Podcasts about international men

Jerome Teelucksingh is one of the leading men's rights activists. He is a senior lecturer at The University of the West Indies in Trinidad & Tobago (in the Caribbean). Jerome has published articles and spoken at academic conferences on masculinity, fatherhood and gender relations.  In 1999, he initiated International Men's Day on 19 November in Trinidad and Tobago. Also, he would later begin the observance of World Day of the Boy Child on 16 May and The International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Men and Boys on 31 January. In 2022.Jerome's e-mail: j_teelucksingh@yahoo.comSupport the show

It's International Women's day on Saturday - and before you ask, 19th November is International Men's Day - it's also Women in Construction Week this week. Tradeswomen play a vital role in making the trade what they are so today we are celebrating everything they do. We're asking if there are enough women within the trade? We want to know what we can do to encourage more women onto site? And we're asking you if there are any misconceptions around women in the trade or even the trade itself that might be hampering more women getting involved! We were joined by some fantastic women in the industry Emily, Deb and Freya to hear why they love the trade- plus you can also play the pub lunch quiz for your chance to grab yourself 6 points and you'll hear the very best messages that we received - enjoy!

this week we get back after it, fly tying classes are coming up at the fly shop, birthdays are coming and we got some cold weather. stay warm and tie some flies, listen to us and have a good time!

In this podcast I deal with a real life case study of a man going through the trauma of a family separation... break up... life re-structuring. As I was walking out of the International Men's Day breakfast where we had just been talking about men's lives and mental well being in this current era, I ran straight into a guy I knew who is going through it right now. Listen to his story and what I talked to him about..and how it might relate to you. Key points: Men and money in today's world men as a provider following dreams vs providing for the family structuring decision making in your family to maintain mental health and well-being The Value of a Family Finance Board meeting .. and more I share lessons and insights that I have learnt and mentors I am listening to help me navigate through these issues. Let me know what you get from this podcast.

Here are lessons from my experience at a MensTalk breakfast on International Mens Day. What happens when you get 100 or more men in a room on International Mens Health Day? In this podcast we cover these topics and more: Men Mateship Mental Health Role Models Mindfulness Connection Social Well-Being Self Leadership Leading Others Servant Leadership - Leading Others

International Men's Day, observed every November 19th, is a time to celebrate the contributions men make to society and shine a light on the unique challenges they face. In this episode, we dive into real-talk about everything from masculinity and mental health to fitness, well-being, and the importance of supportive communities for men.What does International Men's Day mean to you? Did you know it existed? We try to answer that—and more! With special guest interviews about men and their fitness. Get ready for a few laughs, insights, and plenty of celebrations as we honour the men who make life brighter.

It's the women's turn at the Cayman Islands Classic. The FRC hosts a 3x3 basketball tournament for International Men's Day And the Cayman Islands Marathon is breaking records, before the event even begins. #rcsports #rcnews #radiocayman #sportsxtra

In the latest episode of Our People Podcast, Beth sits down with Simon Larbey, one of Veolia's General Managers, for an inspiring and candid conversation about vulnerability, leadership and the power of positive role models. Released to mark International Men's Day, this episode explores how being vulnerable is a sign of strength and offers a refreshing perspective on modern male leaders.

Whatsapp/Call: +91 9480585042 Email: info@febaonline.org 

- International Men's day - Miss Universe - The penguin Song credits - Two and a half men theme- Grant Geissman

Had to crack out another episode this week to deal with the Farmer protests, and an interesting clash at PMQs. Then - in the week of International Men's Day - The Man Whisperer rejoins us to chat about the big issues facing blokes and young men in particular (I also make some immature jokes about porn).  Order the PAPERBACK EDITION of my book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/British-Bloke-Decoded-Everything-explained/dp/1800961308/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr= JOIN the Podcast Patreon and receive each episode early, AD-FREE & with bonus content https://www.patreon.com/geoffnorcott?fan_landing=true  Join my MAILING LIST for priority Tour booking & special offers https://signup.ymlp.com/xgyueuwbgmgb Watch my COMEDY SPECIAL on YouTube https://youtu.be/YaxhuZGtDLs  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Happy International Men's day --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/dtruthpodcast/support

Many Men Die Younger Than Women - In fact on average, men have a shorter lifespan compared to women. Males have higher death rates than females for almost all leading causes of death and at all ages. Men's poorer lifestyles contribute significantly to the prevalence of chronic diseases. Many Men often present to health services late, making many health issues untreatable. International Men's Day is celebrated on November 19th every year and is a great opportunity to take part in a global conversation about manhood, masculinity and men's issues. Aidan and Stephen discuss the themes outlined above this years theme about mens health champions, role models and more. Donate here to Aidans attempt at lifting 60,000kg this month for Movember.If you would like to support the podcast please Buy us a Coffee or check out our social media channels to purchase our new Coffee Tumblrs.Instagram: @soulbrewpodcastFacebook: @soulbrewpodcastTik Tok: @soulbrewpodcastTwitter: @soulrewpodcastEmail: soulbrewpodcast@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Skyler Riesberg and Spencer Clark discuss recent college basketball games, including the matchups between Northern Iowa and Wichita State, Purdue and Alabama, and Gonzaga and San Diego State. They delve into player performances, team dynamics, and the significance of these games in the context of the season. The conversation also touches on broader themes such as the impact of transfers and the evolution of college basketball. In this episode, the hosts discuss their 'Dog of the Week' picks, highlighting underdog teams in college basketball. They delve into the upcoming Maui Invitational, previewing key matchups and potential outcomes. The conversation also touches on Carmelo Anthony's son committing to Syracuse, the state of various college teams, and a humorous news corner segment featuring notable events in college basketball. The episode wraps up with a look ahead at exciting games to watch in the coming week.

We open this episode with Happy Birthday wishes to Parlour Stacy and offer support to the spouses of all Scorpios - it's a real thing.We also celebrate International Men's Day and explore it Trini origins although November 19th is one of the saddest days in history for Trini Men.Dwight Yorke who was part of that sad day is now in charge and ready to deliver smiles throughout the region as we pick back up our World Cup 2026 campaign.We have a slew of songs lined up for men in this episode with the most famous one being Bassman from Hell and Sharlan Bailey helps us celebrate its 50th anniversary with a modern day interpretation of the banger.Somewhere in between all that we talk about Mike Tyson vs Jake Paul and youth vs wisdom.Enjoy!!!

On International Men’s Day, Dr. Jim Adams, Chief Medical Officer of Northwestern Medicine, talks about some important screenings to keep men over 40 healthy. Lisa also recounts her husband’s important experience with precautionary screenings and doctor visits.

Today, in honour of International Men's Day and World Suicide Prevention Day, we're revisiting some of our most powerful conversations with some remarkable men who've opened up so candidly about their mental health journeys. From breaking stigmas to finding strength in vulnerability, these stories are the epitome of resilience.First, psychotherapist Owen O'Kane reflects on his deeply personal experiences growing up in Northern Ireland during the Troubles as a gay Irish Catholic man and how opening up to a therapist - an Irish Catholic nun, no less - helped him break free from what he calls the "holy trinity of shame." Next, SAS star Jason Fox shares his transformation from being sceptical of therapy to finding life-changing support through clinical psychology, thanks to the encouragement of a boss during one of his darkest periods. Finally, chart-topping singer Tom Grennan reveals how embracing fitness has been a game-changer for his mental health, giving him not just a new outlook but also a supportive gym community that feels like family.We hope this episode inspires you to start your own conversations. If you're struggling with your mental health, please call Samaritans for 24/7 emotional support on 116 123.For all the latest news, click here to follow us on Instagram!***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Billy kicks off our International Men's Day show with the All Sports Report, before Melbourne Storm superstar Ryan Papenhuyzen is in studio - addressing the rumours around his contract status for 2026. Topics Brownless wants to know about the best bargain you had, then Billy brings back his 5 at 5:05 with the best moments of MMM Cricket commentary from the T20 series against Pakistan, Aaron Finch joins the show to look ahead to the India test series, then we're giving you a chance to play for a spot in the Australian Open Pro-Am. Finally, Billy has a joke about a cheating husband to close the show.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Guest Bear Woznick, author "12 Rules for Manliness", joins to discuss International Men's Day. Discussion of return of manliness, the death of "wokeness", and how to be a man in today's age. How do we train the next generation of boys to be proper men? Media continues to speculate how they lost the election. MSNBC tries to play nice with Trump, while others say "normalizing Trump" is dangerous. Have they, or will the learn their lesson?  Tensions in Ukraine/Russia continue to escalate...is it by design?

Emotional intelligence is the new superpower. This International Men's Day episode explores what modern masculinity could and should look like. More men are openly discussing mental health, and the statistics show why it matters. Thankfully, there's a therapy revolution underway that's normalising mental wellness as part of everyday life. Join us for honest conversations as we share practical ways to support the men in your life. Alex Egeler Coaching Joe Consedine, Mobilise Mental Health Pillars She is not your rehab 'Til next week, Powrsuiters! Got a topic you want us to discuss? Email us at ⁠hello@powrsuit.com⁠ Join Powrsuit on LinkedIn and Instagram, and be sure to check out our Membership Network at ⁠www.powrsuit.com.

We're live with Bear Woznick, Catholic author and professional surfer, will talk about the "12 Rules for Manliness: Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?", on International Men's Day, Kelly Breaux, Founder of Red Bird Ministries, gives hope to families who have lost children and Stephanie Sterling, Executive Director of Catholic Charities Diocese of Baton Rouge, with Christmas foster family program & Sanctuary for Life Building.

Quote of The Day: ”Those who leave everything in God's hands will eventually see God's hands in everything" Hosts: TOLA Omoniyi, Kanyinsola

Today is International Men's Day, and rather than focusing on toxic masculinity, which is covered quite often in the media, Kieran is joined by a panel to talk about ‘positive masculinity.'Michael Harding Author and Columnist with the Irish Times and Joe O'Shea, Editor of Cork Beo join to discuss.

On today's show:

Join Bobby and Bridge as they mark International Men's Day. They are joined by their special guest, Daniele Fiandaca from Token Man Consulting to dive into the often-overlooked challenges that men face today, from mental health to shifting roles in society. Together, they discuss the importance of creating spaces for men to be vulnerable, break stereotypes, and how inclusive leadership plays a crucial role in moving the conversation forward. Tune in for an engaging and insightful conversation on why it's time to support men as allies and agents of change. Links Daniele Fiandaca | LinkedIn International Men's Day Token Man Brave Space Hard as Nails Uncommon Man Robert Baker| LinkedIn Josh Connolly | LinkedIn Rob Smith | LinkedIn Seb Randle | LinkedIn Elliott Rae | LinkedIn Lee Chambers | LinkedIn Sal Naseem FRSA | LinkedIn Feeling Wheel Marriage Story - film Emilia Perez - film Workplace Diversity, Inclusion, Gender Equity | Michelle P. King (michellepking.com) 7 Leadership Lessons Men Can Learn from Women (hbr.org)

SBS Sinhala discussion In conjunction with this year's International Men's Day on November 19, 2024, "Look out for your mates, take action, stay healthy". - 2024 නොවැම්බර් 19 වැනිදාට යෙදෙන International Men's Day යන දිනයට සමගාමීව, මෙවර තේමාව වන “Look out for your mates, take action, stay healthy” යන තේමාව යටතේ SBS සිංහල සේවය සිදු කල සාකච්චාවට සවන්දෙන්න

Tonight we're heading to Nelson to speak to the local men's group facilitator and event coordinator Hardy Bachert about the group's open day on Saturday.

This week Chris (@Chris_W1987) dedicates his show to International Men's Day and he's joined by Brent Poland (@BrentPoland1) and Paul Hazzard (@Arkle123) to discuss key issues around men and teaching. Together they explore the impact of teaching on men's well-being and look at some of the ways in which mental health can be improved.

Leon Ruri is the founder of “Haka For Life,” an initiative that uses the traditional Māori haka to empower community, particularly those battling depression. Growing up in New Zealand, Leon moved to Australia and saw an opportunity to support community through cultural connection.   Since its inception in 2017, Haka For Life has organized significant events, such as a performance on Sydney Tower Eye for International Men's Day with a commitment to generate awareness and support for the unique mental health issues facing Men and indigenous people. Leon's personal journey through difficult circumstances in his youth and his dedication to cultural heritage drive his mission to help others find strength and community. Join us for an inspiring interview with a real difference maker.

In today's episode of Good Authority, Jonathan and Gary Barker engage in a thought-provoking conversation about challenging traditional gender norms and binary labels, particularly those associated with masculinity. They share personal experiences and observations on the harmful effects of toxic masculinity and the importance of creating safe spaces for men to express emotions and open up about their struggles. They also discuss the challenges of expressing emotions and prioritizing mental health in a society that expects men to be stoic and unemotional, and the effects of social media on young people. The conversation highlights the need for ongoing support and dialogue to empower girls and boys and break down barriers that restrict their full equality, while also emphasizing the importance of self-care, empathy, and open communication in fostering a more emotionally authentic and supportive environment for men. Gary Barker, PhD, has been a global voice in engaging men and boys in advancing gender equality, gender justice and positive masculinities for three decades. He is the CEO and co-founder of Equimundo Center for Masculinities and Social Justice, a major contributor to international activism on male allyship in gender equality. He was the first Executive Director of Instituto Promundo in Brazil and led its pioneering work on healthy masculinities. He is co-founder of MenCare, a global campaign in more than 50 countries to promote men's involvement as caregivers, and co-founder of MenEngage, a global alliance of more than 700 NGOs. He co-created the International Men and Gender Equality Survey (IMAGES), the largest survey of men's attitudes and behaviors related to violence, fatherhood, and gender equality. He leads Equimundo's State of the World's Fathers reports, which has become a major advocacy platform for the global care economy. He has coordinated Equimundo's partnerships in conflict-affected settings including work on community-based trauma support and restorative justice in the Democratic Republic of Congo, the Balkans, the US and Brazil. He advises the UN, the World Bank, national governments, international foundations and corporations on strategies to engage men and boys in promoting gender equality. In 2017 he was named by Apolitical as one of the 20 most influential people in gender policy worldwide. He is an Ashoka Fellow and received the Voices of Solidarity Award from Vital Voices for his work to engage men for gender equality. He holds a PhD in Developmental Psychology and a Research Affiliate position at the Center for Social Sciences, University of Coimbra, Portugal. He lived nearly 20 years in Latin America and is fluent in Spanish and Portuguese. Connect with Gary: https://www.equimundo.org/ https://x.com/equimundo_org   Continue the conversation with Jonathan: Sign Up For The Newsletter: https://jonathanraymond.com/#newsletter Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/agoodauthority ⁠⁠⁠⁠Try Ren, the AI Leadership Coach: https://rencoach.com/

Guess who just returned from her long senior Contiki Tour? Ellie, also known as Mum Johnson, is back from her two-month trip to France!  It's also International Men's Health Week. Matt and Ash explain why they need to prioritize their health after personal sobering experiences. We encourage men to make regular doctor's check-ups a routine part of life for you and the sake of your kids' future. Let us know when you've booked your appointment with your local GP! Slide into our DM's @twodotingdads with any parenting question you need answered by a couple of doting dads.  If you need a shoulder to cry on:  Buy our book: https://www.penguin.com.au/books/two-doting-dads-9781761346552  Two Doting Dads Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/639833491568735/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheTwoDotingDads  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/twodotingdads/  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twodotingdads  Email: hello@twodotingdads.com  We're giving away FREE cases of STONE AND WOOD!  All you have to do is share an IG story of you listening to Two Doting Dads!  Be sure to tag @twodotingdads and @stoneandwood in the story, and one lucky listener will win a case of delicious beer every week!

Are we still raising boys the 'traditional' way, like boys should always be tough and not allowed to cry? But at the same time they are also expected to be emotionally available? Is there a new right? BoyMom author Ruth Whippman joins us from CaliforniaIt's International Men's Health Week and Dr Martin Moody, Consultant Urological Surgeon at King's College Hospital answers the questions that men are mostly embarrassed to askReal estate and property focus today with Haus & Haus and on the Legal Clinic with lawyer Scott Hutton from BLK Partners.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nick O'Neill of Oriel Chambers outlines a modern approach for mental health in a traditional industry that is the legal sector.He explains that law is known for being a male dominated culture, attracting alpha characters. And that presents a challenge for addressing a very human need, particularly when you consider that many men of the generation that struggle to engage with mental health, are managers. Their perceptions and behaviours have a far-reaching impact.Add to that Nick's view that most lawyers hate being told what to do and the challenge of billable hours, and you will understand that this is a complex issue.Nick outlines how the Bar is addressing the layers of cultural complexity to break down barriers.He shares advice about the need to keep women out - a controversial but informed perspective. He explains the need to get more people on the bus by creating a commercial case.And Nick describes the impact of the Merseyside Men's Legal Wellbeing Group, discussing topics such as professional happiness, imposter syndrome and professional goals.We both detest tick boxes. This is about real life.Don't let Mental Health Awareness Week in May, Global Wellness Day tomorrow, and International Men's Health Week next week become token gestures. Instead, do something that impacts long term by creating engagement and momentum. Once you've listened to this podcast, check out what Stuart Codling had to say about the same topic in the police.These guys have found ways to make a real difference. How are YOU going about that?More about Nick:After a successful career as a litigation solicitor/partner at KLS Law, Nick O'Neill recognised his real passion for people / operational management. Following the completion of his MBA at Nottingham Trent University, Nick moved into full time legal practice management in 2010. Nick has managed at 3 private sector law firms and spent 5 years as the Legal Governance and Practice Manager at Wirral Borough Council. In January 2021, Nick moved to take up the role of Chambers Director at Oriel Chambers in Liverpool. Nick struggled with his own mental health as a young solicitor and after a period of self-development and study, became a Lawcare support worker in 2010. Nick is a Lawcare Champion and regularly speaks on the legal circuit on behalf of Lawcare, communicating the services that this amazing charity provides. Nick is a qualified ILM Level 5 mental health / career coach and regularly coaches young lawyers to assist them with their career goals. In 2024 Nick became the Chair of the Merseyside Legal Men's Wellbeing Group.Links to contact Nick:LinkedIn:Nick O'NeillOriel ChambersResources & ReferencesWatch this episode on YouTubeMake a real difference to your mental health by exploring topics that significantly impact at Leadership & Manager Labs (itstimeforchange.co.uk)

Gary Barker, PhD, has been a global voice in engaging men and boys in advancing gender equality, gender justice and positive masculinities for three decades. He is the CEO and co-founder of Equimundo Center for Masculinities and Social Justice (formerly Promundo-US), a major contributor to international activism on male allyship in gender equality. He was the first Executive Director of Instituto Promundo in Brazil and led its pioneering work on healthy masculinities. He is co-founder of MenCare, a global campaign in more than 50 countries to promote men's involvement as caregivers, and co-founder of MenEngage, a global alliance of more than 700 NGOs. He co-created the International Men and Gender Equality Survey (IMAGES), the largest survey of men's attitudes and behaviors related to violence, fatherhood, and gender equality. He leads Equimundo's State of the World's Fathers reports, which has become a major advocacy platform for the global care economy. He has coordinated Equimundo's partnerships in conflict-affected settings including work on community-based trauma support and restorative justice in the Democratic Republic of Congo, the Balkans, the US and Brazil. He advises the UN, the World Bank, national governments, international foundations and corporations on strategies to engage men and boys in promoting gender equality. In 2017 he was named by Apolitical as one of the 20 most influential people in gender policy worldwide. He is an Ashoka Fellow and received the Voices of Solidarity Award from Vital Voices for his work to engage men for gender equality. He holds a PhD in Developmental Psychology and a Research Affiliate position at the Center for Social Sciences, University of Coimbra, Portugal. He lived nearly 20 years in Latin America and is fluent in Spanish and Portuguese.   Visit Equimundo's Website: www.Equimundo.org The Global Boyhood Initiative: www.BoyhoodInitiative.org MenCare: www.MenCare.org Dr. Gary Barker's TEDTalk - Click here to watch "A Refaming of Masculinity, Rooted in Empathy" Follow Equimundo on Social Media: Instagram, Facebook, & YouTube   __________________________________ Connect with Dr. Lotte using the links below!   NEW ONLINE SELF STUDY COURSE - Click here for "Connecting with your Spirit Team"   JUNE 2024 ONLINE MASTERCLASS - Click here to learn more about Healing your Ancestral Mother Wound Online Masterclass!   Subscribe to Dr. Lotte's Newsletter Visit Dr. Lotte's Website Stay Connected on Social Meida, follow Dr. Lotte on Instagram, Facebook, & Youtube

The Black Country Blokes, Lee & Kev, are joined by Sara Ward from Black Country Women's Aid for a powerful conversation. They discuss the important work BCWA does to support victims of domestic violence and abuse. Sara also shares insights on how men can be allies in the fight for equality.But it's not all serious talk! The fellas also look ahead to upcoming International Men's Day (November 19th) and International Women's Day (March 8th, 2025) and explore ways to celebrate both.This episode is a must-listen for anyone who wants to learn more about domestic violence, support a good cause, and celebrate equality.#BlackCountryBlokes #WomensAid #DomesticViolence #Abuse #Equality #MensDay #WomensDaySupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/bcb. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We are sharing some of the powerful talks that were presented at our 2024 International Men's Summit. Josh Sherley started off the Summit on a strong note with his talk about coming to Jesus. He challenged every man that first night to truly assess where they are with Jesus. Itwas a soul-stretching talk that resulted in an outpouring of prayer and repentance.

Peter Mandelson thinks Keir Starmer "needs to shed a few pounds". And Giles, always the friendly neighbour, thinks he can help his local MP look his dashing best on camera. What should he wear, where should he stand, and who should he stand next to? You're welcome Sir Keir - a future invite to Chequers is surely inevitable... Plus, it's International Women's Day. So what better way to celebrate than writing about what International Men's Day would look like? And while in the safe confines of podcast land, Giles asks Esther about whether she's scared of the menopause. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode of SOSCAST where “Finance meets Romance”, Adam “SOS” Sosnick hosts a cultural discussion about International Women's Day alongside a panel of lovely ladies. Brace yourselves for the unfiltered questions: Is International Women's Day a necessity, or just another date on the calendar? Why does an International Men's Day seem to be MIA? And, the burning query: Do men genuinely care about International Women's Day? Buckle up for a wild. Learn to get PAID, LAID, and do it YOUR WAY - only on The SOSCAST!

Today's podcast includes a chat about International Women's Day. Some people are wondering why we don't celebrate International Men's Day? We explain. Also: Jake Paul to fight Mike Tyson is the news nobody saw coming. Why won't the feds regulate banks more? Joe Biden's State of the Union was something else. And, Has anybody called Michigan and New York about canceling daylight savings time? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Just in time for International Women's Day on March 8, we dig into the surprising history of this worldwide celebration of patriarchy-pummeling. Angela Barnes and feminism “expert” John O'Farrell trace IWD's roots from its beginnings in Communist countries in the early 20th century via a brazen American attempt to cover up its origins… and never once says “yeah, but when is it International Men's Day?”   Support We Are History on Patreon and get exclusive benefits including bonus episodes, mugs and more! https://patreon.com/WeAreHistory We Are History is written and presented by Angela Barnes and John O'Farrell. Production by Simon Williams. Artwork by James Parrett. Group Editor is Andrew Harrison. We Are History is a Podmasters Production. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

durée : 00:05:44 - La Revue de presse internationale - par : Catherine Duthu - Il s'agirait de la plus grande fuite de documents attestant du cyberespionnage et piratage menés par Pékin : 500 documents de la société chinoise iSoon, liée à l'État, témoignent d'attaques contre des gouvernements étrangers, des entreprises et des dissidents chinois, rapportent plusieurs médias.

What if prevailing societal expectations are harming men's mental health more than we realize? Join us on a thought-provoking journey that spotlights the essential yet often overlooked role of emotional intelligence in men's mental well-being. This episode is dedicated to International Men's Day, emphasizing the urgency of allowing men to understand and regulate their emotions. We also delve into the impact of an emotionally present father on a child's life and explore the benefits of seeking mentorship or coaching in emotional regulation. Taking the leap to invest in oneself can be demanding and draining, but what if this emotional work was the key to improving overall mental health? We venture into this challenging terrain, underlining how these crucial emotional workouts can sometimes be more taxing than the most strenuous physical tasks. In light of International Men's Day, we underscore the pressing need for men to cultivate healthy emotional intelligence. Our conversation culminates in a reminder to all: let's recognize, support, and champion men in their journey towards becoming emotionally well-rounded individuals.Support the showRecovery is Beautiful. Go Live Your Best Life!!Life Is Wonderful.Lovewww.lifeiswonderful.loveYour EQ is Your IQRecovery Freedom CircleThe System That Understands Recovery, Builds Character and Helps People Have Better Relationships.A Life Changing Solutionhttps://lifeiswonderful-love.mykajabi.com/storeFacebook Group - Recovery Freedom Circle | FacebookYouTube - Life Is Wonderful Hugo VInstagram - Lifeiswonderful.LoveTikTok - Lifeiswonderful.LovePinterest - Lifeiswonderful.LoveTwitter - LifeWonderLoveLinkedIn - Hugo Vrsalovic Life Is Wonderful.Love

Join us for an emotional and heart-warming episode of Craftcast, where our hosts sit down with Frank Tiller, a London Freemason and prostate cancer survivor, on the occasion of International Men's Day. Frank takes us on a journey from his initial diagnosis to his recovery, and shares how he channelled his ordeal into an initiative to educate others about prostate cancer awareness. Working with the charity CHAPS, Frank is on a mission to spread the word about available testing and support for men, addressing a prevalent yet often overlooked issue.Tune in to learn more about Frank's inspiring story and how you can make a difference.

Since it's International Men's Day, we've only gone and invited a man to chat to us for this week's Chops, because gender inequality is bad for everyone. And what group of men can better demonstrate this than... the England football team?Screenwriter and playwright James Graham's new play Dear England, got off to a very successful start at the National Theatre and is now enjoying an extended run in London's West End. So our Jen caught up with James to find out more about it. They chat toxic masculinity, fear of failure, national identity, and the gaffer himself, Gareth Southgate – call him Gareth.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/standardissuespodcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the pursuit of gender equity, Ludo Gabriele emerges as an esteemed authority, globally acclaimed for advocating healthy masculinity. As a trailblazing thought leader in diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI), he welcomes nuance, disagreement, and holistic inclusion, inviting change and transformation. Ludo is the founder of Humen Leaders, a leadership advisory practice devoted to advancing healthy masculinity in the workplace and beyond. As the senior director of branding of the MARC (Men Advocating Real Change) Initiative at Catalyst, Ludo led its full rebranding, from storytelling to visual identity. He delivered more than 100 engagements with senior leaders, top-tier media, and academics. He also led the learning design and implementation of two ground-breaking events on healthy masculinity in the workplace: the MARC Summit in 2020 and Real Change with MARC in 2022. His expertise has notably been featured on Forbes, BBC, and Vice. As masculinity reaches a crossroads, Ludo joins us to discuss the significance of celebrating International Men's Day in 2023. We delve into some of the key challenges that men face today, examine the state of masculinity, and suggest ways to avoid zero-sum thinking in the pursuit of holistic gender equity. Tuning in, you'll also learn about the cultural shift required to make real progress, the difference between equity and equality, the importance of being receptive to opposing views, and more. For a fascinating conversation about what must change to create a better world for all, don't miss this eye-opening conversation with Ludo Gabriele.   Key Highlights From This Episode: •   Ludo's take on the importance of celebrating International Men's Day in 2023. [05:43] •   Conformity and conflicting narratives about masculinity in today's patriarchal culture. [12:13] •   The perception of “soft skills” as feminine and why progress requires a culture change. [15:33] •   Societal challenges for men and boys that can ultimately lead to self-harm, poor mental health, and even violence. [20:10] •   The identity crisis many men face today and the importance of building community. [27:05] •   What it means to Ludo to take a holistic approach to gender equity. [31:33] •   How to help men avoid zero-sum thinking (that when one group wins another must lose) when it comes to “leveling the playing field.” [35:43] •   Key takeaways about gender equity and practical advice for both men and women. [38:49]   For More Information: Ludo Gabriele Humen Leaders MARC Initiative at Catalyst Ludo Gabriele on LinkedIn Ludo Gabriele on Instagram Ludo Gabriele on X   Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: Learn more about the significance of International Men's Day. Gain insight into the challenges that men face today in the State of American Men Report 2023.   ——————— Are you ready for a BIG positive shift in how you're working and what you're capable of achieving today in your career and leadership? Let's work together and make that happen! While you might know me best as a podcast host and writer, a key focus in my work is career and leadership coaching for mid to high-level professional women around the globe. In my top-rated career and leadership breakthrough coaching programs. I help both men and women get what they want most, which includes more confidence, impact, recognition, advancement, financial reward, well-being, and fulfillment. And I also help them close their power gaps and embrace their most exciting visions for the future. In the past 16 years, I've worked with over 20,000 professionals across 6 continents. Before that, I served as a therapist, and prior to that, I was a corporate VP managing multi-million-dollar budgets and global initiatives. I leverage all of that experience to help people build a new chapter of work to reach their highest and happiest potential in careers they love. For organizations looking for top-level career and leadership coaches to support the emerging and seasoned female leaders in your workforce, please feel free to contact me here. Check out my top four career and leadership growth programs here >> https://kathycaprino.com/career-help/#coaching. I hope you'll register now. I'd love to support you! And use coupon code “UNSTUCK25” at registration checkout to get a 25% discount this week.   ——————— Need some great podcast production support? Check out We Edit Podcasts! Are you thinking of launching a new podcast or have you been at it a while and recognize it's time for more or better production help to create the best podcast you can? I totally understand — I've been podcasting for over 6 years and know how challenging it can be. That's why I'm very excited to share key info about the great product team I'm using called We Edit Podcasts. I've been working with them for well over a year, and I've been so happy with the results! They're a full-service production agency and their services give me access to a wonderful team of seasoned audio engineers and editors who help create a polished, professional sound. And they work hard to ensure that my particular podcasting approach and style comes through in every episode. They also help me make sure my guests are reflected in the best possible light through the creation of terrific show notes, which is an important part of the show for me. Their process is easy and streamlined, and their responsiveness and customer service are terrific too. If you're ready for better production help, definitely check them out and take advantage of their FREE trial episode, allowing you to sample their process and quality to see if it's a great fit for you. I'm confident you'll love them. Just click here >> http://weeditpodcasts.com/findingbrave

There is no one way when it comes to medical sales. It is ripe with opportunities along with a variety of paths. One of those is sports medicine. How do you break into this field as a medical sales representative and succeed? As we celebrate International Men's Day, Samuel Adeyinka interviews Jordan Rawlins about the world of orthopedics, namely sports medicine. What are you selling? What are the different roles in sports medicine medical sales and what do you need to prepare to ensure success in this space? What are the pitfalls to avoid? Jordan answers these questions and more. Plus, he takes us into his journey into medical device sales, the opportunities he found, and why he fell in love with the field. Whether you are still figuring out if this is the path for you or already on your way, this episode with Jordan is full of wisdom that will have you not only navigate sports medicine medical sales but also thrive!   The CE experience for this Podcast is powered by CMEfy - click here to reflect and earn credits: https://earnc.me/AkyRbX Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share! Here's How »   Join the Medical Sales Podcast Community today: evolveyoursuccess.com

In this episode, Lesley and Brad explore the concept of doubling your goals and how it can transform your life. Discover why challenging yourself is the key to achieving your dreams and learn how to prioritize your goals amid life's demands.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How to challenge your comfort zone by doubling your goals.The importance of understanding the "why" behind your goals.How to set clear intentions and timeline to your goals.Why you should embrace the journey, not just the destination.Episode References/Links:WE & LL Weekend in ChicagoOPC WorkshopsBusiness CoachingReady is a Lie by Angie Lee  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.Get your free Athletic Greens 1 year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free travel packsGet your discount for some Toe Sox using the code: LESLEYBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  Goals should be fucking scary. They should be bigger than what you think you can do because they actually make you become a new person. They make you, they challenge you and they actually they actually make you show up for things that you wouldn't do.Lesley Logan 0:09  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 0:10  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It Interview Recap where my co-host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the thought-provoking convo I had with Jake Kaufman in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to the interview, feel free to pause this now. Go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. So fine, we actually, Jake is a friend we know him we get to spend some time together we kind of briefly chatted about him in a previous podcast for my Enneagram and Keri Ford is his partner. So lots of amazing people come into the pod because we have amazing friends Brad's so fun. Today, you all is October 19th 2023, if you're listening to in real time, which means it is Conflict Resolution Day. And according to this day, in the calendar, it says conflicts arise in many areas of our life, such as workplaces, relationships and families. It's unavoidable process of life. What is important, however, is how we resolve it. Conflict Resolution is not happy, nasty, can be resolved through peaceful methods. So do any complex or stressing you out you can actually call or text us and share your conflict. And we can give advice.Brad Crowell 1:14  Yeah, so no, we'll keep it neutral.Lesley Logan 1:16  I love it. Actually, we should give advice I listened to Don't Ask Tig and I listened to Elijah (inaudible) and they give advice on conflicts all the time. All the time. And you know what I love? I love to see if like what they answer I agree with and, you know, typically with Eliza we're on point. Always. I'm gonna tell her that to her face someday. Take a not always no. But I love Tig Notaro. She's so nice. But like this last episode, I listened to them. I didn't agree with any advice they gave out. So that's reallly funny. So you can text we have a number to text us. +1 3-2-3-5-4-6-0 Hold on. +1-3-2-3-5-4-6-6-0-4-2 I would not have chosen that phone number guys. It's too many numbers.Brad Crowell 2:06  We might change it but for now you can text us there. Lesley Logan 2:08  It should be like blah, blah, blah. Be It Pod. Like it should be like it should just spell it out. I know that the kids today are (Brad Crowell: I'll tell the producers to get this shit together.) The kids today don't know how to use a phone number. (inaudible) Oh my gosh, I so Little McKenna, because her favorite word is poop. And I told her I said, Hey, my favorite coffee shop's bathroom is bathroom code is 7667. And I said Do you know what that means? And she's like, No. And I was like, it spells poop. She's like, did like I don't understand how that's possible. And I was like, Okay, let me explain your phone to you. So anyways, if you have conflicts that are stressing you out, you can call or text us at 323-546-6042. And we'll give you some advice. We'll put it in the question section. I think that's really fun. I do want to say something about conflict. That is I'm not good at this yet. But I remember our coaches from a while back saying like, do you want to win? Like, is it important to you that you are right, or that you work it out? And the thing is, is that sometimes in conflicts, we just want the person to go, you're right. And like that's rarely good. Like unless the other person is like also enlightened and like understand is right. Like there are people in your life. Like you can probably pick them out right now that even if you share how somebody makes you feel, they're never gonna go, oh my god, I'm sorry. I'm the asshole. Like, it's just not gonna happen. That's why there's a conflict there. But you have to kind of go okay, like, do I need to be right? Or do I just need to work this out. And it doesn't mean like compromising yourself. But it might mean like, just not bringing up 17 things that are bothering you. And just going like, here's the thing that I really needed to change so that we can like, like, stop being late. As opposed to you're late, and you're overbearing, and you call too much. And you're all these things like what is the one thing that would really if they could change that like could actually make the relationship better?Brad Crowell 4:00  That sounds pretty personal, but just kidding. Lesley Logan 4:05  Oh, it's not about you. But are you feeling guilty about being late all the time? (Brad: Maybe.)Lesley Logan 4:10  Oh, someone's guilty. You guys this is how my dad handles a conflict with Brad. He's like he's like He says, my dad says it, Brad every fucking time he gets in the car. Not five minutes early, you're five minutes late. Brad Crowell 4:22  Right. If you're early you're early. Yeah, you know, you're gonna be on top. We're gonna be on time they'll work. Yeah, well listen, you know, we we would happily give you some advice on how you can be it till you see it while trying to resolve your conflict. So yeah. Text us at +1-3-3-5-4-6-6-4. Okay, (Lesley: See?) 323-546-6042.Lesley Logan 4:52  Well, the way we said it so many times people were like, hold on. repeat that one more time and we did it. But do you see how they don't flow together, they don't flow together. Brad Crowell 5:00  It's not a flow number. Lesley Logan 5:02  No, no, my work phone number is really flowy like I will I looked at 10 numbers and I was like, this is the one. Okay, so this week we are oh my gosh, are we still in Cambodia? (inaudible) Yes, we're still in Cambodia. (Brad: In fact.) We're getting the house ready for next year as well. Because we'll have a retreat in October of next year. And if you are on the waitlist for that retreat, you're gonna get the best price like you'll get the best price. So because our waitlisters, get the early bird price. Right?Brad Crowell 5:35  Yeah. So basically, get yourself on that waitlist by going to Lesleylogan.co/retreat. We will be announcing all that stuff the beginning of next year. Right in early next year. Probably January. Yeah, we'd be looking at so we'll start sending some emails out about that at the end of this year. Lesley Logan 5:55  Actually, if you're on the waitlist, I send you an email every month, let you know what's going on, in fact that people on the waitlist already have the date saved they are like it's really, we really help you out because we know it takes a lot to plan a big trip. And we have people who are already planning on coming. So it's possible that it sells out really quickly. So you're gonna want to make sure on that waitlist. Brad Crowell 6:12  Yeah, things are starting to get busy again with our retreats. So yeah, don't wait on this right now. We're still only running one a year. And there's only room for 20. So you know, don't don't sit on that. Alright, moving on.Lesley Logan 6:25  Moving on November I am you can sign up for Chicago when you hear this if there's any spots left. So each of the classes only have sponsor 12. And the workshops only have space for 24. That might sound like a lot of people. It's not a lot of people because it's Chicago and there's a lot of fucking people in there. So you're gonna want to go to beitpod.com/chicago to snag your spot. That'd be beitpod.com/chicago. Erika Quest and I are teaching team workshop, classical contemporary collides. I'm teaching a workshop on how to build your tower and Springboard class. I have a masterclass there. I'm so excited to be teaching in Chicago, this is going to be a lot of fun. So we'll be back. And it's great. And then in December, I will have details on my workshops in Frisco, Texas, the first week of December with Erika Quest soon. First people get to there's like a group of people get to send it first. Sorry, don't get mad. They're inviting us. So they get first dibs. But then we'll be on tour. So we have already planned this out. By the time you're hearing this, we already have the cities locked down, we order the things and in fact, we probably are already marketing some of those said cities right now. But at the time we're recording this. We're still putting those things in place. But it's our biggest best tour ever. And I'm so fucking excited about it. It's gonna be amazing.)Brad Crowell 7:40  It's gonna be amazing. We're gonna be basically rolling out cities as we confirm them, right? So consistently check back there may be a city near you. We're gonna do 7000 miles on this upcoming tours.Lesley Logan 7:53  We have people who are all like we will we have some members who already know we're not coming to their city. And we're like, oh, we're hoping to go this city and like two hours away. I'm gonna make that happen. What do you think it's going to be? I'm gonna start blocking my day out. So we're driving 7000 miles, you could drive 100? I'm just saying.Brad Crowell 8:08  Yes, we'll be able to answer that. Yes.Lesley Logan 8:10  Yeah. Conflict resolution right there.Brad Crowell 8:14  In the meantime, get yourself on our waitlist for our events go to opc.me/event opc.me/event.Lesley Logan 8:21  Yeah, then you won't have to worry about missing anything with like socials or emails or whatever. Because it is the holidays. It gets crazy. Before getting talking to Jake Kaufman. Do we have an audience question?Brad Crowell 8:32  We totally do. This came from IG. Thanks so much for asking. The question is I started an online platform because my social media has a good following, but I feel like it's turning into a full time job. Does it ever simply become a side hustle?Lesley Logan 8:48  I mean, it's someone's full time job. Whether it's yours or not, is a different story. But this question I really loved and I actually chatted a little bit about it on Instagram, and it got a lot of people going, Oh, my God, I feel so seen because my answer was, yeah, it's it's multiple people's full time jobs. So Brad can pitch Brad Crowell 9:07  I can definitely attest. I mean, the second person in our company that we ever hired, was to begin supporting the online platform. Yeah, it was a video editor. Yeah. And we brought her in and she said, I need five hours of work a week. I said, perfect. I'm offloading the editing of these classes to you. And so she was editing two classes every single week. But that was like the second person that we hired today our team has grown to more than 20. Yeah, not all of them are working on full time on the on the online platform there there are, I don't know but like seven to ten people who are working on our platform all the time. Lesley Logan 9:11  Here's the hat I still wear for OPC I'm still the content creator. I'm still the social media manager and content creator of that content. I am still the marketing head of said things. You're writing the emails, I'm writing the emails I am creating the classes I'm done the person filming the classesBrad Crowell 10:03  Plus you're planning stuff out too. (inaudible) Lesley Logan 10:05  And then I also have things I also brought on other teachers thinking that would actually help me out. But I still have to manage them and approve their classes and approve their stuff and their ideas. And I'm still the person who comes up with all the workshops and all the things. So I still have a heavy workload. And sometimes I'm customer service, because people don't go to customer service, they'll come to me and I'm like, you come to my DMs. And it's, I don't want to I don't go fuck you. But I want to go, I have no idea what your password is like, I don't know. I don't know what you bought that with? Did you put your right email in? So um, sometimes customer service. And then. And then we have Brad who runs the team, we have a project manager who makes sure everything happens on time, we have a full time editor, someone who literally edits so much that he has full fucking time. And we are not even putting out the same amount of content that light plays anytime or any of the other people are. We also have a full time customer service person. And we have Emma she's like total strategist when it comes to ads and things like that, and conversion. And we have somebody who who schedules those said newsletters we likeBrad Crowell 11:13  All of that said, Listen, don't cry for me, Argentina. That's not what we're not putting this out there. You know, we're not trying to make you feel bad for us. But we are definitely saying that what started as what we thought was going to be a side hustle and forever recurring revenue. (Lesley: Oh, yeah.) it was not realistic for us to have those expectations. Because, you know, now we're five years into this project. And the fact is, in order for us to go bigger, to go better, to get better quality stuff, to be more consistent with our deliverables, to make our website easier to use, to make sure that (Lesley: I forgot the developers, I forgot all this) make sure that we're getting, you know, people the support that they need to use the membership. It's turned into a hell of a project. And we're quite proud of it, but not in any way, shape, or form is it a side hustle.Lesley Logan 12:03  Yeah. And I love that you pointed out, it's like, don't cry for me. My friend Erica Hood, she's been on the show before. She actually said, yes, everything you said on this Instagram thing is true. And I still would do it. And so you just have to ask yourself like, like, it's that idea of like, choose your shit sandwich, like life is, is basically some amazing bread, and some sort of like awesome things that you love, you know, like you love a certain sauce, you love a certain salad, you love a certain cheese, some shit in the middle, some more good stuff and some bread, right? So there's always going to be a trade off everything. It's called balance. So you just have like you decided that's what you want. If you're like, I hate technology, or I hate social media, or I don't want to wear all these hats. There's other ways of making an income stream. And, and but don't I wish we had known at the time, it wasn't a side hustle. I wish we would have known like we're stepping into a full time hustle.Brad Crowell 13:01  It's a hungry baby, right? Yes. What we mean by that is it actually never grows up, you're always going to be producing content for it. So if you're looking for something that could become a side hustle, you want something that has a start and a stop to it. So that it's like a course or a webinarBrad Crowell 13:16  or our work or our workout series, you know.Brad Crowell 13:20  Yeah, but it'd be a courser webinar, it's a start and stop, right? So like it could be a sequence of things. The point is that it's not consistently requiring new content. And then what you can do is you can make the most amazing, incredible, fantastic, super over-deliverable content once Yeah, and then you can focus on the marketing aspect of it. That would be far more of a side hustle than a membership. Lesley Logan 13:33  And if you are wanting to dive into this, we do all this inside of agency. So you can go to profitablepilates.com/agency to check that out. If you want to book a call and see if you just do the right thing that's for you, then reach out to the team, you can use that phone number that we repeated 17 times. No, don't use that. Don't use that one. Okay. Lesley Logan 13:46  So on the agency page is a place to book a call with me. Lesley Logan 14:04  Oh, book a call. And that way you can just see because it's important that you know these things, so that you can actually make the right decision for you based on your goals. So thanks, you can send your questions into the Be It pod. You can use well you can't use the phone number for that. And you can use Instagram or, or anything that we find the Be It pod on and send your questions I will answer them.Brad Crowell 15:45  Okay, here we go. Okay, now let's talk about Jacob Kauffman. Mr. Jake Kauffman is an author, International Men's transformation coach and spiritual mentor. He delved deep into the complexities of human motivation and self-worth, specifically his own, to write his new book in order to help men align with their deepest self-truth and authentic self.Lesley Logan 17:30  I loved a lot, it was really fun. I thought, there's some really good stuff in there. And so he talked a lot. My favorite thing I think, was probably like, readiness is not a state of being, readiness is a decision. And I Brad Crowell 17:43  I think that was pretty powerful, too.Lesley Logan 17:45  I'm like, done, interview done. That's enough. Just put that on repeat over and over again. It's a mantra like, because I, we hear this all the time, I'm not ready. I'm not ready. I'll join when I'm ready. I'll do this when I'm ready. And it's like, I just even saying those things out loud, you can clearly hear that readiness is a decision. It's not a state of being and like, Angie Lee is always about, I think she's been writing a book called Ready is a Lie. Because the point that you actually do feel ready for things is when you're almost sort of you're too late to the game. But like, you're feeling ready, because so many people have done what you were thinking of doing that now it feels safe, or you have, like, your goal of that thing is no longer scary to you. And, you know, we've talked to so many people about goals should be fucking scary. They should be bigger than what you think you can do. Because they actually make you become a new person they make they challenge you. And they actually, they actually make you show up for things that you wouldn't do. You know, so I, I'm like, I loved it. Like, that's enough for me to love. But there's a couple other things in here. But I just, I don't know, I just really think that is brilliant.Brad Crowell 18:58  Yeah, I mean, you know, I think even just in relationships and stuff, you know, I remember after my ex right away, I was like, I'm not ready. So I like was 100% unavailable. I didn't go on dates, I didn't talk to people about it nothing, right. And when we met even after we started seeing each other for, you know, on and off again for roughly six months, and even then I didn't feel ready. You know, to make it an official real consistent thing. And that if I had trusted my feelings, I don't think we ever would have gotten together because I would have continued to break up with you.Lesley Logan 19:45  You already broke up with me twice. There was not. There was not going to be a third time. Brad Crowell 19:50  But there was a point where it became had to be a decision and the decision was in direct conflict with the way I felt which was weird because it became this like heart versus head scenario of, you know, the logic, the logical Brad looked at everything written down on paper and was like, yes, but why do I feel afraid? Right? And that, and that was where that was the crux of it for me, because I was like, well, I shouldn't be ready, but I don't feel it. But I know that this is, I know that one plus one equals two here. But why does it feel like one plus one equals three? It feels like one, you know, and that's not that clearly isn't right. So it became this really internal struggle. But that's why I really appreciated what he's talking about what readiness is, it's not a state of being readiness is a decision that you make. And so when we started dating, I was like, I am ready to date even though I don't feel like I'm ready.Lesley Logan 20:47  Yeah, I remember that. Actually. I remember being, I remember being dumped twice.Brad Crowell 20:56  It's confusing for you.Lesley Logan 20:58  The most confusing thing was when you gave me a present, and then you told me not to read into it. I was like, That's so weird. It sounds strange. But it was a decision for you. I think it was also a decision. I remember that being a decision for me as well, because I remember when you decided that you were, like ready to try and I was like, oh, there's dog food at my house for a dog that's not mine. And there's things here for the next time you come am I, am I ready for this? And I was like, well, it's a decision we're making. Here we go. So I think I joke a lot like the reason this podcast even exists, Be It Till You See It is because I don't often feel ready for most of the things we decided to do. I like actually joke that there's a lot of times I feel like, you know, when you're at the top of the roller coaster, and then you get to like, it's like, I don't know, I did six flags a lot. And they had this old, old roller coaster. It's like clink, clink, clink, and like with each one builds up this like? Yeah, but it builds up this like, there's nerves, there's excitement, there's fear, there's likeBrad Crowell 22:03  It's true. The anticipation. Lesley Logan 22:04  The anticipation. Like, when are we at the top?Brad Crowell 22:06  I wonder if that's on purpose? I mean, I know it's the mechanics of the thing. (inaudible)Lesley Logan 22:11  I think the new ones do it just for the fuck of it. I don't think they actually make those noises. But the old ones make those noises. Right. And so, but I find that everything we do, I feel like I am going, my arms up. And I'm just like, here we go. I have no idea where this roller coaster is going and I say all that because I don't ever actually feel ready. But I also know that I can't go back. Like I know too much. You know what I mean? Like I, I have this idea. I have this goal. I have this thing I have to I have to see it out. And so I actually feel uncomfortable trying things like, you know this for me, like, how annoying was I when I was like we needed this podcast and it's fine. And you're like, No, we have to wait another year. And like we need this podcast, like I just could not let it go. Because I had to do it. Because I had this idea I was being I could see how it could work. And I was scared as fuck. But I had to do those things. And so I find like that the simple way of thinking of readiness is a decision versus like a state of being is really, really unique and a great way to summarize things. And I hope that everyone listening to this goes, Okay. Make a fucking decision. Like even if you decide not to do something, that's fine, but the state of like being in between and waffling is really uncomfortable and very stressful. I'm sure you were very stressed out trying to decide if you should date me or not. I know because you called me to talk about it after you broke up with me. Anyways, we should move on to what you liked.Brad Crowell 23:47  Okay, so one thing I thought was really interesting was, Jake was talking about happiness, and the state of happiness and the pursuit of happiness, and how it's kind of a shallow, shallow goal. And I kind of wanted to talk about that a little more, because there's one thing specifically that resonated with me. First off, he's like, he's, he talks about how happiness is is kind of short-lived. It's a moment. And it's, it's not like an ongoing state. You know, and so that's why, when we like we can trick ourselves into feeling happy by achieving a goal. And then we turn into a goal, like, driven. It's a goal-driven society that we live in already. But if you're like, allowing yourself to hit a goal, which is a good thing, not not not a bad thing, but when you hit a goal, we feel good but then what we go like you and I are workaholics. And by nature, it's just how we are. And we never leave ourselves time between what we just did. And the next thing to appreciate what we just did. So we feel happy for like, just a brief moment. And then we're like back to the grindstone because we got another goal we have to hit over the next hill.Lesley Logan 25:18  I don't love workaholic. And I also don't totally agree with all of that. But I do understand that we could celebrate, we could spend more time celebrating more. Yes.Brad Crowell 25:26  Yeah. But But Well, that's not my point. My point is that if we, if our life turns into goal to goal to goal to goal to goal, and you know, then we're constantly driving ourselves, you know, to hit that goal, where, and that and that ultimately, like, you know, ultimately, that's not sustainable. It leads to depression. You know, it leads it leads to you, judging yourself beating yourself up, right. And soLesley Logan 25:54  I definitely feel like in 2020, when we did like three Agency Minis, that's the only time we've ever done three in a year, I felt like, okay, we are not sitting in the moment of celebrating what is happening. And we are putting ourselves through too much. And I think sometimes you have to almost some people might have to do too much to understand where that line is. And like and to really understand like, oh, okay, that's more than I can handle. Now. Let me take a step back. And I agree, like you have to celebrate those moments. Otherwise, you just what are you doing it for?Brad Crowell 26:27  Yeah, yeah. Well, well. You know, I just thought it was interesting, to, you know, I grew up with, I grew up in the church, and they talked a lot about this idea of contentedness. Right. And I always thought it was a little cheesy. And I always thought it was like, you know, it was an opportunity for people to to slack off and, and call that normal, like, oh, I'm being content, but I'm not actually doing anything. Right. And so I think that's like, the wrong way to look at that first off, like today, but I also think that like, let's like a completely other side of the coin, where it's like, you're going from goal to goal to goal to goal to goal, or you're like doing nothing. Those are like the two extremes. I wonder if there's a way that we could marry the two, you know, like, it'd be meet in the middle. AndLesley Logan 27:16  I think you're calling me and I look for balance. And we already know that that's not real. But I also I do I remember the church, I remember like people saying you're never content. And I remember going, why the fuck should I be? This is not good enough. And I think like, I think contentment is something that you get to define what that is, and it's absolutely fucking okay, if what you're in right now is not something you want to be content with. However, if you are not ever taken a moment to give your like, reflect back on what you have fucking done. You are, you are going to burn out. Right. But I do. I do think like, Brad Crowell 27:59  I don't think I have the answer for this. Lesley Logan 28:01  I know. I don't. I don't think it's I think it's individual. But I do understand I hate like, I just want to be happy. Well, yeah, I feel like that's a decision too I feel like just like, I feel like happiness is a decision you can be I have we have when we were in LA, I met many a happy homeless person. I'm, being really honest. Not everyone. But there was some people who were like, truly kind and nice.Brad Crowell 28:25  I wonder, I wonder if we could amend. If we had a further conversation with Jake, maybe we would amend that statement, that happiness is fleeting, maybe its goal, like, say achieving goals is fleeting, right? And the happiness is where you what you can find between the goals? (Lesley: Well, I think I love your bringing this up.) You know, the idea of chasing rainbows. And, you know, not that like rainbows are I mean, I don't know if I agree with that. Because rainbows, you'll never actually catch them. (Lesley: No we try, we catched one, we did.) We did, we actually went under one we're like we did, it's gone. Lesley Logan 28:56  It's gone. We're like I was trying to film it. It was like, I don't know what crazy but I actually, you know, here's the thing. Remember, we had James Patrick on and he was talking about how the goal cannot be I get a magazine cover. The goal has to be the actions that I take that I have control over. And I think most people's goals, including what they define as happiness, have way too much to do with things they have no control over. And that's why it's shallow. Or maybe that's not the best word but fleeting. Brad Crowell 29:34  Well, even if you achieve it, like you know, like, like, you know, I want to get whatever it is in your life, whether it's a business move you're making or a car you need to buy or a school you want to go to or whatever, you know, like you did it you got that, you know, and then the most what we're taught as a society is like (Lesley: What's next?) What's next and that's I think, oh is the issue. That's where it's the quote-unquote chasing rainbows. Just jumping from goal to goal to goal. Lesley Logan 30:01  Every woman listening to this understands this because it's like, oh, you're dating when are you getting married? (Brad: Oh, right. Oh, congratulations when are you having kids? - inaudible - Oh, I need this.) Oh my, you know what I loved so much. When we bought this house, we actually, talk about fleeting. We literally fucking sign way too many papers you guys and then got on a flight at two in the fucking morning. So not even eight hours later, from signing the papers on this house, we got on a plane to go to Korea. And thank God for our amazing co-workers and friends. They're not like they're just colleagues, actually, they all made a point to make sure they celebrated us buying our house, because we weren't at home to celebrate buying our house, you know, (Brad: We were gone for two more weeks.) I really just appreciated them all so much. I don't think that they even know the power of what that was. But just that every single day somebody there was like, oh my god, congratulations on your house like, and I just felt like that was so special. And so maybe we can actually do is it's really hard to like take to like understand yourself and your celebration. But what if the people around you, you help them celebrate their, what they achieved more. And even later, even a week after? Hey, I saw this congratulations so that you can kind of help because if you do that for them, it's reciprocity. They're gonna do it for you, they're gonna realize how good it is. And again, I don't think happiness should ever be the fucking goal. I do go back to like, how can we be the best fucking person that we can ever be so that the people around us lives are better because we're in it. And, and that goes to like this book that he wrote, he wrote this book to help people based on what he experienced in his life and what he learned. So you could pay that forward. And I think that that's like whether you read a book, whether you're a teacher, whether you're a parent, whatever, we're all actually just trying to leave, I hope, I don't know. But I like to think that you're listening this podcast, you're all we're all trying to leave this world a better place than we found it. And that's a fucking great goal, rather than happiness being the goal. Anyways, I guess we like pontificated a little bit. Okay, that's what the recap's for. Brad Crowell 31:11  Stick around. Brad Crowell 31:55  Alright, so finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executed, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Jacob Kauffman? So okay, so ironically, we talked about goals. But we didn't talk about the the achievement of goals. Instead, we talked about the challenge of the work that you do to achieve the goal, right. So double your goals is what Jake was talking about. So, you know, he said, if you have a goal, write it down, and then double it. So if you if it's monetary or quantitative, you can literally just put times two, if it is time-sensitive, cut the time in half. And challenge yourself because he said we often set safe goals for ourselves, as well. And the safe goal would be like, Oh, I think I'm gonna write a book in five years. Yeah. Right. And he's like, what if you did it in two and a half? Or what if you did it instead of 12 months? You did it in six months? Right? And I thought that was cool. Because, you know, not that it's not that we want to focus on only the achievement of the goal, although we do believe in celebrating your wins and achieving a goal is a win. But in this case, what we're talking about is challenging yourself with the actions that you're taking. And, you know, he said that most people set goals that are you know, we we'd be surprised of what we can do if we actually pushed ourselves.Lesley Logan 35:05  Yeah, yeah, I think I actually really enjoyed like cutting the time in half or, or doubling the goal. You know, I think I talked about this with an episode is coming out soon with Michael and broke and we brought him back. He has a massive goal of having 10 New York Times bestsellers. That's a massive, it's a massive goal. And he definitely has not cut the time in half. But I would say he, that's a fucking huge goal that like really challenges him to be a different person. But it made me think of and her name is escaping me still. And I think you could help me. Remember the woman who we had on the pod and a webinar who wanted to do like the bold like bodacious, like not bodacious, probably the bat like, like the bigger than God goals like that was her whole thing. Do you remember her? Joanna Vargas refer to her and Halina as it's like, it's a beautiful name, and I can't think of her name. But she, she talks about having these goals that are so beyond what you actually could figure out on your own, so that the universe actually has to step in and meet you with your preparation. And I really fucking I think this is what that makes me think of. Because sometimes we work with people all the time. They're like, I want to make $30,000. And look, there's nothing fucking wrong with you if you want to make $30,000. But when you're paying me 10% of that, I want you to make a little bit more because I know what taxes are. I know what costs are. So I think sometimes we play small because we want to actually hit the goal. And if we forget that, like the journey along the way, like if you set a goal for 60,000, and you make 45, it's still fucking amazing. Because what you had to become to do that is way bigger than the person who had it make 30,000.Brad Crowell 36:48  Yeah, it really pushes you and I think one more comment about this. Jake said to write these down, first off, what is your goal than double your goal? And he said, also write down. This is the action that you're going to take. And the reasoning behind it. Why do I want this goal? Answer the question. What will this enable or empower me to do? And then only then how am I going to get done? Yeah. Right. So that's,Lesley Logan 37:18  I do like the how being after the why, and what will those will enable me to do? So. Now,Brad Crowell 37:24  there was one more step and I thought it was Yeah, it's really poignant. Lesley Logan 37:27  Yeah, this is mine. You're going to make a contract with yourself. Yep, you go, you're actually gonna write down I, then your name, am officially unavailable for any other outcome. And then you sign it, and you date it. And then by when you will accomplish it. So that you're solidifying the commitment and ensuring accountability. This clear intention and timeline will help and I think this is actually really cool. Because even, you guys, even if you fucking miss your deadline, if you were actually taking the steps to get there on time, you fucking won anyways, like, deadlines have to get moved all the fucking time. But if you are moving the deadline, because you actually would take any actions, but you just need more time. And you didn't know it or whatever, that's fine. If you're moving if you keep hitting the 10th deadline, because you didn't actually take the actions. That means you didn't really want it anyways. Like that's you're procrastinating for a reason.Brad Crowell 38:21  Yeah. So I think there's something really interesting about the idea of making a commitment to yourself making a contract with yourself. Because it levels it up, it takes it to it puts you in a position where you take it more seriously. And I think it's really easy for us to be like, if I don't tell anybody about it. Or if I don't write it down, (Lesley: If I keep it to myself) then no one will know. If I fail (Lesley: no one will know) it doesn't really matter anyway. Lesley Logan 38:55  And like, it's fine. Because no, you know, it's okay. Like, it's okay, if it doesn't happen, like the stories you fucking tell yourself.Brad Crowell 39:01   Right. Or, you know what, I really needed to take care of my kids. And so they take precedence over me. You know, whatever it is. (Lesley: That could be true.) Well, no, of course it's true. But it becomes it can become like the life can become an excuse. Oh, yeah. You don't look at your, your goals or your thing as as something that actually needs to be done. And so when you make a contract with yourself, or a commitment to yourself that's that's a whole nother level to you know.Lesley Logan 39:34  Yeah, you are so right. I've met many an amazing woman who has children and shit going on, and other shit going on. And they still make their things happen. It's not because they have more money than you. It's not because they had better luck on their side. It's because they literally were like, I'm going to just get up I'm going to write for fucking five minutes like we interviewed somebody who like, literally got up at 4am to write for one hour before everyone started waking up because (inaudible)Brad Crowell 40:04  I don't even like the idea of like, oh, just like, like, you know, just get up, the people get up at 5am. And they only wants to succeed (inaudible) But I think I think thatLesley Logan 40:14  No. My point is that they prioritize their goal, even with all the shit.Brad Crowell 40:18  Yes. And that's, that's I agree, I agree. And that's it.Lesley Logan 40:21  You could also stay up one hour later or you could do it on your lunch break. Or remember we interviewed what's her name Kim, who would go into work and she'd write for 15 minutes on her book before she start her work day. Like, it's just about like, okay, it's, it doesn't have to, it doesn't be perfect. I think that too often, we're waiting for perfect circumstances to work on the goal. And that will never ever happen. The stars are never going to align in this perfect, amazing space. Because what's gonna happen like, Oh, my God, I'm just gonna lay down and take a nap. I'm so tired. So it's just about going okay, I only have five minutes. I'm going to work on this thing that I truly want for myself for five minutes.Brad Crowell 41:01  Yeah, and I think the consistency of it. You know that you'll you'll make the decision to be consistent on it when you level up your commitment. And that contract is really helpful.Lesley Logan 41:13  I'm Lesley Logan and I'm Brad Crowell. Thank you so much for listening to us. We are so grateful for you. I can't believe it. What happened it's (inaudible) holy fucking moly. This is brilliant. We would never be here if it wasn't for your ears and your comments and your views and your awesomeness. So thank you so very much. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Are you gonna write that contract we want to know and send us in your questions or your conflict resolution wonders, and we will answer on the next podcast. Until then be it till you see it. Brad Crowell 41:18  Bye for now.Lesley Logan 41:18  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network.Brad Crowell 41:36  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 41:38  It is produced, edited by the epic team at Disenyo.Brad Crowell 41:39  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 41:41  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions. Brad Crowell 41:44  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.  Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Lesley and Jake engage in a meaningful conversation about the intricate facets of healing, the evolution of identity, and the profound influence of societal pressures on men's mental well-being. Gain insight into the hidden implications of perfectionism as it frequently conceals deeper underlying issues, hindering the path to genuine healing.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co . And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:How to navigate the layers of healing from trauma. The importance of unlearning negative patterns.The link between societal pressures in mental health.How to embrace readiness as a conscious decision.How to avoid the trap of constantly chasing happiness as a goal.Episode References/Links:Follow Jake on IG: @iamjakekauffman Follow Jake on X (formerly known as Twitter): @iamjakekauffman Follow Jake on FBCheck out Jake's website Awake With JakeLet Love InThe War of ArtGuest Bio:Jake Kauffman is an International Men's Transformation Coach & Spiritual Mentor to purpose driven, visionary men & entrepreneurs who are seeking to grow in their life & leadership. He has supported hundreds of men to thrive and reach the next-level in all areas of life, business & relationship. His mission is to help men radically heal & transform so that they can achieve their full potential and fulfill their purpose.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.Get your free Athletic Greens 1 year supply of Vitamin D3+K2 and 5 free travel packsGet your discount for some Toe Sox using the code: LESLEYBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar ResourcesWatch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable PilatesSocial MediaInstagramFacebookLinkedInEpisode Transcript:Jake Kauffman 0:00  In the process of creating art, we're forced to confront the unhealed, unintegrated, unreconciled parts of ourselves in order to create authentic art because it's really about coming back into a relationship with who we are authentically. And that's what is at the forefront of my work with men so that they can go from this identity that is focused on getting paid and getting laid to, like, their divine purpose, their higher purpose, their mission in life that is always bigger than the individual and is always meant to outlast the individual.Lesley Logan 0:00  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Hi, Be It, babe. All right, we have a really awesome guest today, I'm really excited about it because I just finished talking to him. So we had Keri Ford on earlier this year, and she was a phenomenal somatic coach for women. And she was asking me if I wanted to if I thought that her partner would be a great fit for you guys. And I heard about his book, I heard what he does, and I was like, absolutely, actually need to talk about this. Because I think first of all, even though you will hear him say he's a men's transformational coach, a lot of what we talked about is our perfectionism and why some of us would use perfectionism in our life for procrastination. So please take a listen for the lens of like, what, how am I using that in my life and, and what is that like, and then holy fucking molly, like holy fucking molly, the Be It Action Items at the end. I've already, I wrote them down after the whole interview was over so that I could use them right away. They're very action-oriented, easy to use, and apply right away. And so you definitely want to stick all the way to the end. So I guess Jacob Kauffman, he is the author of Let Love In. And I just wanna say thank you to Jacob for being here. Thank you for sharing his story. And also, thank you, for you listening. We bring in different guests all the time. Because I know that sometimes I can hear something from one person. And it can be like, the thing that I knew that day, and you can hear it and it could be the thing you needed yesterday, next week for a friend. And then we have another person come on, and they say something a little bit differently about the same thing. And it can just start to help peel back the layers that help us eventually be it till we see it because being until you see it is not easy. It is not something that like you just decide. And like it happens, no problem every single day. It is a decision you have to make every single day over and over and over again. Because it's actually kind of easy to not be it until we see it to just wait and like let things happen to us. So anyways, Jacob Kauffman. Thank you for being the guest. Here he is. And please let me know if you use his Be It Action Items. All right, Be It babe, I got a special guest.I mean, they're all special. But this one is actually a very special person to a wonderful friend of mine who's been on the show, and he loved her episode very much. So Keri Ford, it was like you, if you if you like me, you'll probably like this person. And maybe we'll be able to spill some shine some light of love for all of us here. SoWe have Jacob Kauffman in the house. And you are a newly published author, sir, can you tell everyone who you are and what you're rockin' at?Jake Kauffman 2:42  I can absolutely do that. Thanks again for having me. It's a pleasure to be here. So my name is Jacob Kauffman. Like you already mentioned. I'm a men's transformation coach, spiritual mentor, business mentor, and author. And I just recently released my first book, it's called Let love In: the Pain Stops When the Truth Starts. And the focus of my work, especially with men is just that is coming into relationship with their deepest truth, their highest, most authentic self, to bring more of their unique essence forward in the world and their mission.Lesley Logan 3:16  Yeah, I mean, that's a big feat. That's not a small task. So I guess like, where we should start is like, kind of what made you want to start doing this? Like, I mean, is this something you grew up wanting to do? Is it something that kind of found you like, how did you get to doing this? What made you write this book?Jake Kauffman 3:39  Oh, man, that's, that's really good question. The short story is, you know, I very much believe in what Dickens said that our calling is our curse. It's the thing that we can't not do. And so for me, in many respects, that was this book. I never, I always knew that I was going to write a book that I wanted to write a book. I think everybody has a book in them personally speaking. It's just a question of whether or not we actually get around to writing it. But, you know, for me, I didn't seek out this story. This story absolutely found me because, just a backstory, where the book kind of starts is me sharing my story of sexual abuse on social media online. And having this full-body panic attack that resulted in what is clinically referred to as an acute nervous system breakdown. So my nervous system just collapsed. Under the weight of all of the connections, that sharing created, the input was just too much. And it overrided my system. And it created a slew of health problems. I mean, immediately, I started to vomit uncontrollably, cry uncontrollably, nausea, vertigo, all the things. Lesley Logan 5:02  And this is like, hold on. So what did you, when you went to the doctor, is this what they diagnosed you with? Or is this something you had to like figure out? I feel like that could also be like, they'd be like, did you eat something, Jacob? (inaudible)Jake Kauffman 5:17  Yeah, no, absolutely. I didn't actually go to a clinical doctor, I went to a psychotherapist. Because I knew on some intrinsic level that what I was experiencing was mental, emotional. And so I went to that type of clinician and sought that counsel, and they started going through with me, okay. You were abused? How did that impact you? How did that affect you? Not just at the time of the incident, but after the incident as well, as you can probably imagine, so my abuse as is with most of you, it's very multifaceted, right? There's what happened before leading up to it, there's what happened, there's what was going on around you when it happened. And then there's what happened after the fact. You know, did you ever experience any proper mirroring around this incredibly painful experience? And for me, and for a lot of people, the answer was no. And so because of that, as you can probably imagine, one of my primary coping mechanisms was to pretend as if I was fine, as if I was okay and had it all together, when in fact, inside I was shattered. Because of what happened, I was humiliated, I felt so much shame and embarrassment, and all these other things, bitterness, resentment, and I just continued to carry those things around with me. Unfortunately, after that incident, depth of connection, love, intimacy fundamentally felt unsafe. And so when I got around to sharing my story on social media, the amount of connection that I experienced the amount of intimacy, because now everyone on the internet knows my deepest, darkest, most shameful secret. It just was too much too soon, too fast, and was arguably traumatic in and of itself. And it forced me as you can imagine, to do significantly deeper work on myself, because here I am thinking, Oh, I've really worked through this experience. I'm a coach, and I'm coaching a lot of people. And, you know, I've done a ton of work on myself, I've gone through therapy around, you know, this particular incident. And I feel comfortable sharing that with the world to do so, for other people's benefits, so that they can, you know, feel permission to step into their healing journey, learn whatever lessons they can, from my experience, and what I did to work through it, etc, etc. And here I am confronted by the need for significantly deeper healing, it was very humbling. Yeah. And so that's what, that's what prompted the book, because my therapist was like, You should really journal about what's coming up for you, I think that would be very beneficial. And I was like, good idea.Lesley Logan 8:05  So that's what you did. Yeah.Jake Kauffman 8:07  That's what I did. And it became a book. Lesley Logan 8:08  Yeah. I, first of all, like, thank you for sharing that. Because I think a lot of people probably have shared things thinking they are ready to. And then like, there's, you know, social media is such an interesting thing, right? Because I think we can, like learn so much. And I do think it's a great place to share something like I recently had something dramatic happened, and I was so angry about it that I was like, Where can I take this? I'm gonna take it Instagram, and I'm gonna, I'm gonna share it. And he said no, at all levels, I'm measuring my thing to what you said. But I remember then having all the comments coming through. And I was like, Whoa, I actually don't know that I was ready to like, they were all supportive. Everything was really great. But it was almost like, I actually not processed with this thing yet. And now, (Jake Kauffman: Right, right.) And I'm reading all this stuff. And while helpful, it's overwhelming. And so I guess like, because I don't think that the whole stuff we're not saying here is like, don't share, but like, what are some things that maybe you'd wish you'd gone through prior to to just feel a bit more prepared for that? Or what are some takeaways that we could have? Or do? Is that something you have? Or is that like, on a personal level, everyone's got to do their own thing? And then like, know, the signs that you may be you're overloaded and you need a therapist?Jake Kauffman 9:27  Yeah, well, what I experienced is in clinically speaking is called flooding. It's just too much too soon, too fast. And that is in and of itself traumatic. And so it's very difficult to tell because the majority of what holds us back is unconscious. (Lesley: Right.) The primary goal of the ego is to maintain the status quo and what's the best way for it to do that it's to hide the truth from you. So how does that manifest itself, it typically manifests itself as people downplaying what has happened to them, and how it actually impacted them. We now know that trauma is significantly more about what happened inside of you as a result of what happened to you, as opposed to what actually happened. So it's how you internalized it the stories and the beliefs that you made up about yourself as a result. But I think my biggest lesson is that healing happens in layers, as much as I thought I was speaking from the place of perspective. And in many ways I was, over the years, I've gone back, and I've read that post several times, as you can probably imagine, it's been almost five years now. And I still look at that. And I'm like, you can tell, by the way I talked about it that I've done some work on on myself. And I've, I've reconciled it to a degree. But clearly, there was more work left to be done there. And it really just revealed a need for deeper healing. And I think life inherently is three steps forward, two steps back, just like entrepreneurship, which you know full well. And so I don't think there's any one answer with regard to people's overall experience, especially when it comes to their healing journey, because it's inherently messy.Lesley Logan 11:29  Yeah. Which is like for every single person listening to this, they're either a recovery in recoveries perfectionist, or they are one. And so like, messy is not something that feels right.Jake Kauffman 11:43  Right. Yeah. Well, perfectionism is just a coping strategy. It's just a survival strategy. Just like, what I was doing acting, acting as if I was fine acting as if I was successful, even acting as if I was vulnerable, when in reality, it was a way in which I control the level of connection and relationship. All of these different things are just masks, right, different aspects of our personality that are actually born out of pain, or in an attempt to prevent pain, and so, until we work through these things until we fully reconcile the past, what are we going to do, we're going to inevitably end up recycling it in the present moment and projecting it onto other people. So if you're struggling with perfectionism, there's because you're also talking to a recovering perfectionist. Yeah. BecauseLesley Logan 12:42  Well, right. Yeah. Welcome to the meeting. Did you know it was today?  Jake Kauffman 12:45  Right. Totally. Yeah. Because I mean, I don't know about you, but like, I grew up in an emotionally unsafe environment. And so perfectionism, and procrastination kind of became a way by which I coped because no child is safe to feel that they are unsafe. So they need to develop very advanced coping mechanisms in order to avoid feeling that way. And so if you're still dealing with that, and this isn't a judgment on anyone, it's more so just an observation. But if that's still a significant struggle in your life, that's likely a sign that you haven't reconciled some things from the past. Because in my experience, the more you do this work, the less you struggle with those things over time. And obviously, the path is never linear, it is very much, you know, up and down. And, you know, falling down is kind of an inherent part of learning how to walk. Same thing is true for healing, you know, or addiction relapsing is kind of a part of it. You know, any sponsor would tell you that if you've ever been through any type of 12-STEP program, and I think that's true for healing as well, that regressing is just a natural part of it. But if it's really consistent, still, for you, awareness is only going to take you so far. It's one thing to uncover something it's a totally other thing to undo it.Lesley Logan 14:09  Yeah, I know. It's a, it's, it's almost like you have to like hit, you know, you have to hit Publish before it's like, knowing that it's full of mistakes, and just like not like you just have to do the thing, you have to take those actions and it's a little hard. I am I also think that like, you know, with with all those things, it's like, recognizing when it's happening, and then also trying to shorten the timeframe of which that thing is happening. So like, how long are you going to live in in the thing, the forcing something to be perfect? Is it can you get over it faster? And like, also, it's so hard to not judge ourselves along the healing journey. Did you find like, and maybe this is in your book, and you explain this a lot with the people you work with, but like, do you find that like, there was a hard part of like letting yourself be in that process? Because if you'd thought you'd healed and then you went to this one thing, I'm sure that there was some judgment towards yourself or some wondering like, where did I miss this?Jake Kauffman 15:06  Oh, totally, like making up stories about like, Is there something wrong with me? Or, you know, am I actually as far along as I think I am, you know, all of these different things that come up for us whenever we experience something painful or uncomfortable. Or, you know, a tragedy or fail? Yeah, you know, it's only natural that those things come up. I think. I think those things are there to teach us something, though. Because it's not those stories that are the issue, it's typically how we react or respond to those things. Because those stories create an emotional response and that emotional response leads to actions and decisions. So it's not the stories that are the issue, it's acting from the space of those stories. That's the issue. The problem is we get like stuck there. Right? We self identify with those stories. We make it personal. And then we get stuck in the space of whatever emotions come on the back end of it self-judgment, which oftentimes leads to sadness or frustration, right. And then we just kind of get lost in the sauce, right? We don't take inspired action, we have a we have difficulty tapping into creativity, for example, inspiration. And so because of that, we have a really hard time progressing, because there's this inherent amount of internal resistance that's holding us back because of the emotions that are attached to the stories that, you know, we're kind of consistently feeding, rather than, than then seeking to simply understand better.Lesley Logan 17:02  Yeah, I remember about a year ago, I got into a situation on a phone call with family member and I was so angry, and I immediately email my therapist. I was like, I need an emergency meeting this week. Here's what happened. Do you have any time this week and she got on the call with me. And she's like, it's actually okay, you got angry. And I was like, Oh, that is okay, but I got angry. That thing they said, made me angry. I'm allowed to be angry. She said, what's not okay is that you judge yourself for being angry. And I was like, ah, oh, thank you. That's where the work. I still work there. Thank you for that.Jake Kauffman 17:36  Yeah, you're like five minutes. I'm good. I'm relieved for an hour. You can get off now.Lesley Logan 17:40  Thanks. Go to your next client. Thanks for the reminder. But it's just so funny because we can we can get stuck in the like the for me it was like the perfection I shouldn't have somehow been able I should not have reacted is like the thought that I told myself like, I should be so healed with that, that I won't even react when they say something. It's infuriating. No, you're allowed to be infuriated. Say something if your (inaudible).Jake Kauffman 18:04  Totally. Yeah, I mean, but the problem is nobody ever taught us how to be angry. Lesley Logan 18:10  Yeah. So I guess like, let's talk about when you decided to write this book. And you are I'm in transformation coach, like, what? What does that actually even mean? Let's, yeah, if someone's listening, like what does that mean? What do you do? And because we have a lot of listeners who are mostly women, but they obviously have men in their lives, and I'm sure they're they're doing their work, and they're wishing their partners or their friends or family members had done their own. So what is that? Yeah. Well, it's a complete undoing, as you can probably imagine. You know, in the first half of life, we fight the devil, in the second half of life, we fight God.Jake Kauffman 18:56  So let me use a client as an example that I spoke with today. Very driven, very assertive, he's a doctor, very ambitious. But in and through our work together, it became very clear that the unconscious motivation beneath his drive was to prove to himself and to other people that he was not his dad. So his stance his primary stance is to be against, is to be in opposition to something and that's what I mean by that when I say fight the devil. Right, whatever that thing is, right? You're trying to prove to yourself or prove to someone else that you are not this or you are not that. It's called the false self that we all develop when we're kids who we think we need to be in order to be loved, accepted and successful. Which is in response to pain or in order to prevent pain from happening. That has to come undone. In order for us to truly live out our unique purpose it has to, because it's not who we truly are, it's who we think we need to be again, right. And so it puts us at odds within ourselves, because we're not acting from our authentic nature. We're simply playing a role we're playing a part, we have something to prove, we have something to protect. For me, I had something to protect, I never wanted to be abused again, I never wanted to be taken advantage of or humiliated in that way ever again. For my client, he had something to prove that he was not his dad. And so of course, what ends up happening, if that's your stance, it just continues to follow you around. And people create an incredible amount of success from this space. But they don't know peace. They don't know, ease because what's driving in many ways, their behavior. It's ultimately avoidance. And so that becomes the fuel by which people, a lot of people, especially men rely upon in an attempt to succeed. But it's kind of like, gasoline. Gasoline is a great fuel. It burns hot. It's very explosive, but it goes out fast. And so you have more men who are depressed more than ever before? Yeah. More men who report and this is actually true for both men and women. I'm simply saying this from the perspective of being a men's coach, you have more men struggling with anxiety, and on anti-anxiety medication than ever before? Because that's what happens when you live in a society that is bent on performance. And what does that what does that end up doing? It tease you up for a life of performance, which creates a pressure cooker. So what do you do? You suppress the less-than-desirable qualities or characteristics about yourself and you posture and you position, you bolster the more than ideal qualities and characteristics about yourself that but that puts us at odds within ourselves.Lesley Logan 22:43  Yeah, yeah, I just interviewed somebody on like, like, off like true, like masculine and feminine energy and how we all have both. And then, if you have, if you're a couple, there's four energies in there, there's, it's different, how many, how much you lean into one versus the other. And it's fascinating because like, you can see, because our society is like, just so much on performance, which Be It would consider a masculine energy. But there's so much of it, that no one's actually being taught to cherish any of the emotions that they have, or how to handle them or to do them. And so because no one's actually learning that from a childhood perspective, you don't find this out. If you write if you had all cry, if you had all failure feelings, like that's considered less than so no one is doing this. And we find out that like, Hmm, not many people are happy. A lot of men today don't really actually know who they are what they want to do. There's a lot because it you said it, it's like, it's because we're not because we're so much in it, but we're not we don't actually understand how to use it as a tool. For ourselves. We're just using it as a, as a prevention from like, feeling the things we don't want to feel or for for people to not see through and not see the pain or not see the weaknesses there. It's very fascinating to me, so. I went into your book, you just published it recently. So it's out and available. What was that process like? Because obviously, if it is what you're journaling, like, now you're sharing those things again.Jake Kauffman 24:12  Totally. Yeah, it was.Lesley Logan 24:14  What was that process like? And how did you like, do it because we've, you know, writing a book is not no small feat that's really emotional, especially when it's part of your story. It's not like a business book. I feel it'd be really easy, but (inaudible) book is gonna be harder.Jake Kauffman 24:29  Yeah, absolutely. I mean, the common joke in the industry is that I can't wait for this book to make a ton of money so that I can go spend it all on therapy. But yeah, it's The War of Art. You know, that Steven Pressfield wrote a book about which is the fact that in the process of creating art, we're forced to confront the unhealed, unintegrated, unreconciled parts of ourselves in order to create authentic art, because it's really about coming back into a relationship with who we are authentically. And that's what is at the forefront of my work with men so that they can go from this identity that is focused on getting paid and getting laid to, like, their divine purpose, their higher purpose, their mission in life that is always bigger than the individual, and is always meant to outlast the individual. And that's, like the process of what my book was writing it was like, there was a lot of procrastination involved. And so you know, in the spirit of, in the spirit of, you know, see it to believe it, yeah, I had to print off this picture, I'd got the cover designed, and well before the book was finished, and printed it off and put it next to my desk to, like, motivate me. And along with statistics of how many men are abused every year, less than 1% of men actually ever report their abuse, by the way. So these statistics really reminded me that this book is not about me. It's not meant, for me, it's meant for other people. Right? It's about the message. And it's about what it can do for other people. To support them in their healing journey. That's what this book is for.Lesley Logan 26:28  Yeah. Yeah, I thank you for sharing that story, how you got to because I feel like so many people are waiting until this like, perfect moment of when it's gonna feel easy. And they're gonna feel ready to do the thing, and it's like, I feel like ready to lie. And I can't imagine like, if you had waited till you're ready, this book probably still wouldn't be done. I feel like ready comes after the book is done. You're like, Okay, now I'm ready. I've already ended the hard part.Jake Kauffman 26:57  Well, I mean, the big thing in that in what you just said is most people confuse readiness for a state of being. Readiness is not a state of being. Readiness is a decision.Lesley Logan 27:09  Oh, I like that. We're going to rewind that, everyone, listen to that one more time.Jake Kauffman 27:13  Yeah, 100%. I'll say it again. Readiness is not a state of being. Readiness is a decision. And to decide literally means to cut off or cut away all other options. When I decided that I was going to write this book, I hired a book writing coach, I designed the cover well, before the book was finished, I printed it off, put it in a frame, it's up in my bedroom. Right? This was years ago. Like I mentioned well before the book was published. So I had massive skin in the game. Right, I invested thousands of dollars, I had someone holding me accountable, holding my feet to the fire. And even after that, I hired a book writing agency to support me with the rewrites and the editing process, and ultimately, the publication process. And so I had massive amounts of skin in the game, but also accountability, really supporting me in moving forward. Because if I was left to my own devices, there's no way I would have ever done it myself. I'm not saying that that's true for everybody, but it's true for a lot of people.Lesley Logan 28:20  I couldn't agree more like um, if you think about like, if you ever if you subscribe to Gretchen Reubens like, The Four Tendencies, like I am an upholder, I don't actually need a lot of accountability. I'm going to do the thing if I decided to do it. When I wrote my book, I, I almost didn't publish it. The person who helped like ghost write it and just like not go through this one word. She helped me outline it and like make sure it made cohesive sense. And all that stuff. I wrote it. But yeah, our contract is done. I had the whole thing. And like, I just got busy. And she was like two months afterwards. She was like, Hey, I haven't seen any movement on this. Like, what are you doing today? Oh, yeah. And she said, Look, I just really hope that you actually like it's a really good book, you should actually put it out there. And if she had not nudged me, I don't know that I would have put it out when I put it out. I probably would have eventually put it out, I probably would have waited till I was ready. Like I even as someone who can, like do pretty much anything without the accountability or something like that, that we're like, there's so much put into it. And there's a lot on the line. You kind of need some some skin in the game and you need an accountability. You just need someone to remind you that you're doing a great job and get it out there. It's gonna help people because we can tell ourselves a crazy amazing story about how it doesn't need to be out there yet.Jake Kauffman 29:32  Yep, you're a hunter, you're 100% spot on. And so in terms of you know, in the spirit of the podcast, you know, everything manifests first in, where, in our imagination. I always knew that I was going to write a book that positively impacted the lives of people. Now, I'm not taking any responsibility for that necessarily because you in many ways, like, I do feel like your higher purpose is kind of given to you or imparted to you, if you will, by you know, God, life, fate, the universe, whatever you want to call it. Going back to, you know, your your calling is your curse, it's the thing that you can't not do. And I think that's why most people die with regret is because they don't actually bring that or make that manifest. And so you really have to know yourself and know the conditions that are necessary for you in order to, to make that manifest. You know, for me, it was raising the bar on myself and growing into the person that I needed to be in order to reach it. And I think in many respects, that's true for a lot of us. I don't think everyone needs like, incredibly strict accountability necessarily, in some respects, that can actually do more harm than good. It can be counterproductive, you know, what's healthy and beneficial for one person can be detrimental to somebody else. But, you know, if we speak in general terms, I think that's what we kind of really need to do for ourselves in the process of engaging in the War of Art and making manifest our purpose is we're going to have we're going to have a point of no return experiences, and a point of no return experience is, you know, at the least not to get all, I think, not to get at all technical, is actually defined as a financial commitment toward the goal. Because there's your skin in the game. Right? Most people are really good at talking, you know, but more in action taking. And that's by design, because what we say is connected to our conscious mind, but what we actually do is connected to our unconscious. And that's, that's where I support a lot of my clients with is aligning their unconscious beliefs to match their conscious desires, because if they don't, there's going to be a lack of congruence there. And it's going to be a round peg for the whole situation. So when it comes to manifesting the life, the abundance, the relationship that you want, those two things have to be in alignment, you know, otherwise, you're just you're swimming upstream. And it's gonna be very, very difficult to bring into fruition bring into creation that which you deeply desire, whether it's a book or something else. Lesley Logan 32:34  Yeah. So I feel like once the book is out there, and like it's doing its thing. There's, like, are you are you currently working on like something else? Are you excited about the next step of something else? Or where are you enjoying the process of the book being out there and, uh, helping and getting through as many people as possible? Like, where are you at right now?Jake Kauffman 32:57  Sure, sure. Well, as somebody who identifies self identifies as an author, I do believe on some level that every author is always kind of writing their next book. Even if it's even if it's only in their head, yeah, I am doing that. Yes. I am not currently acting on it. I'm actually intentionally consciously restraining myself from doing that, because I really want to give this book its due diligence. Lesley Logan 33:33  I think thank you for sharing that. Because I think it's so easy. I know many people listening as a recovering overachievers, Hello, that's me, too. That's a meeting that's in the next hour. Yeah, it's like you go and you like, you hit the thing, you publish the book, or you, you do the race or you, whatever it is, and then you're like, on to the next goal. Like we don't actually like sit in the moment of like, the celebration of what you just did. It's a really big deal. And also like, you know, really give it its due diligence, to course to get it out there and in many people's because what's what people don't realize is you publish a book, it's not like the Field of Dreams is the biggest lie ever sold to every American on this planet. Anyone thought like, if you build it, they don't come you have to talk about it. 17 times and 18 more times and 17 more times, and then maybe on the 37th time they go, Oh, you wrote a book?Jake Kauffman 34:26  Oh, right. Yeah, totally. Yeah, well, I think you point out something really powerful, which is that in and of itself can actually be its own act of self-sabotage. You know, moving on to the next thing, because you have this high, this significant, pivotal moment, whether it's writing a book or whether it's, you know, accomplishing something significant in your career, and you move on to the next thing because he - Donek Adaptation kicks in, which is that our, we return to our baseline level of happiness which is determined by four primary things, 50% of it is genetics actually. The other 50% is based on attitude, outlook, and environment.Lesley Logan 35:24  That makes so much sense I get that.Jake Kauffman 35:26  Right. So we return to our baseline level of happiness. After the high, we have the come down. Right? Simply put, and oftentimes, people are really uncomfortable with what they find there. Because their life in many respects is the same. Right. Their circumstances might have adjusted slightly, whether it's like more money in the bank or more recognition. But how they feel internally is the same. So it's, it's just the same package, different bow, same song, different dance scenario, and people are forced to confront the reality of who they are and who they become in that moment. And so by moving on to the next thing, what do they get to do? (Lesley Logan: They get about the high end.) They get to avoid being in that space? Yeah. Right, because now they're chasing after the next thing, right? And that's where so many people find themselves nowadays is chasing after rainbows. So yeah, to answer your question, my goal is to absolutely give this book, you know, it's due prudence, it's time in the limelight, I think I said due diligence earlier, there wasn't the right phrase, but get it into the hands of as many people as possible. So that it can take on a life of its own, essentially, because this is going to outlive me. So this is like, this is not connected in many ways to me anymore, although like I wrote it, and my name is on it. But it is taking on a life of its own, I have people buying it in countries all over the world that I've never met, that I've never even spoken to. And whose lives that it's impacting. And I'm very humbled by that. And that's kind of the point, right, is that it takes on a life of its own and the people who read it, get what they need from it.Lesley Logan 37:29  Yeah, well, you said like, there's a there's part of our happiness is genetic. And then there's a three parts of it that like, it seems like if you are aware of them, and you actually sit with the thing that you just created, you can turn those dials in a way that the next time you have an amazing when we don't go back to baseline we go, we can keep growing, and creating the happiness that we want, without avoidance and just working towards the next thing all the time.Jake Kauffman 37:58  You're well, and I think I think happiness is kind of a shallow goal, to be honest with you. In the same way, you know, like, we've been sold this idea that, you know, if you build it, they will come which is like from a marketing perspective, nowadays, we know that like, that doesn't really work, you know, unless you've got like just a ton of cash that enable you to like float the business indefinitely. Well, enough word spreads and word of mouth takes over. You know, I think in many respects, happiness is kind of a shallow goal, I think we should strive for improvement. You know. And I think that's what ultimately creates this, this fulfillment, that we are working towards ever progressing towards a goal. And that's what I love, like the whole premise of this podcast, is because that's what it's all about, you're working towards something you're in pursuit of something that you have yet to accomplish. And it's really all about doing the internal work that you need to be able to bring that thing into reality. Because that's what that's what people struggle with the most. It's never like, the logistics. It's never like the circumstances of like, how do I write a book? Like, you can look up a YouTube video on how to do anything nowadays. You know, yeah, we literally write anything. You know, like, renovate a van. Here you go. Lesley Logan 39:37  Yeah, it's working guys. It's very helpful. Yeah, I think I really liked that you said that towards improvement. And I think like, I mean, it is why we have that we why, I mean, I've been being it till I see it, I just like kind of I didn't even know I was doing until I was like, what am I doing? How am I doing these things? Oh, I'm just doing that as a very interesting thing. I think like and there's a there's a difference between going, going going. And like, as you said, doing the internal work, so that you're improving. It reminds me of one of our guests from the end of the year. And he said every day he asked himself if like, he's 1% better, did he do the work that makes them 1% closer to the person he wants to be? And like, (Jake Kauffman: It's the Kaizen way.) Yeah, just like, and it's like, you know, 1% that's not a lot. So you're not you're not pushing yourself through a seaman while you're, you're actually like, you're doing some internal work to take some action. That's just enough to actually get the improvement but not so much that you're not sitting still and being with yourself at the same time. Jacob, you're so cool. I think this book is really awesome and needed. We're gonna take a brief break and then people can find out where they can follow you, get your book and also your Be It Action Items. Okay, Jacob, where can people get the book? Where can people work with you? Where can any of our male listeners or people who are listening to this to their male friends work with you?Jake Kauffman 41:00  So, the best place to connect with me is on my Instagram, which is I am JKauffman. So that's K-A-U-F-F-M-A-N. You can find the book on Amazon, Let Love In, my full name, Jacob Kauffman, J-A-C-O-B K-A-U-F-F-M-A-N. Otherwise, you can also check out my website. You can sign up for my newsletter, which is awakewithjake.com, awakewithJake. AndLesley Logan 41:28  I like it. I like Midtown.Jake Kauffman 41:30  Yeah, I think I'm gonna I think that might be the name of my podcast, but we'll see. Don't don't know. No, ETA on that yet. But stay tuned. And but yeah, if you're interested in connecting, hear more about my work that I do with my private clients in my mentorship, or the men's groups that I run, the retreats that I hold, by all means, feel free to reach out on Instagram happy to share about that. And what was the last thing? Lesley Logan 42:02  Well, the last thing now, the last thing is bold, executable, intrinsic target steps people can take to Be It Till They See It. What do you have for us?Jake Kauffman 42:09  So good. So I will oftentimes, I mean, in a lot of the work that I do with men, there oftentimes is almost a need to disconnect from their goals because they actually, they wake up to the reality that goals are, in many ways, historically speaking, an unconscious attempt in order to claim victory over a lack of self-worth. It's a way in which they avoid their pain so they become hypervigilant doers. That said.Lesley Logan 42:46  I think it's quite bold to say, to disconnect from those goals.Jake Kauffman 42:51  Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna give people two things, okay. Because there's nothing inherently wrong with having goals in many respects, we need to have them to create more purposeful living, here's what I would do, is if you have a goal, write that goal down on a piece of paper, and then double it. Because in my experience, we seriously underestimate our ability to generate results. So you know, if it's a monetary goal, double it easy. If it's 100,000, make it 200,000. If it's to write a book in the next year, cut it in half. And say, I'm going to write a book in the next I'm going to write a book in the next six months, some something like that, where you're doubling it, or you're shortening the timeframe, in an effort to push yourself or challenge yourself. And then you're going to write down these these following things. You're going to write down. Why do I want the goal? What will this enable me to do? And then how am I going to do it? That's your action plan. And then finally, you simply create a contract with yourself and you write down I and your name, am officially unavailable for any other outcome. And then you sign it and you date it. And then by when will you accomplish it.Lesley Logan 44:34  I love this. I'm saving this. I have a few things am working on on my tour for goals I have for myself that I was going to figure out while we're on on the road and I'm going to half the time or I'm going to double the thing Yeah, love it. I and then I'll write the contract.Jake Kauffman 44:49  There you go. So recap. The goal, by when you'll accomplish it, why do I want it, what am I hoping that this will do for me or allow me to do, how am I going to do it, and then I, your name, am officially unavailable for any other outcome, sign it and date it.Lesley Logan 45:09  Hmm. Oh, Jacob, thank you so much for being here sharing your story. And I'll just like really helping us rethink maybe some of the ways we think about some of the things we're doing in our life. I'm excited for your book. I'm so happy it's out there. I think it's very necessary. And I do believe it to be life-changing for many and also for these action items. I love them so much. I already know some of our listeners who are going to be using them. So y'all, how are you going to use these to make sure you tag Jake on Instagram, the Be It pod, let us know, share it with a friend who needs it. That is how people often get healed. I had a friend recently post something and she was going through and I was like, actually one of the words but I have a podcast and be really good for her. So I just sent it to her and she was so grateful. And so you know that you have no idea how you can help people with doing things like that. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network.Brad Crowell 45:57  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 45:57  It is produced, edited by the epic team at Disenyo. Brad Crowell 45:57  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music, and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 45:57  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals and Ximena Velazquez for our transcriptions. Brad Crowell 45:57  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all the content to our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time. Transcribed by https://otter.aiSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy