TBTL (Too Beautiful to Live) is a daily weekday podcast from Luke Burbank and co-host/producer Andrew Walsh. It is about life, current events, popular culture, puttering, serial boat ownership, and night pants. Hotline: (206) 414-8285.
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A surprise attendee at the trial of the year reminds Luke and Andrew of Lucille Bluth. Or maybe George Bluth? Or is he more like Steve Buscemi in 30 Rock? We'll figure it out. Plus, plant burglars are swiping valuable bonsai trees across the Twin Cities, and it's kind of heartbreaking
Luke spent the morning wrestling with some cockamamie app with a terrible name in order to attend a virtual conference. Speaking of meeting software, some people are developing “Zoom Dysmorphia” after seeing themselves on their own computer screens all day. Also, Andrew drops the ball on several jokes, not unlike Nick Chubb in yesterday's Browns game, which we WILL NOT talk about.
Andrew has some exciting new ideas for network TV shows, including “The Piano Man” and “The Pickle Jar Guy.” He and Luke also pay homage to actor Mickael K. Williams, who died this weekend. Plus, in Top Stories: Music Edition, Guns ‘n' Roses get the power pulled on them, ABBA is reuniting digitally (?), and Lil Uzi Vert's 24 million dollar diamond got ripped out of his forehead while crowd surfing (maybe).
Luke is still in Portland, instead of Philadelphia, where he was supposed to be interviewing some iconic sports mascots. He explains the lawsuit that kept him home. Plus, the tennis player who keeps taking long bathroom breaks finally gets booed after pulling his stunt again. And a woman is in jail after trying to pass a fake vaccine card with a dumb spelling error.
Andrew bought himself a Battery Daddy, and there ain't nothing wrong with that. But the slightly bigger news is that the new, self-selected host of Jeopardy! is already stepping down in disgrace, and the world is rejoicing. Today's opening tape comes from Cassie Workman (@GhostCassie on TikTok)
Luke finds himself in traffic court, while Andrew finally beats The Oregon Trail game. Plus, a reporter for The Ringer discovers many more reasons why the new host of Jeopardy! was a bad pick...including the fact that he received almost $300K in PPP loans while he was employed as an executive producer.
Luke wandered around the remains of an old dry cleaners yesterday, looking for the clothes he'd left with them when they were still in business. Meanwhile, Andrew has some new CNN documentaries to putter around with. And an expert offers advice on how to properly engage in small talk.