I Hadn't Considered That

NEW PLATFORM: Meeting in the Middle In this week's episode of I Hadn't Considered That, we hear from Michelle, a listener with some questions about ghosting, especially in relationships that are not romantic in nature. To help get to the bottom of Michelle's questions and concerns, I'll be sharing some insight into how prevalent ghosting is, why people do it, and what we can do if we have been ghosted. Resources: BBC article on workplace ghosting Psychology Today primer on ghosting Live Science: Why People Ghost Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. If you enjoyed this podcast, please share it with a friend who may love Meeting in the Middle! Connect with Vanessa: Website: www.vanessatorre.com More writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@vanessaltorre Email: vanessa@vanessatorre.com Voicemail: (602) 551-7359

In this episode, I sit down with Kathryn Finney, author of Build the Damn Thing: How to Start a Successful Business If You're Not a Rich White Guy, to talk about the difference between Entitleds and Builders in the business world and how to change our thinking and strategies to create the business we're confident we can.  Kathryn Finney is an author, researcher, investor, entrepreneur, and businesswoman. She is the founder of Genius Guild, a business creation platform that uses the venture studio model (Lab and Venture Fund) to invest in Black entrepreneurs building scalable businesses, and the founder and Board Chair of The Doonie Fund, a social platform that provides micro-investment to Black women entrepreneurs. Buy Kathryn's book: Build the Damn Thing: How to Start a Successful Business If You're Not a Rich White Guy Website: https://www.kathrynfinney.com/ Instagram: @hiiamkathryn Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre.  Website: www.vanessatorre.com Meeting in the Middle (Substack): https://vanessatorre.substack.com/ Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre

In this week's episode, it's just me and all of my allergies! In this high histamined episode, I'm sharing a big a-ha moment that (not surprisingly) came out of therapy, that brought me joy and changes for the podcast. Exciting things are coming up on the horizon, so tune in and get the deets! And you're going to want this link in a minute: Meeting in the Middle (Substack): https://vanessatorre.substack.com/ Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre.  Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre

I'm joined this week by Lilli Bewley for an amazing conversation about dating that goes so way far beyond the surface. We dig deep into how we learned about love and romance, our failures and successes in love, and how to finally show up in our space and energy in a way that is authentic and magnetic.  Lilli Bewley is a Feminine Dating Coach for Finding Love with over 10 years of experience in personal development. She, herself, went from just surviving in life to thriving in love and purpose. Currently, she is helping women who are single and struggling to date with confidence so that they can find epic, magnetic, extraordinary love with their soul mate. Lilli is on a mission to educate people on how dating can be fun again after a divorce or even in their 30s & 40s & 50s & even if they've been single forever. We have the ability to create magnetic energy in our dating lives even if we have to perform & be high achievers in another area of our lives. Over hundreds of coaching hours, her LOVE Method For Finding Epic Love & her DATE to Soul Mate Blueprint - How to Attract Your Dream Partner without The Drama guide women to find fulfillment and joy in the dating process and in finding their person. Website: lillibewley.com Feminine Archetype Quiz: lillibewley.com/quiz The LOVE Method for Finding Epic Love Free Workbook: www.findepiclove.com Instagram: @lillibewley Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre Help us reach more people! Rate the podcast and leave a review if you like it! Apple Podcasts: Leave a Review!

In this week's episode, I sit with Julie McAllister, an experienced therapist who works to help people who have experienced trauma heal using a specific treatment called eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR). Julie has been a therapist for 15 years and is licensed by the Arizona Board of Behavioral Health Examiners and is a Nationally Certified Counselor. Having worked in the behavioral health field for the past 20 years, Julie has experience serving various populations, but has a special interest in working with first responders and veterans. She also has specialized experience working with members of the LGBT community, as well as individuals newly diagnosed and living with HIV/AIDS.  Resources: What Happened to You - Oprah Winfrey and Bruce D. Perry The Body Keeps the Score; Brain, Mind, Body and the Healing of Trauma- Bessel van der Kolk, MD Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre Help us reach more people! Rate the podcast and leave a review if you like it! Apple Podcasts: Leave a Review!

In this week's episode, I sit down with my friend Sali to talk about the next phase of my life: being an emptynester. This is my first week after having dropped my daughter off at college three states away and I have questions.  Sali Cranleigh hails from Somerset, England and is a two-time retired mom and has been since her son, Harley, left home over a decade ago followed shortly by her daughter, Lola. Sali helps me navigate this new phase of my life by offering insight, perspective, experience, and reassurance that everything will be just fine and as it should be: parents and children doing the best they can in their own space, growing and learning.  Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre Help us reach more people! Rate the podcast and leave a review if you like it! Apple Podcasts: Leave a Review!

In this week's episode, I talk with Joe Duncan, top writer on Medium and editor of the Substack publication, The Science of Sex. In the aftermath of the overturning of Roe v. Wade, we're finding ourselves having more conversations about the roles and responsibilities of men and women and how society has dictated these over time. Joe lends some data and insight into what we're seeing and feeling.  Joe Duncan is a journalist, writer, and editor from Los Angeles, California. He's a defender of liberty and human rights currently residing in Florida. He runs The Science of Sex newsletter on Substack. You can check out his work at Medium.com. He's the editor for the Medium publication Sexography: Conversations About Sex From Around the World, and the creator of the Moments publication on Medium.   References: 1. Why Reproductive Rights Are Necessary: Stealthing, Abortion Laws, and More  2. Christian Nationalism is at America's Doorstep and It's Terrifying 3. History Shows Us the Abortion Issue is More About Religious Control and Less About Saving Lives 4. Let's Talk About Male Birth Control. Study Finds Couples With Vasectomies Have More Sex. 5. Abortion is a Health Issue That Affects Everyone — Including Men 6. Your Rights Are Now On The Chopping Block 7. The Texas GOP Goes to War With Common-Sense Sex Education 8. Republicans Want to Use the Government to Police Our Bedrooms Joe Duncan Medium: joemduncan.medium.com; Sexograpy https://medium.com/sexography Moments of passion: https://medium.com/moments-of-passion Substack: The Science of Sex Instagram: @joemduncan Twitter: @JoeMDuncan Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre Help us reach more people! Rate the podcast and leave a review if you like it! Apple Podcasts: Leave a Review!

In this week's episode, we're having a talk about the overturning of Roe v. Wade because there is no such thing as too much conversation and there are so many conversations we still need to have and we can't stop having them. In this solo episode, I'm going to shed some light on what this decision means, how we got here, and what we can do now. This isn't pontification. It's information, facts, and actions we need to take. Thank you for coming to this space and being part of how we solve this.  Please, if you have friends that need more information and want to understand what we can do to help protect a woman's right to an abortion, and the rights of anyone else fighting for their right to exist in the manner of their choosing, share this episode.  Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre Help us reach more people! Rate the podcast and leave a review if you like it! Apple Podcasts: Leave a Review!

In this week's episode, I am joined by Lacie Jones, the owner of Milky Candles. We have an amazing conversation about starting a small business, what it takes to turn our passion into a business, what obstacles we need to overcome, and the joy that we can find in our endeavor.  Milky Candles is a Queer, Black, + Woman-owned business allowing others the opportunity to control their mental and physical space with their handmade and hand-poured candles. They use cruelty-free and non-toxic ingredients, and emphasize up-cycling your candle vessels to reuse and recycle. Learn about and shop Milky Candles: www.milkycandlecompany.com Shop Milky Candles locally at Dig It Gardens: www.digphx.com Instagram: @milkycandlecompany Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: @vanessaltorre Help us reach more people! Rate the podcast and leave a review if you like it! Apple Podcasts: Leave a Review!

In this week's episode, I am joined by my favorite human being. She's my favorite human because she's the one I made and I love her to all ends. As it's pride month, my daughter Caroline and I sat down to talk about her coming out story, what fears she had, what fears I had, and how it helped us grow as a mother and daughter.  I'm proud of her bravery every day in being who she is and showing up in the world unapologetically as she is. She inspires me and I hope she inspires you with her strength and perspective as well.  Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre Help us reach more people! Rate the podcast and leave a review if you like it! Apple Podcasts: Leave a Review!

In this week's episode, I sit down with Gianna Biscontini to talk about how women are conditioned to give way too many f*cks and how we can break out of our glass boxes and live a more fulfilling and bold life.  Gianna Biscontini is a Board-Certified Behavior Analyst who challenges women to overcome narratives and fight for their rights to live interesting and authentic lives outside boxes created by society. Her work as a keynote speaker, lifestyle design and leadership coach, and writer has gained national attention in publications such as Forbes and has reached podcast audiences in over 100 countries. Prior to publishing Fuckless: A Guide to Wild, Unencumbered Freedom, Biscontini founded the innovative employee well-being agency W3RKWELL.  Website: giannabiscontini.com Book: Fuckless: A Guide to Wild, Unencumbered Freedom Instagram: @giannabiscontini Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre

This week, I am joined by my friend Matt Murphy and together we talk about being an ally. Matt has done a lot of work on shining as a light for others and here we get to dig deep into how he got there and what support means for those giving and receiving it.  Particularly, Matt does a wonderful job being an ally for women which takes empathy and bravery and opens space for growth for others.  Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre

This week, I am joined by John Gorman for a conversation about emotional availability, what it means for us, how we get there, and how opening up and letting go leads to more joy. John is a widely-read writer, thinker, and brand man who has spun words for notable companies such as Dell and political figures such as AOC. John hails from New York but now calls Austin home. We firmly believe he is keeping it weird.  John's writing: https://johnfgorman.medium.com/ The John Gorman Canon: Top stories Instagram: @heygorman Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre

In this week's episode, Daynalyn Wain joins me as we talk about beauty standards and how we're not really keen on them living rent-free in our brains anymore. We delve into how they have affected us at various stages of our lives, from our teen years to middle age, and what needs to happen for society as a whole to normalize just looking like ourselves. Daynalyn is a model and esthetician who has worked in all areas of the beauty and skincare industry. She offers us insight into her world and experiences, sharing a different perspective that offers incredible empowerment.  Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre

In this week's episode, Natalie Merrill joins me to talk about grief, loss, healing, and moving forward in life after a part of your life ceases to be. In this beautiful, real, and open conversation we dive into what grief really is, how we process it, and how that pain brings with it moments of beauty and acceptance.  Natalie is a 26-year-old singer/songwriter from Scottsdale, Arizona who has an incredible way of speaking truth right to your heart.  Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre Resources: The Grief Recovery Handbook Grief Groups Online:  Grieving.com Grief in Common Better Help

In this week's episode, we talk about independence and how it intersects with our inherent need to control our environment as a means of self-preservation. Of course, we can't do this without delving into trust issues and how hard it can be to ask for help.   Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre

Yael Wolfe and I sit down this week to talk about the feminine and the masculine and how both work in and affect our lives. We delve into the different energies and the perceptions of both and how they influence how we have and continue to present ourselves to the world.  Yael is a writer, artist, and photographer whose work is an exploration of what it means to be a woman in a world that has forgotten the Feminine. She is the creative behind the photographic journey, Rising, and the author of Paris, My Love. She's also the Wolfe behind Howl, a temple space and artistic celebration of female sexuality. Yael's essay: When it Comes to Being a Woman, Have I Got It All Wrong? Betty Friedan: The Feminine Mystique ALOK: alokvmenon.com   Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre

In this episode, I sit down with my dear friend, Kristen Hogarth, in the second of a two-part series on dating. Join us as we decipher how to set intentions and boundaries with dating apps. We dig into how social media and dating apps manipulate us, talk about our experience when a dating app manifested itself as a human when we were at brunch, and we even write Kristen's dating profile.   Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre

In this episode, I sit down with my dear friend, Kristen Hogarth, in the first of a two-part series to talk about dating, how we lost our hope, and how we found it again.   Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre

In this episode, I sit down with my dear friend Laura Hamlin, a Phoenix-based country singer-songwriter, to talk about creativity, making music, and being vulnerable in putting art into the world -- and there's a lot of laughing.  Listen to Laura: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5tjb8QGS8Apo6EnY812mrR Website: https://www.laurahamlinmusic.com/ Instagram: @laurahamlinmusic Salt River String Band: @saltriverstringband   Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre

In this episode, I sit down with my dear friend, Shari Homan, to unpack what the hell is happening to us as we get older and why our PE teachers never warned us about middle age, because we're a little miffed about it.   Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre

In this episode, I ruminate on being six weeks in and in need of a pivot. It's real. It's honest. We're going places.  The podcast is going to sound a bit different. There is good reason for it.  I mention my good friend, John Gorman. I think this is his magnum opus. He disagrees: We Will Always Have Water Life is big. And messy. And hard. And beautiful. Let's navigate this thing together, shall we?   Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre

Niki Marinis joins us this week to talk about what it means to be funny, where humor comes from, how it shapes our lives, and how it serves as both a healthy and unhealthy coping mechanism. Niki is a writer, actress, and comedian who has a questionably healthy obsession with owls. Niki's writing: nikimarinis.medium.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/docjohnnyfever Twitter: twitter.com/NikiMarinis   Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre

Art Monaghan shares his experience of losing 300 lbs. and the perspective he gained on health, achieving goals, and getting rid of what holds us back. Having walked the walk, literally, he's now helping others live their healthiest life.  Connect with Art: Instagram: @artmonaghan Facebook: www.facebook.com/artmonaghan   Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre

Joining me this week is Heather MacDonald, a professional Women's Highland Games athlete, Amateur Strongwoman Athlete, co-owner of Unbroken Strength Gym in Peoria Arizona, and Professor of English. She has been involved in the strength sports community as an athlete and organizer for nearly two decades, and currently resides in Phoenix, Arizona. Today we'll be reframing how people think about strength, women's bodies, expectations, and physical and health standards. Heather's Gym: @unbroken_strength Instagram: @feefiefofeather    Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre

Joining me this week is Robert Thornton, executive director of Cloud Covered Streets, a 501c3 non-profit dedicated to bringing showers, haircuts, clothing, toiletry supplies, food, and letters of hope to those living on the streets. Today we'll be reframing how people see and interact with those experiencing homelessness.  Website: www.cloudcoveredstreets.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/cloudcoveredstreets Instagram: @cloudcoveredstreets Link to statistics on homelessness mentioned in the intro: Statistics    Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre

Joining me this week is Shani Silver. Shani is a writer out of New Orleans who has been writing about the single space in order to reframe how we think about being single. For two years, Shani wrote the series “Every Single Day” for Refinery29. She has written content for Medium, launched her own podcast in early 2020 called “A Single Serving,” and recently published her first book: A Single Revolution: Don't look for a match. Light one. It's a book that's changing the narrative around being single, and hopefully helping single women feel better about this beautifully free time in their lives.  Website: www.shanisilver.com Podcast: A Single Serving Book: A Single Revolution Medium: Shani Silver Instagram: @shanisilver Twitter: @shanisilver Some of my favorite articles of Shani's on Medium: “There Is Only One Reason Why You're Actually Still Single” “Enough Already. Where The F*ck Do I Meet My Husband?”   Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre

In this first episode, I'll cover why I'm here, why I think you should be here, and what we're going to do together. I'm thrilled you've joined me and can't wait to dig in.    Thanks for listening to I Hadn't Considered That with Vanessa Torre. You can support the podcast by becoming a Patron: www.patreon.com/vanessatorre Website: www.vanessatorre.com Writing: vanessatorre.medium.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/vanessaltorre Instagram: @vanessaltorre Twitter: www.twitter.com/vanessaltorre