Lost: In Translation

If you watch no other episode of Lost in Season 2, watch the season finale! It is just so excellent. This episode has everything! We find out how the plane crashed! Locke’s Island Destiny Doubts are stronger than ever! Eko and Charlie have some massive dynamite problems! We see a familiar face appear at the end of what is DEFINITELY A TRAP. And we see Walt! As for us, we talk about TV shows that have theme songs. Rachel CANNOT WAIT for season 3, Phil is still on board for season 3, possible only for the worst of the worst episodes, and Susana thinks Lost is just SO WEIRD. Susana still does not like Lost.

Guys, if you watch no other episode of Lost in Season 2, watch this, the season file of season 2. We’ve got all kind of antics! Michael leads the Strike Team to what is DEFINITELY NOT A TRAP, Sayid gets to have a boat now that he doesn’t know how to sail, and we get the return of Desmond and the introduction of the love of his life, Penny! As for us, we discuss rough wigs, boats and how we don’t know a lot about them, Phil makes some fantastic bird noises, and Susana wonders just how much weird stuff can possibly happen on this TV show. Susana still does not like Lost.

Oh boy oh boy, listeners, what a week we have for you. This week we have both Phil’s Biggest Eye Roll of the show so far AS WELL AS a free advertisement from a sponsor we do not have. So you know we are starting out strong. This week we watch Michael’s slow progression into Being The Worst At Being The Worst. We also get some more funerals, Vincent is generally unhelpful, and your intrepid podcasters discuss what it means to be an Other from another Other. Susana hates Lost.

This week, Michael is VERY uncomfortable about all the murder that happened in the hatch, and Libby is NOT DOING WELL. A dream Ana Lucia wants Eko to help Locke find the Question Mark, a real thing that is both said and discussed in this episode. Locke is uncharacteristically unenthusiastic about his Island Destiny, but then, they find ANOTHER HATCH!!!!!!!!! As for us, we discuss the pointlessness of Liturgical back alleys, decide on a perfect different TV character to replace Jack, Phil fails massively on his Beatles knowledge, and we finally uncover Rachel’s ABSOLUTELY HATRED of the song “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”. Susana still does not like Lost.

The episode this week is just...weird in every single way. It’s an Ana Lucia episode this week! On the island, she is have a really rough time with Fake Henry and Sawyer, and in flashbacks, she goes through some WACKY ANTICS ON A WEIRD VACATION. Meanwhile Michael is back, and bring with him Tales Of The Others. As for us, Phil JUST CAN’T STOP stepping on Rachel’s Quote of the Week, we discuss how the writers of this show probably just threw darts on a board to decide who bangs each other, and we view the greatest thumbs up in history. Also, Phil saw a cool bird this week and is excited to tell us about it!

This week we get an episode about people on this island who don’t suck, Rose and Bernard! Unfortunately a fair amount of this is ruined by Jack going into the jungle and screaming for eternity. Bernard tries to build a sign like a child stuck on an island would, and Locke is just NOT HAVING IT with The Button. Also discussed: Dad music, what a combination of Patrick Stewart and Woody Harrelson would look like, and under what circumstances one should chop off a leg. Susana still does not like Lost.

Season 2, Episode 18: Sawyer Finds Many Wrong Ways to Eat an Oreo (CW) This week’s episode was so problematic, we decided it would be appropriate to have a content warning. So, CW: This episode contains discussion of food and body shaming issues, eating disorders, mental health stigma and problematic ways that mental health issues and facilities are often depicted in television, particularly in 2006. On the island, Both Hurley and Henry are having Very Bad Island Days, Eko builds maybe a Starbucks, and Susana continues to ABSOLUTELY SCHOOL US in television. Also this week, our apartment is haunted by the ghost of sawdust. Yeah...strap in, kids, this is a weird one. I don’t know if anyone likes Lost this week.

It’s a Locke episode this week, and Rachel and Phil both super like it! Locke’s legs, and also self, just CANNOT get a break, Jack plays poker, and things in the hatch become extremely problematic! As for us, Phil educates us about commonality of poker hands, and we contemplate cock consequences. Susana still does not like Lost.

This week on Lost, Sawyer calls a Judy Blume book “predictable” and that is pretty much the greatest thing that’s ever happened (it’s got nothing to do with the plot, but is just very good). It’s a Sun episode this week, and we see shades of Old Jin, pleasing no one. In the hatch, Jack and Locke have a weird pissing contest around Henry (but not literally), and Ana outsmarts them all! As for us, Rachel apologizes to Season 2 for not being as bad as she thought, and we continue mess up Claire and Kate’s names for all eternity. Susana didn’t hate this episode of Lost!

Remember that time Claire disappeared for like two weeks? Neither do we! This week, we get a Claire episode that would have been super helpful last season! Meanwhile Jack and Locke continue to annoy everyone, everyone is SUPER WEIRD to Henry Gale, and we learn more about Ethan, that guy Charlie straight up murdered. As for us, Rachel tries to make puns, and fails. Susana still does not like Lost.

As a holiday treat this year, we play a Lost game with Susana and ABC’s 404 page. And you at home can play along with us!

It’s a “Kills All Hope” Sayid episode this week. This is a SUPER DISJOINTED episode of Lost, probably the most so far. On the island, we solve some ranch dressing problems, debate Sayid’s hair lengths, and also there’s this tree frog. As for us, Susana becomes disgusted at finding herself agreeing with Jack about something, and we check in with Susana about what Lost is about. Susana still does not like Lost.

This week, as promised, we get the reason why Locke kept all those Virgin Mary statues! Charlie faces the consequences of his unnerving baby behavior and we again see confusion in distinguishing Scott from Steve! As for us, we encounter awkward probably improved dialogue! Susana makes bold statements about the ratio of Things that Happen and That Don’t Happen on Lost! And we come up with an idea we’ll do for the Finale of the show! Susana still does not like Lost.

Season 2, Episode 12: A Hard Shaft’s Night Remember how last season, we had The Rough Middle? Well we’re in season 2, and this season we have The Weird Middle! But get this: This episode contains quite possible the BEST SCENE IN LOST SO FAR, AND POSSIBLE THE BEST SCENE IN ANY TELEVISION SHOW EVER. It’s a Charlie episode this week, and it’s whiplash-y as hell. Susana continues to make Phil and Rachel look like television idiots by being a professional writer, and we also answer some emails, which devolves into us just talking about animals for a long, silly time. Susana still does not like Lost.

This week, Rachel starts making active noises of unhappiness before we are even two minutes into the podcast, so you KNOW it’s a Jack Episode! On the island, Michael is GOING TO LOOK FOR HIS SON, and Jack is, of course, severely butthurt about it all and makes everyone go look for him. Also this week, Jin and Sun are excellent, Susana goes MAD WITH POWER, and Phil drops his cell phone on our recording table in disgust. Susana still does not like Lost.

It’s an Ekosode this week! And after that pun, we forgive you if you never listen to this podcast ever again. Also this week, after 35 episodes, Susana finally realizes that no one during the opening credits of Lost actually says the word “Lost”, which somehow we to mentioned to her up until now. That’s our bad, you guys - but hey, Susana learned a thing about Lost! Also discussed: Phil’s a man of musical surprises! Susana still does not like Lost.

This week on the Island, Sawyer is still doing badly, Jin doesn’t wear a shirt, and we see the return of Marshall the Marshal! We also get some extremely Lost bullshit, and we begin to see the budding romance between Locke and Mr. Eko (which we are not sure if we should call LEKO or EkoLockate). As for us, Rachel can’t tell bus stations apart from post offices, Susana likes Lost more when there are horses in it, and we ponder the difficulties of working in a props department. Susana still does not like Lost.

Season 2, Episode 8: Some Yo-yo with a TV This week on the island, Ana Lucia is having a Very Bad Day, along with Sawyer and Sayid. Jack is still being an asshole. The Others are becoming realer with each passing episode. We also get the FIRST MEETING of Locke and Mr. Eko, and Rachel decides they are in love. Also discussed, Rex Harrison talk-singing, deliberately written unlikable female characters, the end of the fuck hutch, and Susana’s EXTREME dislike of Batman v Superman. Susana still does not like Lost.

We’ve reached another one of Rachel’s Top 5 Least Favorite Episodes of Lost! How would you like to redo Season 1, in a single episode, with people you don’t know at all and therefore care WAY LESS about??? ‘Cause that’s what we get!!! Only this goes a lot faster, and has a lot more Others Attacks. As for your Intrepid Podcasters, Rachel empathizes with Pee Dude after he doesn’t follow the established Pee Rules, Susana doesn’t know as much Guys and Dolls as she thought, and Lost continues to be horny for plane crashes. Susana still does not like Lost.

This week on Lost, the Plane Back People walk for awhile and Sawyer is Not Doing Well. Meanwhile people lecture Claire about the best way to take care of Aaron, and the writers try very hard to make us care about Shannon. We also encounter the reappearance of Hospital City (complete with Bad Hair Jack)! Rachel also discusses her amazingly sweet and stupid dog, and Phil tries to convince us to make our podcast a Twitch stream. Susana still does not like Lost.

This week, Rachel nominates this episode of Lost as containing the Second Worst Title of a Lost Episode of All Time! On the island, the Backend Plane People walk, Sun loses her wedding ring and Rachel screams at the screen telling here where it OBVIOUSLY IS, and Michael, Mr. Eko and Jin Do A Whole Plot That Doesn’t Matter. On our end, Phil evaluates the Many Prisons of Jin as well as Mr. Lee, The Most Normal Man In The World, we learn we can drink orange juice seductively, and we discuss Hurley’s Horribly Idiotic Understanding of Korea. Also, Rachel and Susana explain how to play their Favorite Most Super Hilarious Game Ever, which is AWESOME NO MATTER WHAT PHIL THINKS. Susana maybe thinks Lost is not awful?

This week on the Island, Hurley has to decide what to do with all of the food and we get flashbacks of pre-lottery winning Hurley and his friend, ChickenBuddy FriendBoy. We also realize that Rose is the exact opposite of Jack, confuse Steve with Scott some more, and have a question for YOU, our wonderful audience, about our New Outtro Music! Also this week, we discuss Rachel’s pathological fear of masks, Phil uses a hilarious voice, and Susana gets angry before we even get out of the introduction. Susana still does not like Lost.

Here on this Island, everything is CHANGING, except for the fact that Jack is still SUPER ANGRY ALL THE TIME. Sawyer gets more and more injured, we meet slightly more people, and we get Depressing Locke Flashbacks! Also, Sayid wins the awards of Best and Most Rational Character Award! We also are introduced to the Dharma Initiative, aka some of the very BEST of the Lost Bullshit! Susana still does not like Lost.

This week, Phil is sick, Rachel TRIES SO HARD TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE THIS PODCAST, AND...Susana just hates this show so much, guys. In the meantime, Michael and Sawyer cannot stop griping at each other while lying on bits of broken raft! Isn’t this fun? Susana hates Lost, and also us for making this podcast continue to be a thing.

We effed up this week, everyone! Due to scheduling errors and the fact that Rachel has been going to essentially Every Wedding On Earth in the past 9 weeks, we don’t have a new episode this week. So please accept our humble offerings: a terrible pun name, and a very short episode that includes Rachel asking a couple of random people who have not seen Lost what Lost is about. We promise that we will be back next week with a new episode, dissecting Season 2 Episode 2 of Lost, on which People Lay On Raft Bits For Awhile. Presumably, Susana still does not like Lost.

Welcome back, intrepid listeners! IT’S SEASON TWO TIME!!! We are back after our summer hiatus with some fun stories about what we did on our summer hiatus, and NOW WE ARE BACK TO LOST! And it’s a Jack episode, so we are pretty much immediately unhappy to have to be dealing Jack the Baby King of the Island again. Susana continues to IMMEDIATELY call plot points ahead of time, much to the extreme frustration of Rachel and Phil, to the point where we wonder why we even bother at this point. We also answer some emails, talk about Jurassic Park, and realize how much Below The Hatch reminds us of Portal. Susana still does not like Lost.

LAST EPISODE OF SEASON 1! Susana is the happiest she has ever been on this podcast. We finally meet THE SMOKE MONSTER, FOR REALLY REAL. Locke has a buttload of Island Faith, Sayid explodes a small part of Charlie’s head, and we get the beginning of the long and arduous journey of Science Vs Faith conversations between Locke and Jack. Meanwhile on the ocean, things on the raft go suddenly HORRIBLY AWRY. As for us, Rachel makes a good bird sound and likes it when people are friends, Susana makes some amazing puns, and Phil finally gets to make his Team Dyno joke. We also do a pretty good recap of what the show Lost is about thusfar. Susana still does not like Lost, and is not looking forward to Season 2. But the rest of us are! We’ll be on a hiatus for the month of August, but we will be back with Season 2 on September 6th, 2017!

This week we tackle part 2 of 3 of the Season 1 finale of Lost! The Others are coming, quite possibly for Turnip Head, and Team Dynamite is working hard to live up to their team name. Arzt and Hurley have quite possibly the best conversation in Season 1, and Jack and Locke have quite possibly the most pointless conversation in Season 1. Meanwhile Charlie makes a baby bjorn, and Sawyer reads all the bottle raft messages and has an amazing conversation with Walt. Also this week, we discuss Muzzy, the remarkable new video language program for children, Rachel’s bad a bird noises, and we get the best version of the Lost Walking Music to date! Susana gives Lost a resounding “Meh”, which means we are moving up in the world!

We’ve made it to the final episode of Season 1 of Lost, which is actually 3 episodes! We break them down in weekly installments so that you don’t have to endure a 3 hour listening process. Also we have a theme song now! On the island, everyone is freaking out; there’s a big pillar of black smoke in the distance, THE OTHERS ARE COMING. Which our islanders treat as a perfect time to get this raft OFF THIS ISLAND. As for your podcasters, Phil is the Boy Who Cried Storms Off, some of us are bad at Star Wars, and we get Rachel’s Favorite Scene So Far. We also discuss what will happen if the shark beats Michael Phelps in the upcoming SHARK V PHELPS RACE. Susana still does not like Lost.

Our Sisyphean task of watching Season 1 of Lost is nearly at an end! The raft is about ready to launch, and Kate wants off this island SO BADLY, which honestly, we can relate to pretty well. Jack and Locke get all horny over their desire to open the hatch, and Charlie is excited that maybe he’ll be famous again now that everyone in the real world thinks he’s dead! Meanwhile Phil learns some things about Iowa that may come in handy for travels this summer, and we continue to make many many Hamilton references. Susana still does not like Lost.

This week, PHIL IS THE WORST AND RUINS RACHEL’S DREAMS. Also we keep talking about Lost, even though both Rachel and Susana would rather talk about Hamilton. On the island, Shannon deals with the aftermath of Boone’s death, and Jack deals with the aftermath of his own stubbornness. We get a lot of awesome Sayid stuff, and Sawyer weirdly bonds with Turnip Head, the day-old baby. And hey! Susana doesn’t totally hate this episode! WE ARE MAKING PROGRESS!

This week on Lost: In Translation, we ask ourselves: do we even like this show? Because oh god no this IT’S ANOTHER JACK EPISODE. That said, there’s a lot going on on the island this week - Boone’s super fucked up, Imminent Baby is Imminent, and Jack is just...a huge asshole. Everyone on this podcast hates Jack so very much. Also this week, Phil teaches us more about pregnancy and labor, and two-thirds of your intrepid podcasters reveal their deep dark shoe-tying secrets. Susana still does not like Lost.

Stand back everyone, because Lost is the greatest television show of all time, and this episode is here to prove it to you. If you watch no other episode of Lost this season, watch this episode. Rachel and Phil are the absolute most excited. In addition to super enthusiasm about Island Shit this week, we also discuss Locke being past the pinnacle of hair, Phil’s consistent description of people storming off, and Father Dead, A Very Corpse. Plus, we take some time to talk about what Lost is actually about! Susana thinks that Lost sounds fine, I guess.

This week we have we have reached a Thing Susana Osmotically Knows About Lost: The Numbers! Rachel and Phil are excited! Susana...a bit less so. We also talk whether or not Good Ol’ Fun Time Hurley has eyes, Rousseau vs. Kevin McCallister, and being calm in the face of gunfire. And as a bonus, we get more details about how Phil leads a rich life, this time full of woodworking, and we finally figure out some media that all three of us have consumed! Susana still does not like Lost.

We’re out of the Rough Middle! Rachel is enthused! On the island, the raft is coming along, and we get the story of JIN’S DARK PAST. Shannon and Sayid flirt, secrets are revealed, and we get EVEN MORE more island violence. Also this week we learn that Phil is a sap and we come up with a GREAT Monty Python sketch. We also make a series of puns that may or may knot be terrible. (Spoiler alert: they are.) Susana still does not like Lost.

We’ve reached the last episode of the Rough Middle of Season 1! Things will get better from here on out! ...Except not in this episode, because it’s the last episode of the Rough Middle. This week Sawyer is ON A HUNT TO FIND THE BOAR WHO KEEPS MESSING UP HIS STUFF. ...Yes, we’re totally serious. Also on the island, Charlie hits stuff with other stuff! As for your intrepid podcasters, Phil leads a rich life full of bird knowledge, and we discuss the awesomeness of the sound of the American Woodcock. Also discussed: murder gun return policies, and how Charlie is neither defrocking nor deflowering coconuts. Susana still does not like Lost.

Our plane castaways have been on this island for a month now, and this week they have something to do other than, like, survive! Claire is back, and so everyone decides to go on an Ethan Hunt. Also this week, we discover how unmemorable this episode is to Rachel and how long it takes to get a tailored suit made. Susana still does not like Lost.

We’re in the Rough Middle of the season, as Rachel explains, which means another kind of inconsequential episode this week. But we do get Vincent’s origin story, and learn a little bit about Phil’s relationship with his childhood cat, so that’s always good! Also discussed: birds of eastern North America, and dudes bonding over acts of violence. Susana still does not like lost.

Oh man, everyone, this week we learn Boone’s Official Business Title! Rachel is VERY excited by this. Susana actually laughs at some of the Island Antics, but mostly is very unhappy about Locke’s sudden seemingly insane behavior. Also discussed: excellent nets, Locke’s Island Cooking Show, Ham Vs. Hams, and the importance of a high fiber diet. Susana hates this podcast.

We’ve come to one of Rachel’s Top 5 Worst Lost Episodes this week. Both Phil and Rachel ABSOLUTELY HATE this episode, which doesn’t bode well for Susana, who continues to call plot points WAY in advance. In an effort to talk about anything other than the episode, we discuss how Rachel loves wordplay, how crows crack open nuts, and provide a friendly bank robbery PSA. Also as a bonus this week, we discuss who we picked for that ancient “pick 3 characters who represent you” meme! Susana still does not like Lost.

It’s another Jack episode, and this week we see some excellent metaphors for Jack’s character development. We all make a BUNCH of unhappy sounds. Also discussed: Martha Stewart Sex Tips, Hospital City, and what may or may not be the world’s greatest hobby. Susana still does not like Lost.

GUYS. This week we are GETTING ON BOARD THE SUSANA BEING ON BOARD WITH LOST TRAIN, and SOMETHING MAGICAL HAPPENS!! You don’t want to miss it!! Also, will we ever stop calling Claire Kate and Kate Claire? NOT IN THIS EPISODE.

Things are picking up on this looney-tunes B.S. island! We meet some plane randos, a jungle stranger, and Hurley has a SECRET PLAN FOR FUN. Also discussed this week: A Phil Typo Beat, the Electric Torture Bungalow, and whether or not Rachel has seen all of Pulp Fiction. Susana still does not like Lost.

This week, we’re a hard group to keep focused. That said, we do come up with a GREAT idea for a remake of the movie ‘Taken’. Susana continues to be flabbergasted at the poor decision making skills of everyone on this island. Also, Hurley’s down a belt notch! Susana still does not like Lost.

Need we say anything else? Also discussed: the origins of Phil’s British accent, The Plane of Requirement, and the likelihood of Charlie being an earthbender. We also create a new, effective anti-drug PSA. Susana still does not like Lost.

This week on the island, as we get the story of Jin and Sun, there is a lot of fighting, and lots of people get attacked by bees. Susana continues to call the writers out on predictable plotlines. Also discussed: Rachel’s love of puppies, insufferable flirting, and the absurdity of the title of Driveshaft’s hit song “You All Everybody”. Susana still does not like Lost.

This week, Susana is aghast at how many people are on this island, and Jack needs a nap. Also discussed: Australia's lack of lemonade, Rachel's extreme love of iced tea, and we, as a podcast, attempt to take a stance as to whether or not it is reasonable to put things in drawers. Susana still doesn't like Lost.

This week it's a Locke episode, so Rachel is super excited! We also discuss airplane refrigeration, TPS reports, and men's fashion. Susana still doesn't like Lost.

This week on Lost: In Translation, we get a little bit more of Kate's backstory, a little bit more plane crash, and some terrible attempts at Australian accents. Meanwhile we still don't agree on the name of Driveshaft's hit song, and discuss sky crime and Jack Beats. Susana still doesn't like Lost.

Welcome to Lost: In Translation, a podcast wherein two friends recap episodes of ABC's television show Lost to their third friend, who has not watched Lost, will never watch Lost, and in fact becomes enraged when hearing about episodes of Lost. In our pilot podcast episode, we discuss the pilot episode of Lost! Which has a pilot in it!