Simply Resilient Podcast

In this episode I'm teaching you a new tool I learned this summer from my coach called the 4 N's Tool. The 4 N's stand for: -Notice -Normalize -Neutralize -Next Thought This tool goes so well with the model and helps you with your daily self coaching. It's simple and powerful. Enjoy!

I decided that it was time to give you all a little snap shot on what's going on in my life these days! Enjoy!

In this episode I interview Lissa Figgins, military wife, mother of 3, and life coach specializing in time management. We cover some really important topics in this episode such as what happens when your service member comes home with PTSD, what to do, how to understand them, how to take care of yourself and be patient, and tons of words of encouragement if this is what you're going through. Enjoy!

Your words matter to you and today I'm telling you why. The words we say and think make a big difference in how we feel and the really exciting part is that making small changes in the words we use make a really big impact on how we feel. Enjoy!

In this episode we are using the analogy of lanes on the highway of life to know what's our responsibility and what isn't our responsibility. It's so important in our relationships to know what we're in charge of (our own emotions, thoughts, and actions) and what we're not in charge of (everyone else's emotions, thoughts, and actions). It can be so easy in our closest relationships to get these things tangled up and stray into other people's lanes. In this episode we talk about the cupcake concept, requests and boundaries, and ownership. Enjoy!

It is my pleasure to introduce you to Lizzie Merritt! She is a 20 year military wife and weight loss life coach and I'm thrilled that I had the opportunity to interview her on my podcast. We were able to discuss weight loss as it relates to military life and deployments as well as talk about what makes it hard and what makes it sustainable. One of my favorite nuggets from Lizzie is about being willing to lose weight imperfectly and about finding ways to feel good in order to maintain motivation. Lizzie also has an awesome podcast and a new book all about these topics. I know you are all going to love this episode. Enjoy!

Today we're talking about all things LOVE! Who doesn't love love? If you want to know more about how feeling love works in the model, then you're going to love this episode. We discuss what love is, what love isn't, loveability, unconditional love, our capacity for love, how we can love everyone in the equation including (and especially) ourselves and more! Are you a fan of Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages books like I am? Well in this episode, I discuss how to apply the cupcake concept to this incredible resource and tool in your tool belt to take it to the next level. I know you are going to LOVE it! Enjoy!

Today we're talking about momentum. Whether it be looking at momentum up close (the momentum of an hour or a specific project or your day) or from far away (the momentum of a week/month/year/season/deployment), leveraging the power momentum can be VERY useful. In this episode we look at the power of positive momentum and using if for our good and the detriment of negative momentum and using it against ourselves and how it can keep up stuck. After listening to this episode you'll be able to understand momentum, get unstuck easily, and finish strong. Enjoy!

In today's episode I am sharing a session with one of my clients who is a military girlfriend. This session took place about a year ago and was one of the first sessions that I ever had with this client. It's so much fun to share this part of her journey with you (with her permission and it was fun for she and I to go back and listen to this and celebrate how far she has come this year. She and her boyfriend (now fiance) recently got engaged and are getting married next year! In this session we talk about her new job, her relationship, trusting herself, boundaries, the cupcake, grace, and so much more. I love to include coaching session s on my podcast every once in awhile so that you can see the magic of coaching and using the model to manage your mind and examine your thoughts. Listen in and enjoy!

Raise your hand if you're a fan of those detective tv shows and movies where the expert detective is able to notice and pay attention to minute and seemingly insignificant details that are actually critical to solving the case

In this episode we are going deep on the first line of the CTFAR model, the Circumstance line. There are a few ways we talk and teach about the circumstance line that are very important, but today I take you even deeper into more intricate nuances of the circumstance line. I do this so that you can get even more out of the model and out of understanding your circumstances and learning to work with them. I know that you'll find this episode beneficial. Enjoy!

I'm thrilled to introduce you to my new friend Marika Humphreys! Here is her bio: Resiliency Coach and recovering perfectionist Marika Humphreys coaches people who have a partner with cancer. Five years as her husband's caregiver and primary emotional support as he battled cancer, Marika knows how challenging and exhausting it can be. She teaches her clients how to calm their mental and emotional turmoil and use this time as an opportunity to grow and become stronger than they thought possible. I know you will love listening to this interview as much as I loved making it. Enjoy!

As a life coach and on this podcast I talk a lot about how we can change the things in our control (our thoughts, attitude, mind set, story) to create more of the life we want to be living. Today I'm talking about another important aspect to thought work and the model which is just making room for your humanness and learning how to feel negative, indulgent, unproductive emotions. When we learn how to do this we learn to stop judging ourselves, stop resisting or running away from these emotions, and the whole experience becomes so much less intense and so much more human. I know you're going to love this episode. Enjoy!

In this episode we are talking about reintegration. The key is to focus on managing your mind and your emotions and giving your partner the space to work through their feelings without adding a lot of extra hurt/drama/pressure/stress by making the way they are behaving mean something about you. You are both going through this reintegration transition and it isn't easy, but when we give our partner the benefit of the doubt and focus on ourselves/our mental health/ our behavior rather than what you think they need to be doing so that you can feel better it goes so much better. There are so many excellent resources available on reintegration and I recommend you seek those out as well. My main message is this is a time that we get easily offended and hurt because we're so excited they are home and whether we want to or not we have expectations that are often not met. The visual I use is whenever you catch your finger pointing out at your partner (he isn't doing this, he won't stop doing this, I cant believe he blank, why won't he blank) then you know you are SUPER focused on him and ignoring you. The truth is that you both need to work through this. So if you're struggling during deployment then some of the problem is with you and some of the problem is with him which means that some of the solution is with you and some of the solution is with him. But if your finger is pointed at him and you are focused on him and his behavior and you are feeling hurt and resentful, then you are trapped in thinking the whole problem is with him and the whole solution is with him. The problem with that is it is not true and it makes us feel very out of control because we can't control him and make him change his behavior and "fix" the problems. I ask my clients to turn the finger around and focus on themselves and what is in their control. What you both need is time and love and space and grace to work through it in whatever ways you do that and that comes from focusing on the parts in your control which is you. Enjoy!

This summer I will be publishing my Summer How To Series which will be a series of mini-episodes addressing some topics that I know are on your mind and my client's minds. These shorter episodes will give you some quick, actionable, and deep tips and insights into things you are are struggling with or working on so that you can start making changes today! In this episode we are addressing the times in our lives when we are feeling heavy, weighed down, and drained. It's interesting to note that whatever we currently believe is making us feel so heavy (for example the responsibilities of motherhood) doesn't always make us feel heavy, it just is right now. This shows us that the thing isn't making us feel heavy, we are making us feel heavy. This is surprisingly great news because if we are the problem then we are the solution to the problem. Tune in to find out specific ways we drain ourselves and how to stop doing it. Enjoy!

This summer I will be publishing my Summer How To Series which will be a series of mini-episodes addressing some topics that I know are on your mind and my client's minds. These shorter episodes will give you some quick, actionable, and deep tips and insights into things you are are struggling with or working on so that you can start making changes today! In this episode we are talking about the super important topic of asking for help. This is a critical element of successful deployments where we are able to thrive instead of merely survive. For many reasons, asking for help can be so challenging. And yet, when we are solo parenting for an extended amount of time, like during a deployment, help is what we need. In this episode we discuss why it's hard to ask and some very specific things you can start doing today to have more success when it comes to asking for help and support. Enjoy!

This summer I will be publishing my Summer How To Series which will be a series of mini-episodes addressing some topics that I know are on your mind and my client's minds. These shorter episodes will give you some quick, actionable, and deep tips and insights into things you are are struggling with or working on so that you can start making changes today! In this episode we are talking about drama, how we create it, how we can decrease it, and how we will benefit in our lives when we do. I give you very specific ways that we create and exactly what you can start doing today to decrease the amount of drama that we are creating in our lives. I don't believe that we are meant to live a drama free life, we are humans and so are all of the people around us. Because of this, there will always be drama and that's ok. However, when we have extra and unnecessary amounts of drama in our lives it can really affect our relationships and our lives. Enjoy!

This summer I will be publishing my Summer How To Series which will be a series of mini-episodes addressing some topics that I know are on your mind and my client's minds. These shorter episodes will give you some quick, actionable, and deep tips and insights into things you are are struggling with or working on so that you can start making changes today! In this episode we are talking about the difference between being physically alone and feeling lonely. Sometimes, these two things go hand in hand, sometimes they do not. Sometimes we enjoy being alone, sometimes we do not. If you have to spend more time alone than you would like (and in the military that is the case), then you will want to listen to this episode. Enjoy!

This summer I will be publishing my Summer How To Series which will be a series of mini-episodes addressing some topics that I know are on your mind and my client's minds. These shorter episodes will give you some quick, actionable, and deep tips and insights into things you are are struggling with or working on so that you can start making changes today! In this episode we are talking about that ever enticing comparison trap. There are actually many ways we fall into this trap and once you understand what they are and why you're doing it, then you're in a perfect position to decrease the amount of time you spend suffering from this problem. Enjoy!

This summer I will be publishing my Summer How To Series which will be a series of mini-episodes addressing some topics that I know are on your mind and my client's minds. These shorter episodes will give you some quick, actionable, and deep tips and insights into things you are are struggling with or working on so that you can start making changes today! In this episode we are talking about flexibility. If you are a planner and struggle with plans changing or people changing...especially with things that are out of your control. In this episode I give you some new visuals and thoughts that help you loosen your grip on things that you are holding on tightly to. Don't worry though, we're not throwing out the plan, just always being ready to make a new one. Enjoy!

This summer I will be publishing my Summer How To Series which will be a series of mini-episodes addressing some topics that I know are on your mind and my client's minds. These shorter episodes will give you some quick, actionable, and deep tips and insights into things you are are struggling with or working on so that you can start making changes today! In this episode we are talking about stress. What it is, why it can be so heavy, and how to decrease it in our lives. As usual I start with how you can start thinking differently when it comes to stress in order to get some leverage in this area. But don't worry, I also talk about what you can do to decrease the stress in your life. You're going to want to listen to this right away if stress is something that you struggle with and you're ready for a change. Enjoy!

This summer I will be publishing my Summer How To Series which will be a series of mini-episodes addressing some topics that I know are on your mind and my client's minds. These shorter episodes will give you some quick, actionable, and deep tips and insights into things you are are struggling with or working on so that you can start making changes today! In this episode we are talking about how to feel more confident. We often mistakenly think that our main source of confidence comes from being good at something. While it can be fun to be naturally talented at things, there are usually lots of areas in our life that we are wanting to have more confidence in and we don't want to wait until we're good at it to feel that confidence. The other part of this is the way you get good at things is by doing them, so we can't wait to be good at it to do it because we won't be good at it until we do it. So basically we have to be willing to try things that we are not good at and this is made so much more enjoyable by creating that awesome feeling of confidence with our thoughts instead of requiring success or approval from others to feel confident. Try it out, I know you'll love it!

This summer I will be publishing my Summer How To Series which will be a series of mini-episodes addressing some topics that I know are on your mind and my client's minds. These shorter episodes will give you some quick, actionable, and deep tips and insights into things you are are struggling with or working on so that you can start making changes today! In this episode we are talking about why we get offended and what we can do to stop getting so offended. I talk about why we get stuck in offense and how we can think in a new way about this topic to feel more empowered. It is so important to realize that we can simultaneously not be ok with something someone does and not be offended.

This summer I will be publishing my Summer How To Series which will be a series of mini-episodes addressing some topics that I know are on your mind and my client's minds. These shorter episodes will give you some quick, actionable, and deep tips and insights into things you are are struggling with or working on so that you can start making changes today! In this episode we are talking about how to have more energy! Energy is what of those things that seems very finite and always running short. I would like to show you how your physical energy (the energy you get from sleeping well and eating well), while super important, is finite and limited, but there's another mega source of energy that is essentially limitless: your mental energy. Mental energy is the energy that you still feel physically in your body that allows you to get tons of stuff done and feel good while you're doing it but it doesn't come from fueling your body, it comes from fueling your brain. Mental energy comes from your thoughts and your mindset and your attitude. Learning to access and increase your mental energy is the way you can increase your capacity and when you're able to do that anything is possible. Enjoy!

This summer I will be publishing my Summer How To Series which will be a series of mini-episodes addressing some topics that I know are on your mind and my client's minds. These shorter episodes will give you some quick, actionable, and deep tips and insights into things you are are struggling with or working on so that you can start making changes today! In this episode we are talking about how to yell at your kids less. We address why you think you are yelling at your kids and why you are actually yelling at your kids. I also talk about ways you've tried to stop and why that hasn't worked. I give you new ways to think about and work on this problem so you can make headway today!

Survival mode is one of our greatest super powers. Our ability to go into survival mode is what gets us through the hardest parts of life. On the other hand, survival mode is not sustainable. When we try to stay in it for long periods of time or past when it is needed it comes at a cost. Listen to this episode to learn more about survival mode. In this episode I break down the different components of survival mode and help you understand how to have more leverage and control over this superpower. Enjoy!

Have you ever struggled with something being very important to you, but not important to someone close to you? Or on the other hand, have you ever struggled with something not being important to you, but it's really important to your spouse or child or best friend? When we face this in our relationships it can be a problem because we tend to make it mean something painful about that relationship. Listen to the episode to learn why we do this, why it makes perfect sense, why it's ok that we do it, how to do it less or completely stop, and what to do if we want to start caring about something more that isn't currently important to us. Enjoy!

I would love to introduce you to my new friend Christine Hinrichs. She is a fellow military wife who is doing some incredible things in the military spouse community. Christine is the host of the Milspouse Mastermind show, which is a podcast all about helping you pursue a life of purpose, joy, and impact as a military spouse. She also has an online community and a super helpful blog, all of which are incredible resources for military spouses. You can find all of her info on her website at www.milspousemastermind.com. I have loved getting to know her and it was a privilege having her on my podcast. Tune in to the episode as I interview Christine about her life living on the island of Guam, mothering her three sweet girls, her background in marketing, opening and running a coffee shop (The Rio Grounds) for a time, being married to her awesome husband who is a soldier and a pilot, and becoming an "accidental stay-at-home mom." All of these experiences and more are what make Christine the incredible person she is today and have led her to this calling of helping military spouses get unstuck in their lives and create the life of their dreams. You won't want to miss it! Enjoy!

Are you new to the Simply Resilient Podcast? If so, this is a great place to start. In this episode I reintroduce myself, tell you my story, discuss all of the ways to find me and work with me, and tell you about my new website and the free resources I'm currently offering beyond this podcast. One of the free resources that I'm offering that you are going to want to grab right away is my Podcast Roadmap that walks you through my top 12 podcast episodes and the order I recommend you listen to them. This will be great for those who have just started listening to my podcast and also for anyone wanting to listen again (but not to over 100 episodes). Enjoy!

I have created a year long video course of weekly classes called Resiliency Training that is designed to take everything you are learning here on the podcast to the next level. I am releasing the audio for week one from each themed month of the course as individual podcast episodes so that you can get a taste of what it would be like to go through my Resiliency Training program. The theme of the twelfth month of Resiliency Training is Understanding Buffering. This month we learn what buffering is, why we do it, why it seems so effective, and why ultimately it isn't working. In week 1, I focus on what buffering is and why we do it and give you a nice foundation of understanding on this topic. In week 2, you will learn about what the spectrum of buffers is, how to know what the net negative result of each buffer is, and how understanding all of this affects our lives. In week 3, I teach you about what an urge is and how to manage them. In week 4, about our relationship with discomfort and how that is currently affecting our life. Enjoy!

I have created a year long video course of weekly classes called Resiliency Training that is designed to take everything you are learning here on the podcast to the next level. I am releasing the audio for week one from each themed month of the course as individual podcast episodes so that you can get a taste of what it would be like to go through my Resiliency Training program. The theme of the eleventh month of Resiliency Training is Time Management. This month we learn about how to improve our relationship with time by understanding what we are currently thinking and feeling about time and what results those thoughts are leading to. In week 1, I focus on your relationship with time and how that is currently affecting our life. In week 2, you will learn about having accountability to ourselves when it comes to time management rather than needing to have accountability to an outside source. In week 3, I teach you about allowing ourselves to do B minus work rather than needing things to be perfect. In week 4, we talk about getting things done and creating results. Enjoy!

I have created a year long video course of weekly classes called Resiliency Training that is designed to take everything you are learning here on the podcast to the next level. I am releasing the audio for week one from each themed month of the course as individual podcast episodes so that you can get a taste of what it would be like to go through my Resiliency Training program. The theme of the tenth month of Resiliency Training is Money Beliefs. This month we learn about how to improve our relationship with money but understanding what we are currently thinking and feeling about money and what results those thoughts are leading to. In week 1, I focus on your relationship with money and how that is currently affecting our life. In week 2, you will learn about your thoughts around your ability to earn and save money. In week 3, I teach you about our capacity to have a certain amount of money and how our thoughts affect that. In week 4, we talk about our beliefs about debt and if they are serving us or not. Enjoy!

I have created a year long video course of weekly classes called Resiliency Training that is designed to take everything you are learning here on the podcast to the next level. I am releasing the audio for week one from each themed month of the course as individual podcast episodes so that you can get a taste of what it would be like to go through my Resiliency Training program. The theme of the ninth month of Resiliency Training is Self Confidence. This month we learn about how to improve our physical health and weight loss efforts by understanding what makes up our relationship with our health, our bodies, sleeping, exercising, our clothes, etc. In week 1, I focus on helping you understand the difference between confidence and self confidence and how to create self confidence inside yourself without needing anything outside of yourself or your control. In week 2, you will learn about trusting yourself and having your own back and what that means. In week 3, I teach you about being willing to experience any emotion and particularly about being willing to fail and being willing to be wrong. In week 4, we talk about your opinion of yourself and what it means when we're willing to accept all parts of ourselves. Enjoy!

I have created a year long video course of weekly classes called Resiliency Training that is designed to take everything you are learning here on the podcast to the next level. I am releasing the audio for week one from each themed month of the course as individual podcast episodes so that you can get a taste of what it would be like to go through my Resiliency Training program. The theme of the eighth month of Resiliency Training is Physical Health & Weight Loss. This month we learn about how to improve our physical health and weight loss efforts by understanding what makes up our relationship with our health, our bodies, sleeping, exercising, our clothes, etc. In week 1, I focus on helping you understand your relationship with your bodies. We also take a brief look at your relationship with sleep and exercise. In week 2, you will learn about your relationship with food and how that impacts your physical health and weight loss. In week 3, I teach you about overhunger and overdesire. In week 4, we talk about achieving and maintaining your desired weight. It can be so impactful to understand and improve our relationships with all of these different aspects of physical heath and weight loss and as always it all starts with you and what's going on inside your mind. Enjoy!

I have created a year long video course of weekly classes called Resiliency Training that is designed to take everything you are learning here on the podcast to the next level. I am releasing the audio for week one from each themed month of the course so that you can get a taste of what it would be like to go through my Resiliency Training program. The theme of the seventh month of Resiliency Training is Requests & Boundaries. This month we learn about what it means to make healthy sustainable requests and boundaries in our relationships. In week 1, I focus on making healthy requests (understanding when it's something I just want but don't need). In week 2, you will learn about setting and enforching healthy boundaries (getting clear on what I will not tolerate and deciding what I will do about it if it occurs). In week 3, I teach you about manuals (understanding why we think we know how other people should behave). In week 4, we go deep into the cupcake concept (one of my core concepts that helps you get so clear on which parts are your responsibility and which parts belong to other people). It's so important to clean up our relationships by understanding and setting amazing, clean, and healthy requests and boundaries and it all starts with you and what's going on inside your mind. Enjoy!

I have created a year long video course of weekly classes called Resiliency Training that is designed to take everything you are learning here on the podcast to the next level. I am releasing the audio for week one from each themed month of the course so that you can get a taste of what it would be like to go through my Resiliency Training program. The theme of the sixth month of Resiliency Training is Decision Making. This month we learn about what it means to be decisive and how to believe in your ability to make decisions. We also discuss what it takes to make decisions, how to have more confidence in this area, and what that will create in your life. In week 1, I focus on the basics of decision making, increasing our awareness, understanding why it can be so challenging, and how to improve our overall relationship with this big important part of our lives. In week 2, you will learn about some of the biggest issues we face when it comes to decision making including struggling with confusion and indecision. In week 3, I teach you about all or nothing thinking and why it can be problematic. We'll also talk about the perfect solution which is happy medium thinking. In week 4, we go deep into what it means to believe in the choices and decisions we make. It's so important to understand what makes any decision the right one, it all starts with just believing in it and deciding that it is the right decision for you. Enjoy!

I have created a year long video course of weekly classes called Resiliency Training that is designed to take everything you are learning here on the podcast to the next level. I am releasing the audio for week one from each themed month of the course so that you can get a taste of what it would be like to go through my Resiliency Training program. The theme of the fifth month of Resiliency Training is Goals. This month we learn about why as humans we are drawn to setting goals and why it can be so difficult. In week 1, I focus on what is involved when it comes to creating and achieving goals. In week 2, you will learn about what it takes to stay motivated and come to understand willpower. In week 3, I teach you what it means to work on your goals and make changes in your life from a place of love and abundance. In week 4, we go deep into why creating feelings intentionally is a game changer because feelings are always what is fueling our action. Enjoy!

I have created a year long video course of weekly classes called Resiliency Training that is designed to take everything you are learning here on the podcast to the next level. I am releasing the audio for week one from each themed month of the course so that you can get a taste of what it would be like to go through my Resiliency Training program. The theme of the fourth month of Resiliency Training is Deciding What to Believe. This month we learn about what we believe and why, what it takes to believe something new or stop believing something that isn't serving us, and some specific beliefs that are game changers. In week 1, I focus on learning how to create belief on purpose. In week 2, you will learn about what it means to start enjoying results ahead of time. In week 3, I teach you what it means to have a protocol and what areas of our lives this works so well in. In week 4, we go deep into understanding the concept of the 50/50 and how leaning into this belief will change the way you experience life. Enjoy!

I have created a year long video course of weekly classes called Resiliency Training that is designed to take everything you are learning here on the podcast to the next level. I am releasing the audio for week one from each themed month of the course so that you can get a taste of what it would be like to go through my Resiliency Training program. The theme of the third month of Resiliency Training is Emotions. This month we learn about what we are currently doing with uncomfortable emotions and why, how to make these emotions less uncomfortable so that we feel safer to experience them, and strategies for living a more emotionally mature life. In week 1, I focus on learning to allow and process emotions and what happens when we don't do this. In week 2, you will learn about the difference between negative emotions that actually productive and serve you to feel them and indulgent emotions that keep you stuck. In week 3, I teach you about clean pain and dirty pain, how to tell the difference, and why it's so important. In week 4, creating emotion on purpose, how to use emotions as fuel, and which emotions fuel the most incredible actions. Enjoy!

I have created a year long video course of weekly classes called Resiliency Training that is designed to take everything you are learning here on the podcast to the next level. I am releasing the audio for week one from each themed month of the course so that you can get a taste of what it would be like to go through my Resiliency Training program. The theme of the second month of Resiliency Training is Relationships. This month we focus on understanding all kinds of relationships in our lives and how to be more intentional about cultivating those important relationships. In week 1, I focus on our relationships with ourselves and how this often overlooked relationship is really our most important one. In week 2, you will learn about your relationships with others and the role you play in that and where we often get off track and into other people's business. Learning to work with your lower brain and even learning to partner up with it and love it is sort of the secret to the universe. In week 3, I teach you how to create connection and decrease drama in your life and in your relationships. In week 4, I teach you all about what it means to give the people around you and yourself the benefit of the doubt and how this impacts your relationships for the better. Enjoy!

I have created a year long video course of weekly classes called Resiliency Training that is designed to take everything you are learning here on the podcast to the next level. I am releasing the audio for week one from each themed month of the course so that you can get a taste of what it would be like to go through my Resiliency Training program. The theme of the first month of Resiliency Training is Back to Basics. This month we focus on all of the things that are the foundation of thought work and mind management. In week 1, I focus on teaching you even more about the model and I show you how to navigate this life changing tool like a pro. In week 2, you will learn even more about the lower brain and why it's one of your greatest assets. Learning to work with your lower brain and even learning to partner up with it and love it is sort of the secret to the universe. In week 3, I teach you more about emotional adulthood and how understanding and implementing this into your life is going to be a game changer when it comes to your mental and emotional health and your relationships. In week 4, I teach you many in depth aspects of self coaching. Enjoy!

I'm thrilled to share a recent interview that I was able to do with Lizann Lightfoot aka The Seasoned Spouse. It was such a pleasure to have her on my podcast to talk about her new book, Open When - Letters of Encouragement for Military Spouses. Listen in to hear our discussion about why this book is such an incredible tool to have readily available for military spouses anywhere in their military life journey. These letters are a treasure trove of encouragement and valuable advice for military spouses on some of our hardest days. Each chapter stands alone ready to be read in the moment you need it. On the days when others don't understand military life or when you have questions about military housing or when you spend your first night alone or when your orders change on short notice or when it's almost time for homecoming or when it's time to retire. Check out this episode and read this book, then share it with a friend who you know could use it. You'll be so glad you did! Enjoy!

Self care can be a buzz word these days, we hear about it a lot. On top of that we're told that self care is SO important, especially during stressful times like deployments. When the buck stops here when it comes to all of the responsibilities in our lives like it does during deployment, that is a critical time to be taking very good care of yourself. But we tend to have one of two problems (or both) when it comes to self care during deployment: problem 1: when we are stressed and overwhelmed (like we tend to be during deployment) the things we typically do for self care tend to drop off our to-do list first. problem 2: even when we make time for what we believe is self care (i.e. pedicures, yoga, meditation, bubble baths, girls nights out, etc), we feel better for a short amount of time, then the stress and the overwhelm come right back. So what is the solution? Understanding what true self care is. The true source of what makes us feel better in a lasting way is when we focus on our relationship with ourselves which consists of the way we think about ourselves, talk to ourselves, and have our back (especially on the days when we are struggling and when we make mistakes).

When we first learn about our lower brain and what it does we tend to want to find a cure for it and throw it out. As we learn more about it, we realize that it's important and apart of us. We learn to tolerate it and even work with it. As our relationship with our lower brain progresses and improves, we can even get to the point where we don't just tolerate our lower brain, but we actually get on the same page as it, partner up, and take on the world together. When we get to this stage, we find so much love for our lower brain which in turn will help us treat ourselves better. We develop love and understanding for our lower brain. We improve the way we interact with our lower brain which is basically improving the way we speak to ourselves. We learn to listen and reassure our lower brain as we would a small child and the relationship becomes very sweet. Our lower brain (AKA toddler brain) is very child like, and envisioning this child will greatly improve your daily interactions with your lower brain. Enjoy!

Do you struggle with felling resentment in your relationships? I know I do sometimes. The way to get a hold of this and decrease the amount of resentment you feel is to understand where it comes from. Resentment comes from giving the responsibility of creating the feelings you want to feel to other people. Take back your life by remembering that you are responsible for the way you're feeling now and for creating the way you want to feel. Resentment comes in when we don't like how we're feeling and we think that someone else should fix it. Listen to this episode as we dig into all of this and I share some personal examples of specific times in my life when I have felt resentment and how I solved it. Enjoy!

I have a special treat for you all. I was able to interview Dariann Leigh for my podcast a couple of weeks ago. She is a country artist who has been singing since she could talk. She has released lots of awesome music over the years and she recently released a song called "10,000 Miles" about her recent experience of her military boyfriend deploying overseas. It is beautiful and meaningful and reminds us that we are not alone in this experience. In this interview we learn more about Dariann, details about writing the song, and we discuss the meaning behind the lyrics. I also included the song in this episode. I know you'll love it! Enjoy!

Today we're digging into buffering. What it is, why we do it, why it doesn't really work/help, and how to love ourselves as we work to decrease it in our lives. We've been talking about buffering in Resiliency Training over the last month. We've been talking about urges and managing urges, the purpose of discomfort, and net negative results. Listen in to learn more about buffering and if you're interested in going deeper, come join us in Resiliency Training. Enjoy!

Having creative outlets fills us up, energizes us, and inspires us. The problem is that many of us don't feel like we have time for these types of activities in our limited free time. At the same time, as adults we often lose the pieces of ourselves that used to be very important to us and bring us a lot of joy. Another piece of this is wanting to stay busy while our partners are deployed to help the time pass quickly but struggling to balance that with being too busy, stressed, and overwhelmed. Listen to this episode to learn why some types of activities seem to drain us and some seem to energize. Find out tips on how to discover or rediscover activities that fulfill our desire to create. Learn how to make time in your every day life for these activities. You won't want to miss this episode. Enjoy!

Our friendships are one of the most important parts of our lives. In this episode we talk about why friendships can be so rewarding and complicated and important and tricky. We get into why it feels weird and hard sometimes and why it feels easy and effortless at other times. We talk about when you get invited and when you don't. We talk about what is really happening when your friendships are exhausting you. By the end of the episode, you will have a new outlook on your current friendships and your friendship goals and ready to take control of an area of your life that may currently feel quite a bit out of your control. Enjoy!

Time is one of our most precious resources and yet we could all use a little help managing it better. In this episode we don't talk about time management in the way that you are used to tackling this issue, we look at the root of the problem. When you start by looking at your thoughts and feelings about any given thing than you are focused on that problem at the root instead of just trying to manage the symptoms of your problem. You are going to love what we go over in this episode and the small actionable tips that I give you to make some thinking adjustments today that will immediately make changes in your life and improve your relationship with time. If you want to learn even more about this topic, sign up for Resiliency Training on my website (SimplyResilient.net) because we're focusing on all things time management this month. In this episode we just start scratching the surface on this topic and in Resiliency Training we take it all to the next level. I can't wait to work with you! I'll see you inside.

I'm so excited to talk to you all about money today. I have money in my blood (raised by an accountant who was raised by an accountant) and I love money. I majored in finance in college for my bachelor's degree. I was also awarded a military spouse grant to participate in a program to become an accredited financial counselor. I love coaching people on money and getting coached on money. However, money is hard for people to talk about. It feels very private and we easily add lots of emotion and intensity and drama when it comes to our relationship with money. So listen to this episode if you want to start to be more aware of what you think about money and what that is creating for you. Listen to this episode if you want to start to wiggle the way you think about money and create new results for yourself when it comes to this area. Enjoy!