Healing through Pain

Many adult singles - thirties, forties, fifties and beyond - come with a story. Often, there is loss, rupture, and a plethora of pain points they are carrying with them. And yet, they can often be unseen, unincluded, and passed by. How do we reconcile this when healthful community is a key part of living well?

Walking in the light does not mean being perfect. It means we have the freedom to honor our many dimensions - the good, the bad, and even our ugly!

In an extended analogy, take a listen for why fear shows up when we "try again"

How do we go bankrupt? How do we build a meaningful life? The steps are similar; it's the directions we choose

We have processes that play out when we are in shifts and changes. What does that look like for you?

There are layers of understanding to be found in our human interactions and in our own stories. Are we willing to honor the complexities?

Staying in the present helps push back anxiety in numerable ways! But, what would need to be true for me to better stay in the present? Take a listen!

Are we tending to both arms of our experience? Take a listen!

Hope is a keystone of health. It is a cornerstone of agency in our stories. It is an act of bravery. Take a listen!

Do the skills you have build match what the situation needs? Take a listen!

Undeniably, we each bring expertise into the world around us. How can we best navigate when others do things in ways that violate or do not match our expertise? Take a listen!

Time under tension is where we see the most growth. When there is a lot of pressure applied, some key pieces help us navigate the space with growth potential.

Feelings goals can take us into unclear waters! Let's talk about how to make them clearer!

If we are not yet able to extend trust, there is some work for us to do! It is a key part of moving forward and engaging with others

What is the cost when we let the gap between expectations and reality expand? Listen for why expectation management is key to relationships with others, with self, and within communities

What happens when best practices and real experiences are mismatched? Take a listen!

How we language our story will heavily influence the ways we navigate life. Are we telling a clear story? A helpful story?

Taking a feeling and developing it into a workspace can give us some pathways and choices. Take a listen and give this a try!

Responsibility is interesting to consider in the process of change! What if we say things just the right way? Will that get others to change? Take a listen!

There are a few key pieces to engaging change that can help guide the process! Take a listen.

Activation and fear, anxiety, trauma. Although different degrees along a similar continuum, accuracy in language may be helpful. When we are activated, can be acknowledge it and invite out closest people in?

We look at defensive mechanisms through the lens of underdeveloped skills and a not-yet-ability to say the needs we are trying to express.

As we are navigating life, why do things feel so stressful? Let's take a look at what is going on in our story and in the world around us that may help give us insights on the strain!

We all have pain points that can be activated. Here is a look at how that develops and what may be behind some of our responses.

Developing our stories more fully can be an important part of healing. Let's dive into complexity and honor its place as we develop our narratives!

We've talked through this before. It again bears repeating. The messiness is normal. The complexities are normal. Perhaps we can settle in and build a life within that reality.

Each of us gets to decide how to navigate the world around us. That means those we love get those choices too. Take a listen!

What is already happening in and around you? What's next? Perhaps priorities are about continuing to build what has already been started.

Why do establishing priorities matter? How can we get started? Take a listen for some underpinning reasons and a launching point!

We all come from somewhere, and that somewhere has helped write some of the rules by which we operate. What do we do when our rules converge with someone else's formative experiences? Take a listen!

Incompatible? Outright disliked? What is our responsibility and role when that happens?

Tis the season for big feelings! Not only is that OK, but honesty around it is necessary. Show up. Call things by their names. Navigate it with authenticity.

Once we track down an unhelpful belief, what do we do? Take a listen!

Activating Events Belief Systems Consequences Take a listen to how we can use our responses to track down our beliefs. Part One lays the foundation for how to identify beliefs. Next week will focus on the process of change.

Missteps, mistakes, and being flat-out wrong happens. What can we do when we realize we have contributed to disappointment, hurt, pain and more?

What if the tragedies hold hands with a redemptive analogy and the joy holds sacrifice too? Take a listen for complexities and the foundation it lays within our stories.

What if things are what they are? And, from there, we can make some choices. Life is complex and stories are rich, complicated, painful, intricate, and inspiring when we allow our stories to be based in honesty. Is your story allowed to be what it is?

Through an illustrative story, take a trip through the exhaustion that can happen during a reconstruction phase. It takes a while to recreate. That's normal. That's ok.

Some key questions that can help guide our angst from sensations towards cognitions. It is not quick. It is not easy. But it is possible to create pathways through some of our biggest hurts.

What do we do when loaded opinions come our direction? Here's an extended metaphor to help us organize around other people's shoulds.

Three key questions when we are making decisions. Many stop with the first one. Question two is key and question three carries some weight too!

We will feel let down. It is chemical. It is personal. It is relational. What do we want to do when disappointment shows up?

Sure, the title might be misleading. But is the perfect title even possible? Take a listen for the nefarious lies of perfectionism and the ability to carve pathways through!

To love deeply, we need to grieve deeply. Together they create a richer and more honest life tapestry.

What is our response when we find out we were wrong about something? Can humility and openness move us through those moments? Take a listen!

How do we get started with change? First, we need to be honest about where we are at. Take a listen!

Slowing things down to make sure we share language and meaning can be one of the most healthy things to bring into any relationship. Take a listen!

What does an over-time commitment get us? Are we trying to get somewhere or be someone, or are we deciding to train to get somewhere or be someone?

When we invite someone into our hard, our emotions, our crises, and our pain, there is one question we are asking. Take a listen!

Why does anger happen? Is it ok to feel it? Can we heal it? Take a listen!

There are times when it takes a lot of energy to disrupt and rewrite fear. Yet, if we don't expend the energy to resist, the outcomes can be pretty difficult to navigate!