Close Talkers

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A die-hard fan and a total newbie watch Seinfeld together from the beginning and talk about it!

Close Talkers


    • Jun 3, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • weekly NEW EPISODES
    • 30m AVG DURATION
    • 166 EPISODES
    • 5 SEASONS


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    Latest episodes from Close Talkers

    Episode 164 - The Betrayal

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 3, 2025 34:42


    We really like this backwards episode. Is it the good Crash or the bad Crash? Derek goes blue talking about the Sixth Sense.

    Episode 163 - The Slicer

    Play Episode Listen Later May 26, 2025 37:02


    Katy likes a solid pop. Derek wants a slicer setting between 0 and 1. Elaine could have gotten out in several ways.

    Episode 162 - The Merv Griffin Show

    Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2025 24:46


    What is Popeyes favourite food? Did the cat open the door? Is this one of the top Seinfeld episodes?

    Episode 161 - The Junk Mail

    Play Episode Listen Later May 11, 2025 29:11


    Don't even bother watching this Seinfeld episode, we cover the few good parts and talk about Certs.

    Episode 160 - The Blood

    Play Episode Listen Later May 3, 2025 27:28


    Once around the block, three times a week, and I eat a plum every morning. We hate this episode.

    Episode 159 - The Serenity Now

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 28, 2025 34:58


    Derek doesn't care about the glass vase with sticks. What's wrong with Jerry's leg?

    Episode 158 - The Voice

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 18, 2025 38:12


    Katy asks the tough questions: what about the unibrow? Derek says no to everything. La la la.

    Episode 157 - The Butter Shave

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 11, 2025 28:37


    Damn you Seinfeld, you useless pustule. Katy wants Puddy to tell her to go to hell.

    Episode 156 - The Summer of George

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 28, 2025 27:38


    Maybe they are salamis up there. Maybe what this woman needs is brother husbands. Katy is not going to wear a "Team Pubes" shirt.

    Episode 155 - The Muffin Tops

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 21, 2025 26:12


    The worst episode of Seinfeld ever, or pretty good? Is it chest hair or pubes? What do you do with the stumps?

    Episode 154 - The Millennium

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2025 29:29


    The World Series trophy is trash. Calendars are made up, we say celebrate things whenever you want.

    Episode 153 - The Yada Yada

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 7, 2025 31:32


    We talk about this great episode, argue about land lines, yada yada yada, that's what she said.

    Episode 152 - The Nap

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 28, 2025 27:02


    We pitch ergonomic furniture store names. Katy likes a Kramer joke and Derek doesn't like his swimming style. George is a cozy boy.

    Episode 151 - The English Patient

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 21, 2025 28:27


    You can't have sex in a bucket. Katy wants bro instagram chefs to pour sauce on themselves. Derek's English Patient is the Sixth Sense.

    Episode 150 - The Pothole

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 14, 2025 34:51


    Katy feels like she's being hustled at the dentist. Derek doesn't want to disappoint tooth mommy. Jerry's girlfriend does the perfect revenge.

    Episode 149 - The Susie

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 7, 2025 37:05


    You either are a Kathy or you're not. Kathy and Cameron discuss names, trunks, daylight savings and a backless tuxedo.

    Episode 148 - The Van Buren Boys

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 31, 2025 28:41


    Shallow Hal, Envy, Del Taco and also a good Jerry episode. The Van Buren Boys never hassle their own kind.

    Episode 147 - The Comeback

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 24, 2025 35:00


    A pretty good episode about shrimp and comas. We release on Fridays now.

    Episode 146 - The Money

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 17, 2025 24:40


    Tuna and tomato on a cinnamon raisin bagel with a chocolate raspberry coffee, please! The Cadillac changes hands and we stare at a map.

    Episode 145 - The Little Jerry

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 9, 2025 33:47


    This used to be a Seinfeld podcast. We discuss incels, optical illusions and Instagram.

    Episode 144 - The Andrea Doria

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 26, 2024 26:15


    Does surviving a shipwreck give you perks for life? Does taking dog medicine make you a dog? Is Elaine still dumb?

    Episode 143 - The Abstinence

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 19, 2024 31:49


    Derek says don't eat snow, eat people. Katy thinks cooking makes it less bad. It's an A+ George episode but we barely talk about it.

    Episode 142 - The Chicken Roaster

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 5, 2024 29:19


    Rat hat. How many Rs in Strawberry? Kramer disgusts us all, including himself.

    Episode 141 - The Checks

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 28, 2024 28:19


    Laughs do not equal a good episode. Our song might not be what you'd expect.

    Episode 140 - The Fatigues

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 14, 2024 34:27


    Frank sent 16 of his own men to the latrines that night. Katy and Derek debate how many pots one needs. You never need to see the vomit.

    Episode 139 - The Package

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 7, 2024 26:23


    The gang's all here, doing things and going places. We talk about mukbangs.

    Episode 138 - The Little Kicks

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 31, 2024 24:29


    We're a napkin-positive household. George is bad and Katy likes it.

    Episode 137 - The Bizarro Jerry

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 24, 2024 26:52


    Derek's biggest fear is accidentally ordering lobster at a restaurant. Katy wants to know the distance in time. Elaine isn't in the mirror world.

    Episode 136 - The Soulmate

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 10, 2024 29:32


    There was a low rumble, a metallic squink, and a baffling galonk. Katy reconsiders the Bic Round Stic. Derek's nails don't grow like everyone else's.

    Episode 135 - The Foundation

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 3, 2024 23:08


    We try to remember how to podcast and more importantly, whether Katy has seen any of the Star Trek movies (she hasn't).

    Episode 134 - The Gun

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 8, 2024 27:25


    We perform a table read of the abandoned Seinfeld episode "The Gun/The Bet", written by Larry Charles and deemed not funny enough and too dark to continue production. How many items can we make our child fetch so she's won't hear us say "sex"?

    Episode 133 - Summer Bonus

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 1, 2024 22:22


    Derek and Katy square off in the battle of the century to find out...whose cereal choices are better. DM us your vote for Katy's or Derek's lists @closetalkerspodcast on Instagram!

    Episode 132 - The Invitations

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 20, 2024 30:34


    Susan expires. George rejoices. Jerry dates himself. Kramer says hello. Elaine is also there.

    Episode 131 - The Wait Out

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2024 33:35


    It's better than Ghandi. Somehow we get into conservative mouthpieces and "reversaries". Susan chooses the chicken.

    Episode 130 - The Bottle Deposit

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2024 39:49


    Katy's mic malfunctions and we hardly miss her. Derek reminds us of his deranged past as a bottle depositor.

    Episode 129 - The Calzone

    Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2024 33:12


    Warning: This episode is pretty gassy. Jerry Seinfeld thinks toxic masculinity is knowing how to order a drink. Derek doesn't believe blond hair and brown eyes is a thing.

    Episode 128 - The Wig Master

    Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2024 24:58


    Thick does not mean chunk. We keep it short and silly for this terrible episode.

    Episode 127 - The Friars Club

    Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2024 27:02


    The Friars Club serves turd burger. Derek has strong feelings about conductors again. Katy's mic was off and no one noticed.

    Episode 126 - The Doll

    Play Episode Listen Later May 9, 2024 29:17


    This episode goes off the rails and never comes back. Nothing we say can be used against us in a court of law.

    Episode 125 - The Shower Head

    Play Episode Listen Later May 2, 2024 32:51


    Katy wants a steady flow, medium pressure. Derek doesn't know what the other side of cabbage is. And can your pee tell you about your bones?

    Episode 124 - The Cadillac

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 25, 2024 43:16


    Marisa Tomei loves short, stocky, funny bald men. Elaine loses her mind. Jerry is a very good boy. Derek thinks he is not related to his cousins.

    Episode 123 - The Seven

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 18, 2024 31:14


    Elaine covets a bike, George claims a name, Kramer asked for Dijon and Jerry can't solve a mystery. That happens!

    Episode 122 - The Caddy

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 11, 2024 36:48


    This can only mean one thing - George is dead. Elaine's prank backfires and we describe how to steal a Ford Ranger.

    Episode 121 - The Rye

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 4, 2024 29:01


    We're in a Taylor Ham scenario. Katy maintains overhand would get the rye up to the third floor. Derek tries not bring up butt chugging but it happens anyway. We all blame Rusty.

    Episode 120 - The Gum

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 21, 2024 21:34


    Where's Susan? George is worrying an old friend with his behaviour, and everyone else is worried about Lloyd Braun. Elaine's shirt could be wetter.

    Episode 119 - The Sponge

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2024 32:51


    Derek believes a sponge will always get used. Katy had to do a hard target search for eye wipes. Kramer's walk is not worth talking about.

    Episode 118 - The Pool Guy

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 7, 2024 29:29


    Hello and welcome to this episode. Why don't you just tell me what you thought of it? We discuss driving positions, buffers and ballzookas.

    Episode 117 - The Secret Code

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 29, 2024 37:01


    Take Part in the fun! Elaine is obsessed with a man who doesn't remember her, and George reveals his secret to Jacopo's mama.

    Episode 116 - The Soup Nazi

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2024 46:29


    We get censored this episode, and it's not for saying Soup Nazi too much. George is disgusted with Jerry. Kramer is roughed up by toughs.

    Episode 115 - The Hot Tub

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 15, 2024 29:18


    Elaine tries to write catalogue copy and defends her alarm clock and microwave skills. Katy asks Derek to banter.

    Episode 114 - The Wink

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 8, 2024 29:40


    Too much happens in the span of two days. George winks constantly. We agree head-to-toe doesn't make sense.

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