Poorly Explained

Ready to dive into that Shannussy? Then join us tonussy for The Swussy of Shanussy! ...I mean Part 2 of Terry Brooks novel, The Sword of Shannara!!

Welcome to Sword of the Rings, home of Bauron and Gnome Gnurses! Introducing Terry Brooks': The Sword of Shannara Part 1!

This podcast is full of holes...looking to be filled.... With wholesome feelings you pervert don't be gross!

Love God, Kill God, Be God? Its a scifi book about aliens, so which one of these will it be? Join us to find out with Arthur C. Clarke's famous novel, 2001: A Space Odyssey!

Bek needs to wash their brain out with soap! Join us for what Bek thought was going to be a wholesome books, but turned into a mass murder full of racism as we roast J.M. Barrie's children's story: Peter Pan!

Crab? Crab. We love Crab. Join us for Drew Magary's whiplash novel, The Hike!

A pretty simp and an emotionally stunted clay man with their bald follower of god? What else can two idiots ask for?? Enjoy Zen Cho's novella: The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected in Water!!!

Guess whose (hoo)turn it is to do the episode...again? The good egg of the batch, Elliott comes soaring in to bring you Kathryn Lasky's Guardians of Ga'Hoole!. Sorry for the puns, Bek's feeling a bit peckish!

We're off to see the Shrike! The wonderful Shrike of Hyperion! Because Because Because we hate everything he does! Join us for the second part of Dan Simmons classic Sci Fi novel, Hyperion!

Elliott's currently favorite book? An entire chapter dedicated to doing the naughty? You enjoying us talk about a sci-fi book with amazing art? Its more likely than you think! Join us for Dan Simmons classic sci-fi novel, Hyperion!

Who was going to tell Bek that Dune is nothing like Tremors, or were they supposed to find out by reading themselves? Join us for the first half of Dune (which is nothing like tremors) by the illustrious Frank Herbert!

Suprise! Not the track you thought, but the one you deserve ;) Enjoy the book Bek found by accident, but enjoyed way more thanthey should have! Presenting Nghi Vo's LGBTQ+ novel: The Empress of Salt and Fortune!

Continuing the theme with the gay vampire, we have THE Lesbian Queen Vampire herself, Carmilla! And she does not disappoint! Listen as Bek simps over the two lesbians learning to love and murder in Sheridan Le Fanu's vampire book (which Bram Stoker's Dracula was based off of), Carmilla!

News flash! Vampires have always been gay! Enjoy the reoccurring guest star read uncomfy sex scenes in their best Count Chocula voice with S. T. Gibson's queer vampire book, A Dowry Of Blood!

Were back with the teen novels! And this time there's birds, but who remembers that when we have a early 2000's makeover to talk about! Join us as we flash back to how much we either loved or would have loved this book as middle schoolers with James Patterson's young adult novel, Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment!!

Twilight with elves instead of vampires? Its more likely than you think! Join us talk about a girl and her magic wolf! Oh and I guess there's some elves also.... Presenting Elise Kova's A Deal With the Elf King!

This guy really hates potatoes. JOIN US FOR THE POTATO FILLED BOOK The Martian, by beloved author Andy Weir!

If only this book had Billy Crystal narrating. Instead we get Elliott's impression of Buttercup. JOIN US! For the classic fantasy comedy novel by William Goldman, The Princess Bride!!!

Dragons? Oh my my! Join us as we enjoy the first half of the book, the large jelly bean, the nega-dilf, and the one random tidbit about religious lore, then roast the rest in Christopher Paolini's famous first book in the Inheritance series: Eragon!

We only have three words to say about this book... Guns goin' off. Join us for the game changing book about the gay mens (they exist), Annie Proulx's novella: Brokeback Mountain!

We have been around for 50 episodes! Wow! Join us for the big celebration for J. R. R. Tolkien's (or Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien as Elliott says)ground breaking fantasy novel, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring!

We live in a society! And sometimes all we want in that society is to be a convivence store woman! Join us as we talk about housing incels, and being honest to yourself in Sayaka Murata's stand out novel, Convenience Store Woman!!

Yay Zombies! But wait, this isn't anything like the movie? Wait! Its BETTER! Join us as Bek talks about Paul Redeker (more like freaks out, lets be honest), and Elliott hum (as one does), in Max Brooks FANTASTIC novel (and audio book) Minecraft: The Mountain...just kidding! Zombies here we come! Welcome to World War Z!

What can we say? This book is better than Hunger Games in our opinion plus, it has a cheese cult classic movie to go along with it! Join us for Koushun Takami's best seller in Japan: Battle Royale!!!

Time Travel? Children that aren't children?! Giant crabs?!? Futurama?!?! That sure is a lot in a very short episode! Please enjoy H. G. Wells: Time Machine!

Alien and science talk galore! We understand neither, but hey, its okay cause the Earth isn't part of the galactic federation! Join us for Carl Sagan's novel: Contact!!

Bek finally got to do their favorite novel! Not only that, but Elliott gets to listen to them simp about Michelle Pfeiffer...whoops! Anyway, join us as we talk about the sweet boi Tristran and his star lady dom! Introducing Neil Gaiman's novel: Stardust!!

A Time Fruit? A Watch Tangerine? A Sundial Clementine? Either way, this book was shorter than expected, written in a not-English English and contained mass amounts of ULTRA-VIOLENCE (so trigger warnings for those who do not know about this book...like Bek...). Presenting Anthony Burgess (least favorite novel he has written): A Clockwork Orange!

We have a guest this episode! Please enjoy Kaylee read one quote then give up and let Bekah do it instead while she contemplates the lack of robotic boobs! What can we say, we can help but explain it poorly! Introducing Isaac Asimov's novel that the movie is nothing like: I, Robot (and please know...Will Smith is not in it).

Happy Black History Month! Pleas enjoy the gay, the mispronunciation, and the entire time of Bekah loving Mossi! Presenting Marlon James's Black Leopard, Red Wolf!

Bekah finally got to read her gay book. She is very happy, but not as happy as Ruth finally getting to be gay with her butch lover. Join us as we jump around different time frames, mimic the southern accent poorly, and generally simp over the gays in Fannie Flagg's novel: Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Café!

Elliott spins a tale of a sexy Captain Nemo and Bekah is still waiting for Dory to show up....Join Us as we dive deep underwater where its not always better where its wetter in Jules Verne's famous Novel: 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea!

Of Shrews and Dudes is what this boils down to as we cry over deaths, talk about meat hair, and get confused by all the "C" names in the famous novel by John Steinbeck: Of Mice and Men!

Elliott's voices are so good this episode! Maybe its the fact that its the first time we are recording in four weeks, maybe its because we keep calling it Loord of the Floos.... Join us as we read the classic novel by William Golding: Lord of the Flies!

Bekah has Covid! Sorry!

Is Aslan God? Are the main kids really the children of Adam of Steve? Can lions clap? The world may never know.... Join us considering furry Aslan in C.S. Lewis's novel: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

Sir, this is my emotional support bear dad. especially since real dad turned out to be weird. Join us as we hate fictional parents in Philip Pullman's novel and first in the series: The Golden Compass (or The Northern Lights)! You decide!

The only reason the people who survive in this book survived is because of the smol soft boi, Jim Hawkins! Join us as we explain (with minimal accidental calling of Treasure Planet) Robert Louis Stevenson's novel: Treasure Island!

Mama Mia! Here we go again with another Hugo Award winning novel and ignoring character names! Presenting Ann Leckie's multiple award winning novel, Ancillary Justice!

Want a short episode to listen to in your bath? The enjoy Bekah cutting out 80% of the dialogue and world building as we talk about Sati and her simp, Shiva! Presenting Amish Tripathi's The Immortals of Meluha!!

Percy Jackson and the Adults Letting 12 Year-olds Literally go to Hell. That is what this book is about right? Join Elliott and Rebekah as they bring back Batman, talking about cousins dating, and irresponsible adults in Rick Riordan's hit young adult novel: Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief!

God of War taught us how to pronounce these names, but lets be honest, when have we pronounced something correct? Join us in not being able to say Jormungand and talk about how much of a himbo Thor is in Neil Gaiman's series of short stories: Norse Mythology!

Elliott is back at it with some gay bois to fill your need! We ignore names, create head cannons, and (badly) do some Batman impressions! Please enjoy Madeline Miller's The Song of Achilles!

We have made it through our first series and golly gosh gee! Was it a ride! Tune in here for Elliott getting lost in the time line because he forgets Hoa's perspective is in the past! He's almost as confused as our listeners!! Presenting the finale to the Broken Earth Trilogy: N. K. Jeminsin's The Stone Sky!

A FIRST IN POORLY EXPLAINED HISTORY! Listen as Elliott and Rebekah get more and more shook as we read the sequel to the Fifth Season and second book in the Broken Earth Series. Presenting N. K. Jemisin's Hugo Award winning book: The Obelisk Gate!!

This book was so amazing and so liked by Rebekah and Elliott (who only had Rebekah's poor explanation as a basis) that they both decided to actually finish the whole series! Maybe then Rebekah will be able to remember to say the main character's name correctly for once! Presenting another book by a black author in support of Black Lives Matter: N. K. Jemisin's FANTASTIC novel, The Fifth Season!

Elliott and Rebekah are back! And showing their support of the Black Lives Matter movement by reading a book by a black author! So join them in the mass amount of feels and realizing how NOT religious both of them are as they continuously pronounce "Pilate" wrong! Presenting: Toni Morrison's AMAZING novel, The Song of Solomon!

Who would have thought Frankenstein was actually supposed to be hot? And who would have though Elliott would have a spot on impression of Squidward? And who would have though those two occurrences would have became so intertwined during the horrible explanation of Mary Shelly's classic novel: Frankenstein: The Modern Prometheus!

Nothing says vampire like *insert bad Dracula impression her* "Blah Blah Blah!" Elliott and Rebekah tried their hardest with this book, but there is just something about Dracula's peculiarly sharp teeth that got to them. Maybe its the scariness...maybe it is the fact they cant pronounce peculiarly. Join us as we horribly break down the classic novel, Bram Stoker's Dracula!

Just like Dopinder, you are our young Kirsten Dunst to smooth, handsome-faced Brad Pitt, and we are here to give you more...MORE VAMPIRES THAT IS. Enjoy Elliott and Rebekah freak out over the book which is finally embracing the gays in an amazing non-sucky (ha ha) way! Presenting Anne Rice's Novel: Interview With A Vampire!

About three things Elliott and Rebekah were absolutely positive. First, this book is a wild take on vampires. Second, there was a part of Rebekah-and she didn’t know how potent that part might be-that still thinks Twilight is entertaining. And third, Elliott unconditionally and irrevocably hated every moment of this episode with a fiery passion. Presenting our horrible take on Stephanie Meyer's best selling novel: Twilight!