Meg Tuohey - Making Relationships Work

HOW DO I OVERCOME MY FEAR OF RECEIVING LOVE FROM MY HUSBAND Today we have another answer to a question from our Women Making Marriages Work Facebook Group. The question from Brooklyn is this: 'I have a lot of trauma from past relationships this in turn has made it seem nearly impossible for me to open up and and let my husband love me, what is the best way to get over those traumas so I can be an open, more lovable partner and a better mother? I have 3 girls that I want to raise to be strong, independent young ladies that are confident and feel loved completely but it’s hard to do when I myself need to heal so I can break this cycle.' I'm going to answer it and map out a plan for not just recovery but how to thrive from here. PS. Masterclass: https://joinnow.live/s/srs3OI PPS. Breakthrough Call: http://workwithmeg.com/talk Enjoy, Meg

Tonight I'm answering a question from Heather who posted it in a thread in our Women Making Marriages Work (WMMW) FB Group. This is her question: "How about advice on healing from an emotionally and mentally abusive (and neglectful) marriage? For 8 years I played the part of a good wife as best I could and went out of my way to do far more than anyone I knew did for their husbands or partners. I worked until I was in desperate pain and then kept going so I wouldn't disappoint him. (Serious health issues here) He has changed, like actual real change, but it just feels like he hurt me too deeply for too long and just killed the possibility of ever loving him again. And how can I even try without the fear of him turning back into the person he was?" Anyone in pain in their relationship that doesn't know how to move forward needs to listen to this. Talk soon, Meg Masterclass: https://joinnow.live/s/srs3OI Free Breakthrough Call: http://workwithmeg.com/talk

DON'T BE LIKE ME.... Friends, I come here with an admission of guilt as it pertains to avoiding doing what needed to be done. And, I knew better, I just didn't do it. So. Don't be me. Watch and learn and here's the Masterclass: https://joinnow.live/s/srs3OI Talk soon, Meg

Tonight I'm mapping out the exact pathway you went down to lose connection with your husband and what it is that you both really want. Then we're going to talk about what exactly you can do to get drastically different results. Looking forward to it, Meg

Tonight I'm unpacking what your feelings are telling you, how to know what you don't want, so that you can design and then create what you do want. And most importantly, how to make a bridge from the old life, that isn't working for you the way you wish it would, into the new one. Here's the Masterclass Link so that you can learn more of the skills you need to 'cross over': http://bit.ly/mrwmasterclass Talk soon, Meg

Talking tonight about what complaints are, why we have them and what to do to turn them into something that serves a purpose. Let's do this, Meg PS. Masterclass Link: http://bit.ly/mrwmasterclass

Talking tonight about the most common problem we have in our clients. Which, is, essentially, a real/perceived need to control/manage the environment around us until we are gripping so tightly that we have some sort of meltdown. Internal or external. Large or Larger. Then, with that blow out, we find our feet, have some respite for awhile, until... we're back in that same cycle. Masterclass: http://bit.ly/mrwmasterclass It's going to be a great conversation, Meg

Hi WMMW,   Talking tonight about dating our husbands/partners in lockdown, or quarantine, or covid-19 in general.   If you're feeling low in energy, this is for you. If you're feeling disconnected from your significant other, this is for you. If you're on a downward spiral into disconnect, this is for you.   Please share how you remain connected in the comments below, Meg PS Masterclass: http://bit.ly/mrwmasterclass

On the 29th of May, I posted a question in the WMMW Facebook group. It said "Fill in the blank: 'I can't be in a healthy masterful marriage because I haven't ______________ yet.'" The responses I received were themed, and tonight I'm going to talk about why they were themed in the way that they were. I'll also cover the antidote that will allow you to give/receive a healthy, masterful marriage. Meg PS. Masterclass Link: http://bit.ly/mrwmasterclass

We're being called to grow in our hearts and minds across many relationships right now. In our marriage, in our parenting - yes, always. But also in our community through COVID-19, through Black Lives Matter, through voting and many other issues that are now up in the general conciousness. We are being called to learn and grow like never before. I love this. And I have also noticed that to be able to show up as allies and advocates across all these spaces, we need to have energy to do so lovingly. Without energy we blame, criticize, defend and disconnect. We close ourselves off to others, and aren't available to reconnect. This isn't serving our marriage, our children, our communities. So tonight - I'm lifting the lid on how to build a surplus of energy that allows you to show up in the way that you are called to. With integrity and connection. Meg PS: Here's my Masterclass link: http://bit.ly/mrwmasterclass

Hi WMMW, Talking tonight about failure and all the bits and pieces that failure represents. You're not going to want to miss this, Meg PS. Masterclass Link: https://bit.ly/mrwmasterclass

Talking today to the parts of you that have had it with a marriage that is failing, and a huge load that you are carrying through your day to day life. The load that is just too heavy to bear anymore. And it feels like the only thing to do is to quit. Quit the things that are hurting you.... like your marriage. Hold on. Watch this. We get to create the ending we want.... Meg PS. Masterclass: http://bit.ly/mrwmasterclass

Most women I know chase their tails to manage their lives. They have lists to do, and a house and family to run. They assess themselves on how much they get done. And those in troubled marriages assume that they can 'work' their way out of that trouble. After all these years in this space, I know this is a lie. You can't 'work' your way out of a marriage in crisis. You have to 'be' your way out of a marriage in crisis. Let me explain, Meg PS. Masterclass Link: http://bit.ly/mrwmasterclass

Talking tonight about your inner critic. The one that makes you wrong most of the time. The one who sends you off each day with a list to do that won't get done without a personal cost, and the one who doesn't cheer you on... ever. We'll explore how she fits with you, and your husband/family and the impact she has... then we'll talk antidotes. It's going to be a good one, Meg PS. Masterclass: http://bit.ly/mrwmasterclass

You're not alone. This is a human thing.   Let's unpack why we get stuck, how we get stuck and then look at ALL of that stuff as it sits with you and your life, and you and your marriage.   Diving right in, Meg   PS: Masterclass: http://bit.ly/mrwmasterclass    

Hi WMMW, I've been interviewing some graduates of my program this week, and in preparation for sharing their stories with you, I felt called to talk through something really important.   The difference between a 'safety' voice and a 'heart spaced voice'.   Meg   PS: Masterclass Link: http://bit.ly/mrwmasterclass

Talking tonight about the metaphor for thinking that doesn't serve you well (muddy boots in a white room) and how to create a life where there is mud BUT not muddy boots. Not only is this possible, it's available to you to start creating today. Talk soon, Meg

But first, how are you? Talking tonight about why husbands/people look to divorce, what is behind the need to 'close the door on the marriage' and then how to counteract this. Masterclass: http://bit.ly/mrwmasterclass Talk soon, Meg

Stress overflows into marriages, relationships and families. It leaves a mark, it leaves bitterness, disconnect and sadness behind it. When you are a leader in your family, how you manage your own stress is important. In the midst of a pandemic, you'd better believe it is CRITICAL. Here's how you can bring your stress down to low levels so that you can set the tone for your marriage, your family and your community. Here's how you can be the leader everyone is looking for. xo, Meg

In the midst of this pandemic, lots of couples are having lots more sex. Which is awesome for many, and not so awesome for the rest. I'm going to unpack the two types of sex for couples, and what to do if you're stuck in the negative cycle of one of them. Let's unpack this,   Meg

I asked my Women Making Marriages Facebook Group what the hardest thing was for them during this quarantine/self isolation/social distancing. And the thread that united all the responses was self care, leadership of self/family/marriage. So. That's what we are talking about tonight. Hearts full, hands clean. Let's do this. Meg

Today's FB Live is inspired by a post in my WMMW Facebook Group, Lisa who left this question for me in the 'Calling All Topics' Thread. I'm looking forward to answering it! Remember, now is the VERY BEST TIME to work on yourself and your marriage. Stay safe out there friends! xo, Meg

If ever there was a time in our short history on the planet, that we are called to set aside our distractors, and come together to do 'the work' that is required to write history, and to write it well. It is now. Here is your call to action. Meg

We have the greatest opportunity to step into our new selves in the midst of crisis. Let's walk through this pandemic, united and feeling a sense of togetherness. Here's how to do it. Clean hands and Wise Woman Leadership unite! Meg

Well isn't that a dramatic headline! Talking tonight about the impact of fatigue on your life, your marriage, and parenting. All of us live with less 'gas in the tank' than we need. All of us cope with that. But what is the cost? Meg

I'm answering a question tonight from Lisa in our WMMW community. She wants to know why she doesn't know how to be vulnerable in her marriage anymore. I'm going to be unpacking the nitty-gritty of vulnerability and how safety plays a major role in this space. Meg

I'm answering another WMMW member question tonight, Susan's. She wants to know how to support her husband who is going through a mid-life crisis. I'm going to answer - it's going to be an answer you've never heard. How fun! Meg

Tonight we're covering how and when and why our brains bring us data points. How that can serve us as we build and create something important, and NOT serve us when we are unfocused and looking to confirm our hypotheses about our husbands. Let's unpack this. Meg

I'm going to attempt a metaphor (not my strong suit) about technology and self. Specifically, how we need to continually upgrade our operating systems - which is our sense of self and the ways we take in information and process it then react to it. Looking forward to unpacking this with you! Meg

Talking tonight about clarity and depth in relationships - the one you have with yourself (the only cake you get) and the one you have in your marriage (the cake you get to co-create). xo, Meg

I'm talking today about family history and where you fit into that history. We'll focus on what you have inherited and what you can do to change/influence that. Talk soon! Meg 

We are going to unpack the most simple yet HARD skill to bring to a marriage in crisis. I'll describe what it is, how it works and how to do it (and where to go to get help if you need it). Meg

About 90% of the women I work with tell me their husband has stopped communicating with them, and responds only in 'task' related conversations, or will answer in short, often curt answers.  There seems to be no vulnerability, no marriage leadership and no way of getting the marriage back on track.  Let's unpack this tonight! xo, Meg Ps: Here is the Masterclass link: http://bit.ly/mrwmasterclass

This is a question I get every day. Where a husband who is out of ideas, out of skills and out of hope that his marriage can still work calls it quits.  In doing so, he relieves the tension he feels of being a 'failure' and truly believes there is no hope. The trouble with this decision is that there usually IS hope. Only he hasn't found the thing that works before calling it quits.  This is where YOU can step in...Let me talk you through how to do this. xo, Meg 

I cannot stand 'Fake it Til You Make it'. It is the very WORST strategy going round.  Let me share with you the antidote, that allows you to successfully navigate the very thing you are TERRIFIED won't work (i.e. the thing you are 'faking').  Tune in, you're not going to want to miss this! xo, Meg   

I'm talking tonight about how we become who we are, and how easily it is to stay there and not question it. And how easy it is to make the decision to change. Meg  

Tonight we are going through a step-by-step, behind the curtains look at how we assess the health of your marriage. Bring a pen and paper, and let's do this.  xo,  Meg 

Answering a question from Women Making Marriages Work today, from Lyndsey, who wonders how to navigate being married to a husband who stonewalls anytime she tries to talk through issues. Lyndsey has tried everything and feels like however, she approaches it, she will have his same reaction of stonewalling for days afterward. I'm going to unpack this, and talk to you about where it's coming from, why people use this strategy and the dangers of not interrupting this cycle (also where to go to begin to do it differently). xo, Meg

Visualize the life you are dreaming of and what goals you can set for yourself to get there! Now, I want you to take those goals and WRITE THEM DOWN! You have the ability to create the life you want!! xx Meg

I'm talking about something incredibly important tonight. And this is the long-held 'myth' that you can parent well when your marriage is in crisis. The truth is, you can parent well in a crisis, but the state of your marriage has a DIRECT impact on your children's self-esteem, their ‘map of the world' and the damage done emotionally by parents who are unable to create a connection and lead their family with a stable, united safe and connected 'eco-system’. This is a call to action, this is you remembering what it was like when your parents weren't getting along and the impact that had on you and how it has manifested all these years later into the marriage you currently have.   Let's be the change we want to see. Don on your Superhero cape -we are the leaders we have been waiting for.  xo Meg  

Do mental health problems live in your marriage? Do you find yourself tiptoeing around those issues and trying to avoid triggering the protective responses that are connected to them? Is this having an impact on your marriage in the worst possible way - where those mental health problems become the primary source of decision making for each of you (through trying to avoid their triggering) and you can't solve ANY real issues, because you can't respond freely, or talk openly. And if you try to bring up your problems or concerns, it always ends terribly. Where your beloved is tripped into old patterns of feeling depressed, not good enough, lonely, isolated, anxious and in an altogether downward spiral? If so, you're not alone. This is incredibly common in a marriage and common within this group. I'm answering this question from our WMMW Closed FB Group tonight. See you there, Meg

'Boundaries' are a very 2019 conversation and YET most of us still don't really 'get' what a boundary is, or if we do - we don't know how to hold it in the face of it being challenged. So, my gift to you these holidays is a conversation around boundaries.  What they are. How they work. Why they are important. And how to do them successfully! xo, Meg

Talking tonight about how we get in our own way when it comes to the holidays. If you are someone (or married to someone) who; * Gets discombobulated with all the changes to routines across the holidays * Is asked to manage more than you can handle, and not really acknowledged for it * Wants to enjoy the Holidays but finds all the moving parts hard to manage and then finds themselves becoming the version of themselves that gets angry/upset/stressed and THEN disconnects from everyone important to you while you try to settle yourself down This is the message for you! Happy Holidays everyone! xo Meg

Want to understand how these work? Where they come from?  What to do about them in YOUR marriage?  Tune in. Then let's talk.  xo,  Meg   

I'm answering a WMMW work community member question from Yvette today, who wants to know how to influence her husband who is using denial as a coping mechanism. Denial is made up of avoidance and active resistance to growing/taking responsibility and doing hard things - I'll take you through all of this, and more. The holidays are fast approaching, and now is the time for leadership. Let's do this friends!

I'm going to start by defining what infidelity is because it's actually far broader than many of us think. Then we are going to cover what happens in a marriage where infidelity has occurred and exactly what needs to happen in order to GENUINELY repair the shattering of trust, commitment, and safety within the marriage. I'll also tell you exactly what NOT to do in the aftermath of an affair reveal. xo, Meg PS. Here's the link to my Masterclass - http://bit.ly/mrwmasterclass

I'm covering a really painful topic tonight. What divorce is, what it means, and what happens. Nope, not from a logistical standpoint -but instead, from a physiological, emotional and psychological perspective. I'm talking about the impact on children, and the impact on you, and your husband. I'm ALSO talking antidotes. Specifically, what to do to support yourself and your family. AND HOW to do it differently. I regularly work with women navigating separation, and we are able to help them work through the repairs that need to happen, and to work through co-parenting challenges. If you DON'T want to go through divorce and are ready, willing and able to work on your marriage - here's my Masterclass: https://bit.ly/2rXCt7K

Many people, very often women, use a part of their personality that we call 'The Controller/Scolder' to run their marriage (and perhaps their life). We're going to explore this part of your personality and talk about why you use it, what you're trying to achieve when you activate it, and what the antidote is. This is a deep dive into understanding self, and to understand others. You're not going to want to miss this! xo, Meg P.S here's my Masterclass: https://bit.ly/2rXCt7K

Tonight we are MYTH BUSTING. You know that old adage, 'never go to sleep angry'?   I'm calling it - it is out of date and an inappropriate response to big feelings.   Talking tonight about why going to bed upset is ok and talking alternatives that WORK to help you process those big feelings.   Tune in for more details, Meg PS. Here's the link to my Masterclass -http://bit.ly/mrwmasterclass

Halloween is DONE. Now the onslaught of holiday festivities! This will make you happy if you have a way to ALLOW yourself to thoroughly enjoy this time of year, OR it will make you MISERABLE if you know it's going to add to the mental load you already carry. If your marriage is in crisis, your holidays are going to be EVEN HARDER. Talking tonight about your legacy, and the type of experience you want your husband and family to share with you. I know it's tricky when you have YEARS of unresolved pain and grief/loss to show up and authentically be able to enjoy these holidays. And so the call to action is to watch this live and DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT THIS YEAR. Meg PS. If you want to know more about my Masterclass, here's the link: http://bit.ly/mrwmasterclass

SUFFERING IN YOUR MARRIAGE? Let's talk about the antidote, xo, Meg PS. If you want to know more about my Masterclass, here's the link: http://bit.ly/mrwmasterclass