Sexual Craftsmanship

There are many assumptions made in the realm of sex and relationships - I'm talking the idea of "common sense" or advice that just "feels true" when you hear it. We're all susceptible to familiar things seeming "right."One such truism is the idea that playing hard to get will help you in dating and sex. So, will it? On today's episode, we'll cover:Dispelling the myth that playing hard to get is something only women doLook at the downstream effects of playing hard to get in your relationshipsCover a number of questions to ask yourself when deciding whether to play hard to getSome alternatives, if you decide playing hard to get isn't for youThe audio for today's podcast was taken from a recent YouTube Livestream. Everyday in January, I'm going live looking at a trope or truism and applying some critical thinking. The aim is to bust myths, drop some counter-intuitive knowledge, and spend the first month of the year equipping you to have your best ever sex and relationship life in 2021.Want to check out the videos? That brings us to another important announcement! The Sexual Craftsmanship podcast is now brought to you by DignifiedHedonist.com, the new home for the podcast and all of my work. Check it out! And, that means our name on YouTube has changed - you can find the series of myth-busting counter-intuition by searching for Dignified Hedonist.Worried you might be making mistakes when it comes to sex and relationships? I got you. Sign up to get a regular dose of unconventional, counter-intuitive sex and relationship advice: https://dignifiedhedonist.com/counter-intuitive/If you want to get involved with the podcast community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to our subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanshipCurious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.com Connect with us online! Website: https://dignifiedhedonist.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lg Support the Podcast, Become a Member: https://dignifiedhedonist.com/the-essentials

With pleasure, we're bringing you something special for the last episode of 2020.As with every Her Side interview, this episode features the experience of a woman who dates men in STEM. This is your opportunity to catch a glimpse from the other side. What resonates with you? What can you take from this story to apply in your own life?Unlike other Her Side episodes, you likely know something about today's guest. With the help of special guest host Kincaid McMinn, we'll meet the host of the Sexual Craftsmanship podcast, Sarah Martin. Sarah is a 35 year old woman who has a wide variety of experiences when it comes to dating, sex, and relationships. Getting real, Sarah shares about her struggles, especially as a young person who experienced bullying for many years. She explains how it is that she became the initiator in most of her relationships and what, exactly, it is that she loves about men in STEM. Sarah offers insight into just what becomes possible when you are willing to break the mold and focus on communication as THE skill in getting to experience the sex you want in life.Sarah ends with her New Years message for listeners of the podcast. Thank you for spending some of your 2020 with us here. Wishing you a 2021 filled with pleasure and joy!Special thanks to Certified Sex Coach Kincaid McMinn for being such a fucking awesome guest host. You can learn more about Kincaid on Facebook and Instagram @RoyalLoveCoach or at https://www.royallovecoach.comIf you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin

To be frank, communication can be really challenging between people with different neurotypes and nowhere is that more true than within the intimate sphere of dating, sex, and relationships.Recently, I was invited to speak to the wonderful women at Village Virago to answer their questions about relationships with men on the spectrum. I am so thrilled to share this conversation with you today.Together with Certified Sex Coach AJ Locashio, we explore topics like:The differentiating between narcissism and a genuine lack of understandingHow to communicate about feelings with an autistic partnerThe importance explicit communicationThe intersection of gender and neurotype and how this can impact communicationCommon frustrations experienced by autistic partners in relationship with neurotypical peopleYou can learn more about AJ by visiting her website (https://mamapistachio.com) and her Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/themamapistachio). And, you can find Village Virago at bit.ly/villagevirago If you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin

The world as we know it right now is experiencing a boom in information. For men who struggle with sex and relationships, there is no shortage of people and philosophies offering solutions to that problem.But, as with all things, not all support is created equal. On this topic, there's no one quite like Dave Booda to share about the journey through many different approaches to sex and relationships as a man living in today's world.In today's episode, we cover:Pickup Artists, both the positives and negatives of this communityNeo Tantra, and how similar it is to PUA, once you scratch beneath the surfaceMen's Rights Activists, and how they're surprisingly similar to feminists in some waysThe challenges to creating big changes in the way the world approaches sex and relationshipsThe importance of creating alternatives that are objectively better than the bullshit if we want anything to changeTremendous thanks to Dave Booda for popping in to the Sexual Craftsmanship podcast! Dave Booda is a writer, musician and social entrepreneur. He’s the co-founder of IntimacyFest and has led 250+ workshops in the San Diego area on connection, touch and relationships. He has published over 200 essays for boodaism.com, and has been published in countless major online publications. If you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin

There's a world of difference between theory and practice. Recently, I shared the Dignified Hedonist framework for the first time, and people had questions.It's one thing to do an assessment. It's another thing to integrate this practice into your life. Listen to hear questions asked by others just like you about how a Dignified Hedonist could approach several real life situations.Today, you'll discover:If Asking Audaciously is really just a numbers gameIf dating is worth it when you run the risk of hurting someoneOn the red, yellow, green color scale, is red positive and green negativeWhat to do if you feel too dominant in your relationshipHow being led by desire empowers others to do the sameSo, what do you think? Would you like to see Q&A episodes become a regular feature on the podcast? Let me know over in the Sexual Craftsmanship: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Also, I'm planning a watch party / body language primer in the next couples of days - would you like to join? Reddit is the place to let me know, too!Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin

As the month draws to a close, it's time for the next episode of a recurring feature of the Sexual Craftsmanship podcast: Her Side interviews!Each Her Side interview features the experience of a woman who dates men in STEM. This is your opportunity to catch a glimpse from the other side. What resonates with you? What can you take from this story to apply in your own life?In this episode, we'll meet Mari, a 32-year-old woman from Finland who identifies as a huge nerd. She shares about the importance of communication to the experience of dating, sex, and relationships, and sings the praises of asking folks out by email.Mari shares the often overlooked perspective on what dating, sex, and relationships can be like for nerdy women. Often, the assumption made is that nerdier people are men, and so the struggle of nerds in the relationship space is a male struggle. In Mari's story, there's the opportunity to consider that perhaps these struggles are less to do with gender, and more to do with dominant modes of communication and norms in society around dating, sex, and relationships that aren't as compatible with nerdier people's preferences and desires.This is an excerpt from my extended interview with Mari. If you're curious to hear more, head over to Patreon - the extended and only roughly cut and edited Her Side interviews are available to Patrons only.If you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin

On this International Men's Day, it's shocking how much men's dating, sex, and relationship advice is stuck in the stone age, regurgitating the same tactics that keep men stuck. The worst thing about this type of advice, the kind structured by rigid interpretations of gender roles and peppered with evolutionary psychobabble, is that it keeps men separated from deep pleasure and connection.It's not the only way. Far from it. What's more, an approach to sex and relationships that combines dignity and hedonism isn't just an alternative - it's better and more efficient.On November 17th, 2020, I gave a masterclass called The Secrets of Quiet Seduction, where I outlined the Dignified Hedonist approach to sex and relationships. This episode contains an excerpt from that masterclass.In this episode, you'll learn:The 3 pillars of Dignified HedonismThe 9 step strategy to bring Dignified Hedonism into your lifeA self-assessment, so that you can get an accurate picture of your current strengths and areas to focus on for developmentIf this episode has piqued your interest, you can watch the replay of the masterclass here: https://sexualcraftsmanship.com/dignified-hedonist/Enrollment in the Dignified Hedonist sex coaching membership for nerds, geeks, and introverts is now open, so if you want to take this work further, that is one way to do so.If you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin

Before going any further, yes, Kant was problematic in some respects. And, yes, he was very much an eccentric. He himself isn’t the secret or any sort of model for how to be an amazing lover.Instead, what Kant gives us in his moral philosophy is the essence of dignity in a really easy to understand way. And, if you wrap your mind around it, it is the single most powerful thing you can learn for your sex and relationship life.In this episode, we'll cover:The types of sex and relationship concerns this secret can help you addressThe two types of motivation to engage in sex and relationships, and which one is the antidote to anxiety and overthinkingHow to assess the motivation you have in approaching sex and relationshipsHow non-attachment to any specific outcome can set you freeYou can catch the replay of The Secrets of Quiet Seduction masterclass, which took place on November 17th, here: https://sexualcraftsmanship.com/dignified-hedonist/If you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin

A listener wrote in with a fantastic question about open relationships:"I'd like to hear about long term relationships that also have open sexual relationships with others. My long term partner and I have been flirting with this idea but there are so many people who say it's a bad idea and a sign the relationship is ending..."Who better to help answer this question than Damien Diecke, head coach at School of Attraction. Damien  is a life, business, and dating coach.  He's been a guest speaker at live events in 18 different countries and is endlessly fascinated by human behavior. In addition to helping clients navigate open relationships, Damien is also in an open relationship.Together, we explore:Different types of open relationshipsWhat you need to consider before opening an existing relationshipThe highs and lows of open relatingThe importance of self-care and communication skills in open relationshipsTechniques to use to discover if open relationships are for youOn today's episode, we speak a little about transactional analysis. You can get a general overview on Wikipedia here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transactional_analysisYou can catch the replay of The Secrets of Quiet Seduction masterclass, which took place on November 17th, here: https://sexualcraftsmanship.com/dignified-hedonist/If you enjoyed getting to know Damien, be sure to check out his work at School of Attraction. Today, November 5th, you can catch a special episode featuring me on the School of Attraction podcast all about Dark Sexuality!Here's where you can hear more from School of Attraction:Podcast: https://www.buzzsprout.com/288898YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaZJ1Cw-GTdVQs6UUBER-eAWebsite: https://schoolofattraction.com/If you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin 

We've reached the end of another month, and you know what that means! It's time for the next episode of a recurring feature of the Sexual Craftsmanship podcast: Her Side interviews!Each Her Side interview features the experience of a woman who dates men in STEM. This is your opportunity to catch a glimpse from the other side. What resonates with you? What can you take from this story to apply in your own life?In this episode, we'll meet Polina, who grew up in Russia before moving to Western Europe. She shares with us about her journey through cultures and how dynamic sex and relationship values and beliefs can be. She started out totally uninterested in science guys, thanks in large part to associating men in STEM with her brother's friends, to discovering in her 20s and 30s that science peeps make fantastic partners. Polina reminds us that one of the best things we can do is to drop the generalities and stereotypes about men and women, and instead see individuals for who they are in their own right.This is an excerpt from my extended interview with Polina. If you're curious to hear more, head over to Patreon - the extended and only roughly cut and edited Her Side interviews are available to Patrons only.If you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin

Figuring out who you are as a sexual person is process - your sexuality is dynamic, and everyone seems to have an opinion about what you should do and what your sexuality should be like. You receive messages from family, friends, and your society at large.Men should do this. Women should do that. Should. Should. Should.The murkiness of "should sexuality" is evident when it comes to discussions of consent and the discomfort that can accompany them. But, what if consent wasn't a means to the end of having sex, but instead was an end in itself. Consent at its best is a practice that you live out as an expression of your sexual autonomy.In today's episode, we're joined by Shaun Miller. Shaun is an independent scholar focusing on the philosophy of love and sex which includes sexual ethics, intimate interactions, and reforming gendered expectations. Among other things, he's taken deep dives into models of consent and positive masculinity.Together, we explore:What, exactly, a philosopher is doing when they study sex anywayHow consent and sexual autonomy are linkedDifferent models of consent, and which is most powerful and practicalPositive masculinity and its connection with sexual autonomyThe best place to start integrating sexual autonomy in your sex and relationship life starting nowThanks to Shaun Miller for joining us on the Sexual Craftsmanship podcast. Shaun was born and raised in Utah and went to earn his PhD in philosophy. He currently resides in Washington DC. Shaun’s research interests currently include BDSM, sexual consent, positive male sexuality, and investigating how sex robots could change our intimate lives.You can learn more about Shaun by visiting his website: https://shaunmiller.blog/If you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin 

Body language is as rich and nuanced as any spoken language. You are always talking with your body, even when you're not conscious of it. Everyone else? They're always talking with their bodies, too. Learning the basics of body language will serve you throughout your life, and in the arena of sex and relationships in particular.It takes time to get fluent in body language, and it's hard to know where to start. The internet is full of deep, dark body language rabbit holes - if you go looking, you'll find endless tutorials, tips, and tricks that all promise to crack the code and make you irresistible.What you'll learn on the podcast today boils body language down to some essential elements and will give you the power to discern between other advice - what's useful, and what's a bunch of bullsh*t.Today, you'll learn:The two principles underpinning all body languageThe four basic dimensions of body languageHow these dimensions layer together to send different messagesThe very simple way to flirt using body languageAlso, last week I was LIVE with the Wilzig Erotic Art Museum (WEAM) talking all about pickup artists. You can catch the replay at the WEAM Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/WilzigEroticArtMuseumIf you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin

We have all sorts of weird messaging in society around touch, in part because touch is often framed as inherently sexual. In reality, touch is as inherently sexual as English - you can say some extremely erotic things with touch, sure, but you can also make small talk and have heartfelt conversations.In today's episode, we'll cover:* Where people consistently go wrong with touch and why* Environmental and social factors that influence touch communication* The 5 Main Messages you can send with touch* Concrete, simple actions you can take to improve your touch fluency immediatelyIf you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin

Emotional vulnerability is a polarizing topic. And that's because, like all polarizing topics, it sits on top of a tension. On the one hand, all humans have emotions. We want to be fully ourselves, and that includes our emotions. On the other hand, we’ve all been told what we *should* do when it comes to emotions, and this is doubly so for men. In short, men want to be able to express their emotions in relationships, and also receive the message that to do so makes them seem weak.Fear not, though. When you are able to ditch the cheap, off-brand version many of us call emotional vulnerability in favor of the real deal, a whole world of opportunities awaits. Oh, and the real deal? It's sexy AF.In this episode, we'll cover:What emotional vulnerability isCommon mistakes people makeWhat you can do instead to enjoy truly emotionally vulnerable relationships... and be sexy AFIf you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin

It's that time again! Here's the next episode of a recurring feature of the Sexual Craftsmanship podcast: Her Side interviews!Each Her Side interview features the experience of a woman who dates men in STEM. This is your opportunity to catch a glimpse from the other side. What resonates with you? What can you take from this story to apply in your own life?In this episode, we'll meet Ieva, who has an affinity for, and an attraction to, hardcore Linux users. She shares with us her frustrations and triumphs with online dating and her view on what makes someone attractive that they might not even be aware of. Ieva reminds us of the power of focusing on our common humanity, rather than separating from each other along gendered lines. This is an excerpt from my extended interview with Ieva. If you're curious to hear more, head over to Patreon - the extended and only roughly cut and edited Her Side interviews are available to Patrons only.If you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin

It is entirely possible to resolve death grip without needing to give up masturbation or porn, and to do so coming from a place of sexual empowerment that prioritizes your pleasure.In this episode, we'll cover:The prevalence of sex-negative advice related to death gripThe origins of our negative attitudes toward masturbationHow masturbation is the pathway out of death grip, rather than the problemThe 6 step approach to resolving death gripOne trick you can use when it comes to porn's role in death gripIf you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin

It's true - without conscious attention paid to stoking desire, desire will wane in longer relationships. So many people move through life feeling a frustrated nostalgia for the early days of effortless passion with their partner. Others wonder if something is wrong with them because they normally don't stay in relationships for longer than 6 months.Here's the thing - there's nothing magical or mysterious at work. Rather, excitement fading in a longer relationship is a consequence of biology and neurochemistry. All is not lost. It's actually relatively simple to nurture your horniness and yearning for your partner indefinitely, if that is what you wish to do.In this episode we cover:Why, exactly, it is that desire wanes in otherwise wonderful relationships overtimeThe two things desire and eroticism need to survive and thrive in longer relationshipsHow to break the cycle of relationship churn, if you're stuck in it5 unconventional tips to make sex exciting againIf you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin

The sad reality is that no one can read your mind. Everyone has different types of fear around asking for what they want. Your fears didn’t come from nowhere - they have biological, social, and cultural origins.What's more, these fears are part of larger structures that RELY on you remaining afraid of acting on your desires.Therefore, asking for what you want is a revolutionary act.In this episode, we cover:What gets in the way of asking for what you wantAsk vs Guess culture and how this affects youThe AAA Approach that supports you in asking for what you wantThe ABC Method to use when structuring an askExample scripts, including Dutch Pandemic Sex BuddiesToday's episode comes directly to you from a class I taught for the Sexual Craftsmanship community. The community has moved from Facebook to Reddit.If you like what you heard, come join us!If you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin 

Guys, I am so excited to bring you the next episode of a recurring feature of the Sexual Craftsmanship podcast: Her Side interviews!Each Her Side interview features the experience of a woman who dates men in STEM. This is your opportunity to catch a glimpse from the other side. What resonates with you? What can you take from this story to apply in your own life?In this episode, we'll meet Marta, who has a lifetime's experience dating men in STEM (well, apart from that first boyfriend when she was 14, who she only dated for a week). She met her husband in high school, though they didn't get married until many years later. Marta shares some powerful insights into sex and pleasure and why listening skills are so important. This is an excerpt from my extended interview with Marta. If you're curious to hear more, head over to Patreon - the extended and only roughly cut and edited Her Side interviews are available to Patrons only.If you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin

The most common way relationships of all types don’t work out is through a mismatch of desires. This is true for all relationships: from one night stands through friends with benefits and short term dating to long marriages.The place to begin is with defining your own desires for relationships in concrete terms.Today we cover:Ways to tell if mismatched desires are present in your relationshipsThe 3 Levels of any relationshipQuestions to ask yourself to define your desires at each of these 3 levelsOne handy trick you can use to stay in touch with your desiresIf you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin

Dirty Talk is one of those things that a lot of people like the idea of, and yet aren't sure how to do it. Where do you even begin? Won't it be awkward? What if I say something that offends my partner?In today's episode, we nail down the basic of dirty talk to help you get started. It's simple, and it's fun!Together we cover:What NOT to doHow to have a conversation about dirty talk with your partnerFour solid approaches you can use to start dirty talking NOW, including examplesIf you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin

There's nothing inherently harmful in taking a masturbation vacation. Where you need to be careful is in your intentions. Not masturbating won't hurt you, but feeling coerced or acting from a place of sexual shame definitely is.Today, we cover:What is NoFap?The history of similar practices throughout time, paying some particular attention to sexual mores during the Victorian eraReasons why people choose NoFapThings to consider in deciding if NoFap is right for youIf you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin

Exciting times, Craftsmen! Welcome to a NEW recurring feature of the Sexual Craftsmanship podcast: Her Side interviews.Each Her Side interview features the experience of a woman who dates men in STEM. This is your opportunity to catch a glimpse from the other side. What resonates with you? What can you take from this story to apply in your own life?In this episode, we'll meet Maple, who met her current partner at a maths conference, and learn more about the amazing, and not so amazing, parts of sex and relationship life shared with a nerdy guy. This is an excerpt from my extended interview with Maple. If you're curious to hear more, head over to Patreon - the extended and only roughly cut and edited Her Side interviews are available to Patrons only.If you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin

There's no denying it: seeing someone who is hungry for you, who desires you as a sexual being, carries a unique and potent erotic charge. It's totally human to want to feel wanted. The big issue is the way most of us go about trying to feel desired is temporary at best, and actively damaging at worst.Today, we cover:The four negative side effects of chasing after being desiredThe two questions you need to ask yourself to start feeling sexy AFWhat you can start doing every day to become powerfully desirableIf you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin

I feel like shouting from the mountain tops: rejection is awesome! And, it's not rejection itself that sucks, but our fear of rejection. I mention two studies: first, that the pain social rejection causes is real (Kross, E. et. al., 2011) and that we feed our fear of rejection by making rejection mean something about us (Blackhart, G. et. al., 2014).From there, we dive into:The 5 reasons rejection is wonderful and something to welcome into your life6 ways you can become more comfortable with rejection starting NOWIf you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin

We start off celebrating - this is the inaugural episode of Sexual Craftsmanship and I'm just bursting with excitement!We quickly get down to brass tacks and cover:A working definition of desire for the purposes of Sexual CraftsmanshipWhy it mattersThree ways you can start becoming aware of your desireThe Reduction Technique: a method you can use when you're really clear on what you don't want... but less clear on what you do wantIf you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin

First, you'll hear from several different men as they speak aloud the challenges that they face in dating, sex, and relationships. Does any of this sound familiar? If yes, you're in the right place! Then, Sarah Martin will introduce the podcast and why it's been created. You'll also hear from three of Sarah's clients about the results they've experienced. The episode closes with a mission statement and a call to arms: to celebrate your sexuality and move forward toward sexual confidence and ease.If you want to get involved with the Sexual Craftsmanship community and have input into upcoming episodes, head over to the Sexual Craftsmanship subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/SexualCraftsmanship/Curious what it’s like to learn with me? Check out my FREE course on How to Avoid the Friendzone for Good. Go to: avoidthefriendzone.comConnect with Sexual Craftsmanship online! Website: https://sexualcraftsmanship.comYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0o8MkhxcIwoSyTeM3AQ7lgSupport the podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SarahMartin