DRUNK PARENTS

Ya-ya-ees. Inevitable cosmetic surgery. The Pattern. Some quick parenting updates. Rachel’s side piece. And another round of Cheat, Leave or Poison. What’s a 14 month break between friends? We might be a bit rusty but we’re back, and throwing down into your ear cavities with an extended episode. We missed you!

Failure Cocktails. Bed Beats. The cure for marriage and a naughty giveaway. H&M A-holes. Snapchat dysmorphia. And an unnecessary plug. Our unplanned hiatus is over and we’re back, baby! We missed those ear holes of yours!

Nor’easters. Olympic anticipation. The weighted blanket we never knew we needed. An offensive almost-gift. A challenge for Moms & Pops. And a desire for actual politicians. Go figure. Here’s to starting your year off right - with quiet kids and a good cocktail.

CandyChatas. WTF is up with crypto currency. A fun way to get your freakier freak on. The glory of Pooks. Positive talk for 2018. And a special holiday PSA. Join us, as we crush this Christmas Season as best we can without the help of an angry elf.

Winter margaritas. The most magical, unsexy place on earth. An emotionless, family departure. A guilty music pleasure. And the anticipation of the night ending with O's. All kinds of improper things to share with loved ones over turkey and alcohol. All the alcohol.

Suck It, Thanksgivings. The Do's and Don'ts of slanging. An afterschool special moment. The making of an unwanted core memory. And friending old crushes. This episode is like pumpkin spice for your ears. So settle in and enjoy.

Kentucky Mules and Medicinal Wine. A second life for genitalia. An occasional Dark Phoenix. A weekend with Wolverine. A morning talk show fail. And an f'ing ode to autumn. We've been saving up the inappropriateness for a month. It's time to uncork it. Enjoy.

Gin Namers. Going down the rabbit hole of what's hopefully an impossibility. The horror of Yankee Candles. Goodwill Date Night. And prepping for the future dating life of our daughters. Enjoy listening with wine, whiskey, beer or Zima. But c'mon, Zima? Really?

Anniversary Palomas. Back to school stress joy. The search for a nanny. An unforeseen bitmoji incident. Lame and sexy sex games. And reflecting back on a year of podcasting. A year! That's a lot of booze and inappropriateness. Here's to keeping it going. 

Wondermelon Martinis of Equality. How to know if you're old. Invisibility as the smart choice. Money or youth. 36 questions to love. And the secrecy of making out with a stranger. Good news: If the eclipse burned out your retinas, you can still listen!

Vodka on the rocks. Aging ladies bringing the sexy. People be doing it in the future. But less in Japan. The Salvation Army Date. And Steve's favorite new place for shirts. Here's to another episode, strong cocktails and aligned chakras.

Florida mules. Radio edit rules. Chinese internet slang. Trending emojis. Scary bots. And another round of Cheat, Leave or Poison. May your parenting be easy and your cocktails be strong. And by all means, emoji the sh*t out of us.

Dueling spicy cocktails. Gorgeous ladies of wrestling. Snapchat stalking. The Ozzy Osbourne Gene. Derma rollers. And sexual bucket lists. Speaking of, do you have one? If not, you should totally make one after listening. Have fun. Make sexy choices.

Happy Cola Hooch. Giving Instagram Live a try. School boys sticking it to the system with mixed results. A sexy playlist. And pairing boardgames and cocktails (Thanks, @designerdaddy). This episode pairs well with a cocktail, a pleasant evening, and keeping the kids busy with the iPad. Enjoy.

Summer beauties. A film that doesn't need Steve's charity. Vanity license plates. Ass-kicking consequences. A jury duty anomaly. And Drunk Parents' types both shallow and deep. It's an episode that pairs well with a chilled summer cocktail. Cheers.

Rosemary Lemon margaritas. Going too far. Hashtags for kids. The rise of finstas. A euthanasia coaster. And sex in public. It's been a few weeks but we're back with our inappropriate ways! Happy almost summer.

Schroder Daiquiris. An internet hero. Cosmetic surgery intentions. The greatest Mother's Day gifts a dad could give. The cheater starter pack. And a Drunk Parents' Life hack. Hope you have a fantastic day, mom's everywhere.

Limoncello martinis. The sapiosexuals among us. Not all strip clubs are created equal. Fair trade porn. And the given of sending dirty pics to your spouse. Rachel and Steve's moms probably want to pass on this one. Everyone else, buckle up and enjoy.

The Strawberry Dobso. Overrated internet privacy. The Married Advantage. The conflict of cat calls. An upsetting doppelganger. And dueling mid-life crises. If we leave you with one message this week, it's that you'll be glad you did.

Our go-to beverages. "Uncanny Valley" and other dictionary-worthy phrases. Pride in music. Date-night boundary issues. And why we've got way more chill than that couple in that movie. As always, we take it to a place many couple dare not go. Join us, won't you?

Juice pouch cocktails. More internet slang defined. A new Aquaman obsession is born. The moral dilemma of the circus. And the gold standard of relationship tests. Cozy up for a listen. Your ears will be smiling from themselves to themselves.

Ancho Reyes Verde. Why no male lingerie? The dark web. Little girls kicking ass. A relaxing gift from the internet. And 4 rituals to tweak your brain for happiness. In other words, just the thing to usher in a new spring.

Dueling Boston Sours. Virtual immortality. Shopping for sex dolls. Fearless Girl. And a lesson on the Illuminati. Since the weather isn't doing it this week, let our latest episode warm you to the core. Enjoy the cozy listening.

Classic Margaritas. An original song for the drinking mom. Male pattern blindness. Juggling parenting, partying and pumping. And another round of Cheat, Leave or Poison. Rachel's sister Michelle joins us this week and things get a little country. Y'all are gonna enjoy.

Solera Whiskey. Keeping your fake death a secret. Jade eggs in the hooha. The weirdest name for a kid ever. And mental F*ck Leaps. Oh yeah, we go there. Have a listen, come with us and join the party.

Blackberry bourbon smashes. Slang auditions. Our neighborly treasure. An alleged cure for hangovers. How old are we, again? Pintimidation. And Drunk Parents Voicemail. We're keeping it fast, loose, funny and moderately-inebriated for your listening enjoyment.

Highballs. An American treasure. Steve's progress as a ghost dater. The horrible observations of a three year old. And Rachel's instant Valentine's Day classic. Whether you wanna give romance a kick in the balls or the ass, our ramblings are just the thing.

A meme-inspired cocktail. Coffee naps. Social media legacies. How to ruin your chances of scoring with your wife. And Winona's confusion. Pour yourself a tall one and get all pop culturey with us as our episode count reaches the legal drinking age.

The healing power of Hot Toddies. The last Star Wars? Ice cream drama. Adult magazines not to the rescue. Barbie on the rise. And the true nature of mini-van haters. It's getting nutty out there so here's your weekly dose of audio Lexapro.

A cleansing cocktail. Young Thug's genius. Sexual frequency as it relates to happiness. And that time Steve met our new President. This episode is like a face smashing into a Hawaiian roll. In a good way. You'll understand when you listen.

The birth of a cocktail. A raunchy pop song revelation. Inspiration from beyond the grave. An excuse to drink with your spouse. And Steve enters the dating pool as a 35 year old woman. All in the name of helping you kick off 2017 with a smile.

Moscow Mules. 2016 at its best. Resolutions done right. The Magnificent Seven. Low-volume loving. A taser to the face. And an axe-throwing first. May your buzz be mighty as you listen and ring in the new year.

Well-priced pinot. A tribute to a fallen drunk parent. Truck stop waitress wisdom. Baby boomers, booze and blunts. And high fashion vs. the male libido. Things get no less inappropriate when Rachel's parents stop by the studio. Merry, merry everyone.

We're taking a break from our usual format to watch Elf. You should watch along with us. We'll let you know when to press play. It'll be like we're sitting right next to you watching the movie. We'll let you decide if that's a good thing or if we're cotton-headed ninny muggins.

White Russians. An appeal to Mr. Krasinski. Aging versus kegels. Mind blowing Holiday Specs. And surrendering to a damn Elf. If you're Steve or Rachel's mom, you may prefer listening to holiday music over this episode. Everyone else, we think you'll enjoy.

Dobsos with 4 ounces of gin. A Christmas Card warning. An exploration of Ride or Dies. A possible phone sex venture. And a dramatic reading. Find out if it's the booze or this episode giving you visions of sugar plums.

Hot toddies. Broken parents. Political conversations with a 6 year old. Breaking princess news. And romance on the road. It's all about festive feelings for your ears with nary yet a holiday light to be seen.

Colorado Straight Bourbon. A tip for hungover parenting. The upcoming Christmas Zeitgeist. What would Bob Dylan do? Back-up spouses. And other topics that pair nicely with over-eating. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Belated Octoberfest. Threatening aliens to the rescue. Getting the most of your marriage. Why Drunk Parents will never be the first family. Rachel's debut ukulele performance. And other gentle ramblings to soothe your head place.

Rum aged like whiskey. Post-birthday party stress disorder. A moral comic strip. Chicago Cubs confusion. And another round of Cheat, Leave or Poison. Settle in for these and other blissful thoughts recorded in a pre-election world.

A batched old fashioned. The perils of male birth control. Liberating Halloween Candy. Dating advice from pandas in captivity. And a new Drunk Parents game. Pour yourself some boozy booze and kick up your feet. You deserve it all.

The Balvenie. Robot prostitutes. “Get out of jail free” cards. Baby-free airlines. And the bizarre courting rituals of mom friends. Giddy up for this week’s rootin’ tootin’ candid convo between two slightly inebriated suburbanites.

Painkillers. An aging crush. The Roller Derby daydreams. Questionable Halloween costume suggestions. And undies that send a message. All ears aboard, 'cause this train of thought is ready to pull into your brain station.

Gin rickies. Razmatazzes. The death of a "legend." And social-media-induced feelings of inadequacy. Prepare yourselves to listen to the mad ramblings of a woman with a mild concussion and a man whose balls are mere hours away from the chopping block.

Vodka, whiskey, then wine. Spitting some rhymes. Sexual fluidity. How to not talk about your kids. And the countdown to Sniptown continues. Keep your hands on 10 and 2, 'cause you're in for a wild listen.

The wine of relatives. The loss of virility. The wrath of pregnancy hormones. And Drunk Parents swag. Things are about to get real personal all up in your ear canals in this episode.

Angel's Envy. Friendship avoidance. Our podcast as birth control. And firearms an as aphrodisiac. What do these things have in common? Probably best not to think too hard about it. Just have a listen.

Rusty nails. Violence-to-hotness thresholds. An anatomy lesson from a 5 year old. And two drunk parents confessing. Strap on your feel bags everyone, 'cause the emotions be flowing like pinot in this episode.

Cocktails. Ukulele lessons. Kid leashes. And metaphorical wolves ripping the flesh off your marriage. These are just a few of the subjects we get into during our inaugural episode.