Podcasts about Gorgeous

Welcome back to the podcast folks. I've got a new season of exciting episodes with wonderful guests to release next year but I thought I'd ping this one out in time for your ‘driving home for Christmas' listening. My goal was to hit 100k downloads this year on the podcast and I'm at 84k - I'm celebrating that and leaning into the reflections in my Goodbye 2025/ Hello 2026 journal from the wonderful Selina Barker I hope you have a GORGEOUS holiday whatever you are up to and there's a pressie for you under the tree. Sending all sparkles.Claire ✨LinksJoin Sparkle on Substack on a 14day free trialAudience Alchemy - Join us - https://www.creativelyconscious.co.uk/audience-alchemy-the-live-courseDownload Invisible Trust - my new book - https://www.creativelyconscious.co.uk/invisible-trustJoin 12 Chapters Club and write your book with us for free in 2026 - https://www.creativelyconscious.co.uk/12-chapters-clubJoin my month long January Joyful Growth Challenge; co-hosted with Russell Nohelty - AI SummaryThis is Claire Venus's end-of-year reflection on her Substack journey in 2025 and running an online business. Key themes:Nervous system and safety: Claire discusses how her entire career was built on trauma responses from working in the unstable cultural/festival sector. She realized she was constantly in fight-or-flight mode, which carried into her online work. This year focused on understanding when she feels safe versus when she's pushing from fear.Stepping back from visibility: After launching her Substack book in summer 2024, Claire experienced negativity and didn't feel safe showing up. She intentionally made herself “smaller” - focusing on depth of connection with existing members rather than growth and visibility. When others became prominent Substack educators, she chose to work quietly with her membership community.Letting go of growth pressure: When her subscriber numbers started declining, instead of pushing harder, she asked “what if I just didn't do more?” This led to accepting she was enough without constant growth, posting less frequently (once weekly), and prioritizing genuine connection over metrics.Business maturation: She hit six figures, set up a proper limited company and business bank account, built a garden studio, and learned to hold larger amounts of money responsibly balancing business investments and ambition with passion for life.Future direction: 2026 will focus on collaboration and community. She's launching “Audience Alchemy” (about repurposing long-form content and building legacy) and continuing her commitment to write a book annually for 10 years (now in year 6).Her core message: Know what you're truly here to do before worrying about strategy, and build from a place of safety rather than fear. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sparkleon.substack.com/subscribe

Oh, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays one and all! It's The Life Gorgeous Christmas Spectacular. Kyle Kringle aka Kyle Theige joins Kilby and they talk favorite Christmas memories including the best gift they ever received. And, oh boy, does Kilby have a special Xmas gift from his happy childhood. It's a ventriloquist doll!! Yes, and hear the story how it happened and the famous routine Kilby did with his doll...Lenny Carr! Plus, Kyle and Kilby chat Vikings, Wolves and "Finch the sometimes Grinch" getting tossed from the OKC game. It was wonderful and it worked. Let the festivities begin. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hear award-winning columnist Dejan Kovacevic's Daily Shots of Steelers, Penguins and Pirates -- three separate podcasts -- every weekday morning on the DK Pittsburgh Sports podcasting network, available on all platforms: https://linktr.ee/dkpghsports Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

⁠Abu⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠Leo⁠⁠ close out another great year of Dune fandom by looking back at the biggest moments in the franchise in 2025, from first seaon of Dune: Prophecy to the Oscar snubs and the launch of the massively popular Dune MMO video game. Then they look ahead at all of the great Dune content coming in 2026, including Denis Villeneuve's Dune: Part Three. Get ad-free episodes and bonus content: https://www.patreon.com/GomJabbar Say thank you with a tip: http://buymeacoffee.com/gomjabbar Watch video versions of select episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@loreparty Get yourself some custom-designed Dune swag: https://gomjabbar.shop (00:00) Intro (03:33) Dune: Prophecy Was Disappointing (07:42) Dune: Prophecy Season 2 Updates (11:17) Dune: Part Two Snubbed at the Oscars (15:28) Dune Comics Deserve Better (19:51) The Folio Society Dune Books are Gorgeous (22:44) Dune: Awakening is on Life Support (28:03) Why We Stopped Playing Dune: Awakening (33:08) Dune: Part Three in 2026 (34:29) Jason Mamoa Back as Hayt (35:15) Rebecca Ferguson Back as Lady Jessica (36:06) Robert Pattinson as Scytale (38:46) Leto II and Ghanima in Dune: Part Three (44:51) Dune: Part Three Releasing Early (47:54) Timothee Chalamet Confirms TIme Jump (50:22) Chalamet's Secret Rap Career (51:25) Timothee Chalamet Has the Juice (55:45) 2026 Will Be Amazing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This work might only be 116 pages, but it feels enormous--in the very best of ways. You could study it for years and not fully comprehend its unique structure, its strange atmosphere and the uncanny originality of this prose. Listen in now to find out why Johnson is held as one of the best American writers of all time.

There's a new book out on the great Johnny Carson who many feel is the best late night host of all-time. Author Mark Malkoff joins Kilby to discuss many aspects of Carson's career as host of The Tonight Show including...the years in New York, the influence of wife Joanna, Johnny's drinking, the move to Burbank, Johnny's privacy, the bitter mean quote from Freddie de Cordova at the end of the show, the Joan Rivers debacle and...why Johnny was the best. Perhaps Kilby said it best: Johnny was smooth and sophisticated. A must listen for any late night historian. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episode 231 of World Awakenings is beyond being blessed by having two of the world's most prolific teachers of “A Course in Miracles” as our featured guests, Lisa Natoli & Jennifer Hadley. Lisa Natoli is well known as a spiritual teacher who emphasizes healing, awakenings and transformation. Her teachings are simple, down-to-earth & practical which uses a body-mind approach to awakening and recognition of your true nature. Not only is Lisa a student and teacher of “A Course in Miracles”, she is also the author of a couple books including, “Gorgeous for God: Awakening Through A Course in Miracles” Jennifer Hadley is a Licensed Minister, Counselor and Therapist, and graduated in 2006 from the Agape International Spiritual Center's Ministerial Program, founded by Michael Beckwith. Jennifer has been in private practice as an Agape Practitioner, a Quantum Counselor since 2000. As an Intuitive Spiritual Therapist, Jennifer employs her considerable intuitive skills and knowledge of spiritual principles, Science of Mind & A Course in Miracles to assist you in releasing beliefs and mental patterns that no longer serve you. Plus, she hosts her own podcast which is all called, A Course in Miracles! If you would like to purchase your own LoveTuner, just click this link!Make sure to grab your copy of Karl Gruber's best-selling book, "True Spirituality & the Law of Attraction: A Beautiful Symbiotic Relationship" just by clicking this link.To find out more about Lisa Natoli, please go to her website https://www.lisanatoli.com/If you would like to get your own copy of Lisa Natoli's book, "Gorgeous for God: Awakening Through A Course in Miracles", just click this linkAnd for further information on Rev. Jennifer Hadley, you can visit her to websites, Living A Course in Miracles,and https://powerofloveministry.net/

Miracle On Route 34: Part 1 Ginny gets a wonderful Christmas surprise. Based on a post by BiscuitHammer, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Author's Notes: Someone asked me to write a funny and erotic Christmas tale, but since I can't be normal, it is taking on a radical twist that I hope people will find amusing. I've tried to make Santa awesome but also give him some flaws that the ladies will find both charming and irksome all at once. I wasn't going to call it anything lame like 'Here Cums Santa Claus' (in spite of my love of Elvis) so I eventually settled on ripping off a classic and beloved Christmas movie, naming it 'Miracle On Rural Road 34'. Couldn't help myself with the 'Yes, Virginia' quip, of course. As for Superman, Oatmeal and the Easter Bunny, well, get used to more groaners like that, because I like them. Merry ho-ho and keep your stick on the ice! , Management Chapter 1. Ginny Hale sighed forlornly as she sat on her chesterfield in the dim room, the only light provided by the crackling fireplace and some scented candles spread around to make the house smell like gingerbread. She'd made gingerbread cookies earlier, but they were predictably burnt and now her kitchen smelled like a Christmas elf's ass. She took another sip of red wine from her oversized glass, unable to decide who or what to be mad at, the weather, for bringing this god-awful blizzard on Christmas Eve, her so-called friends for ditching her after she'd gone to all this work to put together a nice party, or herself for going crazy and buying this (admittedly nice) chateau way out here in the boondocks. Still relatively new to her negotiator position, Ginny had landed a huge deal for the company she worked for and the payout bonus was one of the biggest ever seen in-house. Though she had an office, she had often worked from her cramped apartment downtown, where a glorious chaos only she understood reigned. But the payout had been large enough for her to purchase a very pretty home in the country, not more than ninety minutes from work. Her boss was so pleased with the deal that he said she only had to come in once a week, to pick up whatever she needed to work on. It had seemed like a great idea at the time, but now she found she was quite lonely. Few people were will to put forth the effort to come out and visit her. In fact, only three had since the summer when she bought it. Hell, even her boy-toy, Chad from Accounting, could not be bothered and was now just fucking Lily in the secretary pool instead. Bing Crosby was singing 'White Christmas' to her while she moped. The big bay windows to her back porch showed the fury of the storm outside. Driving snow had been battering the countryside for two days now and her boss had called her to just stay safe and not try to come into the city. He was a nice old man and she liked him. He'd actually taken a chance and given her the job, after she'd fucked him. She hadn't invited him to her little soiree, because his miserable old bat of a wife was hovering around him constantly these days, certain he'd been tipping on her. But even without Old Man Reese, she'd invited upward of twenty people and none of them had shown. Not even Claire, her best supposed friend, had made it out. She was probably too busy being pinned and screwed by her boyfriend anyway, Guido or Nunzio or whatever his name was. Dean Martin came on, singing 'Marshmallow World'. Normally this was one of her favorites, but tonight it just reminded her that she was alone for Christmas. Again. With another sigh, she drank the rest of the wine in her glass and reached for the bottle, turning it over. It was empty. Damn. She'd have to open another one. She walked slowly into the kitchen, wearing her ratty old fox-themed footie pajamas, having decided that if she didn't have to dress up for anyone, she was dressing at all. She took a deep drink of spiked egg nog from the jug of it she'd prepared while she found another bottle of zinfandel and burped very loudly. She wrestled the cork off of the bottle and poured most of the contents into her oversized glass, muttering that she didn't have to answer to anyone about what she did, she was a big girl. She slumped back down on the couch while John Lennon asked her what she'd done for Christmas from the stereo system. "Up yours, John;" she said testily as she drank more wine. She stood unsteadily, blinking for a moment to try and clear her head. She might have had a bit of a wine fog going on, since she'd nearly polished off two bottles of Old Vine Zinfandel in under two hours. Convincing herself that walking was not a bad idea, she tottered over to the bay windows, reaching a hand out in front of herself to make sure it encountered the glass before her face did. "Will you look at that shit out there;" she muttered to no one in particular. After all, there was no one around to hear her. Well, almost no one. "Hi, Oatmeal," she said sweetly, grinning lopsidedly at the bearded dragon that sat in a terrarium near the bay doors. "Looks like you're my Christmas date; again;" The tiny lizard said nothing but assumed a darker shade of purplish brown. "Same to you too, bugface." Ginny muttered sourly, annoyed at being spurned by a reptile with a brain smaller than a sugared peanut. She lumbered back to the kitchen, trying unsuccessfully to eat several pieces of the Turkish Delight she'd tried to make, but they were sticky and runny, most of the reddish-pink mess ending up stuck to the front of her pajamas. "Son of a fucking reindeer!" she spat, attempting to remove the pajamas, her sticky fingers having trouble with the zipper. She finally kicked the thing off and left it in a corner of the kitchen, now wearing nothing except her panties and a halter top. She stomped back into the spacious living room, thoroughly annoyed. While the music played, she looked around for something to do, taking another pull from the egg nog jug she'd brought with her. The hot tub. It sat near the bay windows, set into the floor and was large enough for five or six people. She'd been hoping that maybe a few people of the dozens she'd invited would show and maybe they could have a fun pool party. She'd even told everyone in the invitations to bring their swimsuits. But of course, no one showed. She was beginning to suspect she could live in Buckingham Fucking Palace and still no one would come to see her. This was, literally, the fifth Christmas she'd spent by herself. The timing for friends never worked out and her parents were always off in Monaco or some such place, avoiding the weather. Her mom had already called earlier that night, so she wouldn't hear any more from them for a few days now. She sighed yet again and pulled off her underthings, stepping into the water. She was drunker than she wanted to admit, though, missing her footing, squealing and tumbling into the tub with a splash. Ginny came to the surface, sputtering and hissing in outrage. Why couldn't anything work out? Oatmeal just stared at her impassively. "You win this time, gravity;" she growled, displeased with her inelegant entrance. Well, at least she'd been smart enough to put down the jug of nog before trying to get in. She turned on the jets and retrieved her beverage, taking another big pull as the tub rumbled to life. Ginny laid back her head against one of the padded rests and tried to relax, to let her frustrations go. She turned on the jets and allowed one to massage her lower back while sipping at a glass of wine. She tried to put the frustrations of the holiday behind her, to let go of the feelings of rejection and somehow not belonging. "Why did I but this new fucking home if no one was interested in visiting? Everyone said they thought it was so great, but months later, still no visitors. Do I really not matter that much?" It annoyed her to think not only that she was alone, but that doubtless most of the people who had ditched her were at home getting laid. Claire was doubtless face down and ass up on her bed, getting plowed from behind by Guido. Even Mr. Reese, the old geezer, was probably getting some, either from his wife or maybe one of his secretaries. She sighed heavily and sat up, putting her now-empty wine glass aside and deciding that just because she was alone on Christmas Eve didn't mean she wasn't owed at least one good orgasm. She leaned forward and rested her forearms on the padded edge of the hot tub, positioning herself so that one of her jets, the one she'd named 'Juan', was right behind her. She felt the flow of water begin to caress her and she rested her head on her forearms as she wiggled further back, feeling the jet more strongly now as it pushed against her ass and her cunt. With a sigh, she found the perfect distance and pressed her face down into her arms, letting Juan work his magic. Water pressure massaged her cunt lips, strong enough to part them and to tease her clit, sending thrills through her. She shuddered and sighed loudly, forgetting, for now, how much men sucked. She bit the knuckle of her index finger, lost in reverie. God, if only it were a man fucking her. "Alone; on fucking Christmas; where's, ah!, where's the justice in that?" She was sweating now and panting as the relentless jets battered her nether tinglies, the sensations overwhelming her steadily. She clenched her teeth and her fists, straining as she fought to hold on a little longer. She moaned very loudly, her whole body shaking as Juan delivered a wonderful orgasm. She panted and groaned shamelessly, knowing that no one was around to see her in her pent-up, frustrated lust, expending it on her Jacuzzi jets. The scintillating lights behind her eyes, however, were over all too quickly and the climax subsided, replaced by a juddering sensitivity that made Juan's caress too much to bear. She collapsed against the edge of the hot tub, moving her ass away from the jet. "Alone; again;" She may have needed the orgasm, but it did nothing to improve her mood. It didn't help that the song 'This Christmas' by Shoes had begun playing as the cumming ended. When it finally felt like her legs would work again, she turned around and slumped into a corner of the tub, as far from Juan as possible. Ginny stayed still for some time, until her feet and fingers felt that annoying level of pruny that made everything awful to touch. With the heat of the water and all the alcohol she'd drunk, she was feeling rather light-headed, so she turned off the stereo and shut off the lights. She found a plate of her fucked-up and burnt gingerbread cookies and left them on a table near the fireplace along with the jug of nog before beginning to head upstairs to bed. "Yeah. Fuck this day. And fuck tomorrow too. Maybe if I stay drunk enough it'll just fly by. Fuck Christmas." The second floor was an open space in the middle, looking down onto the main floor. A set of stairs led up on either side and the bedrooms were spaced around the gallery. She'd loved the design when she bought it, but this only increased her frustration when no one ever came to visit. "Gorgeous fucking house; ten acres of beautiful nature filled with deer and ugly-ass wild turkeys; a fucking pond people could skate on; shit, I even found a patch of landrace back there! What's not to love about my new home? Why aren't people shitting themselves in jealousy?" She reached the master bedroom, sighing at how big it felt since she had no one to share it with. She stood in front of the mirror, looking at her naked body and sighing. She was trim and fit, with nicely-sized boobs, she kept her cunt shaved smooth and her full lips were simply made to suck cock. Her skin was fair and even and her dark brown hair was long enough to pull on if you were fucking her ass or taking her from behind. So what the hell was wrong? The bed was certainly big enough for two (or maybe her and two guys who didn't mind getting close), but she plunked herself down into it and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the room to stop drunk-spinning. It took longer than she wanted it to, but things finally slowed down an she breathed deeply. She reached over with her hand and fumbled around inside the drawer of the nightstand. She finally withdrew an elegant glass dildo, a barely opaque white with bright red stripes curling around it to simulate a candy cane. It had been a Christmas gift from Claire, who had jokingly given it to her until she found a man for herself. That bitch. "Well, Frosty," she sighed, examining him. "Looks like it's you and me tomorrow. I promise to not get out of bed except to go to the bathroom or get more booze, okay? Because I'm here for you;" And with that she kissed the dildo and put it aside. She turned out her lamp and sighed deeply as she lay in the dark, waiting for sleep to take her. "Fuck Christmas;" A noise from downstairs. Her eyes snapped open. She was sure she'd heard something. Her heart pounded in her chest. She took deep breaths to try and calm herself, reasoning that she'd been drunk and it might just be hangover noises. Maybe just something like branches scraping on the roof or across the walls? Ginny felt a flush of anger and slowly rose, getting out of bed and putting on a plush yellow robe. There were definitely sounds downstairs. She grabbed her rape whistle and her high-school field hockey stick off the wall before quietly opening the door and proceeding out of the room. Her cheeks flushed with fear and anger. How dare someone invade her house? And in this fucking weather! "Burglars? Ruffians? Escaped cons?" "Well, at least if they see you they might have their way with you and break your dry spell." She shook the vile notion from her head, wondering where the hell that'd come from. Could she be that desperate to get laid? Ginny walked as quietly as she could, hearing noises on the roof. Raccoons? Looking to get in from the cold? Fucking trash pandas. She rounded the corner of the gallery and put her foot on the top step, her hockey stick ready. She crept down the stairs, still hearing the noises. They seemed to be coming from her living room. Her eyes narrowed as she tried to identify anything that might be amiss. Then she saw him, a symphony of red trimmed in white, the huge ass swaying back and forth as the intruder was bent over her at the base of her Christmas tree, doing God only knows what to it. He seemed to be humming to himself. She walked up silently until she was maybe ten feet away from him, her hockey stick over her shoulder, ready to swing. He didn't hear her or took no notice of her. "I don't want to hurt you," she growled through clenched teeth. "But you'd best get the fuck out of my house or I'll hit you so hard Google won't be able to find you." The person in red paused in their activities and then stood up slowly. After another moment's pause, they stood up and turned around slowly. He was slightly taller than average and quite a bit fatter than societal norms allowed. He had a fat face with dancing blue eyes and red cheeks. Beneath the tapered red hat was long, silvery-white hair and a very full beard and moustache. The intruder looked at her and grinned. "Shouldn't you be in bed?" he asked with a voice that could only be described as jolly. Ginny said nothing. She seemed to be rooted to the spot. She wanted to say something, anything, but she seemed to have been robbed of the power of speech. "W, who;" she finally managed to stammer. "Yes, Virginia," the visitor said quietly but pleasantly in a soothing voice. "There really is a Santa Claus." She blinked and shook her head, trying to articulate a coherent thought. The big man in red chuckled, clearly amused by her predicament. "Your egg nog was very good," he mentioned as he walked forward a little. "Your cookies needed a little work, but I appreciate the effort. Maybe a cookbook next year?" "Stay still!" she snapped, suddenly coming out of her stupor and holding the hockey stick behind her head as if she was winding up for a hit. "I'll deck you, old man!" "Oh, there's no need for that," he said cheerfully, totally unconcerned by her threat. "It's been a rough year for you, hasn't it, Ginny?" "Why do you know my name?" she asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Of course I know it," the man claiming to be Santa said jovially. "I'd be pretty lousy at my job if I didn't, right?" "If you're really Santa," she said tightly, still not understanding why she hadn't knocked this guy's head off his shoulders yet. "Then what was I doing the night of October seventeenth last year?" He tilted his head to the side a little and pursed his lips. "Are you sure?" "C'mon, you haven't got all day." "Very well," he said, sighing. "You were sitting in McPhearson's Pub, waiting vainly for Greg from IT to show up, because you'd given him a blowjob in the bathroom earlier that day and promised him more. But he went off with Becky from Accounts that night instead of meeting up with you." She blushed furiously at the memory. "I; that wasn't the day I meant! I meant the sixteenth!" He shrugged. "You had the day off and were really frustrated. You slid a condom over that very field hockey stick and used it on yourself, just to see what it was like." Ginny dropped the stick very suddenly. "How the hell do you know that, you perv?" The man shrugged. "I know all about you, Ginny. And every other boy and girl in the world" "Don't give me that horseshit!" she hissed, glaring at him. "I had too many Christmases where I didn't get what I want to buy into that cockamamie story!" "Well, you weren't exactly the most exemplary child, were you?" he reasoned. "I mean, you weren't horrible, it's not like you were out kicking puppies into woodchippers, but you spent more time in the naughty column that the good column, didn't you?" "What did I ever do that was so naughty?" she demanded hotly, her fists bunched up at her sides. "You and your brother could get rather friendly, couldn't you?" the man calling himself Santa pointed out. She faltered for a moment. "Lots of siblings play doctor. And those atomic booty bombs where I kept jumping in the air and landing on him were just playful." "While naked?" Santa asked, raising a bushy white eyebrow. Ginny blushed. "But that wasn't what landed you on the naughty list," he added. "What got you blacklisted was that you lied about doing your homework or cleaning your room while you were messing around with your brother. Your mom and dad would ask you to do your math and you'd slip away to play doctor instead and tell them you'd finished your homework after. Lying is naughty, right?" "Woah, hold the phone here," she said loudly, holding her head as if she was suddenly dizzy from a revelation. She didn't seem to notice that her robe had opened slightly, exposing her cleavage. "Are you fucking kidding me? Fibbing to my parents kept me from getting the gifts I wanted?" "Were the rules unclear?" Santa asked. "I thought the songs on the subject were so easy to follow." Ginny pinched her eyes in exasperation and then scowled at him. "I'm drunk," she concluded, trying to convince herself none of this was real. "I'm drunker than Sarah Palin and you're not really here. I'm still in bed and this is all bullshit." Santa shrugged. "I was putting stuff under your tree until you arrived and enjoying the nog. I won't mind if you go back to bed." "No, you're not getting off that easily," she said in annoyance. "You broke into my house in the middle of the storm of the fucking century and I want answers, dammit!" He shrugged. "Fair enough. Ask away." Her eyes narrowed again. "Aren't you on kind of a time crunch? Unless I'm the last person on your delivery list, don't you still have a shit ton of houses to visit? Say, a few hundred million?" He waved it off. "I've got it covered, I promise. I have all the time in the world for you, Ginny. I always have." "What, so you sub-contract out?" she said snidely. "Got FedEx making the rounds for you? Or maybe your 'Elves'?" She mentioned the last bit with air quotes. "Goodness, this has been a bad year for you, hasn't it?" he said sympathetically. "But to answer your question, I am capable of being many places at once." "Oh, so now you're the Kwizatz-Haderach?" she asked archly. "Hey, it's not just cinnamon I put in my Christmas cider." Santa chuckled. "It's rather complicated to explain." "So do you, like, clone yourself?" she asked, her guard seeming to slowly come down. "No, not at all," he said, shaking his head. "It involves Cherenkov Radiation, a Holmes field, a Gellar field and, to quote a friend of mine, 'a lot of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey; stuff.'" "So it's some sort of deep quantum shit?" she asked, her body finally relaxing. He nodded, smiling. "Yes, it's very temporal and quantum. I can be many places at once. It's why I don't have to pay for billions in window repairs every year by going supersonic around the world." "So even while you're talking to me, you're delivering presents?" she asked, the sheer depth of the conversation hitting her now. She walked over to a stool and sat on it. "Like I said, it's difficult to explain without breaking out the chalkboard and calculator," he answered. "The magnetic lines between the poles help, especially the one that emanates from the Fortress of Solitude." Ginny blinked. "Fortress of Solitude? As in Superman? You're friends with Superman?" "Of course not!" the jolly man laughed. "There's no such thing as Superman, silly, he's a comic book character. Had you going, though." "Holy shit, Santa's a troll," she exclaimed, looking at him in bewilderment. "Well, okay, let's assume that this is all real and not a vivid hallucination resulting from a brain tumor. If I've been such a brat all these years, how do I make up for it? How do I get off the naughty girl list?" "Well, a little restraint would be a start," Santa suggested. "I'm not saying go out and become a Carthusian nun or a Buddhist priestess or anything, but you might try laying off the rampant promiscuity." "Why is that so bad?" she demanded. "What's so wrong with wanting to get banged?" "Nothing," he said simply. "But inevitably you get yourself into some kind of weird situation and end up lying your behind off and lying is a naughty thing to do. So try keeping your legs bolted together a little more." "Really;" she said, clearly not impressed. "Celibacy lessons from Santa Claus. Now I've heard everything." "According to my report here and speaking frankly, it's taken guys a lot less attractive than me a lot less effort to get you out of your clothes." Santa mentioned. "This coming from a guy who could clearly use a few P90-X sessions!" she shot back hotly, standing up, her robe opening further as she stomped toward him. He looked down at himself for a moment and guffawed. "Oh, right, I keep forgetting about that; hang on;" The man held his hands out to his sides and began to glow. The luminous display lit up the room progressively and Ginny held her hand in front of her face when it became too bright to look at for several seconds. When the light finally died away, leaving them once again in the softly lit living room, Ginny gaped in shock at what she saw. He was tall, powerfully built, with chiseled muscles, an eight pack and flawless, healthy skin. He'd removed his coat but the red pants remained, stretched tight over muscular thighs. Long, wavy, copper-colored hair fell past his shoulders and the full beard was reddish-gold. The sapphire-blue eyes stared down at her, still glittering with mirth. "Holy Jesus on a pogo stick;" she breathed, her voice little more than a whisper. "You're a total lumbersexual;" "This is what I really look like," he said, spreading his hands out to the sides and showing her his body. His chest rippled as the muscles flexed with the motion. "But kids react to the fat old man disguise better." "I'll bet mothers don't," she murmured, coming forward as if compelled and reaching out to touch his chest and washboard abs. "It's like you're Photo-shopped." He smiled as her hands caressed his abs. "You make me want to not get off the naughty list." "I think I know what you really want for Christmas;" he said slyly. Ginny paused and looked up at him in disbelief. "Are you kidding?" "No, I can't lie." the man in red pants replied. "I thought it was Superman who couldn't lie." "Well, the writers had to get that idea from somewhere, I guess." Santa mused. "In any event, if you want, you could end up on the good girl list by being rather naughty." She stared at him. "So; get laid by Santa for Christmas?" He shrugged. "There might be some other goodies in the bag for you, but I think we both know what Ginny really wants and needs for Christmas." "This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy!" she thought to herself, wrestling with her sensibilities. "If this is all just a dream, then I can fuck hunky Santa and have no regrets. If this is real, I can fuck sexy Santa and remember it in the morning! It's win-win!" "Well, this is super-easy," she declared. "Santa, I want you to fuck my brains out for Christmas." "With pleasure, Ginny!" he said, laughing merrily. "Whatever you like, however you want it. I have to keep the kiddies happy." "Good, but just don't say 'kiddies' anymore, because that's kinda creepy," she said, throwing her caution to the wind. She knelt down in front of him, putting her hands on the oversized silver belt buckle and undoing it. Letting it drop, she put her fingers on the front of his pants, caressing them over the crotch. Her mouth went dry. "That'd better not be a secondary present sack you're teasing me with;" Ginny hooked her fingers into the top of the velvety pants and pulled them down, revealing his cock. She drew in her breath slowly, her eyes widening. "Jesus," she muttered. "You're hung like a fat kid's Christmas stocking;" "Thanks, I make due." Santa said cheerfully, watching her admire his cock. "By the way, shouldn't I call you something else?" she asked, looking up at him while her hand reached up to take his huge shaft, wrapping around it, barely. "I mean, most people call you Santa Claus, but isn't your name Nick or Kris or something?" He shrugged again, grinning. "Nick, Kris, Klaus, Pelznickel, Joulupukki, Kanakaloka, Dun Che Lao Ren, Weihnachtsmann, Swiety Mikolaj, Hoteiosho, Jultomten, I don't mind, Ginny. I just like hearing you say my name the way you think of me." "Hmm, Santa;" she replied, smiling as she stroked her hand along his shaft, eyeing it hungrily. How the hell was she going to fit that all in her mouth, forget her aching cunt? "Ah, don't use that word," he chided, holding up a finger. "Some words are still naughty, even when you're an adult." "Stay out of my mind then, creeper." Ginny said as she leaned forward and swirled her tongue around the fat head of his cock. She flicked it around the tip and then slowly took it inside her mouth, tongue rolling against it. "The hell? How can his cock taste like mint?" "Just wait til you taste my cum." Santa said, leering. "Fine, but it better not taste like turkey gravy or we're gonna box." Ginny said as she pulled her mouth back for a moment. She pumped her hand gently along the shaft, studying her quarry intently. It was definitely the biggest cock she'd ever taken on, and the best-tasting. She'd been experiencing trippy magic all evening, maybe she could fit this monster in her mouth this one night; She put the head back in her mouth and relaxed, slowly pushing down the shaft. She moaned as she felt him slide to the back of her mouth and then to her throat. She felt him tremble and lay a huge but gentle hand on the back of her head. "Holy shit; I'm deep-throating Santa Claus;" Ginny took a deep breath through her nose and then tried to relax. Her whole body was tingling with excitement and the whole minty cock thing was throwing her off. Her tongue undulated along the underside of his shaft while the fingers of one hand formed a ring around the base of his cock and the other cupped his balls, fondling them. Ginny was proud of her cocksucking skills and if there was anyone she ever needed to impress with them (aside from her 11th Grade math teacher), it was probably Santa. She calmed herself and began pulling her mouth back along his length, humming and letting her lips vibrate softly on his sensitive skin. "Now I know why Mister Bondi gave you that A in math," Santa chuckled. "You're a very naughty girl, Virginia." "Hmm, only for you, Santa baby;" she cooed as she pulled her mouth off his cock long enough to respond, stroking slowly and swirling her tongue around the head again. She then slid back down the entire length, moaning in pleasure. She could feel her nipples getting hard and her cunt was very, very wet beneath her robe. Both his hands were on the back of her head now and holding her gently but firmly. She began to slowly bob back and forth, thrilled at how she was able to take this enormous beast of a cock all the way in her mouth. Sure, maybe there was some weird physics involved that compressed space and time or some shit, but she didn't care and he certainly didn't seem to mind. "Hmm, very good, Virginia;" he said softly, stroking her hair. No one ever called her Virginia and she didn't know why it gave her a tingle when he did. His cock was very full and very hard now, like a pulsing iron rod covered in mint-flavored velvet. She almost giggled at the thought of how crazy this all was. She really hoped it wasn't a dream. Her thumb began to squeeze along the underside of his cock as her hand followed her mouth up and down his length. The shaft glistened wetly and the mint was making her drool. She undid her robe and let it fall away, the air of the room kissing her flushed skin. Her hands now took hold of his powerful thighs and she began moving back and forth along his cock more quickly. She could feel his hands flexing in her long, dark hair, caressing her skin. Breathing through her nose, she moaned as she sucked ardently, her cunt almost aching with desire. She was hoping he would last long enough to fuck her when he went rigid suddenly and groaned, gripping her head tightly and his hips shuddering. Ginny's eyes widened as she felt him began to cum inside her mouth, spurting strongly. She began swallowing hastily, almost in a panic as Santa pumped his hips against her face. "Holy shit! Fucking eggnog?" He kept cumming and she was sure she might actually drown when he pulled his huge cock out of her mouth and pumped it furiously in his hand, spattering her tits and stomach with his glistening load. She'd never seen so much cum in her life. It tingled on her skin. Finally, Santa relaxed, allowing Ginny to put her mouth back around his cock and suck the rest of his cum from him. He was sighing and breathing rather heavily, apparently having enjoyed himself. She eventually released him and smiled up at him wickedly. "So," she cooed, winking while she gently pumped his cock with her hand. "Am I back on the good girl list?" "Oh, I'd think so," he said, grinned. "But it's not like I've given you your whole present yet." "Jeez, you can still go?" she asked almost in disbelief but also delighted. She really needed to be fucked hard now. "Your cock taste like mint, your cum tastes like nog, your ass probably tastes like hot cocoa or nutmeg and you can keep it up all night?" "Up all night is kind of my thing, at least once a year." Santa said cheerfully. "So how would you like for me to give you the rest of your present, Virginia?" "Well, golly, Santa," she mused, making a show of thinking while she stroked his cock. "Since you seem to be the gift that keeps on giving, how about we just wing it?" He nodded and she stood up, keeping hold of his cock and gently led him over to the large chesterfield, hoping it would hold his rather muscular frame. She knelt on it, resting her arms along the raised back and smiled at him, wiggling her behind. She wouldn't believe how wet her cunt was. "You gonna hurry down my chimney, Santa-baby?" she asked, smiling slyly. "I can't believe you just said that!" he laughed jovially. He may not have been older, fatter Santa, but the laugh still definitely suited him. He stepped up behind her and took gentle hold of her hips. She could feel him press against her ass and she shivered in anticipation. He slid his massive cock up and down between her ass cheeks, teasing her until she was writhing in desperation. He seemed to know instinctively what she loved most. Which only made sense, since he was Santa. "Ready, Virginia?" he asked as he pressed the huge mushroom head against her sticky cunt. She nodded eagerly, unwilling to speak. He slid the head in, parting her lips and penetrating her. She groaned loudly as he began to stretch her inner walls. With a slow, steady push of his hips, he pushed the entire length of his cock deep inside her. It robbed her of her breath, she'd never felt so full in her life, even that one time she'd been so horny she'd fucked her parent's bedpost. "Ah; uh;" she gasped, eyes wide. The sensations were like nothing she'd ever experienced. His cock completely filled her to a delightful stretch that didn't hurt except in the good way. His iron shaft throbbed in time with her heartbeat. It was wonderfully warm but also strangely cool all at once, tingling, like mint again. How the hell could her cunt taste peppermint? "Language, Virginia;" he chided again as he pressed in just a little bit further. By right his cockhead should have bruising her brainstem, but there was no doubt some weird physics shit involved that she decided not to think about. She was getting fucked by Santa, after all. She pressed her forehead against the back of the couch and tried squeezing her cunt around his titan cock or pressing back against him, squirming her ass against his hips. She shuddered in delight, loving how he felt inside her. His hands reached under her body and squeezed and massaged her tits, sending delicious thrills through her. He began to move slowly back and forth, pulling back until just the tip was inside her and pushing in steadily, almost robbing her of breath. She began to feel like a blacksmith's bellows very quickly. The feel of his cock sliding inside her, stretching her and touching deep inside in ways she hadn't known were possible; "Oh my god;" she gasped, fingers digging into the back of the couch. "You're tearing me apart and I love it;" "Only the best for my Virginia," he said, his ruddy cheeks taking on a flush tone as he fucked her. Her fingers squeezed the meat of her thighs and hips or flexed on her ass cheeks. His heavy balls slapped against her cunt as he drove inside her. Strong yet gentle, forceful and commanding yet accommodating. She felt dominated yet exalted somehow. His hand wrapped in her hair and she groaned loudly as he pulled on it, craning her neck. She shuddered in pleasure, feeling her spine almost accordion as he thrust inside while pulling her head back. Her could feel the pulse of his cock through her whole body. Her nails scratched along the couch, almost clawing it. "Uh, you're gonna make me cum so fucking hard;" she wailed, feeling the sweat forming on her skin. "Oh my gawd;" "You're going to make me cum hard too," he panted, thrusting deep inside, thumping his hips against her ass. "You feel wonderful and tight, Virginia;" "Oh, God, he's gonna cum in me;" she realized. "Santa's gonna fucking cum in me and he's not wearing anything! Will my birth control work? Shit, will my kids always smell like mint?" "Oh, God, cum in me!" she panted, thrusting herself back against him and grinding shamelessly. "Fucking cum in me, Santa!" "Ya want me to cum in you?" he hissed, his body beginning to tremble. It felt like his cock was getting bigger inside her. "Want my cum in you?" "God, yes!" Ginny squeaked, clenching her teeth. "Fucking cum in me and make me scream!" They strained against one another desperately and then she cried out as a massive orgasm crashed over her. It battered her senses as she felt his hot-yet-tingly-cool cum bathing her insides relentlessly. Her cunt was making greedy sucking sounds as she came, her whole body shuddering almost uncontrollably. She squeezed and clenched and rippled her tight tunnel round him, reveling in the way he stretched and penetrated her ever more deeply. She collapsed against the chesterfield, panting heavily, her body drenched in sweat. His massive, hard cock was still deep inside her, pinning her to him. She felt like she was made of lead, an exquisite exhaustion while pleasure crawled over her languidly. That was beyond anything she had ever experienced. But he didn't seem to be done with her. His powerful hands took hold of Ginny and turned her around so she was squatting on the couch, her knees spread wide and her arms slung across the high back. She looked up at him in weary astonishment as he nestled himself between her legs and pressed his cock against her sopping cunt again. "Ah!" she wailed as he slid deep inside her again, his huge cock splitting her wide. Her nails dug into the couch again and she clenched her teeth as she sucked in her breath. Ginny tried to regulate her breathing while Santa began sliding in and out slowly, looking down at her with those penetrating blue eyes. "Jesus," she grunted, feeling almost like a rag doll in his hands, which gripped her hips. "Gonna fucking kill me with that thing!" "Oh, let's hope not," he replied, thrusting into her strongly. "I'm nowhere near done with you." She gazed up at him, trembling as he fucked her good and hard. She bit her lip as he squeezed her thighs, before moving his hands up to squeeze her tits, pinching her nipples. She groaned shamelessly as the delicious sting electrified her senses. She tried to squeeze herself around him, baffled by how big he felt inside her. She gasped and whimpered as he slapped her cunt lightly. She reached forward and raked her nails over his powerful chest, leaving red marks along the defined muscles. She ground her hips against him wantonly, thrilling to the look of pleasure on this face. "Uh, fuckin' wreck me;" she gasped, feeling another massive climax building inside her. "Make me cum on that beautiful cock, Santa!" "I'll take 'Things Virginia Never Thought She'd Ever Hear Herself Say' for a thousand, Alex!" he laughed. He reached down and took her ass her hands and pulled her closer, smiling warmly yet wickedly into her eyes as she sank further onto his cock, which penetrated her to the deepest depths yet. She could feel the head pressing against her womb. It didn't hurt, but she felt fuller and more stretched than ever. She felt him squeeze her ass cheeks while he thrust into her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held on tight, bumping up and down on his powerful thighs. She moaned loudly and bit his shoulder, trying not to shriek. She tried to squeeze herself around him again, finding that she could barely control her muscles, let alone fuck. She bit down as the warmth spread through her, tears of pleasure in her eyes. He thumped his hips against her even more strongly and they strained against one another. Then he growled and released himself, pumping her once again full of his tingling cum. She shuddered and cried out loudly, her head spinning from the unreal ecstasy. Crushing herself to him, Ginny held on desperately, like a ship battered by an unrelenting storm. They both slumped onto the couch, breathing heavily. She felt small and almost cocooned in his embrace. She was covered in a heavy sheen of sweat and could feel the thrilling tingle of his cum trickling out of her cunt. It wouldn't be a stain on her couch, it was a mark of honor. Their hearts pounded in rhythm as the orgasm passed over them and slowly flowed away. "Holy shit;" she whispered, her body still limp in his arms. "I think you've ruined me for sex. I should be mad;" "You have to admit, it makes sense that I'm better at gift-giving than anyone else on the planet." Santa reasoned, smiling and stroking her hair while she sat in his lap. "I'd say you were a little pent up there." "Mild understatement," she moaned, finally raising her head and smiling up at him. "Thank you, first of all. That was the best thing I've ever felt in my life." "I aim to please," he said cheerfully, caressing his thumb across her cheek and enjoying the shining look in her eyes. "Kinda my thing, after all." "So," Ginny purred, walking to fingers up his broad chest. "Is there a Mrs. Claus?" He shrugged. "There has been, of course." She paused suddenly and looked up at him, her smile replaced by a deadpan look. "What do you mean, there has been?" He seemed somewhat confused by her change in demeanor. "Well, there has been a few in the past, of course, there was Seeki first, then there was Ahoop, followed by Annalina, then Layla, Martha, Juliana, Gretchen and Jessica, Santarina, Kasey, Mary;" "I see," she said stonily. "You've had more wives than Elizabeth Taylor had husbands." "Well, to be fair, they've been spread over a long period of time." Santa replied. "And they were all special to me." "So then I'm not special." Ginny said flatly. "Well of course you are," he said, not understanding her mood swing. "You're my Virginia." "And Becky down the street is your Becky, and Sarah in the blue house is your Sarah and Hilda in Dusseldorf is your Hilda," she concluded. "Everyone's equally special to you, aren't they?" He didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry, I'm not being fair," she sighed. "I just; well, I thought maybe this; ya know, tonight, was truly special. And clearly you're not good at lying." "Well, no, not at all." Santa agreed, still holding her and wondering how he could comfort her. "I can't lie." "Like, literally can't?" she asked, now curious more than anything. "It's part of your genetic makeup that you can't lie?" "No, nothing like that," he admitted. "But after spending centuries with kids and teaching them to always tell the truth, I haven't tried telling a lie in so long I don't even know how to do it." "You don't know how to lie?" she mused. "If I did, it wouldn't be the least bit believable," he said. "Like, if I said right now that your breath smells wonderful and not like old eggnog and vomit, I somehow doubt you'd believe my lie." "No shit," Ginny replied, giving him a stony look. "You're a horrible liar. You've got the subtlety of a cement truck. Good thing you're Santa and don't have to date to charm a girl." He held her close, hugging her tight to comfort her. She sighed deeply, still impaled on his hard cock, which showed no sign of abating. "God, I can't believe you've still got wood after cumming like a fire hydrant three times," she said, her mood softening. She was having the best sex of her life, she reminded herself not to ruin it by being crazy. "How long can you keep going?" He shrugged his muscular shoulders. "How long do you need me to?" "Actually, it doesn't surprise me that's your answer." Ginny said, smirking. "If you've got the time, I've got another itch that needs scratching." He grinned. "So you haven't broken in that hot tub yet, have you?" "Oh, Santa;" she purred, leaning in and biting his earlobe. "Like you don't make me wet already." He picked her up and carried her toward the Jacuzzi, deftly turning it on with his foot and bringing it rumbling to life. He stepped down into the churning water, setting her one of the seats. As he stood up, she leaned forward and hungrily took his enormous cock into her mouth, sucking ardently. She moved forward and knelt in the water, her hands on his hips again or stroking his balls. He picked her up bodily and turned her upside. Ginny squeaked in surprise at first but found his hips in front of her and began sucking again on his tool without delay. He buried his face in her cunt, tongue snaking deep inside her and she groaned gutturally, Holding her in place with one powerful hand, her teased her taint and then pressed a finger into her ass. "Jesus!" she gasped, almost choking on his cock as he wormed the finger down into her tight tunnel. "Oh, fuck! Your finger is bigger than some dicks I've fucked!" She attacked his cock again eagerly, bobbing back and forth like her life depended on it. She squirmed in his grip as he lashed her cunt with his tongue and fingered her ass. Her fingernails dug into his thighs and her knees locked around his neck. His cock throbbed in her mouth, still thrilling her with its unique and incredible taste. He turned her around again and paid her on the edge of the hot tub, spreading her legs wide. She looked on wantonly as he pushed his tongue back inside her again. He gripped her thighs to hold her in place and she groaned and squirmed, squeezing her tits and pulling on her nipples. Her breath came in ragged gasps as he drove her to the limit of her sensations. Ginny shook and thrashed as she cried out loudly, cumming on his face. He didn't let up, lapping at her essence eagerly. She lay like a dead thing for several seconds before her chest began to rise and fall. Her eyes opened, gazing back at him. She couldn't feel her limbs, just floating on a tingling ocean of deep colors. Santa looked up at her and smiled, pulling his tongue out of her cunt and kissing her clit gently. She shivered at the touch. "One hole left, Santa," she breathed, her body glistening. "Got any left in you to perfect my Christmas?" "Always for you, Virginia." Santa said warmly, standing and raising her gently into a sitting position. He settled down into the water on one of the seats and then pulled her onto his lap, facing away from him. She moved her hips around until she found his rock-hard cock, waiting for her. She placed her puckered knot against it, giggling as she thought about what he was about to do to her. She took his shaft in her hand and held it steady while she sank down, very slowly. Ginny gasped and shivered as the head pushed aside the tight ring of muscle, popping inside her. Then she sighed as she lowered herself, feeling his massive cock stretching her tight tunnel wide. God, she felt so full it was unreal. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, her ass cheeks pressed to his lap. He was all the way inside her ass and her held her closed as she settled back against him, purring in sensual pleasure. "Umm, it's never felt this good in my ass before," she said softly, her arms reaching back to curl around his neck. She gyrated slowly on his lap, moaning softly. "A gal could get used to this." His muscular arms wrapped around her and caressed Ginny's body, massaging her tits. She loved how she felt pinned to him. She had finally found the measure of her body and began to squeeze her tight ass around his cock. She squirmed in slow circles on his lap, wishing she had some music to fuck him to. Her stereo system suddenly came on and began playing 'It's Cold Outside'. She giggled and squeezed his neck gently at his thoughtfulness. "You think of everything, don't you?" she purred, lost in her pleasure. "I can't wait to make you cum again." He smiled wickedly and pulled gently on her nipples, causing her to groan at the welcome sting. She pressed her ass back into his lap, squeezing again around his throbbing shaft. The water bubbled and churned around her waist, the heat leaving her skin shining. She began to pant as she moved her hips faster, stopping the circular motions and started to move up and down, his cock sliding in and out of her. Santa took hold of her hips and let her bounce on his lap. Ginny leaned forward, gasping as she fondled her tits, overcome with a liquid heat as his cock impaled her faster and faster. Water splashed around them as the fucking took on an almost frantic pace. Ginny had never felt anything in her ass like this before, nothing even close to this good. She could very easily become an addict. "Uh, fuck!" she grunted, slamming her ass down on him while one hand snaked down and began massaging her cunt and clit. His hands steadied her and helped moved her up and down. She could feel his hips trembling beneath her, his fingers flexing and squeezing her skin. Her panting became a long, drawn-out keening. She clenched her teeth, shuddering and straining as she tried to prolong the fucking; Ginny screamed and pushed herself back against his massive chest violently, thrashing as she clenched his cock inside her ass while he came. His cream flooded inside her, the unreal hot-cool tingling transporting her. He growled in her ear, almost crushing her comparatively tiny frame against himself. She collapsed, utterly exhausted, her chest rising and falling as the world spun around her. She felt him holding her gently, caressing her body in unique ways that seemed to; regulate her blood flow and nerve sensations, making the post-orgasmic bliss she was feeling last as long as possible. She felt herself smile and hum at his consideration, understanding this this is who he was and what he was meant to do. Ginny then did something she almost never did during sex, she leaned her head back, pressed her lips to his and kissed him deeply and with great affection. She held it for as long as she could and then sank back into his embrace, sighing in contentment. "Wish you were advertising for a Mrs. Claus at the moment," she said softly. "I could get used to this." "I like things the way they are," he replied, hugging her. "Every year I get to reward you for being a good girl. What could be better than that?" "True, I guess," Ginny agreed. "I'm only human, all this sex could kill me." "Hey, I'm human too, you know," he chuckled. "Just because I'm immeasurably older than you and subject to quantum laws even my smartest elf couldn't explain doesn't mean I'm a member of some other species." "Okay, that's fair, although I'd still fuck you if you were an alien or some extra-dimensional being." Ginny admitted. "You've come in me a lot tonight, daddy. Do I need to” "No," he said cheerfully. "I'm not sterile, but you can't get pregnant unless I decide you will and I've never allowed it." "I wonder what a Santa kid would be like," she mused. "More like you or the mom?" "No idea," he confessed. "There's not exactly a manual, so I've never taken a chance." She slowly leaned forward and began to rise, shivering as she slid off his long cock and it popped out of her. She knelt and turned around to face him, not sure she could stand yet, looking up at his still hard cock and giggled, pressing her finger against the head. "Well, I think you can take him off duty, sir," she said sweetly. "I'm pretty sure that I'm all fucked out for the night, if not the whole season." He chuckled and let his cock soften, looking into her eyes and caressing his cheek. "Hopefully that was what you needed for Christmas." "Definitely, Santa." Ginny said, giggling. "Is it greedy to want the same present again next year?" "Not at all," he replied, grinning. "It cuts down on elf-labor hours if I can give people a gift mysteriously." Santa paused in speaking, going silent and looking around, as if listening for something. Neither of them touched the controls, but the motor for the jets turned off and all that could be heard was the howling roar of the winter storm outside. Ginny looked at him in confusion, wondering why his features hardened and a scowl crossed his normally jovial face. "That's no storm," he said in a low, growling voice. "Not a regular one, anyway." "What does that mean?" she asked, his reaction worrying her for reasons she couldn't readily explain. What the hell was a 'not regular' storm, according to Santa, or anyone else for that matter? He stood up and strode out of the hot tub, taking her by the hand and pulling her out with him. Their naked bodies glistened with water but this was the farthest thing from her mind. "What's going on?" she asked, his consternation beginning to frighten her now. She watched as he tossed her the robe she'd been wearing earlier and then started pulling on his pants and sturdy black boots. "It's just a winter storm! Isn't it?" "I wish that were true," he replied, his expression grim. "Listen to me very carefully, Virginia. I'll need you to follow me instructions precisely. Do you understand?" She nodded. "Okay, but” "Good," he said, cutting her off, his eyes flashing. "It's very important to your safety." "Can you at least tell me what's happening?" she pleaded. "Krampus." Santa muttered darkly as he wrapped bright red straps around his wrists, tightening them. "I should've been more careful." "What's Krampus?" she asked, going pale and she paused in putting on her robe, one of her tits hanging out. "Krampus isn't a what, Krampus is a who," he said, his eyes scanning the layout of her expansive living room. "He's also called Black Pete in some places and legend says he's supposed to be my evil henchman who punishes wicked children." "I take it that's not true, then?" she asked, looking around like he did, wondering what he was searching for. "Not even close," he growled. "Pardon my French, but Krampus is an evil sonofabitch. He was, at one time long ago, my dedicated helper, but he turned down the path of darkness, becoming twisted and diabolic. Forget punishing children, he wants to destroy Christmas, like it never happened." "What's that got to do with us here?" she asked, trying to keep her voice from trembling. "Can he reach us in this storm?" "This storm is his doing, I recognize it now," Santa said, striding over to his huge Christmas bag and beginning to rummage in it. "A massive storm always precedes his arrival. It can be mistaken for a regular winter storm if you're not paying

Miracle On Route 34: Part 1 Ginny gets a wonderful Christmas surprise. Based on a post by BiscuitHammer, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Author's Notes: Someone asked me to write a funny and erotic Christmas tale, but since I can't be normal, it is taking on a radical twist that I hope people will find amusing. I've tried to make Santa awesome but also give him some flaws that the ladies will find both charming and irksome all at once. I wasn't going to call it anything lame like 'Here Cums Santa Claus' (in spite of my love of Elvis) so I eventually settled on ripping off a classic and beloved Christmas movie, naming it 'Miracle On Rural Road 34'. Couldn't help myself with the 'Yes, Virginia' quip, of course. As for Superman, Oatmeal and the Easter Bunny, well, get used to more groaners like that, because I like them. Merry ho-ho and keep your stick on the ice! , Management Chapter 1. Ginny Hale sighed forlornly as she sat on her chesterfield in the dim room, the only light provided by the crackling fireplace and some scented candles spread around to make the house smell like gingerbread. She'd made gingerbread cookies earlier, but they were predictably burnt and now her kitchen smelled like a Christmas elf's ass. She took another sip of red wine from her oversized glass, unable to decide who or what to be mad at, the weather, for bringing this god-awful blizzard on Christmas Eve, her so-called friends for ditching her after she'd gone to all this work to put together a nice party, or herself for going crazy and buying this (admittedly nice) chateau way out here in the boondocks. Still relatively new to her negotiator position, Ginny had landed a huge deal for the company she worked for and the payout bonus was one of the biggest ever seen in-house. Though she had an office, she had often worked from her cramped apartment downtown, where a glorious chaos only she understood reigned. But the payout had been large enough for her to purchase a very pretty home in the country, not more than ninety minutes from work. Her boss was so pleased with the deal that he said she only had to come in once a week, to pick up whatever she needed to work on. It had seemed like a great idea at the time, but now she found she was quite lonely. Few people were will to put forth the effort to come out and visit her. In fact, only three had since the summer when she bought it. Hell, even her boy-toy, Chad from Accounting, could not be bothered and was now just fucking Lily in the secretary pool instead. Bing Crosby was singing 'White Christmas' to her while she moped. The big bay windows to her back porch showed the fury of the storm outside. Driving snow had been battering the countryside for two days now and her boss had called her to just stay safe and not try to come into the city. He was a nice old man and she liked him. He'd actually taken a chance and given her the job, after she'd fucked him. She hadn't invited him to her little soiree, because his miserable old bat of a wife was hovering around him constantly these days, certain he'd been tipping on her. But even without Old Man Reese, she'd invited upward of twenty people and none of them had shown. Not even Claire, her best supposed friend, had made it out. She was probably too busy being pinned and screwed by her boyfriend anyway, Guido or Nunzio or whatever his name was. Dean Martin came on, singing 'Marshmallow World'. Normally this was one of her favorites, but tonight it just reminded her that she was alone for Christmas. Again. With another sigh, she drank the rest of the wine in her glass and reached for the bottle, turning it over. It was empty. Damn. She'd have to open another one. She walked slowly into the kitchen, wearing her ratty old fox-themed footie pajamas, having decided that if she didn't have to dress up for anyone, she was dressing at all. She took a deep drink of spiked egg nog from the jug of it she'd prepared while she found another bottle of zinfandel and burped very loudly. She wrestled the cork off of the bottle and poured most of the contents into her oversized glass, muttering that she didn't have to answer to anyone about what she did, she was a big girl. She slumped back down on the couch while John Lennon asked her what she'd done for Christmas from the stereo system. "Up yours, John;" she said testily as she drank more wine. She stood unsteadily, blinking for a moment to try and clear her head. She might have had a bit of a wine fog going on, since she'd nearly polished off two bottles of Old Vine Zinfandel in under two hours. Convincing herself that walking was not a bad idea, she tottered over to the bay windows, reaching a hand out in front of herself to make sure it encountered the glass before her face did. "Will you look at that shit out there;" she muttered to no one in particular. After all, there was no one around to hear her. Well, almost no one. "Hi, Oatmeal," she said sweetly, grinning lopsidedly at the bearded dragon that sat in a terrarium near the bay doors. "Looks like you're my Christmas date; again;" The tiny lizard said nothing but assumed a darker shade of purplish brown. "Same to you too, bugface." Ginny muttered sourly, annoyed at being spurned by a reptile with a brain smaller than a sugared peanut. She lumbered back to the kitchen, trying unsuccessfully to eat several pieces of the Turkish Delight she'd tried to make, but they were sticky and runny, most of the reddish-pink mess ending up stuck to the front of her pajamas. "Son of a fucking reindeer!" she spat, attempting to remove the pajamas, her sticky fingers having trouble with the zipper. She finally kicked the thing off and left it in a corner of the kitchen, now wearing nothing except her panties and a halter top. She stomped back into the spacious living room, thoroughly annoyed. While the music played, she looked around for something to do, taking another pull from the egg nog jug she'd brought with her. The hot tub. It sat near the bay windows, set into the floor and was large enough for five or six people. She'd been hoping that maybe a few people of the dozens she'd invited would show and maybe they could have a fun pool party. She'd even told everyone in the invitations to bring their swimsuits. But of course, no one showed. She was beginning to suspect she could live in Buckingham Fucking Palace and still no one would come to see her. This was, literally, the fifth Christmas she'd spent by herself. The timing for friends never worked out and her parents were always off in Monaco or some such place, avoiding the weather. Her mom had already called earlier that night, so she wouldn't hear any more from them for a few days now. She sighed yet again and pulled off her underthings, stepping into the water. She was drunker than she wanted to admit, though, missing her footing, squealing and tumbling into the tub with a splash. Ginny came to the surface, sputtering and hissing in outrage. Why couldn't anything work out? Oatmeal just stared at her impassively. "You win this time, gravity;" she growled, displeased with her inelegant entrance. Well, at least she'd been smart enough to put down the jug of nog before trying to get in. She turned on the jets and retrieved her beverage, taking another big pull as the tub rumbled to life. Ginny laid back her head against one of the padded rests and tried to relax, to let her frustrations go. She turned on the jets and allowed one to massage her lower back while sipping at a glass of wine. She tried to put the frustrations of the holiday behind her, to let go of the feelings of rejection and somehow not belonging. "Why did I but this new fucking home if no one was interested in visiting? Everyone said they thought it was so great, but months later, still no visitors. Do I really not matter that much?" It annoyed her to think not only that she was alone, but that doubtless most of the people who had ditched her were at home getting laid. Claire was doubtless face down and ass up on her bed, getting plowed from behind by Guido. Even Mr. Reese, the old geezer, was probably getting some, either from his wife or maybe one of his secretaries. She sighed heavily and sat up, putting her now-empty wine glass aside and deciding that just because she was alone on Christmas Eve didn't mean she wasn't owed at least one good orgasm. She leaned forward and rested her forearms on the padded edge of the hot tub, positioning herself so that one of her jets, the one she'd named 'Juan', was right behind her. She felt the flow of water begin to caress her and she rested her head on her forearms as she wiggled further back, feeling the jet more strongly now as it pushed against her ass and her cunt. With a sigh, she found the perfect distance and pressed her face down into her arms, letting Juan work his magic. Water pressure massaged her cunt lips, strong enough to part them and to tease her clit, sending thrills through her. She shuddered and sighed loudly, forgetting, for now, how much men sucked. She bit the knuckle of her index finger, lost in reverie. God, if only it were a man fucking her. "Alone; on fucking Christmas; where's, ah!, where's the justice in that?" She was sweating now and panting as the relentless jets battered her nether tinglies, the sensations overwhelming her steadily. She clenched her teeth and her fists, straining as she fought to hold on a little longer. She moaned very loudly, her whole body shaking as Juan delivered a wonderful orgasm. She panted and groaned shamelessly, knowing that no one was around to see her in her pent-up, frustrated lust, expending it on her Jacuzzi jets. The scintillating lights behind her eyes, however, were over all too quickly and the climax subsided, replaced by a juddering sensitivity that made Juan's caress too much to bear. She collapsed against the edge of the hot tub, moving her ass away from the jet. "Alone; again;" She may have needed the orgasm, but it did nothing to improve her mood. It didn't help that the song 'This Christmas' by Shoes had begun playing as the cumming ended. When it finally felt like her legs would work again, she turned around and slumped into a corner of the tub, as far from Juan as possible. Ginny stayed still for some time, until her feet and fingers felt that annoying level of pruny that made everything awful to touch. With the heat of the water and all the alcohol she'd drunk, she was feeling rather light-headed, so she turned off the stereo and shut off the lights. She found a plate of her fucked-up and burnt gingerbread cookies and left them on a table near the fireplace along with the jug of nog before beginning to head upstairs to bed. "Yeah. Fuck this day. And fuck tomorrow too. Maybe if I stay drunk enough it'll just fly by. Fuck Christmas." The second floor was an open space in the middle, looking down onto the main floor. A set of stairs led up on either side and the bedrooms were spaced around the gallery. She'd loved the design when she bought it, but this only increased her frustration when no one ever came to visit. "Gorgeous fucking house; ten acres of beautiful nature filled with deer and ugly-ass wild turkeys; a fucking pond people could skate on; shit, I even found a patch of landrace back there! What's not to love about my new home? Why aren't people shitting themselves in jealousy?" She reached the master bedroom, sighing at how big it felt since she had no one to share it with. She stood in front of the mirror, looking at her naked body and sighing. She was trim and fit, with nicely-sized boobs, she kept her cunt shaved smooth and her full lips were simply made to suck cock. Her skin was fair and even and her dark brown hair was long enough to pull on if you were fucking her ass or taking her from behind. So what the hell was wrong? The bed was certainly big enough for two (or maybe her and two guys who didn't mind getting close), but she plunked herself down into it and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the room to stop drunk-spinning. It took longer than she wanted it to, but things finally slowed down an she breathed deeply. She reached over with her hand and fumbled around inside the drawer of the nightstand. She finally withdrew an elegant glass dildo, a barely opaque white with bright red stripes curling around it to simulate a candy cane. It had been a Christmas gift from Claire, who had jokingly given it to her until she found a man for herself. That bitch. "Well, Frosty," she sighed, examining him. "Looks like it's you and me tomorrow. I promise to not get out of bed except to go to the bathroom or get more booze, okay? Because I'm here for you;" And with that she kissed the dildo and put it aside. She turned out her lamp and sighed deeply as she lay in the dark, waiting for sleep to take her. "Fuck Christmas;" A noise from downstairs. Her eyes snapped open. She was sure she'd heard something. Her heart pounded in her chest. She took deep breaths to try and calm herself, reasoning that she'd been drunk and it might just be hangover noises. Maybe just something like branches scraping on the roof or across the walls? Ginny felt a flush of anger and slowly rose, getting out of bed and putting on a plush yellow robe. There were definitely sounds downstairs. She grabbed her rape whistle and her high-school field hockey stick off the wall before quietly opening the door and proceeding out of the room. Her cheeks flushed with fear and anger. How dare someone invade her house? And in this fucking weather! "Burglars? Ruffians? Escaped cons?" "Well, at least if they see you they might have their way with you and break your dry spell." She shook the vile notion from her head, wondering where the hell that'd come from. Could she be that desperate to get laid? Ginny walked as quietly as she could, hearing noises on the roof. Raccoons? Looking to get in from the cold? Fucking trash pandas. She rounded the corner of the gallery and put her foot on the top step, her hockey stick ready. She crept down the stairs, still hearing the noises. They seemed to be coming from her living room. Her eyes narrowed as she tried to identify anything that might be amiss. Then she saw him, a symphony of red trimmed in white, the huge ass swaying back and forth as the intruder was bent over her at the base of her Christmas tree, doing God only knows what to it. He seemed to be humming to himself. She walked up silently until she was maybe ten feet away from him, her hockey stick over her shoulder, ready to swing. He didn't hear her or took no notice of her. "I don't want to hurt you," she growled through clenched teeth. "But you'd best get the fuck out of my house or I'll hit you so hard Google won't be able to find you." The person in red paused in their activities and then stood up slowly. After another moment's pause, they stood up and turned around slowly. He was slightly taller than average and quite a bit fatter than societal norms allowed. He had a fat face with dancing blue eyes and red cheeks. Beneath the tapered red hat was long, silvery-white hair and a very full beard and moustache. The intruder looked at her and grinned. "Shouldn't you be in bed?" he asked with a voice that could only be described as jolly. Ginny said nothing. She seemed to be rooted to the spot. She wanted to say something, anything, but she seemed to have been robbed of the power of speech. "W, who;" she finally managed to stammer. "Yes, Virginia," the visitor said quietly but pleasantly in a soothing voice. "There really is a Santa Claus." She blinked and shook her head, trying to articulate a coherent thought. The big man in red chuckled, clearly amused by her predicament. "Your egg nog was very good," he mentioned as he walked forward a little. "Your cookies needed a little work, but I appreciate the effort. Maybe a cookbook next year?" "Stay still!" she snapped, suddenly coming out of her stupor and holding the hockey stick behind her head as if she was winding up for a hit. "I'll deck you, old man!" "Oh, there's no need for that," he said cheerfully, totally unconcerned by her threat. "It's been a rough year for you, hasn't it, Ginny?" "Why do you know my name?" she asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Of course I know it," the man claiming to be Santa said jovially. "I'd be pretty lousy at my job if I didn't, right?" "If you're really Santa," she said tightly, still not understanding why she hadn't knocked this guy's head off his shoulders yet. "Then what was I doing the night of October seventeenth last year?" He tilted his head to the side a little and pursed his lips. "Are you sure?" "C'mon, you haven't got all day." "Very well," he said, sighing. "You were sitting in McPhearson's Pub, waiting vainly for Greg from IT to show up, because you'd given him a blowjob in the bathroom earlier that day and promised him more. But he went off with Becky from Accounts that night instead of meeting up with you." She blushed furiously at the memory. "I; that wasn't the day I meant! I meant the sixteenth!" He shrugged. "You had the day off and were really frustrated. You slid a condom over that very field hockey stick and used it on yourself, just to see what it was like." Ginny dropped the stick very suddenly. "How the hell do you know that, you perv?" The man shrugged. "I know all about you, Ginny. And every other boy and girl in the world" "Don't give me that horseshit!" she hissed, glaring at him. "I had too many Christmases where I didn't get what I want to buy into that cockamamie story!" "Well, you weren't exactly the most exemplary child, were you?" he reasoned. "I mean, you weren't horrible, it's not like you were out kicking puppies into woodchippers, but you spent more time in the naughty column that the good column, didn't you?" "What did I ever do that was so naughty?" she demanded hotly, her fists bunched up at her sides. "You and your brother could get rather friendly, couldn't you?" the man calling himself Santa pointed out. She faltered for a moment. "Lots of siblings play doctor. And those atomic booty bombs where I kept jumping in the air and landing on him were just playful." "While naked?" Santa asked, raising a bushy white eyebrow. Ginny blushed. "But that wasn't what landed you on the naughty list," he added. "What got you blacklisted was that you lied about doing your homework or cleaning your room while you were messing around with your brother. Your mom and dad would ask you to do your math and you'd slip away to play doctor instead and tell them you'd finished your homework after. Lying is naughty, right?" "Woah, hold the phone here," she said loudly, holding her head as if she was suddenly dizzy from a revelation. She didn't seem to notice that her robe had opened slightly, exposing her cleavage. "Are you fucking kidding me? Fibbing to my parents kept me from getting the gifts I wanted?" "Were the rules unclear?" Santa asked. "I thought the songs on the subject were so easy to follow." Ginny pinched her eyes in exasperation and then scowled at him. "I'm drunk," she concluded, trying to convince herself none of this was real. "I'm drunker than Sarah Palin and you're not really here. I'm still in bed and this is all bullshit." Santa shrugged. "I was putting stuff under your tree until you arrived and enjoying the nog. I won't mind if you go back to bed." "No, you're not getting off that easily," she said in annoyance. "You broke into my house in the middle of the storm of the fucking century and I want answers, dammit!" He shrugged. "Fair enough. Ask away." Her eyes narrowed again. "Aren't you on kind of a time crunch? Unless I'm the last person on your delivery list, don't you still have a shit ton of houses to visit? Say, a few hundred million?" He waved it off. "I've got it covered, I promise. I have all the time in the world for you, Ginny. I always have." "What, so you sub-contract out?" she said snidely. "Got FedEx making the rounds for you? Or maybe your 'Elves'?" She mentioned the last bit with air quotes. "Goodness, this has been a bad year for you, hasn't it?" he said sympathetically. "But to answer your question, I am capable of being many places at once." "Oh, so now you're the Kwizatz-Haderach?" she asked archly. "Hey, it's not just cinnamon I put in my Christmas cider." Santa chuckled. "It's rather complicated to explain." "So do you, like, clone yourself?" she asked, her guard seeming to slowly come down. "No, not at all," he said, shaking his head. "It involves Cherenkov Radiation, a Holmes field, a Gellar field and, to quote a friend of mine, 'a lot of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey; stuff.'" "So it's some sort of deep quantum shit?" she asked, her body finally relaxing. He nodded, smiling. "Yes, it's very temporal and quantum. I can be many places at once. It's why I don't have to pay for billions in window repairs every year by going supersonic around the world." "So even while you're talking to me, you're delivering presents?" she asked, the sheer depth of the conversation hitting her now. She walked over to a stool and sat on it. "Like I said, it's difficult to explain without breaking out the chalkboard and calculator," he answered. "The magnetic lines between the poles help, especially the one that emanates from the Fortress of Solitude." Ginny blinked. "Fortress of Solitude? As in Superman? You're friends with Superman?" "Of course not!" the jolly man laughed. "There's no such thing as Superman, silly, he's a comic book character. Had you going, though." "Holy shit, Santa's a troll," she exclaimed, looking at him in bewilderment. "Well, okay, let's assume that this is all real and not a vivid hallucination resulting from a brain tumor. If I've been such a brat all these years, how do I make up for it? How do I get off the naughty girl list?" "Well, a little restraint would be a start," Santa suggested. "I'm not saying go out and become a Carthusian nun or a Buddhist priestess or anything, but you might try laying off the rampant promiscuity." "Why is that so bad?" she demanded. "What's so wrong with wanting to get banged?" "Nothing," he said simply. "But inevitably you get yourself into some kind of weird situation and end up lying your behind off and lying is a naughty thing to do. So try keeping your legs bolted together a little more." "Really;" she said, clearly not impressed. "Celibacy lessons from Santa Claus. Now I've heard everything." "According to my report here and speaking frankly, it's taken guys a lot less attractive than me a lot less effort to get you out of your clothes." Santa mentioned. "This coming from a guy who could clearly use a few P90-X sessions!" she shot back hotly, standing up, her robe opening further as she stomped toward him. He looked down at himself for a moment and guffawed. "Oh, right, I keep forgetting about that; hang on;" The man held his hands out to his sides and began to glow. The luminous display lit up the room progressively and Ginny held her hand in front of her face when it became too bright to look at for several seconds. When the light finally died away, leaving them once again in the softly lit living room, Ginny gaped in shock at what she saw. He was tall, powerfully built, with chiseled muscles, an eight pack and flawless, healthy skin. He'd removed his coat but the red pants remained, stretched tight over muscular thighs. Long, wavy, copper-colored hair fell past his shoulders and the full beard was reddish-gold. The sapphire-blue eyes stared down at her, still glittering with mirth. "Holy Jesus on a pogo stick;" she breathed, her voice little more than a whisper. "You're a total lumbersexual;" "This is what I really look like," he said, spreading his hands out to the sides and showing her his body. His chest rippled as the muscles flexed with the motion. "But kids react to the fat old man disguise better." "I'll bet mothers don't," she murmured, coming forward as if compelled and reaching out to touch his chest and washboard abs. "It's like you're Photo-shopped." He smiled as her hands caressed his abs. "You make me want to not get off the naughty list." "I think I know what you really want for Christmas;" he said slyly. Ginny paused and looked up at him in disbelief. "Are you kidding?" "No, I can't lie." the man in red pants replied. "I thought it was Superman who couldn't lie." "Well, the writers had to get that idea from somewhere, I guess." Santa mused. "In any event, if you want, you could end up on the good girl list by being rather naughty." She stared at him. "So; get laid by Santa for Christmas?" He shrugged. "There might be some other goodies in the bag for you, but I think we both know what Ginny really wants and needs for Christmas." "This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy!" she thought to herself, wrestling with her sensibilities. "If this is all just a dream, then I can fuck hunky Santa and have no regrets. If this is real, I can fuck sexy Santa and remember it in the morning! It's win-win!" "Well, this is super-easy," she declared. "Santa, I want you to fuck my brains out for Christmas." "With pleasure, Ginny!" he said, laughing merrily. "Whatever you like, however you want it. I have to keep the kiddies happy." "Good, but just don't say 'kiddies' anymore, because that's kinda creepy," she said, throwing her caution to the wind. She knelt down in front of him, putting her hands on the oversized silver belt buckle and undoing it. Letting it drop, she put her fingers on the front of his pants, caressing them over the crotch. Her mouth went dry. "That'd better not be a secondary present sack you're teasing me with;" Ginny hooked her fingers into the top of the velvety pants and pulled them down, revealing his cock. She drew in her breath slowly, her eyes widening. "Jesus," she muttered. "You're hung like a fat kid's Christmas stocking;" "Thanks, I make due." Santa said cheerfully, watching her admire his cock. "By the way, shouldn't I call you something else?" she asked, looking up at him while her hand reached up to take his huge shaft, wrapping around it, barely. "I mean, most people call you Santa Claus, but isn't your name Nick or Kris or something?" He shrugged again, grinning. "Nick, Kris, Klaus, Pelznickel, Joulupukki, Kanakaloka, Dun Che Lao Ren, Weihnachtsmann, Swiety Mikolaj, Hoteiosho, Jultomten, I don't mind, Ginny. I just like hearing you say my name the way you think of me." "Hmm, Santa;" she replied, smiling as she stroked her hand along his shaft, eyeing it hungrily. How the hell was she going to fit that all in her mouth, forget her aching cunt? "Ah, don't use that word," he chided, holding up a finger. "Some words are still naughty, even when you're an adult." "Stay out of my mind then, creeper." Ginny said as she leaned forward and swirled her tongue around the fat head of his cock. She flicked it around the tip and then slowly took it inside her mouth, tongue rolling against it. "The hell? How can his cock taste like mint?" "Just wait til you taste my cum." Santa said, leering. "Fine, but it better not taste like turkey gravy or we're gonna box." Ginny said as she pulled her mouth back for a moment. She pumped her hand gently along the shaft, studying her quarry intently. It was definitely the biggest cock she'd ever taken on, and the best-tasting. She'd been experiencing trippy magic all evening, maybe she could fit this monster in her mouth this one night; She put the head back in her mouth and relaxed, slowly pushing down the shaft. She moaned as she felt him slide to the back of her mouth and then to her throat. She felt him tremble and lay a huge but gentle hand on the back of her head. "Holy shit; I'm deep-throating Santa Claus;" Ginny took a deep breath through her nose and then tried to relax. Her whole body was tingling with excitement and the whole minty cock thing was throwing her off. Her tongue undulated along the underside of his shaft while the fingers of one hand formed a ring around the base of his cock and the other cupped his balls, fondling them. Ginny was proud of her cocksucking skills and if there was anyone she ever needed to impress with them (aside from her 11th Grade math teacher), it was probably Santa. She calmed herself and began pulling her mouth back along his length, humming and letting her lips vibrate softly on his sensitive skin. "Now I know why Mister Bondi gave you that A in math," Santa chuckled. "You're a very naughty girl, Virginia." "Hmm, only for you, Santa baby;" she cooed as she pulled her mouth off his cock long enough to respond, stroking slowly and swirling her tongue around the head again. She then slid back down the entire length, moaning in pleasure. She could feel her nipples getting hard and her cunt was very, very wet beneath her robe. Both his hands were on the back of her head now and holding her gently but firmly. She began to slowly bob back and forth, thrilled at how she was able to take this enormous beast of a cock all the way in her mouth. Sure, maybe there was some weird physics involved that compressed space and time or some shit, but she didn't care and he certainly didn't seem to mind. "Hmm, very good, Virginia;" he said softly, stroking her hair. No one ever called her Virginia and she didn't know why it gave her a tingle when he did. His cock was very full and very hard now, like a pulsing iron rod covered in mint-flavored velvet. She almost giggled at the thought of how crazy this all was. She really hoped it wasn't a dream. Her thumb began to squeeze along the underside of his cock as her hand followed her mouth up and down his length. The shaft glistened wetly and the mint was making her drool. She undid her robe and let it fall away, the air of the room kissing her flushed skin. Her hands now took hold of his powerful thighs and she began moving back and forth along his cock more quickly. She could feel his hands flexing in her long, dark hair, caressing her skin. Breathing through her nose, she moaned as she sucked ardently, her cunt almost aching with desire. She was hoping he would last long enough to fuck her when he went rigid suddenly and groaned, gripping her head tightly and his hips shuddering. Ginny's eyes widened as she felt him began to cum inside her mouth, spurting strongly. She began swallowing hastily, almost in a panic as Santa pumped his hips against her face. "Holy shit! Fucking eggnog?" He kept cumming and she was sure she might actually drown when he pulled his huge cock out of her mouth and pumped it furiously in his hand, spattering her tits and stomach with his glistening load. She'd never seen so much cum in her life. It tingled on her skin. Finally, Santa relaxed, allowing Ginny to put her mouth back around his cock and suck the rest of his cum from him. He was sighing and breathing rather heavily, apparently having enjoyed himself. She eventually released him and smiled up at him wickedly. "So," she cooed, winking while she gently pumped his cock with her hand. "Am I back on the good girl list?" "Oh, I'd think so," he said, grinned. "But it's not like I've given you your whole present yet." "Jeez, you can still go?" she asked almost in disbelief but also delighted. She really needed to be fucked hard now. "Your cock taste like mint, your cum tastes like nog, your ass probably tastes like hot cocoa or nutmeg and you can keep it up all night?" "Up all night is kind of my thing, at least once a year." Santa said cheerfully. "So how would you like for me to give you the rest of your present, Virginia?" "Well, golly, Santa," she mused, making a show of thinking while she stroked his cock. "Since you seem to be the gift that keeps on giving, how about we just wing it?" He nodded and she stood up, keeping hold of his cock and gently led him over to the large chesterfield, hoping it would hold his rather muscular frame. She knelt on it, resting her arms along the raised back and smiled at him, wiggling her behind. She wouldn't believe how wet her cunt was. "You gonna hurry down my chimney, Santa-baby?" she asked, smiling slyly. "I can't believe you just said that!" he laughed jovially. He may not have been older, fatter Santa, but the laugh still definitely suited him. He stepped up behind her and took gentle hold of her hips. She could feel him press against her ass and she shivered in anticipation. He slid his massive cock up and down between her ass cheeks, teasing her until she was writhing in desperation. He seemed to know instinctively what she loved most. Which only made sense, since he was Santa. "Ready, Virginia?" he asked as he pressed the huge mushroom head against her sticky cunt. She nodded eagerly, unwilling to speak. He slid the head in, parting her lips and penetrating her. She groaned loudly as he began to stretch her inner walls. With a slow, steady push of his hips, he pushed the entire length of his cock deep inside her. It robbed her of her breath, she'd never felt so full in her life, even that one time she'd been so horny she'd fucked her parent's bedpost. "Ah; uh;" she gasped, eyes wide. The sensations were like nothing she'd ever experienced. His cock completely filled her to a delightful stretch that didn't hurt except in the good way. His iron shaft throbbed in time with her heartbeat. It was wonderfully warm but also strangely cool all at once, tingling, like mint again. How the hell could her cunt taste peppermint? "Language, Virginia;" he chided again as he pressed in just a little bit further. By right his cockhead should have bruising her brainstem, but there was no doubt some weird physics shit involved that she decided not to think about. She was getting fucked by Santa, after all. She pressed her forehead against the back of the couch and tried squeezing her cunt around his titan cock or pressing back against him, squirming her ass against his hips. She shuddered in delight, loving how he felt inside her. His hands reached under her body and squeezed and massaged her tits, sending delicious thrills through her. He began to move slowly back and forth, pulling back until just the tip was inside her and pushing in steadily, almost robbing her of breath. She began to feel like a blacksmith's bellows very quickly. The feel of his cock sliding inside her, stretching her and touching deep inside in ways she hadn't known were possible; "Oh my god;" she gasped, fingers digging into the back of the couch. "You're tearing me apart and I love it;" "Only the best for my Virginia," he said, his ruddy cheeks taking on a flush tone as he fucked her. Her fingers squeezed the meat of her thighs and hips or flexed on her ass cheeks. His heavy balls slapped against her cunt as he drove inside her. Strong yet gentle, forceful and commanding yet accommodating. She felt dominated yet exalted somehow. His hand wrapped in her hair and she groaned loudly as he pulled on it, craning her neck. She shuddered in pleasure, feeling her spine almost accordion as he thrust inside while pulling her head back. Her could feel the pulse of his cock through her whole body. Her nails scratched along the couch, almost clawing it. "Uh, you're gonna make me cum so fucking hard;" she wailed, feeling the sweat forming on her skin. "Oh my gawd;" "You're going to make me cum hard too," he panted, thrusting deep inside, thumping his hips against her ass. "You feel wonderful and tight, Virginia;" "Oh, God, he's gonna cum in me;" she realized. "Santa's gonna fucking cum in me and he's not wearing anything! Will my birth control work? Shit, will my kids always smell like mint?" "Oh, God, cum in me!" she panted, thrusting herself back against him and grinding shamelessly. "Fucking cum in me, Santa!" "Ya want me to cum in you?" he hissed, his body beginning to tremble. It felt like his cock was getting bigger inside her. "Want my cum in you?" "God, yes!" Ginny squeaked, clenching her teeth. "Fucking cum in me and make me scream!" They strained against one another desperately and then she cried out as a massive orgasm crashed over her. It battered her senses as she felt his hot-yet-tingly-cool cum bathing her insides relentlessly. Her cunt was making greedy sucking sounds as she came, her whole body shuddering almost uncontrollably. She squeezed and clenched and rippled her tight tunnel round him, reveling in the way he stretched and penetrated her ever more deeply. She collapsed against the chesterfield, panting heavily, her body drenched in sweat. His massive, hard cock was still deep inside her, pinning her to him. She felt like she was made of lead, an exquisite exhaustion while pleasure crawled over her languidly. That was beyond anything she had ever experienced. But he didn't seem to be done with her. His powerful hands took hold of Ginny and turned her around so she was squatting on the couch, her knees spread wide and her arms slung across the high back. She looked up at him in weary astonishment as he nestled himself between her legs and pressed his cock against her sopping cunt again. "Ah!" she wailed as he slid deep inside her again, his huge cock splitting her wide. Her nails dug into the couch again and she clenched her teeth as she sucked in her breath. Ginny tried to regulate her breathing while Santa began sliding in and out slowly, looking down at her with those penetrating blue eyes. "Jesus," she grunted, feeling almost like a rag doll in his hands, which gripped her hips. "Gonna fucking kill me with that thing!" "Oh, let's hope not," he replied, thrusting into her strongly. "I'm nowhere near done with you." She gazed up at him, trembling as he fucked her good and hard. She bit her lip as he squeezed her thighs, before moving his hands up to squeeze her tits, pinching her nipples. She groaned shamelessly as the delicious sting electrified her senses. She tried to squeeze herself around him, baffled by how big he felt inside her. She gasped and whimpered as he slapped her cunt lightly. She reached forward and raked her nails over his powerful chest, leaving red marks along the defined muscles. She ground her hips against him wantonly, thrilling to the look of pleasure on this face. "Uh, fuckin' wreck me;" she gasped, feeling another massive climax building inside her. "Make me cum on that beautiful cock, Santa!" "I'll take 'Things Virginia Never Thought She'd Ever Hear Herself Say' for a thousand, Alex!" he laughed. He reached down and took her ass her hands and pulled her closer, smiling warmly yet wickedly into her eyes as she sank further onto his cock, which penetrated her to the deepest depths yet. She could feel the head pressing against her womb. It didn't hurt, but she felt fuller and more stretched than ever. She felt him squeeze her ass cheeks while he thrust into her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held on tight, bumping up and down on his powerful thighs. She moaned loudly and bit his shoulder, trying not to shriek. She tried to squeeze herself around him again, finding that she could barely control her muscles, let alone fuck. She bit down as the warmth spread through her, tears of pleasure in her eyes. He thumped his hips against her even more strongly and they strained against one another. Then he growled and released himself, pumping her once again full of his tingling cum. She shuddered and cried out loudly, her head spinning from the unreal ecstasy. Crushing herself to him, Ginny held on desperately, like a ship battered by an unrelenting storm. They both slumped onto the couch, breathing heavily. She felt small and almost cocooned in his embrace. She was covered in a heavy sheen of sweat and could feel the thrilling tingle of his cum trickling out of her cunt. It wouldn't be a stain on her couch, it was a mark of honor. Their hearts pounded in rhythm as the orgasm passed over them and slowly flowed away. "Holy shit;" she whispered, her body still limp in his arms. "I think you've ruined me for sex. I should be mad;" "You have to admit, it makes sense that I'm better at gift-giving than anyone else on the planet." Santa reasoned, smiling and stroking her hair while she sat in his lap. "I'd say you were a little pent up there." "Mild understatement," she moaned, finally raising her head and smiling up at him. "Thank you, first of all. That was the best thing I've ever felt in my life." "I aim to please," he said cheerfully, caressing his thumb across her cheek and enjoying the shining look in her eyes. "Kinda my thing, after all." "So," Ginny purred, walking to fingers up his broad chest. "Is there a Mrs. Claus?" He shrugged. "There has been, of course." She paused suddenly and looked up at him, her smile replaced by a deadpan look. "What do you mean, there has been?" He seemed somewhat confused by her change in demeanor. "Well, there has been a few in the past, of course, there was Seeki first, then there was Ahoop, followed by Annalina, then Layla, Martha, Juliana, Gretchen and Jessica, Santarina, Kasey, Mary;" "I see," she said stonily. "You've had more wives than Elizabeth Taylor had husbands." "Well, to be fair, they've been spread over a long period of time." Santa replied. "And they were all special to me." "So then I'm not special." Ginny said flatly. "Well of course you are," he said, not understanding her mood swing. "You're my Virginia." "And Becky down the street is your Becky, and Sarah in the blue house is your Sarah and Hilda in Dusseldorf is your Hilda," she concluded. "Everyone's equally special to you, aren't they?" He didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry, I'm not being fair," she sighed. "I just; well, I thought maybe this; ya know, tonight, was truly special. And clearly you're not good at lying." "Well, no, not at all." Santa agreed, still holding her and wondering how he could comfort her. "I can't lie." "Like, literally can't?" she asked, now curious more than anything. "It's part of your genetic makeup that you can't lie?" "No, nothing like that," he admitted. "But after spending centuries with kids and teaching them to always tell the truth, I haven't tried telling a lie in so long I don't even know how to do it." "You don't know how to lie?" she mused. "If I did, it wouldn't be the least bit believable," he said. "Like, if I said right now that your breath smells wonderful and not like old eggnog and vomit, I somehow doubt you'd believe my lie." "No shit," Ginny replied, giving him a stony look. "You're a horrible liar. You've got the subtlety of a cement truck. Good thing you're Santa and don't have to date to charm a girl." He held her close, hugging her tight to comfort her. She sighed deeply, still impaled on his hard cock, which showed no sign of abating. "God, I can't believe you've still got wood after cumming like a fire hydrant three times," she said, her mood softening. She was having the best sex of her life, she reminded herself not to ruin it by being crazy. "How long can you keep going?" He shrugged his muscular shoulders. "How long do you need me to?" "Actually, it doesn't surprise me that's your answer." Ginny said, smirking. "If you've got the time, I've got another itch that needs scratching." He grinned. "So you haven't broken in that hot tub yet, have you?" "Oh, Santa;" she purred, leaning in and biting his earlobe. "Like you don't make me wet already." He picked her up and carried her toward the Jacuzzi, deftly turning it on with his foot and bringing it rumbling to life. He stepped down into the churning water, setting her one of the seats. As he stood up, she leaned forward and hungrily took his enormous cock into her mouth, sucking ardently. She moved forward and knelt in the water, her hands on his hips again or stroking his balls. He picked her up bodily and turned her upside. Ginny squeaked in surprise at first but found his hips in front of her and began sucking again on his tool without delay. He buried his face in her cunt, tongue snaking deep inside her and she groaned gutturally, Holding her in place with one powerful hand, her teased her taint and then pressed a finger into her ass. "Jesus!" she gasped, almost choking on his cock as he wormed the finger down into her tight tunnel. "Oh, fuck! Your finger is bigger than some dicks I've fucked!" She attacked his cock again eagerly, bobbing back and forth like her life depended on it. She squirmed in his grip as he lashed her cunt with his tongue and fingered her ass. Her fingernails dug into his thighs and her knees locked around his neck. His cock throbbed in her mouth, still thrilling her with its unique and incredible taste. He turned her around again and paid her on the edge of the hot tub, spreading her legs wide. She looked on wantonly as he pushed his tongue back inside her again. He gripped her thighs to hold her in place and she groaned and squirmed, squeezing her tits and pulling on her nipples. Her breath came in ragged gasps as he drove her to the limit of her sensations. Ginny shook and thrashed as she cried out loudly, cumming on his face. He didn't let up, lapping at her essence eagerly. She lay like a dead thing for several seconds before her chest began to rise and fall. Her eyes opened, gazing back at him. She couldn't feel her limbs, just floating on a tingling ocean of deep colors. Santa looked up at her and smiled, pulling his tongue out of her cunt and kissing her clit gently. She shivered at the touch. "One hole left, Santa," she breathed, her body glistening. "Got any left in you to perfect my Christmas?" "Always for you, Virginia." Santa said warmly, standing and raising her gently into a sitting position. He settled down into the water on one of the seats and then pulled her onto his lap, facing away from him. She moved her hips around until she found his rock-hard cock, waiting for her. She placed her puckered knot against it, giggling as she thought about what he was about to do to her. She took his shaft in her hand and held it steady while she sank down, very slowly. Ginny gasped and shivered as the head pushed aside the tight ring of muscle, popping inside her. Then she sighed as she lowered herself, feeling his massive cock stretching her tight tunnel wide. God, she felt so full it was unreal. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, her ass cheeks pressed to his lap. He was all the way inside her ass and her held her closed as she settled back against him, purring in sensual pleasure. "Umm, it's never felt this good in my ass before," she said softly, her arms reaching back to curl around his neck. She gyrated slowly on his lap, moaning softly. "A gal could get used to this." His muscular arms wrapped around her and caressed Ginny's body, massaging her tits. She loved how she felt pinned to him. She had finally found the measure of her body and began to squeeze her tight ass around his cock. She squirmed in slow circles on his lap, wishing she had some music to fuck him to. Her stereo system suddenly came on and began playing 'It's Cold Outside'. She giggled and squeezed his neck gently at his thoughtfulness. "You think of everything, don't you?" she purred, lost in her pleasure. "I can't wait to make you cum again." He smiled wickedly and pulled gently on her nipples, causing her to groan at the welcome sting. She pressed her ass back into his lap, squeezing again around his throbbing shaft. The water bubbled and churned around her waist, the heat leaving her skin shining. She began to pant as she moved her hips faster, stopping the circular motions and started to move up and down, his cock sliding in and out of her. Santa took hold of her hips and let her bounce on his lap. Ginny leaned forward, gasping as she fondled her tits, overcome with a liquid heat as his cock impaled her faster and faster. Water splashed around them as the fucking took on an almost frantic pace. Ginny had never felt anything in her ass like this before, nothing even close to this good. She could very easily become an addict. "Uh, fuck!" she grunted, slamming her ass down on him while one hand snaked down and began massaging her cunt and clit. His hands steadied her and helped moved her up and down. She could feel his hips trembling beneath her, his fingers flexing and squeezing her skin. Her panting became a long, drawn-out keening. She clenched her teeth, shuddering and straining as she tried to prolong the fucking; Ginny screamed and pushed herself back against his massive chest violently, thrashing as she clenched his cock inside her ass while he came. His cream flooded inside her, the unreal hot-cool tingling transporting her. He growled in her ear, almost crushing her comparatively tiny frame against himself. She collapsed, utterly exhausted, her chest rising and falling as the world spun around her. She felt him holding her gently, caressing her body in unique ways that seemed to; regulate her blood flow and nerve sensations, making the post-orgasmic bliss she was feeling last as long as possible. She felt herself smile and hum at his consideration, understanding this this is who he was and what he was meant to do. Ginny then did something she almost never did during sex, she leaned her head back, pressed her lips to his and kissed him deeply and with great affection. She held it for as long as she could and then sank back into his embrace, sighing in contentment. "Wish you were advertising for a Mrs. Claus at the moment," she said softly. "I could get used to this." "I like things the way they are," he replied, hugging her. "Every year I get to reward you for being a good girl. What could be better than that?" "True, I guess," Ginny agreed. "I'm only human, all this sex could kill me." "Hey, I'm human too, you know," he chuckled. "Just because I'm immeasurably older than you and subject to quantum laws even my smartest elf couldn't explain doesn't mean I'm a member of some other species." "Okay, that's fair, although I'd still fuck you if you were an alien or some extra-dimensional being." Ginny admitted. "You've come in me a lot tonight, daddy. Do I need to” "No," he said cheerfully. "I'm not sterile, but you can't get pregnant unless I decide you will and I've never allowed it." "I wonder what a Santa kid would be like," she mused. "More like you or the mom?" "No idea," he confessed. "There's not exactly a manual, so I've never taken a chance." She slowly leaned forward and began to rise, shivering as she slid off his long cock and it popped out of her. She knelt and turned around to face him, not sure she could stand yet, looking up at his still hard cock and giggled, pressing her finger against the head. "Well, I think you can take him off duty, sir," she said sweetly. "I'm pretty sure that I'm all fucked out for the night, if not the whole season." He chuckled and let his cock soften, looking into her eyes and caressing his cheek. "Hopefully that was what you needed for Christmas." "Definitely, Santa." Ginny said, giggling. "Is it greedy to want the same present again next year?" "Not at all," he replied, grinning. "It cuts down on elf-labor hours if I can give people a gift mysteriously." Santa paused in speaking, going silent and looking around, as if listening for something. Neither of them touched the controls, but the motor for the jets turned off and all that could be heard was the howling roar of the winter storm outside. Ginny looked at him in confusion, wondering why his features hardened and a scowl crossed his normally jovial face. "That's no storm," he said in a low, growling voice. "Not a regular one, anyway." "What does that mean?" she asked, his reaction worrying her for reasons she couldn't readily explain. What the hell was a 'not regular' storm, according to Santa, or anyone else for that matter? He stood up and strode out of the hot tub, taking her by the hand and pulling her out with him. Their naked bodies glistened with water but this was the farthest thing from her mind. "What's going on?" she asked, his consternation beginning to frighten her now. She watched as he tossed her the robe she'd been wearing earlier and then started pulling on his pants and sturdy black boots. "It's just a winter storm! Isn't it?" "I wish that were true," he replied, his expression grim. "Listen to me very carefully, Virginia. I'll need you to follow me instructions precisely. Do you understand?" She nodded. "Okay, but” "Good," he said, cutting her off, his eyes flashing. "It's very important to your safety." "Can you at least tell me what's happening?" she pleaded. "Krampus." Santa muttered darkly as he wrapped bright red straps around his wrists, tightening them. "I should've been more careful." "What's Krampus?" she asked, going pale and she paused in putting on her robe, one of her tits hanging out. "Krampus isn't a what, Krampus is a who," he said, his eyes scanning the layout of her expansive living room. "He's also called Black Pete in some places and legend says he's supposed to be my evil henchman who punishes wicked children." "I take it that's not true, then?" she asked, looking around like he did, wondering what he was searching for. "Not even close," he growled. "Pardon my French, but Krampus is an evil sonofabitch. He was, at one time long ago, my dedicated helper, but he turned down the path of darkness, becoming twisted and diabolic. Forget punishing children, he wants to destroy Christmas, like it never happened." "What's that got to do with us here?" she asked, trying to keep her voice from trembling. "Can he reach us in this storm?" "This storm is his doing, I recognize it now," Santa said, striding over to his huge Christmas bag and beginning to rummage in it. "A massive storm always precedes his arrival. It can be mistaken for a regular winter storm if you're not paying

Beautiful actress Sofia Milos joins The Life Gorgeous to discuss her new face cream Radiant. Also, these two beautiful people and old friends chat about their healthy lifestyles - no gluten, limited sugar, and intermittent fasting. Plus, the Vikings and Wolves win - Kilby with a few astute observations. Let's do it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

GORGEOUS linda, tell me something I don't know

We've all seen Frankenstein by now and those who have seen it in the theater (hi!) have no doubt shamed those who watched on Netflix, but we can all agree that the film is GORGEOUS and we no doubt found ourselves confusingly (or maybe not so confusingly) attracted to The Creature. In this episode, Prosthetic Designer Mike Hill talks in delightful detail about every detail of the creation and evolution of The Creature and explains how Jacob Elordi, Guillermo del Toro and more all collaborated to bring this work of art to life. Enjoy! And let me know what you think as always…0:00 - Intro 2:44 - Building a New Frankenstein 8:15 - The Creature's Bold First Impression 9:20 - Creativity Through Color 12:29 - The Rush To Get The Job Done 15:50 - Seeing The Creature Come To Life 16:50 - Response to Frankenstein's Release 18:56 - Mike and Guillermo: From Monsterpalooza to Partners 24:29 - Victor's Artistry And Influence On The Creature 27:33 - How The Creature's Eyes Came To Be 29:49 - Jacob Elordi's 10 Hour Transformation Get full access to Look Behind The Look at lookbehindthelook.substack.com/subscribe

The night sky is full of twinkling stars and gorgeous lights coming from the cosmos, creating a sense of peace to a busy mind. If you are struggling to fall asleep at night and need some sort of stress relief, white noise for sleeping could be the remedy you need. Sleep white noise is great to play at night, as the consistent sound can ease your mind, especially in troubling times, and creates an atmosphere of pure tranquility. Allow your mind to drift off into a calm state with white noise to sleep and get the rest you desperately need! Here are some great products to help you sleep! Relaxing White Noise receives a small commission (at no additional cost to you) on purchases made through affiliate links. Thanks for supporting the podcast!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Baloo Living Weighted Blankets⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Use code 'relaxingwhitenoise10' for 10% off)At Relaxing White Noise, our goal is to help you sleep well. This episode is eight hours long with no advertisements in the middle, so you can use it as a sleeping sound throughout the night. Listening to our white noise sounds via the podcast gives you the freedom to lock your phone at night, keeping your bedroom dark as you fall asleep. It also allows you to switch between apps while studying or working with no interruption in the ambient sound.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Check out the 10-Hour version on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Contact Us for Partnership Inquiries⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Relaxing White Noise is the number one destination on YouTube for white noise and nature sounds to help you sleep, study or soothe a baby. With more than a billion views across YouTube and other platforms, we are excited to now share our popular ambient tracks on the Relaxing White Noise podcast. People use white noise for sleeping, focus, sound masking or relaxation. We couldn't be happier to help folks live better lives. This podcast has the sound for you whether you use white noise for studying, to soothe a colicky baby, to fall asleep or for simply enjoying a peaceful moment. No need to buy a white noise machine when you can listen to these sounds for free. Cheers to living your best life!DISCLAIMER: Remember that loud sounds can potentially damage your hearing. When playing one of our ambiences, if you cannot have a conversation over the sound without raising your voice, the sound may be too loud for your ears. Please do not place speakers right next to a baby's ears. If you have difficulty hearing or hear ringing in your ears, please immediately discontinue listening to the white noise sounds and consult an audiologist or your physician. The sounds provided by Relaxing White Noise are for entertainment purposes only and are not a treatment for sleep disorders or tinnitus. If you have significant difficulty sleeping on a regular basis, experience fitful/restless sleep, or feel tired during the day, please consult your physician.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Relaxing White Noise Privacy Policy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠© Relaxing White Noise LLC, 2025. All rights reserved. Any reproduction or republication of all or part of this text/visual/audio is prohibited.

We had the pleasure of chatting with the gorgeous, Binky Felstead, all about allergies and her experience with her son, Wolfie, who has a severe sesame allergy. After going through a frightening experience with Wolfie and having to re learn all about the dangers of allergies to ensure Wolfie is always protected, she is spreading awareness with her "Get Reaction Ready" campaign. With the lead up to Christmas and all the festive parties and dinners around the corner, Binky is determined to spread the word and re-educate as many people as possible, and we were here to listen and help!It is so important to be aware of the dangers of an allergy attack, especially a severe one and how to react quickly in case of an anaphylactic incident.  We hope you enjoy and can spread awareness too, with "Get Reaction Ready!"xxSend us a textSupport the show

Episode 5: "Wham, Bam, Thank You Dalek" - Classic Doctor Who Comics Double Feature - Patreon Exclusive COMIC STRIP REVIEW #1: "The Therovian Quest" (January 18 - February 22, 1965) TV Comic, Six Issues (Two Pages Per Week) Writer/Artist: Neville Main The First Doctor's TARDIS crashes on an alien planet where he and grandchildren John and Gillian encounter Grigg, a spaceship pilot whose vessel is also stranded. Grigg desperately seeks a cure for a plague that has incapacitated everyone on his homeworld of Theros except himself. In a shocking decision, the Doctor repairs Grigg's ship and abandons the still-damaged TARDIS on the planet to help this stranger - a moment of tension as they literally leave the time machine behind and never mention it again until the story's end! The quest takes them to the ice planet Ixon to harvest medicinal moss, where they're captured by Ixon warriors. King Ixa provides equipment including a sled to reach the dangerous caves, but secretly plans to steal the moss and sell it at exorbitant prices to the Therovians. After Grigg battles a furry cave monster (throwing it into an ice ravine), they retrieve the moss but are captured again. The Doctor sets fire to something (possibly the moss itself?) creating chaos and smoke that allows their escape back to Grigg's ship, returning to Theros to save the plague victims before finally returning to repair the mysteriously-fixed TARDIS. John and Jim's Analysis: Jillian's disappearing act continues - The female companion has maybe two word balloons throughout the entire six-issue story, to the point where the Doctor and John briefly forget she exists. The hosts lament this "all-he-man, no-girls-allowed club" mentality in a strip based on a show meant to be all-inclusive. Neville Main's artwork shines - Both hosts appreciate the visual presentation, particularly the spaceship designs and background details. Main clearly uses Hartnell photo references, though his TARDIS-in-flight depiction (a corkscrew swirly line suggesting rapid spinning) amuses the hosts. The Doctor as spaceship engineer - Jim questions when the Doctor became qualified to repair alien spacecraft faster than their actual owners. Grigg's suspicious appearance - Designed to look villainous initially, subverting expectations when King Ixa becomes the actual antagonist. John's bloodthirsty evolution - The grandson appears drawn older in close-ups, as if maturing into a violent young man over time. "Doctor Who" naming persists - The strip continues calling the protagonist "Doctor Who" rather than "the Doctor." Jim declares this "on the same level as the first storyline" - straightforward space opera that doesn't connect much to the TV series, though the art remains enjoyable. COMIC STRIP REVIEW #2: "Genesis of Evil" (January 23 - February 6, 1965) TV Century 21, Three-Part Story (One Page Per Issue) Writer: David Whitaker (from Terry Nation's plot) Artist: Richard Jennings Jim's immediate reaction: "Gorgeous." This landmark Dalek origin story appeared in the back pages of TV Century 21 magazine, forcing young fans to buy multiple publications for their Doctor Who fix. Set on the planet Skaro, the strip reveals how the robotic Dalek shells came to exist following a catastrophic event that irradiated the planet (here depicted as a meteor storm hitting nuclear stockpiles, contradicting the TV series' neutron bomb). Two blue-skinned humanoid Daleks (members of the original Dals/Kaleds race) crawl from the rubble and encounter a horrifying sight - one of their own people, so mutated by radiation that he's encased himself in a mechanical pepper-pot shell. This robotic Dalek reveals he created the protective casing and now the survivors must build more shells for the remaining Daleks. The story establishes the Dalek Emperor character (gold and ruby-plated) who will feature in subsequent strips, creating a hierarchy absent from early TV stories. John and Jim's Analysis: Stunning artwork - Richard Jennings delivers detailed, beautifully colored pages that exceed the Doctor Who strip's quality. Jim calls it an "eye opener." Terry Nation's contractual power - Nation receives prominent billing despite David Whitaker doing the actual scripting, showing the Dalek creator's early leverage (eventually buying a manor with Dalek profits). Canon contradictions - The strip doesn't contradict the first TV Dalek serial and actually fleshes it out nicely, but future TV story "Genesis of the Daleks" will completely reimagine the origin. The hosts discuss how ancillary products are always subordinate to on-screen canon. Perfect pacing - The compact one-page-per-issue format keeps the story moving efficiently without lingering, unlike the sometimes padded Doctor Who strip. Thals connection - The strip references the Thal people from the TV series, maintaining continuity while expanding the mythology. The Emperor's absence - John wonders why this gold Emperor wasn't in "The Daleks" TV story, speculating future strips might explain it. Jim enthusiastically declares: "I enjoyed this way more than the Doctor Who strip" and looks forward to continuing Dalek adventures. LOOKING AHEAD The hosts preview their upcoming Friday Patreon release covering "The Web Planet" - John approaches it fresh without having started watching, hoping for better appreciation than his initial expectations. Jim looks forward to eventually finding a story where John declares "this is horrible" so he'll "feel justified." Subscribe to The Doctor's Beard Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, and all major podcast platforms. Share your thoughts on disappearing companions and gorgeous Dalek artwork by emailing us at thedoctorsbeardpodcast@gmail.com or joining our passionate Facebook and BlueSky communities. Become a Patreon member today to receive early episode access to our main show reviews, plus exclusive content like Episode 5 featuring vintage comic strip analysis from 1965, deep-dive discussions of Dalek mythology, and comprehensive coverage of Doctor Who's complete multimedia legacy across all formats and eras! Hashtags: #DoctorWho #DoctorWhoComics #TVComic #TVCentury21 #FirstDoctor #WilliamHartnell #VintageComics #1965Comics #DoctorWhoHistory #TherovianQuest #NevilleMain #JohnAndGillian #DoctorWhoGrandchildren #Daleks #GenesisOfEvil #DalekOrigin #TerryNation #DavidWhitaker #RichardJennings #DalekEmperor #Skaro #Thals #DalekMythology #ClassicDoctorWho #1960sComics #DoctorWhoPodcast #TheDoctorsBeardPodcast #PatreonExclusive #Episode5 #ComicReview #BritishComics #RetroComics #DoctorWhoCanon #DalekComics #SixtyYearsOfDoctorWho #Whovian #DoctorWhoFandom #DoctorWhoCollectibles #VintageSciFi #ComicHistory #DalekHistory #BBCComics #ClassicComics

Kilby is back from a wonderful Thanksgiving road trip and answers Fan Questions. There were two highlights that stood out: a new California town Kilby discovered and a new restaurant up in Templeton, CA that served up an amazing Thanksgiving dinner. Plus, there is pain in Viking land...let Craiggers help and heal. And a lot of you have probably never seen The Jackal - you should. All this and some Wolves Pride. Let's Go! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your portfolio is gorgeous — but is your website actually bringing in clients? If you've been staring at your site thinking, "It looks good… but something's not working," this episode's for you. Today, I'm joined by Robyn White of RDW Design Studio. Robyn White brings a rare fusion of strategy and aesthetics to interior design websites. A website designer who didn't follow the traditional path, she began her career working at one of the most prestigious art galleries in the world. She learned how the affluent think, what they value, and how they choose who to work with. In 2019 she founded RDW Design Studio where she combines that luxury market expertise with digital strategy to help elevate interior designers into the high-end market via an online presence that aligns with the clients, projects and opportunities they deserve so they can step into their next level of success. Robyn has been featured by a range of design industry resources from Business of Home to High Point Market. We're digging into how to create an interior design website that's both beautiful and strategic — including the key mistakes designers are making right now (even seasoned ones), how to get found by dream clients without sacrificing style, and what Google (and ChatGPT) actually want to see in 2026. This one's for the designer who's ready to stop blending in — and start building a website that works as hard as you do. Let's get you back in the client's inbox.   Get Robyn's free lead magnet here: How to Get Leads from Your Interior Design Website: https://rdwdesignstudio.com/website-leads/ Check out Robyn's Website: https://rdwdesignstudio.com/  Follow Robyn on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rdwdesignstudio/    Mentioned in this episode: Access the full video interview with Elana Steele of Steele Appliance here: https://www.reneedevignierdesign.com/appliance   Find the full shownotes at: https://devignierdesign.com/interior-design-website-robyn-white   

Gorgeous humans!This week I'm having the MOST delicious chat with my mate Jana Kingsford — author of Big Dreams (with eight more books in the works!) and the creator of the Beliefetics Method.Jana's one of those humans who actually DID the thing most people dream about but never do. She was stuck in the morning school run traffic, feeling like she couldn't do another 15 years of this… and went home and asked her husband if they could sell the house, buy a caravan, homeschool the kids and travel Australia full-time.His response? "I'm keen."That was the beginning of four laps of Australia, homeschooling three kids on the road, live streaming from cafe corners and literal trees, and building a million-dollar business from a caravan that didn't even have a toilet or shower!!!We'll cover:✨ The exact moment Jana knew her life had to change (driving home from school drop-off, crying kid, morning traffic, the works)✨ The reality of selling everything in 3 months and hitting the road✨ Homeschooling truth bombs: from distance ed panic to shutting the laptop because we're literally here✨ Why both her daughters are now thriving at uni after years of unschooling✨ Her 13-year-old son who taught himself everything from hyperfixations (unschooling magic!)✨ The morning routine that made it possible✨ How that one belief shift took her from $1K to $11K months in 5 months (and that was over 10 years ago!)✨ Why manifesting "big dreams you can't buy" is completely different to manifesting parking spots ✨ The seven stages of manifesting and why advice that works in stage one will sabotage you in stage sevenThis ep is for you if:

Chanel Ayan, one of the most iconic faithfuls from Season 3, tells us how she got the job in the first place! Having never watched the game and given a 3 days notice isn’t ideal, but she made it work (thanks to a little advice from Andy Cohen).And, Ayan tells us her favorite BTS stories. What did she say that made Alan Cumming laugh out loud in her one-on-one interview? What did she think when people kept calling themselves ‘Survivors’? Would she ever go back to the castle?!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, Mike dives into the deep and fascinating history of one of Traverse City's most iconic landmarks: the Traverse City State Hospital, also known historically as the Northern Michigan Asylum and the Traverse City Regional Psychiatric Hospital. Recorded on November 28, 2025 (yes, Black Friday—no, he's not out shopping), Mike shares personal stories, local history, and some memories connected to the vast and beautiful grounds of what is now called the Village at Grand Traverse Commons. What Mike Covers in This Episode 🏥 A Brief History of the State Hospital Established in 1881 and opened in 1885. Founded by Dr. James Decker Munson, namesake of Munson Healthcare, alongside Traverse City's “father,” Perry Hanna. Built as a Kirkbride Plan psychiatric hospital—one of four in Michigan and the only one still standing and in active use today (though no longer as a hospital). 🏛️ Architecture & Design Beautiful Victorian-style buildings with spires, long wings, wide porches, and landscaped grounds. Built on the idea of beauty, light, and nature aiding psychiatric healing. Gorgeous gardens supported by on-site greenhouses that provided year-round flowers. 🌳 A Self-Sustaining Community The hospital operated as its own little world: Farms with cattle, pigs, chickens, crops, and orchards Their own power plant Workshops and barns (now part of Historic Barns Park) Many patients (or “clients,” as some staff called them) worked on the grounds as part of daily life. 👨‍⚕️ Mike's Personal Connections Both of Mike's paternal grandparents worked there—his grandmother as an RN and his grandfather as an orderly. He shares memories of neighbors and relatives who worked on the hospital farm and grounds. He also reminisces about staying as a kid in the Perry Hanna House (now a funeral home)—a mansion connected to the founders of the hospital. 🏚️ Abandonment and Renewal After closing in the late 20th century, some buildings fell into disrepair. Today, Building 50 has been reborn with: Condos and apartments Offices Shops, galleries, and restaurants in the lower level, known as The Grotto Other “cottages” are slowly being restored, while tours still visit the untouched and eerie sections. 🚶 Ghost Stories, Tunnels & Tours The site is rich with lore—including tunnels connecting buildings. Mike mentions wanting to have his friend Chris (a local historian and photographer) on the podcast to go deeper into the legends, stories, and details. ☕ Coffee Deliveries at Sunrise Mike also shares a personal memory of delivering bagels to Cup of Joe in Building 50's grotto back when his wife ran a bagel shop—always grabbing a cup of coffee around 5:30 a.m. 🌄 A Landmark on the Hill As you drive into Traverse City from the south (US-31 / M-37), the spires of Building 50 rise out of the trees—a recognizable introduction to town. 🎙️ Coming Up November 29: “Why Podcasting Is So Special” November 30: A special final NaPodPoMo episode to close out the month Thanks for listening, and catch Mike tomorrow for more!

In this episode, Mike dives into the deep and fascinating history of one of Traverse City's most iconic landmarks: the Traverse City State Hospital, also known historically as the Northern Michigan Asylum and the Traverse City Regional Psychiatric Hospital. Recorded on November 28, 2025 (yes, Black Friday—no, he's not out shopping), Mike shares personal stories, local history, and some memories connected to the vast and beautiful grounds of what is now called the Village at Grand Traverse Commons. What Mike Covers in This Episode 🏥 A Brief History of the State Hospital Established in 1881 and opened in 1885. Founded by Dr. James Decker Munson, namesake of Munson Healthcare, alongside Traverse City's “father,” Perry Hanna. Built as a Kirkbride Plan psychiatric hospital—one of four in Michigan and the only one still standing and in active use today (though no longer as a hospital). 🏛️ Architecture & Design Beautiful Victorian-style buildings with spires, long wings, wide porches, and landscaped grounds. Built on the idea of beauty, light, and nature aiding psychiatric healing. Gorgeous gardens supported by on-site greenhouses that provided year-round flowers. 🌳 A Self-Sustaining Community The hospital operated as its own little world: Farms with cattle, pigs, chickens, crops, and orchards Their own power plant Workshops and barns (now part of Historic Barns Park) Many patients (or “clients,” as some staff called them) worked on the grounds as part of daily life. 👨‍⚕️ Mike's Personal Connections Both of Mike's paternal grandparents worked there—his grandmother as an RN and his grandfather as an orderly. He shares memories of neighbors and relatives who worked on the hospital farm and grounds. He also reminisces about staying as a kid in the Perry Hanna House (now a funeral home)—a mansion connected to the founders of the hospital. 🏚️ Abandonment and Renewal After closing in the late 20th century, some buildings fell into disrepair. Today, Building 50 has been reborn with: Condos and apartments Offices Shops, galleries, and restaurants in the lower level, known as The Grotto Other “cottages” are slowly being restored, while tours still visit the untouched and eerie sections. 🚶 Ghost Stories, Tunnels & Tours The site is rich with lore—including tunnels connecting buildings. Mike mentions wanting to have his friend Chris (a local historian and photographer) on the podcast to go deeper into the legends, stories, and details. ☕ Coffee Deliveries at Sunrise Mike also shares a personal memory of delivering bagels to Cup of Joe in Building 50's grotto back when his wife ran a bagel shop—always grabbing a cup of coffee around 5:30 a.m. 🌄 A Landmark on the Hill As you drive into Traverse City from the south (US-31 / M-37), the spires of Building 50 rise out of the trees—a recognizable introduction to town. 🎙️ Coming Up November 29: “Why Podcasting Is So Special” November 30: A special final NaPodPoMo episode to close out the month Thanks for listening, and catch Mike tomorrow for more!

It's a Thanksgiving celebration with Jonny Athletic. Jon and Kilby discuss their favorite Thanksgiving sides including dressing with sausage! And while neither one of them has ever cooked a turkey - stunning - one of them reveals he's the official turkey carver. Plus, the JJ McCarthy debacle and Wolves trade talk. No leftovers here, everything is devoured. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

*This episode is in partnership with Geek and Gorgeous Skincare*In this brilliant episode I'm getting to know the AMAZING Judit Ràcz.Judit is one of the most passionate skincare geeks I've ever come across and is the woman behind one of my favourite websites for demystifying skincare ingredients - https://incidecoder.com/Having spent years studying skincare and helping us to get our head around different ingredients, Judit decided to train to become a formulator and went on to co-found one of my top skicnare brands of all time - Geek and Gorgeous.During the episode we'll hear about Judit's extraordinary journey and why Geek and Gorgeous really does stand out in a world of often over-priced skincare that doesn't always deliver.Fellow skincare geeks, you're going to love this.

Fletcher Powell says one new movie is a gorgeous artistic work.

Because she would've smashed right into my car...Smashed...Because of the state she was in...My name is Mr. 2020...This is the Power of Imagination Podcast...Where we explore one thing and one thing only...The reason why my car didn't get smashed into...And why hers was covered...Seriously... every side of her car...Every angle...Was covered with dents...Because of the state she was in...So let's dive in...Do you know what the one cause is...I bet you think you do...But if you feel like she does...Beep...Instead of like how I do...Boom...Here's why...Because the state she was in...Had people in the way...There's always something in the way...In her state...I can tell... right...She's flying through a parking lot doing about forty miles an hour...Triple the safe speed...Beep...I back out attentive...Just like I manifest attentive...With some love...I love my car...It's a collectible Mercedes...I love collectible German cars...So I'm backing up...Beep...I stop...Zoom...She blows by...Straight to the exit...Two exits...She picks the one with a car sitting there...Trying to turn...Can't move because of traffic...And you know what I hear...Beep...Meanwhile...I'm the boom in the room...Remember that...You're the boom in the room...There's nothing in your way because you are the way...I am the way...And the truth...I am the light...Have you not heard...Jesus Christ is within you...If you're struggling...And you feel like something is in the way...It's not happening...You have to push...You have to rush...To get there...You get she...That's her...That's her entire life...That's her entire car...And like I said...When I'm rolling out and I look over...Front end...Rear end...Side...Side...All dented...Beep...Everything appears to her as an opportunity to smash...You ever feel smashed...You ever struggle...Meanwhile...This week we added the Pearl Power Pack to Manifesting Mastery Deluxe...About three hundred bucks worth of recordings...We tossed that into the goodie box...Plus some other bonuses...Ninety days...Quick...Easy lessons...Get you out of beep and into boom...Wouldn't that be cool...Takes just a few minutes a day...We put up ninety new videos for members only...Members only Facebook group...Members only bonuses...Live group call every ninety days or so...Here's the cool thing...Ready...I wanna know in the comments...Are you a beep...Or are you a boom...Just notice during your day...Am I in beep...Or am I in boom...Me being the boom in the room...My car didn't get hit...And what's cool is this...The state you are in is the only thing that matters...My car is still simply solid...Gorgeous...The state you are in is the only thing that matters...Wanna explore that...Wanna speed up...Join us...Have a great day...Because your state is the only thing that matters...

Both the Vikings and Wolves lose big games and Justin Gaard from KFAN in Minneapolis joins Kilby to discuss...including JJ's passing issues, the pressure on KOC and the fact that the Vikes most likely can forget about making the playoffs. Plus, some fun. What does a Gaardsy Thanksgiving look like? And where will Kilby be for the special meal? All of this plus, Dilly, Dilly. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The festive season is just around the corner! Today, Mayu shares some simple yet gorgeous ideas — perfect for easy and joyful entertaining. Best of all, they're colourful, fun, and full of festive spirit! - 気づけば2025年も残り約1ヵ月ちょっと。クリスマスや年末年始、ホームパーティーの季節がまたやってきます。今日はそんなときに簡単なのにゴージャス！ そして楽しくおもてなしができる料理をご紹介します。

At this time of the year there's only one place I'd love to be: The North Island. These are the largest moths in Aotearoa. They are also very nicely coloured – lots of green and yellow as well as white and orange patches. Their wingspan is up to 150mm, and they're a noisy flyer at night. Females are often larger than males – they lay masses of eggs as they fly through the forest at night. The relatively small caterpillars hatch on the forest floor and commence eating dead wood, infected by fungal material. The funny thing is that these very young caterpillars only move around for 6 to 12 months, after which they move up tree trunks to find out what the wood tastes like… Once they've found a suitable tree with nice bark and yummy phloem and xylem, they will start to build a long-term tunnel system in which they can live 5, 6, or even 7 years. It's a 7-shaped tunnel that goes into the trunk and down (yes, the shape of a 7!), and it lives there for 7 years. The puriri moth “homes” are always protected by a patch of silk that protects the dwelling from enemies such as centipedes and even small birds. The silk is tough enough to keep the predators out. Caterpillars chew on the re-growth of the Cambium at night and bit by bit, which is why it takes so long for these larvae to become “mature”. Once they have reached their final “instar” (size) they turn into a chrysalis (a “Pupa”) that finally becomes that huge green ghost moth that we see flying at this time of the year. The adult moths (which grew to that size in 7 years!) have just 24 hours (and at most to 48 hours), to do all their loving, living, and shopping. They look spectacular and full of protein and eggs…. Which is why Ruru are keen on hunting these insects LISTEN ABOVE See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mike and Vittorio's Guide to Parenting is a weekly podcast, where two London-based Irish comedians Mike Rice and Vittorio Angelone tackle the current issues facing parents from the unique perspective of not having any children, any interest in children, or mentioning children at all. Check out Filippo's stuff here: https://www.instagram.com/filippospreaficoSign up to the Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/parenting⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Buy tickets for Vittorio's Tour here: ⁠⁠www.vittorioangelone.com⁠⁠ Buy Tickets for Mike's Tour here: ⁠⁠⁠www.mikericecomedy.com⁠⁠ ⁠ Watch Mike's Special here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtu.be/aWgW4LBZHz8⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ Sign up for Mike's mailing list: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://mikericecomedy.us21.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=bb23fc6659c6ccb17551262ef&id=c27f2130fa⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ Sign up for Vittorio's mailing list: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://mailchi.mp/60fb9a4d4173/vittorioangelone⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Thanks for listening! Like, subscribe, drop a comment, all the good stuff.

When a novella tells you in the jacket copy that twenty sailors went swimming and twenty-one came back, you know you're in for some mystery. But that's obviously not ALL the mystery. I'm still not sure I have all the answers but wow was it fun to look for them. Including digressions about Dr. Seuss, iambic pentameter and so much more!

Comedic, comforting Kyle Theige joins The Life Gorgeous to talk about the Vikings frustrating loss to the Ravens. KOC is taking some heat as if Justin Jefferson. Both Kilby and Kyle still think JJ McCarthy could be the guy - he just needs more experience. Plus, the Wolves beat up on bad teams and Kyle absolutely loves Jaden McDaniels. There's also a special moment where Kilby asks if KAT dunked against the Wolves. He sure did. Stay strong young people. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It is sobering to realize how insignificant we are in this universe, how much of a speck. And how much the grandeur of nature - a spectacular lunar eclipse, the sun shining on a quiet sea, a moonlit desert - shows us both the incredible world we live in - as also bring us back to the joy of minutiae, if only we have the eyes and time for it.   And it brings us back to the gorgeous littleness of our lives. How the highest joys are often reserved for the smallest of things. To have someone in our lives, who knows where the hidden mole in our bodies is. Someone who absorbs the worst of what we are and is ready to let us sink in their arms, irrespective. To sit in serene comfort with each other without a single regret in our hearts. Someone for whose well being we pray with the innermost core of our hearts.   Life finds its circle completed in strange mysterious ways. They are no large strokes, there are no Big Bang revelations, it is just the comfort our body and spirit know. A place where we are us and we call it our own.   If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems on the journeys we love - or not -  Departures Distances: Kaifi Azmi Ke Liye It Takes a Long Time to Arrive From Not Very Far Away Subscribe to my newsletter 'The Uncuts' Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup. Get in touch with me on uncutpoetrynow@gmail.com   The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Walking Towards the Light by MusicFiles Majestic Autumn by MusicFiles Link: https://filmmusic.io/en/song/walking-towards-the-light Link: https://filmmusic.io/en/song/majestic-autumn Licence:  https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

The Vikings beat the Lions! Longtime Mpls StarTribune sports columnist Jim Souhan is back from Detroit and joins The Life Gorgeous. Jim and Kilby discuss the immense value of Blake Cashman, the resurgent defense, and...what everyone wants: HOW GOOD IS JJ MCCARTHY?! Kilby thinks he's going to be good. Jim thinks he's going to be VERY good. They both love JJ. What's not to love?! Also some Wolves talk with a focus on Rudy and Dilly. Plus Jim Souhan's Top 5 Movies of All-Time. SKOOOLLL! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Friends! Happy Hallowe'en!This week you GORGEOUS humans sent in your scary/weird stories and we read them out like cheap Reddit podcastersWe hope you had a fab Hallowe'enWe love youFree Palestine! From the River to the Sea, BITCH!See you next week

"I'll dance with these beautiful ghosts and I'll choose to be wild and free." What happens when we view Taylor Swift's music through the lens of our feline friends? In this week's Show & Tell episode, we explore three songs that connect to the world of cats in different ways. From the mysterious cat distribution system to reclaiming the "cat lady" trope, we discuss how cats represent independence, mystery, and the feminine in both literature and Taylor's music. Plus, we dive into why men who hate cats might be revealing more about themselves than they think.   Subscribe for free to get episode updates or upgrade to paid to get our After School premium content: aptaylorswift.substack.com/subscribe. After School subscribers get monthly bonus episodes, exclusive content, and early access to help shape future topics! Stay up to date at aptaylorswift.com    Mentioned in this episode: Cat Distribution System - internet phenomenon Cats Musical - Andrew Lloyd Webber TS Elliot Old Possum's Book Of Practical Cats Marx for Cats Beautiful Ghost - Taylor Swift & Andrew Lloyd Webber, 2019 Cats (2019 film) The Cheshire Cat - Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland Professor McGonagall - J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter The Black Cat - Edgar Allan Poe   ***   Episode Highlights:  [00:37] All about cats! [09:22] "State of Grace" and the cat distribution system [17:18] "Gorgeous" and reclaiming the cat lady trope [27:08] "Beautiful Ghost" and choosing wild freedom   Follow AP Taylor Swift podcast on social!  TikTok → tiktok.com/@APTaylorSwift Instagram → instagram.com/APTaylorSwift YouTube → youtube.com/@APTaylorSwift Link Tree →linktr.ee/aptaylorswift Bookshop.org → bookshop.org/shop/apts Libro.fm →  tinyurl.com/aptslibro Contact us at aptaylorswift@gmail.com  Affiliate Codes:  Krowned Krystals - krownedkrystals.com use code APTS at checkout for 10% off!  Libro.fm - Looking for an audiobook? Check out our Libro.fm playlist and use code APTS30 for 30% off books found here tinyurl.com/aptslibro   This podcast is neither related to nor endorsed by Taylor Swift, her companies, or record labels. All opinions are our own. Intro music produced by Scott Zadig aka Scotty Z.

BEST OF KILBORN. ESPN's John Buccigross joins Kilby for a spirited conversation about all the important things in life: childhood memories, high school hoops, getting a solid 8 hours of sleep, and favorite alcoholic beverages...but wait, there's more. John shares his Top 5 Movies of All-Time and plays the Life Gorgeous Quiz. This is jam-packed young people. And don't forget to go to https://OmahaSteaks.com to enjoy their new Smash Burgers. And use Promo Code GORGEOUS at checkout for an extra $35 off. Minimum purchase may apply. See site for details. A big thanks to our advertiser, Omaha Steaks! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Timberwolves group chat is back with Phil Mackey and Scott Shapiro. The Big 3 preview the Wolves upcoming season with predictions on where the Wolves finish in the West and where ANT finishes in the MVP race. Also, someone thinks Terrance Shannon Jr is going to be. stud. Plus, the Vikes lose a winnable game to the Eagles. It hurts. Jalen. Bring on the Chargers! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Matt Adams is LIVE at Streamsong Resort in central Florida! He is joined by legendary golf course architects David McLay Kidd and Tom Doak to discuss their course designs featured at Streamsong. With the Red, Black, Blue, Chain, and a new yet to be named 5th course under construction, you can see the incredible innovative designs from not just both Kidd and Doak, but Bill Coore and Ben Crenshaw as well.

This week, we're logging back into the Grid for Tron: Legacy — Disney's big-budget sequel that's equal parts visual feast and plot puzzle. With a soundtrack by Daft Punk, digital Jeff Bridges, and light cycles that make zero sense, this movie is definitely something to behold.We cover it all, including:

Also on Arizona Spotlight: Poet and author Tracy K. Smith to visit the Tucson Humanities Festival; Owl and Panther celebrates 30 years of hope; and one man's journey to becoming a full-time "worm wrangler".

Grand Prix season is here!!! We discuss Adam's return to the ice, we preview Grand Prix France, and we bring back the DRAFT. PLUS!!! Tickets for our live shows at Skate America next month are on sale!! The ticket website will be open starting Wednesday, October 15 at 10:00 a.m. ET. Space is limited - get your tickets here: https://fs12.formsite.com/USFSAIT/ss6ocjiaeq/indexSupport us on Patreon: Patreon.com/TheRunthroughPodcastYoutube: The RunthroughPatreon subscribers gain access to each episode in video format a day before the audio release!

Finchy! Minnesota Timberwolves Chris Finch joins The Life Gorgeous and this is the momentum we need to have a great season. Finchy and Kilby discuss Julius Randle breaking out in the playoffs, the enigmatic Rob Dillingham, Terrance Shannon Jr attacking the rim, and what exactly did ANT add to his game. Plus, The Life Gorgeous Quiz - does Finchy know Kilby is a pure shooter? Probably not - he's a busy man. But he knows what his favorite sandwich is... and it's glorious. LET'S GO WOLVES! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join "Dance Talk” ® with Joanne Carey and special guest Tamar Rogoff.In this episode of "Dance Talk” ® with Joanne Carey, host Joanne Carey interviews Tamar Rogoff, a renowned dancer and choreographer, about her extensive career in dance, her influences, and her upcoming performance 'Drop Dead ...Gorgeous.' which is a multimedia dance performance that explores our obsession with the one “perfect“ youthful body and the intersection of money, media and madness that keeps us going to greater and greater lengths in the hopes of finding happiness in the mirror. Joanne and Tamar discuss the importance of storytelling in dance, the impact of social media on body image, and the need for diversity and body positivity in the dance community. They discuss the unique way Tamar is presenting this new work. Tamar shares her journey through various dance forms and her reflections on the insecurities that many face regarding their bodies. The conversation also touches on the significance of audience engagement through talkbacks and the collaborative nature of creating art.Tamar Rogoff is a New York filmmaker and choreographer who explores the outer limits of how people negotiate extreme circumstances. Rogoff's large scale site works, films, and more traditional proscenium performances house her life-long experimental process. The Ivye Project took place in Belarus, at the mass graves of Rogoff's relatives killed in the Holocaust. This became the subject of Summer in Ivye, a documentary by Rogoff and Daisy Wright which screened at the Hamptons International Film Festival. Rogoff choreographed a solo at P.S.122 for Claire Danes, and was her movement coach in HBO's Emmy award winning movie Temple Grandin. Rogoff was a Sundance Institute Documentary Film Fellow where she worked with Daisy Wright on Enter The Faun. Rogoff's methods of release through unorthodox body practices address protagonist Mozgala's cerebral palsy. The documentary, Enter the Faun, toured festivals and was broadcast on PBS America Reframed and in Belgium. Rogoff's short, Wonder About Merri, won “Most Daring Film” at Dare to Dance in Public Festival.Rogoff received grants from National Endowment for the Arts, Rockefeller, Fledgling Fund and is a Guggenheim Fellow. She teaches at LaMama and NYU's Experimental Theater Wing. Rogoff was a founding member of Montreal's Theater 1.More about Tamar Rogoffhttps://tamarrogoff.com/Tickets to the performance of Drop Dead Gorgeous at La Mama on Oct 17-Nov 2https://ci.ovationtix.com/42/production/1248081“Dance Talk” ® with Joanne Careywherever you listen to your podcasts. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://dancetalkwithjoannecarey.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Joanne on Instagram @westfieldschoolofdance Tune in. Follow. Like us. And Share. Please leave a review! “Dance Talk” ® with Joanne Carey "Where the Dance World Connects, the Conversations Inspire, and Where We Are Keeping Them Real."

*Special thanks to Riverside whose software we use to edit our videos; there was a quirk preventing this clip from being exported/perfected, but despite the delay in release, Riverside tech support has been nothing short of brilliant and amazing in identifying and fixing the issue.SEX AND VIOLENCE COLLIDE IN “BONE LAKE”...BUT DOES IT NAIL ITS MONEY SHOT?!??Cheeky sexy marketing campaign? Check. Trailer that makes it look like a sexed-up “You're Next”? Check. Gorgeous, drool-worthy leads? Check. Excellent script and execution…..Uhhhhhhhhhhh WilDaBeast and Cupcake welcome back Tyler from Raiders of the Podcast to give you the skinny (or rather….the girth, maybe?) on the erotic thriller “Bone Lake”. Directed by a woman who also shot a short entitled “Come F*ck My Robot” and written by a screenwriter with only two little seen films as credits, the charged up posters and marketing hint at a bloody sex fest with ex's and axes. Starring Maddie Hasson, Marco Piggosi, Alex Roe, and Andra Nechitta, this thriller has two couples showing up at the same AirBnB where a weekend turns into psychosexual gamesmanship replete with sexing, stabbing, and sawing. But can does it deliver the goods?                GET IT UP FOR THE NEW WATCH SKIP PLUS!!!!For Plusses, Tyler talks the 2005 thriller Derailed, speaking of “psychosexual gamesmanship” while Mike plusses all the fun horror films he's been consuming since “Spooky Season” started October 1 including the in-theatres Regal 31 Screams On Screen.TIMESTAMPS00:00 Teaser02:38 Intro05:55 Bone Lake: Below the Line / The Crew12:02 Bone Lake: Above the Line / The Cast22:17 Spoiler Free Thoughts37:21 SPOILERS AHEAD01:01:48 Tyler's Plus01:05:45 Mike's Plus01:11:45 Outro- - - - - - - - - -WE ARE WATCH SKIP PLUS! FOLLOW/LIKE/SUBSCRIBE/REVIEW/LOVEEmail us: WatchSkipPlus@gmail.com#BoneLake #mercedesbrycemorgan #alexroe #maddiehassan #marcopiggosi #andranechita #joshuafriedlander #roquebanos #bencherney #nickmatthews #LDEntertainment #bleeckerstreetmedia #Regal #regal31screamsonscreen #funhouse #candyman #goodboy #benleonberg #alexcannon #indy

Alison Martino is back! Alison is the creative force behind one of the best Instagrams out there - Vintage Los Angeles. Alison and Kilby talk about their recent dinner at the legendary Dan Tana's and the history of the restaurant. And Alison tells a fascinating story, how her dad, singer Al Martino, somehow lost the song 'Strangers in the Night' to Frank Sinatra. Al Martino apparently had the song first and did a scratch track before the lyrics were written and where Al ad-libbed "doo-be-doo-be-doo." Hmmm...did Frank pull a fast one? Plus, LA Restaurant talk for your next visit to the City of Angels. Let's Go! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I went VIRAL! I've been talking about entrepreneurship and the alcohol-free lifestyle on social media for years, but recently, something I said hit a deep chord: The universe hand-selected you to ditch alcohol because of how massive your purpose on this planet is.  Something in those words clicked for thousands of women — and honestly, I get it. Most women who feel called to this path are visionaries who know they're meant for something bigger. Before I quit drinking 7 years ago, I constantly battled writer's block, but the moment I took a break, it was like a creative floodgate burst open of ideas, inspiration, and energy.  In this episode, you'll discover how that decision unlocks life-changing gifts, from the obvious (like glowing health and renewed energy) to the unexpected (a deep well of confidence and razor-sharp intuition)! Gorgeous, you KNOW you were made for more. If going alcohol-free has awakened something powerful in you, it's because you're meant to guide others too. Join the next round of the Empowered AF 5X Coach Certification Program.    IN THIS EPISODE: Why I believe the universe hand selects certain women to reevaluate alcohol (because their purpose is colossal and world-changing!) The gifts that await alcohol-free living, from unstoppable motivation and deepened self-worth, to million-dollar ideas and unshakable intuition The truth about quitting forever and how to create new social circles and evolve old ones to fit your new life All the programs I offer to fit this new life, from Euphoric the Club to the Empowered AF 5X Coach Certification Program   LINKS/RESOURCES MENTIONED Join Euphoric the Club, the premier movement of successful alcohol-free women with access to all my alcohol-free programs, like Become Emboldened. If you know you're meant to help other people change their relationship with alcohol and achieve deep healing (along with their bigger dreams), apply for the Empowered AF 5X Coach Certification Program – and get 5x certified as a world class alcohol-free coach, mindset coach, success coach, NLP practitioner, and hypnosis practitioner. This program includes a four-month business mastermind and a business retreat in Southern California. Awarded the most empowering book in the sober curious genre, be sure to get your copy of Euphoric: Ditch Alcohol and Gain a Happier, More Confident You today and leave your review.  Follow @euphoric.af on Instagram. And as always, rate, review, and subscribe so we can continue spreading our message far and wide.

Sportscaster Ian Eagle joins Kilby for his annual appearance and they cover the nuances of play-by-play - the word choices, the inflection - and also what it's like having a son follow in your career footsteps. Plus, Kilby has some fixes for the Vikings offense after the loss to the Steelers. Shorter routes, quicker passes! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bretman and Miss Kaaaye are back in the studio (AC on, birds off) and catching up on everything from Coachella lineup tea to the chaos of dapping up straight men. Bret shares wild stories about almost being in a music video, reconnecting with family friends who feel heaven-sent, and how the universe literally returned his lost wallet. Plus: Miss Kaaaye dishes on a Fiji concert, dating woes, and the eternal debate—clingy or cute? It's giving guided, grounded, and a little bit crunk.Produced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Carson Wentz wins! Jon Krawczynski of The Athletic joins Kilby to talk about the big Vikings win including Carson Wentz, Jordan Mason, the defense and some love for Myles Price. Plus a Jeff George reference. Also, Kilby and Jon eloquently summarize the Jimmy Kimmel situation. These guys are so level-headed. Plus, they both fondly remember the greatness of Robert Redford. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

New Free Feed episodes return Tuesday, September 9th! Until then, summer break continues with a look inside the Patreon Carriage House thanks to Yadvina. This week we're going back to July 2020 when we were all stuck inside during the pandemic. But we got through it with our QUIFF Film Festival Series. Here's a peek at what it was like! From 7/17/20: I mean, when you have a cliffhanger that's this dire, you have to dive right in! We waste no time dishing out our advice on what tools make masturbation a more fulfilling experience (a rechargeable wand and Toni Braxton go a long way, apparently). Then, after some reviews and a VERY interesting update from this week's Free Feed Twitter porn issue, we move on to #QUIFF! We had a fairly heavy festival a couple of weeks ago, so we're ingesting some lighter fare this week with STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN and RATATOUILLE. Montalbán's pecs! Shatner's pettiness! Garofalo's French accent! It's all here! When we say there are only a few tickets left to Ask Ronna Live in Boston, we mean it. Like, there are maybe 8 tickets left. If you want to join us on October 4th in Beantown, you better get on it NOW! askronnalive.com Sponsor: Ronna's Loro better get used to some company, because there's a new blanket in The Carriage House, and it comes from Lola Blankets. Get one of these GORGEOUS luxury blankets at lolablankets.com and use code RONNA at checkout for a massive 35% off your entire order! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices