Refocused: Loving God, Loving People

We are such a distracted bunch, focused and centered on serving ourselves and our insatiable desires, but this is not why we are here. We are not just here to get degrees, make money, buy houses, start families and die. We are here on purpose by purpose, and most importantly this Earth is not our home. I'm sorry for the rough intro, but I really want my life to count for Christ. I want to be focused on things that do matter, things of eternal value, sharing the gospel, loving and serving humanity fully. Maybe you can join me on this never ending journey on refocusing on what truly matters, and maybe I can encourage you to do the same :) This is where our focus should have been all along and where it was designed to remain.

Can mothers truly have it all? On this episode co-hosted by the amazing Blessing Ibeafu and our incredible guest Irene Moyaba. We visited the young momma's club as promised and we are serving the tea piping hot! Love always, Kuku & Blessing

To all the ladies who feel like their ovaries are running out of time... hold your horses! In this extremely hilarious yet very educative episode. We unpacked a lot of controversies surrounding pregnancy and motherhood. Some of the questions that centered the conversation include :- -Is “snapback culture” purely motivated by vanity? -Is it just the young moms who get their bodies back after pregnancy? -Why are we so stressed about stretch marks, are they avoidable? -What happens with sex and intimacy post- partum? -Is it possible to maintain a healthy weight during pregnancy? On this episode co-hosted by the amazing Blessing Ibeafu and our incredible guest Uche Daubry. We visited the young momma's club as promised and we are serving the tea piping hot! Grab your pens and paper to jot down pregnancy cheat codes ha-ha We highly recommend this episode for everyone…ladies, men, expecting moms, moms, moms to be, expecting dads, dads, dads to be, and even those who have chosen to be child-free. Love always, Kuku & Blessing

Does anything really prepare you for the transformable journey of pregnancy to the destination of motherhood…apparently not! On this episode co-hosted by the amazing Blessing Ibeafu and our incredible guest Mmabatho Mphalele. We visited the young momma's club as promised and revealed many deep truths. This raw but extremely insightful episode lets us in on something deeper than the physical aspects of pregnancy and motherhood. The conversation was heavy on the emotional side, especially the connection with the child, and taking up a new identity as “mom” We highly recommend this episode for everyone…moms, moms to be, dads, dads to be and even those who have chosen to be child-free. Love always, Kuku & Blessing

I was away for over 2 months and life happened as usual, tune in to find out more, can't believe I cried ewwww! Love always, Your resilient host, Kuku.

Often times we attribute the action of saving lives to Doctors, but they are many others who may not be at the frontline but are steady saving lives. The Skin friend saved mine, when acne left me with a bruised self esteem and an impaired skin barrier, she swept in with her hydration cape and saved the day. If you're listening to this episode, I hope you reach out to her, I promise you she knows just exactly how to help. If you're listening to this podcast, you are two steps away from an amazing give away. Peju and I have teamed up to giveaway a free skincare consultation and free products for a basic and essential skincare routine. To enter, you need to be following @theeskinfriend and @kukumiriamafanga on Instagram and you need to repost this reel on your instasstory tagging us and telling us why you deserve to win. Entries close and the winner will be announced 25/06/21...May the odds be in your favor! Love always, Your acne samurai eventually had the last laugh!

On this weeks episode, we are joined with Edidiong Khloe Umoh “K-Baby”, a lawyer and enjoyment connoisseur. In this very long and very raw episode, we share our stories and the parts of our lives scarred by acne. To many of you, it's just a skin condition, to us it was so much more believe me. We were extremely vulnerable in this episode as we unpacked our insecurities, discussed our journey to finding beauty and self-worth amidst a broken skin barrier and a wounded self-worth. I love what Khloe always says “Acne may not contribute to your beauty, but it never takes away from it” This episode is one for the books, it's for those with or without acne, it will teach you how to see yourself again amidst your acne and it will teach others how to treat people with acne. Thank you once again Khloe for sharing your story, I'm forever thankful

Although a great deal of women struggle with acne, many men do so too, but we rarely hear their perspective. On today's episode we are joined with a good friend of mine, Olasubomi Abduakeeb shares his story on dealing with acne, the insecurities acne left him with and how he's been overcoming them. He also shared a few skincare tips lol, you'll have to listen to find out tho...this was a very fun and vulnerable episode. I hope you leave educated and enlightened, and if you're struggling with acne, I see you, it gets better I promise. Love always, Your fave acne samurai, Kuku

When you have textured and acne-prone skin, do you ever fit into a world where glass skin has become a trend... To begin the docu-series on “my acne, my story” we are joined with the Olotu Funke. Funke started battling with textured skin at the early age of 11. She shares how much what we would deem, a simple skin condition shaped her life and her story. That little girl has grown and blossomed into a popular brand story teller and body positivist. This was an exciting and enlightening episode. And to those who have never known what it is to struggle with acne, I hope you remember to count your blessings twice. Love you always, Your fellow acne samurai, Kuku

On the final episode of the #friendorfoe series and the very first time I'm putting out an uncut episode, we are joined with Boitumelo and Miriam Micheal, lol my name sake. We delved into some brow raising conversations. Like...

The subjective nature of the term “toxic” makes it difficult to define what is toxic and what is quite frankly just human. If no one is perfect, how then do we know what toxic is, do people even know they are in toxic friendships? The amazing Stephanie and Mmabatho touched on so many things that produce toxic effects even though they are done with the right heart, like “the mommy complex” “the messiah complex” we often want to save, fix and rescue lost causes and often find ourselves dragging dead weight! So why then do we stay? Have we been indirectly wired to stick it through? Are we the toxic friend? Are we being managed or managing others, instead of enjoying fruitful and long lasting friendships? I incredibly enjoyed this episode and I hope you do too. Love always, Kuku

In the first episode of the “Friend or Foe” series, we discuss on the topic “Normalizing friendship breakups” Usually when we discuss breakups it's often in the context of romantic relationships, but this very often happens in the context of friendships. Join Tinashe and Boitumelo as they talk about their friendship breakup experience and how that ultimately shaped their life and their friendships moving on! We also dabbled into rebound friendships, are they a thing? Can making a new friend heal the scar created by an old friend? Well you'll have to listen to hear more of this tea. They also give us tips on how to let go of dead weights in our friendships.This is an episode not to miss

Hello refocused hun, The concept of “Arranged marriages” is not new at all. It's part of a long standing tradition that has declined substantially during the 19th and 20th centuries. It is a super controversial topic loaded with many complex possibilities, pros & cons. On today's episode we are joined with Lerit Nifesi: a married Wellness & Style Blogger and Joy Otegbayo, popularly known as R-Jay “a relationship enthusiast” They shared their stance on the chosen topic and uncovered a lot of areas not usually spoken about. The recording session was educative and exciting indeed. Anyways thanks for coming to the end of the love series, feel free to go binge if you've been naughty, but if you've been nice settle down for an amazing conversation. Love always, Your very single host, Kuku

By now we all know that idolizing relationships are a thing, but have we also begun to idolize singleness, have we over glorified the wait? On this amazing yet impactful episode, I was joined by Sharon Mohie (Creative, Blogger & Podcaster: Unashamed and Unafraid, Sport enthusiast) & Sindi Mcata, the heart behind “Devoted with Sindi” as she beautifully put it. We discussed healing, hurt, self-sufficiency, stability prior to a relationship, feminism, societal roles and how our faith intersects it all. I hope it brings you a lot of clarity and direction regardless of the season you're in. Love always, Your very single host, Kuku

Hey Refocused family, I had so much fun recording this episode and I can only hope you enjoy it. Boitumelo and I shared on some reasons why people may still be single and what to take note of if you wanna get iced

It's the month of love and I'm sooo excited

Have you ever been with a religious person only to find out they actually not that religious. To identify as godly or religious is one thing however, to bear fruits worthy of this label is another. I mean no pressure and all, but where do we draw the line between expecting better from someone cause they are religious but also giving them room to fail because they are human? We talked about so much on this episode and I hope we can all learn a thing or two from it.

Over the last few days, young Nigerians all over the country have come out to peacefully protest in the thousands, demanding an end to police brutality and the disbandment of the “Special Anti Robbery Squad”. On Sunday, The 11th of October 2020 the current DG of police released a statement claiming they were disbanding/dissolving SARS as a unit. First, this is nothing new. In 2015, 2017, 2018, and 2019, the same proclamations and declarations were made and nothing changed. These officials remained on the road; raping, beating, kidnapping and stealing from young Nigerians. Second, there is to be no reckoning according to the plans this administration has. All former SARS officials will be redeployed to other existing departments. That is a gross insult to the very many Nigerians who have died at the hands of these criminals. We demand a public inquiry, investigation and hearing into every death, and every act of brutality. If the police cannot hold itself to account, it does not deserve public trust and funding. Thirdly, PEACEFUL Protesters across the country have been brutalised by the police; arrested, tear gassed, sprayed with water cannons, beaten and over 10 young Nigerians have lost their lives. Our protest has both been peaceful and respectful and well within our constitutional rights. We are not criminals. We are not area boys. We are not hooligans. We are Nigerians who are FED UP and have decided we will do something about it. We inherited a broken system from you, but we want better for the generation after us. Young people know that SARS is rotten fruit of a diseased tree. We want restitution, changes in recruitment and reform. We want investigations into crimes committed by police officials. We also want a psychological evaluation & retraining (by an independent body) of all disbanded SARS officers before they are redeployed. We want an increase in police officers salaries so that they are adequately compensated for protecting lives and properties of citizens. Ways to help:- Educate yourself, Raise awareness & Donate. https://donatebtc.feministcoalition2020.com/

What do we do with those who seem to be “super spiritual?” The ones who seem to pray more, praise louder, get more excited about God than we do? We all know people who even in a five-minute conversation will start giving us their favorite Bible verse or be quick to share a testimony of what they feel God just did or showed them in their lives. What kind of feelings do they arouse in you? Do they freak you out just a little bit? Or, perhaps, on the other hand, does a bit of jealousy emerge? Do you muse, “I wish I knew God like that?” More often, I have found that for most people it's the former, rather than the later. What should our response be as Christians? If the so-called “super spiritual” people tend to annoy you, check your own heart! Repent and revive your passion for God! Source: The Christian Post

Feminism: One war, Different battles! On today's episode, Aleks (Slovenian), Randa (Lebanese), expose the inequalities present in their societies. To understand the movement better, it's important you realise that the fight for the equal rights of women transcends geographical location, ethnicity and race. Hence today's episode will enlighten you and expose you to the reality of a woman across different spheres of life in Africa, Middle East and Europe. Love always, Refocused

The plot thickens y'all.... Anyways today marks the end of the great debate, shoutout to our amazing panelists who aired their views amicably. In today's episode we realized the biggest issue is not in the “reason” behind the movement, but in the “label”. Were the feminists able to win a panelist to their team, well you'll have to listen to find out more. Love always, Kuku

“Feminism” has become a very controversial movement and it's time we start to educate ourselves right. This project is aimed at shedding light on what the movement is really about, areas where the definition/reason behind the movement has been construed, and why the movement is considered important or not so important to many. Love always, Kuku!

Welcome the the seventh session of the 7-day guided meditation challenge. I pray God gives you the stillness Ed's you desire!

Welcome to the sixth day of the 7-day guided meditation challenge. I pray God gives you the stillness you deserve!

Welcome to the fifth day of the 7-day guided meditation session, I pray God gives you the stillness you deserve.

Welcome to the fourth session of the 7-day guided meditation challenge. I pray God gives you the stillness you desire.

Welcome to the third day of the 7-day guided meditation challenge. May God give you the stillness you deserve

Welcome to the second session of the 7-day guided meditation challenge, I pray God gives you the stillness you desire.

Welcome to the first day of the 7-day guided meditation challenge. I pray this brings you the stillness you desire, Love always x

Meet the Carvahlos's!!! #Part 2 Last week we ended the conversation talking about culture shock, Shaun told us on how he had been gifted with a moisturiser from a very loving friend and Kgomi couldn't understand why her mother-in-law didn't have hand lotion “handy”

Meet the Carvahlos's!!! #Part 1 On today's episode on getting married young, we are joined with Kgomi married at 22 and Shaun married at 25. They have been married for 2 years and 5 months. Today they share their rich and impactful experience with us on this controversial topic. They nailed so many questions and honestly I'll recommend listening with a pen and paper, from:- -Meeting the ONE! -Did they rush things? -Money talks, pre-marriage, bride price, wedding hacks and dealing with money in marriage. -Their take on pre-marital counselling -Culture shock in an interracial marriages Y'all had so many questions, it was sooo long we had to make room for a second episode. So don't forget to grab a glass of wine or popcorn and anticipate part 2

I've not laughed this hard during a segment in a very long time, I learned so much too. Getting married young is quite a controversy in the 21st century, while some desire it cause they think it's trendy, others are more concerned with building themselves completely before taking in someone else. Tola (23) & Yomi (33) have been married for about 4 months now, Tola describes the experience as a “learning curve”, while Yomi describes it as getting to know each other deeper. Join them in this amazing episode to discover everything from first dates, to meeting the parents, to mental preparation, to altering their plans to accommodate each other . Most importantly find out how they “mend the unmendables” -(Yomi, 2020) Love always, Refocused

So we have come to the episode finale of patriarchy unmasked, it was indeed a pleasure to be in the man cave with my amazing friends. I'm this episode we discussed:-

The statement “ Be a man” has had one of the most powerful yet toxic influence on men. What does that even mean? In this amazing episode, we address the loss of identity commonly seen in men. Do they know who they really are, or has the society dictated a man's identity? So therefore, what is a man is supposed to look like, sound like, dress like, act like etc. My amazing friends brought so much heat and insight to this podcast. Remember you were human before you were a man, I hope after this you realise what being a man truly is... Love always, Kuku

The fact that the society puts an immense pressure on men to be financially stable is not new to any one of us. So how does this make them feel? How does it feel to bear the pressure of providing? Is the term providing defined by the zeros in his bank account? How do they handle being tasked with the job of providing financial security? When all is said and done, does money really matter? How does this impact the self- esteem of men especially? How do they cope with this burden they didn't choose? Did we digress ofcourse lol, but is there any good conversation without offramps I loved every moment shared with my friends, thanks Abang, Julius and Hlonee. You guys are amazing :) Welcome to the man cave x Love always, Kuku.

Welcome to the new series titled “Conversations with Kuku”. On this first episode, we speak about the dynamics in a heterosexual friendship, and if strings are really attached? We tackle issues from why a heterosexual friendship is important, how feelings start developing in such friendships, if catching feelings for a friend is totally normal, if the relationship dynamic changes once feelings starts to surface and many more. Trust us not to leave you hanging

The daddy issues series started as a result of discovering that we all have “daddy issues“. This is because nobody's earthly father is God, hence nobody's father was or is perfect. We all have “daddy issues” to some degree. All good and emotional things come to an end, this episode marks the end of the “Daddy issues” series, and join us as we unpack how to trade all our daddy issues for a father fix. In this episode you'll discover what a father fix is and why it's important that we all have a father fix. It all boils down to identifying our daddy issues, forgiveness, reconciliation and love cause love truly conquers all. I'm super thankful for our guest who shared his transition from “daddy issues” to a “father fix” in such a relatable and transparent manner. I hope all you learned in this series is put into practice. Love always, Kuku!

Growing up with both parents is a luxury we often take for granted. Our amazing guest speaker takes the lead in this deeply moving episode. Her mother did an amazing job at parenting, and although her dad was absent, this was never a major concern to her until she met him. Now we expect a fairy tale twist, but things took a more painful turn, after they met. In this episode, she opens up about how this affected her life in every single aspect, from the deep psychological wounds to her choice in romantic partners. “No one should ever beg for scraps, No one should ever settle for the bare minimum and most importantly, No one should ever wonder why they father chose everything but them” This story doesn't end all sour as in the end hope is found, and where there is hope there is much healing! Love always, Refocused x Irene Moyaba

Death is one of the most difficult things to come to terms with, especially when you're dealing with the loss of someone who was so closely knitted to you. I'm deeply grateful to Abang and Rere who joined me in this deeply emotional segment as they share about their fathers who left too early. Not only do they share their fondest and most precious memories with their dads, they also come clean about how they dealt with this deeply consuming grief. Now we understand that time doesn't necessarily all wounds! To all those in quarantine in the company of their parents and loved ones, I'm happy you're surrounded by great company. To all those alone, please stay strong, I love you. And to all those reminiscing the loss of their loved ones, I hope this message sends you hope and healing, I assure you things will definitely get better. And finally if your parents and loved ones are still alive, but the relationship is fractured and maybe even broken irreparably, I don't know what happened but I think its safe to say that this may be time to let forgiveness and reconciliation lead! Practice social distancing and stay safe, Love always, Abang x Rere

On today's episode of finding healing and redefining your identity. Elizabeth and I shared very practical steps in order to find healing after rape/sexual abuse. What made her discover that she was being raped so late in life? We then proceeded to tackle issues centred around raising awareness and educating children at early life stages. We tackled other questions like:- How rape/sexual abuse affect your relationship? Why do rape victims stay silent? Why speaking up is so powerful? Hence, we also shed light on the importance and power of speaking up, as well as conquering guilt, shame and fear and practical steps in finding healing and redefining your identity. Love always, Refocused

On today's episode of Daddy issues, we are joined with an amazing guest, who shares her story on being abused by a father figure in her life. She is real, transparent and candid with the psychological scars it left on her, but not only does she share her vulnerability with us, she also shares her newly found hope, opening up about how she conquered and is still in the process of overcoming her bruised past. Sexual abuse is a monster we all have to collectively fight, we digressed into feminism, rape culture, consent, upbringing, the me-too movement and all other areas that intertwine. I hope this message lightens the faint-hearted and uplifts the overwhelmed. Love always, Refocused

In today's episode we tackled the general question often asked in relationships, “how does one achieve a healthy compromise” if at all compromise can ever be healthy. Also we addressed if one must always lower their standards in order to achieve a healthy compromise! And we finally deconstructed the difference between tolerance and compromise. I hope you enjoyed the segment as much we enjoyed recording it. Love always, Kuku

What are you bringing to the table???Last week we spoke about the ideal qualities we ladies love to see in a man. This week's episode is a hard to swallow pill for us ladies, as often times we desire people's sons to measure up to a standard that we fail to live up to! How can we be better? How can we end the double standards we've created? No! we are not perfect, neither are we trying to be. However it's okay to be a master piece, and still a work in progress. So let this message not only alert you on the short comings in your behaviour and attitudes, but inspire you to become a better version of yourself, firstly for yourself and then for the man you deserve. Love always, Kuku

Join I and Stephanie in this educative episode, that will assist you in your choice for an ideal partner. What is an ideal man? What are the top qualities we look for in a partner? Why do our “types on paper” and our “types in reality” often lack correlation? Why do we settle for the men we choose? When all is said and done, what really matters in choosing an ideal man... Love always, Your amazing host Kuku!

Shooting your shot has become a real trend nowadays, however what are the common misconceptions around this topic? Why should you shoot your shot and why should you absolutely not try it. Well I'll be sharing my personal experience as well as lessons I learned and common misconceptions about the art of shot shooting

The new year resolution culture is not new to any one, we all get hyped and aim to achieve set goals for the new year, but how well do we do in reaching our targets? Join Boitumelo Mocheko and I as we go through the year, regularly reviewing our goals every month. This may be the fool proof accountability system you never thought you needed in order to achieve your goals. Love always, Refocused x

In this episode, we are joined with one of the most amazing people I've ever met, Boitumelo Mocheko. We deconstruct the societal standards of beauty, and encourage you to establish unique and healthy standards. We are transparent with what we struggle with and how we conquer certain insecurities. How insecurities impact a relationship is also discussed, with tips on how to better your relationship and uplift each other. Please pardon the quality, love always xx

This segment highlights the differences between the lack/scarcity mindset and the abundance mindset, it explains the importance of perspective and focus and empowers listeners with steps on how to view a life filled with scarcity and lack in an abundant manner. I hope you enjoy xx

This is a brief introduction of what this podcast is about and what to expect from it. Today I shared lessons I learned last week on what's worth holding on to, what's not worth holding on to “ and the courage to know the difference. I also remember I didn't get to say what I heard from the pastor, lmao he said “self control is not the ability to control one self, but the opportunity to choose who will control you” So what are you holding on to so tightly, and what have you awarded the power and authority to control you ?