Y am I like this?

Meet my lovely hairdresser - Johnny. This week he's joining me to talk rubbish about everything and give some hair advice whilst we're at it. If you'd like to see more people join me on an episode then let me know on Instagram @alyx_ross or twitter @alyxc_ross Johnny's Instagram is @hendryjameshair he's so lovely and the best at what he does. Give his insta a look or if you're in Glasgow get yourself booked in!

The icons that are N-Dubz are making me comeback! And as you can tell I am buzzing about it. This week I'm running through my favourite N-Dubz lyrics cause they are so truly beautiful and special to me. If you love N-Dubz as much as I do then let me know on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

This is all hypothetical, Kris Jenner please don't come get me. This week I've been thinking about Kardashians and if I'd be able to fight them. Usual thoughts, just girlie things. Anyway I've ranked them all and given reasons for their place in the list. Please let me know your order or any other reasons on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

Girlies it's resolution time. We all know I love a wee resolution, and this year is no different, as per I've got a wee list of small ones that I'm making this year. Let me know yours on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

Guess who got covid for Christmas. Thanks Santa. Sitting in the flat has slowly driven me to madness, as this episode probably shows. Join me in watching one of my favourite movies - Win a Date with Tad Hamilton - and listen to my probably very confusing running commentary on it. If I've not put you off or completely ruined it for you then you should watch it. If you do let me know on Instagram @alyx_ross Twitter @alyxc_ross or my website www.alyxross.com

Hey, Girlies I'm back!! Sorry for being away for so long, I'll try not let it happen again. But I'm back and don't you worry I've got notes of everything that I've done to fill you all in on all my gossip and shananogins. If you want to catch me up with everything you've been up to then please do, you can get me on Instagram @alyx_ross Twitter @alyxc_ross and NOW A WEBSITE www.alyxross.com

Happy Halloween! Halloween is a spooky time and as we know I'm scared of everything. This week I've exposed all the things that shouldn't be scary but I am terrified of. Also it's been a whole year of me speaking rubbish on here, so thank you so much for listening! Get in touch to tell me anything that you find spooky, Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

She's back! And still speaking rubbish. Must of been a long 2 weeks without my sweet, sweet ramblings, I'm sure. This week I've been thinking a lot about random celebrity products. One's that been made and one's I think should be made. Honestly some of these I think are unreal ideas, and the celebs in question should contact me to get this set up. So if you are a celeb or you have an idea you'd like to share then please do, on Instagram @alyx_ross and Twitter @alyxc_ross

Oh look who's busy again. Seriously I've too much to do, that having a superpower would for sure help. I've thought of the big ones but I don't think in the long run they'd actually be helpful. So, instead heres a list of somethings that I would consider to be superpowers and would 100% make my life easier. If you've got any mediocre superpowers that you think would be good or any genuine tips to make better use of my time then get me on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

Hodgepodge, is first of all a great word, and the perfect one to sum up this episode. I started it a week ago but as I'll explain my plan got derailed. So, now you're left with a strange mixture of thoughts from past me and present me. Hopefully it all works out. If you want to get in touch then get me on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

This week hasn't been my week, so I've decided to rank all the Xfactor songs. Specifically the winners the singles cause that's what everyone does to cheer themselves up, right? If you disagree with my order then let me know on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

Still trying to figure out how betting works, and where better to do that, than at the races. Mainly I was going for the excuse to dress up like but still educational. Also chatting this week about my unhealthy attachment to Radio One DJ's and my upset when they leave. As always please get in either on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

Don't be silly, I don't have food poisoning. That would be sensible conclusion to come to. No, no. I've thought long and hard - well a couple days - about the best foods I think would be to use to poison someone. Not that I'm looking to poison someone, promise officer. Just like to have a think on these things you ken just in case. If you can think of any better foods then please get in touch on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

I realise that sounds like I'm just super excited about kidnapping buts rules for kidnapping not, kidnapping rules as in it's cool. Promise it makes sense in the episode. I've heard others making rules for their kidnappers and I think it's a great idea. Not that I think I'm going to be kidnapped. As always get in touch by Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

Just me being a walking accident again. Also yes, I'm banging on again about being unable to sing again, but I promise there is other good chat in there.  Well I hope it's good chat.  Fun holiday stories and some stories of me being a big idiot.  Nothing new.  If you want to get involved and share any stories then get me on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross 

Me and Laura thought it would be fun to jump on the hot girl summer bandwagon. But neither of us really ken what we're doing. We thought the best place to start would be with getting Tinder. Lol bad choices these people on this app terrify me. Don't get me wrong there are plenty normal folk on it but they are far outnumbered by the mental ones. So I'm using all their bio's as content, sorry to those folk. If you ken how to actually do hot girl summer or find any funny profiles then please send them to me Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

Look who's managed to hurt themselves again. This week is very mixed bag and I do apologise for sounding like a weird therapist. But i do stand by what I said just do whatever you like and don't care about what other folk say. Also shout out to Adam for sending me PR, legend. As always get involved on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

It's about insurance and packing, but also insurance packing for holidays. Yes I am very proud of the title. Very happy with myself for it. Anyhoo, this week I also got my Covid Jab which as you can tell I'm BUZZINg about. Makes me feel hopeful for there to be fun in the future. Which you should be excited about too because it means I will actually have more to talk about. But until then you can let me know if you're also excited about getting your jab, let me know on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

And the clumsiest woman in the gym is.... me! Of course it is cause I'm actually an idiot but at least it makes for some funny stories. Well I hope you find it funny and enjoy laughing at me. There's some other stories of me getting hurt so you can laugh at those too. Sorry again for being late, just wanted to show off that I'm SOOO busy. Share your falls with me on Instagram @alyx_ross and Twitter @alyxc_ross

This is quite possibly one of the best ideas I've ever had! If it turns out to already be a thing I will be devastated, my literal heart will be broken. Seriously though someone get Mr. Spoons on the phone cause I think this will make all the money. But he might not want to work with me after causing a big scene in his pub last Saturday. Which yes, you will hear all about this week, even though it pains me to talk about. As always get in touch on Instagram @alyx_ross and Twitter @alyxc_ross

I'm almost over last weeks pain, aka not all. But I forgot about that for a minute to go on an odd rant about owning houses, cause mortgages baffle me. There's isn't much about being an adult that doesn't baffle me to be fair like. Also chatting my mini disasters of this week, so if you want to get involved then get me on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross and tell me your disasters.

Serious call out for any data recovery specialists to help me. Honestly if it was gonna happen to someone it's gonna happen to me. And that goes for all this weeks chat. Data and Gua Sha stones. 2 completely relatable topics right, well relatable cause turns out I can't get either of them right. So if you know about either please help me. Also please let me know if you've had a bad week so we can be distressed together, let me know on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

I don't even know what to say about this - clearly got no chat this week. Many apologies for what you're about to listen to you. Chat on how good I used to be in heels and how I need to retrain on them and then some real strange rambling to enjoy. As always please get in touch with any rubbish chat - cause clearly I've got lots of rubbish chat - on Instagram @alyx_ross and Twitter @alyxc_ross

It's my birthday!! Can probably tell I LOVE birthdays, make me dead excited. In honour of it being my birthday here's a story of one of the potentially stupidest things I've ever done - I know that's quite a high bar. Enjoy laughing my embarrassment and maybe I'll have something daft to say next week if I make a tit of myself again this year. Let me know any funny birthday stories on Instagram @alyx_ross and Twitter @alyxc_ross Also just hit 1K listens and I'm buzzing about it so thanks so much!!

I can't sleep!! So like any sane person, I wrote down a list of my thoughts and now I'll share them as a - probably stressful - insight into my brain. Honestly I so sorry for what you're about to hear. Seriously if you have ANY tips on getting to sleep, please let me know cause clearly I'm loosing it. Also apologies to all early birds in advance. Get me on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

Plot twist I've actually had things on this week - shocking.  Which is good but also bad cause when I'm tired, the one brain cell I have leaves me.  This week we're talking meeting idols, crying and losing my keys.  Losing my keys is a constant in my life and as it turns out is usually related to drinking.  So is it really my fault or is the drink?  Probs both.  As always please get in touch on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross 

Heavy embarrassed I didn't know the numbers of layer there were in hell, feel like I really should have.  This week has been a WEEK so I'm having a wine and speaking shite, so blame any mistakes on the wine.  Also please for goodness sake stop cutting cakes with wine glasses PLEASE!  If one of your layers of hell is listening to me speak drivel for hours on end then let me know on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross and I'll considered trying harder to be less annoying, maybe.

In one of my many unrealistic life scenarios, I often think about when I'm on Sunday Brunch. Sunday Brunch is the sole reason I make it through Sundays at all. So cheers Tim, cheers Simon for that. Honestly this week doesn't really have a topic it's just speaking nonsense - nothing new but still hope you enjoy. Please share your Sunday Brunch love with me on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

I've had THE most boring week!! Honestly, I don't want to look at a keyboard any longer. So in attempt to entertain myself this week I've gone on a mad rant about how I think sharing a bed sounds like a punishment for a crime I did not commit. No, this does not affect my life, I sleep alone and don't have anyone that would need to share my bed but I feel upset by it. So, please if you agree then please let me know on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross cause I can't be the only one passionate about this.

This week has shown me I've spent too much time alone and I'm not ready to be a functioning member of society yet. Might need some lessons first. This week I'm speaking interview embarrassment and my one of my favourite work stories ever. Only me. Please let me know your funny work stories to make me feel better thanks. Instagram @alyx_ross and Twitter @alyxc_ross

Big week - I left the house to go somewhere that wasn't the shop! Wild I know. However that was only 1 day so the rest is ramblings of being trapped in the house. This week we're talking diaries and doctors. The diaries are mine however the trips to the doctor aren't and I seriously hope they never happen to me. Sorry for anyone who's medical emergency I laughed at. If you've got any embarrassing A&E stories then please let me know on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross - promise I'll only laugh a little.

I know you've all been DYING to know the result of pizza experiment, well they are finally here and I took the experiment very seriously. Also week I'm chatting how I think about lads based off their handwriting. I sounds mental but I think it makes complete sense. There's actual;y a lot of handwriting chat this week, didn't realise I think about it so much. If you've got any thoughts on handwriting or also get fear when starting a new notebook then let me know on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

This week has hit a lot of people hard.  I'm definitely not the only person upset and outraged at the news this week.  I still want this podcast to be about laughing but it's also important to speak about the bigger things.   It's not all serious, if you're in need of a laugh then please enjoy my pain of online shopping.  How does it look so different to the picture?? ASOS be hurting my feelings.  If you want to get involved in any topics serious or not then please do on Instagram @alyx_ross and Twitter @alyxc_ross 

Think I must of banged my head when I fell out the shower this week cause I've had a thought. Know what you're thinking, me having thoughts that seems dangerous. But I actually think it's a good one. I'm making a change to stop doing insta happy birthdays and I know I sound dramatic but I already feel better for it. Please let me know I'm not the only person who gets stressed about making them. Other than I'm talking more oven disasters and a hard for a certain type of birthday card. Get in touch with your thoughts on this weeks subjects on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross Thanks for listening!!

I'm making a stand against something I hate with a burning passion - fun fact icebreakers. Who decided they were a good idea? And why? I've never met anyone who likes them, so I'm starting a campaign that we should all come together to get rid of them. This to this weeks episode to hear my convincing argument about it. I'm also chatting about everyday human things that I'm just awful at and I've nae clue why. So if your also a bit of a shambles of a human lets be friends, you can get in touch on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

Can't believe no one has thought on this before?! How good would that be?! If you're a drag queen then I have plenty more ideas in this weeks episode that you can have free of charge - you're welcome. Can you tell I've been watching both Tracy Beaker and Drag Race UK this week they've both merged in my brain but I'm not at all mad about it. If you've watched My Mum Tracy Beaker or Drag Race this week or got so unreal ideas for who you'd be on snatch game then I'd love to know! Get me on Twitter @alyxc_ross or Instagram @alyx_ross

Happy Valentines Day! Call me a sap but I think it's a nice holiday to tell the folk you love, that you love them. Plus get to eat lots of food, what's not to like?? This week I'm also talking snowmen and doing youtube dance workouts. Don't think the postie was as impressed with my dancing as I was - personality thought I was Beyonce. Other than dancing like a dafty, I'm gonna be spending my Valentines getting dressed up to sit in the living and drink - any excuse eh. If you've got more exciting plans then let me know on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

Ever have one of those days were every little tasks becomes a nightmare? Well that was me yesterday, well kind of everyday but more so than usual yesterday. In exciting news though, I finally have an air frier I can use!! I'm embarrassingly exciting about what I can put in it. So if you've got any suggestions then please send me some cause I will defiantly try it. Get in touch on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

Turns out if you laugh at kids baking on Junior Bake Off karma comes for you - in the form of cheesecake. It's devastating, heartbreaking story of gal who just wanted to make a beautiful cheesecake. Swear I'm not meaning for this podcast to turn into a what I eat in a week podcast, but clearly all I'm doing at the moment is eating. I'm also talking about things I thought would be real life threats as a child but turns out they don't happen so much in life. Honestly I thought quick sand was gonna be coming for me. As always please get in touch on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross to tell me things you thought were gonna be huge threats in your adult life.

Yay wifi is back so back to normal Saturday uploads!! This week me and my flatmate tried pizza crunch for the first time. I was unsure so I've come up with a few suggestions which would make it better, Chippers from anywhere feel free to use these as long as I get free ones, thanks. I'm also talking about the traits that everyone has which makes you think they could be a serial killer. I makes sense trust, I'll explain. And there's more talk of me being a massive irrational scaredy cat but what's new. If you want to tell me what your serial killer trait is or someone else's then get in touch on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

If you've not watched Junior Great British Bake Off then you seriously need to!! Honestly watching kids speak like 40 year olds buckles me. I myself have been doing some bit of baking myself - although the junior bakers are 100% better than me. Please let me know if you've been laughing at/with 10 year olds on tv then please let me know so I don't feel so guilty, or to send me your bakes cause I'd also love to see that, on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

Think I'm potentially the worst at packing, I actually hate it. Got to be done though as I'm moving this week. Other than chatting moving I'm also speaking about quiz show and my job working as a Quiz Host. No Bradley Walsh but I try my best. Let me know what your specialist topic would be if you were taking on a quiz. Get in touch on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! Hope you've all set your resolutions. I am a big fan of resolutions, although I go for small achievable one rather than the big life changers. This week we also say goodbye to beloved car – Obama. He's been nothing but problems but I've not nothing but love for him, despite his many, MANY faults. Please let me know your resolutions, big or small. Or if you fancy buy a lovely but slightly problematic car then let me know on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

Happy Boxing Day, welcome to limbo that is the in between Christmas and New Year. This year it feels especially limbo-like due to those supper fun covid restrictions, which lets face it are balls. So if you're feeling rubbish about it, join the team cause I'm DONE IN. This week is pure me speaking rubbish, but I hope it can take your mind off all the rubbish of the minute. Please if you want to get in touch, I'm happy to listen to any stories, send me them on Twitter @alyxc_ross and Instagram @alyx_ross

It's Christmas next week??? That doesn't feel real. Anyhoo due to Nicola's new rules there's a lack of excitement in my life, but what I do have is a sore head and a strong love for Bob Mortimer. This week I'm chatting movies - mostly Christmas ones with a small rant about Pixar new releases. Also cookergate continues in my house. As always if you want to give me your thoughts then tell me on Twitter @alyxc_ross or Instagram @alyx_ross and if you're from Pixar phone me cause we need to talk.

Welcome to another week, I'm attempting to festive but I have not got a tree yet. Well I don't know if thats through boycotting or my own general stupidity. Either way if anyone knows where I can get a venison burger from PLEASE let me know. In other news my Spotify hacker has ruined my 2020 wrapped playlist - seems rude of them. As always please get in touch with any stories on Instagram @alyx_ross or Twitter @alyxc_ross

This week I was accidentally scaring kids working as an Elf - seems rude I thought I looked cute! I don't blame the kids though, I was TERRIFIED of everything as a kid. Well as an adult too. So this week I'm chatting funny stories of little Alyx getting scared and my families lack of compassion about it. Also a wee talk about my prize possession my dressing gown! Do you call it a dressing gown or a house coat? Let me know and telling me funny stories of when you were scared as kid (or an adult, no judgement to scaredy cats here) on Twitter @alyxc_ross and Instagram @alyx_ross

Does anyone else's families do things that you thought were totally normal but the older you get turn out to be completely mental? Because it turns out my family have loads. This week I'm also talking girlie things, I'm not used to sharing that kind of things but the more we share the more normal it becomes. Plus I just wanted to show off about the compliment - although not intended as that - that I got about it. If you want to share strange stories of your family then please do on Twitter @alyxc_ross and Instagram @alyx_ross

Ratatouille the musical is taking over my life - seriously, I can't stop singing it! This is my official application to be part of that musical, I'll provide enthusiasm and that's about it. In other news I've taken my love of Queen Gemma Collins MBE (well should be) to new level, and I'm starting a campaign to make her a broadway star. If you want to join my campaign then please do, on Instagram @alyx_ross and twitter @alyxc_ross

Clearly I think I'm some sort of survival expert cause I think I'd be unreal in both I'm a Celebrity and in an apocalypse. Good job it's unlikely for either those situations to happen - we hope. When I'm done tooting my own horn about my immune system, I'm also chatting about how Boots have ruined my Christmas and about me starting to learn sign language. If you want to tell me how'd you'd get on in a survival situation then please do, on Instagram @alyx_ross or twitter @alyxc_ross

I've come to the conclusion that braces are lies and I was conned - well maybe that's a bit dramatic but when am I nae? This weeks chat sounds like it's not all gonna link together but I swear braces, hams, slow cookers, strictly, driving and betting all link beautifully. At least in my brain they do. Enjoy this weeks ramblings and let me know if you also feel lied to by orthodontist. Let me know on Instagram @alyx_ross or twitter @alyxc_ross