Let's Talk About Sex with Lynn and Jen

Psychiatrist Lynn Ponton and therapist Soy Kim discuss the ways in which abusive behavior can be prevented.

Dr. Lynn Ponton and therapist Soy Kim discuss treatment options for individuals who have abused.

Psychiatrist Lynn Ponton MD and Soy Kim LMFT discuss sibling abuse in this episode of their five-part series. 

In this second episode of the series, Dr. Lynn Ponton and LMFT Soy Kim discuss the role of grooming within abuse.

Lynn Ponton and Soy Kim discuss abuse and complicity in this five-episode series.

Lynn and Jen wrap up their podcast with the series finale on COVID and depression, featuring guests Soy and Val. Recorded on Feb. 25, 2022.

Dr. Lynn Ponton and Jennifer Wong discuss the emotional impact of COVID with guests Soy and Val.

Following our first episodes, Lynn and Jenn have a conversation with guests Soy and Valerie about social media readiness for teens.

Lynn and Jen discuss social media readiness for teens, part one.

16 July 2021. Several epidemics coincide in America. Lynn and Jen discuss the ongoing epidemics of sexual harassment and COVID. How do these epidemics affect each other? 

23 August 2021: Lynn and Jen discuss women's plight in Afghanistan focusing on the book Dancing in the Mosque by Homeria Qaderi. During the current American evacuation of Afghanistan women are suffering in unique ways. Survival strategies and ways to assist are focused on. 

What does it mean when an individual is entrenched in a belief that is not true? In this episode of Unmasked, Lynn and Jen reflect think about thinking and consider when our fantasies are protective or problematic.

It's not just you feeling like you're running out of steam, in this episode of Unmasked, Lynn and Jen discuss pandemic burnout and what you can do to cope and thrive.

Lynn and Jen reflect on one year of COVID and bring together themes across Unmasked.

In this trying time our friends are needed more than ever, and yet COVID has placed unique strains our close relationships. Lynn and Jen give advice on how to maintain friendships.

In the middle of pandemic, the need for flexibility has become evermore apparent in the face of uncertainty. As parents, partners, professionals, and feeling people, how do we work through the emotions of flexibility?

Lynn and Jenn discuss what it means to be a therapist in pandemic. How can clinicians hold space for clients while also doing that for themselves? How can we deal with the personal when so much focus is on supporting others?

What potential is there for growth after trauma? Lynn and Jen explore the idea of personal development with the possibilities of 2021.  

How can those with existing mental health issues from pre-COVID times be supported? In this episode Lynn and Jenn discuss strategies they have been using in their practices to address stress, trauma, and challenging family dynamics.

Lynn and Jen reflect at the end 2020: What does celebration look like in the midst of loss and separation? What can we learn from this year and take into 2021?

As teen mental health experts, Lynn and Jen explore how adolescents have been coping during Covid times and in a Trump worlds. This episode is the third in a special series, Unmasked.   

In their second episode of a special COVID-19 series, Lynn and Jen explore topics related to anger. Are you feeling more prone to anger during this challenging time? The LTAS duo analyzes the many dimensions of anger and offers solutions to regulate and reframe this intense feeling. 

Lynn and Jen are back with a special series on mental health during the COVID-19 epidemic. In this first episode, thy explore topics related to work. With work occupying such a central part of our lives and identity, how are individuals coping while work changes in a socially-distant world?  

With COVID-19 on everyone's minds, LTAS is back with a spotlight on the psychology of epidemics. How do we understand our natural desire for safety and control in the midst of uncertainty? Lynn and Jen unpack strategies for managing fears, staying grounded, and making decisions in stressful situations.

This week, Lynn and Jen talk about how abusive systems are created and maintained, explaining the different roles each member in the system takes. Whether in families, government, or culture, these structures are insidious and hard to see, but with awareness, can be broken.

This week on LTAS, Lynn and Jen discuss how using the five love languages can help improve couples' communication with each other.Here's a link to take the quiz to find out your love language:https://www.5lovelanguages.com/

In this episode, Lynn and Jen revisit their conversation around sexting as revenge porn has become more obtrusive.Instead of shaming sexting, how do we promote consent in this new way of relating?

It's election day 2019!Inspired by Elizabeth Warren's running for president in 2020, Lynn and Jen dive right into the challenges women in positions of power face in our patriarchal culture.What are some of the challenges you have faced as a woman while in positions of power, whether that be at work, within your social circles, at home, etc.? Let us know!

In this spotlight episode, Lynn and Jen talk about the impacts of homelessness on individuals and their sexuality, and what we can do as a community to provide support.Make sure to check in with your local navigation centers to see what you can do to help!

Have you ever felt a sense of love or longing towards your therapist and couldn't figure out why? Or have you wondered how it happens?This week, Lynn and Jen talk about when a client develops loving feelings towards their therapist--in psychology, this is called erotic transference. We hope that with this episode, we can shed some light on what it is and keep the conversation going.To find out more about, you can visit: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-therapy/201206/clients-guide-transference

After a recent session with a teen client telling Jen about sugar dating, Jen wondered, "What the heck is sugar dating?!" Turns out, this has been around: We've heard of "sugar daddies" and "sugar babies," and apparently this relationship is "sugar dating."Are these relationships sexual? Are young people being exploited in these relationships? Or is it better to have explicit knowledge of these exchanges? Are these dynamics circumventing vulnerability? What about sugar mama's and how does this dynamic affect traditional gender norms?

As Lynn and Jen were discussing "sugar dating" and "sugar mama's," as some of you may have heard in our previous episode, it got us questioning the dynamics of older women and younger men who date. And often the women in these relationships are called "cougars." But unlike what is portrayed in the media, research shows that couples with this structure are in intimate, fulfilling relationships. In this same study, differences were found in how older women met their partners. They also note that as women age, mothers and grandmothers are seen as incompatible with having sexual desires.Jen shares about being married to a younger man and Lynn shares how older women and younger men were more common in Canada.

This week on LTAS, Lynn and Jen take a deep dive into the complex dynamics of sex trafficking, breaking away from the idea of the roles of victim and perpetrator being mutually exclusive. This is how the media portrays abuse: Jeffrey Epstein - "The Monster" Ghislaine Maxwell - "The Accomplice" Cyntoia Brown - "The Hero" (now) We believe all three have suffered from abuse, but the difference is in how they choose to cope with their trauma.

"The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else."That's something a 13-year-old said to Jen in a session one day. It made her realize that quite a few young teens that she is working with want to engage in sex, but view it in a very nonchalant manner. This raised some questions: What sexual junctures do young people face when developing their sexual identity? What are the beliefs that shape the rules they are trying to follow? Why is sex ed. only teaching the mechanics of sex? What about the socioemotional piece?These sexual junctures occur in childhood, teenhood, adulthood, and even in toddlers. Lynn shares the story of her grandson who has now decided that "Nana can't throw me the ball because she's a girl. Only boys can throw me the ball," even though she was the one who taught him how to play ball.

Sparked by an article in The Daily Beast, Lynn and Jen discuss patterns of abuse that seem so "normal" in our culture that many people get away with it. Often, the people who are being abused aren't consciously aware that what they have experienced is abuse, and a part of that relies upon predators grooming themselves long before they groom others. Those that do speak up, do so to protect other potential targets of abuse. It's not until the abused come together that they can see the patterns and realize it's not just them.

Lynn and Jen talk about the issues surrounding the prejudice against Indigenous women and girls in Canada, where large numbers go missing and murdered. In particular, the released New York Times article summarizes the National Inquiry report which calls this tragedy a genocide. Lynn shares personal experiences from her time working in the Red River area with this population and notes how the system continues to fail them, even when the "proper" procedures are followed.

Let's reshape the conversation around abortion away from pro-life or pro-choice, towards addressing the root cause--decreasing unwanted pregnancies.  Lynn and Jen discuss personal and community responsibility, bringing in ideas by Gabrielle Blair in her controversial Medium article and the book, Women Talking by Miriam Toews.

Lynn and Jen talk about the many different aspects of the power dynamics--power over vs. power sharing--in our country inspired by Lucy Flores' op-ed about Joe Biden. Lynn also shares a recent personal experience with sexual harassment and the feelings that arose as a result.

As the beloved series comes to a close with just one episode left, Lynn and Jen talk about the way some of the most popular characters both followed and broke traditional gender roles while navigating their power.

Lynn and Jen talk about how among people who have experienced sexual trauma, there is a high number of people who engage in disordered eating. We advocate that for those who are listening to the stories of survivors of sexual assault to consider exploring whether food is being used as a way to cope with the loss of control. We help listeners understand how the illusion of control is an important link.

Happy (belated) International Women's Day!In this episode, Lynn and I began by talking about our individual experiences on International Women's Day.  As the conversation went on, it became apparent that the policies a culture adopts affects not only society, but our own personal lives as well.We've seen where we've been, what can we do differently in the upcoming years?

In response to feedback we've received from our previous episodes, today we talk more about the way our society does not hear the full experience of boys and men who have been sexually abused.  Thank you to those in our community who have reached out to and educated us.  We hope that with the feedback we've received, we can keep the conversation going.

The Holidays are here! While chatting about our respective experiences with the holidays, we discovered that we definitely share some similar struggles with navigating gender, power, family dynamics, and the massive build up of expectations that tend to make the holidays a tricky time for so many. In this Episode, we'll divulge a few of our points of contention (to put it mildly!), and share some tips on how to stay calm, how to remain curious instead of judge-y (where possible), and how to ride out the end of the year in a way that allows you to be present with folks, but also hold firmly onto yourself!

The idea for this episode's topic started when Jen was driving and heard Ryan Seacrest on the radio. Seacrest had been accused of sexually assaulting his ex-stylist, and that got Jen thinking about how and why society frequently protects abusers. Lynn and Jen also recently had been doing research on grooming by abusive teachers, and in this episode, they share some of their thoughts, reflections, and discoveries.

There are a lot of ways to think and feel through our individual and collective responses to the Ford/Kavanaugh hearings. When things get stirred up, we sometimes put our more scientific and analytic brains down for a nap and just talk from our guts. Here's our version of that. With guest Jesse Hewit.

In this episode, we address the difficult questions and potential consequences of talking or not talking about the Kavanaugh allegations with our kids. Many parents have questions about how young is too young to begin conversations with your kids about such difficult issues, what terminology is important to use, and how we can empower our kids take care of themselves and eachother.

We somehow skipped over posting this episode! It was supposed to be the third piece to our life transitions trilogy. Anyway, here it is now! This one's for the 20-somethings inbetween adolescence and adulthood, and those who live, love and work with them.

We've heard you, and are back discussing the Avital Ronell situation in light of new information that has been released to the public. Thanks for listening and sending us feedback. We love hearing from you!

Here we discuss this post on Medium, titled Rose-Colored Glasses: A Confession, written by Chloe Dykstra about her relationship with an abusive ex-boyfriend. Readers identified that person as Chris Hardwick, though he was not mentioned by name in the post. We chose to use this opportunity to discuss the importance of confronting abuse. 

Following up on a discussion that was sparked by our last episode, we turn our focus to the other end of the life spectrum--grandparenting. Both of us had grandfathers that were formative to our lives, and we share about those relationships. Lynn is in the early years of being a grandmother and she talks about her experiences with that. How have major societal shifts affected the grandparenting role? Listen to find out!   What are your experiences related to grandparenting? We'd love to hear from you! info@talkingsexpodcast.com