The Housewives Archives: A Real Housewives Podcast

We've come out of retirement to deconstruct the most recent season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. This week, we discuss Kyle and Mauricio, Morgan Wade, Dorit v Garcelle, Sutton's esophagus, and Kathy's mob boss appearance at the Reunion. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

Merry Christmas everyone! Dorinda's here to make it nice and she's even brought Santa (her sister, Melinda, in drag) with her! This week, we talk Bluestone Manor, Christmas, Gothicism, Richard, death and grieving, alcohol, anger, and John Mahdessian. Plus, we give some thoughts on Beverly Hills and UGT and briefly reminisce over our favorite Bravo Christmas moments. UGT Recap: 1:30ish Dorinda Discussion (I): 8:00ish RHOBH: 35:45ish Dorinda Discussion (II): 40:00ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, we're heading south of the equator to discuss another international spin-off from yesteryear: the truly batshit first season of Real Housewives of Sydney. We talk its trio of villains: Victoria, Lisa and Athena X, fighting, divorce, nearly drowning at sea, past life regression therapy, long-lost sisters, The Boar, flying economy, Captain Eyebrows, the Pot Plant in the Room, Chewbacca, and of course, Lizzie Buttrose. RHOSydney Discussion: 12:00ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

Crack open the champagne, because Heather's here to tell us all to stop being so silly! This week, we talk Heather's illustrious acting career, her home, being "the sensible one", Terry, pretentiousness, condescension, villainy, her Sushi dinner meltdown, and her feuds with Kelly, Shannon, Noella, and Tamra. RHONY Discussion: 4:30ish Heather Dubrow: 10:00ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, we discuss the new crop of Housewives replacing the mad Upper East Siders we came to know and love. We talk aspiration, fashion, trauma, cheese, flirting, Anguilla, and crying. Lots of it. RHONY Discussion: 10:45ish RHOBH Discussion: 46:00ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

Forgotten to the annals of Housewives history, we blow away the dust and open up the chronicle to recount the story of Bravo's biggest blunder: The Real Housewives of DC. We talk politics, gay marriage, race relations, Michaele and Tareq Salahi, cheerleading, the Oasis Winery, crashing the White House State Dinner, and a farcical congressional hearing... Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

Who is Yolanda Foster in this world? Well, we'll tell you. This week, we talk lemons, the Master Cleanse, David Foster, the glass fridge, the Dream Team

Put nine lemons in a bowl and open the Casamigos, Shannon's in the house! This week, we talk all things Shannon Beador: "fun", wacky costumes, Spanglish, Tres Amigas, David, divorce, John Janssen, gaslighting, nervous breakdowns, and a certain DUI that happened over the weekend... Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

Journalist, European royalty, marathon runner, adopter of Baby, Baby, and Baby, she's done it all. This week, we discuss New York's resident princess Carole Radziwill. We talk CoolCarole, fashion, talking heads, ageism, Bethenny, their friendship, their breakup, and how to argue. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

After a month's sabbatical and a major technical mishap, we're back! This week, we have the honor and the privilege of discussing the OG of the OC, patron saint of whooping it up: Vicki Steinmetz Gunvalson. We talk Vicki's humble beginnings, family vans, hypocrisy, mortality, pratfalls, injuries, illnesses, her dramatic fall from grace and her triumphant return. Vicki Discussion: 15:00ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, we go (barely) international as we discuss the short-lived Real Housewives of Vancouver. We talk alcoholism, frenemyship, Housewives' evilest villain Jody Claman, the Mary-Ronnie-Jody trio of doom, Robin Reichman, Ioulia Reynolds, Ronnie's harrowing Reunion monologue, and one of the greatest Housewives one season wonders: Christina Kiesel.

This week, we pop back to New Jersey to discuss the events of its most recent season. We talk the Prohibition party, Melissa cheating rumors, the new Housewives, Teresa's wedding, Luis, Bo Dietl, and the Reunion. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

The New York Times, NPR, The Housewives Archives... These are but some of the elite journalistic powerhouses who have covered the cultural juggernaut that is Scandoval. This week, we take a break from Housewives and talk all about Vanderpump Rules' biggest bombshell ever, including its key players, the explosive Reunion, cheating, affirmation, bullying, hypocrisy, parasocial relationships, and the pressure of publicity. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, we pay homage and give sacrifice at the temple of Bravo to The Godfather of our favorite piece of television, Mr. Andrew Joseph Cohen. We talk our favorite Andy moments, international Andy Cohens, WWHL, Andy's Housewives favorites and least favorites, Reunions, accountability and conflict resolution. Andy Discussion: 11:30ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, we don our blackest attire and gather in solemn remembrance of our dearly departed Real Housewives of New York City. We reminisce about our favorite seasons, trips, characters and moments, and dissect what exactly led to its untimely demise. We talk New RHONY, RHONY: Legacy, aging disgracefully, the ethics of reality television in 2023 and, most importantly, Luann's recent musical turn as Ariel the mermaid... Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

Top o' the mooooooornin'! This week, the OC ladies invade the Emerald Isle and take the entire nation hostage with their drunken shenanigans, questionable accents, and bus ride bust-ups. We talk Kelly Dodd and her rage blackouts, FunShannon™, the infamous pub crawl, milking cows, the bus ride from hell, Heather the Villain, and Meghan's ill-fated quest to find a fellow O'Toole... It's a real hooley kickin' time! RHOC Discussion: 16:30ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

Before Scandoval, there was Brooks Ayers and his grift to fake cancer. This week, we take a deep dive into the original Bravo scandal and the downfall of the OG of the OC, Vicki Gunvalson. We talk Brooks, Briana, The Evil Eye Argument, Meghan King Edmonds and her detective skills, Tamra's producing, Vicki and her religion, and men. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

God is her savior, her husband is her king, and her body? It's sinful... This week we light a candle in honor of the blessed patron saint of National Booty Awareness Month, Alexis Bellino. We talk religion, glamour, motherhood, Jim, the Costa Rica takedown, the art of bragging, Heather Dubrow, Alexis Couture, the princesses and puppies party, and Alexis' illustrious acting career. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

We're back! To celebrate the start of a brand new season we raise a glass of TipsyGirl™ and salute our favorite tragicomic heroine, Ms. Sonja Tremont Morgan. We talk Sonja's many voices, spotting Sonja in the wild, her copious meltdowns, the TownHouse™, the ToasterOven™, being the beta of the group, sex, comedy, and living in the past. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

We're taking a brief break from Real Housewives - excepting some minor Barbara K chat - for a trip to the Scottish Highlands where we discuss our shared reality TV obsession du jour: The Traitors! We reminisce about our student days playing the parlor game from whence the show draws its inspiration, then we talk the similarities and differences between the American and British iterations, our doppelgänger hosts, most memorable contestants, the often shockingly bad gameplay, and that breakfast scene. Warning, here be plenty of massive spoilers... Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

What do we want for Christmas? Just you! Grab a mince pie and settle in for this one-off festive extravaganza! In the spirit of the season, we get all nostalgic for classic RHONY and discuss Housewives Secret Santa, our perfect Housewives Christmas, and our favorite Bluestone Manor memories. We also petition for Luann to appear in Ellie's next cabaret, we talk our rose and thorn from our recent New York trip, and Ellie recounts her Airbnb eviction story. Plus, we reveal our grand plans for The Housewives Archives in 2023... Instagram.com/Housewives Archives

In true Housewives Archives style, we came together for a Halloween special that dropped in November... but we're persevering regardless. We're taking a look back at the most recent sensational season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and discussing our favorite moments. We talk a Carlton Gebbia Bravocon, Erika's Aspen meltdown, virtue signaling in Beverly Hills, the Richards sisters, leaking to the press, Kathy Hilton's off-camera tantrum, Lisa Rinna, Crystal and Darkgate, and Erika's seemingly constant (and possibly imaginary!) conveyor belt of dick. Enjoy! RHOBH Discussion: 14:00ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

Nobody asked for it, but we did it anyway. This week, we gather one last time for a season-finale-cum-roundtable-discussion about our beloved Jersey lunatics. We talk our favorite Housewives Archives episodes, impressions, lifestyle porn in New Jersey, making Rosie a Housewife, our favorite RHONJ moments, and Danielle Staub fan fiction... RHOBH Recap: 10:00ish RHONJ Discussion: 20:00ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

It's the season finale! Sort of. This week, we finish up our deep-dive of Season 12 - and RHONJ as a whole - by talking obstacle courses, Nashville, body-shaming, analogies, Teresa's love bubble, moving houses, the husbands, and Margaret's unspoken but ever-present devotion to Coffee Mate... Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, the name on everybody's lips is Luis Ruelas, aka the new beau of hopeless romantic Teresa Giudice. Is he a con artist, or is he just a harmless Jersey bro with an over-zealous penchant for self help and a vague affinity with cultism? You decide! We talk the video that got everyone's tongues wagging, Jennifer's new nose, Bill's affair, Dolores' relationship with her Old School roots, Traci and Tiki Barber, and the blow-up at the Jersey Shore. RHOBH Recap: 10:30ish RHONJ Discussion: 22:00ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, we take a break from our Jersey deep-dive to discuss the breaking news that is Teresa's wedding: specifically, the sentient mass of hair pieces sitting atop her head. We also recap this week's episode of Beverly Hills, wherein we discuss the problem with Lisa Rinna, her business endeavors, Erika's sexuality, and the treatment of Crystal's eating disorder. Finally, we give our first impressions from the premier episode of Ultimate Girls Trip: Ex-Wives Club! Teresa's Wedding: 9:00ish RHOBH Recap: 17:00ish UGT Recap: 31:00ish

This week, we take a look at Season 11 of New Jersey, and how one little analogy almost led to Jackie's death by cunnilingus! We talk the passing of Teresa and Joe's father, Evan doing stuff at the gym, fighting with Teresa, the Jersey Shore blow-up, Melissa and Joe's marriage woes, Dolores and David, and Teresa's new boyfriend Luis... RHOBH Recap: 6:30ish RHONJ Discussion: 18:00ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

Danielle's wearing something very expensive, she's soaking wet, Teresa's in her ear, and she just can't help herself... But first, we talk pineapple pizzas on Love Island and the hilarity that is Jamie Lee Curtis flogging wind chimes to Dorit on Beverly Hills. Then, we bid adieu to Danielle - for the second time - as we wrap up our RHONJ Season 10 breakdown. We talk iconic Housewives costumes, that hair pull, the ethics and treatment of violence in reality television, Danielle ratting-out Teresa, Danielle's swan song Reunion performance, and Teresa and Joe's ill-fated Italian reunion... RHOBH Recap: 8:00ish RHONJ Discussion: 18:30ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

We're back from our mini-break and we've got a lot of catching up to do! We talk the latest Love Island drama and recap Diana v Sutton and Erika's drunken antics on RHOBH before discussing Season 10 of New Jersey. We analyze Jackie Goldschneider, debate the kids birthday party fiasco, talk money and how you spend it, and of course, Danielle's on-again-off-again relationship with Marty. RHOBH Recap: 16:00ish RHONJ Discussion: 25:00ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, we check in on Ekin-Su's latest shenanigans and recap the most recent Beverly Hills before concluding Season 9 of RHONJ! We watch Milania's illustrious singing career, Jackie's article, Old School v. New School, Mexico, sleeping in the pool-house, costume jewelry, and pushing Marty in the pool. RHOBH Recap: 13:30ish RHONJ Discussion: 20:30 Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, Danielle throws away all her goodwill from last season by transforming into a complete Bridezilla during her ill-fated wedding to Marty, and we're here to cover it all! We discuss the new additions Jackie and Jennifer, the trip to Oklahoma, controlling your husbands, Old School versus New School, the bachelorette party, Bimini, and the dissolution of Margaret's friendship with Danielle. RHOBH Recap: 8:00ish RHONJ Discussion: 12:00ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week we say goodbye to Siggy Flicker in the most on-brand way possible: by throwing herself down the stairs in a fit of mania! But before that, we talk the latest season of Love Island, recap Beverly Hills, and wrap up Season 8 of RHONJ. We discuss the trip to Milan, Hitler analogies, anti-semitism, Kim D as a madam and possible genocider, and we learn how to spell Posche courtesy of Teresa! RHOBH Recap: 12:00ish RHONJ Discussion: 22:30ish Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, we discuss one of the biggest 180s on The Real Housewives as Siggy Flicker well and truly goes off the rails for her second and final season... and it's all because of a certain cake. We talk new housewife Margaret Josephs and her pigtails, the return of Danielle, "Welcome back, scumbag," Ellie's love of Dolores, "Soggy Flicker," the girls' trip to Boca, and a two/three-tier cake getting thrown across the restaurant. Plus, Ellie recounts her recent odyssey to the holy Mecca that is Envy by Melissa Gorga... Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, we wrap up season 7 of RHONJ and say goodbye to Jacqueline as she speeds off in an Uber whilst laughing maniacally. We discuss the fallout of the Vermont trip, the Envy Fashion Show, Joe Giudice going "away," Jacqueline losing her voice (both literally and figuratively), and the re-writing of history at the Reunion. Plus, we get an illuminating, if disturbing, insight into the circumstances of Joe Gorga losing his virginity! Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

It's a reboot of a reboot! This week, we briefly touch on the thrilling season premiere of RHOBH before taking an in-depth look at Season 7 of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Teresa's freshly out of "camp," Joe's about to go into "camp," Teresa and Jacqueline have made up, then they've fallen out, it's hard to keep up! We talk Melissa's new boutique/money pit, the newbies Siggy and Dolores, Jacqueline and the "crazy ex-girlfriend" trope, cutting Kathy and Rosie out like cancer, and the ill-fated trip to Vermont where a certain ass is threatened to get raged on. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, we welcome back friend of the podcast Macy Nyman to help us dissect the ill-fated RHONJ reboot that is Season Six. We discuss the return of Dina, the twins' shenanigans, the first responders' party, hair-pulling, Amber & Jim, "the cancer," the Kathy & Jacqueline sideshow, fighting like a girl, sleeping with your mother-in-law and, of course, Teresa going to jail... Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives TW: Assault and domestic abuse

This week, we're taking a break from RHONJ to talk Bravo's newest literary venture, "Not All Diamonds and Rosé" by Dave Quinn. The “Paradise Lost” of our times, its undeniably epic in scope and scale. It's sprawling, it's ostentatious, it's candid, it's funny, it's tragic, and it's a legitimization of our longtime thesis that these shows are truly literary. We talk the origins of The Real Housewives, the importance of Tamra Judge, the Housewives that didn't take part in the book (we're looking at you, Bethenny), and those whose voices leapt off the page. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, we take a look at Season Five, where the seemingly endless Giudice-Gorga saga is put to bed (for now at least) as we all take a trip to Lake George for some healing group therapy. And a fist fight! We talk retreats, team-building, how Bravo treats physical fighting, apologies, Kim D's protégées: Penny, Jennifer, and Jan, the Arizona trip, Johnny the Greek, and miracle-worker-cum-fembot Dr. V. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, we're wrapping up the gargantuan Season Four by taking an in-depth look at "Strippergate" and its ensuing fallout at the Reunion. We talk Angelo and his "salon," Kim D's new hairdo, the Posche Fashion Show, the Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa, Rosie's Reunion meltdown, and much more. Enjoy! Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

Hello from not-so-sunny LA! This week, we're together in person and we're talking all about Season Four's premier villain, Joe Giudice. We discuss the husbands' confessionals, the fall-out from the Teresa-Jacqueline fight, fambily therapy, Kathy's mother's pizzelles, the Napa Trip, Caroline versus Teresa, that phone call, and the c-word heard around the world... Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, Teresa Giudice is the most famous person in the world and everybody hates her. We talk Teresa's Faustian deal with the devil in exchange for fame, magazine covers, freakin' jealousy, the summer solstice fight, Teresa's love of pictures and cliché, and of course, her epic breakup with Jacqueline. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, we finish off our study of Season 3, and we're thinking about so many things... Among them: rival Thanksgiving dinners, Monica Chacon, the greatest Christmas party of all time, the runs, Kim G's swan song, the Wakiles, Gia and her musical prowess/cry for help, and the longest stretch of Christmas-themed episodes known to man... Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

Danielle may be gone, but her chaotic spirit remains as we kick off a new season of New Jersey appropriately enough with a punch-up at a baby's Christening! We say hello to Melissa and Joe Gorga, we discuss Teresa's slow slide into villainy, her latent sexual desire for her brother, Joe Giudice's seething jealousy, and his Machiavellian attempts to break up the Gorga family. It's all very Shakespearean. And operatic. And Greek tragic, of course. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week we wrap up Season Two of RHONJ by taking a look at the Posche Fashion Show and its ensuing fall out. We talk 2000s Jersey fashions, Kim D's skunk hair, foreclosure, hair extensions, Danielle's horrific breasts, and the fall of Jersey's number one flip-flopper: Kim G. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, we discuss the Danielle v. Dina showdown at Chakra, "spicy editing", suit-shopping for Danny, leaked sex tapes, Danielle's quest to reclaim her sexy, Donna, Posche's most gormless sales associate, and Kim G's struggle to climb up a stripper pole. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

It's a brand new season in New Jersey, and Danielle's out for blood. We talk Danielle's game plan going into the new season, stalking the Manzos, Christine's modeling luncheon, Kim G, Danny Proventzano, Hell's Angels, and a charity fundraiser for a baby with cancer. All very uneventful stuff. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week on the season premiere of "The Housewives Archives," we head back east to say hello to our new batch of Housewives! We discuss RHONJ's humble beginnings, the Season One taglines, the importance of "fambily," Château, Jersey interior décor and, of course, the table flip. Plus, we dissect the biggest storyline of Season One, New Jersey's resident pariah and the little book that haunts her wherever she goes: "Cop Without a Badge." Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

This week, for the world's most tenuous Christmas special, we head to the snow-capped mountains of Salt Lake City for a one-off look at Bravo's newest cohort of beloved psychopaths. We discuss the major misfire that was Season One Jen Shah, we psychoanalyze SLC's resident cult leader, Mary Cosby, we pick apart the mystery that is Meredith Marks' cleavage and the destined failure that is Brooks Marks, and we laud the true unsung hero of RHOSLC and the world's worst manipulator, Lisa Barlow. And of course it wouldn't be Christmas without reliving the infamous Jen Shah arrest in the Beauty Lab + Laser parking lot. God bless us, everyone. Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

It's bittersweet over here at the Housewives Archives as we reunite for our very first in-person episode - and it also happens to be the season finale! This week, we discuss Real Housewives: Ultimate Girls Trip, Sex and the City, RHOSLC, Ellie's first Thanksgiving, Zarin Fabrics, and our ill-fated trip to the world-famous Regency... Plus, we reveal where we're headed for season three of the Housewives Archives! Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

Look at her. Look at her fucking life... This week, we cover the demise of Erika Jayne/Girardi as we know it. We talk the beginning of her marriage to Tom Girardi, widows and orphans, Sutton, mascara, remorse, Erika's most recent Reunion performance, and trolling the Instagram trolls. Plus, we predict what the future holds for Erika. Will she bounce back unharmed, or will this be the last we ever see of Erika? Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives

She's an enigma wrapped in a riddle, wrapped in cash, wrapped in a Moschino T-shirt dress. This week, we talk sex, fashion, Erika's nasty side, incidental music, daddy issues, singing, "nakedity" and alter egos. Plus, we meet our vocal match when we try to nail down the ever elusive "Erika voice" Instagram.com/HousewivesArchives