Reading Scott's Diary

Happy Christmas RSD fans! The podcast with heart returns for a joyful walk down memory lane as Scott and Lizzie take a look at more tat from Scott's past, unearthing boiled lemurs, a disturbing Rydell High shirt and a shocking piece of morbid memorabilia. Elsewhere, table talk turns to intimate waxing, sandy sandwiches and tackle whether Lizzie is finally a MILF.

It's the season finale! Scott celebrates his 15th in style as he gets a brand new flip phone, flattens a chair and sees a BIG birthday bulge. Elsewhere, his role as Satan is talk of the school, he enjoys his pop divas when he's home alone and comes to Sharon Osbourne's defence after a viewing of TV's Bitchiest Moments. Around the table, Lizzie and Scott chat how to pronounce film titles, poorly received small talk and a thundering performance of Riverdance. 

With Scott's 15th birthday merely days away, he contemplates calling the whole thing off, takes pride in his shoe size and has a near death experience?! Along with a teen magazine problem page photocopied and stuck in the diary, Scott and Lizzie chat getting Valentine's cards from your mum, hating pugs, menacing cats and just how much IS a first class stamp in 2023?

Scott's 15th birthday is STILL on the horizon as he gets a very memorable headache, gives his trousers a good mashing, and gets positively giddy over a death on Wisteria Lane. Around the table, Lizzie and Scott enjoy a big book of dinosaur jokes, what Lizzie thinks as she watches Friends for the first time ever, and a live on-air toenail reveal.

Scott gets involved with two of 2005's biggest trends: happy slapping and LiveStrong charity wristbands, celebrates Charles and Camilla's BIG announcement, and catches his grandma red handed in an egg-based lie. Around the table, Lizzie and Scott chat making a screensaver for your crush, panic buying gig tickets and asks did their generation invent sex?

It's February 2005 as Scott repeatedly tries to cheat in exams, comes down with a very mysterious illness and helps clean his grandad's buckets, all with his 15th birthday on the horizon!!! With Lizzie, they chat getting ghosted, performative lesbianism, road-tripping with Sea Monkeys, Lizzie's intimate encounter with a mirror and Scott's Instagram spat with a member of Steps.This episode contains discussions of true crime that may not be suitable for all listeners.

Scott takes study leave as he prepares for his year 10 exams, continues his hunt for a remote control and gets loose in the bath. Meanwhile, Lizzie is OFF vanilla slices after Scott's toilet blunder, and chats about the way not to market films, unacceptable names for chickens and how amazingly talented they both are. 

Scott sells his body parts for cash, gets violent with a crayon, and enjoys the hottest night in the school calendar: Stars in Their Eyes. Pupils take to the stage as Blue, Judy Garland and Björk, but it's the Red Hot Chili Peppers that send everyone mad. Table talk with Lizzie turns to Scott's inability to be punished, Big Brother's golden ticket giveaway and how we all sweat.

RSD turns 50! In the 50th episode of THE podcast with heart, Scott's fingernails are under the microscope, he offers to rustle up some grub for his friends, and laughs for the very first time. Around the table, Lizzie and Scott chat being embarrassed by a menu, party song royalty Black Lace and Scott witnessing a clumsy new mother's blunder on the Tube.

It's January 2005 as Scott's masculinity is questioned in drama class, he gets hot and bothered about nocturnal emissions, and Hollywood is reeling after Brad and Jen announce their split. Elsewhere, Scott's got covid! With Lizzie, he chats ironic vinyl purchases, growing up in Blackpool, and asks will Peter Kay still be funny in 2025?

Scott learns all about erections at different ages, faces repercussions for eating too much sugar and gets deeply offended by Jerry Springer: The Opera. Around the table, Lizzie and Scott chat sex with dinosaurs, getting endangered species to breed and what not to think about on your deathbed. 

Scott sees in 2005 with a damp squib of an evening and a whole load of friend drama, hatches his Sea Monkeys and drips tears on to the diary. Elsewhere, Lizzie and Scott chat pirated DVDs, Hocus Pocus, and using a lemon to add some flavour to your parson's nose. 

It's Christmas 2004! Scott prepares a list of expected gifts on Christmas Day, casts himself as the pantomime dame and harshly criticises the Christmas cabaret. With Lizzie, table talk turns to painful piercings, how to correctly use a bathrobe and Lizzie suggests throwing some of the diary in the BIN?!

It's December 2004 as Steve Brookstein is crowned X Factor winner,  Scott relishes being the class clown, and even the bin man joins in the bullying. Around the table, they chat Lizzie's love life, dodgy gym playlists and misguided attempts at emo fashion.

Scott has a lovely little walk to the post office, gives some terrible birthday presents and steams his face over the stove. Around the table with Lizzie, they talk sobriety, fetishising consent and Scott getting in touch with the Advertising Standards Agency AGAIN!

Scott is left reeling over explosions on the cobbles, gets ANOTHER harsh dose of reality in drama class, and is terrorised by children at his mate's house. Around the table, Lizzie and Scott chat getting trolled after a TV appearance, the best response to being ignored on dating sites, and club nights for girls with big appetites.  

Scott receives a signed photo from the incomparable Beverley Callard, practices walking the red carpet and heads to the cinema to see The Grudge. Elsewhere, Lizzie and Scott chat the politest way to ask for something in the bedroom, what to do with your adult toys when you die, and Maureen from Driving School's hit single. 

RSD is back! Scott and Lizzie open up the third diary and read all about Scott rocking the mic at karaoke, getting in to a spot of bother with an orange and turning super sleuth to read his friends' private conversations. Elsewhere, they get to grips with fridge artwork, everyone's favourite bug explorer, and ANOTHER harebrained moneymaking scheme. 

In the fourth and final part of the four bird roast, Scott and Lizzie find out what teachers REALLY thought of him, more thinly veiled swipes, unfortunate nicknames and dreams of stardom. Elsewhere, they chat school reunions, sexy scarecrows, scary skeletons and Scott's 2008 letter from Lizzie as he departed for university.

The leaver's messages continue as Scott and Lizzie read all about the days of MySpace Street Teams, skiving P.E for two years and dramatic tumbles down the stairs. Around the table, they chat accidentally driving to Wales, playing spin the bottle and getting accused of being a fluffer. 

The bumper Christmas extravaganza continues as Scott and Lizzie open up his leaver's book and read all about how hot he was in year 4, tomato sauce based comedy and squeezing in to a culturally inappropriate outfit. Elsewhere, table talk turns to trips to the dentist, MSN emoji codes and secret knee kissing. 

Scott and Lizzie open up Lizzie's year 11 leaver's book and read all about vanishing dates, arch nemeses, and regrettable hook ups. Elsewhere, they chat about the perils of reaching out to a teenage crush in adulthood, first hand celebrity gossip and how dirty clinkers make the perfect gift. 

In this Y2K extravaganza, Scott finally unearths his millennium time capsule containing a whole host of surprises from the year 2000 including a commemorative newspaper, a government advice leaflet about the looming Millennium bug, and goes back to where it all began with a diary from 1999. Lizzie and Scott chat NYE celebrations, what was hot and what was not, and noughties Page 3 girls.

In the hilarious season finale, Scott throws on a wig and becomes Cher on Halloween night, cringes at his headteacher's impressions and survives three or four things going wrong at a disastrous bonfire night party. Elsewhere, table talk turns to egg salt, Scott's harebrained money-making schemes and the root of his staunch principles. (This episode contains homophobic language and discussion of eating disorders that some listeners may find triggering or offensive)

In the October 2004 half term, Scott's pen runs low on ink, he uses his bike lock as a weapon, and the detail in the diary reaches a new low. Elsewhere, Lizzie and Scott chat films that haven't aged well, dangers of the internet, and try and figure out Mr. T's coffee order. 

Scott heads to the big smoke for a filming of Two Pints, goes ultimate red mist in a fight with a friend, and sees what the dictionary has to say about erections. Around the table, Lizzie and Scott chat McFly's best hits, using toast to protect rockets, and cinematic nip slips. TW: disordered eating.

Still reeling from the cyber attack, Scott witnesses a rabbit throwing, gets an extreme close-up of some pubic hair, and stumbles upon a throatless shark. With Lizzie, he discusses everyone's noughties McFly phase, what a bint is, and what exactly is at the centre of a Ferrero Rocher. 

Scott's left blindsided by a devastating cyber attack, heads off to Alton Towers on another school trip, and becomes a serial pen snapper. Around the table, Lizzie and Scott chat sanitary snooping, theme parks in a post-Covid world and customer service blunders.

Scott continues trundling through year 10 as he negotiates for a MiniDiscman, is tantalised by a pantsing, and puts his chickens on the washing line. With Lizzie, table talk turns to the rules of being fit at high school, Scott's disappointing drama GCSE result, and when Lizzie will finally get the boobs she dreamed of as a teenager.

Following the hiatus, RSD is back with a bang as Scott heads to the Blackpool Illuminations switch on, is warned about smelly test tubes, and takes a violent stance against a garden bashing. Elsewhere, Lizzie and Scott chat disgraced popstars, starting your period, and small boobs. 

It's Christmas! Scott and Lizzie take a look at Scott's bizarre collection of celebrity autographs, from Blue Peter presenters, the cast and crew of Two Pints, the incomparable Beverley Callard and many more. Lizzie also opens up another of her bonkers celebrity journals - in her crosshairs this time is everybody's favourite Jackass star Chris Pontius.

RSD is coming at you remotely for the first time as Scott continues his summer holidays. Back in 2004, Scott gets a new uniform in preparation for the start of year 10, enjoys a few hand-me-down baths, and the Griffin family’s obsession with eggs continues. Elsewhere, Scott and Lizzie chat heady festival toilet aromas, provocative performance art and legendary trapped wind.

As the summer holidays continue, Scott is mesmerised by the 2004 Athens Olympic Games, loses his bike the morning after a party, and does a whole lot of MSN blocking and egg eating. At the table, Lizzie and Scott discuss Lizzie's menstruation cycle, London 2012 and get to grips with dreaded bum beef.

As the summer holidays drone on, Scott becomes a webmaster, is kept awake by his dad's didge, and is troubled by punctuation shaped neck spots. Outside of the very detailed diary, Scott and Lizzie chat fish in parsley sauce scented deodorant, writing 'masturbate' in inappropriate places, and wanking off a pencil.

In the summer holidays between years 9 and 10, Scott pesters television writers, enjoys spoonfuls of cold baked beans and gets some culture as he enjoys Boogie Nights at the glitzy Grand Theatre. Around the table, Scott and Lizzie chat Blackpool's urine patches, a pre-MP3 world, and how best to do a Kinga with a wine bottle.

Scott gets sentimental as year 9 comes to an end, experiments with drink and drugs, and gets a nasty surprise in a service station toilet. In other news, Scott and Lizzie chat maggot infestations, home videos and accessing porn in the noughties. [This episode contains homophobic language that some listeners may find offensive]

With the summer holidays fast approaching, Scott gets in a fight to protect a spider's web, gets a new Walkman and sees incriminating texts on a friend's phone. Meanwhile, Scott and Lizzie chat homophobic bullying, figuring out your sexuality and the politest way to ask for a handjob. [This episode contains homophobic language that some listeners may find offensive]

Scott gets emotional in maths, discusses sexy leg tensing and destroys a teacher's belongings. Also, he drinks a LOT of milk. Outside of school, Scott begins writing to the cast of BBC sitcom Two Pints, exhibits shocking behaviour during a cinema screening of The Notebook, and Becki delivers her infamous Judas Kiss on Big Brother. Elsewhere, Scott and Lizzie chat Christmas Day porn and unfortunate school nicknames.

In the last few months of year 9, Scott triumphs at his poem recital, gets under the sheets with deceptive chickens and a great dane, and gets pumped watching Big Brother's infamous Fight Night. Meanwhile, Lizzie and Scott discuss dog eat dog bullying, negative body image and Scott’s top tip for seduction.

RSD is back with a bang as Scott and Lizzie open up the second diary and chat all about Scott's nemesis Miss Griffin, the lengths he'll go to to get a Pokemon sticker book, and his disastrous election campaign. Elsewhere, Scott and Lizzie wax lyrical about celebrity dongs, the ordeal of topping up old phones and pornographic wallpapers.

It's Lizzie's turn! Scott and Lizzie take a look at her diary from the summer of 2002, which quickly descends in to a totally bonkers tribute to Family Guy and Austin Powers star Seth Green...

In the stellar season finale of Reading Scott's Diary, Scott starts writing to celebrities, meets an ugly turkey and a streaker in school shocks everyone to the core. Around the table, Lizzie and Scott discuss more high school bullying, prom night, angry chefs and offensive Christmas songs.

This week, Scott underperforms in his maths exams, gets drunk on Champ and recalls a time when teachers were braless and boys had moulting pubic hair. Around the table, Scott and Lizzie discuss his millennium time capsule, aggressive playground games and their favourite public masturbators.

In this week’s episode, Scott gets excited about Heaventeen, receives a complaint from environmental health and enjoys sliding down syringe-covered hills. Meanwhile, Lizzie educates us all about Mr. Brain, discusses the height of Saturday night TV and enjoys some soothing ASMR.

It’s THE podcast with heart as Scott checks in to Habbo Hotel and collects Neopoints, performs condom demos for the class and accompanies one of his feathered friends to the vet. Around the table, Lizzie and Scott talk the early days of social media, their first profile pictures, and the worst brand name ever.

Still reeling from Mrs. Havisham's death, Scott makes a big change ensuring her legacy lives on. Meanwhile, his time as a paper boy comes to an end, he faces exclusion from school and his dad turns vigilante during a local crime spree. Around the table, Lizzie and Scott talk high school bullying, sexy sleepovers and the age old tradition of Soggy Biscuit.

Scott recounts the dying moments of Mrs. Havisham, the French language comes under scrutiny and a big change in the school canteen has kids gagging for the white stuff. Elsewhere, Scott and Lizzie discuss how babies are made, bizarre school punishments and the etiquette of female sexuality in high school.

Scott is the victim of a brutal attack on his paper round (no, really) and writes an angry letter to a disrespectful window cleaner. Meanwhile around the table, Lizzie and Scott discuss Anthea Turner's infamous wedding photos and the beauty of drawing corpses.

As Scott turns 14, he holds a VHS contest, takes a second job at a factory, gets a new mobile and does Hitler. Elsewhere, table talk with Lizzie turns to offal, dirty limericks and wasting water.

Starting with an explicit reading of some cyber, Scott and Lizzie revisit their favourite pastime of frequenting chatrooms and dressing up on webcam. Back to the diary, the school singing contest faces harsh criticism, Scott roleplays with Riley, and his paper round (almost) results in his untimely death.

Scott recalls his penchant for cyber sex and one-eared headphones while the month-long preparations for his upcoming birthday celebrations begin. Elsewhere, Scott and Lizzie’s table talk delves into New Year’s resolutions, the most prolific serial killers and Her Majesty's bust.