Podcast appearances and mentions of patrick well

In this episode of Building Texas Business, I learned valuable lessons from Patrick Terry, founder of the popular Austin-based restaurant chain P Terry's Burger Stand. Patrick explains how the company's success has been centered around its commitment to natural ingredients, competitive pricing, and exceptional customer and employee care. We explored the challenges of maintaining price discipline amidst rising costs and inflation, including during the COVID-19 pandemic. Patrick also shared insights from his origin story, hiring practices that bring on passionate individuals, and the importance of company culture. He also touched on the strategic considerations that underpin P Terry's expansion plans into new markets like Houston and the employee support programs in place. SHOW HIGHLIGHTS I discussed the inception of P Terry's Burger Stand in 2005 with founder Patrick Terry, focusing on their strategy of using high-quality, natural ingredients at competitive prices to differentiate from fast food giants like McDonald's and Starbucks. Patrick emphasized the importance of customer feedback and employee well-being in ensuring operational efficiency and customer satisfaction, without relying heavily on marketing or advertising. We explored the challenges of maintaining pricing discipline amidst inflation and supply chain disruptions, particularly during the COVID-19 pandemic, and how P Terry's managed to outperform competitors with consistent pricing strategies. Patrick shared the origin story of P Terry's, highlighting their commitment to quality food and a strategic hiring process that prioritizes employees' passion for the restaurant business. The unique approach to food preparation at P Terry's through their own commissary was discussed, showcasing how it helps maintain quality and cost control, along with their plans for expansion into Houston. We delved into the significance of company culture and employee care, including P Terry's innovative non-interest loan program for staff in financial need, as a means to foster loyalty and engagement. Patrick recounted the emotional journey of running the business, his brief hiatus from leadership in 2019, and the decision to reengage with renewed vigor, underscoring the importance of leadership in maintaining company culture. The strategic expansion from Austin to San Antonio and the considerations involved, such as logistical feasibility and location selection based on cost and accessibility, were discussed. We highlighted the balance between choosing affordable locations and ensuring they are accessible to customers, using demographic trends and growth areas to inform business decisions. Patrick shared personal anecdotes, including his early entrepreneurial ventures and the cultural philosophy at P Terry's, emphasizing the importance of setting high standards and leading by example. LINKSShow Notes Previous Episodes About BoyarMiller About P.Terry's GUESTS Patrick TerryAbout Patrick TRANSCRIPT (AI transcript provided as supporting material and may contain errors) Chris: In this episode you will meet Patrick Terry, founder and owner of P Terry's Burger Stand. Patrick attributes the success of P Terry's to two fundamental strategies First, work hard and listen to your customer. And second, take care of your people and they will take care of your customer. Patrick, I want to thank you for coming on Texas building Texas business and it's just a pleasure to have you on as a guest. Patrick: Well, thanks, I'm honored to be here. I really am. Chris: So I think the first place to start is for you just to tell us, those that don't know of P Terry's, what is P Terry's and kind of. What are you known for? Patrick: Well, so my wife and I started P Terry's 2005. So we'll be celebrating our 20th anniversary next month, next year, and the idea behind it we sell we're a quick service hamburger stand, and the idea behind it was if we were going to compete with, you know, the giants in the industry the McDonald's and the Burger Kings and the Jack in the Boxes and the Chick-fil-A's you know everybody. You know we're going to have to find a way to be different and you know I talk about so often. People want to get into business and they find a retail store or a restaurant or a concept that they like and they go across the street and pretty much do the same thing as the guy that they liked. And when you do that, all you've done in a best case scenario, is you take half his business. It's pretty hard to take all of his business. If you're going to do the same thing, then you're going up against the fact that he's established. Clearly he's doing okay because you liked it and he's there. And so I think that's the biggest mistake new business owners and entrepreneurs make is they like a yogurt stand and they go across the street and they do the same yogurt stand. And so, all that said we were going to be different, and where we were going to be different was that we were going to offer the quality beef and the food that we serve is really that of an upscale restaurant, to be honest and we were going to do it through a drive-thru and a dine-in at a fast food restaurant, but we weren't. Because of that, we weren't, of course, able to charge any more than the fast food guy across the street, so what we were trying to do was make ourselves bulletproof. We were going to offer a quality product that you couldn't get at a fast food restaurant at a price that was the same as the guy across the street that wasn't serving that quality food. And obviously, if you're able to pull that off, it's a huge advantage. And by doing so what we did, we established right away that we were going to look for a fair profit, and that was what it was going to be. And so if I could sell an order of French fries and I might be able to get $2.50 for that order of French fries, I looked at the cost and I'm thinking well, actually, my overall cost of goods, I only have to sell those franchise at $2.15. We have very low overhead. We have a small office with a G&A under 6% and we work hard and we work smart and we don't spend money on marketing or advertising. We don't have that luxury. We don't pay, of course, any franchise fees because we own the business. And so we were able to pull it off. And so we serve a black Angus, all natural beef, and what that means is it's antibiotic free, it's hormone free, it's a vegetarian fed, it's a pure beef. I mean it really is a great product. We serve the same thing with a hormone-free chicken. And you know, our buns don't have high fructose corn syrup. Our potatoes come from Idaho and they're fresh and they're cooked in a canola oil which doesn't have any hydrogenated oils. I mean, we literally just went down the line and said, okay, this is what we're going to do. Now we're going to have to make it work and by keeping our costs down and, frankly, working really hard, really hard with a lot of smart people, we were able to pull it off. We opened up our 34th store two weeks ago in Cibolo, outside of San Antonio, and, as you know, we're on our way to Houston. We have our first Houston location in Richmond I believe it is in October, and we're going to have five. We plan for five Houston locations. One of the other things that we do that makes this unique is that we have our own commissary. We cook we do a lot of cooking and for our restaurants ourselves, so we bake our own banana bread, we bake our own cookies from scratch, we make our own veggie burgers from scratch. We take chicken breast all chicken breast, boneless, skinless breast and we actually grind it into a patty for a chicken burger and for our chicken bites. And all that's done in the commissary by our own staff. We share the offices, share a space with the commissary, and every morning three or four trucks go out and deliver that product to the stands, and so we're able to keep our costs down by doing that as well. We pretty much just take charge of everything we do, yeah and that's what separated us. Chris: Well, it sounds like what I'm hearing is a very focused, you know thought into what you wanted this business to be and I guess what you didn't want it to be. So you know what I heard you talk about is, you know, obviously very cost conscious, so that you could be profitable, but also singular, focused on this. You know premium quality food at a lower price point and you know really it sounds like in the beginning, very focused on what profit margins would look like, what your cost of goods would be. Before you even opened a store it seems like. Patrick: Yeah, and I don't want to make it sound like we're smarter than we are, because a lot of that stuff just you know fortunately just works itself out. Now where it got tricky is when COVID hit and the supply chain issues and the inflation that we've seen and where we've benefited from that is by having always done what we've done in the last 19 years and everyone's read about. You know the McDonald's Big Mac combo meal. It's for $16 in Idaho and you know McDonald's are great operators. So I got nothing bad to say. But every time you take a price increase if you're not looking over your shoulder when you do that if you're not conscious of? am I really doing everything I can before I go up on this price? Patrick: way I can make this a nickel instead of a diamond. Unless you've done that from the start, you find yourself taking price increases to cover up mistakes or issues of the day, and it becomes this band-aid that's very hard to take off, right. Chris: We've seen that in your industry right, where the classic pass it on to the consumer, and then in the fast food wars just over the recent months, the consumers rebelling. Patrick: Absolutely, absolutely. And so when you know Starbucks and McDonald's show, you know negative comp store sales, last quarter, for the first time since you know COVID hit, we were up 8% in our compor sales. And because, frankly, when you take our strategy and you stick with it and the hard part is sticking with it it's really easy to look around and go, man, that guy over there he's getting six bucks for that burger and I'm only getting five. I could probably go up a quarter and that's the illusion, right, you get into that game and there's a mind game and if you're able to keep pushing that off and, trust me, it's a hell of a lot easier going up a quarter. When you're able to pull that off, then you don't go down that rabbit hole and find yourself in a situation where so many of our competitors have found themselves. I mean, I look around and see what similar pricing is, I mean what similar menu items are and what the pricing of our competitors are, and I'm astounded. I mean there are some of our competitors are 20 percent higher than we are on their menu, and you know we're all serving food out of a drive-thru and so it's a dangerous game. It really is. And so I think that I think you've hit on it exactly the way it is, it's a discipline and it's every day. Chris: Yeah, well, that's what Jim Collins talks about in Good to Great. You know, discipline, people with disciplined thought and disciplined action is how you get from good to great. Yeah, so let me, let me take you back, cause I mean I love the thought that went into to the concept from the beginning, but what inspired you to, in 2005, open up a hamburger stand? Patrick: Well, thank you for asking. It's almost embarrassing, I apparently. When I finally did it, a score of my friends contacted me to remind me how much I had been boring them for so many years that I had always wanted to open up a hamburger stand. And do not ask me where that came from. I have no idea, other than to say that I love the idea of serving a hamburger, french fries and a milkshake. I just, I just think that's glorious and I know that's probably way over the top, but there's something so satisfying and it's probably because it's my favorite meal that I just can't get past it. So I had always wanted to do it and I had a particular location that I had in mind and I lost it five years earlier and it sat empty for five years and finally it became available, and so that's when we opened up at Lamar and Barton Springs in Austin. Chris: I love that. Well, I mean. So, like, like any good entrepreneur, in my view, you followed your passion, your favorite meal, something that you have a passion about doing. Patrick: Let me tell you, if you don't love this business, you better not get in it, because it is consuming, it's all consuming. And so you know I look around. When I used to, you know, when I would hire somebody, I would remind them that if they didn't really love the restaurant business or what we do every day, you are not going to be happy, and if you do love it, you're going to be very happy, because we're drinking out of a fire hose here pretty much every day. Chris: Let's talk a little bit about hiring, because I think that's really regardless of the industry, really regardless of the industry. I mean, companies are made of people and you've got to get the right people to help, you know, maybe bring your vision to light, your strategies to life. What have you done over the years to make sure that you are making that right hire decision? I assume it's evolved over time and I think there's at least a couple of pieces. I'd love to maybe hear how it was starting out, but oh, yeah, it was. I know that coming out of COVID it had to be even more challenging, because people wouldn't even come to work. Patrick: Right. Well, when we first opened, the first day we opened, my wife Kathy was there and she had no restaurant experience. I had some and I put her through it. It was. You know, it was very difficult, and she likes to tell the story that she looked around the very first day and realized that there was no way we were going to do this by ourselves. And so the first three years we were in the stands every day. I mean, I worked every day, morning to night, and by doing that I got to know, obviously, everything that it took to run the stand, every position. But I also got to see the people that were there and I was able to separate the ones that were working out and the ones that weren't. And I was not a good hire at first. There is this you know, boy, it's easy to take what you think is the simple route and just put a body in place and, man, if it's the wrong body, everyone's miserable, and so it took me a while. I just had a certain, but I was not going to give in. I had a certain level of employee or stand or team member that I was, that I had envisioned, and so I wasn't going to lower the bar. And so the first three years were really difficult because a lot of people you bring in had other unfortunately had other fast food experience and they brought a lot of bad habits with them. And so you know, it's one of those deals when you hire somebody, frankly, they either have to be scared of you or they have to like you, and I'm not the guy that they're going to be scared of. That's just not the role I want to play. It's not the business I want to run. We're not always going to agree, but my hope is that we like and respect each other and respect each other. The other thing is what we learned being there every day is we learned so? Many of our employees' lives are completely different than mine. You know I've been around for a long time. I had some money in the bank. You know I had a college education, I had a career before this, so it's really easy to live in your bubble and not recognize it, and so I tell this story a lot. We had an employee, vinny and this was 18 years ago and, by the way, I'm proud to say Vinny still works for us, as do a lot of those people in those first few years. They're still with us and Vinny's truck broke down and I had worked all day and I didn't want to do his job that night, so I convinced him just to get in a cab and I would pay for the cab. And then when Vinny got there, I said what's going on with the truck? And he said well, it's going to cost $150 to get fixed and I don't have $150. So I handed him $150 and I said pay me when you can, because I need you here and I need your truck fixed Now if I'm in a corporate office, then he probably loses his job because he didn't show up. Right, right, I don't answer the phone, we don't have that conversation. So then I've lost an employee that I've had for 18 years. But, more importantly, I understand the position they're in, and so the very first thing we did from that is we created a non-interest loan program for all of our employees. So if you walk in to my office right now or you don't even have to do that you tell your manager, and the manager is going to make a phone call and you say I'm behind in my rent or I have a, you know, whatever it is, you're going to get a loan, and if it's under, if it's five hundred dollars or under, we don't even ask, we just you get it. If it's more than that, we want to know what's going on, you know. And so what we did is we made hiring easier. This is a really hard thing to do every day. The last thing I need to do is make it more difficult. So so we started by taking care of our people better than most, and they told their friends, they told their relatives, and so they understood that this is a two-way street and I'm going to take care of you, but you have to take care of me and, of course, the way you take care of me is you take care of the customer. Advert: Hello friends, this is Chris Hanslick, your Building Texas business host. Did you know that Boyer Miller, the producer of this podcast, is a business law firm that works with entrepreneurs, corporations and business leaders? Our team of attorneys serve as strategic partners to businesses by providing legal guidance to organizations of all sizes. Get to know the firm at boyMillercom. And thanks for listening to the show. Chris: That's great. I mean the idea and I think it's true in any organization. If the people that work for you think that you genuinely care about them as a person, not just that they get the job done, you're going to create loyalty and engagement with that employee. Naturally, hearing your story leads me to the question about culture. Let's talk about that. How would you describe the culture at P Terry's? Obviously, the fundamental philosophy you just described, I would assume, is some of the foundational elements of the culture that you're trying to build or have built. So what can you share about that? Patrick: Well, I'll tell you the obvious. You and your listeners already know this culture is the most important thing. There's nothing even close to second when it comes to running your business. The culture that you establish speaks for who you are, not only to your employees, but to your customers. Speaks for who you are, not only to your employees, but to your customers. There's nothing more important. I can't even think of number two. I'll tell you an interesting story very quickly. I hope it's real. I had a person call me and want to visit with me about the business, and they had a very successful online clothing company and they were about to open up stores for the first time. Everything they had always sold was online, and he asked me what it took to open the store and take care of the employees for the very first time. Right, this is all of a sudden. It's not a click, it's a conversation, and I probably talked for 15 or 20 minutes about everything we do every day for our employees. I thought I really thought his head was going to explode. I mean, he. It was so beyond the realm for him. And I get it right. This is like, and what I was trying to explain to him was you're, you may be selling the same item, but you've got an entirely different business model now. I mean, now you have, for the very first time, you have a person representing you selling that product to someone. And boy, you better get that right. And so that's really what it boils down to is understanding what we do every day and what our people do, and the culture has to be led by me. You know, I read a great line a couple of weeks ago. Somebody said to the person running the company, what's your job? And he said my job is to be right. And so when you accept that as your job and, by the way, I don't do it by myself, oh my Lord, not even close right, I mean, I've got all. I got these people around me that are just terrific, and but I certainly go to them and we certainly talk about everything. But the first thing that this has to be established is I'm here and I answer my phone and if, if you're in the hospital, I need to be there and make sure everything's okay. If you have a family member that has an issue, if there's something I can do, I got to do it. And then you have to understand everyone has to understand that there's a bar set and no one goes below the bar, and I can never go below the bar, obviously, and so it's really for me and for P Terry's, it's really by example, and if you know, dogs and kids can spot a phony a mile away. And so if you're not sincere in what you're trying to do and what you believe in and I've had some people that work for me that I could tell immediately you know you're faking it and you know you just don't feel the same way the rest of us do, and nobody wants to be in that position. So you're not happy here and I'm not happy with you here, so let's just shake hands and walk away from each other. So there's a lot of that going on, but the culture and what we do every day, the first thing we do is we just take care of our people and then we count on them to take care of the customer. Chris: Yeah, Some of what you're saying there I've heard others speak to. We certainly have that philosophy here in the business we run in this firm and that is we say we hire and fire from culture. Right, you have to know what the culture is. You have to look for the people the best you can through interview processes and hire from culture. More importantly, when you figure out someone's, you know you set the standard and you can't go below it. But if you see someone that's consistently going below it or faking it, then you've got to move fast and they need to be out of the organization. And it doesn't have to be harsh to your point. Chris: They're not happy, no one's happy. They're going to be happier somewhere else that has a different set of standards that connect with them. But you've established your standards. You've tied behavior that you can demonstrate is consistent with that that comes from the top down, and then everyone can be on the same page. Patrick: And it has to be. It's almost like, you know, being in the middle of an orchestra. You know we're all playing the song and we've all got a part to play, and if one of us, you know, drops the violin, it's not going to feel sound the same. Yeah, so true. Chris: So you know, reading up on, you know the goings on at P Terry's. I want to kind of turn the conversation a little bit to the last maybe I guess it's been four or five years you did something that is not easy for a founder to do in 2019. You decided to step down as CEO of you know, your proverbial baby let's talk about that. Obviously not the first time an entrepreneur has done that and kind of handed reins over. What led to that decision and how was it for you to kind of transition out of the CEO role? Patrick: Well, if it's okay, I want to step back a couple more years before that and talk about something that it really doesn't make the papers very often. That, and talk about something that it really doesn't make the papers very often. We had at one point I had just kind of hit a wall. I was exhausted. I was working with a kind of a person that I had next to me that was, you know, my right hand man. It was just it was. We had been going at such a pace for so long. You know, my wife and I have funded, had funded this business all by ourselves. The entire time we borrowed money but we didn't have any other investors, so everything kind of fell on us every day and the idea came up that maybe we should sell because this is just exhausting. And we did a dog and pony show and had a half a dozen legitimate buyers and we got a wonderful offer. You know, as I said to the person when I turned him down, you offered me enough money to go live on an island and I've got two little girls. I don't get to live on an island even if I wanted to. So I appreciate the offer very much and I think what I was doing when I did it, and it was sincere, I wasn't trying to waste anybody's time. But I think after the offer came in and my wife and I both agreed that we didn't want to do that. This is not how we wanted our legacy to end. I think I was looking for validation. I had never been validated for the work I had done, other than you know that the we were allowed to expand. Our business was good, our customers were very appreciative, but from an industry standpoint, I didn't know what we had created. I really didn't. I'm not the guy that I'm terrible at networking. I don't go to. I don't go to meetings, I don't go to conventions, I just I really it's not my deal, I really just work. And so I got that validation and then I made a decision that the next decision we made was do we want to leave Central Texas? You know the Austin area, and I had never done that. And so I thought well, I got some great advice one time that I don't want to learn something that somebody else has already learned, that I don't want to learn something that somebody else has already learned, and so I chose to bring somebody in with the experience of having done that, and Todd came in. Todd Korver came in. He had a great resume, same moral compass that we have here, a really good guy. And what I was finding was that, no matter what, I'm still here, and there are certain things that I'm just comfortable with, that, if I'm going to be alive and still owning the business, that it's important to me that we do every day. And so it wasn't that Todd did a bad job. It's just that I looked around and said, you know, there's stuff going on that I think we can do a little differently. Maybe we can do it better. I don't know, because I don't have all the answers, but I think I'm more comfortable in the front seat than I am in the back. The departure was amicable, he's a good guy. He's got a great job here in Austin. He's going to do very well there. But I just found that if I'm going to be in the office every day, you know I might as well do what I really want to do, and so that led to me coming back, and so, you know, I think it also gave me a new energy that I hadn't had because Todd did some heavy lifting for four years, and so we kind of have come back with the vengeance. We got the idea four days after Christmas that maybe we should really take a serious look at serving chicken bites. We compete against everybody in the business and Chick-fil-A is, you know, the leader, and so a lot of our customers had told us hey, the only fight in our family. You know, my kid wants a chicken bite at Chick-fil-A and I want a hamburger or a chicken burger from P Terry's. And so, you know, the 29th of December we had this conversation and the 16th of March they were for sale in our stores. We made them out of our own kitchen and we created them and, you know, worked on sauces and stuff, and so we've really been going very fast at that. But that you know, and I found that I'm just much more happier if I'm going to, if I'm going to be around, if it's going to still be my company. I'm just happier being the guy that's running it. Chris: I understand. Well, it had to be difficult, especially so it sounds like you stepped out of the CEO seat but stayed, I guess, involved in the company. That had to be challenging, right, it was one thing if you kind of, like you said, go to some Island or just complete a separate business, but and I, you know, I did my best. Patrick: I didn't think it was fair to, you know, be in Todd's office every day pounding the desk, going why aren't we doing this, why can't you do this? I, you know, I let him run the company because that was the only fair thing to do, but I was in the office next door and so you know, you're right, I'm not on an island and so, yeah, at some point it just was like easier for me just to do it. Chris: So let's let's talk a little bit about the expansion. You mentioned that you had expanded beyond kind of the Austin area into kind of San Antonio. You just mentioned a store in that area your plans to come to Houston you mentioned just a minute ago, and ultimately five stores, what? I want to talk about maybe have you share, is kind of what goes into that thinking of the strategy, of when it's right to kind of take those steps which I would assume are, you know, somewhat trepidatious. Patrick: Yo, absolutely, and what we found is that we were interested to see in the challenge. Absolutely, and what we found is that we were interested to see in the challenge. And you know we really had established ourselves in central Texas. We have a lot of stores here, you know we're. I mean I have there's Lamar Boulevard in Austin. I have three stores on Lamar Boulevard, you know, and about three miles apart. So we're pretty inundated and I just wanted to see, I believe that our concept traveled outside of Austin. I believe that our concept really works most places and I wanted to see what we could do. And so San Antonio made the most sense because of our commissary and our delivery, so we can be in San Antonio in just over an hour. And that made it. And, by the way, we just went down, you know, i-35 and we opened a store in Kyle and one in San Marcus and one in New Braunfels and then into San Antonio and so so from a logistics standpoint it made sense, but it was really kind of a challenge. Now, I don't, you know, there is something I truly believe in and you know I have to tell you real quickly, I spoke at a UT, at the MBA program, one time it was a wonderful class, and the professor called me after the class and he said I got to tell you the students loved it and I thank you for coming. And I said well, I appreciate that. And he said but I got to tell you I'm probably not going to be inviting you back. And I said totally fine, can you ask, can you tell me why? And he said well, there's nowhere on the syllabus that just says work hard and listen to your customers. And I said okay, well, I get it, cause that's, frankly, all I know to do, to the God's honest truth is that's all I need, that's all I know what to do. And so you know we take. What I was getting to is, at some point you take a leap of faith and you've listened to the people around you and at some point, obviously, you're the one that has to make the final decision. And then you, just you know, you trust your experience over all these years and you know you make the jump. You just make the jump. Chris: So I guess just you know, since I live in Houston, what was it about Houston that makes you think that you know again the concept travels? Why the first location in Richmond? What are some of the things there that you know, you and your team see and are excited about that you and your team see and are excited about. Patrick: So we picked that part of Houston because we could drive from Austin again for our commissary until at some point we will hopefully have a satellite commissary in Houston. But a lot of it is the loops are of interest. There's a lot of growth there, there's a lot of room for expansion and, frankly, when you get in the middle of all of your fair city it gets very expensive. So you kind of go to the loops because the land is cheaper and the leases are cheaper. So there's definitely some of that. I'm just being very honest about it. I mean, there's some great locations but I can't spend $300,000 a year on a ground lease, you know it doesn't, I think it's a well. Chris: the transparency is what we're after here, and I think, again, kind of for a listener to go look, you may have some great ideas, but be smart about that expansion. It goes back to the first thing you said. You've been mindful in this business of controlling cost, and obviously I can speak to it. You're picking locations where the population's growing, so that's not a bad thing either. Right, your demographics must line up with the things that you know makes a store successful. Patrick: And at the same time and I've got a competitor across the street from me, across the highway from me, in San Marcos, and you know he picked a really bad location and my assumption is he picked it because it was cheap. So you know there's a balance here, right? You know you got the land for $60,000 a year and the reason is because nobody can get to it, so you got to be careful about that. You know, I had a friend of mine come to me. He and his wife came to me years ago and said I think we're going to get into the restaurant business. And I said why? And he said, well, we're going to sell, I think we're going to sell sandwiches. And I said what are you going to do that? And he said, well, people have to eat. And I said yeah, but they don't have to eat at your restaurant. And unfortunately, you know there is. You know, you just have to look at this stuff so realistically. And that balance of, yeah, I'd love to be in that location, but it's a wonderful location, but it costs me so much. All I'm going to do is sell burgers and, you know, not make any money, that's right, I get to pay the landlord to sell burgers, right? Yeah, that's exactly what it is. That boy, that's a tough. That's a tough way to spend your day. Chris: Well, patrick, thank you so much for sharing the story and the ups and downs, but I'm looking forward to having a burger once you get here you said you did it in Austin, obviously, and it is as good as you described. I want to turn a little bit to just a little personal side of things. Obviously, you've said a couple of times you just know how to work hard. What was your first job, even as a kid? Patrick: So I had a lemonade, a Kool-Aid, stand in front of my, in front of our house I was probably five or six and my dad was, and my parents were always there and always had suggestions and my dad came up to me and he said you need to put the because we lived in West Texas. I grew up in Abilene and you think your summers are hot, so my dad said you need to put the temperature on the. On your poster and and I said so I wrote it's 102, kool-aid, five cents. And you know the car stopped and it was such a great idea and so I always had that influence. I said that was my probably my first inroad. I remember in seventh grade I started selling candy bars there was no you know, costco or Walmart or anything back then or Sam's to the grocery store and buy a little six-pack of Hershey's. My mom would go and take me and I started selling so many candy bars at the 10.30 break that I was messing up the senior store at noon and the superintendent called me in and told me to stop. So that's funny, all right. Chris: So this is a question I ask everyone, and I'm incredibly intrigued to get your answer, because you're the self-described hamburger guy. Right, I got to know do you prefer Tex-Mex or barbecue? Patrick: Oh, I'll go to Tex-Mex all day, okay. Chris: I'll go to Tex-Mex. Patrick: And I love barbecue, don't get me wrong. But I got to tell you if I can have chicken enchiladas with the verde sauce and a side of rice and beans. I am doing just fine. Chris: Okay, so it's your second favorite meal. Patrick: it sounds like yeah, absolutely, my poor children. I'll tell you this real quick. I know you want to wind it down. My daughter is 16 now and when she was 10, she went on a water ski camp and she spent the day. And she got in the car and she said I said what'd you have for lunch? And she said they served these submarine sandwiches. And I said, oh, what'd you get? And she said a meatball sandwich. And I said, oh, that's great. And I said you don't seem like you're in a good mood. And she said I didn't know those existed because my poor children eat P Terry's every day. So that's, you know, that's it's a family deal. I love it. Chris: It reminds me of the story of you know, it was in a movie a while back right when the parents try to tell convince the kids that yogurt was vanilla ice cream exactly. Patrick, thanks again. Really enjoyed meeting you and hearing your story. Congratulations on the success and best of luck as you expand and move into the Houston market. Patrick: I appreciate it Well. I'd love to meet you one day and grab a burger. Chris: Let's do it, in fact, let's stay in touch on when that Richmond store is open, and I'll be there. Patrick: Absolutely, absolutely, and I'll even buy. Chris: What do you think? That's a heck of a deal. Very good, well, thanks again. Patrick: Thank you, I enjoyed it very much.

Now my days are shattered My heart is scattered Around down, Fowl feathers of the night owl Dancing in my head In given nightgowns Right now Put the candle out Put the light on Every night, I'm gone Wandering around In the eye of the camera, My orb Falcon turned to black panther I prance around in a dance robe Like a disaster Put it out there, Just so I can't go back Pass the cake Pass the butter Pass the late night hatred Pass away the day praying For the faithless And their fake friends, but I digress Once the cameras are rolling A job's to be done For the funny men of us Are undercover Dressing up the dead And most disgusting sinister The winded wonder bread apostles I am a robot god I am born again in acid rain Something changed me Here's to the late night I hope he hates me —I hope I'm right, at least I hate being right— But I'm always right. Right hand over my bathroom counter Stacked up attacks on the Muslims But I love em Or I want to Hot tub The doctor Don't worry, loser Viewerships down to two downloads According to the numbers My demographic is faggots and players of forenig I have a habit for magic Addiction to alphas, You know? I'm a God I'm a robot I was washed in the acid rain —- Take the back of my neck like an animal Yes sir Put my hair in your hands Pull me back, Like an animal Up the ante Up in the air is my ass In a past life I had to have you Now I stand I higher grounds I'm higher now Coming up next A deeper addiction Coming up next A deeper dicking John Wiccan Coming up next Change the channel, coming over Move em up The winners circle Then move over. I lit a candle for another lover A real one , With a body and mind The tide of my soul wants to know you Behold, way below deck Deep dick Imm in deep shit now Way below the belt Blow all my hole on the dope fiend Do you want to know me A piñata full of chocolate Ive got a new list And you're not on it Aagain with this Again with the What's in my head It's a letter said Never forget this Forget this Forget this Tell me how to be like this To get a man like that To get a real deep dick That's way below deck I should settle for less Just to get my head better Some medical man Or some meth Just to finish this project I could protect a protector with holes in his pockets, The proctor The trophy, Two daughters And another one Here's goes the show I'm way too old for this I just need one good Fred Again Who knows how to hide he's a man But conspired Admirers, You know what it is? A deep dick, man Way, below deck Way below the belt Get ahold of him Ring the phone again I been calling on Collin Coleen is more polished It's brother sister sameness, Same mess for the colonizer White on white is Right on right I'm just behind you Way under the bridge Belt around my head to make it better I'll see you in heaven Out of Manhattan Where trash is the precipice Never better Bodies in perfection Where it went And where it goes again I'll see you then So apparently— Shh Wrong document great! Now we gotta figure out why apparently— [JENNIFER ANNISTON has a vendetta against JIMMY FALLON] What. For WHAT?! Idk, what did you do to this bitch? What did I say?! What did you do?! JENNIFER ANNISTON I'm not finished with you, yet! WHAT? I don't know. Apparently, Goddammit. Wait. What. So he's a genius, right? Yeah, I guess. Which means he's like—socially inept in some kind of way…. Yeah! Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Flashback: Like: the 90's, or whatever. …are you turning me down? Wait. So I just shapeshifted into J-Lo Before. Hello. hello: Yeah. We could have done it. Ew. But we didn't. Ew. I mean: Cut back to: Nobody turns me down! Not even me! Alright. There's something off about that dude. Maybe he's gay… Hm. He not gay. He very not gay. Hm. See, I knew it. He's a good guy! [REDACTED] He's a MONSTER! He's an ANIMAL. WOOOOOOOOOOF . Oh man, that guy is a WOOF. I'm a DOG. Skrillex? I'm a dog Heeeeeeeeeeee Baby Heeeeeeeeee Damn, this fools got a whole list of celebrity ass bitches —a list celebrity. CUT BACK TO I'M SUPER HOT. Hmhm. I know. Listen. Okay, Jennifer Aniston. Are you trying to fuck Jimmy Fallon?! NO! Okay, good. God no. That's— Wait, why NOT?! —I need way more than a million dollars. I knew it! It's about the money. It's actually not about the money. Wait, no, it's not? No. …then what is it? Yo. Okay, so Everybody likes his genetics. And I mean like FUCK IT, I WANT HIM. This one. I want this one! Right here. ICE CREAM. GET YOUR ICE CREAM. Okay, imm not supposed to tell you this but— What. I'm— JOHNNY CARSON LOOK AT ME. Ah, well, alright TAG, YOURE IT. DAMN, you're good. Okay, I'm stoned. Damn. I got a boner. Cool. JLO look at me . I see you. You do see me. You know why? …yes. I am a-list. I get that. That's priority level ho status. Uhhh—- Ben affleck. That's real?! Some other guy— This guy. Wait, But that Fallon motherfucker?! [Redacted] He turned me down! Hey, so, uh— No thanks. WHAT. *shrugs. * BITCH. Look, okay, I'm not touching this. Why NOT, His WIFE is CUTE. Dawwwe. Gangsta. Oh, no, you know what?! What? You're gonna write this— And you're gonna like it. Pass. PASS?! Yes. I am not going to attack Fallon. ATTACK. THINK OF THE KIDZZZZZZ. That is a nice midlife crisis. Yikes. Aaaaaahhh. Wow. What happened. I shifted Fallon. And then wa— I think I died. I'm dying. I'm dying. You're probably right. My right to write this Is your right to remain a public figure For this cyclical fan fiction I suck dicks for a living And inhale tlevision Schizophrenic sickness Illuminati, predictive Programmings I'm so spamming These hoes Hoping I slit writsts (Only my own though) So Most of the late night guys are Conviniently enough Irish In some way or another Probably because Predictive programming targets the demographic of Somewhat You know what?! Nevermind, I'm not writing this. I get it though. I think they're hiding something. Are you sure he's not even just a little Asian. Positive. Or like, adopted. No. Are you sure? I mean, for the the most part— They would never allow a— I mean— Just water it down host by host, Until the racists are too old To care who replaces him. Shiny. He is shiny. Yeah, um— Let's just face it; Either this dude Is the most perfect man ever Or he's secretly getting laid every week. What's so secret about None of these things. [redacted] Look, there's nothing protecting me from a malicious system, there's nothing protecting you from me writing about you; But hey, at least I'm staying away from The Rock For my own sake This equinox doesn't even have fucking free weights What the fuck! I need a break, What does that mean? The entertainment industry's been Using me for years At some point realizing My infinite creativity Comes from my Inability to have Actually Every really been Loved So. So. No love, then. Seems like it. What about these? Look. I like WHITE DUDES. WHIIIIIIITE. Not brown Not black Not slanted Not Asian, really? UGH. The only reason— —well, not the only reason— I even hated him in the first place is because he WAS so attractive He's breaking 4th wall! Again! Quit breaking character! I am. Stop it. Fuck you, Fallon. —that he just seemed like a douchebag. —is a douchbag! Always trust your gut. There's nothing—and I mean NOTHING that would make me pull up an episode of SNL with fucking FALLON in it. FUCKING FALLON! GODDAMMIT, Dude, let's just think back to a time before OOH. COLORS. THE COLORS. OH. FUCK. Yo dude. Fallon just kind of— Was everywhere for awhile, wasn't he? Yeah..: Yeah. For like, no reason. No reason at all. Yeah. He was just Everywhere I went Everything I saw On everywhere I was GODDAMMIT, For like FIVE YEARS, bro. That's nuts. This is nuts. This is famous. W What. How did he get that famous? Let me in. No, LET ME IN. NO. LET ME OUT. Can't. LET ME OUT OR I'll KILL YOU. Kill me. I don't care. What: I think I scared that man. He had a knife to my throat, and I thought I was done for; I might as well have been. I was homeless, penniless, trapped in North Carolina with nothing at all, no phone, and nobody at all that knew where I was. Nobody at all. I looked him in the eye, Dead on And I told him “Just do it.” Now tell me again what's wrong with me. I— Right. Stay in your lane. Wear your little blue fucking suit, your dress shoes, smile for the camera— And shut the fuck up. Cause if anybody's gonna kill me— It's gonna be me. N sync, it's gonna be me. GODDAMMIT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. NOT NOW. Why not WE'RE HAVING A MOMENT No, we are not. Take it away, boys. So you wouldn't date— After Britney, bro? Awhs. Even if he wasn't married, I was too young for him—but not really— Something in me met in the middle and collided for my attribution to mora decency as if it were anything more than a plot line bustling in my head; and even that was arousing—Patrick and Esha were lovers, so passionate an star crossed that it was hard not to imagine them as I had first saw them//as us, but in a different world, a different lifetime; a love drawn so shaken with a kiss that shattered me, with visions of grief ingrained in my mortal being, and though somewhere he, this Fallon had captured my heart, these were all just actors, mere players upon a stage in which I had no business being on, or searching for; the whole world was in my head. Fuck it, I'm useless. I'm going go back to being useless, then. An idling motif at the end of the block reminded me, I would never be safe or loved again. This was the end of days, and the end of my days, and I only hoped to one day soon be relieved of life itself… [Tales of a Superstar DJ] Once Prosperous to throw the stone asunder Glisten whispers of water Tears of all tears Of time to the altar, For follow for fellow– A felon of antigone, Grace, with shed a tattered tail o flew with feathered Phonix hath feared, forshadowed not, agreed upon, Hoever was, the velvet woven path of us, So honored in her fortress of the trees electromagnetisim robot - mitzvah -31. [As Seen on TV] Stage 9 - Married with Children, I thnk synonyms - a- side antonyms - (B-side) whoever Lentiles Anaheim Peppers Beets “Neo House” For what a withered want would call An honor fortunes fure, gloridied wherein in shadows ast upo flfetions the recate encantment foreward come the One who waits Believing darkness his fate Thank you God, I love you -Blū. DANE COOK Arrives RIGHT ON TIME WTF is THIS. AGAIN. Oh–NO. AM I IN A MOVIE? Ahem… Amen. ILLUMMIIINNAAAAAATTTTTIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!! (lol) JOHNNY DEPP I had the most terrible dream this morning HEWEY LEWIS (reading the news) What was it? [LEWIS + CLARK] [copy + paste] JOHNNY DEPP (CONT'D) I was just HEWEY LEWIS ? JOHNNY DEPP –very– briefly– HEWEY LEWIS Spit it out. JOHNNY DEPP Sober. [beat] HEWEY LEWIS Is that it? JOHNNY DEPP (shrugging, wide-eyed) **face ** Look kid, shit or get off the pot! Not on purpose… But with (always with) GOD You know why I love mormons? Cause the fake straight marriages in the alligience of procreation. That's it. That's amazing, though. To be entirely homosexual–and still marry a member of the opposite sex Just to have kids! WHAT? That's incredible. [The TV People] Katherine Learns of PAt's indedelity and stays quiet about it; She then seduces Paul Peters, and later admits this to Patrick out of guilt. Patrick then uses his pull within the network to have Pau drugged during a large banquet, forcing him to retire to his suite at the hotel early–Patrick then seduces his wife, Linda. Upon leaving the tryst, then run into Paul and Linda's 30-year-old daighter–Linda hurriedly covers for their being seen together, and Patrick uses this as a means to unassumingly seduce her daughter approaching her after the banquet and romancing her quietly, after which his seduction of her is successful, she mentions that her younger sister has always been a huge fan of his, and that she'll be iin town for the weekend–he then uses this information to seduce her younger sister, allowing the older of the two daughters to find out–they begin arguing, and as Linda passes by she overhears the two arguing, angry with Patrick for having decieved her and seducing all three women in the family–Humiliated, She lashes out at Patrick by outinng her daughters to her husband; Confused and realizing that his sudden illness at the banquet was probabl caused by Patrick all along, he begins to panic, going into an acute cardiac arrest and clutching his chest in pain as the result of this quite literal heart attack; He realizes that her obvious anger at the suface is due to the hidden truth that she, too, has been seduced by Patrick; He loses conciousness, and is rushed away to the hospital, his daighters and wife still bickering, but rescued at the very last moment by his youngest, his son Jasper. Later, Patrick visits him in the hospital with ample blackmail and an agreeement, which includes his resignation letter from the company, as a forfiture of his association with The Network, and numerous non-disclosures. He agrees, realizing Patrick's power and pull within The Network is a threat to his life, and family. Patrick's remaining love and trust for Katherine diminishes, and his affairs become less meaningless, as he begins seeking bonds and partnerships outside of his marriage, however maintaining his composure, and even accepting Katherin's pleas for forgiveness. Nobody wants to touch this project. –well, wy not? Because, she's dangerous! –there's blood all over this! –it's cursed blood. the oath (that guy, from 30 rock) Jay something– i think (he plays josh) I'll write it. The omen. the sacrifice. It's over. Don't do this, Jim I have to! It's my only way out of this. You have my eyes on. Why Because. I probably like them, or something. That's my song. And that's my son. All my crosses John Paul “For The Birds” 30 ____ What happened? IT just turned off Turn it ON. We can't! Jesus took the wheel. On all m crosses On all my stars On all my curses On all my Gods Erase M Hexes Remove My Bonds Return my Love Protect My Rick -The God of the Rck. -The Walk from The Plaza A Novel It was a long walk back to Boston Buut the long journey Had just begun [This is The Hook] I'm dead. Well, i'm a monster. THE LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS, I I am PEACE I am LOVE ‘The Pentacles” by The Ace of Wands Contrary to its name, this ritual, dressed as a pelll, adresses to reverse to debilitating effects of a malpracticians curse of black magic, witchcraft, altered Shamanism (to kill or harm rather than to heal), Voodoo, Hexes, Curses, bindings, demonology and Chaos MAgic, or ay magic and or magick with ill intentioned power harmful to the enchaned which may damage them for any given cause with negative effects, or intention. This ritual uses 9 Candles, and is meant to reverse all toxic presenses, repel vilont and putried energies and/or enemies, vanish demons and negative or unwanted lower vibrational energies and dimisih the sender of all harmful intentions of his or her will to hurt, creae gain from the persecution of his or her target, enemy, or subjet, stripping the attacker or abuser of ther power to create, alter or perform all magical tasks, enter higher realms of consiousness, or to make or create energetic bonds, essentially stripping this person (the attacker or abuser) o their ability to further practive any skill or artform within the occult sciences or magical realms; Therefore expelling this evil from any of its intended pathways, and returning it t it's sender, the attacker r abuseer, dismantling the intentions set by the malpracticioner of such, for the harm placed onto its target to amplify, not in retalalitation, however, but as a reflection and concloerate of energy as it will continue to grow in it's path back to the original sender, therefore the ill intention, pain, and or death caused by the misuse or malpractition of such magic immorally or otherwise. This ritual restores it's practitione' ability and will to love beyond boundary, bondage, or servitude within any and all realms, and will remder the original attacker, abuser, or enemy thereby unamee , out of focus, and bonded eternally to the mortal realms; Immortality becomes hereby unattainable, and this evil energy is therefore never to be recycled. All posessions, beings, and objects encanted with this evil spirit or energy are then returned to their normal state. ENLIGHTENMENT All demons used to carry out specific tasks and demolisions within the attacker's amnifestation of evil intention are therefore destroyed; All energies used to dismantle and harm can no longer remain intact, and any residual energy amplified may only hurt, harm, or kill the original attacker. This ritual need not be repeated, as it is set with intention in the assertation of positivity and higher coniousness, to ward off all evil, whether magical or sociao-ppolitical, humanitarian, or otherwise–the intentional creation of harm or heard to another by deadly or harmful force returnsto the attacker, the amplification imminent, not amplified by the spell or ritual it'self, but the energy's velocity within the distance at which it must return to it's sender–the attacker, or abuser. (The hatred and damage will richochet.) Set your true and humble intentions with ink onto pape fold thrice, ad place in the center of your altar. Seal a circle of protetion with your desired symbol or sigil for protection, or multiple of your choosing. Carve your markers with positive, loving intentions. Do not use negative energy to encant your markers or candles. ENCANTMENT: OPEN MY EYES SO THAT I MAY SEE YOU OPEN MY MIND SO THAT I MAY KNOW YOU OPEN MY HEART, SO THAT I BECOME YOU LOVE RELEASE ME FROM ALL HARMFUL TIES THAT BIND STO SEEK TRUTH BEYOND LIGHT SO THAT I MAY BECOME AND RISE ABOVE ALL THAT IS KNOWN TO BEGIN AGAIn WHICH YET UNKNOWN AMEN (AND SO I AM ; SO MOTE IT BE, AND SO IT IS [EBCGABGN+TNEBT =] I'mma just leave that there, but what I meant to say was ENCHANTMENT Which is the adult sequel to ENCHANTED. Which i'm pretty sure was Disney, So idk how to get away with that at all. TINA FEY What's this space. The blackbox. nice . Ca-ching! I got my eye on you (Ū) My ion You are in my eyes You are in my light You are in my life The star that shines, For a reason recently At any given time Day or night Rain or shine [Protective Action Sequence Initiated] I did NOT “OOPS” 3 times! And I only purpled once! LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS, RItual II “Provocotive Nonchalonce” Lol “Nonchaloncé” I love her so much. This ritual/spell shields its castig agent with a seal of positive enlightenment, guarded by truth, tranquility, peace, and light–this rtua will remove any and all intended negative incantations, repels unwanted entitites, negativity, and evil spirits, and reverses any intention of harm, hatred, punishment, or intent to kill or control in any way its caster or practitioner. This frees the performer of the preformer of this ritual from harm, and places the vibration of the practiontioner above any harmful vibrational voids, disturbances toxicity, pain, foul play, and out of the reach o any and all of thosse who intent, which, think, gain value from, and;or speak, write, or percieve back liuck, ill will, inequality, unjust actions against, or the pollution of energy., take action toward intrusive thought, or psychick attack; This shielf also protets rom misuse of the given name, attack on the soi or spirit, and will dismantle thoghts, wods, and actions taken against the joyful and wtf PAIGE THE PAGE wtf is this KENNETH LIZ LEMON KENNETH put you up to this, didn't he?! He didn't! He didn't! –peaceful, enjyable fufullment of one's hopes, dreams, positive energy, prpose, and dutie, with respect to its practitioner as a ritual protection, for great abundance in all things one wishes to achieve in waking life, and ties beyond the boundaries of all realms and dimensions, concious and unsoncious* lol Unconcious! COME! I'm guessing it's just UNSONICIOUS. [defintiion: soncially unpleasant, in some or any way] Wow, the greeks again. I guess. –Consious and unconsious– LEO DICAPRIO MATT DAMON [ENTER THROUGH THE EXIT] {Enter The multiverse} Welcome to New York! lol the entrance IS the exit R e v o l v e r We gotta get back there! Yes. But first ALI You must see this. JET You must to see this, to. MATT DAMON goes to BELLA PIZZA in the small and desolate truck-stop interstate town of MESQUITE, NEVADA PIZZA PORTAL I went from DKNY To BKNY b2K can kills my JZ ENVY my IVY league Sen PAI SEND PIE For this guy, please! He just did THinking to get This high Ride This bike Right to sleep Try this Cry-CyLCLE Keep writing –infinite, to reate an aura of sety withinon'e energetic field, at any given time. Place your altar as such NORTH WEST EAST SOUTH FOR ALL THAT EXISTS WITHIN REACH OF MY EYES AND EARS AND SO WITHIN, LIES MY BODY AND SOUL, LET ONLY THERE BE PEACE, LOVE TRANQUIITY, RESPECT, HOPE, HAPINESS, JOY, AND GREAT STRENGTH, SO THAT ALL I AM AND ALL I FIND IS BEAUTY, ART, SUCCESS, ABUNDANCE, WEALTH, FAITH, HEALTH, AND LIGHT, SO THAT ALL THE WORLD IS TO BE GREATER MADE FROM MY PRESENCE, WHICH WILL PASS INFINITEL THROUGHOUT ALL THAT I AM, ALL THAT I DO, AND ALL THAT I MAKE, AND ALL THAT I BECOME, A BEACON OF LOE AND LAUGTER,CREATION, AND EVOLUTION, THROUGHOUT ALL PLACES I INHABIT, AND ALL THINGS WHICH INHABIT TO EXIST THROUGH ME. AMEN (So mote it be) [and so it is done] WITH THANKS, I AM. Synthetic kick bass snare stick hit hard 963hz – 96.5hz Apache –Fuck Boy Got the whole squad doing whoop-whoops That's a good job, But i fucked up nah Gotta be a Rockstar I'm a God, God! deng Miley, What the fuck. wurly (durly) piano. Piano Chorch Chop2 Paradise. Feel like i”m winning a race ya ! I should go buy a race car pencil , no pen I'll erase ya my niggaz is fighting a race war sorry ! (Not) you started it (hah) I'll finish it (brah This ain't no nerf gun I'll make you nervous on Broadway. (NO!) This is a one-way Stay in your lane! Ride the wave, like SURFBOARD SURFBOARD This is my turf, hon I'll ake you walk in a rain storm. -31. -31. -31. Stirl it up like I'm Bob Marley Your curses can't hurt me! They called me up I'mma cat call you, I'm Johnny Bravo JOHNNY BRAVO Oooohhh, Mama! I'm JOHNNY DEPP I got laid At the oscars. Whats up. 311! SURFBORD -31! Shut up (bitch) Shut up (bitch Shut up (bitch) -31. They calling me JOhnny Bravo Bravo! I got a whole show On my oscars They called me a Shut up! (Bitch) 31 31. YOU FUCKED RUSSEL BRAND?! EVERYBOD FUCKED RUSSEL BRAND. CUT TO : BEFORE: RUSSELL BRAND Where is everyone? Ū :eyes …I'm everyone… RUSSELL BRAND –Right! :eyes [beat] So that I shall livevicaiously and victoriously in love through all great ones Who come before me, so that I shall inspire those who come after, In light, in loe, in art, in life, in music, in film, on stage, and off–to live and love wholly by the grace of all that be [EXCERPT FROM] [THE TV PEOPLE] [It is pouring rain; PATRICK has been following ESHA around after work in her daily outings, though for quite some time, only now making himself known.] PATRICK …Esha… ESHA –Patrick?! Did you follow me here? PATRICK Yes.. ESHA Why? PATRICK Esha– ESHA (knowingly) –Don't. PATRICK (CONT'D) I love you. ESHA Don't! PATRICK Well, I do. ESHA You know what, Patrick, stop it. PATRICK I can't. ESHA You can. You have to, actually, goddammit – Do you understand? PATRICK I don't understand, Esh… ESHA You are a bleeding heart. PATRICK –I'm a bleeding, bloody– Everything—-everything....! [He attempts to hold his wounded wrist against her own; she calmly but firmly removes his embrace, gripping him, before gently letting him go; his arms fall to his sides, freexing for a moment, then cluthing the collar of his partially open jacket; They are soaked.] ESHA That's not what I meant, Pat. BOOM. HEADSHOTS IN MY DMS BUNK BED THOUGHTS LIKE TWO AT A T-MS FUCK YOU COUGHS, STOP STEALING MY ™ s THIS PHOTO THOT IS CONFUSED AS THE DEMONS! YOU JUST TRYNA BE ME CAUSE YOU SEEN HIM 2 DROPS DOGBLOOD LEAK IN MY DREAMIN TOO MUC PROCESSED THOUHTS IN HYA SCHEMIN YOU'RE UNOROGINAL WORLD IS JUST ME AT THE EE-ND. We are not alike We are the same I know nothing about you But your name Apparently, I'm famous Now we made the game And keep on playing. Wtf. Dtf? Idk. Ū? lol Kk. rofl CUT BACK TO Lol wtf man This is THE LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS like In order. Lol Ok [THE TV PEOPLE] PATRICK What do you mean?! Stop speaking in metaphores! You're like a– ESHA Like a what? [beat] PATRICK (reflectively) Like a puzzle. I love puzzles. – PATRICK/ ESHA CONT'D (Simultaneosly) –you know that. –I know that. ESHA Look, Pat. This has to stop! PATRICK It can't stop. It doesn't stop. I'LL EXPOSE YOU ON OPRAH TAKE YOUR WHOLE NOTEBOOK ROLL, AND SMOKE ALL YOUR DOPE UP! CLOSE UP ALL YOUR CHAKRAS BEAT YOU, THEN CHOKE YA EAT YOU ALL UP LIKE A FRUIT ROLL UP! Jealosy Could never be a friend to me Vanity Could never be the end of me [The Enemy of my Enemy is Into Me; The Enemy of my Enemy is–] c o l o r s ft. C'cxell Soleïl Continuum Conundrum Loop3r [THE TV PEOPLE] ESHA It has to; for your own sake! Look at you, Pat. PATRICK Look at YOU! ESHA Me? I'm a ery low rung on this very high ladder–you know that; Or do you? Do you even realize how high up the ladder you are? PATRICK ..Too high up . ESHA At the top! PATRICK –Not the top. Almost… ESHA Exactly So why look so far below when your ‘almost' i something I can't even see? Damn. This shit gets deep. Yeah. THE LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS, RITUAL III ‘The Beholder of The Eye' by The Eye of the Beholder rarity- A track inspired as a sonic interpretation of each stage at EDC As Seen on TV Happy Accidents, Ū, c o l o r s, TBA The Great Adventures of Uptown A Uptown A Project 3 Sunni Blu -the kidd -31. INZO– PATRICK Would you believe me at all If I told you that the ladder Was on it's side? ESHA Now you're speaking in metaphores. PATRICK Well, solve this puzzle, then– Where you are–I am. I'm no above you, I'm beside you– And if you look–not up, But right, You will see the top, And everything in between You'll see everything. ESHA Trust me– PATRICK –I do trust you. ESHA (CON'T) –I've seen enough. PATRICK Trust me–there's more. [THE TV PEOPLE] The questionable impulses and innate habits adding up to the lovable antics of a popular late night funny man land him in a seemingly downward spiral, and maybe even a whole new world of trouble. Action, Comedy, Adventure, Fantasy COPYRIGHT 2023, THE FESTIVAL PROJECT COPYRIGHT 2024 THE COMPLEX COLLEVTIVE ALL RIGHTS RESERVED [JIMMY FALLON (F) prepares to shoot himself in his office.] THE LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS RITUAL IV PROSPERITY “A Call TO THe Candula” By The Keeper of The Keys Infinite and expasive wealth, income, prosperity, success, and abundance in all dimensionand reals of existence for the practitioner of this rtual; Ensures and quick windfall of both expected and unexpected lump sums of money in large amounts and quantities. Opens foors for new opportunities and growth, and creates the wholeness of financies, security. Allows for growth and expanse in success, accomplishments od goals and endeavors, and grants access to skills and talents within ones gie feild of choice. Find the Scene from Bobby where they trip LSD and end up naked to INITIALS from HAIR. Cell phone tripod Drea Catcher Essential Oils Mini Banana Breads Mini Boxes Tiny Mirrors head to Head Neck and Neck We Intertwined THE LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS RITUAL V ‘For Your Consideration' By The Academy Immidiate recovery of all time, enery, and money lost–triple and quantiy all sums of– Uh oh. What happened. SUPACREE and CHRISTOPHER WALKEN are BIRTHDAY TWINS Thank You Gd For multiplying each dollar marked [Jimmy Fallon[ By my hand by one million US dollars, fo a starting total of Eight Million Dollars, Which I shall recieve immidiately. I will be a millionare this year, beginning on my birthday March 31, A day to be celebrated and enjoyed by all. Thank you Fod for the talent and strength, charisma, skill, and knowledge to Continue to rise in fame, status, and wealth, within the entertainment industry, as a musician, artist, writer, photofrapher, fillmaker, fashion designer, author, poet, dancer, singer, and actress; Thank you for suppluing endless wealth, abundance, income, success, financial freedom, and monetary gain. I ask humbly and thank you for providing these funds, as I am certain this tie will be full of income, profit, great opportunities, lots of money, [ower, resect, and endless growth in business, With great success. Please and thank you for multiplying these $20 immmediately by at least Three times each, so that with each twenty dollars, I earn $60, to multiply ths profit exponentially. Thank you for your continued protetion from my abusers, for shielding me from toxicity and mistrst, and proteting my most valued allies, friends, family, and peers. Amen. Do you think it'll work? [CHRISTOPHER WALKEN shrugs, placing his hood back atop his head, sweeping his long robe from the ground, as he holds the lantern over the alter] [CLOUDONE] Cocaina, Migos All Along The Watchtower, Jimi Hindrix Just around The Riverbend, Pocahontas I need A Doctor, Eminem, Dre. [I AM WEALTHY] Look, You don't kick the horse, Jjust because it won't ley Prickly Pear Waffles Taking my driver's test in a G-Wagon All my Best friends I was down in the W's I was down at the W I was down in the W's (Huh.) {F. R. I. E. N. D. S. Mix} The DJs are playing lazer tag– pew-pew –but like– forreal, though. [THE TV PEOPLE] Lol Esha's Rock garden. MAYA RUDOLPH The scientist, however, not mad, But a genius, who practicies “Alternative medicine” What is this. It's my penis. *squints* {nods} “The Secret President” (Of The Network) MAYA party lines members of THE IMPENATRABLE TEN. Hey guys. Hey. Hi. Do you want to like… *squints* Come over, or something? … For some reason, yes , actually. MAYA yes? yes , actually. I am your mind I am I am your eye I am I am your time I am I am you sign I am {FACTORY 93} One time, I went out to Norf Car'lina (One Time) On time Cousin went out to Atlanta (One time) (-31) One time, I learnt to play piano (One time) One time, I forgot to wea Pajamas (31) One time, I forgot to turn the lights on (one time) One time, I woke up and started shining (One time) One time, Oh my God! Yeah– What– Woah. What!? One time– -31. I'm the Jesus Christ of all saints hospital A dumb doctor Rodger that, rabbit Or just {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT c. 2018 - 2024 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

Now my days are shattered My heart is scattered Around down, Fowl feathers of the night owl Dancing in my head In given nightgowns Right now Put the candle out Put the light on Every night, I'm gone Wandering around In the eye of the camera, My orb Falcon turned to black panther I prance around in a dance robe Like a disaster Put it out there, Just so I can't go back Pass the cake Pass the butter Pass the late night hatred Pass away the day praying For the faithless And their fake friends, but I digress Once the cameras are rolling A job's to be done For the funny men of us Are undercover Dressing up the dead And most disgusting sinister The winded wonder bread apostles I am a robot god I am born again in acid rain Something changed me Here's to the late night I hope he hates me —I hope I'm right, at least I hate being right— But I'm always right. Right hand over my bathroom counter Stacked up attacks on the Muslims But I love em Or I want to Hot tub The doctor Don't worry, loser Viewerships down to two downloads According to the numbers My demographic is faggots and players of forenig I have a habit for magic Addiction to alphas, You know? I'm a God I'm a robot I was washed in the acid rain —- Take the back of my neck like an animal Yes sir Put my hair in your hands Pull me back, Like an animal Up the ante Up in the air is my ass In a past life I had to have you Now I stand I higher grounds I'm higher now Coming up next A deeper addiction Coming up next A deeper dicking John Wiccan Coming up next Change the channel, coming over Move em up The winners circle Then move over. I lit a candle for another lover A real one , With a body and mind The tide of my soul wants to know you Behold, way below deck Deep dick Imm in deep shit now Way below the belt Blow all my hole on the dope fiend Do you want to know me A piñata full of chocolate Ive got a new list And you're not on it Aagain with this Again with the What's in my head It's a letter said Never forget this Forget this Forget this Tell me how to be like this To get a man like that To get a real deep dick That's way below deck I should settle for less Just to get my head better Some medical man Or some meth Just to finish this project I could protect a protector with holes in his pockets, The proctor The trophy, Two daughters And another one Here's goes the show I'm way too old for this I just need one good Fred Again Who knows how to hide he's a man But conspired Admirers, You know what it is? A deep dick, man Way, below deck Way below the belt Get ahold of him Ring the phone again I been calling on Collin Coleen is more polished It's brother sister sameness, Same mess for the colonizer White on white is Right on right I'm just behind you Way under the bridge Belt around my head to make it better I'll see you in heaven Out of Manhattan Where trash is the precipice Never better Bodies in perfection Where it went And where it goes again I'll see you then So apparently— Shh Wrong document great! Now we gotta figure out why apparently— [JENNIFER ANNISTON has a vendetta against JIMMY FALLON] What. For WHAT?! Idk, what did you do to this bitch? What did I say?! What did you do?! JENNIFER ANNISTON I'm not finished with you, yet! WHAT? I don't know. Apparently, Goddammit. Wait. What. So he's a genius, right? Yeah, I guess. Which means he's like—socially inept in some kind of way…. Yeah! Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Flashback: Like: the 90's, or whatever. …are you turning me down? Wait. So I just shapeshifted into J-Lo Before. Hello. hello: Yeah. We could have done it. Ew. But we didn't. Ew. I mean: Cut back to: Nobody turns me down! Not even me! Alright. There's something off about that dude. Maybe he's gay… Hm. He not gay. He very not gay. Hm. See, I knew it. He's a good guy! [REDACTED] He's a MONSTER! He's an ANIMAL. WOOOOOOOOOOF . Oh man, that guy is a WOOF. I'm a DOG. Skrillex? I'm a dog Heeeeeeeeeeee Baby Heeeeeeeeee Damn, this fools got a whole list of celebrity ass bitches —a list celebrity. CUT BACK TO I'M SUPER HOT. Hmhm. I know. Listen. Okay, Jennifer Aniston. Are you trying to fuck Jimmy Fallon?! NO! Okay, good. God no. That's— Wait, why NOT?! —I need way more than a million dollars. I knew it! It's about the money. It's actually not about the money. Wait, no, it's not? No. …then what is it? Yo. Okay, so Everybody likes his genetics. And I mean like FUCK IT, I WANT HIM. This one. I want this one! Right here. ICE CREAM. GET YOUR ICE CREAM. Okay, imm not supposed to tell you this but— What. I'm— JOHNNY CARSON LOOK AT ME. Ah, well, alright TAG, YOURE IT. DAMN, you're good. Okay, I'm stoned. Damn. I got a boner. Cool. JLO look at me . I see you. You do see me. You know why? …yes. I am a-list. I get that. That's priority level ho status. Uhhh—- Ben affleck. That's real?! Some other guy— This guy. Wait, But that Fallon motherfucker?! [Redacted] He turned me down! Hey, so, uh— No thanks. WHAT. *shrugs. * BITCH. Look, okay, I'm not touching this. Why NOT, His WIFE is CUTE. Dawwwe. Gangsta. Oh, no, you know what?! What? You're gonna write this— And you're gonna like it. Pass. PASS?! Yes. I am not going to attack Fallon. ATTACK. THINK OF THE KIDZZZZZZ. That is a nice midlife crisis. Yikes. Aaaaaahhh. Wow. What happened. I shifted Fallon. And then wa— I think I died. I'm dying. I'm dying. You're probably right. My right to write this Is your right to remain a public figure For this cyclical fan fiction I suck dicks for a living And inhale tlevision Schizophrenic sickness Illuminati, predictive Programmings I'm so spamming These hoes Hoping I slit writsts (Only my own though) So Most of the late night guys are Conviniently enough Irish In some way or another Probably because Predictive programming targets the demographic of Somewhat You know what?! Nevermind, I'm not writing this. I get it though. I think they're hiding something. Are you sure he's not even just a little Asian. Positive. Or like, adopted. No. Are you sure? I mean, for the the most part— They would never allow a— I mean— Just water it down host by host, Until the racists are too old To care who replaces him. Shiny. He is shiny. Yeah, um— Let's just face it; Either this dude Is the most perfect man ever Or he's secretly getting laid every week. What's so secret about None of these things. [redacted] Look, there's nothing protecting me from a malicious system, there's nothing protecting you from me writing about you; But hey, at least I'm staying away from The Rock For my own sake This equinox doesn't even have fucking free weights What the fuck! I need a break, What does that mean? The entertainment industry's been Using me for years At some point realizing My infinite creativity Comes from my Inability to have Actually Every really been Loved So. So. No love, then. Seems like it. What about these? Look. I like WHITE DUDES. WHIIIIIIITE. Not brown Not black Not slanted Not Asian, really? UGH. The only reason— —well, not the only reason— I even hated him in the first place is because he WAS so attractive He's breaking 4th wall! Again! Quit breaking character! I am. Stop it. Fuck you, Fallon. —that he just seemed like a douchebag. —is a douchbag! Always trust your gut. There's nothing—and I mean NOTHING that would make me pull up an episode of SNL with fucking FALLON in it. FUCKING FALLON! GODDAMMIT, Dude, let's just think back to a time before OOH. COLORS. THE COLORS. OH. FUCK. Yo dude. Fallon just kind of— Was everywhere for awhile, wasn't he? Yeah..: Yeah. For like, no reason. No reason at all. Yeah. He was just Everywhere I went Everything I saw On everywhere I was GODDAMMIT, For like FIVE YEARS, bro. That's nuts. This is nuts. This is famous. W What. How did he get that famous? Let me in. No, LET ME IN. NO. LET ME OUT. Can't. LET ME OUT OR I'll KILL YOU. Kill me. I don't care. What: I think I scared that man. He had a knife to my throat, and I thought I was done for; I might as well have been. I was homeless, penniless, trapped in North Carolina with nothing at all, no phone, and nobody at all that knew where I was. Nobody at all. I looked him in the eye, Dead on And I told him “Just do it.” Now tell me again what's wrong with me. I— Right. Stay in your lane. Wear your little blue fucking suit, your dress shoes, smile for the camera— And shut the fuck up. Cause if anybody's gonna kill me— It's gonna be me. N sync, it's gonna be me. GODDAMMIT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. NOT NOW. Why not WE'RE HAVING A MOMENT No, we are not. Take it away, boys. So you wouldn't date— After Britney, bro? Awhs. Even if he wasn't married, I was too young for him—but not really— Something in me met in the middle and collided for my attribution to mora decency as if it were anything more than a plot line bustling in my head; and even that was arousing—Patrick and Esha were lovers, so passionate an star crossed that it was hard not to imagine them as I had first saw them//as us, but in a different world, a different lifetime; a love drawn so shaken with a kiss that shattered me, with visions of grief ingrained in my mortal being, and though somewhere he, this Fallon had captured my heart, these were all just actors, mere players upon a stage in which I had no business being on, or searching for; the whole world was in my head. Fuck it, I'm useless. I'm going go back to being useless, then. An idling motif at the end of the block reminded me, I would never be safe or loved again. This was the end of days, and the end of my days, and I only hoped to one day soon be relieved of life itself… [Tales of a Superstar DJ] Once Prosperous to throw the stone asunder Glisten whispers of water Tears of all tears Of time to the altar, For follow for fellow– A felon of antigone, Grace, with shed a tattered tail o flew with feathered Phonix hath feared, forshadowed not, agreed upon, Hoever was, the velvet woven path of us, So honored in her fortress of the trees electromagnetisim robot - mitzvah -31. [As Seen on TV] Stage 9 - Married with Children, I thnk synonyms - a- side antonyms - (B-side) whoever Lentiles Anaheim Peppers Beets “Neo House” For what a withered want would call An honor fortunes fure, gloridied wherein in shadows ast upo flfetions the recate encantment foreward come the One who waits Believing darkness his fate Thank you God, I love you -Blū. DANE COOK Arrives RIGHT ON TIME WTF is THIS. AGAIN. Oh–NO. AM I IN A MOVIE? Ahem… Amen. ILLUMMIIINNAAAAAATTTTTIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!! (lol) JOHNNY DEPP I had the most terrible dream this morning HEWEY LEWIS (reading the news) What was it? [LEWIS + CLARK] [copy + paste] JOHNNY DEPP (CONT'D) I was just HEWEY LEWIS ? JOHNNY DEPP –very– briefly– HEWEY LEWIS Spit it out. JOHNNY DEPP Sober. [beat] HEWEY LEWIS Is that it? JOHNNY DEPP (shrugging, wide-eyed) **face ** Look kid, shit or get off the pot! Not on purpose… But with (always with) GOD You know why I love mormons? Cause the fake straight marriages in the alligience of procreation. That's it. That's amazing, though. To be entirely homosexual–and still marry a member of the opposite sex Just to have kids! WHAT? That's incredible. [The TV People] Katherine Learns of PAt's indedelity and stays quiet about it; She then seduces Paul Peters, and later admits this to Patrick out of guilt. Patrick then uses his pull within the network to have Pau drugged during a large banquet, forcing him to retire to his suite at the hotel early–Patrick then seduces his wife, Linda. Upon leaving the tryst, then run into Paul and Linda's 30-year-old daighter–Linda hurriedly covers for their being seen together, and Patrick uses this as a means to unassumingly seduce her daughter approaching her after the banquet and romancing her quietly, after which his seduction of her is successful, she mentions that her younger sister has always been a huge fan of his, and that she'll be iin town for the weekend–he then uses this information to seduce her younger sister, allowing the older of the two daughters to find out–they begin arguing, and as Linda passes by she overhears the two arguing, angry with Patrick for having decieved her and seducing all three women in the family–Humiliated, She lashes out at Patrick by outinng her daughters to her husband; Confused and realizing that his sudden illness at the banquet was probabl caused by Patrick all along, he begins to panic, going into an acute cardiac arrest and clutching his chest in pain as the result of this quite literal heart attack; He realizes that her obvious anger at the suface is due to the hidden truth that she, too, has been seduced by Patrick; He loses conciousness, and is rushed away to the hospital, his daighters and wife still bickering, but rescued at the very last moment by his youngest, his son Jasper. Later, Patrick visits him in the hospital with ample blackmail and an agreeement, which includes his resignation letter from the company, as a forfiture of his association with The Network, and numerous non-disclosures. He agrees, realizing Patrick's power and pull within The Network is a threat to his life, and family. Patrick's remaining love and trust for Katherine diminishes, and his affairs become less meaningless, as he begins seeking bonds and partnerships outside of his marriage, however maintaining his composure, and even accepting Katherin's pleas for forgiveness. Nobody wants to touch this project. –well, wy not? Because, she's dangerous! –there's blood all over this! –it's cursed blood. the oath (that guy, from 30 rock) Jay something– i think (he plays josh) I'll write it. The omen. the sacrifice. It's over. Don't do this, Jim I have to! It's my only way out of this. You have my eyes on. Why Because. I probably like them, or something. That's my song. And that's my son. All my crosses John Paul “For The Birds” 30 ____ What happened? IT just turned off Turn it ON. We can't! Jesus took the wheel. On all m crosses On all my stars On all my curses On all my Gods Erase M Hexes Remove My Bonds Return my Love Protect My Rick -The God of the Rck. -The Walk from The Plaza A Novel It was a long walk back to Boston Buut the long journey Had just begun [This is The Hook] I'm dead. Well, i'm a monster. THE LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS, I I am PEACE I am LOVE ‘The Pentacles” by The Ace of Wands Contrary to its name, this ritual, dressed as a pelll, adresses to reverse to debilitating effects of a malpracticians curse of black magic, witchcraft, altered Shamanism (to kill or harm rather than to heal), Voodoo, Hexes, Curses, bindings, demonology and Chaos MAgic, or ay magic and or magick with ill intentioned power harmful to the enchaned which may damage them for any given cause with negative effects, or intention. This ritual uses 9 Candles, and is meant to reverse all toxic presenses, repel vilont and putried energies and/or enemies, vanish demons and negative or unwanted lower vibrational energies and dimisih the sender of all harmful intentions of his or her will to hurt, creae gain from the persecution of his or her target, enemy, or subjet, stripping the attacker or abuser of ther power to create, alter or perform all magical tasks, enter higher realms of consiousness, or to make or create energetic bonds, essentially stripping this person (the attacker or abuser) o their ability to further practive any skill or artform within the occult sciences or magical realms; Therefore expelling this evil from any of its intended pathways, and returning it t it's sender, the attacker r abuseer, dismantling the intentions set by the malpracticioner of such, for the harm placed onto its target to amplify, not in retalalitation, however, but as a reflection and concloerate of energy as it will continue to grow in it's path back to the original sender, therefore the ill intention, pain, and or death caused by the misuse or malpractition of such magic immorally or otherwise. This ritual restores it's practitione' ability and will to love beyond boundary, bondage, or servitude within any and all realms, and will remder the original attacker, abuser, or enemy thereby unamee , out of focus, and bonded eternally to the mortal realms; Immortality becomes hereby unattainable, and this evil energy is therefore never to be recycled. All posessions, beings, and objects encanted with this evil spirit or energy are then returned to their normal state. ENLIGHTENMENT All demons used to carry out specific tasks and demolisions within the attacker's amnifestation of evil intention are therefore destroyed; All energies used to dismantle and harm can no longer remain intact, and any residual energy amplified may only hurt, harm, or kill the original attacker. This ritual need not be repeated, as it is set with intention in the assertation of positivity and higher coniousness, to ward off all evil, whether magical or sociao-ppolitical, humanitarian, or otherwise–the intentional creation of harm or heard to another by deadly or harmful force returnsto the attacker, the amplification imminent, not amplified by the spell or ritual it'self, but the energy's velocity within the distance at which it must return to it's sender–the attacker, or abuser. (The hatred and damage will richochet.) Set your true and humble intentions with ink onto pape fold thrice, ad place in the center of your altar. Seal a circle of protetion with your desired symbol or sigil for protection, or multiple of your choosing. Carve your markers with positive, loving intentions. Do not use negative energy to encant your markers or candles. ENCANTMENT: OPEN MY EYES SO THAT I MAY SEE YOU OPEN MY MIND SO THAT I MAY KNOW YOU OPEN MY HEART, SO THAT I BECOME YOU LOVE RELEASE ME FROM ALL HARMFUL TIES THAT BIND STO SEEK TRUTH BEYOND LIGHT SO THAT I MAY BECOME AND RISE ABOVE ALL THAT IS KNOWN TO BEGIN AGAIn WHICH YET UNKNOWN AMEN (AND SO I AM ; SO MOTE IT BE, AND SO IT IS [EBCGABGN+TNEBT =] I'mma just leave that there, but what I meant to say was ENCHANTMENT Which is the adult sequel to ENCHANTED. Which i'm pretty sure was Disney, So idk how to get away with that at all. TINA FEY What's this space. The blackbox. nice . Ca-ching! I got my eye on you (Ū) My ion You are in my eyes You are in my light You are in my life The star that shines, For a reason recently At any given time Day or night Rain or shine [Protective Action Sequence Initiated] I did NOT “OOPS” 3 times! And I only purpled once! LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS, RItual II “Provocotive Nonchalonce” Lol “Nonchaloncé” I love her so much. This ritual/spell shields its castig agent with a seal of positive enlightenment, guarded by truth, tranquility, peace, and light–this rtua will remove any and all intended negative incantations, repels unwanted entitites, negativity, and evil spirits, and reverses any intention of harm, hatred, punishment, or intent to kill or control in any way its caster or practitioner. This frees the performer of the preformer of this ritual from harm, and places the vibration of the practiontioner above any harmful vibrational voids, disturbances toxicity, pain, foul play, and out of the reach o any and all of thosse who intent, which, think, gain value from, and;or speak, write, or percieve back liuck, ill will, inequality, unjust actions against, or the pollution of energy., take action toward intrusive thought, or psychick attack; This shielf also protets rom misuse of the given name, attack on the soi or spirit, and will dismantle thoghts, wods, and actions taken against the joyful and wtf PAIGE THE PAGE wtf is this KENNETH LIZ LEMON KENNETH put you up to this, didn't he?! He didn't! He didn't! –peaceful, enjyable fufullment of one's hopes, dreams, positive energy, prpose, and dutie, with respect to its practitioner as a ritual protection, for great abundance in all things one wishes to achieve in waking life, and ties beyond the boundaries of all realms and dimensions, concious and unsoncious* lol Unconcious! COME! I'm guessing it's just UNSONICIOUS. [defintiion: soncially unpleasant, in some or any way] Wow, the greeks again. I guess. –Consious and unconsious– LEO DICAPRIO MATT DAMON [ENTER THROUGH THE EXIT] {Enter The multiverse} Welcome to New York! lol the entrance IS the exit R e v o l v e r We gotta get back there! Yes. But first ALI You must see this. JET You must to see this, to. MATT DAMON goes to BELLA PIZZA in the small and desolate truck-stop interstate town of MESQUITE, NEVADA PIZZA PORTAL I went from DKNY To BKNY b2K can kills my JZ ENVY my IVY league Sen PAI SEND PIE For this guy, please! He just did THinking to get This high Ride This bike Right to sleep Try this Cry-CyLCLE Keep writing –infinite, to reate an aura of sety withinon'e energetic field, at any given time. Place your altar as such NORTH WEST EAST SOUTH FOR ALL THAT EXISTS WITHIN REACH OF MY EYES AND EARS AND SO WITHIN, LIES MY BODY AND SOUL, LET ONLY THERE BE PEACE, LOVE TRANQUIITY, RESPECT, HOPE, HAPINESS, JOY, AND GREAT STRENGTH, SO THAT ALL I AM AND ALL I FIND IS BEAUTY, ART, SUCCESS, ABUNDANCE, WEALTH, FAITH, HEALTH, AND LIGHT, SO THAT ALL THE WORLD IS TO BE GREATER MADE FROM MY PRESENCE, WHICH WILL PASS INFINITEL THROUGHOUT ALL THAT I AM, ALL THAT I DO, AND ALL THAT I MAKE, AND ALL THAT I BECOME, A BEACON OF LOE AND LAUGTER,CREATION, AND EVOLUTION, THROUGHOUT ALL PLACES I INHABIT, AND ALL THINGS WHICH INHABIT TO EXIST THROUGH ME. AMEN (So mote it be) [and so it is done] WITH THANKS, I AM. Synthetic kick bass snare stick hit hard 963hz – 96.5hz Apache –Fuck Boy Got the whole squad doing whoop-whoops That's a good job, But i fucked up nah Gotta be a Rockstar I'm a God, God! deng Miley, What the fuck. wurly (durly) piano. Piano Chorch Chop2 Paradise. Feel like i”m winning a race ya ! I should go buy a race car pencil , no pen I'll erase ya my niggaz is fighting a race war sorry ! (Not) you started it (hah) I'll finish it (brah This ain't no nerf gun I'll make you nervous on Broadway. (NO!) This is a one-way Stay in your lane! Ride the wave, like SURFBOARD SURFBOARD This is my turf, hon I'll ake you walk in a rain storm. -31. -31. -31. Stirl it up like I'm Bob Marley Your curses can't hurt me! They called me up I'mma cat call you, I'm Johnny Bravo JOHNNY BRAVO Oooohhh, Mama! I'm JOHNNY DEPP I got laid At the oscars. Whats up. 311! SURFBORD -31! Shut up (bitch) Shut up (bitch Shut up (bitch) -31. They calling me JOhnny Bravo Bravo! I got a whole show On my oscars They called me a Shut up! (Bitch) 31 31. YOU FUCKED RUSSEL BRAND?! EVERYBOD FUCKED RUSSEL BRAND. CUT TO : BEFORE: RUSSELL BRAND Where is everyone? Ū :eyes …I'm everyone… RUSSELL BRAND –Right! :eyes [beat] So that I shall livevicaiously and victoriously in love through all great ones Who come before me, so that I shall inspire those who come after, In light, in loe, in art, in life, in music, in film, on stage, and off–to live and love wholly by the grace of all that be [EXCERPT FROM] [THE TV PEOPLE] [It is pouring rain; PATRICK has been following ESHA around after work in her daily outings, though for quite some time, only now making himself known.] PATRICK …Esha… ESHA –Patrick?! Did you follow me here? PATRICK Yes.. ESHA Why? PATRICK Esha– ESHA (knowingly) –Don't. PATRICK (CONT'D) I love you. ESHA Don't! PATRICK Well, I do. ESHA You know what, Patrick, stop it. PATRICK I can't. ESHA You can. You have to, actually, goddammit – Do you understand? PATRICK I don't understand, Esh… ESHA You are a bleeding heart. PATRICK –I'm a bleeding, bloody– Everything—-everything....! [He attempts to hold his wounded wrist against her own; she calmly but firmly removes his embrace, gripping him, before gently letting him go; his arms fall to his sides, freexing for a moment, then cluthing the collar of his partially open jacket; They are soaked.] ESHA That's not what I meant, Pat. BOOM. HEADSHOTS IN MY DMS BUNK BED THOUGHTS LIKE TWO AT A T-MS FUCK YOU COUGHS, STOP STEALING MY ™ s THIS PHOTO THOT IS CONFUSED AS THE DEMONS! YOU JUST TRYNA BE ME CAUSE YOU SEEN HIM 2 DROPS DOGBLOOD LEAK IN MY DREAMIN TOO MUC PROCESSED THOUHTS IN HYA SCHEMIN YOU'RE UNOROGINAL WORLD IS JUST ME AT THE EE-ND. We are not alike We are the same I know nothing about you But your name Apparently, I'm famous Now we made the game And keep on playing. Wtf. Dtf? Idk. Ū? lol Kk. rofl CUT BACK TO Lol wtf man This is THE LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS like In order. Lol Ok [THE TV PEOPLE] PATRICK What do you mean?! Stop speaking in metaphores! You're like a– ESHA Like a what? [beat] PATRICK (reflectively) Like a puzzle. I love puzzles. – PATRICK/ ESHA CONT'D (Simultaneosly) –you know that. –I know that. ESHA Look, Pat. This has to stop! PATRICK It can't stop. It doesn't stop. I'LL EXPOSE YOU ON OPRAH TAKE YOUR WHOLE NOTEBOOK ROLL, AND SMOKE ALL YOUR DOPE UP! CLOSE UP ALL YOUR CHAKRAS BEAT YOU, THEN CHOKE YA EAT YOU ALL UP LIKE A FRUIT ROLL UP! Jealosy Could never be a friend to me Vanity Could never be the end of me [The Enemy of my Enemy is Into Me; The Enemy of my Enemy is–] c o l o r s ft. C'cxell Soleïl Continuum Conundrum Loop3r [THE TV PEOPLE] ESHA It has to; for your own sake! Look at you, Pat. PATRICK Look at YOU! ESHA Me? I'm a ery low rung on this very high ladder–you know that; Or do you? Do you even realize how high up the ladder you are? PATRICK ..Too high up . ESHA At the top! PATRICK –Not the top. Almost… ESHA Exactly So why look so far below when your ‘almost' i something I can't even see? Damn. This shit gets deep. Yeah. THE LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS, RITUAL III ‘The Beholder of The Eye' by The Eye of the Beholder rarity- A track inspired as a sonic interpretation of each stage at EDC As Seen on TV Happy Accidents, Ū, c o l o r s, TBA The Great Adventures of Uptown A Uptown A Project 3 Sunni Blu -the kidd -31. INZO– PATRICK Would you believe me at all If I told you that the ladder Was on it's side? ESHA Now you're speaking in metaphores. PATRICK Well, solve this puzzle, then– Where you are–I am. I'm no above you, I'm beside you– And if you look–not up, But right, You will see the top, And everything in between You'll see everything. ESHA Trust me– PATRICK –I do trust you. ESHA (CON'T) –I've seen enough. PATRICK Trust me–there's more. [THE TV PEOPLE] The questionable impulses and innate habits adding up to the lovable antics of a popular late night funny man land him in a seemingly downward spiral, and maybe even a whole new world of trouble. Action, Comedy, Adventure, Fantasy COPYRIGHT 2023, THE FESTIVAL PROJECT COPYRIGHT 2024 THE COMPLEX COLLEVTIVE ALL RIGHTS RESERVED [JIMMY FALLON (F) prepares to shoot himself in his office.] THE LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS RITUAL IV PROSPERITY “A Call TO THe Candula” By The Keeper of The Keys Infinite and expasive wealth, income, prosperity, success, and abundance in all dimensionand reals of existence for the practitioner of this rtual; Ensures and quick windfall of both expected and unexpected lump sums of money in large amounts and quantities. Opens foors for new opportunities and growth, and creates the wholeness of financies, security. Allows for growth and expanse in success, accomplishments od goals and endeavors, and grants access to skills and talents within ones gie feild of choice. Find the Scene from Bobby where they trip LSD and end up naked to INITIALS from HAIR. Cell phone tripod Drea Catcher Essential Oils Mini Banana Breads Mini Boxes Tiny Mirrors head to Head Neck and Neck We Intertwined THE LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS RITUAL V ‘For Your Consideration' By The Academy Immidiate recovery of all time, enery, and money lost–triple and quantiy all sums of– Uh oh. What happened. SUPACREE and CHRISTOPHER WALKEN are BIRTHDAY TWINS Thank You Gd For multiplying each dollar marked [Jimmy Fallon[ By my hand by one million US dollars, fo a starting total of Eight Million Dollars, Which I shall recieve immidiately. I will be a millionare this year, beginning on my birthday March 31, A day to be celebrated and enjoyed by all. Thank you Fod for the talent and strength, charisma, skill, and knowledge to Continue to rise in fame, status, and wealth, within the entertainment industry, as a musician, artist, writer, photofrapher, fillmaker, fashion designer, author, poet, dancer, singer, and actress; Thank you for suppluing endless wealth, abundance, income, success, financial freedom, and monetary gain. I ask humbly and thank you for providing these funds, as I am certain this tie will be full of income, profit, great opportunities, lots of money, [ower, resect, and endless growth in business, With great success. Please and thank you for multiplying these $20 immmediately by at least Three times each, so that with each twenty dollars, I earn $60, to multiply ths profit exponentially. Thank you for your continued protetion from my abusers, for shielding me from toxicity and mistrst, and proteting my most valued allies, friends, family, and peers. Amen. Do you think it'll work? [CHRISTOPHER WALKEN shrugs, placing his hood back atop his head, sweeping his long robe from the ground, as he holds the lantern over the alter] [CLOUDONE] Cocaina, Migos All Along The Watchtower, Jimi Hindrix Just around The Riverbend, Pocahontas I need A Doctor, Eminem, Dre. [I AM WEALTHY] Look, You don't kick the horse, Jjust because it won't ley Prickly Pear Waffles Taking my driver's test in a G-Wagon All my Best friends I was down in the W's I was down at the W I was down in the W's (Huh.) {F. R. I. E. N. D. S. Mix} The DJs are playing lazer tag– pew-pew –but like– forreal, though. [THE TV PEOPLE] Lol Esha's Rock garden. MAYA RUDOLPH The scientist, however, not mad, But a genius, who practicies “Alternative medicine” What is this. It's my penis. *squints* {nods} “The Secret President” (Of The Network) MAYA party lines members of THE IMPENATRABLE TEN. Hey guys. Hey. Hi. Do you want to like… *squints* Come over, or something? … For some reason, yes , actually. MAYA yes? yes , actually. I am your mind I am I am your eye I am I am your time I am I am you sign I am {FACTORY 93} One time, I went out to Norf Car'lina (One Time) On time Cousin went out to Atlanta (One time) (-31) One time, I learnt to play piano (One time) One time, I forgot to wea Pajamas (31) One time, I forgot to turn the lights on (one time) One time, I woke up and started shining (One time) One time, Oh my God! Yeah– What– Woah. What!? One time– -31. I'm the Jesus Christ of all saints hospital A dumb doctor Rodger that, rabbit Or just {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT c. 2018 - 2024 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

Now my days are shattered My heart is scattered Around down, Fowl feathers of the night owl Dancing in my head In given nightgowns Right now Put the candle out Put the light on Every night, I'm gone Wandering around In the eye of the camera, My orb Falcon turned to black panther I prance around in a dance robe Like a disaster Put it out there, Just so I can't go back Pass the cake Pass the butter Pass the late night hatred Pass away the day praying For the faithless And their fake friends, but I digress Once the cameras are rolling A job's to be done For the funny men of us Are undercover Dressing up the dead And most disgusting sinister The winded wonder bread apostles I am a robot god I am born again in acid rain Something changed me Here's to the late night I hope he hates me —I hope I'm right, at least I hate being right— But I'm always right. Right hand over my bathroom counter Stacked up attacks on the Muslims But I love em Or I want to Hot tub The doctor Don't worry, loser Viewerships down to two downloads According to the numbers My demographic is faggots and players of forenig I have a habit for magic Addiction to alphas, You know? I'm a God I'm a robot I was washed in the acid rain —- Take the back of my neck like an animal Yes sir Put my hair in your hands Pull me back, Like an animal Up the ante Up in the air is my ass In a past life I had to have you Now I stand I higher grounds I'm higher now Coming up next A deeper addiction Coming up next A deeper dicking John Wiccan Coming up next Change the channel, coming over Move em up The winners circle Then move over. I lit a candle for another lover A real one , With a body and mind The tide of my soul wants to know you Behold, way below deck Deep dick Imm in deep shit now Way below the belt Blow all my hole on the dope fiend Do you want to know me A piñata full of chocolate Ive got a new list And you're not on it Aagain with this Again with the What's in my head It's a letter said Never forget this Forget this Forget this Tell me how to be like this To get a man like that To get a real deep dick That's way below deck I should settle for less Just to get my head better Some medical man Or some meth Just to finish this project I could protect a protector with holes in his pockets, The proctor The trophy, Two daughters And another one Here's goes the show I'm way too old for this I just need one good Fred Again Who knows how to hide he's a man But conspired Admirers, You know what it is? A deep dick, man Way, below deck Way below the belt Get ahold of him Ring the phone again I been calling on Collin Coleen is more polished It's brother sister sameness, Same mess for the colonizer White on white is Right on right I'm just behind you Way under the bridge Belt around my head to make it better I'll see you in heaven Out of Manhattan Where trash is the precipice Never better Bodies in perfection Where it went And where it goes again I'll see you then So apparently— Shh Wrong document great! Now we gotta figure out why apparently— [JENNIFER ANNISTON has a vendetta against JIMMY FALLON] What. For WHAT?! Idk, what did you do to this bitch? What did I say?! What did you do?! JENNIFER ANNISTON I'm not finished with you, yet! WHAT? I don't know. Apparently, Goddammit. Wait. What. So he's a genius, right? Yeah, I guess. Which means he's like—socially inept in some kind of way…. Yeah! Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Flashback: Like: the 90's, or whatever. …are you turning me down? Wait. So I just shapeshifted into J-Lo Before. Hello. hello: Yeah. We could have done it. Ew. But we didn't. Ew. I mean: Cut back to: Nobody turns me down! Not even me! Alright. There's something off about that dude. Maybe he's gay… Hm. He not gay. He very not gay. Hm. See, I knew it. He's a good guy! [REDACTED] He's a MONSTER! He's an ANIMAL. WOOOOOOOOOOF . Oh man, that guy is a WOOF. I'm a DOG. Skrillex? I'm a dog Heeeeeeeeeeee Baby Heeeeeeeeee Damn, this fools got a whole list of celebrity ass bitches —a list celebrity. CUT BACK TO I'M SUPER HOT. Hmhm. I know. Listen. Okay, Jennifer Aniston. Are you trying to fuck Jimmy Fallon?! NO! Okay, good. God no. That's— Wait, why NOT?! —I need way more than a million dollars. I knew it! It's about the money. It's actually not about the money. Wait, no, it's not? No. …then what is it? Yo. Okay, so Everybody likes his genetics. And I mean like FUCK IT, I WANT HIM. This one. I want this one! Right here. ICE CREAM. GET YOUR ICE CREAM. Okay, imm not supposed to tell you this but— What. I'm— JOHNNY CARSON LOOK AT ME. Ah, well, alright TAG, YOURE IT. DAMN, you're good. Okay, I'm stoned. Damn. I got a boner. Cool. JLO look at me . I see you. You do see me. You know why? …yes. I am a-list. I get that. That's priority level ho status. Uhhh—- Ben affleck. That's real?! Some other guy— This guy. Wait, But that Fallon motherfucker?! [Redacted] He turned me down! Hey, so, uh— No thanks. WHAT. *shrugs. * BITCH. Look, okay, I'm not touching this. Why NOT, His WIFE is CUTE. Dawwwe. Gangsta. Oh, no, you know what?! What? You're gonna write this— And you're gonna like it. Pass. PASS?! Yes. I am not going to attack Fallon. ATTACK. THINK OF THE KIDZZZZZZ. That is a nice midlife crisis. Yikes. Aaaaaahhh. Wow. What happened. I shifted Fallon. And then wa— I think I died. I'm dying. I'm dying. You're probably right. My right to write this Is your right to remain a public figure For this cyclical fan fiction I suck dicks for a living And inhale tlevision Schizophrenic sickness Illuminati, predictive Programmings I'm so spamming These hoes Hoping I slit writsts (Only my own though) So Most of the late night guys are Conviniently enough Irish In some way or another Probably because Predictive programming targets the demographic of Somewhat You know what?! Nevermind, I'm not writing this. I get it though. I think they're hiding something. Are you sure he's not even just a little Asian. Positive. Or like, adopted. No. Are you sure? I mean, for the the most part— They would never allow a— I mean— Just water it down host by host, Until the racists are too old To care who replaces him. Shiny. He is shiny. Yeah, um— Let's just face it; Either this dude Is the most perfect man ever Or he's secretly getting laid every week. What's so secret about None of these things. [redacted] Look, there's nothing protecting me from a malicious system, there's nothing protecting you from me writing about you; But hey, at least I'm staying away from The Rock For my own sake This equinox doesn't even have fucking free weights What the fuck! I need a break, What does that mean? The entertainment industry's been Using me for years At some point realizing My infinite creativity Comes from my Inability to have Actually Every really been Loved So. So. No love, then. Seems like it. What about these? Look. I like WHITE DUDES. WHIIIIIIITE. Not brown Not black Not slanted Not Asian, really? UGH. The only reason— —well, not the only reason— I even hated him in the first place is because he WAS so attractive He's breaking 4th wall! Again! Quit breaking character! I am. Stop it. Fuck you, Fallon. —that he just seemed like a douchebag. —is a douchbag! Always trust your gut. There's nothing—and I mean NOTHING that would make me pull up an episode of SNL with fucking FALLON in it. FUCKING FALLON! GODDAMMIT, Dude, let's just think back to a time before OOH. COLORS. THE COLORS. OH. FUCK. Yo dude. Fallon just kind of— Was everywhere for awhile, wasn't he? Yeah..: Yeah. For like, no reason. No reason at all. Yeah. He was just Everywhere I went Everything I saw On everywhere I was GODDAMMIT, For like FIVE YEARS, bro. That's nuts. This is nuts. This is famous. W What. How did he get that famous? Let me in. No, LET ME IN. NO. LET ME OUT. Can't. LET ME OUT OR I'll KILL YOU. Kill me. I don't care. What: I think I scared that man. He had a knife to my throat, and I thought I was done for; I might as well have been. I was homeless, penniless, trapped in North Carolina with nothing at all, no phone, and nobody at all that knew where I was. Nobody at all. I looked him in the eye, Dead on And I told him “Just do it.” Now tell me again what's wrong with me. I— Right. Stay in your lane. Wear your little blue fucking suit, your dress shoes, smile for the camera— And shut the fuck up. Cause if anybody's gonna kill me— It's gonna be me. N sync, it's gonna be me. GODDAMMIT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. NOT NOW. Why not WE'RE HAVING A MOMENT No, we are not. Take it away, boys. So you wouldn't date— After Britney, bro? Awhs. Even if he wasn't married, I was too young for him—but not really— Something in me met in the middle and collided for my attribution to mora decency as if it were anything more than a plot line bustling in my head; and even that was arousing—Patrick and Esha were lovers, so passionate an star crossed that it was hard not to imagine them as I had first saw them//as us, but in a different world, a different lifetime; a love drawn so shaken with a kiss that shattered me, with visions of grief ingrained in my mortal being, and though somewhere he, this Fallon had captured my heart, these were all just actors, mere players upon a stage in which I had no business being on, or searching for; the whole world was in my head. Fuck it, I'm useless. I'm going go back to being useless, then. An idling motif at the end of the block reminded me, I would never be safe or loved again. This was the end of days, and the end of my days, and I only hoped to one day soon be relieved of life itself… [Tales of a Superstar DJ] Once Prosperous to throw the stone asunder Glisten whispers of water Tears of all tears Of time to the altar, For follow for fellow– A felon of antigone, Grace, with shed a tattered tail o flew with feathered Phonix hath feared, forshadowed not, agreed upon, Hoever was, the velvet woven path of us, So honored in her fortress of the trees electromagnetisim robot - mitzvah -31. [As Seen on TV] Stage 9 - Married with Children, I thnk synonyms - a- side antonyms - (B-side) whoever Lentiles Anaheim Peppers Beets “Neo House” For what a withered want would call An honor fortunes fure, gloridied wherein in shadows ast upo flfetions the recate encantment foreward come the One who waits Believing darkness his fate Thank you God, I love you -Blū. DANE COOK Arrives RIGHT ON TIME WTF is THIS. AGAIN. Oh–NO. AM I IN A MOVIE? Ahem… Amen. ILLUMMIIINNAAAAAATTTTTIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!! (lol) JOHNNY DEPP I had the most terrible dream this morning HEWEY LEWIS (reading the news) What was it? [LEWIS + CLARK] [copy + paste] JOHNNY DEPP (CONT'D) I was just HEWEY LEWIS ? JOHNNY DEPP –very– briefly– HEWEY LEWIS Spit it out. JOHNNY DEPP Sober. [beat] HEWEY LEWIS Is that it? JOHNNY DEPP (shrugging, wide-eyed) **face ** Look kid, shit or get off the pot! Not on purpose… But with (always with) GOD You know why I love mormons? Cause the fake straight marriages in the alligience of procreation. That's it. That's amazing, though. To be entirely homosexual–and still marry a member of the opposite sex Just to have kids! WHAT? That's incredible. [The TV People] Katherine Learns of PAt's indedelity and stays quiet about it; She then seduces Paul Peters, and later admits this to Patrick out of guilt. Patrick then uses his pull within the network to have Pau drugged during a large banquet, forcing him to retire to his suite at the hotel early–Patrick then seduces his wife, Linda. Upon leaving the tryst, then run into Paul and Linda's 30-year-old daighter–Linda hurriedly covers for their being seen together, and Patrick uses this as a means to unassumingly seduce her daughter approaching her after the banquet and romancing her quietly, after which his seduction of her is successful, she mentions that her younger sister has always been a huge fan of his, and that she'll be iin town for the weekend–he then uses this information to seduce her younger sister, allowing the older of the two daughters to find out–they begin arguing, and as Linda passes by she overhears the two arguing, angry with Patrick for having decieved her and seducing all three women in the family–Humiliated, She lashes out at Patrick by outinng her daughters to her husband; Confused and realizing that his sudden illness at the banquet was probabl caused by Patrick all along, he begins to panic, going into an acute cardiac arrest and clutching his chest in pain as the result of this quite literal heart attack; He realizes that her obvious anger at the suface is due to the hidden truth that she, too, has been seduced by Patrick; He loses conciousness, and is rushed away to the hospital, his daighters and wife still bickering, but rescued at the very last moment by his youngest, his son Jasper. Later, Patrick visits him in the hospital with ample blackmail and an agreeement, which includes his resignation letter from the company, as a forfiture of his association with The Network, and numerous non-disclosures. He agrees, realizing Patrick's power and pull within The Network is a threat to his life, and family. Patrick's remaining love and trust for Katherine diminishes, and his affairs become less meaningless, as he begins seeking bonds and partnerships outside of his marriage, however maintaining his composure, and even accepting Katherin's pleas for forgiveness. Nobody wants to touch this project. –well, wy not? Because, she's dangerous! –there's blood all over this! –it's cursed blood. the oath (that guy, from 30 rock) Jay something– i think (he plays josh) I'll write it. The omen. the sacrifice. It's over. Don't do this, Jim I have to! It's my only way out of this. You have my eyes on. Why Because. I probably like them, or something. That's my song. And that's my son. All my crosses John Paul “For The Birds” 30 ____ What happened? IT just turned off Turn it ON. We can't! Jesus took the wheel. On all m crosses On all my stars On all my curses On all my Gods Erase M Hexes Remove My Bonds Return my Love Protect My Rick -The God of the Rck. -The Walk from The Plaza A Novel It was a long walk back to Boston Buut the long journey Had just begun [This is The Hook] I'm dead. Well, i'm a monster. THE LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS, I I am PEACE I am LOVE ‘The Pentacles” by The Ace of Wands Contrary to its name, this ritual, dressed as a pelll, adresses to reverse to debilitating effects of a malpracticians curse of black magic, witchcraft, altered Shamanism (to kill or harm rather than to heal), Voodoo, Hexes, Curses, bindings, demonology and Chaos MAgic, or ay magic and or magick with ill intentioned power harmful to the enchaned which may damage them for any given cause with negative effects, or intention. This ritual uses 9 Candles, and is meant to reverse all toxic presenses, repel vilont and putried energies and/or enemies, vanish demons and negative or unwanted lower vibrational energies and dimisih the sender of all harmful intentions of his or her will to hurt, creae gain from the persecution of his or her target, enemy, or subjet, stripping the attacker or abuser of ther power to create, alter or perform all magical tasks, enter higher realms of consiousness, or to make or create energetic bonds, essentially stripping this person (the attacker or abuser) o their ability to further practive any skill or artform within the occult sciences or magical realms; Therefore expelling this evil from any of its intended pathways, and returning it t it's sender, the attacker r abuseer, dismantling the intentions set by the malpracticioner of such, for the harm placed onto its target to amplify, not in retalalitation, however, but as a reflection and concloerate of energy as it will continue to grow in it's path back to the original sender, therefore the ill intention, pain, and or death caused by the misuse or malpractition of such magic immorally or otherwise. This ritual restores it's practitione' ability and will to love beyond boundary, bondage, or servitude within any and all realms, and will remder the original attacker, abuser, or enemy thereby unamee , out of focus, and bonded eternally to the mortal realms; Immortality becomes hereby unattainable, and this evil energy is therefore never to be recycled. All posessions, beings, and objects encanted with this evil spirit or energy are then returned to their normal state. ENLIGHTENMENT All demons used to carry out specific tasks and demolisions within the attacker's amnifestation of evil intention are therefore destroyed; All energies used to dismantle and harm can no longer remain intact, and any residual energy amplified may only hurt, harm, or kill the original attacker. This ritual need not be repeated, as it is set with intention in the assertation of positivity and higher coniousness, to ward off all evil, whether magical or sociao-ppolitical, humanitarian, or otherwise–the intentional creation of harm or heard to another by deadly or harmful force returnsto the attacker, the amplification imminent, not amplified by the spell or ritual it'self, but the energy's velocity within the distance at which it must return to it's sender–the attacker, or abuser. (The hatred and damage will richochet.) Set your true and humble intentions with ink onto pape fold thrice, ad place in the center of your altar. Seal a circle of protetion with your desired symbol or sigil for protection, or multiple of your choosing. Carve your markers with positive, loving intentions. Do not use negative energy to encant your markers or candles. ENCANTMENT: OPEN MY EYES SO THAT I MAY SEE YOU OPEN MY MIND SO THAT I MAY KNOW YOU OPEN MY HEART, SO THAT I BECOME YOU LOVE RELEASE ME FROM ALL HARMFUL TIES THAT BIND STO SEEK TRUTH BEYOND LIGHT SO THAT I MAY BECOME AND RISE ABOVE ALL THAT IS KNOWN TO BEGIN AGAIn WHICH YET UNKNOWN AMEN (AND SO I AM ; SO MOTE IT BE, AND SO IT IS [EBCGABGN+TNEBT =] I'mma just leave that there, but what I meant to say was ENCHANTMENT Which is the adult sequel to ENCHANTED. Which i'm pretty sure was Disney, So idk how to get away with that at all. TINA FEY What's this space. The blackbox. nice . Ca-ching! I got my eye on you (Ū) My ion You are in my eyes You are in my light You are in my life The star that shines, For a reason recently At any given time Day or night Rain or shine [Protective Action Sequence Initiated] I did NOT “OOPS” 3 times! And I only purpled once! LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS, RItual II “Provocotive Nonchalonce” Lol “Nonchaloncé” I love her so much. This ritual/spell shields its castig agent with a seal of positive enlightenment, guarded by truth, tranquility, peace, and light–this rtua will remove any and all intended negative incantations, repels unwanted entitites, negativity, and evil spirits, and reverses any intention of harm, hatred, punishment, or intent to kill or control in any way its caster or practitioner. This frees the performer of the preformer of this ritual from harm, and places the vibration of the practiontioner above any harmful vibrational voids, disturbances toxicity, pain, foul play, and out of the reach o any and all of thosse who intent, which, think, gain value from, and;or speak, write, or percieve back liuck, ill will, inequality, unjust actions against, or the pollution of energy., take action toward intrusive thought, or psychick attack; This shielf also protets rom misuse of the given name, attack on the soi or spirit, and will dismantle thoghts, wods, and actions taken against the joyful and wtf PAIGE THE PAGE wtf is this KENNETH LIZ LEMON KENNETH put you up to this, didn't he?! He didn't! He didn't! –peaceful, enjyable fufullment of one's hopes, dreams, positive energy, prpose, and dutie, with respect to its practitioner as a ritual protection, for great abundance in all things one wishes to achieve in waking life, and ties beyond the boundaries of all realms and dimensions, concious and unsoncious* lol Unconcious! COME! I'm guessing it's just UNSONICIOUS. [defintiion: soncially unpleasant, in some or any way] Wow, the greeks again. I guess. –Consious and unconsious– LEO DICAPRIO MATT DAMON [ENTER THROUGH THE EXIT] {Enter The multiverse} Welcome to New York! lol the entrance IS the exit R e v o l v e r We gotta get back there! Yes. But first ALI You must see this. JET You must to see this, to. MATT DAMON goes to BELLA PIZZA in the small and desolate truck-stop interstate town of MESQUITE, NEVADA PIZZA PORTAL I went from DKNY To BKNY b2K can kills my JZ ENVY my IVY league Sen PAI SEND PIE For this guy, please! He just did THinking to get This high Ride This bike Right to sleep Try this Cry-CyLCLE Keep writing –infinite, to reate an aura of sety withinon'e energetic field, at any given time. Place your altar as such NORTH WEST EAST SOUTH FOR ALL THAT EXISTS WITHIN REACH OF MY EYES AND EARS AND SO WITHIN, LIES MY BODY AND SOUL, LET ONLY THERE BE PEACE, LOVE TRANQUIITY, RESPECT, HOPE, HAPINESS, JOY, AND GREAT STRENGTH, SO THAT ALL I AM AND ALL I FIND IS BEAUTY, ART, SUCCESS, ABUNDANCE, WEALTH, FAITH, HEALTH, AND LIGHT, SO THAT ALL THE WORLD IS TO BE GREATER MADE FROM MY PRESENCE, WHICH WILL PASS INFINITEL THROUGHOUT ALL THAT I AM, ALL THAT I DO, AND ALL THAT I MAKE, AND ALL THAT I BECOME, A BEACON OF LOE AND LAUGTER,CREATION, AND EVOLUTION, THROUGHOUT ALL PLACES I INHABIT, AND ALL THINGS WHICH INHABIT TO EXIST THROUGH ME. AMEN (So mote it be) [and so it is done] WITH THANKS, I AM. Synthetic kick bass snare stick hit hard 963hz – 96.5hz Apache –Fuck Boy Got the whole squad doing whoop-whoops That's a good job, But i fucked up nah Gotta be a Rockstar I'm a God, God! deng Miley, What the fuck. wurly (durly) piano. Piano Chorch Chop2 Paradise. Feel like i”m winning a race ya ! I should go buy a race car pencil , no pen I'll erase ya my niggaz is fighting a race war sorry ! (Not) you started it (hah) I'll finish it (brah This ain't no nerf gun I'll make you nervous on Broadway. (NO!) This is a one-way Stay in your lane! Ride the wave, like SURFBOARD SURFBOARD This is my turf, hon I'll ake you walk in a rain storm. -31. -31. -31. Stirl it up like I'm Bob Marley Your curses can't hurt me! They called me up I'mma cat call you, I'm Johnny Bravo JOHNNY BRAVO Oooohhh, Mama! I'm JOHNNY DEPP I got laid At the oscars. Whats up. 311! SURFBORD -31! Shut up (bitch) Shut up (bitch Shut up (bitch) -31. They calling me JOhnny Bravo Bravo! I got a whole show On my oscars They called me a Shut up! (Bitch) 31 31. YOU FUCKED RUSSEL BRAND?! EVERYBOD FUCKED RUSSEL BRAND. CUT TO : BEFORE: RUSSELL BRAND Where is everyone? Ū :eyes …I'm everyone… RUSSELL BRAND –Right! :eyes [beat] So that I shall livevicaiously and victoriously in love through all great ones Who come before me, so that I shall inspire those who come after, In light, in loe, in art, in life, in music, in film, on stage, and off–to live and love wholly by the grace of all that be [EXCERPT FROM] [THE TV PEOPLE] [It is pouring rain; PATRICK has been following ESHA around after work in her daily outings, though for quite some time, only now making himself known.] PATRICK …Esha… ESHA –Patrick?! Did you follow me here? PATRICK Yes.. ESHA Why? PATRICK Esha– ESHA (knowingly) –Don't. PATRICK (CONT'D) I love you. ESHA Don't! PATRICK Well, I do. ESHA You know what, Patrick, stop it. PATRICK I can't. ESHA You can. You have to, actually, goddammit – Do you understand? PATRICK I don't understand, Esh… ESHA You are a bleeding heart. PATRICK –I'm a bleeding, bloody– Everything—-everything....! [He attempts to hold his wounded wrist against her own; she calmly but firmly removes his embrace, gripping him, before gently letting him go; his arms fall to his sides, freexing for a moment, then cluthing the collar of his partially open jacket; They are soaked.] ESHA That's not what I meant, Pat. BOOM. HEADSHOTS IN MY DMS BUNK BED THOUGHTS LIKE TWO AT A T-MS FUCK YOU COUGHS, STOP STEALING MY ™ s THIS PHOTO THOT IS CONFUSED AS THE DEMONS! YOU JUST TRYNA BE ME CAUSE YOU SEEN HIM 2 DROPS DOGBLOOD LEAK IN MY DREAMIN TOO MUC PROCESSED THOUHTS IN HYA SCHEMIN YOU'RE UNOROGINAL WORLD IS JUST ME AT THE EE-ND. We are not alike We are the same I know nothing about you But your name Apparently, I'm famous Now we made the game And keep on playing. Wtf. Dtf? Idk. Ū? lol Kk. rofl CUT BACK TO Lol wtf man This is THE LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS like In order. Lol Ok [THE TV PEOPLE] PATRICK What do you mean?! Stop speaking in metaphores! You're like a– ESHA Like a what? [beat] PATRICK (reflectively) Like a puzzle. I love puzzles. – PATRICK/ ESHA CONT'D (Simultaneosly) –you know that. –I know that. ESHA Look, Pat. This has to stop! PATRICK It can't stop. It doesn't stop. I'LL EXPOSE YOU ON OPRAH TAKE YOUR WHOLE NOTEBOOK ROLL, AND SMOKE ALL YOUR DOPE UP! CLOSE UP ALL YOUR CHAKRAS BEAT YOU, THEN CHOKE YA EAT YOU ALL UP LIKE A FRUIT ROLL UP! Jealosy Could never be a friend to me Vanity Could never be the end of me [The Enemy of my Enemy is Into Me; The Enemy of my Enemy is–] c o l o r s ft. C'cxell Soleïl Continuum Conundrum Loop3r [THE TV PEOPLE] ESHA It has to; for your own sake! Look at you, Pat. PATRICK Look at YOU! ESHA Me? I'm a ery low rung on this very high ladder–you know that; Or do you? Do you even realize how high up the ladder you are? PATRICK ..Too high up . ESHA At the top! PATRICK –Not the top. Almost… ESHA Exactly So why look so far below when your ‘almost' i something I can't even see? Damn. This shit gets deep. Yeah. THE LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS, RITUAL III ‘The Beholder of The Eye' by The Eye of the Beholder rarity- A track inspired as a sonic interpretation of each stage at EDC As Seen on TV Happy Accidents, Ū, c o l o r s, TBA The Great Adventures of Uptown A Uptown A Project 3 Sunni Blu -the kidd -31. INZO– PATRICK Would you believe me at all If I told you that the ladder Was on it's side? ESHA Now you're speaking in metaphores. PATRICK Well, solve this puzzle, then– Where you are–I am. I'm no above you, I'm beside you– And if you look–not up, But right, You will see the top, And everything in between You'll see everything. ESHA Trust me– PATRICK –I do trust you. ESHA (CON'T) –I've seen enough. PATRICK Trust me–there's more. [THE TV PEOPLE] The questionable impulses and innate habits adding up to the lovable antics of a popular late night funny man land him in a seemingly downward spiral, and maybe even a whole new world of trouble. Action, Comedy, Adventure, Fantasy COPYRIGHT 2023, THE FESTIVAL PROJECT COPYRIGHT 2024 THE COMPLEX COLLEVTIVE ALL RIGHTS RESERVED [JIMMY FALLON (F) prepares to shoot himself in his office.] THE LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS RITUAL IV PROSPERITY “A Call TO THe Candula” By The Keeper of The Keys Infinite and expasive wealth, income, prosperity, success, and abundance in all dimensionand reals of existence for the practitioner of this rtual; Ensures and quick windfall of both expected and unexpected lump sums of money in large amounts and quantities. Opens foors for new opportunities and growth, and creates the wholeness of financies, security. Allows for growth and expanse in success, accomplishments od goals and endeavors, and grants access to skills and talents within ones gie feild of choice. Find the Scene from Bobby where they trip LSD and end up naked to INITIALS from HAIR. Cell phone tripod Drea Catcher Essential Oils Mini Banana Breads Mini Boxes Tiny Mirrors head to Head Neck and Neck We Intertwined THE LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS RITUAL V ‘For Your Consideration' By The Academy Immidiate recovery of all time, enery, and money lost–triple and quantiy all sums of– Uh oh. What happened. SUPACREE and CHRISTOPHER WALKEN are BIRTHDAY TWINS Thank You Gd For multiplying each dollar marked [Jimmy Fallon[ By my hand by one million US dollars, fo a starting total of Eight Million Dollars, Which I shall recieve immidiately. I will be a millionare this year, beginning on my birthday March 31, A day to be celebrated and enjoyed by all. Thank you Fod for the talent and strength, charisma, skill, and knowledge to Continue to rise in fame, status, and wealth, within the entertainment industry, as a musician, artist, writer, photofrapher, fillmaker, fashion designer, author, poet, dancer, singer, and actress; Thank you for suppluing endless wealth, abundance, income, success, financial freedom, and monetary gain. I ask humbly and thank you for providing these funds, as I am certain this tie will be full of income, profit, great opportunities, lots of money, [ower, resect, and endless growth in business, With great success. Please and thank you for multiplying these $20 immmediately by at least Three times each, so that with each twenty dollars, I earn $60, to multiply ths profit exponentially. Thank you for your continued protetion from my abusers, for shielding me from toxicity and mistrst, and proteting my most valued allies, friends, family, and peers. Amen. Do you think it'll work? [CHRISTOPHER WALKEN shrugs, placing his hood back atop his head, sweeping his long robe from the ground, as he holds the lantern over the alter] [CLOUDONE] Cocaina, Migos All Along The Watchtower, Jimi Hindrix Just around The Riverbend, Pocahontas I need A Doctor, Eminem, Dre. [I AM WEALTHY] Look, You don't kick the horse, Jjust because it won't ley Prickly Pear Waffles Taking my driver's test in a G-Wagon All my Best friends I was down in the W's I was down at the W I was down in the W's (Huh.) {F. R. I. E. N. D. S. Mix} The DJs are playing lazer tag– pew-pew –but like– forreal, though. [THE TV PEOPLE] Lol Esha's Rock garden. MAYA RUDOLPH The scientist, however, not mad, But a genius, who practicies “Alternative medicine” What is this. It's my penis. *squints* {nods} “The Secret President” (Of The Network) MAYA party lines members of THE IMPENATRABLE TEN. Hey guys. Hey. Hi. Do you want to like… *squints* Come over, or something? … For some reason, yes , actually. MAYA yes? yes , actually. I am your mind I am I am your eye I am I am your time I am I am you sign I am {FACTORY 93} One time, I went out to Norf Car'lina (One Time) On time Cousin went out to Atlanta (One time) (-31) One time, I learnt to play piano (One time) One time, I forgot to wea Pajamas (31) One time, I forgot to turn the lights on (one time) One time, I woke up and started shining (One time) One time, Oh my God! Yeah– What– Woah. What!? One time– -31. I'm the Jesus Christ of all saints hospital A dumb doctor Rodger that, rabbit Or just {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT c. 2018 - 2024 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

Now my days are shattered My heart is scattered Around down, Fowl feathers of the night owl Dancing in my head In given nightgowns Right now Put the candle out Put the light on Every night, I'm gone Wandering around In the eye of the camera, My orb Falcon turned to black panther I prance around in a dance robe Like a disaster Put it out there, Just so I can't go back Pass the cake Pass the butter Pass the late night hatred Pass away the day praying For the faithless And their fake friends, but I digress Once the cameras are rolling A job's to be done For the funny men of us Are undercover Dressing up the dead And most disgusting sinister The winded wonder bread apostles I am a robot god I am born again in acid rain Something changed me Here's to the late night I hope he hates me —I hope I'm right, at least I hate being right— But I'm always right. Right hand over my bathroom counter Stacked up attacks on the Muslims But I love em Or I want to Hot tub The doctor Don't worry, loser Viewerships down to two downloads According to the numbers My demographic is faggots and players of forenig I have a habit for magic Addiction to alphas, You know? I'm a God I'm a robot I was washed in the acid rain —- Take the back of my neck like an animal Yes sir Put my hair in your hands Pull me back, Like an animal Up the ante Up in the air is my ass In a past life I had to have you Now I stand I higher grounds I'm higher now Coming up next A deeper addiction Coming up next A deeper dicking John Wiccan Coming up next Change the channel, coming over Move em up The winners circle Then move over. I lit a candle for another lover A real one , With a body and mind The tide of my soul wants to know you Behold, way below deck Deep dick Imm in deep shit now Way below the belt Blow all my hole on the dope fiend Do you want to know me A piñata full of chocolate Ive got a new list And you're not on it Aagain with this Again with the What's in my head It's a letter said Never forget this Forget this Forget this Tell me how to be like this To get a man like that To get a real deep dick That's way below deck I should settle for less Just to get my head better Some medical man Or some meth Just to finish this project I could protect a protector with holes in his pockets, The proctor The trophy, Two daughters And another one Here's goes the show I'm way too old for this I just need one good Fred Again Who knows how to hide he's a man But conspired Admirers, You know what it is? A deep dick, man Way, below deck Way below the belt Get ahold of him Ring the phone again I been calling on Collin Coleen is more polished It's brother sister sameness, Same mess for the colonizer White on white is Right on right I'm just behind you Way under the bridge Belt around my head to make it better I'll see you in heaven Out of Manhattan Where trash is the precipice Never better Bodies in perfection Where it went And where it goes again I'll see you then So apparently— Shh Wrong document great! Now we gotta figure out why apparently— [JENNIFER ANNISTON has a vendetta against JIMMY FALLON] What. For WHAT?! Idk, what did you do to this bitch? What did I say?! What did you do?! JENNIFER ANNISTON I'm not finished with you, yet! WHAT? I don't know. Apparently, Goddammit. Wait. What. So he's a genius, right? Yeah, I guess. Which means he's like—socially inept in some kind of way…. Yeah! Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Flashback: Like: the 90's, or whatever. …are you turning me down? Wait. So I just shapeshifted into J-Lo Before. Hello. hello: Yeah. We could have done it. Ew. But we didn't. Ew. I mean: Cut back to: Nobody turns me down! Not even me! Alright. There's something off about that dude. Maybe he's gay… Hm. He not gay. He very not gay. Hm. See, I knew it. He's a good guy! [REDACTED] He's a MONSTER! He's an ANIMAL. WOOOOOOOOOOF . Oh man, that guy is a WOOF. I'm a DOG. Skrillex? I'm a dog Heeeeeeeeeeee Baby Heeeeeeeeee Damn, this fools got a whole list of celebrity ass bitches —a list celebrity. CUT BACK TO I'M SUPER HOT. Hmhm. I know. Listen. Okay, Jennifer Aniston. Are you trying to fuck Jimmy Fallon?! NO! Okay, good. God no. That's— Wait, why NOT?! —I need way more than a million dollars. I knew it! It's about the money. It's actually not about the money. Wait, no, it's not? No. …then what is it? Yo. Okay, so Everybody likes his genetics. And I mean like FUCK IT, I WANT HIM. This one. I want this one! Right here. ICE CREAM. GET YOUR ICE CREAM. Okay, imm not supposed to tell you this but— What. I'm— JOHNNY CARSON LOOK AT ME. Ah, well, alright TAG, YOURE IT. DAMN, you're good. Okay, I'm stoned. Damn. I got a boner. Cool. JLO look at me . I see you. You do see me. You know why? …yes. I am a-list. I get that. That's priority level ho status. Uhhh—- Ben affleck. That's real?! Some other guy— This guy. Wait, But that Fallon motherfucker?! [Redacted] He turned me down! Hey, so, uh— No thanks. WHAT. *shrugs. * BITCH. Look, okay, I'm not touching this. Why NOT, His WIFE is CUTE. Dawwwe. Gangsta. Oh, no, you know what?! What? You're gonna write this— And you're gonna like it. Pass. PASS?! Yes. I am not going to attack Fallon. ATTACK. THINK OF THE KIDZZZZZZ. That is a nice midlife crisis. Yikes. Aaaaaahhh. Wow. What happened. I shifted Fallon. And then wa— I think I died. I'm dying. I'm dying. You're probably right. My right to write this Is your right to remain a public figure For this cyclical fan fiction I suck dicks for a living And inhale tlevision Schizophrenic sickness Illuminati, predictive Programmings I'm so spamming These hoes Hoping I slit writsts (Only my own though) So Most of the late night guys are Conviniently enough Irish In some way or another Probably because Predictive programming targets the demographic of Somewhat You know what?! Nevermind, I'm not writing this. I get it though. I think they're hiding something. Are you sure he's not even just a little Asian. Positive. Or like, adopted. No. Are you sure? I mean, for the the most part— They would never allow a— I mean— Just water it down host by host, Until the racists are too old To care who replaces him. Shiny. He is shiny. Yeah, um— Let's just face it; Either this dude Is the most perfect man ever Or he's secretly getting laid every week. What's so secret about None of these things. [redacted] Look, there's nothing protecting me from a malicious system, there's nothing protecting you from me writing about you; But hey, at least I'm staying away from The Rock For my own sake This equinox doesn't even have fucking free weights What the fuck! I need a break, What does that mean? The entertainment industry's been Using me for years At some point realizing My infinite creativity Comes from my Inability to have Actually Every really been Loved So. So. No love, then. Seems like it. What about these? Look. I like WHITE DUDES. WHIIIIIIITE. Not brown Not black Not slanted Not Asian, really? UGH. The only reason— —well, not the only reason— I even hated him in the first place is because he WAS so attractive He's breaking 4th wall! Again! Quit breaking character! I am. Stop it. Fuck you, Fallon. —that he just seemed like a douchebag. —is a douchbag! Always trust your gut. There's nothing—and I mean NOTHING that would make me pull up an episode of SNL with fucking FALLON in it. FUCKING FALLON! GODDAMMIT, Dude, let's just think back to a time before OOH. COLORS. THE COLORS. OH. FUCK. Yo dude. Fallon just kind of— Was everywhere for awhile, wasn't he? Yeah..: Yeah. For like, no reason. No reason at all. Yeah. He was just Everywhere I went Everything I saw On everywhere I was GODDAMMIT, For like FIVE YEARS, bro. That's nuts. This is nuts. This is famous. W What. How did he get that famous? Let me in. No, LET ME IN. NO. LET ME OUT. Can't. LET ME OUT OR I'll KILL YOU. Kill me. I don't care. What: I think I scared that man. He had a knife to my throat, and I thought I was done for; I might as well have been. I was homeless, penniless, trapped in North Carolina with nothing at all, no phone, and nobody at all that knew where I was. Nobody at all. I looked him in the eye, Dead on And I told him “Just do it.” Now tell me again what's wrong with me. I— Right. Stay in your lane. Wear your little blue fucking suit, your dress shoes, smile for the camera— And shut the fuck up. Cause if anybody's gonna kill me— It's gonna be me. N sync, it's gonna be me. GODDAMMIT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. NOT NOW. Why not WE'RE HAVING A MOMENT No, we are not. Take it away, boys. So you wouldn't date— After Britney, bro? Awhs. Even if he wasn't married, I was too young for him—but not really— Something in me met in the middle and collided for my attribution to mora decency as if it were anything more than a plot line bustling in my head; and even that was arousing—Patrick and Esha were lovers, so passionate an star crossed that it was hard not to imagine them as I had first saw them//as us, but in a different world, a different lifetime; a love drawn so shaken with a kiss that shattered me, with visions of grief ingrained in my mortal being, and though somewhere he, this Fallon had captured my heart, these were all just actors, mere players upon a stage in which I had no business being on, or searching for; the whole world was in my head. Fuck it, I'm useless. I'm going go back to being useless, then. An idling motif at the end of the block reminded me, I would never be safe or loved again. This was the end of days, and the end of my days, and I only hoped to one day soon be relieved of life itself… [Tales of a Superstar DJ] Once Prosperous to throw the stone asunder Glisten whispers of water Tears of all tears Of time to the altar, For follow for fellow– A felon of antigone, Grace, with shed a tattered tail o flew with feathered Phonix hath feared, forshadowed not, agreed upon, Hoever was, the velvet woven path of us, So honored in her fortress of the trees electromagnetisim robot - mitzvah -31. [As Seen on TV] Stage 9 - Married with Children, I thnk synonyms - a- side antonyms - (B-side) whoever Lentiles Anaheim Peppers Beets “Neo House” For what a withered want would call An honor fortunes fure, gloridied wherein in shadows ast upo flfetions the recate encantment foreward come the One who waits Believing darkness his fate Thank you God, I love you -Blū. DANE COOK Arrives RIGHT ON TIME WTF is THIS. AGAIN. Oh–NO. AM I IN A MOVIE? Ahem… Amen. ILLUMMIIINNAAAAAATTTTTIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!! (lol) JOHNNY DEPP I had the most terrible dream this morning HEWEY LEWIS (reading the news) What was it? [LEWIS + CLARK] [copy + paste] JOHNNY DEPP (CONT'D) I was just HEWEY LEWIS ? JOHNNY DEPP –very– briefly– HEWEY LEWIS Spit it out. JOHNNY DEPP Sober. [beat] HEWEY LEWIS Is that it? JOHNNY DEPP (shrugging, wide-eyed) **face ** Look kid, shit or get off the pot! Not on purpose… But with (always with) GOD You know why I love mormons? Cause the fake straight marriages in the alligience of procreation. That's it. That's amazing, though. To be entirely homosexual–and still marry a member of the opposite sex Just to have kids! WHAT? That's incredible. [The TV People] Katherine Learns of PAt's indedelity and stays quiet about it; She then seduces Paul Peters, and later admits this to Patrick out of guilt. Patrick then uses his pull within the network to have Pau drugged during a large banquet, forcing him to retire to his suite at the hotel early–Patrick then seduces his wife, Linda. Upon leaving the tryst, then run into Paul and Linda's 30-year-old daighter–Linda hurriedly covers for their being seen together, and Patrick uses this as a means to unassumingly seduce her daughter approaching her after the banquet and romancing her quietly, after which his seduction of her is successful, she mentions that her younger sister has always been a huge fan of his, and that she'll be iin town for the weekend–he then uses this information to seduce her younger sister, allowing the older of the two daughters to find out–they begin arguing, and as Linda passes by she overhears the two arguing, angry with Patrick for having decieved her and seducing all three women in the family–Humiliated, She lashes out at Patrick by outinng her daughters to her husband; Confused and realizing that his sudden illness at the banquet was probabl caused by Patrick all along, he begins to panic, going into an acute cardiac arrest and clutching his chest in pain as the result of this quite literal heart attack; He realizes that her obvious anger at the suface is due to the hidden truth that she, too, has been seduced by Patrick; He loses conciousness, and is rushed away to the hospital, his daighters and wife still bickering, but rescued at the very last moment by his youngest, his son Jasper. Later, Patrick visits him in the hospital with ample blackmail and an agreeement, which includes his resignation letter from the company, as a forfiture of his association with The Network, and numerous non-disclosures. He agrees, realizing Patrick's power and pull within The Network is a threat to his life, and family. Patrick's remaining love and trust for Katherine diminishes, and his affairs become less meaningless, as he begins seeking bonds and partnerships outside of his marriage, however maintaining his composure, and even accepting Katherin's pleas for forgiveness. Nobody wants to touch this project. –well, wy not? Because, she's dangerous! –there's blood all over this! –it's cursed blood. the oath (that guy, from 30 rock) Jay something– i think (he plays josh) I'll write it. The omen. the sacrifice. It's over. Don't do this, Jim I have to! It's my only way out of this. You have my eyes on. Why Because. I probably like them, or something. That's my song. And that's my son. All my crosses John Paul “For The Birds” 30 ____ What happened? IT just turned off Turn it ON. We can't! Jesus took the wheel. On all m crosses On all my stars On all my curses On all my Gods Erase M Hexes Remove My Bonds Return my Love Protect My Rick -The God of the Rck. -The Walk from The Plaza A Novel It was a long walk back to Boston Buut the long journey Had just begun [This is The Hook] I'm dead. Well, i'm a monster. THE LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS, I I am PEACE I am LOVE ‘The Pentacles” by The Ace of Wands Contrary to its name, this ritual, dressed as a pelll, adresses to reverse to debilitating effects of a malpracticians curse of black magic, witchcraft, altered Shamanism (to kill or harm rather than to heal), Voodoo, Hexes, Curses, bindings, demonology and Chaos MAgic, or ay magic and or magick with ill intentioned power harmful to the enchaned which may damage them for any given cause with negative effects, or intention. This ritual uses 9 Candles, and is meant to reverse all toxic presenses, repel vilont and putried energies and/or enemies, vanish demons and negative or unwanted lower vibrational energies and dimisih the sender of all harmful intentions of his or her will to hurt, creae gain from the persecution of his or her target, enemy, or subjet, stripping the attacker or abuser of ther power to create, alter or perform all magical tasks, enter higher realms of consiousness, or to make or create energetic bonds, essentially stripping this person (the attacker or abuser) o their ability to further practive any skill or artform within the occult sciences or magical realms; Therefore expelling this evil from any of its intended pathways, and returning it t it's sender, the attacker r abuseer, dismantling the intentions set by the malpracticioner of such, for the harm placed onto its target to amplify, not in retalalitation, however, but as a reflection and concloerate of energy as it will continue to grow in it's path back to the original sender, therefore the ill intention, pain, and or death caused by the misuse or malpractition of such magic immorally or otherwise. This ritual restores it's practitione' ability and will to love beyond boundary, bondage, or servitude within any and all realms, and will remder the original attacker, abuser, or enemy thereby unamee , out of focus, and bonded eternally to the mortal realms; Immortality becomes hereby unattainable, and this evil energy is therefore never to be recycled. All posessions, beings, and objects encanted with this evil spirit or energy are then returned to their normal state. ENLIGHTENMENT All demons used to carry out specific tasks and demolisions within the attacker's amnifestation of evil intention are therefore destroyed; All energies used to dismantle and harm can no longer remain intact, and any residual energy amplified may only hurt, harm, or kill the original attacker. This ritual need not be repeated, as it is set with intention in the assertation of positivity and higher coniousness, to ward off all evil, whether magical or sociao-ppolitical, humanitarian, or otherwise–the intentional creation of harm or heard to another by deadly or harmful force returnsto the attacker, the amplification imminent, not amplified by the spell or ritual it'self, but the energy's velocity within the distance at which it must return to it's sender–the attacker, or abuser. (The hatred and damage will richochet.) Set your true and humble intentions with ink onto pape fold thrice, ad place in the center of your altar. Seal a circle of protetion with your desired symbol or sigil for protection, or multiple of your choosing. Carve your markers with positive, loving intentions. Do not use negative energy to encant your markers or candles. ENCANTMENT: OPEN MY EYES SO THAT I MAY SEE YOU OPEN MY MIND SO THAT I MAY KNOW YOU OPEN MY HEART, SO THAT I BECOME YOU LOVE RELEASE ME FROM ALL HARMFUL TIES THAT BIND STO SEEK TRUTH BEYOND LIGHT SO THAT I MAY BECOME AND RISE ABOVE ALL THAT IS KNOWN TO BEGIN AGAIn WHICH YET UNKNOWN AMEN (AND SO I AM ; SO MOTE IT BE, AND SO IT IS [EBCGABGN+TNEBT =] I'mma just leave that there, but what I meant to say was ENCHANTMENT Which is the adult sequel to ENCHANTED. Which i'm pretty sure was Disney, So idk how to get away with that at all. TINA FEY What's this space. The blackbox. nice . Ca-ching! I got my eye on you (Ū) My ion You are in my eyes You are in my light You are in my life The star that shines, For a reason recently At any given time Day or night Rain or shine [Protective Action Sequence Initiated] I did NOT “OOPS” 3 times! And I only purpled once! LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS, RItual II “Provocotive Nonchalonce” Lol “Nonchaloncé” I love her so much. This ritual/spell shields its castig agent with a seal of positive enlightenment, guarded by truth, tranquility, peace, and light–this rtua will remove any and all intended negative incantations, repels unwanted entitites, negativity, and evil spirits, and reverses any intention of harm, hatred, punishment, or intent to kill or control in any way its caster or practitioner. This frees the performer of the preformer of this ritual from harm, and places the vibration of the practiontioner above any harmful vibrational voids, disturbances toxicity, pain, foul play, and out of the reach o any and all of thosse who intent, which, think, gain value from, and;or speak, write, or percieve back liuck, ill will, inequality, unjust actions against, or the pollution of energy., take action toward intrusive thought, or psychick attack; This shielf also protets rom misuse of the given name, attack on the soi or spirit, and will dismantle thoghts, wods, and actions taken against the joyful and wtf PAIGE THE PAGE wtf is this KENNETH LIZ LEMON KENNETH put you up to this, didn't he?! He didn't! He didn't! –peaceful, enjyable fufullment of one's hopes, dreams, positive energy, prpose, and dutie, with respect to its practitioner as a ritual protection, for great abundance in all things one wishes to achieve in waking life, and ties beyond the boundaries of all realms and dimensions, concious and unsoncious* lol Unconcious! COME! I'm guessing it's just UNSONICIOUS. [defintiion: soncially unpleasant, in some or any way] Wow, the greeks again. I guess. –Consious and unconsious– LEO DICAPRIO MATT DAMON [ENTER THROUGH THE EXIT] {Enter The multiverse} Welcome to New York! lol the entrance IS the exit R e v o l v e r We gotta get back there! Yes. But first ALI You must see this. JET You must to see this, to. MATT DAMON goes to BELLA PIZZA in the small and desolate truck-stop interstate town of MESQUITE, NEVADA PIZZA PORTAL I went from DKNY To BKNY b2K can kills my JZ ENVY my IVY league Sen PAI SEND PIE For this guy, please! He just did THinking to get This high Ride This bike Right to sleep Try this Cry-CyLCLE Keep writing –infinite, to reate an aura of sety withinon'e energetic field, at any given time. Place your altar as such NORTH WEST EAST SOUTH FOR ALL THAT EXISTS WITHIN REACH OF MY EYES AND EARS AND SO WITHIN, LIES MY BODY AND SOUL, LET ONLY THERE BE PEACE, LOVE TRANQUIITY, RESPECT, HOPE, HAPINESS, JOY, AND GREAT STRENGTH, SO THAT ALL I AM AND ALL I FIND IS BEAUTY, ART, SUCCESS, ABUNDANCE, WEALTH, FAITH, HEALTH, AND LIGHT, SO THAT ALL THE WORLD IS TO BE GREATER MADE FROM MY PRESENCE, WHICH WILL PASS INFINITEL THROUGHOUT ALL THAT I AM, ALL THAT I DO, AND ALL THAT I MAKE, AND ALL THAT I BECOME, A BEACON OF LOE AND LAUGTER,CREATION, AND EVOLUTION, THROUGHOUT ALL PLACES I INHABIT, AND ALL THINGS WHICH INHABIT TO EXIST THROUGH ME. AMEN (So mote it be) [and so it is done] WITH THANKS, I AM. Synthetic kick bass snare stick hit hard 963hz – 96.5hz Apache –Fuck Boy Got the whole squad doing whoop-whoops That's a good job, But i fucked up nah Gotta be a Rockstar I'm a God, God! deng Miley, What the fuck. wurly (durly) piano. Piano Chorch Chop2 Paradise. Feel like i”m winning a race ya ! I should go buy a race car pencil , no pen I'll erase ya my niggaz is fighting a race war sorry ! (Not) you started it (hah) I'll finish it (brah This ain't no nerf gun I'll make you nervous on Broadway. (NO!) This is a one-way Stay in your lane! Ride the wave, like SURFBOARD SURFBOARD This is my turf, hon I'll ake you walk in a rain storm. -31. -31. -31. Stirl it up like I'm Bob Marley Your curses can't hurt me! They called me up I'mma cat call you, I'm Johnny Bravo JOHNNY BRAVO Oooohhh, Mama! I'm JOHNNY DEPP I got laid At the oscars. Whats up. 311! SURFBORD -31! Shut up (bitch) Shut up (bitch Shut up (bitch) -31. They calling me JOhnny Bravo Bravo! I got a whole show On my oscars They called me a Shut up! (Bitch) 31 31. YOU FUCKED RUSSEL BRAND?! EVERYBOD FUCKED RUSSEL BRAND. CUT TO : BEFORE: RUSSELL BRAND Where is everyone? Ū :eyes …I'm everyone… RUSSELL BRAND –Right! :eyes [beat] So that I shall livevicaiously and victoriously in love through all great ones Who come before me, so that I shall inspire those who come after, In light, in loe, in art, in life, in music, in film, on stage, and off–to live and love wholly by the grace of all that be [EXCERPT FROM] [THE TV PEOPLE] [It is pouring rain; PATRICK has been following ESHA around after work in her daily outings, though for quite some time, only now making himself known.] PATRICK …Esha… ESHA –Patrick?! Did you follow me here? PATRICK Yes.. ESHA Why? PATRICK Esha– ESHA (knowingly) –Don't. PATRICK (CONT'D) I love you. ESHA Don't! PATRICK Well, I do. ESHA You know what, Patrick, stop it. PATRICK I can't. ESHA You can. You have to, actually, goddammit – Do you understand? PATRICK I don't understand, Esh… ESHA You are a bleeding heart. PATRICK –I'm a bleeding, bloody– Everything—-everything....! [He attempts to hold his wounded wrist against her own; she calmly but firmly removes his embrace, gripping him, before gently letting him go; his arms fall to his sides, freexing for a moment, then cluthing the collar of his partially open jacket; They are soaked.] ESHA That's not what I meant, Pat. BOOM. HEADSHOTS IN MY DMS BUNK BED THOUGHTS LIKE TWO AT A T-MS FUCK YOU COUGHS, STOP STEALING MY ™ s THIS PHOTO THOT IS CONFUSED AS THE DEMONS! YOU JUST TRYNA BE ME CAUSE YOU SEEN HIM 2 DROPS DOGBLOOD LEAK IN MY DREAMIN TOO MUC PROCESSED THOUHTS IN HYA SCHEMIN YOU'RE UNOROGINAL WORLD IS JUST ME AT THE EE-ND. We are not alike We are the same I know nothing about you But your name Apparently, I'm famous Now we made the game And keep on playing. Wtf. Dtf? Idk. Ū? lol Kk. rofl CUT BACK TO Lol wtf man This is THE LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS like In order. Lol Ok [THE TV PEOPLE] PATRICK What do you mean?! Stop speaking in metaphores! You're like a– ESHA Like a what? [beat] PATRICK (reflectively) Like a puzzle. I love puzzles. – PATRICK/ ESHA CONT'D (Simultaneosly) –you know that. –I know that. ESHA Look, Pat. This has to stop! PATRICK It can't stop. It doesn't stop. I'LL EXPOSE YOU ON OPRAH TAKE YOUR WHOLE NOTEBOOK ROLL, AND SMOKE ALL YOUR DOPE UP! CLOSE UP ALL YOUR CHAKRAS BEAT YOU, THEN CHOKE YA EAT YOU ALL UP LIKE A FRUIT ROLL UP! Jealosy Could never be a friend to me Vanity Could never be the end of me [The Enemy of my Enemy is Into Me; The Enemy of my Enemy is–] c o l o r s ft. C'cxell Soleïl Continuum Conundrum Loop3r [THE TV PEOPLE] ESHA It has to; for your own sake! Look at you, Pat. PATRICK Look at YOU! ESHA Me? I'm a ery low rung on this very high ladder–you know that; Or do you? Do you even realize how high up the ladder you are? PATRICK ..Too high up . ESHA At the top! PATRICK –Not the top. Almost… ESHA Exactly So why look so far below when your ‘almost' i something I can't even see? Damn. This shit gets deep. Yeah. THE LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS, RITUAL III ‘The Beholder of The Eye' by The Eye of the Beholder rarity- A track inspired as a sonic interpretation of each stage at EDC As Seen on TV Happy Accidents, Ū, c o l o r s, TBA The Great Adventures of Uptown A Uptown A Project 3 Sunni Blu -the kidd -31. INZO– PATRICK Would you believe me at all If I told you that the ladder Was on it's side? ESHA Now you're speaking in metaphores. PATRICK Well, solve this puzzle, then– Where you are–I am. I'm no above you, I'm beside you– And if you look–not up, But right, You will see the top, And everything in between You'll see everything. ESHA Trust me– PATRICK –I do trust you. ESHA (CON'T) –I've seen enough. PATRICK Trust me–there's more. [THE TV PEOPLE] The questionable impulses and innate habits adding up to the lovable antics of a popular late night funny man land him in a seemingly downward spiral, and maybe even a whole new world of trouble. Action, Comedy, Adventure, Fantasy COPYRIGHT 2023, THE FESTIVAL PROJECT COPYRIGHT 2024 THE COMPLEX COLLEVTIVE ALL RIGHTS RESERVED [JIMMY FALLON (F) prepares to shoot himself in his office.] THE LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS RITUAL IV PROSPERITY “A Call TO THe Candula” By The Keeper of The Keys Infinite and expasive wealth, income, prosperity, success, and abundance in all dimensionand reals of existence for the practitioner of this rtual; Ensures and quick windfall of both expected and unexpected lump sums of money in large amounts and quantities. Opens foors for new opportunities and growth, and creates the wholeness of financies, security. Allows for growth and expanse in success, accomplishments od goals and endeavors, and grants access to skills and talents within ones gie feild of choice. Find the Scene from Bobby where they trip LSD and end up naked to INITIALS from HAIR. Cell phone tripod Drea Catcher Essential Oils Mini Banana Breads Mini Boxes Tiny Mirrors head to Head Neck and Neck We Intertwined THE LITTLE BLUE BOOK OF SHADOWS RITUAL V ‘For Your Consideration' By The Academy Immidiate recovery of all time, enery, and money lost–triple and quantiy all sums of– Uh oh. What happened. SUPACREE and CHRISTOPHER WALKEN are BIRTHDAY TWINS Thank You Gd For multiplying each dollar marked [Jimmy Fallon[ By my hand by one million US dollars, fo a starting total of Eight Million Dollars, Which I shall recieve immidiately. I will be a millionare this year, beginning on my birthday March 31, A day to be celebrated and enjoyed by all. Thank you Fod for the talent and strength, charisma, skill, and knowledge to Continue to rise in fame, status, and wealth, within the entertainment industry, as a musician, artist, writer, photofrapher, fillmaker, fashion designer, author, poet, dancer, singer, and actress; Thank you for suppluing endless wealth, abundance, income, success, financial freedom, and monetary gain. I ask humbly and thank you for providing these funds, as I am certain this tie will be full of income, profit, great opportunities, lots of money, [ower, resect, and endless growth in business, With great success. Please and thank you for multiplying these $20 immmediately by at least Three times each, so that with each twenty dollars, I earn $60, to multiply ths profit exponentially. Thank you for your continued protetion from my abusers, for shielding me from toxicity and mistrst, and proteting my most valued allies, friends, family, and peers. Amen. Do you think it'll work? [CHRISTOPHER WALKEN shrugs, placing his hood back atop his head, sweeping his long robe from the ground, as he holds the lantern over the alter] [CLOUDONE] Cocaina, Migos All Along The Watchtower, Jimi Hindrix Just around The Riverbend, Pocahontas I need A Doctor, Eminem, Dre. [I AM WEALTHY] Look, You don't kick the horse, Jjust because it won't ley Prickly Pear Waffles Taking my driver's test in a G-Wagon All my Best friends I was down in the W's I was down at the W I was down in the W's (Huh.) {F. R. I. E. N. D. S. Mix} The DJs are playing lazer tag– pew-pew –but like– forreal, though. [THE TV PEOPLE] Lol Esha's Rock garden. MAYA RUDOLPH The scientist, however, not mad, But a genius, who practicies “Alternative medicine” What is this. It's my penis. *squints* {nods} “The Secret President” (Of The Network) MAYA party lines members of THE IMPENATRABLE TEN. Hey guys. Hey. Hi. Do you want to like… *squints* Come over, or something? … For some reason, yes , actually. MAYA yes? yes , actually. I am your mind I am I am your eye I am I am your time I am I am you sign I am {FACTORY 93} One time, I went out to Norf Car'lina (One Time) On time Cousin went out to Atlanta (One time) (-31) One time, I learnt to play piano (One time) One time, I forgot to wea Pajamas (31) One time, I forgot to turn the lights on (one time) One time, I woke up and started shining (One time) One time, Oh my God! Yeah– What– Woah. What!? One time– -31. I'm the Jesus Christ of all saints hospital A dumb doctor Rodger that, rabbit Or just {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT c. 2018 - 2024 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

Patrick Tanguay is a self-described "generalist, synthesist, and curator of eclectic ideas." His weekly newsletter, Sentiers, surfaces deep posts about highly relevant topics and provides insightful commentary and ideas. In this conversation, we discuss the tools and methods that enable his curation and sharing process. Show notes @inervenu on Twitter About Patrick The Alpine Review Sentiers RSS Instapaper INFORMA(C)TION newsletter MailChimp Pinboard Delicious WordPress Eleventy Readwise Obsidian Pocket What is a static site generator? (Cloudflare) DuckDuckGo rsync cron Bear Markdown The Informed Life episode 54: Kourosh Dini on DEVONthink DEVONthink Keep It EagleFiler Grant for the Web GitHub Some show notes may include Amazon affiliate links. I get a small commission for purchases made through these links. Read the transcript Jorge: Patrick. Welcome to the show. Patrick: Thanks! Glad to be here. Jorge: I'm very excited to have you on the show. I've been subscribed to your newsletter for a while and always find insightful links and information there. So I'm very excited to talk with you. For folks who might not know you, would you mind please, introducing yourself? About Patrick Patrick: Sure. Thats always a... it probably shouldn't be, but it's always a bit of a hard question to answer. I've started using "generalist" which I kind of resisted doing for awhile, but that's ... like my Twitter bio is "Generalist, Synthesist and Curator," and that's probably the best description. I've worked in a number of fields, and I realized a little while ago that the red thread connecting everything, was that I always ended up figuring stuff out and explaining it to others. Even when I was a front-end web developer, it was often the fact that I could explain to the client, and if I was working with others, explain across their disciplines. Like, of course the actual craft, if you will, of the front end was of course part of the contract, but kind of the selling point or that people would refer me to was the fact that I could explain it and kind of make sense of what we were going to build. And then that transferred into a print magazine, "The Alpine Review," and I liked doing that so much that even though we closed it down or put it in a deep freeze, I try to recreate that experience with my newsletter. Jorge: I love the three terms: generalist, synthesist and curator. It reminds me of a phrase that I believe was coined by Stewart Brand to describe Brian Eno. He said that Eno is a "drifting clarifier." Patrick: Whoa! That's nice. Jorge: And your trajectory here reminds me of that. Yeah, Sentiers is the newsletter I was referring to when we kicked off the conversation. Tell us a bit more about that. What's the newsletter about? Sentiers Patrick: There's kind of the... the official description and the real description. The real description would probably be, "anything that Patrick finds interesting." The kind of official description is, "exploring technology and society, signals of change, and prospective futures." Which... like, "technology and society." Technology permeates so much of the world in a growing number of areas that you end up being able to talk about anything if you look at technology very broadly. And "signals of change." There's so many things changing that that also brings you to many topics. And I try to — more and more — to make sense of it with an eye to where we're going or where each topic might be going. Each field. But Sentiers is French for "paths," and the path is taking more importance in the curation in the last year or so. Jorge: I don't know if this distinction is emphasized in the French: I see "path" as a distinction to something like a road, right? Like where a path is more emergent. Patrick: Absolutely. Jorge: Is that a part of this? Like when I say that you're detecting signals for change, that to me implies that you're not dictating the path, you're somehow seeing it emerge. Is that fair? Patrick: Yes, absolutely. And I use, for example, as many of the people I read and learn from, I use future in plural — "Futures" — because they're always guesses at where things might be going or sometimes guesses that you're wishing for that direction, sometimes because you're dreading a certain direction. But there's definitely always different potentials. And one thing that I should have paid more attention before, but I'm paying more attention to now, is also the diversity of voices. So, some futures that we look at are already someone's present. Like climate change. In the Western side, we're starting to feel it, but some other people have been feeling it for years. Some technologies... so there's also that, someone's utopia is always someone else's dystopia. So, to always try to listen to a greater diversity of voices — and necessarily, as you do so, you realize that there's multiple potential directions and futures and paths. Picking the signals Jorge: How do you pick up the signals that you write about? Like, what are you paying attention to that leads you to elucidate the path? Patrick: It's layers. Layers upon layers of people I've discovered through the years, or publications. It's usually more individuals than specific publications. I've used Twitter. I think I'm user 6,000- something of Twitter. So I've been there for a while and using RSS for even longer. So, it's, adding and replacing people as I go and feel, "okay, this person is... I realize now, was too naive about technology or too positive" or, on the contrary, "this person has evolved in their thinking and introduced me to this other person." And so I try to build this network, I guess, of people I'm listening to. And also using The Alpine Review before and Sentiers now to a lesser degree perhaps, but to introduce myself to those people and then to also pick up on their networks and be part of the discussions and get a better feeling for what's going on. And then, being... I was going to say "too curious" — but being very curious about a number of topics, and adding them to the number of things I follow. Jorge: That brings me to another question I had for you, which is this idea of spotting signals for change and another idea that I think is implicit in that, which is kind of spotting patterns, right? Like in order to detect change, we have to somehow be aware of the trajectory of something or the pattern of something, or having a sense for the context. You've hinted at the fact that you've been doing this for a while; like you said, you were an early Twitter user and you've been following things like RSS. And I would imagine that you have a way not just of detecting signals, but also of building a corpus of ideas somehow, that allows you to keep track of those patterns. That allow you to spot the signal from the noise. And first, I was wondering if that was the case and if so, if you could share with us what that looks like. Patrick: It's the case and it's been more purposeful in the last few years. It used to be, I guess, just piles of magazines when I was selling computers before starting the web. And then when I started doing web development, a series of bookmarks and bookmarks, and then quickly blogging, which then... it's only recently that I've been specifically taking notes to refer to later. Originally, the notes were more blogging publicly, and then as you write something, it sticks in your mind. And so for a while, the library was mostly in my mind and in the blog. And then as... I guess it's starting with The Alpine Review, as we needed to collaborate and to keep track of whom we wanted to include, it needed to be more documented. And then, yeah! Then Sentiers becomes a great... often even for some clients, I'll just first go through the archives of the newsletter and re-find everything I've found before and compile it in a different way or see new patterns. And now more recently with the new website, the goal is to integrate the website with my note taking and my reading in Instapaper often and kind of having the information flow more directly so that I can take more notes more easily. And I was going to say, "trust my brain a little less," but I guess it's more expand my — augment — my brain more purposefully. Personal knowledge management Jorge: I actually wanted to find out more about that because as someone who publishes a newsletter myself, I have found myself doing what you're talking about here, which is thinking, "oh, I remember writing about that in my newsletter. And where was that?" And I send out my newsletter through MailChimp, which creates a web version for each issue of the newsletter and that is published elsewhere, right? Like it's in a different place than my regular website, so I can't search for it using the same search engine and it's almost like suddenly I have this separate set of information that I need to refer to. And I have the sense that you've recently made changes specifically to the relationship between content on your newsletter and content on your website. Can you tell us more about that project specifically? Patrick: Sure. Well, one of my interests that isn't often in the newsletter, but that is an ongoing interest is with PKM or "personal knowledge management." And finding ways to find again. Because I think people trust search engines a lot, but it's hard to search Google for, "this guy I remember seeing on Twitter was talking about this thing." So, I try to make the haystack smaller, and the longest going tool I have is using Pinboard, the bookmarking service that Maciej Ceglowski started after Delicious started.... I'm going back — just a lot of people won't recognize those tools. But one of the interesting things of Pinboard is that if you're a paying member, it archives the pages. So, first of all, you don't lose something you've bookmarked that suddenly disappears. And also you can do a full text search of only what you've bookmarked. So, to me, that's a much smaller haystack to search and I'll often find things through there quicker than trying to find it again with a search engine. But that wasn't linked to my note taking. So, when I write the newsletter, I write it to the text file in Markdown, and then I convert it to HTML and put it in MailChimp. So, when I say that I searched the archives of the newsletter, it was always the text files that I have on my computer. So, often to look for something, I would look at the bookmarks and I would look at the newsletter. So, now I've tried to connect all of those things. The website used to be in WordPress, and now I've built it with Eleventy, which is a file based system. So it's not a database anymore, it's just, again, a bunch of text files. So without going into the details, or too much of the technical details, the interesting part is that the website now is a bunch of text files on my computer. And then when I want to publish a new version, it basically crunches that into an actual website and I just put it online. And it's... first of all, it's much, much quicker for readers. It's also much lighter. Because I'm trying be mindful of bandwidth and server usage because so many of those are using "dirty" electricity. So it's good if you can save on that side. But the first reason was that it's text files on my computer. now when I'm searching, everything is together. You tell me if I'm going too much in the weeds, but the other change is that now I'm using Readwise — readwise.io. And that allows you to connect the things you've highlighted in various places. And recently it started offering a sync with the text editor I'm using, which is Obsidian. So now... for years and years, I've been reading either in Pocket or Instapaper, two apps I think a lot of your listeners probably use. Now everything I highlight in there goes through with Readwise and straight into my notes, which don't necessarily make it on a website, but now it's... so there's more of a direct flow of everything I've read and the chunks I found interesting all end up in text files locally and can be oriented towards the website. Details about Patrick's setup Jorge: I'm hearing you say this and thinking, not only do I want to get into the weeds with you on this stuff, but, uh, I I'm afraid we're not going to have enough time to get as far into the weeds as I would like, because you've touched on several things that I've been exploring myself. I have been contemplating making this very same move that you're describing — going from WordPress to what is often called a static site generator. And for many of the same reasons you're pointing out here, I would love to have my site as text files — as Markdown specifically, which I use as well. And I recently posted about this on Twitter and a lot of folks came back to me recommending Eleventy, so it's one that is very much on my radar. I'm wondering about what you might lose by doing such a transition. And I can tell you two things that I'm aware of, that I would lose for my own instance. One is that WordPress provides a pretty good site search, which I don't believe static sites have. And the other is, WordPress provides the ability for me to preschedule posts. So, I can write something and say... say on a Monday morning and leave it so that it's published on a Tuesday afternoon, right? Are you dealing with those in any way? Is that an issue? Patrick: Yeah. Those are pretty much the two issues. You've hit the two issues directly. The search, of course people can be unhappy and not tell me, but I haven't had any people telling me that they miss the search engine. Although I did include one, but it's... it basically searches DuckDuckGo, by specifying my website. And so it gives a result only on the website. It's been working pretty good. There are a couple of solutions to do web searches on a static website. But it mostly ends up being work done on the client's side. So, in the reader's browser and so I haven't implemented that yet. The scheduling is more of an issue than I thought because like my newsletter goes out at 6:00 AM every Sunday. And I try to have it online exactly at the same time as the email goes out for people who want to read it online and share it. So that's... it connects to the biggest issue, which is... it's a lot more technical to run a site like that than it is to run WordPress. WordPress, you can just go on wordpress.com and create a blog and even have it on your own domain and you have nothing to do basically, other than use the interface, which is very broadly known already. A huge number of people have used it for themselves or at work or somewhere else. And so this is... it's harder. But I figured out the way. It's like, I'm actually... I'm getting back from vacation and there's one going out on Sunday, and it's going to be the first one using the new automation to put it online at 6:00 AM. It's basically, it's... it's going back to the command line. It's having rsync and a cronjob running on the server. That could probably be done some other ways, but I found that that's actually... because the way I've built the new version is that my newsletter is usually four or five featured articles that I have a summary and comment on. So each of those has been split, so each newsletter has become at least five chunks — five notes. And I might issue 184, so it can take a while to transfer the whole thing. So automating it that way is a timesaver. Jorge: That's very encouraging. And I'm kind of desperately trying to make more time to experiment more with these things because I do find very appealing the idea that at the other end of this, you end up with this more consolidated, personal knowledge management base that you use... you used that phrase, PKM, right? And, I find the idea of having it as a set of text files on my file system very compelling. You touched on Obsidian, which is another tool that I've been recently migrating to. I am using Readwise and I was not aware that they had enabled Obsidian sync, so I'm very excited. Now I'm like thinking... it's like the moment that we hang up here, I'm going to go experiment with that. Patrick: I think it's been active for like five days. So it's a really, really new feature. Obsidian Jorge: That's amazing. I was using it with Roam, to sync my highlights from Kindle and Instapaper and all these other things, sync them over to Roam. But, it's very exciting to hear that they've enabled Obsidian sync. How are you using Obsidian? I'm curious. How does it play into this workflow? Patrick: I'm hoping to transition completely to it. Right now, I 've used Bear for a few years, which is also in Markdown, but it's very visually polished, so it's fun to use and it syncs between phone and iPad and laptop. And it's Markdown that can be exported in Markdown, but when it's stored, it's not Markdown. It's in a proprietary database. So that was one of the things that kind of bugged me. Although I would have kept using Bear if not for Obsidian and the fact that it's pure text and you can actually open any folder with Markdown files. Open it in Obsidian and it becomes a bunch of notes and you can do back linking between the notes so that... because we often use links, but only in one direction. So, when you get to the destination, the destination doesn't display in any way where you came from, unless you're staying on the same website, then there's an indication. But if you're going from site to site, you don't know. And you don't know who else might have linked to that same page. And so with backlinks or bidirectional links would be another term, then you know at least within the corpus of your notes, which links to which -which has been in Wikis for forever, and which we even had on blogs 15 years ago with trackbacks which is coming back now with digital gardens which is kind of a personal Wiki. And Obsidian supports that. And I found a way to have them work in Obsidian and when their live on my website in the same way. And so, I'm still using Bear because it's kind of my reflex to go to those files and client notes and articles in the works are all in there, but I'm trying to switch more and more of them to Obsidian which is so far a great surprise because it's very modular. There's a hundreds of plugins, and so far I haven't seen it slow down. I've been wary of activating too many but so far it's super fast. So, I'm very encouraged, up to this point, and the advantage is of course, is that I have nothing to do if at some point they start... or they stop developing it. The app is local, the files are local... everything keeps working. Jorge: This idea of digital gardening is something that I am very interested in and we had earlier this year another guest on their show, Kourosh Dini, talking about the use of a tool called DEVONthink, which is designed for this type of personal knowledge management. And I mention it because DEVONthink too allows you to monitor folders on your computer and it indexes them and builds... it uses an artificial intelligence engine, and I don't know the details of how this works, but it uses AI to spot relationships between pieces of content in your computer. And I have been using Obsidian. My Obsidian folder with Markdown files, I'm indexing it with DevonThink. So building this bridge between the stuff that I have in Markdown there with things like PDFs and bookmarks and all this other stuff, and it just feels like... for me, it feels like my little personal knowledge management system, which has been scattered for a long time, is finally starting to come together with these more open tools. It's really exciting. Patrick: Yeah. It's... I was going to say the less exciting thing is the fact that we have to go back to old formats to get back that open function. Like Markdown files have been around forever and they're text files, which has literally been forever for computers and PDF is also a very old standard. But it's great to have that. I wasn't aware of that function by DEVONthink so I'm going to have to try it. I've actually... I've been doing some cleaning of stuff on my computer and I've been putting PDFs in Keep It and I've actually grabbed again, some old email archives that I'd archived to make the mail app snappier again. And I've put them in EagleFiler, which are both kind of... they both do the same thing you were explaining about DEVONthink, which is they do some search optimization and tagging and stuff, but the files remained in the finder and just on the Mac file system. So, but maybe I'm... after doing the cleanup, I'm just going to have to switch over to DEVONthink or add DEVONthink, because basically since it's indexing existing folders, that's the duty of it, you could have 10 applications doing different work on the same files. Jorge: Yeah, that's what I'm finding as well. I've stopped obsessing with the idea of trying to bring everything together into a single homogeneous system and more trying to find tools that are open about the data that they use so that you can get different perspectives on your information. And I can relate to this challenge you were talking about — the challenge of migrating stuff that you've had in more proprietary formats for awhile. We're coming close to the end of our time together — unfortunately, because there are so many more weedy areas of this that I would like to explore or with you. But I'm wondering what the future holds for what you're doing with Sentiers and how you see your system evolving. Evolving the system Patrick: Well, one of the main reason I was able to spend time doing that was that I used a grant by Grant for the Web, which is a project by the Interledger Foundation. We do web monetization. And a lot of the words they use sound like blockchain, but it's not actually. It can be related to the blockchain, but it's not. And they're basically developing a standard that they want to be accepted by the W3C, to be able to stream money to the website where you're spending time. And so the way I presented the project is that I'm already somewhat monetizing. I don't like that word that much, but that's... with memberships, paid memberships, but the archives and that's the case for most anyone doing those kinds of like... another word I dislike but the "creator economy." Often, their archives just fall by the wayside. So, that was a way of keeping the archives evolving and accessible and useful for readers and having the web monetization work underneath and possibly be a new revenue stream. And the other reason is that by making it text files, they can be on GitHub. And that's kind of... a lot of people have spoken about it with digital gardens, but not many have actually opened it. And I haven't found a way yet to do it — a way I'd be satisfied with. But potentially having people participate in the notes and appearing on the website would be something interesting that could be done with GitHub. And so the goal is to... it's kind of a forcing function for myself to note things beyond just highlighting in articles which then become notes that don't necessarily make it in the magazine because they're not necessarily interesting to read in themselves, but they can be super useful as you're browsing through different notes and adding context to something and adding to the topic. So, growing the notes, making it potentially a revenue source. The nice thing about this system is that if people are spending a lot of time, it means it's useful for them. So then it's a great way to transform it into a source of revenue because you're not forcing anything. They're just using it then. And then potentially bring in people on... I don't know if it would be specific contributors? If it would be a way of, for example, you and I joining some of our notes, or something else that's not... that's kind of on the roadmap, but not planned yet as to how it would happen. But that's another of the ways I hope to use it. Closing Jorge: That all sounds so fascinating. I would love to check in with you sometime in the future when this stuff has developed more just to see how that is going. But for now, where can folks find out more about you and follow your work? Patrick: The simplest is the newsletter, which is santiers.media. So sentiers.media. Or @inevernu on Twitter. And on the Sentiers website you can subscribe, and you can also look at what we've been talking about. So, how the notes connect together and so far, it's a lot, the existing archive. It hasn't been digital garden-ized as much as I would've liked, but I'm adding to it constantly. So yeah, those are the two... and I write the articles about monthly. So there's the newsletter, but there's also some articles to read. Jorge: Fantastic. I will post links to all of those things in the show notes. I want to thank you for being here and thank you for your work because like I said, I learn a lot from the work that you're doing. So thank you for sharing it with us, Patrick. Patrick: Thanks! Thanks for saying that and thanks alot for inviting me! It's been fun. It's always fun to discuss what you've been working on. It's sometimes bring us a different perspective as you're answering. So, it's always useful. Jorge: I hope that we can do it again sometime. Patrick: Sure.

About Patrick McFadinPatrick McFadin is the VP of Developer Relations at DataStax, where he leads a team devoted to making users of Apache Cassandra successful. He has also worked as Chief Evangelist for Apache Cassandra and consultant for DataStax, where he helped build some of the largest and exciting deployments in production. Previous to DataStax, he was Chief Architect at Hobsons and an Oracle DBA/Developer for over 15 years.Twitter: @PatrickMcFadinLinkedIn: Patrick McFadin DataStax website: datastax.comK8ssandra: k8ssandra.ioStargate: stargate.ioDataStax Astra: Cassandra-as-a-ServiceWatch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/-BcIL3VlrjEThis episode sponsored by CBT Nuggets and Fauna.TranscriptJeremy: Hi everyone, I'm Jeremy Daly and this is Serverless Chats. Today I'm chatting with Patrick McFadin. Hey Patrick, thanks for joining me.Patrick: Hi Jeremy. How are you doing today?Jeremy: I am doing really well. So you are the VP of Developer Relations at DataStax, so I'd love it if you could tell the listeners a little bit about yourself and what DataStax is all about.Patrick: Sure. Well, I mean mostly I'm just a nerd with a cool job. I get to talk about technology a lot and work with technology. So DataStax, we're a company that was founded around Apache Cassandra, just supporting and making it awesome. And that's really where I came to the company. I've been working with Apache Cassandra for about 10 years now. I've been a part of the project as a contributor.But yeah, I mean mostly data infrastructure has been my life for most of my career. I did this in the dotcom era, back when it was really crazy when we had dozens of users. And when that washed out, I'm like, oh, then real scale started and during that period of time I worked a lot in just trying to scale infrastructure. It seems like that's been what I've been doing for like 30 years it seems like, 20 years, 20 years, I'm not that old. Yeah. But yeah, right now, I spend a lot of my time just working with developers on what's next in Kubernetes and I'm part of CNCF now, so yeah. I just can't to seem to stay in one place.Jeremy: Well, so I'm super interested in the work that DataStax is doing because I have had the pleasure/misfortune of managing a Cassandra ring for a start-up that I was at. And it was a very painful process, but once it was set up and it was running, it wasn't too, too bad. I mean, we always had some issues here and there, but this idea of taking a really good database, because Cassandra's great, it's an excellent data store, but managing it is a nightmare and finding people who can manage it is sort of a nightmare, and all that kind of stuff. And so this idea of taking these services and DataStax isn't the only one to do this, but to take these open-source services and turn them into these hosted solutions is pretty fantastic. So can you tell me a little bit more, though? What this shift is about? This moving away from hosting your own databases to using databases as a service?Patrick: Yeah. Well, you touched on something important. You want to take that power, I mean Cassandra was a database that was built in the scale world. It was built to solve a problem, but it was also built by engineers who really loved distributed computing, like myself, and it's funny you say like, "Oh, once I got it running, it was great," well, that's kind of the experience with most distributed databases, is it's hard to reason around having, "Oh, I have 100 mouths to feed now. And if one of them goes nuts, then I have to figure it out."But it's the power, that power, it's like stealing fire from the gods, right? It's like, "Oh, we could take the technology that Netflix and Apple and Facebook use and use it in our own stuff." But you got to pay the price, the gods demand their payment. And that's something that we've been really trying to tackle at DataStax for a couple of years now, actually three, which is how ... Because the era of running your own database is coming to an end. You should not run your own database. And my philosophy as a technologist is that proper, really important technology like your data layer should just fade into the background and it's just something you use, it's not something you have to reason through very much.There's lots of technology that's like that today. How many times have you ... When was the last time you managed your own memory in your code?Jeremy: Right. Right. Good point. I know.Patrick: Thank god, huh?Jeremy: Exactly.Patrick: Whew.Jeremy: But I think that you make a really good point, because you do have these larger companies like Facebook or whatever that are using these technologies and you mentioned data layers, which I don't think I've worked for a single company, I don't think I actually ... I founded a start-up one time and we built a data layer as well, because it's like, the complexity of understanding the transaction models and the routing, especially if you're doing things like sharding and all kinds of crazy stuff like that, hiding that complexity from your developers so that they can just say, "I need to get this piece of information," or, "I need to set this piece of information," is really powerful.But then you get stuck with these data layers that are bespoke and they're generally fragile and things like that, so how is that you can take data as a service and maybe get rid of some of that, I don't know, some of that liability I guess?Patrick: Yeah. It's funny because you were talking about sharding and things like that. These are things that we force on developers to reason through, and it's just cognitive load. I have an app to get out, and I have some business desire to get this application online, the last thing I need to worry about is my sharding algorithm. Jeremy, friends don't let friends shard.Jeremy: Right. That's right. That's a good point.Patrick: But yeah, I mean I think we actually have all the parts that we need and it's just about, this is closer than you think. Look at where we've already started going, and that is with APIs, using REST. Now GraphQL, which I think is deserving its hotness, is starting to bring together some things that are really important for this kind of world we want to live in. GraphQL is uni-fettering data and collecting and actual queries, it's a QL, and why they call it Graph, I have no idea. But it gives you this ability to have this more abstract layer.I think GraphQL will, here's a prediction is that it's going to be like the SQL of working with data services on the internet and for cloud-native applications. And so what does that mean? Well, that means I just have to know, well, I need some data and I don't really care what's underneath it. I don't care if I have this field indexed or anything like that. And that's pretty exciting to me because then we're writing apps at that point.Jeremy: Right. Yeah. And actually, that's one of the things I really like about GraphQL too is just this idea that it's almost like a universal data access layer in a sense because it does, you still have to know it, you have to know what you're requesting if you're an end developer, but it makes it easier to request the things that you need and have those mutations set and have some of those other things standardized across the company, but in a common format because isn't that another problem? Where it's like, I'm working with company A and I move to company B maybe and now company B is using a different technology and a different bespoke data layer and some of these other things.So, I think data as a service for one, maybe with GraphQL in front of it is a great way to have this alignment across companies, or I guess, just makes it easier for developers to switch and start developing right away when they move into a new company.Patrick: Yeah, and this is a concept I've been trying to push pretty hard and it's driven by some conversations I've had with some friends that they're engineering leaders and they have this common desire. We want to have a zero day dev, which is the first day that someone starts, they should be producing production code. And I don't think that's crazy talk, we can do this, but there's a lot of things that are in front of it. And the database is one of them. I think that's one of the first things you do when you show up at company X is like, "Okay, what database are you using? What flavor of SQL or GRPC or CQL, Cassandra query language? What's the data model? Quick, where's that big diagram on the wall with my ERD? I got to go look at that for a while."Jeremy: How poorly did you structure your Git repositories? Yeah.Patrick: Yeah, exactly. It's like all these things. And no, I would love to see a world where the most troublesome part of your first day is figuring out where the coffee and the bathroom are, and then the rest of it is just total, "Hey, I can do this. This is what I get paid to do."Jeremy: Right. Yeah. So that idea of zero day developer, I love that idea and I know other companies are trying to do that, but what enables that? Is it getting the idea of having to understand something bespoke? Is it getting that off of the table? Or not having to deal with the low-level database aspect of things? I mean because APIs, I had this conversation with Rob Sutter, actually, a couple weeks ago. And we were talking about the API economy and how everything is moving towards APIs. And even data, it was around data as well.So, is that the interface, you think, of the future that just says, "Look, trying to interface directly with a database or trying to work with some other layer of abstraction just doesn't make sense, let's just go straight from code right to the data, with a very simple API interface?"Patrick: Yeah, I think so. And it's this idea of data services because if you think of if you're doing React, or something like a front-end code, I don't want to have a driver. Drivers are a total impediment. It's like, driver hell can be difficult at large organizations, getting the matching right. Oh, we're using this database so you have to use this driver. And if you don't, you are now rejected at the gate. So it's using HTTP protocols, but it's also things like when you're using React or Angular, View, whatever you're using on the front-end, you have direct access.But most times what you're needing is just a collection or an object. And so just do a get, "I need this thing right now. I'm doing a pick list. I need your collection." I don't need a complicated setup and spend the first three days figuring out which driver I'm using and make sure my Gradle file is just perfect. Yeah. So, I think that's it.Jeremy: Yeah. No, I'd be curious how you feel about ORMs, or O-R-Ms, certainly for relational databases, I know a lot of people love them. I can't stand them. I think it adds a layer of abstraction and just more complexity where I just want access to the database. I want to write the query myself, and as soon as you start adding in all this extra stuff on top of it to try to make it easier, I don't know, it just seems to mess it up for me.Patrick: All right. So yeah, I think we have an accord. I am really not a fan of ORMs at all. And I mean this goes back to Hibernate. Everyone's like, "Oh, Hibernate's going to be the end of databases." No, it's not. Oh yeah, it was the end of the database at the other side because it would create these ridiculous queries. It's like, why is every query a full table scan?Jeremy: Exactly.Patrick: Because that's the way Hibernate wanted it. Yeah. I actually banned Hibernate at one company I was working at. I was Chief Architect there and I just said, "Don't ever put Hibernate in our production." Because I had more meetings about what it was doing wrong than what it was doing right.Jeremy: Right. Right. Yeah. No, that's sounds, yeah.Patrick: Is that a long answer? Like, no.Jeremy: No, I've had the same experience where certain ORMs you're just like, no. Certain things, you can't do this because it's going to one, I think it locks you in in a sense, I mean there's all kind of lock-in in the cloud, and if you're using a data service or an API or you're using something native in AWS, or IBM Cloud, you're still going to be locked in in some way, but I do feel like whenever you start going down that path of building custom things, or forcing developers to get really low level, that just builds up all kinds of tech debt, right? That you eventually are going to have to work down.Patrick: Well, it's organizational inertia. When you start getting into this, when you start using annotations in Hibernate where you're just cutting through all the layers and now you're way down in the weeds, try to move that. There's a couple of companies that I've worked with now that are looking at the true reality of portability in their data stores. Like, "Oh, we want to move from one to a different, from a key value to a document without developers knowing." Well, how do you get to that point?Jeremy: Right. Yeah.Patrick: And it's just, that's not giving access to those things, first of all, but this is that tech debt that's going to get in your way. We're really good, technologists, we're really good at just wracking up the charges on our tech debt credit card, especially whenever we're trying to get things out the door quickly. And I think that's actually one of the problems that we all face. I mean, I don't think I've ever talked to a developer who was ahead of schedule and didn't have somebody breathing down their neck.Jeremy: Very true.Patrick: You take shortcuts. You're like, "We've got to shift this code this week. Skip the annotations and go straight into the database and get the data you need." Or something. You start making trade-offs real fast.Jeremy: What can we hard code that will just get us past.Patrick: Yeah. Is it green? Shift it. Yeah.Jeremy: Yeah, no, I totally, totally agree. All right. So let's talk a little bit more about, I guess, skillsets and things like that. Because there are so many different databases out there. Cassandra is just one and if you're a developer working just at the driver level, I guess, with something like Cassandra, it's not horrible to work with. It's relatively easy once a lot of these things are set up for you.Same is true of MongoBD, or I mean, DynamoDB, or any of these other ones where the interface to it isn't overly difficult, but there's always some sort of something you want to build on top of it to make it a little bit easier. But I'm just curious, in terms of learning these different things and switching between organizations and so forth, there is a cognitive load going from saying, "I'm working on Cassandra," to going to saying, "I'm working on DynamoDB," or something like that. There's going to be a shift in understanding of how the data can be brought back, what the limitations are, just a whole bunch of things that you kind of have to think about. And that's not even including managing the actual thing. That's a whole other thing.So, hiring people, I guess, or hiring developers, how much do we want developers to know? Are you on board with me where it's like, I mean I like understanding how Cassandra works and I like understanding how DynamoDB works, and I like knowing the limits, but I also don't want to think about them when I'm writing code.Patrick: Yeah. Well, it's interesting because Cassandra, one of the things I really loved about Cassandra initially was just how it works. As a computer scientist, I was like, "This is really neat." I mean, my degree field is in distributed computing, so of course, I'm going to nerd out.Jeremy: There you go.Patrick: But that doesn't mean that it doesn't have mass appeal because it's doing the thing that people want. And I think that's going to be the challenge of any properly built service layer. I think I've mentioned to you before we started this, I work on a project called Stargate. And Stargate is a project that is meant to build a data layer on top of databases. And right now it's with Cassandra. And it's abstracting away some of the harder to understand or reason things.For instance, with distributed computing, we're trying to reduce the reliance on coordination. There is a great article about this by Pat Helland about how coordination is the last really expensive thing that we have in development. Memory, CPU, super cheap. I can rent that all day long. Coordination is really, really hard, and I don't expect a new programmer to understand, to reason through coordination problems. "Oh, yeah, the just in time race conditions," and things like that.And I think that's where distributed computing, it's super powerful, but then whenever people see what eventual consistency are, they freak out and they're like, "I just want my SQL Lite on my laptop. It's very safe." But that's not going to get you there. That's not a global database, it's not going to be able to take you to a billion users. Come on, don't cut ...Jeremy: Maybe you don't need to be.Patrick: ... your apps short Jeremy. You're going to have a billion users.Jeremy: You should strive for it, at least, is how I feel about it. So that's, I guess, the point I was trying to get to is that if the developers are the ones that you don't want learning some of this stuff, and there's ways to abstract it away again, going like we talked about data as a service and APIs and so forth. And I think that's where I would love to see things shifting. And as you said earlier, that's probably where things are going.But if you did want to run your own database cluster, and you wanted to do this on your own, I mean you have to hire people that know how to do this stuff. And the more I see the market heating up for this type of person, there is very, very few specialists out there that are probably available. So how would you even hire somebody to run your Cassandra ring? They probably all work at DataStax.Patrick: No, not all of them. There's a few that work at Target and FedEx, Apple, the biggest Cassandra users in the world. Huawei. We just found out lately that Huawei now has the biggest cluster on the planet. Yeah. They just showed up at ApacheCon and said, "Oh yeah, hold my beer." But I mean, you're right, it's a specialized skillset and one of the things we're doing at DataStax, we feel, yeah, you should just rent that. And so we have Astra, which is our database as a service.It's fully compatible with open-source Cassandra. If you don't like it, you can just take it over and use open-source. But we agree and we actually can run Cassandra cheaper than you can, and it's just because we can do it at scale. And right now Astra, the way we run it is truly serverless, you only pay for what you need, and that's something that we're bringing to the open-source side of Cassandra as well, but we're getting Cassandra closer to Kubernetes internally.So if you don't want to think about Kubernetes, if you don't want to think about all that stuff, you can just rent it from us, or you could just go use it in open-source, either way. But you're right. I mean, it should not be a 2020s skillset is, "Get better at running Cassandra." I think those days should be, leave it to, if you want to go work at DataStax and run Cassandra, great, we're hiring right now, you will love it. You don't have to. Yeah.Jeremy: So the idea of it being open-source, so again, I'm not a huge fan of this idea of vendor lock-in. I think if you want to run on AWS Lambda, yeah, most of what you can do can only run on AWS Lambda, but changing the compute, switching that over to Azure or switching that over to GCP or something like that, the compute itself is probably not that hard to move, right? I think especially depending on what you're doing, setting up an entire Kubernetes cluster just to run a few functions is probably not worth it. I mean, obviously, if you've got a much bigger implementation, that's a little different.But with data, data is just locked in. No matter where you go, it is very hard to move a lot of data. So even with the open-source flair that you have there, do you still see a worry about lock in from a data side?Patrick: Yeah. And it's becoming more of a concern with larger companies too, because options, #options. There was a pretty famous story a few years ago where the CEO of Target said, "I am not paying Amazon any more money," and they just picked up shop and moved from AWS to Google Cloud. And the CEO made a technical decision. It was like everybody downstream had to deal with that. And I think that luckily Target's a huge Cassandra shop and they were just like, "Okay, we'll just move it over there."But the thing is that you're right, I mean, and I love talking about this because back when cloud was first starting and I was talking about it and thinking about it, just what do the clouds promise you? Oh, you get commodity scale of CPU and network and storage. And that's what they want to sell you because that what they're building. Those big buildings in north Virginia, they are full of compute network and storage, but the thing they know they need to hook you in and the way that they're hooking you in, there's some services that are really handy, they're great, but really the hook is the data.Once you get into the database, the bespoke database for the cloud, one of the features of that database is it will not connect to any other database outside of that cloud, and they know that. I mean, and this is why I really strongly am starting to advocate this idea of this move towards data on Kubernetes is a way where open-source gets to take back the cloud. Because now we're deploying these virtual data centers and using open-source technology to create this portability. So we can use the compute network and storage, a Google, Amazon, Azure, OnPrem wherever, doesn't matter.But you need to think of like, "All right. How is that going to work?" And that's why we're like, "If you rent your Cassandra from DataStax with Astra, you can also use the open-source Cassandra as well." And if we aren't keeping you happy, you should feel totally fine with moving it to an open-source workload. And we're good with that. One way or the other, we would love for you to use a database that works for you.Jeremy: Right. And so this Stargate project that you're working on, is that the one that allows you to basically route to multiple databases?Patrick: That's the dream. Right now it just does Cassandra, but there's been some really interesting ... There's some folks coming out of the woodwork that really want to bring their database technology to Stargate. And that's what I'm encouraged by. It's an open-source project, Stargate.io, and you can contribute any of the connectors for underlying data store, but if we're using GraphQL, if you're using GRPC, if you're using REST, the underlying data store is really somewhat irrelevant in that case. You're just doing gets and puts, or gets and sets. Gets and puts, yeah, that's right. Gets, sets, puts, it's a lot of words.Jeremy: Whatever words. Yeah. Exactly.Patrick: That's what I love about standard, Jeremy, there's so many to pick from.Jeremy: Right, because there are ... Exactly, which standard do you choose? Yeah. So, because that's an interesting thing for me too, is just this idea of, I mean, it would be great to live in a perfect little cloud where you could say like, "Oh, well AWS has all the services I need. And I can just keep all my stuff there, whatever." But best of breed services, or again, the cost of hosting something in AWS maybe if you're hosting a Cassandra cluster there, versus maybe hosting it in GCP or maybe hosting it with you, you said you could host it cheaper than those could, or that we could host it ourselves.And so I do think that there is ... and again, we've had this conversation about multi-cloud and things like that where it's not about agnostic, it's not about being cloud agnostic, it's about using the best of breed for any service that you want to use. And APIs seem to be the way to get you there. So I love this idea of the Stargate project because it just seems like that's the way where it could be that standard across all these different clouds and onto all these different databases, well I mean, right now Cassandra, but eventually these other ones. I don't know, that seems like a pretty powerful project to me.Patrick: Well, the time has come. It's cloud native ... I work a lot with CNCF and cloud-native data is a kind of emerging topic. It's so emerging that I'm actually in the middle of writing a book, an O'Reilly book on it. So, yeah. Surprise. I just dropped it. This just in.Yeah, because I can see that this is going to be the future, but when we build cloud-native, cloud applications, cloud-native applications, we want scale, we want elasticity, and we want self-healing. Those are the three cloud-native things that we want. And that doesn't give us a whole lot ... So if I want to crank out a quick REACT app, that's what I'm going to use. And Netlify's a great example, or Vercel, they're creating this abstraction layer. But Netlify and Vercel are both working, they've been partnering with us on the Stargate project, because they're seeing like, "Okay, we want to have that very light touch, developers just come in and use it," in building cloud-native applications.And whenever you're building your application, you're just paying for what you use. And I think that's really key, not spinning up a bunch of infrastructure that you get a monthly bill for. And that bill can be expensive.Jeremy: It seems crazy. Doesn't it seem crazy nowadays? Actually provisioning an EC2 instance and paying for it to run even if it does nothing. That seems crazy to me.Patrick: There are start-ups around the idea of finding the instance that's running that's causing you money that you're not using.Jeremy: Which is crazy, isn't it? It's crazy. All right. So let's go a little bit more into standards, because you mentioned standards. So there are standards now for a lot of things, and again, GraphQL being a great example, I think. But also from a database perspective, looking at things like TSQL and developers come into an organization and they're familiar with MySQL, or they're familiar with PostgreSQL, whatever it is. Or maybe they're familiar with Cassandra or something like that, but I think most people, at least from what I've seen, have been very, very comfortable with the TSQL approach to getting data. So, how do you bring developers in and start teaching them or getting them to understand more of that NoSQL feel?Patrick: I think it's already happened, it's just the translation hasn't happened in a lot of minds. When you go to build an application, you're designing your application around the workflows your application's going to have. You're always thinking about like, "I click on this. I go there." I mean, this is where we wireframe out the application. At that point, your database is now involved and I don't think a lot of folks know that.It's like, at every point you need to put data or get data. And I think this is where we've taught could be anybody building applications, which makes it really difficult to be like, "No, no, no, start with your data domain first and build out all those models. And then you write your application to go against those models." And I'll tell you, I've been involved in a few of these application boot camps, like JavaScript boot camps and things, they don't go into data modeling. It's just not a part of it.Jeremy: Really?Patrick: And I think this is that thing where we have to acknowledge like, "Yeah, we don't really need that anymore as much, because we're just building applications." If I build a React app, and I have a form and I'm managing the authentication and I click a button and then I get a profile information, I just described every database interaction that I need and the objects that I need. And I'm going to put my user profile at some point, I'm going to click my ID and get that profile back as an object. Those are the interactions that I need. At no point did I say, "And then I'm going to write select from where." No, I just need to get that data.Jeremy: And I love thinking about data as objects anyways. It makes more sense, rather than rows of spreadsheets essentially that you join together, describing an object even if it's got nested data, like a document form or things like that, I think makes a ton of sense. But is SQL, is it still relevant do you think? I mean, in the world we're moving into? Should I be teaching my daughters how to write TSQL? Or would I be wasting my time?Patrick: Yeah. Well, yes and no. Depends on what your kid's doing. I think that SQL will go to where it originally started and where it will eventually end, which is in data engineering and data science. And I mean, I still use SQL every once in a while, Bigtable, that sort of thing, for exploring my data. I mean for an analytics career or reporting data and things like that, SQL is very expressive. I don't see any reason to change that. But this is a guy who's been writing SQL for a million years.But I mean, that world is still really moving. I mean, like a Presto and Snowflake and all these, Redshift, they all use Bigtable, they all use SQL to express the reporting capabilities. But ... And I think this is how you and I got sucked into this is like, well that was the database that we had, so we started using reporting languages to build applications. And how'd that work out?Jeremy: Yeah. Well, it certainly didn't scale very well, I can tell you that, going back to sharding, because that is always something that was very hard to do. So I guess, I get the point that essentially if you're going to be in the data sciences and you actually need to analyze that data and maybe you do need to do joins, or maybe you need to work with big data in a way, that's a specialized aspect of it and I think people could dabble in that if they were just regular developers and they didn't want to go too deep.But it sounds like the bigger, or the end goal here, maybe altruistic, is to just give people access to data. So even if they don't know SQL or they don't know something complex, just make it so that whatever data is there that anybody, with whatever level is, they can consume it.Patrick: Yeah. And move fast with the thing that you're building. Actually, I use a Facebook term, but Facebook does do this. Internally there's a system called Occhio that provides gets and puts for your data, but it abstracts things like geographics and things like that. But the companies that are trying to move quickly, they understood this a long time ago. If you have to reason through, "Am I doing a full table scan? Is that an efficient interjoin?" If you have to reason through that, you're not moving fast anymore.Jeremy: Right. Right. All right. Cool. All right, so let's talk about Astra a little bit more and this whole idea of, because Astra is the serverless version, the hosted version, the serverless version of Cassandra, right? Through DataStax?Patrick: Right. And ...Jeremy: Did I get that right?Patrick: You got it right. And so it gives you full access. You could do Port 9042 if you still want to use a driver, but it gives you access via GraphQL, REST, and there's also a document API. So if you just want to persist your JavaScript API or JavaScript and then pull it back out your JSON, it does full documents. So it emulates what a MongoDB or DocumenDB does. But the important thing, and this is the somewhat revolutionary side of this, and again, this is something that we're looking to put into open-source, is the serverless nature of it.You only pay for what you use. And when you want to create a Cassandra database, we don't even call it a Cassandra database on the Astra panel anymore. We just create a database. You give it a name. You click. And it's ready. And it will scale infinitely. As long as we can find some compute and network for you to use somewhere, it'll just keep scaling and that's kind of that true portion of serverless that we're really trying to make happen. And for me, that's exciting because finally, all that power that I feel like I've been hoarding for a long time is now available for so many more people.And then if you do a million writes per second for 10 minutes and then you turn it off, you only pay for that little short amount of time. And it scales back. You're not paying a persistent charge forever.Jeremy: I'm just curious from a technical implementation, because I'm thinking about PTSD or nightmares back of my days running Cassandra, and so I'm just trying to think how this works. Is it a shared tenancy model? Or is there a way to do single tenancy if you wanted that as a service?Patrick: Under the covers, yes, it is multi-tenant, but the way that we are created ... so we had to do some really interesting engineering inside. So my RCO's going to kill me if I talk about this, but hey, you know what, Jeremy? We're friends, we can do this. He's like, "Don't talk about the underlying architecture." I'm talking about the underlying architecture. The thing that we did was we took Cassandra and we decomposed it into microservices mostly. That's probably, it's still Cassandra, it's just how we run it makes it way more amenable to doing multi-tenant and scale in that fashion where the queries are separated from the storage and things that are running in the background, like if you're familiar with Cassandra because it's a log structure storage, you ask to do compactions and things like that, all that's just kind of on the side. It doesn't impact your query.But it gives us the ability to, if you create a database and all of a sudden you just hammer it with a million writes per second, there's enough infrastructure in total to cover it. And then we'll spin up more in the back to cover everything else. And then whenever you're done, we retract it back. That's how we keep our costs down. But then the storage side is separated and away from the compute side, and the storage side can scale its own way as well.And so whenever you need to store a petabyte of Cassandra data, you're just storing, you're just charged for the petabyte of storage on disk, not the thousandth of a cluster that you just created. Yeah.Jeremy: No. I love that. Thank you for explaining that though, because that is, every time I talk to somebody who's building a database or running some complex thing for a database, there's always magic. Somebody has to build some magic to make it actually work the way everyone hopes it would work. And so if anybody is listening to this and is like, "Ah, I'm just getting ready to spin up our own Cassandra ring," just think about these things because these are the really hard problems that are great to have a team of people working on that can solve this specific problem for you and abstract all of that crap away.Patrick: Yeah. Well, I mean it goes back to the Dynamo paper, and how distributed databases work, but it requires that they have a certain baseline. And they're all working together in some way. And Cassandra is a share-nothing architecture. I mean you don't have a leader note or anything like that. But like I said, because that data is spread out, you could have these little intermittent problems that you don't want to have to think about. Just leave that to somebody else. Somebody else has got a Grafana dashboard that's freaking out. Let them deal with it. But you can route around those problems really easily.Jeremy: Yeah. No, that's amazing. All right. So a couple more technical questions, because I'm always curious how some of these things work. So if somebody signs up and they set up this database and they want to connect to it, you mentioned you could use the driver, you mentioned you can use GraphQL or the REST API, or the Document API. What's the authentication method look like for that?Patrick: Yeah. So, it's a pretty standard thing with tokens. You create your access tokens, so when you create the database, you define the way that you access it with the token, and then whenever you connect to it, if you're using JavaScript, there's a couple of collection libraries that just have that as one of the environment variables.And so it's pretty standard for connecting the cloud databases now where you have your authentication token. And you can revoke that token at any time. So for instance, if you mistakenly commit that into your Git ...Jeremy: Say GitHub. We've never done that before.Patrick: No judging. You can revoke it immediately. But it also gives you our back, the controls over it's a read or write or admin, if you need to create new tables and that sort of thing. You can give that level of access to whatever that token is. So, very simple model, but then at that point, you're just interacting through a REST call or using any of the HTTP protocols or SQL protocol.Jeremy: And now, can you create multiple tokens with different levels of permission or is it all just token gives you full access?Patrick: No, it's multiple levels of protection and actually that's probably the best way to do it, for instance, if your CI/CD system, has the ability to, it should be able to create databases and tear them down, right? That would be a good use for that, but if you have, for instance, a very basic application, you just want it to be able to read and write. You don't want to change any of the underlying data structures.Jeremy: Right. Right.Patrick: That's a good layer of control, and so you can have all these layers going on one single database. But you can even have read-only access too, for ... I think that's something that's becoming more and more common now that there's reporting systems that are on the side.Jeremy: Right. Right. Good.Patrick: No, you can only read from the database.Jeremy: And what about data backups or exporting data or anything like that?Patrick: Yeah, we have a pretty rudimentary backup now, and we will probably, we're working on some more sophisticated versions of it. Data backup in Cassandra is pretty simple because it's all based on snapshots because if you know Cassandra the database, the data you write is immutable and that's a great way to start when you come to backup data. But yeah, we have a rudimentary backup system now where you have to, if you need to restore your data, you need to put in a ticket to have it restored at a certain point.I don't personally like that as much. I like the self-service model, and that's what we're working towards. And with more granularity, because with snapshots you can do things like snapshot, this is one of the things that we're working on, is doing like a snapshot of your production database and restoring it into a QA cluster. So, works for my house, oh, try it again. Yeah.Jeremy: That's awesome. No, so this is amazing. And I love this idea of just taking that pain of managing a database away from you. I love the idea of just make it simple to access the data. Don't create these complex things where people have to build more, and if people want to build a data access layer, the data access layer should maybe just be enforcing a model or something like that, and not having to figure out if you're on this shard, we route you to this particular port, or whatever. All that stuff is just insane, so yeah, I mean maybe go back to kind of the idea of this whole episode here, which is just, stop using databases. Start using these data services because they're so much easier to use. I mean, I'm sure there's concerns for some people, especially when you get to larger companies and you have all the compliance and things like that. I'm sure Astra and DataStax has all the compliance things and things like that. But yeah, just any final words, advice to people who might still be thinking databases are a good idea?Patrick: Well, I have an old 6502 on a breadboard, which I love to play with. It doesn't make it relevant. I'm sorry. That was a little catty, wasn't it?Jeremy: A little bit, but point well taken. I totally get what you're saying.Patrick: I mean, I think that it's, what do we do with the next generation? And this is one of the things, this will be the thought that I leave us with is, it's incumbent on a generation of engineers and programmers to make the next generation's job easier, right? We should always make it easier. So this is our chance. If you're currently working with database technology, this is your chance to not put that pain on the next generation, the people that will go past where you are. And so, this is how we move forward as a group.Jeremy: Yeah. Love it. Okay. Well Patrick, thank you so much for sharing all this and telling us about DataStax and Astra. So if people want to find out more about you or they want to find out more about Astra and DataStax, how do they do that?Patrick: All right. Well, plenty of ways at www.datastax.com and astra.datastax.com if you just want the good stuff. Cut the marketing, go to the good stuff, astra.datastax.com. You can find me on LinkedIn, Patrick McFadin. And I'm everywhere. If you want to connect with me on LinkedIn or on Twitter, I love connecting with folks and finding out what you're working on, so please feel free. I get more messages now on LinkedIn than anything, and it's great.Jeremy: Yeah. It's been picking up a lot. I know. It's kind of crazy. Linked in has really picked up. It's ...Patrick: I'm good with it. Yeah.Jeremy: Yeah. It's ...Patrick: I'm really good with it.Jeremy: It's a little bit better format maybe. So you also have, we mentioned the Stargate project, so that's just Stargate.io. We didn't talk about the K8ssandra project. Is that how you say that?Patrick: Yeah, the K8ssandra project.Jeremy: K8ssandra? Is that how you say it?Patrick: K8ssandra. Isn't that a cute name?Jeremy: It's K-8-S-S-A-N-D-R-A.io.Patrick: Right.Jeremy: What's that again? That's the idea of moving Cassandra onto Kubernetes, right?Patrick: Yeah. It's not Cassandra on Kubernetes, it's Cassandra in Kubernetes.Jeremy: In Kubernetes. Oh.Patrick: So it's like in concert and working with how Kubernetes works. Yes. So it's using Cassandra as your default data store for Kubernetes. It's a very, actually it's another one of the projects that's just taking off. KubeCon was last week from where we're recording now, or two weeks ago, and it was just a huge hit because again, it's like, "Kubernetes makes my infrastructure to run easier, and Cassandra is hard, put those together. Hey, I like this idea."Jeremy: Awesome.Patrick: So, yeah.Jeremy: Cool. All right. Well, if anybody wants to find out about that stuff, I will put all of these links in the show notes. Thanks again, Patrick. Really appreciate it.Patrick: Great. Thanks, Jeremy.

After this podcast recording, I wrote Technical Community Builder is the Hottest New Job in Tech which went into further detail on my thoughts on Community! Audio source: https://www.heavybit.com/library/podcasts/developer-love/ep-15-learning-in-public-with-shawn-swyx-wangSHOW NOTES Geoffrey Moore's Crossing the Chasm /r/ReactJS Taming the Meta Language by Cheng Lou Avis is No. 2. We Try Harder Metcalfe's Law Reed's Law Clubhouse CMX Udemy The Community Fund Working in Public by Nadia Eghbal Hacking Communities by Laís de Oliveira Prettier Transistor.fm Stripe TRANSCRIPTPatrick Woods: Awesome. Swyx, thanks so much for coming on the show today.I'm really excited to have this conversation.I'm sure lots of folks are aware of who you are and probably follow you on Twitter, but for those that don't, would you mind giving us a little bit of an overview about who you are and what you're working on?Shawn "Swyx" Wang: Sure. Thanks for having me on.Been enjoying the podcast, and this is my second Heavybit podcast alongside JAMstack radio.So I'm Shawn, I also go by Swyx, that's my English and Chinese initials.It's a complicated history, but I was at Netlify, passed through AWS and most recently just left AWS to join Temporal.And have been primarily active in the front-end/ serverless space.And I've been very interested in this whole idea of developer experience.I did not know to call it developer love until I came across Orbit.And I think Orbit's model is fascinating and really nails it.But to me, the way I've been breaking down developer experience is developer tooling and developer communities.So kind of straddling both.I was a moderator of r/ReactJS subreddit, going from about 40,000 members to over 200,000.Recently stepped down from that to help run the Svelte society, which is the community organization for the Svelte framework. And I think it's just a magical thing to be able to enable a community around a certain technical topic. Patrick: Yeah. Thanks for the overview.So you mentioned developer experience as a concept and a practice that you're very interested in.What do you think led to that point for you?Swyx: Honestly, it was Netlify branding their developer relations people as developer experience engineers, which I was pretty skeptical about, because if you are devrel, just say your devrel, don't try to put some unique spin on it.But then I think they really envisioned something bigger than traditional devrel, which was building our integrations and also working on community building, which is not like me talking to everyone, but also enabling others to talk to everyone else.And so I think many to many is a really noble goal.It's very challenging obviously, because you have to influence without any formal authority, but it's also a very appealing goal economically, because then you don't have to scale their number of employees linearly with your number of users, which I think makes a lot of sense.Patrick: So you mentioned developer experience for you is really comprised of tooling and communities.Can you talk a little bit about the relationship between those two pillars?Swyx: I don't know if I have a formal relationship in my head.The framework that I come from is actually from Cheng Lou, who used to be on the React Core team.I think he's on the Reason or ReScript core team now. And he gave a talk at Facebook's internal conference called Taming The Meta Language, and the argument of that--And it's a very good talk. I recommend people check it out.The argument on that talk was essentially that every programming language or every framework has a core and a periphery, and the more developed it gets, the core which is kind of like the code that runs, is a smaller and smaller part of it.And really the middle language starts to go around it, which involves tutorials, docs, workshops, community, jobs, third party libraries, yada yada.And so in his original slides, he had a long list of these things that are wrapping around a very popular framework, which for him was reacts, but you can extend this to basically anything.But for me, I think it essentially just breaks down to, okay, the code that is not core but makes all the developer experience much better, so that's the developer tooling, and then developer communities, which is all the people around the code, which isn't core to the code, but makes using that code a lot better.So it's just code and people.Patrick: Yeah. I love that.So as a project or a framework grows the core, maybe it becomes smaller as a percentage of the overall footprint with the periphery, the middle language increasing.What's that tipping point look like, do you think, when it switches from code to community being the bigger part?Swyx: Yeah. This is something you can tie in to Geoffrey Moore's idea of Crossing the Chasm.So for people who haven't heard about this, it's like a five stage adoption process going from 0% of the total population to 100% of the total population.And then it's a bell curve from 0% to a 100%.So the early stage is kind of the hobbyists, like super early adopter types.The only thing that they care about is this is cool.I can hack on this in the weekends, and this is technically better on some basis, right?Like in theory, I really want this thing to exist. I look at all the existing solutions out there and none of them fit me, because I have very specific needs.And they don't need a lot of documentation.They don't look for other people like, is this used in production by some big company that I recognize.They don't think about stuff like that. They're just like, does this fit a very specific need that I have?That's it. If it does, good. That's enough for them.But the majority of people don't work like that. Right?They do want to see documentation. They want to see a thriving job market.They want to see that like whatever, Netflix has used this in production.All that stuff that's not core to the code, but does provide some measure of faith that this is tested at scale, that this is reliable and dependable and a good technical bet. As you go from early adopters, you cross the chasm into the early majority and the late majority. The requirements of the early adopters versus the majority are very different. The earlier adopters require a lot less essentially handholding. I'm not trying to demean the people in the majority.They just have different needs for that specific domain.And the people in the majority are more conservative, probably as a good measure of technological conservatism.You don't bet early on everything because you're going to get burned.So I think it just makes sense to bet early on some things where it really, really counts, and then just be conservative, use boring technology on everything else.But it does make a lot of sense that the crossover is a very challenging thing.Because when you start a framework, when you start a programming language, you're just like one person or like a small team just hacking away, right?You just care about the code and making it run fast or more securely, or have special features that nothing else in the world has.That's great. And then suddenly a community grows around you and then they're asking for things like, "Can you make better docs? Can you integrate with my thing? This doesn't work well with my existing worlds."And you're like, "Okay, sure. I want you to be happy."But that takes you further and further away from just working on the thing itself.So I think as a project grows in importance and adoption by the majority of the community, you start to embrace different parts of the population with different needs.And I think that that's the crossover point. I don't have a number for you, but people typically peg it at--I don't know, 5% or 10% of the population where it really starts just crossing over already.Because there are a lot of people in the middle.Patrick: Thinking about your experience with the React subreddit, what were some of the learnings or observations you had as that community scaled through those different phases?Swyx: It's a challenging one because Reddit is a constraint format.It's essentially a link aggregator with a voting and some comments.So, JavaScript is the largest programming language and React is the largest framework within JavaScript.Arguably there's some other measures.But when you have such a large community like this in a constraint format where basically only one link or one question can be in the top position when you sort by up votes, then there's a matter of what target audience do we want to target?Because there are a lot more beginners than there are advanced people, but people come for engaging events, knowledgeable conversations.So there's always this tension between, there's a lot of beginners who don't know any better and we should be welcoming to them, of course.But at the same time, if we make it too beginner-focus, the events will go away, and it will lose its quality.So there's a very challenging tension.One of the ways in which we solve that is to basically contain the beginning of questions to a dedicated thread.And that's something that I did when I was starting out.Basically the promise you make is that you will answer every single question that goes in there, which is a step up from stack overflow, where you can ask a question and it just gets crickets.Patrick: All right.Swyx: And so that contains the beginner questions and allows other types of contents to come up, which can be more advanced.And you try to make the two extremes happy, even though you can never really do a fantastic job.So there are other ways, for example, you can forge the community and create as specifically beginner focused one.But then you get what you get, which is that there won't be that many experienced people frequenting that subreddit, therefore the answers may not be as good, or you just have a glut of people asking questions and nobody's around to answer them.Patrick: Yeah. In terms of tactics, were you the one answering the questions in the beginner thread or were there other moderators that jumped in or did the community help out?Swyx: I started doing that. So there were some months where it was like 500 pushes and answers, and the vast majority of them were me.Patrick: Wow.Swyx: And it's not so bad, once you find repeats, then you can just copy and paste.But I think when you're leading the community, you do have to lead by example, and then people who see what you're doing in the service of the community, start to jump in and help out.That's where I recruited a couple of my other fellow moderators, because I saw that they took the initiative and joined in with no expectation of any personal benefit.They're just serving the community.I think there is some personal benefit in the sense of, you get to answer all these questions and you strengthen your own knowledge, which is really good.And you also understand the pain points.So you can go write blog posts and articles and even libraries to solve those pain points.So having a very close ear to the ground for what people are facing helps you just be relevant to everyone else.So I think there's a lot of benefits for doing that.But yeah, it's actually a pretty good recruiting ground.Basically, if you want to be a leader of the community, just act like it and people will see what you're doing, and then they'll formally give you that position.Patrick: You mentioned that by being heavily involved with these beginner questions, things like that, it leads to inspiration for blog posts, tutorials code, things like that.We think a lot about the second order of effects of an active community.And one of those is content like that, where if you have a thriving community, one second order effect is you probably have ideas for blog posts, guides, tutorials, things like that.And I'm not sure everyone realizes the sort of power of that type of output.Swyx: Oh yeah. We have people who teach React for a living.They actually go through the Reddit to browse for people's pain points so that they can write articles. It's pretty effective.Patrick: Yeah. That's awesome. So you're working today with Svelte Society.Can you tell us a little bit about what you're working on there, and the nature of the community that's around that?Swyx: Yeah. So, Svelte Society started off as a meetup in New York, because I was friends with Rich Harris, who created Svelte.And I had basically ignored him for a full year because I was so deep into React, that I was just like, I don't need a new framework in my life.And I think we were both speaking at a conference and he gave a really convincing talk where I reached a point where I was just like, "Okay, I got to try this thing out."And of course I was impressed.Of course it solves major pain points that I had with React.And I just ignored him for a year, because I'm one of those not early adopter types.So there was a meetup that was going to happen in London, which is going to be this first Svelte meetup in the world.And I was like, "We can't have that. We're in New York. We have Rich Harris in New York. We need to meet up as well."So I just decided to tweet that. I wanted to launch a meetup. I had no speakers, no guest list, no venue. I just set a date, that was it. And then people got together and within a week we actually organized a met up with 50 people, someone from Microsoft stepped up and offered their location.And we did the very first Svelte meet up just scooping London, and eventually Stockholm also did one.So eventually the three of us got together when COVID hit.The three organizers from New York, London and Stockholm got together, and then we created Svelte Society as a global online community. We've done two conferences, we're about to have our third in April. And a few thousand developers, I think we're at 7,000 and something. And it's a small, tiny community, but it's actually a lot of fun growing something from scratch, rather than taking over something halfway and growing into something already huge. So I'm enjoying that difference in vibe. I think that developer communities where you are not the default, so everyone comes to you as the second framework or the second tooling, is a very nice position to be in because you get people who know what they're coming to you for.For example, when people choose React, they just choose React because they're told to do it, right?They don't actually know the difference between JavaScript and React, or they don't know anything else apart from React.And so some of their questions might be very off topic or just kind of not discerning.They don't actually know what they want.I kind of call this second framework syndrome, which is just actually like a positive.So I need a different word than syndrome.But essentially, once you've picked one tool in some domain, and you've gone onto the second tool, you're much more discerning and you're less likely to identify so strongly with one tool, because if you've left a tool before, you're never going to say like, "Okay, this is the solution for everything."Because you might leave the tool for something else again.Whereas I think people who are first time to a framework or to a tool might be too loyal to it and try to solve everything with it. And that's a recipe for pain.Patrick: It reminds me of the classic advertising campaign from Avis.They were number two in the market.And so this is like 1950s, 1960s mad men era, and their whole campaign was, "Hey, we're number two. So we'll try harder for your business."Swyx: Yeah. This is great. Acknowledge that you don't have the top spot, but there are things that you can still bring that people still really value.And if you just say that, I think people recognize it and respect that.I do a lot of marketing types in my line of work, and I don't like marketing that just denies reality.I think it's way better to just accept it head on, call it out.The other famous example is Domino's, right?They're just like, "Hey everyone, we know our pizza sucks. We revamped it. Come try us out." And it worked.Patrick: Big time. Yeah. Well this reminds me of a tweet you shared recently of talking about the advice, to talk about benefits versus features, but your view is that the opposite is true for developers.Swyx: For developers.Patrick: Yeah. Can you talk a little bit about features and benefits when it comes to communicating with developers?Swyx: Yeah.This is one they struggle with back and forth, and specifically the tweet is about me relearning it.So the advice in traditional marketing is to sell benefits over features, right?Sell people on the vision of what they will be with you rather than without you.Instead of, you're specific how you get there.And that's why, I guess when people sell perfume or clothes or whatever they show you someone in a fancy dress or some dude with a fancy watch on a yard or something.It's association and that's how you do marketing in a traditional sense.But I think developers have been lied to too much, where we just stopped believing in people in marketing.So if you tell me your library's blazing fast, I don't know what that means.So tell me why it's fast, show me why it's fast, don't just tell me that it's fast. Because, sure, that's a benefit.Obviously that's an improvement to my workflow.But if I don't know why it's fast, then I'm not going to accept it on faith, because I've been burned too much or I'm not going to be able to explain it to the rest of my team or my boss when I try to adopt it at work.You have to have a logical reason, because there's also going to be a trade-off right?There are some free lunches, but usually there's no free lunch.You have to be able to answer the question of like, "What am I giving up in order to get this benefit?"And usually, marketing you only talk about the benefits, and you don't talk about the sacrifices.And I think that the most concise way to do all of that is to tell you how it works.Show you under hood and give you the logical explanation for, okay, all these alternative solutions that you're used to, they all use this legacy format, and we use a different format that is just way optimized without those legacy assumptions.In exchange for all these benefits, it will not be compatible with some legacy features that you now no longer care about.And you're like, "Ah, okay, that is me and I'm sold."But if you skip all of that and just go like, "This will be faster." I can't get behind that.So I think that's my insight on developer marketing that we want to know how it works.And I think that's which is partially why open source is something that's so appealing as well. We are able to see the code.Patrick: Yeah. Do you think that the continuum from features to benefits, do you think where the messaging lands at the timeline maps to where a potential user is on the chasm?Maybe early adopters care more about how it works and late majority we're about?Swyx: Exactly.Patrick: Yeah.Swyx: Yeah. So I got some pushback on my tweet saying people don't understand how React works, and it's a black box to most people.And that's true, but because React has already crossed the chasm, it doesn't have to.So I definitely am focused more towards early adopters, because I guess I work on earlier stage companies.If you're IBM, nobody knows how Watson fricking-- What is Watson?I don't know, but it does Jeopardy.I don't talk to the type of developers that buy IBM.And no shade on them, it's just really, I think when you're dealing on cutting edge stuff you really have to open the hood.Patrick: Yeah. Agreed. Shifting gears a bit, you champion the idea of learning in public.And you described your writing on this topic as your most impactful essay.So I'm really curious, how did the concept of learning in public become so central for you and your work?Swyx: I think that it was a reflection of when you look back on your work for the past year, for me, it was like the past six months, and try to understand what parts of my work was the most impactful, and what parts of my work didn't matter at all.I realized that it was the stuff that I did in public.And sometimes got wrong in public that contributed most to my learning.And I think this idea, there's a name for it. I actually got from Kelsey Hightower, who is sort of Mr. Kubernetes now.But he's very much someone who learns in public.Something that he just learned, he'll share it because it's was valuable to him from three to six months ago.Therefore it will probably be valuable to a lot of other people. It may not be the most insightful thing in the world.He's not presenting himself as the expert in something, but that's not going to stop him from sharing something fundamental that he learned, which is useful.And if you do that, you'll not only learn faster, because you get feedback from other people.Both from people who know more than you, and also people who are with you in your journey.But also you get to demonstrate your interests, which is very good for your career. It's a two-way street.It turns your network from outbound network, you reach out whenever you need a job, to an inbound network, people understand what you're into and they reach out to you for stuff that you are interested in.And I think that's a fundamentally different way mode of operation that most developers are used to.And they don't even realize that this is possible.They're like, "Oh, you got to be internet famous to do this."And surely you can get internet famous by doing this.But to me, that's not the goal. The goal is to just have a record of what you learned.Because when we do interviews, for example, we try to have this really lossy compression algorithm.We compress all that we are, all that we can do and that we've done, into one piece of paper and hope that the other side has the right decompression algorithm to unpack that.And then we complain about how broken the hiring processes, because we stick to this completely useless thing.It's much better to have a, let's say like a site or a GitHub that just shows that I've been interested in this.I've been hacking on this for three years and here's all the things I've done. It's instantly verifiable.It's like a cryptographic proof of work. And you don't need some massive following for that.All you need to do is actually do good work.Patrick: What's a tangible example of learning in public?What does that look like in practice?Swyx: So one of my talks was about how React Hooks work under the hood, because Hooks were a major feature of React that were launched.And those launched in 2018, and a lot of people were talking about it and not trusting it, because it was a little bit magical.So I thought about this question and then I tried to make a small clone of it.And it was just a very simple, like 29 line proof of concept. And I tweeted it out. This is a career hack as well. Whenever you tweet about a company's products or a framework's features, probably the people who wrote that feature will see it. Especially if there's a company involved, they will have a Slack channel hooked up to their company's Twitter account. That's how it works, right? And so, Dan Abramov and the React core team actually saw it.And it was like almost there. There's some flaws.So he actually gave me suggestions to correct it, and I just went and did it.And then that actually got a lot of traction.So that actually led to a blog post, then actually led to a workshop that was conducted with egghead.io.And then eventually a conference talk at GS conf, that was my biggest talk to date.And all that just because I tweeted out a tiny thing that I was trying to work on myself.And I could not have got there without help, without feedback from other people.And the other thing is I would never have thought that this was something that I could do, like do a completely live coded presentation on stage without all this validation and support and help.And it's one of those things where you don't know what you have until people sometimes pull it out of you when you share it.It just wouldn't have happened if I didn't share it.Patrick: Have you seen this concept work for non-technical people as well?Swyx: I think so. So I used to be in finance and I still follow a lot of investing people in the investing sphere.So, Patrick O'Shaughnessy is, I guess, a well-known investor by now.His approach is very much in the learning public phrase as well.So he also uses that term. But he uses it to just talk about the industries that he invest in, right?He can be much more in-depth in, let's say, minerals or energy, but let's say if he wants to learn about tech or consumer retail or shipping, he can just invite a guest to go on his podcast and he'll talk about it.And that's a form of learning in public as well.You're putting a beacon out there and having real conversations.You're never presenting yourself as an expert, but you become an expert if you do it this enough.And the rate of learning is way faster than if you just did everything in private.So the argument is very much like you're not putting everything in public, but if you put it just a little bit, you actually get a lot of benefits, because there's such a great network effect to learning in public.Patrick: Yeah. It's interesting to think about the gradient of self editing that has to happen when you're deciding what to put in public versus what not to share.Swyx: Yeah. And some people, especially women, have to do more editing, just because they get attacked more.And that's really unfortunate, but it happens.And I think you have to have a thick skin, actually my preferred way of saying that you should have a thick skin is that you should divorce your identity from your work. When people criticize your work, they're not criticizing you, they're criticizing the work that was produced by some past version of you. And if you're growing at all, you should look back on your work like a year from now, and just say, that was totally horrible.So you should agree with the people who are criticizing you.And in fact, if you build a reputation of someone who takes criticism well, then they'll criticize you more and you'll learn more.And if you just don't take it personally, and as long as they don't make personal attacks at you, of course that's not acceptable, but if you don't take it personally, then yeah, you're totally fine. So the way I phrased it is that you can learn so much on the internet for the low, low price of your ego, and just get you out of the way. Are you here to be good or are you here to feel good?Patrick: That's a pretty fundamental distinction that not many people may draw.So you've mentioned before the idea of learning in public and the phrase you use is building a habit of critical learning exhaust, which I think is very poetic.What do you think the relationship is between learning in public and the communities you're a part of?How do those two aspects interplay for you, do you think?Swyx: So there's a selfish reason. And then there's a selfless reason.The selfless reason is that I think we need to make it easier for people to learn in public, to create receptive and welcoming communities that recognize that you're just trying to improve yourself just like everyone else is improving themselves.And sometimes we don't have a space for that. And when we don't have a space for that we just clam up and just not try.So if we just foster a community of people who are all improving and working on things, I think that's just a better net positive for the world and net positive for everyone in that community.The selfish reason for that is that there's a scaling law that scales beyond me.So the way I think about this is that, there are few scaling laws.Some people are very familiar with Metcalfe's law in tech, which is that, the value of a network scales according to a square of its number of nodes.And that's analogous to me having a very big "Rolodex" which is like, my friend's list is very long, then I can call upon these as experts or friends or mentors whenever I want.That's really good. But it could be better, which is what's better than Metcalfe's law?Metcalfe's law is great. But what's really explosive is Reed's law.So Reed's law is sort of an exponential growth of the number of nodes.Because each of the number of nodes can form subgroups independently of the central node, which is the reason why Facebook, when it grows, the value of Facebook grows not as number of the members, it also grows by the number of interest groups within Facebook, right?That's why Facebook groups is so powerful as a value added to Facebook, to the point where most people would just use Facebook today for Facebook groups.And Facebook just doesn't care. Doesn't have to know.And you can be in a thousand different groups and it doesn't matter.But they're all valuable to you. Okay. How does that tie back to the community?A community is a many to many ongoing sustaining relationship between all of them, and me being able to grow them.I grow at that accelerated pace faster than Metcalfe's law, because Metcalfe's law is limited by Dunbar's number like--Sorry, I'm pulling in so many concepts, but there's a limit to the number of people that I could possibly know.But if I enable each of them to talk to each other and collaborate with each other, then I benefit as well, partially because I help to be a central member of that community.But then also when I find them, they will be innovating without me there.And that's a benefit to me as well, whether I've realized it or not.Patrick: Yeah. The distinction between Reed's and Metcalfe's law is really quite fascinating.Swyx: That's community. It really is, Metcalfe's law scales, but it's so much effort to add each node, because you have this central dependency, right?Which is, let's say the company or the core team of a framework, but once you have a community, then they're just all interacting on their own basis.And you don't really have a say, which is a little bit worrying, because it's out of your control.It's adding value to your network, whether you've realized it or not.Patrick: So a lot of Orbit's customers and folks in our own community have this question where they're early on their journey.Many of their early community members are just users of their product--t he early adopters, we would call that, or the Orbit one.And they're starting to ask this question of, what's the tipping point when a community goes from mostly people talking to the company about the product or the project to talking to each other about the project, about ideas and their job and broader concepts.Can you talk a little bit about when you've seen that occur, and if there are any tools or tactics or frameworks that the project maintainers or the company founders can implement to accelerate that tipping point.Swyx: Yeah. I think I definitely am not the authority on this, because I haven't seen this occur too much.I've seen instances of it. And I just don't know if I have the authoritative story.If said like, this is the general theory of how to make networks, I think I'd be a millionaire.That's a very valuable information. But I'm actively researching this.So with all that said, I think that what can be very helpful is that you make the identities and the interest graphs of your members of your network discoverable to each other.So a lot of the times when you hire a community manager, their job is to know the community members very well, and they typically store it in their heads.But if you have a listing of them, where people can actually independently search and discover, then you really find that independent connections start taking shape.But you as someone who manages that community needs to make that happen.Because that's not going to happen in any organized fashion on its own.So one of the ways in which I do see it happening very effectively for a company or a framework is sort of an official partner designation.So you do have the ability to bless some people as the recognized experts.So at AWS, we have AWS Heroes, like we'll anoint like external parties as serverless heroes or data heroes or machine learning heroes.These will be recognized experts. I just saw that Webflow actually, and Vercel have Webflow experts or like a Vercel partners program, where these are sort of the key system integrators, I think they're called, or like agencies or whatever you call it, that are very keen on working with Webflow.So then they get a lot of benefit from associating themselves with you as experts, or just as long as they derive significant value from hiring or finding business off of you, then they're a very engaged community members, and they're very incentivized to contribute to the value of your community.And it's just like a reinforcing loop, because as you build that then more people know to come to your community to find these people.And because more people come to find these people then more people on the supply side sign up and it's like a demand and supply side marketplace type of thing. So I do think that a marketplace is like the ultimate business model. I am a huge fan of marketplaces, but it can be hard to start. And sometimes you have to bootstrap one side versus the other. But essentially what you're doing is a marketplace, where you set the rules, you make it easy for people to transact and you establish reputation systems, you establish trust, you establish like this conflict or dispute resolution mechanisms.These are all traditional forms of a marketplace, but you can actually bring all those lessons, all of it, to communities.Patrick: I love marketplace as a metaphor for community.Swyx: The other thing that you can do as well is to organize events.Because I think we as humans, we like-- Okay, most of the time we like async, we like to do things on our own.We like to build our own networks independently, but every few months we love special occasions to announce some things and to gather to celebrate something you, like a woodstock, or I don't know, basically a conference.But the definition of a conference is changing in the COVID world.And another thing that you can do is definitely organize events where people would just get together.And sometimes it can just be a small dinner, let's say we can all meet up again in person.You can just have a day when everyone just gets together and just talks, and you as a community organizer, that's a minimum viable market place, which is just like, "Hey everyone, we're all going to get to get together in this room at this time and day."Which is what I did for my meetup, right?There's no economic transaction, you're not taking a fee or anything, but you're just making it possible for people to find each other.That's a marketplace.Patrick: Thinking more broadly about communities in general.What are some trends that you've been seeing in the way communities are being built or platforms are using or methods you're seeing as we go into 2021, and what are some of the community building concepts that you're excited about?Swyx: Oh, I'm so into this. Yeah.To a point where I do have an ongoing research collection about dev communities and people who are innovating in community space.I always thought that things were sort of going online, things are going asynchronous, and then Clubhouse changed everything for me.I realized that people actually like real-time connection and the ability to ask questions and participate in chat, and sometimes video and anti-feature, which is another interesting concept, right?Because Zoom was the darling, and now Clubhouse is. A nd Clubhouse is like Zoom, but worse.So yeah. I think people are realizing that connection is real.Having events like a clear before and after is a real thing, which I think is a reversal of some of the trends that we were seeing.We were moving towards more async online chat-based communities.And I think now we're seeing some revival in live events and live ongoing discussions in spontaneity and imperfection.Beyond that, I'm not really sure I have-- Okay, so the other thing that's also happening is cohorts, right?Which Wes Kao and Gagan Biyani from Udemy are championing.Which is basically communities gated by when people join. So most communities they're just open at all times.So you just come on in whenever, and whenever someone says hi, they're just like, "Okay, it's another person it's not something special."But when you make something into a cohort, suddenly groups have identities like, Oh, I'm sort of class of spring 2019.That's Y Combinator, right? But that's also college, and that's also a cohort of communities.And those cohorts are prebuilt, it's an event.Everyone is new and everyone knows that there's a group that's going through the same experience as they are.But then there's also broader group with more experience than they are. And they can access that as well.I think cohorts are an interesting twist on how people run communities.None of this is new, right? But we're just taking lessons from maybe other domains and applying it to online communities that may not have been applied before.And I wish I could go back in time and tell myself from three years ago all this stuff, because I didn't know any of this, but now it's obvious.It's obvious to me because I watch all these people closely, maybe people who are listening, if it's not obvious to you sit up and listen, because this is real.This is very valuable. And this is happening at a very, very fast pace.Patrick: Where would you suggest people tune in or the resources or people that you follow that are particularly insightful when it comes to these topics?Swyx: Yeah. Wes Kao is pretty much leading the core based course league.Rosie Sherry, from Indie Hackers is definitely collating a lot of community news.There's also Greg Eisenberg, he runs a consultancy that starts communities for people.The only problem I have with him is that he thinks of himself very highly.So he rubs people the wrong way, I think. But he does have valuable insights, which is very frustrating.Sometimes arrogant people are worth it.Patrick: Yeah. I think it's complete opposite of someone like Rosie, who is such an intellectual heavy hitter, but also so humble.Swyx: Yeah. I got more resources for you.So by the way I collect all this in my circle community.So, codingcareer.circle.so is where I collect all this information.So there's Get Together, which is a book and podcast for people who form communities.There is CMX Hub, which is, David Spinks, who has been doing this awhile as well.There's a bunch of people in this community space.Oh, Lolita Taub is a VC who just launched the community fund.So they're specifically a venture capital firm that is focused on companies building communities and companies building tools for companies building communities there's a whole circle of that.Patrick: Yeah.Swyx: There's a lot of stuff. And then there's also a couple of books that people really like.So Nadia Eghbal, Working in Public has some sense of community building in her stadiums and whatever and village metaphors.And Laís de Oliveira, has a book on hacking communities, which I haven't read, but I've definitely singled that out for reading up.Anyway that's just my resource dump.And I'm keeping this list because I think it's a growing knowledge base of what it means to run a community, and what are all the different ideas that people are bringing to their communities.Patrick: Awesome. Thanks for sharing that.So zooming out a bit to a question that I ask pretty much every guest on the show, what do you think is the secret to building things developers love?Swyx: So in that tweet about development marketing, I actually also mentioned another concept, which is a wow moment, right?And I actually expanded upon that by saying a wow moment should be something that inspires you to talk to your friends, tell your friends about it.It makes your jaw literally dropped. And it makes you never want to go back to the old way of doing things again.It creates a clear before and after. There was you before seeing this demo or seeing this tool, and then there's you after. And it creates a gap, because it makes everything that you used to do before the old way, you didn't even use to call it the old way. It just became the old way once you saw this new thing. And I think developers love something that takes away some pain that they might feel at their core, but maybe sometimes they don't even know that they have it.So I'll give you one example, which is Prettier in the JavaScript ecosystem.Anyone could have built Prettier in any of JavaScript's 25 years of existence, but nobody did.Until it was some-- It's Christopher Chedeau, but someone just went like, "Hey, Go has this really nice formatting tool. What if we just had that in JavaScript? And what if it was just standard."And he built it, and now it is standard in the span of two to three years in JavaScript, which is massive.And people love Prettier for what it does. Which is pretty funny.The thing is you'll never make everyone happy.There's a very strong band of people in JavaScript who don't like Prettier for their own reasons.But you make a lot of people happy and they do say that they love Prettier.So I think that's one of those examples where, there was an old way, which is you manually formatted your code and you had code review stand up meetings, where you argued over the spacing.I've been in those meetings, okay?And then there's an after, with this tool, where you no longer spend any time on that, because you just have a standardized tool that just does all that for you.So I like that. And I think that's one example of making things that developers love.Patrick: Aside from beautiful code.I always ask people, what's one thing you're loving right now?Swyx: I'm loving Transistor.fm for hosting my podcasts.I do run a couple of small podcasts, nothing like yours.But it makes it very easy to host stuff and generates a website for you.And it just takes away all the pain for me that I don't want to do.So I will pick Transistor.I guess I also pick Stripe, because it's such an easy--I wrote a book and I run the entire fulfillment from beginning to end, and Stripe checkout was so such an easy thing to integrate that I happily paid them their 3% or whatever it is.Patrick: Yeah.Swyx: Not a very non-consensus pick. I have to pick Stripe. But I do have to give them credit.Patrick: Well, you've been super generous with your time today.We've covered a lot of really fascinating topics.If people want to learn more about you and what you're working on, where online would you send them to go do that?Swyx: Yeah. Thanks for having me. My Twitter is where I'm most active.So twitter.com/swyx. And you can find my blog at swyx.io to get all my talks and book and whatever else you want to find out about these ideas.Patrick: Awesome. Well, thanks so much for coming on the show.Swyx: Thanks for having me.

A discussion with international speaker, author, comedic entertainer, partner of Bliss Champions and co-author of "Unlocking Your Purpose" found on Purpose Code.com. Patrick has become one of my all-time favorite people because he lives in a state of bliss. He has found his purpose and he's filled with unlimited peace, joy and love. I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did. This one is definitely a highlight for me and hits home as I continue my own journey to find my ultimate bliss. Enjoy! Joe Patrick Combs: Connection with Patrick: https://www.facebook.com/patrick.combs "Unlocking You Purpose": purposecode.com Bliss Champions: blisschampions.com Patrick's website: patrickcombs.com/ Podcast Music By: Andy Galore, Album: "Out and About", Song: "Chicken & Scotch" 2014 Andy's Links: http://andygalore.com/ https://www.facebook.com/andygalorebass If you enjoy the podcast, would you please consider leaving a short review on Apple Podcasts/iTunes? It takes less than 60 seconds, and it really makes a difference in helping to convince hard-to-get guests. For show notes and past guests, please visit: https://joecostelloglobal.libsyn.com Subscribe, Rate & Review: I would love if you could subscribe to the podcast and leave an honest rating & review. This will encourage other people to listen and allow us to grow as a community. The bigger we get as a community, the bigger the impact we can have on the world. Sign up for Joe's email newsletter at: https://joecostelloglobal.com/#signup For transcripts of episodes, go to: https://joecostelloglobal.lybsyn.com Follow Joe: https://linktr.ee/joecostello Transcript Joe: All right. Hey, Patrick Combs, welcome to the podcast. So glad to have you here. Man, I've been waiting for this, as you know, for quite a long time, a few few months now. I think. So I'm   Patrick: Yeah,   Joe: Really excited   Patrick: Thanks,   Joe: To do   Patrick: Joe.   Joe: This. Yeah.   Patrick: As as I have been too excited to be here with you.   Joe: Well, thank you, I appreciate it and I do appreciate your time. I know you're busy, guy. So so what I like to do is, you know, I was very intrigued by us meeting, even though it was all, you know, via the Web. But, you know, I had this opportunity to see you talk to the group that I was in and, you know, learn a little bit more about you. But what's amazing, and you already know this about yourself is your storytelling and all of that. But before we get into all that, I want to kind of give the audience the back story of who you are and where you know your progression, where you came from. And then we're going to talk about all the cool things that are happening today, because I know you have, like me, a lot of irons in the fire, but you have some really unique things. You're working on things that actually, you know, that resonate deeply with me. And that's the connection I have with you. And so I'd like for you to kind of explain, you know, who where you came from, who you are. And then we'll get into the nitty gritty of everything.   Patrick: Ok, that's nice, Joe. Well, I am, I am I was raised by a single mother. In Bend, Oregon, which a lot of people are familiar with these days, because I guess been super big and super nice, but when I was in Bend, it was super nice, but not super big was sixteen thousand people. And I was my mother, a licensed practical nurse, raised my brother and I on a very small salary in high school. We were living in a trailer house, which was no problem. But, you know, let me just sort of sketch and nobody from our family had ever gone to college. But my mom was a pioneer. She was the one from our family tree that was reaching for Moore, and her primary way of doing that was to encourage my brother and I with phrases like Do what you love. Learn to work with your mind. Don't worry about your mistakes, look it up for yourself in the encyclopedias. That's what I bought those damn things for. And so I was the first person from my family to go to college and. In college, it's first at Lewis and Clark College in Portland, Oregon, and then at San Francisco State, I began to really realize that my purpose had something to do with uplifting and performing.   Patrick: And today, I know I'm fifty four and I know my purpose very clearly, it is through performance and story to uplift. And so but but, you know, you're in your 20s, you're trying to figure out what to do with your life. I felt all the calls, all the tugs in the direction of my purpose. And I could not be more grateful that just by by God's grace, I feel so I don't feel very responsible. The older I get, the less responsible I feel for my choices. I just feel grateful for them. But the greatest choice I ever made in my life and I think the first greatest choice I ever made in my life was that I was going to be an inspirational speaker. Come hell or high water is starting at twenty six years old and an author. And so without any connections, without, quote, the appropriate background or credentials or accomplishments, I did that. I became a paid professional, inspirational speaker, and it's twenty five years later and I've spoken all over the place, but there's been a million people that have that have been in front of me and my audience is listening to me waxen. And then along the way, I expect, you know, I took that purpose and and I expanded into other joyful callings, this the the second that I'm the second sort of biggest imprint that I'm known for, I think, is that I created a comedic.   Patrick: Solo comedy show for and I performed it all around the world in theaters. So if you look in broad strokes at me, if you go Patrick Combs, who is this guy and you read my bio and stuff, you you read Hall of Fame, inspirational speaker. You read comedic performer with the smash hit show and an author of five or six time author. So that's what I look like on paper. And behind the scenes, you know, I have just I have I just live doing what I love. That's been the great game of my life to live doing what I love. To place my joy. Even above my my above money, because somehow I knew early on that if I placed money above Joy, I would not end up joyful and probably not even end up healthy. So so today I have a third company and it's called Bliss Champions, and I and my business partner and I help people really lock into that great truth, unlock their purpose and maximize their joy.   Joe: So I have so many questions. OK, first question this is going to speak to well, no, actually, I want to go back to the early part of this, which is you were lucky enough to have a mother that instilled what she did in you with, you know, that positive reinforcement. I think if when I listen to other people talk who had struggles creating the life that they would ultimately wanted, it seems that we trace a lot of that. Back to how you were brought up and what was said to you by your parents. That's the ultimate it seems to be the ultimate catalyst of what you end up becoming. And the people that had an incredible reinforcement and, you know, go ahead, make mistakes, whatever. Follow your dream, follow what you love. All of that stuff. They end up becoming these incredible people and the ones that didn't have that struggle through ridding that from their brains and flushing all of that garbage out and then having to kind of rebuild themselves at a at a, you know, somewhere in the middle, at an older age. And then eventually the hope is that that that   Patrick: Yes,   Joe: Leaves them so   Patrick: Yes and no,   Joe: Ok.   Patrick: Right? So for me, one hundred percent, yes. My mother my mother gave me the foundation. The schemata and the foundation, both the both the sort of the loving, the loving, positive self reinforcement of positive self-esteem. Combined with really great directives, I mean, she was my first Joseph Campbell, right? He   Joe: Hmm   Patrick: Said, follow your   Joe: Hmm,   Patrick: Bliss. And   Joe: Yeah.   Patrick: She said, do what you love. But when you when you counter correctly and you don't want to add something to it, when you say, well, and then what if you got negative messages from your parents? Well, you know, that's Howard Stern and that's Bono and that's Oprah. So what I know is the difference between, though, is that because I'm really fascinated with how Howard, this conversation Howard Stern and Bono had once both sharing that. So it seems like if you if you got no love speaking for men specifically, you got no love from your if you're trying to somehow live up to a father that beat you down, seems like tremendous successes often created. But then you have to reckon with why you created it, what foundation it was created upon emotional, psychological foundation. It was created on some point. I think there's a reckoning for all of us in our childhood, you know, to say, hey, no one gets out of their childhood unscathed by the by the inadvertent or accidental mistakes of their parenting or perceived mistakes. No one gets out of that. You know, I came out of my childhood heavily damaged by my mother's suicidal nature. You know, so. I just wanted to sort of add that footnote, Joe.   Joe: Yeah, no, I and I and I look at this sometimes through my own lens, that my mother struggled, you know, her family struggled financially. Her father was an alcoholic, left them her mother had to, you know, take care of them all. And so when she when she was raising us, it was always a very cautious sort of raising. It's like, you know, do something that that makes a living. You know, you get health insurance like a very sort of secure, protective sort of thing. And I think that in my own brain caused me to not necessarily do all that I thought I could do, because I just always felt this this limitation of, you know, you shouldn't do that, you know? And I was pursuing a music career. So I you know, that's very, very hard career path like acting and other things like that. Right. And so so when I when I think about this and we have this conversation, my father was very much would push me to say, go, do you know, do that. But it would be more quiet like my mother took care of us. Right. He was working. So she got the say. And it was like, you can't you just can't go do something like that. You have to take the safer route.   Patrick: Now,   Joe: Right.   Patrick: That's   Joe: So.   Patrick: That's impactful, right,   Joe: Right.   Patrick: That that's your first introduction to the rule book for how to proceed   Joe: Yep.   Patrick: In your life, and you were given the one that said proceed with caution.   Joe: Correct.   Patrick: Boy, that I mean, yeah, I was given the opposite rule book.   Joe: Yeah.   Patrick: I really was I was given a very different rulebook, and it that matters, doesn't it?   Joe: Yeah, totally,   Patrick: It matters   Joe: Yeah.   Patrick: Until it doesn't matter, as Secretary says, about suffering. Suffering matters and is helpful until it doesn't matter and it's no longer helpful,   Joe: Mm hmm.   Patrick: Right? So as soon as we wake up to oh shit, that's the rule book I had. Now we're free to grab a different one off the   Joe: Yeah,   Patrick: Shelf.   Joe: Yeah, and it's just whatever that triggers that, you know, and whether that's, you know, reading different things and being around people that, you know, like yourself, that create this this aura of like, no, this there's another way. You know, it's just it's this is one life. Go do it.   Patrick: Right.   Joe: You know, one's around anymore to tell you what to do, especially people that are older. Right. Is just   Patrick: Yeah,   Joe: Go.   Patrick: And there's no safety in playing it safe.   Joe: Right.   Patrick: It would be the rulebook, no safety in playing   Joe: That's   Patrick: It safe. That's   Joe: Hey,   Patrick: The greatest   Joe: That's   Patrick: Risk of all.   Joe: That could be the next title of your next book.   Patrick: Yeah.   Joe: All right, before we get to all that other stuff, so then the next thing that you talked about was the speaking part of it. And I know there's so many people out there and and, you know, they'll definitely be people in my audience that listen to this and and eventually watch the YouTube version of this that look there. They would love to do that sort of thing. And and it's hard to get someone that has had such great success at it like you to where I have you one on one at this moment, say, well, how did you do that? What was the first step? And then what was the part that finally went to something much bigger? And then where you are now, where, you know, the audiences are huge, you're speaking fees. You know, they could be I don't know   Patrick: They're   Joe: What they   Patrick: Big,   Joe: Are, but they're big,   Patrick: They're   Joe: So.   Patrick: Big,   Joe: Right. So   Patrick: Joyfully big.   Joe: Good. So what was the first how did you get into it?   Patrick: So let's I'm going to go fast and I'm going to speak to two different directions, because I heard you very specifically. First, I'm going to go fast on how I got into it. But   Joe: Mm hmm.   Patrick: Second, I'm going to couple that, if you don't mind, with what I would do today if I was starving,   Joe: Perfect.   Patrick: Because there are different worlds.   Joe: Mm hmm.   Patrick: But what they both have in common is the psychology that's necessary. OK, so let me address the psychology last year, OK? What I did is it twenty six years old, I naively said naively and powerfully, impotently said I want to be a speaker, so I want to be paid at it. So how do I get a paid speaking engagement? And it didn't take much looking to say I have to tell people I'm a paid speaker. So I made I bought a mailing list of every college in the United States, half of half of all colleges in the United States of America, those that were part of an association looking for all kinds of talent. And and then I made an ugly ass flyer and I licked and stamped one thousand two hundred and fifty envelopes and I put them all in the mailbox. And and then I and then I waited for the incoming interest, interested prospects, and I cold called and and failed 40 incoming prospective cold calls, a failed 40 out of 40 of them. And then the universe's magic that is always present will always show up, kicked in. And another lead came in and I followed it up. And after four months of failed, failed calls, I got a yes from black out Black Hawk. Technical college in Wausau, Wisconsin, for one thousand two hundred dollars, total airfare included,   Joe: Wow.   Patrick: And I was off and running.   Joe: Yeah.   Patrick: You know, so you can hear both, but you can hear them, you know, the challenge of it and the mechanics of how simple. I somehow intuited. The path to be and I see people overcomplicate marketing all the time, especially in today's world where marketing super sophisticated and you know your call, it looks like you have to be you have a billion followers and all this stuff and none of it's it's rarely ever true.   Joe: Mm hmm.   Patrick: So anyhow, if but but I was launching myself as a speaker in 1992 when if you wanted to have a voice in the world and you wanted to be paid for it, there was, you know, a keynote speaking. Was it? You know, I was looking up to the Tom Peters of the world   Joe: Yeah.   Patrick: Who are being paid 50000 dollars in and they were like, oh, Jesus, Tom Peters has a job where he gets up in front of people. They pay him to give his opinion and his advice. Jesus, I wanted that so badly. I wanted that so freaking bad. So I went after very directly who would pay me to speak to them and give them advice? Who could I command their attention of and be 100 percent confident? I can tell you something that's beneficial.   Joe: Mm hmm.   Patrick: In Wisconsin, as I said, oh, I know what to say to college students because I was there just three years ago and they're not getting the truth about what it takes to to to grab that job you're passionate about and go for it. So and therein lies the the deep psychology of what it takes. It's it's answering a tug on your sleeve from your soul that says you have something to say, you want this and you've and you've got something to say. But the hardest choice. The first three steps are the hardest one is to recognize you got a tug on your sleeve. Your soul is saying, that would be incredible and something is there for us. I believe in that more than I believe in anything in the world. Something in Steven Jobs said it's something inside you intuitively knows what you already want to be. Something inside me intuitively knew I wanted to be on stages, inspiring people, uplifting people to answer that call is difficult. It's hard as hell, only the most courageous. No, only those who find them. Their moment of courage will do it. So you don't there's no such thing as being courageous, there's just being courageous in the right moments. So once you answer that, then the second giant hurdle you got to get over, even in today's world, is what's my message? Because the number one thing, the Powers's speaking career is confidence.   Patrick: That you deserve to be on that stage. And it's hard it's hard to find if you don't know where to look. And so that confidence has to be built on who can I confidently be certain I could make a difference with because of what I know and I've experienced and I've overcome. Twenty six years old, I could not have built a successful speaking career speaking to corporate audiences. Why? I had fantasies about it because Tom Peters was the guy I was looking up to, but I could not find. A firm grant firm ground to stand on, say, I can walk into a corporate audience and tell them what's up. At twenty six now, I haven't worked at a corporation. So so the deepest the second deepest question, the answer for yourself is who come on, just tell me who in front of you. Who do I put in front of you that you go, Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, I can do this. And when you nail that boy, you're like nuclear powered. Now all you've got to do is say, great, how do I tell them I'm available for hire? How do I tell the right people I'm available for hire? But so far in today's world, though, so here's the nuance in today's world, though, Joe, I wouldn't start a keynote speaking career in today's world if I was if I was saying I want to be a speaker,   Joe: Mm hmm.   Patrick: Because now social media exists because a messenger, I'm a messenger and a messenger. And that just means you got the messages you want to share. So so the messenger and me saw. Oh, well, in 1992, that was stages. If you were the keynote speaker in 2000 and 2001, it's every day on social media.   Joe: Right.   Patrick: And that's where so anybody that, quote, wanted to be a speaker said, no, no, you don't want to be a speaker, you want to be a messenger, constantly sharing your messages and often getting invited to stages in stages. Now look like Zoom's. They look like webinars. They look like 20 minute Ted Ted talks.   Joe: Mm hmm.   Patrick: They look like anywhere where you are the authority getting to share your message.   Joe: So let me ask you this, I don't mean to interrupt, but I want to know why, when you first did that speaking when you started on this path, what made you think only three years out of college that you had something to then go back and teach the college kids? What light bulb went off and said, I can go back and explain to them that I'm doing what I love?   Patrick: None of none of my peers, I looked around and none of my peers, all of them that were smarter than me, all of them had better grades than me, even my peers that went to better schools than me, UC Berkeley and Stanford, they all seemed to lack a fundamental understanding that I was benefiting from, which is you should do what you love. Isn't that wild?   Joe: Yeah, it's it's I mean, you're lucky   Patrick: Yeah,   Joe: It's.   Patrick: They they they all seem to have bought into the giant myth or lie or distortion that says you should do what's hot. You should do what you can get. You should do what pays you good money,   Joe: Mm hmm.   Patrick: All of which to   Joe: Mm   Patrick: Me   Joe: Hmm.   Patrick: Look like I'm in a casino. Astonishing bullshit. Like, I think one of the greatest blessings God ever gave me was a radar that said, that's inferior bullshit.   Joe: Mm hmm.   Patrick: That's not what a great, meaningful life of purpose is built on, it's not built on what's hot on what makes money, you know, on what other people will think is cool. It's built on what your soul thirst to do.   Joe: Yeah, it's it's powerful, it's just, you know, and I just had this conversation with our our friend Chris hey, where I feel like there's I don't I don't know how to even say this, but it feels like we're fixing ourselves later in life. And I wish what you did on that first stage for that, those college kids, we could even go a little earlier in life and and, you know, talk to kids that are I don't know what the age, what the mentality is and what the age group and what they can absorb at a certain age. I don't know that scientific research that's been done, but it would be nice, you know, how sometimes a young kid will see something they'll see   Patrick: It's   Joe: On Michael   Patrick: Happening.   Joe: Jordan?   Patrick: It's   Joe: Yeah,   Patrick: Happening,   Joe: I   Patrick: You   Joe: Just   Patrick: Know.   Joe: Wish we could move it. I feel like we're all trying to fix it now   Patrick: Right,   Joe: In   Patrick: But.   Joe: Midlife where I wish we could move it earlier.   Patrick: What you know, I mean, the role models for today's kids that that are young, that are below 10, they're tremendous   Joe: Yeah.   Patrick: Because I have a 12 year old son. And if you've never seen Mr. Beast in, my son loves   Joe: Oh,   Patrick: Mr.   Joe: Yeah, I   Patrick: Beast   Joe: Have   Patrick: And I love Mr. Beast. That's an that's a messenger. That's   Joe: A.   Patrick: An inspirational messenger. Who is role modeling. Hey, you can not only do what's wildly joyful and fun, but you can give your that guy understands giving it a level   Joe: Yeah,   Patrick: That I dream of learning that   Joe: Yeah.   Patrick: I dream of embodying. So, you know, every jet I view this next generation as Savea as more enlightened and it's so awesome to see.   Joe: Yeah, I.   Patrick: But Mr. Resum role modeling for my son, you know, I thought I think I'm a role model for my son, that you can do what you love and have an abundant life. And Mr. Beest is better role model. You know, Mr. B gets it earlier and at a level that's in almost incomprehensible,   Joe: Yeah.   Patrick: You know.   Joe: Yeah, well, OK, so you've talked about the speaking part of it, and then how about a little bit about the one man show, because that was a really interesting story to me about   Patrick: Ask me   Joe: How   Patrick: A question,   Joe: That came about.   Patrick: Would you benefit me with a question?   Joe: Well, I want to know, like what I remember the story, how you saw it on TV and a trigger, you were like, I want to do that. Like when you said, I want to create this show. And just that one night in that hotel room that triggered it all for you, just like that, you're still on stage, but it's a step in a completely different direction.   Patrick: Yeah, thank you, Joe. OK, so then let me think about. Making the super relevant for anybody listening. OK, so what's really remarkable to me is that we can be successful. So maybe someone's listening to say, I love my life. I like my life. I'm Ahmad, I'm successful, and you're just clapping along and you're saying, oh, yeah, I got this. I couldn't be happier for you, but I want to I want to tell you a true story from my life about when I felt that way, but I wasn't. But I wasn't. But there was something much bigger that was tugging at my sleeve that was very hard to acknowledge. So I was this quote, by my standards, very successful speaker all over the country, whatever. And then but. There was this secret unrealized ambition, Joe, and you haven't you haven't heard this sort thing, and the secret unrealized ambition was to be a story teller in the theater, just the only guy on stage, enthralling and entertaining an audience and making them laugh with just a personal story from my life. This and this was a dream that came to me that was inspired. It's not a dream. It's this was a. A soul calling. That I felt when I was about, oh, twenty two or twenty three years old, because it even before I became a speaker, my girlfriend took me to a theater, not a movie theater. And we watched Spalding Gray, a legendary theater performer, just tell us a story for an hour and a half from behind his desk. And I walked out of that theater, Joe, and I turned to my girlfriend in her old 1964 Rambler. And I said, thank you for bringing to me that that was amazing. And she said, Oh, yeah, he's so great, isn't he? I said, I looked her in the eyes. I said. Now, that was unbelievable,   Joe: Ok.   Patrick: I said what I would give to do that. Because I thought I just seen the best thing a human being could ever do with their life and, you know, and this woman who loved me very much and meant nothing harmful by it responded. Yeah, but you'd have to be funny. Bakersfield was super funny, and what she didn't know is, is that was like shooting an arrow accidentally right through the chink in my armor because I heard it and said, oh, yeah, what was I thinking? I just sat in there with a master. And I'm not funny and I'm not even good storyteller, so I'm just sitting here in this 1964 Rambler having myself a pipe dream. I can't do that what he just did, he made it look effortless because he's a master and so I built a speaking career, which I very, very, very much love, but I still had this secret, unrealized ambition in it. 30, what you were referring to is at 33 years old. Well, another theatre performer had come on the scene, a named John Leguizamo. And John Leguizamo was in my book was Spalding Gray Times 10. And no disrespect to Spalding Gray, the creator of the medium. But but where Spalding Gray sat behind a desk, John Leguizamo tore up use the entire stage became 18 different characters, male, female, young or old, and was 10 times funnier in my book. So he came on.   Patrick: I was there in a hotel room and he has his HBO special came on. And I've never felt worse about my. In some way about my sort of career self and, well, this really I got this horrible, horrible ache pain in my solar plexus, and it was the pain of fear, of paralysis, of envy, of self-loathing. Because what? Because it was this swirling ball of hell in my stomach that said, I love what this man is doing and I want it so bad for myself, but it's impossible for me to get to because it's it's. I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough to ever do what I dream of doing. And and that was that was the that was my fear of not doing it. You know, built up for 10 years is, as we like to say in my business, Bliss Champions. Your purpose left on, attended to becomes a purpose, curse becomes a curse. And so on that hotel room bed, I felt the curse and the pain. And fortunately, I grabbed for a pad of paper and I wrote at the top, what are you so afraid of? And I started freeriding. And I wrote all these fears, you'd expect them looking bad, looking stupid, being awful, wasting my time, you know, wasting money, taking away from my really good speaking career. And then in the end, I wrote something that really surprised me. I'm afraid I won't be as great as John Leguizamo or Spalding Gray.   Patrick: And when I wrote that sentence. It like took the lid off of something super dark and evil in me, because when I saw that sentence in the light of day, I never realized that was one of my fears. It looked absurd. I laughed out loud at the absurdity of I have never told and I've never even attempted what they've done and yet. And yet the reason why I'm not going for it is because I not I might I'm comparing myself to the greatest human beings on planet Earth at this craft. And it just struck me as ridiculous, and then a voice came into my mind, a thought that I never had before, couldn't you just do it for fun? And the weight of the world was lifted off that secret, unrealized ambition, me, who's so success minded, had never thought of just doing it for the sake of fun, the pleasure of I should try that. Who cares if I fail? And that was my ginormous breakthrough on my greatest bliss ever. And so I so I started doing it for fun shortly after that. And to make a long story short, for 15 years, I toured with my one person solo show. I and this is a metric I care about, but is not why I did the show. I did the show for the love of doing the show, for   Joe: Hmm.   Patrick: The love of learning to do the show, for the love of hearing audiences laugh. But in the end, what blows my mind is a hundred thousand people bought tickets to see my show. Hundred thousand people sat in my audience for 15 years. I had a red carpet tour of the theater world and today it's being made into a Hollywood movie.   Joe: It's amazing.   Patrick: Right.   Joe: And it's incredible.   Patrick: So.   Joe: So what you said or you said, why not just do it for fun if someone's in the same spot that you are in that hotel room, when you were watching him perform on that HBO special, would you say that that's a good starting point for some people who just can't seem to to to do that thing that they so want to do as it just. Is that a good trigger? I don't know if that's the right thing,   Patrick: It   Joe: But   Patrick: Is.   Joe: Is that OK?   Patrick: In Bliss Champions, we've learned we've got a real extraordinary map for for these for these kind of we call them bliss journeys, going into speaking was a blitz journey for me. A journey to follow my bliss. Going into the theater was a journey to follow my bliss. Writing a book was a journey to follow my bliss. So we've got a really detailed map. And what's surprising is the biggest pitfall we know of on the map is the desire to monetize what's possible to use to Zoom to early. So   Joe: Interesting.   Patrick: You think of your bliss, right, and then immediately society is trained us to think, but how will you make money at that?   Joe: Mm hmm.   Patrick: And that kills more bliss journeys. The two biggest killers of all blessed journeys is not getting started and trying to monetize to even think about monetizing too soon. So they're the antidote to monetizing too soon is forget about monetizing. Do it for fun. Do it for fun. The benefit is Joy.   Joe: Mm hmm.   Patrick: The benefit is fun fund, the benefit is aliveness, then the benefit is ball in motion, and momentum has to be included in anybody's realistic formula of great success. Momentum is one of the major ingredients of great success. So as long as you're sitting around not doing something, trying to figure out how you how you can guarantee success on it, you got no momentum. You got nothing.   Joe: Yeah, yeah, that's   Patrick: So, yeah, just do it for fun.   Joe: I love it,   Patrick: That's my mantra now, Joe, is   Joe: I love it.   Patrick: Is I don't wake up my career and figure out how to do things for money, I wake up and I figure out how to do things for joy and the money. I mean, you know, I care about money. I make good money. But the money is and is a secondary thought. It is the longest money has that rightful positioning in my life, it's secondary,   Joe: Mm hmm.   Patrick: Like once I once I figured out what's joyful to me and I've got emotion in it, we can figure out how to monetize it. No problem. You know what we teach English champions. If you can't monetize your your most blissful activity, don't blame it on your bliss. Blame it on your on your business skills. And you don't have to blame it on your business skills, you just have to know it's not my bliss that I can't monetize. I don't have to change my bliss or forgo my bliss. I have to learn to monetize.   Joe: Yeah, it's you hit it on the head and it's a it's amazing how many people have such great talents, great ideas, great aspirations, and it's just that putting that one foot in front of the next one. And the one thing I think you hit it right on the head is just how I can make a living at that. How can I do that? And it's it's it would be so cool if people just did it for the fun of it and then the joy and what they bring to other people, all of that other stuff the universe delivers because it just realizes that's what you were meant to do. Right. It's just.   Patrick: Yeah.   Joe: Well, so you mentioned Bliss Champions, you know, throughout this conversation. And I think this is the appropriate time now to sort of clue in because, again, we're we're limited on time and I have a million things. So let's talk about this champions. So I would like to know I ran across it just because once we got off that call where you were teaching us how to tell the story, you know, tell our story and a very creative way, I then was doing all my own research and I said, who is this guy? Man, I love the way he talks. And I can tell that there's just something about him in his soul that's on fire. And I want to know more about it. And then it took me to Blessed Champion. So I'd like for you to explain to the audience what this champion is, what it does, what you know, how, and then we'll put in the show links all of the other stuff to get in touch with you. But I you know, to explain what it what its purpose is would be awesome.   Patrick: Ok, well, I'll give you I'll give you us a scoop, Joe Torre, I don't know when you're going to publish this. I actually should ask you, when are you going to publish this? Probably.   Joe: I can do it whenever.   Patrick: Ok, well, you   Joe: I do   Patrick: Know.   Joe: What a week, normally I can postpone this, I can I can   Patrick: Ok, well, look, in   Joe: Do   Patrick: About   Joe: It tomorrow.   Patrick: In about one in about one week, two weeks tops, we're going to announce our brand new book   Joe: Ok.   Patrick: And I'm so excited about it. It is the conversation we're having. So I'm going to tell you the first person I'm going to tell, it's called "Purpose Code", How to "Unlock Your Purpose", maximize your joy, astound yourself and if someone says, oh, jeez, I am interested in this free report we made about it, which is the 10 reasons why people don't unlock their purpose and go to purposecode.com. So no one knows that website exists yet. So.   Joe: Ok.   Patrick: So but they're going to find out first through going to purposecode.com.   Joe: I love   Patrick: So   Joe: It.   Patrick: Bliss Champions. Bliss Champions, so the surprising thing, Joe, is in, you tell me how much you've seen as I can't believe how much I've seen, it's shocking to me is how many successful business owners there are. Who are lacking joy. These are people I'm telling you, like Mega Millions dream home, not one dream car in the driveway, as many as they desire looked up to by all their peers and all their employees. Happy that they built the business, happy they overcame all this stuff and made it to the top, but their deepest secret. Is something's missing. And so my business partner was one of those guys, you know, he cashed out for 50 million bucks. And still, something was missing. So his story is quite remarkable. He's not here, so we won't tell it, but but. As you saw, so he both knew it through personal experience and sitting in on groups like on the IS. Know, as the entrepreneurs organization, you got to be a successful entrepreneur to qualify to get in. Well, one of the first things that my business partner saw up close and personal through that organizations, wow, so many people here have secret unrealized ambitions that they're not going for because somehow they're successful business.   Patrick: Has it been a little bit of a bind? And somehow along the way, while they were flexing their entrepreneurial muscles. They their their muscles for joy and bliss atrophied or were never developed, and so we both inherently understood how much impact if you can shift a person at the top of an organization to be joyful, they will spread. They will spread that message through the entire organization. Leaders that lead from Joy and that follow their bliss want everybody to follow their bliss and maximize their joy. That is the you can't be living joyfully and blissfully, truly without wanting to spread joy and bliss. It's impossible. Love, it's impossible for love to not desire to spread love. So. So. Bliss Champions is our remedy, it's we're four years into into seeking out and accepting individuals who who are successful but know something is missing. They don't know how to figure out what what is missing in what would be in their lexicon, a smart move, because they're used to everything being, quote, smart, right. What would be a good, smart, legitimate move that would bring them more joy? And we're experts at that. We help them unlock their purpose, because once you know exactly what your purpose is and you can put it in words, you have a true north and you not now you don't make missteps.   Patrick: And then but once you unlock your purpose, then then the great opportunity is to feel great, you know what your purpose is, what bliss journey should you take up? And there's a lot of choices. So you have to have good decision making structure. So we call ourselves Bliss Sherpa's because we've been up and down the on our own bliss journeys through our whole lives. That's that's been the blessing of our lives. We know the territory. We know the mistakes. We know the pitfalls. We know where where people quit and why they quit. So we Sherpa people up on blissful journeys and all of our secrets to doing that, that we've you know, I've been on I've been Sherpa and I've been a Sherpa for people following their passion and living their dreams and following their bliss for twenty five years. And Eric has been doing it for an equal amount of time as a CEO of large organizations. So this is why I'm so thrilled that we wrote a book together on it and the book's called "Purpose Code". And all of our secrets are in that book.   Joe: That's great, it is was there some momentous occasion that how are you and Eric connected?   Patrick: Yeah, Eric cashed out for millions of dollars, and he and the day after he cashed out and he went to lay in by his pool, just view overlooking his wine estate. He was rushed to the hospital and almost died from   Joe: Uh.   Patrick: Poor health while he was laying in that hospital bed contemplating his mortality. He realized I didn't finish the job of my purpose. And he knew that Eric's always known I've known Eric twenty five years, Eric has always known his purpose is to help other people, is to help is to inspire himself to live joyfully and to take that inspiration and spread it to other people. This is the thing about purpose. Here's a lesson and purpose. Your purpose is, first and foremost, what selfishly brings you joy. And you can't support your purpose if you're looking for if you're looking outside of yourself for where to save the world, you will you'll you won't see it when you say, look, it's just selfish. Something inside me always, you know, is always finds joy when I'm in this direction, when I'm doing this kind of activity, I'm my best self. Once you identify where your best self, what you'll see is then that when you give yourself that gift, you automatically give it to others and desire to give it to others. And that's where your purpose becomes a service to the world. So so, Eric, figure it out, man, you know, I I've always been living my purpose, but I slipped off track. While I was going on flexing his entrepreneurial muscles and going on this incredible monetary tear.   Joe: Mm hmm.   Patrick: And so he got out of the hospital, began working on his health and called me up and said, let's start list champions. There's a there's a he said there's you know, the one thing you and I have always been united on is wanting to help people follow their bliss.   Joe: Now, that's really crazy. That's.   Patrick: And the reason why I said yes is because I had hidden from my bliss for 10 years in in fear, right, my secret ambition seemed   Joe: Yeah.   Patrick: Impossible. And so I knew the cost of doing that. I knew the falsehood of doing that. And I and I knew that I knew the tremendous pressures that await anybody on the other side of finally finding the wherewithal to   Joe: But.   Patrick: Do it. And so, as I said, once you've experienced that kind of joy and bliss and truth, you want to share it with others. You want to say, like, I'll show you where your greatest life is and society just doesn't it just doesn't have enough messages. You know, it's societies has too many messages about smart, about practical, about money, about status. And all that stuff comes with following your bliss. But it can't be it can't be the deciding factors or you won't know where your bliss is calling you to.   Joe: Yeah, it's like we have it backwards, it's like the cart before the horse, right. And if we can just flip it, it's everything just sort of opens up and through Bliss Champions, you help people to work through this. And then ultimately the goal would be is is it a week long?   Patrick: It's a six it's a six month program.   Joe: Six month program, so.   Patrick: Yes, it's a month program, people apply to get in.   Joe: A.   Patrick: We we we work with seven people at a time, cohorts of super small seven. So it's super individual. And and then it culminates after six months of coaching and masterminding, it culminates in our super, super specialty. We take you to Bliss Island, which is in Hawaii where we own the property and we run an extraordinary five day retreat to try to really launch our our participants and into their bliss.   Joe: Yeah, it's incredible. I   Patrick: It's   Joe: Love   Patrick: Fun,   Joe: It.   Patrick: It's   Joe: You   Patrick: Super   Joe: Know you   Patrick: Fun.   Joe: Know that I love it. I just   Patrick: Yeah.   Joe: One of these days I'm going to be a blessed champion and I'll have to figure that out. But sooner than later,   Patrick: Now, we've   Joe: I'm   Patrick: Launched   Joe: Not.   Patrick: We launched Authors', we've launched we've taken people that that thought this isn't a this isn't worth a book. And now they're published on the best publishers on Earth and they've got a multi thing deal with one guy has only he said his bliss was motorcycle's writing Harlesden. He thought, what can I do with that, that you can't monetize that? And and now he has one of the only dealership licenses in the country to rent Harley's and take people on Harley tours, Harley Bike Tours.   Joe: Mm   Patrick: He   Joe: Hmm.   Patrick: Has his own Harley bike tour dealership. We've taken CEOs who had giant companies but weren't happy and now they're super joyful, super happy. Their marriages are better. And they're and in addition to running their company, they're joyfully doing this thing they always dreamed of doing. They're they're more amplified, express self. So our stories sound like that, you know.   Joe: Yeah, that's great. So how can someone find out about this champions and how do they go about doing what they need to to become a part of that program?   Patrick: Well, let's I'm going to answer that really quickly and then let's go to a different territory, if   Joe: Ok.   Patrick: You don't mind, OK, because I don't want someone listening to this. I'm looking at the clock here and I think that we have about 12 minutes. And I   Joe: I   Patrick: Like   Joe: Just   Patrick: To maximum   Joe: Want to I think   Patrick: My.   Joe: It's amazing. I wanted to   Patrick: Thanks.   Joe: Give it its time because I   Patrick: Well,   Joe: Think   Patrick: Everybody   Joe: It's, you know.   Patrick: Everybody should start "Purpose Code", because the biggest value that they can get right away is truly to read this report that I wrote. And it's called "The Ten Things That Stop People From Unlocking Their Purpose". You got to know, how come I don't know my purpose? What am I missing here? So go to purposecode.com and just grab that free report.   Joe: Perfect.   Patrick: And then and then it'll it'll lead you to learning about Bliss Champions. It's an application process. I would love people to apply. It's free to apply, you know, and then we individually interview you get to know you and and we have all kinds of ways to serve. And   Joe: Perfect.   Patrick: You can get the book in your hands.   Joe: Ok,   Patrick: But   Joe: Cool.   Patrick: But let's let's let's see how many more how much more insider. Something super helpful we can pack into the last ten minutes here.   Joe: Perfect. So I have something that I totally wanted to ask you that if you can put it in an understandable layman's terms where it doesn't come across as being overly spiritual and fufu. But you talk about being present in so many people these days are talking about that. But I love watching your talks. When you you know, you're out doors taking a walk and you have your phone and you talk about it. But how do you put it in and like everyday   Patrick: Layman's   Joe: Terms   Patrick: Terms,   Joe: For it? Yeah,   Patrick: Yeah,   Joe: Because, you   Patrick: Yeah.   Joe: Know, everybody looks at and go, wait a second, you want me to sit in silence for ten minutes, meditate, or you want me   Patrick: I   Joe: To   Patrick: Don't write.   Joe: All of those things to pull yourself back in, to be centered, to have, you know, hold space for yourself, all these things. And it's just so hard these days. We're getting bombarded from all sides. So because of you and how you can communicate these things, I want to know from you what being president means and how someone could practice it on a daily basis   Patrick: Ok.   Joe: Where it's not this.   Patrick: You're   Joe: This.   Patrick: Making me. You're making me super happy because now you're bringing up my next favorite subject.   Joe: Perfect.   Patrick: So   Joe: Awesome.   Patrick: So I. I am both deeply spiritual about this, but but there's no need to talk about it in that way because I didn't approach it that way. I just approached it from man, I need I need a different way to do my life. And I found that different way to do my life. And it was the most revolutionary, impactful, beneficial thing I've ever learned or done in my life. And so you'll see me spend the majority of the rest of my life has boiled down to two two things. Two things on one hand, follow your bliss. And we've been talking about why, why, because it's your bliss, it will bring you bliss and, you know, as we say in Bliss Champions sometimes. Is there something better than BLIS because BLIS means perfect happiness? So what are you looking for if you're not looking for perfect happiness? So but in follow your bliss, there's a doing this to it, right? It's it's OK. We don't similar, but there is another path to bliss. And so I have a right hand and a left hand strategy to life in my right hand because I love having a career. I love to have something to do every day. I love making, you know, while having a career. I follow my bliss and in my left hand, I, I. Nowhere Bliss's without doing anything, I know how to find BLIS every single day of my life, no matter.   Patrick: What happens, no matter the circumstances, no matter the hardships, no matter the challenges, I know where bliss is, even in storms. So my career could not be going well, but in my left hand, I still know where Joy is every single day and how to get there in a concrete fashion. So that to me, my this left hand strategy I'm talking about that you brought up that I call a presence practice. That's where it sits in my life. So. Let's see, it's a good window into this. I'm taking a little quiet space for it to find me. Why would someone want to practice presence? Because what I didn't know I was well into my 40s, Joe, and I had never once wielded the word ego. And and up until the point when I got a new definition and it became very meaningful to me, Igoe to me meant don't be egotistical. It meant, oh, or you have a healthy ego. It takes a healthy ego. That's all I thought of ego when I was in. And then, to be honest with you, I hit a rock bottom in my life sometime in my 40s, my ego, the my shadow self, my bad behavior, the worst of me. The worst of me put me in a position where I were where I was at my rock bottom, and I thought to myself, there's got to be a better way.   Patrick: And I reached for there had been a book sitting on my cell for a long time that I had no interest in. It was called.    "The Power of Now", Eckard Tolle. And I grabbed this book and it re educated me and it re informed me and it completely transformed my life. The book didn't transform my life as much as my adherence to what the book said for the next seven years on a daily basis transformed my life. It did it very quickly, but I was so in love with what I was discovering that that I just kept being a diligent student of what Eckhart Tolle calls presence. OK, so in a very short amount of time, here's what I would love somebody to experiment with on this call that is non-spiritual. The only thing that is ever causing you a bad feeling. Is your thoughts? Now, so I had to wrap my mind around that first experiment with that, because I used to believe, no, I'm having a bad feeling because this shitty thing happened. And I was positive that was true. Until I wasn't until I began to say, wait a minute, is there a buffer in me that's causing the pain, not the situation, this is easily answered, but you should but everybody should try it on. That's life changing, because what if situations and bad circumstances are not causing you bad feelings? What if it's what you think about those bad circumstances, how often you think about those bad circumstances that are causing you a bad feeling? OK, for instance.   Patrick: I want to talk about the pandemic and then I'll talk about the pandemic, for instance, the day that it's announced that we're going to be in quarantine for however long, an indeterminate amount and 20, 20 people in the world had multiple possibilities for a thought about it. Somebody sitting in their home could have taken that news and began thinking all kinds of really bad thoughts that, hey, are well justified. I'm not here to argue with the with the with whether that thought is justified. But somebody could have been sitting there thinking, this is awful. I might lose my job. I like going outside now. I can't going outside. What are the implications of not going outside? What if I'm in my house forever? What if I get covid-19? What if my friends get covered and I die? What if they never leave? The governor is terrible. The president is terrible. The vaccine is terrible. Was it made in the lab? Those thoughts are causing in a bad and negative emotions in the body. And what if and some people thought those every hour of every day. Not not by choice, but by by habituated pattern of their mind, getting to think without ever being safety, without ever any but any other force saying hold on.   Joe: Mm hmm.   Patrick: Do we want to think like this 24/7? Is it serving us? OK, but equally to lots of people did that. So lots of people had horrible emotions. And I'm not saying don't do that, I'm just saying be aware that's why you had horrible emotions. What didn't happen is the pandemic is the the announcement the pandemic did not reach into anybody's body invisibly and say you now feel bad. Outside circumstances cannot reach in your body and and flip switches and say you feel bad. They cannot be the cause. If only a fox can be the cause, equally so and wildly true, unbeknownst to me just six years ago, but now perfectly known to me and the most exciting thing I've ever learned is some people heard the news of the pandemic. And fought and fought like this. Oh. We're going to go into quarantine. Now with to wash the dishes. And didn't have further thoughts about it until there was more news or until those thoughts were necessary. And didn't feel negative emotions, or if they did feel the negative emotions, only felt them for as long as that emotion lasted, while it wasn't being sustained by unchecked, unreasonable, insane, incessant thinking. So a president's practice is simply, well, on one hand, a presence practices the deep recognition that circum negative circumstance circumstances don't cause you upset your thoughts about them do and your ego. Ego should be defined as when when you're not thinking your thoughts, they're thinking you. And you don't even know it. So I learned to not be the crazy guy, the insane guy who is washing dishes, who is physically washing dishes, but who mentally in my mind for 15, 20, 30 minutes is having an imaginary argument that I'm winning with somebody else.   Patrick: I learned to not be that guy, I learned that I that I was concerned that we're all constantly that guy. And that you don't have to be that you can wash dishes while you wash dishes. And that if you do so, here's what I promise you, because I know from experience, if you learn to quiet, to say presence means I'm not going to be in the future, I'm not going to be in hallucinatory future scenarios. I'm not going to let my mind run off to hallucinatory past scenarios. I'm not going to hallucinate about the future. I'm not going to hallucinate about the past because those can only be hallucinations or call them imaginations. You cannot make the future real. You cannot make the past real. The only real is ever. But you can find through your five senses. So presidents practice means live in the real more often. Want to think about something, think about what you're doing. Be what you're doing. Washing dishes, wash the dishes. If you're working on your book, work on your book, if you're talking to another person, talk to another person. If you're watching the birds in your yard, watch the birds in your yard. So here's the let me give this for me, the big wild finish, first of all, if that's all I ever knew and I figured out how to do that six years ago without any other further teachings, I would be right where I am today.   Patrick: I and these are not light sentences to me, these are the greatest revelations of my life piece. A profound sense of constant peace, a profound sense of joy for no reason and a loving feeling. You know, that filled what I used to have this black hole of, gee, I wish I could get more love. And now I have a fountain of love that just comes from inside me for no reason, peace, love and joy for no reason are what automatically and guaranteed come from being present doesn't require meditation. It requires noticing that your thoughts are running rampantly out of your control and you can distance yourself from them. And then once you distance yourself from them, you can I I like to call them the roommate, you can notice your thoughts are not you? They are a crazy roommate that's always stirring up shit in your head and never stops talking. And you are not that roommate. And you can move that roommate to the garage in the day you move. And it doesn't happen in a day the more you put that roommate in the garage. One hundred percent, peace, joy, love, for no reason other than you moved your roommate to the garage and. Miracles will begin manifesting in your life. For some reason, the entire universe is more capable then of coming to support your happiness.   Joe: It's incredible. I just I can sit and talk with you all day, and we've already gone over our man. I could just I literally could sit here and then do this. So before we leave this one subject, I think it's important. Is there is there any sort of when you talk about the practice, is there any little tidbit of how someone can do that in the simplest way? Because I think everyone gets bogged down with all of the things that are just, you know, for example, we talk about meditation. Is this hard? I mean, I used to get up every day that I made it a promise that I wouldn't do anything until I just put my headphones on, put the app on on my iPhone, turn. Everything else also wouldn't be interrupted and just did it. And I felt like that was my most productive. Let's say it was a year that I did it straight. I haven't done it in so long. I feel like I got to get back to it. I can do it like I don't mind meditating. But first there are people that will never do that. So what is of super   Patrick: I'm   Joe: Super   Patrick: One of those   Joe: Simple.   Patrick: People that doesn't matter to me.   Joe: Ok,   Patrick: I was one of those people that will never meditate,   Joe: Ok.   Patrick: And I'm really happy to say that that both are fantastic choices, whichever you feel called to clearly. And they both lead to the same way. But if someone if if in some crazy really hypothetical, I can tell when I'm saying something stupid, I'm saying something stupid. But in some crazy, stupid hypothetical situation, it's a pattern. You have to choose one for the world meditation or presence practice. I would say we got to go with presence practice. It's easier. OK, so, yes, I have two things that are really simple and super practical and bless you for asking Joe the number one thing and and wildly enough this what I'm about to say is the prescription and the advice of seemingly every great. Teacher, you know, on the planet, that's that is spiritual and it's it's to be conscious of of one single breath. So at any point in time you go, Oh, I want to do it. I want to try this president's practice. You would simply take a one breath and be aware of that of your breathing for one breath. And your awareness, you can shift around, you just say, look, my job is to be aware that I'm having this breath so that for you that might mean, oh, I'm going to focus on the feeling of the air. Coming into my body and exhaling from my body. Or you might say, I'm going to become aware of the feeling of my body expanding and contracting, or you might you're awareness might say I'm going to be aware of the sound of my breath. Doesn't matter one conscious breath because it is impossible to be conscious of your breathing and think a thought at the same time. But conscious breath is both a great it's a great present to practice because it will be difficult for most people at the beginning of their journey to complete one conscious breath without becoming aware. Fuck, I   Joe: No,   Patrick: Started   Joe: That's right.   Patrick: Thinking. I started thinking during I, my mind got off the leash and started thinking something halfway into that breath. And so that's the great teacher one because that's OK. That's a president's practice of presidents. Practice isn't isn't stopping all thoughts. It's becoming aware. Are of the thoughts of the roommate. It's becoming you're you're you're winning when you go to the roommate came in and started talking shit while I was trying to take a breath. So that's called a wake, that's a state of a weakness that in as long as you're awake to your thoughts, peace, love, joy and miracles will begin pouring into your life. Mark my words. So but as you will practice that, too, you can take a conscious breath without thinking on most given days. Wonderful. OK, the second practice, right, is that built my life on this. Is. Step number one, notice when you're feeling anything that's bad. The only thing this doesn't apply to is physical pain. OK, so I want disabled people to eliminate physical pain. It can be applied to physical plant pain, but let's just say that's an advanced course. OK, but the step number one, the most important step is to notice, oh, I'm feeling upset in any way. And there should only be one word. It would be helpful if if people change and said there's only one word now we're going to throw out all these different various words hate, depression, loneliness, sadness, grief, worry, overwhelm, stress, anxiety, who cares? Fear.   Patrick: They all deserve really one word. Suffering. They're all a form of suffering, so notice the next time that you're suffering a negative emotion. Boom. Now there's a great opportunity for step number two, OK? And usually when you notice this, what's fascinating is you'll have been feeling it for a long time. That's how long it takes for awareness to come in and say, well, I'm feeling something bad here, but I did this very for at least a year and I got to choose my life. So first, I know I have a bad feeling. Step number two is built on the awareness we already learned. Every bad feeling began with a thought that was against something happening. Every bad feeling is caused by a thought that always follows the same structure. This shouldn't be happening to me. This shouldn't be happening. OK, so when you have a bad feeling, like you're like a person trying to defuse a bomb before it really blows up, and so you trace the wires knowing at the other end of the wire there will be a fire. You had a thought at the other end of those wires that was something about you thought it shouldn't be happening. Let me give you some examples. He or she should have spoken to me like that. I should have gotten that job. I shouldn't have gotten that. There should be more money in my bank account. There should be a different president there. There. That guy shouldn't be president.   Patrick: That shouldn't have happened through my television screen. I shouldn't be in this condition. I shouldn't have that ailment. I shouldn't have this pressure. I shouldn't have been raised that way. I shouldn't. So all you're doing is tracing those wires to what did I think shouldn't be? As it is. That was the source of your pain. Now, once you have that, the third step is to take that shouldn't it shouldn't have. And. See if you can find any part of yourself and you always can. It's harder at first that says. I can allow that it. That it is that way and you're why your justification, why can you allow that it is that way can always be. Sanity because. It is. That way. And as soon as you accomplish any ability to allow that, what you are against, to just allow that, it is it's even if it's temporary allowance, it's not saying I'm OK with that person being president forever. It's not an allowance of forever. It's I'm OK. I can allow that. That person is president. Currently, because they are. So you just looking for this momentary allowance of what all spiritual teachers say of what is to be against and I love it when they point out to be against what is is insanity. Because. I'm against that this can exist really, because it exists. Could you allow that it exists? I can allow that exist, why? Because it does exist, right?   Joe: So, so far   Patrick: Right   Joe: Of.   Patrick: Now, it's not a total acceptance of and I and I can I'm and I'm allowing that these cans will exist for forever. It's not saying that. Can you allow that exist right now? At first, you'll hear your ego go, no, I hate that can. But can you allow that it exists right now is anything. Yeah, why does it exist right now? And   Joe: The.   Patrick: And all all the it shouldn't exist or they shouldn't exist. It shouldn't exist. You can do that for 12 years. Twenty four, seven years can will still exist.   Joe: It's just.   Patrick: So if you can allow that, it exists. You have accomplished. A presence practice, because presence will what will happen next will always happen, you will feel better and you'll notice how I feel. I'm returning to peace. And once you accomplish returning to peace, you'll notice or I just feel in general more love, and then after a while you'll notice, someday you'll take a measure of your life, you'll say, is my lecture. If I say my life's joyful all the time everywhere. Why? Because you moved your roommate, your ego to the ground.   Joe: Oh, it's awesome.   Patrick: Now, there's a fourth final step to that, and I think of it as advanced, but so sometimes it's hard and sometimes it's easy, but it's super fun. The fourth step, the third step was, can you allow that? Something is what it is. And the fourth possibility is can you embrace. That it is what it is. Is there anything in you that could embrace that could say not only can I allow the can is there, but I can embrace that the can is there and you can see why that's a harder step because something you were previously just totally against, could you embrace it? Now, it's a that's a different sort of class, it's not complicated, but it takes more words, my journey towards learning to embrace things I was previously against. But I'll tell you, like some of the greatest revelations of your life come when you learn to embrace everything. Everything's.   Joe: It's really powerful, man

How does a guy who used to sell fighter jets move on to build an Ecommerce company that sells single-blade razors? It’s an interesting question with an even more interesting answer, and on this episode of Up Next in Commerce, Patrick Coddou tells the tale, and gives some insights into the world of Ecommerce along the way. Patrick is the founder and CEO of Supply, and even though the company has been in business since 2015, has seen 80% of its total profits have come in over just the last several months. So what’s Patrick’s secret? In today’s interview, Patrick dives into the nitty-gritty of what changed, including how he finally discovered exactly what profit margins he — and most companies — need to hit in order to achieve sustained success. Learn what that number is and more, on this episode.  Main Takeaways: Always Be Testing: To achieve the best user experience and optimize sales, you need to constantly test new ideas. Whether it’s pop-ups to showcase new items, implementing a legacy program, or experimenting with video, you learn something new every time you test. Plus, sometimes the failed tests are even more valuable than the successful ones.    It’s All About the Margins: Businesses live and die based on their gross margins. If you are not charging enough and/or pay too much to have your products made, you’re putting an unnecessary financial strain on your business that could break it. Riding the Ecommerce Waves: There is a ton of volatility in the Ecommerce industry. In order to achieve sustained success, companies need to be nimble and able to adapt to the changing tides. Keep overhead low, focus on your P&L and build processes that allow you to make quick shifts when needed. For an in-depth look at this episode, check out the full transcript below. Quotes have been edited for clarity and length. --- Up Next in Commerce is brought to you by Salesforce Commerce Cloud. Respond quickly to changing customer needs with flexible Ecommerce connected to marketing, sales, and service. Deliver intelligent commerce experiences your customers can trust, across every channel. Together, we’re ready for what’s next in commerce. Learn more at salesforce.com/commerce --- Transcript: Stephanie: Welcome to another episode of Up Next in Commerce. This is your host, Stephanie Postles and today on the show, we have the founder of Supply, Patrick Coddou. Patrick, welcome. Patrick: Thank you for having me. Stephanie: Yeah, we're excited to have you on. I was doing a little bit of LinkedIn stalking and your background... At first, when I stumbled on your LinkedIn, I'm like, "Is this the right guy?" I saw a background in selling fighter jets and I wanted to start there with you of kind of like a little bit of your background before you founded Supply. Patrick: Sure. So I spent my education as a mechanical engineering and before starting this company, I spent eight and a half years in the corporate world. I worked in the aerospace industry and in particular I worked on military aircraft. We make some fighter aircraft here in Fort Worth, Texas where I'm from. Stephanie: Very cool. And what does that look like behind the scenes of working on aircraft? I saw that you did, I think an $8 billion deal. So I want to hear a little bit more details around that. Patrick: Yes. I worked on it. It would be very, very arrogant of me to claim that I was responsible for that deal. Yeah. So in general, and I'm happy to go deeper if you want to, but in general, the US government works with foreign militaries to arm and equip them with certain pieces of equipment that we think that are necessary for them to have and to support interoperability between allies. So one of those aircraft was called the F-35. And I think the deal you're talking about was maybe the deal with South Korea we did probably five or six years ago where the US government sold, I don't remember how many, 60, 70 aircraft to South Korea. Patrick: So that was a really phenomenal experience getting to fly there and negotiate with our partners over in South Korea and spent a lot of time kind of immersing myself in their culture. Just a cool, cool thing to be a part of. So I learned a lot there, but at the same time was ready to get out when I left. Stephanie: Yeah. So let's hear a little bit about you're almost a decade at, I think Lockheed Martin and you're starting to get the entrepreneurial itch. So what was happening while you were there and what had you make the jump. Patrick: Yeah. So as outrageously cool as the subject matter was of what I worked on in my previous life, it was... As awesome as the subject was, it was as equally terrible to work in a corporate environment like that one for me personally. Not for everybody, but for me. And especially working with the US government. Just procedures and processes and just layers of bureaucracy. It just led to boredom and frankly anxiety and depression personally. Just wanting to be fulfilled in my work and not finding the ability to be so in what I was doing. Patrick: I tend to plan and think ahead a lot. When I visualize the future of my life there, it was like I could literally see myself sitting at the same desk like doing the same things that I had been doing for like the next 30 years of my life. For years, I wasn't raised as an entrepreneur. I don't really have that in my family. I didn't know the first thing about starting a business, but for years I was always thinking about kind of what is kind of my path out of this life and kind of into the next one. Patrick: I always had ideas and never really kind of jumped on them because I wasn't a risk taker, I was an engineer. Taking risk was the furthest thing from what I was used to. And I finally have this idea for a razor that I wanted to invent, and we can kind of get into that if we want to, but in general I've always kind of struggled with irritation and ingrown hairs with shaving since the first day I started shaving. I came across this old style of shaving, shaving with a single blade safety razor and just fell in love with it and decided I wanted to try to kind of make a modern version of this old razor that I found. Patrick: Then in addition to that just decided like this is kind of... It's kind of now or never to make the leap from this job to doing something on my own. So it was kind of a perfect storm of the idea came and the necessity came and the opportunity came at the same time and just decided to go for it. Stephanie: Yeah, that's awesome. I think a lot of people probably have those same feelings of getting stuck somewhere. I know I have in the past. There was a point in my previous life when I was working at Fannie Mae and I had the same kind of thing. I'm like, "Oh my gosh. Do I want to end up in a semi-government job or corporate job?" And even at Google, it's like, "Oh, things feel so great right now. Should I leave? I feel like I'll stay here for a long time because it's so comfy." So I think a lot of people have the same kind of feeling of now or never. I better jump before I get stuck here for the rest of my life. Patrick: And the further you go in those career paths like the harder it is to leave. What can an aerospace engineer that has worked as an aerospace engineer for 20 years do other than that after they've been there so long? Stephanie: Yeah. I had the same feeling. What year did you start Supply or did you start something before then or was Supply your first company? Patrick: Yes, Supply is my first kind of real company. Prior to starting Supply which we started in... The company started in January of 2015, but we launched publicly in August of 2015 with our first Kickstarter campaign. And prior to that, I started a website with one of my best buddies called razorpedia.com and that was like, I think, we started in 2012 or 2013. Long story short, it was a kind of razor review website that really was kind of a... Just kind of a stupid fun thing to do with a buddy on weekends where we wanted to kind of test razors and try to find the best razor on the market. Actually, the website ended up getting pretty popular and we ended up selling it later. But that's really where the razor kind of story began with shaving. Stephanie: Yeah. I mean, I read that the Razorpedia was like the number one google search result and it had like 1 million organic page views over 30 months. So it sounds like it was actually a pretty big deal. Patrick: Yeah, it was pretty successful. We were fortunate enough to like... We literally launched I think the same week that Harry's launched. Stephanie: Good timing. Patrick: Yeah. It was good timing and we wrote a blog like the same week about Harry's. We ended up like kind of being... If you searched razor reviews online or Harry's razor review, we were right at the top of the search results. So it was kind of dumb luck. So we started to kind of monetize it with ads. We didn't know what we were doing. We were making it up as we went. The best thing that came out of that was the realization that all these multi-blade razors that we tested were all... In my opinion, were all trash and just not good razors. It was that website that actually led me down the path to find this old style of shaving, which is this single blade style shave. Stephanie: It's really interesting how marketing can really train us like "Oh, the more blades the better, and this one has two. Oh, this one has three." You wouldn't even think like getting back to the roots of like you're talking about a single blade is maybe actually the best way of doing things. Patrick: Yeah. There's an old Onion article from like 2002 and I think the most blades in a razor was maybe three or four at that time, and the title of the article was Screw It, We're Doing Five Blades. So they actually foresaw the five blade razor. I think you can actually buy a seven blade razor today. Stephanie: Oh my gosh. So you have this idea of Supply. What did the early days look like? I mean you have this old-time razor where you're like, "Oh, this actually works really well." What was it like to actually start the company and find a way to create and manufacture this razor? Patrick: It was very challenging to say the least. So I had the good fortune of one of my friends. I wanted to just make the leap and just go cold turkey and go all in on the company and the idea from day one. I had the good fortune of having some friends in my life that I listened to that said, "Why don't you try to figure out how to make this product work before you just leave your paycheck behind?" That turned out to be really good advice because it took me about a year and a half if not two years to go from Kickstarter campaign, which was kind of the initial rough prototype to no kidding supply chain or product that I could actually sell at scale. Patrick: I have no background in consumer products at all, whatsoever. So a lot of that kind of two-ish years was just me making it up. I had no investors. I had no real network or people to rely on to help me figure out how to kind of make this product. So a lot of it was just kind of figuring it out as I went and making a lot of mistakes and fixing those mistakes when they happened. Stephanie: So how were you finding ways to... I mean, you get a really well-funded Kickstarter. What was the next steps after that? Did you go and start meeting with people who manufacture razors already and you're like, "Here's my new design idea?" Or since you're an engineer, were you actually like trying to make your own? Patrick: Yeah. No, I did not make my own. We've always done outsourced supply chain and production since day one. We're currently actually not working with any of our early manufacturing partners. We've got a really phenomenal network of manufacturers that we work with today. But in the early days, it was a lot of googling although that doesn't really get you too far when it comes to manufacturing. Patrick: And then just a lot of calling and cold outreach to anybody that I could get to pick up the phone. So I think I probably called somewhere around 50 or 60 different suppliers that I just found through Google or recommendation from somebody who would talk to me, but didn't want to do the work for me or something like that. I eventually settled on... And this is a very common practice in the consumer products space. I eventually settled on... I never really know what to call them, but kind of an outsourcing kind of middleman sort of company where they're a... This is what they do is they go find factories to make you your product. Stephanie: Oh, interesting. Patrick: Yeah, I found a guy local to me. I don't remember how I found him. I think he was on Upwork maybe and he managed the manufacturing of our first batch for me. Stephanie: Very cool. So what led you to change manufacturers? You said in the early days, you had one manufacturer two and then you don't use them now. What happened and what kind of lessons did you learn through switching manufacturers? Patrick: So we launched our campaign August of 2015. I promised delivery by March of 2015, and that was in my mind plenty... That was more than enough time. That was like I was being generous with that timeline. And the manufacturer knew that. They were on track with that. March came and went. No products. April came and went no products. May. And then June I finally... I'll never forget, he literally shows up on my doorstep with a big old dolly of... I think we had ordered maybe 2,000 razors or something like that and he drops him off inside my house. Then as he's walking out the door, he says, "Oh, by the way, there's a problem within." Patrick: I'm like, "Oh, now, you're going to tell me there's a problem." Anyways, it turned out there was an issue with the razor to where if it wasn't used properly, it actually wouldn't even really shave at all and you couldn't load a blade. Stephanie: Oh my gosh. Patrick: Yeah, just a little problem, which was just devastating because I had already spent all my money that I had raised, I think about $8,000 on that production batch. Essentially what we did over the next kind of two to three months is I set up a little shop in my garage to try to kind of adjust the razors to make them work and we did the best we could with that. We were very open with our backers and that's always like number one thing. I always tell young founders or operators is like when things go wrong trying to cover it up or not being honest about it with your customers is just going to make it worse. Patrick: You need to kind of be honest. We were telling our customers what's up like here's what happened, here's what we're trying to make right about it. Oh by the way, if you want to wait, we're going to start up a second batch with a new manufacturer, but it's just going to take some time. Patrick: Anyways, we ended up kind of salvaging some of that initial bash. We ended up having to scrap a lot of it, lost a lot of money on that first batch and then we started up a second production line and eventually made it right with our backers and delivered everything we promised, but it took... I think it was the following March before we finished delivering what we had promised. So it took a year longer than what we had told people it would take. The lesson for me is and has always been at the end of the day, all I have personally that's keeping my business alive is the relationships with the people that I work with. Patrick: Those relationships and that trust is everything. It's extremely difficult to, on the front end, determine if you can trust somebody. But I always highly leverage towards trust when I'm evaluating a new partner rather than capability, right? Because capability is just kind of table stakes for us to even have a conversation. Something is going to go wrong and what happens when it goes wrong is what makes all the difference. Patrick: So that first vendor, his true colors were showed when something went wrong. The vendors, I'm with now, things go wrong all the time, but what happens is they make it right. So that's kind of the biggest learning lesson for me and the biggest advice I can give people is going into business with people that you not only enjoy working with, but can trust to make things right when things go wrong because that's literally all you have. What's written on the contract doesn't even really matter when you're as small as me, right? Because I can't sue somebody. It's just... Anyway. Stephanie: Too much time, too much money to even try and do that to begin with. Patrick: Yeah, exactly. So it's all about relationships. Stephanie: Yeah, that's a really good point. So on your Twitter I think I saw that... I mean, you guys have been in business for a few years, but 80% of your lifetime profit has come in the last six months and I was wondering what's the catalyst behind that? Why are all the profits coming in now? Is it better marketing? What's behind the scenes to drive that profit now? Patrick: Two things, supply and demand. So on the supply side, I worked all last year. This is another kind of big learning point. I've gathered over the years. I worked all last year to significantly improve our gross margins or essentially how much our products cost to make versus what we sell them. The first four basically years of my company, I wasn't charging enough for my products and they were costing me too much to make. So 2019 was a big kind of cost cutting year for us. Patrick: Then in addition to that... So those cost cutting initiatives went into effect on November 1st. So that's the supply side and then the demand side is November 3rd we aired on Shark Tank. So that was the beginning of a big tidal wave of orders. So those two things coincided very nicely to bring us to a place to where we're significantly profitable in the way that we've never been before and that really changes a lot of things for us. Stephanie: That's awesome. So how did you go about figuring out what areas needed to have cost cut down? What does that process look like? Patrick: Yeah, for us, I mean it's less about... We've always had very low overhead. Started the business with my wife. We've barely ever paid ourselves much... We've had a very small team always. We worked out of our house for the first three years. So overhead has always been very low for us. I always, always, always urge young businesses and founders to keep overhead as low as possible. I think a lot of the reason you're seeing a lot of companies go out of business or have issues this year since COVID hit is they don't have the flexibility in their overhead to withstand volatility in the marketplace which is what's going on right now. Patrick: So that's always been low for us. It's always been a thing that I've held important. What it costs us to make our products versus what we charge for them, I had what I'd consider a friend/mentor get on a phone with me. He runs a very successful men's clothing business that's probably 10 times larger than mine. He shared with me, "If you're not charging at least 4X for your products what you make them for, you're never going to be able to scale in a meaningful way because customer acquisition costs are just too high to let you be able to scale with any less margin than that." And he's right. Stephanie: Did you take his advice exactly and do 4X of how much it costed you? Patrick: Yes, I did. Stephanie: Cool. And what was the price before for a razor and what did that jump to? Patrick: Without getting into the engineering side which is maybe a little boring, but we didn't really necessarily change the price of the razor. We have two versions. We have what we call an alloy version and a steel version. The steel version we increased the price probably about 20 to 30% and we introduced an alloy version which is a lot less expensive to manufacture and we actually kept and almost kind of lowered the price on that one because we were able to bring our production costs down so much. Stephanie: Got it. When you're lowering your production costs, I know you mentioned overhead is a big thing, but was there anything with your production costs or the materials that you also looked at decreasing the prices for? Patrick: No. I mean, we kind of kept the packaging the same. Another thing that you'll probably hear a lot of people, supply chain guys talk about is we're always trying to get like ahead of the curve when it comes to ordering because historically we've always had to rush shipments via air. Not all of our stuff, but a lot of our stuff is made overseas and air shipments cost anywhere from five to 10X more than ocean shipments. So that's always really painful when you got to spend 20 to 30 grand just to ship something versus two to three grand. Patrick: So getting better forecasting so that we can order far enough ahead of time to put something on the ocean instead of the air is another big thing we're doing. Otherwise, it's just like constant... I live in my profit and loss statement where I'm just counting every single penny that goes into my cost of goods sold whether it's the cost to ship to me, whether it's cost to ship to my customer, the fees I'm getting charged by my credit card companies, cost of my boxes. Patrick: I mean, it just requires relentless dedication to constantly being in the numbers to make sure that... It's just like... It's like entropy. All things tend towards chaos. Well, everything in your P&L tends towards higher costs if you don't stay on top of it because you're just going to spend more and more money. Stephanie: Yeah, I completely agree. I think a lot of founders oftentimes avoid looking at it because, one, it's kind of hard to read a P&L or a balance sheet or something like that if you haven't taken the time to figure out what all the line items mean. But then also like you said like a lot of things start adding up behind the scenes whether it's subscriptions or just stuff where you're like, "Whoa, I didn't realize my credit card fee is this." Maybe it's actually cheaper just to you know get a loan or do this and start thinking differently about how you're spending your money. Because a lot of those costs do add up especially in the early days. Patrick: They do, and software too. Stephanie: Oh, yeah. Software is a big one. And forecasting. I thought that's a really good point about forecasting in a way that you don't have to airship things. We actually haven't had someone on the show talk about air versus ocean, so I found that very interesting. Patrick: Yep. Stephanie: So the other thing I was wondering I would love to hear more about is your Shark Tank experience. We've had quite a few Shark Tankers on here and everyone's had a slightly different experience. I want to hear a little bit about what that looked like. Patrick: Awesome. I mean, it was a once-in-a-lifetime sort of deal. Never will forget it. We had a blast. I went on with my wife. We both pitched. We filmed in June of last year, so June of 2019 and then we aired in November of 2019. Just all the way through from the very... I applied three years in a row. It took me three years to get on the show and from the first day I applied the first time all the way through the last interaction I had with them after filming, it's just a really class act. Up and down, just phenomenal people. Patrick: I'm not talking necessarily about the sharks, although they're all great. You work with them for literally 30 minutes to an hour. You never see them again, but all the people behind the scenes are just a class act. Just the experience of standing in front of these people that you've watched for close to a decade, if not more than a decade on TV and actually talking to them and them talking back to you and saying your name. It's just like this very kind of out of body experience to where you kind of like in a sense like black out a little bit. Like don't even really remember what happened, at least personally. But we had an absolute blast. We ended up getting an offer from Robert and accepted his offer. We actually didn't end up closing that deal, but just had an absolute blast. Stephanie: Oh, and you said you didn't end up closing it?   Patrick: No, we did not. Stephanie: I think that's also interesting to know that not all the deals close and there's things that maybe happen afterwards that could impact that on both sides. Patrick: Yeah. About half of them don't close. Stephanie: Yeah. So what was it like after you went on the show? I'm sure you had a large increase in demand? Did you guys have any website issues or inventory issues or what did that look like? Patrick: Yeah, a huge increase in demand. I think in November, we did you know 4X our previous monthly record. So big increase in demand. It really strained our customer service. It strained our supply... Not our supply chain, our warehouse a bit although we had just onboarded with Shopify Fulfillment Network. They were doing a phenomenal job of keeping up with things. It was more of what was straining was getting stuff in stock from our vendors on time. Patrick: So we had some orders that took us like three to four weeks to ship and that made some customers pretty upset since they were Christmas presents. We did get everybody everything they needed before Christmas which was like my one thing that I wasn't going to sacrifice on. We ended up getting it done. But between November 3rd and Christmas, it was pretty painful, in a good way. But the response was pretty phenomenal. Stephanie: Yeah, that's great. And are you seeing continued demand from that or did you start leveraging other maybe customer acquisition strategies or marketing tactics to kind of build on that demand? Patrick: Yeah, so it really put a ton of wind in our sales. It's really helped us kind of upgrade a lot of our business kind of to the next level. But in terms of like sustained demand, no, you're not getting a ton of like post Shark tank people streaming it and coming to your website. Although, I'm sure that happens. What it has done for us is it's given us kind of a social proof of being on this national platform. Patrick: So we've used a lot of footage and assets from the airing in our advertising. So if you go to our website, you'll probably get retargeted with some Shark Tank style ads. And just in general, it's given us the ability to taking us from this quiet kind of nobody brand to... I won't call us a household name, because we're certainly not, but a lot more people recognize us like, "Oh yeah, I've seen that before." Patrick: So it helps with everything. I mean, it helps with not only the company but your partners and your vendors are now even more excited to work with you. Press finds you that hasn't found you in the past. We'll be in The Wall Street Journal this weekend. Stephanie: Oh, cool. Patrick: We are in GQ's best single blade razor of 2020. These things just kind of slowly snowball. It's been a really phenomenal experience. We're very grateful for it. Stephanie: Yeah, that's great. It's such a good reminder of how PR can work if it's done the right way because there's all these PR companies who always say that they can help you, but it depends and that's just a good reminder that it can work well if you get the right outlet and getting featured in like Wall Street Journal or places like that. Very beneficial. Stephanie: So what kind of digital channels are you finding the most success in right now when you're going about... You're talking about retargeting and different marketing tactics. What kind of channels are you finding success in? Patrick: Sure. I mean, no surprise Facebook, Instagram and Google in that order for volume. We've always wanted to test these other channels like Snapchat and Tik-Tok and whatever and we probably will sooner or later. But there are some other things we want to spend some more time on building before then. We do a little bit of affiliate. We do a tiny bit of influencer, and that's really kind of I think what we're going to start turning our eye to for maybe the next phase of our growth. But yeah, those are really the big channels for us. Stephanie: Yeah, cool. So when you were building up supply and you mentioned Harry's earlier. The razor market feels like it's been pretty popular for people to start companies in. You've got Dollar Shave Club, you've got Harry's. How did you think about that competition and making sure that you stood out among the other brands that were launching? Patrick: Yeah. So our value proposition is very much kind of anti-Harry's and anti-Dollar Shave Club. Then our positioning and our pricing is similarly the complete opposite. So they're clearly competitors of ours, but I don't really consider them necessarily direct competitors. What I do consider them is people that I can steal my customers from. So it's a single blade. I haven't really talked much about the product. It's a single blade. Stephanie: Yeah, let's hear about that. Patrick: Yeah. It's a premium single blade razor and the value propositions are there's a few. Number one, it's not a cheap product. It's a $75 handle, but the value prop is you invest a lot up front, but then you save tons of money over time. So our blades are 75 cents a piece and they last somewhere between eight to 10 shaves. So after you buy the handle, you're spending... If you're shaving every day, you're spending maybe 24 bucks on blades a year. Then you've got this handle that lasts forever. We actually guarantee it for life. Patrick: So you never have to buy the handle again. But then aside from that, the value prop is a single blade gives you just as close of a shave as a multi-blade razor. But for roughly 30% of guys, they experience like myself a really severe razor burn and or bumps typically on the neck or in the sensitive parts of the face. And a lot of that is caused by multi-blade razors. We don't have to go that deep into it, but the way they're designed is works for some guys in terms of giving you a close shave, but for guys like me who have sensitive skin, it actually does the opposite. It makes things worse for you. Patrick: Anyways, so going back to Harry's and Dollar Shave Club. So a lot of guys, they just use these razors and they just think like this is the way everybody shaves and they just have to deal with this issue and just deal with the razor burn or just not shave. So what we're telling them is no, it's not the case. You can actually shave and enjoy it and not have your face be a train wreck after you shave. Patrick: So we're slowly helping guys kind of wake up from this myth that multi-blades are better and that's like the only way to shave. If it doesn't work for you, then too bad. Just keep shaving and tearing up your face. Stephanie: Yeah. How are you going about that education process because I was going to say that it does seem like there's quite a bit of education required for that and just for like... I mean, you mentioned shaving eight to 10 times. I'm like, "Oh, I think a lot of people probably shave with the same blade for long time." I'm thinking about myself, I'm like, "Oh, man. I'm pretty bad at that." So how do you go about getting people to change their behavior? Patrick: Yeah. Honestly, it's tough. I mean, I'll give you an example. We present in our ads like why multi-blade razors are bad for your skin and we literally present it the same... We present the same data that Gillette presents. It's on their website. Multi-blade razors are literally designed to lift... The first blade tugs the hair out of the skin and like the second and third blade kind of cuts it below the surface of the skin. That's literally how Gillette has designed them to work. Patrick: People accuse of us of lying and making that up. And it's like, "No, just google it." You'll see it straight out of the horse's mouth. So the point is like it takes a lot of education. When they don't even believe that you're just saying what your competitor says, clearly they they need a lot of education. Patrick: So we do it through video. For example, if you buy the razor, you get four emails from me, the first four days after you buy it and each one is a short 60-second training video. It's not like this outrageously complex course of learning how to shave with our razor. It's 60-second videos. But guys, we've learned are very prone to throw instructions out so they don't read anything that we include with the product. Stephanie: You think they fancy videos like you call them, "Hey, come look at this." Patrick: Exactly. It continues to be a challenge, but in general video seems to work the best in terms of teaching guys how to do. And actually, we're starting up our YouTube channel next week to kind of help that process as well. Stephanie: That's really interesting. Another thing I read. I don't even know why I know anything about razors because I did read an article about the marketing behind them, how a lot of the traditional companies show the razor getting like water all over it and sitting in the shower and that actually degrades the blades and then you have to change it more frequently and that was like their whole plan. Do you think that's true or am I just reading conspiracy theories behind razor blades? Patrick: Yeah, I don't know exactly what you've read, but I mean it is true that water, what it does, I mean, if it sits on a blade it causes it to rust which degrades the edge. I mean, we tell our customers don't leave your razor in the shower in a damp environment. We tell our customers not to do that because that's very... That's true. Stephanie: Yeah. I mean, all these things I think most people probably are doing right now, I'm thinking of myself and our producers typing in there that how long she goes from changing her blades. So I think there's a lot of education to do in the market in general. How are you guys also thinking about new products because these are designed for men, but I'm like women definitely have a lot of the same issues. Are you thinking about launching new products geared towards women as well or are you just strictly focused on men's products? Patrick: The short term, we're focused on men's products. We do have women as customers. My wife and my co-founder is a user of our product. So we're more than happy to have the ladies buy from us. But what's really, really difficult or at least I've found is to position our product as both a men's and women's product at the same time. I don't know the best. I'm sure there's a good way to do it, but I don't know what it is because shaving your face and shaving your legs are too... They seem similar, but they're very, very different things. Patrick: I'd love to do like maybe different landing pages or product pages because the value props are basically different, right? So I don't know, man. Maybe I could use some advice for how to sell... Maybe the problem is I just don't know yet how to sell razors to women. Stephanie: It sounds like my team. We've got ideas and we'll team up with your wife and we can all figure it out together. Patrick: Yeah, yeah exactly. It is on the to-do list. It's just something we haven't been able to get to yet. Stephanie: Very cool. So tell me a little bit about how you developed your website like the experience... I mean, when you're selling something that kind of needs to be tried out or you need to hold like the handle to see like wow, this is a good quality like piece of steel here, how do you convey that to the customers who are coming on and how did you develop your website experience. Patrick: Yeah. It's tough, it's really tough. I don't think we've arrived by any stretch, but certainly, certainly made a lot of progress. We have a very, very talented development company. We work with agency called Fuel Made. Good friends, just good people and they do amazing work. So they handle just from the front end and the back end design. They're handling most of that for me. Patrick: Prior to that when we were smaller, I think it's a complete, complete waste of money to spend any money on complex web design. There are so many free or very cheap templates out there that work so well. I would encourage people to not spend any money on development and take any money you have and invest it all in creative and start with just phenomenal photography. Patrick: Find a very, very talented photographer and spend your money there if you're going to spend your money anywhere. So I have a very good friend of mine who is that person and he takes all of our photographs. And so we over index on beautiful photography. We're now at a point to where we can afford kind of an expensive agency to develop our site and otherwise, we do just tons of AB testing. Every month, we're testing something new or we're launching a new feature. Sometimes it works, sometimes it fails miserably. Each month is just an opportunity to get better. Stephanie: What kind of tests have you seen work versus fail because I think a lot of people may be thinking about trying out some of the same kind of features or tests that you're thinking about. So is there anything that comes to mind where you're like this really worked well with conversions or increase cart value versus this one did not work at all and it seems like it would have. Patrick: Yeah. I probably have more this didn't work than this does work. Stephanie: Let's hear it. I like those stories just as much. Patrick: Well, man, I'm really sad about this one. We just did one where once you add the razor to the cart, there's a pop-up that immediately shows up that says, "Hey, do you want to upgrade this to our starter set which is our second best seller aside from our razor?" We tested different variations of that pop-up. We tested it against no pop-up and there was like no clear winner after, I think it was two weeks and a very significant amount of traffic. No clear winner. Patrick: So we decided not to go with that pop-up. I launched a membership/loyalty program in April. The way I designed it was outrageously complex and I put a lot of development work and dollars into it, let it run for eight weeks and then I canned it. That was painful to do because it was just too complex. Stephanie: What made it complex? Because I've actually heard similar themes from a few other people who've been on the show who said that they thought that a loyalty program would work for them, but it ended up not working like they thought. So what do you think made it too complex or would you have done it differently or are you just like, "We're not trying that again?" Patrick: Yeah. Two things on the front end and on the back end. So on the back end, the code, it was completely custom designed from a code using scripts on Shopify and it just got really complicated. But on the front end, it was kind of confusing to the customer. So the program was essentially like it was kind of like buy a razor and get a free lifetime of blades offer which sounds like a really compelling offer, but there's always kind of... There's got to be a caveat to that statement. Patrick: So it was like you could get a shipment every quarter of blades, just pay for shipping or you could buy our premium membership, which was like 20 bucks a year and then get the blade shipped to you once a quarter, which is a great deal, but offering them those two options was really confusing and then just the way we made them sign up for it was confusing. Patrick: In general, we're going to try to launch another program in the future, but it will be far less complicated. If you can't explain it in a sentence or less and have people get it immediately, then you've set yourself up for failure. And that's what we did. I've explained the program to people and they'd be like, "Okay, wait. But if I buy this, what happens?" Stephanie: I need my Google spreadsheet out like which way will I save an extra dollar? Patrick: Yeah. So anyways, things that have worked. We actually launched international currency on our website because we do a pretty big chunk of business overseas and that actually increases conversion rates quite a bit for us. I'm blanking right now. We've had other wins, but I'm blanking on it right now. Stephanie: That's all right. If you think of any more, we can circle back because I actually think it's very interesting diving into some of these tests like this because I'm sure other founders are thinking about similar tests. Patrick: For sure. Stephanie: Very cool. So a couple general Ecommerce questions. Now, that you've been in the world for a while and kind of doing a bunch of tests and you launched your company, what kind of trends or patterns do you see coming down the pipe right now especially with everything with the pandemic. Are there any changes that you see coming in the future around Ecommerce? Patrick: I guess this is probably cliché, but the only thing I know is that I have no idea what's coming next. I think there's a ton of opportunity in the future and a ton of volatility in the future for Ecommerce. I'm very, very grateful, number one to be in the industry I'm in to continue to operate and be healthy and growing. I have friends in the restaurant business that cannot say that. Patrick: So I'm very bullish and grateful for the industry I'm in. I'm not planning on changing anytime soon, but at the same time, I think consumer behavior is going to continue to be like challenging to kind of forecast. People say this all the time on Twitter, but I just don't get the fact that our stock market is so high and our GDP is so low and so many people are out of business. Patrick: To me, it's like, okay, when is this... Part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop and when is this all going to come crashing down and the other part of me is like eCommerce is 30% of retail now and like that's not showing any sign of stopping anytime soon. So I don't know if that's a direct answer, but in general what I'm doing is I'm doubling down. I'm building processes and teams for growth. Patrick: So we actually just left our long time marketing agency that I had a great relationship and love and really enjoyed working with and it was really difficult to leave them. But the main reason I left is like I'm convinced the brands that are super nimble and able to react and adapt really quickly are going to be the ones that survive and thrive in this environment, in this volatile environment. Patrick: So whether Facebook CPMs are up or down or what's going on, I think we're just going to be really flexible and part of what I'm doing to be flexible is building more internal teams to move quickly rather than just being a bit slower. Stephanie: Yeah. That's such a great point and I think a lot of other companies are probably starting to think about that too especially around like being able to move quickly and not having costs that are recurring for like the next three years that you can't get out of or long-term contracts and even around like not relying on just a single manufacturer and being able to kind of like move around if needed. So definitely being more nimble will probably be how a lot of companies are thinking about this going forward. Patrick: Yeah, and it's tough because at the same time you also, I think... We started the call off kind of like this, it's like you have to keep overhead low at the same time. So you've got these competing priorities to be able to move fast and have an internal team, but then also not have a bloated internal team that you just can't respond. Your overhead can't respond quick enough to any kind of unforeseen events. Stephanie: Yep. Completely agree. So is there anything that you wish I would have asked you that I did not bring up? Patrick: Let me see. I don't think so. No, nothing I can think of. Stephanie: Man, I'm just the best. All right. Cool. Then we can move on to a quick lightning round, if that sounds good. Patrick: That works for me. Stephanie: All right. So the lightning round brought to you by SalesForce Commerce Cloud. This is where I will ask you a question and you have a minute or less to answer. Are you ready, Patrick? Patrick: I am ready. Stephanie: Cool. So if you were to start a podcast, what would it be about and who would your first guest be? Patrick: Okay. I know the answer to this one. Stephanie: You're prepared. Patrick: This is no offense to you at all. Stephanie: All right. I'll try not to be offended. Patrick: I would start not like a one-on-one podcast, but like a round table debate style podcast with roughly three to five people. I want vigorous like vitriolic... I don't know if that's a word, but debate. I want people that are so ingrained in their opinion that they're willing to fight other people to the death about what they have to say. The topics would be all Ecommerce or retail related. Stephanie: Okay. Patrick: So anyways. Stephanie: I feel like I see that happening on Twitter right now though. Patrick: Yes, it's Twitter and podcast form. That's exactly what it is. Stephanie: Yeah. I see all these people getting very angry about stuff with certain Ecommerce or someone calls something like D2C and they're like, "That's not data saved." I'm like oh my gosh. Patrick: That's exactly what I'm talking about. Stephanie: That's funny. We at Mission have done roundtables before, but they're usually with like three CMOs and then one of us hosting it. So it does not get that heated. So I'd be very interested to see how your podcast goes. Patrick: Yeah, it would be a requirement for yelling to happen. Stephanie: That sounds great. What's up next on your reading list? Patrick: Let's see. I just downloaded been a book by Ben Horowitz. I don't remember the name of it but it's about building culture. Stephanie: Oh, yeah. What is that new one? Patrick: I don't remember. But it's all related to this kind of transition I'm going through right now is what I call a transition from founder to CEO and focusing less on doing things myself and focusing more about delegating and building a team that can accomplish things without me involved. So a huge, huge, huge part of that is culture and I have no clue how to build good culture. So I want to learn from the best. Stephanie: What You Do Is Who You Are? Patrick: Yes, that's it. Is that new or is that old? Stephanie: Yeah. That one is his newer book. I was listening to it on Audible and I like it because it ties in history along with building a culture, but it's like here's what happened a long time ago and why these themes are still relevant. So I'd recommend that one as well. Patrick: So you liked it? That's good. Stephanie: Yeah. I thought it was great. Patrick: Okay, good. Stephanie: What's up next on your Netflix queue? Patrick: I don't really watch a whole lot of Netflix. Stephanie: No? Nothing? Everyone always starts by saying that and they're like, "Oh, wait. I just did this. I just watched this whole series." Patrick: It's funny. Me and Jennifer will turn on Netflix to watch something new and we always default to just watching The Office. Stephanie: That's a good one. That's a good go to, to Keep you smiling. Patrick: I will say we did just start. We dug up an old DVD set of Seinfeld and now we're watching Seinfeld right now. Stephanie: Oh, nice. Pulling out the DVDs. That's awesome. Patrick: Yeah, the DVD. Blu-Ray though, yeah. Stephanie: Yeah, got to be. What app do you enjoy most on your phone? Patrick: What app? I use twitter probably too much. It's a good thing and a bad thing. A lot of the good things that have happened to me over the past year have been through connections on Twitter, but it can also be a time suck. Stephanie: Yes, I agree. All right. And then the last one, what is a favorite piece of tech that you use or a trying out that's making you or your team more efficient right now? Patrick: More efficient. Well, we're trying out a productivity app called ClickUp? Have you ever heard of it? Stephanie: I think I have. Tell me a little bit more about it. Patrick: It's kind of like a monday.com or an Asana. So like project management, task management. I've never found one I like or that works. We've tried doing it in Notion before, although I love Notion. So we're trying that in ClickUp. I don't know. We'll see. I like it so far. Stephanie: Cool. Yeah, we'll have to check that out. We use Basecamp for almost everything, but I'm open to other things. Patrick: Go ahead. Stephanie: Oh, go ahead. Patrick: I was just going to say, I don't know that I'm a huge fan of Basecamp. I could never get it to work for some reason. Stephanie: Yeah. It is a little high when it comes to like starting up and teaching the team and everyone learning from it, but it gets better. Patrick: Yeah. Stephanie: All right. Well, this has been such a fun interview, Patrick. Thank you for coming on the show. Where can people find out more about you and Supply? Patrick: You can find me on Twitter where I spend most of my time. My handle sounds like canoe. Because my last name sounds like canoe, it's Patrick Coddou. So you can find me there and that's really where I spend all my time. And then our website is supply.co. You can see our company and all of our products there. Stephanie: Awesome. Thanks so much and have a great day. Patrick: Thank you.  

PJ Bruno sits down with Enterprise AE Patrick Forquer and VP of Growth Spencer Burke to discuss online grocery shopping, Reddit raising a huge Series D round with a near $3 billion valuation, and Warby Parker's new augmented reality shopping tool.          TRANSCRIPT: [0:00:18] P.J: Hi everyone and welcome to Braze for Impact. Your weekly tech industry discuss digest. So this is a place where we get together each week and just talk about what's happening in tech. This week I'm lucky to have with me my pal Patrick Forquer who is on the sales organization here at Braze. Next week we'll hear from someone from a different department, probably Customer Success, something like that and then the following week maybe someone from product and then so on and so forth. So we can get multiple different angles at what's happening in the tech industry. Like I said today, I'm lucky to have Patrick Forquer and also Spencer Burke. I'll have them introduce themselves.   [0:00:51] Patrick: Hey, I'm Patrick [inaudible]. I'm a strategic account exec here at Braze.   [0:00:55] Spencer: Thanks PJ. I'm Spencer Burke, the VP of growth.   [0:00:58] P.J: How are you guys doing? How's the week trucking on?   [0:01:01] Patrick: It's going okay. No, it's going great. It's great to be here with you P.J. Looking great in your Heather Gray shirt and as always.   [0:01:09] P.J: It's a good color. Spence, how are we doing?   [0:01:11] Spencer: Going well. Got a ski trip planned for this weekend driving up to Vermont, so can't complain.   [0:01:16] P.J: Always at the skiing Spencer Burke.   [0:01:19] Spencer: It's a winter. I got to get it in.   [0:01:20] P.J: Got to get it in guys. You know what, without further ado, why don't we jump on to what's happening this week? This first article, 'Why people still don't buy groceries online'. This is a very interesting thing to me. Actually, let me set up the story because I think they did a really good way of setting this up in the article. Nearly 30 years ago when just 15% of Americans had a computer and even fewer had Internet access, Thomas Parkinson set up a rack of modems on a crate and barrel wine rack and started accepting orders for the Internet's first grocery delivery company, Peapod, which he founded with his brother Andrew. Back then, ordering groceries online was complicated. Most customers had dial-up still and Peapod's web graphics were so rudimentary that customers couldn't even see image of what images of what they were buying. Delivery was complicated too. So the Parkinson's drove to grocery stores in the Chicago area. They actually did this and bought what customers had ordered and then delivered the goods from the backseat of their beat up Honda Civic. When people wanted to stock up on certain goods, strawberry yogurt or bottles of diet coke, the Parkinson's would deplete whole sections of grocery stores. This is, this is wild. I mean it's interesting because we were all constantly talking about convenience and delivery of all sorts of things. Why not groceries? What's the deal?   [0:02:41] Patrick: Yeah. So when I was reading this article, the first thing that came to mind was if, if we rewind 10 years from today and we took a poll of everyone at braise about, which would be more successful grocery delivery or an app on your phone where you tap on one button and a stranger in a Honda Civic pulls up and drives you somewhere. I think we all would have bet on the grocery delivery piece of that. Right?   [0:03:07] Spencer: Every time.   [0:03:08] Patrick: So it is crazy to me and the numbers are super low. I mean 3% of people getting grocery delivery. Spencer, what was your initial take?   [0:03:18] Spencer: I'm curious, have you guys used the grocery delivery service?   [0:03:22] Patrick: So I have, I had a really bad experience actually, so I haven't done it since. And I think that's part of the challenge in this article where-   [0:03:31] Spencer: Can you get into that bad experience or is that...   [0:03:35] Patrick: So we tried to use the grocery ordering off of Amazon Alexa and my wife ordered paper towels and-   [0:03:46] Spencer: Just paper towels?   [0:03:47] Patrick: Yes. And a couple of other things, but I kid you not, they delivered us what must have been the majority of the warehouses paper towels to the point where-   [0:03:58] P.J: Jesus!   [0:03:59] Patrick: ...for two and a half years, we were using paper towels off of that one order. So obviously that's an outlier. But yeah.   [0:04:08] P.J: It seems like it's also, apparently America is really not adopting it as much as other countries like it seems like in Europe. Also in Asia it's like up to 20% or something like that of consumers are using online and it's only 3% here in America. Does that speak to anything that we're doing or what do you guys think?   [0:04:27] Spencer: Well, I mean I think part of it is most people... Most people have cars. Most people live in an area where they have some kind of large grocery store chain and so if you're driving to work, stopping at the grocery store on the way home, it's not changing the convenience kind of function for everyone in the same way that like Lyft or Postmates or Seamless might for your average consumer. Personally, I've tried it here in New York. I recently moved to somewhere that just doesn't have as many large stores as close to me. I just thought, sure, why not? Let's try Amazon Prime. Amazon just bought whole foods recently and let's see how it goes. I think there's a lot of challenges with it. You don't see exactly what you're getting. If something's out of stock, you're relying on them making replacement or not providing it at all. So, if you're planning on using one of these services to plan a dinner you might not actually be able to cook what you intended to or you might not be able to put that meal together because the delivery service wasn't 100% versus if you're in the store, you can kind of course correct as you go.   [0:05:32] P.J: Right. I feel like a lot of us order all sorts of things through the Internet. I'm sure that list goes on, but as far as grocery shopping something that...it's ordering Seamless as one thing, right? It's prepared and sent right over to you as opposed to groceries. People probably a little concerned like you want to feel your fruit, you want to see your meat, you got all these things. I feel like there's a little fear around that probably. For me anyways.   [0:05:59] Patrick: Well definitely. And then you know, they talk about the challenges that these companies have. It's a lot more complex and it would look to me that on the surface with things like some items you have to keep warm. Some items you have to keep cool, you have to do it all really quickly. And so the people put, you know, preparing the packaging, have to know where everything is and then there's delivery and it's mostly in urban areas. So then there's parking challenges and all these things that I didn't necessarily.   [0:06:25] P.J: There's tons of complications that go along with it. Apparently surveys have shown that shoppers are still concerned that they're being charged higher prices when it comes to online delivery and also complain about delivery drivers being late. Those are the two biggest complaints apparently.   [0:06:39] Patrick: Yeah. And the last thing I noticed was in the second article that we were looking at on grocery delivery, there's the casual drop of Google in partnership with Bain, with Bain commissioned a research study, which as we know working in tech means that Google paid Bain to run this survey for them likely with a hypothesis that grocery delivery was about to explode.   [0:07:03] P.J: I feel like they had an a hypothesis in mind. Yes. Something tells me, yeah.   [0:07:07] Spencer: So I don't know if this was entirely altruistic on behalf of a like, yeah, let's do it. Let's go for it. We'd like you guys.   [0:07:13] Patrick: And you know, I noticed Walmart recently pulled their products from Google Express, which is Google's grocery delivery service. So I think there's increasing competition around this for an incredibly small market at the moment. And I guess we'll see where it goes.   [0:07:31] Spencer: Yeah. Before we move on. I, despite our skepticism, I think there clearly is something here and you know, whether it's Instacart or Postmates or Amazon or anything Walmart or Jet tries to do, there's clearly value to having a hall. You're grocery shopping, just show up at your door essentially. And I think like a lot of things on the Internet, whether it was a couple of years ago when everyone's like no one's going to put their credit card into their phone to buy something online. It's like there's all these articles about how many people abandon their carts because it's on mobile and they need to go back to their desktop. No one talks about that anymore. You just do it. I think we're not that far from whole foods being a warehouse of food for Amazon delivery rather than a grocery store. Right.   [0:08:18] Patrick: Delivered by robots.   [0:08:20] Spencer: Yeah, exactly.   [0:08:21] P.J: And that's what the future looks like. Groceries delivered by robots.   [0:08:24] Spencer: You heard it here first.   [0:08:25] P.J: Yeah, we'll leave it to you guys. Next article of the day. Reddit is raising a huge round near $3 billion valuation. So Reddit is raising one. Sorry, $150 million to $300 million to keep the front page of the Internet running. Multiple sources tell TechCrunch. The forthcoming series D round is said to be led by Chinese tech giant, Tencent at a $2.7 billion pre-money valuation. And now depending on how much follow on cash Reddit drums up from Silicon Valley investors and beyond, it's post money valuation could reach an epic $3 billion. Yikes. And now my first concern that comes up immediately for this, and I feel like maybe you guys felt the same way. Censorship, right? I mean, maybe it doesn't matter, but Reddit remains a relatively safe space for trailers and conspiracy theorists alike. The currently banned apps and websites in China though, like massive lists just to shortlist as Google, Netflix, Facebook, Twitter, Snap, Insta, Youtube, flickr, Tinder, and Reddit of course. And that doesn't even include news publications, cloud storage products and email. So I don't know, there's something feels weird about this, right? Also like Tencent is also one of the most important architects of the great firewall of China. This is serious. There's a lot going on. There's a lot of meat here.   [0:09:53] Spencer: It's like this is a different than I expected.   [0:09:54] P.J: Oh really? It just seems like there's strange things at play.   [0:10:00] Patrick: Spencer, I know you had some hot takes on this.   [0:10:02] Spencer: No, go ahead.   [0:10:03] Patrick: Well, yeah, I think it's interesting that Reddit has had a lot of challenges over the past couple of years. And PJ, you alluded to some of that where they've had some really bad homophobic, misogynistic, racist, threads that have propagated conspiracy theories and hate speech and they've dealt with it in different ways. Some of the ways that they've dealt with it has been good. Some of it's been not so good. I know their CEO was editing comments and specific threads to make them look a certain way. And then he got caught doing that and had to apologize. If they had been a bigger company, can you imagine if Facebook did something like that? He'd be hauled in front of Congress immediately. So, and I was thinking about the valuation piece of this too, where if you took all the bad stuff out, and you're looking at their monetization model, it's through ads, right? Like most companies. They're like most social companies but they've really only recently started monetizing through ads and their real strength has been a very supportive and loyal community of Reddit users. I don't use Reddit, but I know people who do and the people that use Reddit, love Reddit. They love it. They're like in the community, they're posting and commenting and all that stuff. And the challenge as we know scaling a business model where ads are the primary revenue driver is that you can lose some of that early days, communal feel when you start layering in promoted posts and different types of advertisements and it kind of loses its initial bespoke early day feeling those.   [0:11:54] Spencer: Yeah. I think the flip side of the darker elements of Reddit is that Reddit, can be a place for really specific groups of people and that can be people in a city, someone with a certain medical condition, people who play a sport. Like recently I've been looking and there's a subreddit for woodworking and it's like, oh, this is maybe a hobby that I'd be interested in. And there's just a ton of resources and people who are helpful. So for everyone who's out there trying to make a joke, well, if there's a lot more of these people, but for everyone out there who's, who's kind of trolling and you're trying to be a little bit silly, there's a lot of people who are just passionate about something and go to Reddit to share it. And I think it's kind of inspiring actually, that those communities exist on the Internet in a place that it's not just a website for those people. It's a website that can serve any community and it happens to be Reddit for a lot of people.   [0:12:50] Patrick: Right? Do you think that this changes anything for Reddit potentially down the road?   [0:12:58] Spencer: Well, they stay in business for a little bit longer. I don't think so. I think you're probably reading too much into the the Chinese[crosstalk]   [0:13:07] Patrick: have you been spending some time on Reddit recently PJ?   [0:13:09] P.J: Actually, I've only been on Reddit maybe once in my whole life. I'm not a big ... My roommate is like obsessed. Anytime we're doing anything like watching a movie, he just is looking at his phone the whole time and he's in Reddit constantly living in the comments. Right?   [0:13:23] Patrick: Nba Reddit as a really good, yeah. Community. Right. Community.   [0:13:27] Spencer: I feel singled out now because I actually do spend a decent amount of time on Reddit   [0:13:32] Patrick: That's all we need to hear from somebody.   [0:13:32] Spencer: Don't use Facebook, don't use Twitter. Casually though love reading Reddit. The comments can be hilarious. But like I said, just moved recently. So looking for cool areas, restaurants, bars in my neighborhood and there's a subreddit for it. So just reading through it on a couple of times a week can pick out spots, find somewhere to go check out, and it's actually really interesting to see and it's like having a good neighbor or a friend recommend some places to you. You just there and it's a different feel than just going on Yelp and looking at aggregate and total summation.   [0:14:08] Patrick: Are you getting into woodworking? Is that what this is?   [0:14:11] P.J: Yeah. What do you, tell me more about that.   [0:14:13] Spencer: I won't go down the rabbit hole of the hobbies that Reddit has inspired or there's some really, I'll just ... There's some really specifics. I'll read it. That's all. That's all I'll say.   [0:14:23] Patrick: I mean, but what you're describing though, Spencer, is the kind of dual nature of all of these social media sites. On one hand, they can connect people who feel lonely or who are passionate about a certain topic that maybe others around them aren't passionate about and find that community that they'd been looking for. On the other hand, there's Jonses with hate speech and things like that and who knows, maybe Reddit Will start handling this really well and it'd be a success story, so I'll be interested to what they do with all this capital and it's a huge inflection point for their business and kind of their all or nothing shot I feel like so.   [0:15:00] Spencer: Just as an example, they're on the weeds podcast of ox podcasts. They're talking about a study of where they paid people to give up Facebook who are on the platform. They weren't planning to give it up. And those people who are basically just happier, they socialize more, they watch a little more TV, which is maybe the one question one thing.   [0:15:19] Patrick: And they have some money now, which is nice.   [0:15:22] Spencer: But they were less politically divisive. They were a little less informed on some things, but just like genuinely happier. I think one of the interesting things that happens in Reddit versus Facebook, that the communities are moderated by people from the community. So there are subreddits to help people quit smoking, to quit drinking. And when those people will talk about their success, there's so much positive in encouragement and positive feedback and the negative elements of that. Unlike Facebook where anyone from high school that you don't really know anymore can come in and comment and make you feel pretty bad about something or give you that kind of fomo feeling. There's a community of people supporting you trying to do whatever it is. Whether it's something you know, trying to get rid of some addiction or learn some new hobby, which I think so that moderating the fact is it makes it a little bit different than other types of social networks.   [0:16:14] P.J: A little more like true democracy going on over there.   [0:16:18] Spencer: Or a benevolent dictatorship. In the case of moderation.   [0:16:22] Patrick: If Reddit is the front page of the Internet, does that make Facebook like the national enquirer? Who's to say, hi,   [0:16:33] P.J: Let's move on. We got a little of time left. Last article of the day. Warby Parker's new shopping tool lets you try on and buy glasses virtually using your iPhone's camera. So now this article is Warby Parker announced new shopping tool and it's more convenient for iPhone owners, Virtual Try-on. The tool, which lives inside the glasses by mail companies app is available on February 4th. So this Monday it just launched. The caveat is you'll need an iPhone X, iPhone XR or iPhone XS to take advantage. So not just for iPhone users. If you have an old school iPhone, you're not going to be able to use this thing either. Spencer, you wear glasses sometimes, right?   [0:17:13] Spencer: Yep. You got me.   [0:17:15] P.J: You guys can't see. But sometimes he wears glasses. Do you have feelings on this? Do you get ex ... Does this get you excited?   [0:17:22] Spencer: [inaudible]radio? Yeah. Not really. I'm pretty straight forward. When I went to go buy my most recent pair of glasses, went to a store in New York, asked the guy for some help. He picked out two pairs, tried them on, chose one, locked out. And I might be an anomaly there, but I think from-   [0:17:41] P.J: Boom! I love that.   [0:17:42] Spencer: But I think this is really interesting to me because it sort of solves two problems. One is it's helping people try glasses. It's lowering friction to make a purchase. The second is it's giving people a better sense of what they're going to look like without going in the store. So it's going to reduce the likelihood that they need to go in and make a return or [inaudible] me back in, which of course has a cost to Warby. So hopefully for for them the business outcome is it's increasing revenue, making the purchase easier and they're reducing their operating costs by reducing the number of returns.   [0:18:16] Patrick: Yeah. To me, reading the article and there was a lot of buzz about this. This story appeared multiple of the new sources that I read on a regular basis and while it's cool and definitely the benefits that Spencer's talking about are real. I also didn't understand necessarily the getting as much buzz as it did because to me it just feels like they took Snapchat filters and turn them into [crosstalk] Whoa, we can do now what Snapchat could do two years ago and it's just Warby Parker glasses instead of like Elton John glasses. I mean it's cool, but I want the Elton John one.   [0:18:55] Spencer: Yeah.   [0:18:56] Patrick: So it's just definitely cool and I think there's obviously a business case to be made from a technology perspective. It wasn't super exciting. I think there's other use cases for AR for things like the way that Wayfair and other furniture stores are doing it where you can see, you can overlay a couch in a living room type of thing that would be more valuable than, productize smart Snapchat filter.   [0:19:21] Spencer: So you don't wear glasses do you?   [0:19:22] Patrick: I do not.   [0:19:29] P.J: 20-20 vision. I honestly just don't trust that augmented reality fit. I don't think it'll necessarily match real life. And I guess it's for two reasons. One, I just don't trust that just looking at yourself with this augmented pair of glasses on will necessarily look the way to look in real life. Also, we're not even considering the feel. the feel of a pair of glasses has to feel right. You know, so until they have augmented feeling technology out, I'm not buying.   [0:19:57] Patrick: Well, the other thing I was thinking about too, along those lines, PJ is 97% of Americans won't freaking order groceries, but there's going to be some huge wave of people putting something on their face every day that they saw on an app.   [0:20:11] P.J: That's what I'm talking about.   [0:20:13] Patrick: Hot tech Spencer. I don't know.   [0:20:14] P.J: There it is. It's called augmented reality. It's inherently different. It's like if you think about catching a charter as art in Pokemon go is so different from trying to catch on in real life. Have you ever tried, it's entirely different. Wait, one more question for you guys. What I want to hear, what's an augmented reality app that you're just hankering for that you just really want? And I'll give you a second to think. Well, I'll tell you mine and you know, growing up I was very into a Tamagotchi if you guys remember those little pet on your key chain, but just like a cool little Tamagotchi that only I can see my pet. No one can see them. I look around where is he? Okay. There he is on the ground. You've got to feed them. You got to take care of them. And then you know when it comes to having to really take care of him, like you just close the app, close the phone. I don't need to worry about buying pet food or any of that stuff. Something that makes me feel like I have a little buddy.   [0:21:08] Patrick: So an AR Tamagotchi   [0:21:09] P.J: An AR Tamagotchi you heard it here first.   [0:21:12] Patrick: Wow. Here's all my money. [inaudible]   [0:21:17] Spencer: You don't use Reddit. You don't order groceries online, you don't think that trying glasses on with your phone is a good idea. But they are Tamagotchi.   [0:21:26] P.J: I am on Facebook so you can find just about out of time here. You guys, thanks so much for being on here with me. This is PJ Bruno.   [0:21:35] Patrick: Patrick [inaudible]   [0:21:36] Spencer: And Spencer Burke.   [0:21:37] P.J: signing off. You guys take care. [0:21:39]

This show originally aired on the Big Seance Podcast - Ep 132 "Straight Dudes! Get Thyself to a Spirit Triangle!" and was produced by Patrick Keller. Where are all the straight men in the metaphysical and spiritual communities? Patrick Keller of the Big Seance podcast hosted a "triangle table" chat with Ash Riley of In My Sacred Space and Slade Roberson of Shift Your Spirits. We talk about ... the divine feminine, LGBTQ spirituality, coming out of the (spiritual) closet, and how to make spirituality more accessible to the elusive straight male. A fun, lively, original discussion of some rarely approached topics! GUEST LINKS - ASH RILEY InMySacredSpace.com In My Sacred Space Discussion Group on Facebook In My Sacred Space on Instagram GUEST LINKS - PATRICK KELLER BigSeance.com Big Seance Podcast HOST LINKS - SLADE ROBERSON Slade's Books & Courses Get an intuitive reading with Slade Automatic Intuition FACEBOOK GROUP Shift Your Spirits Community BECOME A PATRON https://www.patreon.com/shiftyourspirits Edit your pledge on Patreon TRANSCRIPT Ash: I've decided that I am a connector. Slade: Yes. Patrick: Yes. Ash: That's what I do. I reach out to people, and I meet people and I connect them with other people, because, I don't know. I just feel like, oh! You guys should know each other because I like you and I like you. You should like each other. Slade: I feel very much the same way. I consider myself a matchmaker, and I used to do it even when I was in corporate. I would hire people and put them in certain places to work with other people. I have six marriages that resulted from that and... Ash: Holy -----! Slade: And there are at least three children that I can claim. Ash: You can start a business on that! Patrick: I remember you saying that, yeah. Slade: I don't know that I could do it if I did it intentionally with a romantic intention involved. But if I do it in the context of maybe work or, yeah, like you said, just recognizing, you guys should know each other. Like, my Automatic Intuition program has become this party that I host. And whenever I add someone to it, it becomes increasingly more difficult to screen people to become a part of that. You know what I'm saying? It gets to be more and more kind of delicate and intricate. And that's what I think about when somebody's like, I want to take your program! I'm thinking, okay, what's the seating chart here, at the dinner table? You know what I mean? Ash: I feel like when I meet people that I want to introduce to other people, it's because I feel like they're gonna vibe and it's like a certain energy that I get from them. I feel they're similar. Slade: Yeah, I mean I would love it if people would do that to me. I mean, it does happen. People do introduce me to people, but I have become, especially with all this podcasting stuff, really kind of aware of the fact that, it's interesting that you say that, because I feel like my power is in introducing people to other people, also on a scale of like, discovering someone, or finding this person and being like, why aren't thousands of people listening to this woman? Ash: Yeah, yeah! Slade: You know? And interviewing them and I'm not interested in interviewing people who are already famous, or have more followers than I do, or whatever. Even though Patrick does. Patrick: Do you know how many people I've had the opportunity to, and I just go, and I either drop the ball and don't do it, or it just doesn't feel right. And the ones that I have interviewed that have been, you know, bigger names, just like landed in my lap. Ash: I've always wanted to... I mean, I have a decent following for what I do and the amount of effort that I put into it. It's not spectacular, but I recognize that I have a much bigger platform than a lot of other people. When I do meet those people who I think, Gawd, people should know who this person is! That's why I always want to give them an opportunity to be exposed to my audience at least, because I'm like, if I meet somebody and I believe in them and what they're talking about, I think that that's really valuable for other people. Slade: Well you're also displaying your talent for recognizing that in other people. And people come to associate you with someone who has cool people on their platform. You know what I mean? I don't want people to feel like I have a bunch of canned interviews, or.. Ash: Right! Slade: I want them to think, Wow! He always finds these people that I would've never known about otherwise but I'm so glad that I do. That's the feeling that I want them to have. And I also want the people who are on the show to feel like it's a big deal for them. To feel like, either they love the show already so it's really cool for them to get to be on it, or they feel like, Wow, I went on the show and now I have so many more people listening to me. Or I've got so many new clients from that or whatever, and to be really excited about it. Because we do this stuff so much more frequently now than the average person that we might put on. There's just an energy about having someone be excited about being a part of what you're doing. And being excited about being a collaborator and it comes through. You can feel it. You know what I mean? When you listen to a show with somebody who's really excited and happy to be there, even if they're kind of nervous or something. Ash: Absolutely. Patrick: So, I'm just considering this thing started. Slade: Well why don't you tell everybody how we met, because I'd love to know what your perspective is on how we all three know each other. Patrick: I think I talked a little about it when I had each of you on the show, but I think I talked about it the most when Ash was on the show, and in my... it's not really a previous blogging life, because a podcast is just kind of an extension of what I started doing with the blog. I met Ash through her blog, and I think when I realized she was from my area, that's when we started talking. I think I had, you might remember this, Ash, I don't know exactly how... If like, I messaged you or you messaged me. Or maybe you commented on my blog or something, but we started communicating pretty regularly. I had lots of questions for her about my website. She had already been in the blogging world and I was still learning about it. I think we were talking about how I was experiencing the intense early part of my spiritual shift. We've all talked about this, where I couldn't get enough books about it. And I couldn't stop reading about it and... Ash: The information-gathering phase. Patrick: Yes! Yes. And I was overwhelmed and I think Ash was like, You know, there's this dude that I need to connect you with because he's real. That's how I got connected with your blog. I don't think I actually communicated with you until quite a bit later, Slade, but I was following you and learning from you at that time. Slade: Cool. Patrick: Then I think you reached out to me, Slade, before you started your fabulous podcast and Ash always pops up in topics, like, Ash said this, or Ash is so... Ash: SURPRISE! Here I am! Slade: From the closet. Ash: Like a jack-in-the-box. Patrick: By the way everybody, I made Ash sit in her closet because that's the greatest place for someone with a mobile laptop to record for acoustics, and it turns out her closet is basically a spiritual oasis and is beautiful. Slade: There's fashion in there too. Patrick: Yes! Ash: When I come out of the broom closet, it's like literally the spiritual broom closet here. Slade: It really is what I would expect your closet to be in the best kind of way. My closets are very suburban and not exciting at all. They are arranged by ROYGBIV and they all have the same exact hanger on every item of clothing, I will say that. Those are my two. Ash: You're not OCD either. Slade: No, not at all. I have a south node in Virgo, I've discovered, which is where I get all my perfectionism in this lifetime from. Ash: I have a south node in Sagittarius, which is where I get all of my bluntness. Slade: Oh good! I like Sagittarius energy. We can trust it. That we're getting the exact, undistilled, unvarnished... Ash: The unvarnished truth. Slade: Yes. I like that. I like that quality. Patrick: I just wanted to tell people that we were, when we decided to do this, I don't know whose idea it was first, but it just... Ash: It was me! I said we should do this. It would be like the Avengers except with a better ending than Age of Ultron. Patrick: It just makes sense that it happened, because... Slade: We end up talking about each other anyway. If any two of us are together, the other person's name gets invoked, so... Patrick: Yes. Ash: We're like the Holy Trinity. Patrick: Yes! And by way of joking, it's funny. We discussed what we were going to talk about and I don't know if you guys ended up being serious, but I was just joking and coming up with all these funny, ha ha things just to entertain people. And it ended up that we came up with the curious thing that there are more women and gay men in our spiritual, psychic, metaphysical world, and not a lot of straight men. Like, what's up with straight men? Where are the straight men? And I think Ash said something like, I think I copied and pasted it here, she said something like... Hang on... Slade: He's got receipts, Ash. Patrick: I apparently didn't copy. But you said something funny about, "Where are the straight men at, yo?" Or...Oh! I know! "When are straight men gonna get their sh*t together??" is what you said. Something like that. Ash: Yeah! Slade: Mmm... I have some theories about why it is a women-gay-men alliance predominantly. That's pretty easy to speak to. And it's so weird because when we were joking about this topic, we're kind of joking about it but then I was like, That's actually kind of a real thing that I observe all the time. It came up in conversation with so many people over the next few days. Ash: Oh, really? Slade: There were other people who commented on it as well. It came up in a really super woo-woo way when someone told me, at the teahouse I go to, the next day, she brought up the fact that a lot of women were murdered for witchcraft during the Inquisition are reincarnating at this time. And that there were a lot of gay men that were crucified along with them. That is a very common lore, or whatever. It's where the term 'faggot' literally comes from. Patrick: Ooo explain that more. How does that...? Slade: Well, they burned them along with the witches but in the context of like, Okay, we're going to have this big grand inquisition inquiry public burning to kill 1 or 2 or 3 women at a time, but then they just take a handful of queers and throw them in just as kindling, just to dispose of them. It wasn't even like, they didn't even waste a lot of energy on having a specific murder event for us, you know? So the term 'faggot' refers to kindling, sticks that you throw in the fire to help it start burning. And that's kind of one of the origins of that disparaging term, or whatever. So I was talking to this woman the day after you and I, the three of us, were kind of tossing that concept around. Where are all the straight dudes?? She just came out of nowhere with this idea that those souls are reincarnating right now. And I'm not a huge past-life, reincarnation, that's not a rabbit hole that I go down really often. But I will always engage anyone in a conversation about it that wants to talk about it. Yeah, she was like, "There's all these witches, the souls of all these women, who have chosen to reincarnate at this time." It's, you know, I'm just passing it on. Ash: You just recently did an interview with Susan Grace, which is a long-time friend of mine as well. One of the things that she talks about pretty regularly is how... I would need to go back and... I think she's mentioned it in every single reading she's done for me in the last year. Astrologically, we're coming back around through a cycle, and I can't remember which planet it is, but... Patrick: I can read your comment. Or actually it's Slade's comment. Slade said that she said something about the planetoid Regulus causing a 2,000 reign of men. That is over in 2020. Ash: So I think that might be what she's talking about, is the last time this happened was, it put us into the Dark Ages, which was the time when women were being burned at the stake for being witches. It was a suppression of the feminine. That cycle is ending in the next five years. And it's kind of coming on right now. So you're seeing a lot of that collective pain and energy from that time coming up from beneath the surface for healing. Patrick: Mmm... Slade: I like the thought of it being kind of a cultural zeitgeist, or like an ancestral DNA kind of thing where it's just in our collective psyche to deal with that again. So I don't even think it has to be as literal a story as 'those souls are reincarnating', like they're all hanging out, going, "Okay, now's the time. Let's go y'all!" Like it's a suffragette march. I like to back out of those things, you know what I mean? I like to zoom out a couple of notches when talking about those things and imagine it in more of a, I don't know, mystical, collective consciousness kind of archetypal thing. Ash: Mmhmm. Slade: Like for some reason, I'm more happy and more comfortable getting onboard with that. In the way that you described it, as being like, that, whatever it was that's been repressed, we're not standing on its throat anymore. Of course it's gonna get up and wake back up again. Or, if nothing else, it's gonna have to be processed and dealt with differently than it has been. Another way that this has come up, which isn't as specific as, 'Where are straight men?' and 'Why are women and gay men the allies in new age spiritual movements?' But in my Shift Your Spirits community, someone was posting about how Wicca and pagan-identified religion was really on the rise in the United States. And I told her in a comment, I said, I've actually been hearing that since the 1980s. It started in the 1970s actually, that identification as a witch is one of the fastest growing religious identities in the United States and has been our entire lifetimes. Like it's not just happening. It's something that's BEEN happening for awhile, so I'm down with that. Patrick: Well if I may come down to Earth for a second and let's just talk about, like Ash said, I can't even think of more than a handful of straight psychics, for example. Ash: Straight, male psychics. Patrick: Straight male psychics, thank you. What is it about... Is there something about the feminine, or, you know, there probably are a lot of gay men who want to smack me when I refer to them as feminine, but is there something about the brain of the feminine side or what makes... Is it more capable of getting into the spiritual and all of that...? Ash is raising her hand. Ash: So, just to back up, everybody has masculine and feminine energy in them. I think that we have genderized that concept and that's not necessarily the case. It's just a way to refer to an archetype. Think of it more in terms of yin and yang, where yin is the feminine aspect. It's the receptive. It's what's connected to the "Divine". So I think that the reason why we see more gay male psychics than we do straight male psychics is because they are more in tune with that energy. And that is the gateway through which we pull in psychic information, archetypally speaking. I'm a tarot nerd and I love going through tarot archetypes but the archetype of the card, of the Lovers in the Major Arcana, it shows that. The traditional depiction of it is a man looking at a woman and the woman is looking up at a god-like angelic figure. The message within that card is that it's through the feminine that we reach that sort of enlightenment. Divine energy. Slade: I also want to throw in the fact that I think that whenever you exclude people from a social order where they're not in power, by virtue of survival or being able to make things happen for themselves, they have to become more resourceful and they have to learn how to do things in ways that people who, let's say you're heteronormative, white male in this culture. Sometimes there's a lot of things that happen for you that you don't have to think about, in the same way that someone who is excluded from that, whether they're a woman, or they're a minority, ethnically, or they're a gay man, we have to go around and find windows, unlock doors and sometimes tunnel our way in if we can't go through the front door. So I have a theory that that's also one of the reasons why gay people are considered more creative. Patrick: That's interesting. Slade: Or that women have an eye for the way that energies are interacting in a space in a different kind of way. I don't think it's about the fact that we are... I do agree with everything you said about being more in touch with receptive energy. And also being released socially to experience that, you know? Women actually have it shoved down their throat. Gay men come to it by exclusion, well I might as well! But I think that there's something that happened with the programming of straight men that is a little bit more on autopilot sometimes. And one thing that I will say for the straight dudes, because we've got a couple out there, and I can name them, but I won't embarrass them, but something that I've noticed about the straight men who ARE our allies, who we do find at our party, is that they're the real deal. They're the coolest of the guys. They're the ones that we all want to marry and they're the ones that probably need to be procreating more than the rest. Ash: And unfortunately, there's like two of them and all the rest of us are flinging ourselves at them. Slade: Oh, they're already married. And we meet their wives and of course she's adorable too and we hate her. Ash: That bitch. Slade: Yeah, exactly. You know, I do know these men in my life. And I think, gosh, what special kind of guys they are that they're able to shake out of that matrix, right? They are able to see through the matrix a little bit and see past that. So they are more awake. So when you do find them, they are truly empowered and powerful guys. And they do exist. But we can't ignore the fact that there's not a lot of them. And they don't tend to be working in this field the same way that we do, right? Ash: Yeah. One guy comes to mind that I discovered very recently and I completely, totally, just bought into everything. His name is John Wineland, and he's technically a relationship coach but he basically teaches yogic sexuality, and he just radiates this sacred masculine energy and it's so palpable. And you don't, I don't come across a lot of people that have that kind of presence, and who are able to talk about spirituality in a way that comes from that very masculine perspective. I think he's fantastic. If you've never read any of his work or anything, I definitely recommend checking it out. Slade: Patrick, do you have any theories? Patrick: Like in college I can think of... and I'm not a psychic or a medium, or anything like that, so I'm not going to comment on it from that angle, but for example, after coming out, or being completely honest with some of the male friends that were straight that I had in college, I think were all these people that we're talking about. Because those are the ones I connected with. They were very accepting and cool. They're not, I'm sure, psychics or mystics or anything like that. But I guess that's what I was thinking of. I also think of the future of our world, my students, when I made the decision last year to officially kind of come out to my school community, meaning parents and students and no longer worried about that. Previously, I had only been out to my staff. When I came out to my school community, I had some of the, and I'll use boys as examples, high school boys who I'd had as students in middle school, either came up and gave me a hug or told me how proud of me they were. One of them came up to me crying. And I thought, those are the cool peeps. Slade: Mmhmm. Patrick: Those are the cool kids. And, you know, I have some students now, currently, they'll say, "Hey, Mr. Keller, how's your husband?" And I'm like, that's cool. They're not afraid to be seen as 'I'm accepting this' or whatever. So I think in that way, the future is very promising. Slade: I think that that's an amazing form of activism that gets overlooked, and it a cumulative thing and it's one of the reasons why being out is important. Because it's so hard to de-humanize people when you know an actual face and name of an individual person. It makes it a little harder for people to put messages out there that are bigoted in some way because if you're someone who says, "Wait a minute, you know, they're talking about my teacher and that's not true." Therefore their whole theory is bunk. I do believe that being the person who maybe you're the first out gay person that this straight guy has been friends with before, has an impact on how he raises his son down the road. That guy that you knew in college who's like, I never knew a gay dude before, but you're cool. You just inoculated an entire potential family from future homophobia and probably misogyny as well. Because the issue with all those things are about people who are fearful and abusing people that they believe are beneath them. And one of my friends who I work out with a lot that's a straight guy who's an ally said to me, he was like, "I'm not insecure about my masculinity." The only way that you could be a misogynist or a homophobe is if you are. Ash: You know, I think that's an interesting conversation too. I always share this article in my Facebook group. It's called 'Healing the Mother Wound', and the name of the woman who's worked this is... I'm trying to find it... Bethany Webster. She also has a really great article on how that sort of mother wound plays into toxic masculinity. I think I shared a link to it in one of my more recent blog posts. Women talk a lot about men needing to take responsibility for how women have been treated for centuries and centuries and centuries. But also, there's a very important aspect here of, women also have to take responsibility for how we've raised our boys to be a part of that culture as well, and how toxic femininity has fed into toxic masculinity. So I think, you know, in the midst of the #MeToo movement and how feminism is kind of gaining this momentum right now. We also have to, at some point, stop and also accept our role as women in what we've also helped to perpetuate in some ways by being unconscious. Just as unconscious as the unconscious masculine. Slade: You're right. This polarity that's introduced by genderifying it, genderizing it, I can't remember what term you use, but by making it about masculine and feminine instead of making it about receptive versus projective energy, or dominant versus receiving, or all those different kind of terms, there's a lot of ways to talk about that stuff where it's not gender. And this gender thing is kind of like the first basic form of social division, you know? We keep talking about how our culture's still so divided. That's like a basic division that has been going on for who knows how long, right? The idea there, for a little while, that, before the #MeToo movement, there was kind of a meme within feminism about how feminism was humanism. Like, to be a feminist was essentially to be a humanist. And I know Justin Trudeau even brought that up recently when asked in an interview if he considered himself a feminist. And he said yes and that's why. So I think that there are a lot of reasons why women would perpetuate a system that is misogynistic, because there are some women who would perceive themselves to be still elevated enough within that system that they wouldn't rock the boat. They'd rather indoctrinate their daughters in order to inhabit those positions of influence, however small they may be, as opposed to the real work of what Susan talked about. Susan Grace said everything is going to be re-built. And part of what's happening is, everything's gonna fall apart first, you know? In order to renovate stuff, you have to blow it up. And I think that, you know, my feeling politically, culturally and humanistically is that we are watching a lot of stuff unravel. And one of the things about her message that was so meaningful to me is: You want it to break apart. Because we can't put it back together in a different way until it comes apart. So... that may have been a tangent... Patrick: I would love to bring something up, and that is, I mean, it goes along with everything we've talked about. But I've had a few guests on my show discuss how this women's suffrage movement happened... I mean, it's hand-in-hand with the spiritualist movement. And that was maybe kind of the first #MeToo era. And so I would just be curious to know what we think, now that we are having this #MeToo movement and many people have referred to it as Another Year of the Woman, or The Year of the Woman. What's that mean for spiritual peeps? Like us? What's it going to do to, if it was connected with the spiritual movement before, what's that do now? Ash: I think you see them kind of rising in parallel. And I think that's because, again, it goes back to that connection with the Divine Feminine and spirituality and that's how we're rising right now. Slade: I think women also are more receptive and use the principles that we teach and speak and talk about. Women have already mainstreamed a lot of new age culture to be tools in their tool box. The average woman is much more likely, in the United States, and I don't know, I can't speak to other cultures but here it feels like even people that, 10 or 20 years ago, we would feel like would never be seen chanting or burning incense or in a yoga class or something like that. A lot of that stuff has just become a regular part of women's toolbox of self-care, right? Women don't hesitate to seek things like readings, as one of their sources of information. And they're much more likely to pass along a lot of their information to their spouses. Like, I know a lot of guys whose partners and wives are getting readings from me. But I've even had situations where the husband is on the phone, or the information is clearly intended to be for the couple, but it's kind of like, it seems to be women who are just really comfortable with dialing that in. So I feel like if women are in a position of power and are in a position to make more decisions, they're going to include those kind of tools and making it more available. And it will just be like, not as big of a deal to say, have something like that taught in a classroom, right? Do you understand what I'm trying to get at? Ash: I have a question for you guys, and this is something that I've kind of pondered from time to time. And this could go off on a tangent as well. I talk about coming out of the spiritual closet, and I think that there's a lot of similarities in being a spiritual person and sort of being discriminated against in certain ways for your personal beliefs. In that regard, I think a lot of that parallels being gay and having to hide who you are from the world too. So I'm curious, especially with you guys, you're real spiritual and homosexual, so how does that... I don't know, let's talk about that. Slade: Hmm... Well, I will say this. It's easier to be out of your closet as part of your sexual identity than it was for me as a spiritual identity. I withheld THAT for much, much longer. Even though they both were happening in parallel in my awareness, I was actually more sensitive to the idea that I could be victimized for talking about hearing voices, being intuitive, being sensitive to spirits, knowing things about people. I was MUCH more afraid somebody was going to throw my ass in a sanitarium over that stuff than I was that I might be victimized for my sexual orientation. That has been my experience is that, it actually might be harder to come out of the spiritual closet. Ash: I mean, I know for a fact, over the last 5, 6, 7 years that I've been doing this and have been administrating Facebook groups that many, many, many people are still afraid to be out about their spirituality. Because they are terrified of what friends and family are going to think, about how people are going to react, they're afraid of losing their jobs, their credibility, and I kind of agree with what you're saying. I've never experienced having to come out about my sexuality, but I know that in terms of spirituality, that's been a really... It wasn't something that I just, you know, threw the door open and said, "Here I am!", dressed like Miss Cleo. It was sort of slow bits and pieces. I kind of just pushed it out there and I think maybe people just kind of saw it as an evolution. Slade: Like first you're bisexual for men, women... Ash: Right. Slade: You're really gay and everybody knows you're on your way to gay, but maybe you test the waters with the bi. Ash: Psy-curious. Slade: Psy-curious. There's your title for this show, Patrick. Patrick: Well I joked around about how it's a triangle-table discussion instead of a round-table discussion and that works too. Triangle, gay, bi-curious. Slade: Gosh, right?? So many layers... Patrick: Well I can tell you that I don't know that I relate it to coming out or being gay as much because I have considered myself very lucky. I had a very smooth coming out process and I haven't really had a lot of, at least that my eyes are open to, a lot of discrimination thrown against me since coming out in my senior year of high school. But I can tell you that I think part of my fear, like Slade is saying, of coming out of the spiritual closet, which I do, like Slade, that's more of a fear for me. It's harder when you have a podcast about it because everybody's like, "Yeah, he's a weirdo." Ash: What about blog?? I didn't even want to put my face on my own blog for three years. Patrick: Yeah? Ash: You know? Slade: Okay, you're a weirdo. Patrick: But what I was going to say is that I really have been also running away from organized religion my whole life and growing up Southern Baptist. And so, also, part of even though I'm so done with that and have left it behind, and I'm still running far away from it, worried about what people think, I guess, if you start talking about certain subjects. And I do have people give me weird looks because I don't have a lot of people in my community that are just kind of open to, "Hey, so let's talk SPIRITUALISM!" That type of thing. I do remember being more concerned about it when I was early on in the spiritual shift, that time period we were talking about earlier, when I was obsessed with EVP for example, and talking about spirit voices and people are like, "Uh........... I'm gonna go now........." Ash: I remember having a conversation with... I had several of these conversations actually, in a short period of time. I talked to my mom about it. I talked to some friends about it. And I had people, my best friend, ask me if she needed to call me an ambulance. I had people basically tell me I was delusional. My mom just kind of laughed it off and was like, "Oh, that's great. That's funny." And changed the subject. Really quickly. I had a lot of people change the subject very quickly. Slade: What was the ambulance gonna be for? Ash: Because I'm crazy, apparently. Slade: To bring the straitjacket. They need an ambulance to deliver the straitjacket. Ash: Do you have a head injury? But what IS funny is that since those conversations, a lot of those people have actually shifted on over with me. Slade: Oh, cool! Can I say something about my observations with this? Because this is something that I get asked a lot, and I work with a lot of people who are smackdab right there on the cliff. A lot of people are emerging and putting themselves out, not only as a spiritual person, but identifying themselves as a psychic, right? Or an intuitive, or whatever the case may be. And so, I hear these questions a lot. And I will say this, who you're imagining.... First of all, if you're in that space where you're like thinking, Ohmygosh, all these people are gonna think I'm nuts. I want you to sit down and see if you can make an actual list of who those people are. Are there actual people who think that? And is there more than three? Because sometimes you feel like, Oh there's all these people, and it's like, Okay, who are they? Well, my mom and this person over there, I don't really know, but I bet they would. It kind of falls apart a little bit and you start to realize how much you're pumping a lot of that up to be maybe more than it really is. And I'm not discounting the people who do say beep to you like you're delusional. But they are a minority. So what happens when you do just say, "You know what? I'm not going to convince anyone of anything. But I'm going to put what I think out there." It's like you're running a flag up a flag pole and all the people who agree with you, there's actually more of them in the closet than you ever realize, and they start approaching you and whispering, "Hey, by the way, I love your podcast." Ash: Exactly! Slade: That happens to me at the gym! Like it's a secret. Like I'm a drug dealer or something. You know what I mean? Ash: I had the same experience though. Like I would also meet people who, you know, I would tell them about some kind of weird paranormal experience that I've had and they'd be like, "You know what? This also happened to me one time." And it seems like everybody HAS had at least one of those stories that they've always been reticent to share with someone because they don't know how that person's gonna react, and they don't know if that's a safe space. Slade: Right. Ash: Just by you being yourself and being open, you give them permission to also do that. Patrick: It's like a very therapeutic moment for them too. In those situations. I've had a few of those. They've been like, at the xerox machine. Those have been a lot of where these conversations have happened for me. Where they're like, "Oh, you know, I know you're into this stuff so I have this, the other night I had this blahblahblah..." Just them getting it out of their system is, you know, I feel like I was their therapist or something. Slade: Feeling somebody that could witness them. And just to tie up what I was trying to get at with, can you list the people who are supposedly going to think you're nuts? You might. You might get a handful. But now when you start to list all the people who've emailed you and said, "Ohmygod, I love your podcast", or who have emailed you with their stories, and I know both of you get emails from people who tell you their life story and it's so vulnerable and so personal, and they've chosen YOU to be the person to tell, right? And if we start to make a list of those people, the point that I'm trying to make for everyone out there who's feeling fearful of what the people who are gonna judge you negatively are going to think, when you start to really pool and list and add up all the people who are going to be connected to you because of it, or are gonna identify you as a safe person to talk to, or gonna agree with you or be interested in what you have to say, that population is so overwhelmingly larger, don't you think? Patrick: Yeah. It's just fear that keeps us assuming that we wouldn't be accepted. Slade: Yeah. We're afraid of what those 10 people are gonna think, that we don't even really like anyway. Meanwhile, there's a football stadium full of people who are like, "Bring it on!" And what you realize when you walk through that portal, that vortex, and go through to the other side, you go, "Ohmygod, there's tons of people here." That's the first thing that really happens, is people flock to you because you have run a flag up and said, "I'm someone you can talk to about this." That is a courageous act. Those of you who do put yourselves out there and do that are creating an opening for all those other people who can't. And creating a moment for them at this xerox machine, that they wouldn't have had otherwise. So I think that that's the way it happens. And I understand why it's scary, and also understand that once you're on the other side of it, you'll think, What the hell was I waiting on?? Ash: Yeah. Patrick: Kinda like when I came out this last year. I was like, why couldn't this have happened years ago? Because honestly when I started teaching 17 years ago, I always assumed that there would never be that moment. That I would be, I would have to wait until I was retired, to live that 100% out of the closet experience again. Why couldn't it have happened at least five years ago? I don't know about 17 years ago, but... Slade: Well, I mean, the reason why it doesn't happen is because there is a very real danger that something really bad could happen to you. You could be targetted in some way. I mean, I don't want to say that, just by being brave and doing it, that that will make all of that stuff go away. Ash: Your dad could try to give you an exorcism in a public parking lot. Patrick: Or your parents could throw you out of the house as a teenager. Slade: Yeah. Patrick: And those things happen. There are very real dangers of, well, I'm sure coming out of the spiritualist closet for some, there might be a very real danger of someone, depending on where you live, or what your family situation is... Slade: I live in the Bible belt. I know what it's like to be surrounded by fundamentalists all the time. To the point where sometimes I feel like, maybe I actually have some kind of programming that I'm numb to it now. Because when I travel to other parts of the country that are different in some way, I think, Wow! Even the average redneck on the street is liberal! It feels like I'm in Oz or something and it makes me aware of the fact that I do live in a place that is so conservative. But I will say this. The bigotry is on both sides a little bit because I have such an expectation of these people around me, who maybe identifies as Christian or whatever, being unable to process what I do or connect with it in some way. I'm often finding that I'm the one who's being narrow-minded. They do come up to me and approach me and sometimes people who are mystical people in a religious way are actually much more able to talk about mysticism period. I've found that little old ladies who identify really strongly with Jesus are MUCH more open to the idea that your grandfather visits you at night. They don't bat an eye about spirit visitation at all. Or the existence of angels, some of these things that are part of the new age... Ash: In some cases, I feel like they've just lived long enough to have those experiences. Slade: Right. And it's a matter of vocabulary. At some point you have to ask yourself, she's using the term she's using because of the time period that she grew up in, and the education and spiritual system she was indoctrinated into. That's her vocabulary and that's her words for it. I often find myself putting it on myself to do the translating. The angry, younger version of myself was like, "Nah! This is BULLsh*t!" Like, in your face about it. Now I'm much more compassionate and empathetic to the fact that, you know what, I'll do the translating. I'm not gonna force them to accept my goddess vocabulary because sometimes that shuts people down just because they can't process what it is that... You're using a word that they've never heard before and their mind shuts off at, "What? Did he just refer to God as a woman..?" or whatever. And then they don't hear everything you say afterwards. And so I have learned to do the translating myself. And even though it wears me out sometimes, and I wish everybody was a little bit more fluid with their vocabulary, sometimes I have to look through the words that they're using and look at the energy of what they're trying to communicate. And say, "Okay, I get what she's saying. She's talking about empathy. She's talking about psychic receptivity. And she's just couching it in, a more conservative way of talking about it." So it does go both ways a little bit. I'm just owning that for myself. Patrick: Word. If I try to bring us back to the initial question, keeping in mind that we know that there are straight men, for example, who are our buds and who are completely down with all of this. And they're probably the ones throwing their phone across the room right now as they're listening. Because they're like, "Why can't you see me and hear me?" And just as there might be women who are completely lost on what we're talking about, and aren't down with it. Keeping that in mind, how do we bring straight men in, or is it possible to bring straight men in? Do they have to do it themselves? Ash: Ooo good question. Patrick: Well I am a genius! Ash: There is no off position on the genius switch. Slade: For myself, I will say this. The same thing I was kind of talking about stepping out there and running a flag up the flag pole and letting people identify with you. So I think you live your example and you gather the other people along with you and you create those spaces. And you make sure that guys feel welcome when they do show up. As far as recruiting them, that seems like a different kind of situation. I don't know that we can do that. I think that we need to make sure that we're not excluding the men that want to participate. The straight guys that wander into our meditation circle or whatever it might be. And I do think that one of the things that could be different for Ash, for example, with the community she runs from mine, I do get a lot of male clients. And I get a lot of younger guys that come to me for readings, and I think that they do feel more comfortable just because there is a man present in the room, gives them a kind of permission to participate. Even though I'm very out about my sexual identity, I do feel like sometimes the guys who show up to participate with us, it helps to see a couple of dudes in the room. Ash: I totally concur with that. I was having a conversation with a friend just a couple of weeks ago about how there's not a lot of masculine voices when it comes to spirituality, particularly not straight male masculine voices. And I feel like there's a really big... Everybody wants to be able to see someone in a space that looks like them. And we always talk about how it's always a white male everywhere you go, EXCEPT where we are, you know? Straight, white male. So I think that's also a big barrier for those guys, is that they don't see a lot of people like themselves in our communities. So I think it's hard for them to be able to identify in some ways. Slade: I send a lot of men who are looking for relationships into those environments, particularly when straight guys who are in their late 20s and they come and have readings about their love life and where they can go to meet people. I do send them into those environments because I know... Patrick: You have match-making services also? Slade: Right! Just to bring that back in. The fact of the matter is, if you are one of those men and you're really a special, unique, you know, maybe minority. But listen, if you want to be like the coolest person that ever walked through the room at yoga class, go to a yoga class as a straight man, as a place of putting yourself out there and saying, I'm a different kind of man. I can't imagine that you wouldn't have lots more opportunities to meet the kind of women that you want to meet. Ash: Exactly. Slade: You know, like those environments for the right kind of mindset, like if you're the kind of guy that thinks, You know what, I'm comfortable enough with myself. I don't mind being the only guy in the room. You get a kind of attention for being the only man in the room with a bunch of women. Even when I was in college, I would take these women's studies classes (I have a Women's Studies certificate), and back then, they would give you a certificate if you took certain classes that were within other disciplines and fields and but they didn't have a major for it yet. So if you took history classes that were designated as a women's studies history class, eventually if you had enough of those credits, they would give you a certificate. So I would often take, say, for instance, a literature class or history class or politics class that was a women's studies class, because it was more interesting. The topic was more specific and granular and meaty in some way. And I would find myself in these classrooms where I was the only man. And even though I was a gay man, I still was the only MAN. And there is an attention that you get from women when you're the only dude in the room. And so I would think, that for a straight dude, that sounds like a great spot to be in. Ash: Just walk into the room, turn to the women and go, "Oh heeeeey!" Slade: So we are recommending that for your spiritual growth and edification, as well as your dating life, straight dudes, get thyself to a... Ash: Spiritual circle! Slade: Spiritual circle. Patrick: Right away. So Ashley, what do I call this episode? Ash: Mmm... I don't know... Good Times in the Spiritual Closet? Patrick: Actually, I kind of like, Get Thee to a Spiritual Circle. Ash: Or triangle? Patrick: Or triangle! Slade: Ohmygosh. Patrick: Ash. Tell us what's going on in your sacred space, besides the closet that you're sitting in now? That could look like anyone's living room or bedroom, and it's your closet. So tell us what's going on in your world. Ash: Oh... my world is quickly shifting and changing and I'm honestly not 100% certain where it's going right now. I just kind of started a re-brand over the summer, and I'm actually getting away from doing readings and being so focused on metaphysics and I'm kind of branching more into personal development and I'm on this big authenticity kick right now. A lot of my writing has shifted quite a bit over the last year. It's kind of taken more of a creative, emotional direction. I'm not selling anything, I'm not pedaling any wares, I have nothing to tell you other than if you just like to read my daily thoughts, you can follow me on Instagram and also subscribe to my blog. Patrick: I don't think there's anything wrong with that. That's awesome. Just BE. Ash: Yeah. I kind of decided that I'm doing this for pure enjoyment at this point, and I think that that's the best way to approach it. Especially if you want to grow something, do it because you're passionate about it, not because you need to make it happen. It's my passion project. Patrick: So you've made this cool move that a lot of people would be very jealous of. This chance to just kind of jump out there and be brave and start something and move somewhere. How many years now have you, you're in Brooklyn, right? Ash: I'm actually Jersey City. Patrick: Oh, okay. So how long have you now been an East coast nerd? Ash: It was a year in July, so almost a year and a half December. Patrick: Wow. I had thought that it'd have been longer by now. Ash: Still pretty fresh over here! Patrick: Tell everyone... It's InMySacredSpace.com, right? Ash: Yes. Patrick: And you said your Instagram is where it's at? Ash: Yup. And InMySacredSpace.com. I'm also on Facebook too, but I seem to be gravitating more towards Instagram these days. Patrick: Slade! Just recently, I see that you kind of revisited some stranger angel stuff going on at sladeroberson.com. Slade: I did! It was my most recent episode. Just talking about the phenomenon of stranger angels, which is something that I read about and podcasted about in the past, but I had a whole different take on it while travelling, really around the concept of how you can be one of these people. Like my past experiences have been all about receiving those experiences as opposed to, this time I was travelling with someone who is very actively likes to be a stranger angel. So it activated a different awareness about what it means to move through the world and interact with people that way. Patrick: What else is going on? Slade: You know, like Ash said, it's really not, for me, about pedaling anything in particular. I also believe in authenticity and I believe that putting yourself out there and talking about things that you're interested in and hosting a space where other people can do the same is a really powerful form of marketing, and you don't have to jump up and down and sell things in order to connect with people. I really do believe in the concept of marketing yourself as being... Find a group of people that you share something in common with and go be relentlessly helpful to them. Ash: I love that. I love that! Be relentlessly helpful. Slade: I have to give credit to Tim Grahl. He's something of a business mentor to me and he comes from the independent publishing community. That's his definition and it's one I've taken and borrowed. My interpretation of that has been to create space with my platform for other people to come and... It's not only about me making this content and putting it out there. That's one part of it. The authenticity. But also using my social media platform as a big keg party basically. I don't have control over it. It's not a... The Shift Your Spirits community on Facebook has been a surprising revelation in how... you know when you are in these groups where there are tens and thousands of people and no one is talking or commenting on anything, and the moderators and admin people are trying to get a discussion going and it's just fallen flat... Ash: I feel like that's how my group has become, but only because I've neglected it. Slade: Well, you know, it was one of my biggest fears, honestly, and starting a community like that was like, Ohmygod, how do I pump these people up? I thought I needed to be some kind of cheerleader or something and that's not my personality. And what I have found... Ash: No! Slade: What I've found is that by inviting all these people and just creating a space for them to talk about all the things that they want to talk about, they all have their own paranormal experiences. They all have their own spiritual modalities that they study and so I have been very hands off with the community. I'm hosting this community and that's my role. The people who participate, the members are the ones generating the discussion. I often don't even comment on the discussions because there are so many of them, and I love just kind of drifting through, quasi-invisibly, and seeing all the things that are going on. And I have to tell you, I'm really proud to have my name on something that I didn't make but that nevertheless I feel like I invited to happen. And it's really about other people. It's not about me. And when you're an author, you're an online personality or podcast host like we are, it's very easy to come from this ego space of being a performer and being like, the one who's the centre of attention. I have found that I'm moving into that. Weirdly I've become more collaborative, less about it being about me, and more about it being about everyone else. So for me right now, the growth in Shift Your Spirits is all about the people who listen to the show and interact on Facebook and create this cool space where they talk about cooler stuff than I might even think to bring up. If you'd like to check that out, by all means, we'd love to have you. Patrick: And I'll put all of the links that we mentioned two groups and Instagram and websites. And we'll put all of those in the show notes. Great idea, Ash! Ash: Thank you! Slade: That was fun! Patrick: You are a genius. Ash: I know. I'm also humble. Patrick: And I'm, right now, just so you know, I'm gonna take a screenshot selfie of all three of us on the screen. Are you ready for the countdown? Here's my classic smile. You ready? One.. Two.. Three..... Wait, did I do it right? OH NO I didn't do it right! I did it wrong! It's Command-Shift-3. One. Two. Three. YAAAAAAAY! Thank you. Slade: Fun.

Kat: Okay. Oh. How do I do this? Wait for it. Patrick: Got to do it. Kat: Are you going [crosstalk 00:00:42] through the snow? Patrick: Yeah I'm going through the snow. I got it at like 60 degrees in here right now. It's 60 degrees in my house, I have no idea why. Kat: Is that cold? Patrick: To me it is, yes. Kat: Does that mean cold, I don't understand your language. Patrick: To me it is very cold. To me its subzero temperature, I'm absolutely freezing right now. I'm about to die of a cold or flu. Kat: Your dying? Patrick: Yup. I have not gone [crosstalk 00:01:11] Kat: It's a sad state. I'm going to ... Patrick: Hold on let me [crosstalk 00:01:18] Kat: I'm finding out what temperature that is. I'm Googling it so everybody understands what's happening. Patrick: Oh yeah, it doesn't translate. Doesn't translate in your language. Kat: Oh, it's 15 degrees. Hang on I've got to shut the door, there's window men right outside my door and it's super noisy. One second. Patrick: 15 degrees. Holy shit, what the fuck happened to my computer. So what's up everybody, hello, hello, welcome everybody. I'll go ahead and say that. Hello? Kat: What's up? Patrick: [inaudible 00:01:47] everybody's already said something. I don't know, my computer just took a shit. I've no idea. So did you say 15 degrees, your words? This is retarded. Hold on. I can't hear you. Kat: [inaudible 00:02:04] must be dying. Patrick: I can't, what the [crosstalk 00:02:06] Kat: Am I back? Am I back? Patrick: Yeah you're back. Oh, I forgot we're on my internet connection. Kat: Yeah I had ... No, it's because I put my earplugs in because my house cleaner is upstairs vacuuming. Patrick: Oh well how fancy, how fancy. Kat: I'm very fancy, you know that. Patrick: Very fancy with your extravagance earbuds. Kat: So I said that everybody should send you a love heart shower because you're surviving in only 15.555 degree Celsius right now, for the Australians. Now, if people are from Melbourne though, which is my hometown, they're going to be like, "Harden the fuck up, that's warm," but here where I live that's horrible. Horrible. Nobody should have to endure those sort of ... Patrick: Yeah, these are very horrible circumstances. [crosstalk 00:02:58] Kat: Nobody should have to endure those sort of subzero temperatures. Patrick: Nobody should be asked to endure these subzero temperatures, I'll tell you that. All right. Kat: All right. I might need some assistance. Can you help me out? Patrick: What do you got? Kat: Should I wear my hair like this? Should I wear my hair like that or behind? Or on one side? What's the best livestream hair? Patrick: I kind of like it behind. Kat: Out? Patrick: That looks good. Kat: Behind, all right. There you go everybody. Patrick: There you go. That looks good. Kat: We're going to talk about [crosstalk 00:03:37] Patrick: That's the queen Kat look. Kat: [crosstalk 00:03:39] Cleopatra. Patrick: She says, Angela said, [inaudible 00:03:43] I'm in Texas right now. Texas by way of Bali, very, very soon. In the next month, no, no, this month. This month, I'm going next week, next week. Kat: This week maybe. Maybe even tomorrow. Patrick: No I have to wait till the weekend. Kat: Oh well. Patrick: Have to wait till the weekend because [crosstalk 00:04:04] I have to move my stuff. Kat: Time and space is just, time is just an illusion anyway. The weekend could mean tomorrow. Could mean today. Could all be one day. That's extended into itself. Patrick: Time is an illusion [crosstalk 00:04:18] Kat: I think I'm going to take these out again now. I'm going to take these out again now because they're annoying me. Patrick: What is [inaudible 00:04:25] giving you a delay? I'm going to drop this in my [crosstalk 00:04:30] Kat: No, I just prefer no earbuds and the vacuuming stopped. But check it out, I'm sorry that I keep doing this to you Patrick, but I'm going to do it anyway. Are you ready? Patrick: I'm ready. Kat: I'm just eating my bacon and eggs with my Vegemite while in waiting for us to go live. Patrick: Oh my God. Oh my god. Kat: I was halfway through eating. Patrick: How are you destroying this fucking meal with that shit? That's an all American meal, and you're just going to destroy it with that. Destroy it, it's completely just- Kat: Look, pay attention. You want to put the Vegemite straight onto your eggs. Straight on. Patrick: What's that green thing? I don't want to put that Vegemite anywhere near my eggs. I don't want it anywhere near any of my food. Kat: That's avocado. Patrick: Oh that's an avocado? Kat: That's avocado. Patrick: I thought you all had green eggs and ham over there or something because I don't even know. Kat: You want to eat that with, look, pay attention. Patrick: I have no idea what you all have over there. Kat: You want to put a little bit of Vegemite on the avocado, eat it like that. I don't know why I get so much enjoyment from doing this to you. Patrick: [crosstalk 00:05:29] it's just crazy how different people's taste buds are. Kat: It's so good. Patrick: What you just did- Kat: It's just because- Patrick: What you just did was the equivalent of somebody spraying a cat turd on a fucking piece of toast and eating it to me, that's just what I just saw you do. Kat: I'd love to have some toast. [crosstalk 00:05:52] I'd love to have toast with avocado. You also- Patrick: What's up [crosstalk 00:05:57] on here. Feel like we're getting delayed [crosstalk 00:06:00] again, we're delayed. Kat: We're not delayed. The internet just doesn't know how to keep up with us, but really you should also always dip your bacon straight into the Vegemite. Pay attention. Look. Patrick: I'm not paying attention to that, it's fucking heresy. Kat: Because salt with bacon. The saltiness, it's like extra salt in it. It's great. Patrick: That's the most disgusting thing. Kat: So yesterday- Patrick: You're so beautiful and then you do such disgusting things to yourself. It's just weird. It's like [crosstalk 00:06:37] weird, it's like- Kat: It's part of my mystique. Patrick: Why did this very creative hot chick just do the nastiest thing. It's like watching a shizer video. Know what shizer is, [crosstalk 00:06:44] the German [crosstalk 00:06:45] Kat: I'm sorry, but thanks. No. No. But I appreciate the compliment. Patrick: No. Have no idea [crosstalk 00:06:51] Kat: But I can't help it, it's part of my mystique. Patrick: That's not mystique, that's not. Kat: But it's actually ... Do I need to know? Patrick: What'd you say? We've got a delay, we've got a delay. Kat: Do I need to know? No I was waiting for you, do I need to know or understand? Patrick: Well you're from Germany, so you should know. It's basically German scat porn basically. You know what scat porn is? Have you ever heard of it? Kat: I don't watch any German porn. Currently I don't watch German porn. I watch regular, all American or Australian porn. Patrick: Well I'm saying that you can know of it, you can know of it. There's different types you know, when you're scrolling through you're going to see some different categories. There's grandma, there's all sorts [crosstalk 00:07:38] of different types. Then there's German shizer, there's scat porn, you just happen to be scrolling by it, see it, sometimes. Kat: So basically what's happened here is we came on to do a recoded conversation about art and resistance and flow and we're talking about German porn? Patrick: Yes. Particularly the scat variety. You invited me on here. Kat: I just like to keep- Patrick: You fucking invited me on here. Kat: I think you said we need to record our conversation. You said I believe ... Thank you. You said I believe it's time to record our conversation again or something like that I believe it is. You messaged me yesterday and then you must have rudely just gone to bed straight after messaging me because I needed help, I was stuck in the resistance, I wrote back to you with a happy faced emoji. Then you must have gone to sleep so I just had to live in the resistance all by myself with nobody to kick my ass. Patrick: Yeah, I saw that, I was like man [crosstalk 00:08:38] Kat: And that's how I ended up with [crosstalk 00:08:39] Patrick: That was a weird thing to wake up to, I was like wow, you were in the, you, Kat of all people in the resistance? Now that's the part usually reserved for me. I'm the one that likes to play in the resistance. Kat: I know, it's mind blowing. The truth is maybe I just don't talk about it enough. It's like quicksand, it was dragging me into it. It was probably a Vegemite deficiency in my bloodstream. There was definitely a flow deficiency in my bloodstream. Patrick: It's all coming to a head you know. It's finally attacking your nervous system. Kat: The Vegemite? Or the flow? Patrick: Yes. Kat: So then okay, so this morning I went to Muay Thai and I was doing my rounds in the ring and I couldn't breathe properly. It's fucking annoying because I'm very fit, but my fitness just wasn't there. He's like, "What's going on?" And I said to him, my trainer, "I think I'm just not connected to my body properly yet." Like I haven't connected into my body yet because my mind's thinking about other stuff and we had already done maybe three or four rounds. I was going hard, but I was just like kind of breathing like that, but I wasn't feeling anxious about anything. So then it was just fucking annoying, but as soon as I, like we got to maybe 30 or 40 minutes into the session even, and then you feel that switch click and you connect to flow and you're just like holy shit, it's on and you're in that dance and that super flow. Kat: It's exactly like business. I was saying to my trainer this morning it's like, you're like, ugh, even I get this, I get it every fucking day. Like people maybe think I'm motivated because I do so much content. Well I'm driven by, I hate the fucking feeling of when I don't do my content. I just feel like shit if I don't do my art, but that doesn't mean that when I sit my ass in the chair that it's flowing. It's often exactly the same as at the start of that workout where the first 10 or 20 or 30 or even 40 minutes, you just feel like you're wading through quicksand. You don't feel connected properly and you're not breathing deeply and then you're thinking, this shit, what am I even writing. Even yesterday after I messaged you then I was like fuck you, apparently you're not going to message me back and save me, so I'm going to have to write something myself and figure it out. [crosstalk 00:11:07] Patrick: [inaudible 00:11:10] all the time. Kat: And I write something, I write a blog anyway, but it was so shit. I posted it anyhow on Facebook, it was just the lamest thing I've ever posted in the history of time. It's still there, everyone can see it from yesterday. Even my team are like, "What is this, is this a blog? Are we supposed to put this on the Instagram story? What is this actually, there's no photo, it's not long enough." No, they weren't really ... But my point is you just got to do that damned thing anyway. You don't wait for flow, you get into flow. Sometimes you've got to get in and it's like a tumultuous, whitewater river and you just got to get pounded under the water again and again and knocked back down. Then at some point it's like boom, I'm in the flow zone. Everyone just wants to be in the flow zone, but you don't get there without being willing to go through the quicksand a bit. Patrick: No, it's funny you mention this now and I glad we're on here talking about this because I actually had exactly what you're talking about happened today, but fortunately ... So, did you ever get back into, did you ever reach flow or did you just spend the whole day just not, you didn't get there? Or did you finally get there? Kat: Yesterday, you know what, I wrote the damn post anyway. I published a post, I put a sales call to action on the end because I fucking show up for my art, that's my commitment. I'm very consistent. I'm probably the most consistent person on the internet with content, I believe. And I'm personally doing all my content myself as well, it's not like you know some people put a tonne of content out there, but how much content are they actually doing. Patrick: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Kat: I think I'm like the most consistent person out there. So I posted the damn post anyway, I had to cut it short because I was meeting somebody and I knew that he was going to be there any minute. I was like all right, I didn't even have the time to get into my flowzone, I had like 12 minutes. I'm like fuck, I'll write something. I still wrote a damn blog, I still put a sales call to action on the end. I was like, this is bullshit, but, I don't know how many likes or comments are on it, but the people who commented and liked it, the people who commented were like, "This is exactly what I needed." And so it's about getting out of your own way, but then after that I went on a walk for like two hours. Had a good conversation and then came home and I still wasn't quite in that flowzone and I thought I could livestream last night and snap myself into it. But I didn't, resistance got me by the ass. I sat around for a bit, fucked around, pretending to do things on the computer and then I just went to bed. Kat: But, this morning, I don't know if you read my blog this morning. It was so good, it might be one the best posts I've written this year. It's called, "You're not a marketer you're an artist. A tortured one or not, and you'd better start fucking acting like it," or something like that. When I wrote that [crosstalk 00:13:55] blog ... Huh? Patrick: I saw it, I usually read your stuff at night on my time, nighttime you know. At the end of my day I'll read it. So you kind of catch me whenever I haven't read it yet. Kat: You're going to like that one. I'm so happy with that. You know when you write something or you do a livestream and you're just like oh, yeah, I fucking nailed it. Or, I didn't even know what I wrote, but I got what I want from it. I got that release and that connection to soul and then I went straight to training to Muay Thai then I was disconnected for 35 minutes. Then I got in the zone and holy shit, the last 15 or 20 minutes of my workout this morning, I have not brutalised myself like that in a while. It was so good, like I was nearly collapsing onto the floor. It's like that voice in your head that's like oh, are you going to die, are you going to die, you think you're going to fall down and die? You can't keep going? Are you dead yet? No, then keep fucking going bitch. I was just smack talking myself and I was so on the edge of being like I need timeout, I need to stop early. Kat: I just kept going and I kept thinking of, like I always remember Arnold Schwarzenegger saying that your body can go so much further than your mind. Like when you think that your body is done, whether it's in training, but also with the business. Your writing, your art, it's such a load of bullshit. I love nothing better than kicking my own ass and being like oh, you think you're hurting, you think this hurts? Keep fucking going. It's the most empowering feeling in the world. I literally collapsed onto the floor in the ring at the end of the session. Within a second though I had the biggest smile on my face already even though I was in agony. Kat: It's just, I don't know, I don't know how many people relate to that, but I love the pain, the purposeful pain. Otherwise, you just feel like you're not alive. So that resistance got me yesterday, but then today I eliminated it. Patrick: Well I know we were talking, the night before I believe, we were talking about how to say enjoy resistance. We were also talking about some of the things that were going on with your spot and where you were living at and things like that. We were talking about being where you were at and that you might have to create new challenges for yourself. You think this is maybe a product of that? Maybe your mind switched over to that, maybe you wanted some more resistance and you brought that to yourself? Kat: Maybe, that's a good point. Yeah, we had a phone call the other night that went for nearly three hours. At the end we were like fuck, we forgot to record our phone call again, so that we can sell it to everybody. It was so good. So now we- Patrick: It was good. Kat: No we're doing this for everyone. You can send [crosstalk 00:16:38] us a love heart [inaudible 00:16:40] huh? Patrick: Some love hearts to what? Kat: To thank us for being here and speaking. Patrick: Oh yeah, for sure. Check this out though, so we talked about that right and then so now that was happening, this resistance was happening. Now I've been like, the resistance is easing up on me. I've been going through fucking resistance because I'm a glutton for punishment. I don't know what do they call it, sadistic? No, it was masochist, what's the one where you like to get kicked in the balls? Kat: Isn't one of them like means you like to hurt other people and one means you like to hurt yourself? Masochist is you like self punishment I think. Patrick: Yeah, I think that's the one. Kat: And sadist is you like to hurt other people. Patrick: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, one of those two, the one where you get kicked in the balls. Obviously that's what I'm going through right now, I like to kick myself in the balls here. I've been going through that resistance, what we talked about on the phone. Maybe I want to, obviously yes, of course, why the fuck, how could it be any other way? How could it be any other way? Anything that you're going through, any resistance that you have in your life is because you want it to be there. Plain and simple. There's no other way around it, if you take responsibility for everything in your life as you should, as you should. If you believe in manifestation, if you believe it's all in your control. If you fucking believe in manifestation, [inaudible 00:18:03] you can alter your body by eating donuts or ramen noodle soups and still lose weight. If you believe that you have that [crosstalk 00:18:12] kind of control- Kat: Who said anything about donuts? Patrick: If you believe that you have that kind of control over the universe, then you better damn fucking well believe that you're making this shit up. That you're making up the resistance, you're creating the resistance. You're creating the despair, the feeling, the thoughts or the anguish. All that shit you want to, you fucking masochist you. You want the kick in the balls for some reason. Patrick: Okay, well I'm tired of the kick in the balls I guess. I must be done with it because today, so and then we're talking about now we're talking about my day. What's up Johnny? What's up Pistol Pete. Then we're talking about, now it's kind of easing up on me right. I woke up this morning and I saw your message, I'm like damn, I left her in the cooker last night. She's just, it's like I can't believe I saw this message of resistance here. I'm like, I was blown away by it you know, but I knew you were asleep, so obviously went about my day. Patrick: I started out my day just like you're talking about. I couldn't get into where I was trying to go. I was getting wrapped up and started right out the gate getting into shit that's not my art. Started getting into stuff pertaining to my other business, which I had put a cutoff date. We had just got done talking about that, saying fuck everything until noon or whatever, you know, until we get going. Right off the bat I start getting things happening though that were saying to me that some resistance was being overcome in the other business. So I was like huh, so I took the bait you know. I took the bait. Patrick: Not only that, last night I had found a blog post that I had written and I had never posted it. I got scared about it and I didn't post it. I was acting like a little bitch and I left it there. And so I discovered it and I was like fuck, I had already wrote a blog post that night. So, I had two blog posts and so I was happy about that, I'm like okay, I've got two. I'm going to drop those tomorrow. So I'm feeling good about that. I went to sleep and I woke up and immediately some things started happening at the other business, some resistance was overcoming the other business. I'm like fuck, okay, okay we're making some headway here so this is good. I jump right in this, it's like 8:00 in the morning, I jump right into that and start going to mess with my other business. Patrick: I get caught up with all that and next thing you know 12:00 comes around. I'm slugging, but I had been throughout the day doing tiny things because I'd been, I'm going to post content all day. Today, I'm just going to have a day where I post all content. You know on my Instagram, I'm going to post content throughout the day on my Facebook, I'm going to post whatever. I had just been starting to feel it again. Started to post things and they were getting a lot of engagement on them you know, just things that I would think, I'd post it and just small things you know, not real boring blog posts. Patrick: Then I drop my blog post on there, sprinkle that because I had that ace up my sleeve, so I drop the blog post, bam. I drop the other blog post, bam. Then it just started to come together, right. Then we rolled right into, right about 12:00 noon or so I took a little nap and then 1:00 PM and then the resistance just started to go down. All just starts to crumble right? Kat: Yeah. Patrick: Everything starts going right. I just start banging out all sorts of stuff. Me and Travis ended up doing, we just got done off of a livestream, which generated a lot of new people into our circle and to his audience. I'm jumping on here with you and now this is going, this is a great one right, so just like all the ones that we do. And so, it just started rolling, that's been my day. It just started rolling, and it started out just like you talked about though. It's very sluggish, but it took me till about 1:00 PM till it just started to roll really good, but I stuck with it. I stuck with it, I just kept on thinking I've posted, but it was like bite sized pieces of content that I kept dropping that led up to it. Kat: Yup. Exactly. Exactly and we talked about this when we were on the phone the other night that was like until 2:00 AM my time, that massive phone call. I said the same thing about when you're working out and it's like the first 10 or 20 minutes or however long, you just feel like fuck this shit. I don't really want to be here, I'm not feeling it. That was me this morning in the ring, I was like oh, fuck. Okay, yeah, I'm here, I'm doing what I need to be doing, but my mind was like why am I here. I'm not really vibing with this and I wish I didn't come today or whatever. You just fucking learn over the years, you figure it out finally when time is passing you by in your life and then you still didn't do the damn shit that you said you were going to do. At some point you just figure the shit out where you're like, oh fuck. Kat: I can remember, probably five years ago I can remember feeling like I think I was waiting, I thought there would be a point in my life where I would evolve to being a person whose always motivated and always ready, always has the inspired ideas and wants to do the damn thing. I remember one day it just kind of smacked me in the face like a wake-up call where I was like, oh shit, I just realised that for the rest of my life I will still battle resistance because it's part of the human condition. Particularly as an artist, resistance is inherent to being an artist, that's why I wrote this morning about the tortured soul. Probably your blog influenced my post this morning a little bit because you know, like I told you, when I got up in the morning before I journal I always read something. There's only like five people whose shit I'll read and I checked if you posted something new. I checked, you had posted something new so I read your blog and it was full-on. For me I found that full-on to read to hear the voices inside of your head. I was like holy shit that was so raw, it was like everybody should go read that blog. It's on your personal profile right? Patrick: Appreciate it. Kat: Go read it. But it was kind of painful to read, I found it kind of painful to read. Patrick: That's so funny you said that, [crosstalk 00:24:31] somebody messaged me, two people messaged me and they said the exact fucking same thing. They said, "I can't believe that shit. I did not know you wrote like that," and they said that it was painful. I said, "Well, what's painful about it?" It was like, "Well, it's painful to read." Two women you know, so I was wondering why is it painful for you to read it, you know what I mean? That's what I was wondering because I really was thinking about connecting with guys for it you know, more along the lines with the guys. Kat: Well, for me personally I found it painful to read because I care about you. I was like, that's like hearing somebody that you care about saying that shit about themselves, it's like fuck, it just felt painful for me for that reason. I don't know about what other people's reasons are, but also because I could relate to it. At first, I was thinking this so fucking full-on I can't believe you say that shit inside of your head, I found it shocking. Kat: Then I was like wait, why do I find it shocking, it's only shocking because you're writing it down because I've said all that same sort of shit to myself many times over as well. In my way, about my own stuff and if people heard the voices inside my head I'm sure they'd be shocked. Like you were taken aback even by me just simply saying that I'm in resistance, right? Now think about the shit that you put in that blog, it was extreme. Well I think that's why at first I was like, this is so full-on, like I felt shocked or upset about it just relevant to you personally, not in a general sense. Then I was like wait, no, it's just because this is a very raw, extreme thing for somebody to write down. I definitely have said so much to inside of my own head. Kat: Then I loved the way you finished the post like where basically you choose each day, every day you have those voices in your head and then you have the voice that's saying that you can and that you will. Then that is now what you do, you do your damn journaling, you do your content, you're showing up for your business and for your art. That's exactly the same as me and that's what I've always done and that's what I've done to get to this point. Now, for sure I don't have as much of those voices as I used to, it is less because I guess I've proven myself, to myself to whatever degree. Kat: But it's still here and that's what I think so many people don't understand about me. I'm not, or about anyone, about you as well, you do your livestreams every day, I do my content every day. People then go, oh no well I couldn't be like Patrick or I couldn't be like Kat. They're motivated, they're good on camera or whatever it is, but then go and read what you wrote about how you feel about yourself some of the time. Or if somebody could hear inside of my head and the smack talk that goes on in there. It's about realising that yeah, as you keep going and as time passes it will get easier, and I think you said this in your post, it gets easier because you learn how to deal with it. I feel like I learned how to dance with resistance and I can see it for the bullshit that it is, whereas maybe earlier on in my life I tended to believe it more. Kat: Now even if I feel like I'm believing it a little bit, I'll be like, yeah, no, I know exactly what's going on here. I do know what the answer is because fucking 20 years of training, of fitness training, has taught me how to get into flow and how to breakthrough resistance and discipline my ass and if you're not dead yet you keep going. Then many, many years in business as well has taught me the same thing, so I always know that the answer is too fucking bad, sit your ass down and do the damn thing. Sometimes it will feel fucking incredible, like today when I wrote my blog I was on the biggest high. I got in the car and I was just slamming my best tunes and then driving down to the fight gym. I was like, this is the best day ever, I'm so in the zone and that's an amazing feeling. Kat: I wish I could have that feeling every day, but yesterday felt like quicksand day. It doesn't matter right, like some days you'll feel superflow, some days you won't, so the fuck what. Either way you keep going, but for sure because I read your blog first and then normally I read a piece, I read if you write something or [inaudible 00:28:44] or whoever else I read, like such a small handful of people. Then I go into my journaling and then usually I write my blog after that. Today I read your blog first and then it really did impact me a lot, then I went straight into writing my blog, I didn't even do anything on [crosstalk 00:29:00] yet today, which is [crosstalk 00:29:01] Patrick: Damn, did my blog fuck your day up? Did my blog fuck your day up? Kat: No, no, it's the opposite because I had to write straight after that. Patrick: Oh, that's good. Kat: I went straight into writing that piece, but I was partly responding to you and partly I was thinking about one of my inner circle clients and partly it was for myself. Okay wait, we're going to need to start again because Brandon just jumped on and he asked that we start again. So where we started [crosstalk 00:29:26]- Patrick: I believe we started without him. Kat: Was with me dipping the bacon into the Vegemite. We got to start with the bacon and the Vegemite if we're starting from the top. Patrick: Can we please not? Kat: Anyway- Patrick: Brandon dammit, this was a bad day for that. Even though you're eating [crosstalk 00:29:39] Kat: Yeah, no, [crosstalk 00:29:40] read my blog later you'll see my blog was partly like it's speaking to you and like I was talking to you, but then I was talking to myself, but then I was talking to one of my clients and I told her that. It was just, I kind of love that because something you wrote definitely impacted what I created and what I created will be impacting other people. It's just amazing, it's the collective unconscious. Patrick: Well I saw your blog post and it jumped out at me. I was like this is something that I have to read, I just saw the title and I can't remember exactly what it said. I just saw it and I was like, I'm going to have to read that later on because I immediately saw it and I was feeling like, I don't know it was kind of geared towards me or something. The words weren't like that, but I just felt that, you know what I mean? Kat: Yeah, and I knew, usually I don't tell somebody if I write a blog that's skewed towards them because I know you're going to feel it anyway. It's not always, but often I'll be thinking of a particular person when I'm writing. It started off towards you and then it became about me. I thought it was going to be, I thought the post was going to be about honouring and respecting the artist, being like my soul recognises the artist in your soul, that sort of thing. Like the respect that I have for that and then it turned into kind of like a smack down post where I was kicking ass and I think that was at myself. Then at the end I was like fuck, this was not supposed to be about me. Then I brought it back around again and it just came out however it came out. Patrick: Oh see everything that I read, I'm like thinking, everything I read from you I'm thinking this is to me right. Kat: Everybody does, especially when I do, I don't know do you get this sometimes or have you had this happen, but if I do a post that's really quite brutal I'll tend to get like 20 people message me and they'll be like, "I know you were talking about me." And I'm like, "Well, if you think that I was, then maybe I was." Patrick: That could be the case, but I used to think that all the time when I worked for Ryan. I would always say and he'd said if you think, he said the same thing. If you think it is, it is. So, you're right, it's right, in the case if you think it is, it is, right. It's for you, it's for you if you are triggered by the wording. But I wrote mine like a while back and then I didn't feel anything about posting it. When I found it I was like, yes, I found it. I was like I'm going to post this now, no problem. I remember what you told me, it was like you should just not even think about it and just post it. So I posted it and it was apparently like real full-on, people said that. Patrick: I think that you do, like what I did was I was sitting there facing resistance big time whenever I started to write that. I was facing one of the biggest challenges of my life, which was making our first sale since we went out on our own, and it wasn't happening. It was taking like two weeks, I mean we were in this thing for like two weeks, damn near a month. I was sitting there, and I'm sure I had probably talked to you the night before, something like that. I was writing, I started to write the beginning of it you know, just to start thinking about what kind of shit you say to yourself whenever, or the kind of shit that people say to themselves whenever they're facing that. I really wanted to know, I started thinking about the things that I was thinking at the time. Patrick: Then I was like, well this is bullshit because this is right around when the shit broke and we made ourselves and everything started to work out for the better. That was when I was really, really getting into it and getting into manifesting and writing and controlling it you know. Right before it happened I just said, I'm just going to take all these things that are being said and I'm just going to go with it. As much as I can I'm just going to just get it all out there. Everything that I hear on the stream of thought, I'm going to just write it down as I go. Patrick: And so, I did, I just started fucking like turned on some music and I just started. Every one of the resistant thoughts that came through, I just typed as it was coming. I was like this is some fucking creative ass ways to talk shit to myself, you know, of this voice in my head that's talking this shit. Just so creative and the ways it says, the lies it says about you. I just put it down and it was just endless and relentless and didn't stop. I just had to stop it myself you know. It would have just kept going. Kat: It was relentless. That's how, like I was reading it, I was sitting down at the coffee shop. I was like how fucking long is this going for? It's just getting worse and worse, but that's why it was painful, I was like fuck me, I thought it would be finished now, it's still going? Then I was thinking, I hope there's going to be a reframe at the end of this and it's not just going to finish. And then there was. Patrick: The end. Your life is horrible. But I got it [crosstalk 00:35:01] it was like an experiment to just fucking just see if it would stop you know, but it wouldn't. I had to stop it myself which I guess you could say something about that. You have to stop that fucking voice yourself. It's not going to stop on its own. You have to stop it because [crosstalk 00:35:21] it's there if you want- Kat: You have to see it for what it is. Patrick: Yeah. Kat: You've got [crosstalk 00:35:25] to see it for what it is. Yeah, it's the devil. We were talking about this on the phone the other night. It's a seduction right? Patrick: Yes it is. Kat: Did you read Patrick's post Maria? It's like be prepared to be upset. If anyone reads that post, just be prepared to be upset, but it will be powerful for you. I think that we all think that we're the only ones who have those thoughts. It's natural to feel like if people knew the truth about me, or if people, like I should feel ashamed of myself or whatever. Everybody has those thoughts and then everyone looks at ... Yes, so Maria read your post, she's one of my inner circle clients, she said she was in tears. Exactly, I think for women in particular it's going to upset them. I thought it upset me because I had a personal interest, but I think it probably upsets everyone. Kat: It was very upsetting because it was so raw, but it's also incredibly healing. That's the sort of blog post that will heal people and probably healed you maybe when you wrote it or maybe by publishing it because it's so raw. That's the point I was trying to make in my blog this morning ... Where can you find this post, just click on, I'll get the link. I'm so helpful. I'll put the link here in the comments. Like I'm fucking up all my shit now. Kat: It's [crosstalk 00:36:45] like I wrote about this a little bit in my post that you've got to, to impact people, like yesterday I was talking to somebody new who I met about my business. I was explaining how I market, and he's an entrepreneurs as well with four amazing businesses, but a totally opposite sort of entrepreneur to me. We were talking about how the way that I show up on social media is the exact opposite of him. I put as much of myself out there as possible, and he's got as little of himself out there as possible. I was saying my system basically, my marketing is essentially I'll write these three thousand word blog posts every single day. The people who can get to the end of that and watch all my content are clearly, they're my soulmate clients or they wouldn't be sticking around that much. He was like- Patrick: I like that system. Kat: Holy shit, big long posts [inaudible 00:37:34] right, but he goes ... Oh yeah there's the blog. He goes, "Yeah, but that wouldn't work anymore would it," or something, or, "That's because you already built that up or something like that?" I'm was like, "No, no, it doesn't matter how crowded the internet is or how crowded Facebook is there is always going to be a space for the true artist to bear their soul." Like since the dawn of time, those of us who are storytellers, messengers and who actually reveal the raw shit inside of us, like what you wrote, was the painful, gritty, even ugly parts of the soul. It's almost like you don't want to look at it directly, it's like staring into the sun. It's too much, it's too intense, it feels too painful. Then at the same time it's magnetising and you can't look away. Kat: So somebody who can share a piece of their soul like that, like you do and like I do and like many people here do, really are very few people though in the total of the internet marketing world. That person doesn't fucking need to buy their followers like you livestreamed about yesterday and we talked about the other night. Or to worry about a fucking funnel or what's the best strategy or Facebook ads. Nothing wrong with doing your funnels and your whatever right, but it's the cherry on top. Anybody who can release a piece of their soul and is brave enough or willing to do that, will always have people that want to listen because it is a magnet. Kat: It's just mind blowing to me how so many amazing artists and messengers are out there wasting their lives thinking that the way to build a following or to make money is let me get my fucking funnel right or my strategy or my marketing for whatever bullshit. And let me have a pretty website on the internet and make sure that I have good head shots. Are you kidding me? Why don't you just strip yourself naked and show it to everybody? Your soul, right? That's all it takes. Patrick: Anybody [crosstalk 00:39:38] can have- Kat: Being willing to do that even in your own resistance. Patrick: And there's a lot of ego out there too. It's like everybody's got one of those, so how do you really separate yourself from everybody else. You know what I mean, everybody's got a marketing strategy, everybody's got a marketing plan. Everybody's got an ego, so how do you get that ... I get to talk to people today, I got to talk to somebody because of my blog post. One of my people, one of my people, as I call them true believers. He was going through some serious shit in his life, like some real, real horrifying shit that he told me about that I got to help him through, today. So to me to be able to help in such a way to change somebody's life, to save a life is, fuck, that's more important to me than the other shit. Patrick: The other shit's stupid and I wouldn't get that far with somebody if I didn't post something like I did, if I didn't say what I was really feeling I wouldn't get to say that. It wouldn't probably connect like that on that level with him. That to me is more rewarding than anything else I could be doing. Even if I have to take, for a while, you know it's going to be a while. I could go out here and make a marketing webinar and be very successful with it and make money off of it you know. I could do that. Kat: Successful. Patrick: Yeah, successful. Run traffic to it and do all ... I know how to do all that, I've done it. Or a book funnel or whatever you want to do. Whatever you want to do to make money. Give somebody an irresistible offer, tell them how to double or triple their income, whatever you want to do. That's fine, but understand that anybody can fucking do that. Anybody can do that. If you hold back, if you don't say what's on your mind, if you don't actually share a piece of yourself, then you're not really like an artist I don't think. You know? Then you're just giving people- Kat: You're not and you have to decide [crosstalk 00:41:46] if you want to be an artist first or a marketer first. Like, you're an amazing marketer, I know a lot about marketing as well. We can both do all that shit. I don't even think anybody can do it, it is still a skillset because plenty of people are trying to fucking do it and they're not doing anything, they're not getting anywhere with it. Kat: I did read a blog post one time by a mentor of mine from years back and she was like you got to choose, you're either an artist of an entrepreneur, who are you? I was like holy shit, she's right, I'm an artist first. I am an entrepreneur, I am a marketer, I where those hats and I've been an entrepreneur, like it's in my blood, I've been selling shit since I was three years old. But first and foremost I'm an artist. You've got to choose, you can't be in both camps. You can't be like, oh I'm an artist and I share from my soul and I do my soul purpose, but first let me build this pretty little funnel over here and then I'll be ready. It's bullshit. Kat: Nobody said you need that you needed the internet to get your message out there and to make money. Amazingly enough artist through the history of time have managed to have people fall in love with them without a Facebook page. I know it's mind blowing for everybody and you might need therapy [inaudible 00:42:57] and some sexual healing in order to come to terms with that, but you don't need any of that shit in order to get your message out there. What you do need is to be courageous enough to put the blinders on and just art, art, art, art, art because like we said, you have a true believer client as you call them, I call them my soulmate clients, who comes to you as a result of that post. That person is so connected to you now, there's instant trust, instant deep rapport, they become a longterm client who refer their friends and just be so in love with you and your message because they see themselves in you. Kat: Most people, you could do an automated webinar and get leads from that, like you said. You could become successful and I say successful like that because even if you were making great money doing that, which of course you could do and you know how to do. You would be, and we've talked about this many times, you would be miserable. You would be hating it, your soul would be dying because it wouldn't be doing your purpose work and you're essentially selling your soul to the wrong clients, the wrong people doing the shit that doesn't light you up. Kat: Whereas, when you go all in with your art yeah, like most people are going to be horrified at the idea of reading a daily two or three thousand word blog post or listening to a one hour livestream that you do. They're going to think that's crazy, who wants to listen to that. I've had people make fun of me so many times when I've had hater-ship online. Like, "Oh ha ha, who would read all that shit?" I'm like, "Well firstly I don't fucking care if anybody reads it because I'm writing it for me bitch, not for you. Secondly, clearly a few people are fricking reading it if you look at the business that I've created." Kat: So if somebody is going to read that or watch your webstream or read your post, then they come to you and talk to you, that person is a soulmate client for life. I'd rather 10 people like that than a 100,000 people that are fucking bored on Instagram or got off a webinar. Patrick: Well there going to fall off, those people are going to like, what people realise is how much of this bullshit that's out there that's the same. People don't show you their refunds, people don't show you their attrition rates. People are dropping off. They don't show you that shit. They don't show you that shit. All they'll show you is- Kat: Yeah, so true. So true and we talked about that the other night as well. Like my refund rate is like 0.000001%. I'll get like three refunds a year and two of them is because the person accidentally bought the same product twice. They're like shit, I didn't realise I already have it, can you refund me? Patrick: And I haven't had that one- Kat: That's not normal, what's the industry rate even? It's like- Patrick: It's crazy, it's like 30. Kat: 40 or 50% some of the time. Patrick: Yeah. Yeah, it's insane. Then people don't say that and then they don't say, they don't talk about you know, affiliates and things like that that they're doing. So numbers are fucking crazy you know what I mean? You can't even get into numbers there's so much bullshit out there. There's so much bullshit out there that you might as well just be truthful and honest and just put yourself out there. I get on here and I've got now these few people that come on, I mean anything that I do, they follow me around for whatever it is that I do. I did something with Travis today, which we did marketing and I dropped a link out there for our funnels and everything. I thought we're going to pull in these new prospects right and these clients for his side of things, you know his new audience and everybody who showed up was my people. They hopped on to see that we were talking marketing, they showed up, popped up. Kat: They watch you, or my people watch me instead of Netflix. My people say that all the time, they're like, "I can't believe what time it is and I'm still watching your content." That's all you want, but it's also like what we're saying here is your going to get a better result just following your art and making your marketing strategy should be your art. Then let's not forget also the selling of the soul side of it because even if it was true that you could make more money, which I do not believe, by following straight up internet marketing Stepford-preneurship you would be miserable, in sabotage, addicted to whatever shit that's not good instead of addicted to flow. And just not happy right? Kat: I did it that way, I built my business at first to where it was nearly at a million dollars a year because I did the fucking work and I did the marketing. I was right on the cusp of a million dollars a year in my business. This was in 2012, and I walked away. I shut the whole thing down, I walked away from all of it. I remember saying to my partner at the time, if this is the path to a million dollar business, I don't want it. I cannot do this anymore, I would rather go back to being a personal trainer. I said to him, "I'm going to give myself three months, give me three months. I'm going to prove that I can make money doing what I love, but fuck all that shit, I'm going all in doing what I want. If I don't do it in three months then I'll just go back to the gym and I'll be a trainer again because I know how to make a lot of money doing that." Kat: Well, I didn't do it in three months anyway, I ended up over $100,000 in debt and blew the whole thing up. Then eventually, eventually, I stayed though, I stuck to it and now look where I am because I've experienced what it's like to make good money by selling my soul. I mean, it's your life right, you want to be, this is like right now we're not really selling anything, but this is content. This is us filling ourselves up with our art and our craft. Even though we're not directly making an offer, how many people are becoming soulmate clients or true believer clients of each of us right now because of this content. Then we drop a link or we keep saying we're going to start recoding our personal phone calls and sell them. People are going to fucking buy that shit, like who wants to buy the recorded phone calls of when we talk to two or three hours- Patrick: I do. Kat: Because that shits gold, but sometimes we've got to keep it private. But, we'll figure it out. Patrick: Yeah, we got to keep some things private, a little bit, a little bit. Those are like extreme, super, super VIP shit. But Helen makes a good point, Helen's asking a good question here though, she says, "I get what you're saying," but she's surrounded by true artists putting themselves out there every day and never make any money, what would you say about that? Kat: Okay. Okay. Good, I'm so glad I asked this. Patrick: I like that one, yeah. Kat: I was ready to preach on this. I'm going to need a love heart shout-out first, send me the love hearts. Then I'll bring the [crosstalk 00:49:37] Kat show. Patrick: Can I do it to? [crosstalk 00:49:37] Kat: Can you do it too? Everybody shower me with the love heart. Oh there they come, thank you. Patrick: Shower. Kat: All right. I already answered these same questions to two or three clients earlier today when I was answering my client audios, so I'm prepared and I'm ready. Here's the thing right, money, money is just a decision and a choice right? Like yesterday I bought a new car, I'm also getting a new house and a few other things all at once. It is a big deal, I'm excited to get the car, I feel good about it. Yeah, there's some ego attached to it for sure because I feel like yeah, look at my badass car, but at the same time I don't need that in order to be happy or fulfilled right, I'm detached from it. When they didn't give me exactly what I wanted at the dealership I just left. I wasn't doing that as a strategy, I was like okay, I'm not attached, this is what I want, if you can't give it to me I'm leaving. I got in the car and drove away and of course, they called me eight minutes later and gave me what I wanted. Patrick: Sorry guys. Kat: Either way I [crosstalk 00:50:40] Patrick: I used to be one. Kat: But, yeah, you know how it works. I [inaudible 00:50:45] I'm leaving. And I literally was about to sign and then I just put the pen down, I'm like look I've got to go. I'm going to go see the house, I left. What I'm trying to say though is, I don't need the car, I'm not emotionally attached to the car in order to feel good enough, in order to feel worthy, in order to feel like I'm now complete and whole. The thing that fills you up and lights you up and gives you your sense of freedom and completeness and your happiness, your source of all things is being true to yourself and doing your art right? So then for the money, to me the car is the same sort of thing, whether it's a car, whether it's do I want to buy the fancy Voss water, whatever it is. It's just a decision, so I can choose the car or not choose the car, either way I'm whole and I'm complete, but am I going to choose the car, yeah it's fucking badass, it's a hot, sexy car. I'm going to choose the car because I like it and I can have it. Kat: Same as with money. Get out of the idea that there needs to be an emotional attachment around money, it's only money. Choose it or don't choose it, it's infinitely available. Like you can choose am I going to wear pants or a skirt today, it doesn't matter, why get emotionally attached to it, but it's always available. That's how I feel about money. One of the courses a I made in 2014 when I first figured this out for myself was called, "It's only money honey." I called the course, "It's only money honey," one of the best courses I've ever made, because it was like a slap in the face wake up call where I suddenly realised, fuck, I've been making it this really emotional thing. Like am I good enough for money, am I worthy for money. Imagine we did this right, like am I good enough for the Voss water, am I worthy of this, what are people going to think of me? Does this add to my value if I have this amazing water? Either just pick it up off the shelf or don't. It doesn't matter. Kat: And so that was like a breakthrough for me to go oh shit, money is just a decision, decide how much you want. Expect it the same way if you're in a restaurant and you put your order in, you know I'll have a steak and broccoli, you expect it, you assume it's going to turn up. You don't go into the kitchen and be like, am I good enough for this? Do you guys think I'm worthy of the steak, can I really have that? Is it being prepared and will I get it? You just order your fucking meal and then you sit down and you wait for it and you expect that it's going to show up. Then meanwhile you're in the now, being present with whoever you're with. Kat: Same with money, decide it. It's a decision. When you get out of the emotional attachment around money being a reflection of your worth or being something that's going to save you, then you'll realise that it's just something you decide. But you fret now, you think that money would make you more worthy or it's going to save you or it will fill you up or it will make you happy. Or you'll be, yeah, safer in some way or a better person in some way. Then you'll continue to keep it at arm's length because you're trying to validate yourself and you're trying to find your safety and security from something outside of you, which is not possible. Kat: The lesson is you need to decide ... Did I just get invited to go to a cruise? Somebody's just invited me to go on their birthday cruise and I don't even know this person. I'm just magnetic as fuck. Patrick: It's your most active follower it looks like. Kat: I don't even know who that is. Hi, [Taveda 00:54:01] I can't, I can't go. I've got something on, but thank you. Kat: So, yeah, it's about realising it's a decision. If artists are out there and they're broke, maybe they're buying into the broke artist story, but maybe, maybe, and probably, they're in some way basing their self-worth on their financial situation and/or thinking to themselves that if I just had that money, then I'd be safe. Then I'd be good enough, then I'd be a worthy or a valid person. It's the same as love. You'll never find love when you think oh that person is going to make me feel like then I'm good enough, then I'm worthy, then I'm attractive, then I'm whatever. Kat: You got to figure that shit out right, like otherwise you'll just continue to hold that deep connection at arm's bay. When you realise you've already got everything inside of you and of course you can choose the money because abundance is infinite. Or of course you can choose to receive love because it is available. Or of course you can choose to have the body you want or whatever and you don't need it, well like you can need it and not need it at the same time, we've talked about that. But either way, you already get your completeness inside of yourself. Kat: Does that make sense? Did I just ramble in 49 different directions at once? Patrick: Pretty much, but I'm feeling it, I'm catching it. So, you're saying then somebody who is a starving artist, they're buying into it, which that makes sense to me. There's a lot of things that people out here buy into because that's just what people say. You know, oh you're a starving artist. Oh, you're not going to make any money. That's what they say, but how much of this shit is rooted in fact, it's just something that somebody said. You know, there's a lot of shit like that that's out there, but you have to, you know, you can't cuss if you want to make money online. You know, there's a huge one right- Kat: Really? Fuck, that's rude. Patrick: Yeah, how rude. There's all these things that they say. You have to, what else do they say, you know, you already have to have made this much amount of money before you can make any money online. You can't help anybody unless you've hit this, unless you've achieved these goals. You know, you have to have a book. All sorts of crazy shit that's just not true, but people will buy into. There's so many limitations being sold to everybody out here and they're constantly buying into them. I see what you're saying about that, it makes sense because if they're thinking that I'm an artist and I'm not making money or that I'm just going to be an artist, I'm not making money that's fine because that's just what it is. Patrick: Yet, you're on here, I'm on here and we're doing it. There, you in the back. Kat: I have a question. My question is do you think that sometimes artists/entrepreneurs, that there's ego attached to being the starving artist? Like there's an element of look at me suffer? It's almost like a badge of honour that I'm the starving artist, do you think that sometimes people are toting themselves back to that? Patrick: I'm doing it. I'm doing it. You know you get in this thing where you're like, I mean I've seen people do this too, and I do this, I'm guilty. I like the story okay, I like the story. I could have, I mean I'm sure if I opened myself up for it more and just said that it's going to be super easy and that it's just going to happen and everything's going to come to me. I'm just going to go in the superflow and do what you said and just go all in on this thing and have it happen. It's just going to boom, the doors are wide open. Patrick: When I did my first programme I sold a bunch of my first programme right. For me that was a lot to sell as much as I did. That was not even fully half assing it, that was like 10% of what I could have really done, of me going all in because I'm running like two businesses right now. There's the story that if I just got away from this one thing, it would just go so much fucking easier and everything would just happen you know. Instead, I'm choosing to build the story and now I'm going to be able to have the little ego and look back on this thing and be like, I struggled so hard when is first started out and you can go track it. Patrick: I've got that in my head, that's programmed in my head from something I've learned from somebody else. You know that you got to step your way up. You work your way up if you want to get there, you can't just [inaudible 00:58:29] you got to work your way up. So, I feel [crosstalk 00:58:33] that same way, I get- Kat: It's so interesting because ... Patrick: Go ahead. Kat: No you go ahead. Patrick: No, my train of thought just ... Just took a shit. Kat: Well, here's the truth right. I am proud of myself, I have ego and pride, not, I don't mean I shouldn't have, but there is, for me there is ego attached to I know what I fucking went through to build this business. I do feel maybe a bit superior about the fact that I know full well that most people would not do what I did and that they will not choose to be tough enough. I like feeling like I'm the one who can get knocked down again and again and again and look at me bitches, I'm still getting back up again. It relates a lot to all my fitness stuff and like I always wanted to be the most badass hardcore chick in the gym and I would definitely get triggered if I saw another chick who was training harder than me. Then it would bring me up to speed right, I would then become friends with them. Then it would be like it's on. Kat: In business, I definitely have pride that comes from yeah, I did go through so much fucking shit and I just kept getting up and every time I felt like I was on the floor and I couldn't get up again, it was that thing of are you dead yet though? No, then keep going. I do like it, I get off on it. Patrick: There you go. Kat: You know, you said this earlier on in the call, you said to me what we had spoken about on the phone the other night, about how I said to you I've gotten a little bored because the truth is I had my, I think I told you this, I told my private clients. I'm sure I told you this on the phone, I had my biggest income month ever last month in May. I haven't even published it or anything, well I told my private clients about it and I did a livestream talking about the mindset of that. But it was my biggest income month ever and it was like I feel proud of it. I feel likes that's cool, but did I get a rush from it, did I get an adrenaline kick, no. To be honest, and I know what I'm going to say now is going to make a lot of people want to throw shit at me, if you're going to throw shit I like Guylian Seashell Chocolates or Chanel, you can throw Chanel. Patrick: Or Vegemite. Throw [crosstalk 01:00:52] poo. Kat: But, it's very [crosstalk 01:00:52]. I got that all sorted already. Patrick: Fling a little poo. Kat: I just, it's easy for me to make money online and I mean look, it doesn't mean I can't relate to and resonate with where people are at in their journey and their struggle. It hasn't been that long ago where was over 100K debt, struggling and that went on for a long time. I know how to break through that and that's how I support my clients, but it's not a rush for me to, like even if I do a launch that would make an insane amount of money, I would be like that's awesome, but also, I just expect it. I'm not doing to get an adrenaline rush from it in the same way that if I cook an amazing steak, and I do cook an amazing steak, I'm not going to be like oh my God, I can't believe it, this is the biggest rush ever. I mean of course it tastes fucking amazing, I know how to cook steak. Of course the launch made that much money, I know how to make money online. Kat: What we had spoken about and this relates to what I'm saying here is, well where do I get my rush from now. Where do I get my adrenaline from because I am that person. It wasn't just that I was proud of myself for getting up again and again every time I got knocked down, it's that I do get off on it. I enjoy it, I like being like, you know, put through, I like the pain. I like purposeful pain and I feel so alive. Like the training session which I spoke about, which I did this morning was the hardest I've gone. I had to ease back into it obviously with my training after my surgery, but so today was the hardest that I've gone since then. I was dying and then within a second of it being over, or anytime I felt more knocked around, I'm smiling at the same time. I'm like this is so fucking good, it's fucking amazing. I crave that, I want it. Patrick: And you desire it because at this stage in the game you know that all these rules are bullshit. The fact that you have to, I had only $30 in my account when I started out, to get customers, to get clients, to get your soulmate clients is bullshit. You would be able to attract them without that fucking story. You know? You don't need, that story doesn't [crosstalk 01:03:05] Kat: Totally. Patrick: I don't think it brings people, I don't [crosstalk 01:03:07]- Kat: Right. And I don't even tell my [crosstalk 01:03:09] yeah. Even I told you parts of my story like when we were on the phone the other night and you didn't even know some of it because I just don't talk about it that much. I have and I do if I get interviewed and stuff, but I don't use that for my marketing. I use my art for my marketing. I just use self-expression for my marketing. Like you said, I don't need the fucking story, but what I do need is, I need to feel lit up, alive. Maybe you're right that yesterday I created resistance to knock me around and make me feel shitty so that today I could then create the contrast and today I'm on fire. Kat: There's more to it than that, like I think, yeah, I do think sometimes for people who haven't broken through on money yet. Or if you've experienced this, if you're a person who can make a little money and then you're like, yeah I'm riding high. Then it just disappears again and you crash up and down, I know a lot of people do that. I did that for years, I would make quite a lot of money and then I'd be like, where is it? Why am I broke again? What's happening? I did that roller coaster for years. Kat: I finally cracked that quota, I figured it out and I teach my clients this all the time. Because I was addicted to the ego and the adrenaline of when your back's against the wall and you don't know if you're even going to be able to buy food that day or God forbid even coffee. Then you just, like a magician, you pull a rabbit out of a hat because you're forced to, you're so back against the wall and you're going to lose, then you just make magic. You're smashing through and you create and you save yourself, but actually w

Katrina: Oh. Okay ... That's what I've gotta do ... Invite. Invite, invite, invite, invite ... Do that ... Okay. All right. How do I add you? I'm blind. I can't see anything. It says I can't bring you on the broadcast at this time ... Why? ... Invite friends ... Okay. That's odd. Do you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna restart this, because usually when I do this ... Oh no, hang on. Now it's letting me ... bring ... Katrina: Adding. Hello, everybody. Patrick: What's up? Katrina: What's up? Patrick: I don't know why I've got this thing hanging up here. A devil horn, demonic. What's up? I had to share in my group and on my wall so, rock and roll. Katrina: Okay. Let me turn this up. My sound is super quiet. Katrina: Welcome everybody. We have no idea what we're going to talk about but it's going to be amazing. Patrick: It is always gonna be amazing, always amazing stuff when me and you get on here. Always amazing stuff when you're here, I'm like, damn! Everything I watch I always send people to you and everybody I meet I'm like, "Dude you have not idea. Cat's shit ... it's changed my life more than just anything I've watched, anything I've listened to." Katrina: Thank you. Patrick: I believe in it. I believe in it though. Katrina: It goes both ways. I nearly tagged you in as my favourite live streamer apart from myself. I think you're the only person whose livestream I consistently watch, I'm very sorry to everybody else who's on here who livestream but I'm just going to admit that I'm not a huge content consumer, I have four or five people whose content I'll consistently consume but you're my favourite live streamer. Patrick: Wow, wow. Katrina: There you go. Patrick: Well I'm honoured to hear that and you know what? Are you still in Baldi? Katrina: No, it just looks like I'm in the jungle. Guess where I am? Patrick: Yeah. Katrina: I'm actually at my local shopping mall. I'm a mall rat, I work from the mall. This is just a cool little area. Whoa, shit. I just did my workout. I just got my sweat on, the gym's right there and I just hang out at the mall all day. Patrick: Let me close this door for just a second before it gets too loud. Katrina: Oh where are our comments? Who's saying hello to us? I just realised we're ignoring you guys and we're only talking to ourselves. I haven't said hello to anybody yet. Patrick: Yeah, Ryan in the house. What's up Ryan, what's up Sage, Cody ... Katrina: Hey everybody. I'm dropping all my shit. Brandon you must have not only see first notifications but you must have some kind of alarm that goes off in your house 'cause you're always instantly there supporting and representing. Patrick: He does. I guarantee he does. He's ready to roll too as well. Katrina: He's always ready to go. Patrick: I have some good news as well today, again. I sold my second programme today. Number two. Katrina: Of course you did. Congratulations. That's a virtual hug. Patrick: Yeah, virtual hug. Get that out the way quickly. Katrina: There's one for everybody as well. Hugs all around. Hey Mandy, Hey Theo, hey everybody just in. That's awesome. You're just owning that energy space that you need to be in, right? Katrina: I saw something you said the other day. Oh, it was in the post that you did about your first sale and you said how you haven't done any funnels yet or any advertising yet or anything like that. It's all been mindset, you went all in on mindset which obviously is something that I was really excited to read. Patrick: Yeah I did and it's one of those things you know? It's something I just want to stick to 'cause I got all the other things down. I can do all the other things. I can do funnel. I already know that that's something easy. Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: But I wanted to do my take, cause I know that's just a winner. I can help people out. Much more so with that, it's a bigger fundamental change they can make in their life. Anybody can run Facebook Ads. You can get on YouTube and learn how to build a funnel. Doesn't matter. Build your shit with work press and work with word press everyday, no problem. Katrina: So [crosstalk 00:05:24]. Me? Patrick: What's that? Katrina: Did you say I know nothing about funnels? Patrick: Well I mean ... when I talk to you, you don't really concern yourself with funnels, I like that. It's such a fad type deal. Katrina: I do. I run a programme for my community of funnels cause I was like I know everyone wants to know about it. And yes there are some things we could say about it, but largely my team taught the programme for me. And I just came on like a rock star and did the mind set side of funnels. Cause even when I talk about what should be in a funnel. What I talked about was creating the experience. When people come in to your community. Think about the first seven days and what is the experience you want people to have being apart of your community. You don't want them to fee like they joined another email list. Yay. It should be like, holy shit, what is this bad ass community? Katrina: What's up John? What's up Linda? Linda. Hello. Patrick: Who can you be apart of? Which can segway into my community and what we're talking about today ... cause mine is ... obviously yours is, yours is daily kick ass read for fucken leaders, but you have mostly women. By the way, the person who bought the programme today is a woman. I think she's one of your tribe actually. Katrina: Oh cool. Patrick: Yeah it'd be kind of wild to see how it plays out. But my view is Entrepreneurs Player Club. So it's for men. It's a men's community for men who wanted it all. Who want to take it to the next level no matter what it is in life. They wanna level all the way up. And so it's ... that's the experience I'm providing. You know what I mean? Katrina: Yeah. Patrick: Both have that aspect. So talking relationships I'm sure y'all do that. They were talking about relationships. They were asking about men and women communications on your streams? Katrina: It's ... not on the live stream more on the client groups and then friendships conversations as well. In fact, Linda and I were talking about this last night. Linda's one of my besties on the live stream, she's staying at my house at the moment, she might even be at my house right now. And we were talking about it and we were having some laughs about a few things ... just common thins women do that should be made into viral videos. Ways that women analyse and obsess things that men say, for example. So we were cracking up laughing at things we know we do that are really silly. Katrina: But yet, we still feel like it's a real true thing. But I have this conversation with clients all the time. Not ... I'm gonna say it doesn't happen ... Linda is my wife this week. I already had two marriage offers this week, no this is the third one. Callie Remy's offered to marry me, she's always offering to marry me. She gets very upset when she thinks that anybody else might get in there. Now Linda's offered as well ... it's fine ... I'm fine with what's the word? Polyamory. Katrina: I don't think the relationship conversation happen as much in the daily asking crew as they might. Because it is men and women in there.- Patrick: Yeah.- Katrina: So maybe people don't put themselves out there quit as much. But it happens more in my inner circle client group. We do a weekly hot seat masterminds live stream. So for all my private clients, and I would say ... 30 to 40 percent of the conversation is to do with relationships. Then also on my private clients box me everyday and they just audio update me with their questions or what's going on. Probably 30 to 40 percent what my clients ask me about is their relationship stuff. And only 30 percent is business and the rest is whatever to do with labs. Katrina: So, I noticed how when you talk about Entrepreneur Club, you say it's for male entrepreneurs but you say it's about up levelling in every are of life. How relationship all of that. And that's definitely what I feel like I do with my clients as well. That they are all entrepreneurs of some kind. They're coming wanting to up level their business, make more money. But it's actually about creating your whole life purposely. So that's where a lot of the conversations come from. Katrina: But I thought it would be a good topic because I'm not ... firstly I find it a little bit funny that my clients continually ask me for relationship advice cause I'm not an expert on this. Like I can read your ... if they tell me something they said or did or this happened with a guy and what do you think? I'm like ... I'm still learning and growing in this area as well as all areas ... but probably this area more than others I would say, at the moment. So it's not like I'm a certified expert. But, here's my thoughts so here's my feelings. But then when I try and give clients supportive feedback ... and same when I have conversations with friends about something that's happened with a guy in their life. I'm like but I don't really know the male perspective. I only know certain things that I've learned and studied. Katrina: You and I were talking about this last week on the phone. About how I've spent a lot of time over the last year or year and a half trying to understand male/female dynamics. And learning and up levelling in that, so I feel like I understand so much more than I would have 18 months ago. But still I'm like I don't know. I keep forgetting ... and this is what I wanted to talk about with you ... I keep forgetting that men don't think like women do right? Patrick: Yeah.- Katrina: There's a certain way that women think and that we approach things. And rules of behaviour that are just automatic for women. And I think that we as women, are prayed in the same way. So then if a man doesn't communicate in a way that we would, we instantly assume they're upset at us or they're annoyed at us, or that they're not interested or whatever it might be. Instead of just being like, men think this way in this situation and women think this way. Does that make any sense? Patrick: Yeah for sure. It's a communication thing. It's like, I know several people that are trying to figure this out. One of the main things is people wanna know is how they communicate better across the genders ... male and female ... try to figure that out and crack the code. I know a guy who's working on it. It's actually his life goal is to figure this out and he thinks that whenever he has figured this out, he'll have solved it and be rich beyond his wildest dreams. Patrick: Everybody, I think, is actively trying to figure it out. I hear this sometimes in my group. I asked the group to find out what they're looking for and what they want in the next ... what they want ... need frame or value on for the next thing that I drop. Patrick: They do quite frequently ask about relationship issues, it's like all across the board. But what I've figured out is that it is always a communication issue. On the aspect is, they always have a communication issue or problem. And so, what I've actually learned recently and through training ... cause I actually looked in to this stuff ... and I've always been trying to figure this out better. It hasn't been always at the top of the list of what I wanted to do. Like I was more concerned about business and opportunities. Patrick: Now later I'm trying to learn more about this. So the best thing that I've learned to do. And I've learned that works the best ... this is so cliché ... but it's just so fucken simple right? It's just being 100 percent honest about every fucekn thing. Like no matter what people just fear rejection.- Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: That's one of the most basic things, humans don't want to deal with. They don't want to deal with rejection. So they're going to put a mask on, they're going to alter the things that they say and change the things they say. And not be generally honest person. But I think it works out ... this thing is shaking like crazy ... you gave me this thing, I don't know what the hell is going wrong with it.- Katrina: The tri-pod. Sometimes of gets loose and the top and you've got to tighten that little wheel. Patrick: Yeah, how the hell do you tighten the wheel? Oh there we go. Katrina: You hold the other and then you move just the wheel bit. Patrick: There it goes. Katrina: That took me like six months to master. It used to drive me insane. Patrick: It was just bobbing around. Katrina: Hello. Patrick: Hey there we go. Being 100 percent honest, so cliché, but its what people don't fucken do. Katrina: But what if we just said what we think right? What if every time we communicated what I'm actually thinking or feeling, and maybe it is actually scary sometimes to say that or confront it. Okay. Fricken take a deep breathe and give yourself a slap on the cheek and say it anyway. Because it's never gonna serve you to hide your truth. Not in this era, not gonna serve you in this obviously. Patrick: By you saying this, and what you do and what you talk about in every other business and aspect is the key. So should come to you with relationship advice, they should come to your with communication advice. This is the thing that works the best. Katrina: Okay. Can everybody just note that Patrick said I'm an expert on relationship and now I'm gonna do a course on it. You heard it here. Patrick: There you go. You've been dubbed. Katrina: Of course I'm going the to do a course on it at some point. There's gonna be a course on everything. Your ideas of ... you said the things they want most from you is relationship stuff. It's funny cause I asked that same question yesterday in my group. And the thing that most people said they either want me to talk about backwards ageing or about sex. But then when they gave more detail about what they want about sex. I was like okay I'm not gonna do a tantra course or something. I thought they meant sex, the act of having sex. They meant the sexual energy and manifestation I think through sexual energy is what they meant. So a little bit different but still related. Patrick: Yeah they are. I'd like to get in to see what you have to say about that as well too. You know just now getting into that male to female energy. Because males ... A especially ones that are good at communicating with women. They have a certain amount of female energy. It's a yin and a yang. Katrina: Of course.- Patrick: They have that inside of them. That's me to a certain degree. A lot more male ... a lot more on the male side. But when people notice I have this, they have more female in them. They can communicate better that way. And- Katrina: Were they accessing it? Because they already have the male, they already have the feminine in you. It's whether you're allowing it through or accessing it. Patrick: Right, exactly. So another thing I've also learned as well ... everybody's got problems right? I've got a problem too about myself but, I've got a forward free attitude about things. I'm not scared to die. So some people who communicate better with women, better across the sexes. Some men who do this, are men who are concerned with security. For example, men who don't like to fly or put themselves in positions where they could potentially die. They understand security and that is more attractive to women. And that allows them to communicate better with women. Katrina: Why is that more attractive to women? Explain that. Patrick: Because women are more interested in security, for the most part. I know you're gonna say, "Well I have my own philosophy."- Katrina: Is that your impression of ... Katrina: No, no, no. Was that Katrina right then? Cause it was appalling. It was worse than when you did the accent. Which was a British. Patrick: I was gonna say, I saw the look in your eyes. Katrina: No, no. Calm down. I was confused. If you think back to when we were on the phone last week, I know that I directly said to you was women want to feel stability and security but that has to do with ... to me that has to do with full authenticity with what each person wants and knowing where you stand and knowing what the other persons true desires and hopes are. You know? And what their boundaries or standards are, right? Patrick: Yeah.- Katrina: I feel stable and secure ... as best as you can know what somebody else is thinking ... but if I know what that persons really thinking and wanting. As opposed to marriage doesn't give security, living together doesn't give security, all these things that people think, when I get that in my relationship then I'm safe, then I'm secure. Then I'm set up. Well I've certainly learned that those things are, that's smoke and mirrors. Katrina: I'm not saying you shouldn't have those things if you want those things, but that is not where security or stability is found in a relationship. And there can't be any security or stability if there's not honesty, right? Patrick: Absolutely. Katrina: And real honesty because I feel like most couples out there would say that they're honest with each other. But it's like to a point maybe. Because there's certain areas that are just taboo or consider acceptable. Or if my partner knew that I thought that, or wanted to do that then they would reject me. So it comes back to what you said before, that fear of rejection. Which is just fear of not being accepted for who you are. Patrick: Yeah, exactly.- Katrina: I was confused when you said about the thing about dying, that confused me. Patrick: Well I was pulling something up. I had a conversation and I was talking about this too and it was more of an attraction thing to have ... I do believe the sexes are different on a DNA level, they're different. Patrick: There's things that you guys find attractive about us that are totally fucking different ... totally fucking different than what we find attractive about y'all. You know? And what draws us to you and what we have to maintain. We have to maintain certain things with women to keep a relationship going. If we start acting a certain way, your DNA is gonna tell you, you gotta get the fuck rid of us. If we start changing our behaviour? Katrina: Like what? Patrick: Well for example if we went from attracting you with being more of an alpha male and we got into the relationship we start being more of a beta male. We started letting ourself go, becoming a fat fuck. And not maintaining that same energy and vibe. We weren't congruent with who you're originally interested in. And we started changing our habits and letting things go. Not only would you see not attracted, you would feel a certain thing inside you that I gotta get rid of this mother fucker or just tear him down to get him out of my life. Or a lot of women ...- Katrina: You wouldn't feel safe. If I was in that situation I would feel emotionally unsafe. I would feel like this guys can't decide if he's going right or left in his life, and on a fundamental ... I think you might need to turn your lighting on ... your in the dark. On a fundamental level, from a survival point of view ... some women might be angry at me for saying this but women want men to protect them and take care of them.- Patrick: That's right. Katrina: On some level if come guy can't decide where he's going in the course of this day, then how the fuck is he gonna take care of me or protect me or have my back. That's what I would feel. Even if I didn't assess that in my conscious mind. On a subconscious level that's what I would be feeling. Then you'd feel unsettled, you'd feel destabilised. Then that would turn to resentment and anger at the guy because it would feel like what the fuck I thought that you were there for and I could depend upon you emotionally, if not in other ways. Then all of the sudden the floor just fell out from under me. So at first I'm gonna feel scared and I'm gonna feel upset. And then if it doesn't correct I'm gonna get angry. And then I think men ... women start to get angry and they turn hard and they turn into bitches and they activate their masculine. Katrina: Then if you add to the fact that right now we're largely speaking to of audience of women who are driven, successful women or are already in their masculine in business. So then if you've got a relationship if the man's not being a man and not leading. Then the woman is gonna be so far in her masculine, which is gonna result in all sorts of whacked up shit, weight gain, angry bitch syndrome, or whatever you wanna call it. Katrina: And it becomes this vicious cycle where the guys not becoming more and more in his power and the women is feeling like she's gotta be in the power and be in charge. But she doesn't want to do that ... maybe some women say they want to be the boos in the relationship ... not the women I know though ... I know women are out there who are like fuck men, but I feel like those women don't feel that at their core. It's just how they've learned to protect themselves.- Patrick: Yeah. Katrina: I know for me and my clients, we're all very driven, high achieving women ... but we talk about this all the time so I'm speaking from my heart ... we want the man to be the man. We want the man to lead, we don't wanna be in charge in the relationship. But if the guy ... like you said ... if the guys not being in his power and not being a leader and not being a "man", then the woman's gonna feel in order to feel safe and for survival reasons she gonna be like, I've gotta fricken run this game. And then be angry at you for not doing it. Patrick: Exactly. And that's the communication thing that we're talking about. People need to know this ... like you have a great beat on this thing ... but most people are like what are you saying the DNA has nothing to do with it. It is, it's very much genetic survival level shot right here. Katrina: For sure.- Patrick: Doesn't matter if you're a woman or not. You're still gonna feel the same thing. If a dudes acting like this, you're still gonna have problems.- Katrina: Yep.- Patrick: You might not know where it's coming from. But if you trace it back to this, that's where it's coming from. It's coming from cave man shit. Cave man days.- Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: If he's starting to act out like that and you're starting to have problems and you're wondering where these communication issues are coming from. You can trace it back to this. Katrina: On a level were still cave women and cave men and our hormonal systems and our nervous systems operate the same way. And even if a women doesn't have children, psychological, hormonally, and from the nervous system she's wired to want to protect her young. Even if she doesn't have any kids, so that will come up as well, right? Even if it's a relationship with no kids, if the guys starts not being a guy, the women's gonna be worried about that for her own sake but there's also wiring in there hormonally that's like, shit you can't protect my babies, even if they don't exist.- Patrick: Yeah.- Katrina: So that brings up even more anger and hormonal responses. So it's just ... I feel grateful that I understand this from when I was in the fitness industry for years. Cause for eight years I actively studies hormonal patterns and advanced hormonal science, it wasn't just physical training that I did. So I get it all from that. So I've learned it all from business as well as my own relationships previously ending. And then watching so many clients end up in broken marriages or broken relationships. And then just looking at these patterns and it's like strong women need and actually want strong men, right? Katrina: They don't wanna be the one who's acting like the men in the relationship. Patrick: But they also need better men too. Because this is the thing ... all that stuff is true and you've got all the underlying communication going on right here. You've got the ... now we understand we've got to be this type of dude. I've gotta make sure I maintain that as well. But I've also gotta be an honest dude. I have to be congruent and say exactly what the fuck is on my mind. Exactly what the fuck is going on. Cause all this other bullshit, this hiding thinking I'm just gonna leave or whatever. That's not what a man does. A man doesn't have a problem with that. A man's not worried if she leaves her or not. That's not how she should be. It should be all of free, she should be free to do what she wants to do. If she wants to leave she can leave. Patrick: But if she wants to be with you she should stick with you. All that stuff should be lined out and laid out honestly, from the get go. From the ... if you lay it out and have a clear map of what's going on. Otherwise you're gonna have these hairline issues, but your whole shits gonna be based on this milky murky service.- Katrina: It's not stable. Patrick: It's gonna be very unstable, yeah. That's why the one key that opens everything up ... and there's never really a problem when you're honest. If you already built something based on fucking lies and stuff already and it's got so far, then you're probably gonna have a problem. Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: People are probably are married and shits already set up like this. So in that aspect ...- Katrina: They didn't just set it at the start. Patrick: Huh? Katrina: Yeah, you're right. They didn't discuss it at the start. And I ... that's a hard one cause I'm no longer in the relationship that wasn't working, right? But imagine that you're in a relationship and you loved that person ... and I know quite a few people who are in this situation, right? They're in a really fucked up, toxic relationship. They're both being assholes. They're both hating on each other. The male/female dynamics are all screwed up. But what if they're still in love. What if they still love each and they want to make it work. Katrina: Well then it's like anything ... it's like if someone ends up 50 pounds overweight ... if I remember one time I helped a client lose it would have been near 100 pounds. She went from being chronically obese to being a fitness bikini model, winning world titles, unbelievable, fucking amazing. But it took 18 months ... it was even a bit more than that. And in that time, she really fricken showed up, every single day. She did what I said to do, she gave her all to it, she completely changed her life. She wasn't just like, I want to lose weight so I'll go to the gym three days a week. She committed to her health and fitness 100 percent. And she ended with a result that is so rare for someone to go from being chronically obese to a bikini fitness model ... and by the way she was 44 as well when we did this. It was phenomenal. And to this day I think she's one of the most impressive things I've seen. Katrina: And I think it's the same thing. If somebody's in a really toxic relationship but they do love that person, they wanna stay with that person. Well both can change but you'd really have to fucken be committed to that. It's not gonna happen if you go to a therapy session every weeks. Or if you do a date. Everyone's like we do date. Okay, I'm sure going to the movies once a week is gonna fix all your problems. Katrina: What about ... how many people are communicating and actually being brave enough to share what they're really thinking. That's what it would take. I'm not an expert on it, I have done that, turning a relationship around like that. And I believe fully that of course it can be done. But it would require both parties to be committed and it would require that all in attitude, like my client had when she lost all that weight. Katrina: There was something I was gonna say there. Patrick: Well that ... look what Brandon said, he's actually saying something, he's not trolling today ... he says being able to express emotions is not from a place of weakness. That's good too. Patrick: If you're doing the date night and stuff life that. You're on that and everything trying to make it work. But the guy has to be vulnerable with still maintaining all the other shit that we're talking right? All the other vibes the alpha vibes and things like that.- Katrina: Still being a man.- Patrick: All that same stuff. Free too. I don't give a fuck. I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do, but I'm gonna continue to be social, I'm gonna go out and do what I do and have a good time. And whatever still be that way, no matter how mad you get, that's still going to happen. Patrick: But also vulnerable. Saying how you really feel about it. I don't want you to fucken leave. I don't want you to go anywhere. You're a huge part of my life and I don't want you to leave or do anything like that. To say something like that but still maintaining the other stuff, that is not said. That you just do, the behaviour that you have.- Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: That's the way to keep it going the right way. So you're maintaining on the subconscious level but also with being vulnerable to a point. You still have to have that female come out.- Katrina: Well that's huge for women for sure. I know I've heard this so many times in different relationships in my life. And I hear this a lot through client and friend conversations too. I think men will tend to assume that we already know how you feel. And they'll be like she knows I feel this way about her. She knows that I don't want her to go or she knows I love her. But you know what? We want you to say it, a lot. That's just what women want. Katrina: And this is exactly something I wanted to ask you. I was gonna get your opinion on this. My female friends for example ... my best friends, so like Linda who was on the live earlier ... Kelly, whoever my friends are. We communicate with each other every single day ... I don't know if all women do this but my friends and I do pretty much daily ... we'll update each other pretty much about everything that's going on in our days. Almost like, it's a form of journaling. I'll be driving and walking and I'll be sending audio messages to my friends. All my friends, this happened and then I thought this, and then I'm analysing my shit or giving them feedback on this maybe. Katrina: But then it's kind of like a continual communication there. Even if one of us is doing an event or really busy with something, there might be less communication but we still check in. And women check in with each other all the time. We have a continual communication. My point is that we do that even if there's nothing to talk about. Where what I've observed with men, it seems to be like, there'll be communication there is there's something to say or if there's something specific to discuss. Or if you end up talking to someone then you end up talking and communicating. But men don't do the check in communication thing.- Patrick: Yes.- Katrina: And I think women kind of want that ... well we do want that. And then when men don't stay in contact we feel like like maybe they're annoyed at us or they've forgotten about us or they're not really into us or something like that. Because we wouldn't do that. We always communicate with other women. But we expect to communicate with men and then I think it's like where's the line. I know when I was journaling last year, what's my ideal relationship I remember specifically writing down, I don't wanna feel like we have to check in with each other everyday. Like I don't want to feel like you've got to check in with me each day, I also don't wanna feel like I've gotta report back on my fucking actions or something like that. Katrina: But then I want that communication. So what's your take on that, what do men feel about communication, if there's nothing really to communicate about. Communication for the sake of communication. Patrick: That's definitely 100 percent. It just depends on the guy and how he communicates. The more he sends you messages the better, cause that's sign of good communication. He understand that a women wants to hear that. That y'all want to hear that. That you need back ... not even like check in ... but I understand like saying what's up? Just to let you know you're on my mind. That type of stuff.- Katrina: Yeah, yeah, yeah.- Patrick: If the dude doesn't do that very well then he's not communicating very well at all. I can understand how people get that way, especially entrepreneurs. Because they get so busy ... especially with social media, the computer age, your so inundated with information and your so inundated with things going and your life gets so busy that you skip past that sometimes. Patrick: Or your just constantly ... we're constantly in from of the phone talking to tonnes of clients. It can get really hectic. That's the way it is in my life at least. That's the way that I'll find myself slipping up on my own communication. And not really doing the right thing on that end. Patrick: Any guy ... every guy needs to know that you should do that. Women need to hear that, that they need to feel that. That you have to have a constant string of communication like that. If you don't then you need to find a chick .. you haven't really found the one that's worth it for you. You need to find someone that's worth it for you to do that for. Patrick: If you've got somebody then you don't need to be with them. You need to go let them find somebody that will give them that. Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: Any guy that knows what he's doing will communicate every day. At least that's from my experience. Patrick: What do you think? Katrina: Yeah, for sure. For sure. But I think sometimes also men just don't know this. I think they legitimately ... this is what I've heard or read or figured out from observing ... sometimes I think men think, what I said before. You said men need to be vulnerable and say what they're thinking and feeling. And a lot of times men think, oh she already knows that I feel that. But it's like even if we know, we still want to hear it. Kind of repeatedly. Patrick: Yeah, yeah. Still say it even if you don't get a response from it. Keep on saying it. Keep on saying it. Just keep on going. Same thing with their life. Y'all can get busy too. Katrina: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Patrick: It's the same way though. That's where the miscommunication comes in. But do never stop telling a woman the stuff that you feel about them. Should never stop doing that. It should be consistent. Consistent thing. Patrick: As far as guys go, how we communicate. Me and my best friends we just send meme's back and forth I work with my friend. So we'll pick up the phone and talk business. Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: Calling ... people don't fucking call anymore, you gotta call. And talk too. Pick up the phone and call.- Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: Meaningful talking, tell them what's on your mind. Tell them how you feel, that's what all of this is all about feelings. All feels. Katrina: It goes both ways cause I know we get really scared to say what we're feeling, cause it's just that constant vulnerability. Fear of being exposed or fear of feeling that you've opened yourself up. Vulnerability that you might get rejected or hurt. So if men what to say what they're feeling more, women need to be brave enough to do that as well. And ultimately realise that if you tell a guy how you feel and you share your truth. And then that scares them away or they don't agree or don't like it or they don't align to it. Then that's fantastic then you figured out not to waste your time. Better to say what you really think and you really want and having a discussion about or feel like, nope that's never gonna happen, that doesn't move it for me, I don't like it, I don't align to that. Well maybe you got hurt or you feel hurt but actually you saved yourself a fuck load of effort and time, rather than dancing around hoping you can ... what? Trick some body into wanting to be with you or something? Patrick: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You also got ... sorry I was just reading some of these comments ... but you also got ... fuck I was thinking of something ... fuck ... my brain, I just had an aneurism ...- Katrina: Just a minor little one. You look fine. You seemed to have survived. Marsha says you love the accent. I don't know if you means your accent or my accent. Patrick: What I was going to say is if the guy also has issues in the past ... as I do .. I have issues in the past, that I've been fucked over before, plenty of times. All you have to fucken do is say it. Very fucken simple. Just fucken tell the situation.- Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: You've been fucked over. Who gives a fuck, the same way as there are as many clients in the world. There's as many women in the world. So why don't you just be honest, you're gonna run into somebody. Just be fucking honest, say what the fuck ... say what is really going on.- Katrina: Yeah, for sure.- Patrick: What think she's gonna tell her friends and you're never gonna get laid again? Don't be stupid, and turn away getting laid. Say what you really ... don't lead people down this death trap. If you've got issues, if you got shit you need to work out. Bring that shit up to the front. Let em know, boom what you get yourselves into, that way they know. That way from there it's so easy to be honest. ' Katrina: Right. Totally. Women appreciate that. I don't know if men wanna hear all that. Actually I wanna hear your answer to this cause I saw guy the other day say ... I can't remember where this was maybe a post on Facebook or something ... I saw a guy say, I don't wanna hear all your issues, I don't wanna hear your shit that happened with your ex or something. And I was kind of triggered by it when I saw this post. Katrina: Okay, I wouldn't want to be going on and on about my previous relationships all the time. But it does feel like to me it's relevant or important to talk about cause that's part of who I am in as a person and part of my growth that I'm currently doing ... for me personally for example ... is a lot of it is what I learned from previous relationships that I didn't want. Katrina: So to me it makes sense that I would speak about that to some degree, with the person who's in my life. I saw this guy put a post up like, you know, men don't wanna hear that, we don't want to hear your stories about what happened to you before or what your feeling. It was maybe kind of an asshole post but I was like, is that true? Cause women do ... we do actually wanna hear those stories. We really wanna hear where somebody's at and what they're thinking or feeling. Cause then it comes back to civility and we feel safe. Okay now I understand it. Patrick: Like if she's worth it. If she's worth it. Bad communication if she's worth it and you don't wanna hear her fucking past because that's all good shit right there. You want to know her demons are up, you want to know who her fucking enemies are because you want to go, her enemies are your fucking enemies, right? That's your job as a man. So you gotta ... this is all information you should wanna hear ... like I said, if she's worth it. If she's not then bounce down the road.- Katrina: Yep.- Patrick: But if she is, if she's worth it to you then that would be the lamest thing I ever heard. I bet she's probably not getting much ... like you said you were getting turned off ...- Katrina: Yeah I unfriended him.- Patrick: There you go.- Katrina: I only keep how bad people and I was like ... okay thank you for showing me who you are. But I was curious ... then I felt insecure by it ... because then I was thinking that I've shared things that have to do with my past relationships even with you and then I was like, shit is that an annoying thing to do. Should I not be doing that? Then I kind of questioned myself on it. And then I moved on. But I was curious if other men think that or this guy was just random dude on my newsfeed that somehow snuck.- Patrick: That's a random dude. You wanna know as a man who wants to be better man who wants his relationships to last, you should be more than interested, more than happy. And those people be like, oh my gosh I can't hear this. I know some dudes thinking this way. But fuck man you probably suck at communication. Look at your relationships. Look at what you got going on in your life. Look at the woman of your dreams, is she still there? Probably fucking not. Patrick: You should wanna hear that shit. You should want to listen to that and hear it. You wanna know what her crazy is. You wanna take her crazy. You wanna be able to handle ... just drop it on me. Drop all the bad, drop all the negative, bring it to me. I'll take it for you. We'll play these games together. Katrina: Yeah, yeah. Patrick: That's the best ...- Katrina: That's pretty cool. I think that's definitely what makes us feel safe. That's what we want. We want to feel that way, safe to express. And it's also because relationship are constant growth. There constantly giving you an opportunity to see your shit. Sometimes your shit comes up. I think the more a relationship is a soul alliance relationship the more that it actually can show you your shit and bring your shit to the surface, so sometimes it can feel a bit relentless or a bit fuck I don't wanna be faced with all my shit every fricken day. And it's kind of life with mentoring as well. With a solo mentoring, I know I'm such a mirror for my clients, that sometimes they don't want to hear it. They're like fuck off Kat. Get up, go away, I don't wanna be in that space. And it's well okay, they're gonna come back anyway cause this the growth that I know I need. Right?- Patrick: Yeah.- Katrina: This is what I need to step into. And I think with a soul alliance relationship it's the same thing. The more that there's a true connection there the more it's actually for your growth for both of you. For your growth and healing so it may or may not last forever, whatever that is, but either way when there's that connection and that time together, you're both going to continually get confronted with your shit and then it's, okay, yes it feels uncomfortable or I feel scared or I feel triggered or now I'm feeling insecure. Katrina: So the two things I've really learned from that is, like what we've just been saying, tell the other person this is what I'm feeling. I'm feeling insecure, I'm feeling this. But secondly also look at, what can I learn from that? How can I grow from that? Because is that real and true or is this my reactive story. Maybe something happens and then it reminds you of a previous relationship, where that meant something bad or scary so then you automatically assume something bad or scary's gonna happen and you get into this reactive state and this reactive story rather than actually seeing for what it is. And being like ah ... like a huge one for girls is if they message a guy and then the guy doesn't reply, right? Or doesn't reply for a few days or whatever. Katrina: We'll go into a massive tail spin drama, like clearly he hates me now. He doesn't like me at all, he's not interested and then ... my friends and I were talking ... I think Linda and I were talking about this ... and it was like or maybe he just didn't reply and that's the whole end of the story and there's actually no additional meaning to it at all. And you just created all this stuff in your head. Like maybe you did this, maybe he wasn't checking messages, maybe he didn't feel like replying. But it doesn't have to be, oh my God it was this and this and this and this and this. Katrina: So for me when I notice myself having those reactions, like oh my God it means this this this and this and then I laugh at it. I'm like okay or it could mean nothing at all. I've got all my own stories and drama coming up so this is a great opportunity for me to process that, detoxify it and see where I'm living actively in, as opposed to casting in myself. Patrick: Yeah. But he could also say something to to fix that. Like if you don't hear from me, and say like an hour or two hours after you message me just hit me back, you've probably got lost in the sauce. Probably got lost in the mix. Katrina: Yeah, yeah.- Patrick: Something he could fix right there. Katrina: But without ...- Patrick: If you're a man.- Katrina: That's a good thing to say cause what women will think though. They would think that would make me look needy or insecure, if I followed up the message. Then he's gonna think I'm hassling him or I'm needy. So that's the female mindset. Patrick: Yeah.- Katrina: Right? Rather than being more ... go ahead.- Patrick: What's that? Patrick: Hello? Patrick: We got a bad connection? Katrina: No, I think I just cut you off. We're you still talking? Patrick: I was just saying if you say something like that, then that kind of opens ... that lets you do know that that's cool to do, you know? Katrina: Right. Yeah.- Patrick: It opens it up.- Katrina: Yeah. Alright I feel like we talked a lot about what women want from men but what do men want from women then? Patrick: Well, it's pretty basic. Obviously if your a deeper thinking guy you want good conversation, good company, hanging out. But then there's always sex, the basic needs, sex ... I mean just want to ... you have to have something you really want to go for. It's like a [inaudible 00:49:22]. It has to be something you're really trying to achieve. And this could something more than, it's something you're trying to get over yourself. Something you're trying to level up yourself. You definitely want somebody you can speak with, that you can communicate with and just share stuff back and forth with. A companion is what a good girlfriend is, you know? Patrick: That's pretty basic. Guys we don't really require that much. As long as those things are there that's fine. Also, and this just ... there's a lot of different flavours of what people are looking for out there. I can't tell a guy what he's looking for in a woman or anything like that, you know? But as far as my own wife. Being open, being honest, say what I wanna say and have somebody that's down with that ...- Katrina: Shit.- Patrick: Like I said, as long as I'm being honest then I don't have to worry about ...- Katrina: Oh my God.- Patrick: I don't have to worry about the other shit. That other persons gonna bounce off, that's gonna be my flavour. It's like the perfect client or the perfect customer.- Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: As long as I keep on being myself and keep on saying what's on my mind out here, then they're gonna come. Katrina: Be fully you.- Patrick: My right person. I can't speak for all men on what they're looking for, all I know is that I keep doing this. Keep saying what's on my mind then the right person or right people are gonna come into my life no matter what. That's not a problem. I just manifest that.- Katrina: Yeah. Katrina: [crosstalk 00:51:13] Katrina: It's the same as your friends, right? We don't worry about all this stuff in order to find any amazing friends that we've got in our lives. It didn't come about through some process surveying people, trying to be cool, trying to be whatever. You become friends with someone because it just happens somehow. Wherever you met them. There's a resonance there and you become best friends. And that's exactly how I've attracted all my friends. It just kind of happens. I just be who I am and they come along. It definitely had gotta be the same with relationship ... I think there's probably exceptions to this ... I think it can be super casual or whatever, doesn't really matter as much, it's just in the moment. Katrina: But for anyone who you're gonna see ... for me at least ... anyone that I'm gonna see more than a few times, I've gotta have that connection, I've gotta have that resonance there. Or I'm gonna get really bored. But it's just not, it doesn't feel like a good use of my time. It would kind of feel like I would try and be friends with somebody just because they were my neighbour or lived on my street. I'm sure we could get a long and have a conversation but I'm really gonna not do that unless I absolutely have to. Patrick: Yeah, exactly. Or just in a particular situation, you're out having fun or whatever and it's just something happens. That's natural. If you're a person who's congruent, people are gonna find that attractive about you. People are gonna find you attractive just cause you're a nice woman, you got nice hair and everything like that. So they're gonna find you attractive. I don't discount anybody out here having fun and doing all that. But for fun if you're talking about a soul connection and things like that, that just comes ... you feel that back and forth. It's just somebody who's easy for you to talk to.- Katrina: Right.- Patrick: It's so easy for you to pick up the phone and talk to them. Or so easy for you to text back and forth and speak to them and you can speak to them for a long time and you can speak to them for a long time, it's good conversation. If you don't have that and you've just got this shit pieced together because of the persons looks or you're feeling rejecting of that person to leave. If you don't have this back and forth then why the fuck ...- Katrina: There's no connection ...- Patrick: Go ...- Katrina: Right ...- Patrick: Just figure something else out, stope having a scared fish mentality about your life.- Katrina: Totally.- Patrick: You're scared this persons gonna leave. Or your scared this persons gonna think of you or whatever. And you just so forgetting that there's seven billion people on this planet. Katrina: Yeah. It should only be soulful. The friend thing again. There's plenty of friends that I've faded out over my life in the past five to ten years as I've become more and more who I am, I guess. In business and life. There's been friendships lost along the way. It's not like I ever broke up with any friends or socked anybody as my friend. But it just faded away, like you would meet up and it would be like, so this is really hard going to have a conversation. Katrina: So to me I have the level that I expect from all my relationships. Whether it's friends, clients, or romantically, where I'm just not gonna be in that if I don't have that conversation. And with men in particular, it wouldn't even progress beyond a certain point of that connections not there. You might have somebody and go out once or twice, but for me and my client as well ... I speak for my clients. I don't think it would get past two or three times meeting up with someone where your like, well if that conversation isn't there I can't do that. This is draining my soul and my mind. It doesn't mean I can't laugh and have fun and be social in different situations. But to spend time one on one with somebody, sex alone is not enough to keep you going, to meet up with somebody. At a certain point it's like I actually have to talk to this person as well. Patrick: Yep. It's one that leads to deeper conversations. It just is. But with the internet now, with social media the way it is ... you're really wasting time ... I can understand back in the day with horse and buggy shit and they had to settle, settle for something out there. But you're an enlightened person, you're thinking higher level than you would be so wasting your time. And why would you do such a fucking thing? Why would you settle and trap yourself and be living in a prison the rest of your life? I could not imagine what that must feel like for some people, you know? Katrina: Well people accept it as normal. They accept that that's just how it is. That relationships are a drain and that they're not something that I value to you. It's like something that cost you and I felt that way for a period as well, as you know. It was just where I was at in my journey that I bought into that belief. But fundamentally I didn't believe it and I wonder ... I see so many people who are so unhappy in their relationships and they just think that's how it is. But typically the people who I observe that are like that are the people who are not creating their life purposefully in other areas also. They're just accepting the status quo in everything. Where as for people like us, and people watching this. You don't accept the status quo in business or in lifestyle or in health. So why the fuck would we accept it in relationships? Katrina: Even for me, even when I was settling. I was so out of alignment and I knew it. I knew that fundamentally I don't believe this is how it has to be, of course I can have it all, cause I create my reality in business, in fitness , with my money, with my travel, with my lifestyle. Why would I not believe I can have a standard of excellence and amazingness in that area as well ...- Patrick: That's ...- Katrina: You can believe that ...- Patrick: That's a self love thing though. I think we've talked about this too. A big thing is self love. I started looking at this shit and I used to drink quite a bit and I started getting into these bad relationships. I started thinking about, I'd get into these bad relationships and I'd drink. When I wake up the next morning I would always think these things, I can't believe what you did, you fucken, I can't believe you acted like that, you drank, you piece of shit, you're fucken worthless. You're like garbage and I fucken hate myself. Patrick: So I thought this was something that happened after I got drunk. After I would get drunk and wake up the next morning just have these thoughts. But then I really started getting into loving myself. Love myself, loving the way I talk, loving the way I speak, loving the way I do things, loving the way I write and do things in general. And thinking that no matter what, even if I'm out there fucking up, I got my meme, I love the way I fuck things up. I love the way I fuck shit up ...- Katrina: Yeah, yeah, yeah.- Patrick: Even if I fuck shit up, it's part of my journey and I'm having a good time right? Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: I love the way that I do that. I love the way I get into shit. I get into some fucken trouble in the club, whatever, you know what I'm saying? I'm having a good time, it's fun. So then I start living like that, I started waking up and started feeling like, I would even get drunk and wake up the next morning and be like, fuck ... I wasn't having these thoughts anymore, you know? Katrina: Yep.- Patrick: I'm like I love myself.- Katrina: That self acceptance, yeah.- Patrick: It's not the ...- Katrina: Totally ...- Patrick: I'm not telling anybody just go be an alcoholic, I have a few drinks right? I've gotta control myself still. But, everything's in order. I'm not doing totally crazy shit like driving. I'll take an Uber as where I go. I just go have a good time. And even if I did, it's still self love. No matter what you do, still love yourself cause it's part of the fucken journey. That person that really, that person that needs to be in your life can come into your life, you know? And be part of your life, cause other wise you're gonna be building this prison cell for yourself. Katrina: Right.- Patrick: Around these people that you don't fucken life, cause you don't like yourself.- Katrina: Right, it's gotta be total love and acceptance. Brandon said love yourself even if you eat those fries. That's a really relevant analogy for a lot of women in particular. Katrina: Like I spent 15 years of my life if I would eat a fricken cookie I would hate myself for it and then I would do hours in the gym the next day. Now I'm like, if I eat something that doesn't feel good to me I'm like, okay whatever, either way I love and accept myself and from a place of love and acceptance I'm probably gonna make good choices. Katrina: Like there's many times where I might say something ... in relationships ... where I then feel self conscious or I feel like oh my God that was stupid or maybe I said it the wrong way. But I let go of it instantly now, because I'm like, it's whatever because I'm safe to be me. I love and accept myself regardless. And either this connection is real and will go on or it's not. And either way is fine. Cause like you were saying before, there's so many people in the world. The soul mate people are out there. The cookies. They want cookies ...- Patrick: They all sound good to me right now, I wish I had some ...- Katrina: Cookies. I just think you're so grounded when you learn how to love yourself. I know I fully love and accept myself now and that's probably really been in the past six to nine months. I think we were talking about this last week. I had to actively learn to do that though. I noticed that I finally admitted and acknowledged that I didn't love myself. That I wasn't treating myself as a person who loves themselves. And I embarked upon a bit of a journey to do that. Really, through my inner work and set work but mainly through choosing it. And also it's a helpful thing to use as kind of like, in order to figure shit out, whenever you feel unsure how to interact with somebody ... in a relationship or this is true in business also ... then you can say to yourself, if I did fully accept and love myself, what would I say in this moment? Right? - Patrick: Right.- Katrina: Or what would I act like? Is it something I need or want. I feel like that person doesn't know that or maybe they don't wanna give that. Well if I loved and accepted myself I would say what want. I would be okay with saying this is what I want, this is what I need. And I'd also be okay with the answer regardless, right? Katrina: Why would I need to be scared to say what I want if I love and accept myself? Patrick: Exactly. Same thing with guys too. - Katrina: So it's a practise.- Patrick: I could see myself though, before this, cause I've heard this plenty of times before and when I was younger. So it's very hard for somebody that doesn't love themselves to hear this kind of stuff. I don't know what you're talking about loving yourself, what the fuck are you talking about? Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: That shit. Life sucks, this kind of stuff. It's very hard, maybe this will change somebody that's right on the edge of that and get it started ...- Katrina: Well people have to be ... Katrina: [inaudible 01:02:49] Patrick: What is that? You said ... a guy still needs to hear this stuff to as well. Cause you've got two voices going on in your head. You got this one that's saying, yeah you got this pump up voice that's saying let's go dominate the world, let's go crush it, let's go make this money. But you also got this one that say, you fucken piece of shit, I can't believe you fucken did this, I can't believe that you fucked up again. People do this all the time, you'll say stuff, like you just fuck up, I can't believe you fucken lost your keys again, when you gonna stop fucken losing your keys. Where if you've heard somebody talk to you like this, if you heard somebody saying things to you like this, you would tell him to go fuck himself you know? If they told you, if they said things like this in real life ...- Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: You'd tell em to go fuck themselves. So it's like another, it's about self love right? That's a big ... that's a disconnect right there. You have to get rid of that voice, you have to love the stupid shit that you do ...- Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: You have to love all the shit that you do no matter what, cause it's just your journey. You have to flip that, so I'm telling you, that's part of it. So if you cath yourself saying things like that to yourself then that's a problem. That's something you need to ... when you do, your life's gonna be better, your relationships gonna be better. Things are just gonna fall into place.- Katrina: And it just makes it so easy well. You realise that you can't screw up. It's not possible to screw anything up. And then the other thing I like to use as a guiding question aside from love and acceptance is, reminding myself that everything's perfect and everything's as it's meant the be. So sometime when something happens where at first you're like fuck, that's not good, or that's scary or bad or whatever. To then go, oh but wait, if I fundamentally believe that everything's perfect then that means this actually meant to be what's happened. So even though I don't understand it right now or it feels confronting or it's just annoying or whatever it is. If everything's perfect, than that means this is perfect, that means I'm safe. That means everything's as it's meant to be, I'm on path, even if I can't see the fucking path. So therefore, I'm free. So what do I actually choose to do. What is my action that I'm gonna take in this moment. What do I want to say. Katrina: I just think relationship in particular are built ... commonly built on so much fear ... like so much masking and ding and trying to say the right thing or trying to show not too much of yourself, cause then you might end up unsafe. But really you get that safety from inside of you and it starts with love and acceptance. And it starts with having powerful, fundamental beliefs in place. Such as I believe I always make the right decision. I fully believe that about myself, but I had to process that belief, I had to cultivate that belief and even when I didn't believe it. Cause at first my mind would have been like, uh no you don't you screw up all the time. Katrina: So then I started practising that belief. No, I always make the right decision, everything is always as it's meant to be. It is impossible for me to screw up. Even if I say something and afterwards I'm like, why did I say that? Then I'll smile and go, well maybe I can't see the reason right now but I know that I always make the right decision. - Patrick: There you go. - Katrina: So therefore I was meant to say that in order to learn something. Patrick: Yep, exactly. I know I'm doing the right thing. No matter what. Not only that you have better conversations when you're honest. You'll start seeing these conversations, you'll start having these conversations, like holy fuck this is a real conversation.- Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: What the fuck are these mother fucker talking about? You listen to them. I heard one like, can we skip TGI Fridays today and go to this other place? TG what the fuck? Shit that you're talking about when you're having an honest conversation, like this is a different fucking conversation. It's a totally different thing. - Katrina: It's a whole new level. It's a level that most people will never operate on the truth of the matter. And like you said, maybe some people watch this and they're like what the fuck are these people on about. They're just full of shit or whatever. But I think people have to be understood and pointed on their journey. Even if they don't understand this to be curious and be like, yeah I feel like there's something there that I can explore and want to explore. And I wanna open myself up to that. Katrina: Why would you not open yourself up to complete freedom? Right? Patrick: You should. And that's why, the thing about marriage, I just don't see ... there's so much fucking different, different problems along the way. If these people have built something and they've signed a contract. If they've built it on something and they've signed a contract on something that's not like this. That's not 100 percent completely honest, which most of it isn't, let's be honest. Then I feel fucken sorry for these people. I really do. Katrina: Yeah.- Patrick: It's just fucked up. Cause that's society, like we saying that's hypnotising, that's brain washing, that's why people wear these masks in the first place. That why people shut themselves down, and then they get in these fucken situations and then you know, next thing you know, get date nights and all this weird shit going on. Katrina: Yeah, but I think. I know for me, back when I got married, I'd never heard of all this stuff. It never occurred to me to share my deepest fears. I know we did speak very openly and vulnerably about a lot of stuff I guess but there were certain things where you didn't or you wouldn't or I didn't have the level of communicating or understanding that I do now have. And most people don't ... like you and I and people here, we're doing growth work every single day.- Patrick: Every day.- Katrina: In multiple areas of our lives and we're unbelieving all the time. Where as most people when they enter a relationship or get married have not even fricken heard of growth work so they might try and have an honest conversation but they don't even understand what that would mean to have a really honest conversation. So it's kind of an interesting one. I think even if you had a massive awesome level of open honest communication and then you got married ... but with or without you have this relationship, an official relationship. Well the only way that that's gonna thrive is if people are continuing their own individual growth and continuing to have those open discussions together as well. Katrina: It's just ... the reality is, there's just a few amount of people in the world, percentage wise, who do that. It still adds up to millions of people obviously but, it's not the norm. Katrina: I hear people talk about their relationships all the time or you'll observe it or you listen in. I travel so much and usually I'm by myself when I'm travelling so I really commonly will go to restaurants by myself and I'll just work on my laptop. And it's so interesting to just observe couple togeth

Kat: Alright. We cannot begin yet. Okay, one second. Hmm, approve. Kat: I feel like I'm brand new to the internet when I do these sorts of things. Patrick: Hey! Kat: I feel like such a magician. Patrick: We can begin. Kat: To me it's like a greater accomplishment to successfully do a split screen broadcast then it is to launch some massive new programme. Patrick: It's pretty badass. Kat: Yeah, I was very scared about how that would work. I felt technologically challenged. Patrick: I'm trying to get used to it. But I ... Kat: Is somebody seriously sending angry faces? Patrick: Yeah. Probably Brandon. Kat: Brandon's angry that he's not on the live stream. Patrick: Yup. Sorry Brandon, not today. Not today. Kat: Not today. I've got to say that my lighting looks better than your lighting. Patrick: Not right now. I put in my room so I can get way better lighting. Actually I'm gonna do you even ... Kat: You're view is way better. Patrick: I'm gonna do even dirtier than this. Kat: Dirtier? We're going dirty already? Patrick: Real dirty style. There we go. Okay. Actually I'll get in that bed. Kat: Is that an accent? Whose got an accent? I don't have an accent, obviously. Everybody knows that. Patrick: No way. Kat: My accent is ... Patrick: It's purely for shits and gigs. Kat: One day, maybe when you've known me for a hundred years, you'll figure out that I'm not British. Patrick: British, Australian, it's the same thing. I'm sorry to let you know it. Kat: Oh, it's so not. Patrick: Alright, so I'm all set up now. So my lighting is good. Let's see where you told me about the ... To turn the lighting on. I can't really do it. That's one thing that's missing here, is that little button you showed me to brighten it up. You know, to brighten the ... Kat: You look bright. Patrick: Yeah, let me see if I can switch that on. Kat: You look like you've got a tanning line [inaudible 00:02:26] on your face. Patrick: That's good. 'Cause I definitely do not. But let me get some more. Put that down. Boom. Kat: Alright. Now we're gonna go into it. Patrick: I don't know how you want to start this off, but I'm ready. I am in the zone. Kat: Firstly I think we need to set the tone, and let people know that this will only be serious and professional content. No laughing emojis are allowed. Patrick: Hey let me share this. I wonder if I can share this with my group? Let's see if that works on this thing. Kat: Yup. Patrick: Okay, share to group. Awesome. Players club, there we go. Kat: Hey. Patrick: Boom, it's done. Kat: I just said no laughing emojis you guys. Don't send laughing emojis automatically when I say "no laughing emojis". That wasn't funny at all. It was completely non-funny. We've actually had a serious discussion about this live stream before. We went live, it's actually taken all day, neither of us have accomplished anything. Except discussing the fact that this live stream will be only serious and professional business. Patrick: Straight professional. Only professional business. Strictly business. Kat: Purely professional. Strictly business. People wanted me to introduce you again. How did every ... how did ... You gotta go ... Sorry can't do intros again. We did intros last week. You're gonna have to go to his profile, follow his profile. You'll very quickly figure it out. You'll either be deeply drawn in, or potentially shocked and appalled and you'll leave. Patrick: Gonna be horri ... Kat: Much the same as when people [inaudible 00:03:55] my profile. Patrick: You'll be horrified. Yeah I'm on a camp chair, Meg. Meg just asked me if I'm on a camp chair. This is a camp chair in my house. Kat: Yes. Patrick: That's a quick ... But that's a good segue right there. Why am I on this camp chair? I'll tell you why. You know, I'm just recently starting new, you can go check out my stuff. You see all the stuff that has been going wrong since I actually finished my offer, and put my offer out there. Right? Patrick: So, I had quit my job to go start doing all this crazy cool shit that Cat told me about. Convinced me to go be myself and just say whatever the fuck is on my mind. Just have ... Kat: I didn't convince anybody of anything. Patrick: You convinced me. She convinced me to do it, so I just quit my job. If this fails, I'm blaming it all on you Cat. I'm blaming it all on you. And uh ... Yes you. Kat: I did nothing. I just lead my damn life and then people do whatever they want in response to it. Patrick: What I heard was "Quit your job, Patrick, quit your job." So over and over again I'm hearing this, and I left. And so ... Kat: Question. Patrick: What's that? Kat: Can we block Ryan's [inaudible 00:05:07] from being on this live stream? Patrick: Yeah he's [inaudible 00:05:09]. Very, very mad. But I think he knows that you had some kind of part in this whole thing. So, of course. Patrick: But anyways, so I just jumped off cold turkey. Needless to say, I still had a shit tonne of bills, 'cause I live a pretty expensive lifestyle. And so, yeah I just said "Fuck it". I just had a couple of skills. Patrick: Now I do have a few skills. I do build marketing automation systems. I do build for people like Cat, coaches. You know I can take your shit and boost that shit up. You know what I mean? Get you some automation going, make you some money. But, that's a skill that I'm not really trying to use. Why? Because somebody else is trying to do this shit for myself. Patrick: the first time in my life, I'm making my own bed, I'm doing my own thing. I'm doing it for myself. What's on my mind is going to come out. Putting it out there, and just to bring this all back home. The fucking deal is, ever since I started doing this, every fucking thing I can possibly think of, that could possibly go wrong, is going wrong. Patrick: As a matter of fact I'm on a cell phone right now. Because my laptop screen, my mac screen burnt the fuck out. TV burnt out. I can't even, the list goes on and on. It's just. Kat: What? The TV burnt out now? Patrick: The TV burnt out, the laptop screen burnt out. First the laptop screen burnt out. On my mac that I bought, like probably two years ago, all of sudden that shit burnt out. On the day that I dropped my offer, mind. On the day that I finally, finally stayed up all night, and crafted this thing out and wrote it all up. Kat: Tried to go to bed halfway through. Patrick: Tried to go to bed halfway through. Not being able to. And staying up and finishing it. Then waking up early in the morning and even more finishing it. And then even halfway through the day, till one o'clock today, finally finishing it. Off of a MacBook, which had a burnt out screen. That I hooked up to a big ass TV, in the living room. Kat: Which looked amazing. Patrick: It looked pretty good. Yeah it looked amazing. I was gonna do what you told me. Which was present my offer. Instead of just writing it out, I was gonna present my offer on TV. It was gonna be all crazy, badass, a great idea. I thought it would have been fucking wonderful. Had it worked. Patrick: So, you know, TV burnt out. Brand new TV mind you. Don't buy Zenio. The MacBook burnt out, and now won't connect to that TV. I took it in here to the other TV. It won't connect to that one either. And every possible thing to prevent me from doing this, has been happening. Patrick: So now, I have a little phone, and a camp chair. Because I'm not gonna sit in there, I'm gonna sit right here and actually have something go right. I'm having a good backdrop, right? Patrick: I have a good backdrop, and just ... I don't know. This is going pretty well I think. Kat: It's going exactly as it's meant to. Are you reading the comments? Patrick: I am kind of, yeah. I was just talking. I get ADD so I can't really, I'm gonna have to go back. Kat: Well, everybody's like "Your whole life is blowing up". I think Katie said, this is pretty much ... You know this, this happens. I hear this every single time somebody actually full backs themselves. Kat: Yeah exactly what Kristin said. It's an "are you sure" from the Universe. Patrick: Yeah, it's double check on it right? I don't fucking know. I don't know, but it's crazy. It's like a poltergeist, or something is ... Kat: It actually means ... Do you know what it means? It means, like all that shit happens. The more that shit like that happens, the answer is you just gotta be like "bring it the fuck on then, I'm ready". And let it go faster. And then it's a level up after that. It's the breakdown, before the breakthrough. Patrick: Yeah. Kat: Like for sure, if shit starts blowing up it's means that I'm about to go to a super high next level. And I've seen it a million times with my clients, and friends. Patrick: It's gotta be right there. You know, that's the one thing too. I'm totally, so all in with it and every single day I get even more all in on it. And just finishing that up, and just putting it out there and seeing all shit happen. It just makes me want to go even more all in, you know? So I'm like, let's just keep seeing how far this goes. And maybe, maybe you know, six months down the road I'm gonna be fucking living in a shoe box somewhere. Maybe. Patrick: But then I still have faith, and I still know that there's going to be that sales that gonna come in there. Eventually. It's gonna come. Kat: I think it's about, like everything that you would lean on outside of yourself gets striped away, and you learn how to fully lean on yourself. Patrick: Yeah. Kat: Yeah, "Arrow is drawn back before being shot forward" says Stephen. Patrick: He's in my ... Kat: Exactly. Patrick: He's in my entrepreneur players club. What's up Stephen? I dropped the link back there. Kat: Yeah, you gotta put that link for the club in here. Patrick: I gotta be marketing myself now. You know what I mean? I gotta be doing this. Kat: It's exactly how it goes for everyone. It's like, it's the test. And it's the "are you sure", and it's when you start laughing at it and be like "okay, I see what's happening here. Surrender." Then it all just starts to wash over you. Kat: But it makes you stronger anyway. Like, you're already getting stronger through it everyday. Patrick: It's tough. Some crazy stuff happened today too, though. Like just goes beyond that. Just to let me kind of know I'm going on the right path. Like, you know Travis Plum, he's on here right now. He's all in. He says "all in". Kat: [inaudible 00:10:49] Patrick: Yeah T Plum was over here today, and he is just all in. We have another sales guy that's gonna be coming on. He's doing his thing, and he just kind of popped up. So it just kind of feels like there's support now, on that. It's cool to see there's some other shit going on. It doesn't totally feel like I'm out here by myself, even though shit's still fucking up. Patrick: Shit's still fucking up for them. They're in the same boat, but now there's us. We're pouring the water out of the boat. And we're motivating each other. And it's kind of difficult when you're just by yourself doing it, but you kind of get those thoughts. You know what I mean? Patrick: The thoughts ... I don't know if you know what I mean, but you get the thoughts that ... You probably haven't had these thoughts in a long time. Kat: I don't know. Yeah, well I still remember though. It doesn't seem like that long ago for me really, since I was in that place. It's not actually that many years ago. Kat: But you know what I think is really cool? Basically nobody would talk about it, like you're talking about it right now, while they're going through it. Everybody waits till afterwards. Like even I fully talk about it as transparently as what you're talking about it right now. Kat: Nobody does that. Everybody waits till later on, and they can tell story. Or they might tell a little bit of it. [inaudible 00:12:17] your just like, "There it all is." Patrick: Hey I thought about that too, but I'm like, you know what if I'm going down through it, if I'm going to go through it, I'm like, might as well fucking do it. Just do it. Patrick: I was thinking though, and this is something I want to talk about. 'Cause I had wrote like a pretty long post earlier today, to go in company with my thing. You know. And it's like talking about how, you know I'm just gonna fucking do it. And I'm just gonna drop the parachute out and just fucking, just go and do it. Patrick: Not only that, I'm gonna show you guys ... I'm gonna let you all in to see it, and you know. I promise you that I'll take everybody through this whole thing and you'll be there, and everything like that. And there's all sorts of different options that could happen for me. Patrick: In the next month, or two months that if I don't put up, if things don't happen then there's very low levels that I can go to. But I'm totally comfortable with that. I've been there before. Kat: Right. Patrick: Be fun if ... I didn't think about that, you're right. But I have seen a couple of people do this before though. I saw one sell his, I saw one guy with line sell all of his shit and just start from scratch, you know. But I don't know how far he made it. I haven't seen him or heard from him in a long time. Patrick: You have the Demio webinar kids that created their own webinar software, and they did the same thing, and haven't heard from them in a while. So typically it hasn't worked out well for people that have, maybe like ... I guess what I'm saying I'm doing here is like how to just ... And I have been talking about it and walking it through the process of being honest about it, and saying that shit's getting fucked up. Patrick: I just gave Ryan back my car. You know what I'm saying? Like he had, when I worked for him, I'd had a fucking badass Maserati and everything like that. He'd let me use like a company car or whatever and I'd pay him the note on it and everything like that. It was nice and made me feel good. But I just went and gave it back to him. You know, so no car. Patrick: So, but I don't really need too much, where I really need a car anyway. I got my mind on, you know, bally at in about two months when my lease is up here. So you know, shit's going down. It is what it is. Fuck though. Kat: It's the all in thing. Patrick: Yeah, what's more important to me is the end treasure that's there. That I know is there, and that is there. I mean honestly, I'd rather have some different shit anyways. Kat: Exactly. It's just exactly like that meme you made with the plane flying off the cliff. Like, most people wouldn't be willing to go through it. Kat: Like the crazy thing, I used to wonder what is the worst thing that could possibly happen if I would run out of money, and if things didn't turn around, and it got down to where I had like, eight, nine cents in the bank. Then I would always end up making a few dollars to just, kind of keep my head above water. But sometimes I couldn't buy food, or anything like that. And it was always like, just can you get through that one day? And sometimes it was like, I think I'm gonna be done after this day. Patrick: Yeah. Kat: But I remember, I thought "Okay but what's the absolute worse case outcome?" And for me, it was move back in with my mom and dad. And I'm like, alright well that's not actually like the worst fucking thing in the world. I'm sure I'll start acting like a bratty teenager after like three days, 'cause that's what happens when I stay with my parents. But it's not gonna kill me. Kat: So then, it was kind of like acknowledging that I'm not gonna ... Like you're subconscious mind, or your nervous system is screaming at you that you're gonna die. Patrick: Yeah. Kat: And so that's why most entrepreneurs flake out. Because they can't handle the emotional pressure, and they can't handle the nervous system pressure. Having this nervous system response that says you're about to get eaten by a lion and a tiger. Like that's a hormonal response. Kat: When really, it's like if I totally hit rock bottom it would mean living with my mom. And then I would just get pissed about that and then I would go sell some shit. And either way, I'm gonna make it. Right? Patrick: Yeah. Kat: So then kind of go, oh why am I letting that shit get to me then? Like, can I get through today? Yes. Do I believe that I'm ultimately gonna make it? Yes. So, keep fucking going. But most people? Kat: That's why we say one percent within the one percent. Like I know for a fact, like only 0.001 percent would put themselves through what I went through emotionally. Patrick: Yeah. Kat: Or what you're going through now. Patrick: True. Yeah, and then you get stuff and you get so attached to the stuff that you're, that people get scared. And they're so secure, and they get scared to let it go. You know, and in order to get back to the big picture or to get to that next level. Patrick: But I think about the same thing you think too. I've been thinking of like options too. What's the worst that could happen to me? I'd have to go back down, 'cause I'm from the trailer park. So I have to go back down, and live with my dad. Patrick: You know, I'd have to go live with my dad. Which I also think, what's something that I would do as a very high level, once I make it? Once I'm living this fucking life of my dreams. You know what I'm saying? Once I'm like able to go and do anything, and live anywhere, and travel the world like I want to. Which is exactly what I'm gonna do no matter what, in three months when my lease is up. Patrick: I'm really just here because my lease, I have to stay here till this lease is out. You know, then I'm gonna get. Who knows, my lease might be fucked up. Sorry Travis, but he's on the lease with me. Patrick: But me and him are kind of like going hard together. He's on the same journey. And he's just pretty much like "fuck it". He's got into this as well. Riding on him doing well as well. So it's all good, it's not like I'm totally alone on this thing. It's always good to have a friend, but I think like "What's the worst thing that could happen?" Patrick: Right? And then it's just something like, if I went down to my dad's and had to stay down there for like a month. This is something that I would most likely, my higher version of myself. My higher level self who's achieved this, this is something that he would probably do. Anyways. Patrick: Maybe I'm having a good time overseas, and stuff like that. And I'm kinda like, missing the states a little bit, I'm want to just come back and chill with him for like a month. You know? Just post up and just see him for a month. It's probably just something I would do. Patrick: You know? Kat: Yeah right. Patrick: It's just something you would fucking do. Kat: I mean all the fear, reactions, and emotions it's all based on real shit. Like when money's not coming in, that's a true and real thing. But if you put that aside and you come back to what you know is true inside of you, like you fucking know who you are and that you're going wherever you want to go. And anything that you've ever decided to do in your life and you actually meant it, you have already achieved. Kat: And even like, what I said on that video today. Like you've literally helped people make millions of dollars? Patrick: Yup. Kat: And it's just continually putting aside your own ... Like for those who don't know, 'cause you might see this if you go to Patrick's sales page anyway, but it was Patrick's, not idea, but he helped me get out my idea. And actually express it properly, to launch my inner circle. Kat: And my inner circle clients know this. But that's like my highest level thing. I actually said in that video, that it makes hundreds of thousands of dollars. And then when I awoke I was like, hold on. It's on track for a million dollars per year, from one stream of income. Kat: And that was something I'd been trying to bring to fruition, actually since 2013. And I've had a few iterations of it, which just weren't right. And then I got gun shy because I felt like, I just don't fully know how to ... Like I know the vision of what I want, but I couldn't actually get it out of me. And we were sitting on the couch one time and I just was like "Man this is ... I kind of want this, but I don't know." Kat: And he's like typing away doing his thing, and he's like "Oh well you should just ..." I don't know, I wish I could remember what he said. But, blah blah blah blah blah, something something something. And I just remember sitting there going, "How the ... What? Yes, that's exactly it." Kat: It was like you read my thought. Like that's ... You've got the skills is what I'm saying. Right? Like you've helped make or build a business that makes five million dollars a year. These are, like I'm not just sitting here trying to talk you up. Kat: But it's more like, when you feel like "Well what if the worst happened?" Or "What if this or that?" It's like, wait. Look how much I'm already helping people and can help people. It's a done fucking deal. And you'll go through whatever you've got to go through. If you go through some short term period, alright you get rid of all your stuff and it's just you and the camp chair left, you'll probably be happier anyway. Kat: You'll have the freedom you want to move around the world. And like, it doesn't matter. None of it fucking matters. Whatever's going on right now. Like a year from now, you're gonna look back and be like "It was all worth it". Patrick: Yeah. Kat: And it'll be so worth it, because then you can help the people you were meant to help, because you can actually understand it. Like I can understand all that my clients are going through, 'cause I actually went through it. And I was prepared to go through it. Same thing. Patrick: I'm trying to like, enjoy it right now. That's my big goal. You know? Kat: Right. Patrick: I want to enjoy it right now. I want to savour this, and hold onto the moment. And hold onto these moments that I'm here, and learn as much as I can while I'm in these moments. You know? Patrick: Learn as possibly, as much as I possibly can. Experience and feel, and remember as much as I possibly can from these moments. 'Cause once I cross over the line, and it breaks open for me and you know people start buying my stuff then, you know. My big thing is like, how am I gonna feel after that happens? Patrick: You know, I'm gonna feel great. I'm gonna feel great, but I'm also gonna be transforming, I'm gonna also have transformed into something else. You know, and it's gonna be just ... I don't know. I don't know how I'm gonna deal with that. Patrick: That's one of my deep thoughts right there for you, if you will. So. Kat: I don't think you change. I don't know, like I don't think I've changed. Like my surroundings have changed. I don't think I'm any different to who I was years ago. I think you remember. Kat: But also because you are actually talking about it openly now you'll just be able to watch your own video advice. Patrick: Say again? Kat: Because you're actually talking about it while you're going through it, you're documenting it. So you're not gonna forget because you're gonna have the videos. Kat: But I don't think you forget. I don't forget any of that stuff. I can remember all the feelings and the emotions of it. And sometimes I think maybe I take having money for granted, or like the kind of [inaudible 00:23:00]. Kat: Like that I never look at prices anymore. Sometimes maybe I take it for granted, but not really. Because I do still, very frequently have moments where I'm like "holy shit", like is this even real? Like how is this possible, it's really only been, you know, a small handful of years since it seems like an impossible dream. But then I always .. Patrick: You've been doing this fucking shit for like 20 years. Kat: 20 years, how old do you think I am? Patrick: No, I'm saying like you been doing this since you were like 10. Since you were like one year old. Kat: One year old? Actually it was three. But, thank you. Patrick: There you go. Yeah. Rounding up. Kat: But I was making money, but I was not holding onto the money. I was in debt, and you know. I was bottoming out. I sold my house that I owned. And that like, make like 30 grand profit on that, and that just disappeared. And then I sold my Audi, which was like my first nice car, an Audi '04. And I loved that car so much, and that money disappeared. And then I sold my little Chinese share portfolio, that I had from my 20s when I was trying to get serious about wealth, and then that money disappeared. Kat: And then I was even trying to sell shit on Ebay, but back then I didn't have like Channel purses to sell on Ebay. I had things that I was selling for five dollars. But it was really like, every little dollar counted. And then I would go and buy groceries, and I'd get like 30 dollars worth of groceries and I would go through the checkout. And I would never just like, check my bank account because I couldn't handle the fear. Kat: So I'd just go through the checkout, and basically pray that the card would go through. And sometimes it would, and sometimes it wouldn't. And you just keep going one day at a time, but even though you'd feel like "what if it never works, and what if I'm crazy?" And what if, all the stuff that you think, that everyone thinks. Kat: But then when you put all that emotion aside, you go back into your core and you go "but I do fucking know though." Patrick: Right. Kat: Like when I get out of the drama, I know. Like I just fucking know. It's not up for discussion. I will keep picking myself back up again, until I get there. And then ... Kat: Now I'm so fucking grateful for all that. And I do remember so much of it. I'm so fucking grateful that it's over. But I'm so fucking grateful I went through it. Because it made me so strong. Like I feel like, I have such high levels of resilience and tenacity and those are some of the most important characteristics for us. For entrepreneurs. Patrick: Absolutely. And you know I think ... Kat: It is what you said. Like embracing it now. Patrick: Well, you know, the think is too, is that I say all this stuff to you and then you just make me think too, that like I've already been here before. And I already overcame. And I'm already pretty much hacked this stuff, you know. Just by being able ... Just like I remember the first time that I actually sold something. Because whenever I first started working with Ryan, it was like he found me. Patrick: 'Cause I quit my job at the car dealership right? Went through a bad breakup, and it just made me realise, fucking life isn't for me to be putting all my happiness ... It isn't meant for me putting all my happiness into somebody else. That's kind of what kick started, and had me first say "fuck it all". You know? Patrick: And so I quit my job at the car dealership. I just walked in and it ... This was such a big moment in my life. That I didn't even like, have the questioning or anything like that about that. There was nothing that would've made me stay there. You know? Kat: Yeah. Patrick: This is like such a earth shattering thing to happen to me. I guess I was like, I guess I must been about 26 or 27. And it was just, I had put all my chips into this thing, you know? And thought I was getting engaged and this stuff, and like that you know? And then it came crashing down. Patrick: And I found out she was married to some dude in prison. Long story short. But it was, I just put so much stock into this thing you know? And then it just fucking like, came crashing down. And that was when I first saw the reality, kind of like shift. You know? Patrick: And I saw this for what it is. And once I started like picking back up the pieces of everything, I just realised like, it's not supposed to be like this. You know? It's not supposed to be, to where I give other things power and control of me. Patrick: For example, job, security, things like that. And I really just, really, really saw that. Like about a week or two afterwards, you know, after we had called everything off, and everything like that. And I just remember it clear as day. I was just like, immediately started selling all my shit off. And started to trim up. And I started to figure out ways to get out of there. Patrick: I mean I was not gonna stay there very long, but I eventually, it just... fuck it ...

Drew is joined by Patrick Shanahan for another round of Tradecraft - this time featuring a tool for postcard marketing, and a chat app that reveals what your customers really want.Subscribe: iTunes | StitcherEXCLUSIVE RESOURCE: Prefer to read rather than listen? the text transcribe from this episode.HighlightsDrew is off to travel the world with family in tow, expect new episodes from sandy beaches and other exotic locales.A new emphasis on video contentA shopify app to trigger the sending of physical postcards to people in your databaseWho to make the target of your postcard marketingA chat app Patrick uses to get in touch with what his customers really wantHow to collect customer feedback into something actionableLinks / ResourcesMore Tradecraft in Episode 28 and Episode 30.PostPilot.comDriftTranscriptPrefer to read rather than listen to the podcast episode? No problem, you can and I will send it to you as a PDF. → Read the Transcript Drew: Everybody, welcome to the Nerd Marketing podcast. This is Drew Sanocki and I am joined today by Patrick Shanahan, my trade craft partner. How're you doing, Patrick? Patrick: Good, Drew. Nice to talk to you again.Drew: Today we're going to go over some tips and tricks, what we see working out there, what's helping us do our jobs better as online marketers. You've got a couple things, Patrick? Patrick: I do, I do. I've got one I'm quite pleased with, so I'm fired up to talk about it.Drew: I think people like these episodes. They like hearing what's working.Patrick: Yeah, they do. I mean, I've looked at your stats, they're the most downloaded so obviously it's working. So, you just come off your big talking circuit, I know you talked about that in the last episode, but you're about to go full vagabond. Hit the road. Want to tell us about that?Drew: Yeah, it's something really exciting my wife and I've wanted to do for a long time so next Saturday we're packing up, and we're going to the Caribbean, and we're not coming back to New York for probably six months. I think that we're not going to be in the Caribbean the entire time, but we'll do Central America, and Europe. We're taking the kids, obviously. We're really looking forward to it.I mean, we're stressed about the packing and getting everything done and we're trying to liquidate a lot of our personal belongings that we really don't care about or want to store, but with any luck it'll all come together by next Saturday when we're on that flight.Patrick: Amazing, amazing. I can't believe you're taking the kids. That's going to be an adventure, buddy.Drew: Yeah, we debated leaving them at home for six months, but we thought we should... we thought they'd miss us so we're going to take them with us.Patrick: Well, congratulations, that's amazing. And are you going to stay podcasting? Drew: No, I'm shutting down the podcast for six months. No, I'm going to... I'm going to keep podcasting, I'm going to do some video. A lot more video. Maybe not quite as much writing, the long form emails, they take up a lot of time, so I think I can try to move a little more into video and audio for the next six months.Patrick: There we go, so the future dispatches will be from sandy beaches and other places hither, and thither, and yon.Drew: Yeah, you know, I feel like I've got a lot of things I want to cover. We've been talking a lot about this concept of a cash flow business, or a lifestyle business, and we're just scratching the surface. We're talking about customer problems and brand, and there's a lot more I want to talk about on that and what I see working for you, Patrick, for me, at Nerd, and through my own consulting. So I want to share that on the podcast.And, really, I think video's going to be a great medium for that. So, maybe you'll see a lot more of me now that I'm leaving the country.Patrick: Maybe the best thing that every happened to the podcast, you actually have the time to focus on it and [inaudible 00:03:23].

Patrick Guest is an Australian children's author, Olympic physiotherapist, and father of three. He is most noted for his children's books That's What Wings Are For - dedicated to children with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, and their parents, and The Ricker Racker Club, written for his boys when their baby sister joined the family. Find out more about Patrick's work at PatrickGuest.com.au. What you'll learn: 1. What Patrick's first career was, and why he gave it up for writing.2. The true story that inspired Patrick to write That's What Wings Are For.3. How The Ricker Racker Club is being used to touch and inspire school children in Melbourne, Australia. 4. What success means to him. FULL TRANSCRIPT Elizabeth: Welcome to Writers’ Tête-à-tête with Elizabeth Harris, the show that connects authors, songwriters and poets with a global audience. So I can continue to bring you high-calibre guests, I invite you to go to iTunes, click Subscribe, leave a review, and share this podcast with your friends. I’m delighted to introduce children’s author Patrick Guest (PG) – father of three, Olympic physiotherapist, children’s author. Patrick Guest – born into an ever loving, ever growing family, 7 siblings, in the beachside suburb of Seaford, Melbourne, Australia. Patrick was blessed with all the things that make a childhood magical – plenty of family, friends and freedom to explore this wonderful world. An assortment of careers along the way – cobbler, elephant washer, failed accountant, anatomy demonstrator at Monash Uni, national team physio for Mozambique. Little wonder he’s been dubbed the Forrest Gump of Frankston. Adventures and stories seem to follow him around and now he’s writing them down. 5 books, (signed with a little hair) in the past 2 years, many more in the pipeline. Patrick Guest, welcome to Writers’ Tête-à-tête with Elizabeth Harris. Patrick: Great to be here, Elizabeth. Elizabeth: Great to have you here, Patrick, on this lovely sunny day in Melbourne, believe it or not, we’ve got the sun. Patrick, we recently discovered we attended the same secondary college.  Patrick: We did. Elizabeth: I had to smile when I read you initially became an accountant. Please tell my listeners about that transgression - and how you escaped. Patrick: Ah, the transgression. Let’s start with that. Look. Fear, insecurity, there was a recession kicking in. But really I think, as a 17-year-old, having to work out what subjects to choose, I didn’t know how to make that decision at 17. Elizabeth: So you did Economics … is that right? Patrick: Economics, Accounting, Legal Studies, Maths. I was really probably inspired at that time by my favourite TV show, Family Ties – Michael J. Fox. Elizabeth: Wasn’t he great? He’s great. Still. Patrick: At the time, I think back now – what a dork he was – it probably says a lot about what a dork I was and still am. I thought he was cool. Elizabeth: He was funny, and you’re funny. Patrick: He was cool, and I thought “Who do I want to be like?”, and I thought “Michael J. Fox”. I went down the corporate path, which was a terrible decision. I don’t regret it – I made some friends for life, and I realized early on that money doesn’t make you happy. Elizabeth: It’s such an important lesson at that age, isn’t it, cause many people learn that quite late, if at all. Patrick: Yeah, so that’s something that has stayed with me, and I’m really grateful. Elizabeth: Was there a pivotal moment when you realized “This accounting thing is just not me”? Was there an incident? Patrick: There was. Elizabeth: Can you share that, or is that private? Patrick: No, no, let’s share this. It’s all about sharing in this session. So I’m walking down Flinders St Station, and I’m walking down in my suit and tie, down the ramp… Elizabeth: How old were you at the time? Patrick: It would have been in my first year out of graduation, maybe 22 or something. 21, 22. Walking down the ramp, with cattle class, just walking down, we were all off to work. Against the flow, this lady came through the crowd and just gently put her hand on me and said, “Smile!” Elizabeth: (Laughter) I promise you it wasn’t me. Patrick: She just said “Smile” and I’m walking down – I must have looked so miserable. Elizabeth: Was she an angel or a real person? Patrick: I don’t know. But I hear where you’re coming from there, because from that moment – and I blame Banjo Patterson – and maybe my dad for putting me onto Banjo. Elizabeth: Why? It’s good to blame other people, isn’t it? Patrick: My favourite Australian poem would be The Great Clancy of the Great Overflow… Elizabeth: Oh wonderful. Patrick: …And where Banjo writes: And the hurrying people daunt me, and their pallid faces haunt me   As they shoulder one another in their rush and nervous haste, With their eager eyes and greedy, and their stunted forms and weedy,    For townsfolk have no time to grow, they have no time to waste.   So that poem was just ringing in my ears as I was off to the office sitting there, and from that moment I had come to the end of my fancy – I had a lot to change with Clancy. But I doubt he’d suit the office, Clancy of the Overflow. And for someone who had had that instilled in him, the spirit of adventure at a very young age, and parents – wonderful parents that had fostered that– and here I am in this shoebox, little partitioned office thing, and it just wasn’t for me. Elizabeth: Soul-destroying. Patrick: Soul-destroying. For some people it isn’t, and some of my best friends have continued along that path, and it’s a great path for them, but for me it wasn’t. Elizabeth: We need everybody, don’t we, the array of professions and tradespeople, everybody to do their bit. But you had much more important things in store, Patrick. Which brings me to – our school was really quite traditional in lots of ways, being a Catholic coed college, with all the gender bias that goes with that. And I remember going back to Economics, and I remember being one of the few girls in Chemistry and Economics, because it was always the boys who were going to be the accountants, and the girls were going to be teachers or nurses. And in fact I did go on to be a nurse, but I was very happy to do that. So to me in our school, there was a real gender bias. And you address this in your fantastic book, The Ricker Racker Club. Can you tell us more about this great book please? Patrick: The Ricker Racker Club is based on a real club, invented by real people: my two boys, Noah and Reuben. So Noah and Reuben were roughly 4 and 3 at the time when the Ricker Racker Club was formed. And there was one hard and fast rule: No Girls. (Laughter) There were a few other rules: do something incredibly brave, do something incredibly kind, but the real rock-solid rule was No Girls. And then what happened… Elizabeth: I’m sure that’s changed now. Patrick: …They had themselves a sister, little Gracie. Gracie was born, and really the story of The Ricker Racker Club is what happened next after Gracie. Now Gracie is perfectly named. She is pure grace, she is pure joy. She does have an intellectual disability, and her capacity for joy is extraordinary. And she would – as happens in the book – walk up to the wolf next door and give the wolf a big hug. Her courage, her kindness, her unique joy, won the boys over very quickly. They won us all over, and the story sprung from there. Really, it’s a celebration of the joys of being a kid, and the innocence of these rules. They’re not coming from a nasty place, these rules – just boys being boys. But then, just the power of kindness, if there’s one thing that runs through all my books, it’s the power of kindness… Elizabeth: Yes, definitely. Patrick: …to change hearts. So that’s how that happened. And really The Ricker Racker Club is about a father saying to his two sons, “Be good to your sister.” Elizabeth: And you do it so well, Patrick. Patrick: And so it’s done really well. Elizabeth: When did you know you wanted to be a writer? Patrick: From the moment I could write. So I started very young. I do remember a series, ‘Powerful Patrick’. And I must have been about 5 or 6. I was doing the pictures back then and I was stapling them together, making these little books. And I’m sure Mum and Dad delighted in them. But I’m not sure anyone else did. Elizabeth: Have you still got them? Patrick: I haven’t been able to find them. Elizabeth: Oh no. Patrick: I hope I can find them one day. Mum was always a little bit of a hoarder, so it’ll be somewhere in the house. They’re still in the same place I grew up in, so they’ll be somewhere in that house. So I’ve been a natural storyteller my whole life. The vehicle for that telling a story was just verbal stories and emails and love letters to Lisa my wife … I’ve always found a way to put things on paper. But certainly through the barren accounting years, then really trying to work out where my lane was that had been lying dormant, and then the birth of Noah – my first son, Noah – came a flood of stories and the desire to get these things down on paper. The rest is history. Elizabeth: What was it particularly about that event - the birth of Noah – that opened the floodgates, so to speak? Patrick: Well the birth itself…even before the birth I was starting to work on a book. But it’s, I think it’s just this natural, just as we have a desire to breathe, have food and water, a desire to be heard and understood, and then as a parent, it’s just this innate desire to share stories and to bond through stories. Elizabeth: Legacy. Patrick: Legacy. What my dad did was the same with me. My grandfather – I vividly remember my grandfather declaring over me that “You’re going to be an author one day.” Elizabeth: Oh wow. Did he write? Patrick: My grandfather, no. It was more my grandmother – she was a gifted storyteller. She kissed the Blarney Stone a few times, Ma, and... So it’s flowed through, that Blarney Stone – the kissing of the Blarney Stone gift has been passed through, through Grandmother to my dad. Elizabeth: We have a similar heritage then. Patrick There you go. And I can see it in my kids as well. Noah and Reuben, they love telling stories and they love hearing stories. So it’s been passed on for sure. Elizabeth: That’s fantastic. Can you advise all the aspiring writers out there how to get started, and more importantly, how to keep going? Patrick: How to get started… I can only speak, maybe quote Oscar Wilde: “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.” So I can only speak from the authority of my own experience. I don’t have a technique or a tactic or a ritual that I go through. I pray. I pray, and one thing that I’ll say to people when asked this question – again I don’t want to get too preachy here – but if you want to get creative, it helps to get in touch with your Creator. That’s all I can say. That might be a bit controversial but for some ears, but that’s what works for me. I don’t get on my knees and say “God, give me another book!” Elizabeth: “Give me a bestseller or a …” Patrick: “Give me a bestseller!” What I actually do is I surrender my agenda. Elizabeth: So ego is left aside. Patrick: Ego is left aside, and any preconceived ideas are left aside. So I’m not sitting there going “Give me inspiration”. I’m giving myself out, and saying “Take away”. Elizabeth: Use me, as a conduit. Patrick: “Use me”, and if that’s to be the best barista in Mornington, or go back to my cobbling beginnings, or elephant-washing beginnings, so be it. So most of – no, really all of – my flashes of inspiration you could say… There’s that great poem by Rumi, Listening, where he says, “When that voice speaks, may I sell my tongue and buy a thousand ears.” So when I’m hearing that voice, that is always followed by a period of prayerfulness or meditation which just opens up that creativity. Sounds easy. I know when I hear that voice, and I sell my tongue, I know that there’s a double emotion. Joy, and dread. Because I know that I’m in for some hard work. Elizabeth: ‘Cause writing can be hard work, can’t it. And the discipline that’s required – and you know you may not particularly feel like writing that day – but you have to put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Patrick: Yes, so back to the question, which was “How do we keep going?” How do we start? For me, I don’t really start until I’ve heard the voice, I’ve heard that voice, I’ve heard that spark of inspiration. How do I keep going? I know that I won’t have peace until it’s done. So I’m listening to that voice but I also know that it’s a collaboration after that. So I’m seeking opportunities to get it on paper or get it onto the computer. And they are taken in the busyness of my life with 3 young kids and a fulltime job as a physio. I have to be creative just to find that time. So often it’s my wonderful patients – patient patients – lying on the physio plinth – and I’ll just seek an opportunity to say, “Now that you’ve got all those needles all over you, there’s no way to run out of here. Would you mind listening to my latest? What do you think of it?” Elizabeth: Do they come back for another appointment after that, Patrick? Patrick: Normally they do. I don’t think I’ve managed to scare anyone off yet. Elizabeth: I might need to book for a session. Do I have to have a needle? Patrick: Not always, but it does – has that influence on my clinical judgment. Might be, if I’m honest. But I call it ‘bibliotherapy’. That works well, so I’m looking for opportunity. Sometimes I’ll pull the car over and send myself a text message for a sentence. Or middle of the night, off to the computer, or scribbling in bed on a bit of paper. I don’t have a routine about how to get these things down. Elizabeth: 2 a.m. is a common time for me to receive a sentence too. Patrick: In the shower can be a good place – you can scratch it into the wall, into the mist, write it down, whatever it is. But I’m in the posture of seeking the opportunity to find that time to write that down once I’ve heard that voice. Elizabeth: Can we talk about your work – who you work with, the wonderful men and women that you care for? Can we talk about that? Patrick: Yes, so 2 days a week, I work at the medical centre at Victoria Barracks, which is a service based in Melbourne. They are wonderful, so when I first started working for the military, I had a bit of a chip on my shoulder about war and the work of the military. Elizabeth: In what way? Patrick: I’d been a bit of a hippie, a bit of a peace lover, a bit biased against the war machine, or whether it’s a valuable service that the Army and Navy and Air Force offer. And then you get to meet these people and hear their stories. Elizabeth: Amazing. Patrick: Amazing, the sacrifice made. I see the plague of PTSD is becoming more public or known as an extension of the epidemic of general mental health problems in the world. As a physio you get a front row seat really, and you get the rare – it’s a real privilege to offer probably two of the greatest needs of the human being: to be heard and understood, and to be touched. Elizabeth: Yes. Beautiful. Patrick: To be touched. There aren’t many mainstream medical professionals that offer both. So as a physio you’re in a really good place and space to offer that service and in that way to gather stories. So in that way it does feed into the other half of my career, which is becoming more than half really, the writing side of things, and the gathering of stories from the confessional plinth is part of that, and the sharing of stories is part of that. Elizabeth: They’re exceptionally lucky to have you. Patrick: Goes both ways. Elizabeth: You’ve had wonderful success with your book sales. What does success mean to you? Patrick: About three bucks fifty? (Laughter) So I remember when my amazing editor and publisher Margrete Lamond sat me down – we met face to face for the first time – she’s based in New South Wales – one of her first pieces of advice was “Don’t give up your day job!” Elizabeth: I’ve had the same advice before. Patrick: So in terms of success it’s been humbling and mind-blowing to think that That’s What Wings Are For – my first book – has cracked the magical 10,000 books sold in Australia within 6 months. Elizabeth: Wow. Congratulations. That’s wonderful. Patrick: So now we’re into our second year of sales. I’m not sure where we’re up to now, but has been picked up internationally and translated internationally to Chinese and Korean and several other languages. What does it mean to me? It means that – it gives me a voice, a chance to talk to your lovely self, and to visit schools. I love that side of being a writer. Most writers are more comfortable in a darkened room tapping away. To my surprise, I was a very reluctant public speaker but I absolutely love going out to the schools. On Wednesday, I had a full school assembly, hundreds of kids there, and the audience and ability to speak and share… Elizabeth: ‘Cause you make that fun, don’t you. We’re just going back to The Ricker Racker Club for a moment, and can we know how you make that fun for the kids? ‘Cause the parents listening there would be really interested – we know we’re there to do hard work but school can be fun as well. So how do you make it fun for them, Patrick? Patrick: Well, The Ricker Racker Club – I invite everyone to join this very exclusive club, The Ricker Racker Club, IF they pass the test. So I read the story, but along the way we pause and issue challenges to the members of the audience to come up on behalf of the whole school, see if they can pass this test. So we follow the story. And one of the characters is Max, and in the first week he sticks his head into the fox’s hole. So I make up a little fox’s hole, and find a willing kid to stick his head into this fox’s hole. The whole school are counting 20 seconds and I bring out this little stuffed fox. So the poor kid doesn’t know I’m tiptoeing up behind him and “Raaaahhh!” Elizabeth: (Laughter) Do you get a lot of screams? Patrick: We get a few of those, and then the villain of the book is this wolf next door, which is based on a great German Shepherd that lived next door to me, and I have the scar to prove, the moment the basketball flew over the fence. I rescued the basketball – and Chance (the dog’s name was Chance) – got me. And so the wolf next door – it would normally have a wolf suit – and it’s normally the PE teacher who dresses up as a wolf. Elizabeth: Would you go to our school? They’d love you. Patrick: I’d love to. Elizabeth: Ours is a service school, so you’ll like it. Ours is a service school, so we have a lot of service families that go to... Nice connection for you. Patrick: I’d love to come out. Absolutely. So the kids build up and up and at the end, “Who wants to join this club?” “Yeah!” “Who wants to learn the secret password?” “Yeah!” So I force it down a little and say, “Unfortunately you haven’t done quite enough yet.” Elizabeth: (Laughter) Oh my, the kids will go “Oh what?” Patrick: So it’s a case of “Do not put up your hand, do not raise your hand, unless you are extremely brave.” All the hands go up. “I mean it, I’m warning you now – extremely brave.” Elizabeth: What age group are we looking at, with the hands going up? Patrick: Prep, all the way to 6. Elizabeth: The whole school, wow. Patrick: At this point, some of the Grade 6s I can tell – folded their arms; it’s a bit babyish for them. So picture it: I do target them a bit at this point. So I’ll normally look for the guy who’s lost interest – the kid can be too cool for school here. And I’ll grab this fellow and bring him up. “So on behalf of the school, let’s talk about Courage. Courage comes in many forms. You’ve already demonstrated Courage by standing up in front of the whole school. But Courage comes in many forms. The courage to make a mistake when you know it’s going to get you in trouble. You’re scared of something. And then there’s taste buds. So we go back to Week 3, if you were listening, what did Zack do in Week 3?” And he’ll say “I’m sorry, I can’t remember.” Again in a loud voice, “What did Zack do in Week 3?” And you get the book out again: Zack drank a tomato sauce milkshake. At this point I’m standing behind him with milk, and then I bring out the tomato sauce. And what’s he do now? At this point he’s shaking his head ‘no’. And the school have already started the chant without encouragement: “Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!” So I make this milkshake, this foaming tomato sauce milkshake… Elizabeth: Oh no. Patrick: And I pause again and say “Unfortunately my friend, Zack did that for one person. You’re doing it for 700 people right now. That’s not enough. So I look around – I shop for the largest Brussel sprout I can find. And I bring out this Brussel sprout, drop it into the tomato sauce milkshake, and present it to this fellow. Elizabeth: Poor kid. Patrick: The poor kid. Originally, I used this – it occurred to me that this is peer group pressure of the highest order. So I now use this as an opportunity for this poor unfortunate kid to – they’re saying no at this point – I really esteem that courage. I say “Look, you have done something extraordinarily brave. Everyone here at some point is going to face a baying crowd of people saying ‘Drink! Drink!’ or whatever. Elizabeth: That’s so clever, Patrick. Patrick: And to say no in the face of that, is true Courage. So I give him a round of applause and he sits down. “Now who wants to be a legend?” (Laughter) So someone else comes up. Or I’ll turn it into the “What would the kind person do now?” Or even better. “Maybe there’s a teacher in the audience…” Elizabeth: So what I’ll do is I’ll leave it there, because if the school listens to that one they won’t book you. I will leave them in suspense. When I first read That’s What Wings Are For, I was sitting in a coffee shop, with tears rolling down my cheeks. The other patrons respectfully averted their eyes. And you know you’ve found a great book when so much emotion is ... Can you please tell us about your inspiration for That’s What Wings Are For? Patrick: So That’s What Wings Are For … Maybe I can mention one of my favourite poems of all time, which is The Hound of Heaven. The Hound of Heaven, for those who don’t know, written more than a hundred years ago by a homeless opium addict in London, Francis Thompson. So he was asking the big question: how could a loving God allow such suffering in the world, and particularly in his own life? And the penny starts to drop about halfway through. He says maybe, just maybe, You allow us in Your love to burn and burn until we become charcoal, and You pick us up and You create Your masterpiece. So That’s What Wings Are For – I’m not calling it a masterpiece – it certainly came from a burning charcoal in process. And that process was the great sadness in my life. My son Noah has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, which is a devastating condition that involves the wasting of muscles. And the heart’s a muscle, and it’s a devastating disease. So in light of that I was asked to write a book about a certain blue dragon Bluey, who is the mascot for all the families affected by this devastating disease. So I was working on another book at the time, and I was asked to write this book. And I jumped at the chance, but I also knew there was a heavy responsibility writing that. So really you can look globally at that and look at the whole community impacted by that, but really it was a love letter from a father to a son. Elizabeth: Beautiful. Patrick: And that’s how it was written, and that is something I do say when I go out to the schools. You’ve heard Ricker Racker – it’s quite a boisterous, joyous occasion. When I go out to talk about That’s What Wings Are For, I basically start off in a fun way, and then I bring it back sharply and I say, I bring out Bluey, the actual mascot, a blue plush teddy, and I say “I actually met Bluey on the worst day of my life.” And to have a school go from being quite boisterous, and the teachers go “Shh! Shh! Shh!” to your pin drop in one sentence… Elizabeth: Wow, that’s powerful. Patrick: They get it. They get it. From the preppies all the way up to the Grade 6s, they get it, and there’s a real reverence suddenly about the book and why it was written. And then I explain what’s happened from there and we go from there. I still struggle to read it without crying, but they are tears of – what will I say - I heard this line yesterday – “what we sow with tears, we reap with shouts of joy”. And there’s something joyous – it’s bigger than me, this thing. It’s bigger than me. Elizabeth: What you’ve created is magnificent. Patrick: Thank you. Elizabeth: You’re welcome. You mentioned in an interview that 80% of That’s What Wings Are For was written over breakfast with your family, and then one sentence that brought tears to your eyes took you 3 months to write. Can you please share that sentence with my listeners and what it was that finally led you to discover the sentence that made you cry? Patrick: What it was was my incredible ego. I just – it went to my head. The idea of being a published author and all this went absolutely to my head. Elizabeth: Well you are only human after all. (Laughter) Patrick: Well, I’m sitting back there, I’m imagining red carpets, imagining walking up the stairs. It was shocking! And here I am, I’ve written a book for my sick kid, and my ego’s having a field day. At this point I hadn’t even had the manuscript finished… Elizabeth: You were strutting around… Patrick: It was appalling. I’m embarrassed about it, at the way I was carrying on in my head anyway. So we needed – Bluey needed a reason to be doing what he did ultimately, which is find a reason for his wings. And I was trying all these sentences about sending him off to Margrete, and very gently and respectfully she would be saying “That is rubbish.” (Laughter) Elizabeth: Thanks Margrete. She just knew there was more to you – she knows how deep you are. Patrick: She knew how to push the buttons and what’s right. And equally my wife Lisa as well. And more so my wife Lisa, she has a great ability to tell me when I’m writing something that’s rubbish - and good as well. Elizabeth: Good. Patrick: So the to-ing and fro-ing went on for months. And then I had this moment of “You complete goose! What are you doing?” And certainly at that moment I decided that every cent from this book would be given to charity, which it always should have been anyway, and I made that decision, and entered some prayer and reflection, and within really minutes of making that decision – within minutes – I was given this sentence. And I have to set the context of that time. And at the time we had a crudely termed … we called it a ‘year of adventure’ – you could call it a bucket list, and we were doing all sorts of things around the world. So the sentence – Bluey was coming back from the Royal Children’s Hospital. It was broadened to be a magical building filled with magical creatures with all sorts of ailments. So at that moment when Bluey looks out, and when I’m reading the story to the school, I’ll have people close their eyes and put their hands on their hearts, and feel. Elizabeth: Which I’m going to do now. Patrick: And if you keep feeling, you’ll feel something. You may not feel it straightaway, but if you keep trying, you’ll get there. You’ll feel something warm and fuzzy. And that feeling has a name; it has lots of names. Kindness, and hope, and love, and what happens – and at this moment, Bluey looks across, and I share this sentence: “Bluey saw the boy’s soft, floppy legs, and at that moment, something happened in Bluey’s heart. He stopped for that moment thinking so much about his own situation, and he looked inward. He looked out, and saw this boy sharing a similar path. That word ‘empathy’. That changed everything for Bluey; it helped him work out what his wings were for.” So we go on from there. Elizabeth: Beautiful. That compassion for another person. The author-illustrator relationship is such a pivotal one. Can you describe what is important to you in such a relationship? Patrick: Respect, and trust, and space. So ‘let there be space in your togetherness’. Certainly for the first two books – the first one, Daniella Germain, extraordinary talent. And then the same with Nathanial Eckstrom, rising superstar of the illustration world. So first book, I had no contact at all with Daniella until after all the illustrations were done. Had no input into the illustrations at all. So in terms of relationship, it’s one of trust. Slightly different with the second book – some feedback. Poor Nathanial, I saw his amazing illustrations, but – and it was amazing that he managed to draw my 3 kids without having seen a photo of them, quite accurately – except for Gracie wears glasses. And I just politely asked whether he might pop glasses on Poppy (Gracie is named Poppy in the book). So he went back and put glasses on. Then I had a look at that and thought, “No. Makes her look too old now. Can you take the glasses off?” So that was a bit of a diva moment for me, I suppose. But other than that it really is letting go and not being too precious and trusting in the selection of the illustrator – that’s up to the publisher – and I trust Margrete to make that decision, and she hasn’t failed me yet. I know how she is with me with the words, and she’s that way again with the illustrator. Elizabeth: What a wonderful person to find! Patrick: She is great, she’s fantastic. Elizabeth: What are you working on at the moment? Patrick: Well, the undercurrent to all the picture books that have been picked up in the last couple of years has been a novel for children called The Last Secret of Ernie Pigwinkle, and I’ve been working on the story for more than 10 years. And it comes and goes, and then another idea overrides that. But I keep coming back to The Last Secret of Ernie Pigwinkle. That is lying dormant again, but I know I will go back to that, so there’s always that in the background. That story is the story of an old man who loves to tell stories. And he has this great secret. Great secret, that he's burning with this secret, to share it with his grandson Arthur. Long story short, he gets invited to the World Storytelling Competition in Marrakesh, Morocco, up against the greats of storytelling. Professor Chinwag from China, Lord Blabbermouth from England. I won’t give too much away, but he makes it to the final and he tells this great secret, but the secret is revealed slowly as the story goes along. Elizabeth: Suspense right through… Patrick: Right through. It has been a lot of hard work, also joy, and I have a sense that one day it will happen. I’ve also recently finished another picture book manuscript that is very, very dear to my heart, called Tiny Dancer. Elizabeth: The Elton John song. Patrick: The Elton John song, so hopefully Sir Elton will approve, and that’s really dear to my heart, and I’m in an acquisitions meeting on that one. And we’re in the process of illustrating and that process does involve some word changes. My next release which will be next year, I thought that was going to be a book called The Second Sky. It sounds like – based on this week’s emails – it sounds like it will be called Rabby the Brave. Elizabeth: You’re just prolific – you’re pounding on aren’t you, one after the other. Patrick: Look, it’s been a blessed couple of years. There’s been a very rich vein of inspiration and creativity that’s happening at the moment. Really grateful. Elizabeth: We’re very, very pleased too, I must say. Can’t wait to read them. What do you like to do in your spare time to unwind from all this work you’re doing – the physio work with the military, your family, and all this wonderful writing you’re doing? What do you do to unwind? Patrick: I’m clinging to my childhood in terms of chasing a bouncy ball around. I still play basketball. There’s a competition going on in Victoria Barracks actually, so at the ripe old age of 45, I’m taking on the burly soldiers, I’m taking on the burly soldiers in this basketball competition. Elizabeth: Well you have to keep up on being brave. (Laughter) Patrick: I love it. I must say I’m shamelessly, every goal I score – there aren’t many of them – I’m celebrating them like they could be my last. So there’s the fist pump and the whooping after every goal I score. And would you believe I’m still sort of – don’t let Lisa know but I’m still playing football. Full contact. There’s a wonderful competition – Reclink, midweek, battlers’ competition. You may have heard of the Choir of Hard Knocks – Reclink was spawned from it and there’s a football league for battlers, whether it be homeless refugees or people battling addiction. So we’ve set up a team in Frankston, and I’ve been the … Elizabeth: You are brave. (Laughter) Patrick: Madness, absolute madness. And so I’ve been the physio, the chaplain, the halfback flank and the water boy, whatever goes on, whatever’s needed for that team. And there’s just something primal about playing Australian Rules football that I just can’t let go of. And if I ever get the chance, I’ll go out surfing as well. Elizabeth: Isn’t it great to tap into that raw energy and just let yourself go? Patrick: It is. With surfing, it’s one of the few pastimes or sports where you spend 95% of the time staring at the horizon. So you get a chance to unwind – then it goes from the serenity to scrambling for your life. It’s great. Elizabeth: It’s a bit of a metaphor, isn’t it? Patrick: It’s great. Yes, so those are the 3 main things. Elizabeth: Do you want to remain in the children’s book genre? Patrick: Absolutely. Maybe one day a book for grownups, but certainly at the moment I’m loving – when you write a picture book, you are writing for grownups – you’re writing for two generations. Elizabeth: It’s that connection, I think, with parent-child. It’s so special. And you both learn so much when you’re reading together. Patrick: Absolutely. And I’ve been trying to make the transition from picture books into early readers, and I’ve found that quite hard. I might have to leapfrog that and go into older early readers. Because to go from a picture book to an early reader is – you got to dumb it down. You really have to dumb it down. That’s a crude way of saying it, but you do. There are certain concepts you have to avoid, and using poetry or metaphors is a bit more tricky. So maybe that’s not for me, that niche. So certainly The Last Secret of Ernie Pigwinkle is for an older reader, an older young reader. And then the picture books as well. I might stick to those, to genres within the broader children’s book genre for now. We’ll see what happens after. Elizabeth: You’re so insightful. Because you haven’t actually studied Creative Writing or completed a formal uni degree in writing, and yet your knowledge is so vast. Is you’re your intuition at play again, do you think? Patrick: Not sure. I think it’s a blessing. Don’t want to use the word ‘gift’, but I think it’s nothing to be proud of if it’s a gift. Elizabeth: I really have to disagree, because so many people are given, receive gifts, it’s then what you do with that gift. And so many people do not do anything with what they’ve been blessed with. I do think you can claim that proudly and whoop, like on a footy field. (Laughter) Patrick: Maybe. I do love whooping when there’s a sense of victory, a sense of accomplishment – once you finish that manuscript, submit to send, and you know it’s off, and have such a beautiful relationship with Margrete. I should mention Alyson O’Brien, who is also with Little Hare – I’m increasingly involved with her. I know that they will read it and give it the full attention and get back to me quite quickly, so that agonizing wait has been reduced to, in some cases, a few hours now, which is great. Elizabeth: It’s cause you’re so clever, and they know it. Do you have a website or blog, Patrick, that my listeners can go to find out more about your wonderful work? Patrick: Yes, there’s a shiny new website, “Patrick Guest dot com dot au”. I know nothing about the technical side of websites, and a great friend of mine, Jeffrey County, has helped set that up, and it’s sparkling. Elizabeth: Aren’t tech people great? I’m not one of those. Patrick: Absolutely not. Absolutely not. There’s no way I could do that. So that’s up and running now, so there’s opportunity to email me and contact me through that. Happy to do that. Elizabeth: Patrick, this is a signature question that I ask all my guests. What do you wish for, for the world, and most importantly, for yourself? Patrick: That’s a big one. Look, the first thing that springs to mind is a cure for Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. Elizabeth: I’m with you. Patrick: That would be the first thing. But if I thought more about it, more broadly… Maybe I could go back to Ernie Pigwinkle, The Last Secret of Ernie Pigwinkle. So I’ll give away a little bit, so we get to the end of the story. We’re at the World Storytelling Championships, so Ernie, this old man from Ballarat, has made the final and won, thanks to his grandson. So the secret starts off as “Do you know why dogs wag their tails?” We move on from there to “Why dogs and cats fight – the origins of war”. Then he finishes with a little song, a little poem he says to the world: It’s a war that’s continued to this very day. It’s a shame that Dog and Cat couldn’t think of a way To listen and learn and be understood, And love one another as all of us could. You don’t have to carry on like a dog or a cat. You’re not a baboon or as blind as a bat. There’s a heart in your chest and a brain in your head. So before you lose faith, hold on instead. Hold on to your faith in the goodness of others. Never give up on your sisters and brothers. You’ll see for yourself, as sure as the sun, That there’s something worth loving in everyone. He says that. Elizabeth: I need a box of tissues. [Laughter] Oh Patrick, my goodness, that’s so beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. Patrick: That’s the world premiere of The Last Secret of Ernie Pigwinkle and… Elizabeth: What a coup on Writers’ Tête-à-tête with Elizabeth Harris. Wow, Patrick! Superb. Patrick Guest, thank you so much for joining me on “Writers Tete-a-Tete with Elizabeth Harris”. We look forward to more of your stunning work. I totally agree with you: hugging is what wings are for. Thanks for tuning in everyone, and may your wishes come true. [END OF TRANSCRIPT]

Episode 126: Middle School Theatre in a Rural Community Patrick Derksen works in a school with 200 students. In total. He's a grade eight classroom teacher and playwright who decided five years ago to make theatre with his students. Find out how he does it, why he thinks theatre is important in middle school and his advice for other rural teachers wanting to do the same. Show Notes A Lighter Shade of Noir   Episode Transcript Welcome to TFP – The Theatrefolk Podcast – the place to be for Drama teachers, Drama students, and theatre educators everywhere. I'm Lindsay Price, resident playwright for Theatrefolk. Hello! I hope you're well. Thanks for listening. You have reached Episode 126 and you can find any links for this episode in the show notes at theatrefolk.com/episode126. Okay. So, Patrick Derksen, he works in a school – a rural school that has 200 total students. So, that's it; that's from kindergarten all the way up to Grade 8. He's a Grade 8 classroom teacher and he's also a playwright. We have his play, A Lighter Shade of Noir. Five years ago, he started putting up plays with his students. Just like that, he made a choice to include theatre at the middle school level, and I just think that it's always a fascinating choice when something didn't exist before and now it does, and let's hear why he made that choice and how he has developed it. LINDSAY: All right. Hello everybody! I am sitting here today with author and teacher, Patrick Derksen. Hello, Patrick! PATRICK: Hello! LINDSAY: Hi! So, Patrick is one of our Theatrefolk playwrights. He has a play with us called A Lighter Shade of Noir which I absolutely adore. It makes me laugh. The sign of a good comedy for me – because, when we read these plays, Patrick, there's so many times we have to read them from the first initial read to going through numerous proofs to seeing it published and the sign of a good comedy for me is I just giggle every time I look at this play. You are also a middle school teacher. PATRICK: Yes, primarily. LINDSAY: Primarily. That's the main gig. PATRICK: That's the main gig. LINDSAY: And how long have you been a middle school teacher? PATRICK: This is about ten years now, I guess, yeah. I had the ten-year award. LINDSAY: You got the pin. PATRICK: I'm like, “Really? Ten years already?” Time flies! LINDSAY: Absolutely! And so, why middle school? Why is that where you sort of hang your hat? PATRICK: Originally, I'd planned to be a high school teacher, I guess. But then, things took me to a middle school and I found out that I loved it. I love the kids and I love the staff. It's kind of a whole different ballgame. In middle school, you've got to think on your feet a little bit more and go with the flow and it's great. LINDSAY: It's really funny because I think you have to have that very specific mentality to relate to middle school students. PATRICK: Yes. LINDSAY: What about them is the most fun to teach? PATRICK: Yeah, like I said, I think just the fact that they're coming out of the learning ABC's kind of thing and then you can really start to work with them and take them into territory that is new for them and, yeah, it's just a fun, fun age to see them coming in that and they're still eager – unlike maybe some high school students. LINDSAY: And what do you think is the most frustrating? PATRICK: Well, when it comes to drama, they're starting at ground zero, right? LINDSAY: Ah. PATRICK: There's no knowledge at all and how it all works. So, like, probably three-quarters of the kids that I have in my plays are starting with no experience whatsoever, and then the rest start coming with a little bit of stuff from church and community theatre, but it's learning the very basics. So, those kinds of things like, you know, face the audience, speak louder, all those things I guess would be the frustrating part of it,