Calling All Creeps

Boo Dudes! Viewers beware, you're in for a scare (and a whole lot of teen drama).  Do you like football? High School Romance? How about kids bursting into flames while listening to R.E.M.?  This series takes the top scares and icons of RL Stine's Goosebumps and twists them into a small town mystery. Also, Justin Long is there!  Let Matt & Dave introduce the show and first episode as they welcome you to Goosebumps the series 2023.

It's the 30th Anniversary of Goosebumps and what better way to celebrate our good pal RLS's accomplishment than a new episode?! It's been three decades and it's about time we learn where that no good Dummy came from. Matt & Dave return to decipher Slappy's origin from Stine's new opus, Slappy Beware!

In space nobody can hear you cream! Matt & Dave are blasting off with their good friend RL Stine into a space adventure. In the end will they be cosmicly happy or tell RL Stine they need some space? Regardless, enjoy!

Let's face it, books are for nerds. It's all about TV now. The Bailey School Dropouts have quit the world of Childrens Horror Literature and will take a quick trip into Canadian Childrens Horror Television. Zeebo the Clown awaits in the fun house. Smoke'em if you got'em. April Fool.

Happy Holidays! We're rollin out! Matt and Dave wanted to fill your stockings with the RL Stine, Goosebumps 2000 Classic, The Haunted Car! I know what you're thinking. "Is The Haunted Car a holiday book?" And to that we reply, "Shut up and go with it."

Matt & Dave are back in town for an old friend's wedding. Not only does the groom have wood, he's made out of it! Slappy is finally settling down and what better way to celebrate than a special Halloween treat, another episode of Calling All Creeps! 

All good things must come to an end. Is that why the Goosebumps franchise is still going strong? (We kid.) We would like to thank everyone for embarking on this journey with us. It was a passion project devoted to nostalgia and friendship with no expectations or real direction. We never expected to find so many thoughtful, passionate, and hilarious like-minded people along the way and for that we are truly grateful. You'll always be our Cute Little Stine-Heads. Jizzingly yours,  Matt & Dave

You know how most people finish off their grand projects with a big bang? Not our boy RLS. "Fizzle and Die" is the best way to describe the ending of the Goosebumps original 62. He was already working on the Goosebumps 2000 series at this point. (Insert that meme of the guy with the girlfriend looking at the other girl.) Also, this is the final Goosebumps book and we are free of this curse.

Friend of the pod and artist Gene (@melt.gif) helps Matt and Dave tackle one of the final books in the original 62 Goosebumps! We are super happy that RL Stine has returned to a tried and true plot device. Our good friend Head Trauma returns in this action packed book about misremembering and taking baseball bats to the dome!

RL Stine has been holding back this whole time. Severed heads, people peeling off their skin, murdering neighbors, near death car accidents, home made doughnuts, this book has it all!  Only three more books in the original 62 Goosebumps and this one is helping it end with a high note!

Evan is tired of this mother f*#$'n Monster Blood, on the this mother f*#$'n plane! The Monster Blood books have always been extremely popular, but due to budget constraints Monster Blood 2 could not be made into a television episode. So what did we get? Flight Monster Blood! A retconned Monsterblood 1.5 that was not written by RLS. Weird? You bet!

Students, please find your seats! Today we will be covering school dance posters, mannequin modern art memorials for dead kids, disembodied voices, black and white child purgatory... This kind of thing is pretty much the curriculum for an RL Stine school. Matt and Dave grab their Jansports and take a step into the halls of The Haunted School!

The original Deep Trouble was one of the best selling Goosebumps books in the series and also won the prestigious Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Award. The fans wanted more, so RLS delivered. The Deep family are in deep sh*t again. No mermaids this time, but I'm pretty sure Sheena gets swallowed by a female reproductive organ. I don't know, just read it. 

What is is about the invisibility books? They're all bad. Just plain awful. Matt & Dave mix literature with alcohol, and bathroom humor to make it through book number 57!

You can fit so many dead kids in this cold, cold lake. RL Stine is sick of letting children live in book 56 and starts swinging the scythe around! If things weren't spooky enough, Ashley of Lloyd's Pub Podcast (@lloyds_pub_podcast) joins Matt and Dave to discuss the book and her ghostly experiences (she is super haunted). 

Ed, Matt, Dave, and the Bailey School gang are back! I mean, they haven't really gone anywhere because this is the normal show and not the long running April fools joke.  The Bailey School DropOuts have done it! They have ready every book in the series! What is there to do now, but dream of what comes next?

In a sea of stinkers, The Blob That Ate Everyone is a shining gem in the back-end of the Goosebumps library. This is a book worth savoring like a fine wine. Matt and Dave pop the cork with returning guest Lou Morgue and ArtfromAnt. Blobs and punguses, all aged to perfection...

Don't judge a book by its cover. While you're at it, don't judge a book by its title either. We only mention that because this book has a pretty cool cover and title. I believe that says all that needs to be said...

This is a very bad book that sucks and is bad. Goth-Jock super friend of the pod, Brian returns to help shoulder the burden. 

This isn't a scary book but it says "Goosebumps" on the front so we read it. Who cares if a kid flies? Is he a vampire? Maybe a gargoyle? Nah, just a kids flying because he is upset about rollerblading with a cute girl or something. Who knows...

Do you want to build a snowman? This book doesn't have too much in common with the hit Disney film Frozen, but there is a dead mom, so it has that going for it! Disney hates living parents like the small arctic village of Sherpia hates ice caves and the monstrous snowman that inhabits them.

THE TITULAR EPISODE IS HERE! On top of that, it's the final episode of 2020, which regular listeners of the pod will realize is a big deal! Creeps? We got em! Get ready!

Tis the season to start pulling all the boxes of holiday decorations from the basement. While you're down there, make sure you don't uncover any ancient coffins filled with magic fart bottles or you'll have to help an old monster with his dental needs.

What's with tweens and Halloween based revenge plots? These should be the best years of their lives! You're not too old to trick or treat and too young to be prosecuted for most crimes. Drew may be the smallest girl in her grade but she holds a massive grudge. And it all gets crazy when Jack-O'-lantern Monsters hit the scene!

Some stories can not be found in your local library. Some tales are not searchable on the internet. Some legends only exist in the dense forests of European countries like Brovania, to be found by overweight fathers and accident prone children. Also, how about there are giant cats and a viking while we're at it? 

RL Stine has had his vomit jokes packed away for a rainy day and this book was a hurricane! Does RLS know farts? Poops? Pants Falling down? Boogers? Let us fill you in on RL Stine's Were-wolf transformation back to Jovial Bob Stine in this rapid-fire joke take on Topps Garbage Pail Kids!

Happy Halloween to all of our Boo Dudes! It's the spookiest of seasons and what better reason to cuddle up with a good Goosebumps book? It's hard for swamp grandparents to relate to their grandkids with their video games and tamagotchis. When baking and fun indoor activities fail, abandon those kids and inspire them to murder wildlife! Let's kill this monster!!!

Boo Dudes! Can you believe we've been reading children books for two years now? Us either. It's like we're paying overdue taxes for all of the Summer Readings Programs we lied about. Dear Mr. Henshaw? Nah, I'm good.  A special guest joins the pod. We finally landed our white whale. Producer Chib gives us the business and we hear from our listeners!

Same deal as the first one... Middle School kids. Evil Camera. This time a large helping of fat shaming and revenge!

Tag, you're it! Wanna be made in the shade? Jerking away from blue bear monsters deep in the woods? Let Matt and Dave explain why this makes sense by diving into one of the oddest books yet!

Let's all get on the same page for a second. Let's say there's a storm on Mars and some eggs get fired into space. If said egg's enter the atmosphere and for some reason only land in your neighborhood, you probably shouldn't touch them, even if you're really into Science.

In the end, your health is all you have. Life has given you one rectum and you need to tend to it and feel empowered to have it treated with expert care.  This book is about magicians.

Dad sells cameras but his true passion is ventriloquism. Trina and Dan plan on torturing cousin Zane when he comes to visit for spring break, but he's no Dummy! Get it? There are so many dummies in this book. Matt and Dave are back in their element, classic Stine and the only puppet that excels in punching children in the face. Slappy returns! 

PART 2 of They Call Me the Night Howler! RL Stine released a self acclaimed book two weeks back and the boys didn't think too highly of it. But when they read the book, did they really READ it? What about the subtext? What about the historical rhetoric and timeliness of RL Stine's Prose? Did they ask the question... what if it's good? What if this is a good book? TLDR; This is still a bad book. 

STOP THE PRESSES! "Have I ever lied to you? In my humble opinion, this is the BEST Goosebumps book I've written in YEARS! And it's out TOMORROW. (Hope you agree with me.)" -RL STINE With a glowing review like that, how could we not read it? Best in years!? This must be a winner!

It's all about "Jungle Magic!" RL Stine takes us to a remote jungle island where an abducted child learns that he indeed has the powers of "Jungle Magic!" What is "Jungle Magic" you may ask? Let Matt, Dave, and special guest Erik Weinbrecht of the Adventures in Collecting Podcast be your jungle tour guides on this weird, tiny headed tale.

Dad likes photography. Dad likes photography so much it ruined his marriage. Dad likes photography so much that he drags his kids to the tundra to find a monster that has murdered a few locals and a tv crew. Matt & Dave give you a snapshot of the plot to one of the weirdest Goosebumps books yet!

A GHOST RIPS A LIVING CHILD’S FREAKING HEAD OFF! And special guest Judy “The Sticker Girl!”

The Haunted Mask. The pinnacle of fright. The iconic story that in many ways acts as the Goosebumps poster child. It's like a delicious piece of cake. After one piece, why not have another? Oh yeah, because all that icing and sugar gives you diarrhea. This book gave us diarrhea. Matt and Dave are once again joined by filmmaker and friend Isaac! Reader beware, you're in for some sh*t...

Two in the Slime, one in the Stine. Like horror movies? Erin and Marty sure do! Lucky for them, Erin's dad has the imaginary job of lead engineer for theme parks or something ambiguous like that. Dad's newest venture is a studio tour for their favorite horror franchise, Shock Street and these lucky little kids get to be the first ones to ride. What could go wrong? It's not like anyone is secretly a robot or anything.

Joe and Mindy's dad celebrates his garden as his marriage falls apart around him. Instead of making meaningful relationships with friends, he buys lawn ornaments from an old deaf lady and tortures his terrible kids with them. He buys some gnomes and then a lot of tickling happens. Seriously.

Who's ready to slam dunk!? Home run anyone? Ace that tennis shot! Sometimes you and your little brother just happen to get detached from your dad's station wagon and now you have to do all the sports. Only the best can bathe the slime lord! Confused? Grab a Gatorade and let Matt & Dave spin you a yarn about Camp Jelly Jam!

Zoom Pencil's Down Dudes! Remote class is in session! It's the first of April and you know what that means, another new episode of your favorite yearly children's horror literature podcast. Ed, Matt, & Dave are the Bailey School Drop Outs! This week's Bailey School Kids book study Ghosts Don't Eat Potato Chips. Boy, does it suck! (April fools)

In the days of the pandemic, Matt and Dave live a fantasy, maybe even their final one? We mention this because the Boo Dudes are joined by special guest Karl Germ from the ever popular Every F'n FF Podcast! Karl joins the party to take on RL Stine's least favorite book, The Barking Ghost! A quick review... Woof. 

Is that a dummy in your pocket, or are you just Slappy to see me? Everyone's favorite dummy makes his return and this time he's brought sandwiches! Slappy has taken up painting but should probably look to grow his audience on Etsy. His new family appreciates his malicious, artistic endeavors as much as this century appreciates his love of slavery. 

SpongeBob meets Hellraiser (without the BDSM). Nothing good comes from beneath the sink unless you're really into windex. Kat and her family move into a creepy old house down the street, where they meet a hell-sponge that's horny for chaos! Matt and Dave delve into R.L. Stine's most absorbent story. 

Lou O'Caiside of Critical Hit Tattoo joins Matt and Dave to discuss that gooey green stuff, Monster Blood! There couldn't be a better guest to discuss a book that is literally about a big kid. There's some strong Minkus energy in this one. Enjoy!

Michael's father is super excited to bring home the cuckoo clock he has been lusting over for a decade. A clock created by an ancient German wizard (you know the kind.) In an effort to blackmail his truly terrible sister, Michael is forced to relive his life as he travels backwards in time! Hosts Matt and Dave join the time journey as they relive their middle school aged exploits.

What's all this then? Blimey! The bloody boo dudes take a trip over the pond to jolly old England. Some kids learn about how the Brits used to get down by killing poor people with torture machines. Who said history was boring? Also, time travel!

It's the most wonderful time of the year, which leaves little time for reading. Matt and Dave pop on the TV to visit RL Stine's 2010 series "The Haunting Hour." This episode is full of holiday tales, fun games, and even a synopsis of this very strange tv show. Enjoy!

I know RL Stine says that his books don't have lessons, but please don't apply prescription lotion you find in the trash to you and your friends' skin regardless of how funny the result may be.  Welcome to Health Class. Dave and Matt are here to discuss how your body is changing and you are blossoming into a young adult. Now hit the showers and avoid eye contact.