TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Luke has some Big Weekend Plans™ that involve golfing, hosting, and home improvementing. But is he ready? Andrew, meanwhile, had a very long night at the ballpark yesterday and isn't sure if he'll make it through today's episode. 

A story about A.I. generated podcasts has Luke legitimately worried about the future…and his livelihood. He's also got some very bad news for Andrew regarding sasquatch. 

Luke enjoyed an impromptu history lesson about his neighborhood from his 82 year old neighbor, Gay. Andrew is in a fight with a restaurant over something he's completely imagined. And a closer look at TSA precheck leads to a conversation about waiting in line at DMVs and passport offices. 

Luke makes a wonderful discovery about his neighborhood, thanks to his dog-sitting responsibilities. He also tells Andrew about a cringy moment on the Howard Stern Show that they can both learn from. And a listener calls-in with another (very interesting!) correction to a previous discussion about Warwick Davis. 

Luke is dogsitting this week, and his dogological clock is spinning out of control. Andrew also has a doggy-date on the horizon that he's a little nervous about. They also discuss the Phillies fan who essentially took a baseball away from a child in the stands. 

Luke has decided to make a big change in his life regarding his drinking -- specifically, his drinking of sparkling water! It also appears that his stress dreams are coming to life in a literal way.   

After Andrew's failure to help Luke with his stand-up routine, Luke turns to A.I. for some jokes. Plus, Morrissey is ready to sell his stake in the songs he wrote for The Smiths, and you know he's serious because he set-up a gmail account and posted it on Instagram. 

Andrew has learned how to properly pronounce the word “pestilence.” Unfortunately, it's because he's dealing with it right now. Meanwhile, Luke is shocked by the list of careers he can choose from while applying for a new credit card. 

Andrew tries and fails to help Luke with his stand-up routine. Luke made the questionable decision to watch Sexy Beast with his dad. Andrew made the right decision to overcome his fears and watch Weapons at the theater.   

A short conversation about Andrew's fantasy draft turns into a long conversation about the cruelty of late-stage capitalism. In other  words, a perfect Labor Day show! Luke and Andrew also discuss Twisted Tea, Hawaiian vacations, and some Labor Day “fun facts.”

Andrew had a dream involving a public toilet. A very public toilet. Plus, Luke is learning about the birds and the bees -- specifically, the humming birds and the yellow jackets that are harassing them in his back yard. And they take some time to revisit the 1990s show Dinosaurs.

A book written by a TBTL Ten just ended up on Barack Obama's summer reading list, and Luke and Andrew are doing their best to draft off that fame. Andrew also offers a dramatic reading of Clan of the Cave Bear, which was oddly *not* on Obama's reading list.  

Luke and Andrew discuss their blood pressure levels in an attempt to court younger listeners. Plus, Luke had a magical moment in his garden, Burning Man gets burnt, and Listener Joey heeds the call for a new TBTL country western song. 

Luke's mom, Susie B., joins the show to share her thoughts on the Vedder Cup, timeshare negotiating, and sneaking into movie theaters. Luke also was shocked at the assembly required for a new piece of furniture in his studio. 

Luke introduces a brand new segment called “Please Stop”. It involves his experiences with FUBO TV and Counting Crows. Meanwhile, Andrew has a varmint problem, but it's not as bad as his “Vedder Cup” problem. 

Luke has some major outdoor organizing projects to take care of in the hot hot heat today. Andrew's current organizing project is slightly less…rugged. Plus, Luke drove by the new In & Out burger joint yesterday, and the scene was bonkers. And the Tens of Listeners help correct the record on a few stories from earlier this week. 

Luke finally gets the high-profile media shout-out that he's been waiting for. Andrew giggled his way through the new Naked Gun movie last night. And passengers are suing two airlines for charging them extra for window seats that don't have windows.   

The first In & Out Burger in Washington State opened today, and it's QUITE the scene! Plus, MSNBC's new name, “MS NOW”,  is getting a lot of flack. And Luke and Andrew weigh-in on another musical performance conducted on an airplane stuck on a tarmac.   

Andrew's animosity towards one of his neighbors has escalated into a “hot war”. He and Luke also dig into a very fun package someone sent to the P.O. box! 

Luke is back from his European vacation with a lot of stories to tell, most of them involving trying to return items to various stores.

Andrew accidentally introduces Luke to the “Kubrick Stare”. They also find out how one TBTL Ten got a piece of a rocketship permanently embedded under her skin.

Luke makes a very, very personal admission, and Andrew offers him zero emotional support. Andrew does have an idea (probably a bad one at that) for a log-themed mascot, though!  

Andrew is working on his comedy career and has a brand new joke to unveil. He and Luke also discuss the concept of bar tabs and Jughead Jones' hamburger debts. And they once again (or maybe for the first time) try to solve the mystery of Old Dirty Bastard imitating Mr. Ed.   

Luke and Andrew recount their time in the world's busiest Subway sandwich shop. They also hear from a former McDonald's employee with a story about the strangest fast food order she ever received. 

Luke is too distracted by the many ships steaming past his studio window to do the show today. Andrew has a plan to “astroturf” a new nickname for himself. And a listener lets us know what it's like to get a colonoscopy in a very unconventional, harrowing way.

Luke wants Andrew to say it's okay to not wash your hands after you use the bathroom when you're home alone. But Andrew won't concede. We also hear from a listener who is still steamed over something that happened to her at a concert ten years ago.

Andrew saw a concerning post on Bluesky that has him worried about the future of his favorite thermostat. He and Luke also check-in on the TBTL voicemail line again, where they have messages concerning old coots at baseball games and the dangers of parents explaining swear words to their kids.

Day three of their voicemail odyssey brings Luke and Andrew to toilet-talk town, where one generous listener has a gracious bathroom offer for all TBTL Tens. Plus, Andrew is working on a screenplay that takes place in Luke's bathroom.

In their ongoing efforts to listen to every message on their voicemail line, Luke and Andrew delve into Tens' garbage anxiety (and the anxiety of their trash collectors.) Andrew also accidentally flirts with a listener.

The TBTL voicemail line has been filling up, so Luke and Andrew invent a fun way to listen to as many listener messages as possible.   

Luke had a personal item confiscated by the TSA this morning, and it's all Andrew's fault. They also learn that Luke has apparently entered the Brain Rot Internet, whatever that is. 

There was some DRAMA-RAMA on Luke's flight yesterday, but luckily he wasn't involved. Plus, one of the TBTL Junior Sluggers is up for a big award, but he could use your votes.   

Luke and Andrew discuss the bizarre story of police arresting Chuck E. Cheese -- in full uniform -- in the middle of the restaurant in front of kids and their parents. They also find some time to review mugshots of politicians from the early 2000s.   

One of Luke's biggest sports heroes from his childhood died this week. He tells Andew all about the late Ryne “Ryno” Sandberg. They also discuss Deion Sanders' surprisingly candid and inspiring announcement about his serious health situation. And Luke's got a Jeopardy! hot take that he needs to air out.

Luke and Andrew trade notes on their respective trips home from Friendship, Wisconsin, as they settle back into post-Thon life. They also discuss a clip from an airline commercial that is going viral, and the soda jingle that Andrew says is the song of the summer. 

Luke, Andrew and Jon wistfully wrap-up their time in Friendship, Wisconsin with the final show of this year's TBTL-a-Thon. They hear from Tens of listeners calling into the show and read an award-winning poem about friendship and Minecraft by a 7-year-old in Norfolk.  Click here to donate and participate in this year's TBTL-a-Thon!  

Luke, Andrew and Jon's adventures in Friendship, WI, continue with a visit from local historian Michael Goc, who surprises them with a TRULY historic gift! They also discuss their big appearance on the local radio station this morning, and how they almost blew it.    Click here to donate and participate in this year's TBTL-a-Thon!  

Luke, Andrew and Jon make another new friend in Friendship, Wisconsin! Local radio host (and Andrew's new favorite celebrity) Bob Goff of “Bob In The Morning” makes a surprise visit. They also finish the story they started yesterday about the friends who had a falling out over airport pickups.  Click here to donate and participate in this year's TBTL-a-Thon!  

Luke, Andrew and Jon continue their adventure in Friendship, Wisconsin! Andrew is trying to win a local radio contest, Luke is sleeping on a water-proof mattress, and Jon is taking care of TBTL-a-Thon business. They also get a surprise visit from a local reporter during their live broadcast!  Click here to donate and participate in this year's TBTL-a-Thon!  

It's happening! It's really happening! Luke, Andrew and Jon broadcast their first live show from beautiful downtown Friendship, WI. They discuss some of the most surprising area headlines, the bug situation in the midwest, and whether or not they are local celebrities (yet.) And they take calls!

It's a big day on TBTL! Jon joins Luke and Andrew to finally unveil this year's TBTL-a-Thon theme and thank-you gifts! They also discuss CBS's suspicious cancelling of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert and the defunding of public media and -- to cheer things up a little bit -- garbage-related drama in Andrew's neighborhood.   

Luke tries to figure out if he's living in a scene from the Simpsons. Andrew finally listens to a podcast that's been on his list forever…and comes away disappointed. And film studios and filmgoers are mad about AMC's plan to play more commercials before movies. 

Luke is at war with a luggage company (and, by proxy, Adrienne Brody.) Andrew tries to help by summarizing the plot of Joe Vs The Volcano to the best of his ability. 

Luke just bought the most amazing piece of technology in his life, but he's conflicted about it. Andrew is conflicted about something that happened to him in a restaurant recently. They also discuss Times Square, pizza crust, David Letterman Top Ten Lists, and -- of course -- Cal Raleigh winning last night's Home Run Derby.

Luke enjoyed a very special weekend with his siblings. Andrew has an announcement/apology/request. And listener Bill has the 411 on a classic Seattle fish sign. 

Luke introduces Andrew to a 25-year-old U2 video that stars John Madden and a frustrated place kicker. They also discuss Luke's adventures in (and trying to get to) Manhattan, KS. And Andrew might pet a dog later today.  

Andrew begrudgingly admits that a listener was right about something. Luke speculates on Oliver Stone's football fandom. And one of TBTL's favorite babies gets surprisingly political. 

Luke went into the lion's den of Yankees stadium yesterday and had one heck of an adventure. And Andrew has questions about the folks who knocked on his front door during his lunch break yesterday.   

Luke took the most dangerous nap in the world this morning. He also got to interview Bridget Everett and didn't even cry once. He and Andrew also hear from a listener who had her own “Code Brown” experience during a Thanksgiving jog. 

Jon joins the show from Friendship, Wisconsin, where he's getting a scouting report for the upcoming TBTL-a-Thon. He's got eyes on the new TBTL billboard and the historical society building where he and Luke and Andrew will be broadcasting in a couple of weeks. Also, Luke shares his new Tiktok obsession, which involves an AI-generated Bigfoot preacher.   

Luke and Andrew try the Tiktok “Big Mac Challenge” to see if they can each eat the double-decker burger in one minute or less.