Podcasts about now linda

In this episode, Gary and Naren discuss the question most existing patients ask when you go out of network, and how you and your team should handle those patients and how to answer those questions.  Are you and your team prepared on what to say? Highlights: Introduction to today’s topic > 01:00 About Gary’s Practice management support system > 02:20 How to communicate with patient > 04:28 How to make quality dentistry affordable > 05:32 Begin with the end in mind > 07:52 What your team members should say > 11:18 How to shift the way you think > 18:15 Resources: REGISTER NOW REGISTER NOW SUBSCRIBE SCHEDULE A FREE MEETING DOWNLOAD Podcast Transcript Naren: Hello everyone! Welcome to another amazing episode of the less insurance dependence podcast show. This is Naren, your co-host. We have now been doing this for a long time and we have quite a lot of episodes for those of you who haven't listened to the past episodes jump in and binge-listen. Today's topic is going to be an awesome topic. It's a topic that will make everyone in your practice stronger. One of the questions people ask you if you start resigning from the insurance plan is, Why are you not taking my insurance anymore? And you as a person, as a doctor, as a team has to be able to answer this effectively. So, this is an episode that you may want to listen not just once, but multiple times with your team. This is something you need to bookmark and use it as a tool. We'll also give you some scripts like a pdf so definitely take advantage of that and keep it, but before I jump in I want to share some feedback I’ve been getting from some clients of Gary’s who have signed up for the virtual practice management support system, sorry virtual coaching and practice management support system. The thing I hear a lot Gary from these clients is, I always wished I had someone like Gary in my practice just like Paul and Tim have Gary for the business side of LifeSmiles and that's why they are in the top one-fourth of one percent I could do the same if I had someone like Gary and I think this practice management support system you created and you continue to tweak and improve Gary is really, really, the answer for that. So, this way the dentists can do dentistry which is what they love while your team and the practice management support system make sure all this all the systems are working and all the elements are working and they get better and better at it. So I just wanted to say that Gary and any comments on that what is your experience with that Gary? Gary: Naren, I’m so excited about what we're doing because so often I’ve heard from dentists that say  I wish I could just put my head down and just focus on nothing but the dentistry and man I get that, I  get that. That's your superpower, right? That's what you love but the truth is there's an outlier dentist that enjoys the business side, there's an outlier. Often times they have an MBA. They're a DDS or DMD, MBA and the outlier dentist kind of enjoys it but I would say 95 percent of the dentists in the world, the business stuff is just a necessary, it's a necessary thing they have to do. They don't really love it and as a result they kind of stumble with it because it's not their thing. Conversely, I love it and by the way, our team loves everything about the business side of dentistry. So we put together a really cool system to provide the support, the ongoing support, so that the dentist can pay attention to what they love which is the clinical side of their practice and then they can know if they can rest easy and know full well that everything's being taken care of on the business side in a way that's consistent with their value system that's consistent with the way they would like to do it and it can be done with without a lot of time and effort on the doctor's part and so I’m super excited, it's really that practice management support system that I want to put an exclamation point on it. I have to say I have heard from many dentists over the years and it’s kind of embarrasses me but they say Gary I wish I had someone like you in my practice and I appreciate that I know it's meant as a compliment. I appreciate the kind words and I think we've put together something that allows that to happen and I’m excited about it and super excited about the results we're seeing with clients and we're on a mission to preserve private practice dentistry, Naren, it's nothing it's a revolution, nothing short of a revolution. If there's a little rebel side of you that listens to this and you want to join our revolution come join us, join us on the coaching side and you'll get the benefits of it and maybe feel like, hey we're preserving private practice dentistry for the future too. Naren: And I know you're very humble. You will never say this, but for this level of support other consultants charge 80 000 a year, 90 000 a year I mean they charge five times what you charge. So, I know one of your goals is to help as many dentists as possible. Gary: yeah and that's consistent with our practice. At LifeSmiles I don't often talk about it but one of the things I will talk about here. One of our goals Paul, Tim and I is to make quality dentistry affordable and I grew up in a blue-collar working-class family. My dad was a lunch pail caring guy. I was the first to go to college on either side of the family and I treasure my blue-collar upbringing. I’m very grateful and I want to make what our avatar when a think about an avatar, a fictitious patient. I want to make quality dentistry affordable y to a single parent school teacher. Naren: Yeah Gary: I have a soft spot in my heart for teachers. My wife taught kindergarten for many years and one of our daughters is the fifth-grade teacher and I think teachers are underappreciated heroes in our profession and if hopefully if she happens to be a single-parent school teacher, I want to make it affordable for quality care affordable for him or her. So that we’ve extended that to our coaching, we want to make it affordable and I think we've done that and if you're interested come join us. It's thrivingdentist.com forward slash coaching, come join us. Naren: Thank you, Gary! Let's jump into today's topic. So, someone has listened to your podcast. You have 80 plus episodes. I think close to 90 now and they have gotten ready. They have done all the prep. They are ready to drop insurance. They drop the first insurance. Does a patient say why are you not accepting my insurance anymore? Gary: and I want to emphasize that this is the existing patients. Naren: Right! Gary: It's an existing patient and in a past episode we've talked how do you handle the caller, do you take my insurance? Similar but different, similar but different, and by the way if you haven't listened to that one that is our most downloaded episode on the less insurance dependence podcast. How do you handle the call, do you take my insurance? Just scroll and you can find that. Let's put a link in the show notes for that one. Naren: Yes Gary: Okay so this is for your existing patients and let me back up and state a goal. Begin with the end in mind. Who's one of my favorite authors Naren? Naren: Stephen covey, “Seven habits of highly effective people”. Gary: And what is habit number two? Naren: Begin with the end in mind. Gary: By the way, we did an episode on the leadership lessons from seven habits of highly effective people. Let's put that in the notes as well. Naren: Absolutely Gary: number two is beginning with the end in mind. So, let's begin with the end in mind. Now, this might shock you in a pleasant way. Here's what the goal is. Remember when we went out of network in my practice, we kept 84 percent of our patients that were in-network when we went out of network. We kept 84 of them. Our goal with all of our clients is to do better than we did in 07 and 08 because frankly, we didn't know what we were doing. I mean we had, we knew intellectually what we were doing, but we didn't have the practical experience. That's why I wanted to own a practice to have the experience. So, my goal always with this is to have you retain more than we did because we know more now and let me define it for you very specifically. I want you to retain between 85 and 90 plus of your existing patients when you go out of network. Now, you might be thinking oh no Gary that I think we're going to lose like almost all of them. I mean that's what that's a fear, right? Naren, can you imagine that. If you had a practice that had 90 percent insurance you might think well, Gary that's just a pipe dream. We're not going to lose way more than that, right? Not if you are we have the track record now with clients all over the country, not if you do it right, and so the goal is to retain 85 to 90 and we have the track record to prove that and one of the things that's in the readiness checklist is that every one of your team members needs to be able to answer the question at a surface level, why aren't you taking my insurance anymore? Now if a team member hasn't had training on that, it's who knows what they might say. Especially if it was a clinical team member where that isn't in their skill set. So just pre-empt that and provide the training for every one of your team members because it and what I don't want to have happened on the first question, the first time it comes out of a patient's mouth I don't want the team member to just fold and say I don't know, go talk to the office manager. How would that sound if you were the patient? Remember the filter I always like to use is, how would it feel if I was a patient. So how I mean just role play with me Naren, I don't know, I’m just an assistant, I have no idea Naren go talk to the office manager. How's that going to, what does that say to you, what message am I communicating to, not intentionally but what am I communicating to Naren: Yeah I mean relationships are built on confidence, right? So that my like I mean already I’m kind of not happy about this because I don't know what's going on Gary:  and what else, what else don't you know Naren: yeah exactly and now exactly and now instead of growing my confidence and reassuring me you are like, it's like there's a tiny wound you make it bigger. It's just Gary: Or it can't even be worse and again  I’m always saying this because I’ve heard it. I’ve actually heard this with my own two ears. I heard a team member say I don't know the doctor got some crazy idea and now we're not on insurance. Naren: wow Gary: I mean so let's solve it. Here's the type of and we'll provide a script for this. Here's the type of communication I’d like to have come from your team members and let's say the patient asking the question is Linda. Linda, I’m so glad that you asked. Every one of our patients is important to us. You are important to us and Linda we've discovered if we were to continue to stay in-network with your plan we simply couldn't deliver the quality of dentistry that we insist on and the doctor will never compromise the quality of dentistry and that's why I work here by the way because I totally believe in everything our doctor does and our doctor would never compromise the care in any way. So we've made the difficult decision to no longer be contracted with your delta dental insurance. Now Linda here's the good news. The good news is you can still use our benefits in your practice. We will still file claims for you like we always have and Meg our insurance coordinator. She will still be here being your advocate to help you get every nickel of benefit you have from that dental insurance. We think it's great that you have it and we're going to help you get every nickel of benefit and Linda we hope that you appreciate the quality of care we provide that you appreciate our attention to details as the doctor is a detail-oriented doc, that you appreciate the way we invest in technology for your benefit and you appreciate the individual time and attention we provide to you as a patient. It's our fondest hope that you continue to come here for your dental care because we appreciate you. Now Naren, I didn't ask you to listen as if you were the patient but how do you think that sounds to you if you're a patient. What do you think most people say when they hear that? It's like oh okay I’m in. Naren: Yeah exactly! I think if that is no communication, I can make up any story I want. This kind of communication now I’m on your side I’m on your team like I want the best care I want to get every penny of my dental insurance because I know dental insurance doesn't want to pay me anything. I mean everyone knows that insurance companies number one goal is to pay as little as possible, I mean like, I mean you talked about your experience with your Gary: Everybody in the United States, yeah I mean I don't know that I can use absolutes but I want to say everybody yeah had a negative experience doing battle with an insurance company to get them to pay what they what you paid for and everyone knows this and when you start framing it that way people get it and what we found is  with that level of communication with the example that I just gave and again imagine that coming from a dental system coming from a hygienist coming from someone they just bump into in the hallway in your office I mean patients don't discriminate who they ask their questions to they'll ask whoever's next to them. When they get that level of support most patients like oh okay, I mean I get it now yeah, I mean I get it. Now if they get into really detailed questions there's nothing wrong with saying Linda you're that's a really good detailed question and I’m going to go get Laura our office manager she's our expert in that let me grab her there's nothing wrong but I don't want you to start there, because I want everyone to communicate confidence Naren: I think Gary: this will do it you're just having that script and generally I’m not a fan of scripting Naren: yeah Gary: but if the scripting helps if it helps you get your voice, if it helps you like if you feel like well that just isn't my thing just tell me what to say, well now you have the script and it works we have it it's proven it works and obviously you've got there's more than just the words there's facial expression there's a tone of voice there's what I said at the beginning that Doctor will never compromise your care. If that's true, by the way, that needs to be true right? Naren: Yeah Gary: Yeah and it's the patient of course and that's why I come here then everything else you say is going to be put in that context. So we got to back it up but I’m going to assume that you are backing it up in terms of the quality you care and so on but this works and this now this would be a really good episode to play in an office a team meeting, and I would encourage you to go around the room just repeating the script just go around because then you can practice on Naren: yeah Gary: facial expressions and tone of voice and the way you communicate passion in your voice and so on and then just get to the point where it’s like a habit and you just do it because you're going to get the question, how come you're not taking my insurance anymore? Right, and now you're ready for it and I’m telling you when you can answer that question, you're going to retain 85 to 90 percent of your patients. Let's bring it back to that, bring it back full circle. You're going to retain 85 to 90 of your patients. Now let me as we kind of come to the finish line here Naren: Gary, can I say something, if it's okay? I know you never talk about yourself but I feel like I have to say it like you're experimenting with thriving dentist verbal skills with a limited number of your private virtual coaching and practice management support system clients and a couple of the feedback I have gotten is this alone is what my entire year's fee just because I have not met a communicator in dentistry who is even one-fifth as you Gary, I mean I’m being Gary: I’m very blessed to have inherited that from my grandmother. My grandmother was an amazing influence in my life and she and I have the same DISC personality type we've talked about that we're both high eyes. Now she's been gone for 38 years but she was the entrepreneur in my family and she taught me how to communicate and I’m very blessed that if I was asked a question she would say Gary stand up and answer that question and then she would critique me in a loving way but I’m very blessed to have had a tremendous, I think the best communicator in the history of mankind was my grandmother and if I can measure up to even a fraction of what she was I will consider myself very, very, successful Naren: so, there are two things that I wanted to say. one is so you not only teach your clients and their teams on how to communicate but you also help shift the thinking because many practices when they start with you they come with the idea that oh this is what I know this is what works this is the way the world is going to be tomorrow. so, you shift that thinking, the dentist thinking the office manager is thinking about the team's thinking. so, then they all realize now that we can keep that 40 or 38 that insurance takes for ourselves, we can do so much with it for the patients for the team. So, I want to thank you for that Gary and I want to commend you for what you do for the industry what you do for the profession and I’m going to ask our listeners one thing if that's okay with them. if you like the lesson insurance dependence podcast show, binge it, if you have a weekend catch up on five episodes you will learn a ton and of course like this other dentist we met recently who shared her experience binging all of Gary’s knowledge on the I love dentistry community, do that and of course, if you are serious, I would say check out the thrivingdentist.com website. maybe sign up for an MBA it's pretty much, there are different formats, easy to do, easy to digest and of course, we love reviews so it's just like a review on google for your dental practice we love reviews on iTunes as well as google play. so please share your feedback. Thank you so much and I want to take a moment to thank you Gary for everything you do for the industry. Gary: Thanks for your kind words Naren and I want to bring it back for a closing comment. so if we're going to keep 85 to 90 percent of your existing patients, we can look at the reverse of that for a minute and say well we're going to lose some and boy I’d be thrilled if it's only 10 or 15 but maybe you're thinking that but you're going to want to replace those 10 or 15 percent that you're going to lose, you're going to want to replace them you're going to want to place them ahead of time just as we did. So that way you are doing this from a position of strength and the best way to do that and Naren I’ll turn it right back on you, the best way to do this is to become an EKWA client like we are EKWA your digital marketing company. We are LifeSmiles, is a paying client of EKWA and you are my support system to attract quality new patients and Naren I know you've been kind enough to offer a free marketing strategy meeting with Lila stone your director of marketing for any of our listeners here on the less insurance dependence podcast. if you haven't taken advantage of that take advantage. We'll put a link in the notes. Lila will spend time with you in a scheduled call to let you know exactly how you're doing with your digital marketing relative to google analytics. So she'll be able to tell you exactly how you look in the eyes of Google, and whether you choose to work with EWKA or not I think you'd be nuts not to, but whether you choose to work with them you will get information that you didn't know about marketing and about how your practice looks in the eyes of google. So, click that link. It's free normally you charge 900 for that marketing strategy meeting but you waived that for our less insurance dependence listeners. On that note let me simply say thank you for all of our listeners. Thank you for the privilege of your time and we can't wait to connect with you on the next less insurance dependence podcast.

Why Your Future Career May Depend on Knowing Your Personal BrandWhether you know it or not, you already have a personal brand. In this episode, Linda Evans shares how to identify, improve, and utilize your personal brand for good.About Linda EvansWhen Linda moved to Washington, DC to start working on a master’s degree at a prestigious university, she had no substantial job and no way to pay for enrollment. But a promise in her patriarchal blessing gave her the confidence to move forward. While looking for work, she discovered that the school provides “tuition remission” (meaning the cost of tuition is waved) for full-time university employees.In answer to her prayers and in fulfillment of that patriarchal promise, Linda got a job at the school that both covered her living expenses and kicked in tuition coverage just as the bill came due.Though she ended up leaving that program and trying another en route to finally finding a third master's program she loved, Linda faithfully made each move, trusting in the “God of the 11th hour.” Of this experience, she says, “I was able to graduate without debt while living in New York city. I still marvel at that a lot… I just felt like the Lord took care of me so well, allowed me to make my mistakes and still didn't let me crash.”Now Linda holds a Master of Arts in Psychological Counseling from Columbia University, has worked nine years in higher education as a career counselor and advisor, taught university-level classes "to help college students achieve their goals and reach their potential" (Career Exploration, Career Strategies, and Personal Branding), and she is a Gallup-Certified Strengths Coach.Linda is also the founder of Launched By Linda, a virtual career coaching service.What You'll Learn in this EpisodeAdvice for Gen Z youth who aren't sure what to study in collegeHow to identify and evolve your personal brandHow knowing your personal brand can help you develop confidenceWhy it's important to charge for the services you provideMost Importantly: How Linda has seen the Lord’s hand in her career.Mentioned in this EpisodeDisrupt Yourself - Whitney Johnson's interview with Mark W. Johnson.Lead from the Future: How to Turn Visionary Thinking Into Breakthrough Growth - ​by Mark W. JohnsonCliftonStrengths - How to find your talent DNA.

Listeners, this week we have a conversation with the one and only Linda Garcia, AKA Luz Warrior! Linda, a California native, born to immigrant parents, double majored in Marketing and International Business. During college she was on air talent for Telemundo and Univision and began to write, produce and direct local TV commercials. Fascinated with storytelling she pursued a career in film and formed part of the startup team that launched the first major Latino Hollywood movie studio, Lionsgate’s, Pantelion Films. In 2012, Linda accepted a position at Netflix in Content Operations where she managed one of the company’s largest accounts. She was the driving force behind Spanish subs and dubs for Netflix U.S. originals and the launch of telenovelas. She most recently launched AT&T’s, Fullscreen and Lionsgate’s, Pantaya streaming service. As of September she closed the door on Hollywood to focus on her podcast, Let There Be Luz, full time. Linda or Luz Warrior as most of her listeners call her, has been strongly embraced by her community developing her avid listener. Last year she began her journey as a motivational speaker, She held a Red Tent at We All Grow Latina, spoke at LA Times Women’s Empowerment, meditation and journey insights at The Nielsen Company and was chosen to be one of We All Grow’s 2019 Storytellers. Ah listeners, this conversation with Luz was so amazing. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Some notes about the episode: We cover a lot about Linda's life, from moving to a whole new state at the early age of 12, to her teen pregnancy, bleeding, and her life growing up . Trigger warning, Linda does mention her sexual assault during this episode, we don’t go into details. I do want to be conscious of anyone that might be sensitive about this topic. And Linda just returned from her amazing retreat: Mujer Llena. It was amazing, so opening and so healing for all the womxn that attended. Now Linda is focusing on an upcoming event on September 13, 2019 so stay tuned for more details. Follow Linda on all things social: Website Instagram Linda's Meditations Follow Cafe con Pam on all things social Instagram Facebook www.spreadideasmovepeople.com/podcast Join the Patreon community! https://www.patreon.com/cafeconpampodcast For the Small Biz Support Program head over to www.spreadideasmovepeople.com/sbsp To learn more about mushrooms and my favorite FourSigmatic products, head over to www.spreadideasmovepeople.com/mushrooms Share this episode with someone you love And don't forget to Stay Shining!

In today's episode, I chat with corporate powerhouse turned entrepreneur, Linda Taliaferro. Linda shares her experience transitioning into entrepreneurship and the unforeseen challenges of poorly written contracts for her top dollar services. Linda gives us "The TEE" on a client calling her out on her "flexible" contracts (that she initially thought was solid enough to protect her), the money she lost as a result, and how she's adjusted things in her business (hint: solid contracts!) to combat this issue moving forward.  More on Linda With over 30 years of experience in Fortune 500 companies, Linda earned her mechanical engineering degree from Carnegie Mellon University and an MBA from the University of Michigan Ross School of Business, Linda has had significant impact in shaping quality performance of automotive and commercial vehicle component manufacturing globally. She has facilitated flawless launches and drove multi-millions in new business revenue and developed critical relationships with high profile customers. Now Linda has a business of her own, The TEE - The Extra Effort, that helps people on the corporate ladder climb, raise their emotional intelligence and strengthen their executive presence to get a seat at the table.  Where to Find Linda Facebook - www.facebook.com/extraeffort LinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/lindataliaferro Instagram- @itsthetee  Best way for audience to contact you? Email at hello@theteellc.net or PM on Facebook.

Download this Episode! With over 30 years of experience in Fortune 500 companies, she earned her mechanical engineering degree from Carnegie Mellon University and an MBA from the University of Michigan Ross School of Business, Linda has had a significant impact in shaping the quality performance of automotive and commercial vehicle component manufacturing globally. She has facilitated flawless launches and drove multi-millions in new business revenue and developed critical relationships with high profile customers. Now Linda has a business that helps people on the corporate ladder climb raise their emotional intelligence and strengthen their executive presence to get a seat at the table. Linda is going to share with you how she has been able to implement the strategies she learned from my signature program, Services That Sell. Listen in to get a ton of value of creating a business with an impact! The foundation of executive presence is rooted in self-confidence. - Linda Taliaferro Key Highlights of this episode: Linda shared what is the one component that you need in order to have an executive presence What Linda’s driving force was to enter the world of coaching The biggest challenge Linda has to face when she got into the online entrepreneurial world How Linda was able to niche down in the span of eight months Linda’s journey on how she was able to help women of color to achieve their goals Resources: 10 TEE Commandments Services offered by Linda   Connect with Linda Website Instagram SPONSORED BY This episode was brought to you by my premium program Services that Sell. If you've been thinking about niching down and creating a four-figure service that you can sell consistently. And if you have been searching for a simple way to sell your services without a complicated funnel, I encourage you to sign up for my FREE master class at jereshiahawk.com/masterclass. I'll make sure you know everything you need to gain the clarity you crave to confidently sell your services online. Visit jereshiahawk.com/masterclass.

Katrina: Oh. Okay ... That's what I've gotta do ... Invite. Invite, invite, invite, invite ... Do that ... Okay. All right. How do I add you? I'm blind. I can't see anything. It says I can't bring you on the broadcast at this time ... Why? ... Invite friends ... Okay. That's odd. Do you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna restart this, because usually when I do this ... Oh no, hang on. Now it's letting me ... bring ... Katrina: Adding. Hello, everybody. Patrick: What's up? Katrina: What's up? Patrick: I don't know why I've got this thing hanging up here. A devil horn, demonic. What's up? I had to share in my group and on my wall so, rock and roll. Katrina: Okay. Let me turn this up. My sound is super quiet. Katrina: Welcome everybody. We have no idea what we're going to talk about but it's going to be amazing. Patrick: It is always gonna be amazing, always amazing stuff when me and you get on here. Always amazing stuff when you're here, I'm like, damn! Everything I watch I always send people to you and everybody I meet I'm like, "Dude you have not idea. Cat's shit ... it's changed my life more than just anything I've watched, anything I've listened to." Katrina: Thank you. Patrick: I believe in it. I believe in it though. Katrina: It goes both ways. I nearly tagged you in as my favourite live streamer apart from myself. I think you're the only person whose livestream I consistently watch, I'm very sorry to everybody else who's on here who livestream but I'm just going to admit that I'm not a huge content consumer, I have four or five people whose content I'll consistently consume but you're my favourite live streamer. Patrick: Wow, wow. Katrina: There you go. Patrick: Well I'm honoured to hear that and you know what? Are you still in Baldi? Katrina: No, it just looks like I'm in the jungle. Guess where I am? Patrick: Yeah. Katrina: I'm actually at my local shopping mall. I'm a mall rat, I work from the mall. This is just a cool little area. Whoa, shit. I just did my workout. I just got my sweat on, the gym's right there and I just hang out at the mall all day. Patrick: Let me close this door for just a second before it gets too loud. Katrina: Oh where are our comments? Who's saying hello to us? I just realised we're ignoring you guys and we're only talking to ourselves. I haven't said hello to anybody yet. Patrick: Yeah, Ryan in the house. What's up Ryan, what's up Sage, Cody ... Katrina: Hey everybody. I'm dropping all my shit. Brandon you must have not only see first notifications but you must have some kind of alarm that goes off in your house 'cause you're always instantly there supporting and representing. Patrick: He does. I guarantee he does. He's ready to roll too as well. Katrina: He's always ready to go. Patrick: I have some good news as well today, again. I sold my second programme today. Number two. Katrina: Of course you did. Congratulations. That's a virtual hug. Patrick: Yeah, virtual hug. Get that out the way quickly. Katrina: There's one for everybody as well. Hugs all around. Hey Mandy, Hey Theo, hey everybody just in. That's awesome. You're just owning that energy space that you need to be in, right? Katrina: I saw something you said the other day. Oh, it was in the post that you did about your first sale and you said how you haven't done any funnels yet or any advertising yet or anything like that. It's all been mindset, you went all in on mindset which obviously is something that I was really excited to read. Patrick: Yeah I did and it's one of those things you know? It's something I just want to stick to 'cause I got all the other things down. I can do all the other things. I can do funnel. I already know that that's something easy. Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: But I wanted to do my take, cause I know that's just a winner. I can help people out. Much more so with that, it's a bigger fundamental change they can make in their life. Anybody can run Facebook Ads. You can get on YouTube and learn how to build a funnel. Doesn't matter. Build your shit with work press and work with word press everyday, no problem. Katrina: So [crosstalk 00:05:24]. Me? Patrick: What's that? Katrina: Did you say I know nothing about funnels? Patrick: Well I mean ... when I talk to you, you don't really concern yourself with funnels, I like that. It's such a fad type deal. Katrina: I do. I run a programme for my community of funnels cause I was like I know everyone wants to know about it. And yes there are some things we could say about it, but largely my team taught the programme for me. And I just came on like a rock star and did the mind set side of funnels. Cause even when I talk about what should be in a funnel. What I talked about was creating the experience. When people come in to your community. Think about the first seven days and what is the experience you want people to have being apart of your community. You don't want them to fee like they joined another email list. Yay. It should be like, holy shit, what is this bad ass community? Katrina: What's up John? What's up Linda? Linda. Hello. Patrick: Who can you be apart of? Which can segway into my community and what we're talking about today ... cause mine is ... obviously yours is, yours is daily kick ass read for fucken leaders, but you have mostly women. By the way, the person who bought the programme today is a woman. I think she's one of your tribe actually. Katrina: Oh cool. Patrick: Yeah it'd be kind of wild to see how it plays out. But my view is Entrepreneurs Player Club. So it's for men. It's a men's community for men who wanted it all. Who want to take it to the next level no matter what it is in life. They wanna level all the way up. And so it's ... that's the experience I'm providing. You know what I mean? Katrina: Yeah. Patrick: Both have that aspect. So talking relationships I'm sure y'all do that. They were talking about relationships. They were asking about men and women communications on your streams? Katrina: It's ... not on the live stream more on the client groups and then friendships conversations as well. In fact, Linda and I were talking about this last night. Linda's one of my besties on the live stream, she's staying at my house at the moment, she might even be at my house right now. And we were talking about it and we were having some laughs about a few things ... just common thins women do that should be made into viral videos. Ways that women analyse and obsess things that men say, for example. So we were cracking up laughing at things we know we do that are really silly. Katrina: But yet, we still feel like it's a real true thing. But I have this conversation with clients all the time. Not ... I'm gonna say it doesn't happen ... Linda is my wife this week. I already had two marriage offers this week, no this is the third one. Callie Remy's offered to marry me, she's always offering to marry me. She gets very upset when she thinks that anybody else might get in there. Now Linda's offered as well ... it's fine ... I'm fine with what's the word? Polyamory. Katrina: I don't think the relationship conversation happen as much in the daily asking crew as they might. Because it is men and women in there.- Patrick: Yeah.- Katrina: So maybe people don't put themselves out there quit as much. But it happens more in my inner circle client group. We do a weekly hot seat masterminds live stream. So for all my private clients, and I would say ... 30 to 40 percent of the conversation is to do with relationships. Then also on my private clients box me everyday and they just audio update me with their questions or what's going on. Probably 30 to 40 percent what my clients ask me about is their relationship stuff. And only 30 percent is business and the rest is whatever to do with labs. Katrina: So, I noticed how when you talk about Entrepreneur Club, you say it's for male entrepreneurs but you say it's about up levelling in every are of life. How relationship all of that. And that's definitely what I feel like I do with my clients as well. That they are all entrepreneurs of some kind. They're coming wanting to up level their business, make more money. But it's actually about creating your whole life purposely. So that's where a lot of the conversations come from. Katrina: But I thought it would be a good topic because I'm not ... firstly I find it a little bit funny that my clients continually ask me for relationship advice cause I'm not an expert on this. Like I can read your ... if they tell me something they said or did or this happened with a guy and what do you think? I'm like ... I'm still learning and growing in this area as well as all areas ... but probably this area more than others I would say, at the moment. So it's not like I'm a certified expert. But, here's my thoughts so here's my feelings. But then when I try and give clients supportive feedback ... and same when I have conversations with friends about something that's happened with a guy in their life. I'm like but I don't really know the male perspective. I only know certain things that I've learned and studied. Katrina: You and I were talking about this last week on the phone. About how I've spent a lot of time over the last year or year and a half trying to understand male/female dynamics. And learning and up levelling in that, so I feel like I understand so much more than I would have 18 months ago. But still I'm like I don't know. I keep forgetting ... and this is what I wanted to talk about with you ... I keep forgetting that men don't think like women do right? Patrick: Yeah.- Katrina: There's a certain way that women think and that we approach things. And rules of behaviour that are just automatic for women. And I think that we as women, are prayed in the same way. So then if a man doesn't communicate in a way that we would, we instantly assume they're upset at us or they're annoyed at us, or that they're not interested or whatever it might be. Instead of just being like, men think this way in this situation and women think this way. Does that make any sense? Patrick: Yeah for sure. It's a communication thing. It's like, I know several people that are trying to figure this out. One of the main things is people wanna know is how they communicate better across the genders ... male and female ... try to figure that out and crack the code. I know a guy who's working on it. It's actually his life goal is to figure this out and he thinks that whenever he has figured this out, he'll have solved it and be rich beyond his wildest dreams. Patrick: Everybody, I think, is actively trying to figure it out. I hear this sometimes in my group. I asked the group to find out what they're looking for and what they want in the next ... what they want ... need frame or value on for the next thing that I drop. Patrick: They do quite frequently ask about relationship issues, it's like all across the board. But what I've figured out is that it is always a communication issue. On the aspect is, they always have a communication issue or problem. And so, what I've actually learned recently and through training ... cause I actually looked in to this stuff ... and I've always been trying to figure this out better. It hasn't been always at the top of the list of what I wanted to do. Like I was more concerned about business and opportunities. Patrick: Now later I'm trying to learn more about this. So the best thing that I've learned to do. And I've learned that works the best ... this is so cliché ... but it's just so fucken simple right? It's just being 100 percent honest about every fucekn thing. Like no matter what people just fear rejection.- Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: That's one of the most basic things, humans don't want to deal with. They don't want to deal with rejection. So they're going to put a mask on, they're going to alter the things that they say and change the things they say. And not be generally honest person. But I think it works out ... this thing is shaking like crazy ... you gave me this thing, I don't know what the hell is going wrong with it.- Katrina: The tri-pod. Sometimes of gets loose and the top and you've got to tighten that little wheel. Patrick: Yeah, how the hell do you tighten the wheel? Oh there we go. Katrina: You hold the other and then you move just the wheel bit. Patrick: There it goes. Katrina: That took me like six months to master. It used to drive me insane. Patrick: It was just bobbing around. Katrina: Hello. Patrick: Hey there we go. Being 100 percent honest, so cliché, but its what people don't fucken do. Katrina: But what if we just said what we think right? What if every time we communicated what I'm actually thinking or feeling, and maybe it is actually scary sometimes to say that or confront it. Okay. Fricken take a deep breathe and give yourself a slap on the cheek and say it anyway. Because it's never gonna serve you to hide your truth. Not in this era, not gonna serve you in this obviously. Patrick: By you saying this, and what you do and what you talk about in every other business and aspect is the key. So should come to you with relationship advice, they should come to your with communication advice. This is the thing that works the best. Katrina: Okay. Can everybody just note that Patrick said I'm an expert on relationship and now I'm gonna do a course on it. You heard it here. Patrick: There you go. You've been dubbed. Katrina: Of course I'm going the to do a course on it at some point. There's gonna be a course on everything. Your ideas of ... you said the things they want most from you is relationship stuff. It's funny cause I asked that same question yesterday in my group. And the thing that most people said they either want me to talk about backwards ageing or about sex. But then when they gave more detail about what they want about sex. I was like okay I'm not gonna do a tantra course or something. I thought they meant sex, the act of having sex. They meant the sexual energy and manifestation I think through sexual energy is what they meant. So a little bit different but still related. Patrick: Yeah they are. I'd like to get in to see what you have to say about that as well too. You know just now getting into that male to female energy. Because males ... A especially ones that are good at communicating with women. They have a certain amount of female energy. It's a yin and a yang. Katrina: Of course.- Patrick: They have that inside of them. That's me to a certain degree. A lot more male ... a lot more on the male side. But when people notice I have this, they have more female in them. They can communicate better that way. And- Katrina: Were they accessing it? Because they already have the male, they already have the feminine in you. It's whether you're allowing it through or accessing it. Patrick: Right, exactly. So another thing I've also learned as well ... everybody's got problems right? I've got a problem too about myself but, I've got a forward free attitude about things. I'm not scared to die. So some people who communicate better with women, better across the sexes. Some men who do this, are men who are concerned with security. For example, men who don't like to fly or put themselves in positions where they could potentially die. They understand security and that is more attractive to women. And that allows them to communicate better with women. Katrina: Why is that more attractive to women? Explain that. Patrick: Because women are more interested in security, for the most part. I know you're gonna say, "Well I have my own philosophy."- Katrina: Is that your impression of ... Katrina: No, no, no. Was that Katrina right then? Cause it was appalling. It was worse than when you did the accent. Which was a British. Patrick: I was gonna say, I saw the look in your eyes. Katrina: No, no. Calm down. I was confused. If you think back to when we were on the phone last week, I know that I directly said to you was women want to feel stability and security but that has to do with ... to me that has to do with full authenticity with what each person wants and knowing where you stand and knowing what the other persons true desires and hopes are. You know? And what their boundaries or standards are, right? Patrick: Yeah.- Katrina: I feel stable and secure ... as best as you can know what somebody else is thinking ... but if I know what that persons really thinking and wanting. As opposed to marriage doesn't give security, living together doesn't give security, all these things that people think, when I get that in my relationship then I'm safe, then I'm secure. Then I'm set up. Well I've certainly learned that those things are, that's smoke and mirrors. Katrina: I'm not saying you shouldn't have those things if you want those things, but that is not where security or stability is found in a relationship. And there can't be any security or stability if there's not honesty, right? Patrick: Absolutely. Katrina: And real honesty because I feel like most couples out there would say that they're honest with each other. But it's like to a point maybe. Because there's certain areas that are just taboo or consider acceptable. Or if my partner knew that I thought that, or wanted to do that then they would reject me. So it comes back to what you said before, that fear of rejection. Which is just fear of not being accepted for who you are. Patrick: Yeah, exactly.- Katrina: I was confused when you said about the thing about dying, that confused me. Patrick: Well I was pulling something up. I had a conversation and I was talking about this too and it was more of an attraction thing to have ... I do believe the sexes are different on a DNA level, they're different. Patrick: There's things that you guys find attractive about us that are totally fucking different ... totally fucking different than what we find attractive about y'all. You know? And what draws us to you and what we have to maintain. We have to maintain certain things with women to keep a relationship going. If we start acting a certain way, your DNA is gonna tell you, you gotta get the fuck rid of us. If we start changing our behaviour? Katrina: Like what? Patrick: Well for example if we went from attracting you with being more of an alpha male and we got into the relationship we start being more of a beta male. We started letting ourself go, becoming a fat fuck. And not maintaining that same energy and vibe. We weren't congruent with who you're originally interested in. And we started changing our habits and letting things go. Not only would you see not attracted, you would feel a certain thing inside you that I gotta get rid of this mother fucker or just tear him down to get him out of my life. Or a lot of women ...- Katrina: You wouldn't feel safe. If I was in that situation I would feel emotionally unsafe. I would feel like this guys can't decide if he's going right or left in his life, and on a fundamental ... I think you might need to turn your lighting on ... your in the dark. On a fundamental level, from a survival point of view ... some women might be angry at me for saying this but women want men to protect them and take care of them.- Patrick: That's right. Katrina: On some level if come guy can't decide where he's going in the course of this day, then how the fuck is he gonna take care of me or protect me or have my back. That's what I would feel. Even if I didn't assess that in my conscious mind. On a subconscious level that's what I would be feeling. Then you'd feel unsettled, you'd feel destabilised. Then that would turn to resentment and anger at the guy because it would feel like what the fuck I thought that you were there for and I could depend upon you emotionally, if not in other ways. Then all of the sudden the floor just fell out from under me. So at first I'm gonna feel scared and I'm gonna feel upset. And then if it doesn't correct I'm gonna get angry. And then I think men ... women start to get angry and they turn hard and they turn into bitches and they activate their masculine. Katrina: Then if you add to the fact that right now we're largely speaking to of audience of women who are driven, successful women or are already in their masculine in business. So then if you've got a relationship if the man's not being a man and not leading. Then the woman is gonna be so far in her masculine, which is gonna result in all sorts of whacked up shit, weight gain, angry bitch syndrome, or whatever you wanna call it. Katrina: And it becomes this vicious cycle where the guys not becoming more and more in his power and the women is feeling like she's gotta be in the power and be in charge. But she doesn't want to do that ... maybe some women say they want to be the boos in the relationship ... not the women I know though ... I know women are out there who are like fuck men, but I feel like those women don't feel that at their core. It's just how they've learned to protect themselves.- Patrick: Yeah. Katrina: I know for me and my clients, we're all very driven, high achieving women ... but we talk about this all the time so I'm speaking from my heart ... we want the man to be the man. We want the man to lead, we don't wanna be in charge in the relationship. But if the guy ... like you said ... if the guys not being in his power and not being a leader and not being a "man", then the woman's gonna feel in order to feel safe and for survival reasons she gonna be like, I've gotta fricken run this game. And then be angry at you for not doing it. Patrick: Exactly. And that's the communication thing that we're talking about. People need to know this ... like you have a great beat on this thing ... but most people are like what are you saying the DNA has nothing to do with it. It is, it's very much genetic survival level shot right here. Katrina: For sure.- Patrick: Doesn't matter if you're a woman or not. You're still gonna feel the same thing. If a dudes acting like this, you're still gonna have problems.- Katrina: Yep.- Patrick: You might not know where it's coming from. But if you trace it back to this, that's where it's coming from. It's coming from cave man shit. Cave man days.- Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: If he's starting to act out like that and you're starting to have problems and you're wondering where these communication issues are coming from. You can trace it back to this. Katrina: On a level were still cave women and cave men and our hormonal systems and our nervous systems operate the same way. And even if a women doesn't have children, psychological, hormonally, and from the nervous system she's wired to want to protect her young. Even if she doesn't have any kids, so that will come up as well, right? Even if it's a relationship with no kids, if the guys starts not being a guy, the women's gonna be worried about that for her own sake but there's also wiring in there hormonally that's like, shit you can't protect my babies, even if they don't exist.- Patrick: Yeah.- Katrina: So that brings up even more anger and hormonal responses. So it's just ... I feel grateful that I understand this from when I was in the fitness industry for years. Cause for eight years I actively studies hormonal patterns and advanced hormonal science, it wasn't just physical training that I did. So I get it all from that. So I've learned it all from business as well as my own relationships previously ending. And then watching so many clients end up in broken marriages or broken relationships. And then just looking at these patterns and it's like strong women need and actually want strong men, right? Katrina: They don't wanna be the one who's acting like the men in the relationship. Patrick: But they also need better men too. Because this is the thing ... all that stuff is true and you've got all the underlying communication going on right here. You've got the ... now we understand we've got to be this type of dude. I've gotta make sure I maintain that as well. But I've also gotta be an honest dude. I have to be congruent and say exactly what the fuck is on my mind. Exactly what the fuck is going on. Cause all this other bullshit, this hiding thinking I'm just gonna leave or whatever. That's not what a man does. A man doesn't have a problem with that. A man's not worried if she leaves her or not. That's not how she should be. It should be all of free, she should be free to do what she wants to do. If she wants to leave she can leave. Patrick: But if she wants to be with you she should stick with you. All that stuff should be lined out and laid out honestly, from the get go. From the ... if you lay it out and have a clear map of what's going on. Otherwise you're gonna have these hairline issues, but your whole shits gonna be based on this milky murky service.- Katrina: It's not stable. Patrick: It's gonna be very unstable, yeah. That's why the one key that opens everything up ... and there's never really a problem when you're honest. If you already built something based on fucking lies and stuff already and it's got so far, then you're probably gonna have a problem. Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: People are probably are married and shits already set up like this. So in that aspect ...- Katrina: They didn't just set it at the start. Patrick: Huh? Katrina: Yeah, you're right. They didn't discuss it at the start. And I ... that's a hard one cause I'm no longer in the relationship that wasn't working, right? But imagine that you're in a relationship and you loved that person ... and I know quite a few people who are in this situation, right? They're in a really fucked up, toxic relationship. They're both being assholes. They're both hating on each other. The male/female dynamics are all screwed up. But what if they're still in love. What if they still love each and they want to make it work. Katrina: Well then it's like anything ... it's like if someone ends up 50 pounds overweight ... if I remember one time I helped a client lose it would have been near 100 pounds. She went from being chronically obese to being a fitness bikini model, winning world titles, unbelievable, fucking amazing. But it took 18 months ... it was even a bit more than that. And in that time, she really fricken showed up, every single day. She did what I said to do, she gave her all to it, she completely changed her life. She wasn't just like, I want to lose weight so I'll go to the gym three days a week. She committed to her health and fitness 100 percent. And she ended with a result that is so rare for someone to go from being chronically obese to a bikini fitness model ... and by the way she was 44 as well when we did this. It was phenomenal. And to this day I think she's one of the most impressive things I've seen. Katrina: And I think it's the same thing. If somebody's in a really toxic relationship but they do love that person, they wanna stay with that person. Well both can change but you'd really have to fucken be committed to that. It's not gonna happen if you go to a therapy session every weeks. Or if you do a date. Everyone's like we do date. Okay, I'm sure going to the movies once a week is gonna fix all your problems. Katrina: What about ... how many people are communicating and actually being brave enough to share what they're really thinking. That's what it would take. I'm not an expert on it, I have done that, turning a relationship around like that. And I believe fully that of course it can be done. But it would require both parties to be committed and it would require that all in attitude, like my client had when she lost all that weight. Katrina: There was something I was gonna say there. Patrick: Well that ... look what Brandon said, he's actually saying something, he's not trolling today ... he says being able to express emotions is not from a place of weakness. That's good too. Patrick: If you're doing the date night and stuff life that. You're on that and everything trying to make it work. But the guy has to be vulnerable with still maintaining all the other shit that we're talking right? All the other vibes the alpha vibes and things like that.- Katrina: Still being a man.- Patrick: All that same stuff. Free too. I don't give a fuck. I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do, but I'm gonna continue to be social, I'm gonna go out and do what I do and have a good time. And whatever still be that way, no matter how mad you get, that's still going to happen. Patrick: But also vulnerable. Saying how you really feel about it. I don't want you to fucken leave. I don't want you to go anywhere. You're a huge part of my life and I don't want you to leave or do anything like that. To say something like that but still maintaining the other stuff, that is not said. That you just do, the behaviour that you have.- Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: That's the way to keep it going the right way. So you're maintaining on the subconscious level but also with being vulnerable to a point. You still have to have that female come out.- Katrina: Well that's huge for women for sure. I know I've heard this so many times in different relationships in my life. And I hear this a lot through client and friend conversations too. I think men will tend to assume that we already know how you feel. And they'll be like she knows I feel this way about her. She knows that I don't want her to go or she knows I love her. But you know what? We want you to say it, a lot. That's just what women want. Katrina: And this is exactly something I wanted to ask you. I was gonna get your opinion on this. My female friends for example ... my best friends, so like Linda who was on the live earlier ... Kelly, whoever my friends are. We communicate with each other every single day ... I don't know if all women do this but my friends and I do pretty much daily ... we'll update each other pretty much about everything that's going on in our days. Almost like, it's a form of journaling. I'll be driving and walking and I'll be sending audio messages to my friends. All my friends, this happened and then I thought this, and then I'm analysing my shit or giving them feedback on this maybe. Katrina: But then it's kind of like a continual communication there. Even if one of us is doing an event or really busy with something, there might be less communication but we still check in. And women check in with each other all the time. We have a continual communication. My point is that we do that even if there's nothing to talk about. Where what I've observed with men, it seems to be like, there'll be communication there is there's something to say or if there's something specific to discuss. Or if you end up talking to someone then you end up talking and communicating. But men don't do the check in communication thing.- Patrick: Yes.- Katrina: And I think women kind of want that ... well we do want that. And then when men don't stay in contact we feel like like maybe they're annoyed at us or they've forgotten about us or they're not really into us or something like that. Because we wouldn't do that. We always communicate with other women. But we expect to communicate with men and then I think it's like where's the line. I know when I was journaling last year, what's my ideal relationship I remember specifically writing down, I don't wanna feel like we have to check in with each other everyday. Like I don't want to feel like you've got to check in with me each day, I also don't wanna feel like I've gotta report back on my fucking actions or something like that. Katrina: But then I want that communication. So what's your take on that, what do men feel about communication, if there's nothing really to communicate about. Communication for the sake of communication. Patrick: That's definitely 100 percent. It just depends on the guy and how he communicates. The more he sends you messages the better, cause that's sign of good communication. He understand that a women wants to hear that. That y'all want to hear that. That you need back ... not even like check in ... but I understand like saying what's up? Just to let you know you're on my mind. That type of stuff.- Katrina: Yeah, yeah, yeah.- Patrick: If the dude doesn't do that very well then he's not communicating very well at all. I can understand how people get that way, especially entrepreneurs. Because they get so busy ... especially with social media, the computer age, your so inundated with information and your so inundated with things going and your life gets so busy that you skip past that sometimes. Patrick: Or your just constantly ... we're constantly in from of the phone talking to tonnes of clients. It can get really hectic. That's the way it is in my life at least. That's the way that I'll find myself slipping up on my own communication. And not really doing the right thing on that end. Patrick: Any guy ... every guy needs to know that you should do that. Women need to hear that, that they need to feel that. That you have to have a constant string of communication like that. If you don't then you need to find a chick .. you haven't really found the one that's worth it for you. You need to find someone that's worth it for you to do that for. Patrick: If you've got somebody then you don't need to be with them. You need to go let them find somebody that will give them that. Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: Any guy that knows what he's doing will communicate every day. At least that's from my experience. Patrick: What do you think? Katrina: Yeah, for sure. For sure. But I think sometimes also men just don't know this. I think they legitimately ... this is what I've heard or read or figured out from observing ... sometimes I think men think, what I said before. You said men need to be vulnerable and say what they're thinking and feeling. And a lot of times men think, oh she already knows that I feel that. But it's like even if we know, we still want to hear it. Kind of repeatedly. Patrick: Yeah, yeah. Still say it even if you don't get a response from it. Keep on saying it. Keep on saying it. Just keep on going. Same thing with their life. Y'all can get busy too. Katrina: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Patrick: It's the same way though. That's where the miscommunication comes in. But do never stop telling a woman the stuff that you feel about them. Should never stop doing that. It should be consistent. Consistent thing. Patrick: As far as guys go, how we communicate. Me and my best friends we just send meme's back and forth I work with my friend. So we'll pick up the phone and talk business. Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: Calling ... people don't fucking call anymore, you gotta call. And talk too. Pick up the phone and call.- Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: Meaningful talking, tell them what's on your mind. Tell them how you feel, that's what all of this is all about feelings. All feels. Katrina: It goes both ways cause I know we get really scared to say what we're feeling, cause it's just that constant vulnerability. Fear of being exposed or fear of feeling that you've opened yourself up. Vulnerability that you might get rejected or hurt. So if men what to say what they're feeling more, women need to be brave enough to do that as well. And ultimately realise that if you tell a guy how you feel and you share your truth. And then that scares them away or they don't agree or don't like it or they don't align to it. Then that's fantastic then you figured out not to waste your time. Better to say what you really think and you really want and having a discussion about or feel like, nope that's never gonna happen, that doesn't move it for me, I don't like it, I don't align to that. Well maybe you got hurt or you feel hurt but actually you saved yourself a fuck load of effort and time, rather than dancing around hoping you can ... what? Trick some body into wanting to be with you or something? Patrick: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You also got ... sorry I was just reading some of these comments ... but you also got ... fuck I was thinking of something ... fuck ... my brain, I just had an aneurism ...- Katrina: Just a minor little one. You look fine. You seemed to have survived. Marsha says you love the accent. I don't know if you means your accent or my accent. Patrick: What I was going to say is if the guy also has issues in the past ... as I do .. I have issues in the past, that I've been fucked over before, plenty of times. All you have to fucken do is say it. Very fucken simple. Just fucken tell the situation.- Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: You've been fucked over. Who gives a fuck, the same way as there are as many clients in the world. There's as many women in the world. So why don't you just be honest, you're gonna run into somebody. Just be fucking honest, say what the fuck ... say what is really going on.- Katrina: Yeah, for sure.- Patrick: What think she's gonna tell her friends and you're never gonna get laid again? Don't be stupid, and turn away getting laid. Say what you really ... don't lead people down this death trap. If you've got issues, if you got shit you need to work out. Bring that shit up to the front. Let em know, boom what you get yourselves into, that way they know. That way from there it's so easy to be honest. ' Katrina: Right. Totally. Women appreciate that. I don't know if men wanna hear all that. Actually I wanna hear your answer to this cause I saw guy the other day say ... I can't remember where this was maybe a post on Facebook or something ... I saw a guy say, I don't wanna hear all your issues, I don't wanna hear your shit that happened with your ex or something. And I was kind of triggered by it when I saw this post. Katrina: Okay, I wouldn't want to be going on and on about my previous relationships all the time. But it does feel like to me it's relevant or important to talk about cause that's part of who I am in as a person and part of my growth that I'm currently doing ... for me personally for example ... is a lot of it is what I learned from previous relationships that I didn't want. Katrina: So to me it makes sense that I would speak about that to some degree, with the person who's in my life. I saw this guy put a post up like, you know, men don't wanna hear that, we don't want to hear your stories about what happened to you before or what your feeling. It was maybe kind of an asshole post but I was like, is that true? Cause women do ... we do actually wanna hear those stories. We really wanna hear where somebody's at and what they're thinking or feeling. Cause then it comes back to civility and we feel safe. Okay now I understand it. Patrick: Like if she's worth it. If she's worth it. Bad communication if she's worth it and you don't wanna hear her fucking past because that's all good shit right there. You want to know her demons are up, you want to know who her fucking enemies are because you want to go, her enemies are your fucking enemies, right? That's your job as a man. So you gotta ... this is all information you should wanna hear ... like I said, if she's worth it. If she's not then bounce down the road.- Katrina: Yep.- Patrick: But if she is, if she's worth it to you then that would be the lamest thing I ever heard. I bet she's probably not getting much ... like you said you were getting turned off ...- Katrina: Yeah I unfriended him.- Patrick: There you go.- Katrina: I only keep how bad people and I was like ... okay thank you for showing me who you are. But I was curious ... then I felt insecure by it ... because then I was thinking that I've shared things that have to do with my past relationships even with you and then I was like, shit is that an annoying thing to do. Should I not be doing that? Then I kind of questioned myself on it. And then I moved on. But I was curious if other men think that or this guy was just random dude on my newsfeed that somehow snuck.- Patrick: That's a random dude. You wanna know as a man who wants to be better man who wants his relationships to last, you should be more than interested, more than happy. And those people be like, oh my gosh I can't hear this. I know some dudes thinking this way. But fuck man you probably suck at communication. Look at your relationships. Look at what you got going on in your life. Look at the woman of your dreams, is she still there? Probably fucking not. Patrick: You should wanna hear that shit. You should want to listen to that and hear it. You wanna know what her crazy is. You wanna take her crazy. You wanna be able to handle ... just drop it on me. Drop all the bad, drop all the negative, bring it to me. I'll take it for you. We'll play these games together. Katrina: Yeah, yeah. Patrick: That's the best ...- Katrina: That's pretty cool. I think that's definitely what makes us feel safe. That's what we want. We want to feel that way, safe to express. And it's also because relationship are constant growth. There constantly giving you an opportunity to see your shit. Sometimes your shit comes up. I think the more a relationship is a soul alliance relationship the more that it actually can show you your shit and bring your shit to the surface, so sometimes it can feel a bit relentless or a bit fuck I don't wanna be faced with all my shit every fricken day. And it's kind of life with mentoring as well. With a solo mentoring, I know I'm such a mirror for my clients, that sometimes they don't want to hear it. They're like fuck off Kat. Get up, go away, I don't wanna be in that space. And it's well okay, they're gonna come back anyway cause this the growth that I know I need. Right?- Patrick: Yeah.- Katrina: This is what I need to step into. And I think with a soul alliance relationship it's the same thing. The more that there's a true connection there the more it's actually for your growth for both of you. For your growth and healing so it may or may not last forever, whatever that is, but either way when there's that connection and that time together, you're both going to continually get confronted with your shit and then it's, okay, yes it feels uncomfortable or I feel scared or I feel triggered or now I'm feeling insecure. Katrina: So the two things I've really learned from that is, like what we've just been saying, tell the other person this is what I'm feeling. I'm feeling insecure, I'm feeling this. But secondly also look at, what can I learn from that? How can I grow from that? Because is that real and true or is this my reactive story. Maybe something happens and then it reminds you of a previous relationship, where that meant something bad or scary so then you automatically assume something bad or scary's gonna happen and you get into this reactive state and this reactive story rather than actually seeing for what it is. And being like ah ... like a huge one for girls is if they message a guy and then the guy doesn't reply, right? Or doesn't reply for a few days or whatever. Katrina: We'll go into a massive tail spin drama, like clearly he hates me now. He doesn't like me at all, he's not interested and then ... my friends and I were talking ... I think Linda and I were talking about this ... and it was like or maybe he just didn't reply and that's the whole end of the story and there's actually no additional meaning to it at all. And you just created all this stuff in your head. Like maybe you did this, maybe he wasn't checking messages, maybe he didn't feel like replying. But it doesn't have to be, oh my God it was this and this and this and this and this. Katrina: So for me when I notice myself having those reactions, like oh my God it means this this this and this and then I laugh at it. I'm like okay or it could mean nothing at all. I've got all my own stories and drama coming up so this is a great opportunity for me to process that, detoxify it and see where I'm living actively in, as opposed to casting in myself. Patrick: Yeah. But he could also say something to to fix that. Like if you don't hear from me, and say like an hour or two hours after you message me just hit me back, you've probably got lost in the sauce. Probably got lost in the mix. Katrina: Yeah, yeah.- Patrick: Something he could fix right there. Katrina: But without ...- Patrick: If you're a man.- Katrina: That's a good thing to say cause what women will think though. They would think that would make me look needy or insecure, if I followed up the message. Then he's gonna think I'm hassling him or I'm needy. So that's the female mindset. Patrick: Yeah.- Katrina: Right? Rather than being more ... go ahead.- Patrick: What's that? Patrick: Hello? Patrick: We got a bad connection? Katrina: No, I think I just cut you off. We're you still talking? Patrick: I was just saying if you say something like that, then that kind of opens ... that lets you do know that that's cool to do, you know? Katrina: Right. Yeah.- Patrick: It opens it up.- Katrina: Yeah. Alright I feel like we talked a lot about what women want from men but what do men want from women then? Patrick: Well, it's pretty basic. Obviously if your a deeper thinking guy you want good conversation, good company, hanging out. But then there's always sex, the basic needs, sex ... I mean just want to ... you have to have something you really want to go for. It's like a [inaudible 00:49:22]. It has to be something you're really trying to achieve. And this could something more than, it's something you're trying to get over yourself. Something you're trying to level up yourself. You definitely want somebody you can speak with, that you can communicate with and just share stuff back and forth with. A companion is what a good girlfriend is, you know? Patrick: That's pretty basic. Guys we don't really require that much. As long as those things are there that's fine. Also, and this just ... there's a lot of different flavours of what people are looking for out there. I can't tell a guy what he's looking for in a woman or anything like that, you know? But as far as my own wife. Being open, being honest, say what I wanna say and have somebody that's down with that ...- Katrina: Shit.- Patrick: Like I said, as long as I'm being honest then I don't have to worry about ...- Katrina: Oh my God.- Patrick: I don't have to worry about the other shit. That other persons gonna bounce off, that's gonna be my flavour. It's like the perfect client or the perfect customer.- Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: As long as I keep on being myself and keep on saying what's on my mind out here, then they're gonna come. Katrina: Be fully you.- Patrick: My right person. I can't speak for all men on what they're looking for, all I know is that I keep doing this. Keep saying what's on my mind then the right person or right people are gonna come into my life no matter what. That's not a problem. I just manifest that.- Katrina: Yeah. Katrina: [crosstalk 00:51:13] Katrina: It's the same as your friends, right? We don't worry about all this stuff in order to find any amazing friends that we've got in our lives. It didn't come about through some process surveying people, trying to be cool, trying to be whatever. You become friends with someone because it just happens somehow. Wherever you met them. There's a resonance there and you become best friends. And that's exactly how I've attracted all my friends. It just kind of happens. I just be who I am and they come along. It definitely had gotta be the same with relationship ... I think there's probably exceptions to this ... I think it can be super casual or whatever, doesn't really matter as much, it's just in the moment. Katrina: But for anyone who you're gonna see ... for me at least ... anyone that I'm gonna see more than a few times, I've gotta have that connection, I've gotta have that resonance there. Or I'm gonna get really bored. But it's just not, it doesn't feel like a good use of my time. It would kind of feel like I would try and be friends with somebody just because they were my neighbour or lived on my street. I'm sure we could get a long and have a conversation but I'm really gonna not do that unless I absolutely have to. Patrick: Yeah, exactly. Or just in a particular situation, you're out having fun or whatever and it's just something happens. That's natural. If you're a person who's congruent, people are gonna find that attractive about you. People are gonna find you attractive just cause you're a nice woman, you got nice hair and everything like that. So they're gonna find you attractive. I don't discount anybody out here having fun and doing all that. But for fun if you're talking about a soul connection and things like that, that just comes ... you feel that back and forth. It's just somebody who's easy for you to talk to.- Katrina: Right.- Patrick: It's so easy for you to pick up the phone and talk to them. Or so easy for you to text back and forth and speak to them and you can speak to them for a long time and you can speak to them for a long time, it's good conversation. If you don't have that and you've just got this shit pieced together because of the persons looks or you're feeling rejecting of that person to leave. If you don't have this back and forth then why the fuck ...- Katrina: There's no connection ...- Patrick: Go ...- Katrina: Right ...- Patrick: Just figure something else out, stope having a scared fish mentality about your life.- Katrina: Totally.- Patrick: You're scared this persons gonna leave. Or your scared this persons gonna think of you or whatever. And you just so forgetting that there's seven billion people on this planet. Katrina: Yeah. It should only be soulful. The friend thing again. There's plenty of friends that I've faded out over my life in the past five to ten years as I've become more and more who I am, I guess. In business and life. There's been friendships lost along the way. It's not like I ever broke up with any friends or socked anybody as my friend. But it just faded away, like you would meet up and it would be like, so this is really hard going to have a conversation. Katrina: So to me I have the level that I expect from all my relationships. Whether it's friends, clients, or romantically, where I'm just not gonna be in that if I don't have that conversation. And with men in particular, it wouldn't even progress beyond a certain point of that connections not there. You might have somebody and go out once or twice, but for me and my client as well ... I speak for my clients. I don't think it would get past two or three times meeting up with someone where your like, well if that conversation isn't there I can't do that. This is draining my soul and my mind. It doesn't mean I can't laugh and have fun and be social in different situations. But to spend time one on one with somebody, sex alone is not enough to keep you going, to meet up with somebody. At a certain point it's like I actually have to talk to this person as well. Patrick: Yep. It's one that leads to deeper conversations. It just is. But with the internet now, with social media the way it is ... you're really wasting time ... I can understand back in the day with horse and buggy shit and they had to settle, settle for something out there. But you're an enlightened person, you're thinking higher level than you would be so wasting your time. And why would you do such a fucking thing? Why would you settle and trap yourself and be living in a prison the rest of your life? I could not imagine what that must feel like for some people, you know? Katrina: Well people accept it as normal. They accept that that's just how it is. That relationships are a drain and that they're not something that I value to you. It's like something that cost you and I felt that way for a period as well, as you know. It was just where I was at in my journey that I bought into that belief. But fundamentally I didn't believe it and I wonder ... I see so many people who are so unhappy in their relationships and they just think that's how it is. But typically the people who I observe that are like that are the people who are not creating their life purposefully in other areas also. They're just accepting the status quo in everything. Where as for people like us, and people watching this. You don't accept the status quo in business or in lifestyle or in health. So why the fuck would we accept it in relationships? Katrina: Even for me, even when I was settling. I was so out of alignment and I knew it. I knew that fundamentally I don't believe this is how it has to be, of course I can have it all, cause I create my reality in business, in fitness , with my money, with my travel, with my lifestyle. Why would I not believe I can have a standard of excellence and amazingness in that area as well ...- Patrick: That's ...- Katrina: You can believe that ...- Patrick: That's a self love thing though. I think we've talked about this too. A big thing is self love. I started looking at this shit and I used to drink quite a bit and I started getting into these bad relationships. I started thinking about, I'd get into these bad relationships and I'd drink. When I wake up the next morning I would always think these things, I can't believe what you did, you fucken, I can't believe you acted like that, you drank, you piece of shit, you're fucken worthless. You're like garbage and I fucken hate myself. Patrick: So I thought this was something that happened after I got drunk. After I would get drunk and wake up the next morning just have these thoughts. But then I really started getting into loving myself. Love myself, loving the way I talk, loving the way I speak, loving the way I do things, loving the way I write and do things in general. And thinking that no matter what, even if I'm out there fucking up, I got my meme, I love the way I fuck things up. I love the way I fuck shit up ...- Katrina: Yeah, yeah, yeah.- Patrick: Even if I fuck shit up, it's part of my journey and I'm having a good time right? Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: I love the way that I do that. I love the way I get into shit. I get into some fucken trouble in the club, whatever, you know what I'm saying? I'm having a good time, it's fun. So then I start living like that, I started waking up and started feeling like, I would even get drunk and wake up the next morning and be like, fuck ... I wasn't having these thoughts anymore, you know? Katrina: Yep.- Patrick: I'm like I love myself.- Katrina: That self acceptance, yeah.- Patrick: It's not the ...- Katrina: Totally ...- Patrick: I'm not telling anybody just go be an alcoholic, I have a few drinks right? I've gotta control myself still. But, everything's in order. I'm not doing totally crazy shit like driving. I'll take an Uber as where I go. I just go have a good time. And even if I did, it's still self love. No matter what you do, still love yourself cause it's part of the fucken journey. That person that really, that person that needs to be in your life can come into your life, you know? And be part of your life, cause other wise you're gonna be building this prison cell for yourself. Katrina: Right.- Patrick: Around these people that you don't fucken life, cause you don't like yourself.- Katrina: Right, it's gotta be total love and acceptance. Brandon said love yourself even if you eat those fries. That's a really relevant analogy for a lot of women in particular. Katrina: Like I spent 15 years of my life if I would eat a fricken cookie I would hate myself for it and then I would do hours in the gym the next day. Now I'm like, if I eat something that doesn't feel good to me I'm like, okay whatever, either way I love and accept myself and from a place of love and acceptance I'm probably gonna make good choices. Katrina: Like there's many times where I might say something ... in relationships ... where I then feel self conscious or I feel like oh my God that was stupid or maybe I said it the wrong way. But I let go of it instantly now, because I'm like, it's whatever because I'm safe to be me. I love and accept myself regardless. And either this connection is real and will go on or it's not. And either way is fine. Cause like you were saying before, there's so many people in the world. The soul mate people are out there. The cookies. They want cookies ...- Patrick: They all sound good to me right now, I wish I had some ...- Katrina: Cookies. I just think you're so grounded when you learn how to love yourself. I know I fully love and accept myself now and that's probably really been in the past six to nine months. I think we were talking about this last week. I had to actively learn to do that though. I noticed that I finally admitted and acknowledged that I didn't love myself. That I wasn't treating myself as a person who loves themselves. And I embarked upon a bit of a journey to do that. Really, through my inner work and set work but mainly through choosing it. And also it's a helpful thing to use as kind of like, in order to figure shit out, whenever you feel unsure how to interact with somebody ... in a relationship or this is true in business also ... then you can say to yourself, if I did fully accept and love myself, what would I say in this moment? Right? - Patrick: Right.- Katrina: Or what would I act like? Is it something I need or want. I feel like that person doesn't know that or maybe they don't wanna give that. Well if I loved and accepted myself I would say what want. I would be okay with saying this is what I want, this is what I need. And I'd also be okay with the answer regardless, right? Katrina: Why would I need to be scared to say what I want if I love and accept myself? Patrick: Exactly. Same thing with guys too. - Katrina: So it's a practise.- Patrick: I could see myself though, before this, cause I've heard this plenty of times before and when I was younger. So it's very hard for somebody that doesn't love themselves to hear this kind of stuff. I don't know what you're talking about loving yourself, what the fuck are you talking about? Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: That shit. Life sucks, this kind of stuff. It's very hard, maybe this will change somebody that's right on the edge of that and get it started ...- Katrina: Well people have to be ... Katrina: [inaudible 01:02:49] Patrick: What is that? You said ... a guy still needs to hear this stuff to as well. Cause you've got two voices going on in your head. You got this one that's saying, yeah you got this pump up voice that's saying let's go dominate the world, let's go crush it, let's go make this money. But you also got this one that say, you fucken piece of shit, I can't believe you fucken did this, I can't believe that you fucked up again. People do this all the time, you'll say stuff, like you just fuck up, I can't believe you fucken lost your keys again, when you gonna stop fucken losing your keys. Where if you've heard somebody talk to you like this, if you heard somebody saying things to you like this, you would tell him to go fuck himself you know? If they told you, if they said things like this in real life ...- Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: You'd tell em to go fuck themselves. So it's like another, it's about self love right? That's a big ... that's a disconnect right there. You have to get rid of that voice, you have to love the stupid shit that you do ...- Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: You have to love all the shit that you do no matter what, cause it's just your journey. You have to flip that, so I'm telling you, that's part of it. So if you cath yourself saying things like that to yourself then that's a problem. That's something you need to ... when you do, your life's gonna be better, your relationships gonna be better. Things are just gonna fall into place.- Katrina: And it just makes it so easy well. You realise that you can't screw up. It's not possible to screw anything up. And then the other thing I like to use as a guiding question aside from love and acceptance is, reminding myself that everything's perfect and everything's as it's meant the be. So sometime when something happens where at first you're like fuck, that's not good, or that's scary or bad or whatever. To then go, oh but wait, if I fundamentally believe that everything's perfect then that means this actually meant to be what's happened. So even though I don't understand it right now or it feels confronting or it's just annoying or whatever it is. If everything's perfect, than that means this is perfect, that means I'm safe. That means everything's as it's meant to be, I'm on path, even if I can't see the fucking path. So therefore, I'm free. So what do I actually choose to do. What is my action that I'm gonna take in this moment. What do I want to say. Katrina: I just think relationship in particular are built ... commonly built on so much fear ... like so much masking and ding and trying to say the right thing or trying to show not too much of yourself, cause then you might end up unsafe. But really you get that safety from inside of you and it starts with love and acceptance. And it starts with having powerful, fundamental beliefs in place. Such as I believe I always make the right decision. I fully believe that about myself, but I had to process that belief, I had to cultivate that belief and even when I didn't believe it. Cause at first my mind would have been like, uh no you don't you screw up all the time. Katrina: So then I started practising that belief. No, I always make the right decision, everything is always as it's meant to be. It is impossible for me to screw up. Even if I say something and afterwards I'm like, why did I say that? Then I'll smile and go, well maybe I can't see the reason right now but I know that I always make the right decision. - Patrick: There you go. - Katrina: So therefore I was meant to say that in order to learn something. Patrick: Yep, exactly. I know I'm doing the right thing. No matter what. Not only that you have better conversations when you're honest. You'll start seeing these conversations, you'll start having these conversations, like holy fuck this is a real conversation.- Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: What the fuck are these mother fucker talking about? You listen to them. I heard one like, can we skip TGI Fridays today and go to this other place? TG what the fuck? Shit that you're talking about when you're having an honest conversation, like this is a different fucking conversation. It's a totally different thing. - Katrina: It's a whole new level. It's a level that most people will never operate on the truth of the matter. And like you said, maybe some people watch this and they're like what the fuck are these people on about. They're just full of shit or whatever. But I think people have to be understood and pointed on their journey. Even if they don't understand this to be curious and be like, yeah I feel like there's something there that I can explore and want to explore. And I wanna open myself up to that. Katrina: Why would you not open yourself up to complete freedom? Right? Patrick: You should. And that's why, the thing about marriage, I just don't see ... there's so much fucking different, different problems along the way. If these people have built something and they've signed a contract. If they've built it on something and they've signed a contract on something that's not like this. That's not 100 percent completely honest, which most of it isn't, let's be honest. Then I feel fucken sorry for these people. I really do. Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: It's just fucked up. Cause that's society, like we saying that's hypnotising, that's brain washing, that's why people wear these masks in the first place. That why people shut themselves down, and then they get in these fucken situations and then you know, next thing you know, get date nights and all this weird shit going on. Katrina: Yeah, but I think. I know for me, back when I got married, I'd never heard of all this stuff. It never occurred to me to share my deepest fears. I know we did speak very openly and vulnerably about a lot of stuff I guess but there were certain things where you didn't or you wouldn't or I didn't have the level of communicating or understanding that I do now have. And most people don't ... like you and I and people here, we're doing growth work every single day.- Patrick: Every day.- Katrina: In multiple areas of our lives and we're unbelieving all the time. Where as most people when they enter a relationship or get married have not even fricken heard of growth work so they might try and have an honest conversation but they don't even understand what that would mean to have a really honest conversation. So it's kind of an interesting one. I think even if you had a massive awesome level of open honest communication and then you got married ... but with or without you have this relationship, an official relationship. Well the only way that that's gonna thrive is if people are continuing their own individual growth and continuing to have those open discussions together as well. Katrina: It's just ... the reality is, there's just a few amount of people in the world, percentage wise, who do that. It still adds up to millions of people obviously but, it's not the norm. Katrina: I hear people talk about their relationships all the time or you'll observe it or you listen in. I travel so much and usually I'm by myself when I'm travelling so I really commonly will go to restaurants by myself and I'll just work on my laptop. And it's so interesting to just observe couple togeth

Check out this Vintage episode of Ansering the Ten Count from August 24th 2012 originally titled 'Who is your favourite Scottish Jewish wrestler' Here are the questions the boys tackled from Episode 25 - including a question from UK wrestler Noam Dar. 1. Noam Dar asks us - Best unsigned talents in the world? Discuss. 2. @therealjodaddy asks – Do you think Shawn Michaels vs Brock Lesnar is going to happen after Brock beat Triple H? 3. Fritz wants to know – To help CM Punk get over as an uncheered, hated heel should he call out Cena on his divorce or Mysterio & Orton on their Wellness suspensions? 4. RJ tweets us -Why is Christian jobbing?!?!?! Not really jobbing but he's not a main eventer and he's barely a midcarder. 5. AJ asks - Which finisher would you not take for $1 million dollars? 6. Lucas asks – What do you think is next for The Miz after his feud with Rey Mysterio? 7. Mina emailed in – Now Linda has won the Republican nomination in Connecticut Senatorial race, do you think this will further affect the WWE? 8. Mina also asked – When do you think that NXT Champion Seth Rollins will be bought up to the main roster? 9. Bill asks - What are your thoughts on Chyna being a former IC champion? 10. Thuganomics Tony asks - What was the first moment in wrestling history (that you witnessed on tv or live) made you go "i want to watch wrestling for the rest of my life"