotional-mental chaos kept him from finding consistency and happiness in exercise. These last three and a half years Jon has broken a devistating grip of addiction and battled to find inner peace through hard mental and emotional work to understand why he's always been in mental-emotional chaos and put into practice many incredible tools to cope and build healthy habits that bring him an inner peace he's never experienced before. With this inner peace he has discovered that for the first time in his life his exercise is hitting a level of consistency mixed with a trust of self to just keep at it day in day out. No longer is training, exercising, being fit something that torments him but rather something that inspires him. Listen to this engaging conversation and see if anything within it resonates on your battle to bring consistency to your fitness life. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

What a breakthrough Nita experiences when she accepts her power to action her life. Having always allowed situations to cause reactions from her, the reality that she always has options and the ability to take charge and put things into action and see what doors open and what doors do not open. This approach has completely shifted her internal power and the role she holds for herself in her life. Listen, subscribe and share this vibrant podcast, hosted by a charming courageous woman with a voice that will leave you ready for the next episode. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

In this episode officer Slagle gives professional insight into domestic calls, including what to expect, when to call, resources, and primarily that you do have options. You won't want to miss this great conversation between friends about an domestic abuse and recovery. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

In this episode Nita launches deeper about her PTSD for a look into how micro events pull past abuses to the present and launch her PTSD into hyperdrive pulling her past into her present and catapulting her into full body overload. Two days locked in this state of system alert. Fight or flight response ON. Our survivor talks candidly about her traumas, healing and what working with her therapist looks like and how important her therapists guidence is to healing. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

Therapy heals. Therapy hurts. Therapy is only measurable over time and in this discussion about her journey with and through therapy, Nita gets real about the shame and judgement, fear and intimidation that tried to pull her from the mission of healing and dragging this family out of abuse. Therapy is a non-negotiable requirement for herself and her children and looking at how far they've all come it's amazing to see the changes within each and every member of the family. Don't miss this episode and the insight of overcoming fear to heal. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

In this episode we see what it looks like to finally learn how to implement boundaries and HOLD them firm only to end up being told you're the one gaslighting the narcissist! It's nothing new in the world of our domestic abuse survivor to be told she's the problem, the bully, the abuser, but what was new was the fact that none of that triggered her PTSD, her hurts or opened a rabbit hole to fall into negative thinking. In this episode Nita realizes and accepts that to the attacker she is the bad guy because she will no longer show up as a "yes" "ok" "sure" person. Now she's choosing herself and is filling her bucket with self love each and every day so that when attacked it's very easy to simply say, "NO." No is a complete sentence that does not need explaining or justifying. When you break free of people pleasing and abuse you begin to unleash chaos around you in those who need you to show up how you always did before... Which always had you abandoning yourself in one way or another. What we're all learning is that, that woman is dead now and this beautiful, stunning, intelligent, confident woman is emerging. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

Our survivor shares the long discussed episode on financial abuse. Unable to publish during the active fight in court for support as it was just to hard and emotional for Nita to wrap her head around. Listen as Nita shares the financial journey through abuse and how disgusting it is. Even now the agreement is temporary financial support so her stability and that of her children still has more changes to come as court hearings and trial dates approach. Never underestimate the lengths an abuser will go to punish and control you and always know there are paths out of financial abuse. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

In this episode our survivor opens up about the vulnerability of her journey into healing from deep traumas that led her into a passive existence of a non-existent sense of self. Nita's insight about how healing feels when you hit that sweet spot of authenticity and what it brings to your life mix with her witty self banter and vocal beauty in this first launch of her new season of consistency. Healing looks how ever the &_$# you need it to look and ABSOLUTELY no one gets to tell you otherwise. Episode 1 of Season 2 will hook you on her journey into breaking a cycle of abuse. Hit subscribe on your favorite platform and never miss a chance to transform your life by embracing any and all forms of growth that motivate and touch your soul. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

Nita courageously talks about her a terrifying episode of depersonalization in which she realized that this is it, this is that space of out of body existence that people hit and just leave their lives permanently because the trauma and undealt with emotional pain is so overpowering that all sense of self is lost. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

Nita shares the growth climb to a place of peace, acceptance and self love after an incredible week of personal work through journaling, boundaries, accountability, honoring herself, honoring her needs, honoring her goals. All of her superpowers were unleashed catapulting her to a level of self acceptance that allowed her to begin seeing her role in her own life. Don't miss this terrific opportunity help your journey to realizing the most powerful you that's ever existed. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

In this upbeat episode Nita shares her breakthrough moment and accountability push that allowed her to begin accepting how valuable, beautiful, authentic, worthy she is.....to herself. Self acceptance and self love finally settle and our warrior begins to see life through different eyes and actions. Don't miss this important conversation about finding trusting spaces that honor you and how that will affect the person that you believe and know you are. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

Change is a fire breathing dragon trying to destroy and kill you one moment and a beautiful serene welcoming space of safety and inclusion the next. What is change to you? How do you survive unexpected change? Tune in as Nita discovers the terrifying ups and downs of change and realizes just what standing alone feels like. How all relationships, spaces, people, animals, hell, even the trees...change... It's truly a significant autumn podcast as the world around her rural Oregon home is alive with the breathtaking beauty showcasing the death of all things as the leaves burn in the glorious colors of fall. Watch our survivor grow through the change and simply accept that she has no control, no expectations and is only responsible for what she puts out into the world. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

Rejection, heart break all comes from a place of simply not understanding where the storyline shifted and how it was that you were so unaware of what was happening right in front of you. Leaning into the fear we witness Nita desperate to understand how her reaction to change can move to stable ground and stop the freefall off a mental cliff that she's been living for days. Listen and see the raw, vulnerability of Nita as the world as she had allowed hope to mold breaks and falls away, leaving her soul naked, barren and lost in it's own existence. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

Laughter and shame collide in this episode where our survivor shares her truths on body shaming. That rage that lurked the first time she wore shorts in public after separating and how body shaming children creates fragilities within them where self doubt, self hate, self harming and even suicidal thoughts took seed. Don't miss this important look into the seriousness of body shaming in domestic abuse. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

In this surprise episode Nita shares how she lost herself. How her personal identity became so detached that she stood on the paint isle looking at all the colors for an hour simply trying to see which colors felt right, because she had no idea of the woman within. Her boundaries had been non existant since childhood and she became a chameleon who could shrink or grow to any situation because there was no Nita; only a hollow shell of a woman who kept all her feelings locked deep inside and presented "public" Nita to everyone around her. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

One day after an honest, raw message of grief from our survivor, we gain insight into her therapy session this afternoon and what she's learned about her grief, PTSD, trauma brain and how she's applying what she learned and the immediate mental lift she's experienced. Don't miss the healthy aftereffect of an afternoon in therapy. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

Nita is bombarded by trauma induced emotions and PTSD that centers around grief. Specifically the loss of her son nearly 18 years ago. In this episode you'll gain truly intimate insight into her world as she grieves. See her raw, honest approach to healing... through the tears... --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

Mother's Day Leveling Up

Our survivor talks about her acceptance of being an addict with special guest Jon Dale. Nita's trusted friend and mentor, Jon shares some of his journey on recovery with us. Listen today as Nita and Jon give you a glimpse into their experiences on self abuse, being locked in your own mind and addiction. This episode is a breakthrough first for Nita in welcoming a guest and opens up invaluable insight as to why people stay in the destructive cycles as experienced by these two survivors. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

Nita struggles with those who still try to push control over her and how they react with such hurt and dismay when they run head first into a boundary that she is learning are the healthiest things in the world as she begins the new journey of putting herself first. The journey where loving herself and choosing herself first will bring internal Nita and external Nita still closer together which will make a woman whole enough to give and receive love, to be cherished and to cherish... Our Nita finally accepts she has no control but her reactions and as she limits others access to her, she limits their attempts at controlling her. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

Raw and vulnerable Nita talks about safe spaces in the healing process. When you loose one how do you handel it if PTSD looms? What connects you to reality and pulls your sanity to healthy ground. Listen to the intimate details of Nita's journey out of abuse. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

Learning to set boundaries is complex and difficult to do. Check in on Nita's progress as she continues to break out of unhealthy habits learned from her abusive marriage and discover what she learned about her never ending smile. In her case that gorgeous smile truly hides a million secrets. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

Our mom of 5 breaking a cycle of domestic abuse talks about therapy and the changes she's witnessing in herself. The challenges and dark moments that are turning her into the beautiful, courageous, sexy woman taking charge of her life. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

As our divorcing mom of 5 continues breaking the suffocating cycle of domestic abuse she shares a secret glimpse into being beautiful and the darkness and disgusting way that her beauty was used to shame, humiliate and control her. To this day she struggles internally with the need to justify her 'look', and strives to break her mental self away from learned household norms. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/infinitywarrior/support

10 minutes of my perfectly imperfect first attempt at creating an amazing podcast journey into the hidden moments of a mom breaking a cycle of domestic abuse while reinventing herself