Paleo Bites

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/gallimimus-paleoart-by-me--236087205460103553/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Gallimimus, a classic dinosaur and pioneer of the visual effects industry… at least for us humans. I doubt it dabbled in any visual effects work itself. From the Late Cretaceous, this 20-foot ornithomimosaur had its big scene in Jurassic Park where it ran in glorious early 90s CGI and revolutionized filmmaking to the woes of anti-CGI film bros everywhere. Also the animal itself was pretty cool too. Sorry, I probably should mention that. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/676736281530757612/)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Enhydriodon, a giant species of otter that you really otter avoid. That's the kind of humor you should expect on this show. I truly can't believe we're nearing 300 episodes. From the Early Pliocene, this 7-foot mustelid was believed to be mostly terrestrial but very comfortable in the water, akin to the tigers of today. So it's an otter not in the water? What's the otter with this thing? Again, let me reiterate: THREE. HUNDRED. EPISODES. Of this show. Or at least close to it, anyway. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://newdinosaurs.com/megantereon/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Megantereon, a fairly typical saber-toothed cat with one major claim to fame in that we have direct evidence of it hunting early humans, so any time you think there's danger in the darkness, you can thank this guy for instilling that instinct into you. Thanks, Megantereon! I really appreciate running upstairs after turning off the basement lights so the Shadow Figure doesn't get me; that's peak childhood right there. From the Late Pliocene, this 6-foot machairodontid felid has a name that really isn't indicative of its actual stature. This thing may be a slightly larger than normal cat, but “giant beast” it ain't. Unless I also am a giant beast, which I suppose I am. I certainly eat like one, anyway. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://prehistoria.fandom.com/es/wiki/Scleromochlus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Scleromochlus, a cute little dude with absolutely nothing remarkable about it on its own and is more interesting in what it evolved into; this guy was in fact an early ancestor of the pterosaurs! Celebrate, all ye boring people, in that eventually you might have more interesting descendents. From the Early Triassic, this 8-inch pterosauromorph archosaur had freakishly long legs and might have hopped all about like a demented frog. I dated someone with freakishly long legs who also hopped all around, it didn't last long. Ugh, I swear, it's only a matter of time before these descriptions will be written by ChatGPT. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://medium.com/@smartap3s/luca-and-fuca-our-great-great-great-grandmas-7880b0950e53) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-hosts Jennifer Grossman and Matt's niece Logan (against his will) discuss FUCA, the original, original life before even LUCA was a thing, which I also covered with Jennifer about two hundred episodes earlier. From the Early Precambrian, this non-cellular entity was actually quite different from LUCA, in that while the latter had cells and enzymes and other biology that makes it more akin to a living organism, FUCA is just a glob of aimless amino acids. We really can't go back much further than this on this show, which hey, thank God there's a limit.Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Dromaeosaurus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Dromaeosaurus, the namesake of the dromaeosaur family that are more commonly known as “raptors.” Which means Velociraptor is more the namesake of the family, but I'm talking scientifically! “Uh, actually, they're not raptors, they're dromaeosaurs.” Gee, thanks, Kyle. From the Late Cretaceous, this 7-foot coelurosaurian theropod had a much stronger bite than Velociraptor by a factor of three and could theoretically take down even bigger prey solo than it too. Poor Dromaeosaurus, always upstaged by Velociraptor not because it was better, but because it had the movie deal. Your big break will come too someday, Dromey. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://alchetron.com/Smok-(archosaur)) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Smok, a basal archosaur that looks like a dinosaur but apparently is not. Look, it looks like one to me, but I ain't no scientist. You should listen to them instead of this dumb show. From the Late Triassic, this 20-foot reptile was one of the top predators of its day and one of the largest of its time, facing off against the elephant-sized dicynodont Lisowicia while avoiding the rauisuchid Polonosuchus. You know what I noticed? None of those are dinosaurs! I was told in 3rd grade that dinosaurs roamed in three periods in Earth's history, the Triassic, Jurassic, and Cretaceous. This is the Triassic, is it not? Where are all the dinosaurs?! Oh wait, there's Liliensternus over there. Hi, Liliensternus! You in fact are a dinosaur. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dinocrocuta by Dmitry Bogdanov) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Dinocrocuta, which is not an awesome dinosaur/crocodile hybrid like the name suggests but is instead some lame hyena thing. Oh wait, it's actually a fricking enormous hyena thing? Eh, it's still not as cool as a dinocroc. From the Late Miocene, this 7-foot hyena thing had a bone-crushing bite and fought off saber-toothed cats like Amphimachairodus, which is pretty cool. It's like Lion King, but prehistoric and with less singing. Not none, but less. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://marchan-forest.blogspot.com/2021/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Kunpengopterus, a monkey-like pterosaur in that it had opposable thumbs, which is pretty cool I gotta say. There's no joke there, I genuinely think that's cool. From the Late Jurassic, this 3-foot wukongopterid was first thought to be just a run-of-the-mill pterodactyloid before the aforementioned thumbs were discovered, and then scientists got all giddy and it got popular again! A monkey-dactyl? That's freaking awesome! It's so awesome it's turned our usual snarky descriptions into sincere excitement! Something's wrong, we're acting too positive. We gotta make the next episode's description extra cynical to rebalance the universe. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://ar.inspiredpencil.com/pictures-2023/compsognathus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Compsognathus, famously the smallest dinosaur of all but not so famously actually not the smallest dinosaur of all anymore, not even close. It's been working out, getting yoked and stuff. From the Late Jurassic, this 4.5 foot theropod is now believed to not be part of its own little weird family but closer related to the megalosaurids and might even be even bigger than we think, and it's already way bigger than I imagined! There's working out, and then there's taking ‘roids, Compy. We all see you, you not-so-little fraud. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://newdinosaurs.com/elasmotherium/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Jaymes Buckman discuss Elasmotherium, a woolly rhino that's not the Woolly Rhino but is woolly and is a rhino, so call it whatever you want I guess. From the late Pleistocene, this 18-foot rhinoceratid came equipped with a seriously metal nose horn coming out of its face. Except not literally metal, as like modern rhinos its horn was mainly made out of hair. Isn't explaining jokes the best? Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://www.publicdomainpictures.net/ ) April Fools, puny humans! Host Emperor Splozzitrox, Supreme Ruler of the Planet Zurkabong, and co-host Karzagloth, the underest of underlings, discuss Homo sapiens, the recently exterminated ground vermin that once overpopulated this hunk of space rock named Earth, a backwater planet in the Goozapeg Sector. From the Late Pleistocene to the Late Holocene, this 5-6 foot tall hominid may not have lived the longest, had the sharpest claws or teeth, or run or swim the fastest, but damn if they didn't make an impact in their short tenure as Earth's dominant intelligence. Shame about all those reality shows and Minion memes that led to their well-deserved cosmic obliteration. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.Special thanks to Matt David Seivert for contributing to this week's episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://www.darwinsdoor.co.uk/timetour/the-ordovician-period.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Megalograptus, another nope of a creature but this time an ocean-bound nope, so it's slightly more forgivable. Wait, I've just been told they can sometimes go onto land anyway? Nope, nope, NOPE! From the Late Ordovician, this 3-foot eurypterid got its bizarre name due to being mistaken for a group of animals whose remains looked like hieroglyphs embedded on the rock, not because it was a great writer or anything. Then again, I'd read a book written by a Megalograptus. What the hell would it be about? “The Crust That Binds Us: A Politico Manifesto on Inter-Arthropod Cooperations.” Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://www.thoughtco.com/things-to-know-protoceratops-1093796) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Protoceratops, a hardy and stocky fellow with a tubby body and a grumpy attitude. I really relate to this creature. From the Late Cretaceous, this 8-foot ceratopsian lived in the desert with the more famous Velociraptor and the two of them really hit it off. They couldn't keep their claws or beaks off each other. I wonder if anyone's captured their interactions on video or… stone-agram? Dear god, what is this show? Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/347129083760903111/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Appalachiosaurus, a tyrannosaur living on the East Coast like some city slicker sellout. Never forget your Western roots here in Laramidia! Remember who you are! From the Late Cretaceous, this 25-foot theropod dinosaur is the only known dinosaur from its formation, as the fossils over there on the eastern side of North America aren't really the best preserved. Those ice age glaciers eroded them away. There's no joke here, I'm genuinely sad at the lost dinosaur knowledge. We really need a time machine. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Ceratosaurus3_1b79.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Ceratosaurus, an almost-famous dinosaur that often gets overshadowed by Allosaurus, which gets overshadowed by Saurophaganax, which just recently got overshadowed again by Allosaurus because the latter is now unfortunately dubious. At least Ceratosaurus itself overshadows poor Torvosaurus. When's the last time you heard that name? From the Late Jurassic, this 20-foot theropod had a distinctive horn on its nose, which is kinda cool, although I also have a horn on my nose every day at band practice, so it's not that cool really. I might be playing my horn wrong. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Saurophaganax-Paul-Heaston1_2121.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Allosaurus anax, the new lord of the lizard eaters after supplanting the great and now dubious Saurophaganax after a hard-fought duel. There is truly no mercy sometimes in the battlefield of science. From the Late Jurassic, this 38-foot theropod was still basically everything we assumed Saurophaganax to be and therefore just as cool in a practical sense, it just now lacks the kickass name and the individuality of its own genus, which ruins everything. Damn you, A. anax! This is officially my Pluto. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://artpictures.club/autumn-2023.html)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Michele C. Hollow discuss Temnodontosaurus, a rather large marine reptile with potentially the largest eyes of any animal ever at 10 inches wide. Sheesh, my most impressive body part in terms of size is only half that length! From the Early Jurassic, this 30-foot ichthyosaur was discovered by Mary Anning back in the 1810s and was the first ichthyosaur to be scientifically described, which is a neat piece of history. Sometimes this show can be educational! I know, it surprises me too.Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.You can find more from Michele at https://www.michelechollow.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Hippodraco-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Hippodraco, a dinosaur with a funny name that makes me think of hippos, horses, dragons, and a shipping portmanteau between Draco Malfoy and the hippogriff he tried to get killed. What a cacophony of emotions this guy brings out, especially for such a boring dinosaur. From the Early Cretaceous, this 15-foot iguanodontid was closely related to that one guy Proa we like to bang-on about, which also has a funny name. To think we're reducing these fascinating paleontological finds with jokes about similar-sounding words and bully wizards banging lion-birds. Paleo Bites has been a real journey, folks. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://fineartamerica.com/featured/styracosaurus-eating-magnolias-with-lambeosaurus-phil-wilson.html)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Magnolia, another wonderful example of a prehistoric animal we cover on this show in that it is not an animal and is also still around today. It's okay to break rules if you're the one who makes them, kids. From the Mid Cretaceous to the Holocene onward, this plant of variable sizes has big paleontological significance, okay? That's why we're covering it! It's important, I swear! Eh, who am I kidding, you've already hit “skip” on your playlist.Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://www.minizoo.com.au/eofauna-atlasaurus/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Jaymes Buckman discuss Atlasaurus, a lanky and wonky longneck that looks just wrong and quite frankly disgusts me. Look at its proportions, look at it! It's like if A.I. made a dinosaur. From the Mid Jurassic, this 49 foot sauropod had a shorter neck and more elongated limbs than its cousins like Brachiosaurus, turning it into this abomination. Seriously, I can't get over how this thing looks. It's the uncanny valley of longnecks. I want to squeeze and stretch it like play-doh until it's fixed. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Check out Jaymes at https://www.hotapollo.rocks/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://allthatsinteresting.com/lokiceratops-rangiformis) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Lokiceratops, a dinosaur with asymmetrical horns, much like my relationship with my girlfriend where we're asymmetrical in our horniness for each other. From the Late Cretaceous, this 22-foot centrosaurine ceratopsid is an example of how bilateral symmetry can be varied among different creatures. I relate, as my left butt cheek is far more swole than my right. I tend to clench more with that one when I'm nervous, you see. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Austroraptor by Fred Wierum) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Austroraptor, a dromaeosaurid theropod masquerading as a spinosaurid theropod, because that sentence is comprehensible to more than hardcore dino nerds. From the Late Cretaceous, this 18-foot meat-eating dinosaur snapped up fish in the prehistoric jungles of Argentina, as opposed to Australia like I previously assumed. That's why I got Ben here to host for me, I thought this was an Aussie! Even though Ben is not an Aussie, but a Kiwi. Eh, they're all the same to dumb Yanks like me. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://paleontologyworld.com/dinosaurs-%E2%80%93-species-encycolpedia/heterodontosaurus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Heterodontosaurus, a very heteronormative dinosaur in that it had heterodont (or “differently-shaped”) teeth. Canceled! You're canceled by the woke police, Heterodontosaurus! Love is love! Just ask Caihong, our rainbow-feathered dinosaur ally. From the Early Jurassic, this 6-foot ornithischian dinosaur lived in South Africa before its later descendants made their way to North America… kind of like another creature that is currently shadow-puppeting our presidency here in the States. Double-canceled, Heterodontosaurus! Go back to X along with your fellow elongated muskrat! No one else wants you! Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://prehistoricpark.fandom.com/wiki/Pulmonoscorpius)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Pulmonoscorpius, another nope of a nope that crept and crawled and stabbed and stung. Why don't you stay over there and I stay way over here, you big monster? I think that's an arrangement we can all agree on. From the Late Carboniferous, the 2.5-foot scorpion was an active diurnal predator rather than a sneaky nocturnal hider like its modern counterparts, which is good, as that'll make it easier for me to shoot.Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://www.thoughtco.com/uintatherium-profile-1093289) Merry Christmas! Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host and one of Santa's elves Snowdrop Jimjam Jollypie discuss Uintatherium, a big hoofed mammal kind of like a rhino but with these weird antler-things on its head like a reindeer on crack. That's the Christmas connection I'm making, anyway. From the Eocene epoch, this 14-foot dinoceratan stomped about merrily and crushed the skulls of predators much like a toddler crushing fallen Christmas tree ornaments… okay, that was a stretch. At least this once-more 100% improvised episode should go better for Matthew than the Halloween one with the demon, right? What could possibly go wrong this time?! Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.Also, credit goes to Disney for that bit of instrumental audio from The Princess and the Frog that plays near the end. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://alchetron.com/Capromeryx-minor) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Capromeryx, a teeny-tiny pronghorn with a teeny-tiny amount of information available, perfect for another teeny-tiny bite-sized episode. Dawww. From the Late Pliocene to the Early Holocene, this 2-foot hoofed mammal was among the smallest artiodactyl of all time, being no bigger than a hare. Dawww, what a cutie. So tiny, I bet it could easily be carried off by eagles and ripped apart by its beak and talons midair. Damn, where does my mind go sometimes? Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/lucas-attwell/art/Psittacosaurus-meileyingensis-752628599) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Psittacosaurus, an early representative of the dinosaurs that would later become Triceratops and Styracosaurus and the like despite looking almost nothing like one. It has the parrot-like beak I guess. Oh wait, that's how it got its name! I'm smart. From the Early Cretaceous, this 6-foot basal ceratopsian apparently had a fossilized impression uncovered of its butthole, meaning y'all should be careful with where you park your truck. You never know who might find out about it millions of years later! Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domeykodactylus by FunkMonk (Michael B. H.)) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Domeykodactylus, a pterosaur with a fabulous piece of artwork for it that was the whole inspiration for this episode. We're nothing if not easily motivated, folks. But seriously, look at that feathery coat! So fly. Haha, get it, “fly,” like pterosaurs did? Eh, forget it. From the Early Cretaceous, this 3.5-foot wingspan dsungaripterid had a stylish head crest in addition to its fire plumage, meaning this guy was fashionable for sure. It also probably ate fish and laid eggs on cliffs and flew away from dinosaurs and stuff, you know, like a real pterosaur. But hey, let me have fun imagining it as a fashionista! Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://www.everythingdinosaur.com/product/haolonggood-pentaceratops-lioutang/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Pentaceratops, a large horned dinosaur just had to one-up Triceratops in the horn quantity department, or technically two-up I guess, since five is two more than three. I'm mathing! From the Late Cretaceous, this 20-foot chasmosaurine ceratopsid actually really had three horns like most other chasmosaurines, it just had highly pronounced cheekbones that were mistaken for additional horns. Wow, this thing tried to two-up Triceratops by cheating! Shameful, Pentaceratops, shameful. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/willemsvdmerwe/art/Notharctus-tenebrosus-948425598) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Notharctus, a lemur-like creature that wasn't actually a lemur nor was it a bear, but then again it is called “false” bear so it's not technically misleading anyone. I just wonder who was dumb enough to think this was a bear to require clarification. From the Early Eocene, this 2-foot adapiforme primate lived in a time known as the Eocene Thermal Maximum, where things got really hot and rainforests covered the Earth. A worse time for everyone, basically. I don't like heat. Come to think of it, I don't like the cold either. I'm never happy. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: Art by Gabriel Ugueto)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Caihong, a beautiful rainbow-feathered ally and one of the premiere examples of the evidence of dinosaur coloration. Slay, queen! From the Late Jurassic, this 1-foot anchiornithid theropod flew its glittering body over its Chinese forest home and spread its love all over like a sparkling fairy. Step aside, cisgender men; this is truly a dinosaur for the girls, gays, and theys. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Thalassodromeus-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Thalassodromeus, a medium-sized pterosaur with a really, really big crest for its size; in fact potentially the biggest cranial crests of any vertebrate! Damn, you didn't need to go that hard, Mr. Thalass! From the Early Cretaceous, this 15-foot pterodactyloid is highly contentious in its placement in the pterosaur family tree, but currently it's believed to be a tapejarid pterodactyloid. Give one out to the paleontologists for solving all of society's real problems. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.Also it's Election Day today, so please for the love of God, if you haven't voted already, vote!!! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy Halloween! Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host/demon lord Morazmolochgallothagon discuss Diabloceratops, a dinosaur with literal devil horns and a ferocious attitude, making it a perfect new monster to enact further suffering upon Matthew's soul. Mwuahaha. Wait, what? Who's writing this?! From the Late Cretaceous, this 18-foot centrosaurine ceratopsian is another great addition to the spooky season themed episodes, especially ones that are once more 100% improvised such as this. For some reason these get a lot of downloads. Maybe it's so people can laugh at Donald making a fool out of himself. Now, off to torture Donald some more. Mwuahahaha, hahahahahahaha!!! That's right, Morazmolochgallothagon took over writing this description, by the way. Part of Matt's penance for summoning a demon.Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... Also, credit goes to Disney for that bit of instrumental audio from The Princess and the Frog that plays near the end. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: Art by Joschua Knüppe) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Alpkarakush, a medium-sized predatory dinosaur from the Middle Jurassic at the geographic midpoint of its family. A lot of mid, this guy. Maybe he isn't that great. He's mid, this one. From the Mid Jurassic, this 23-foot metriacanthosaurid was very closely related to my boy Sinraptor, the star of Matthew's Megazoic books, so it was actually quite awesome and we will accept no slander of it. Anything that brings my baby more in the public eye is a win in my book. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://dinosauralive.fandom.com/wiki/Gillicus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Gillicus, a fish with gills… you know, like literally all fish. You ain't special, Gillicus. We see you for who you are. From the Late Cretaceous, this 6-foot ichthyodectiform is most famous for the “fish-within-a-fish” skeleton, where it's the vore victim of the much cooler Xiphactinus. God, this guy is lame. What a loser. What a pushover. Actually, you know what, I can relate to this guy. I'm also a loser pushover who likes the idea of getting vored… uh, ignore that last part, please. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Udanoceratops-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Udanoceratops, a fat ugly beast with a really big head. Between this, last week's Anteosaurus, and the Eryops episode a bit ago, there seems to be a recurring theme of creatures here. See you at the Cotylorhynchus episode where we start talking about small heads. From the Late Cretaceous, this 13-foot leptoceratopsian had a really big lower jaw and chin, kind of like a Chad, but far less handsome. This guy ain't no himbo, more like an ogre or troll. Maybe I'm being too mean, though. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/willemsvdmerwe/art/Anteosaurus-340867141) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Anteosaurus, a really big stem mammal that ate and chomped and crawled and stomped all over. At least, I assume it did. We don't really know, it could have moved exclusively via unicycle. From the Late Permian, this 20-foot dinocephalian was in the group of big terrestrial Permian predators before the gorgonopsids took over as the next big terrestrial Permian predators. But since this was all pre-dinosaur times, no one cares. Do you care? Of course you don't care. I barely care and I produce this damn show. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://prehistoria.fandom.com/es/wiki/Dakotadon) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Dakotadon, also known as the genus name that usurped the North American species of Iguanodon and thus any work featuring a North American Iguanodon retroactively is this. Hey, Aladar? You're a Dakotadon now. Take all the time you need to process this, bro. From the Early Cretaceous, this 20-foot iguanodontid is one of those examples of the bones being discovered and named far before the species is officially described, meaning those paleontologists in the 1800s digging up this guy in South Dakota thought they were Iguanodon but were this thing this whole time. If only they knew! Though frankly, I doubt they would care. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/fish98/art/Antipodes-Quinkana-Concept-969634441) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Quinkana, a galloping terrestrial crocodile from Australia, because why wouldn't this be a thing? Especially on that continent, AKA Death World. From the Late Miocene to the Late Pleistocene, this 13-foot mekosuchine was also encountered by early humans, rather than being alongside the dinosaurs like it should have been. Why were you from then rather than from then? That's a good sentence. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://theconversation.com/history-mystery-solved-the-origins-of-the-falkland-islands-wolf-12637)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Dusicyon, a wolf that encountered humans on its isolated island home and then got promptly killed off by the colonists… yeah, this is a sad episode. We try our best to lighten it up, but there's only so much you can do! From the Early Holocene, this 5-foot canid as a genus lived all throughout South America, and the one we're talking about for most of this episode is specifically the Falkland Islands version, Dusicyon australis, also called the Warrah. That's neat. You know what's not neat? This episode. Seriously, this was a mistake, y'all should listen to something else.Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha.Also special thanks to Catherine Ruža for her contributions to today's episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://www.sci.news/paleontology/gremlin-slobodorum-12547.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Gremlin, a monstrous little critter with a big head and a mischievous demeanor, particularly if you feed it after midnight. Come on, we all knew that's where these jokes were heading, huh? We're all on the same page? Good. From the Late Cretaceous, this 6-foot leptoceratopsid lived in both the wet scrublands of Alberta as well as in the insides or on the wings of planes back in the 40s and 50s… that one might be a deeper cut. Just watch the Twilight Zone episode, you've seen it. Or at least one of its many, many parodies. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. His latest book, Teslamancer, just released August 27th! And mild spoiler alert... there are kind of dinosaurs in it... mwuahahaha. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://a-z-animals.com/animals/eryops/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Eryops, a large amphibian with curved teeth, oval bumps, and a big head. Hey, Eryops, why the drawn-out face? Thank you, I'm here ‘til Tuesday. From the Early Permian, this 8-foot temnospondyl had the species name megacephalus, meaning this creature's binomial name means “drawn-out face with a big head.” I really think they want us to know how big this thing's head is, guys. What a thing to be famous for! Some can sing, some can dance, some have really, really big heads. We all work with our lot in life, whether it's a lot or not. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://fossil.fandom.com/wiki/Kaprosuchus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Spencer Mayhew discuss Kaprosuchus, a running crocodilian from Cretaceous Africa that lived alongside the far bigger crocodilian Sarcosuchus, the croc-like dinosaur Suchomimus, and the croc-jawed sail-backed dinosaur Spinosaurus. It's like a who's who of croc mimics, one of whom's name literally means “crocodile mimic.” I guess it was trendy there. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 16-foot notosuchian was either semi-aquatic or fully terrestrial; paleontologists aren't quite sure. Why are they not sure? What are we paying them to dig for? I tell you, I want my tax money spent more efficiently! Paleontologists are paid by the government, yes? Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://pixels.com/featured/camelops-hesternus-front-view-corey-ford.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Camelops, a… well, it's a camel, guys. Yeah, news flash, Camelops is a camel. God, we really need another dinosaur episode soon. From the Late Pleistocene, this 7-foot camel lived in North America and lived alongside elephants, lions, bison, and wolves. A whole lot of creatures you wouldn't expect to find on this continent, yet here they were. And here was Camelops. Please still listen to this show, folks. We have so much left to talk about, I promise. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://eartharchives.org/articles/saber-toothed-salmon-teeth-more-like-tusks-than-fangs/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Oncorhynchus rastrosus, AKA the saber-toothed salmon, AKA the coolest name for a fish ever, but FYI it's not actually a valid descriptor anymore, so AKA it's a massive disappointment. A big flop. Like a fish. Flop, flop. From the Late Miocene, this 8-foot salmonid was still pretty impressive, being such a big fish that also had big outward fangs, even if they weren't saber-like canines. I just feel though that if you're name is highlighting a certain feature, you better have it as advertised, otherwise I want my money back. You hear that, Oncorhynchus rastrosus? I want my money back! And don't get it from a loan shark, I swear to God.Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: Max Bellomio, @digital_duck on Twitter) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Macrauchenia, a big hoofed mammal that either had a trunk or didn't, kind of like me when I travel or go to the pool. Either trunks or no trunks. It depends on how lazy I'm feeling. From the Pleistocene epoch, this 10-foot-tall litoptern ungulate was part of a group of mammals unique to South America that died out due to the Great American Interchange and the changing climate. Which means this one's extinction had nothing to do with humans, so we can cross that one off the list at least. Guilt-free! Yay! Ugh… Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. Also, AI voices are used in the intro in all of this month's episodes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://www.sci.news/paleontology/south-african-inostrancevia-11935.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Inostrancevia, potentially the largest of the gorgonopsids, which are a super-awesome group of creatures you should be ashamed you haven't heard of before. Have you not heard of them before? Shame, shame! From the Late Permian, this 14-foot therapsid was the size of a bear, had saber-teeth, potentially fur, and lived millions of years before the first dinosaur ever took a dump upon the Earth, which is all quite remarkable. Can you tell how much I like these guys? I'm not biased, they're just objectively awesome, and if you don't like them, you're wrong. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. Also, AI voices are used in the intro in all of this month's episodes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://www.artstation.com/artwork/zDoGPq) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Carcharodontosaurus, a big super-predator that competed with a croc-jawed dino with a sail and a croc-jawed dino without. Oh, and also a big croc. Good ol' carchar stood out by not following the croc trend! What a rebel. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 40-foot theropod was one of those unlucky dinosaurs that got blown up twice, once by whatever extinction did it in back in its day and once by a bunch of planes in a WW2 bombing run that took out its museum. Poor guy. The world doesn't treat outliers fairly, I swear. Rebels are cool, guys! C'mon! Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. Also, AI voices are used in the intro in all of this month's episodes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_lion) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Panthera atrox, which might also be Panthera leo atrox, making this an extinct subspecies rather than species. Which would be lame. I want differences in my prehistoric monsters! From the Pleistocene epoch, this 7-foot cat is perfectly themed for this great national holiday around this episode's release… that holiday in question being Canada Day of course. These were in Canada too, so it fits with that important holiday I suppose. Can't think of any other major holidays of note around this time. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. Also, AI voices are used in the intro in all of this month's episodes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Erketu-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Erketu, an obscure dinosaur named after a principle deity in Mongolian Shamanism, which means the jokes we make on this episode will surely send us straight to Mongolian hell. From the Late Cretaceous, this 50-foot macronarian sauropod had the longest neck relative to its body of any dinosaur, leading to the aforementioned terrible jokes you all expect us to make that are somehow worse this episode than ever. I hate our show's reputation sometimes.Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at Patreon.com/MatthewDonald. Also, you can get links to follow Matthew Donald and purchase his books at https://linktr.ee/matthewdonald. Also, AI voices are used in the intro in all of this month's episodes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.