Podcasts about surprised

Share on
Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Share on Reddit
Share on LinkedIn
Copy link to clipboard

Emotional state experienced as the result of an unexpected event

  • 3,349PODCASTS
  • 4,733EPISODES
  • 36mAVG DURATION
  • 2DAILY NEW EPISODES
  • Aug 11, 2022LATEST
surprised

POPULARITY

20122013201420152016201720182019202020212022


Best podcasts about surprised

Show all podcasts related to surprised

Latest podcast episodes about surprised

Curious Creatures
Decorum Came Later

Curious Creatures

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 11, 2022 31:00 Very Popular


What Letters have we got today? asks Lol with Soto Voice One from his brother with praise for Cured and parental tales of choiceBudgie became a member of many clubs, to get letters in the post, TV21 was always best with Gerry Anderson as hostEugene Huffman loves the Podcast – he was always a Banshees Boy. But the Creatures' Anima Animus has become his overwhelming Joy. The Banshees had a nucleus of Budgie, Sev and Sioux.The Creatures merged electric with brass and woodwind tooLeonard Eto and Budgie recorded drums in a studio extraneous.Hai! is solid evidence that the best stuff is spontaneous. Anima Animas began to feel like Banshees and Creatures combined Between France and New York City is where the two sounds realignedThe Relief of just being the Drummer, not having to manage the Band, Made Music an Adventure of Love once more – Beauty from a grain of sand Lol and Budgie feel Relations Manifesting! Concentric Circles and Chemistry make Life more Interesting! Josephina - Jo, wants to know more, about teens that love The Banshees and The Cure.Will S thought it would be weird and disturbed, if as teens we liked music that our parents preferred!What relevance transforming from Teen to Maturity?Is the language of Music still a Universal surety?Modern Art began in 1912 - Marcel Duchamp playing chess.How old was William Shakespeare - did he ever wear a dress?Budgie ‘has a thing' for Shawn the Sheep and Selling England by The Pound Lol ‘still digs' The Lamb Lies Down and its Magical Mystical Punky Sound!Keith from the Void asks about the ring of the Ludwig steel Black Beauty snare With longer sticks and a bigger kit would Andy Partridge even care?Budgie met Phil Collins in a BBC TOTP Bathroom. Are we Surprised? Not really!Decorum Came Later  CONNECT WITH US:Curious Creatures:Website: https://curiouscreaturespodcast.comFacebook: @CuriousCreaturesOfficialTwitter: @curecreaturesInstagram: @CuriousCreaturesOfficialLol Tolhurst: Website: https://loltolhurst.comFacebook: @officialloltolhurst Twitter: @LolTolhurst Instagram: @lol.tolhurst Budgie: Facebook: @budgieofficial Twitter: @TuWhit2whooInstagram: @budgie646Curious Creatures is a partner of the Double Elvis podcast network. For more of the best music storytelling follow @DoubleElvis on Instagram or search Double Elvis in your podcast app.

The Trinity Baptist Church Podcast
The Joy Of A Grateful Heart

The Trinity Baptist Church Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 11, 2022 30:13


Surprised by Joy Philippians 4:10-20 Air date: 08_07_22

The Trinity Baptist Church Podcast
The Joy Of A Peaceful Mind

The Trinity Baptist Church Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2022 40:20


Surprised by Joy Philippians 4:1-2 Air date: 07_31_22

Cougar Tracks
Gabe Jeudy-Lally surprised by BYU camp compared to SEC Country

Cougar Tracks

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2022 0:57


Cougar Tracks updates on KSL NewsRadio are back for the 2022 football season. Tune in to KSL NewsRadio at 5:55 am, 7:55 am, 3:55 pm, and 5:55 pm for daily Cougar Tracks updates courtesy of KSL Sports BYU Insider Mitch Harper. Subscribe to the Cougar Tracks Podcast! Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cougar-tracks/id1146971609 Google Play: https://kslsports.com/category/podcast_results/?sid=2035&n=Cougar%20Tracks Download the KSL Sports app Google: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.bonneville.kslsports&hl=en_US iOS: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ksl-sports/id1435930251See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Trinity Baptist Church Podcast
The Joy Of Spiritual Maturity

The Trinity Baptist Church Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2022 31:58


Surprised by Joy Philippians 3:1-15 Air date: 07_24_22

The Trinity Baptist Church Podcast
The Joy Of Living Under The Cross

The Trinity Baptist Church Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2022 33:31


Surprised by Joy Philippians 2:1-11 Air date: 07_10_22

The Trinity Baptist Church Podcast
The Joy Of Unselfish Service

The Trinity Baptist Church Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2022 30:53


Surprised by Joy Philippians 2:12-18 Air date: 07_17_22

Colleen & Bradley
8/10 Wed Hr 3: PIZZA'S COURT: Are we surprised that Domino's failed in Italy?

Colleen & Bradley

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2022 29:20


PLUS: Is Pete Davidson seeking trauma therapy? AND CSI: Noisy poultry

The Trinity Baptist Church Podcast
The Joy Of Christian Affection

The Trinity Baptist Church Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2022 30:41


Surprised by Joy Philippians 1:3-11 06_26_22

RNZ: Morning Report
Former New Plymouth mayor not surprised no candidates for Māori ward

RNZ: Morning Report

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2022 3:35


A former New Plymouth mayor says he can understand why no one has put their hand up to stand for the city's Māori ward.  Andrew Judd championed the establishment of the ward but he questions why anyone would want to serve alongside people who want the position disestablished.  Taranaki Whanganui reporter Robin Martin has more.

The Best of the Sports Shop
You may not be surprised by this, because the Sports Shop is most certainly not, but Kevin Durant is back in the news again.

The Best of the Sports Shop

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 9, 2022 30:19


You may not be surprised by this, because the Sports Shop is most certainly not, but Kevin Durant is back in the news again. Do ultimatums EVER work?? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Unbelievable?
Podcast special: Ask NT Wright Anything - Surprised By Hope

Unbelievable?

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 9, 2022 23:23


Justin presents a mid-week taster episode of our popular Ask NT Wright Anything podcast. This episode saw Tom Wright answer listener questions about salvation and new creation from his popular book 'Surprised By Hope'.   Subscribe to the Ask NT Wright Anything podcast: https://pod.link/1441656192 See episodes at our website: https://www.premierunbelievable.com/shows/ask-nt-wright-anything   • More shows, free eBook & newsletter: https://premierunbelievable.com • For live events: http://www.unbelievable.live • For online learning: https://www.premierunbelievable.com/training-and-events • Support us in the USA: http://www.premierinsight.org/unbelievableshow • Support us in the rest of the world: https://www.premierunbelievable.com/donate

Baseball Today
The Twins have every right to be pissed about this call

Baseball Today

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 8, 2022 27:50 Very Popular


Chris Rose and Trevor Plouffe discuss the hottest topics in baseball including the Mets taking 4 of 5 from the Braves, a tough replay overturn against the Twins, sweeps by the Dodgers and Cardinals, the Phillies turnaround, and more! 00:00 INTRO 01:50 Mets take 4 out of 5 from the Braves 06:11 Twins are rightfully mad at this call 11:42 Get 25% OFF @trueclassic with promo code TODAY at https://trueclassictees.com/TODAY 13:54 Cards sweep Yanks, Dodgers sweep Padres 19:15 Surprised at the Phillies turnaround under Rob Thompson? 23:12 Fireworks gone wrong!

Charting Toward Intimacy
82: NFP Through the Seasons: TTA (Trying to Avoid) In General

Charting Toward Intimacy

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 8, 2022 24:40


Welcome to our NFP through the seasons series! We'll go from Adolescence to Perimenopause and everything in between.This week's topic is NFP use when Trying to Avoid (TTA) in general. Jen and Logan of Surprised by Marriage join us this week. Check out their resources: https://surprisedbymarriage.com/I offer NFP/FA Mindset coaching and NFP Method Match coaching! Wondering what that is? Check out episode 62 or book a free 10 minute discovery call.If you are interested in booking a coaching session with me, click here for NFP/FA mindset coaching and click here for method match coaching.Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or chartingtowardintimacy@gmail.com

Crossings Community Church - Audio
Summer in the Psalms (Surprised by Darkness?)

Crossings Community Church - Audio

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 8, 2022 31:46


Crossings Community Church crossings.church Pastor Marc Taylor August 7, 2022

Crossings Community Church - Audio
Summer in the Psalms (Surprised by Darkness?)

Crossings Community Church - Audio

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 8, 2022 31:46


Crossings Community Church crossings.church Pastor Marc Taylor August 7, 2022

Sportsday
Sam McClure says the Buddy Franklin situation is very "un-Sydney like" and is surprised by the whole saga - Monday August 8

Sportsday

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 8, 2022 3:49


Gerard, Sam and Matthew Lloyd discuss the details regarding Buddy Franklin and the contract talks with the Sydney Swans

This Teacher Life
3 Game Changing Ideas That Will Change Your School Year-Prepare to Be Surprised (Summer Replay Episode)

This Teacher Life

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 7, 2022 20:24 Very Popular


Do you have a sharpie marker in your classroom?  If so, I've got an engaging idea for you! Do you have even one piece of technology in your classroom? If so, I've got an engaging idea for you. Do you have students in your classroom for at least 1 minute? Of course you do! So, I've for an engaging idea for you. 3 ideas will come your way in this episode that is all about being a Game Changer for kids. If you are looking for ways to boost student engagement and increase student motivation, this episode is for you! Episode Links: Get 180 FULL SEL Lessons in 180 Days of Awesome SEL: monicagenta.com/180SEL Sign Up for Monica's Mailing List and get TONS of FREE Resources Sent Out All Summer Long! https://bit.ly/MonicaGenta Earn up to 60 hours of PD in the Awesome Academy! Check out these AWESOME, Virtual Teacher Courses: monicagenta.com/awesomeacademy Get a free PDF copy of Monica's Book Crushing It For Kids Here: http://bit.ly/MonicaGenta Want some Awesome PD At Your School? Let's Connect:  http://monicagenta.com/pd Connect with Monica on social media: Instagram: instagram.com/monicagentaed/ TikTok: tiktok.com/@monicagentaed Facebook: facebook.com/MonicaGentaEd Twiiter: twitter.com/monicagentaed

Music City Church
Surprised by Myself

Music City Church

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 7, 2022 36:50


Northland Messages
Don't be Surprised

Northland Messages

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 7, 2022 33:42


John 15:18-25

My Amazon Guy
Working Remote at My Amazon Guy

My Amazon Guy

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 5, 2022 5:36


Arielle Young shares her testimonial about working at My Amazon Guy. See behind the glass door of My Amazon Guy. Working Remote at My Amazon Guy00:00 Working Remote at MAG00:02 Introduction about me00:19 Jobs handled before MAG01:09 I Felt like I wasn't valued and appreciated01:39 Pandemic happened and I lost my job02:28 Came across My Amazon Guy's internship job listing02:34 I almost didn't apply because I am an alien to eCommerce 03:32 I am overwhelmed with the new terminologies04:02 Everyone at MAG was so supportive04:23 There is no judgment that I came in with nothing!04:35 Surprised that they valued my ideas and my perspective04:44 They've asked me to join the Creative Team upon learning of my artistic background04:50 I am now actually the Creative Team Lead04:56 I have learned so much that I would never go back!05:14 I'd recommend MAG to anyone that takes pride in their work05:33 I hope you'd join our team here at MAG**************************************************************************

Rochester Today
Minneapolis Fed Banker Continually Surprised by High Inflation Rport

Rochester Today

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 4, 2022 39:18


Tom and Andy talk about the Minnesota Fed Banker's recent comments, the strife caused by a Minneapolis homeless camp, and the reaction to Nancy Pelosi's Taiwan visit.

The OTP: Official Titans Podcast
The OTP | MTSU Surprised Kevin Byard by Retiring his Jersey

The OTP: Official Titans Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 4, 2022 54:19


The inside story of how MTSU surprised Kevin Byard by retiring his jersey, on The OTP presented by Farm Bureau Health Plans.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Steamy Stories Podcast
Home for Horny Monsters: Romancing the Stone -

Steamy Stories Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 3, 2022


Home for Horny Monsters: Romancing the Stone - The magic screen, deserted fountain, and the mandragora. (part 4)By writerannabelle.  Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. A chill went up his spine at the thought of the banshee. He needed to make nice with her, and he thought he had a good way to do it. He placed his hand on the top rail of the stairs, looking down the rest of the hall. Two doors on each side of the hall and a tall, ebony wardrobe with a silver handle.Had that wardrobe always been there?The sound of breaking glass startled him. He ran down the stairs and into the kitchen to see Tink frowning at a busted bowl on the floor. She blushed when she saw him.“Tink got startled,” she explained, eying the bowl. “But Tink can fix.”“Don't bother.” Mike grabbed a broom and swept up the glass. “Bowls are easily replaced.” Tink nodded at this, following him into the kitchen. Mike pulled the box of Eggos out of the freezer.“Are those good?” Tink asked. Mike nodded, shoving them in the toaster.“Eggos? The best, as long as you know how to dress them up properly.” Pulling a tub of butter from the fridge, he set syrup and peanut butter next to it. When the toaster popped, he stacked the Eggos on his plate, slathering them first in butter, then peanut butter. He topped them with some syrup, handing them to Tink. “Try that and let me know what you think?”Tink took the plate, sniffing at the Eggos. “Tink not so sure,” she informed him before picking up an Eggo. She bit into it, syrup and peanut butter running down her chin.“So what do you think?” Mike asked.“Tink think goblin husband learn to cook.” She handed the plate back to Mike. “Tink need real food.” She opened the fridge, standing on her tiptoes to see to the back. Her double nipples perked up under the cold air. “Tink like pizza.”“Well, we're out of pizza, but maybe this will help.” Mike pulled a bag of pizza rolls out of the freezer. “We can cook these up in a hurry.”“Use oven. Microwave is lazy.” Tink took the bag from him, reading the instructions. “Tink can do this. Mike eat Eggo things.”“Fair enough.” Clearly, he and Tink had different tastes in food. He made a pot of coffee, which Tink happily shared with him while they waited. Tink unceremoniously dumped the whole bag onto a pan, and Mike sighed inwardly. When he had bought food yesterday, he hadn't accounted for another mouth to feed. Tink found a pad of paper in one of the drawers and was busy jotting notes to herself as the pizza rolls cooked. Mike dug through a collection of inbound emails, mostly job related, when he saw one from the Historical Preservation Society.Curious, he clicked the link. The writer of the email laid out all sorts of reasons why they wanted to buy the place, but Mike didn't bother reading it. He trashed the file after only a few sentences.“Show Tink.” The goblin appeared between him and the laptop, her head blocking his view. “Show Tink how to use magic screen.”“I'll show you later. What did you put on the list?” Tink handed him the paper. Her handwriting was surprisingly elegant, a cursive lettering that made him think of wedding invitations. Scanning the list, Mike felt a hard lump form in his throat. Every line of the paper was full with something that needed fixing. “You found all of these things wrong already?”“Tink know some from before.” The oven beeped, and Tink left his side to retrieve her breakfast. Mike couldn't help but watch her as she inspected each roll carefully between her claws before popping them in her mouth. “Before big sleep, Tink keep journal on broken stuff, but Emily not always buy Tink supplies. Bad ladies won't let her, she tell Tink.”“Bad ladies?” Mike thought of the email. “Oh, the historical society. Yeah, we have to be careful doing repairs, apparently. This place is on a national registry, and we have to follow the rules or…”Or what? That was a question for Beth, obviously. What was to keep him from doing whatever he wanted to the house? Some of the items on list were simple enough, and he didn't see any harm in letting Tink work on them.“Hey Tink.” Tink, her mouth full of pizza rolls, tilted her head at him. “This thing right here. I'm planning to take care of that.”Tink nodded her head, swallowing pizza rolls. “You do good job, or Tink be mad.”“Yeah.” He didn't need any more people mad at him. “Do we have the supplies for this?”“Tink show you.” The goblin led him out to the garage, where he once again navigated the maze of boxes.“Are these books yours?” he asked.“No. Tink read sometime, but not these. These belong to-” Tink stopped walking, her eyes going blank. “That strange. Tink forget.”“Not that strange,” Mike muttered. Tink led him down to her dwelling beneath the garage. Mike tilted his head to fit, listening carefully as Tink described her organization system. She opened various drawers and boxes, showing Mike how everything fit together like a Tetris game from hell. Opening the third box, Mike held up a hand in surrender.“Tink, you don't live down here anymore. If it's possible, could we take these things out of the boxes and use the very nice tool benches upstairs?”“Tink make trade. Mike move books out, Tink move tools back.”“Deal.” He kissed Tink on the forehead, the little goblin's face turning a darker shade of green. “But that's a job for a different day. Right now, I need some WD-40, a couple of screwdrivers, and those shears I bought.”Tink dug through the boxes, pulling out the things Mike needed, and stuffing them into a small toolbox she slid out from under her own bench. She threw in some extra items, then handed it to Mike. “You go fix, Tink check pipes.”“You got it.” Mike left the goblin behind, smiling at the sound of Tink humming a little song to herself. He cast a look back, briefly watching her assemble her own box of tools. He picked his way through the garage, briefly wondering if the garage door would even open if he tried. Deciding that he wasn't feeling adventurous enough to chance it, he took the long route through the house, stepping out into the real world on the front porch.The swing swayed back and forth, squeaking incessantly, but an actual breeze was passing through, which meant Mike had no idea if Cecilia was there. There was an easy way to find out.“Hello? Cecilia?” He moved closer to the swing, fighting the urge to shut his eyes. It was like watching a scary movie, and knowing that the scary part was coming. “Are you out here?” The swing swayed gently, no sign of slowing down. If the banshee was gone, that would make the process that much easier. He approached the swing, grabbing the chain and unhooking it from the frame, lowering it to the ground. When nothing bad happened, he inspected the eye hook at the top of the chain.Sure enough, it had managed to wiggle partially free, the surface rusting over. Staring at the useless screwdrivers he had chosen, he found the wrench that Tink had tucked away for him. He laughed, using the wrench to twist the eyehook. Barely moving, he used a few sprays of the WD-40 to help move things along. It took him a few minutes, but he managed to yank it free.Using a rag in the toolbox, Mike gave the screw a good cleaning, scraping the rust off as best he could. Inspecting the screw, he looked inside the hole of the frame. It was caked with rust as well. He used one of the screwdrivers to clean it out as best he could, knocking loose quite a bit of rust and dirt. Sticking the eyebolt back in, he twisted it tightly into place. He gave it an experimental tug, and it held fast.“Here goes nothing,” he muttered, picking up the chain. Lifting his arm to reattach it, he felt the hairs on the back of his neck lift as the temperature dropped. Spinning in place, he saw that she was only a foot from him, her body hovering inches off the ground, both hands balled at her side. Her face a twisted mask, Cecilia took a deep breath and opened her mouth.“Wait!” Mike cried, dropping the chain and holding his hands in front of him. “Just hear me out!” He knelt down, lifting the chain and the bench, hooking it back through the eyebolt. Keeping a cautious eye on Cecilia, he sat down gently, wincing as he gave a gentle kick of his legs. The porch swing was silent, gliding back and forth with just the soft rustling of the frame above it. “I know that you like this swing, so I thought I would fix it for you.”Cecilia's ghostly features softened, her hands reaching out to touch the moving chain. She glided gently around Mike, sitting down beside him on the swing. The air by her skin was cool, and she closed her eyes, letting out a sigh.“Thank you,” she said, her voice soft with an Irish lilt to it. Milky eyes staring into the distance, her hand felt along the bench, resting on his knee. “I appreciate it.”“You're welcome. My name is Mike, by the way.” Mike tried to stand, but Cecilia squeezed his leg, holding him in place.“I'm sorry about before.” She turned her sightless eyes toward him. “Please stay with me for just a bit. I haven't had anyone to talk to in quite some time.”Mike could think of several things he wanted to do instead, but Cecilia's demeanor was not only drastically different, but he couldn't help but notice just how cute she was.“Okay, sure. I can stay for a bit.”“Thank you.” Cecilia rocked on the swing next to Mike, saying nothing for several minutes. Mike stared at the banshee, more than curious. Her white clothing was simple, but tailor made for her body, and her curls were as white as she was, though they terminated in eerie spikes that spread out around her as if she sat on a Van De Graaff generator.The chill of her hand was intense through his jeans. Uncomfortable, he slid his hand beneath hers, lifting it slightly.“I hope this is okay,” he told her, as a slight grin crossed her face.“You're the first man to hold my hand in many years,” she informed him. “The last one to do that was-” Her entire body flickered, like a shock had gone through her. “-someone whose name I can't remember.”“Yep.” Mike couldn't help but notice how soft her skin was. The longer he held her hand, the warmer she felt. “Now that you're not pissed at me, you don't seem very banshee-ish.”This elicited a frown from Cecilia. “A banshee is what I am, not how I act. It used to be something I was proud to be, a job I was proud to do.”“A job?”Cecilia nodded. “Every family had its own banshee. It was my job to guide them into the afterlife when they passed. Nobody loves a banshee for what they represent, but they needed us for what we did. Our wails of sorrow were to announce our coming, and we would guide the spirits into the ever after.”“So… the afterlife is real?”Cecilia nodded. “Very much so. When Emily passed, I was allowed to guide her soul to its resting place.”“That's, wow.” That was something to chew on, for certain. “What's it like?”Cecilia smiled. “You'll find out someday.”“To be honest, I try not to think of it much.” Mike winced. “I had a close call when I was younger.”“I can tell. Your soul has a certain polish to it.” Cecilia's face broke into a wicked smile. “Tell me, do you-” Cecilia flickered, vanishing from view at the creaking of the front steps. A woman in her forties walked slowly up the wooden stairs, accompanied by a much younger woman. Her long black hair was wound tightly in a bun, but there was plenty left over that it had been fashioned into a long braid beneath it. She wore a simple gray skirt with a modest white blouse. Her dark eyes found Mike, and she paused at the top of the stairs.“Are you Mr. Radley?” Her tone was formal, the question almost a command.“That's me.” Mike stood, walking across the porch. He was going to shake her hand, but his stomach clenched suddenly, sending pain through his gut. He grabbed the railing instead.“My name is Elizabeth. This is my daughter Sarah.” Sarah's dark hair scattered along the fabric of her red suit jacket, contrasting nicely in the sunlight. Her skirt matched her jacket, and a low cut top was accentuated by a shimmering blue stone pendant that dangled perilously between her large breasts. “We are from the Historical Preservation Society, and I was wondering if we could have a word with you.”Mike found his mouth inexplicable dry, his forced smile twitching. Something about Elizabeth made him more than uneasy, a gut feeling that he couldn't ignore. “Um, sure, I guess.”“Excellent, Mr. Radley.” Elizabeth stayed where she was, her eyes locked on Mike. Mike saw Sarah staring at the door of the house. “Maybe it would be best if we went inside?”Mike immediately thought of Tink wandering around the house in just a shirt and goggles. “I would prefer we speak out here, actually. It's a bit stuffy inside, and I wasn't expecting company.”“We can talk out here then.” Elizabeth held up a folder, and Mike immediately recognized it as identical to the one Beth had taken away with her yesterday. “I was informed yesterday evening by the estate agent that you declined our offer to buy this property without even looking at it.”“Um, yes, I did decline the offer.” It was odd, but he couldn't help but notice that Elizabeth stood on the top step of the porch rather than the actual porch. “I've decided to live here.”“By yourself?” Sarah asked, her predatory eyes scanning the windows. If Elizabeth was giving him a mad school principal vibe, then Sarah was a cop who had pulled him over and was ready to bust a taillight.“I've been by myself most of my life.” The feeling in his gut manifested now as a cold ball of ice. What the hell was going on? “I'm not sure why it would change anytime soon.”“Well, this is a pretty big place for just one man, Mr. Radley.” Elizabeth's smile didn't make it to her eyes. “And I can't help but be offended that you didn't even consider looking at our offer.” Sarah had taken a step back from her mother to get a better view of the second floor windows.“Why are you so interested in this place?” Mike asked, leaning against the rail.“It was one of the first homes built in the area,” Elizabeth told him. “Constructed by a mysterious architect, and paid for by an unknown benefactor. This home is a mystery hiding in plain site, and the Historical Preservation Society is interested in not only answering these questions, but preserving the home's original beauty.”“Well, if that's your primary concern, then you should know I have no intention of changing anything about this house.”“But caring for such a place will be hard for a single person, don't you agree Mr. Radley?” Sarah had backed down the steps all the way, squinting at the shadows under the porch.“I've already got someone to help with that.” Mike crossed his arms. “Can I help your daughter with something?”Sarah was crouched down, inspecting the bushes Mike had fallen into yesterday, gloved hands gently touching their branches. Surprised that Mike was watching her, she stood up suddenly.“She's been fascinated by this place since she was a little girl,” Elizabeth informed him. “I would like for you to actually look at our offer this time, Mr. Radley. Strongly consider it. I promise you that this home will only become a burden, one that the women of the Society will be more than happy to take on.” She held the folder out.“I'll look, but no promises.” Mike took the folder, and Elizabeth's finger briefly touched his. He felt a tiny spark, and suddenly Elizabeth's smile finally reached her eyes.“We'll be in touch,” she told him, moving off the steps and down the walkway to the street. Sarah smirked, following her mother out to a sports car parked partially on his driveway. He didn't bother waving as they roared back out of his driveway. The cold feeling in his stomach faded, leaving him alone with his thoughts.“What a couple of fucking weirdos,” he muttered, staring at the paper in his hands. He opened the file, revealing a set of legal documents and a monetary offer that was entirely too large. Mike couldn't help but notice that the offer they had supplied him pertained to the contents of the house as well.“Okay, gotcha.” Mike closed the folder and walked inside the house. Naia had made it very clear that there were people who wanted the home for its inhabitants (however many of them there were), and the odd behavior of Elizabeth and Sarah now made perfect sense.Well, almost. Obviously, Sarah was hoping to get a peek at one of the inhabitants, and her behavior had been anything but normal. Elizabeth acted pleasant enough, but he had recognized the mask she wore all too well. His own mother had donned it every time they needed a new place to sleep for the night, every time she needed to bargain just another week on the couch. This was a woman who was used to getting her way, and Mike wasn't playing along.He sat at his computer, pulling up the website for the Historical Preservation Society. There were several members, and a little digging revealed that Elizabeth and Sarah were indeed high ranking members. He frowned, staring at their smiling faces. Looking again at the folder, he tossed it in the trash. If those two knew there was more to the house than he was letting on, he needed to figure out how to divert their attention elsewhere.That could wait, however. He walked back out front, hoping to strike up another conversation with Cecilia, but the banshee didn't appear. Grabbing his toolbox, he wandered back through the house and out into the garden. The fountain was flowing freely now, and several small birds were bathing in the upper basin. Naia, floating in the water, had one hand in the air with two small finches chirping happily to her on her fingertips.“What are they saying?” Mike asked, setting down the toolbox. He couldn't help but notice that Naia's fountain was clean, but the surrounding area had been covered in dirt and muck from her blowing out the lines and overflowing the fountain yesterday.“They're telling me about the visitors you had,” Naia said, giving her hand a flick. The birds took flight, landing in the basin to join their brethren. “You felt sick around them, yes?”“Yeah. How did you know?”“That touch of precognition I told you about. Those women were trouble, and I could sense your apprehension.” Naia sat up, the water pushing her into a seated position. “What did they want?”“They want to buy the place. I think they know something is up, because one of them kept trying to peek in the windows.”“She wouldn't have seen anything if she had. Unless you invite someone in, the Gaes protects us from outside observation. Tink could stand naked in the doorway of the house, and it would appear empty to them.”“Spooky.” Mike sat on the edge of the fountain. “Yeah, when they wanted to come inside, I felt super uncomfortable.”“That's from the magic. Listen to it always.”Mike nodded. “Don't worry, I will. Oh, I talked with Cecilia. She didn't shriek at me this time, and we chatted a bit. That was kind of cool, not having the shit scared out of me.”Naia nodded. “Emily always told me that Cecilia was very kind.”“Yeah, well, it was nice to talk to her. Are all the monsters here like that? Are you all friendly?”Naia shrugged. “I want to say yes, but I can't say for certain. It would make sense that we all respond well to be taken care of-this was meant to be our haven, our stronghold. Gone are the days when monsters roamed the world freely. For many of us, that's a good thing though. Several of us treated mankind as a food source, or our playthings.”“Well, humans do the same thing to each other, actually.” Mike scowled at the water.“Like your mother?” Naia asked.Mike nodded. “In the worst way. I spent years thinking that she would one day love me back, accept me, show me kindness. I'm glad she's dead, but that makes me feel bad, so it's a cycle that can't really be broken. I'll never get that closure, so…” Mike shrugged. “It is what it is.”Naia sat next to Mike, running her hands down his arms. “I can think of a way to take your mind off of it,” she suggested.Mike laughed. “That sounds like an amazing offer, but if I'm going to take care of this place, I actually need to do some stuff first.” He pointed at the mud and dirt surrounding the fountain. “This is just gross, by the way.”“Trust me, I know. Having all of that stuck in the lines of my spring was like a sinus infection. Blowing it free was so refreshing.”“Do nymphs get sinus infections?” Mike asked.“No, but I'm inside your head. I know what one would feel like, lover.” She kissed his neck. “By the gate, there is a drain located beneath the bushes that leads out to the street. If you get a push broom, I'll flood the place again, and you can try and push it all over there.”“That's a pretty good idea, actually.” Mike checked the garage, finding what he needed almost right away. Tink may have squirreled away most of the tools, but the bigger things were all grouped together in their holder. Pulling down the large broom, he stepped back into the garden. Naia was doing her best impression of a leaf, floating in circles as the birds took turns landing on her fingers and chirping at her.“Are you ready?” She asked.“Not quite.” The statue tucked near the door had caught his attention again. “What do you know about this?”“Not much. It's buried in creeper vines.” Naia stood on the edge of the fountain. “It seems familiar though.”“Yeah. I bought some clippers.” Mike pulled them from the toolbox. “I've always had a fascination with statues. When I was a kid, there was a park with a bunch of sculptures, surrounded by a lake. I would go out onto this little island that you got to by a footbridge, and sit beneath the statues there.” Mike examined the vines, cutting them near the base of the statue and then unwinding them. “We would move all the time, so whenever we were close enough to the park, I would stop by and just sit with them for a while. There was one set of statues, three figures standing and a space between them as if a fourth one was missing. Sometimes, I would stand in that empty spot, willing myself to turn to stone for a hundred years and see where mankind ends up.”Mike worked quickly, cutting the vines free and peeling them off. It was almost half an hour before he had freed the statue from its leafy prison. It was a woman, head bowed and eyes closed. Her lower face and entire body was covered in a robe that clung tightly enough to her figure that he could run his hands across her breasts, the only indicator that she was a woman.“Well?” Naia asked.“Um, it's a statue.” Mike moved away so she could see it. “She's pretty, but whoever carved her didn't feel like fucking around with details. Still, at least she's freed from all this crap.” He tossed the vines into a pile. “What kind of plant is this anyway?”Mike held the free end of one of the vines he had cut, scrutinizing the tiny leaves growing off of it. The garden was full of random shrubs and mostly dead flowerpots, and they didn't match the vine he held. Strangely, the vine didn't seem to come from any of the shrubs either. Instead, it had wound its way around several of them to grow along the statue's surface. He gave the vine a tug, trying to follow it back to where it came from.The garden extended along the back of the house. The vines were pressed up against the house too, hidden behind the bushes growing along the outer wall. Walking farther, he stared up along the house's sides. He was fairly certain he was looking at the master bedroom window.The yard opened up, revealing a large grassy area. Vines were sprawled everywhere, pressing against the concrete wall that bordered the property and running up the side of the house. They all came from a greenhouse positioned in the corner of the property, three of its panels shattered out and allowing the vines through.“Ah geez.” Mike shook his head. How the fuck had he missed seeing a giant greenhouse? The tour Beth had given him on the first day hadn't been comprehensive by any means, but he figured even just a cursory glance out the window would have revealed this mess. The greenhouse was roughly the size of the garage, and each of the intact glass panels were smeared in dirt from the inside.No time like the present. MIke approached the door, the earth smells from inside making his nose wrinkle. The greenhouse door had a large, silver lever. He gave it a twist, frowning when it wouldn't budge. Rattling the door, he was frustrated when it wouldn't budge. Crouching for a better look, he saw that a key was needed.“Of course,” he muttered. He contemplated the creeper vines, wondering if he should chop them up or stuff them back in the greenhouse. On the one hand, chopping them up would be easy. On the other hand, he could kill the plant, and the thought of simply slicing up the vines gave him that weird feeling again in his gut.One of the vines twitched, flexing like a snake awakening from its nap.“Oh fuck!” The bundle of vines spasmed, recoiling enough that they spread across the lawn. Mike sprinted across the lawn toward the house, giving the vines a wide berth. Coming to the narrow gap between the wall and the house, he saw that the vines were withdrawing, spreading out and coiling around everything they touched. He hopscotched his way through them, timing his jumps to avoid touching them. The fountain came into sight, and Naia stood at its edge, her face a mask of concern.“What's going on?” she asked, her eyes on the retracting vines near the fountain. Her eyes met his just as the vines sprung up, a pair of them catching his legs.“Shit!” Mike pulled the shears from his back pocket, cutting at the vines that had ensnared him. Slicing himself free, more vines whipped around him, closing in and knocking the shears free from his grasp. He made it to the edge of the fountain just as his feet were pulled from underneath. Naia grabbed onto his wrists, trying to pull him into the water. Fingertips clutching the fountain, more of the creeper vines found him, spiraling up his legs and waist.“Mike!” Naia cried, his grip loosening on the fountain's edge. She held tightly to his arms, but the vines were simply too powerful. Yanked free of Naia's grasp, he was pulled across the yard, his fingers scraping at flagstones and dirt. Twisting on his back, he saw the greenhouse looming closer, hungry vines twisting in anticipation.“Help!” Mike screamed, grabbing the vines with his hands. They spiraled around his arms, pinning him in place. He was yanked through the windows of the greenhouse, the busted panes cutting his arms. “Fuck!”The foliage obscured his vision, and then suddenly, the space opened up. Opening his mouth to scream, it lodged in his throat when he realized that he was not so much inside the greenhouse, but somewhere else entirely. A brilliant, dark blue sky was above him, and the walls of the greenhouse terminated, revealing an entire jungle in every direction. Leaning forward, he saw that the vines were pulling him toward a rocky ledge.This was it. His brain had finally blown its last fuse. Was he even really here? Was he in bed? Was he in a mental institute, the weird guy who jerked off while pretending to fuck goblins and nymphs?The world filled with the sounds of shattering glass, and Mike heard something heavy hit the ground behind him. Crunching footsteps approached quickly, and the light above vanished behind a dark figure. The edge of the cliff loomed closer, the creature above him frantically swiping at vines with razor sharp talons. Vines whipped up at his savior, who didn't even flinch as they struck skin.Mike's arms were suddenly free, and he grabbed the figures ankle tightly. He was surprised to fill the cool, rough texture of stone beneath his skin, but couldn't care less. Right now, the person above him was winning.“Cut the ones down by my feet,” he said, pulling at the figure with both hands. More vines were whipping over the edge, grabbing at them both. “There are more coming up.”One foot was free, and then suddenly, the other. Yanked to his feet, they tried to run from the ledge of the cliff, but the creeper vines had created a wall of branches behind them, cutting off their escape.“Merde!” His savior swore, wrapping stony, feminine arms around him. He was lifted easily from the ground, and she jumped off the cliff, clutching him tightly. Wings, nearly twenty feet across, caught the air as they soared into the impossible sky. Mike gazed at the jungle below, easily miles across in every direction.“What is this place?” He shouted into the wind. His savior was struggling to climb into the sky, so they soared along the edge of the cliff toward a massive waterfall. Several rocky ledges traversed the falls like giant steps, and they landed quietly on one of them about halfway down.“It is the greenhouse.” Her voice carried a thick French accent. She released him, and he stepped back from her. Her giant wings wrapped gently around her stone body, her talons retracting into her hands. Her wings became a cloak, covering her naked skin. Her face was feminine, save for the wide set nose flattened against her face, her eyes dark like obsidian. Short, jet black hair was pulled back behind her slightly pointed ears. With her cloak back in place, Mike recognized the statue he had cleaned off.“Not the kind I am used to,” he said, pointing at the jungle. “This place is absolutely impossible.”“Not impossible. Improbable.” She crossed her arms. “And now, I must ask who you are and why you are here.”“I'm Mike. I inherited this place from my Great Aunt Emily.” Mike took a seat, the adrenaline finally wearing off. “I've only been here a couple of days.”“You are the new guardian? I see. That explains so much.” She looked across the cliffs at where the vines were hungrily whipping around, trying to find their prey. “That is the Mandragora. It must be pretty hungry to have broken out of the greenhouse. You will need to feed it soon.”Oh god. “What the hell does it eat?”“Meat, mostly. It also enjoys wine and cheese.”“How does a plant… you know what? It doesn't matter. Thank you for saving me.”“You are welcome.” She bowed her head at him. “My name is Abella. It is my job to protect the grounds of the house. When Emily died, I fell into a deep sleep, and apologize for not greeting you sooner.”“You were all wrapped up in the Mandragora vines,” Mike said.Abella frowned at him. “That explains why I did not awaken at your arrival. The Mandragora was draining me of my life essence. This is not good. It means I have been asleep for far longer than I thought.”“I thought the plant ate meat?”“What better way to absorb life essence? The Mandragora could not eat me nor move me, so it fed on my energy through my skin.”“What are you, exactly?” Mike's legs were suddenly numb. He rubbed them, his muscles tingling beneath his fingers.“My kind have many names, but your kind would know me as a gargoyle,” Abella replied.“Doesn't water have to run out of your mouth or something?” Mike asked.“If you sever my head and mount it to a building, yes.” Abella frowned. “Anyway, I-” Abella's legs suddenly collapsed beneath her, and she fell to the ground, panting for air.“Are you okay?” Mike asked.“No, I am not.” Abella crawled over by Mike, laying down on the rock beside him. “How long ago did Emily die?”“A couple of years, actually.”“I told her that she needed to have a successor ready. The Mandragora has taken too much of my life force. I must rest for some time before I can get us out of here.”“That's ok. I'm just happy to be alive.” Mike moved closer to Abella, his legs tingling beneath him. “Can I do anything for you?”Abella remained silent, her eyes closed. Now that she was by his side, he realized that she was only about five feet tall. Her feet were large, three giant toes with talons on them, and she had a thick, muscular tail that was hidden beneath her wings. Mike held tightly to her, feeling the slow rhythm of her breathing beneath his arms.Mike had only closed his eyes for a few seconds, or so he thought. The sky above them was growing black, distant storm clouds building giant thunderheads in the distance. Sitting up, he was delighted to discover that his limbs were no longer tingling, that full of sand finally gone.“Mike?” Abella's voice was no louder than a whisper.“Yeah, I'm up. Didn't think I would sleep for that long.” He stood up and stretched. “Ow, shit, I'm sore. How are you feeling?”“Not good.” Abella rolled to a sitting position. “I don't like the look of that storm, either.”“It can't be that-” A flash of light blinded him. Several seconds later, the thunder that chased it boomed against the cliff. “uh, bad.” Mike finished.“My kind is made to weather storms. Yours is not.”“I guess I could just climb out of here.” Mike stared at the sheer walls above him. “After someone installs a ladder.”“I do have an idea, but you will not like it.” Abella was staring at her feet.“I'm pretty open to living. What do you have in mind?”“I am a being of stone. It will take me some time to recover. You, however, have already recovered. Humans are fountains of life, its why they make such a good food source.”“You're not selling me on your solution so far,” Mike muttered.“If you were to, give me some of your essence, I would have enough energy to fly us out of here.” Abella's fingers were pressing down on wrinkles in her wings, watching the folds pop back up.“That doesn't sound so bad. Are we talking magic, a blood pact, what?” Please don't let it be a blood pact, Mike thought to himself.“It's kind of like magic. Old magic.” Abella looked away from him. “You could give me your essence like, like a human man would give to.”“Are you talking about sex?” Mike was surprised to see Abella shrink in on herself. She nodded, her eyes on the distance.“My kind and your kind have a hatred for each other, but I want you to know that I am different. It is why I was saved, and brought here to protect this house. And while I am sure you would rather be with a hundred different human women before you would consider a hideous creature like me, I think… I think it would work.”To be continued.By  writerannabelle for Literotica.

The Dana & Parks Podcast
Metro man surprised to find roofing co. removed his roof...accidentally. Hour 4 8/3/2022

The Dana & Parks Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 3, 2022 35:39


Steamy Stories Podcast
Home for Horny Monsters: Squatter's Rights -

Steamy Stories Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 2, 2022


Home for Horny Monsters: Squatter's Rights - Mike inherits an old house with fuckable monster girls! (part 3)By writerannabelle.  Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. “Give up, Tink. I've won,” Mike panted, sweat pouring off his body. “It's over.”Tink fixed him with an angry stare, which quickly melted into defeat. Her large eyes pooled with tears, and she turned her face away from Mike.“Tink lose. Tink give up goblin home.” She snuffled, the dirt on the floor billowing away from her. “Tink leave, and no come back.”“Wait, what?” Tink had relaxed beneath Mike, so he shifted his body so that he wasn't crushing her any longer. “No, Tink, you don't have to leave, I just want my tools so I can fix the fountain.”“Goblin Law. We fight over home. Loser leave, never come back.” She tried to rise, but Mike wasn't having it. He knew that Naia would be disappointed in him if he managed to lose one of the inhabitants of the house so quickly.And honestly, was he even as entitled to the home as they were? They had been here longer, he was just the current human legally entitled to the place. Watching the goblin weep beneath him, he couldn't help but feel extremely bad. Tink obviously came from a culture he wasn't going to understand overnight, but this was a problem he needed to take care of right this second.“I don't want Tink to leave,” Mike explained. The instant the words left his mouth, the goblin turned her head toward him. There was a glimmer of hope that he was afraid to shatter, so he waited for her next move.“Goblin Law say fight over home, someone leave.”Mike fought hard to avoid rolling his eyes. Clearly her head was hard literally and metaphorically. “Well, goblin law doesn't apply here. This is my house, so we follow my laws.”Tink shook her head. “Always follow Goblin Law.”“Well, then is there a law that lets us fight and you get to stay?” He felt Tink relax even more beneath his arm. Her snuffling stopped, and she became silent beneath his arms.“Fight for goblin wife,” she whispered.“Oh.” Mike was officially between a rock and a hard place with the little green monster he had found beneath the garage. If he took her as a goblin wife, then what did that entail? Then again, where would she go if she left? Naia had warned her that the world was a bad place for monsters, and it occurred to him that, as far as he knew, nobody even remotely believed goblins still existed. What if Tink was the last of her kind? What about his relationship with Naia? “Shit.”“No have to take goblin wife,” Tink whispered. “Tink can just go.”“Well, hold on.” The gears in his mind were turning. “If I take you as goblin wife, what about other people? Do we have to live down here?”“Goblin husband take many wives. Goblin wife no mind.”“Okay. Well Tink, this was a fight for a goblin wife. Now you don't have to leave.” Mike wanted to clap himself on the back, but he wanted to keep Tink pinned.“Fight for goblin wife not over,” she told him. Seeing the puzzled look on his face, she gently grabbed one of his hands and dragged it down to her breast. “Different kind of fight.”“Oh.” Mike wasn't sure what to say, but he was immediately struck at how firm the breast beneath his hand was. It was slightly bigger than his hand, and as he dragged his thumb across the top, he felt a pair of nipples, stacked vertically. He gave it a squeeze, releasing Tink's arms. She immediately grabbed him by the hair on the back of his head, pulling him close.“Tink want you to fight harder,” she hissed, pulling him in. Clawed hands dragged down her back, just hard enough to remind Mike that they were there. They found the waist band of his shorts, shoving them down. Mike grabbed her breasts tightly now, and Tink's clawed hand found Mike's cock. “Fight even harder. Make goblin wife.”Mike wrapped his hand in her hair, looping it across his knuckles so that he could yank it backward. He pulled her face in, suddenly entranced by the exotic curl of her lips, something he only saw now that her fangs weren't bared at him. Tink was working his shaft with both tiny hands, dragging her just the tips of her claws expertly across his dick. He shivered, the sensation hitting him directly in the gut.“Almost ready,” Tink muttered, licking the palms of her hand with an unusually long tongue. Mike bit down on her breast, rolling her double nipples around with his tongue. He was amazed at how large each nipple was in his mouth, and she arched her back.“Bite harder, sweaty man.”Mike chomped down, expecting a cry of protest, but he got a moan of pleasure. Her skin was dirty, but tasted mainly of the earth, and didn't yield in the slightest. Letting up, he curled three fingers and caught her double nipples between his knuckles, pinching them and pulling up. Snarling, Tink grabbed the head of his hard cock, now slippery, and placed it at the edge of her pussy.“Make me goblin wife,” she growled, and Mike obliged. He shoved his way into her, her tight pussy squeezing him the whole way in.“Holy shit!” Mike yelled, feeling hard ridges inside of Tink rub against his glans. Tink wrapped tiny legs around Mike and forced herself up to meet him, but she was so tight, he wasn't getting in any further than just the first couple inches.“Fight from bottom,” Tink begged, and Mike rolled on his back. She mounted him, forcing herself down, and Mike felt like his dick was being squeezed by a set of angry hands. She struggled, only three inches of his dick penetrating her tight folds. Mike grabbed her shoulders first, trying to push her down. The tender side of him demanded that he show some sort of gentle gesture, so he ran one hand lovingly across her brow and then back through her hair.What was this? Mike swept Tink's hair aside to reveal a horn, nearly three inches long, hidden in the wild tangles of her hair. Surprised, he searched the other side of her head, finding another, slightly shorter horn. Suddenly inspired, he clamped his hands down tight, forcing Tink onto his cock.Tink couldn't reach the root of his cock, her insides simply not large enough for him. Her tiny belly bulged outward with every thrust of his dick. Tink panted, mouth open wide, as she rode Mike hard, squeezing at his pecks with clawed hands. Her wide hips made it easy for her legs to wrap around Mike's waist, and she was lifting and dropping so quickly that Mike was tensing his stomach just to brace for impact.“Oh! Oh fuck!” Mike felt his insides churn, his balls getting ready to blast a load. Tink, sensing this, rode even harder, guttural moans and drool leaving her mouth, gasping for air as her fingers clutched Mike's biceps. Mike yanked down on her horns, squeezing tight, and Tink's grunts became a protracted growl. Mike's whole body tightened, and Tink threw herself forward, slipping free of Mike's hold, to sink her teeth into her shoulder.“Ow, you fucking-” Mike bit her back, trying to dig his own teeth into the flesh around her neck. His crotch was suddenly soaked in Tink's cum, and she screamed through her teeth. His shoulder hurt like hell, but his balls never got the message. Mike bit her even harder, filling her with three giant bursts of cum, Tink grunting as each one entered her.She released him with her teeth, leaving a thin pattern of needle-like injuries all around his shoulder. Mike let go too, leaving mostly just indentations and spit on her skin. Her pussy contracted, squeezing out another stream of goo, and Mike shuddered with pleasure. Tink laid her head down on Mike's chest, letting out a low rumble like a cat.“Tinker now goblin wife of sweaty man,” she told him, tracing her fingers along his arm.“Tinker? Is that your full name?” Tink nodded, her shining eyes on his. “Well, you can call me Mike, not sweaty man.”“Mike goblin husband. Tink belong to Mike now.” She sighed, laying her head down. Mike held her this way for a bit, letting his body relax. Even as his dick softened, her goblin cunt was still so tight that she held him in place.“Well, Tinker-”“Husband call me Tink.”“Well, Tink, I'm sure there's plenty of daylight left. I need my tools to fix the fountain.”Tink shook her head, her ears flopping lightly beneath her hair. “Tink good at fixing. Tink help, you see.” She dismounted, Mike's dick plopping free along with a giant puddle of cum. Tink squatted, lapping up the mess with her long, slippery tongue, until his cock was clean once more.“Jesus all-mighty,” Mike muttered to himself, finding his shorts. Tink was holding what was left of her dress, string at it in sadness.“Tink need new outfit,” she informed him, tossing the rags aside.“I think I have a shirt that will fit you,” he said, not wanting to waste any more time thinking about it.“Good idea. Husband get new dress, Tink go look at fountain.” She had already retrieved her goggles, fixing them in place on her head, and had grabbed a small toolbox next to the bench. “We go.”Tink followed Mike out, and they navigated the labyrinth of books until they got to the back door. The sun was past the roof of the house now, meaning it was at least four in the afternoon. In the sun's light, Tink's skin took on a pretty hue beneath all the grime, and he could now see the giant, single areola that surrounded her double nipples. Dark green pubes hid her crotch from view.Seeing where his eyes were looking, Tink became suddenly bashful. She held the toolbox up, covering her crotch with it.“Get Tink's dress,” she said, her yellow eyes looking away from him. Mike left her behind, running up the stairs to retrieve a spare t-shirt from his bag. Today had destroyed a significant chunk of his wardrobe. He needed to go shopping soon.Mike grabbed a simple black t-shirt from his bag. He didn't bother putting a new shirt on-his new scrapes and cuts were still clotting. Staring in the mirror, he just shook his head. It looked like he had fallen through a plate glass window. The bite marks on his shoulder, however, had already clotted up. He really hoped that goblin bites weren't poisonous.When he got outside, Tink was squatting, naked, inside the fountain. He was handing her his shirt when he watched a spoonful of cum dribble free from her pussy.“This nice.” Tink inspected the material before slipping it over her head. The sleeves were a little too wide, but the length was perfect. It covered Tink down to her knees. Mike joined her in the fountain, and the two of them started by scraping the mud and grime from the bottom, scooping it over the side into the bucket that he had brought home. The center of the fountain was a simple marble monolith with a single basin that would overflow into the giant basin below.Scraping up the muck and grime, Mike couldn't help but sneak glances at Tink. Her tiny body was lean and sexy in a different way than Naia's had been. However, in the light of day, it was obvious that Tink was in need of a bath, and Mike hoped that Naia would be willing to share her tub.“How long have you been hiding in the garage, Tink?” Mike asked.“Tink there for-” Tink put a clawed finger to her lips, deep in thought. “Hm. Tink not sure. Tink remember big sleep, wake up yesterday.” She shrugged.“Do you remember Emily?”Tink nodded. “Human lady. No need to fight. She let Tink live in garage.”“Wait. You didn't have to fight her, but you fought with me?”“Is goblin way. Males too aggressive, always take, never give. All males fight.”“Well, you need to remember that I'm not a goblin Tink. Do you think you can do that for me?” Tink stopped what she was doing, casting a soulful look in Mike's direction. Several seconds passed.“Tink remember.” A sly grin crossed her face as she traced a line down Mike's thigh. “Mike much bigger than a goblin.”“Oh, well, thank's, Tink.”“Not much of a biter, though.” Tink stuck her hand into a crevasse, twisting her hands and pulling free a long trail of rocky sludge. It was almost a foot long, and Mike could hear stone scraping on stone as it slid free. Tink tossed the sludge over the edge of the fountain, and Mike heard the sounds of water rushing up from beneath the earth.“We did it, Tink!” Mike high fived Tink, grabbing her around the waist. He picked her up and they jumped out of the fountain, escaping the icy cold water as it filled the basin. Tiny bubbles of energy formed, fluttering around the fountain like butterflies, and Naia surfaced, wearing a simple cloth dress over her body.“Gods, it's so good to be outside,” Naia said, eyes closed and arms wide. She took a deep breath of fresh air, opening her eyes to survey her fountain. “Let's work out some kinks, shall we?”Naia snapped her fingers, and the stone monolith shook, blasting dirt and mud free. Water rolled down its sides, filling the middle basin with fresh spring water. The remaining dirt and mud was caught in tiny tide pools, which spun them into a surface froth that was unceremoniously dumped over the side onto the concrete slab beneath the fountain.“Oh, it's like having the feeling come back to your legs after they fall asleep. Thank you so much Mike!” Naia turned to blow Mike a kiss, but froze when she saw Tink standing behind him. “Tink? Is that you?”“Naia!” Tink scrambled onto the rim of the fountain, standing eye to breast with Naia. Naia gave the goblin a tight hug.“You know Tink?” Mike asked.“Of course I do. She is in charge of keeping the house in working order. Goblins are typically quite dumb, but Tink is somehow brighter than most humans, though she may not sound like it.” Naia gave Tink an affectionate pat on the head. “I remember that she was one of the last monsters collected, still just a child when she came here. She stayed mostly in the garage, though. Her people have a weird thing about housing.”“Yeah. I ran into that. Apparently she's officially my goblin wife.” Mike winced inwardly, waiting for the emotional fallout.“Tink, is this true?” Naia asked, kneeling down in the water so the two were face to face.“We fight,” Tink declared. “Mike win goblin wife.”“I'm so happy for you!” Naia and Tink embraced again, causing Mike to shake his head. He was having one hell of a weird day.“This doesn't bother you?” Mike asked.“Of course not, silly. I have a part of your soul, remember? You don't realize this, but in a way, this is the nicest thing you could do for her.” Naia patted Tink's head affectionately. “Her kind doesn't care for goblins like her. She's very smart, which is bad enough if you're a goblin female, but she is also very ugly for her kind.”“Ugly?” Mike didn't think so, though his definition of beauty was currently in a rapid tailspin.Naia nodded. “Goblins are a weird bunch. Trust me, you would have had no reason to make a wife of any normal goblin.” Naia's nose crinkled. “Tink, you stink.”“Tink hungry too,” the goblin announced, holding her stomach. “Just finish big sleep.”“What's the big sleep?” Mike asked.“Between owners, the house has a way of hiding its denizens. I stay conscious the whole time, but the fear was that if a long enough period of time passed, some of the monsters would lose their shit and wander out into the world, lonely and looking for company. So they sleep, but I'm guessing that they are starting to wake up now that you are here.” Naia flipped her wet hair out of the way. “Tink, can I talk to Mike for a minute?”Tink nodded. “I put away tools.” She quickly gathered the cleaning supplies and vanished into the garage.“You fucked her, didn't you?” Naia asked. Mike gulped. This was the fallout he was expecting.“If I didn't, she thought she had to leave. I couldn't do that to her.” Mike explained.“It was more than that,” Naia grinned, stroking Mike's chin. “You fucked her, and you liked it.” Her hand found his cock through his shorts.“Unexpectedly, yes. I did. It was weird, but kind of hot.”“Goblin's have weird ways of looking at marriage. As it is, you could order her to march into a fire, and she would do it because you are her husband. I'm telling you this so that you know how you should be treating her, despite her willingness to please you. Prove to me that you can handle this by treating her well, because it would break my heart to discover that you can't.”“What about us?” Mike asked.“There will always be time for us. Goblins are polygamous. I could let you fuck me while she watched, and she would just be happy to be in the room.” Naia laughed. “Not that I would ever treat her that way. I think of her very much like a little sister. You should get her some food, and then have her take a bath. I promise you that you'll find something underneath all that dirt and grime that you will like.” Naia winked.“What will you be doing?” Mike asked.“I'll be out here, no worries. Take some time just the two of you.” Naia slid her hand across the bite mark on Mike's shoulder. “She's marked you, you know? Now that she's tasted your blood, she can find you anywhere.”“Goblin bites aren't poisonous, right?” Mike lowered his voice in case Tink came back.“You would know by now if they were,” she whispered back, giving him a kiss on the nose. Tink emerged from the garage, her hands now empty.“I'm going to fix us some lunch,” Mike announced, and Tink was immediately by his side. “And then I'm going to wash up. Care to join me?”“Tink come too.” Mike held the door for her and she pinched his ass as she walked by. Mike turned to Naia, but the nymph was already floating on her back, staring up into the clouds.Mike took Tink inside, where he heated up what was left of the pizza for both of them to eat. She sat across from him, gobbling down the pizza in huge bites while he got on Amazon to order a few things. He was lucky in that he was in a city with Prime Now, and he made a few purchases that he thought would come in handy, staring at Tink the whole time. Now that they were inside, he realized just how bad she smelled, but didn't want to hurt her feelings.Tink followed him upstairs, where the bath had already filled itself with hot water. Mike smiled at the silver brush that had been left on the rim of the tub by the soap and shampoo. Tink stripped off her shirt, and Mike helped her into the bath.It started innocent enough-Mike stripped off his bandages and joined her, and the two of them took turns cleaning each other. Mike used a rag to wash the dirt and grime off of Tink, discovering that her dark green skin was actually the bright green of a healthy lawn. He scrubbed her back, marveling at the prominent ridges along her spine, making him think of her as a tiny dragon instead.“Tink's turn.” Tink gently washed his around his wounds, taking particular care near the bite mark on his shoulder, which was now just a series of small scabs. She scrubbed him slowlyHer hair was the worst. Mike had Tink dunk her head, dirt and grime turning the water brown. He drained the tub and refilled it twice, helping her shampoo her long, dirty strands of hair. Once her hair was clean, he discovered that her hair was a dark auburn, with alternating streaks of red and brown throughout. While he had been willing to fuck her in the dark, the emerald creature in his tub was looking more and more feminine with every layer of dirt they scrubbed off.Tink sat in front of him, her head and shoulders above the water. Mike realized that her back was now clean, but he was having a tough time taking his hands off of her. Tink sighed, scooting back against him, her fingers lightly tracing shapes on his thighs. Mike slid his hands across the top of her shoulders, then down across her chest. His fingers squeezed her breasts as one of her hands circled his cock.He pulled Tink up onto one leg, using it as a booster seat. With her wet hair pulled to one side, she reminded him of that green girl from Guardians of the Galaxy, albeit much smaller. She growled affectionately at him, and he slid his hand down her thigh and into the dark patch of hair between her legs.“No biting this time,” he warned her, tracing circles around her crotch.“No bites,” Tink promised, her pink tongue circling her thin lips. She ran her tongue up the side of his neck, tickling at his ear. Mike circled her pussy a few times, puzzled at the shape of it. She had a double set of labia, the inner set puffy and engorged. He ran his fingers over them slowly, enjoying how the folds squeezed at his fingers. Tink shivered in the warm water, her tail splashing the surface.While Tink was enjoying herself, Mike was having difficulty finding what he was looking for. Determined, he searched her folds for any trace of a fleshy nub, hoping that his theory about goblin anatomy would prove correct. After a minute of this, he decided to explore something else, pulling her leg wide and pushing a finger inside of her.Tink let out a growl, and Mike was surprised to feel not one, but two semi hard lumps just inside her pussy. He hooked his finger, tracing figure eights around them, and Tink gyrated her hips in rhythm with his movements. It was no wonder that he had trouble fitting earlier. He could barely bend his finger once inside her, and her pussy was already squeezing his finger so tight it was uncomfortable.Mike grabbed Tink by one of her horns, tilting her head sideways so that he could kiss her neck. Tink was stroking Mike's shaft with one hand while pinching her own double-nipple with the other, her claws squeezing hard enough that Mike was worried that she would hurt herself.“This time, Mike fit,” Tink declared, leaving Mike to pull the plug. The tub drained until the water level was below their hips. Mike held onto Tink's horns as she went down on him, her long tongue wrapping around his dick, leaving behind a trail of slime that made his dick tingle. While her teeth made him nervous, her big mouth was big enough that not only did she take his cock all the way to the back, but his balls as well. Mike held tightly to her horns and moved his dick even faster, shuddering at the smooth feeling of her tongue on the base of his cock. Every time she took the entire length of him, she swallowed, her throat squeezing the head of his dick.“Tink, that feels amazing.” Mike told her. She let out a growl of pleasure, and Mike began pumping her face. Tink fingered herself while pinching her breast, and Mike was all-out face fucking her, causing her to moan every time he bottomed out in her throat.“Fuck,” he muttered, feeling the pressure build. Tink wrapped her tongue around his balls, staving off his orgasm. She opened her mouth wide, and Mike realized that he was so far down her throat that the head of his dick was still stuck in place. Tink swallowed several times, squeezing him. Her wide, innocent eyes looked up at him lovingly, but her long tongue squeezed even harder, trapping his orgasm. She slapped at his hands, and he let go of her horns. Pulling her head back, Mike popped out of the back of her throat.“Not yet,” she chastised him, scooting her hips forward. Mike lifted her by the hips, setting her down on his cock. Her tail swished back and forth, and Mike almost came at the sheer heat of her tight walls. Tink growled at him, trying to force herself down the length of his cock again.“Tink, it's okay,” Mike told her, but she was having none of it. She turned around, facing away from him. Her ass was like a giant peach from this position, a heart shaped fruit ripe for the plucking. Tink grunted in frustration again, trying to force Mike's length all the way into her body.“This time, Mike fit,” she growled, slamming into him with long thrusts. She always came up a couple inches short.“Tink, I'm going to come soon,” Mike informed her. The pool of water left behind in the tub bubbled, sending tiny spheres of water into the air.“Not if I can help it,” Naia said, a hand, made of water wrapping around the base of his cock, once again cutting off his orgasm. She emerged from the water, her dress plastered against her body. Tink was panting, fighting off an orgasm of her own.“Naia!” Mike said, shocked to see her. Naia snapped her fingers, the dress on her body vanishing. She put both hands on Tink's shoulders and gave her a hard push. Mike moaned, his balls aching as he slid in almost half an inch more.“That's right, lover.” Naia gave Tink another push, but she simply couldn't go any further. “Is it really that important that he fit inside of you?” Naia asked Tink.Tink nodded, unable to speak.“Then there's only one choice.” Naia pulled Tink off of Mike's cock, maneuvering her onto her hands and knees. Mike's cock was covered in Tink's creamy fluids, his dick covered in his own precum also. Leaning over Tink's body, Naia grabbed her tail and lifted it. Mike was treated to the vision of Tink's puckered asshole, dark green and coated in her juices. “I can guarantee that he will fit in here.”Mike felt a sudden surge from within, his heart beating in excitement. Naia held Tink's tail up, and Mike positioned the head of his cock at her ass. Tink gasped when Mike pushed himself in, her fluids providing plenty of lubrication. Just as the head of his cock penetrated her, Tink wiggled her ass back and forth, forcing herself back.“Make…Mike…fit…” she declared, working her way steadily down. Somehow, her asshole was even tighter than her pussy, and Mike could feel Tink's pulse against his own. He only made it halfway in when he couldn't go any further. Tink let out a frustrated moan.“Don't worry dear, big sister Naia will help.” A mischievous grin on her face, Naia drew a pattern in the water with her finger. The water sprouted finger-like tendrils which began tickling Tink's pussy. Her breathe as coming in ragged gasps as her hips lurched back and forth. Tink growled, then moaned, then growled as Mike's dick worked its way in even further.“Oh god,” Mike moaned, the water gripping him even tighter. He grunted, pulling his dick out and then pushing it back in, trying to get his balls to touch her green flesh with every push.“You need to pay it forward, little sister,” Naia informed Tink. Grabbing onto Tink's horns, Naia pulled Tink's head between her legs. Tink greedily lapped at Naia's bald folds, Naia's body hovering above the water's surface. “Yes, that's a good little goblin.”“That doesn't seem like little sister behavior,” Mike muttered.“Nymphs don't follow conventional family rules,” Naia replied, sighing in pleasure.“Uh,” Tink added, stopping frequently as the water fingers penetrated her. Mike shuddered, the sensation of the fingers traveling through the thin wall between Tink's pussy and ass setting him over the edge. He was certain Naia was working magic on Tink, because the goblin was letting out tiny shrieks every few seconds now, her body tensing up and relaxing.“Nobody cums until Mike bottoms out,” Naia declared. Frantic, Tink was pushing herself backward as hard as she could. Naia handed Tink's tail to Mike. “Make sure you pull it by the base,” Naia informed him. One hand on Tink's hip, the other on her tail, he began pulling with all his might, every thrust getting him even closer. He wrapped a hand around Tink's stomach, feeling the bulge of his dick moving beneath the skin of her stomach.“Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Fuuuck!” Mike felt Tink tighten down, then relax. His dick slid the rest of the way in, his balls slamming against her asscheeks. She tightened up once he was all the way in, grunting into Naia's pussy. He fucked Tink's ass with very tiny thrusts, unable to move much farther, and Naia winked at him, touching the water with her finger. The pressure around the base of his balls vanished, and he felt several waves of energy build up simultaneously. Tink came, spraying a milky fluid into the water, and Mike filled her ass, cumming again and again, his stomach aching from the number of times he tensed up. Mike let out a growl of his own, Tink collapsing face first into Naia, who turned her head sideways in her lap. Large tears were running down her face, and Mike worried that she was hurt.Naia held up a hand to stop him from moving her. “They're happy tears, Mike. Let her have this moment,” she whispered. Mike rubbed the base of Tink's back, running his hands over her bubble shaped butt in lazy circles. Much like before, Mike started to go soft, but still couldn't slide free. He grabbed Tink's shoulders, pulling her up into a sitting position. She let out little whimpers as he pulled himself free, cradling her in his arms.“God, that was so fucking hot!” Naia declared, the faucet turning on. The tub filled up, and Tink slid away from him, facing Mike.“Tink know you make great goblin husband,” she told him. Naia picked up the brush from the side of the tub, and Mike gave Tink a kiss on the forehead as Naia began working the brush through Tink's tangled hairs.“Tink is a great goblin wife,” Mike declared, smiling at the monsters in his tub.Romancing the StoneMike yawned, the morning light through the white curtains casting a blissful glow on the room. He scratched the back of his neck, his foot kicking the lump near the bottom of his bed. He sat up, leaning forward to give the lump a playful pat.“It's time to get up, Tink.” Mike watched the lump slide to the edge of the bed, disappearing over the edge with a thud.“Owie,” Tink muttered, standing up holding her bottom. She was wearing a tank top night shirt, one of the things Mike had ordered through Amazon, as a full dress. She wore her orange goggles too, refusing to part with them, even at night.“How did you sleep?” Mike asked, sliding out of bed in just his boxers.Tink responded with a yawn, her wide mouth revealing dozens of needle sharp teeth. “Tink sleep extra heavy. Mike hog bed.”“I did not hog the bed,” he muttered. After the threesome in the bath, Naia had spent a solid hour brushing Tink's hair out, and then braiding it tightly against Tink's head, starting at the base of her horns and running behind her ears. Mike eventually wandered out his front door (with a wary glance at the swing) to retrieve the Amazon packages he had ordered; some replacement shirts for himself, and some clothes he thought Tink would like. Tink had cried when he showed her the shirts he had bought -they all fit her like little dresses, albeit the fit was odd. Naia informed Mike that Tink's skills extended to sewing as well, and that the goblin would likely alter the material later for a better fit.“Mike hog bed, too much roll over. Goblin husband have bad dreams.” Tink beat him to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She wasn't wrong-Mike, despite ending the night on the best note of his life, had suffered through the standard reoccurring dreams again. He stared at the scar tissue on his hip, pondering why his brain insisted on living through the worst moments of his life in dream form, his broken mother shrieking at him from the past.“You okay?” Naia's voice drifted up from the tub. “I'm getting a vibe off of you.”“Just some old memories, I'm okay.” Tink flushed the toilet, but the door remained shut. Wondering what was taking so long, Mike opened the door.The goblin stared at the water swirling in the bowl, her goggles pulled down over her eyes. Mike didn't dare investigate any farther, preferring to wait.“Bad pipe,” Tink declared. “Water not fast enough. Bad pipe.” She looked at Mike, her eyes magnified through her goggles. “Tink can fix, but need some parts.”“How can you tell?” Mike asked. The toilet seemed slow, but the house was old.“Tink know.” She tapped her goggles. “Tink good at fix, but goggles good at seeing what need fix. Tell Tink big water leak come soon.”“Shit. Is it safe to use again?”“For now, is safe.” Tink strolled out of the bathroom, giving Mike's butt a slap. “Need fix in couple days, or big mess. Tink look in basement today, check where pipes go.” Her stomach growled. “Tink go after breakfast.”“Yeah, I'll make us something.” Mike excused himself, peeing in the toilet. The tiny scratches on his arms and legs looked bad, but didn't hurt any longer, which was a good sign. He walked out of the bathroom, staring into the tub. “Is it weird that I'm just sort of accepting this? The last twenty four hours have been out of my depth.”“It's what makes you a good fit,” Naia's voice informed him. “You can handle all of this because it isn't normal. When you got into a fight with Tink, you thought outside the box to make sure she stayed, even if it meant fucking a goblin. I know you did it partially for me, but you did it partially for the house without realizing it. It works through you, much as it does through me. If you had encountered a horny, human woman down there who wanted to suck your dick, you would have suffered a panic attack and come running inside.”Mike thought about this for a second. Naia was right. Somehow, the sheer lunacy of this whole situation wasn't even registering on his panic meter. “Did my Great Aunt handle it as well as me?”“In some aspects, yes,” Naia replied. “She accepted things quickly, but she didn't take your unique approach to tackling problems.” Naia's tub echoed with her laugh. “At least, not right away. We spent plenty of nights together in the tub, just the two of us.”“Gonna be honest, not sure how to take that news right now.” Mike pulled a shirt over his head. “I'll see you later.”“Stop out in the garden,” Naia told him. “I would love the company.”“Can do.” Mike left his room, walking silently down the long hall. He pondered every closed door he walked past, seeing each as an inevitable trap. What was hiding here, behind these quiet doors? Eventually, he would open them all, checking each room for another Tink, or even a Cecilia.To be continued.By writerannabelle for Literotica

Courtney & Company
TV Shows People Would Be Surprised You've Never Seen

Courtney & Company

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 2, 2022 3:25


What TV shows have you NEVER seen?

Bull & Fox
Tom Pelissero says I would be surprised if Roger Goodell is part of any appeal; league considers public perception

Bull & Fox

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 1, 2022 15:08


Tom Pelissero talks about the six-game suspension issued to Browns quarterback Deshaun Watson, whether the NFL will accept the ruling or potentially file an appeal and Watson's level of involvement with the team leading into the season. 

The Bledsoe Show
The Cure for a Curse

The Bledsoe Show

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 1, 2022 82:27


00:00.33 mikebledsoe Yes, I was just writing I was doing my books waiting on that max here and. 00:01.00 Max Shank Oh. 00:07.77 Max Shank We were just saying. It's nothing like a ah novel. It's nothing like a ah book. But that's how it all really began was we wanted to write down that you owe me 10 goats and I owe you. My daughter's hand in marriage when she comes of age or something like that right? it's it's Contracts. It's contracts. Basically I O use. 00:25.60 mikebledsoe Yeah I remember. Ah yeah, it's a recording of of transactions so recording of contracts agreements the I remember um watching my. 00:42.30 Max Shank It's like the word record you record a record. 00:44.30 mikebledsoe yeah yeah I remember watching my dad do the books for his business back in like you know the 80 s and 90 s you know I wasn't I wasn't aware enough to know what he was doing until probably the early 90 s but ah. 00:49.82 Max Shank Yeah. E. 01:03.41 mikebledsoe Yeah I just remember him like having an actual book of things and and writing in the ledger where the money went and this not I Just remember like that was the most frustrated I ever saw him like. 01:11.51 Max Shank Oh. 01:18.76 Max Shank Is. 01:20.69 mikebledsoe Like the guy. The guy's a craftsman right? He he was a craftsman and so like ah he was a builder like he did a lot of ah home improvements but also built these really amazing cabins from scratch and yeah. 01:24.29 Max Shank What craft. 01:36.18 Max Shank No shit building a cabin from scratch is like a really cool thing I think now that's what I think is cool now I think that is cool now I used to think lifting something really really big over your head was super cool. 01:39.60 mikebledsoe Yeah, so he was. 01:43.13 mikebledsoe Totally. 01:52.25 mikebledsoe Um, yeah, yeah. 01:55.28 Max Shank And it still kind of is but now making your own cabin from scratch that is fricking cool. 02:01.27 mikebledsoe Well, it's interesting because you know he was so gifted at that and then because he wanted to do things the way he wanted to do them meant that he was going to own his own business which then came with all these other ah requirements. Ah, for. 02:18.27 Max Shank Who. 02:20.53 mikebledsoe To do that because and really the only reason is required is because you have to pay taxes. Other than that you you wouldn't actually have to maintain books. It'd probably be beneficial to maintain books to maintain a ah record of of your transactions and all that stuff. 02:31.97 Max Shank Yeah. 02:37.60 mikebledsoe But I think a guy like that would have done better just to have been winging it the whole time and put more of his attention into what he was actually skilled at. 02:45.24 Max Shank Man that speaks so much to me because we could talk about this probably all day right? where these different personality types crazy thrive in one way and then really struggle in another way and it's like how do you. Compound and multiply your zone of Genius while minimizing the damage of one of these let's just call it a ah deficit or or just like a ah simple lack of desire to do you know back in the day if if you went out on the hunt. 03:15.51 mikebledsoe Um, what. 03:22.60 Max Shank Crafting is like a version of hunting or gathering kind of you can make that that leap it's about energy transformation and generation. Ah, there was no need to really keep a record because you either came home with food or you did not. There's no like little book. Oh I can. 03:35.72 mikebledsoe Right. 03:41.83 Max Shank Didn't get food again today. It's like no, we all know. 03:43.47 mikebledsoe Yeah I think the only like thinking ahead that people had to do early on was if you lived up North you had to think about the seasons changing but aside from that you know if the the closer you move to the equator the less. 03:53.97 Max Shank Um, yeah. 04:01.48 mikebledsoe You really have to keep a record or think about much of the past or the future. It really is about. Did you bring home a kill today or did you find some food today or are we warm. Are we comfortable today? Yeah, so yeah, the um I you know what I I find to be interesting is. 04:10.29 Max Shank Right. 04:21.38 mikebledsoe I avoided doing the books in my business I avoided doing bookkeeping anything with finance at all and so ah, a little over a year ago I decided to I was talking to a friend I was talking to a friend like two and a half years ago and he was like well. 04:27.48 Max Shank It. Ah. 04:40.29 mikebledsoe You know you've never done your books I go no he goes you should probably do your books at some point just so you you know what's happening in the business like at a very granular level and I go I go. Okay, he goes I Still do my books and he's he runs multiple companies and. 04:47.89 Max Shank I. 04:58.20 mikebledsoe This and that definitely a different personality than I am right? but but he was right. There was a there was a there was something about the business I didn't quite understand yes I could get by without it I didn't need to do it. But if I rip. 05:00.86 Max Shank Um, yeah. 05:09.86 Max Shank Um, well, you're a star Mike you can make it you can make it work even if it's not a good plan and I can relate. 05:23.74 mikebledsoe It's how you broke up for a None 05:24.72 Max Shank Oh you can make a good plan Work. You can make a bad plan work. Ah, just because you have those skills and I can super relate to that and when you're ah less wise you trick yourself into thinking. That you had a good plan but really, you had a shit plan and you just happened to pull a miracle out of your ass. 05:48.20 mikebledsoe Yeah, there's a pattern of behavior if you were to look back that the ah and it it is. It's like my whole family The ah the whole family. There was a saying growing up was like a ble so could fall into a pile of shit and still smell like a rose. 05:57.65 Max Shank But. 06:08.40 mikebledsoe like like 1 of those like we would put ourselves in these predicaments. But somehow we'd fucking escape. Yeah yeah, and it was kind of like a running joke. But the the thing is is when that is true when that's happened enough times. It starts. 06:14.20 Max Shank Find the shower. Yeah. 06:22.76 Max Shank Oh. 06:27.66 mikebledsoe It's It's hard to make planning important when not planning you still get pretty good Results. Maybe not the ultimate result you're looking for but pretty good results and I think most people have ah they have developed some type. Of something in their personality ah patterns of behavior in their life where they have continued to get a reward and so that's why they keep behaving that way even though there might be some people saying hey you might want to try it this other way. It's like why would I listen to somebody suggesting to do it another way unless my weight. Hasn't been working but what happens is as we get to a certain point that has happened with me. It's like I keep butting up against the same ceiling right? It's like oh every time I try to make more than this amount of money I hit the ceiling every time I do this I hit a ceiling and or every time I have a certain goal I hit a ceiling in the in. 07:17.28 Max Shank Oh. 07:22.65 Max Shank On. 07:27.70 mikebledsoe Reason is because the thing that got me to where I am now is probably the thing that's going to hold me back moving forward and I'm ah I'm a huge fan of of ah knowing your weaknesses and studying it. 07:33.46 Max Shank Interesting idea. 07:46.19 mikebledsoe A little bit just so you know what you don't know like I I do I learn enough about finance so that I know how to I can at least spot the Bs I can tell if somebody else knows what they're talking about. But if I don't know anything about it and I just straight up delegate it Out. I I think that's dangerous because I've done that before and gotten burned. How about you have you had like business partnerships and stuff like that where like not necessarily because somebody burned you. But. 08:12.67 Max Shank Um, like you repeat that you you receive you repeat the same pattern is that what you're asking or. 08:18.90 mikebledsoe No, no, no like if you don't know enough about a task that you have not developed yourself and say you completely outsource that task That's that's a problem. 08:29.86 Max Shank Oh yeah, yeah, you put something you put something outside of your observation and and it leaves you vulnerable in in several ways I know at Discount Tire They don't promote anyone from the outside. It's only from the um. 08:47.60 mikebledsoe Yeah, um. 08:49.31 Max Shank The bottom up the whole thing and it's all about knowing every part of the process. Ah dude, you've said so many things that I want to respond to I took a couple notes here and the first one was ah in relation to the the bookkeeping. It's like. 09:01.15 mikebledsoe You. 09:07.88 Max Shank Reminded me immediately of the word intuitive eating and intuitive movement. So now we have intu intuitive finances. Ah here here on our show. We do intuitive finance is a new course coming out featuring ah featuring ah the. 09:19.79 mikebledsoe Let me go see if that domain's available. 09:26.96 Max Shank The crypto prince Mike Bledso and the ah the dinosaur. 09:29.82 mikebledsoe Um, there's like so many domains I have to buy right now just spitting them out. Yeah. 09:35.97 Max Shank Totally all right? So check it, you have intuitive eating and intuitive movement people are probably familiar with those terms but None of the things I was talking with my buddy about ah we're like man how are you shouldn't do. Intuitive eating if you suck like if you don't have knowledge and skills like intuitive eating is for sure the best way I would I mean it's a bold claim intuitive eating can be wonderful but you but also you need to have. 10:05.30 mikebledsoe Well, you have to be in touch with your intuition for it to work for 1 10:14.61 Max Shank Some understanding of what is in the food like you can't if you go on just like pure ah like gut reaction. You're just going to eat ah like chips and soda pop all day long because it's delicious. So with finances you dig into the books a little bit. 10:17.74 mikebledsoe By the way. 10:34.52 Max Shank Now you might have a chance to approach something. That's a little bit more intuitive because now you have that vocabulary that ah understanding of the elements right? So that was the None thing I thought of um, it made me laugh. 10:50.14 mikebledsoe Let's you got to have this structure. You have to have this structure in order to flow and like an intuition and flow go hand in hand. Yeah, exactly. 10:55.40 Max Shank Right? We're talking about that last week right we were talking about that last week. The pipes are the structure and it harnesses the flow in the direction you want it to go ah and then the other thing that was interesting. We were talking about how? ah. A good outcome doesn't mean you had a good plan and if you're a super achiever guy. You can basically make a bad plan work and you don't want to conflate those 2 you don't want to confuse those things and think oh my plan was good. Really no, you're a stud but your plan sucks and so that's kind of. Looking at those weaknesses and then finally um, the the the identity perpetuating patterns is a funny one to me like if you ah I don't I don't know if this is true. It feels kind of true to me. But if you pride yourself and you label yourself as someone who's extremely tough who can take a lot of punishment and get back up every time they fall down. I have this idea that life is going to feed you more of that. What do you What do you think about that your identity perpetuating your reality. 12:15.37 mikebledsoe Um, oh yeah, absolutely the? Ah ah well what we have to talk about the reticular activating system in this case and ah the RAS as a part of the brain. 12:27.38 Max Shank Save the 10 dollars words for another podcast you son of a bitch. 12:34.80 mikebledsoe Is responsible for so spotting things. So for instance, um, if I go buy a red pickup truck. What am I going to see a lot of on the road red pickup truck. We all know this we've all heard you know and we've all had the experience of. 12:35.99 Max Shank Fucking nerd. 12:45.98 Max Shank You. 12:52.32 mikebledsoe We become interested in something and then all of a sudden we we start seeing it everywhere and we see it's a sign. Um and and so ah, the same thing happens with identity. If we believe something about ourselves and I like the way you talk about identity max which is you know the story we tell ourselves about ourselves if we that is our identity and we have this story about what is true I also like to think about what we believe to be true about ourselves and what we believe to be true about the world. Those are the None big things to have beliefs about right? It's either a belief about self or belief. 13:28.64 Max Shank Yeah, maybe that's what encompasses your identity right? is your place in the world. Also it's not just the label you attach to yourself. It's um, there's that classic phrase is you know. Life is happening for you. Some people believe and some people believe life happens to you I used to start off asking people questions like ah do you feel Life is more like a game a show or a ride I used to start all my like coaching programs with these weird. 13:47.29 mikebledsoe Right. 14:07.70 Max Shank Questions and then I'd ask people what the word intelligent means and people would stumble all over it and have no clue what smart even means and it was just like this fun thing but depending on how you see life if you see life is more like a ride you might have a hell of a wild and awesome ride. But it's going to be different than someone who thinks they are playing a game that they must win right? It's going to be huge difference. 14:27.60 mikebledsoe Yeah, totally yeah, right is passive that it's happening and there's not much I'm going to do um, a game I'm an active participant. It might be great. Ah. 14:36.17 Max Shank Um, and it might be great. It might be great. The the thing is like I want to I make sure that people understand I'm not trying to say that one is superior although I love games and winning is fun. Winning isn't everything. But it's the only thing right? There's that all like ah but I've I've met people who live life like it's a ride and they they do well and they're very happy and I've seen people who. Live life like a game and it's a real challenge the whole time and it doesn't look as far and vice versa. So There's quadrants you know. 15:19.30 mikebledsoe Yeah, well I think the ride I think the ride is a good way to go if you have momentum in a certain direction. There's like because well well what? what? ah. 15:32.12 Max Shank Everybody's got momentum in a certain direction dude like you the word momentum starts with the word mom. As soon as you get launched out of a vagina there is momentum to you. 15:42.85 mikebledsoe Yeah, well if you're if you're in a poor trajectory and you're on a ride then it's not a good thing. But if you have if you're going in a great direction with Momentum then the ride is probably really good for you. So. 15:45.53 Max Shank Your life has momentum as soon as you cross the gate. Yeah. 15:58.64 Max Shank I Like that we're going to bring it back to physics here. Yeah, we're going to coast a little bit kick push kick push Coast right? I think with when it comes to work which is ah a big part of. 16:05.45 mikebledsoe Exactly exactly. 16:17.36 Max Shank Ah, even having any accounting or bookkeeping to do. It's um, it's nice to remember that the suffering that you feel the amount of effort you apply has ah very little to do. 16:35.71 mikebledsoe Yeah. 16:35.97 Max Shank With the result you know, ah Momentum and Aerodynamics are a really really nice example of that. So just just having ah a better, a better setup can be. Be a huge difference maker. It doesn't matter how much effort or suffering goes into it I think that's ah, another big identity thing I know for me that was ah that was a challenge I Thought that suffering was proportional to success or or good or goodness right? Um, and I think. 17:08.96 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah. 17:13.79 Max Shank A lot of people still do believe that is my guess so like. 17:14.60 mikebledsoe They do I talk to people who do all time I Want to go back to like the the collecting of evidence for what you believe about the world and what you believe about yourself. So this this identity you know who you believe you are and what you believe the world is and how you fit inside of it. 17:26.34 Max Shank Oh. 17:33.77 mikebledsoe You These are all just a series of narratives that are playing out most of these narratives were set up when you were a kid and you what you've been doing the whole time. He's been collecting evidence to support it you ah the that part of your. 17:42.86 Max Shank I. 17:53.20 mikebledsoe Brain doesn't go out there looking for things that don't support it. They're going out there look for things that do support it and so you can tell? Yeah, so when you yeah so when you have stacked a lot of time. 18:03.25 Max Shank Confirmation Bias I think is what that's called think like racism like racism you you get up ah in the morning your parents are racist. They're saying bad things about the neighbors. Maybe you live in a bad area where. 18:14.32 mikebledsoe Um, yeah. 18:20.45 Max Shank All your neighbors are bad white and black and yellow and different colors alike but you only look out like what you were saying with your ah reticular activating system is you look out for those things and not only is it that you see them. Because what you notice is so different than what you see and you just confirm those beliefs over and over again because your vision is crazy small and Selective. You know, kind of going back to the vision Piece. It's a very complex mechanism that. Creates a total illusion inside your brain. 19:02.83 mikebledsoe There was a I was listening to a podcast by Lex Friedman the other day I forget who shared it with me. Um, but he's he's ah interviewing this like evolutionary physicist I don't know like so some some dude that's they. Is way smarter than either None of us and he was talking about. 19:24.72 Max Shank Well I resent that clearly you don't know what the word smart means. 19:29.65 mikebledsoe Ah, this guy. Ah, basically through mathematics is able to demonstrate how our perception is. It's impossible for our perception to match reality. And in fact, it's so far from reality that. Which which isn't not news to you or me but to a lot of people. They they do think that they're noticing some things and then they're perceiving others when in fact, it's None perception that's happening and if we look out through lens of evolution then what we're what we have is. Ah. Ah, ah, the fittest right? It's it's the fittest is what evolves it's not It's not the truth. So the truth does not actually ah doesn't come into play when it comes to survival so whatever you whatever you need to perceive in order to survive. Is how your entire consciousness will develop. 20:33.22 Max Shank When you say truth What do you mean because I I would agree that what a person sees is dependent on their memory because what they're what they're doing is they're differentiating ah the way a picture is interpreted. 20:50.10 mikebledsoe And um. 20:52.71 Max Shank And the picture is just simply about the ah um, the reception of light and we only have a small visible spectrum. So you're talking about the truth being everything versus what is visible to the naked eye. Oh then. 21:08.25 mikebledsoe That's correct. 21:11.57 Max Shank Absolutely I mean there's ah there are some great pictures. You can look up on the electromagnetic spectrum That's like a really cool ah thing to check out. Everything is just buzzing around and some of it. We can see and some of it. We can't and some animals. 21:26.57 mikebledsoe Yeah, and but it's not. It's not necessary. Yeah. 21:30.52 Max Shank And see ultraviolet and Infrared. It's not Useful. It's really about what is a um I feel like I say it all the time.. It's like what is a predictable Pattern. What is a predictable pattern if you have a really hard turtle shell on your back. It's predictable that. Nothing is going to bite through it as long as you're inside the shell if you're inside a cave and the cave is sealed the the jaguar or the leopard or the line will not get you in the night those kind of things are um. 21:52.83 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah. 22:09.88 Max Shank Stuff that we've learned based on what we've seen but it's not the the whole picture right. 22:13.80 mikebledsoe No, no. But yeah, so we look for the fact is almost nobody has an accurate understanding of the world or of themselves. Well that. 22:26.49 Max Shank What do you mean? almost nobody who's this who's this guy that has it all figured out I want to meet this dude and. 22:32.64 mikebledsoe There's this one guy there's this one guy I think that he may have it figured out but he'll remain nameless. 22:40.97 Max Shank He's the one he's the 1 standing on the milk crate at the corner of a Columbus and None right? it it is probably someone like that I mean hey yeah, the concept. 22:44.00 mikebledsoe For sure for sure. He's the fuck crazy fucker lives under the bridge. Well, there's a have you read? the have you read this series by Jed Mckenna okay Jeed Mckenna wrote a ah. 22:57.58 Max Shank M. 23:00.16 mikebledsoe Series. The first book is called spiritual enlightenment The damnedest thing and um I used to be really hesitant to even mention it in public. But I've gotten a little bit looser because you know what if you want to destroy your entire ego. You know who am I to stop you So the. This guy. Ah, this guy wrote this book on Enlightenment. He basically outlines how spirituality is actually ah will keep you from being enlightened and really creates a distinction between the 2 And you know that the the deal is you can't explain what enlightenment is because it's something that would only you can only experience once it's you can only experience it and then once you've experienced it. There's no going back to the illusion and. 23:53.90 Max Shank Well, and once again, what are we trying to describe when we say the word enlightenment so just getting really right? It's ah it's a sign. It's a symbol that we're using to determine like this feeling that we we have this feeling in mind. 23:57.14 mikebledsoe Was It's indescribable. Well well being well being well being. Well different people. Well a lot of people see it as a feeling but the the way the guy describes it This book is that you only see you you know the absolute truth at all times you're. 24:11.78 Max Shank Right? and. 24:21.41 Max Shank Yeah. 24:23.10 mikebledsoe You stabilize that state of consciousness and um, basically life gets incredibly boring because there's no narratives I mean you can witness narratives but you're not actually participating um in them anymore at all. 24:37.11 Max Shank Um, yeah. 24:42.64 mikebledsoe There's nothing to believe about yourself. There's nothing to believe about the world outside of what you can directly validate for yourself through observation and even then the story that tying the the dots together to create a narrative just doesn't exist anymore. 24:59.11 Max Shank It would be so hard to function with other people if you actually did that it'd be. 25:03.36 mikebledsoe Well well in the book If you read the book series. You'd really, there's he he's basically documenting conversations and he fucking almost hates having to interact with people. You know it's It's not a you know he basically just sees everybody as little children. 25:15.30 Max Shank Um, right. 25:21.59 Max Shank Well that I agree with I mean people are like little children. Um. 25:23.32 mikebledsoe Well, he gets into that in the book as well. I think you would enjoy the series. Yeah, it's a it's a trilogy. It's it's I chuckled my way through it and it was. It was pretty good. Ah although I. 25:30.36 Max Shank The series. Okay. 25:40.35 Max Shank I Feel like. 25:42.47 mikebledsoe Read it in 2017 at it early Twenty seventeen it ah it did do a number on me totally totally. 25:46.65 Max Shank Ah, might hit a little different now too. Ah I liked what you said about spirituality getting in the way of enlightenment because when I think of the word enlightenment I Like you know me I like to keep things as simple as possible because I'm not as smart as all these science guys and. 25:55.97 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, yeah. 26:11.66 Max Shank When I think of enlightenment I think about just a reduction in in mass. So you're you're reducing So you're trying to literally make yourself lighter. Yeah, it's like I wrote this phrase down that I've always loved. It's like you can only sharpen. 26:20.42 mikebledsoe It's a destructive process. 26:31.20 Max Shank By removing material like otherwise it's a different thing but you sharpen something by taking stuff away and ah there are a lot of different analogies in some ancient wisdoms About. You know, don't be sharp like a sword you know, let yourself become dull and plain like a stone in a River and that kind of stuff and I really resonate with that and the more you have to keep up with these stories the the more you are burdened. And so it's like how do you find a way to fully connect which is like flow in that moment without getting attached and you realize every attachment you have is derived from that identity that you have all all the attachments. Are in relation to your identity. It's like a big net where you're the center spoke or maybe a wheel where you're in the center and it's all these relationships with everything else. 27:30.19 mikebledsoe Well, the way the way that Jed ah he describes it in the book. He's like you know, a lot of people like to think about what you're talking about these these these beliefs that are in our consciousness like I believe they're in this beautiful web. Or a net or something like that he goes the reality is it's a rat's nest. You have no idea what belongs where until you start pulling a thread and and even then you don't know what? Ah every what all it was connected to and um, yeah, so like that that really hit home for me when. 27:59.22 Max Shank Um, oh yeah. 28:08.74 mikebledsoe Because I up to that point I was thinking Oh there's this beautiful web and if I pull this part of the web then I'm not really sure what'll happen on this other side of the web but he's like now it's a Rat's nest. It's just as a is a disaster zone inside of people's minds. Oh. 28:17.48 Max Shank E. 28:23.29 Max Shank Um, often yeah. 28:27.88 mikebledsoe Which I find to be accurate because anytime I've worked with people through like a belief and then we watch it dissolve. There's just no way to predict how that's going to impact their life. It's like oh I didn't know it wass going to impact that area of your life in that way. Okay, that was a surprise. 28:43.17 Max Shank Some people are more attached. Some people are a little some people have a pretty easy time letting stuff go and some people have ah a really hard time or. 28:44.79 mikebledsoe Some people are more attached. 28:52.64 mikebledsoe I have um so I have a ah story to share I have a ah mentee I was talking to yesterday and he goes mike do you believe in curses I was like well um, you know. If you're talking about someone putting a curse on you if you believe someone put a curse on you then the only way the curse will work is if you believe that the curse is real if you believe that someone put a curse on you then it weren't like you you are cursed and and. 29:21.25 Max Shank Um, then it definitely worked. You're fucked. That's yeah. 29:29.50 mikebledsoe And you're the only one that can undo it right? and so and so that was That's how I started he goes. He's like well well I met this guy and he said that he said that Um, my family had a curse and I. 29:43.89 Max Shank Sounds like 1 of them spiritual ah barriers to enlightenment perhaps or maybe he was right I don't I don't know. 29:48.16 mikebledsoe Yeah, well well Ego I Go what? Well I say I I was like well we have to Define Curse of course that we we do that on the show at Lot. We Define things and I was like like look I don't I don't necessarily believe in curses in the way that ah. People who use that language probably believe in them because I don't need to believe in the curse I Um I I think that people use that language when they're actually confused about what that is. It's like this. It's mystical. And that's one of the things that ah jeed was getting in the book with spirituality is there's so so much mysticism and that is there's so much mystery, There's so much that we don't understand that you have to buy into and that happens a lot in spirituality people start throwing these words around and I don't know what they're talking about. 30:44.60 Max Shank On. 30:44.85 mikebledsoe And I'm pretty sure they have no idea what they're talking about because they just strung together a bunch of words that don't make any sense to to anybody in the room and if I were to ask them to break it down in plain language. It's not going to happen and so anytime anyone starts using a lot of flowery language. Both me my fiancee would just leave. 30:55.95 Max Shank Um, right. 31:04.62 mikebledsoe Like neither one of us like to put up with that that shit you know and so that there's a lot of people in the quote unquote conscious community that exists that like you know I think they're doing good stuff I like them and all that but we're probably not going to hang out I don't want to like those people are confused. And so ah, what. 31:25.45 Max Shank How could people not be confused I mean we act like it's just been this sequential build. But the reality is that cultures and nations and peoples and laws have just been patched together ah time and time again with. Almost never having a chance to really clean the slate. That's why when you have something like America it's like whoa. It's not totally blank slate but it's it's pretty close. They were like okay, let's let's think about this real quick like. 31:54.53 mikebledsoe It was. It was pretty. It was pretty blank. 32:04.41 Max Shank What are we going to do here and because and then of course now what we have is just the patchwork quilt of that initial weaving and we're just sticking stuff in here and we're like oh yeah, the school's not doing so good so they need more tests or we'll teach them the tests ahead of time and. 32:09.64 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, yeah. 32:23.67 Max Shank It's just all these fucking patches and ah so it's no wonder that it's just this absolute cluster fuck like you were saying where most of the stuff you just have to take on faith Ah, which of course is kind of kind of back to. Well. 32:35.95 mikebledsoe We you don't have to I I I try not my my goal is I tell people a lot of times they'll ask me what I believe I go and I said you know I don't believe in much of anything if I can't validate it for myself then I'm gonna tell you. 32:42.72 Max Shank Yeah I mean. 32:55.92 mikebledsoe I don't know. Ah there are things that are useful if I were to believe when I believe this way it's something I can't validate for myself. But I can validate the result of believing it which is ah something I want in my life or something I don't want in my life. So I I like to. 32:56.92 Max Shank O. 33:04.61 Max Shank And. 33:11.30 Max Shank E. 33:14.52 mikebledsoe Be able to admit that I have no idea what the truth is but I do know what's useful and ah there are some things that I can validate for myself and I just know that now going back to the curse and and a curse on the family the the way that I. I Talked about that with him is that every family has a curse and the yeah and they they have some blessings as well. But the but the curse. 33:40.63 Max Shank Whoa How about a blessing do they have blessings Also because if you can curse another person then it would stand to reason that you could also bless them The logic's not sound completely. But. 33:48.22 mikebledsoe Um, yeah, you could. 33:55.70 Max Shank If you believe that you can be cursed. You probably also believe someone could say a prayer for you or give you a blessing or cast a magical spell. 33:59.91 mikebledsoe But I think we've all seen this like I think what? But what he was talking about is that there's a trend in his family. There's a trend of this pattern of behavior and and it seems mysterious to to them and maybe to people around them who who. 34:08.84 Max Shank In. 34:19.57 mikebledsoe Are Not very good at paying attention. Um, they're not in that practice and so but if you pay attention close Enough. You have well there is a pattern of behavior that's leading to these cursed results right? These results to seem to be a curse. Well the curse is going to be a mystery until you. Until you go to? why are people why? what is the behavior that's leading to this and where did that behavior come from and. 34:45.17 Max Shank Back to curiosity if you can get to that state like then then that's like as close as you can get to a ah blank slate moving forward is to get curious about what is rather than confirming what you believe I think is the. 34:52.22 mikebledsoe Key So curiosity keep curiosity. 35:04.14 Max Shank The major key so you're curious about what is or perhaps what can be ah and that way you are not confirming the pre-existing beliefs right? Which definitely feels more stable I mean everything. All the all this talk about writing stuff down and recording things is to increase predictability and stability. So I feel comfortable lending you the None goats. 35:30.35 mikebledsoe Yeah, well this is what as you I said Curiosity is the cure for curses. So if you if we're going to show title somehow. So so so um, look so I'm talking to him and I go. 35:38.60 Max Shank Um, cool. That's that sounds nice. 35:50.26 mikebledsoe This is the curse is what your parents learn from from their parents and then what they taught you is is there's an ancestral pattern of behavior that's playing out and if you don't understand how that pattern works then it's going to be mysterious. And then someone's going to come along and and use the label curse because it's the word curse is kind of a mysterious thing in itself like Witches curse things and that you know it's kind of like it's magic. Yeah, so like I and then so I have to go back in that. Yeah. 36:15.78 Max Shank Um, yeah, like a Hex or something like that. Yeah, but you can use magic for good too. You know. 36:24.97 mikebledsoe It to something that's magical or mystical is just something you don't understand how it works yet. Yeah. 36:29.62 Max Shank Yes, exactly magic You don't get the trick and as soon as you know how it works. It's not magic anymore. It's just a trick hey do the trick. You know it's magic when you don't follow what's happening and most things really are magic I'm a very curious guy I don't like to not know stuff. 36:36.33 mikebledsoe Now. 36:47.11 mikebledsoe Yeah. 36:49.43 Max Shank Honestly, maybe it's maybe it's a character defect or an an effect I don't I don't know exactly what it is but ah, it's really difficult actually to know how stuff works just if you look around wherever you are right now and just try to figure out how all the stuff is working. Unless you are a like Captain Science or something like that. You're going to find it really taxing to figure out how everything works in the world around you and I think one of the things about objectivism which is where i'm. Trying to come at things from it's weird I'm like objectivist in terms of like if it works I'm going to use it and that's good enough for me and also a more metaphysical connection to an everlasting eternal and infinite source that is. Totally the opposite of objective. It's completely subjective. It's like a feeling that it's funny because it's either ah true or not true and so if I am making myself. Believe that it is true and it gives me a good feeling then I just kind of gave myself a little blessing basically and I think that's a lot of what religion is about It's like hey you know what it feels good that there is a wise fatherly figure who's not too hands on. 38:06.49 mikebledsoe Exactly. 38:21.42 Max Shank By the way, not an overbearing parent or father figure all powerful looking out for me. He loves me says so in the book. That's that's going to feel pretty nice I can totally understand what I would feel nice. Are you kidding. 38:33.16 mikebledsoe Yeah, well you know, ah this brings up. Yeah well well I see a huge like a really beneficial place for religion. Um, you know when I look at when I look at you know people that are you know mainstream people. 38:38.37 Max Shank About the boost in morale. 38:47.62 Max Shank Fanatics. Oh. 38:51.95 mikebledsoe Religion is a really great way to get them to behave like if somebody doesn't hasn't been through the questions and the logic and really sat with themselves and have an understanding of like ah of karma basically cause and effect how you know if I do this and I get this result. Most people have no idea that person is going to do really good going to church on Sunday and having the None commandments repeated to them and because the 10 commandments. It's kind of hard hard to argue with that shit like. 39:26.10 Max Shank It's a bit outlandish really I mean no killing or coveting the neighbor's wife give me a break. 39:30.48 mikebledsoe I think there was there was I think the one that don't covet your neighbor's wife is the only one that does not include an action that every the 9 commandments was don't do these things and then the last one was like. 39:47.64 Max Shank Don't even want this. 39:49.67 mikebledsoe Stamp out that desire like it was the it was the only one that was around desire. Everything else was about behavior so which is really really interesting that it that it that it was wrapped like that which I think is also really good advice. Ah you want to be miserable. 39:58.36 Max Shank Um, it's like yeah, ah. 40:07.81 Max Shank Just covet everything You don't have. 40:08.31 mikebledsoe Like it. Yeah I mean just means to have envy you know to be jealous like it's like oh you know that dude's wife is hotter than mine I I think about her all the time talk about suffering you want to make yourself suffer. 40:21.16 Max Shank How about the illusion. How about the illusion like that I mean you bring up a great point could talk about it all day. But I won't I mean look at what we do to fabricate a better illusion shiny sports cars glittery tits. We're doing the whole nine yards just to. We're so hyper audio visual. We're so hypervisual. It's insane and you know that. 40:46.44 mikebledsoe I think 75% of your perception at least seventy five eighty percent on the yeah well the eyes are just an extension of your nervous system. It's just like your nerves have come out and it makes more sense. It makes sense. 40:53.42 Max Shank Um, it's like. 41:00.69 Max Shank Yeah, yeah, no I follow I Follow what you're ah what you're going at um I think it's interesting. A lot of people consume media now with the sound off and it's just visual isn't that interesting. 41:03.82 mikebledsoe Now. 41:10.63 mikebledsoe I Do I I I have everything set up to where I have to like purposely turn the sound on and and I hope if you don't have a caption on your video I'm I'm skipping right over because I don't want to interrupt I don't want to interrupt my music. 41:19.50 Max Shank Um, yeah. 41:24.52 Max Shank Um, oh shit game over that. 41:29.22 mikebledsoe And got my music playing to my phone now I'm going to have some fucking Instagram real barin now get out of here. So I caption everything. Ah. 41:33.86 Max Shank Totally totally totally. But I think that just goes to show that we we are. We're very one-dimensional and very heavily focused on the vision and this whole this whole thing. It's like we're not quite. 41:42.53 mikebledsoe Yeah. 41:52.86 Max Shank Um, full slaves to our primal ah lust and hunger which that's pretty fun. That's one good option but we're also not fully bought in to this enlightened state either. You know? So we're not we're not really ah enjoying the primal ah savageness and we're also not really in the egoless enviousless wrathless smoothness of ah you know, connected communication and communion. With other things and ah creatures in your universe which is your unique perspective. So. It's a but it's a real bummer to be between those 2 is that's like the worst place you don't really get the benefit of either None you know you're. 42:35.65 mikebledsoe Yeah, ah. 42:46.30 mikebledsoe Ah, yeah. 42:49.76 Max Shank Lizard Brain afraid all the time you're not really getting the you know the the lust and the hunger they're full due and you're not on the the wizard mode either sounds awful just bought in the illusion. 42:58.50 mikebledsoe Terrible terrible. So ah, so so there there was this moment I had where I um I really got to have um, an appreciation for religion I was it was ah. 2018 I was in ah Paris France and I went to see Notre ah Notre Dame um and before it burned ah and I got to go I walked in. 43:22.62 Max Shank Any. 43:33.80 Max Shank Um I did too. It was awesome I might have been there in the same year I might have been there at like the same time is fucking weird. We were there on a date. 43:36.17 mikebledsoe So cool. So I walked in I'm looking at oh oh weird. So they add all this these ah these these monk These monks had like these hats. You know you saw like the hats with the Jewels and. 43:50.57 Max Shank Just kidding like. 43:55.44 mikebledsoe And everything and are and I'm in there and I'm looking at the the cathedral from inside and I go and then I went and looked at the outside I was like man there is a lot of symbolism here and I was like this is super psychedelic like yeah, what I'm looking at. 44:08.63 Max Shank Um, lot of fancy hats in religions too. 44:13.71 mikebledsoe What I'm looking at is it looks very mystical and reminds me I remember looking at this one piece and I was like that's a fucking dmt trip right? there I'm gonna tell you right now I've I've been there and I and then I started seeing it everywhere I was like this is. These cathedrals in Europe are so psychedelic and so I'm in Notre domina and I'm like I'm like okay I'm getting a download here. Let's go home. Went back to the apartment I booked a tour. 44:32.94 Max Shank Um. 44:45.59 mikebledsoe For the next day I was like I need I need like a proper tour this me wandering around and by myself not going to cut it and so what do I do I drop acid before the tour because I'm a genius and ah. We signed up for a group tour but we were me and my ex-wife were the only 2 that signed up so we had a private tour while on Assad and we we got to go the guy was like I normally don't tell people about this because if there's catholics ah in the group they get really triggered. 45:06.25 Max Shank Amazing. 45:20.80 mikebledsoe Because there was so much of the symbolism on the church was taken from ah ancient Egypt and and basically every religion up to that point is represented in in Notre Dame um which makes it even more interesting than some of the other cathedrals. Yeah, it's. 45:34.90 Max Shank See I didn't I didn't even know that that's awesome I checked it out but I did not get a tour I Certainly didn't get that. 45:40.33 mikebledsoe Ah, there there is references in the architecture to ah the chakras 7 chakras it's very it to me. It was like very blatant but ah to someone who's. 45:48.49 Max Shank So now. 45:54.34 Max Shank Ah, neat. That's awesome. That's neat. No no, no, that's neat. No, that's really cool. This is neat. 45:59.19 mikebledsoe Ah, he said 8 I was like but ah that is neat. So so i' go inside and I and I get to spend a couple I you know how long I spend because I'm on asset two or three hours with this tour guide and we're just jamming I'm like just pulling all the information out of him and I'm like I'm like well what do you think about this, he goes. 46:13.30 Max Shank A. 46:18.69 mikebledsoe Oh you're one of those I was like yeah man I don't care like like let's really go there So I got to go there with this guy and basically what I got the conclusion I came to is these monks are sitting in the church in a dark room and they're in there just chanting chanting for days. 46:19.83 Max Shank Are in. 46:37.72 mikebledsoe Chanting and chant they're getting into these psychedelic states they're doing it through chanting. Maybe they're drinking some wine and chanting and they're getting into this weird state and maybe there's some mushrooms in the wine who the fuck knows and they get these. They get all this information they get they get to have contact. 46:43.57 Max Shank Yep. 46:56.58 mikebledsoe With the divine this they have this mystical experience that they then get their experience truth in a way that you can't explain to somebody else. But once you have this experience. You go. You know we probably you know. 47:06.12 Max Shank Oh. 47:13.26 mikebledsoe Property rights is a thing and the cat back then the Catholic Church controlled property if you want to buy or sell you know your deed it was held with the Catholic Church and and Notre Damme was ah was it started being built I want to say in 808 or 900 somewhere there and wasn't finished until like well technically still not finished. But. I think it was ah like a none project so it was not a short project. 47:36.19 Max Shank Um, the 151516 sounds right to me fifteen sixteen hundred I can't recall maybe as late as 17 47:43.49 mikebledsoe Well I think they then I think they may have had like a finishing point but then they started up again and depending on who was who was who believed what at the time they would like tear down a statue and put a different statue up and all the shit. Yeah. 47:51.63 Max Shank Rebuilding and building. 47:59.10 Max Shank Funky right? I remember there were some cool statues and like gargoyles and devils on the outside and shut like that there. It was actually the outside was super hardcore I remember looking at that for a long time. There was a lot of angels and demons. 48:01.37 mikebledsoe Um, yeah, it's like like super hardcore. 48:14.38 mikebledsoe And Mary with Mary with a torch surrounded by gargoyles and yeah, it's fucking wild and so um, so I I got thinking about it and I got to appreciate I go all these peasants outside they're giving them gifts because they come out. 48:15.38 Max Shank Devils and freaky shit. Yeah, you know that would. 48:33.28 mikebledsoe After days of chanting go I got the message I had a meeting with god I had this divine mystical experience and you know what Don not don't try to fuck your buddys wife you know, ah and you shouldn't steal shit and you know what I mean like. 48:49.10 Max Shank Um. 48:52.30 mikebledsoe All these rules were created by the church. Um, but they're not they weren't new but like there was other rules like they had you know the church was running shit back then they were really running shit until around the fifteen hundreds and so um, ah. 48:55.35 Max Shank Um, well those aren't new ideas though at that point either. 49:03.78 Max Shank Yeah. 49:11.68 mikebledsoe I Really just got a big appreciation for religion at that point because I go well for me to expect for everybody to have had I've had a lot of mystical experiences. You know that the meeting with God has happened several times where. 49:23.44 Max Shank Um. 49:29.44 mikebledsoe I Go into this really deep state and things become very obvious and the behaviors that follow like oh yeah I should change this I shouldn't shouldn't behave like this anymore like this because I'm at a blindment with this other thing and so as like I'm just making myself miserable. 49:35.35 Max Shank What. 49:47.91 mikebledsoe So when I first had that experience I go everybody should have this experience and then after years of promoting people to have this experience I Realized a ah most people are not willing to have the experience. They're not. They're not even curious about it. It's not interesting to them and then B some people. 49:52.47 Max Shank Um I. 50:02.82 Max Shank And. 50:06.73 mikebledsoe Become curious about it and they probably shouldn't have touched it because they don't they couldn't they they can't handle. There's they don't have enough like some type of mental construct in order to handle the the weight of that experience because you're going from 0 to 60 50:24.37 Max Shank Um. 50:26.10 mikebledsoe And ah and a split second with some of these things. Um, and so. 50:29.42 Max Shank Yeah, it's way faster than chanting. It's like you can achieve kind of a similar experience with a lot of different things like you can get the runners high or you can just ah smoke a blunt or something like that you can chant for three days or you can just drop some acid. 50:41.10 mikebledsoe Totally yeah. 50:47.13 Max Shank And so we have all these shortcuts to get into that state and I think it's a connected and receptive state. It allows you to see past your own illusion I think it it temporarily depending on the dosage right. 51:03.32 mikebledsoe Yep. 51:04.40 Max Shank Temporarily takes away that tight grip on the um ego that you've built essentially as a suit of armor to survive the environment that you live in and we live in an environment where stories matter quite a lot I Mean. Like the the reality of how I am on a day-to-day. Basis is so different than from what you would find if you just searched for me on the internet. You would think that all I do is play Sports lift weights. 51:33.37 mikebledsoe Um, yeah. 51:40.74 Max Shank And dance in my backyard with my shirt off but I call it mobility instead of dancing and that would be That's like the whole thing. That's that's the illusion that's out there. So whatever. Whatever avatar you project out you you use it. Maybe not as armor maybe almost as like a scuba suit to enter the environment of society that we're in so it's natural that you would want to do that. You'd want to have armor plating you'd want to have these ah pretty colors on this avatar. So people really like it and maybe someone will even love you. If Your feathers are are pretty enough and so everything is just reinforcing these ideas but it's still coming from like a lizard brain type of desire and so it's no wonder that people are a little tangled up. Like in like a ah web of self and parents and teachers and fame and shame and blame and all these different things like that's why when you were like oh people are just children I'm like yeah they're like often abused children and abuse is like. It happens in so many different ways. It's like ah probably like 1 of the least popular things to talk about is rape but the only problem with rape is the lack of consent because nearly everybody is on board with sex and a lot of people from both genders like raping. Also. But that's like maybe even another. Ah, that's a different can of worms that I'm not not looking to unpack right now off the cuff because well look. It's um. 53:23.68 mikebledsoe Why'd you even mention it. 53:29.53 Max Shank People have their boundaries crossed in a lot of different ways and the the thing is it's that feeling of having your boundary crossed and so people feel um, abused or diminished or beaten down or taken from in a lot of different ways and so it's like. That idea that ah wherever you get wounded the bone grows back twice as strong like the calcification is like your personality from all these miniature traumas you've had and if someone's. Forcing you to do None thing or another they're still forcing you to do None thing or another and how you can harmonize that into the future is going to determine how you find the world and you know there are different levels of trauma. But if you're not willing to let it go. You are just going to go ah equal and opposite to that force basically right. 54:25.32 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, yeah. 54:31.37 Max Shank Ah, yeah, So I'm not Surprised. People are all all twisted up with identity and perception and I know personally I've found a lot of peace through trying to see things as they are. And it's not something that is like on off switch but it can happen really fast all at once. In fact, just for anyone listening. It's kind of an interesting thing in my experience. It's not a linear progress on this sort of. Thinking it All. It's like giant leaps forward and then a little plateau and then a giant leap forward and then a little Plateau I don't know what it's been like for you. But. 55:17.51 mikebledsoe Yeah, it? um well the giant leaps forward or never yeah, they can be difficult. But yeah, it seems like seems like there's this giant leap forward then I got to stabilize the jump right? There's not a. So like oh I jump forward and everything's Great. It's like oh now because in those giant leaps especially if you have a shift in your own identity then everybody in your life. You're about to ah destroy their expectations of you. The stability is gone. 55:37.27 Max Shank But. 55:49.48 Max Shank Well, the Stability's gone right? The stability. 55:54.85 mikebledsoe There's chaos it creates chaos and it creates chaos for your friends and your family because they can count on you to behave like this whether it's a good behavior or not and they're even looking to count on. They're counting on you to behave poorly and then all of a sudden you do something in order to be successful. 56:05.51 Max Shank Right. 56:13.73 mikebledsoe And they may even get mad at you about it. They like like I've I've had people in the past that were like mad that I was successful enough to where I didn't have to run my gym anymore they were like oh you're like leaving. 56:17.74 Max Shank They'll definitely get mad at you about it. A lot of the time. 56:26.48 Max Shank A. 56:30.18 mikebledsoe Things behind you, you're you're changing and you're a different person like and they're mad about it I go Well yeah, that was isn't that the point like what do you think I was doing all this work for to stay the same. 56:34.66 Max Shank Um, yeah, yeah, dude I remember that I remember the one that made me laugh The hardest um I fired this guy who worked for me because he was lying to me. 56:54.19 mikebledsoe Yeah. 56:54.45 Max Shank And if I can't trust someone. It's basically like see you later you know and 1 of the members at my gym texted me and said I can't believe you did this. You're really ruining my happiness. 57:05.62 mikebledsoe Ah, you're in charge of their happiness. All of a sudden. 57:11.00 Max Shank I just thought it was so funny. It was like anything different. This guy's like totally lost it and you know there are two sides to every story right? So there's no point in trying to have like an argument about its rightness or wrongness it. It just is what it is. It's like that Mark Twain quote how his. Taylor was the only reasonable person because he took his measurement new every time instead of measuring him against how he was in the past and dude absolutely like if you quit drinking I think that's ah one that a lot of people relate to you know. 57:34.38 mikebledsoe Um, yeah. 57:45.54 mikebledsoe Oh yeah. 57:48.86 Max Shank Ah, used to be a bit of a party animal or just ah, a different type of party animal and as soon as you stop as soon as you stop doing that They're like what do? what are you doing? You're you're like ditching us. Oh you're too good for us or something I guess like no man like just doing a different thing. 57:51.25 mikebledsoe Yeah I had the same thing quit drinking. Yeah. 58:03.26 mikebledsoe Well it kind of sucks when you stop drinking because I had this experience I remember it was yeah it's like well 20 I remember it was like 2013 and i. 58:12.44 Max Shank That's where our culture has fun for adults. That's like the place. 58:21.61 mikebledsoe I had to actually cut back on drinking a little bit up to that point not completely I started smoking a little bit of weed when I was my and 2011 so I started smoking weed because I didn't like how I was behaving when I was on alcohol I was. Blacking out I was doing and saying stupid shit. Um I was around like my gym members. You know I'd be out at a bar with gym members. The next thing you know like like what what did I say last night I don't even know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, the next day is like. 58:52.55 Max Shank Feeling of up. 58:57.14 mikebledsoe I Just I don't know what I did but I got this feeling. It wasn't good. You know, ah and so I cut back the drink and I I discovered that weed if I smoked a little weed before I went out I would drink way less and then weed would make me way less aggressive. 58:59.53 Max Shank Right. 59:14.18 mikebledsoe So I could still be out I could still be sociable. 59:14.87 Max Shank Um, oh you think Alcohol alcohol is like so crazy when you think about it that we're just like yeah whatever you can have it have as much as you want? whatever. 59:21.30 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, yeah, but but I was using the weed to like offset the you know it calm me down and and then I would just drink less and because I was already kind of feeling it if I drink too much while being high that ah that. Wasn't fun I would I would hit it. 59:40.75 Max Shank But it sounds like yeah I mean it sounds like you got to that point where you were ah using your intuition and getting curious about it instead of just writing the momentum of like oh it's Friday let's all get drunk because that's just what we do and I think a lot of folks. 59:52.70 mikebledsoe Yeah now. 01:00:00.12 Max Shank Maybe don't even like it that much. They just want to be liked so they'll do the thing that gets people to like them. You know, drinking can be a competition that you can win speaking of life as a game. 01:00:04.36 mikebledsoe Well, it's. 01:00:12.87 Max Shank As soon as I figured that out I was like hey I bet I could poison myself twice as fast as you motherfucker and that everyone's like yeah you did it. 01:00:19.94 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, if you ever win a drink game. It doesn't It's never as cool as you think it's gonna be and a lot of people need that liquid courage. You know like it's the only way they can. It's like ah well it's it's it's well they have to like D It's like. 01:00:34.52 Max Shank Be sexual. It's the only way they can like let their guard down. 01:00:39.39 mikebledsoe It detaches them from themselves enough to where they can just kind of let loose. But anyways I digress I um so in 2013 I started eating way more psychedelic mushrooms and then after my None big psychedelic mushroom experience. 01:00:44.50 Max Shank Um, yeah. 01:00:56.66 mikebledsoe I cut out alcohol a hundred percent I 01:01:00.40 Max Shank Dude, we should do a series of shows on a different substance every week guys. We're gonna start it. Nice and simple coffee week. One is coffee nice and simple week two. We bring out a little booze week 3 weed week 4 01:01:03.90 mikebledsoe Ah, it's not the None time I've heard this pitch. 01:01:12.40 mikebledsoe I want to do it now I want to do it's a lead magnet. It's a lead magnet. We'll do 10 shows on 10 different substances and there's ah the lead magnet is that you can um you have to figure out which substance we were on. It's a mystery. 01:01:17.14 Max Shank Okay, we're going to go in Spain. 01:01:31.10 mikebledsoe During the show and if you can match it up successfully you get a prize. Yeah, you have to like you know label it. There's gonna be 10 shows 10 substances definitely social security number. Um yeah I think that's a great idea. So. 01:01:32.90 Max Shank Um, and you only get None guess. You got to enter your social security number. 01:01:49.87 mikebledsoe Started eating mushrooms and I cut out alcohol completely and I was the guy you know I owned the gym I was I had a a house with a big backyard at a pool and you know I I bought the house because it was a great place to entertain guests. So I'm throwing these parties I got a keg in the backyard like we're doing everything. 01:01:52.25 Max Shank A. 01:02:08.74 mikebledsoe I'm not drinking and it's not 1 those things where I'm like I'm trying not to drink is just like I really just don't give a fuck about having a drink at all like someone can hand me a beer and it's like 0 desire. Yeah. 01:02:09.43 Max Shank Yeah. 01:02:20.10 Max Shank But well you got something better something that that suits you better. That's what it's about right? It's like let's get intuitive about the different medicines that we're applying. 01:02:28.91 mikebledsoe Yeah, and so I just remember this one afternoon I've got a bunch of people in my house were standing in a circle. Everyone's got a red solo cup in their hand I'm drinking water and I'm happy as a clam. And I probably smoked a little bit of weed. Um, but I kept on trying to have conversations that had way more depth than what I would have when I was on alcohol and I just remember people looking at me weird I Remember people getting uncomfortable and walking away and it was. 01:02:54.51 Max Shank Or you can. 01:03:06.10 mikebledsoe It was all of a sudden there was this barrier between me and the people who I had been getting drunk with for years and having a good time with and when I look back and I go oh I just wasn't meeting their expectation of who they believe Mike Bletzo to be. They didn't know what to do with me and in fact. 01:03:20.41 Max Shank Inhale. 01:03:23.72 mikebledsoe Probably didn't weren't that interested in talking to me because they were wanting to talk to a guy that was more like who I was behaving like and so. 01:03:31.56 Max Shank And I mean your cells are all changing except for like neurons basically throughout your whole life. They're they're dividing and dying and dividing and dying. They're going through this process of death and rebirth and so. 01:03:38.33 mikebledsoe Yeah. 01:03:50.75 Max Shank If most of your cells are different seven years later wouldn't like you also be quite different seven years later and the fact of the matter is your brain and the pathways in your brain can change way way faster. 01:03:57.28 mikebledsoe Absolutely. 01:04:10.50 mikebledsoe Well yeah, the first was it in and exercise sci

Steamy Stories Podcast
Home for Horny Monsters: The Nymph in the Tub! -

Steamy Stories Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 31, 2022


Home for Horny Monsters: The Nymph in the Tub! - Mike, a young bachelor; inherits an old house from a spinster great aunt. (part 1)By writerannabelle.  Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Mike stared at the Victorian style home in awe, the sheer scale of it overwhelming him. Tower-like structures gave the blue dwelling a medieval touch, and the house was ringed in simple gardens with waist high shrubs that were in desperate need of a trim. Stone lions guarded the walk to the front door, and a cobblestone path disappeared around the back.“Impressive, isn't it?” Mike, startled, dropped his sleeping bag. He bent down to pick it up, feeling warmth rise up in his cheeks. “I'm afraid you have quite a task ahead of you, Mr. Radley.”Mike let out a nervous laugh as Beth, his great aunt's estate representative, walked past. The woman was taller than him, very attractive, and all business. Her dark hair wrapped up in a bun, she paused to check something on her clipboard. Mike took the opportunity to admire her backside through the thin layer of her pencil skirt. Very faint panty lines ran around her buttocks, lines that Mike had trouble taking his eyes away from. She turned to face him, and he pretended to struggle with his sleeping bag.“I doubt you'll need that,” she pointed out, lending him a hand. She smelled like peaches and something floral, a scent he couldn't quite place. “The house has plenty of space.”“I've been a boy scout since I was six,” he replied. “Be prepared. That's my motto.”“Uh huh.” Beth helped him secure the bag under his arm. “Trust me when I say you won't need it.” She led him up the stairs, the wooden deck creaking slightly under their weight. Mike stared briefly at the swinging chair on the front porch, moving slightly in the breeze. As Beth produced a key, she looked at Mike. “This must be like a fairy tale to you.”“No such thing as fairy tales. Just a weird coincidence.” He said, careful to keep his eyes above the lacy top of her blouse. Women, as a rule, made him nervous. Particularly the pretty ones.“You hear about these things all the time,” she said, sliding the key into the lock. “But you never get to see them play out.” The door stuck in the frame, and Beth leaned her shoulder in to give it a shove. A strand of hair came loose from her bun as she pushed her way inside. “A long-lost relative dying and leaving everything to you.”“Yeah. Lucky me.” Mike followed her inside. The house was cool, and dark. Beth opened up some of the windows, allowing the light to come in. The furniture in the home was all covered, giving the sitting room the eerie appearance of a haunted house. Beth pulled the cover off of the couch, sending a small layer of dust into the air.“You don't seem very keen on the idea, Mr. Radley.” Beth uncovered the coffee table with one hand, and set her purse and clipboard down. “It is a very nice house.”“It's not the house. And call me Mike.” Mike threw his sleeping bag on a clean portion of the floor along with his backpack. Out of habit, he slipped off his shoes at the door.“Well, Mike, we went through an awful lot of trouble tracking you down.” Beth uncovered a nearby love seat. “This home was only weeks away from being liquidated by the firm.”“Which I understand is still an option?” Mike asked, staring at the pale yellow curtains.“Correct.” Beth picked up her clipboard. “Only if you decide not to keep it.”“Right.” Mike looked down the long hallway to the kitchen. “I'm not used to having so much space. Gives me the creeps.”“By nature, homes of this style are actually quite cozy.” Beth led the way to the kitchen, the heels of her boots clicking on the hardwood floor. “There is quite a bit of space for you to spread out.”“I've never lived in anything with more than two bedrooms.” Mike responded, following the woman. Beth checked the appliances to make sure they still worked, and showed Mike where the fuse box was. A brief tour of the kitchen turned up several jars of preserved jellies, an old box of cat biscuits, and an empty tub of ice cream in the freezer.“So, where is the cat?” Mike asked, shaking the box of biscuits.“As far as we know, she didn't have one. Your great aunt conscripted our services long before my parents were even out of high school, and rarely contacted the firm. According to our sources, she was largely a shut-in. It's likely those treats are older than you or I.”“As long as she wasn't eating them,” Mike muttered, throwing the biscuits back in the cupboard.“So, you've only lived in apartments?” Beth led Mike to the stairs. As she climbed, Mike paused to look in the living room. Sure enough, a creepy fucking porcelain doll sat right above the fireplace, legs draped over the mantle. He shivered and looked up the stairs. Enough of Beth's legs were showing that he could see the top of her stockings. Jesus. He pulled hard on the railing, eager to catch up.“Yeah. My mom was always unemployed, so we were always staying with friends.” Memories of being crammed away in the back of someone else's home made him shudder. Long nights pressed up against his own mother as they shared a bed, the smell of alcohol oozing from her pores and stinging his eyes. Years of therapy might have helped him over the worst of it, but he still had nights where he woke up panicked, convinced that he was crammed in bed again with his mother.“Sounds rough.” Beth said. She opened up a door, revealing a study. “This is the office. Everything in here was custom built out.”“I don't see a router.” Mike walked in, looking around the room. The shelves in the room were packed with poetry books and different inspirational pieces. Fake flowers adorned every free inch of desk space.“Your great aunt didn't have Internet.”“Well, I will.” Mike frowned, looking out the window. He could see how overgrown the back yard had become. A large stone fountain full of muck had been overgrown with weeds. “I build websites for a living. If I decide to keep the place, I will need to get it installed.”Beth was already making notes on her clipboard. “I will see what we can do. Just to remind you, this home is on the list of historical places, so we may experience some delays.”Mike waved a hand dismissively, kneeling beneath the desk. “I have my ways. Just get me some sort of high speed line, I'll do the rest.” He stuck his hands behind the desk, feeling for an outlet.“Let me show you to the guest room,” Beth said, reminding him that she was still there. Mike smacked his head on the desk as he stood. He grinned sheepishly, rubbing the top of his head as he followed her back into the hall. Beth opened up another door, showing him a plain twin sized bed with a large pink comforter. Daisies were embroidered across the top.“I have no words.” Mike said, staring at the guest bed.“I don't blame you.” Beth opened up the closet. “There are some spare linens, but they aren't any better.”“What use does a shut in have for a guest room?” Mike inspected the closet. In the bottom, he saw another porcelain doll.“My best guess is that it was a room your father stayed in as a child.”“You think?” Mike held up one end of the pink comforter.Beth laughed. “I never said it was a good idea. Your dad had some cousins, and most were little girls once.”“I'm sure.” Mike stared at the bed, his thoughts drifting. Was it actually possible that his own father had slept beneath this roof? The man had died not long after Mike was born, lost to an aggressive form of cancer. It was the same disease that had led his own mother to drink. Thinking of his mother, he looked at the tiny bed and shivered. No fucking way. He needed a larger bed.“Where did Great Aunt Mabel sleep?” he asked.“In her room, down the hall.” Beth paused. “She died in there.”“In the bed?” Mike was already wondering where he could unroll his sleeping bag.“No, if that's what you are worried about.” Beth took him back into the hall. Mike found himself staring again at her butt. His eyes flicked up to hers as she looked back. “It's this one right here.”Beth opened up the door. The room was large, the ceiling elevated. Mike realized he was in one of the round, tower rooms he had seen from the front. The bed was centered along the back wall, a large four poster with draping curtains all around. His eyes followed the curve of the walls, taking in the intricate molding along the mid wall and ceiling. Two dressers, a standing armoire, and a mirrored nightstand were all uncovered by Beth as she made her rounds. A large opening signaled the entrance to the bathroom. Towards the other side of the room, a large oriental rug covered the floor.“The rug is in an odd place,” Mike said, pointing at it.“It was some time before we found your aunt,” Beth replied. “We're working on finding proper replacement material. It isn't easy to find hundred year old hardwood flooring that matches the surrounding floor.”“Why not replace it all?”“Historical society, remember?”“Ah.” Mike stared at the bed. It was easily a king size. “Her heart gave out?”“She was 96. It happens.” Beth looked at her clipboard. “I made myself a few notes. I just need a signature to authorize some purchases.”“Of course.” Mike ignored Beth for the moment as he walked in the bathroom. “Holy shit, have you seen this thing?”Beth laughed behind him. “I have. Impressive, isn't it?”Mike stared at the largest, claw-footed bath tub he had ever seen. Looking at Beth with large eyes, he hopped inside it, laying down along the bottom. Neither his head or feet touched the edges, and he reached his arms out. They were almost fully extended before touching the sides.“I will admit, your Great Aunt's taste in decor is questionable in areas, but this is probably my favorite piece here.” Beth sat along the side of the bath, staring in at Mike. Mike sat up, looking over the side of the tub. The edge was to his chin.“I feel like I'm sitting in a boat.” Mike turned his attention to the spigot. Two separate faucets made of some sort of bronze fed the tub. “Does it still work?”“I assume so. We had the home inspected in case we were selling it.” Beth stroked one of the spigots. “I wish I could try it out.”“Hop in. Plenty of room.” The words were out of his mouth before his brain could stop them. He looked away, pretending to fiddle with the faucets.Beth laughed. “Afraid I'm too busy at the moment.” Extending a hand, she helped Mike stand. He had to lift his legs high to step out of the basin. “Maybe I can house sit sometime.”“I'll leave you some bath beads.” Mike stepped back to admire the tub. “I've never been a fan of baths, but this may be big enough to change my mind.”Taking a wide berth around the carpet in the bedroom, Mike followed Beth through the remaining rooms of the house. Beth made several notes on her clipboard, noting necessary adjustments. Mike's Great Aunt had left behind a very large sum of money, and her will stipulated that her oldest surviving relative be given full opportunity to make the house livable before selling it. Mike was well aware that one offer to buy was on the table already, a group of women who wanted to turn the place into a local museum. He had never been able to set roots down, rarely living anywhere longer than six months.Beth stood at the front door, going over her checklist. Mike stared out the front window, watching the swinging chair rock in place. She had said his name twice before he snapped back to reality.“Sorry, lost in thought,” he apologized. “What did you say?”“I said I can swing by tomorrow to take you shopping. Your Great Aunt had a car, but I wouldn't recommend going anywhere in it. You're going to need to get some essentials if you're going to make this place a home.” Beth let the clipboard relax. “Which I hope you do. It was her utmost wish that the home stay in the family. I know you have already voiced some concerns over maintaining the property, but I really think you should give this place a shot.”“Yeah, maybe.” Mike gave her a small smile. “This is a unique opportunity after all.”“Good. You have my business card, so don't hesitate to contact me for anything.” Beth picked up her purse from the coffee table.“Actually, there is something.” Beth waited patiently as Mike walked over to the fireplace, removing the porcelain doll. “I don't care how, just get rid of it.”Beth stared at the doll and laughed. “I'm on it. Have a good night, Mike.” She walked out the door and down the steps. Mike watched her as she went, the clicking of her heels on pavement echoing across the deck. He waved as she got in her car on the street and drove away.The swinging chair creaked softly. Mike stepped onto the deck, staring at the offending piece of furniture. He unhinged the chains, lowering the seat to the deck. He let the front door shut softly behind him.-Night crept up on Mike as he whittled away his evening on his laptop. Using his neighbor's unprotected Wi-Fi, he checked on several sites he had been maintaining, answered some of his emails, and opened up his bank statements. None of the money his Great Aunt left him had been transferred in yet, but he pictured the new amount in place of his current one and wondered.What would he even do with all that cash? If he were to sell the home, he would be walking around with several million and nothing to spend it on. He had been poor as a child, poor enough that by the time he worked his way through college, he was simply used to the survivor's lifestyle. All the clothes he owned would easily fit in two suitcases, and the bulk of his belongings were made up of a couple of desktop PC's and a tablet at his apartment.He finally noticed the time near the bottom of his screen and shut down shop for the night. It was nearing eleven, and he still hadn't even eaten dinner. A quick search on his phone revealed a nearby pizza place, and he ordered himself a medium sausage with a 2 liter of Sprite. He wandered the lonely rooms, eventually tossing his bag in his Great Aunt's bedroom. He drifted through the house, picking up random belongings, trying to envision the woman his Great Aunt was.He had looked her up on line. She had inherited the house from her own aunt (a notorious spinster) at a young age, living off of several very own railroad bonds that had paid off big in the 1940's. A job as a librarian supplemented her income through her fifties, and then she had simply shut herself away.Not completely, though. Mike noted that some of the purchases in the home must have been made in the last couple of years. A few of the books in the library had tipped him off. She must have left on rare occasions, or at least hired somebody to shop for her. To be honest, the thought was pretty appealing to him.The doorbell startled him out of his reverie, and he nearly dropped a clown figurine he had pulled from the shelf in front of him. He put it back and walked to the front door.“Hi!” The pizza delivery man was, in fact, a gorgeous blonde girl, likely a college student. Her hair had been swooped back into a ponytail, and she was wearing a stylish pair of black rim glasses. The name-tag on her jacket said Dana. “Your house is gorgeous!” She handed him his soda.“Uh, yeah.” He leaned forward to help her take the food from its special cooler, and accidentally brushed against her breast through her jacket with his hand.“I don't think I've ever delivered here before,” she added, staring past him into the home. “Are you new in town?”“First day.” He handed her a pair of tens. As she dug into her pouch for change, he caught just a whiff of her perfume. His world started closing in. “No worries, keep it?”“Seriously?” Her eyes were huge as he nodded.“Yeah, no problem.” He let the door close as she thanked him. Placing the pizza on the coffee table, he took a few deep breaths. The sensation of her breast against the back of his hand, the sheer firmness of it, accompanied by the scent of her perfume had given him a surprisingly hard erection.He ran through the house, flipping on all of the lights. His mother's voice attempted to rise up in the back of his mind, but he shut it out. Years of sharing a bed with her had inevitably led to an incident, shortly before his eleventh birthday, when he had awaken suddenly to a slap in the face. In his sleep, he had managed to roll into his own mother while sprouting wood.The physical abuse was immediate, but the verbal abuse continued. Whenever he got aroused in his sleep, his mother would slap him awake, or call others in to make fun of him. Often, this led to a sudden change in address, as most normal people recognized her behavior as appalling. Her constant teasing in front of anyone who would listen had led him to a largely celibate lifestyle. The few women he had been with had been unsympathetic to his sexual panic attacks, or his mommy issues, as one had called them. Now, in an unfamiliar setting, he found those old emotions resurfacing, attempting to claw away at the protective shell he had put around himself.His imagination was his own worst enemy. Picturing her specter hiding in the shadows, waiting to pass judgment, had simply clenched the deal. Now, though, with all of the lights on, she couldn't afford to surface. His panic attack subsiding, he picked up his food and made his way to the kitchen.Mike consumed his meal while streaming a movie on his computer, leaving the last five slices for tomorrow. The fridge looked painfully bare, occupied by a sole pizza box and a soda bottle. Mike returned to the table, watching for another half an hour as the generic action star did something to confound the villain. His mind kept flipping back and forth to the feel of the pizza girl's breast and his mother's demonic memory.He pulled out his phone and flipped down to Dr. Gorman in his contacts. He hadn't sat with his therapist in over three years, but the urge to reach out had surfaced. Hands shaking, his thumb hovered over the call button.“Fuck it.” He closed his contact list. His mother was dead, the past was the past, and he needed to get over it. Years of being told that arousal was natural, that everybody did it, that it was okay to fantasize. He closed his eyes, recalling the cute appearance of Dana the pizza girl. He unleashed the memory of her scent, the firmness of her breast, the surprised expression she had made when he had tipped her eight bucks extra. It was probably the same face she made during her first orgasm, or perhaps when her lover's lips first touched the nipples of her firm breast…That did it. His body was back in full swing, he was back in control. Well, almost. The urge to watch porn to help get off was strong, but Dr. Gorman had reminded him that porn could be too much of an escapist fantasy. It was better for him to visualize on his own; he was less likely to panic in bed with a real woman. However, porn wasn't so much the issue, but rather location.He was in a stranger's house with a major hard on. Technically, he could jerk off in the hallway for all anybody cared, but just because the house was now his didn't mean it was home. It definitely didn't feel safe.Mike closed his computer and proceeded up to the bedroom. He could take care of his own needs in there. That wasn't much different than a hotel room, or new apartment, really. The more he told himself these things, the more he was ready to get off. Stepping into the room, he took one look at the bed and shuddered. Beds were sometimes just as bad, and today was no different.“Why am I so fucking damaged?” He shouted to the walls. They had no answer for him. Instead, he stormed into the bathroom and turned on the sink, splashing cool water on his face. Staring in the mirror, he watched the cool drops fall down his cheeks, his eyes suddenly on the giant bathtub.The bathroom's contoured walls prevented anyone in the tub from seeing anything but the bathroom. Remembering how well he fit in it earlier, and seeing how isolated it was, he knew it would work.Turning on the water, he watched as the basin filled quite quickly. Obviously, his great aunt had found a way to trick out the water pressure. Beth had told him that they paid a cleaning service to turn everything over, which meant that clean towels were already hanging near the tub. He stripped down in the bedroom, throwing his clothes on the nearby dresser.Walking into the bathroom, he caught sight of his own naked figure in the mirror. His body was lean (he really didn't eat too much), and marred with massive scars on the right. They went all the way from his thigh to under his armpit, crossing chaotically. They were a reminder of the fatal accident that had taken his mother, one final mark for her to leave behind. One girlfriend had told him they made him look like a badass, but he couldn't be certain she wasn't just saying that to make him feel better.Mike thumbed through the playlist on his phone and found one he liked. The water was just right, and he carefully slid into the tub. The whole inner surface had a texture that helped prevent him from slipping. A nearby washrag was soaked in hot water and he placed it across his eyes and forehead. Drowning out the world with water and music, he let his hands explore.One hand slid across the head of his penis while the other one tugged gently at the skin beneath the head. He let both hands slide down the shaft with plenty of room to spare between them. A former girlfriend had once told him (upon breaking up) that a dick like his was a waste, because no girl ever got to use it.“Fuck,” Mike muttered to himself. He only found the courage to do this once every few weeks, which meant that he was always extra sensitive. He ran his thumb gently over the head, flinching at the sudden intrusion of pleasure. He pictured the delivery girl in his mind, running his fingers down and across her slender hips, hearing her moan as he leaned in to suck on her neck. In his mind, he slid his hands underneath her shirt to play with her nipples, watching as she slid down the length of his body to take him in her mouth.The mind was a tricky thing. Mike let his brain rewind. This time, she was in a hurry, but she desperately needed to get fucked. Sliding her pants down, he took her roughly from behind, her soaking pussy squeezing hard on his dick. His mind tossed and turned over both possibilities, allowing him the luxury of both fantasies.Grabbing the root of his cock, he squeezed hard. He felt the pressure slowly build inside, and his fantasies took hold as he felt a warm mouth engulf his cock, sucking it in hard.Surprised, Mike opened his eyes to see a woman beneath the water's surface, her hands pinned to his hips as her head bobbed up and down slowly on his dick. Her hair was light blue, the color of sapphires, and she appeared as if a ghost, the light of the room passing through her body. Confused, he withdrew a hand from the water and pinched his own cheek.“Uh!” That had hurt! He grabbed the side of the tub with one hand and fought to pull free. The woman beneath the water bobbed her head frantically, her tongue swirling around the head of his cock as she pulled him farther into the back of her throat. Gasping for air, Mike tried to slide away from her, this strange specter, but she clamped her hands against his ass and pulled his cock in as deep as it would go.He had been too close to the edge already. Moaning, his cock spurted out rope after rope of cum, filling her throat and traveling down to her stomach. He gave up the struggle, the fight leaving him as her body became more solid. She continued to suck, and he grew light headed as he went limp, her tongue rolling hungrily across the head of his dick.“What…the fuck?” The woman beneath the water was busy stroking his balls. He grabbed her by the hair, pulling her free of the water. She broke the water's surface, her mouth wide, water and semen dripping down her chin. She had thin slits along the side of her neck, slits that closed and vanished in the air.“More,” she rasped, her green eyes unfocused. “I need more.” Already she was beginning to fade, the faucet behind her becoming visible through her body. “Please.”He stared, uncertain what special kind of stroke he was suffering from. He could see the white line of semen just inside her throat, trickling downward toward her stomach with every swallow.Her eyes finally focused on his, her body snapping back into reality. She teased his limp cock with her fingers.“Please,” she begged, her face approaching the water. “I need it.”“I don't understand. Who are you?” He asked, touching her cool skin. “What are you?”“Later,” she whispered, her fingers touching the water. The liquid came alive, squeezing his body rhythmically up and down his legs. It swirled around his cock, tugging it like a thousand tiny hands, massaging blood back into it. Her eyes on his, he felt one of her fingers slide effortlessly up his ass.He was immediately rock hard.“Take me,” she gasped, pulling him deeper into the tub and wrapping long legs around his waist. “Finish the spell.”“What spell?” He gasped, her lips finding his. Her tongue split his lips, and his dick slid into her, her body pulsing in time with his own heart.“Fuck!” He moaned, pulling his mouth away from hers. She rode him frantically, her whole body blinking in and out of existence as she forced her hips against his. Water splashed over the edge of the tub, soaking the cool marble as she let out a scream, her face and breasts flushed as she continued to grind her pussy against him.“I-I-I…” he stuttered, his balls contracting. She ground her pussy against him, hard, as he blew his load again. The water in the tub exploded upward, the lights above flickering as the electricity in the house surged.The room descended into darkness, and he felt consciousness slip away.-Mike opened his eyes. He was still in the tub, the rag over his face. Pulling it off, he sat up, splashing water over the side.“What the fuck?” Looking around the room, he saw no sign of the mysterious woman. The bath water was still warm. Had he fallen asleep?He lifted himself free of the water, staring down into the tub with a mixture of relief and regret. It had to have been a dream, he thought, staring at his reflection in the mirror. A hot fucking dream.Sighing, he stepped out of the bath onto the plush bathmat. A mystery woman who had ridden him senseless. He let out a laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. He never had sex dreams, and couldn't remember the last wet dream he had had. Looking back in the bath, he expected to see a giant glob of semen floating somewhere in the water.That was strange. He swirled the water with his hands. He could have sworn he had come. A dream couldn't fake that sensation… could it? He gave his dick a light stroke, and sure enough, it rose to the occasion.“Just a dream,” he muttered, crawling back into the bath. It was still plenty warm, and there was no way he could get so hard again after coming twice. May as well take advantage, he figured, laying down in the tub. He gave himself a few light strokes, pulling on the base of his balls, picturing the girl from his dreams.The water rippled with his movements, and suddenly she was there, as if stepping through a mirror. Mouth agape, he stared as she stood up before him, the water dripping down from her C-cup breasts. Her hair was a deep blue, far richer than the color it had been before. Thin horizontal lines that looked like tattoos were etched down her ribs, and the lips of her vagina were thick and long, dribbling a fluid of their own.“Again?” She asked, kneeling down in the water. “Let me help you.” She licked her lips, taking hold of his dick at the base.“Who the fuck are you?!?” Mike cried, pulling away. She stared at him patiently as he tried to climb out of the bath. Tendrils of water circled his legs, pulling him back in so that the two of them were face to face.“My name is Naia,” she cooed, touching his lips with her finger. “And you just saved my life.”“Whoa!” Mike splashed water everywhere in his haste to get out of the tub. This time, Naia didn't fight him as he scrambled out into the bathroom, covering up with a towel. She pouted as he slid across the floor, looking for his pants. Seeing that she hadn't moved from her spot in the tub, Mike felt his heart rate level out, the burst of adrenaline gone.“Who…what are you?” He asked, trying to keep his eyes off of her breasts. Other than the strange markings on her ribs, her skin was flawless.“I am Naia.” She smirked. “Though I suspect we are past names at this point, Mike. I am full of your cum, after all.”“So it wasn't a dream.” Mike slid his pants on, the fabric catching on his wet skin. “That still doesn't tell me anything else. For instance, how you got here.” He had been alone in the tub, and she had appeared from beneath the water.“I've been here for quite some time.” She swished the water with her hand. “If you don't mind-” she waved her hand and the spigot came on, warm water filling the tub. It filled even faster this time, until another wave of her hand turned it off. “It's been a long time since I've had a hot soak.”“What do you mean, quite some time?” Mike crossed his arms. “You're lucky I don't just call the cops.”“You won't do that.” She pulled a handful of water over her breasts, letting it run free across them. “You and I are linked now. You are struggling with what you saw, but accept that it happened and want to know more. You are also afraid that you are suffering a psychotic break which will only be confirmed when the cops arrive and find nothing but a tub full of water.”Mike stared at her, mouth open. “You can read my mind?”Naia laughed, a beautiful sound that echoed off the tiles. “Not quite. Just general stuff. I would far rather have this conversation here in the water, by the way.”“You practically raped me,” Mike told her. “If I get back in there, I assume you are going to try again.”“I hardly raped you.” Naia looked angry. “You were the one jacking off in my tub. I did what I did out of self-preservation, by the way, and I happen to know that you enjoyed it.”Mike sighed. Being angry was getting him nowhere. “Okay, give me a second to calm down. If you can read my mind, you should be feeling that this is a little much for me right now.” He walked toward the tub, staring warily at its edge. “If I sit, do you promise not to pull me in or anything?”“Yes.” She moved away from the edge, allowing him a better look at her body through the water. God, she was gorgeous.“Let's back things up a bit. Fill in the gaps for me. Let's start with who and what you are.”“I'm Naia.” She ran her hands across her body. “This is what I am. I am a nymph.”“A nymph?” The gears in his brain spun. He had only heard the word used in nymphomaniac. “Can you elaborate?”“I am a water spirit.” She stirred the water with one finger, summoning a floating sphere. “My spring was dammed up over a century ago. Luckily, the water was diverted through the fountain in the yard, and eventually pipes were installed to allow spring water to come up through the pipes to this tub so that I could come inside.”“For what purpose?”“I think you know.” Naia winked at him. “Nymphs are sexual by nature. The person who built this house did it to protect me, and he and I had quite the life here together. It was too cold in the winter to fuck outside, so this was a pretty good compromise.”“What do you need protecting from?”“My spring was going to be destroyed. If it ever stops flowing, either it forms somewhere else or I die. Which I was quite close to doing, I might add.”“Really?”Naia nodded. “When Emily died, the house went unused for a really long time. The fountain became clogged, and the fixtures in the house never flowed. There's a slight trickle in the fountain, but minerals are backing it up. When you turned on the bath, it gave me just enough energy to manifest.”“Wow.” Mike was watching the tiny sphere of water float above the tub. It occasionally touched down on the water's surface, bouncing once more into the air.“Yes. But I needed more. Nymphs can channel sexual energy into magic, but we try not to because it causes links between us. That's why some of us drown our sexual partners.”“There are more of you?”Naia nodded. “There used to be. Modern civilization has not been very kind to my race.”“Tell me more about our link.”Naia blushed. “The first spell was to help unclog the fountain. It was minor, but if you were to die, I could make it through another winter.”“If I were to die?”“While I was taking in your essence, I looked into your soul. If I hadn't liked what I saw, I would have drowned you. Don't take it personally.”Holy shit. “If you got what you wanted, then why the second spell?”“When I looked inside of you, I found a man who grew up without a home, one who needed a family who could love him for who he is. The second spell was selfish on my part, but we will both see benefit.”“What does it do?” He asked.“I swapped a small part of your soul with mine,” she admitted, biting at her lower lip. “That way, you and I would be forever linked, and you would be more likely to stay here.”“Part of my what?” Mike stood, balling his fists. “You took part of my soul?!?”“Swapped. No taking, an even exchange.” She stood up, water trailing from her body. “It's like a gift, but magic always needs an equivalent exchange. By taking part of your soul, you and I are forever connected. By taking part of my soul, you have been given certain gifts.”“You can't just take-” the watery orb now had a twin, and tiny lights sparkled within, relaxing him. “So, what, I go to Hell now or something?”“Silly man.” Naia splashed the water at him playfully. “This isn't some demonic pact or anything. When you die, your soul goes with you and the piece I gave you comes back to me. So relax. As long as I don't terminate the spell early, our continued existence benefits each other.”Mike sighed, rubbing his head. This was too much. “Okay, so tell me about these benefits.”“Traditionally, precognition, mind reading, things like that. However, those have fallen out of vogue, as the last thing we want is for you to call attention to yourself, or this house. Instead, you will find yourself far more charming than usual, a natural beauty of sorts. Heightened sensitivity of your senses and just enough of those earlier abilities to keep you out of danger. Oh, and a gift more for me.” She leaned forward, pressing her breasts together. Mike's crotch twitched in his pants. “You no longer have much of a refractory period. I figured that's a fair trade for not being able to win the lottery.”“So a magic boner and a spidey-sense. Fucking fantastic,” Mike muttered to himself.“Well, and a permanent psychic link to me.” Naia pouted. “You're being rude.”“I'm sorry Naia, this is just a lot to take in.” He was staring at her breasts, the way they pushed together, her tiny nipples rigid just above the water's surface.To be continued.By writerannabelle for Literotica

Bankrupt_Hippo
Vengeance (And Why You'll Be Pleasantly Surprised) | Review

Bankrupt_Hippo

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 30, 2022 5:19


Vengeance is one of the pleasant surprises of the year. B.J. Novak has a solid movie on his hands, even if it doesn't always land. Here is my review. Vengeance Movie Reaction: https://youtube.com/shorts/Zm_9UPM1cFk?feature=share --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Other Great Videos! Nope Movie Review: https://youtu.be/sOLsWvlxgpk Thor Love And Thunder Review https://youtu.be/e0RAZtgwb-s Jojo Rabbit Review: https://youtu.be/Fej3t6ysrFk Baby Driver Movie Review: https://youtu.be/ntdWeux5ifA Minions: The Rise Of Gru Review: https://youtu.be/zzwjm8CtsBk PG-13 Ratings (The Movies That Started It All) https://youtu.be/bSpY9-yOlnY ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fun Movie Rankings! The Top 10 Athlete Cameos Of All Time https://youtu.be/wJNpSzwAEPk Ranking The Jurassic World Sequel Trilogy https://youtu.be/lVc3Lj7c5m4 Ranking The ICONIC Daniel Craig Bond Films https://youtu.be/0aHo4clZt3E ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Visit Me On Tik Tok And Instagram! https://linktr.ee/bankrupt_hippo ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Timestamps 0:00 Intro 0:11 See It Or Skip It? 0:29 Synopsis 1:20 Pros 3:45 Cons 4:33 Score 5:01 Other Great Videos!

The Patrick Madrid Show
The Patrick Madrid Show: July 29, 2022 - Hour 3

The Patrick Madrid Show

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2022 51:05


Patrick answers questions about the Holy Spirit, gossiping, and how to tell the difference between true teachers and false teachers Noah - Why do some people prepare for the fruits of the Holy Spirit before baptism if that very baptism is what gives them the Holy Spirit? Patrick recommends “Surprised by Truth” Joe - I am debating someone on YouTube about the early Church. It doesn't seem like it is going anywhere. What should I do? Carolyn - There was an openly gay movie that was previewed in the theaters the other day. This was when I was taking my granddaughters to a movie that was rated PG-13. You can't even go to a movie without this being pushed on you. Retailers may let you keep a returned item -- along with the refund Bonnie - I read that you wrote 26 books. Which would you recommend me to read to start off of yours? Patrick recommends “Why Be Catholic” and “Life Lessons: 50 Things I Learned in My First 50 Years” Does Patrick believe in ghosts? Patrick responds to an email related to the gossip topic from earlier in the show Kevin – I'm not offended by Patrick using the words “insane” or “crazy”, but why not just change the word you use? Norman - How can you tell the difference between the false teachers and the true teachers? I used to be Catholic and I see false teachers in both Protestant Churches and Catholic Churches. Why don't priests in today's world have the power to heal? Kimberly - What is your opinion on the new earth theory?

Three Dogs North
S11 Episode 45 – Hold me

Three Dogs North

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2022 43:25


In this episode, the dogs lament the upcoming recording hiatus (0:25). Rob brings up Forest Gump, the best movie of all time, as an example of childhood innocence (2:24) and they all discuss a child's unique ability to respond to reality (5:24). Mike gives a throwback to his time with braces (14:50), they all agree that the pod is a sign-post to Heaven (quite possibly the only one that exists on the internet) (27:20), and Connor closes out with a story about being held (37:45). https://youtu.be/ZyMOQTo6_cE Quotes: “Hot yoga is very difficult and I am becoming extremely limber.” (Mike, 1:42) “Forest Gump is absolutely lovable and very attractive because he is both unveiled and good.” (Mike, 18:39) “I think that's part of why it's so hard to be unveiled, because if I unveil myself then I actually have to confront what's going on in my heart and if that's not healed and made whole then there is a lot of stuff that will come out.” (Mike, 19:50) “There is something about the simplicity of a child that makes them also very vulnerable.” (Connor, 22:19) “Joy is a by-product of being in communion with God.” (Connor summarizing Lewis, 26:40) "We point to the eschaton." (Mike, 27:37) “You can't avoid the tragedy of life.” (Mike, 35:00) "HOLD ME!" (Mary Anne, 39:18) “You can't go out and fight dragons unless you have a mom and a dad who love you.” (Connor, 40:15) “Come to me, I can handle it.” (Connor, 41:01) Media Mentions: Forrest Gump (1994)Evangelization & CultureFrances Hodgson Burnett's The Secret GardenCoventry Patmore's The ToysThree Dogs North's S11 E22- Window into Heaven (spoileralertshedies)David After DentistFyodor Dostoevsky's The IdiotMother Mary Francis' Blessed Are YouMatthew 11C.S. Lewis' Surprised by JoyPowder (1995)The Apostle (1997) References: U.S. ArmyIdahoNetflixWord on FireEnglandYouTubeNew YorkBostonMaryWichita, KSAttachment TheoryTennesseeRobert Duvall Shout- Outs: Fr. Scott HarterConnor's nephewMallory KlaasFr. Isaac CoulterConnor's friend P.J. and family (Mary Anne, Margie)Daniel Sahyouni Follow us on instagram @threedogsnorth Contact us at threedogsnorth@gmail.com

The John Phillips Show
Were you surprised by The Fake Doctors "pause" on the mask mandate?

The John Phillips Show

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2022 33:13


See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dingers - The only fantasy baseball podcast for smart people
Dingers 0210 - Not All-Stars are Stars

Dingers - The only fantasy baseball podcast for smart people

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 27, 2022 112:23


Surprised by the first half? You shouldn't be. We told the Jays stars would break out, Clay Holmes was a monster, McClanahan was the real deal, and CJ Cron was set for a big year. If you don't have all-stars on your team then you weren't listening. Find out what to expect down the stretch and who made our fantasy not-all-starts list. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/dingers/message

Speak Up For The Ocean Blue
Discovery puts man in a clear plastic tub in the ocean; attracts big white shark; and, is surprised when the shark bites the clear tub to grab the human

Speak Up For The Ocean Blue

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 27, 2022 19:27


Every year I go into Shark Week with a positive mindset in hope that it will provide some great programs and some great cinematography and I would like to hope that it won't play into the fear-mongering, but that was not the case for the first news piece that I saw from CNN (who owns Discovery). A clear promotional video starts off with fear of shark sightings and bites then into one of the dumbest things a person can do when being around a white shark. I will tell you why it was so dumb in this upcoming rant.   Link to video: https://youtu.be/j0chL87gPag   Sign up to find out about the audio Ocean Conservation Careers members group: https://bit.ly/38ak7Z8   Facebook Group: https://bit.ly/3NmYvsI Connect with Speak Up For Blue: Website: https://bit.ly/3fOF3Wf Instagram: https://bit.ly/3rIaJSG Twitter: https://bit.ly/3rHZxpc 

The Black Guy Who Tips Podcast
2570: Surprised The Racism Came Out

The Black Guy Who Tips Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 27, 2022 87:20


Rod and Karen discuss some Random Thoughts, LGBTQ News, Brooklyn Bishop gets mad on IG live, snake head found in airline meal, body cam shows comp using racial slur, racial slur in weather forecast, man claims running like a dog got him in shape, credit schemer caught, man accused of killing wife votes for Trump with his wife's identity and sword ratchetness. Twitter: @rodimusprime @SayDatAgain @TBGWT Instagram: @TheBlackGuyWhoTips Email: theblackguywhotips@gmail.com Blog: www.theblackguywhotips.com Teepublic Store Amazon Wishlist Crowdcast Voice Mail: 704-557-0186

LEVELS – A Whole New Level
#153 - Using a CGM surprised the Director of Sports Nutrition for the Miami Dolphins | John Parenti & Ben Grynol

LEVELS – A Whole New Level

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 27, 2022 58:02


This director of sports nutrition used a CGM and was shocked to see how his body responded to oatmeal. In sharing his CGM experience with his athletes, he emphasizes that everyone's body responds to food differently, and urges them to get their lifestyle habits and routines in place before trying to change nutrition. Look for multiple new shows per week on A Whole New Level, where we have in-depth conversations about metabolic health and how the Levels startup team builds a wellness movement from the ground up in the health and wellness tech industry.

The Best of the Sports Shop
The Sports Shop talks about some of the changes with college football, now that NIL is a thing, and K-Mac is surprised at the turnout of our poll question.

The Best of the Sports Shop

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 27, 2022 25:14


The Sports Shop talks about some of the changes with college football, now that NIL is a thing, and K-Mac is surprised at the turnout of our poll question. He's wondering if he's missed something, because he doesn't see the issue. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

ACEP Frontline - Emergency Medicine
Don't Be Surprised by the No Surprises Act

ACEP Frontline - Emergency Medicine

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 25, 2022 24:09


Join us for another session from ECC22 in Destin, Florida as we discuss insurance, surprise billing, and the No Surprises Act. Dr. Tony Cirillo shares his wealth of knowledge and expertise on the subject while examining the evolution and status of this very important act.

Granger Community Church Podcast
Surprised by Worship

Granger Community Church Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 24, 2022 42:32


Series: It Might Get Loud Speaker: Ted and Ang Bryant This weekend we looked what at looks like to worship in our everyday, normal rhythms.

Sermons - Grace Chapel
You Can Sometimes Get What You Want, But Don't Be Surprised, Because You Just Might Find, It's Not What You Need

Sermons - Grace Chapel

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 24, 2022


Title: You Can Sometimes Get What You Want, But Don't Be Surprised, Because You Just Might Find, It's Not What You NeedText: 1 Samuel 8Pastor: Ben Loos

HerbRally | Herbalism | Plant Medicine | Botany | Wildcrafting

Watch the full Ask an Herbalist video on YouTube.  Herbalist Shana Lipner Grover answered five questions for us, and we decided to split them up so you can pick and choose which answers you'd like to hear. She shares a ton of wisdom, some good stories and lessons learned.  A huge thanks to Shana and Brandon for recording this and sharing with us all!  Learn more about Shana and Brandon at SageCountryHerbs.com Follow Sage Country Herbs on Instagram Sign up for the HerbRally newsletter and receive these SEVEN herbal freebies!  86 page ebook by Plant Healer 5 Herbal Events Around the World | Video with Bevin Clare 36 Page Book Excerpt from "Nourishing Foods" by Plant Healer Calendula ebook by Rosalee de la Forêt Hour long adaptogens class with Heather Irvine Exclusive 15% off discount for Mountain Rose Herbs CLAIM YOUR FREEBIES HERE

Wade Center
Surprised by George: The Father of Fantasy (Re-Release)

Wade Center

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 22, 2022 49:09 Very Popular


To tide you over until we return from vacation, enjoy this re-released episode on George MacDonald from the Wade Center archives. Most Inklings fans see George MacDonald through the lens of C.S. Lewis. Others enter MacDonald's novels through diverse doorways. In this week's episode Drs. Crystal and David C. Downing sit down with Producer Aaron Hill to discuss this 19th century Scots author. Why was George MacDonald so important to Lewis? Why is he considered controversial? Are his writings still relevant today?

FreightCasts
We aren't surprised EP112 Freightonomics

FreightCasts

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 21, 2022 26:09


Zach and Anthony discuss why carriers are surprising Wall Street with their Q2 earning reports.With fully furnished state-of-the-art repair trucks and a full array of roadside tools, you  can expect the safest, fastest, and most painless response for your fleet from Love's Truck Care & Speedco. To learn more about our roadside assistance, please visit www.loves.comFollow Freightonomics on Apple PodcastsFollow Freightonomics on SpotifyMore FreightWaves Podcasts

Pints with Jack
S5E57 – “Surprised By Myth”, After Hours with Justin Wiggins

Pints with Jack

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 21, 2022


Former guest of the show, Justin Wiggins, returns to talk about his latest book, "Surprised By Myth".

Freightonomics
We aren't surprised

Freightonomics

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 21, 2022 25:54


Zach and Anthony discuss why carriers are surprising Wall Street with their Q2 earning reports.Follow Freightonomics on Apple PodcastsFollow Freightonomics on SpotifyMore FreightWaves Podcasts

Sports Open Line
"Not surprised" at limited Cardinal playing time in All Star Game ft. Derrick Goold

Sports Open Line

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 21, 2022 9:09


This is a clip from the first hour of Wednesday night's Sports Open Line with Matt Pauley. Derrick Goold, lead Cardinals beat writer for the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, explains why he was not shocked at the fact that Paul Goldschmidt and Albert Pujols each only had one at bat in the 2022 MLB All Star Game. Hear the full first hour hear: https://omny.fm/shows/sports-open-line/mlb-all-star-game-recap

Real Coffee with Scott Adams
Episode 1808 Scott Adams: Apparently, Government Officials Lied To Us About Everything. Surprised?

Real Coffee with Scott Adams

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 18, 2022 73:00 Very Popular


My new book LOSERTHINK, available now on Amazon https://tinyurl.com/rqmjc2a Find my "extra" content on Locals: https://ScottAdams.Locals.com Content: Dr. Birx admits in her book that she lied CNN slanders Ted Cruz today Why we need permanent wars CNN J6 propaganda Synchron's brain neuralink for ALS patients Trans rights, the final fight for equality? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If you would like to enjoy this same content plus bonus content from Scott Adams, including micro-lessons on lots of useful topics to build your talent stack, please see scottadams.locals.com for full access to that secret treasure. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/scott-adams00/support