Transitions with Bonnie Hutchinson

For most of my life, I’ve been frightened of anger. For much of my life, I didn’t recognize my own anger. This week, in part triggered by the US election, I’ve been reflecting on anger – my own and other people’s.

For most of my life, I’ve been frightened of anger. For much of my life, I didn’t recognize my own anger. This week, in part triggered by the US election, I’ve been reflecting on anger – my own and other people’s.

I don’t comment on politics in this newsletter, and I’m not going to start now. EXCEPT – It’s two days after the American presidential election. Yesterday, everywhere I went (in a Canadian city!) it’s all anyone was talking about. This morning my inbox was full of more commentary. Here’s some of what I’ve been thinking. I hope it’s relevant to you, and in alignment with the purpose of this newsletter.

Six friends gathered for dinner and conversation. Our hostess had Stargazer lilies – in this fall-into-winter season. What a treat!

So there I was, on the way to a couple of simple errands in a shopping mall in December, feeling completely neutral. I began to feel twinges of anxiety in the pit of my stomach. Instantly I thought of several things to be anxious about. (Never a shortage of those!) At the same time, none of the things I thought of seemed like what was causing the anxiety.

The scene: a workshop with about 70 participants from four continents. The incident Part 1: One of the workshop leaders disclosed something painful that was happening in his life. He said he wanted us to be aware of the situation but he did not want to discuss it with any of us. Specifically, he asked that we not approach him with condolences, advice, our similar experiences, questions or anything else. He asked us just to take in the information. Period.

A ton of hard data tells us that, however we might feel, in Canada, US, UK and Australia (countries where readers of this newsletter live), we have never in recorded history been safer or less vulnerable to violence or life-threatening illness. Our life expectancy is greater and risk of harm from physical danger is smaller than ever before.

A ton of hard data tells us that, however we might feel, in Canada, US, UK and Australia (countries where readers of this newsletter live), we have never in recorded history been safer or less vulnerable to violence or life-threatening illness. Our life expectancy is greater and risk of harm from physical danger is smaller than ever before.

When I was a child, I was told to “Count your blessings.” The advice didn’t make me happy. It was usually said when I wanted something I didn’t have. The advice and whatever blessings I noticed felt to me like the consolation prize – what I settled for instead of what I really wanted. “Count your blessings” was right up there with cod liver oil – things that are supposedly good for you that feel wretched. I have a different perspective now.

From an early age, I have preferred the light: daytime rather than nighttime, sunny rather than cloudy, clarity rather than ambiguity.

I’m standing at the top of a wide valley, looking across at a wall of trees. On this warm September day, I see the yellow and gold leaves emerging, and the darker green of evergreens. As I scan, I see a splash of brilliant red. Breathtaking!

I loved watching a TEDx talk by Michelle Poler called “100 Days without Fear.” At the time, I was co-leading a series of webcasts called “Dancing with Fear,” so it was especially relevant, not just for me but for the program I was presenting. Michelle Poler began her talk by saying this was her one hundredth day of tackling one fear a day. Her one hundredth fear was giving a TEDx talk!

In a conversation with my Sacred Circle – five friends who meet once a month for “check-in” and a spirit-enriching ceremony – we were talking about those bleak times when sadness and despair seem to overpower all our excellent self-care practices.

Recently, I spent an entire afternoon in a Japanese garden. As soon as I stepped through the gates I could myself relaxing (and I didn’t know I wasn’t relaxed). A sense of peace descended as I walked the paths and took in the greenery, the rocks, the water, the quiet. I sat for a long time in one of the resting places, enjoyed when someone would sound the deep gong, and just took it in.

Bonnie discusses an article in the Huffington Post that talks about the 8 benefits that meditation can give to improve our lives, as well as, how to find ways to incorporate it into our daily lives.

On the night that my father died suddenly and unexpectedly, and we had finished with the things that needed to happen immediately and were back in my mother’s home, here is one of the things my mother said:

My Go-To Feng Shui person is Katie Weber. I appreciated her article on ways to apply feng shui principles to ourselves as well as to our physical spaces. With Katie’s permission, I’m pleased to share her article with you. ~ Bonnie

I once said to my mother, “It’s easy for you. You have self-discipline!” I was an adult at the time. (I would never have said anything like that to my mother when I was still living at home.) I meant it as a joke, and my mother laughed – sort of. On reflection, it wasn’t a joke. She did have self-discipline. I did not and do not...

This quote made me laugh out loud. I’ll tell you why in a minute. “There is no more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision, and for whom the lighting of every cigar, the drinking of every cup, the time of rising and going to bed every day, and the beginning of every bit of work, are subjects of express volitional deliberation. Full half the time of such a man goes to the deciding, or regretting, of matters which ought to be so ingrained in him as practically not to exist for his consciousness at all.” ~ William James: Psychology: Briefer Course Running across William James’ quote about “There is no more miserable human being…” made me laugh out loud for two reasons.

I may have mentioned (once or twice or more!) my summer plans – finish a book called “No Regrets: Things I Learned at My Mother’s Knee and Other Joints” and create a new program about moving through transitions. I had delightful conversations with people who were going to participate in the summer program. I knew (mostly) what was going into the book, which is partly written. And then…

In the early days when my parents began a weekly paper in our small town, cash flow was a constant concern. Their lifeline was a line of credit at the local branch of a national bank.

My friend Mary Johnson of mary@bridgeworkscoaching.ca recently had the privilege of introducing Amanda Lindhout at a speaker series presentation during the Certified Professional Accountants Elevate celebrations. I was so impressed with Mary’s story of Amanda’s message that I asked Mary if I could use her story in this newsletter. I’ll let Mary take it from here…

A few weeks ago I had about a two-week run of technical difficulties. First it was spam. Over the past year, one of my e-mail addresses has gone from getting an occasional spam message to literally hundreds every day.

Three quick stories, and then I will make a point!

Many cultures and spiritual traditions include some form of meditation. Go online and you’ll find thousands of sites with more information. A definition of meditation. When I say “meditate” I mean any practice that enables you to find a still and quiet place within where you feel calm and open to inner wisdom. When I say “meditative state” I mean a mental and emotional condition in which you feel calm and are open to experience inner wisdom and higher intelligence.

Brain research adds credibility to advice that sports coaches, business mentors and manifestation gurus have been recommending for decades: to visualize or imagine a desired experience as one way to help bring that desired experience into physical reality.

Many years ago, I was told that when the indigenous people of North America were making a decision for the tribe, they considered how their decision would affect the next seven generations.

Last week I wrote about a sunlamp experience that started out grumpy and ended up happy. I received a delightful note from a reader. Here’s what she said:

I have low expectations of large companies. In the past week, I had experiences with a telecom and an airline that made me think that, whatever these two large companies value, it’s certainly not their customers. It’s good that a few weeks ago I had a happier experience with a large national company.

I’ve had a ton of “input” in the past week and a half. Here are just a few examples.

At a friend’s home, I picked up a little book by Michael Mirdad called You’re Not Going Crazy, You’re Just Waking Up: The Five Stages of the Soul Transformation Process and began to flip through it. I had to stop flipping because my friend and I were having a conversation, but I didn’t want to put the book down.

For any organization to thrive, teams need to work together effectively. Google has done extensive research into the skills and character traits of a “dream team.”

During times of transition, I often think of the life cycle of the butterfly. A butterfly lays an egg. The egg hatches into a caterpillar. The caterpillar eats and grows bigger, then spins itself a cocoon. Sometime later, the cocoon breaks open and what emerges is a butterfly. Magical!

“I stopped watching the news,” a friend said, “because it was so scary and depressing. But I want to be informed. Lately I’ve been watching documentaries. I thought they would be more objective and neutral and not upset me so much. But after a weekend of watching documentaries, learning more about how we’re running out of water, and horrible things happening all around the world, I’m left thinking the world really is a terrible place.” This friend is one of the sunniest people I know – usually.

One of my favourite people recently confided in me, “I was wearing my Bat Woman underwear!” We both started to laugh. She had a difficult meeting with the most senior person in her workplace. In addition to all the other ways she prepared for the meeting, her secret weapon was Bat Woman underwear.

Over the weekend I had the great joy of attending the musical My Fair Lady. It was presented by the Churchmice Players, an amateur theatre group in my home town of Camrose, Alberta. It was a fabulous evening on so many levels, starting with I like George Bernard Shaw’s play Pygmalion on which the musical is based.

So there I was, minding my own business, in a completely neutral state of mind, walking down a shopping mall to do some errands. I began to feel anxious. I noticed the knot in my stomach, a sense of uneasiness, slower shallow breathing. I could think of several things to be anxious about, but it didn’t seem like any of them were what the anxiety was about. I was puzzled. And of course, that made me more anxious.

When I still had teenagers living at home, I used to watch the news regularly. As I watched, I would do a running rant. I’d talk back to the announcer about how useless a story was. I’d pontificate about what the government should be doing. I’d argue with people who were interviewed. I’d go on about how appalling a certain situation was.

Whenever I think about Valentine’s Day, and expressing love, I remember an interview in which author Toni Morrison talked about how we express love to children.

Groundhog Day was earlier this week and it reminded me of two things: a childhood reaction and a movie. I didn’t expect the places that Groundhog Day took me.

“I’m not making this up,” my friend and colleague said. She was telling me a story about how, earlier this year, she and her team had come to the conclusion they would no longer work with a major client.

Yesterday was Martin Luther King Day in the U.S. Though his work was in the U.S., he was a hero and role model for many of us outside of the U.S. and around the world. More than 45 years after his death and 50 years after his historic “I Have a Dream” speech, his words and writings are as relevant and inspiring today as they were when he lived.

I’m still hearing “Happy New Year!” which always lifts my spirits. Recently I was interested to learn that illness is not the only thing that can be contagious. A study has found that that happiness can spread like a virus. Really! Friends, spouses, siblings and neighbors influence each other’s happiness when they become happy themselves – if they see each other regularly. These effects extend to three degrees of separation in social networks. In other words, if you are in contact with happy people, you are more likely to be happy yourself. And if the people around you also have contact with happy people, so much the better.

You may not remember – or even have been born then! – but 1982 was the bottom of a recession. I remember because in 1982 I was thinking of leaving my “secure” government job (which was slowly killing me) and starting a business.

In ancient Rome, Janus was the god of beginnings and transitions. Janus was usually depicted as having two faces looking to the future and the past.

This week’s feature is a guided meditation: “Light-hearted, light-filled.” It’s about eight and a half minutes long and I encourage you to listen. The sound is more powerful than the words. Here’s a summary.

This morning I began my work day with tears running down my face! And that felt like a good thing. When I opened my e-mail, there was WestJet’s annual Christmas video. WestJet is an airline based in Western Canada. For the past several years, during the holiday season they have done something to celebrate the Spirit of Giving.

It’s a busy season for lots of us. But in the midst of lots of opportunities for hustle and bustle, yesterday I made a counter-intuitive choice. Besides the usual events and busy-ness of the season, I was aware that some emotional ups and downs of the past year were lurking in the reeds, but didn’t expect that to have much impact.

It’s American Thanksgiving this week, and I’m giving thanks for SO many things. Giving thanks is a celebration and celebration flows out of two high-vibration energies: appreciation and gratitude.

Instead of a feature article this week, I’ve recorded a guided visualization called “Flame of Hope.” The words below are a condensed version of the guided visualization, which is 17 minutes 31 seconds long.

I’d been experiencing, studying and learning about transitions for years when a friend sent me a diagram that made everything fall into place. The diagram looked like a figure 8 on its side – sort of like the symbol of infinity. Around the diagram were words that perfectly reflected my experience of transitions. Woo Hoo!