Podcasts about blimey

Hello you beautiful people!We start the show with The Quiz and I have a new book. Let me know how you get on.Then Bob Baker, our self-appointed podcast barman, talks about the word Blimey, a classic British term that isn't that popular overseas.Next up we have some ideas for listener Rob Taylor on how he can raise some money for charity at Christmas. One suggestion is to try to break a world record and we take a look at some Christmas records that could be achievable.Then Bob is back with Where Are You Christmas? and it turns out Christmas is in Bracebridge, Ontario in Canada. A delightful place that has been used as a filming location for a couple of Christmas films.Check out Bob's podcast here:  https://4fpodcast.buzzsprout.com/This episode's version of A Christmas Carol is Scrooge: A Christmas Carol Podcast, from Hope Media. It stars Sean Astin and a bunch of other famous voices. There are a few changes from the source material, but it's certainly worth a listen.  You can check it out here: https://scroogepodcast.com/Get in touch.Email: totalchristmas@gmail.comWebsite: totalchristmaspodcast.comMerry Christmas!

Sarah Messenger hosts this week and is joined this by Edward Timpson, Lisa Rabinowitz and Miles Webber to discuss Everton and Villa plus look forward to Forest. citypodcast.net  @citypodcast  Produced by Paul Myers and Mike Leigh  Engineered by Leon Gorman  A Playback Media Production  playbackmedia.co.uk  Copyright 2025 Playback Media Ltd - playbackmedia.co.uk/copyright Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

'Ello guv'nors! ECW on Sci-Fi emenates from Manchester, England! Big Bob Lashley got cheeky with the other Bob, Hardcore Holly, on Smackdown and took the final Extreme Elimination Chamber from him. Blimey! The two attempt to settle up in tonight's Main Event. Kelly Kelly's wanting of a snog from CM Punk while Mike Knox feels snog deprived while Punk is already getting snogs from his definitely real off-camera girlfriend leads to yet another match between Punk and Knox. Elijah Burke subs in for Tazz on commentary and fills in the bits and bobs for Joey Styles.  Follow us on Instagram @GetItAgainPodcast Got 2 (or more) words for us? Email us at GetItAgainPodcast@gmail.com

New Episode: ATAKARMA – From Punk to Funk (and Everything in Between!)Blimey, Mother—look how many people have stepped into the room today! My word, there are five of us on this episode of MyMusic with me, Graham Coath, joined by the brilliant band ATAKARMA. This is one of the liveliest episodes yet, with the full lineup joining me for laughs, stories, and a lot of love for music (and a bit of moaning about car space).

Hello! It's been a while. Thanks for popping by. Have you lost weight? I like your shoes, are they new?Today's returning episode of Miss Next Game is in two parts. The first half is an edition of the podcast, long overdue for a variety of mundane reasons. We discuss the Chaos Dwarves, Mik has some hobby spend tips, and there's a breakdown of our EuroBowl Athens performance recorded live from the field. Plus there's NAF Name or Nonsense, and all the usual chat and laughter you need.The second half is a special Tournament Recap, replete with a slew of tournament fun from the business end of 2024. We recorded it, and planned to run it as a special episode, but time got away from us. So it's here instead.Nine hours. Blimey. That's ludicrous. Going forward, we'll have monthy podcasts at around two hours apiece.Here's a breakdown of the constituents, so you can pick and choose what you'd like. We're all busy people, after all. Enjoy!00:00:00 Intro00:02:04 Podcast Intro00:06:39 Chaos Dwarf Chat00:45:24 Mik's Hobby Masterclass00:54:20 Tournament Talk - EuroBowl and FailBowl03:52:31 NAF Name or Nonsense04:09:08 Podcast Outro04:11:46 Podcast Extra04:21:40 Tournament Extra - ThrudBall05:22:25 Tournament Extra - Everything Else08:56:40 End!

She's had the organist. Now she wants the Vicar.A Series in 17 parts, by Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Mia weakly raised her hand and switched off the shower."That was amazing, Gordy-pie. Organists really are good with their hands!""Not so bad yourself," he panted. "Wow. I enjoyed that immensely! You're quite a lass, Mia.""I'd like to see you play the organ," she said, stepping out of the shower and reaching for a towel."I need to get my breath back first!" He laughed, as Mia began playfully drying him off. "God, you're an eager little beaver aren't you?""Hee hee. Yes, but what I meant was, I'd like to see you play the church organ. I've not been inside a church for years. Jenna said that St Michael's is cool.""It's a nice church." I wonder what else she's told her? Gordon thought. "Why not come along to the Sunday service? You can see me in action there, so to speak. After the service, you can have a go on the organ if you'd like. Do you play any musical instruments?""Guitar and violin, but I've not practiced for ages.""Ah, so strings are your thing? That's good. It'd be nice to have a violinist in the choir. One of the choristers plays the trumpet. Which keeps him from singing and I'm glad of it as his voice is bloody awful."Mia sniggered. "You're funny, Gordy-pie. I really like you. Are all organists as fun as you?""Nay lass. I'm one of a kind. He pulled her close and kissed her neck and lips. He was an incredible kisser, and she was curious to know more about him."Are you married?""Long divorced," came his reply. "I'm married to the pipe organ, as they say." He wondered if Jenna had mentioned anything about their various liaisons over the past year, and was about to say something, when the bathroom door suddenly opened."Jen! Ever thought of knocking before entering?" Mia gasped, covering herself with a towel."I can't leave you alone for five minutes can I?" She turned to Gordon, who grinned sheepishly at her."Um, hello!""Funny place to have organ lessons, Gordon," Jenna said, as she watched him squirm."Gordy-pie was just showing me how good an organist is with his hands, weren't you?" Mia said, kissing him. "And you know what, he's amazing!""Oh I'm well aware of how good he is," Jenna replied, folding her arms.Sensing disapproval, Gordon attempted to explain. "It just happened. I didn't know your cousin was here," he prattled. "I put the plant pots in the yard, went into the kitchen and she was just there, wearing nothing but a towel!""You don't need to explain yourself, Gordy-pie. We've not done anything wrong," Mia said. "We're both single. Why are you so uptight, Jenna? Is it because we're in the vicarage? Is that like, a sin or something?"Jenna was in no position to claim the moral high ground. "No, no of course not. I was, just a bit surprised, that's all. It's fine. Just, try to be a bit more discreet, Mia. What if Simon had walked in?""Oh I'm sure the good reverend would approve," Gordon smiled, winking at her.The perceptive Mia noticed his gesture and wondered what he was hinting at."Jenna took a deep breath. "Okay, well I'm going to have a coffee. I'll leave you to get dressed. Do you want a drink, Gordon?""A tea would be lovely. I'm parched. Thanks!""I'll have tea as well, please." Mia added.Jenna left the bathroom."She's acting weird," Mia said. "There's something she's not telling me."Oh boy, wait until you find out, Gordon thought. Your mind will be blown."Maybe she's a bit envious!" Gordon said as he picked up his clothes, and wondered where his underpants had gone."Can I keep these, Gordy-pie?" Mia giggled, holding up his white briefs."Think they're too big for you!""I don't want to wear them. I want to keep them under my pillow and sniff them at night.""In that case, they're all yours! But I want your knickers in return!""Fair's fair!" She tossed him her pale pink cotton undies to him."Thanks!""I loved our shower time," Mia said, kissing him again. "And I loved your big cock. You're a sexy man, Gordy-pie.""Gordy-pie hopes Mia-pie can play with his organ again very soon!" the organist replied as they got dressed and headed downstairs.Jenna brought them both a cup of tea as they sat down in the lounge."Gordon, you're not going to put up with her calling you that cringey nickname are you?" she said, handing him the cup."I like it. It's cute," he said, as Mia rested her head on his shoulder."It's childish. If someone had called you that a year ago, you'd have bitten their head off. You used to have a terrible temper.""Ah well that was before I saw the light," he said, sipping his tea. "When you, showed me the way." He smiled at Jenna as she sat opposite them. "For that, you know I am forever grateful," he added."Did you become a born again Christian like Jenna, Gordy-pie?" Mia asked."I've always been a Christian," Gordon replied. "I just sin a lot, that's all. As we all do, right?" He raised an eyebrow at the vicar's wife. "But we keep praying for forgiveness every week, and luckily for us, God is the forgiving sort, eh?"The front door opened and Reverend Morris came in."Good lord, I need a large brandy!" He gasped, tossing the car keys on the table."What I have seen, can't be unseen, and what I've heard, can't be unheard!""Whatever's the matter Simon?" Jenna said, standing up."You were right, Jen. Gladys Wilcox and the churchwarden. They're, at it!""Told you so," Jenna said. "Actual sex? I'm not being ageist but can Gladys manage that at her age?""No. Regular vanilla sex would've been easier to deal with. Actually, I think gerbilling would be easier to deal with. But seeing Norman, naked in her backyard, wearing a pinny and being struck on his arse with a riding crop,”Jenna cleared her throat, trying to silence him, given that they had company." She treats him like a slave and he enjoys it!" The vicar continued, unaware there was an audience. "And there's more. She knows about the storeroom threesome, and you won't believe this, she proudly told me, that sometime during Lent, she performed oral sex on Gordon.""Ahem. Simon, shush, we've got," Jenna cringed. "Wait, what? She gave Gordon oral?"Mia's jaw dropped."Sucked him off whilst he was sat at the church organ! She'd wanted him to be her slave, but he declined. So she set her sights on Norman instead. Well we both know Gordon prefers a younger woman, right?" He turned round, and noticed Gordon sat on the settee, and Mia sat next to him."Oh, good afternoon Gordon!""I brought those plant pots you wanted," the organist meekly uttered.Later,Jenna and Reverend Morris sat on the settee watching an episode of Father Brown, although neither were really paying attention to it."I can't get that image out of my head. Gladys giving Gordon a blowjob and whipping Norman's bare buttocks. I know we've, engaged in some naughtiness, but I never imagined one of the oldest members of the church was into that sort of thing!""Good for her," Jenna replied. "Kinkiness aside, it's nice for her to have Norman as a lodger. I mean, she lives alone and in this day and age, older people can feel vulnerable. I know Gladys misses her hubby a lot.""Oh Bert. Yes. He was dead long before I came to St Michaels. Bishop George told me more about him. He was the organist before Gordon took over. Apparently he was quite a character.""I'm sure he was. And the current organist seems to be going the same way.""Jen, you seem a bit unhappy about Gordon having intercourse with your cousin today. Is that because you're protective of her or because of, well, I know how close you are to him?"Jenna sighed. "Oh Simon. I'm ashamed of myself. I actually felt jealous when I saw the two of them together. How selfish is that? After everything you did for me last year when it was my birthday, and you gladly accepted my dalliances with the other male members of the church. Can you forgive me? I wish to say a prayer of forgiveness."The vicar took his wife's hands in his. "Of course I can, my love. And I understand how you feel. You see, with Mia here, I think you've got something you've never had to deal with before.""What's that?""A rival!"Mia was eavesdropping from the staircase. A mischievous grin formed on her face as she listened."Holy shit, Jenna's had more men than Elton John's had wigs. She had the nerve to have a go at me for seducing Tom. And she's slept with Gordon too? No wonder she looked so tense. Ha! And sweet, Reverend Simon is okay with that? That's not what it teaches in the Bible, surely?"She slipped back to her bedroom."Let us pray together," Reverend Morris said."Father, I return to You with my sins before me. Nowadays, I lack compassion for my brother and sisters, my eyes are clouded with wrongdoings my heart is against. Opposing Your Words, I sinned and done evil in Your eyes. I drained myself off Your kindness and followed my worldly desires. Father, guide me as You are right in Your verdict and justified in Your judgment. Do not leave me astray as I pray for a blissful life with You and a life free of evil. In Your Mercy, I pray.Amen."-(Luke 15:18, Psalm 51:3-4)"I feel better," Jenna said, opening her eyes. She ran a finger down her husband's cheek. "Simon, let's go to bed. Mia's asleep. The guest bedroom is right at the other end of the landing. She won't hear us. Tonight I need my Vicar's touch,”"What a good idea! All this talk of Gladys Wilcox getting her hands on men's dicks, I'd quite like some hands on mine!"A Girl With FantasiesMia lay back on the bed in the darkness, her mind buzzing with the events of the day. Reaching under the pillow, she pulled out the pair of Gordon's briefs."Enjoyed you, Gordy-pie! You were a total sweetie."She sighed, pressing the crotch of the underwear against her nose and inhaling deeply, whilst fingering herself with her other hand. Gordon's undies bore a pleasant, musky, manly scent, a faint mark which she assumed was pre-cum, and a couple of wiry grey pubic hairs. Perfect. Knowing that the organist's thick cock had been snugly contained within was enough to make her climax again. She wondered if he was wanking off and sniffing her knickers."Hope he likes mine too." She wanted to see the organist again, as sex with him had been amazing, but Mia had her sights set on a bigger prize - and this one wore a clerical collar.InsomniaGordon was in bed, but having difficulty sleeping. His mind was a complete whirl. He reflected how in the past year, he'd gone from being completely sex-starved, to having more sex than he'd ever had during a whole fifteen years of marriage, and during his late teens, when he'd been a horny youth, desperate to sleep with any woman. In the Eighties, those halcyon pre-Internet days, just stumbling across a discarded porn magazine in the bushes was more valuable than gold. He remembered his time at university, when he used to spy on the nurses undressing at a nearby hospital.He chuckled as he remembered losing his virginity to his piano teacher - whilst she was giving him a tour of Blackpool Tower ballroom. He credited her with starting his interest in wanting to play organs,"Look at me now," he said out loud. "I got seduced by a woman young enough to be my daughter. Who is now the vicar's wife. I fucked a Ukrainian woman in the church. I've been fucking the vicar's wife every week in the church. I took part in a threesome with her and the vicar. I and several other men gave her a facial in the church. I got my dick sucked by an eighty-six year old pensioner too. Now I'm fucking the eighteen-year old cousin of the vicar's wife, and exchanging underwear with her."He reached for the pair of pink knickers and gave them a good sniff, stroking his cock at the same time. The crotch had dried, but earlier it had been wet and sticky with Mia's pussy juices. A heavenly scent."The world is a bloody mess right now, but I'd say my life is pretty good," he smiled. "I hope Mia wants to see me again. She's a lovely, horny little thing. I hope she comes to church this Sunday."He wanked himself off happily, before slipping into a blissful slumber. For the first time in a year, he dreamt of a woman other than Jenna.Mia's DelightMia was edging closer to an orgasm as she continued to pleasure herself. Gordon's briefs pressed against her face were having the desired effect, but oh, God, she wished she had a large dildo as well. Her sopping pussy was aching to be filled again.Hearing muffled laughter on the landing, brought her back to her senses. The sound of a bedroom door closing. More laughter.She slid off the bed and wiped her hand on her t-shirt. Tiptoeing to the door, she opened it, and listened. The inky darkness of the landing was disturbed by a light under Jenna's bedroom door.With the stealth of a cat, Mia slunk down the landing. Standing in front of the door, the sounds from within were clearer. The creak of a bedframe. The headboard bumping against the wall. The low moans of the reverend, followed by the higher pitched gasps of Jenna.She bit her lip as she listened to their carnal sounds. Squinting, she peered through the keyhole. The tiny opening barely allowed an interested voyeur to see a thing, but just briefly, she glimpsed Reverend Morris' bare backside rising and falling. Lying between her cousin's legs which, likewise entirely bare, were extended straight upwards into the air."Hosanna! Hosanna! Hosanna, in, the, Highest Heavens!" Reverend Morris yelled, to which Jenna responded by screaming in ecstasy.Mia clamped her hand against her mouth to stifle a laugh. At the same time, her pussy tingled like crazy. That the good vicar quoted Biblical phrases during sex, turned her on in a way she never expected."I am coming soon! Hold on to what you have, so that no one will take your crown!"This quote from the Book of Revelation proved too much, and seconds later, Jenna climaxed, with a scream.Mia tried to remain silent as she too, came. With a wildly beating heart, she shuffled back to her bedroom."I want him. I want Reverend Morris to fuck me like that."Reverend Morris is seduced, but can he satisfy her?Lightning flashed, followed by a crash of thunder so powerful it rattled the kitchen windows. The storm began not with a sprinkle or drizzle but with a sudden downpour, as if clouds were hollow structures that could shatter like eggshells and spill their entire contents at once. So far, July was proving far less flaming than June."Blimey," Reverend Morris said, as the rain made him look up from his laptop. "Not a good start to Mia's first day in her new job, is it?""A bit of summer rain won't bother her," Jenna replied. "Her mind's probably fixated on Gordon.""Heh, give her some credit, Jen. She's shown initiative. I think she'll work hard and be a good cleaner for the church. She did an excellent job tidying up our kitchen.""That's true. She should be about finished in around twenty minutes. Ten hours a week isn't much. I wonder what her long-term plans are? I mean, she can't clean the church hall toilets for the rest of her life can she? And I must phone Aunt Kathleen, I keep putting it off. She'll go berserk when she finds out what's happened."Reverend Morris sipped his coffee. "Have faith in her, Jen. She's chosen this path for herself. And as my dad always says, never put off until tomorrow what can be done today. Right, I have to pop over to the church. I'll check in on Mia and see if she's okay with setting the alarm system. Don't know if she wants some lunch with us or if she has plans of her own?"Jenna picked up the phone. "She didn't say. Okay, I'm going to bite the bullet and phone Aunt Kathleen."In the church hall, Jenna had finished using the floor-polishing machine on the wooden floor. The two hours had flown by. As well as making the floor spotless after this morning's yoga class, she'd cleaned the toilets and emptied the bins. The work was boring, as the vicar had warned her, but an absolute doddle. For £12 an hour, she couldn't complain. It was the easiest cash she'd ever earned. It was far better than stacking shelves in Aldi and having to deal with abusive members of the public. The church toilets hadn't been the horror show she'd braced herself for - even the gents were reasonable. The good chaps of St Michaels had good manners and good aim it would seem!Outside, more thunder boomed. The sound of the rain. The rain. The cold merciless sound of the rain."Ugh," Mia muttered, looking out of the window. "I hate weather like this."It was typical British weather. The storm had washed all the color out of the day. The sky was as charry as burnt-out ruins. Wind-driven rain, grey as iron nails, hammered every surface, and road gutters overflowed with filthy water.Mia returned the machine to the store cupboard and locked it. She checked her phone. Nearly 1 o'clock.The sound of the main door opening made her jump."Oh Reverend Simon!""Hello Mia. Just checking to see how you're getting on. Have you finished?""Yes, I'm done. I was just going to set the alarm thingy." She noticed how wet his black shirt was."Great stuff, you're okay with setting it?""Oh no worries there.""Little tip if you're working in the hall by yourself, be sure to lock the main door. Anyone could walk in. We're lucky we don't get a lot of crime round here, but for your own safety, it's best to lock yourself in. There are lots of places someone could hide. Right, well I'm just heading into the church to sort a few things out ready for the curate's ordination on Sunday. Jenna's prepared some lunch if you're hungry, oh and be warned, she's phoning your mum.""What? Oh no! Why's she doing that?" Mia pouted."Look, don't panic, she's just letting her know that your safe and well and staying with us. You don't want your poor parents to be worrying themselves to death not knowing where you've gone do you?""Well no. But I don't want Mum turning up.""I don't think you need to worry. Your mum lives in Buxton doesn't she? That's a good fifty miles from here. I don't think she'll drive up here today. But at some point you'll have to speak to her."Mia looked down. "I like it here. I don't want to go back to my parents. Of course, I don't want to be a burden to you,”"You're no burden Mia, please don't think that. If you want to talk, why not join me in the church when you've finished locking up?" He left the hall and Mia took that as an open invitation."Oh I'll join you, Vicar, but I want to do more than talk!"A few minutes later, having successfully set the alarm, Mia dashed over to the church, trying to avoid getting soaked by the rain. The ancient oak door's handle turned stubbornly. She wondered why Reverend Morris hadn't bothered to lock himself in either, then she remembered something Jenna had said about the church "always having to be open for those in need."And Mia was in need all right.Reverend Morris was in the vestry, having just changed out of his damp shirt and into a dry one. He'd donned his regular cassock and surplice, as he always did when in the church, even though he was off duty. He inspected the row of church vestments on the clothes rail. Some items were missing. Some members of the choir weren't the tidiest, and often neglected to hang their surplices back up after the services.Mia walked down the aisle of St Michael's church, glancing round. The incessant pounding of rain on the roof seemed magnified here in this old, airy building. Then the organ pipes to the right of the altar caught her eye. The highly-polished silver colored pipes reflected what little light was shining through the stained glass windows."Impressive," she muttered, admiring the many pipes. "But where are its, keyboards? No wait, manuals. He called them manuals." She looked round, and noticed the organ console behind the pulpit."Ah!"Mia walked over to it. She ran her hand down the wooden stool. "So this is where Gordy-pie sits." Giving a little mischievous giggle, she looked round. There was no sign of Reverend Morris anywhere, so she slid herself onto the stool."Look at this thing. It's like, unreal. All these buttons and stuff It's like a flight deck." Her feet touched the organ's pedalboard. "How the hell does he remember all these? She looked closely at some of the stops. They all had weird-sounding names on them. Diapason, Mixture, Gemshorn."I wonder what these knobs do?" She switched on the small lamp above the manuals, in order to get a better look.Curiosity got the better of her and she fiddled with a couple of stops and pressed a few keys on the lower manual. Nothing happened, seeing as the organ was switched off."Hmm, must be like an electronic piano." She idly pressed down several more keys, pretending to play."Witness the great maestro Mia at work," she said out loud, putting on a fake Geordie accent to mimic presenters, Ant and Dec. "Here on Britain's Got Talent, Mia will now play some of her favorite songs for the audience. Starting with Titanium by David Guetta!" She flung her arms around, as though conducting an orchestra, and accidentally hit the red on/off button above the manuals."This is being live-streamed. Be sure to vote!" Mia slammed her fingers down hard on the middle manual. "I am Titanium!"The organ responded at once, with a deep, radiant sound that seemed to rattle the entire foundations of the church. It was so loud, the stool seemed to vibrate."Shit!!" Mia gasped as she got the shock of her life. Fearing she'd damaged the organ, she panicked and froze on the spot.In the vestry, Reverend Morris had finished re-arranging the vestments, when the booming note from the organ shattered his peace and quiet."What the," He almost jumped out of his skin. "Bloody hell, Gordon. You sure pick your moments to come and practice."When nothing but silence followed that ear-splitting note, he headed out of the vestry to investigate.Mia's fingers were trembling. "Fuck, what did I do?""Well, well. What do we have here?" Reverend Morris chuckled as he appeared beside the console."Eep! I didn't mean to, Simon. I was just, I,”"Ha, it's alright, don't panic!" He said."I caught something and it made that noise.""You managed to switch it on, that's all!" He indicated the red button."Oh, so it's not broken then?" Mia said, getting her breath back."No, of course not. It's seen a lot of heavy use. It can cope with a lot!""It looks so complicated. How does Gordon play it?""With ease, because he's had years of practice. Jenna's just learned to play it, and said how hard it was. No use asking me. I haven't a clue. I'm not musically talented it all. In fact I'll tell you something. I can't even read music.""Really?" Mia replied."I'm hopeless," the vicar continued. "Jenna's tried to introduce me to the piano, but I've got poor co-ordination. My fingers go all over the place. My attempts sounded like Les Dawson."Mia blinked. "Who?""Never mind. He's from before your time." He pressed down a couple of the organ's keys and made a feeble attempt at playing a few notes."Gordon says you have to use your whole body when playing a pipe organ." Mia said, giving him a dreamy grin."He's right, you do.""Do you have to use your whole body when preaching to the congregation, Simon?""Ah, well that depends," he said, switching off the organ and the lamp. "I definitely have to keep my mind focused. Especially during the sermon.""I can imagine. I bet you're amazing. I like your church robes.""Oh thanks! It's called a cassock and surplice. Um, why not come to the Sunday service if you're curious? You don't need to take communion if you're not comfortable.""I've been confirmed," Mia replied. "I'm okay with that.""It's the curate's ordination service on Sunday afternoon too. "That will be quite a spectacle. The Bishop will be performing the ceremony. We're expecting lots of people to attend. Afterwards there'll be a buffet in the hall. Nice social occasion. There'll be more people your own age there."Mia shrugged. "I'm not mad keen on people my own age," she said."I see. Well, Gordon will be there, so that's a reason to attend, surely?" Reverend Morris cleared his throat. "You like him a lot, don't you?""Oh yes. He is lovely. He's really sexy! But you know what? You're sexy too. I hope it's not a sin to compliment a vicar in church?"The flustered reverend's cheeks turned pink. "Oh not at all! Very kind of you to say, Mia."Yes, very sexy,” she purred, and without hesitating, stood up and kissed him on the lips."M-Mia, what are you doing?" Reverend Morris spluttered, backing away.She ignored his question and slipped her arms round his shoulders. "I am worshipping you, Reverend Simon. Like I said, I think you're really sexy,”"B-but, but, I am a married man!" He stammered.Mia breathed in the scent of his aftershave. "And? Jenna's a married woman, yet she seems to have slept with half of the men of this church. And you're like, okay with that?""Did Jenna tell you all this?" He gasped. This time, he made no attempt to free himself from her grasp."She didn't need to. I overheard.""You shouldn't eavesdrop, Mia.""Yes I know, but come on. Seriously? What kind of open marriage do you guys have? Is that church rules or something? How can you be cool with that?"Reverend Morris still made no attempt to move. "Well it's not like you think. I love Jenna so much. I just fell for her big time. She had quite effect on the men of this church when she first started attending, not just me. I was trapped in a sexless marriage at the time. I er, thought the first time we had sex, it was a wild one-off."This explanation failed to satisfy Mia. "And Gordon?""The thing with Gordon, well before Jenna came along, he was a very unhappy, angry man. She made him feel happier than he had been in years. And the choir were beyond grateful for his change in personality, let me tell you.""I see. So Jen just has this natural talent for seducing all these lonely men and cheering them up? A gift from God? In that case, what I'm doing isn't a sin then is it?"She kissed the vicar again, longer and harder."Mia, wait!" He protested. "I can't,”"Of course you can, Reverend Simon. "You've been so kind to me, letting me stay at the vicarage and getting me this job. It's time I repaid that kindness.""Yes, but, I thought you liked Gordon!""I do like Gordon. I just like you too. Don't you find me attractive, just like you find Jenna attractive?"He would've been lying if he'd said no, and his erection was already proof."Yes. You're beautiful," Reverend Morris said, running a finger down her cheek. "Such smooth skin,” Instinctively, he bent down and pressed his lips against hers."Heavenly,”Mia unbuttoned her top, and guided his hands to her small and beautiful tits for him to squeeze and play with."Give me a blessing, Reverend," Mia whispered.The vicar took her hand, led her into the vestry and quoted a passage from Numbers."May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord's face shine upon you and be gracious to you, may the Lord turn his face to you and bring you peace.""Amen," Mia said. After a brief silence, something seemed to snap in Reverend Morris, and he cast off his reluctance."Let me get your legs," he whispered, his voice quavering a bit with sexual tension.Stroking from the knee down, to start. Then Mia felt his holy hands open and slide up the back of her thighs, pushing her skirt up."Spread your legs a bit."His thumbs caressed her inner thigh, and came close, oh so close to her pussy. She wasn't wearing any underwear and he bent down to smell her sex. His thumbs tantalizingly close. Now his hands were on her arse. Seductive massage, strokes, and squeezes nearly sent Mia over the edge. She moaned."Oh yes," he breathed. "Praise the Lord,”Mia's hands roamed across his surplice, and her eagerness surprised him. "Hold on a sec," he said, removing the garment, and starting to unbutton his cassock. When it was open, his black trousers were revealed, along with a straining bulge. She squeezed his hard arse cheeks and pulled him against her. His cock throbbed. Mia unfastened his belt and unzipped his trousers. Seconds later, she pulled his boxer shorts down.He groaned when she took his hot cock into her warm hand, cupping his balls with her other. His cock was thick and of decent length, though not, she noted as big as Gordon's or Tom's. Gordon's was the biggest of the lot. Mia couldn't help be a little disappointed, though of course what one did with something was what counted, not the size.I wonder if this is why Jenna goes with all the other church guys, because Reverend Simon just isn't enough to satisfy her? She thought."Mia, I can't hold back, do you want me to bless you properly or not?""Yes Reverend Simon, I want you to purify me! I need you to fuck me!"Mia wrapped her leg around him, opening up for his cock. He rubbed the head of it on her clit. Reverend Morris was out of control now and she let him take her how he wanted. He entered her and pounded her hard on the vestry's small wooden table.Mia rode his cock and enjoyed his thrusts, but, as good as it felt, the vicar wasn't satisfying her in the way Gordon had done.How can this be? She thought, as her cousin's husband continued thrusting fast and hard into her, grunting as he did so.It must be because he's just not old enough for me, she mused. After all, he's only forty! Still, I've achieved what I wanted to do. I wanted to experience sex with a vicar, and a married one at that. And I've finally got my own back on Jenna after all these years,"Oh Mia I'm cumming!" Reverend Morris slammed into her for one last time and shot his load deep inside her."Well,” Reverend Morris said, after he'd got his breath back. "I hope you enjoyed that Mia. I certainly did, I can't believe I did that."Mia was about to say something, but at that moment, the vestry door opened and Jenna appeared.For a few moments there was nothing but stunned silence."Mia, why? Why Simon?""Now we're even, Jen," Mia said with a wink."Even?""Remember all those years ago when we were at primary school and I was in love with that older boy, Darren Grimshaw?""Er, what?""You knew how much I fancied him.""Mia, you were only ten at the time. You had a bit of an innocent crush.""Well at the time it felt like true love. And you had to muscle in and ruin it. He took you out to Burger King instead of asking me. I was so upset at the time. I vowed that one day, I'd get my own back!""Uh, yeah. I do remember you saying that, now I recall. So, this is your idea of getting your own back, is it? Seducing my husband, in his church?""Jen, you can't really complain. You've seduced half the men of this church!"Reverend Morris looked sheepishly at them both. "Look, I didn't say anything, she overheard us talking!"Jenna took a deep breath. "You're right, Mia. Guess I'm nothing but a hypocrite there. But where do we go from here?"Mia turned to Reverend Morris. "I've seen the light. And had a revelation. And the truth is, vicars just don't float my boat after all. No offence, Reverend Simon. You were really great. But, you're too young for me. Give me a gorgeous older organist any day! I've already found my perfect man and his name is Gordon!""Lucky Gordon," Jenna said at last."Jen, I want you to promise me one thing. I'll never lay a finger on your vicar again, if you'll promise not to get it on with Gordon again."Jenna's face suddenly fell. "What?"Reverend Morris nodded. "Fair's fair, Jen. And you don't need any more organ lessons - you can play the organ perfectly fine now."Jenna thought for a moment, remembering all the fun times she'd had with Gordon - they'd engaged in some fantastic sex over the past year, and at Easter, she'd got the impression his feelings were becoming stronger than just mere lust."Okay, I promise.""Make it a proper promise. We're in church, remember?""In the name of God, I promise," Jenna said."That's better.""Right, now that we've got that out of the way, how about we all go and have some lunch?" Reverend Morris said, fastening his trousers and belt. "I've worked up quite an appetite!"Jenna shook her head as she watched Mia head down the church aisle in front of them."Is she seriously going to ask Gordon to be her boyfriend? He's so much older than her.""Just like I am to you," Reverend Morris replied."Yes but it's double the age gap that we have. What if Mia wants kids ten years from now? Gordon will be in his mid-sixties! He doesn't have any kids of his own. Can you see him being a dad?""I think he'd be a great dad. You're assuming Mia will want to be a mum. Lots of women choose not to have children these days.""Guess you're right.""Isn't it great, all the people of our church and nearby churches have met someone? I've got you, Josh has hooked up with Yulia. Father Aiden has Róisín. Norman's moved in with Gladys, now there's an odd couple, but they're happy! My ex-wife Lucy married Debbie. Gordon's got your cousin, before you arrived, all these people were unhappy. I'd say your work is done, my love!"They walked down the aisle, hand in hand.Privately, however, Jenna smirked to herself."My work isn't fully done. At least I still have Bishop George, Gordon's cousin Barry, Mayor Buckingham and a few other chaps!"By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

Jenna's teenage cousin turns up at the vicarage.A Series in 17 parts, by Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. It was the second Sunday after Trinity. Over at St Michael's vicarage, the morning Eucharist had finished and Reverend Morris and his wife Jenna were discussing the upcoming events in the church calendar."Josh gets ordained next month, so that'll be a fun occasion. Big party over at his place. He's so excited for that day to come. It's been remarkable how he's come out of his shell. When he joined our church as curate a year ago, he was so nervous and shy. Now look at him." Reverend Morris said."He's a real asset to the church," Jenna replied, sipping a coffee, as she read through the church newsletter. "I like to think that I, helped build up his confidence a bit.""Oh you certainly did, I'm sure," the vicar said, oblivious to what his wife was referring to. "Now, apart from that big event, there's not much happening in July. I'm adding the study of the Book of Exodus in the services. Last year's summer study of Genesis went down a treat,”The sound of the doorbell interrupted him."I wonder who that can be?" Reverend Morris said, hurrying out of the living room. "If it's Gordon, he's early. He said he would call round at 2."He opened the front door. A slim young woman around eighteen or nineteen, stood on the doorstep. Brunette hair that was in pigtails. Huge brown eyes like Bambi. She was dressed in a low cut pink peasant top, tight cow-print shorts and ballet shoes. By her side was a suitcase and hold-all."Hello. Can I help you?" Reverend Morris said."Um," the woman began, in a nervous voice. "Mr., um, Reverend Morris. Is, Jenna in? I'm Mia, her cousin.""Oh really? Gosh, well do come in, you're very welcome! You look loaded up there, let me give you a hand." He ushered her inside and carried her luggage."Jen! You've got a visitor!"Jenna looked up and her eyes widened. "Mia?""Hello CJ," Mia said, with a sheepish grin.Reverend Morris blinked."Cousin Jenna," Jenna replied."Ah," He understood."What are you doing here? Last I heard you were at Salford uni.""It's a long story," Mia sighed, as Reverend Morris gestured for her to sit on the settee. "Um, I quit.""Oh no," Jenna said. "What happened?""Oh Jen, it was awful. I just couldn't settle into university life at all. I made a mistake choosing that Art and Design course. It wasn't for me. The lectures stressed me out, but worst of all was the bullying." She dabbed at imaginary tears in her eyes with a tissue. "Nine months and I just couldn't cope with it any longer, so I jacked it in."Jenna was about to say something, but her husband cut in."You poor thing. God, if there's one thing I hate, it's bullying. Sad that it occurs in all walks of life. A nasty part of human nature."Noticing the reverend had been completely taken in by Mia's story, Jenna cleared her throat. "What did your parents say?"There was an awkward pause."You haven't told them, have you?""Are you serious Jen? Mum will go nuclear if she finds out. I'm just not ready to deal with that, yet. She was so proud when I got in that place. Dad will be more understanding but, look, I have a favor to ask. Can I stay with you for, a bit? I used up my last bit of cash on the train fare. I'm broke and I have nowhere to stay. I can't face going back to my parents. They'll treat me like a kid. Please? I won't be any bother. I'll do housework for you, I'll,”"Of course you can stay!" Reverend Morris smiled. "Our vicarage is always available to those who need it. We have a spare bedroom." He turned to Jenna. "We had Bishop George staying with us during Lent, remember? I'm sure your cousin can't be a worse lodger than him. She looks like she's gone through a tough few months."Powerless to refuse, Jenna reluctantly agreed. Oh Simon, you sweet, naive man. You have no idea what you're letting yourself in for! She thought."Oh you mean it? I can stay? Oh; thank you so much, Reverend!""Simon. You can call me Simon!" Reverend Morris replied. "It's nice to finally get to meet you, Mia. I know you and Jenna drifted apart a bit when your parents moved, but it's so nice when relatives reunite, isn't it?" the reverend said as he went to pick up the luggage."If only everyone could be as nice as you and Jenna!" Mia gushed.Jenna pulled a face at her cousin and whispered to her. "You are so dead, cousin!""Right, well, I'll introduce you to your new room!” Simon said as he returned holding all the bags. “This way! I'll carry your stuff for you." Reverend Morris carried up the suitcase and hold-all."Your hubby is a total gent," Mia whispered to Jenna."Oh, you might be able to fool him, but you're not fooling me," Jenna replied. "As soon as he's gone out later, you are going to tell me everything."Reverend Morris led Mia upstairs and down the long landing. Mia walked right by his side looking something between an infatuated schoolgirl gazing at her crush and a timid little lamb sticking close to the shepherd. At eighteen, Mia was very aware of the effect she had on men. Her Bambi eyes, teamed with the brunette hair, gave her an innocent look that convinced boys and men alike that she couldn't possibly know what effect she was having on them. But she knew quite well, and she loved the things she could get by putting her skills to good use."Here we are," Reverend Morris said, opening the bedroom door at the end. "It's not massive, but it's got a pleasant view overlooking the garden."Mia walked in. The room was nicely decorated. Instead of the usual neutral color scheme of magnolia, the walls were painted in very pale blue, with white ceiling and a sandy colored carpet. Instead of curtains, a white window blind, as was the current trend. A single bed, chest of drawers and ladder desk and chair made up the furniture."I don't know why I painted this room blue, it always looks so cold, and it doesn't really match the carpet. No wardrobe, but there's a full chest of drawers and the bed is a divan, with two storage compartments you can put your bits and bobs in. There's a hook on the back of the door if you need to hang some clothes up.""Oh I love it!" Mia said, smiling at him. "It's like being at the beach. The floor is sand and the walls are the sea. It's so restful and appealing. Really brings out my creative side. I think I could do lots of painting and drawing in here.""I'm glad you like it. Jenna and I want you to feel comfortable and safe here. Charity is so important to Christians like us.""Oh yes, I understand Rev, um, Simon. And I am so grateful. Um, do I have to start going to church? I mean I was raised in a Christian home but I sort of drifted,” Mia said, giving him a coquettish look.""Ha, no worries! We're not going to force you to attend a Sunday service or anything so relax. Whether you're a believer or not, everyone is catered for in our vicarage. We don't judge.""Jenna told me that your church is a nice one," Mia said, gazing at the reverend. He's rather average in looks but this guy is a total sweetie I can tell. Not an ounce of malice in him. Jenna's really landed on her feet with this one."She's right! St Michael's is a lovely place of worship. I'm very honored to be its vicar. Of course it wasn't always like that, but I like to think that I've really turned things round and made a difference. I credit Jenna for helping me in, many ways," he continued, and Mia noted the pause.Wonder what he means by that? She thought.He continued. "I took over in 2019 after the sudden death of the previous vicar, Reverend Smith. Talk about being thrown in at the deep end. Only a few months later, the pandemic happened. What a stressful time that was."Mia nodded patiently."Sorry, I'm prattling on! I'll leave you to get sorted out. I talk too much. Always in sermon mode,”"That's alright, Simon. I'm sure your sermons are really interesting." Mia said, flattering him some more."Ah well, haven't heard too many snores in the aisles of late.""I really appreciate you helping me like this," Mia said, sitting on the bed. "I just don't know how I was going to cope. And I want to pay my way. I suppose I'll have to apply for Universal Credit. What with the cost of living crisis and everything. Not sure if there are any jobs going in this town? I don't know this area at all and I can't drive,”"One step at a time, Mia. let's get you settled in first.""I really do want to work. Is there anything I could do at your church?"Reverend Morris scratched the back of his head and sat down next to her."Well, it's mostly volunteer work there, which is no good when you need an income, oh wait a minute, Norman the churchwarden mentioned that the church hall needs a cleaner, 10 hours a week. It's only a five minute walk from here. We had one of the Sunday school teacher's lads doing it, but I confess he rarely turned up and was about as much use as a chocolate fireguard. I was disappointed in Jordan, as the pay was pretty good for an entry-level job.""I'll do that job! I'd love to do that!" Mia said. "Oh please say yes!""Hmm, well let me talk it over with Jenna first, and Norman. Cleaning is a bit boring. You'd be required to put out chairs and tables too. They're only lightweight folding ones, so no dangerous lifting of heavy stuff or anything. But Norman will be able to tell you more about what's involved. We have a lot of functions held in the hall, not just church stuff. Monday is badminton class. Tuesday it's the over-60s hot yoga. Wednesday is the midweek eucharist, so it's tea and coffee morning. Thursday and Friday you get two days off as nothing happens then. Saturday is the local amateur dramatics group. Oh and Sunday, the most important day of all, is the main service at church, and a social gathering afterwards.""Oh I just love cleaning up," Mia said. "Tidiness is good for mental health you know. It keeps your mind occupied." She slid a bit closer to him."You're really enthusiastic aren't you?" Well If your heart's set on it, I'm sure I can pull a few strings and get you in. Don't want you to feel like your talents are being wasted in what I consider to be just a casual job though.""To be honest, I never had any idea what I wanted to do when I left school," Mia continued. "I never wanted to go to uni. I feel like such a failure for quitting.""Don't put yourself down," he said, reassuring her. "Sometimes God has a different path for us. And you can't stay somewhere that's making you unhappy. It takes guts to break away from a path that someone else has set for you. I can tell you have a great attitude. Your talents obviously lie elsewhere. In time, I'm sure you'll find something you truly excel at.""I do hope so," Mia said, pouting at him. She leaned in closer, but the moment was broken by the sound of the landline phone ringing downstairs."Oh that reminds me, I need to call on one of the flock." He stood up. "I'll leave you to unpack Mia. If you need anything, I'm sure Jenna can assist you. I have to go out. I'll see you later. Take care!"He hurried out of the bedroom."I think I'm gonna love it here," Mia giggled to herself. "I think I need to, repair my relationship with God." She gave the most mischievous of grins as she flopped back in bed."But I also plan on sinning, a lot!"Reverend Morris rushed down the stairs."That was the garage on the phone," Jenna said, putting down the receiver. "My car's passed its MOT and ready to be collected.""Great. I'll drop you off there as I just remembered I promised Gladys Wilcox I'd take her a copy of that paperback I recommended at last week's service. Hills of the North by Jenny Talwartz." He rummaged around on the coffee table and held up the book in question. "A thrilling tale set in rural England, about passion, blackmail and a woman's fulfilling journey to find romance and regain her faith.""Sounds a good one.""It got rave reviews on Amazon. I was worried it might be a bit too racy for some of the older members of the congregation. I haven't had chance to read it yet but apparently it contains violence and several sex scenes.""Right up Gladys Wilcox's alley I'd say," Jenna replied, grinning. "I keep telling you, there's something kinky going on between her and the churchwarden. Okay, give me five minutes, and I'll be ready. Need to have a quick word with our non-paying guest.""You're alright with her staying, aren't you? Sorry, I tend to just dive in and say yes to everything. Your cousin seems like such a lovely person.""I don't mind, but she's not the innocent little thing you think she is," Jenna said. "Oh she's not a criminal or anything, but she can be a bit, indiscreet at times.""Aren't we all a bit like that at eighteen? Not much life experience to fall back on.""Hmm, I suppose. I will phone Aunt Kathleen later and let her know that Mia's staying here. I'd better prepare to gently break the bad news that her daughter won't be getting those letters after her name."Mia was admiring herself in the wall mirror when Jenna came in, and closed the bedroom door."Alright you. Now how about giving me the whole truth about why you quit uni? You're good, but your acting skills need work. Better make it quick as Simon's waiting to give me a lift to the garage, so spill."The brunette took a deep breath. "Alright. Look, don't give me too much grief. I did something wrong and that's why I had to quit.""What happened?""I seduced my lecturer and slept with him."She gasped. "You did what?" After the initial shock, Jenna couldn't help but admire her cousin's brazen attitude. Seeing as she herself had seduced several men from the church, plus a former Catholic priest, and most recently, the town mayor. Not to mention there were her weekly "organ lessons" with Gordon,"So he was old enough to be my dad. Maybe grandad. He was like, late fifties or something. But he was so hot. Older men really turn me on. You must know how that feels. I mean, your husband is way older than you, right?""Yeah. I'm twenty-one and he's forty." Jenna admitted. "Eighteen and late fifties is one hell of an age gap though.""I know. Oh but Jen. Tom was such a sexy man. Just the type I like. He was a smoker, but not a heavy one. Kind of used to turn me on, smelling smoke on his breath. It added to the attraction, as weird as that sounds. The sex was amazing. Older men are just sexier,”Jenna gave a dreamy sigh. "Yep they are. Can't disagree with you there. Realizing she suddenly had a lot more in common with her cousin, she sat down next to her. "Tell me more about Tom."And so Mia gave her chapter and verse on her spicy adventures at Salford."Stood in the art room, I was backlit by the bright front windows behind me. By kneeling down to waist level, he could see through the now semi-transparent material of my dress and get a look at the curves of my body underneath it. I told myself that I was grossed out, and that it was disgusting, but the idea that this older man wanted to see my knickers made my heart beat fast, I masturbated to the idea of Tom looking at me and his cock getting hard in his underpants, and as I later found out, he had a lovely big cock.""Wow," Jenna said, feeling herself getting quite wet."Jenna! Are you coming?" Reverend Morris shouted."Oh! Er yes! Just a minute! I have to go out and collect my car from the garage. I won't be long. You'll be okay whilst I'm gone won't you?""You sound like Mum.""Sorry. I'll see you later then. Make yourself a brew or something. Help yourself to whatever's in the kitchen but if you touch Simon's beloved brandy, you'll be reciting some prayers of forgiveness!" Jenna said with a wink."I'll be good. Honest. Can I have a shower please? After that long journey I feel gross. It was hot and smelly in the train. A fat lad sat behind me kept farting.""Yes of course. Bathroom's the second on the right."A few minutes later, Mia was taking full advantage of the newly-installed power shower at the vicarage. As the hot water caressed her young body, she closed her eyes and ran her hands over her smooth skin, losing herself in the sensation. A smile played across her face as her hands cupped her small, pert breasts and gave the nipples a quick tweak. She sucked in a breath and bit her lip as those wandering hands traveled lower, finding the treasure between her legs. The sensations were nice, but when she imagined someone watching her doing these things, her clit began to throb with need."Oh Tom. I miss you."On the other side of town, Gordon was loading some ceramic plant pots into the boot of his car. He was glad to be offloading these unwanted pots on the vicar. With their massive garden, they'd be put to good use. Plus, Gordon could never refuse an opportunity to see the gorgeous Jenna.In the shower, Mia leaned against the wall, eyes closed, and fingered her tingling clit. She was lost in a fantasy.Praise the Lord! Reverend Morris returns unexpectedly, before Jenna does. He walks in and finds me here. Instead of turning away, he unzips his trousers. I happily comply, straight away, by parting my legs, bending over and thrusting my arse into his groin so he can tear off my underwear- if I was wearing any (which is hardly ever) - and he rams his whole ten inches (I assume he's well-endowed) of hard, holy cock right into my hot, tight snatch, fuck yes!Gordon arrived at the vicarage, and failed to notice the lack of cars on the driveway. His mind was too focused on Jenna. Being so familiar with the house's occupants, he didn't even knock these days, but just walked in. Gordon had never been known for restraint, but Reverend Morris didn't seem to mind."Hello? Anyone in? I'm early." He shouted. No reply. Maybe they were in the back garden. He shrugged and carried the pots into the house.Mia had finished her shower and was just wrapping a towel round herself when she heard Gordon's voice.Then the sound of the back door opening was heard."Shit, who's that?"Mia opened the bathroom window and peered out. She noticed Gordon placing the plant pots in the yard."Wonder if he's a delivery guy?"Gordon looked round and scratched his head. It was obvious now that Jenna and the reverend weren't in. He pulled out his smartphone.Mia continued to observe him, finally getting a good look at his face."He looks a bit like Tom! Oh my God!" She watched him call someone."Hi Jen, it's your favorite organist here. Just letting you know that I've arrived at your place with the pots, what's that? Sorry, it's a bad line, oh you're at the garage? Right, I see, sure, no problem.""Oh; so he's the church organist." Mia said. "What a DILF!"Gordon ended the call and put his hands on his hips. "Oh well, might as well help myself to a cuppa, whilst I'm here." He headed back into the house. In the kitchen, he was just about to switch the kettle on, when a voice from behind made him jump."Hello there."Gordon spun round in surprise."Sorry, didn't mean to startle you.""Who, are you?" He spluttered, catching his breath, and then he realized she was wearing nothing but a bath towel."Oh, I'm Mia, Jenna's cousin. I've just arrived. I'll be staying here for a bit as I, oh, whoops!"The towel fell to the floor.Gordon's eyes almost popped out of his head."Bloody hell!"The Vicar gets a shock, and the organist is seduced.Reverend Morris turned into the quiet cul-de-sac of Rosebay Gardens and pulled up in front of Mrs. Wilcox's bungalow."Hope the old girl doesn't find this book too rude," he muttered to himself as he knocked on the door. Noticing a pair of garden gnomes dressed in bondage gear, he smiled."Guess she won't!"After a few minutes, no-one came to the door. Reverend Morris fiddled with his clerical collar. The June heatwave was showing no sign of ending. Hearing laughter, he walked down the side of the house and opened the rear gate."Yoo hoo! Anyone there?"He wasn't prepared for what he saw next."Oh Vicar! I didn't hear you!" Mrs. Wilcox cheerfully exclaimed as she dropped the riding crop. "Norman, I told you to lock that garden gate,”The churchwarden, his hairy, bare buttocks red from repeated whippings, leapt to his feet and adjusted the floral print apron, which was his only item of clothing."Ah, good afternoon to you, Reverend! This is, um, well I guess it looks bad.""Dear God!" The vicar muttered. "Jenna was right all along!"Norman was mortified. "Er, I was, we were,”"He's been a naughty boy," Mrs. Wilcox cut in, rising from the garden chair. "He forgot to mow the lawn. I'm still training him, you see.""What's going on here?" Reverend Morris gasped. "Norman, are you some kind of slave?""Heh, er, pretty much," the embarrassed churchwarden replied. "It's a fetish I never knew I had, or knew she had.""My garden isn't overlooked, Vicar and we're both consenting adults. No harm in a bit of what you fancy, is there? Norman, sweetie, why don't you go and clad yourself in something more suitable and make us all a nice cup of Earl Grey, eh? There's a good lad. She gave his arse a playful slap as he hurried into the house."Now Vicar," the old lady said, turning to face him. She grinned, but behind that sweet facade lay steely determination and unbridled spirit. "Why yes, I'm eighty-six. I suppose I should be doing crosswords and watching episodes of Midsomer Murders instead of whipping a younger man's bare behind, eh? You look rather shocked. I must say, I'm surprised at your blushes, given that your lovely wife Jenna has quite a fancy for our dear church organist."Reverend Morris wasn't sure what to say. Norman must've told her about what went on in the church when I arranged Jenna's special birthday surprise, he thought. Damn. I swore him to secrecy."Oh I don't judge, I don't judge at all!" He said quickly. "Whatever turns you on, Gladys. I'm pleased that you're both enjoying yourselves!""Just like you and your good wife, and Gordon enjoyed yourselves in the church hall at Easter, am I right?" She winked at him. There was no way to deny it, for the old lass knew everything. Nosey little old ladies had a habit of knowing the deepest, darkest secrets of every member of a church."Er, that. It was, a one off. It just happened. We got carried away in the heat of moment!" Reverend Morris stammered."As is the usual way," Mrs. Wilcox replied."How did you, erm, find out?""Couldn't resist a peek through the keyhole," she said. That wasn't actually true, but she wasn't going to confess to the camera and Mrs. Norris' failed attempt at blackmail."You're a bit of a dark horse, Vicar," Mrs. Wilcox continued. "Gordon lends himself well to naughtiness, but you always seemed the shy type. Quite the stamina you displayed." She patted his arm. "I must admit, I had doubts when you took over from Reverend Smith, God rest his soul. I was wrong.""Very kind of you to say," he said, starting to relax. "Um, about that church hall incident, you haven't said anything have you?""My lips are sealed, dearie!"Reverend Morris exhaled. "Praise the Lord. Thank you, Gladys!" He was relieved she didn't know about Jenna's " Mentula Cōleī (bukkake) baptism" in the church last year. That would've been too much to excuse.In the house, came the sound of a whistling kettle reaching the boil."Forgive me asking this but, how did you and Norman come to be, er, in such an arrangement?""He wasn't my first choice," she said, with no hint of shame. "I wanted Gordon to step into the role, but he chickened out. Shame, as he showed such promise that afternoon when he came to practice on the organ, and my word, I enjoyed playing with his organ, let me tell you! I said to him, if I were thirty years younger, I'd have done a lot more with his organ! My body's far too old for such things, alas. But he seemed to really enjoy the blowjob I gave him. I haven't lost my touch!"The vicar felt as though he was about to faint. He would never look at this frail-looking little pensioner in the same way again."Well, that's good to know!"Presently, the kitchen door opened and Norman, now wearing a bathrobe, stepped out onto the patio, carrying a tray."Tea, Vicar?"Meanwhile, at the vicarage,Gordon wasn't usually lost for words, but Mia's towel drop had left him tongue-tied."Silly me," she said, bending down and covering herself up. "Sorry about that, Mr.,”He dared to breathe. "Gordon,”"Hi Gordon. I heard you talking on your phone earlier. Are you the organist?"She didn't seem embarrassed at all, but he could feel his face burning. "Um yes, I am. Been organist and choirmaster at St Michael's for twenty years now. I've played other pipe organs in different churches too.""How impressive. Being an organist you must be very good with your hands." Mia said. "May I call you Gordy-pie?""If you wish, and I have no complaints so far," he chuckled, regaining his confidence. He wondered if all female members of Jenna's family had this talent for driving men wild."I'd like your hands on me, Gordy-pie," Mia whispered, walking closer to him."I'm sure. How old are you?" He added, warily."Eighteen, and I'll be nineteen in a few weeks.""Ah." He relaxed. "How come you're staying here then? I'll hazard a guess that you're not training to become a member of the clergy?""Been a naughty girl; haven't I?" She pouted. "Got myself booted out of uni.""Blimey. What did you do?" Gordy-Pie asked."Slept with my lecturer," Mia said, twirling a wet strand of her hair. "Seduced him, lost my virginity to him. I regret nothing.""You are an extremely naughty girl," Gordon tutted in mock disapproval. "Seducing defenseless older men like that.""I know. But Gordy-pie, do you know what the best thing was? That first time we did it. When I pressed against him and felt his hard cock straining against his trousers. The same as yours is now,” She groped his crotch and taken by surprise, he let out a gasp.Mia slipped her arms round his waist and planted a kiss on his lips. "Well? What shall we do?""I quite fancy a nice hot shower," Gordon whispered back. Lowering his voice further, he whispered into her ear. "Get your naughty little ass up those stairs right now and into the bathroom."She didn't need telling twice. Giggling, she threw her towel at him and raced out of the kitchen."I'll show you exactly what an organist can do with his hands!" Gordon shouted as he ran after her, whilst trying to unbuckle his belt.In the bathroom, Mia had already turned on the shower. She watched in amusement as Gordon fumbled with his clothes. He stepped out of his shoes and socks and tried to remove his trousers as fast as possible."Hurry up, Gordy-pie!" She teased."Damn these buttons! He muttered, fiddling with his shirt. "Should've worn a t-shirt."At last he freed himself from the offending item of clothing, and his trousers fell to his ankles."Oh, love your tighty-whities!" Mia purred. They were just like the ones Tom wore."Wait until you see what's inside them!" Gordon laughed, removing his briefs and finally, he was as naked as she was."Wow," Mia gasped. She was more than impressed. The organist's cock was thick and splendid. She was so hungry for cock that any man would've done, but Gordon ticked all her boxes and more. This was going to be one hell of a shower,"Gordy-pie," she whispered, holding out her hand. "I must warn you, I'm very slippery when wet."Gordon stepped inside. Water cascaded across the slim curves of Mia's glistening body and ran down into the darker crevice of her thighs. Gordon saw that she had a dark thatch of pubic hair that obscured her view of the lips below."I'd better handle with care then," he whispered back.His lips closed tight around her skin and kissed her neck right from her left ear, all the way down and around and back up to her right ear. He did this again, this time using tongue flicks just to hear Mia moan slightly."So just how do you play the pipe organ?" Mia gasped.He reached for the shower gel bottle and began to lather up his hands."Like this." He ran his fingers down her shoulders and back, then in a circular motion, before kneading her skin."The thing with pipe organs is, you have to press down quite firmly on the manuals," he said. "That's what the keyboards are called." He planted kisses on the back of her neck. "The organ at St Michael's has three manuals. One up here." He pressed his fingers against her shoulders."Ooh.""The middle one, round about here,” His fingers slipped down to her lower back."That tickles!""And the third manual, that's down here." He cupped her pert buttocks."Then there are the stops." Gordon's hands slipped round and up to her breasts."Have to pull out the stops,” He tweaked her hardened nipples.Mia closed her eyes, loving his sensual touch, and feeling his hard cock pressing against her arse."Oh, Gordy,”"Not forgetting the organ loft," Gordon continued, fingering her clit and making her whimper and shudder in pleasure."That's where the action happens. The organist sits at his console and plays,”Mia continued to shudder but then turned, & roughly grasped Gordon's head with both hands. He saw the desire in the young woman's brown eyes before he kissed her, hard and deep. Mia's inconsistent moans became longer and louder; the trembling went from shudders of the back to full-body quaking.Gordon continued. "And that just leaves, the organ pipes. The biggest pipes produce the deepest sounds. He took her hand and placed it on his cock."I've only got one organ pipe, but it only takes one pipe to make sweet music,”The hot spray from the shower cascaded down both their bodies. Exhilaration coursed throughout Mia's body; she'd never felt so turned on. Dropping to her knees, she soaped up her hands and slid them along Gordon's pulsing shaft. She said nothing as she rinsed, then started tasting him by licking the water drops from his balls.Flattening her tongue and licking in one long stroke up the length of his prick. Wrapping her lips around his cockhead, she sucked him. He tasted so good. A perfect older man.Keeping the rhythm nice and steady, Mia stepped up the sensation by rubbing her fingers around the base of Gordon's cock just above his balls."Mmm, your balls are getting tighter, Gordy-pie. It shouldn't be too long now before I really get to taste you!" Mia said at last. "I want all your delicious cum!""Oh God!"Gordon suddenly tensed, sucked in a breath and then grunted. Mia locked her lips so none of his precious seed escaped. Feeling his cock start to pulse, he exploded in her mouth. Spurt after spurt. Mia swallowed every drop."Did I play the organ correctly?"Gordon slid his hands up her arms and grasped her face, pulling her in for a slow, tender kiss."Perfectly," he murmured. "No wrong notes at all!""I want a more advanced organ lesson, Gordy-pie." Mia said. Hot water ran down her back and legs, making it so much easier for him to slip his fingers inside her tight pussy."What a good idea. You're more than ready!" He rubbed the tip of his still-hard cock against her entrance, teasing her by rubbing it against her clit, then down to the entrance, and back up to the clit again."Now. Please," she begged him.Gordon pressed the head of his cock against her entrance and shoved himself inside. He went in all the way on the first thrust, forcing a moan from the young brunette. He grabbed her hips roughly and thrust hard into her, the sound of wet skin slapping together. Mia moaned loudly as the organist began to pound into her."Oh Gordy! Yes! Fuck yes! Harder!"Neither of them heard the front door open as Jenna returned.To be continued in part 2. By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

Gordon is reunited with an old crush. Based on a post by Blacksheep, in 2 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories.   The monthly Mother's Union meeting was taking place at Gladys Wilcox's bungalow. There was much to discuss, mainly tomorrow's Easter Sunday service. However the main topic of conversation was the vicar's phallus. "He was just standing there, starkers! Swinging, I tell you, swinging. It was like a boa constrictor poking out of a tree. I didn't know where to look!" Mrs. Harris exclaimed. "Wish I could've been there," Mrs. Wilcox replied. "Really, Gladys!" "Well at our age there's not much opportunity for those sorts of thrills is there?" She grinned and glanced at Norman the churchwarden, who said nothing and awkwardly sipped his coffee. Being the only man there, he felt uncomfortable sitting through this, but Mrs. Wilcox had insisted he attend. "How come he was naked?" Another woman asked. "Said he'd been having a shower, but I know a lie when I see one. If you ask me, him and his wife had been; you know;" "Having a quickie?" Mrs. Wilcox replied. Norman almost choked on his coffee, remembering that 21st birthday surprise the vicar had arranged for Jenna in the church, sixteen months ago. "Yes, exactly!" "You know something, Maureen, I was chatting to Maud Finch, on the bus the other day. Now she lives on Haddock Street, in one of those council houses that overlook the railway line. She tells me that groups of drunk young men are forever going up on that opposite embankment and mooning at passing trains." "Has she made a complaint?" "Why on earth would she want to do that?" Mrs. Wilcox spluttered. "I said to her, I'll call round later this week and I'll bring a pair of binoculars!" Over on the other side of town, at 64 Stovepipe Avenue, Gordon Leesmith yawned and sat up in bed. He squinted at the alarm clock. It was ten thirty. "Oh Gord, you lazy bugger," he said to himself, stretching his arms. He hadn't intended on having such a long lie-in. Myah had gone to work hours ago. She'd been working Saturdays the past few weeks, covering for Kate, a work colleague who was recovering from major abdominal surgery. Gordon staggered out of bed and scratched his belly as he peered out of the window. The weather seemed reasonable today. The past week had seen some very unsettled conditions, with sunny spells and frequent heavy showers, so typical of British springtime. "I'd better get a move on. I promised Myah I'd cook tonight and there's not a bite of food in the house." Gordon didn't relish the prospect of going to the supermarket during the Easter weekend. Every shop was crammed. Besides, he wanted to head to the church and spend an hour practicing on the organ ready for tomorrow's special service. He'd have the church all to himself for once. He relished this temporary period of calm. Easter was always busy for the organist. As well as his full-time job repairing organs, he'd had to play the Wednesday Eucharist, the Maundy Thursday service, yesterday's Good Friday evening service and on Sunday, it was the big one. At least he could rest his fingers on Monday's bank holiday. "Can't wait to jet off next month," he muttered, as he hurriedly dressed himself and brewed a cup of tea. He'd booked a week's holiday in Tenerife for himself and Myah. Their first holiday together and they were really looking forward to it. Gordon wasn't one for culture, eco-tourism or trailing round ancient ruins. Sun, sea and all-inclusive hotels were his idea of paradise. Myah had never been to the Canary Islands. He hoped she wouldn't be too bored just lounging on the beach or by the pool all day. He'd booked an adults-only hotel, the four star Golden Vista in Playa de las Americas. It had excellent reviews on TripAdvisor. Meanwhile, at the vicarage; Reverend Morris was in turmoil. "Maureen Harris has got a right mouth on her. Who needs social media when you've got a pensioner who's Britain's answer to Hedda Hopper?" "Simon, you're worrying unnecessarily," Jenna said. "You've not done anything wrong. You were in your own home and you didn't know she was there." "Oh, I don't know. I'm the parish vicar and I just accidentally exposed myself in front of an elderly member of my congregation. Can't say I'm too thrilled about that." "Maureen shouldn't have walked in. She was in the wrong. Said she knocked, but when nobody answered, she should've given up and gone." "And I should've locked the front door! I bet she's told everyone at the Mother's Union that she saw me nude!" Jenna shrugged. "So, she saw your cock. I bet many other ladies wish they could've been so lucky!" Gordon parked up on the Tesco Express car park. As expected, the place was heaving with people rushing to get last-minute groceries. Tubs of cut-price garden fence paint were piled up outside the store. As he was looking at these, he heard someone call his name. "Gordon? Gordon Leesmith. Is it you?" He spun round in surprise. A tall, slim woman, late sixties at a guess, and with silvery hair cut into a sleek bob, was stood next to him. She was dressed in a long, pale grey coat with fur-lined collar. Underneath, a skirt or dress of some sort, black tights and ankle boots. "Uh, hello? Yes, I'm Gordon Leesmith. Who are you?" The woman chuckled. "Oh dear. I really have changed haven't I? You don't remember me, do you?" Gordon blinked as he studied her face carefully, then he let out a gasp. "Harriet; Harriet Fairfax?" "Guilty!" Gordon was too stunned to speak at first, but he quickly composed himself. After so many years, here was the woman he'd lost his virginity to, way back one summer night in 1985, when he was just eighteen. His former piano teacher! "Oh God! I can't believe it! I; I, it's so wonderful to see you again! I always wondered what happened to you, Harriet. The last time we met was in 1988, when I'd just got my ARCO diploma. After that, you; well, vanished." "That's a long story. Come, let's go and have a coffee. We've both got a lot to catch up on. I'm only here until Tuesday, then I'm flying back home." "You live abroad?" "I emigrated to Australia when I got married." "Blimey. I think I need more than a coffee. I know a good place." He took her arm in his and they headed across the road. "You certainly have grown in confidence," Harriet smiled. "I always knew you would." At a small pub in the town center, Gordon sipped an overpriced beer and listened intently as Harriet filled him in on her life story. He felt a lump in his throat as she told him of her marriage to Graham, an Australian musician she'd met shortly after Gordon's fateful night in Blackpool Tower. "I suppose my head was well and truly turned. I was blinded by love. You have to remember back then in the Eighties, a single woman, mid-thirties and childless, well I was seen as being left on the shelf. Graham seemed the perfect man; and as I was never close to my parents, I figured here was my one chance to have a new start. New country, new job. So we settled in Perth. I started work as a music teacher. Loved it. Work was bliss. Unfortunately, marriage to Graham was anything but." "Was he unfaithful?" Gordon asked. "No. I would've preferred it if he was. He was abusive. It's because of him that I have partial hearing in my right ear. The beatings got so bad; he beat me black and blue. Even when I was pregnant." Tears pricked Gordon's eyes. "Bastard. Oh God, Harriet. I'm so sorry. Tell me you managed to leave him?" "Didn't need to. He took it upon himself to commit suicide one evening. I came back from work and found him swinging in the garage. August 11th, 1997. What a day to remember, eh? He'd always been a heavy drinker. I found out he'd run up massive debts, got himself fired." "Dear God. How did you cope?" "Well friends and neighbors rallied round. I'm lucky. I'm one of those people who makes friends easily. I had a good support network. Besides, I had to stay strong, for the sake of my boys, Daniel and Ryan; only got Ryan now." She paused and Gordon wondered whether he should press her further. "Daniel; died. He was twelve. A total sweetheart. You see, he was born with Down's Syndrome. Graham never coped with it. He was the loveliest, most gentle boy. Everyone who met him just adored his sunny nature. He loved animals and music. But Graham ignored him. Ryan came along three years later. He's able-bodied. Actually that's why I'm over here. I've been visiting Ryan. He's thirty now. Works as a concert pianist. I'm so proud of him. He's fiercely independent. Doesn't need me fussing over him, but we're still close. This is the last time I'll be flying here. I can't handle these long haul flights any more, now that I'm almost seventy-four. Never did like flying. He'll be the one flying over to see me next time." "You look amazing," Gordon quickly blurted out, wiping his eyes. "Heh, thanks." "I'm so sorry you've had to endure all that, Harriet," Gordon sniffed, placing his hand on hers. "Thanks for being a good listener. Hey and I'm a survivor. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?" "So; you didn't re-marry?" "Nah. After Graham died, I focused on being a mum. I got used to being single. Although ten years ago, I met Ray. He's widowed like me and a few years older. He's a total gentleman, bless him. I can't say he excites me sexually. I hope this doesn't sound too mean; he's a bit boring, but at my age, I'm past all that. It's just nice to have someone who's dependable and kind." Gordon nodded. Looking at Harriet, he thought she still looked very attractive. She'd aged well, despite the heartache she'd gone through. A surge of excitement rushed through him. "Anyways Gordon, I've prattled on about myself for too long! Tell me what you've been up to all these years!" Without wanting to bore her, Gordon gave a rundown of his life. From his marriage to Marjorie, to her cheating on him and then divorcing him, to becoming organist and choirmaster at St Michael's church, to meeting Myah. He chose to omit any mention of Jenna, the stunning vicar's wife who he'd bedded countless times before Myah arrived on the scene. "She's very attractive," Harriet said as Gordon showed her a photo on his smartphone. "You look so happy together. Do you'll think you'll have children in future?" "It's a possibility, given that she's much younger than me. Marjorie was adamant she never wanted children. I respected that. I confess I've never given much thought to becoming a dad. But if Myah does want to become a mum, then I'll be up for it." "About the age gap. It's a large one. Has that presented any problems?" "It did at first. Her parents were furious. Some hurtful things were said, but her mother and I eventually came to an understanding. Most people at church have been okay but there were a couple of exceptions. It upset me when my cousin Barry called me a "borderline nonce." He was only joking, but it hurt. She'll be twenty in July. Myah was the one who pursued me, not the other way round;" "Perhaps Barry was jealous of you. But yes, that was a crass thing to say. Well Gordon, there's one thing I want to experience before I head back Down Under." His eyes widened. "Really? What's that?" "I want to see and hear you play a pipe organ! You showed such skill and talent way back in 1985;" she winked at him and he felt that surge of excitement again. "Funnily enough, I was planning to have a practice at church today. Tomorrow's a big day, being Easter Sunday. We've got two choirs singing. Care to join me on a trip to St Michael's? It's only a five minute walk from here." The Mother's Union meeting was drawing to a close, but poor Norman could bear it no longer. Mrs. Wilcox was still questioning Mrs. Harris on a certain part of the vicar's anatomy. "Ladies, please excuse me; I really need to; er, relieve myself. Thank you for your company and I'll see you at church tomorrow!" "Oh yes, take care Norman!" they replied, oblivious to his embarrassment. "That's a fine lodger you've got yourself, Gladys. Now I tend to view men as nothing more than useless articles, but he is a true Christian." "Oh he truly is, Maureen. We have such wonderful times together. He was very easy to train!" At St Michael's church, Gordon gave Harriet a quick tour, before leading her to the organ. "This is a beautiful church," she said. "That's one thing I miss about living in Australia. All of the churches there are recent by comparison. There isn't the history. Oh there are some lovely ones, but it's not the same. This one goes back to medieval times. I love old buildings." "Yes, it's a nice church. Good community here too. I get on so well with the vicar. Reverend Morris is a good egg. His sermons are rather tedious, but nobody's perfect, eh?" He sat on the organ stool. "Here she is! What do you think?" "She's a beauty, Gordon. Three manuals, and the pipework is incredible. A large organ for such a small church." "Aye, she's a grand old lass. I gave her a complete overhaul in January. Replaced some of the big flue pipes. Now she sounds better than ever." He switched on the lamp above the manuals. "Very handy having an organist who can fix organs as well as play them. That's a very specialized job, isn't it?" "Pretty much. Right; what would you like me to play?" Harriet removed her thick coat and slid onto the stool next to him. "Hmm. It's an overplayed piece of music, but I've always liked The Entertainer. You played that for me when you used to come for lessons, remember?" "Ah yes. I remember!" As he began to play, Harriet glanced at her former student, no longer a gauche, skinny teenager but a stocky, fifty-six year old man, with silver hair. He had a paunch, but it suited him. He'd grown into his looks and actually looked better now than when he was eighteen. She ran a finger across her chin, and carefully considered her next move. He truly had become a very gifted organist. Gordon was halfway through playing, when a hand on his thigh made him play a wrong note. He stopped and looked down. "Umm;" "No-one must find out about this." Harriet whispered. "Well Myah's at work; and I don't think Ray can see what we're up to from the other side of the world;" Gordon stammered. He couldn't believe history was repeating itself. "An old girl like me can still get all hot and bothered seeing an attractive younger man," she teased. Her thigh was pressing against his and his cock was starting to respond. "Uh; Harriet," Gordon mumbled, and once again he was transported back to 1985, and was that shy, awkward teenager again. "I; just want you to know. You were my first major crush. Well; I'd fancied other girls, but you; well you just; did it for me." "I'm so glad to hear you say that, Gordon. You were the only student I ever felt attracted to. Truth is, at the time, I was feeling rather sorry for myself and unattractive. When I found out you had a crush on me, it was an incredible turn-on. To be desired by a much-younger man. I knew the whole time." "Guess I wasn't that good at being discreet," Gordon replied. "Not at all. You were shy and went bright red every time I spoke to you. Which was very endearing. I just had to make your first time a memorable one. During the pandemic, I did a lot of thinking. I started looking at old photos. I had one of you taken at your graduation. I started wondering what became of you. So I started trawling the Internet. I checked Facebook. There were a lot of Gordon Leesmiths on there, but not the one I was seeking." "I don't use social media," Gordon said. "Never have. Don't like the idea of it. I'm too old for the likes of Thick Tock or whatever it's called. " "That's fair enough. By chance, I came across a post made on the Facebook page of your church. It mentioned an organist called Gordon Leesmith. I clicked the link to the church's website and on the list of clergy and laity, there was a photo of you! I knew at once it was you." "Ah. So you were able to hunt me down with ease?" He smiled. "I'm glad you did; I've never forgotten that night in Blackpool." She leaned in closer and kissed his cheek. "Gordon; how about I give you a present? For old time's sake and all?" Her hand brushed his crotch and she could tell at once that he'd got a hard-on. "My, my. Seems like I haven't lost my touch!" "You're still beautiful, Harriet." He kissed her back. "I'm all yours;" She smiled and unzipped his trousers. As she freed his erection from his y-fronts, Gordon closed his eyes, savoring the sensation of her hot breath on his skin. He felt her lips wrap around him, and a shudder of pleasure ran through him. She began to bob her head, her mouth moving up and down his length in a rhythm that was both masterful and irresistible. Her tongue danced along the underside of his shaft, teasing and taunting him. "Oh God; oh shit, yes," he moaned. He was producing a lot of precum. Gordon considered himself an over-producer of the stuff. It was a bloody nuisance when one's underpants got wet from being horny all the time, as he usually was. The sounds of their breathing filled the empty church, the rustle of Harriet's skirt and the creak of the organ bench provided a steady beat as she continued her ministrations. Her grip on him was firm, but gentle, and she seemed to know just how to stroke him, how to tease him, how to drive him wild with desire. "Ahh," Gordon grunted. His hand caught one of the manuals and a few wrong notes disturbed the quietness. As she bobbed her head, Gordon could feel his control slipping away. He arched his back, letting out a low groan, his fingers digging into the sides of the organ stool. Harriet knew just how to use her tongue, teasing him mercilessly with it, driving him to the edge of release before pulling back and starting again. Her grip on him tightened ever so slightly, and he felt a surge of desire course through him, making his muscles tense and his heart race. With a groan that was equal parts pleasure and desperation, Gordon tensed, his hips bucking forward as he lost control. He felt the first spurt of hot seed erupt from his cock. Harriet didn't pull away, but instead opened her mouth wider, letting his essence flow over her tongue, down her throat. The sensation was almost too much for him to bear, and he let out a hoarse cry as he released himself fully into her mouth. As his orgasm subsided, Harriet slowly pulled back, her lips still wrapped around him, her eyes shining with pride and satisfaction. "That was wonderful, Gordon," she whispered. "Just wonderful." "Just like old times," came his breathless reply. Jenna Receives a Special Easter Egg. "You're quiet, Gordy!" Myah said as noticed him slumped on the settee, idly running his finger down an empty cup. "Oh! Sorry love," he muttered, quickly composing himself. His mind was still reeling from that fateful encounter with Harriet. He took a deep breath. "Hard day at the organ?" Myah giggled, leaning over the settee and kissing his forehead. "Got myself all prepared for tomorrow's service," he said quickly. "Erm, I have a confession to make; I er, was so wrapped up with practicing, I totally forgot to get some food in. But; worry not. Because you and I are dining out tonight! How do you fancy trying out that new Italian place? My treat. A working girl needs pampering." "Aww, yes!" Myah replied. "You're the best, my organ boy! Right, I'd better go and get changed!" She hurried upstairs and Gordon was alone with his thoughts once more. "Glad I got to see her one last time," he said to himself. "Goodbye Harriet." Next morning; The daffodils were in full splendor. A sea of yellow had erupted on the grass verges flanking the road to St. Michael's Church. A bright sunny sky greeted worshippers on this glorious Easter Sunday. Inside the church, it was bustling. Reverend Morris hurried about, making sure everything was just right, a music stand here, some extra hymn books there. "Where's Jenna?" He asked the churchwarden. "Why, in the vestry of course, with the rest of the choir. She's wearing robes this time, Vicar! Plus, Gordon and that Guild Voices chap will want to give a pep talk before they start." "Oh yes of course, silly me. Thanks Norman." "Do try to relax, it'll turn out fine. I have a feeling this Easter service is going to be unforgettable!" "Hope so, Reverend Morris replied, hurrying back down the aisle. "Right time for some more meet and greet;" A wrinkled hand grabbed the sleeve of his cassock as he passed a middle row of pews. "Good morning Vicar. I trust you weren't ignoring me?" "Ah; good morning to you, Mrs. Harris. Er, no I genuinely didn't see you there." "Of course, there are some things that cannot be unseen," the old lady replied, leaving him in no doubt has to what she was referring to. He cringed. "I'm so very sorry about that." "No need to apologize. You're lucky it was me and not Gladys Wilcox who saw you showing off everything the Lord gave you. Her reaction would've been rather different to mine." "Uh; I see," the vicar coughed, feeling his cheeks burning with shame. "Makes you sick doesn't it?" Mrs. Harris continued. "Just the thought of it." "The thought of what?" "Senior citizens lusting after younger men." Reverend Morris was unsure how to respond to that, but luckily Josh the curate intervened. "Would you believe it?" He said. "That flower arch around the door is absolutely infested with greenfly. Most of the flowers are already dead." "What? It only went up last night!" In the vestry, everyone was crammed in like sardines. Gordon had taken charge of the St. Michael's choir, whilst Derek was organizing the Guild Voices. "Oi, Luke, get that surplice on the right way round!" Gordon yelled at a choirboy. "Hannah, put that smartphone away!" He shook his head. "Honestly, it's like herding a bunch of cattle." "A shame about the lack of space," Derek remarked. "I keep forgetting what a small church this is. Morning Jenna!" He winked at the vicar's wife. "Hello Derek." The choirmaster lowered his voice. "Need a quick word with you alone; where can we go that's private?" Jenna glanced round. "Come with me." He discreetly followed her as she slipped out of the vestry and to a tiny storage area by the side of the organ pipes. There was no door, just a curtained archway. The room little more of an alcove, and the two of them could barely fit inside it. "Cozy," Derek smiled. "Got a little Easter present for you, Jenna," he said, rummaging in his jacket pocket. He handed her a small box. "Aww, thank you," she said. "That's really thoughtful." "Go on, you can open it now." "Oh that's cute," she smiled, holding up a little plastic yellow and green Easter egg on a pink silicone cord, and assumed it was a decoration of some kind. "Does it have chocolate inside?" Derek gave a mischievous grin. "Nope. You see; it's meant to go inside you! I was wondering if you could; wear it for me during the service? I'll enjoy an interesting little Easter egg hunt later; if you get what I mean." Jenna smiled back. Derek was more adventurous than she'd first imagined. "Why certainly, Derek. Maybe after the service, He will have Risen; and I'm not talking about Jesus there." She winked and hurried off to the toilets. "Naughty girl," Derek chuckled. "I hope she's in fine voice. Now the fun begins!" Shortly after, Jenna returned and took her place among the other Guild Voices choir members at the front of the church. Gordon began playing the voluntary, whilst the church choir did the usual procession down the main aisle. Reverend Morris stepped up to the pulpit and glanced at his wife. It seemed odd seeing his wife wearing a cassock and surplice, but she wore it well. He puffed out his chest with pride, noticing all the full pews. His church had definitely beaten St. Peter's. "Brothers and sisters, a very warm welcome to you all on this joyful Eastertide! I ask you to take the joy and hope of Easter and let it be your light and your life. Tell people that there's hope. In the driest valley, there is the resurrection. In the darkest night, there is the resurrection. In the worst moments you ever go through there is the resurrection, there is the promise of life, there is Jesus whispering into your ear saying that it's okay because death has lost its sting. There is the resurrection. Death is defeated. He has done it. He is risen. Hallelujah! We're very honored today to be hosting the Guild Voices Choir, led by the talented Mr. Derek Blackledge, who has put together a fantastic medley of holy music, along with our own equally talented organist, Gordon. He is, of course, ably assisted by his partner and organist-in-training Myah, who will be playing a few pieces for us. Now, without further ado, let us stand for our first hymn, Thine Be the Glory!" Just as Jenna was about to take a deep breath and focus on the music, she felt the egg she'd inserted into her womanhood begin to vibrate uncontrollably. Then, she noticed Derek, fiddling with his smart watch. His expression was one of mischief and amusement, and she knew instinctively that he was the one responsible for this unexpected distraction. The strains of the mighty organ filled the church as Gordon began playing the hymn. Jenna gave an awkward jolt, but was determined not to lose control during this situation. Well played, Derek, she thought. Well played. The choirmaster was waving his baton, and concentrating on the choir, but every so often, he made eye contact with Jenna, who was stood on the front row. Her voice was a little shaky, but it wasn't noticeable, thankfully. As the vibrations increased, Jenna struggled to maintain her composure. The sensations were overwhelming, and she could feel herself growing warm all over. She tried to ignore the egg, focusing instead on the beautiful music and the sacredness of the occasion. But try as she might, she couldn't help but be affected by the relentless vibrations. Her breath grew shorter, her cheeks flushed, and her body trembled with each passing moment. "No more we doubt thee, glorious Prince of life; life is naught without thee; aid us in our strife; Make us more than conquerors, through thy deathless love: bring us safe through Jordan to thy home above! Thine be the glory, risen conquering Son, Endless is the vict'ry, thou o'er death hast won." The hymn ended, and quiet descended on the church. Everyone sat down, and that didn't make it any easier for Jenna, as she squirmed awkwardly on the chair. "What's the matter with the vicar's missus, she got fleas or something?" One of the old ladies on the front row of pews whispered. "Well you know what young people are like, Maud. They can't sit still for five minutes can they? Probably suffering from smartphone withdrawal." "Either that or she's bursting for the toilet!" Sitting through the readings was bad enough, but the sermon was to prove far worse. Derek had obviously been planning this ever since their encounter on Wednesday night. The devious choirmaster was loving this! She gritted her teeth as she noticed him fiddle with his watch again. He wasn't finished with her yet. Just as she thought she had regained control, it started to vibrate again, this time more insistently than before. It seemed to have a mind of its own, dancing against her clit with an unyielding determination. Jenna bit back a moan, her cheeks burning red as she fought to maintain her composure. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the next piece of music in the book, trying to ignore the sensations building inside her. "We all make mistakes and mess up. The way you �be� a good Christian is to have faith in that cross and empty grave, in what Jesus did there. Because our faith is the one where God comes to us to give us hope and defeat the powers of sin and death for us, out of love!" After what seemed like an eternity, Reverend Morris finally ended his sermon. It was time for the next hymn, The Old Rugged Cross, but first, there was a piece of music to be performed a cappella by the choir. Gordon left his place at the organ and stood alongside Derek. He adjusted his open-fronted black gown and nodded at the choir. He noticed Jenna and smiled at her. She looked a bit uncomfortable, which he assumed was down to her singing in front of an audience for the first time. As the singing began, Derek subtly pressed his watch again. Jenna's voice went from low to impossibly high. Her eyes closed and as she sang, she felt a newfound strength welling up inside her. It was a strength born of passion and desire, of the need to express herself fully and without restraint. Gordon was amazed at her vocal range, then again, he didn't need to remind himself that the stunning vicar's wife had many talents; some he was no longer privy to, but her cousin had more than made up for. As she belted out the final chorus, her body trembled with the effort. Her breath came in ragged gasps, and her heart pounded wildly in her chest. The egg vibrator continued its relentless dance against her sensitive flesh, sending waves of pleasure coursing through her veins. She could feel herself growing closer and closer to the edge, the release just out of reach. Gordon continued to watch her. Blimey, she's really putting her heart and soul into this performance. He thought. It's almost as if; she's about to have an orgasm! He scolded himself for thinking about sex yet again. Yet he could not shake the image of her desperate to climax. Under those robes, Miss Kitty could be sopping wet. Mmm, a nice thought. He took a deep breath as he felt his cock starting to twitch, and quickly put that out of his mind. The last thing he needed was to develop a hard-on in front of the entire church. The a cappella piece ended, and it was time for Gordon to return to the organ and play the next hymn. As he did, he stole one last glance at the vicar's wife. Maybe it was just nerves. He sat down on the organ stool and began playing The Old Rugged Cross. Jenna glanced around, hoping no one had noticed the effect the egg was having on her. But everyone seemed to be too focused on singing of the hymn, their faces glowing with pride and accomplishment. Jenna bit her lip, as she fought to control the egg's relentless movements. She closed her eyes, trying to focus on something, anything, other than the sensations building inside her. But it was no use. The loud notes of the organ, the church, passages from the Bible; all seemed to feed the fire burning inside her. She was about to come, and there was no stopping it. She closed her eyes, her fists gripping her hymn book tightly as she surrendered. She started moaning gently as the pressure within built up. As the hymn's final verse was sung, Jenna climaxed with an almighty yell and her body shuddered as her orgasm spewed forth her juices and then there was a pop. She gasped as she felt the egg vibrator slip loose and fall to the stone floor. The silicone cord broke free, and the egg rolled away, under her chair. There was no way she could bend down to retrieve it. Her intense behavior had not gone unnoticed by Edna Draper, who was stood next to her. "I take it you like that hymn a lot? You were really giving it your all!" "Yeah," Jenna said, getting her breath back. "I've been practicing so hard!" Meanwhile, the egg was still rolling along the church floor. It came to a stop by the side of the organ stool. "Hello, what do we have here?" Gordon said to himself. When the vicar took to the pulpit again, the organist discreetly bent down and picked up the egg. It was warm, wet and glistening with clear goo. He knew at once what it was. "Now which naughty little Easter Bunny does this egg belong to? I think I can guess." He gave it a sniff, wiped it with a tissue and placed it in his jacket pocket. Looking over to the choir, he noticed Jenna fidgeting on her chair. "I knew it! She was getting herself off when I was conducting the choir!" The Easter Sunday service drew to a close. Reverend Morris ended it with some uplifting words. "Brothers and Sisters! Before we all head off to the church hall for tea, coffee and chocolate eggs, let me ask you one more time. Are you filled with hope today? Then go out and take it with you! This is the best news you'll ever be able to give anyone. That He loves you enough to rise again, to give you hope. And no power on earth can stop us if that is the message we're bringing to people this Easter. Amen!" Based on a post by Blacksheep, for Literotica.

Vicar's wife, Jenna, decides to give up sex for Lent!A series in 17 parts, by Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. The Jenna series started with ‘Jenna Goes To Church', followed shortly after with ‘Jenna, the Vicar's Wife'. It resumed recently with Jenna's New Year'; and now it continues with a Lentil 2-part story. Other episodes will follow.It was the last Sunday of Shrovetide, known as Quinquagesima. At St. Michael's Church, Reverend Morris had amassed a pile of old palm crosses, intending to burn them on Ash Wednesday."Shouldn't be long before the first members of the faithful arrive," he said to his wife Jenna, who was adjusting the flowers at the side of the pulpit."Oh before I forget, I've got something for you to burn on Ash Wednesday," she smiled, handing him a pair of her panties."This is an unusual-looking palm cross!" He replied. "I think I'd better burn this separately from the others! Is there some reason why you want your undies reduced to ash?""Well Simon, I've been thinking. And I've finally decided what I'm going to give up for Lent.""You're giving up wearing underwear?""Ha-ha. Tempting, but no. I'm giving up sex."Reverend Morris almost dropped the box full of crosses. "What? Sex? No, you can't be serious!"Jenna nodded. "I'm 100% serious, my love. Lent is supposed to be hard, and you're always going on about how part of being a good Christian is making sacrifices and so on. It's traditionally a time of fasting and abstaining from something to repent and focus our hearts and minds on the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.""Yes, but within reason, Jen! I don't expect you to suffer hardship as bad as that!""I can do it, Simon. I'm committed to seeing it through. It's only forty days.""B-but, that's six weeks!" the vicar whined, looking as if his entire world was about to end. "I, I'm not sure I can, er, go without for so long!""Now Simon, you're a man of God. You're stronger than most. I know you can do this. And just think how wonderful it will be when Easter comes, everything in calf, bursting out in spring glory, sap rising, mating seasons beginning, shoots thrusting upwards, days getting longer, ""Vicars dying of horniness, " Reverend Morris sighed."Exactly. And it won't just be you going without. The other chaps of this church will have to go without as well!""Oh my goodness, Jenna. There's going to be a lot of frustration building up in this church! When you say no sex, does that mean, ""No physical contact whatsoever, my dearest! No blowjobs, no kissing, no cock in cunt, nada! Just like social distancing."Reverend Morris' lip was trembling. "Not even a kiss?""Nope. I'll be sleeping in the spare bedroom until Easter. I can blow you a kiss. And whilst we can't do anything involving physical contact, there are other naughty ways we can get through Lent.""Like what?""Use your imagination, Simon!"He thought for a moment. "So I'll have to make do with dating Rosie Palms until Easter?""If it helps you cope, yes!"The reverend took a deep breath. "You're absolutely right, Jenna. I can get through this. I admire you so much for deciding to have a sex ban. In fact, I think I love you even more, and I didn't think that possible!""Aww. Ditto." She kissed him. "We'll make the most of Shrove Tuesday," she added, with a wink. "I'm going to do some creative things with pancakes."He slipped his arms around her. "Remember that morning after the Candlemas service, when we got soaking wet in the rain and we just ravished each other once we got back to the vicarage?""Hee hee, yes. Or that time last month during that short holiday in Lincolnshire when we stayed in that weird hotel, and the ghost gatecrashed our passion?""Bit early in the morning for that, isn't it? Then again, I'm not complaining!" A voice shouted, and they both looked round. Gordon the organist had just arrived.Moments later, Josh the curate appeared."Morning guys!" Jenna smiled. She turned back to her husband. "You'd better get your robes on. Looks like some of the congregation are here already. I'll go and hand out some hymn books."He nodded and headed off to the vestry. "Forty days," he sighed. "God, .I will really need your help through this difficult time!"And just how were some of the other male members of St. Michael's Church going to cope for forty days without any 'spiritual guidance' from the vicar's wife?Shrove Tuesday (the eve of Lent)On Shrove Tuesday, Jenna spent all afternoon mixing pancake batter. It would've been quicker to buy some ready-made pancakes from Tesco, but where was the fun in that? She looked at the kitchen wall clock."Come on Simon, you're late. How long does a meeting with the Bishop take?"Her husband had been out all day. At last, she heard his car pull up on the drive."Good. Now the fun begins."The front door opened and Reverend Morris came rushing in. "Sorry I've been so long. Bishop George kept prattling on for ages and then coming back home there's been a road accident so I had to take the long way home, oh I see you've been busy!" He noticed his wife was completely naked except for an apron."Welcome home," she smirked. "It's time to flip some pancakes. Is my randy reverend able to provide some batter?"He licked his lips. "What sort of batter would you be requiring?""Hmm, let's see. That special 'anointing oil' you used during my 21st birthday?" She whirled a frying pan in her hand and flipped a pancake. "Here's one I prepared earlier."His hands found her shoulders, and turned her to face him. His hands moved up to cup her face and Jenna felt his lips close around hers in a tender kiss. She returned it with rising passion, slipping her tongue into his mouth. As their tongues danced, Jenna quickly unfastened her apron, letting it slide down over her smooth skin to the kitchen floor.She could hear Reverend Morris unfastening his own garments, and when he embraced her tightly, she felt his bare skin press against hers with delicious warmth. Her husband's mouth left her lips, trailing down her neck to her chest. He took a nipple in his mouth and teased the erect tip. It was perhaps the upcoming sex ban enhancing his senses, but Jenna's breasts had never felt so full, and had never tasted so sweet. His hands roamed down over her arse, savoring her curves.Reverend Morris moved back up her body, his lips playing over her breasts, then back up her neck. Jenna's hands slid down his chest and at last reached their goal. She gripped his throbbing member, took a few steps backward, pulling gently but firmly, and he promptly followed her. She felt the edge of the kitchen countertop meet her lower back, and she swiftly heaved herself on to the cool granite surface and lay back, spreading her legs.Reverend Morris had a sudden urge to taste his wife; his tongue met with her soft skin just above her clit, then down into her folds, tasting, discovering and exploring all that she had to offer. He began to suck and lick her clit. How he loved to worship at this altar.Jenna reached for the bowl of pancake batter. A wooden spoon was sticking out of the bowl. Without hesitation, she began spooning the batter down her breasts."It tastes alright," she murmured, placing a blob of batter on her husband's nose. "But it needs an extra ingredient, ""Umm, I think I can help you there.""Fuck me religiously, darling." Jenna said hoarsely.A pair of strong, silky legs wrapped around the vicar's arse. He lowered himself onto her and felt those glorious batter-coated breasts rub against his chest as he began thrusting into her. He tried to set a steady, leisurely pace to begin, but the legs around him urged him on faster and harder. Reverend Morris responded with enthusiasm, and within moments he was pounding into his wife with all his strength, mindful that after tonight he wouldn't be able to do this for six weeks."Yes, yes, oh my God yes, I've never felt anything like it!" Jenna moaned."Bloody hell, I'm coming, oh Jenna!" Reverend Morris yelled as his stream of hot cum filled up her cunt and flowed back out onto the kitchen countertop.Jenna lay back on the countertop, eyes closed. It was several minutes before her breathing had calmed enough for her to speak."Did I provide enough batter?" Reverend Morris asked."Your holy offering was more than generous!""Forty days without from this moment on. You've still time to change your mind.""I'm sticking to it, Simon. We'll get through Lent. We'll have to think up some creative contactless ways to get our rocks off."The smell of burning interrupted them. They both glanced at the stove. To Jenna's dismay, the pancake she'd been cooking had been virtually cremated in the frying pan."Oh dear," she said, gazing at the remains of the pancake, which now resembled a lump of coal."Now that's what I call a perfect burnt offering for Ash Wednesday!" Reverend Morris replied.The Organist is Entertained.Gordon Leesmith always looked forward to Thursday evening arriving. This was when he had organ practice at church, and for the past few months he'd been teaching Jenna to play the organ. These lessons were really just an excuse for a passionate romp with the stunning vicar's wife, who was always more than willing to get her hands on the organ in his trousers, rather than the church one.Gordon hummed to himself as he brewed himself a cup of tea. He checked the time. It was only just after midday. Six hours to go. He was impatient and horny, but in a very happy mood. He'd just returned from seeing his Primary Care physician. That in itself something of a miracle in modern Britain; and received good news. His benign prostate enlargement wasn't as bad as he'd feared. Despite being a bit overweight, the doctor had given him a clean bill of health. His blood pressure was low, and so was his cholesterol.Today was his birthday. He was fifty six. A year ago, Gordon had been a miserable, short-tempered man who didn't endear himself to anyone else in the church. Long-divorced, impotent and frustrated with being alone for so long, his life had turned upside down when a young woman by the name of Jenna Fox had started attending St. Michael's Church. A few months later, she'd turned her attentions to flirting with him. Never in a million years did Gordon think he'd end up getting his cock sucked by a stunning redhead whilst he sat on the organ stool.As Gordon sipped his tea, his phone vibrated."Oh, an email from Jenna," he smiled, checking the message.Happy Birthday Gordon! About tonight. I'm afraid I can't make tonight's organ practice. I won't be able to until Easter arrives. Thing is, I've chosen to give up sex for Lent. I know you won't to hear this and it's going to be so hard for me to stick to this, but you've got to test yourself and set a challenge, right? It's what being a Christian is all about. I truly hope you'll understand. But - that doesn't mean we can't still have some fun! Make sure you visit the church - I've left a birthday present for you on the organ stool, trust me, it'll see you through this hard time. And when Easter comes, Jesus won't be the only person that rises, wink wink. It'll be worth the wait, keep your organ pipe warm for me.Love Jenna. xxx"She's abstaining from sex?" Gordon almost dropped his cup of tea. "Wait, what? Oh no! This is a nightmare! I won't be able to have a fuck for six weeks? Bloody hell! I'll go round the bend, I can't even call on Yulia's mate Martika anymore. Damn it, why did she have to bugger off back to Ukraine?"He wasn't sure whether to scream or burst into tears, but after he overcame the initial shock, he took a deep breath and composed himself."Well if she's gone on strike that means the vicar, the churchwarden, the curate and the bishop won't be getting any cunt either. Ha! Misery loves company, as the old saying goes. Gordon suddenly felt much better, knowing he wasn't the only one being denied the pleasure. Still, six weeks, God, this was going to be a struggle."Hmm, oh well. I've endured worse. I once had to endure that ‘Brotherhood of Man' tribute act in Skegness. I wonder what Jenna's got me for my birthday?"He picked up his car keys. There was only one way to find out.When Gordon arrived at the church, he discovered that the door was unlocked. Usually he had the place to himself, and he was thankful for that, given the sort of "organ practice" he liked to engage in with Jenna. Cautiously, he entered the church. The sound of a vacuum cleaner could be heard. Mrs. Wilcox, one of the many "old church biddies" as Gordon secretly called them, was busy cleaning up the aisle. Noticing the organist approaching, the slightly-built pensioner switched off the vacuum."Ah, hello Gordon! Are you here to tickle the ivories? I'm just finishing off here and then I'll be out of your way." It wasn't at all fair to describe Gladys as an ‘old biddy'. She kept herself fit and classy, and besides the rotation of sanctuary cleaning which she took part, she also headed up an outreach to single mothers in the community."Hello Gladys. No need to stop on my account. I usually come here in the evening, but, er, change of plans. You know, you really should lock yourself in when you're here by yourself. You know what it's like these days. Quite a few crackheads and drunks hang around the churchyard, some can be intimidating."The old woman rolled her eyes. "Oh they don't concern me, dearie. I carry a small can of mace in my apron pocket. My grandson Dwaine bought it for me online. He'll be arriving soon to give me a lift home."Gordon raised an eyebrow. "Blimey. There's more to you than meets the eye. Is that stuff even legal?""Maybe not, but you won't rat on an oldie, will you?" She looked back over her shoulder at him, then winked.Gordon laughed. "My lips are sealed, Gladys."Gordon's Lentil Gift From JennaHe hurried to the organ. "Crafty old gal," he said to himself. On the stool was a red gift bag. "Ah, this must be Jenna's little present for me," he said sitting down on the stool and opening the bag. A large red envelope and something wrapped in pink tissue paper were inside. He opened the envelope, and pulled out a birthday card. Inside, Jenna had written a little rhyme.Organists are sexyNone more than youOpen your presentIt'll help you get through!Xxxx"Ha-ha," Gordon chuckled. "Well whatever is this present?" He began tearing off the tissue paper. "What's this? A torch?" He held up the plastic object, then removed the cap on the end. "Bloody hell. She's bought me one of those fleshlight sex toys!" He peered closely at the silicone vagina. "Nice cunt lips, even if they are artificial, oh wait, there's a piece of paper stuffed inside." He pulled out the note.Hello Gordon. I had this specially made for you. Now you can still put your organ pipe inside me all through Lent! P S - don't forget to use the lube!"Wow, she had a cast of her own cunt made just for me! What a great birthday present! Last year all I got was a pair of slippers from my cousin." He noticed the small bottle of clear lube in the bottom of the gift bag, but didn't pay much attention to it, being too distracted by the sex toy. His erection was straining painfully against his underpants and trousers. Despite Mrs. Wilcox still busily vacuuming the pew cushions, Gordon unzipped and pulled out his cock. He peered over the top of the organ. The old girl had her back to him and besides, you had to walk round to the side of the organ to see anything. He was safely concealed behind the instrument. She wouldn't notice him having a quick wank,"Never used a sex toy before," he muttered to himself, sticking a finger into the fleshlight. "First time for everything though. It feels really tight, let's give it a go." He attempted to slide his cock inside."God, this is really tight, oof!" He managed to slide his cock halfway in, but instantly regretted it."Bit too tight, ouch!" He tried to pull out, but his cock was fully stuck inside the toy.The realization hit him. "Shit. I should've used the lube."Gordon bit his lip, as he tried to ease the thing off this manhood, but to no avail."Oh no."Gladys the paramedicMrs. Wilcox switched off the vacuum cleaner and glanced round. She could just see the top of Gordon's head. The organ was completely silent."Is he playing with the volume turned down?" She wondered.Gordon was starting to panic. If he didn't get this toy off soon, things could become embarrassing. He didn't want to have to drive up to an emergency medical center to get it removed."Come off, damn you, come off!" He grunted."Having problems, dearie?" Mrs. Wilcox said, appearing at the side of the organ. "Oh my!"Gordon looked mortified. "Um, hello Gladys," he mumbled. "I've got a bit of a problem.""I can see that, you silly boy. What on earth have you been doing? I trust that's not an outsized organ stop?"The organist blushed crimson. "Er, no. It's not. It's a, look, it's got stuck. I can't get it off my, thing.""Let's have a look." Before he could protest, she grabbed the fleshlight and pulled on it."Oww!" Gordon yelled. "Don't yank it like that, Gladys! I don't want to end up like John Wayne Bobbitt!""Needs some lubricant or something. That should help. When I was a child, I got my father's chamber pot stuck on my head. Mother used lard to get it off.""There's a bottle of lube in that bag," Gordon winced, as his cock started to hurt.Mrs. Wilcox wasted no time, and squirted a generous amount of the clear gel on her hands, before smearing some round the base of Gordon's cock. He gave an awkward cough as her gnarled old fingers probed around his privates. He'd never be able to look this eighty-something woman in the eye again during a church service. Going to A & E would be more embarrassing, he kept telling himself. Then again, perhaps not!"Alright, let's try easing if off. Nice and slow." Mrs. Wilcox gripped the base of his cock, and with her left hand began to gently pull the fleshlight. It began to slide off. "That's it! It's coming off now! Gently does it!""Almost," Gordon said, gritting his teeth.She continued to pull and finally, the toy slid off, with a popping sound."There we are! Pop goes the weasel!" Mrs. Wilcox smiled. She handed him the offending toy."Thanks so much," Gordon gasped, relieved that his cock hadn't come to any serious harm."What a big, thick willy you've got!" Mrs. Wilcox replied. "No wonder that thing got stuck!""Er, thanks," Gordon mumbled, feeling more embarrassed than ever."No need to be shy, dearie. A man who is blessed like you shouldn't hide his light under a bushel, no! It's so much bigger than my late husband's was. Dear old Bert, he used to love it when I played with his willy. Of course that was over twenty years ago. I wish I could give yours a proper sucking, but I'd have to remove my dentures, and I've used the Poligrip, "The mention of dentures being removed was almost sufficient to make Gordon lose his erection. He was about to say something, but she continued."On the other hand, an opportunity like this doesn't come my way very often! You don't mind letting an old lady have a little bit of fun before she ends up down the cemetery or in a nursing home do you, Gordon? I'm eighty-six. My mouth is pretty much all that works these days, so that will have to do. Think of it as my reward for rescuing your phallic treasure." She dragged over a nearby kneeling bench, knelt, and motioned for Gordon to step to offer her some ‘communion'.He hadn't the heart to say no. "Um, you go ahead, Gladys." Gordon closed his eyes as she removed her false teeth. He hadn't planned on getting a gum-job from a granny. He presented His cock on the padded velvet counter of her communion kneeler. She gasped in marvel at the glorious treat laying near her covered breasts. Then took his shaft slowly in one hand, and cupped his balls with her other hand. Her eye's sparkled as she beheld the phallus. And then her mouth engulfed his cock.Grasping the base of the shaft, Mrs. Wilcox took the organist's throbbing cock in her mouth and started to move her head back and forth, taking it deeper and deeper."Oh," Gordon sighed. He leaned back, gripping the sides of the organ stool and enjoyed the wonderful sensations as she sucked his manhood. She was good, no, she was very good! This was better than he ever could've imagined. The white-haired pensioner's head continued bobbing up and down on Gordon's cock, tasting some of the pre-cum."Oh yes!" He gasped. God, it felt so good!She withdrew and licked the tip of his cock, swirling around the purple head, as her fingers softly stroked the shaft. Her old skills began to come back to her. Her head and lips moved in an erotic performance. Her tongue provided a private performance that only his cock would ever experience. And the sultry ora she exuded was masterful. This woman was a sex god that only her husband ever worshipped. And now, Gordon was added to that exclusive clan of devotees."Gladys, I'm going to come," Gordon panted. "Uh!""Then fire away, dearie! I'd love a taste!" She felt him tense and then he climaxed. With that, he filled her mouth with streams of his thick, sticky cum as it spurted to the back of her throat. Mrs. Wilcox slurped and swallowed it all. Then she pressed her nose hard against his pelvice, and his thick meat pressed her larynx.As his final spurts tapered off, she very slowly pulled her head back, until his cock flopped down on the velvet padding where Gladys' grandchildren receieved their first holy Eucarist. "Umm, tastes just as good as I remember! There we go, Gordon. I'm sure you feel better now that you've emptied your plums!" She patted his cock, before lovingly tucking it back into his briefs and trousers and zipping him up. "You know something, a fine young man like you could easily pull a lady. Why, I bet there's loads of ladies who'd jump at the chance to get their hands on you! You're such a talented organist too, and you've been divorced a long time. Oh, If I were thirty years younger."Young? She thinks I'm young? I suppose to an octogenarian, fifty-six is young."Oh, I don't want to get married again," Gordon replied, wiping his brow. "I'd prefer something, casual." He cleared his throat. "Thanks for, helping me Gladys!""Well we're all good Christians here, yes? We should help each other!" Gladys looked at where she was kneeling. “Did you know, Gordon; The Greek word for communion is ‘koinonia'. It's also the Greek word for ‘intercourse'? I'll always cherish this special treat you've shared with me.”The door of the church opened and a hulking, six-foot young man came strolling in. He was covered in tattoos and obviously a regular visitor to the gym, as his massive upper arms and shoulders proved. The man looked like he could break necks merely by flicking his finger."Gran, are you here?"Gordon froze in horror as he peered over the top of the organ. "Who the hell's that?" The man resembled Lewis Hamilton bulked up on steroids."Oh that'll be Dwaine, my grandson," Mrs. Wilcox replied. "Be with you in a minute, sweetie!" She called out. "I've just been helping Gordon to polish his organ!"A Sermon That's More Stimulating Than Usual.Reverend Morris was struggling to write his sermon. It was only the second week of Lent, but he was finding this one harder than he ever imagined. The sex ban that his wife had imposed was starting to bite. Jenna seemed to be coping much better than him, and he felt ashamed at his weakness."Help me to be strong, Lord!"Suddenly, his phone beeped. A message from Jenna.Hello Simon. It's lunch break here at work. I figured you're still home alone and maybe feeling a bit, stressed? Why not look up Write-Erotica for some inspiration?She added a winking emoji"Write-Erotica? What's that?" the vicar wondered. He eagerly opened the laptop's browser. "A site for writers of erotic fiction? Hmm. I've never heard of this before. I'm always years behind everyone else, when it comes to things. Okay, let's have a browse. I wonder if there are any naughty fictions about clergy on here?"Reverend Morris soon discovered that the tags for "priest" "vicar" and "church sex" brought up a massive number of results. He was spoilt for choice and clicked on several stories. Some were much-better written than others."Jessica and Father Andrew broke the kiss, a trail of saliva still connecting their lips together. Their mouths were still so close to each other. Jessica let out a small breath as the priest grabbed her tight little ass. "You can go inside, if you want," she told him, then she pressed her lips on his mouth again and soon enough Father Andrew's tongue was in her mouth now, not that she minded at all. They had to be very quiet because they were in the confessional booth,"Reverend Morris read out loud."But the church was empty, so why did they need to be quiet? Eh, I'm just nit picking. This is a pretty hot story!" Feeling himself getting hard, Reverend Morris unzipped his trousers and slipped a hand inside, pulling out his cock. As he continued to read, he started jacking his cock slowly.Jessica unzipped the priest's pants, ‘oh yes,' he said. He began to moan and groan as he continued pleasuring himself.Her sweet, heavenly lips worshipped his holy shaft in ways he never imagined,It felt so wonderful jerking his throbbing cock whilst reading this erotic fic. Reverend Morris began to move his hips around and his legs straightened out under the desk. Soon he laid his head back and stretched his body further. Next thing he know, he let out a rather loud, "Oh, yes, yes that's it!" and started to cum.His milky fluid spurted out and all over his laptop keyboard."Ah,"Write-Erotica had done its work and provided Reverend Morris with some much-needed relief, as well as inspiration."I still don't know what to write about for my sermon, but I'd love to have a go at writing an erotic story just for Jenna," he smiled, getting some wet wipes and cleaning up his keyboard. "I've never tried writing erotica before, but first time for everything! Maybe we could write a chain story or something, and get it finished just before Easter? That could be fun!"Excited by this new idea, the vicar opened a new Word document and began typing away."I'll just write a few paragraphs of smut and then I must finish my sermon!" At the Sunday Eucharist,Reverend Morris was joined by another vicar, who was standing in for Josh the curate, who was attending a conference in Birmingham, as part of his ongoing religious training."A very warm welcome to everyone this morning," Reverend Morris began, addressing the congregation. "As we continue our journey through Lent, I'd like to introduce Reverend Jones from St. Wilfrid's church in Manchester. It's a great honor for her to be here today - she'll be reading the sermon I've been laboring over all week,""Poor woman," someone in the congregation muttered, leading to some muffled sniggers.While the vicar was talking, Gordon was idly peering over the top of the organ. He noticed Jenna sat in the front pew and winked at her. Moments later, Mrs. Wilcox, who was sat next to her, winked back at him and gave him a little wave. Gordon gave an awkward smile and shrunk back behind the organ,"Without further ado, I shall now hand over to Reverend Jones," Reverend Morris said.The vicar of St. Wilfrid's was a dumpy, bespectacled woman, aged about fifty, with grey hair in a bowl cut."Looks like the identical twin of that MP woman," an old man muttered. "What's her name? Therese, something. She's the secretary of state.""No idea," another old man replied. "Oh wait a minute! I know who you mean. Norman Lamont! I thought those eyebrows looked familiar,""No you daft git, he's a bloke!""That vicar looks like a lass to me. Mind you, one can't tell these days,"Reverend Jones stepped up to the pulpit and placed some papers on the book stand."I haven't had a sneak-peek at this sermon," she began. "So it will be a wonderful surprise for me as well as you. I'm sure Reverend Morris has gone the extra mile, as he usually does, and written something that'll make us all think."Reverend Morris gave a proud smile as he looked up at her.Gordon gave a subtle yawn. He always dreaded this part of the service. Reverend Morris had the ability to cure insomnia with his sermons, despite Jenna's best efforts to inject a bit more fun into them,"They say the Devil makes work for idle hands," Reverend Jones said, as she began reading the sermon. "That's a phrase we're all familiar with. This morning, I woke up, and my hands were rotting in idleness. My mind had been drifting to places, sinful places all week. I wouldn't say I'm a regular user of PornHub but," she paused.A look of horror appeared on Reverend Morris' face. "That isn't my sermon," he said to himself. "Oh no,"In the pews, there were a couple of awkward coughs and raised eyebrows. At the organ, Gordon suddenly perked up. This had to be the first time ever that the word PornHub was mentioned in a sermon!"The site just wasn't doing it for me," Reverend Jones continued, "so I decided to go for a walk in the park. I can't tell you how my spirits were instantly lifted. Light was filtering through the trees. It was golden and bright. How blessed we are that God has made all this for us, I thought, and then something in the bushes caught my eye. There was no-one else around. It was then that I saw her, naked as Eve in the Garden of Eden, about to take a dip in the lake. Her sweetly, up-tilted bare breasts reflected the glorious morning aura and her rose-pink nipples were as full and hard as ripe apples,"Reverend Jones paused. "What an excellent use of adjectives. I'm sure we can just imagine this scene in our heads can't we?"Never had the congregation of St, Michael's been so engrossed by a sermon before!"Not half," someone said out loud.Poor Reverend Morris' face had flooded several shades of red. He stood up and hurried to the pulpit."Angela, that's not the sermon I wrote!" He mumbled, begging her to stop."I've started, so I'll finish," she replied. "Everyone seems to be enjoying this.""Her name was Giselle, and she loved to unburden herself and swim in the lake. Freed from her clothes, I watched her in the nude and was convinced I was seeing the embodiment of an angel. She knew I watching, and she knew I liked to watch. I knew she liked me to watch, but this morning, we decided to do more than watch.""How romantic," Mrs. Wilcox said, turning to Jenna. "Your husband has a fine turn of phrase. It's better than his usual sermons, dearie. You should encourage him to write more like this. This church will soon be packed to the rafters if he keeps this up!""Oh, thanks very much!" Jenna replied innocently. She gazed at poor Reverend Morris, who was squirming with embarrassment at the side of the pulpit. He'd mixed up his sermon with some erotic fic, did he write the fic himself or find it online? She was curious to find out."What could be more divine than seeing a beautiful woman naked in a park?" Reverend Jones continued, reading out the story without a care in the world. "Personally, I think Tom Hiddleston naked in a park would be more divine, but that's just my opinion, ""I shouldn't say such things as I'm in a church, but I wouldn't mind seeing the organist naked," Mrs. Wilcox whispered to Jenna, who did a double take. This was one of those rare occasions when even she was left speechless for a few moments!"Really Gladys! You dark horse. Didn't know you had the hots for Gordon!""Just because there's snow on the roof, doesn't mean the fire's gone out!" the old lady replied."Oh this next paragraph has been all scribbled out," Reverend Jones said. She flipped the page over."My pearly-white ejaculate looked perfect dripping off her pink-nosed puppies. I got some on my hand and remember being surprised that it was so hot. I pulled my cassock off and wiped the cum off my hand with it. I walked home that night with a huge smile on my face and love bites on my little reverend."Reverend Morris snatched the papers off the book stand. "Er, my sincere apologies everyone, I made a terrible mistake!""Such a shame, it was building up to a nice conclusion," Reverend Jones said."No, that wasn't my sermon at all. I, I have no idea how that piece of writing ended up mixed up with my church papers!""Dat some good shit right there, Vicar!" Tony the reformed drug addict said, standing up and clapping.The flustered vicar attempted to move on. "Hymn, let's all stand for the hymn! Lo, He Comes With Clouds Descending!""You know something Simon," Reverend Jones said as she headed down the pulpit steps, "you need to get yourself signed up to an adult fiction site. You have talent. I'm on A o 3 myself - under a pseudonym of course. I like writing slash fanfiction about British politicians, I can send you a link if you're interested in reading them?""Er, no thanks, Angela. I'm sure they're very good, but I prefer to avoid anything relating to politics!"To be continued in part 2.By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

The February Church Trip continues.A Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. A statue is fine, too."What a night," Gordon groaned, as he sat down at the breakfast table with Ahmed and Barry. "I've never endured hell such as this. You'd get better treatment in prison than this hotel!""Fancy a ghost choosing to haunt your room," Barry chuckled. "Not sure who I should feel more sorry for, you or the ghost!""It's not funny Barry! I was almost bloody shitting myself. It was terrifying!" Gordon snapped back."Aye, the sight of you in your y-fronts is enough to terrify anything!""That must be why it never followed you into our room," Ahmed interrupted, pouring himself a cup of coffee.Presently, Jenna and Reverend Morris entered the dining room. "Morning boys! Ooh, so you saw the ghost too? Simon and I saw him, the headless preacher!""Yes, he just appeared in our room when we were er,” Reverend Morris began, and then he started to blush."Unpacking our bags," Jenna continued. "There he was, just standing by the side of the bed. I was so scared!" She added, lying of course."We didn't see any ghost, but the washbasin in our room doesn't work," Josh said. "The water won't come out. Just black stuff!""Same here," Gordon replied. "I got a sink full of soil!""According to an old bloke I met in the lounge, it's not soil at all, but gunpowder." Norman said, placing a plate loaded with what looked like inedible food on the table."Gunpowder? That's bollocks," Barry laughed. "You're not going to eat any of that are you? I'd say there's more toxic waste on your plate than in Chernobyl.""Hmm," Norman poked at the carcinogenic-looking sausages, which were virtually cremated. The bacon, if one could call it that, was not so much swimming in oil but drowned in it. The scrambled egg looked worse."Don't eat any of that scrambled egg," Gordon said. "Apart from looking like dog puke, it tastes like it too.""Thanks," Norman grimaced, pushing the plate away. "Suddenly I've lost my appetite. I think, I'll skip breakfast and buy something to eat later.Reverend Morris looked at Jenna and shook his head. "Well, maybe the trip to the museum will be more, enjoyable?"She smiled back and squeezed his thigh under the table. "I'm sure it will."The small group boarded the minibus, ready for the short journey into the center of Epworth."What's this place we're going to?" Jenna asked, as Reverend Morris checked his smartphone."Well unfortunately, the Old Rectory, which is the birthplace of John and Charles Wesley, is currently closed for the winter season. It reopens in April."A chorus of groans echoed through the bus.Gordon rolled his eyes. "Oh this just gets better, Vicar. What travel agent offers holidays to see a museum which is closed until April, in January?""Oh Simon, this is so disappointing. I really wanted to see the birthplace of the Wesleys!" Jenna sighed."I know, I know. I'm disappointed too. As a compromise, there is another museum a few miles away, called Epworth Fields Museum. It's small, but there are some great 17th and 18th century exhibits there, so that's where we're heading.""I'd have more fun wandering round Tesco," Gordon muttered to Barry.""I'd have more fun with the vicar's wife," Barry replied."Oho! You've changed your tune. What happened to 'dream on, she's way too old for you?' You're older than I am!""Yes well, that was before." Barry paused."Before what?"Barry took a deep breath. "Look, if I tell you, promise me you won't say anything?""I'm all ears," Gordon said. "And relax, your secret's safe with me."Barry started whispering and told his cousin about the fateful gloryhole encounter.Epworth Fields Museum was a three-story Georgian building would never rival the British Museum or the Tower of London in terms of interesting exhibits, but it was better than nothing. An added bonus was that entry was free.After looking round some of the rooms, the group split up and began doing their own thing. Reverend Morris was engaged in a long conversation with a member of staff, who was also a vicar. Feeling bored, Jenna wandered off. She wondered where Gordon and the others had gone. Horniness was gnawing at her again. She headed towards the south end of the second floor. At the end of the long corridor, she pushed through a heavy door and stepped onto a landing. She descended the stairs, her footsteps echoing off the painted walls. The sound was so hollow and cold that she might have been in a vast pyramid or some other ancient structure, alone but for the companionship of unseen spirits.Being a cold Tuesday morning in January, the museum was severely lacking in visitors. The place had an abandoned air, and she was suddenly aware that she was alone on this floor. As she reached for the handle of the door that led to the first-floor corridor, she thought she heard someone whisper her name. Jenna went through the door and found that the lower corridor was carpeted in the same hideous orange nylon as was the upper one. The decorator had a clown's taste for bright colors. It made her squint."Pretty sure this isn't authentic 18th century," she said to herself. A display board caught her eye. It was all about John and Charles Wesley. She recognized their portraits immediately."It was an honor to meet you last year John," Jenna said, smiling at the portrait of the white-haired Methodist minister. "Wish I could've met your brother as well, I wonder if his cock is as big as yours?" She pulled out her smartphone and took a photo of the images.Suddenly, she heard the door at the head of the stairs open with a faint but protracted squeak of hinges. She stepped back, expecting someone to descend from the second floor, but no-one appeared."Huh, weird," she said. Without thinking, Jenna leaned against the wood-paneled wall, which was actually a concealed doorway. It suddenly opened, and Jenna screamed as she went tumbling into a dark passage. The wood-paneled door slid shut behind her, and nothing but her smartphone remained on the floor of the corridor,Jenna staggered to her feet. "Where am I? Looks like there's some sort of secret room here, oh wow, I can't see a thing in here!"A light clicked on. Jenna assumed it was a motion-activated sensor. The small room was crammed with furniture that was covered in dust sheets. Old exhibits that the museum no longer wished to display, damaged stuff, spare panels. It reminded her of the storeroom in the church hall."I'd better get out of here, there might be CCTV or something." The last thing she wanted was to be accused of stealing."Oh I assure you, we are completely unobserved," a male voice uttered."Who said that?" Jenna spun round. She appeared to be alone in the room. Was there a hidden microphone somewhere?""Over here," the voice said again. "In the corner."Jenna cautiously walked around the shrouded furniture. "Where are you?""Right in front of you my dear!"Jenna looked straight ahead. A six-foot tall bronze statue of a man was standing in the corner. As she looked closely, she realized that it was a statue of Charles Wesley."Oh, a statue of Charles!" She exclaimed, reaching out to touch it, and the statue's mouth relaxed into a smile."Greetings Jenna.""Eep!" Jenna stumbled backwards and almost tripped over a chair."My apologies for scaring you. I thought you wished to meet me," the statue replied."My dear brother John has told me so much about you."Jenna blinked, her jaw dropping. "He has?""Indeed yes! He told me you were a very special lady. Not many could unleash such a power as to return a trapped soul back to God's realm. It's an honor to meet you. I just had to meet you!""It's an honor to meet you too Charles! I love your hymns! How, are you a statue? And why has the museum shoved you in this dusty little storeroom? You should be on display."Charles chuckled. "Oh I assure you I'm not actually a statue. I just sort of possessed this statue so I could have a solid body, as it were.""Hmm, I see." Jenna wondered how this could be. After all, John had been perfectly solid when he'd appeared as a ghost. Evidently all ghosts were different."My statue has been in this room for a long time," Charles continued. "My plinth is damaged. And I'm missing one of my fingers on my left hand, look!" He raised his hand. "It broke off. I suppose that is why the museum shoved me in here? Maybe they forgot about me, or couldn't afford the repairs?"Jenna was dismayed that a statue of her favorite historical figure had been dumped in storage like an unwanted toy."I wonder if the museum would let me buy your statue? How magnificent you'd look, standing in the vicarage's garden!""You'd really do that for me?""Of course I would! I'm sure your plinth can be easily fixed. We have an enormous garden, you could stand next to the sundial. And every year, I could put a wreath by your plinth to honor your birthday, ""Mmm, may I kiss you Jenna?" The statue whispered, and Jenna smirked back at him."I thought you'd never ask!"Charles kissed her cheek. "A man should always respond to a lady in a polite manner." Now Jenna was curious at just how this was going to unfold.He took her gently in his arms and kissed her jawline and neck with a tenderness and passion that one would never expect a statue to have.Jenna wanted to speak, but couldn't. His kisses were intoxicating, and she was powerless to resist.Not caring that another member of staff could enter the storeroom at any time, Jenna allowed Charles to undress her. He pulled her to the floor and unfastened his breeches."Oh, just as big as John's!" said Jenna, marveling as she took in the sight of Charles' enormous cock for the first time. The moisture between her legs had now grown so great that it actually began to drip down the inside of her thigh."I'll be gentle, my dearest one," the statue smiled.He shifted his position again, placed one hand beside her shoulder and advanced his knees between Jenna's parted lower limbs. In his other hand, he took his member and placed it at the entry to her cunt. He paused a moment and pushed forward. Jenna gave a brief wince, he was huge, and his cock, being made of bronze, was damned cold at first! Charles began to thrust.He pulled his hips back so that his hard cock withdrew partially from her sweet grip. He pushed forward again and buried himself back inside her. Jenna moaned at the sensation of him moving in her."Oh yes, please. More!"The feel of her wet flesh slipping over his sensitive head and shaft sent a shiver through him and he grunted from the pleasure of it.Suddenly, Jenna's eyes opened wide in surprise and delight and she gasped. She moaned and wrapped her legs around Charles to rock herself against him. She breathed harder and faster until she shuddered and cried out loud as she climaxed and writhed beneath him."Ah, ah, ah!"Charles felt his cock aching with the rising and uncontrollable tide of approaching release. He shouted his delight as he spurted his cum deep inside her."Ahh Jenna! Praise the Lord!"The trip to the museum had come to an end. Reverend Morris and the rest of the group had assembled in the foyer."Okay everyone, time to head back to the minibus. Are we all here? Oh wait, where's Jenna?""Haven't seen her since we arrived," Gordon said. "Maybe she's still upstairs?""I'll ring her phone," the vicar replied. It rang for a bit and then went to voicemail."Hmm, she's not answering. Right, I'll go and look for her."In the storeroom, tired and sweaty, Jenna still had her arms wrapped round the statue of Charles Wesley."Ooh I so needed that," she whispered, enjoying the sensation of cold bronze against her bare skin. "Charles are you, Charles?" Jenna opened her eyes and stood up. The statue was no longer alive, but just a normal statue."Did I send him back to the other side?" She wondered, as she got dressed. "Oh well. I finally got to meet Charles Wesley, and he was amazing! She planted a kiss on the statue's cheek. "I have got to liberate you from this storeroom!"Reverend Morris hurried along the first floor corridor. "Jenna, where are you? It's time to leave! Oh!" He noticed an iPhone on the carpet."Why that's her phone!" He bent down and picked it up. "Oh God, what's happened to her?"Suddenly, a concealed door in the wall paneling creaked open and Jenna appeared. Reverend Morris almost had a heart attack."Oh hello my love!" Jenna said. "Have you been looking for me? Sorry, I couldn't find the way back out and I dropped my phone.""That's okay, I'm just glad you're safe," Reverend Morris replied, handing her phone back. "What were you doing in there?""I just sort of fell into this hidden room," Jenna smiled, fiddling with her hair. "Listen Simon, there's a statue of Charles Wesley in there. Do you think the museum would sell it to me?"Later,"Most people are content with an overpriced mug or chocolates from the gift shop," Ahmed said as he, Josh and Barry loaded the statue of Charles Wesley onto the minibus. "First time I've ever seen someone buy a statue as a souvenir!""I just had to buy him," Jenna smiled. "I thought £300 was an absolute bargain. The statue dates back to 1925. It used to stand in the museum lobby, but it got damaged and they put it in storage nearly twenty years ago.""Definitely a bargain," Reverend Morris replied. "You're an expert at haggling! I didn't think they'd agree to sell it, but the staff seemed glad to be rid of it! You're right, he will look lovely standing in the garden. Mr. Wesley was such a good Christian and hymn writer, so a vicarage garden is perfect for him!""I'm so glad Charles is coming to a good home," Jenna said. First a ghost and now a statue. This holiday is turning out to be great fun! She thought.At the back of the bus, the statue gave a wink.How not to ring church bells.The final day of the trip had arrived."Won't be sorry to see the back of this hotel," Gordon moaned as he lumbered into the dining room. "I feel like leaving a one-star review on Trip Advisor! I didn't sleep a wink last night, given that I had to sleep on the floor."Barry looked irritated. "You know, there was no reason why you couldn't have returned to your own room. The vicar went in and said some prayers. I'm sure that ghost wouldn't have returned.""I wasn't prepared to take any chances!""You could've slept in our room, Gordon," Josh said. "There's a sofa in it.""Well fat lot of good that does me now! Why didn't you tell me yesterday?""Um yeah. I guess I, er, forgot."Reverend Morris appeared. "Good morning everyone! Now I'm hoping we can be back home by 4pm. I'm sure you'd all like join me in thanking our wonderful bus driver Ahmed for bringing us here in the first place."There was a round of applause. Ahmed stood up and bowed."Cheers guys. It's been, an experience driving you all!""Excellent," the reverend continued. "I know this short holiday hasn't been the most exciting trip, but I'm glad you all came. Alpha and Omega are a small company and they've really struggled during the pandemic, ""Any chance they'll start doing holidays to Benidorm?" Gordon piped up. "We could have a pilgrimage, visiting the pubs."The vicar rolled his eyes. "You know they only do religious-themed breaks, Gordon. Also they only do breaks within the UK or to overseas territories.""I thought Benidorm was a British overseas territory," Gordon replied."No you daft sod, it's the place with the rock," Barry whispered."Blackpool?""Gibraltar.""Oh."Seeing as we have plenty of time, I thought we'd make our journey back a bit more exciting. There's a lovely little church I'd like you all to see. It's got a delightful bell tower."The group had a distinct lack of excitement, but tried to look interested."Well I think it's been a lovely short break," Jenna said, trying to inject some enthusiasm. "I've really enjoyed myself. Especially that visit to the museum yesterday. A good thing the other place was closed, otherwise I'd never have got my beautiful statue of Charles Wesley!"The church of St. Mary was a quaint little place of worship. It was even smaller than St. Michael's."Ooh it's just like those you see in episodes of Father Brown," Jenna smiled. "The tower is really narrow."Reverend Morris nodded. "Indeed it is. We're going up there to have a go at ringing the bells, there are only two bells. I spoke to Father Julian on the phone earlier. Only two people can fit into the tower, so we'll have to go up in pairs.""I take it there's only two bell ringers?""Yes, although apparently there was an occasion when one person rang both bells all by himself!"The minibus pulled up outside the church, and the group filed in."Ah, greetings to you all!" A small, withered old man smiled, who wouldn't have looked out of place in a Charles Dickens novel."Thanks for allowing us to partake in this very special exercise, Father Julian," Reverend Morris said, shaking the old man's hand."Not at all! A pleasure to have visitors here at our church. "We don't get a lot at this time of year. Right, if you'd all like to follow me, and I'll lead you to the bell tower. It is a truly unique tower, I trust all of you are able bodied persons? The tower is accessed by a ladder, ""Did he say a ladder?" Gordon said, looking uneasy. "Uh-oh.""Right, as Reverend Morris has already explained, the tower has a maximum capacity of two people, so if you'd like to buddy up," Father Julian said. "Reverend, I'll take you up and show you the ropes as it were, unless you'd prefer to go up with your wife?""Oh it's okay, you go first, Simon," Jenna smiled. "I don't mind bell ringing with,” she glanced at Barry. "Someone else, ""Fine by me," Reverend Morris replied. "Lead the way, Father."Father Julian scrambled up the ladder with the agility of a mountain goat. "Just follow me. It's quite high. And the hatch is a bit of a squeeze."I'm not going up there!" Gordon muttered. "Just looking up at that is bringing on my vertigo and claustrophobia."Reverend Morris spent a good ten minutes taking photos and having a go at ringing the two bells."Gosh that was fun! I really enjoyed that. I'm sure the others will too. Lovely view of the Lincolnshire countryside. Bell ringing is much harder than it looks! I attempted to ring the bells at my church once, didn't do a very good job, alas!"Bishop Julian and Reverend Morris descended the ladder."Right, who wants to go next? Jenna and Gordon, how about you?"Gordon gulped. "Er, actually I think I'll sit this one out if you don't mind. Ladders and tiny spaces are a phobia of mine. I had this traumatic experience with a cathedral organ many years ago. I had to climb up into the organ loft and I ended up spending a whole weekend inside it."Sniggering broke out amongst the others."I read this article online about a guy in Florida who was an organist," Norman said. "He died after he shoved one of the organ pipes up his, ""Um yes, I don't think that's a suitable story for inside a church!" Reverend Morris interrupted, as Father Julian listened intently."I wonder if the pipe would've played a note if the man had broken wind? I mean, a fart is air, isn't it? And it comes out at high pressure." Father Julian wondered. "I wouldn't advise inserting an organ pipe up one's rear. Most tend to be made of lead, which is an extremely toxic metal. I assume lead poisoning is what killed the unfortunate fellow?""No Father. He died from a ruptured colon. He shoved the pipe too far in.""It's alright Gordon," Jenna interrupted. "I'll go up with Barry. We'll take some photos of the bells for you.""Thanks. Is there a pipe organ in this church? I think that would interest me a lot more.""Ah no pipe organ here, I'm afraid," Father Julian replied. "We don't have the space. In the 18th century, there was a clavichord. But nowadays we have a Yamaha electric piano."Gordon looked horrified. "A church without an organ? Sacrilege! Er, I mean, what a shame.""You're welcome to exercise your fingers on the piano," Father Julian said."Eh well, go on then."Father Julian gave Jenna and Barry a brief instruction on bell ringing before they ascended the ladder."I won't say ladies first," Barry said. "Talk like that gets you in trouble these days."However Jenna had already decided to go first. "Don't mind if I do, Barry!" She began climbing the ladder, and seemed oblivious to the fact that the short skirt she was wearing afforded Barry an up-skirter's ultimate fantasy. He cleared his throat as he began following her up the ladder."White panties, Umm, my favorite," he mused to himself. "A view one could never get tired of." His glasses started steaming up."Blimey, bit of a tight squeeze in here, isn't it?" Barry said, as he finally made it through the hatch and into the bell ringing chamber. Not much bigger than a toilet cubicle is it?" He put heavy emphasis on the words 'toilet cubicle.'"It's nice and intimate," Jenna said, winking at him. "Nice big pair," she said, looking at the bells."A little birdy told me you're good at playing instruments.""I play the piano, oh and Gordon's been teaching me to play the organ.""Mmm, yes. And he likes it when you play his 'little organ' too, am I right?""You seem to know a lot about me, Barry." Jenna grinned. "I think that little birdy must have been Gordon.""Oh he told me many interesting things about you. Your 21st birthday surprise in the church, for example. Now I'm a humble agnostic. But I think I've seen the light and I'm eager to join the Church of Jenna. But I need some help. What do I have to do to be accepted into this special church of yours?"Jenna walked up to him and ran a finger down his cheek. "Worship me."At that moment, Barry became a born-again worshipper.He kissed Jenna, slowly forcing her over until she fell back, this incredible feeling of his lips on hers. His head dropped to her breasts as his hands expertly sought out her darkest place. She felt a surge of electricity as his tongue ravished her nipples, his hand under her skirt, sliding her wet panties aside."Oh Barry. I think I'd better try and ring one of these bells."She pulled hard on the rope as his fingers delved in and out of her, her climax on the teetering brink of oblivion as the electricity shocked her nerves and her vaginal muscles clenched around his index finger while his thumb nudged her clit slowly."One of them isn't putting much effort in!" Reverend Morris remarked as he and the others heard a single bell being rung. "I bet Jenna's the one doing all the work."Jenna saw Barry smile as she reached orgasm. Damn, this man was skilled with his fingers! With one arm under hers, he half-lifted her until she was lying against his body on the floor of the bell tower.With that Jenna straddled him as she sat down on his lap, facing him and wrapping her arms around his neck. She couldn't stop herself and immediately reached for a kiss and her hips begin to grind slowly. Barry was startled a little by her gestures but couldn't resist."Jenna," he murmured, kissing her earlobe.His hands started feeling down her back and they squeezed her arse. She kissed his jawline and whispered something rude in his ear. He chuckled."Vixen, "She felt him thrust up against her as he groaned and she could feel how hard he was."You're really not the typical vicar's wife," Barry murmured. His hands started unbuttoning her top as her fingers began to unfasten his trousers. Her kisses got more passionate and hungry.Barry pulled away for a moment and unfastened Jenna's bra, her breasts springing forth. His hands began to caress them, squeezing them, running his palms up and down, feeling them jiggle as his thumbs rubbed her nipples. She breathed heavily, but stayed quiet and sucked on her lower lip to mute her desire to moan. It only turned Barry on further. He gave a quick tug on one of the bell ropes.Jenna freed Barry's cock from his boxer shorts and started teasing the head by sliding it up and down her tingling clit."Does he look familiar?" He asked."Hmm?"Barry grinned. "Gloryhole in Excelsis?"Her jaw dropped. "That was you?""Yes." He grabbed his shaft and slid it inside, thrusting himself up into her. The sensations sparked pleasure all through Jenna's body. She started riding him slow and choppy, feeling him deep inside her, feeling shocks of pleasure with each thrust. At the same time, he pulled hard on the bell rope."And they say men can't multi-task," Barry panted, as he rang the bell whilst fucking the vicar's wife at the same time.Jenna laughed and gasped. He felt so amazing and hot inside her. He fucked her hard. She started going faster and faster, unable to stop the momentum, the high getting higher and sweeter. His face showed total animalistic lust and want."Ahh!" she groaned.There was no stopping the rush of Jenna's second orgasm. The sensations filled her body as her face flushed. She opened her eyes and gazed into Barry's. He felt her climaxing and the amazing amount of wetness dripping from her. She was squirting all over the place. He closed his eyes as he climaxed too and filled her with his cum.Slowly, he withdrew his cock. Jenna was breathless."Well, Barry, I am pleased to say, you have been accepted into my church!""Good Lord, how hard were you yanking those ropes?" Norman and Josh said, as Jenna and Barry descended the ladder, looking extremely sweaty."Bell ringing is extremely hard work!" Jenna panted. "You don't need to go to a gym to have a great upper body workout!" To be continued.By Blacksheep for Literotica.

Welcome to I'll Marry You, a podcast by Olivia Coleman: full of tips and tricks from the UK wedding scene, interviews with industry experts, and a WHOLE LOT of oversharing!This episode is sponsored by Filmedonphones! Filmedonphones is an amazing service that makes it easy to film your own wedding by guiding your guests and gathering their footage. The end result is a fun DIY wedding video, made collaboratively with your friends and family. Have a listen to our episode with Ollie from filmedonphones, or visit filmedonphones.com to find out moreI'm back! And I have another tiny little human that now looks to me for all of its needs and wants. It is amazing. And hard. But amazing. But also, very hard. But - definitely - amazing.Blimey it's hard work though.But yes, here I am in my glamorous midwife costume as I catch you up on all of the goings on with the little person coming out of my body, and getting 2025 going with some more wedding related shenanigans, tips and tricks, looking mostly at YOU, PERSON WHO IS NEWLY ENGAGED AFTER THE CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR PERIOD!MEMBERSHIPS!We now have some memberships and some advertising slots! You can find all of the information here, but basically if you enjoy the show and want to give us a little financial support to help us keep making it, there is the Family and Friends tier, which gets you all of our episodes without adverts (when we have adverts) and permanent membership to a WhatsApp community for all of our listeners to chat and share weddings tips, and if you are either planning your wedding OR are just a big ole SuperFan, we have The Wedding Party tier, where you get everything in Family and Friends, but you can also join a video call with me to drink wine, be inappropriate and discuss your wedding plans!If you're not in a position to support us financially that is TOTALLY FINE AND WE LOVE YOU ANYWAY! The show will always be available for free on podcast apps and YouTube, but do consider following/subscribing on your podcast app of choice. And if you think we deserve it, give us five stars on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Podchaser! It doesn't bring in more listeners, but it DOES let them know that this is worth listening to if they find it!ADVERTISING!If you're a wedding supplier, in the membership link there are also three ad slots! We've got (and I don't like thinking about this) literally THOUSANDS of listeners now, and most of them are planning their weddings, so if you want to reach our audience and have me tell them about what you do, you can book ad slots on all of our past and upcoming episodes.If you're interested in having me join your wedding journey as your celebrant, or if you want any more information on what I do you can find more exciting details on my website: www.oliviacolemancelebrant.co.uk. You can also find me on Instagram @notthatoliviacoleman, Twitter on @illmarryyoupc - give me a follow!I would LOVE to hear from you if you have any wedding news or questions that you'd like to have answered on the show; you can email me, use my website contact form, or my DMs are open!Production InformationProduced and Edited by Drew Toynbee. Drew is a freelance digital content creator, editor and performer, hosting,...

Her Mentula Cōleī BaptismA Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Christmas was fast approaching, and festive events were in full swing at St. Michael's Church."Well not long to go until Jesus' birthday," Reverend Morris smiled as he and Jenna finished putting up their Christmas decorations. "Just two weeks. Which reminds me, there's another very special person's birthday a week before the festive season, ""Oh yes. I'd forgotten!" Jenna replied."Jenna my love, it's your 21st! You can't forget something like that. I want it to be a truly memorable birthday for you. Is there anything in particular you'd really, really like? Please give it some thought. Turning 21 is a milestone.""I will Simon. But I pretty much have everything I've ever wanted already," she smiled, slipping her arms round him.Later, Jenna was engrossed in reading something on her smartphone."Imagine that," she whispered to herself.Noticing her excitement, Reverend Morris became curious."What's grabbed your attention, Jen?"" Mentula Cōleī Baptism," she blurted out, without thinking.Her husband looked confused. "Pardon?""Oh! It's nothing. Just an old fertility rite of the Eastern Orthodox, in some Asian nations! The Japanese call it bukkake. The loose translation of ‘Mentula Cōleī' is ‘cock & balls'. And it follows the Anglican tradition of sprinkling. Er, would you like a cup of tea?”"Sure."Later, when Jenna was having a shower, Reverend Morris picked up his phone. "Bukkake, she said. How does one spell that, then?" He typed into the browser. Boocaka? Bookaki? Bukacay? On the third attempt, the browser's autocorrect suggested the correct term."Oh, so that's how it's spelt. He clicked on a Wikipedia link. "Good God!" He spluttered, as he read all about the act. When he'd finished, he chuckled to himself. "You learn something new every day. The Internet never disappoints, "At the Wednesday Eucharist, Gordon had just finished the recessional hymn. The midweek service always had a lower turnout than the Sunday service, but numbers had been steadily increasing all year."Morning Gordon," Reverend Morris said, appearing at the side of the organ."Oh hello vicar," the organist replied. "Quite full today. I don't know, the news says that Christianity is declining in this country but this church seems to be the exception.""It does, and that pleases me greatly. I can't speak for all churches in England, but knowing that our community here at St. Michael's is thriving, well it lifts my heart. I tend not to pay much attention to the news these days. Too depressing. Difficult times for so many. Strikes, cost of living and all that. Oh and England getting knocked out of the World Cup.""Mmm, yes," Gordon nodded. "Couldn't care less about football. I never watch it. Horse racing is my thing. How's Jenna and Christopher?""Oh they're both fine, actually I need to discuss something important with you, Gordon. Jenna's 21st birthday is next week. I was wondering if you could help me with something?""Certainly, vicar!" He replied, switching off the light above the organ's keyboards. "Happy to help in any way I can.""Okay, but not here. Come to my study right now, please.""Right you are," Gordon said. He didn't even have time to remove his robe and hang it up in the vestry. He was intrigued. The way the vicar was summoning him to the study sounded a bit ominous. He felt like a kid at school being summoned to the headmaster in order to receive a punishment. He meekly followed the vicar down the aisle."Close the door if you please," Reverend Morris said, as he beckoned the organist into the study. Gordon did as he asked, and was surprised to find Josh the curate, Father Aiden, Bishop George and Norman Winstanley the new churchwarden all waiting."Eh, what's all this, vicar?" Gordon exclaimed. "A lads-only party?""Gentlemen," Reverend Morris began. "I've invited you here because you are trusted spiritual mentors; and trusted friends of mine. As servants of God, you all have your own important tasks to perform. Now what I am about to ask you, requires a great deal of trust. As good Christians, I wonder if you'll be able to fulfil this very unique anointing ceremony a parishioner has requested."Father Aiden crossed himself. "I am always ready to do the Lord's work.""Me too," Gordon said. "And if there's free beer included, well that's a bonus!""Well this task concerns Jenna, my wife."The men in the study all fell silent. There was a great deal of shuffling feet and awkward coughs!One week later,"Where are we going, Simon?" Jenna asked, as he got into the car. She assumed they were going to a restaurant."The church. Just a little birthday surprise."When they arrived, Reverend Morris requested that Jenna close her eyes."Absolutely no peeking!" He said as he led her down the aisle."This is so exciting!" Jenna said. "Let me guess, the whole congregation of St. Michael's are going to leap out and yell Happy Birthday, right?""Close, but no cigar!" The vicar replied. "Now, just sit on this stool, "Father Aiden was driving down the high street, on his way to St. Michael's Church. His heart was pounding like crazy."I can't believe I agreed to take part in this," he mumbled to himself. "Lord in heaven, why am I doing this? Haven't I sinned enough already?"He fiddled with the car radio. Most of the stations were planning Christmas songs 24/7 now. Chris's Rea's Driving Home for Christmas started playing. This was the third time today he'd heard this song. Passing a Tesco Express store, Father Aiden decided he needed some Dutch courage before he could partake in the special "celebration" at the church. A cheap bottle of whiskey or gin would suffice. Parking up, he hurried into the store and walked straight into a woman who was loaded up with shopping."I'm so sorry!" He exclaimed, picking up the tube of gift wrap she'd dropped."Aiden?"He froze and looked up. "Róisín?""My God! It is you! I can't believe it!" the red-haired woman gasped."W-what are you doing in this neck of the woods?" Father Aiden said. "Did you leave Liverpool?""Sure did. I've jumped ship. I'm at the Living Earth Free Church now and I'm loving every minute. I've become a vicar, well they call us leaders. It suits me just fine. What about you, are you still with the Catholic Church?"The priest looked awkwardly at her. "Erm, sort of. I've been fighting a conflict with myself these past couple of weeks."Róisín smiled at him. "You think your future lies elsewhere?"He took a deep breath. "Maybe?"She put down her shopping bags and took his hand. "I've never stopped thinking about you, Aiden. I know you broke things off because you couldn't break your celibacy vows, ""Oh but that's the thing. I fled Liverpool and moved to this town, and the first thing I did was to break my celibacy vows, "Róisín's face fell. "Oh, so you've met someone?""Uh, No. It was just a, one-off. But it made me think that I'm just not cut out for a celibate life. And because of that, I can't continue in my current profession.""Well you're too attractive for that."A blush spread across the priest's face. "Would you like to go for a drink?""Thought you'd never ask! Let me dump this stuff in the car and then I'm all yours!""Sorry Jenna," Father Aiden said to himself as he slipped his arm around Róisín and they strolled into the town center. "But I'm sure you'll have fun without me. Thanks for helping me see the light though."Jenna could hear muffled whisperings and several male voices. She wondered what was going to happen next. "Can I look yet?""No not yet," Reverend Morris replied. "Just a sec, " The vicar ushered Gordon, Josh, Bishop George and Norman in front of the altar, where several candles has been lit. "Where's Father Aiden?""Guess he chickened out?" Gordon muttered. "Maybe he's in a confession booth? Ha-ha!""Oh well, fair enough. It was a lot to ask, Okay Jenna, you can open your eyes now!"Jenna opened her eyes, to see the organist, the curate, the Bishop, and the churchwarden all stood round her. Gordon was wearing his best suit and the black robe he wore when playing the organ, andJosh was wearing his cassock and surplice."Oh my. Good evening, boys!" She said. "Are you all here to wish me Happy Birthday?""We certainly are," Gordon grinned, rubbing his crotch. "We're here to give you the most memorable birthday ever, eh chaps? As it's a special one, and you're a very special lass, Jenna!""Aww, you're all so sweet," Jenna replied, still not aware of what was about to happen. "I love being part of this church.""And you've brought so much happiness to it," Reverend Morris said. Now it's time for us to repay your kindness." He nodded at Gordon and the others. "Now don't keep my lovely wife waiting, she's eager to be baptized!""Huh?" Jenna blinked. "Baptized?"Gordon volunteered to go first. He unzipped his trousers and pulled out his cock. "Come on lads, don't be shy, eh?" Seconds later, Josh and Bishop George did the same. Norman hesitated a moment, but finally followed suit and unzipped. Jenna's mouth dropped in amazement as four delicious erect cocks were pointed right at her. She was too stunned to speak, and turned to Reverend Morris, who was standing back from the others, and also wearing church vestments."This is our 21st birthday present to you," the vicar said. "A Mentula Cōleī Baptism." It's been part of early Assyrian Christian marriage ceremonies in Asia, to anoint a young bride's womb, before the couple consummates. The church elders would meet with the couple after the public ceremony vows, to anoint the virgin."Oh, my, God" Jenna gasped. "Simon, how?"The reverend simply put his hands together, as though in prayer. "I asked God for help in getting you the perfect present. He knows everything, you see. I'm just sorry that Father Aiden decided to opt out, and unfortunately the Archbishop of Canterbury was unavailable as he's currently in Ukraine. John Wesley's ghost, well one cannot book a last-minute appointment with the dead, alas. But I hope those of us that are here will satisfy you?"Jenna licked her lips. "Hell yes!" She knelt down before them. "Oh Gordon, I see you've got an organ pipe that needs blowing," she said as she pulled down his trousers and briefs and squeezed his erection. "Let's see if you can hit the right notes.""I always hit the right notes," he chuckled. "Especially when you're playing my instrument, ""Umm. You're an organist who always entertains," she commented as she lowered her mouth over the end of his cock.Jenna sucked on the head, tasting him as she ran her tongue over the sensitive opening, while pumping the shaft with her hand. She took more and more of his hardness into her mouth until she felt him hit the back of her throat. She relaxed and pushed on until she had his whole member in her mouth and she was nuzzling his silvery pubic hair. He groaned as he grabbed the back of her head and thrust into her mouth.Reverend Morris watched in admiration and amazement as his wife expertly sucked the organist's cock. Gordon was quite well-endowed, but that was no challenge to Jenna. Seeing her pleasuring another man like this had got him as hard as a rock. He massaged his erection through his cassock and surplice. Could she cope with more than one man though?Josh was growing impatient, and his cock was desperate for attention. "Fancy trying some younger meat, Jenna? I think you've fully re-tuned the organist's organ.""Don't rush the lass," Gordon sighed. "Wait your turn, lad!""I'm sure you can't wait to taste it," he said as he pushed his throbbing shaft in her face.Jenna didn't hesitate, she removed Gordon's cock and Josh pushed his erection deep into her mouth. He grabbed her head and she began sucking him hard."Oh yeah! Praise the Lord! Oh I'm coming!""So soon?" Gordon chuckled. You younger fellas have no endurance!""Now now, enough of that," Jenna said. Play nice." She unbuttoned her blouse, exposing her pert breasts. "Mmm, give me some cum, Josh!"The sight of her tits pushed the curate over the edge and he erupted, glazing them with his hot seed."So delicious! Thanks so much Josh. What an impressive load. No longer shy I see! Like I said, you'll make one hell of a vicar one day!" Jenna felt an intense tingling sensation of arousal and a moistening in her pussy. The crotch of her panties turned a darker shade of red as her nectar seeped out of her and soaked them. Reaching under her skirt, she began fingering herself."We vicars produce more cum, right?" Reverend Morris chuckled, jacking off in the background."Hell yes.""Organists produce a lot too," Gordon interrupted. "Oh fuck, now I'm coming, Jenna, .oh!"Jets of creamy white cum surged forth through the air from the tip of Gordon's thick "organ pipe." As the first of them struck Jenna's pale skin she could feel the warmth of the virile seed upon her face. More strands of spunk splashed across her cheeks. A jet catching her on the nose quickly dripped down across her lips and chin and filled her nostrils with its tangy odor. Jenna could feel the thick sticky goo mess her red hair. Jizz ran down her forehead in rivulets joining the cum on her nose and cheeks or getting stuck in a gooey mess in her eyelashes. By now her eyes were closing somewhat as she reached her own orgasm. Letting out a mewling moan she came to the plastering of her face with the organist's cum."Cum cantibus in choro. Cum canticis et organo!" Jenna yelled."I should know what that means, but I don't," Gordon panted."It translates as "let the organ thunder, let voice and organ sing."Gordon was smug, knowing that it was his spunk that had made her climax. "Latin is full of cum isn't it? How marvelous!""Wow Jenna, I'm impressed." Bishop George smiled, calmly presenting his cock to her. "You're an expert at playing the pipe organ. But now I have a bishop for you to bash.""Right Reverend, it is an honor to get my hands on your crosier again," Jenna said, pulling his trousers down."Bloody hell, are you wearing ladies' knickers Bish?" Gordon interrupted, noticing the pink panties. "You kinky bugger.""High ranking clergy need to be comfortable under their cassocks!" Bishop George replied. "Ah, Oh my God!" Jenna gently took hold of his shaft with one dainty hand and began to stroke his length. At the same time her lips slipped down to his balls and she began to suck gently upon one of them. When she took the entire orb into her mouth the bishop groaned as he felt her tongue began to tease the tender flesh. He could scarcely believe that this was happening, that the parish vicar's wife was on her knees before him sucking his pastoral staff in the church!Jenna took care to alternate from one of the bishop's plums to another as she stroked up and down his length with one hand. Droplets of precum had begun to escape the tip of his cock and she could feel them dripping down onto her forehead. She began to lick a wavy trail along the underside of his shaft moving her tongue from side to side as she worked her way towards the tip of his prick. When she reached the base of his head she opened her mouth, her tongue still touching his cock-head, and gripping at the base of his shaft she worked her hand down along his length forcing the precum out and straight onto her tongue."Wow," Reverend Morris said. "She's amazing. Taking the Bishop as well!""Blessed, " Bishop George said, closing his eyes and putting his bony hands together. "Jenna, I anoint thee!" He may have been the oldest man of the group, but he produced a tremendous amount of cum. Jenna hurriedly cast off her sticky blouse, just in time to be baptized in Bishop George's holy jizz. she almost wasn't prepared for the huge volume of cum he released, and this was far from over!"Oh dear Lord, Reverend!" She moaned, as the copious dollop of man-juice coated her face, breasts and belly, just about everywhere, mixing with the cum already released by Josh and Gordon. It was so viscous and creamy, fuck! Jenna was in ecstasy! She'd never imagined bukkake would be as good as this, and in the church, well that just made it even better! The candlelight reflected off her glazed breasts. It was all so overwhelming and she came a second time."Ready for some more, little vixen?" Norman the churchwarden said, offering his cock to her. "I'll tell you a Frank Carson joke. So, an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind of a joke?"Jenna giggled. "This cock of yours is no joke, Norman!" She grabbed it with both hands. "You've been good haven't you? Keeping your hands to yourself?""I kept my promise. I'd like to get my hands on you though. I think you'd better slip out of that skirt. It's already spunked up. Any chance I could squeeze that arse of yours?""I want you to cum all over my arse cheeks, Norman. Think you can manage that?""Is the Pope a Catholic?" Norman replied.Jenna slipped out of her skirt and tossed it on a pew. Now she was wearing nothing except a pair of drenched red panties, and her high-heeled sandals. Her tongue darted out as she licked the churchwarden's cock the way a cat licks up cream. Every inch of his shaft got the hallowed treatment as she expertly fellated him. She rubbed her nose and face against his balls, making him groan with joy."Bet that's more fun than guiding the flock to communion, right?" Gordon said."Not half!" Norman panted.Sensing he was about to come, Jenna removed his cock and turned round. Pulling her panties down, she presented her rear to him and Norman responded, sliding his cock against her welcoming arse cheeks."Alleluia!" Norman yelled. He hot-dogged her for a bit, but then his cock erupted, and thick spunk blasted across her tight buns. The salty goo coated her arse entirely, running down her thighs and dripping onto the church floor. Norman's cock twitched some more, spewing out some final strands of cum across Jenna's lower back."Mmm, that feels so good, Norman! Look at me! I'm covered in cum. This is wonderful! I love this so much! Oh thank you all so much!""Happy 21st Birthday Jenna," all four men said. Gordon walked over, wiped Jenna's face with a tissue and gave her a passionate French kiss. "You're amazing. Thanks for everything you've done for us."Next, Josh did the same. Bishop George kissed her on the lips and both cheeks. "A Holy Trinity Kiss for you," he said. Finally, Norman kissed her, and managed to give her arse a pinch at the same time."The birthday ceremony isn't quite over yet," Reverend Morris said, walking over and helping his wife to her feet. "Gordon, organ music if you please!""Right you are, vicar," the organist smiled, zipping up his trousers and hurrying over to the organ. The vicar nodded at Josh and Norman."Gentlemen. Please move the candles."They did as asked, and before Jenna could say anything, Reverend Morris gathered her up in his arms and laid her on top of the altar. Slowly, he slid off her red panties and handed them to Bishop George.Gordon began playing the great hymn of Charles Wesley, "And Can It Be", Jenna's favorite hymn."And now, allow me to give you my gift, my love!" Reverend Morris said. He spread Jenna's legs apart, fumbled with his surplice and cassock and freed his cock. Without hesitation he slid in and began to thrust inside her. Jenna moaned as her folds spread around her husband's holy rod. Nothing could have prepared her for being fucked on the altar! Following up his initial thrust the vicar began to pound his wife harder and deeper. Josh, Bishop George and Norman stood in front of the altar, holding the candles and singing the hymn.It didn't take long for Jenna to orgasm a third time. The organ sound, the lust-filled faces of the curate, bishop and churchwarden staring at her, her husband's thrusts, it sent her over the edge. As she came her eyes rolled back and her tongue hung limply from one side of her mouth. Reverend Morris grabbed her by the back of her head, his fingers wrapping in her sticky, cum-filled red hair, kissing her lips passionately. She was still cumming when he joined her. With a groan and uttering a quick muffled prayer to the Lord, he came, shooting his sacred seed inside her. While still buried inside her, cum began to overflow out around his cock, dripping on to the white cloth that covered the altar.Reverend Morris withdrew his cock, and spewed the last drops of his cum across Jenna's face. Extending a finger, he coated the tip in his jizz and marked the sign of the cross on Jenna's forehead."Happy Birthday Jenna, my love! I hope your present was all that you hoped it would be?"Jenna was so giddy, exhausted and overwhelmed, she could barely speak. A massive grin spread her face."It was the best birthday present ever! Thanks be to God!"Oh Cum All Ye FaithfulChristmas Eve had arrived, but over at St. Michael's vicarage, Reverend Morris was in a bit of a panic."Oh dear, what terrible timing," he sighed, as he put down his smartphone."What's up?" Jenna asked, handing him a glass of mulled wine. "Is it about tonight's carol service?""Unless I can find an organist willing to step in for Gordon, I'm afraid we'll be forced to have a rather muted carol service, with only the piano!" The vicar sighed.A look of horror spread across Jenna's face. "Oh no, Gordon! Is he okay?""Gordon's fine. It's his cousin Barry, who lives in Yorkshire. He's taken a tumble on some ice and broken his ankle. He's recovering at home, but he lives alone and can't manage by himself over Christmas. His daughter Lisa, lives in Florida. So Gordon has decided to stay with him until after the new year, when Lisa will be flying over.""Aww. That's so kind of him. Nobody should be on their own at Christmas. Let's hope Barry makes a speedy recovery. But the carol service just won't be the same without Gordon playing the organ. He's, taught me a lot, but I'm not up the standard where I can play fluently during a church service yet! The organ is so complicated."In truth, Jenna had spent rather more time playing Gordon's 8 inch organ rather than the church organ. "Simon, I'll gladly play the piano at the service, although you're right, it'll be feeble-sounding by comparison."Reverend Morris sighed. "I really appreciate that, my love. People are expecting a fantastic Christmas service this year, to make up for the two years we lost due to the pandemic. With all the bad news recently, they need cheering up. I've been going on about the carol service for weeks, promoting it online, putting ads in the gazette. I even forked out for an ad on the local radio. You simply can't have Hark the Herald Angels and O Come All Ye Faithful played on anything else but a pipe organ!""Is there nobody else who could take Gordon's place?""Not at such short notice. The service is only seven hours away! I phoned Tom Fishwick who used to play at St. Paul's, but he lives ten miles away and can't drive. He can't get here due to the train strikes. So I tried Sundeep Kapoor over at the Living Earth Free Church, but he's at home suffering from a chest infection, plus his cat has developed ringworm, so he's stressed out about that."Jenna groaned. "What a nightmare.""That just leaves Raymond Wilson, the organist at Oakwood Road Methodist Church. Oakwood had its carol service this morning, so he might be available. But, ""But what? Get on that phone pronto, Simon!""Raymond's notoriously difficult to work with," Reverend Morris replied. "I don't like to speak ill of people, but I'm not that keen on him. He's rude and awkward. A bit of an Ebenezer Scrooge."Gordon used to be a bit like that, before I was able to cheer him up, Jenna smirked to herself. "Oh I see. I wonder why he's like that?""Some people are just like that, and I don't think Raymond's that keen on Christmas anyway.""I don't mind speaking to him," Jenna said. "He doesn't scare me!"The vicar perked up. "Would you? I confess the last time I spoke to him on the phone, I got a tirade of abuse.""Leave it to me," the wily redhead replied, although she wasn't planning to speak to him by phone."I must dash, Jen. I've got to head over to the church hall and drop these foodbank items off, then I'm going to take this shopping round to Mrs. Grimes.""Don't wear yourself out, Simon. Big day tomorrow! Our first Christmas together, and my parents, your parents, Lucy, Debbie and Christopher will be joining us for dinner. It'll be so nice for Christopher to have a big family Christmas.""I always have the Lord's work to do!" Reverend Morris laughed, hurrying out. "Love you. See you later!"Jenna smiled to herself as she looked through the address book. "So this organist is like Scrooge is he?" She said as she found Raymond Wilson's home address. "Well Scrooge was redeemed in the end, after he saw the three ghosts. Oh that reminds me. Home Alone and the Alistair Sim version of A Christmas Carol are on later. Must make sure the TV is set to record them."Raymond Wilson had arrived home after playing the organ at Oakwood's carol service. He poured himself a brandy and slumped in an armchair. A tall skinny man, who looked to be in need of a good meal. He was fifty, but looked a lot older. Years of being hunched over playing the Methodist church's organ had left him with a stoop. In recent years, he'd let his white hair grow long until it was almost on his shoulders."Thank God that's over for another year," he muttered. He reached over to the side table and pressed the flashing button on the answerphone. There were two new messages.Beep"Hi Ray. It's Steve. Brandi and I really hope you can visit us for Christmas dinner tomorrow. Brandi's going to cook this time. I taught her how to use the microwave. See you about half-three. Love you!"Beep"Ray, it's Terry. The kids and I are gonna call round tomorrow morning to exchange presents. Noah's hoping Santa's going to bring him the latest Pokémon game. You did get Pokémon Scarlet didn't you? Oh and Mia has her heart set on that Bluey plush. Remember that? The big ones that they sell at the Asda Shop. Don't get any cheap fake stuff off the market stalls. Those soft toys that the Bulgarian guy with the gold tooth sells? Well they tend to have wraps of cocaine inside them, Okay, bye for now!"Raymond drank his brandy. "Bloody kids," he moaned. His younger brother's children were notoriously spoilt, and never wanted to spend any time with him, unless he had some money or a toy to give.He hadn't much time for his cousin Steve either, or his new wife, an airhead former porn star named Brandi Snaps.Raymond was dozing in his chair when the doorbell rang. "This had better not be another of those damned cold callers, ""Raymond Wilson? Hello!" Jenna smiled. She was wearing a Santa hat. Over a white top she had on a red Christmas jumper, bearing a slogan, "Pull My Cracker!" The tight sweater revealed the curves of her perky C-cup tits quite nicely and got her nearly as much attention as her skirt. The short pleated green skirt was just long enough to tease while leaving a good portion of her smooth white thighs visible. Then completing the look she had on a pair of long white socks that came up to a few inches above her knees and black patent leather shoes."Who are you?""I'm the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Cum, " she grinned. Blimey, he really does resemble Scrooge! She thought."Look I'm not in the mood for carol singers," Raymond muttered. He was about to close the door, but she quickly stopped him."I'm Jenna, wife of Reverend Morris over at St. Michael's. I came here because we really need your help!""Huh?" Raymond blinked, looking her up and down. "You're an improvement on his previous wife. So how can I help?""Please may I come in?" Jenna said. "It's so cold out here and my legs are freezing!""You should wear some tights instead of socks," Raymond replied. "Come in. I suppose you'll want a brew?""Oh no thank you, I won't trouble you," Jenna said, sitting opposite him on the couch. "I came to ask you a favor." She told him the church's predicament, and how they were in desperate need of an organist.Raymond folded his arms. "That's a big ask, Mrs. Morris. I've just done the service at Oakwood. It's bloody hard work you know.""Jenna, please call me Jenna. Look, my husband will pay you well. And I will make it worth your while too." She uncrossed her legs, and noticed him shift around in his armchair."How exactly will you make it worth my while? This sounds like bribery." He was starting to feel uncomfortable. He was pretty sure she wasn't wearing any underwear!"Picture the scene, Raymond. A Christmas carol service that's damp squib. Scores of disappointed people expecting to hear the rousing sound of a pipe organ, and instead having to endure the frail tinkling of a humble upright piano, that is long overdue for retuning. Picture the scene at next Christmas Eve. Nobody turning up at our church after last year's disappointment. I don't think my poor husband could bear the shame, ""Oh where's my small violin?" Raymond sarcastically replied."And I've been a good girl all year long!" Jenna continued. She put on her best pouty face and added a bit of a whine to her voice. That of course was a lie worthy of a politician. Standing up, she walked over and pressed her tight arse straight down at the middle of his lap. Pressing down, she gently ground her backside up against him as her hands came to rest on his knees."What the, Mrs, Jenna, this is hardly appropriate!" Raymond spluttered, but his erection prodded up between the curves of her arse, despite his protestations."I don't do appropriate when times are as desperate as this," Jenna sighed. As she spoke she reached a hand behind her and groped his crotch."Oh my God," Raymond groaned. He fumbled and unzipped his black trousers. Gripping his shaft tenderly, Jenna began to stroke his thick long cock. She could hear him whimper with arousal as she teased him."It's true about organists. They all have such impressive instruments!" She giggled."Uh, could I stand up?" Raymond gasped, and she let him. She helped slide his trousers down, pulling his white boxer briefs down with them. Her eyes lit up when she saw his cock spring up upon being freed from containment. This "organ pipe" was perfectly sufficient to sate her carnal designs."What a big instrument!""This is so wrong." Raymond panted, though his body clearly had other feelings on the subject."It's a necessary sin," Jenna replied. She reached down and cupped his hairy balls with one hand while wrapping her fingers around the base of his cock and bringing her face in close to it. Her seductive eyes looked up into his as she pursed her cherry red lips and kissed the organist's fat cock head.It had been a long time since Raymond had experienced any sexual pleasure, having been divorced for many years. He'd never enjoyed a blowjob half as good as this, however. It was almost more than he could stand. Seeing this stunning twentysomething vicar's wife gobbling on his dick had him on the verge of spewing his load right down her throat. Sensing he was close, Jenna pulled his cock out of her mouth and stood up. Pushing him down onto the couch, she straddled him. Raymond's cock teased past her entrance and deep into her pussy. Once he was inside he began to fuck her hard."Oh God yes, Raymond, give it to me! She was delighted with the stamina of this man. To look at him, you'd think he was a frail chap who could be felled by a faint breeze. Never judge a book by its cover. In his twenties, Raymond had been a notorious bare-knuckle fighter.Jenna's yells sent the organist over the edge. With one last thrust, he groaned out loud as his balls surrendered their gift and his thick jizz spurted out inside her."Umm, oh Raymond! Fill me up, Raymond! Feels so good! Oh my God, I'm coming! Ah!"When they'd both calmed down a little, she pulled up off his cock till it slipped all the way out. She stood up straight and closed her thighs, feeling his spunk oozing out of her. "So, Raymond. Will you play the organ at the carol service at St. Michael's tonight? It starts at 6.30. If you could be there at 6, that would be perfect. I'll be directing the choir.""I'll do it. No problem, I'll be there, no problem." Raymond panted, completely dazed. "Tell, your husband, .I'll, .do it for free, ""Aww, I can't thank you enough, Raymond. You're so sweet." Jenna kissed him. "Goodwill to all men, (that includes women too), now that's the true spirit of Christmas, isn't it? Right, I'd better get going. I'll see you later, at the church!"The Christmas Eve carol service at St. Michael's had a bigger attendance than Reverend Morris could ever have hoped for. The church was so packed, that extra chairs had to be provided. For two brief hours, everyone who attended had a superb time and were able to experience comfort and joy, and it more than made up for the two Christmases that had been ruined by the pandemic. During the interval, mince pies and mulled wine were provided.Raymond Wilson performed his duties as an organist to perfection and literally pulled out all the stops. He was true to his word. The St. Michael's organ was much larger than the one he usually played, but it didn't faze him. Thanks to Jenna, he learned to love Christmas again. Like Scrooge, he became "as good a man as the old city ever knew."God bless us, every one!To be continued.By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

SAN ONOFRE-desplegamos la alfombra onofrita para Cod i Howie https://www.ivoox.com/podcast-podcast-san-onofre_sq_f1146007_1.html Howie Reeve + Cod O´Donnell. Lunes 10 febrero 2025. 20:00 h. Arcadia. 10 evros SAN ONOFRE inquirimos a Mareike: "¿Qué se cuece por La Juglar?" Cosa buena, claro. Pero lo que verdaderamente nos ocupa este reo es dar la estocada definitiva a la promoción onofrita para nuestra siguiente liturgia, ya anunciada desde hace meses y meses. Nos visitan dentro de sais jornadas, sais, Howie Reeve y Cod O´Donnell en Guadalajara. Reserven su boletín YA en esta misma dirección eléctrica onofrita. Step right up, folks. ¡Pasen y vean, pasen y sientan! Va a ser apocalíptico, palabra que profirió Cod en referencia a la tormenta que sacudió a Edimburgo la semana pasada, de guisa qvasi-simultánea a la interviú que perpetrábamos al hombre de Dunbar. Sí, Dunbar, la única palabra en el idioma de Country Teasers que tiene doble acento prosódico. Nosotros, empero, ponemos la tilde en que se procuren Vstedes un boletín. Sí, they´re getting scarce as hen´s teeth. Ya disponible nuestro librito jenkins Angloentrevistas Traducidas, Vol. 2 https://libritosjenkins.bigcartel.com/product/angloentrevistas-traducidas-de-san-onofre-vol-2

Dinner with the Archbishop of CanterburyA Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. On Monday afternoon, a letter arrived at the vicarage that took Reverend Morris by surprise."I don't believe this!" He gasped, reading the letter out loud to Jenna. "It's from Bishop George. He says that Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury is planning to visit next week.""Whoa, " Jenna spluttered."Yup. You and I have been invited to dine at Bishop George's place. Apparently the Archbishop is visiting several dioceses, and parish churches, and for some bizarre reason, humble little St. Michael's church has caught his eye! Bishop George states that I'll be receiving a letter from the Archbishop over the next few days, outlining the reason for his visit.""Wow, what a tremendous honor for you, Simon!" Jenna smiled, flinging her arms around him. "Well you're the best vicar ever, so he obviously wants to give you some sort of award!""Hmm, maybe?" Reverend Morris re-read the letter. "This is totally unexpected, and a bit bizarre. I can't get my head round it.""I remember seeing Justin Welby give that speech when we were watching the Queen's funeral." Jenna said. "And to think, we're going to get to meet him! This is really exciting!""I wish I shared your optimism my love, but I can't help but thinking that there's a catch."A few days later, Reverend Morris' fears were confirmed when a second letter arrived."I don't believe this!" The vicar lamented as he read the Archbishop's letter. "It has come to the Archbishop's attention that there is a big plaque in St. Michael's church that commemorates a local man called Henry Barrington-Smythe, who died in 1695 and worshipped at the church. According to the covert research conducted by the Archbishop, Henry once owned a horse that he sold to someone whose second cousin twice removed, was involved in the slave trade.""I can see how that could be seen as quite triggering in this day and age," Jenna said. "But I'm sure the horse wasn't bothered."Reverend Morris slapped his forehead. "Oh this is a nightmare. The Archbishop recommends that the plaque is removed. It's not that simple though. It's actually carved into the wall, near the organ pipes. To remove it, would cause terrible damage to the wall! Our little church is so old, and we've worked so hard to fundraise to repair the roof."Jenna narrowed her eyes, seeing how distressed her husband was. This situation needed rectifying immediately."Simon, try not to worry. When we dine at Bishop George's place, you will have the chance to put your point across to the Archbishop. Has he made this information about the plaque public?""No," Reverend Morris replied. "To be honest, I know hardly anything about this Henry Barrington-Smythe chap. I Googled him once, and information was really scarce. Nothing on Wikipedia. A few obscure paragraphs on the parish register. He was vicar here during the 1670s and left a lot of money to the church in his will."Jenna smiled. "Oh good. So what we have here is a controlled situation.""For now. I expect he'll tweet all about it after the meeting."We'll see about that, Jenna thought to herself.The day of the meeting arrived. Reverend Morris anxiously fiddled with his clerical collar and kept checking his watch. Nearly time to set off to Bishop George's house.Presently, Jenna came breezing into the sitting room, where her husband stood, gazing out of the window at the front garden beyond. In a pale pink gown, pearl cross earrings, and her red hair swept back, she looked more suited to a red carpet event in Hollywood than a sober meal with the clergy."Do I look alright?" She asked, knowing full well what Reverend Morris' response would be."Oh my God, wow, you look absolutely beautiful as always, Jenna. Right well, we'd better get going.""Try not to worry, Simon." She said, kissing him. "It might not be as bad as it seems."He sighed. "St. Michael's church means so much to me. I treasure its heritage. You and I, we've both worked so hard to build up its congregation, raise money to restore the roof, the stained glass windows and to fix the dry rot in the vestry.""And we shall continue to treasure it. Don't you worry. Things might turn out alright. I'm sure an acceptable compromise can be reached.""I hope so."They headed to the car. A plan was forming in Jenna's mind. Justin Welby isn't the best-looking of men, she thought. Mind you, I don't plan on looking at his face,Bishop George was stood at the door of his home when Jenna and Reverend Morris arrived."Great to see you both!" He smiled. "Can't say I'm happy at what the Big Boss is proposing here.""You and me both, George," Simon sighed. Jenna winked at the bishop."Right, do go in, make yourself comfortable, there are refreshments waiting. Dinner shall be served at six. Bishop Finch was supposed to be here too, you remember him? Alas, he cried off. Dishonest and he drinks. Good bishops are so hard to find these days, eh?" Bishop George ushered him in. As Jenna walked past, he winked back at her."I've got your red lace panties on tonight," he whispered."A great choice!" Jenna whispered back.Reverend Morris sipped a sherry as he nervously awaited the Archbishop's arrival. Five minutes later, there was the sound of a car door being slammed shut, and Bishop George could be heard welcoming someone."He's coming," Reverend Morris gulped. "Why do I feel like a little kid about to be sent to detention?""God is with us," Jenna replied, patting his thigh.Bishop George entered the room. "It is a great pleasure to welcome our Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, to dine with us this evening. Jenna and her husband stood up."Oh good, he's come alone," Jenna smiled, fearing that his wife might have accompanied him. He was clad in a grey jacket, with black shirt, black trousers, a clerical collar and a large cross round his neck.Everyone shook hands. "Ah, Reverend Morris," the Archbishop began. "The vicar of St. Michael's. Nice to meet you at last.""Thank you, Your Grace. And this is Jenna, my wife."Jenna was quick to offer her hand. "I've wanted to meet you for such a long time, Your Grace. You're sitting next to me at the table!"The vicar's young and stunning wife had certainly caused the Archbishop to raise an eyebrow. "Am I? Well lucky old me. I am very honored!" Privately, he was astonished that the mild-mannered vicar of St. Michael's had managed to pull such a gorgeous woman. He was normally immune to such things, but found himself rather shamefully gawping at Jenna's cleavage."What a mercy she wasn't at the Queen's funeral," he said to himself. "If she'd been sat in the crowd, I'd have struggled to concentrate."The pre-dinner conversation between Reverend Morris, Bishop George and the Archbishop remained cordial, if not a bit overly formal. While the three men spoke, Jenna was a constant figure at the Archbishop's side; laughing at his unfunny jokes, pretending to enjoy his boring stories of ministry in Africa, inquiring about Westminster Abbey, and generally hanging on his every word like an infatuated student with her tutor.Bishop George suggested his guests seat themselves at the table in preparation for the first course. The Archbishop took his seat. On his right was Jenna, and Reverend Morris was opposite him."Bishop George is such a good cook, Reverend Morris prattled nervously. "I've dined here before and his roast dinners are something to marvel at. I, I enjoy cooking too."Sensing her husband's discomfort, Jenna cut in. "He's a much better cook than I am. Most things I cook aren't suitable for human consumption."The Archbishop chuckled. "Let us say a prayer before we dine."The first course passed without incident, but Jenna was hungry for something else. The Archbishop had launched into a lengthy monologue about hurtful plaques and statues, and Jenna sensed it was time to act. Bishop George was in the kitchen and Reverend Morris excused himself as he needed to go to the bathroom. She was alone with the leader of the Church of England, the ceremonial head of the worldwide Anglican Communion. Now was the time for the vixen to catch her prey."You've done so many impressive things during your tenure, Your Grace. Words cannot explain how much I admire you," she continued, flattering him off the scale.""Why thank you Jenna. "I appreciate your kind words!"Jenna continued. "Your Grace, I ask you as a good Christian, would you not consider dropping this little investigation into this pesky old plaque in my husband's church? Your letter has caused him a great deal of worry, you have no idea how much, "The Archbishop adjusted his glasses. "Jenna, I have no wish to cause any distress to your husband. I am simply trying to ensure that our C of E churches are inclusive to all, and devoid of harmful imagery."He had been quietly sipping his soup. Suddenly, a strange sensation made him almost drop his spoon. Something was moving up his right leg and pushing his legs apart, the mystery thing continued to rise higher, now it was nudging his inner thigh, he realized it was Jenna's hand."Are you enjoying your soup?""Um, Jenna, what are you doing?""As I was saying, your letter has stressed my husband out so much, that he and I have been unable to make love all week. Can you imagine how upsetting that has been?" Jenna continued, furtively sliding her hand across his thigh and squeezing gently.The Archbishop glanced down and then at her. "Um, well I'm very sorry to hear that."She smiled back and began rubbing his inner thigh very gently. He cleared his throat and blushed. She said nothing, but continued gently rubbing, and moving closer to that treasure she wanted to touch most of all."Do you realize what you're doing? I am a married man!" He whispered."I do, but you pride yourself on having a liberal outlook, yes? Anyways, there is a holy place I would very much like to explore, if I may be permitted to do so, if I may be so bold as to request permission from Your Grace, ""You are, a rather naughty vicar's wife," he whispered back, feeling his cheeks flushing."You haven't granted permission, Your Grace."The Archbishop took a deep breath. Why was he giving in to temptation so easily? If he refused, would she kick up a fuss? Bishop George and the vicar could return at any moment."Mrs. Morris, you may do as you wish. I am yours to explore, "This was all the permission she required. Before the Archbishop could complete his sentence, Jenna reached across the startled man's lap and quickly unzipped his trousers. He could not believe the dexterity and speed at which his beautiful assailant nimbly accomplished the task. He shot an astonished wide-eyed glance at the temptress seated next to him. Guessing his thoughts, Jenna flashed a mischievous smile and said, "Your Grace. I heard that there's a name for a bishop's staff. It's called a crosier. Am I right?""Er, yes. That's right."Jenna swiftly freed the Archbishop's staff from his white boxer shorts. He may not have been the most handsome of men, but he had a gorgeous cock. It wasn't a monstrous length like Father Aiden's or thick like Gordon's, but it was impressive all the same. Definitely holy!The Archbishop's back stiffened and he caught his breath as he felt Jenna's soft, warm fingers wrap around his engorged fuck pole. The touch from this ravishing young beauty in the most sensual of spots sent chills throughout his body. He suppressed a gentle moan in the back of this throat as Jenna began to slowly run her hand up and down the shaft.She knew to vary the speed of her up and down motion, and could sense when the Archbishop was reaching peak ecstasy. Before he could achieve sexual release, Jenna slowed her pace or altered the movement in order to delay gratification. She wanted the Most Reverend's pleasure to extend for as long as possible. Jenna explored every feature along the length of her newest conquest's fleshy sceptre. Her delicate fingers rippled over the veiny surface, massaged the soft foreskin, and gently squeezed the head. When she reached the shaft's base, the eager filly worked her slender digits along the Archbishop's inner thigh and cupped his balls, juggling them with her fingertips."Your Grace, I beg of you. I want to go further and worship properly. However I cannot do this unless you agree to scrap your suggestion that St. Michael's remove its plaque to Henry Barrington-Smythe. Let him and his horse rest in peace, yes? Neither of them kept slaves. I'm sure Henry sold his horse in good faith and had no idea what links the buyer had. A few years ago I gave my old smartphone to a woman at work who turned out to be a massive fan of Cliff Richard. Some might say that was a crime against humanity."The Archbishop was desperate to come. Sweat had broken out on his forehead and his glasses were steaming up. "Okay, you have my word," he sighed. "I'll scrap the whole thing!""Thankyou, .dear Justin!" She said, using his Christian name for the first time. Carefully, Jenna removed one of her earrings. The Archbishop had to stifle a gasp as she slid out of her chair and under the table. "God," he murmured, almost incredulous at her conviction and boldness. Then with almost no hesitation, she dropped her head and closed her mouth around his throbbing shaft.The Most Reverend's breathing started to become more rapid and shallow, an indication Jenna recognized as signaling her oral exertions would soon be ending. Wanting to provide the head of the church with the greatest amount of pleasure possible, Jenna's grand finale was to deep throat his cock and vigorously jerk up and down on it. This motion had the desired effect within moments, as a muffled groan escaped the Archbishop's mouth. Jenna felt the holy rod in her mouth recoil as it shot a mighty stream of pearl-colored ejaculate down her throat. This first round was quickly followed by a second and then a third as the Most Reverend's balls unloaded their thick, milky contents. Jenna swallowed and savored every drop. It is a truth not universally acknowledged, that the taste of a man, especially a man of God, is the finest taste in the world, she thought. A final spurt missed its target and splashed down her cleavage.Only after the last discharge was launched and the Archbishop leaned back in his chair exhausted and sweaty, did Jenna finally withdraw.The Archbishop jolted in panic as Bishop George and Reverend Morris returned to the dining room. He quickly poured himself a glass of water and swallowed it. He wondered how to warn Jenna, but she'd already sensed it was time to return to her seat."I'm sorry I was so long," Reverend Morris mumbled. "Call of nature and all that.""And silly me, I forgot to turn the oven up, but worry not, the roast beef is nearly ready!" Bishop George replied."Understood," panted the Archbishop, wiping his glasses.Bishop George tilted his head at his Jenna's empty chair, and the movement under the table. He raised the tablecloth."Oh I say, Jenna. Have you lost something?""Just my pearl earring," she calmly replied. "But fortunately, I have now found it."Bishop George nodded and gave a wry smile. "So I see. And you seem to have gained a pearl necklace too!"A Ghost Appears at the Methodist Church"What are your thoughts on ghosts, Jen?" Reverend Morris said as he climbed into bed.Jenna reclined next to her husband, and ran a finger through his chest hair. "Hmm, never given them much thought. I keep an open mind. I've never seen one myself, but I'd like to! I wouldn't be scared. Just really fascinated.""I might get to see one tomorrow. I've just had a rather desperate email from Reverend Marsha Ewing over at the Oakwood Road Methodist Church. She's at her wits end. Says her church has been haunted by a persistent ghost ever since Halloween. She's tried walking around splashing holy water on the walls, saying a prayer of deliverance, but to no avail. The church has had to remain closed all week.""Whoa, that ghost must really like the Methodist church then!" Jenna said. "I haven't been in there since I was a little girl. My gran is a Methodist. I remember going to a few services. I remember it being light and airy inside, with the white balcony and pale yellow walls.""Well it's not just any old ghost that's taken up residence there. Reverend Ewing is adamant says that it's the ghost of John Wesley.""What, the John Wesley? The founder of Methodism?" Jenna blinked."Yes. That's the bit I find really hard to believe. Not saying that Reverend Ewing is lying of course. I just can't understand why John Wesley of all people, would choose to return to this earthly realm. I mean, he was a true servant of God, a good man, who preached to the masses and led a long, pious life. Why would his soul suddenly become restless and earthbound?"Jenna was fascinated. "Maybe he didn't choose to return. Maybe someone or something lured him back, and he's got trapped somehow? Don't they say on All Hallow's Eve, the barrier between the dead and the living is broken and the dead can pop back for a visit? Or something?""Good theory!" Reverend Morris replied. "Wesley did visit the site where the Oakwood church now stands. The church wasn't built until Victorian times, but he preached out in the open in the 1770s. The very spot where he stood is marked by a bronze statue of him. Anyways, Reverend Morris has decided to ask other members of the clergy for help. She's asked me to go along to the church tomorrow. Hopefully two vicars are better than one, and we can help John to return to the other side, so to speak.""Shouldn't Father Aiden be called along too? Like in the Exorcist?"Reverend Morris laughed. "I once watched that movie with some mates at university. I really regret eating at the time, it put me off soup for weeks. Bit different though. That was movie about demonic possession, not a haunting."Jenna thought for a while. "If you ask me, having John Wesley actually appear could be a fantastic tourism opportunity for the church. Think of the visitors it could attract. Maybe he just wanted to see one of his old worship spots again. I wish he could've brought his brother Charles along. You know how much I'm a fan of him. Did I ever tell you I once had an erotic dream about him?""No? Tell me more!""I was working as a tavern wench, when Charles arrived, weary after a long journey from Bristol. I led him to a bedchamber. He told me he was travelling to London, to visit his brother, John."Jenna rolled over and kissed him. The Reverend's tongue darted into her mouth, fondling hers. Her left arm stretched across his back with her hand resting between his shoulders. With her right hand, she reached down the front of his boxer shorts, slowly tracing up and down the length of his engorged cock with her palm."And, I helped Charles overcome his writer's block, so he was able to write Hark the Herald Angels Sing."She pulled down his boxers and rolled her tongue around the head of her husband's cock, trying to get every drop of precum."Oh, I'll never be able to think of that carol in the same way again!"Next morning, Reverend Morris headed to Oakwood Road Methodist Church. It was a small, solidly-built structure, sandwiched between a row of terraced houses, their brickwork still smoke-blackened from the days of the Industrial Revolution."This part of town never seems to change," Reverend Morris said to himself, as he parked the car. "They call it the Victorian Quarter."The vicar of Oakwood Road Methodist Church was Reverend Marsha Ewing, a jolly, middle-aged black woman. Originally from South Carolina, she'd emigrated nearly ten years ago, and put her heart and soul into running the church. Even the dismal British weather couldn't dampen her spirits. Now for the first time, she looked a little stressed."Thanks for coming, Simon," she said as he entered the church."Not at all," he replied. "Always happy to assist a fellow person of the cloth. A most unusual situation this. I've never been called upon to be a "deliverance minister" before. First time for everything I guess!""I've been going out of my mind with this. Ol' Mr. Wesley ain't for staying' quiet! I've tried everything to placate the guy but nothing works. I've tried prayer, singing hymns, talking to him. Went through the whole Ghostbusting routine. I asked Róisín, the vicar from the Living Earth Free Church to call round yesterday. She's only been in the role a few weeks, but very willing to help. We both prayed together, hoping John would find peace. But it didn't work and this morning, John appeared again, in the vestry. Took me by surprise. Started blowing papers around. And the church goes so darn cold when he appears. Actually saw him full-length today. I asked him directly, why is he so upset? He said he couldn't say why, but there's only one person who can help him. I pressed him further. He just said the person he needs lives in this town. Wouldn't say if they're male or female.""Blimey," Reverend Morris said, rubbing his chin. "That's a bit vague. It could be anyone. The population of this town is around 100,000 people! How are we ever going to find out who the right person is?""One of the wardens suggested I post something on the church's Facebook page, but I'd rather keep it all as quiet as possible. We've already had folks making hoax phone calls and posting memes and stuff on Twitter. It ain't funny. Most of my congregation are seniors. They don't want any fuss. Some of them think I'm making the whole thing up, as a sort of viral marketing campaign to increase attendance. Some of the comments online have been nasty."Reverend Morris sighed. "I'm sorry to hear that. Well, let's pray together and see if we can help John. Not sure if I'm the one he seeks, but there's only one way to find out!""Mm, hmm." Reverend Ewing nodded. "John Wesley is very dear to all of us here. He stood in the very spot where that statue is." She pointed to the bronze statue in the corner. "I don't want folks thinking I'm mocking his memory or anything. Must say I haven't experienced anything like this since the Orangeburg Incident of 1999.""The what?""Oh it was when I was back in the States. So, on the night of New Year's Eve 1999, Abraham Lincoln suddenly appeared in a branch of Walgreens. Many blamed it on drug-induced paranoia brought about by the hype of the coming Millennium.""Fascinating stuff," Reverend Morris replied. He walked over to the Wesley statue. On a table next to it, were three large, newly-lit candles."Tell me, does he look exactly like his portrait?""Oh yes. Long white hair. Dressed all in black and with preaching bands. He's a short stack too. Around five foot four? Slightly built. He looks so miserable though, like he needs a hug or something.""The state of the world right now, I think we all need a hug," Reverend Morris said. "Okay, well I'll try my best. If I fail, I'll have to give Father Aiden from St. Gregory's a call. Let's start by saying the Lord's Prayer."The flames on the candles, which had been steady, flared and writhed, drawn upward by a draft that the two of them couldn't feel. Salamanders of yellow light wriggled across the previously dark side of Reverend Ewing's face. When she looked at the candles, her eyes were as yellow as moons low on the horizon."He's coming."Quickly the candle flames subsided. The church chandeliers dimmed and brightened, dimmed and brightened, like the flickering lights in the classic old movie Gaslight. Reverend Morris felt a growing sense of fear. The temperature in the church had plummeted.He tried talking to the spirit directly. "The Lord be with you. Lift up your heart, John. I welcome to you to this place of worship. My name is Reverend Simon Morris and I, "From behind him came not a hand and not, as he might have expected, a blast of heat, but a hissing cold that first prickled the nape of his neck and then seemed to drill into the summit of his spine, through the base of his skull.Throughout all this, Reverend Ewing remained calm. "Simon," she whispered. "He's behind you."He didn't want to turn round, afraid of coming face to face with some eldritch abomination, but he summoned his courage. There, stood right behind him, as plain as day, was John Wesley himself. At first glance, he resembled any other living person, save for a faint aura of silver light surrounding him."Um, greetings to you, Mr. Wesley." The vicar stammered. He wondered why he was so afraid. Of all the dead persons one could meet, John Wesley was surely one of the nicest, most inoffensive ones.John's face relaxed into a smile. He put his hands together and bowed. "I thank you most sincerely. Soon, I shall experience salvation, for you are known to this person whom I seek. I hope you can bring her to me soon. I bid you a good day, "He bowed and vanished. Suddenly, in the space of thirty seconds, it was light and bright in the church. The lights stopped flickering and the gloom lifted. Outside, the clouds had rolled back from the sun. The building was suddenly and unexplainably warm too, as if the temperature had risen by about five degrees.Reverend Morris dared to exhale. "Oh! Well, that, wasn't too nerve-racking! He's a very polite ghost isn't he?""Simon, did you hear what he said? He said her. A female relative or friend of yours is the person he's seeking!""Wonder who it could be? Not my mum, surely. Could be Aunt Susan? I'm not seeing the connection here.""What about your wife?" Reverend Ewing suggested.He blinked. "Jenna? Oh of course! it must be her! Her grandma is a Methodist! That must be why John wants to see her!"To be continued.By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

A sequel to "Jenna Goes to Church"A Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.  More fun with the ever-horny Jenna and the good chaps of St. Michael's church and beyond!At the Vicarage Social, Jenna meets an ordained Catholic Priest.A full year had passed since Jenna Fox had started attending St Michael's church. During that time, she'd carried out God's work and in the true Christian spirit, brought much happiness to several male members of the church, thus helping them to become better Christians. In her new role as a vicar's wife, she finds there are still many other men of the church in need of guidance,Reverend Simon Morris and his wife Jenna were holding their annual November social at the vicarage. November always seemed such a depressing month, when, after the initial excitement of Guy Fawkes Night, nothing much happened. Christmas was still a little too far away, although the shops had been selling festive stuff since September. It got earlier every year.The usual members of St. Michaels church were in attendance, Gordon Leesmith the church organist and choirmaster, Josh the curate, Bishop George, Yulia et al, plus a few new faces from other churches that Jenna hadn't seen before.Jenna was wearing a low-cut, black velvet dress and a diamond encrusted cross necklace. A couple of times, she caught a tall, serious-looking man in the corner of the room staring at her. He quickly averted his eyes when she looked at him."Wonder who he is?" The chap was clad in black and wearing a clerical collar, so evidently a vicar or priest of some kind. She knew most of the clergy at the local churches, but had never seen this guy before.Gordon was circulating, and on the hunt for a toilet. Beer always went straight to his bladder."Great atmosphere Jenna," he said, winking at her. "You look lovely by the way.""Why thank you," she winked back. "You look rather fine yourself. That navy blue suit, Umm. We need more men in suits. Down with casual dress I say!" The organist still turned her on, despite her offloading him onto Yulia's willing friend Martika. "A shame Martika couldn't attend tonight.""Yes, she's been struck down with flu. Been in bed all week.""Aww." They looked at each other. Gordon's face bore an expression that was pretty much screaming, "I am unbearably horny and really need a fuck right now, I know you're the vicar's wife now but I still fancy you like crazy and miss your lips on my cock, ""Er is there a downstairs loo here?" He said. "There's a queue for the upstairs one and I'm bursting for a pee.""Afraid not. Hard to believe in a house this size I know. There's always the back garden. Plenty of bushes and it's dark." Jenna replied, and tossing him a crumb of hope, added. "I might join you out there later."Gordon's face lit up. "Okay. Thanks!"Jenna scanned the living room. Presently, her husband appeared. "Nice to see so many guests. I didn't think so many would turn up!""I know, It's great!" Jenna couldn't help but notice that there were way more male guests than female ones. "I wonder why that is?" She grinned to herself. "By the way, who's that guy in the corner over there? He looks like he's at a funeral rather than a vicarage social. His face could turn milk sour."Reverend Morris looked. "Oh. That's Father Aiden. He's a Catholic priest. Only been in this neck of the woods for a few weeks. He's taken over at St Gregory's. Prior to that he was based in Liverpool. Huge Irish community there of course, and I believe he was born in Dublin.""Can't get more stereotypically Irish, can he?" The name, the look: Father Aiden had black hair, pale blue eyes and a bone-white complexion. His hairstyle struck Jenna as being somewhat old-fashioned, with sideburns."He'd be good at playing a vampire. Why's he looking so miserable? Is it because he's in a Church of England vicarage?"Reverend Morris laughed. "Ha! No, my love. All denominations are welcome at this vicarage, we've got the Oakwood Road Methodist guys here too and the Living Earth Free Church. From what I've heard, Father Aiden is just a very serious man. It's just how he is. He's probably enjoying himself, even though he looks miserable.""If he's a Catholic priest does that mean, ""Oh yes. Vow of celibacy.""That's the real reason he's miserable then!" Jenna replied."Indeed. Whilst I respect his vows, personally it's something I could never adhere to!""Nope. You like pussy too much, Rev.""Jenna, shush! You're making me blush!""I'm right though.""You know I can never get enough of your pussy," the vicar whispered in her ear. "I must go and mingle, before I get another hard-on."Jenna sensed the moment was right to get to know the mysterious Father Aiden a bit better. The priest was currently being bored to death by an elderly woman from St. Michael's who was lamenting the state of modern Britain.", And like I keep saying, this country went to the dogs long ago. Useless, lying politicians, rising crime, rising cost of living. Unbridled filth peddled on every street corner. I imagine, Father, coming from a big city like Liverpool, this small town must seem like paradise to you. Don't be fooled! County lines are a big problem! And the local park. Would you believe it? It's become a dogging hotspot, "Father Aiden said nothing and just nodded patiently at her. Sensing he needed rescuing, Jenna cut in."Sorry Mrs. Grimes, can I just interrupt and borrow Father Aiden for a minute? I need to discuss something.""Oh be my guest," the pensioner replied. "He's not got a lot to say.""Probably because he couldn't get a word in," Jenna muttered under her breath as Mrs. Grimes shuffled off. "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Jenna, Reverend Morris' wife. Nice to meet you, Father Aiden." She held out her hand, and he reluctantly shook it."Hello." The priest spoke at last, in a thick Irish accent, his dour expression unchanging."You look rather trapped. Too many people here for your liking?""A little." Father Aiden replied. He looked extremely uncomfortable in Jenna's presence. "I'm still, finding my feet around this area.""I'm sure you'll settle in just fine, Father. Have you tried any of the buffet? My husband's a great cook; he's made some great cakes and, ""Maybe later. I, I would appreciate a cup of tea if possible.""Oh no problem. Why don't you take a seat in the snug? You'll find it more relaxing in there. Less chatter.""Thanks." He skulked off. Jenna took a deep breath. "Blimey, what a cold fish. I'd get better conversation out of a statue. Still, early days. With a little bit of help, he's bound to open up sooner or later." Far from putting her off, Father Aiden's stern exterior only served to fascinate Jenna further. And the fact he was a celibate priest, .hmm. That couldn't possibly be good for him, could it?Moments later, she brought him a cup of tea. "Here you go," she said, putting it on the side table by his chair and taking a seat opposite him."Thanks, Mrs. Morris.""Jenna, please."He twitched. "Jenna.""I've never met a Catholic priest before," Jenna said, and Father Aiden straightened in the chair and braced himself for the usual questions he was always asked, usually concerning vows of celibacy. He swallowed as he noticed how close Jenna was to him.Damn. She looks so much like Róisín, but even prettier. I can't believe this."Well, we're not that rare," he mumbled, sipping his tea."I know very little about the Catholic church," Jenna continued. Nobody in my family is Catholic. Mostly Church of England, and a few Methodists, ""I'm sure your husband can help you with any questions you might have," Father Aiden said, and Jenna wondered if this was his polite way of saying "please leave me in peace."Pretending to be upset, Jenna stood up. "I, I'm sure you're right, Father. I'm sorry for bothering you." She hurried out of the snug.Alone at last, Father Aiden smacked his forehead. "Why does this keep happening to me? Why do I always end up saying the wrong thing?""Definitely a lot of issues with that one," Jenna smirked to herself. A couple of chips on both shoulders methinks. I'm not giving up on the good Father though. Maybe in time, he'll soften a little."Gordon had successfully relieved himself on the rose bushes in the vicarage's back garden. "Ah, that's better. I'm sure those plants needed a good watering," he muttered, zipping up his trousers. Hearing the back door opening, he spun round."Hi there," Jenna smiled. "It's a bit cold out here, Gordon. You'll be getting a chill in your organ pipe.""Umm. I was hoping you might be able to warm it up."Jenna glanced round and took him by the hand. "In that case, come with me, "In the garage, Gordon's face flushed red with lust as Jenna leaned against a car, hiked up her dress and slipped her hand inside her drenched black panties. Her aroused smell met his nose and made his stiff cock throb more than ever. Already his pre-cum was leaking out. The fact that she was now the vicar's wife, was turning him on even more."Oh God, Jenna. You always know what buttons to press," Gordon groaned, as she ran her hand down his crotch, cupping his bulge."Don't you mean which stops to pull out?" She teased, unzipping his trousers. "Your cock is like the Wurlitzer organ in Blackpool Tower. It's always rising.""Ha-ha. That's why it needs you to play it," he chuckled. Jenna ran her hand down the front of his y-fronts. "Ooh, I'm not the only one here who's got damp undies!"Gordon groaned again. Jenna pulled out his cock and squeezed his balls. As she groped his manhood, she realized just how wet with pre-cum it was."Nice and sticky, just how I like it." She knelt down and teasingly licked the head of his cock before putting it in her mouth."Umm yes!" Gordon hissed as the vicar's wife began giving him a good blow. He'd remembered just how brilliantly Jenna was at giving blowjobs. Back during that day in church, she'd given him some superb head.Jenna withdrew and reclined on the bonnet of the car. She rubbed her neatly-trimmed bush of pubic hair and Gordon knew what she wanted him to do. With just one finger at first, the organist began tracing circles around the outside of her wet pussy. Jenna moaned, enjoying the attention, but wanting more. Sensing this, Gordon spread her pussy lips with his finger and pushed inside her, spreading her walls and began to fuck her with it. Then he lowered his head. Very slowly at first, teasing her into a state of desperate pleasure, he tongued her, savoring her juices."Oh Gordon!" Jenna screamed. She began moving her body in time to his motions, trying to get his tongue to go even deeper. Then without warning, Gordon stopped his treatment, as he felt her hand brush against the head of his prick. "Slide your organ pipe in," she purred, knowing he got such a kick from these corny phrases."With pleasure!"Positioning the tip of his dick right up against her wet opening, he slid inside her and was soon thrusting with vigor."Umm, more Gordon! Yes!"He continued pumping her hard and fast, pulling almost all the way out and then slamming his dick all the way back in. He grabbed her hips to steady himself, still fucking her rapidly. Then their coupled bodies convulsed ferociously, and Gordon's pulsating member filled Jenna's snatch with his cum."Here endeth the organ lesson," Jenna said, planting a kiss on his lips.Gordon kissed her back. "Oh thanks Jenna. I enjoyed that immensely.""And you really needed that!" She replied, adjusting her clothing. "It's not good for an organist to have so much cum building up like that, there might be a risk of a ruptured bellows."Gordon zipped up his trousers. "Far worse than trapped wind!"They both laughed. "We'd better get back to the party. I'll go first, okay?"Jenna headed out of the garage. As she walked round the side of the house, she almost walked straight into Father Aiden."Oh!" He recoiled in shock. "Mrs, er, Jenna.""Father Aiden! You made me jump! Don't tell me you're looking for a downstairs toilet too?"He blinked. "Um no. I was, er, I wanted to apologies for earlier. I was very rude. Whatever must you think of me? You being the vicar's wife and all.""I'd say you're a chap who's just finding his way in a new place," Jenna smiled. Even in the dark, his watery blue eyes seemed to be staring right into her soul. "Anyways, apology accepted!" Before he could say another word, she planted a kiss on his cheek. "Would you like another cup of tea, Father?"Father Aiden clutched his chest as though he'd glimpsed Satan himself. A look of horror on his face."What's the matter?" Jenna said, glancing back at him. "My tea isn't that bad is it?"The Priest is caught masturbating"Holy Spirit, come into my heart and show me my sins. Give me a proper spirit of repentance and the grace to make a good confession. Give me your peace that I might not be anxious but rather trust in your abundant mercies."Father Aiden said a prayer to himself. He was anxiously sitting in his confessional, awaiting the arrival of any lost sheep who were in need of his guidance. Here of all places, he needed to be focused on his job as a priest, yet his mind was on other things. Last night, he'd attended a gathering at St. Michael's vicarage. He hadn't really wanted to go, as social events made him uncomfortable, but had gone along to show willing. It had been his first social since he'd left Liverpool.It had all been going well until he'd met the vicar's wife, Jenna. The woman had shocked him to the core. She reminded him so much of Róisín, a twentysomething woman whom he'd developed feelings for back in Liverpool. He'd come perilously close to breaking his celibacy vows with her, they'd kissed passionately a couple of times in the confessional booth, until Father Aiden's nerves and guilt finally got the better of him and he'd pushed her away. Feeling it best to move on before things developed into something more serious, he quit his post and requested to be moved elsewhere. He'd narrowly avoided a scandal.Father Aiden was thirty-five, and had been a priest for eight years now. He recalled his early years, growing up in a small village near Dublin. As rigidly as he'd stuck to his celibacy vows since joining the priesthood, Father Aiden was no virgin. As an eighteen year old, he'd been an altar boy at his local church, and lost his virginity to Sara, a much older married woman who was a member of the congregation. They'd enjoyed passionate romps in the confessional booths, in the vestry, just about everywhere. Sara had a very high sex drive and didn't get any from her dull husband. Then a nightmare situation. Sara had fallen pregnant. Aiden's world had been rocked.In their strict Catholic community, even the thought of getting an abortion was out of the question. Aiden had resigned himself to becoming a young dad, but then just as he was starting to like the idea, fate intervened and Sara suffered a miscarriage. He didn't think it would have affected him so badly, but it did, and he blamed himself. It had been a punishment from God. From that day on, Father Aiden made up his mind to become a priest, much to the delight of his parents.However, much as he tried to bury any sinful urges, Father Aiden struggled. After Róisín, he hoped he wouldn't be attracted to another woman, but now he'd seen Jenna Morris, and been immediately smitten."Dear God, help me not to be so weak in body and mind. I must cast out these sinful thoughts."He was interrupted by the sound of someone entering the confessional."Bless me Father, for I have sinned." A middle-aged man said. "It's been a week since my last confession."Father Aiden composed himself and did his duty as a priest.Jenna grinned as an Amazon delivery van pulled up outside the vicarage."Oh good. It's arrived. That was quick."Reverend Morris was coming down the stairs as she was eagerly opening a parcel."What do you think?" Jenna said, holding up a nun costume."Ooh sexy. That'll turn heads at the church hall's fancy dress party next month! How very naughty and sinful. Better hope that Father Aiden doesn't turn up to that, eh? Might prove a bit too much for him! Talking of which, would you mind calling at St. Gregory's and dropping off that book he wanted to borrow?""No problem," Jenna replied. She picked up the paperback. "The Seeker by S G Maclean. Oh, he's into historical fiction is he? Well good to know he has other interests."Reverend Morris started laughing. "Heh, I don't know how I coped when the curate made that joke to him at the social. I know Josh had had way too much to drink but, dear God, I could've died when he started going on about Catholic priests lusting after choirboys.""What? I must've missed that! It must've been when I was f, er, talking to Gordon.""Yes. Father Aiden didn't see the funny side at all. I don't think Josh will even remember what he said to him. Anyways, I had to apologies!"Jenna couldn't help but snigger. "By the way, who are you going to dress up as for the party?""Haven't decided yet. You once said I looked like Prince Edward, perhaps I should dress as up in Royal robes and get a crown? Anyways, I must get going. I've got a meeting with Bishop George. What a busy week. Christopher's coming round tomorrow.""It's be lovely to see him. If the weather's nice, we can have a day out somewhere. I know how much he loves dinosaurs, why don't we take him to the museum?""Sounds great! Okay, I'll be back around four. Take care my love. Do give Father Aiden my best wishes." The vicar embraced her and they shared a lingering kiss, before he reluctantly tore himself away.Alone in the house, Jenna turned to the nun costume. Just how would Father Aiden react? "That would be a risk worth taking," she said out loud.Father Aiden had retired to his study. Saturdays were always quiet, and he relished this calm period. Reclining in a chair, he closed his eyes,Slowly, he unbuttoned his cassock. Before long he'd unzipped his trousers too. He was alone in the privacy of his study. His dick was now standing fully at attention. With mental images of Jenna Morris filling his head, Father Aiden took it in his hand and stroked it. He started talking out loud, as though reading out an erotic story where Jenna was pleasuring him."She settles to her knees between my thighs, opens my cassock and reaches up to open my trousers."He stopped and moaned."My willing lamb Jenna starts by licking the tip, tasting my precum. It is like silk. She then takes the head into her mouth and sucks it, darting her tongue into the slit. By now, I am rock hard, but still silent. She then takes my entire shaft into her mouth and keeps it there, running her tongue along the bottom. My cock shivers in her mouth; my only reaction. For what she is about to receive, I know she is truly thankful."Father Aiden was furiously pumping his cock up and down. "I gently place my hand on her head, and utter another prayer. My eyes are closed. I am about to come. I can't explain how glorious a moment this is. My lamb is so skilled, and now her sins shall be absolved."He was panting as he felt his orgasm building.Jenna parked the car in the street opposite St. Gregory's. The church was a grand old building, double the size of St. Michael's. The plaque on the railings described the church in eloquent fashion: ", an edifice in the Early English style, consisting of a basidial chancel, nave, transepts, north porch, lady chapel, and an embattled western tower, added in 1894 and containing 8 bells.""Never been in this church before. Oh well, first time for everything." with her usual bold as brass demeanor, she entered the church. "Wow, this is pretty ornate," she remarked. The place appeared deserted. No churchwardens or other staff anywhere. There was no sign of the priest. Jenna walked around the church, nosey-parkering here and there. She waited for a while, wondering if someone might come out of the confessional, but evidently that was empty too. Then she heard a muffled voice coming from a door at the back of the church."She knows I am ready and expects me to moan or yell, but all I do is tense slightly, for there are still other members of the congregation in the church. Then she feels my load in her mouth. She swallows everything, letting the last bit rest on her tongue so she can savor it." Father Aiden continued muttering to himself, in between moans.Jenna put her ear to the door. It was Father Aiden's voice alright, and he sounded like he was talking to someone on the phone. Then a load groan made her take a step back.."What the hell is he doing in there?" She wondered. She was about to knock, but what he said next made her gasp."She continues to suck my cock, a soft and gentle motion, caressing me with her lips and tongue, the feeling of this is indescribable. When she removes her mouth, she kisses the tip of my cock, and I moan, oh dear God, yes, yes!"Jenna squinted and peered through the keyhole. Her eye widened as she witnessed the priest reclined in a chair, masturbating furiously. He had that same miserable expression on his face, but his pale complexion was tinged with a blush, and he was grunting, seconds later he climaxed, shooting his seed into his free hand."Oh wow!" Jenna couldn't believe what she was seeing. "No wonder he was so miserable. Just look how horny the poor man is!" She licked her lips. The priest had an attractive uncut cock and to say it was large was an understatement. Though tempted to walk in and suck it right there, Jenna decided against it. "No. Not yet. I must wait for the right moment. And then I'll finally put a smile on this face."As he recovered from his orgasm, Father Aiden finished with a prayer."God, I thank you for your abundant mercies. No sin of mine is beyond your power to forgive, and your forgiveness has restored my soul to friendship with you. Thank you for never ceasing to love me even when my actions show that I do not love you fully. Thank you for seeking me out as the shepherd seeks the lost sheep."A dull thud outside the door brought him to his senses. Quickly, he wiped the cum of his hand with a tissue and zipped up his trousers. Cautiously opening the door, he looked around. The church was deserted, but there was a vague scent of a familiar perfume in the air, where had he smelt that before? He glanced down. And saw the book. He bent down to pick it up."Holy Mother of God, "Jenna had been here!Beauty and the PriestFriday night presented a perfect opportunity. Jenna's heart was pounding as she made her way to the clergy house where Father Aiden resided. The nun costume was proving to be quite itchy and uncomfortable, seeing as she wasn't wearing anything underneath it. To be expected of cheap Chinese tat purchased on Amazon. Still, the costume would serve its purpose, she hoped.Father Aiden reclined in an armchair as he read a chapter of the book that had been left in the church. Normally, he would be immediately engrossed in the story, but his mind was elsewhere."Did she hear what I was saying? She must've heard something."The thought that the vicar's wife might have overheard what he'd been saying was mortifying. Suddenly, the doorbell rang, jolting him back to reality."Who could that be at this late hour?" The priest mused as he got up. Usually the odd lost sheep called round, mostly Eileen Hattersley, a lonely old widow always in desperate need of a chat and reassurance. Then there was Bernard, a troubled fifty-something man whom Father Aiden suspected was closeted.He opened the front door. What he saw was almost sufficient to make him faint."Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.""Uh, Jenna? What, the, what are you doing here?""Well Father, I would've thought my intentions were rather obvious. Please may I come in?"His stern expression remained the same. He took a deep breath as he ushered her inside. "I know why you've come," he said at last. "You left the book the other day, didn't you? You obviously heard me, in my study.""I did," Jenna replied. "And yes, I heard."His ice-cold calmness slipped a little. "Celibacy, is hard," he murmured, staring at the floor. "I can only apologies for the disgraceful things you heard."Jenna raised her hand and touched his cheek. "But you have nothing to apologies for, Father. "Hearing you saying your erotic thoughts out loud was a huge turn-on. And a relief as well. Nice to know that priests have lustful urges like the rest of us.""Oh dear God Jenna, that's just the problem. I'm having too many of these lustful urges. I'm a poor servant of God. I can't stick to my vows. I'm sinning whilst in church, what is God to do with me?"Jenna thought for a moment. "Your opinion of God is different from mine. I was always taught that because he sent Jesus, who died for us, we do not need to fear eternal punishment for sin. You seem such an unhappy man, Father. Why not be truly honest, as God knows your thoughts anyway. Tell me, what do you truly want?"The sight of her dressed as a nun and giggling in a coquettish manner was sufficient to send blood surging to his manhood. He didn't reply, just put his hands to her face and planted a soft kiss on her lips."Oh Father!" Jenna whispered.The priest recoiled at once. "I-I'm sorry. Please forgive me.""You are forgiven. Now please kiss me again."He gazed at Jenna, moving his head in closer to kiss her on the lips. She pressed up against his body, feeling his hands on the small of her back. He broke it off. Jenna used the opportunity to gently bite the side of his ear, running over his inner ear with her tongue. He stiffened as she moved across his ear, going down until she got to the lobe.Father Aiden moaned, his breath warm on her cheek. His open mouth pressing into it. He didn't respond further. Jenna dislodged herself from his ear, causing him to look up as he moved his head."Come," he said, taking her by the hand and leading her into the sitting room. Jenna liked the way he was taking control like this."Yes, Father."In the middle of the room, he stood facing her."Kneel."She did as he asked. Father Aiden unbuttoned his cassock, revealing a straining bulge in his black trousers."Please, heal me," he whispered.Jenna needed no further encouragement. Putting her hands together in a prayer, she smiled up at him. "For what I am about to receive, may the Lord make me truly thankful." Slowly, she unbuckled his belt and started on his trousers. Father Aiden's huge cock sprang free the moment she unzipped them, and Jenna was surprised that he was commando under there."Are all Catholic priests as well-endowed as you?" She commented as she lowered her mouth over the end of his erection.Father Aiden simply shrugged.Jenna sucked on the head, tasting him as she ran her tongue over the sensitive opening, while pumping the shaft with her hand. She took more and more of his hardness into her mouth until she felt him hit the back of her throat. She relaxed and pushed on until she had his entire holy tool in her mouth and she was nuzzling his pubic hair. He groaned as he grabbed the back of her head and thrust into her mouth. The priest could not believe his eyes as Jenna took him into her mouth. Never would he have dreamt that his dull evening would have ended like this. And yet here this beautiful young woman was sucking on his hardened member. He groaned with pleasure at the sensations of her warm mouth on him. He was afraid to move at first, so he stood still, giving her free reign.Jenna continued to suck and was amazed to see Father Aiden's erection become even thicker and harder under her ministrations. She had never seen anyone so well-endowed, putting even her husband to shame. Her hands pumped the bottom of his shaft up and down as she continued to suck.Without saying anything, Father Aiden beckoned Jenna to stand up. He led her to the armchair and raised the nun costume, above her waist. He let out a sigh as Jenna's unclothed pussy was revealed to him. He liked the fact she was unshaved down there, unlike so many of the women he'd seen in porn videos, waxed and plucked so much that their pubic areas reminded him of supermarket chickens. Father Aiden slid down and began to slowly lick, nibble and suck her clitoris."Oh my God Father, " Jenna exclaimed.Hearing her utter his title like that, emboldened him. He licked and fingered her some more, and could feel her impending climax building, her hips rose up, she arched her back and started to yell."Oh Father; oh, yes!Father Aiden worked his tongue up inside her womanhood, swirling it around. His upper lip brushed her clit and moments later she exploded, squirting on his tongue and face. With a single finger, Father Aiden took some of the juice and marked the sign of the cross on his forehead. Still, he said nothing! After she'd recovered, he stood up and gently helped Jenna to her feet. He looked deeply into her eyes, and brought her lips to his.They kissed passionately, Jenna tasting her own juices on the priest's tongue. Finally, Father Aiden withdrew, and removed his clothes. Jenna did the same, glad to be free of the itchy nun costume."Oh," she smiled, noticing his dark chest hair. She ran a finger through it. Father Aiden took her hands in his and pulled her down to the floor. He reclined on the sheepskin rug. The warmth and light from the wood burning stove played across her body as Jenna straddled the priest and slowly lowered herself onto his erect pole. His thick head slid into her, stretching her to the limit. She paused to get adjusted to the mass of flesh inside of her, then continued to push down, filling herself.Father Aiden groaned with pleasure as he felt himself enter Jenna's tight opening. She kept moving up and down his shaft, each time lowering herself further and further until he was completely buried inside of her. The feeling of his erection deep inside her tight wet opening was incredible. He reached up and caressed her breasts as Jenna rode up and down his throbbing rod.Pressure began to build in Father Aiden's groin as Jenna continued to slide up and down his erection, slick with her juices. Her hot tunnel gripped him like a vice and seeing this beautiful redhead riding him, eyes closed, mouth open gasping with pleasure as he kneaded her breasts was too much for him. He felt the pressure continue to build, then a tightening at the base of his balls until he felt like he was about to explode.The waves of pleasure built to a peak until the continuous pummeling pushed Jenna over the edge and her body convulsed as she climaxed a second time. As she writhed in pleasure above him, Father Aiden felt himself explode as he released his load deep into her womb. His cock seemed to spasm forever as he shot spurt after spurt of cum, filling her until he was completely drained. Jenna collapsed on top of him, also completely spent.When Jenna opened her eyes, Father Aiden was staring right back at her, and he was smiling. A truly lovely smile.To be continued.By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

A Visit From The BishopA series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Reverend Morris anxiously paced back and forth in the lounge. He was in turmoil; he'd just received a letter from Bishop George, who was planning to visit him. On top of that, he'd been agonizing all day how to finally tell Lucy that their marriage was over. The past few weeks had seen his safe and somewhat dull life turned upside down. Ever since that romp with Jenna Fox in the vestry. What seemed to be a wild, one-off had now morphed into a passionate relationship. Now the vicar was seriously falling in love with the much younger woman.And what about Christopher? His four-year old son had just started school. Now a way would have to be found to gently break the news that Mummy and Daddy would no longer be living together. How would he cope with that? Then there would be the gossips at church. Some of the older members of the congregation would tut and register their disapproval. A vicar of all people, a role model and pillar of the community, cheating on his wife with a woman twenty years his junior! Every week he preached about being a good Christian. Now he couldn't help but feel he was nothing but a hypocrite."Bishop George won't take kindly to this," he remarked. The man was known not to suffer fools gladly.Hearing Lucy's car pull up on the drive, Reverend Morris took a deep breath. It was confession time. He fiddled with his thumbs as the front door opened."Hello, um, oh you're back a bit later than normal? Um, where's Christopher?""I dropped him off at your mum's," Lucy replied. "Simon, we need to talk. I have to tell you something really important. It can't wait.""I, had a feeling you might say that. There's something I need to tell you too, you see I,”Lucy took his hand and beckoned him to sit next to her on the settee."Simon. I've not been honest with you for some time now. It's not fair, and you have every right to feel angry. I've treated you terribly these past few years, pushing you away, shutting you out. Then six months ago, it happened. This is hard for me to explain,”"Please tell me," Reverend Morris replied. "Is there, someone else?"Lucy sighed. "Yes. I, I'm so sorry, Simon."Suddenly, the reverend felt less guilty. That they'd both met other people made it more bearable. But there was still their son to think about."I see. Is he, someone from church?""Yes, but, it's she," Lucy replied.Reverend Morris blinked. "She? Oh,”"Debbie Adams, you know, she teaches at the Sunday school? That's why it's been so difficult. So yeah, it's 2022, but it's still hard to be gay, and a vicar's wife. Especially in a tight-knit community like St Michael's. Many nights, I have sat and prayed to God. I asked him for courage and forgiveness. For how I have sinned."He took her hand. "I'm happy you found the courage to be yourself. And to fall in love isn't a sin, Lucy.""You're a wonderful man, Simon. You're being so understanding about this. I've been dreading saying anything, but I needn't have worried."Reverend Morris awkwardly scratched the back of his head. "I would've supported you no matter what. Um, but I guess now's the right time to confess that I've been seeing someone else too."Lucy smiled. "Oh really?""Um, you know Jenna? She goes to church. Jenna Fox?""Blimey, Simon. Oh yes. I've seen her. She is really attractive, not my type, but a stunner. I can see why you fell for her."Reverend Morris' face was turning red. "I worry about the age gap though, I mean she's twenty and I've just turned forty, that's not a good look is it? Others will disapprove.""Simon, love is love. These others you speak of will just have to deal with it.""Bishop George won't approve. He's planning to visit me in the next few days.""I don't think he's the monster you make him out to be. He seems pretty liberal deep down. Didn't he once have a much younger wife?" Lucy asked."Yes, she was called Julia. She left him for a Catholic priest.""Ouch.""Who was older than him! The priest was defrocked of course and he and Julia emigrated to the Costa del Sol, where they now run a beachfront bar called Unholy Orders,”"About Christopher," Lucy began. "We should tell him together."Reverend Morris nodded.Another Sunday and another morning Eucharist at St Michael's. Josh the curate was at the door, welcoming the faithful. Yulia and a group of other young woman grinned at him as they went inside. Normally, Josh would've nodded and blushed, but not anymore. Today he shook their hands, smiled back and had a little chat with them. When he noticed Jenna approaching, the curate's smile widened some more."Hello Jenna!""Good morning!" Jenna said. "Nice day for it.""Nice day for what?" Josh replied, winking at her."Naughty boy. Nice day for a church service of course! Looks like you have some female admirers over there," she said, glancing at Yulia and her friends.There was a notable absence in the church - John Norris and his wife were nowhere to be seen. The gossip-mongering pensioners who sat in the front pew wasted no time in digesting this new information."Well I heard that he moved out for a few days. They had a blazing row at the Harvest Social.""Margaret saw Patricia on the bus. Talk about having the wind taken out of your sails. She was beside herself.""Best place for her. A poison-tongued harpy of the highest order! I feel sorry for John. He doesn't need that sort of upset. He's on beta-blockers. They've decided to have a few days in Wales, to try and patch things up.""If my husband had been writing the sort of stuff like Patricia put on the Internet, I'd have told him to sling his hook!"Tony had volunteered to read the first reading, which was from the Book of Revelation. He twitched and sniffed as he spoke, and got a little carried away as he went on."Then I saw coming from the mouth of the dragon, the mouth of the beast, and the mouth of the false prophet, three foul spirits like frogs. These spirits were devils, with power to work miracles. They were sent out to muster all the kings of the world for the great day of battle of God the sovereign Lord!""He'll have a stroke if he carries on like that," the old ladies whispered.Tony continued. "This is the day when I come like a thief! Happy the man who stays awake and keeps on his clothes, so that he will not have to go naked and ashamed for all to see!"Some small children sat at the front looked terrified."This is the Word of the Lord!"Tony sat down. The second reading was a much calmer passage from Romans. Jenna smiled when Reverend Morris took to the pulpit, ready to deliver his sermon."Today, I'd like to talk all about love, forgiveness and honesty," he began. "I'm sure you've all heard that old saying. If you love someone, let them go. Why not hold onto them if you love them?Isn't love supposed to be fighting for that person no matter what?Through the fights, the struggles, and the pain, shouldn't we keep trying to keep the relationship going? The true meaning of loving someone and letting them go starts with being selfless, not selfish. There is another old saying. Honesty is the best policy. Ladies and gentlemen, I am going to be honest with you all today. My wife Lucy and I are getting divorced.Several loud gasps arose from the congregation. Jenna glanced round, trying to remain composed. She shifted anxiously in the uncomfortable pew. Was the vicar going to mention her name?"That's right. I know this will come as a shock to you all. You see, both of us have fallen for different people. Now, whilst we may no longer have romantic love for each other, we still care about each other. As you know, Lucy and I have a young son, Christopher, and his welfare is of paramount importance. Our split has been completely amicable. Lucy has moved out of the vicarage and we have agreed a 50/50 shared custody,”Josh looked up at the vicar in sympathetic understanding, as did Gordon. Meanwhile, some of the old ladies looked to be on the verge of nervous breakdowns. Jenna's heart was pounding."I'm not asking for forgiveness," Reverend Morris continued. "I know what some of you must be thinking. What sort of vicar preaches about the sanctity of marriage, and seven deadly sins, the shame of sin, and lo, he has sinned himself. I won't think ill of any of you. I have spoken to God and believe he has forgiven Lucy and I."Suddenly, Tony stood up. "Good for ya, Vicar! You're a top bloke. You helped me get off the crack. So like, I'd forgive you anything, man." He started clapping. Jenna joined in, and moments later, the rest of the congregation broke out in applause.Sat at the organ, Gordon was clapping furiously. He noticed Jenna gazing adoringly at the vicar and gave a wry smile. "I wonder who his new woman could be?" He said to himself.Jenna made her way straight to the vicarage after the service ended, intending to prepare herself ready for Reverend Morris. She was hornier than usual, and had much to discuss with the vicar. He'd given her a key to let herself in with.Alone in the house, Jenna removed her conservative clothing and changed into a far racier outfit - a short black dress, with lacy red panties underneath. She was just touching up her makeup, when there was a knock on the door."Oh he's back already," she smiled. The vicarage was only five minutes from the church. "Guess he didn't bother to go to the church hall,”Jenna opened the door. "I'm feeling sinful, oh! Er, hello!"Instead of the vicar, a stern-looking man who was the spitting image of Frollo from Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame, was standing there."Good morning," the mystery man replied. The clerical collar, purple shirt and cross round his neck were obvious indicators that he was a church person, but Jenna had never seen him before."Um, can I help you, sir?""Is Reverend Simon Morris in?" the man replied."No, he's still at the church. He won't be long. Can I take a message?""I'd prefer to come in and wait. I'm Bishop George. The Reverend is expecting me."The bishop? Yikes, Jenna thought. He's the vicar's boss. I'd better behave myself. She glanced at him as he entered the lounge.At least, I must try to behave myself,Bishop George sat down on the couch. "You must be the babysitter?"Jenna was tempted to lie, but lying to a bishop felt like a great sin, so she declined. "No. I'm, a friend of the vicar."Bishop George nodded. "Ah yes. I didn't think you were a babysitter. Seeing as Lucy and Christopher have moved out. I admire your honesty, my dear."Jenna froze. Shit. Does he know everything? Did Reverend Morris have to confess everything to the bishop in private? Or had he been lurking somewhere in the church earlier and left before she did?"Would you like a cup of tea?""Tea please. Milk and one sugar," Bishop George replied."Right, coming up,” Jenna turned and bumped into the coffee table, knocking some books onto the floor."Clumsy me," she muttered, and bent down to pick them up, exposing her red lacy panties.Bishop George wasn't prepared for such a sight and let out a gasp.A few minutes later, Jenna returned with a cup of tea. "Here you are, um, Reverend? I'm sorry, I don't know how to address a bishop, I've never met a bishop before!""Just call me George." He replied, taking the cup. "Thanks so much. You must be Jenna, yes?""Yes.""I know about you," he continued. "I spoke to Reverend Morris by phone a few weeks ago, when the Queen died. There was a notable increase in his happiness, and I could tell he was really excited about something. He was eager to tell me that there'd been an increase in people attending St Michael's. Then he mentioned you. Several times. And then I realized,”Jenna sat directly opposite him in an armchair. Her legs were crossed. "What did you realize, George?"She uncrossed her legs.Bishop George felt his cheeks flush. She'd removed her panties in the kitchen!Jenna Pleases the BishopBishop George twitched as a brief tantalizing glimpse of something forbidden was revealed to him.But the panties, those glorious red lace panties! What had she done with them?"Well,” he began, a little hoarsely, "you've obviously had quite the effect on him.""It's like history repeating itself," he added."What do mean by that?""Oh, nothing." Bishop George muttered, sipping his tea. "You just reminded me of someone I once knew, that's all."Jenna thought carefully for a moment, trying to read the bishop. So far, his self-control was admirable. Had she finally met her match with this man of the church? Behind that stern exterior, she sensed there was a man in need of some attention. She didn't know how old Bishop George was, but at a guess he was in his sixties. He was the oldest man she had encountered so far.Still, as the old saying goes - many a fine tune played on an old fiddle!"What do you think of St Michael's, then? You must know all kinds of churches." Jenna continued, trying to think up idle conversation.He finished his tea. "Some churches are drawn to controversy in the same manner that flies are drawn to shite. I'm pleased to say that St Michael's has resisted that.""Right. I see. I'm surprised you haven't cut yourself with that tongue of yours, Bishop George!"He reclined slightly in the armchair. "I have drawn blood on several occasions. I speak my mind, Jenna. I can't stand these churches who abandon their core purpose in an attempt to woo those who have no interest in ever following the teachings of God. I'm talking about those "trendy vicars" who install helter-skelters, massive art installations and the like in ancient churches and cathedrals. A church is a place of worship, not bloody Alton Towers,”"Oh yes. You're right," Jenna said. "I'd better make sure I keep on your good side, then!"Bishop George gave a slight grin. "And tell me, how would you keep on my good side, Jenna?""I prefer to show rather than tell!" He straightened in his chair as she walked over to him. "You seem rather tense, Bishop. I think you need to relax!" Jenna chuckled and sat in his lap. Initially shocked, Bishop George soon slid his arms around her."There you are. Beginning to enjoy yourself?" She said, playfully running a finger around his clerical collar."It's been a long time since I enjoyed myself like this," he murmured, planting kisses along her neck and jawline. One of his hands slid round and inside her low-cut dress. Bishop George cupped a breast, gently squeezing it, pinching the nipple. Jenna moaned at his sensual fondling. A powerful desire deep within the bishop began to stir also. The ease at which this young woman had penetrated his unforgiving exterior, stunned him. He was pleasantly surprised at how painfully hard he quickly became, and his cock ached to be freed from his clothing. Jenna's lips met his and their kisses grew ever more hot and demanding. Her hand slid down and brushed his crotch. There was no hiding the bulge of his arousal."Oh Bishop!" Jenna cooed, rubbing it. He let out a moan. She unbuttoned the lower buttons of his shirt and started on his belt. Resigned to his fate, Bishop George happily reclined in the chair.And then Jenna got a surprise as she unzipped his trousers. "Oh my. What pretty panties." She never imagined the bishop would be wearing women's underwear.Bishop George froze, as his secret was revealed. "Damn." He'd forgotten he'd put those on. "It's a fetish," he prattled nervously. "I, I can't help it. It's a need I have.""Hey, nothing wrong with that, Bishop." Jenna replied. "I love wearing silk ones too. But right now, I'm more interested in what's inside your panties,”She pulled them down, wrapped her fingers around his cock and gently stroked it. For an older guy, the bishop certainly had a nice-looking cock. "Umm. How tempting!""It's been quite a while since it last saw any use.""What a shame. Let's change that, shall we?"Jenna moved down between Bishop George's legs as he sat up slightly with a cushion behind his back. She took his cock in her hands and while she looked into his dark brown eyes, she began licking and sucking the thick shaft. On her knees so she could get the entire length in her mouth, one hand holding his balls gently. Soon her head was bobbing on the bishop's cock, the shaft wet and glistening.Bishop George was in heaven; groaning in ecstasy as this red-haired beauty worked his member. It had been too long, and he relished every second of this sweet pleasure."Oh Bishop, I have to convince myself to stop licking and sucking it, and fight the impulse to have you cum in my mouth." Jenna said, as she stopped. "I want your cum in my cunt."Without further hesitation, Bishop George rose from the chair and led her over to the dining table. He didn't even bother to push the table mats aside as he heaved her up on the oak surface, lifting up her dress and pushing her backwards. His tongue ran long, hard strokes up her inner thighs. He shoved her clothing up more, exposing her mound to him. Jenna lifted a leg over his shoulder, giving him full access. He lapped her outer lips, tasting her tantalizing wetness. What a cunt! It was as divine as he imagined.She gasped and curled her fingers when he slipped a finger inside her folds. Whilst his bony fingers worked their magic, he sucked on the nub at the top of her sex. A low moan escaped Jenna's lips. Bishop George hurriedly cast off his jacket and pushed his trousers and panties down to his ankles. He grabbed her hips, his cock finding her waiting passage. Jenna wrapped her legs around his arse and pulled him into her.Bishop George filled her completely. His thrusts started soft and gentle, almost loving, but then his pace quickened. He kept an intense rhythm, hammering in and out of her, with the vigor of a much younger man. Jenna screamed as she climaxed, burying her face in his shoulder. Moments later he came, filling her with his pearly cum.Jenna sat up, feeling his jizz leak from her as he slowly pulled out. Her hand fell to his deflating member, cupping him."Well Bishop. I expect you to give a glowing report on St Michael's Church. And its vicar.""You have my word," Bishop George gasped, getting his breath back."Excellent. I have another little gift for you. Jenna slid off the table and hurried into the kitchen. She returned and handed him her pair of red lace panties."I think they'll look good on you, Bishop!"Five minutes later, the front door opened and Reverend Morris came in."Sorry I've been so long Jenna. I got roped into doing a charity raffle and, oh!" He froze as he noticed Bishop George sat there. "Um. George. How are you?"Bishop George beamed broadly and rose to his feet. "Great to see you again, Simon!" He shook hands. "Your charming partner Jenna here very kindly made me a cup of tea."Stunned by the bishop's change in demeanor, Reverend Morris didn't know what to say. "Oh? You, know about us?""Jenna filed me in, so to speak. I think you've handled things marvelously at St Michael's. I can see for myself how happy the two of you are together. I'm pleased that you and Lucy had an amicable split. Your face tells me you weren't expecting such a reaction?""Er, no, I wasn't!" Reverend Morris replied. "I, I'm glad you're alright with the situation.""Simon. We may be men of God, but we're still human!" Bishop George said, and gazed adoringly at Jenna. "And what could be nicer than the love of a fine lass, eh?" Jenna winked back at him."Well! It's time I was going. I have much to do, other vicarages to call at. A shame all churches aren't as well-attended as yours, eh Simon? Then the Church of England wouldn't be in such a mess. Keep up the good work! Lovely to meet you, Jenna. I'll be calling round again sometime! Cheerio!"Reverend Morris thought he was going to faint. "Wow. Praise indeed! I wasn't expecting that. I thought he was going to read me the riot act!""God works in mysterious ways," Jenna replied, sliding her arms round him.Bishop George got into his car, a very happy man. "I can't wait to try these panties on!" He smiled to himself.What's Ukrainian for ‘Big British Cock'?A full year had passed since Jenna Fox had started attending St Michael's church. During that time, she'd carried out God's work and in the true Christian spirit, brought much happiness to several male members of the church, thus helping them to become better Christians."It feels wonderful being a vicar's wife!" Jenna said as she helped Reverend Morris into his cassock and surplice ready for the Sunday service.""And you fill the role so well, my love." He replied, kissing her. "I couldn't have managed without you these past few weeks. Having to do a morning service at St John's for four weeks in a row, then here at St Michaels. And after this, some members of the Good luck Ministry Gospel Choir are visiting, to practice with Gordon.""God knows you're more than capable, Simon. And it was so wonderful when Lucy and Debbie asked you to conduct their marriage ceremony too. I'm so glad everything has turned out okay.""What a difference a year makes. A shame John and Patricia Norris stopped attending our church. I heard they were having a lot of marital problems. Perhaps they'll return to us one day?""Mmm, perhaps," Jenna replied, knowing that Patricia Norris' absence wasn't missed by anyone. "Still, Yulia's friend Martika has joined the congregation. I think Yulia is planning to live in the UK permanently. She's settled in well, and has taken a fancy to Josh I believe." Jenna ran her fingers down the front of her husband's cassock.Reverend Morris chuckled. "Oh lucky Josh. Well he's desperate for a girlfriend. He's really come out of himself these past few months. I remember the first day he became curate, he was so damned shy, he would blush every time a woman spoke to him!""He just needed his confidence building up," Jenna smirked. Suddenly, the sound of Gordon playing the organ was heard, indicating the start of the morning service."Guess it's time for me to do my duty," Reverend Morris said. "Jenna, you do realize that I have a raging erection?""Being a good Christian is such hard work! Try not to get too excited when you do your sermon," she added with a wink.As he hurried out of the vestry, Jenna followed him and then made her way to the pew where Yulia and her friend Martika were sitting."Morning!" She said to Yulia."Ah! Good morning Mrs. Morris!" Yulia replied."Hey, you can still call me Jenna. So, is this your friend who's just arrived from Kyiv?""Yes, this is Martika, she's twenty, her English isn't that good yet, but I speak for her. She'll learn quick, yes? I wanted her to start attending Sunday service at St Michaels because she really likes British hymns, and back in Kyiv, she played the pipe organ."Martika whispered something in Ukrainian to Yulia."Oh yes. She has a huge thing for older British men. You know a nice older man she can get to know?"Jenna gave her famous smirk. "I know the perfect man."After the service, Yulia flicked back her long blonde hair as the curate walked past."Go and speak to him," Jenna urged her. "Josh is a lovely man.""You really think he'd, like to go out with me?""Of course he would!"Gordon had been in a happy but thoughtful mood this morning. As he tidied up his music books, he hummed Jerusalem to himself. What now? He wondered. Now that Jenna had become the vicar's wife, he sensed that their erotic couplings would now be coming to an end. Unless she and the vicar planned to have some kind of open marriage. He wasn't complaining. The past few months had been some of the happiest times he'd had in years. He had no interest in getting married again. He didn't want it all. Thanks to Jenna, he'd been afforded a delicious morsel of fun, and had felt desired again.Presently, Jenna appeared at the side of the organ, bringing him to his senses."Hi there, gorgeous!" He blurted out. "Oops, beg your pardon. I mean, Mrs. Morris!"Jenna chuckled. "Hello there, Stud of the Organ. Thanks for playing Shine Jesus Shine for Tony. I know you loathe that hymn.""Hah, well it'll never be a favorite of mine, but if it's requested, I'm glad to play it. Tony seems to be really doing well these days. Hope he stays clean and on the straight and narrow.""So do I. I think he'll be fine. He's started a course at the adult learning college, along with Amir."Gordon nodded. "Good for them. Um, Jenna, I was wondering, could I talk to you about something?" He fiddled with his robe. "Now that you're the new Mrs. Reverend, .well I, er,"She moved to reassure him. "I know what you're thinking. You're wondering if our little "organ lessons" are no more?""Well, yes. I, understand completely of course, I mean you married Simon in this church and Bishop George did the service."Jenna smiled at the mention of the bishop. It had been so kind of him to do the service, and to lend her one of his favorite pairs of silk panties, in the old tradition of something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue,”Gordon, how would you feel if I told you that I have the perfect replacement lined up for you? She's really lovely."He thought for a moment. "Hmm, I'm not sure. I don't think any woman could thrill me in the same way you have, Jenna. Who did you have in mind?""I'm flattered, Gordon. Give her a chance, eh? Her name's Martika and she's Yulia's friend. Back in Ukraine, she used to play the pipe organ in her local church. It's her English skills that need a bit of help. And I know you've become quite fluent in Ukrainian,”Martika appeared. "Martika, this is Gordon," Jenna said, introducing her to the organist.The blonde beauty looked like she was about to faint. "Oh Mr. Gordon! I like a lot!""She really likes older men," Jenna added with a wink."Wow," Gordon murmured, before speaking to her in her native tongue. Martika giggled. She grinned devilishly and began to undo her top enough to uncover one of her breasts."Bloody hell!" Gordon gasped. Martika slapped her breast against his face and was pleased at how eager he was to suckle on her stiff nipple. Her hand reached down and firmly groped and massaged his cock and balls through his trousers. She forced a muffled groan out of the organist as she unzipped him."I must tend to my man of the cloth," Jenna said, leaving the two of them.Martika slid her thong down to her knees and slowly lowered herself onto Gordon's throbbing, aching cock."Mr. Gordon! Big cock like British Bulldog!" She smiled.Gordon replied to her in Ukrainian, something along the lines of "I will fuck you so hard, your screams will be heard back in Kyiv."Gordon buried his meat into this eager young filly, letting out a long moan as he let it pulse and twitch inside her. Slowly, Martika began to rise and fall back down on his manhood, stopping at every third or so bounce to grind herself on it, each round picking up speed and force. She began to grope and rub her tits as her momentum continued to increase, pounding down harder and faster onto Gordon's cock. What a heavenly view. Big luscious tits bouncing up and down while she rode his pole. They looked so amazing jiggling around, it was driving him crazy. His groaning, muffled whimpering filled her with satisfaction.Her bounces became faster and she landed down upon him with more intensity, leaning in on every downward gyration to get him to reach her favorite spot. She screamed out, not just for the immense physical pleasure but from the psychological high she was experiencing. The quaking of her body and passion of her final yell was enough to bring Gordon to his own explosive finish, emptying his load deep inside her,"Mr. Gordon, awesome!""Ahem," someone cleared their throat and Gordon looked to his right. Josh was standing there, along with several horrified-looking older black women."Gordon," Josh began, struggling to hold back laughter. "These ladies are from the Good luck Ministry Gospel Choir. When you've, finished what you're doing, they're ready to practice the pieces for the upcoming Jesus Christ Superstar tribute concert."To be continued.By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

Jenna enjoys sexuality without shame, in the church.A series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.< Jenna seduces the Vicar.St Michael's parish church was a charming place of worship that dated back to the 12th century. A quaint little church, the sort that one could see in countless towns and villages across England. Within its walls however, all was not well. Ill-feeling festered among some of the male members of the church, the vicar included. But God, in his great mercy and wisdom, saw fit to send a beautiful angel to this church, in order to bring happiness.And so, our story begins,Reverend Simon Morris was a vicar who hadn't gotten laid in a long time. Aged forty, he'd been at St Michael's for nearly three years now. He prided himself on the success he'd had in increasing the congregation of this little church. The previous vicar, Reverend Smith, had died very suddenly from a stroke back in 2019, leaving the community devastated. Reverend Morris knew he had big boots to fill. So far, God had been with him all the way. He'd steered the church through the Covid pandemic and defied orders to close it during the lockdowns. This action had earned him a lot of respect, not to mention he'd gained a few more loyal sheep who'd deserted other churches.There was just one area where God had been unable to help him - his sexless marriage. He'd been married to Lucy for nearly ten years now and they had a four year old son, Christopher. Unfortunately, it was shortly after Christopher's birth that the avenue of carnal pleasure was closed off to him. He'd tried everything to re-ignite the spark, but nothing worked. Now Christopher had started primary school, Reverend Morris had hoped that things would improve, but instead, he and Lucy drifted further apart. He kept up the appearance that everything was perfect, during the many social functions he had to hold at the vicarage. Inside however, his frustration threatened to overwhelm him."O Lord God, who hast called thy servants to ventures of which we cannot see the ending, by paths as yet untrodden, through perils unknown: Give us faith to go out with a good courage, not knowing whither we go, but only that thy hand is leading us, and thy love supporting us; to the glory of thy Name.Amen."Reverend Morris said a quick prayer to himself as he shook hands with the last of the members of the congregation. He let out a sigh of relief. Another Sunday service had passed - with an increase in numbers. He looked at his watch. He had a brief few minutes to head to the vestry, change out of his cassock and surplice, and pop over to the church hall for tea and biscuits. The usual chit chat with his faithful flock.The nosey old ladies, Josh, the new and nervous curate, Yulia the Ukrainian refugee and her two young children, Amir and Majid, the Iranian brothers who'd fled persecution in their homeland due to being Christians, Debbie the single mother and Sunday school teacher, Tony the reformed drug addict, Mr. and Mrs. Norris, the church's resident do-gooders; a pair of boomers who made it their business to know more about the C of E than the Archbishop of Canterbury,Then there was Jenna Fox. Twenty, red haired and absolutely stunning. And too young for him.He'd spotted her in the congregation earlier, but not on the way out. Which could only mean,"Good morning Reverend!" Jenna said, bold as brass, sauntering out of the toilets, where she'd obviously been waiting for the others to depart."Oh, good morning Jenna," Reverend Morris replied, staring at her and then quickly averting his eyes downwards. She was wearing attire that was barely suitable for church - a low cut black top and black pleated miniskirt."I wore black today. For the Queen. Loved your sermon reflecting on her long reign. It was really touching.""Thanks. Glad you liked it. It's been hard to write. So, are you heading over to the church hall? I'll be there shortly.""Mmm, maybe later," she grinned. "Did you know Reverend, that you actually resemble Prince Edward a bit?"Feeling a little uncomfortable at how close she was, he felt color rise in his cheeks. "Uh, well thanks. I'll take that as a compliment! Do excuse me Jenna, I just have to ditch these vestments, then I shall be going to the hall."He hurried off to the vestry. In there, he looked at himself in the mirror. He was an average-looking bloke, not the sort that a stunning younger woman would lust after."Well at least I'm much younger than Prince Edward." He smiled. Suddenly, the door opened."You're not getting away from me this time Reverend," Jenna whispered, shutting the door behind her.Before he could say anything, she'd cornered him. Glancing into his pale blue eyes for a moment, she covered his lips with hers, feeling him tense up as her arms reached round his back. After a few seconds, he relaxed, as if he knew resistance of any kind was futile. Jenna could feel the heat of his body through his cassock."I've wanted you for a long time Reverend," she murmured. "Ever since you taught me that Introduction to Christianity course six months ago.""J-Jenna, this isn't appropriate. I, I am a married man!""Not a very happy one, I suspect. I can always tell." A shuddering sigh escaped him as her lips brushed his again. Jenna broke the kiss. "Is there any space in here to conduct unholy activities, Reverend?"Powerless to resist this angel of sin, the smitten vicar grabbed her slim hips and motioned her to straddle his lap. "Jenna," he mumbled, rubbing one thumb over the outline of her hardened bra-less nipple through her thin top. "It's, er, been a long time since I was in a situation like this.""Your wife,”"Lucy and I have been leading separate, and sexless lives for years.""I'm sorry to hear that. So let me bring you some salvation."He leaned in to kiss the exposed skin of Jenna's neck; his lips leaving a hot trail from just below her ear to the center of her throat at the neck of her black top. Then he took the lower hem of the top and pushed it up to bare her belly, and then her pert C-cup breasts. Leaning her back, he took one nipple with his lips and she gasped. He was not only willing, but rampant; as Jenna had suspected, it had been a long time since this man had got laid.Even with the cassock and surplice on, there was no disguising the Reverend's raging erection. Jenna explored eagerly, desperately, reaching under the cassock, feeling his hard erection through his trousers.Lord Jesus, Jenna was trembling so much with excitement. She'd had a clergy fetish for years and fantasized about seducing the vicar for such a long time. Reverend Morris returned his attention to her breasts and she was so wet she could almost feel herself dripping into her panties.Without further ado, she unfastened his belt before reaching for his zipper. Reverend Morris attempted to remove his surplice."No, no, leave that on," Jenna said."As you wish." He mumbled holding up his cassock, almost unable to comprehend what was about to happen.Jenna knelt in front of the vicar, pulled down the zipper of his trousers, and exposed white boxer shorts - adorned with little Christian crosses."Oh wow. Where did you get those, Reverend?" Jenna grinned.He blushed. "Um, a church event I attended in London. The gift shop was quite varied,”"Umm." Jenna pulled down his trousers and boxers, freeing his heated cock."Ah. The staff of life."She took his hot length in her hand, feeling it, and stroked it up and down as she licked and sucked at the tip."Oh dear God," Reverend Morris groaned.As she groped his shaft, she realized just how wet with pre-cum it was."Ooh, Reverend you certainly have sinned," Jenna smiled. "Nice and wet - just how I like it." She teasingly licked the head of his cock before putting it in her mouth. She began to suck him off furiously, her head bobbing up and down faster and faster, her tongue licking the sensitive underside of his shaft."Oh, I am blessed!" He gasped.Jenna licked every inch of his love pole, running her tongue cross every vein, igniting every nerve ending. The vicar cried out in joy. Then she withdrew and looked up at him.In her throatiest, most sexy tone, she said, "Well Reverend, are you just going to stand there, or come and tame your lost sheep?"Like a bolt of lightning, Reverend Morris kissed Jenna's lips as if they were the sweet fruit of Eden, and lifted her up. He pulled her drenched lacy panties off. It had been too damn long since he'd had pleasure so willingly offered to him like this. He parted her legs quickly, and, with no further warning, plunged his holy rod deep into her waiting cunt. He began to establish a fast-paced rhythm which soon had them both moaning in pleasure."Ah hah!" Jenna gasped. "Oh, Reverend. Yes! Right there. Deeper. Deeper! God that feels amazing! Oh! Ah! Oh, Yes!"Jenna was in a state of complete euphoria. She had dreamt about what it would feel like to be fucked by a vicar, but never in her wildest dreams did she ever think it would be this incredible. He was a skillful lover, hitting the sensitive nerves within her tunnel, bringing her ever closer to that heavenly pinnacle.Reverend Morris began to quicken his thrusts and rammed his hard staff deeper into her yearning vagina. He felt his climax coming; it was an uncontrollable wave of ecstasy. Faster and faster he thrust, the sound of colliding skin echoing throughout the vestry. Jenna kept on riding the vicar until he blasted his cum into her like a fire hose."Ah! Praise the Lord!"Jenna looked at Reverend Morris, and for the first time in years, he looked truly satisfied."For what I hath received, I am truly thankful," he panted."Me too," Jenna replied, her insides filled with his thick cum.In the afterglow of their sinful fun, they kissed each other softly, caressing one another lovingly. Reverend Morris couldn't stop smiling. So that was what he'd been missing out on. Dear God! He doubted that Lucy could ever match Jenna's standards, even if she suddenly turned into a raving nympho."I suppose, we should head over to the church hall," Jenna said, idly fingering his clerical collar. "More tea Vicar?"Jenna Plays the Organist's OrganGordon Leesmith was not having a good day. Another Sunday, another morning Eucharist at St. Michael's, where he dutifully played the organ and directed the choir. It had all gone as planned, until the end of the service when that damned busybody John Norris had felt the need to vent his spleen."You played the wrong opening hymn, Gordon," John exclaimed, as the congregation departed. "Great is Thy Faithfulness was selected, not Love Divine.""That's not what the vicar told me," Gordon muttered, not looking at him. He loathed this odious pedant."Anyways I just thought I'd let you know. Patricia and I were a little confused.""No change there then," Gordon replied, unable to restrain himself. "Do you think maybe just for once you and wife might refrain from poking your noses into every bloody thing?"John was so taken aback, he couldn't speak for a moment. "Well really! There's no need for language, Gordon. I was merely saying,”"Don't come the innocent with me, you're the biggest shit-stirrer in this church. I've seen the gossip you spread on Facebook. And I'll play whatever bloody hymn I like, thank you very much.""I wouldn't argue in a church.""I'll argue anywhere as long as I'm in the right. Now bugger off!"Thus suitably chastised, the subdued John left, and Gordon was left to sort through his music sheets in peace. He adjusted his black robe and continued grumbling to himself. He wasn't always as grumpy and short-tempered as this. Years ago he'd been a jolly, fun-loving chap who enjoyed joking with other members of the church.That was before his divorce.Gordon was fifty-five, and had been organist and choirmaster at St Michael's for almost twenty years. Ten years ago, his wife Marjorie had run off with a man young enough to be her son. She was fifty and her lover was a twenty-five year old personal trainer. They'd met online. Gordon's world had been knocked for six. He never imagined Marjorie would cheat on him. They'd always been so happy, with a very active sex life.Jenna had been quietly observing the little outburst with much interest. After expressing an interest in joining the choir, Reverend Morris had warned her that the organist had the "shortest of short fuses." When she'd pressed him further, the vicar had revealed the details of Gordon's marital problems and sworn her to secrecy.Jenna licked her lips. She was aching for a romp with Reverend Morris right now, but he'd been asked to conduct a service at another local church this morning, and a female vicar had stood in for him. What was a horny lass to do?"Poor, miserable Gordon." Jenna mused. "I doubt he gets much action. He needs cheering up." Looking at him, she thought him quite good looking for an older man. He had a full head of silvery hair and unlike Reverend Morris, was of a stocky build. On the occasions she'd seen him minus his long black robe, he possessed quite a paunch. Jenna idly toyed with a strand of her hair, considering her next move. Gordon was giving off daddy kink vibes."I wonder if the organist will let me play with his organ?"Gordon was busy rifling through hymn books and didn't notice Jenna saunter over at first. She cleared her throat and he glanced round."Uh. Can I help you with something?""Oh hello," Jenna replied, acting rather coy. "I, hope I haven't caught you at a bad time, Mr,”"Gordon. Bad time? There's never a good time," he muttered, giving the usual gruff response. "Nothing personal.""Well I just wanted to thank you, Gordon. You played my favorite hymn, Love Divine. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed it."His attention captured, Gordon finally put down the books he was fiddling with and sat on the organ stool, facing her. "You did?""I love anything by Charles Wesley. His hymns are amazing.""Indeed they are. He wrote thousands during his lifetime."Gordon certainly was hard to read. Jenna wondered if she was having any effect on him at all. His dour expression didn't give anything away. It looked like this chap was going to be quite a challenge."Every week I come to church and I hear you play these lovely old hymns on this fine organ." Jenna continued. "I love hearing you play.""I've had enough practice. I've been doing this for many years now."Evidently, Gordon wasn't used to receiving any kind of compliments whatsoever.Jenna walked closer. "You're so talented.""Ah, well. That's, nice of you to say. What's your name?"Her persistence seemed to be paying off, and the organist appeared to be getting a little flustered at her flattery."Jenna.""Do you play any musical instruments, Jenna?" Gordon replied."Just the piano."He nodded. "Good, good. For work or just a hobby?""Oh purely as a hobby," she smiled, flicking her red hair. "I was wondering, please could you play a bit of Charles Wesley for me?"Gordon's stern face finally relaxed into a smile. "Why certainly. What would you like to hear?""Oh how about And Can It Be?"He shuffled around on the stool. "Very well. I often practice a bit after the morning service, when the others have left. I'm not one for idle chatter in the church hall.""Me neither," Jenna said, walking up to beside him, so close that her cleavage was at his eye level. Gordon couldn't help but give a side glance, and then quickly looked ahead."Right, are you ready?"The strains of the great Wesleyan hymn filled the church as Gordon's fingers graced the mighty organ. Jenna hummed along, and then an idea came into her head. Suddenly, Gordon stopped playing."I don't hear any singing, Jenna. How about you sing whilst I play?""Ok!" She grinned, and he resumed playing."And can it be, that I should gain - An int'rest in the Savior's blood?"Jenna deftly unfastened the first button on her white top."Died He for me, who caused His pain,For me, who Him to death pursued?"Gordon happened to glance to his right again, and almost played a wrong note. Jenna continued singing."Amazing love! How can it be, That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?"She unfastened another button. Gordon continued playing, and as the chorus approached, the third and final button of her top was swiftly unfastened."Amazing love! How can it be, That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?"Gordon's eyes almost popped out of his head and he cleared his throat."Go on, play a second verse!" Jenna said.He continued to play, but could feel his face burning. Jenna was singing her heart out, and seemed to be blissfully unaware that she'd suffered a wardrobe malfunction, she wasn't wearing a bra! Bloody hell, what a beautiful pair of tits, Gordon was uncomfortably hot all at once. He was no stranger to internet porn - after his divorce, porn was the only thing he could turn to in order to get a bit of relief, not that it really relieved him all that much, in fact it didn't turn him on at all anymore, he'd become impotent. Suddenly, with the young and beautiful Jenna inches away from him and, somewhat exposed, his dormant cock had surged back into life and was now straining against his underpants and trousers,"Just one more verse, Gordon! I'll give it my all."He continued playing and she resumed singing, her pale, pert breasts jiggling, inches from his face."Oh dear God," Gordon thought to himself. What a situation to find oneself in. "Should I say something to her?""My chains fell off, my heart was free, I rose, went forth, and followed Thee!"Jenna pretended to lose her balance. "Whoops!" She said, toppling over and putting her hand on Gordon's thigh. He jolted and played a note that was so off-key, Les Dawson would've been impressed."Oh Gordon that was such fun! I love that hymn so much!"An embarrassed Gordon quickly rose to his feet. "Um, I'm glad. Er, would you excuse me a minute, Jenna? I need to visit the gents."Jenna struggled to hold back a giggle as he hurried off to the toilets. "He must be rock hard by now," she smirked. "Probably having a wank. I'll give him a few minutes, then I'm going in there after him."Gordon had to relieve himself more frequently these days, due to that most troublesome of male organs - the prostate. Today however, it wasn't an enlarged prostate stopping him from peeing, but a raging boner. He couldn't remember the last time he'd got as hard as this. Unfastening his belt and trousers, he slipped a hand inside his underpants and pulled out his cock. He stroked himself and wondered what to do. That Jenna - was she actually flirting with him?That was ridiculous, she was young enough to be his daughter. What woman in her right mind would want to flirt with a fat old git like him?Still, how could she not have noticed her tits were hanging out like that? It seemed so deliberate. That stunning, red-haired vixen! He couldn't hide in the toilets forever. She might come in looking to see if he was alright. He zipped up his trousers, adjusted his robe and went back into the church,Jenna was sitting on the organ stool, legs crossed, but top wide open."There you are, Gordon. I was beginning to think you'd flushed yourself down the loo. You're not trying to avoid me are you?"Gordon blushed crimson. "W-what are you playing at? Someone might come in at any moment?"Jenna shrugged. "So what?" Whoever is sat at the organ can't be seen from the door. You have to walk right down the side aisle and come right up close. Nobody can see us. And you played the hymn so good. I just want to show my appreciation."He blinked, mesmerized. "Was I really that good?"Jenna walked over to the organist. "Better than that," she said. She looked up at Gordon with dreamy, lust filled eyes. He was about to say something, but Jenna shut him off, grabbing his neck and pulling his head down to her level. She kissed him hard on the lips. Gordon didn't resist or try to pull away. Spurred on by this, Jenna wrapped his arms round Gordon's sides and pressed her body against his. The organist struggled to stay upright for a second, but regained his balance. He lowered his head and feasted on her hardened nipples, until Jenna pushed him down onto the stool, his back to the organ."What's that passage in the Bible, something about the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak?" Jenna teased, running her hand across his robe-covered thighs."Uh, I just play the hymns," Gordon sighed, as her hand brushed his crotch. "You're leading me into temptation, that's all I can say. Look what you've done to me!""I haven't started yet," Jenna smiled, lifting up his black robe, revealing black trousers. His crotch bulge was enormous. "I'm going to have fun playing THIS organ," Jenna said. She felt bolder and more in control than she had ever before, more than when she'd seduced Reverend Morris last week. She unbuckled his belt and unzipped his trousers, revealing his underwear. Gordon was wearing white y-front underpants, and his cock was straining against the fabric; a large wet spot had appeared. Jenna caressed the bulge, then carefully pulled down his damp y-fronts, revealing his painfully engorged cock. It was average in length but girthy. She began kissing his shaft, which twitched and leaked precum.Gordon gripped the sides of the stool so tight, his fingernails turned white."Oh God,”"Gordon could you stand up for a sec? Your undies are in the way."Immediately, he did as she asked, and she pulled his underpants and trousers down to his ankles. Half an hour ago, such actions would've been unthinkable, he could barely think at all right now. All his anger and frustration and pent-up desire were released at once, when he felt Jenna's hands slip round his shaft."That's better." Jenna said. "What a magnificent organ you have!"Sweat ran down Gordon's brow as the temptress licked the head of his cock. The taste of precum was like nectar to her tongue. He was groaning louder now, as Jenna reached his most sensitive areas. She deep throated and sucked him hard and he yelled in pleasure. His balls were so full, he feared they'd explode."Oh Jenna, harder, more! Yes!" Gordon groaned, putting his hand on her head. She gripped his bare thighs and buried her face deeper between his legs, sucking him. His wiry grey pubes were tickling her nose. Gordon cried out in joy.Jenna withdrew, only to run her tongue around the underside of his cock."Oh fuck, I'm coming!" Gordon yelled. He lay back, forgetting the organ was behind him, and his elbows pressed against the lower keyboard. A horrific cacophony of wrong notes filled the church, but neither he or Jenna cared.Gordon reached his peak quickly and it was impossible to stop himself. He repeated Jenna's name, over and over again, as she licked his throbbing member. He let go, feeling that intense wave of pleasure spread up from his balls and across his whole body. A huge stream of cum spurted down Jenna's throat. She swallowed the seed greedily. Cum tasted so good, and Gordon's was especially thick, tangy and delicious. A second spurt landed right between her breasts, while a third and final load sprayed right across her face, leaving her coated in the gooey, sticky essence."Mmm, Gordon, that was the best!" She slowly licked around his cockhead, as some final drops of cum dripped out."What on earth is Gordon doing?" Mrs. Norris wondered as she hurried to the church. The din from the organ was so bad, it could be heard in the church hall. She pulled a face and adjusted her horn-rimmed glasses. "What a dreadful noise!" Marching down the aisle, she shouted Gordon's name, but there was no way he could hear due to the deafening din of the organ.Gordon sat up on the stool and the awful noise ceased."What a delightful mess you've made!" Jenna giggled, as his cum trickled down her face and breasts."I, I'll get you some tissues," he gasped, still in a blissful stupor."I really enjoyed playing your organ. Can I play it again sometime?"Gordon's heart jumped in his chest. There was going to be a next time? "Of course you can!""Gordon, what are you doing? Ah, Oh my God! What the hell is going on in here?”"Oh shit," Gordon exclaimed as he noticed Mrs. Norris standing there. The look on her face was priceless."What's your problem?" Jenna replied. "Have you never seen a woman playing an organ before?"Passion at the vicarage.After another boring day in her dead-end office job, Jenna was glad to be on her way home. Friday at last, thank God. And speaking of God, her smartphone had just vibrated. Rummaging in her bag, she pulled it out and smiled as she read the message.Hi Archangel JenGod's servant on Earth wondered if you'd like to spend some time with him tonight? Can't wait until Sunday. He has of you the great need and is all alone in the vicarage. L is away visiting sis until Monday. She's taken C along too.xxxR.M"Oh yes!" She said out loud. The vicarage would be more comfortable than another fuck in the vestry. Quickly, she composed a reply.Praise the Lord!Just got to go home and change into something holier, or not! will be there in half an hour. xxxJenna got into her car. A fun night of "worship" beckoned.St Michael's vicarage was set back from the main road by the church, down a long driveway flanked by beech trees. The trees were already on the turn, ready to show off their autumn color."Nice," Jenna mused as she admired the attractive garden. "This place is huge." It was way grander than the two bed semi where she'd grown up, and was still living at, with her parents. The cost of living crisis had meant that fleeing the nest had been put on hold. She knocked on the door. She hadn't been waiting for long, when Reverend Morris opened it, No cassock and surplice on tonight, just his "everyday vicar garb" as she termed it - black shirt, clerical collar and black trousers."Hello Jenna." he said, his voice a little shaky with nervous excitement. He took a deep breath. She looked absolutely stunning, in a figure-hugging black dress. "Wow, um, come in. You look lovely."Jenna flashed him a winning smile. "Why thank you, Reverend! Great place you have here. Your garden's really nice.""Ah, yes it is. Not my efforts, I'm afraid. I have many volunteers who keep it looking good. After all, it's only my house for as long as I'm vicar at St Michaels." He tried not to keep staring, but it was hard not to. "Have, you eaten?""Not really. Didn't have time. I grabbed a few biscuits on the way out.""Oh good! I was so hoping you'd say that. I thought I could cook us something. I really enjoy cooking."Jenna hadn't been expecting this. "Oh that's so nice of you." It was best to ravish the reverend on a full stomach."What sort of stuff do you like? You're not veggie or vegan are you?""Nope. I love my meat. I pretty much eat anything."Reverend Morris smiled. "Same here! Okay, how does fillet steak, chips, side salad and a glass of red wine sound?""Heavenly!""By the way, I was at the midweek hymn practice, and Gordon the organist seems to have undergone a personality transplant! I've never seen him so happy. Was he like that when you spoke to him about the choir last Sunday?"Jenna bit her lip. "Hmm, he was a little moody at first, but after I paid him a compliment, he sort of brightened up.""Blimey, whatever did you say to him? He's like a different bloke. He's bitten my head off a few times in the past.""Well," Jenna said innocently, "I thanked him for playing one of my favorite hymns, and said how much I admired his organ, er, his organ playing. I'm a big fan of Charles Wesley.""He did write some great hymns.""Umm, yes. Over 6000 hymns. And he somehow found the time to father eight children. How did he find the time?" Jenna added with a mischievous grin.Reverend Morris chuckled. "Perhaps writing hymns made him very horny!"They both laughed at this.The vicar rose from his chair. "I'd say that steak is just about ready," he said, hurrying into the kitchen. At that moment, Jenna felt her phone vibrate. Quickly, she slipped it out of her bag. Another message. Who was it this time?I have a message from Charles Wesley. He wonders if u would to see his hard, bulging hymn book. Hope 2 c u at church this Sunday.G [heart emoji]"Oh Gordon," Jenna giggled to herself, and switched the phone off. "It's hard work being such a good Christian and helping those in need."The meal was delicious, and to add to the mood, Reverend Morris had some relaxing Gregorian chant music playing in the background. Jenna had never been wined and dined like this before, and after they'd finished, felt it only right to thank the vicar for his kindness.In an instant, Jenna's lips were on his neck again, lingering, tasting him. His hands were in her hair and they were kissing, her sweet breath making him feel light, weightless even. If it was a dream, Reverend Morris never wanted it to end. This woman had awakened something in him that he couldn't quite describe. At this point, as Jenna took his hand and led him upstairs, he realized his marriage to Lucy was well and truly stone dead.The reverend's hands were at Jenna's side, unzipping then lifting the silky material of her dress slowly, over her navel, over her chest, over her head, off. Nothing could have prepared him for the sight of her breasts, round and perfect, the stuff of many a dream but beautiful beyond any imagining. His hands cupped them gently. His mouth left her lips, trailing down her neck to her chest. He took her nipple in his mouth and teased the erect tip. His hands roamed down over her arse, lavishing her smooth curves.Jenna was amazed at Reverend Morris' confident handling of her body. His sensual, hallowed hands moved over her, sending her heart racing, and she wasted no time in freeing him from his clothing.As Reverend Morris moved to lay over her, he could sense her need. It was almost as palpable as his own desire, and he was eager to satisfy them both. Jenna's hands guided his pulsating member, and at last he thrust boldly into her waiting cunt. The reverend gasped in spite of himself as his rod slid into this tight, warm pleasure hole. She held him so tightly and the sensations that coursed through his loins were beyond what he'd experienced back in the vestry a fortnight ago.Jenna's eyes rolled back as Reverend Morris' cock filled her with perfect execution. She bucked her hips up in time with his forceful thrusts, her hands gripped tightly around his shoulders. His grunts of pleasure were deep and resonant, arousing her even further. His hot shaft bore into her over and over again, gaining intensity with every thrust. Jenna began seeing flashes of light behind her eyes, and she knew that their moment was near.Moments later, they climaxed together; Jenna's cunt was filled to the brim with another load of holy spunk."God in Heaven! I think we have sinned, a lot!"To be continued.By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

Blimey, that was a bit of week wasn't it?! In this episode, Julie, Dominic & Anthony examine a blustering week full of some of the most controversial and divisive stories we've seen since we started Enough of the Falafel: Angry shoppers yelling at Animal Rising demonstrators, dead piglets being dropped on doorsteps, elephants being denied legal personhood, and Julie getting suspicious that Dale Vince is making a bold claim that isn't his to make! In total we look at nine stories from the vegan & animal rights space from the last week or so.****************Enough of the Falafel is a community of people who love keeping on top of the latest news in the world of veganism & animal rights. With the Vegan Week podcast, we aim to keep listeners (& ourselves) informed & up-to-date with the latest developments that affect vegans & non-human animals; giving insight, whilst staying balanced; remaining true to our vegan ethics, whilst constantly seeking to grow & develop.Each week we look through news stories from the past 7 days in the world of veganism & animal rights.If you spot any news stories that might catch our fancy, or have an idea for a discussion topic, get in touch via enoughofthefalafel@gmail.com.*******************This week's stories:https://www.9news.com.au/national/dead-piglets-dropped-on-premiers-office-doorstep-in-animal-cruelty-protest/1e30f38e-4e1b-44bf-974a-01b3566fe1eb https://www.theanimalreader.com/2025/01/16/stray-cats-sterilized-for-free-at-buddhist-temple-in-thailand/#:~:text=Nearly%20200%20stray%20cats%20were,%2DVaccinate%2DReturn)%20method https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c15znkk12xjohttps://plantbasednews.org/culture/media/chris-packham-meat-propaganda-campaign/ https://www.bude-today.co.uk/news/more-than-ps60000-raised-by-bude-group-757094 https://www.catalannews.com/culture/item/animals-in-a-landscape-or-replaced-with-figures-new-concepts-for-traditional-festivalshttps://www.thejc.com/news/world/court-outlaws-animal-rights-groups-nazi-ad-dkmuhpw8https://www.fwi.co.uk/news/animal-activists-and-shoppers-clash-in-supermarket-meat-aislehttps://www.soglos.com/news/business/stroud-business-opens-uks-first-fully-plant-based-workplace-canteen/24843/#:~:text=Ecotricity%20employees%20can%20tuck%20in,and%20avoids%20single%2Duse%20plastic.****************Thanks everyone for listening; give us a rating and drop us a message to say "hi"; it'll make our day!Julie, Dominic & Ant

There are certain times when you stop and ask, "Blimey, is it really him?" Yeah, it's him.

She's had the organist. Now she wants the Vicar.A Series in 17 parts, by Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Mia weakly raised her hand and switched off the shower."That was amazing, Gordy-pie. Organists really are good with their hands!""Not so bad yourself," he panted. "Wow. I enjoyed that immensely! You're quite a lass, Mia.""I'd like to see you play the organ," she said, stepping out of the shower and reaching for a towel."I need to get my breath back first!" He laughed, as Mia began playfully drying him off. "God, you're an eager little beaver aren't you?""Hee hee. Yes, but what I meant was, I'd like to see you play the church organ. I've not been inside a church for years. Jenna said that St Michael's is cool.""It's a nice church." I wonder what else she's told her? Gordon thought. "Why not come along to the Sunday service? You can see me in action there, so to speak. After the service, you can have a go on the organ if you'd like. Do you play any musical instruments?""Guitar and violin, but I've not practiced for ages.""Ah, so strings are your thing? That's good. It'd be nice to have a violinist in the choir. One of the choristers plays the trumpet. Which keeps him from singing and I'm glad of it as his voice is bloody awful."Mia sniggered. "You're funny, Gordy-pie. I really like you. Are all organists as fun as you?""Nay lass. I'm one of a kind. He pulled her close and kissed her neck and lips. He was an incredible kisser, and she was curious to know more about him."Are you married?""Long divorced," came his reply. "I'm married to the pipe organ, as they say." He wondered if Jenna had mentioned anything about their various liaisons over the past year, and was about to say something, when the bathroom door suddenly opened."Jen! Ever thought of knocking before entering?" Mia gasped, covering herself with a towel."I can't leave you alone for five minutes can I?" She turned to Gordon, who grinned sheepishly at her."Um, hello!""Funny place to have organ lessons, Gordon," Jenna said, as she watched him squirm."Gordy-pie was just showing me how good an organist is with his hands, weren't you?" Mia said, kissing him. "And you know what, he's amazing!""Oh I'm well aware of how good he is," Jenna replied, folding her arms.Sensing disapproval, Gordon attempted to explain. "It just happened. I didn't know your cousin was here," he prattled. "I put the plant pots in the yard, went into the kitchen and she was just there, wearing nothing but a towel!""You don't need to explain yourself, Gordy-pie. We've not done anything wrong," Mia said. "We're both single. Why are you so uptight, Jenna? Is it because we're in the vicarage? Is that like, a sin or something?"Jenna was in no position to claim the moral high ground. "No, no of course not. I was, just a bit surprised, that's all. It's fine. Just, try to be a bit more discreet, Mia. What if Simon had walked in?""Oh I'm sure the good reverend would approve," Gordon smiled, winking at her.The perceptive Mia noticed his gesture and wondered what he was hinting at."Jenna took a deep breath. "Okay, well I'm going to have a coffee. I'll leave you to get dressed. Do you want a drink, Gordon?""A tea would be lovely. I'm parched. Thanks!""I'll have tea as well, please." Mia added.Jenna left the bathroom."She's acting weird," Mia said. "There's something she's not telling me."Oh boy, wait until you find out, Gordon thought. Your mind will be blown."Maybe she's a bit envious!" Gordon said as he picked up his clothes, and wondered where his underpants had gone."Can I keep these, Gordy-pie?" Mia giggled, holding up his white briefs."Think they're too big for you!""I don't want to wear them. I want to keep them under my pillow and sniff them at night.""In that case, they're all yours! But I want your knickers in return!""Fair's fair!" She tossed him her pale pink cotton undies to him."Thanks!""I loved our shower time," Mia said, kissing him again. "And I loved your big cock. You're a sexy man, Gordy-pie.""Gordy-pie hopes Mia-pie can play with his organ again very soon!" the organist replied as they got dressed and headed downstairs.Jenna brought them both a cup of tea as they sat down in the lounge."Gordon, you're not going to put up with her calling you that cringey nickname are you?" she said, handing him the cup."I like it. It's cute," he said, as Mia rested her head on his shoulder."It's childish. If someone had called you that a year ago, you'd have bitten their head off. You used to have a terrible temper.""Ah well that was before I saw the light," he said, sipping his tea. "When you, showed me the way." He smiled at Jenna as she sat opposite them. "For that, you know I am forever grateful," he added."Did you become a born again Christian like Jenna, Gordy-pie?" Mia asked."I've always been a Christian," Gordon replied. "I just sin a lot, that's all. As we all do, right?" He raised an eyebrow at the vicar's wife. "But we keep praying for forgiveness every week, and luckily for us, God is the forgiving sort, eh?"The front door opened and Reverend Morris came in."Good lord, I need a large brandy!" He gasped, tossing the car keys on the table."What I have seen, can't be unseen, and what I've heard, can't be unheard!""Whatever's the matter Simon?" Jenna said, standing up."You were right, Jen. Gladys Wilcox and the churchwarden. They're, at it!""Told you so," Jenna said. "Actual sex? I'm not being ageist but can Gladys manage that at her age?""No. Regular vanilla sex would've been easier to deal with. Actually, I think gerbilling would be easier to deal with. But seeing Norman, naked in her backyard, wearing a pinny and being struck on his arse with a riding crop,”Jenna cleared her throat, trying to silence him, given that they had company." She treats him like a slave and he enjoys it!" The vicar continued, unaware there was an audience. "And there's more. She knows about the storeroom threesome, and you won't believe this, she proudly told me, that sometime during Lent, she performed oral sex on Gordon.""Ahem. Simon, shush, we've got," Jenna cringed. "Wait, what? She gave Gordon oral?"Mia's jaw dropped."Sucked him off whilst he was sat at the church organ! She'd wanted him to be her slave, but he declined. So she set her sights on Norman instead. Well we both know Gordon prefers a younger woman, right?" He turned round, and noticed Gordon sat on the settee, and Mia sat next to him."Oh, good afternoon Gordon!""I brought those plant pots you wanted," the organist meekly uttered.Later,Jenna and Reverend Morris sat on the settee watching an episode of Father Brown, although neither were really paying attention to it."I can't get that image out of my head. Gladys giving Gordon a blowjob and whipping Norman's bare buttocks. I know we've, engaged in some naughtiness, but I never imagined one of the oldest members of the church was into that sort of thing!""Good for her," Jenna replied. "Kinkiness aside, it's nice for her to have Norman as a lodger. I mean, she lives alone and in this day and age, older people can feel vulnerable. I know Gladys misses her hubby a lot.""Oh Bert. Yes. He was dead long before I came to St Michaels. Bishop George told me more about him. He was the organist before Gordon took over. Apparently he was quite a character.""I'm sure he was. And the current organist seems to be going the same way.""Jen, you seem a bit unhappy about Gordon having intercourse with your cousin today. Is that because you're protective of her or because of, well, I know how close you are to him?"Jenna sighed. "Oh Simon. I'm ashamed of myself. I actually felt jealous when I saw the two of them together. How selfish is that? After everything you did for me last year when it was my birthday, and you gladly accepted my dalliances with the other male members of the church. Can you forgive me? I wish to say a prayer of forgiveness."The vicar took his wife's hands in his. "Of course I can, my love. And I understand how you feel. You see, with Mia here, I think you've got something you've never had to deal with before.""What's that?""A rival!"Mia was eavesdropping from the staircase. A mischievous grin formed on her face as she listened."Holy shit, Jenna's had more men than Elton John's had wigs. She had the nerve to have a go at me for seducing Tom. And she's slept with Gordon too? No wonder she looked so tense. Ha! And sweet, Reverend Simon is okay with that? That's not what it teaches in the Bible, surely?"She slipped back to her bedroom."Let us pray together," Reverend Morris said."Father, I return to You with my sins before me. Nowadays, I lack compassion for my brother and sisters, my eyes are clouded with wrongdoings my heart is against. Opposing Your Words, I sinned and done evil in Your eyes. I drained myself off Your kindness and followed my worldly desires. Father, guide me as You are right in Your verdict and justified in Your judgment. Do not leave me astray as I pray for a blissful life with You and a life free of evil. In Your Mercy, I pray.Amen."-(Luke 15:18, Psalm 51:3-4)"I feel better," Jenna said, opening her eyes. She ran a finger down her husband's cheek. "Simon, let's go to bed. Mia's asleep. The guest bedroom is right at the other end of the landing. She won't hear us. Tonight I need my Vicar's touch,”"What a good idea! All this talk of Gladys Wilcox getting her hands on men's dicks, I'd quite like some hands on mine!"A Girl With FantasiesMia lay back on the bed in the darkness, her mind buzzing with the events of the day. Reaching under the pillow, she pulled out the pair of Gordon's briefs."Enjoyed you, Gordy-pie! You were a total sweetie."She sighed, pressing the crotch of the underwear against her nose and inhaling deeply, whilst fingering herself with her other hand. Gordon's undies bore a pleasant, musky, manly scent, a faint mark which she assumed was pre-cum, and a couple of wiry grey pubic hairs. Perfect. Knowing that the organist's thick cock had been snugly contained within was enough to make her climax again. She wondered if he was wanking off and sniffing her knickers."Hope he likes mine too." She wanted to see the organist again, as sex with him had been amazing, but Mia had her sights set on a bigger prize - and this one wore a clerical collar.InsomniaGordon was in bed, but having difficulty sleeping. His mind was a complete whirl. He reflected how in the past year, he'd gone from being completely sex-starved, to having more sex than he'd ever had during a whole fifteen years of marriage, and during his late teens, when he'd been a horny youth, desperate to sleep with any woman. In the Eighties, those halcyon pre-Internet days, just stumbling across a discarded porn magazine in the bushes was more valuable than gold. He remembered his time at university, when he used to spy on the nurses undressing at a nearby hospital.He chuckled as he remembered losing his virginity to his piano teacher - whilst she was giving him a tour of Blackpool Tower ballroom. He credited her with starting his interest in wanting to play organs,"Look at me now," he said out loud. "I got seduced by a woman young enough to be my daughter. Who is now the vicar's wife. I fucked a Ukrainian woman in the church. I've been fucking the vicar's wife every week in the church. I took part in a threesome with her and the vicar. I and several other men gave her a facial in the church. I got my dick sucked by an eighty-six year old pensioner too. Now I'm fucking the eighteen-year old cousin of the vicar's wife, and exchanging underwear with her."He reached for the pair of pink knickers and gave them a good sniff, stroking his cock at the same time. The crotch had dried, but earlier it had been wet and sticky with Mia's pussy juices. A heavenly scent."The world is a bloody mess right now, but I'd say my life is pretty good," he smiled. "I hope Mia wants to see me again. She's a lovely, horny little thing. I hope she comes to church this Sunday."He wanked himself off happily, before slipping into a blissful slumber. For the first time in a year, he dreamt of a woman other than Jenna.

Jenna's teenage cousin turns up at the vicarage.A Series in 17 parts, by Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. It was the second Sunday after Trinity. Over at St Michael's vicarage, the morning eucharist had finished and Reverend Morris and his wife Jenna were discussing the upcoming events in the church calendar."Josh gets ordained next month, so that'll be a fun occasion. Big party over at his place. He's so excited for that day to come. It's been remarkable how he's come out of his shell. When he joined our church as curate a year ago, he was so nervous and shy. Now look at him." Reverend Morris said."He's a real asset to the church," Jenna replied, sipping a coffee, as she read through the church newsletter. "I like to think that I, helped build up his confidence a bit.""Oh you certainly did, I'm sure," the vicar said, oblivious to what his wife was referring to. "Now, apart from that big event, there's not much happening in July. I'm adding the study of the Book of Exodus in the services. Last year's summer study of Genesis went down a treat,”The sound of the doorbell interrupted him."I wonder who that can be?" Reverend Morris said, hurrying out of the living room. "If it's Gordon, he's early. He said he would call round at 2."He opened the front door. A slim young woman around eighteen or nineteen, stood on the doorstep. Brunette hair that was in pigtails. Huge brown eyes like Bambi. She was dressed in a low cut pink peasant top, tight cow-print shorts and ballet shoes. By her side was a suitcase and hold-all."Hello. Can I help you?" Reverend Morris said."Um," the woman began, in a nervous voice. "Mr., um, Reverend Morris. Is, Jenna in? I'm Mia, her cousin.""Oh really? Gosh, well do come in, you're very welcome! You look loaded up there, let me give you a hand." He ushered her inside and carried her luggage."Jen! You've got a visitor!"Jenna looked up and her eyes widened. "Mia?""Hello CJ," Mia said, with a sheepish grin.Reverend Morris blinked."Cousin Jenna," Jenna replied."Ah," He understood."What are you doing here? Last I heard you were at Salford uni.""It's a long story," Mia sighed, as Reverend Morris gestured for her to sit on the settee. "Um, I quit.""Oh no," Jenna said. "What happened?""Oh Jen, it was awful. I just couldn't settle into university life at all. I made a mistake choosing that Art and Design course. It wasn't for me. The lectures stressed me out, but worst of all was the bullying." She dabbed at imaginary tears in her eyes with a tissue. "Nine months and I just couldn't cope with it any longer, so I jacked it in."Jenna was about to say something, but her husband cut in."You poor thing. God, if there's one thing I hate, it's bullying. Sad that it occurs in all walks of life. A nasty part of human nature."Noticing the reverend had been completely taken in by Mia's story, Jenna cleared her throat. "What did your parents say?"There was an awkward pause."You haven't told them, have you?""Are you serious Jen? Mum will go nuclear if she finds out. I'm just not ready to deal with that, yet. She was so proud when I got in that place. Dad will be more understanding but, look, I have a favor to ask. Can I stay with you for, a bit? I used up my last bit of cash on the train fare. I'm broke and I have nowhere to stay. I can't face going back to my parents. They'll treat me like a kid. Please? I won't be any bother. I'll do housework for you, I'll,”"Of course you can stay!" Reverend Morris smiled. "Our vicarage is always available to those who need it. We have a spare bedroom." He turned to Jenna. "We had Bishop George staying with us during Lent, remember? I'm sure your cousin can't be a worse lodger than him. She looks like she's gone through a tough few months."Powerless to refuse, Jenna reluctantly agreed. Oh Simon, you sweet, naive man. You have no idea what you're letting yourself in for! She thought."Oh you mean it? I can stay? Oh; thank you so much, Reverend!""Simon. You can call me Simon!" Reverend Morris replied. "It's nice to finally get to meet you, Mia. I know you and Jenna drifted apart a bit when your parents moved, but it's so nice when relatives reunite, isn't it?" the reverend said as he went to pick up the luggage."If only everyone could be as nice as you and Jenna!" Mia gushed.Jenna pulled a face at her cousin and whispered to her. "You are so dead, cousin!""Right, well, I'll introduce you to your new room!” Simon said as he returned holding all the bags. “This way! I'll carry your stuff for you." Reverend Morris carried up the suitcase and hold-all."Your hubby is a total gent," Mia whispered to Jenna."Oh, you might be able to fool him, but you're not fooling me," Jenna replied. "As soon as he's gone out later, you are going to tell me everything."Reverend Morris led Mia upstairs and down the long landing. Mia walked right by his side looking something between an infatuated schoolgirl gazing at her crush and a timid little lamb sticking close to the shepherd. At eighteen, Mia was very aware of the effect she had on men. Her Bambi eyes, teamed with the brunette hair, gave her an innocent look that convinced boys and men alike that she couldn't possibly know what effect she was having on them. But she knew quite well, and she loved the things she could get by putting her skills to good use."Here we are," Reverend Morris said, opening the bedroom door at the end. "It's not massive, but it's got a pleasant view overlooking the garden."Mia walked in. The room was nicely decorated. Instead of the usual neutral color scheme of magnolia, the walls were painted in very pale blue, with white ceiling and a sandy colored carpet. Instead of curtains, a white window blind, as was the current trend. A single bed, chest of drawers and ladder desk and chair made up the furniture."I don't know why I painted this room blue, it always looks so cold, and it doesn't really match the carpet. No wardrobe, but there's a full chest of drawers and the bed is a divan, with two storage compartments you can put your bits and bobs in. There's a hook on the back of the door if you need to hang some clothes up.""Oh I love it!" Mia said, smiling at him. "It's like being at the beach. The floor is sand and the walls are the sea. It's so restful and appealing. Really brings out my creative side. I think I could do lots of painting and drawing in here.""I'm glad you like it. Jenna and I want you to feel comfortable and safe here. Charity is so important to Christians like us.""Oh yes, I understand Rev, um, Simon. And I am so grateful. Um, do I have to start going to church? I mean I was raised in a Christian home but I sort of drifted,” Mia said, giving him a coquettish look.""Ha, no worries! We're not going to force you to attend a Sunday service or anything so relax. Whether you're a believer or not, everyone is catered for in our vicarage. We don't judge.""Jenna told me that your church is a nice one," Mia said, gazing at the reverend. He's rather average in looks but this guy is a total sweetie I can tell. Not an ounce of malice in him. Jenna's really landed on her feet with this one."She's right! St Michael's is a lovely place of worship. I'm very honored to be its vicar. Of course it wasn't always like that, but I like to think that I've really turned things round and made a difference. I credit Jenna for helping me in, many ways," he continued, and Mia noted the pause.Wonder what he means by that? She thought.He continued. "I took over in 2019 after the sudden death of the previous vicar, Reverend Smith. Talk about being thrown in at the deep end. Only a few months later, the pandemic happened. What a stressful time that was."Mia nodded patiently."Sorry, I'm prattling on! I'll leave you to get sorted out. I talk too much. Always in sermon mode,”"That's alright, Simon. I'm sure your sermons are really interesting." Mia said, flattering him some more."Ah well, haven't heard too many snores in the aisles of late.""I really appreciate you helping me like this," Mia said, sitting on the bed. "I just don't know how I was going to cope. And I want to pay my way. I suppose I'll have to apply for Universal Credit. What with the cost of living crisis and everything. Not sure if there are any jobs going in this town? I don't know this area at all and I can't drive,”"One step at a time, Mia. let's get you settled in first.""I really do want to work. Is there anything I could do at your church?"Reverend Morris scratched the back of his head and sat down next to her."Well, it's mostly volunteer work there, which is no good when you need an income, oh wait a minute, Norman the churchwarden mentioned that the church hall needs a cleaner, 10 hours a week. It's only a five minute walk from here. We had one of the Sunday school teacher's lads doing it, but I confess he rarely turned up and was about as much use as a chocolate fireguard. I was disappointed in Jordan, as the pay was pretty good for an entry-level job.""I'll do that job! I'd love to do that!" Mia said. "Oh please say yes!""Hmm, well let me talk it over with Jenna first, and Norman. Cleaning is a bit boring. You'd be required to put out chairs and tables too. They're only lightweight folding ones, so no dangerous lifting of heavy stuff or anything. But Norman will be able to tell you more about what's involved. We have a lot of functions held in the hall, not just church stuff. Monday is badminton class. Tuesday it's the over-60s hot yoga. Wednesday is the midweek eucharist, so it's tea and coffee morning. Thursday and Friday you get two days off as nothing happens then. Saturday is the local amateur dramatics group. Oh and Sunday, the most important day of all, is the main service at church, and a social gathering afterwards.""Oh I just love cleaning up," Mia said. "Tidiness is good for mental health you know. It keeps your mind occupied." She slid a bit closer to him."You're really enthusiastic aren't you?" Well If your heart's set on it, I'm sure I can pull a few strings and get you in. Don't want you to feel like your talents are being wasted in what I consider to be just a casual job though.""To be honest, I never had any idea what I wanted to do when I left school," Mia continued. "I never wanted to go to uni. I feel like such a failure for quitting.""Don't put yourself down," he said, reassuring her. "Sometimes God has a different path for us. And you can't stay somewhere that's making you unhappy. It takes guts to break away from a path that someone else has set for you. I can tell you have a great attitude. Your talents obviously lie elsewhere. In time, I'm sure you'll find something you truly excel at.""I do hope so," Mia said, pouting at him. She leaned in closer, but the moment was broken by the sound of the landline phone ringing downstairs."Oh that reminds me, I need to call on one of the flock." He stood up. "I'll leave you to unpack Mia. If you need anything, I'm sure Jenna can assist you. I have to go out. I'll see you later. Take care!"He hurried out of the bedroom."I think I'm gonna love it here," Mia giggled to herself. "I think I need to, repair my relationship with God." She gave the most mischievous of grins as she flopped back in bed."But I also plan on sinning, a lot!"Reverend Morris rushed down the stairs."That was the garage on the phone," Jenna said, putting down the receiver. "My car's passed its MOT and ready to be collected.""Great. I'll drop you off there as I just remembered I promised Gladys Wilcox I'd take her a copy of that paperback I recommended at last week's service. Hills of the North by Jenny Talwartz." He rummaged around on the coffee table and held up the book in question. "A thrilling tale set in rural England, about passion, blackmail and a woman's fulfilling journey to find romance and regain her faith.""Sounds a good one.""It got rave reviews on Amazon. I was worried it might be a bit too racy for some of the older members of the congregation. I haven't had chance to read it yet but apparently it contains violence and several sex scenes.""Right up Gladys Wilcox's alley I'd say," Jenna replied, grinning. "I keep telling you, there's something kinky going on between her and the churchwarden. Okay, give me five minutes, and I'll be ready. Need to have a quick word with our non-paying guest.""You're alright with her staying, aren't you? Sorry, I tend to just dive in and say yes to everything. Your cousin seems like such a lovely person.""I don't mind, but she's not the innocent little thing you think she is," Jenna said. "Oh she's not a criminal or anything, but she can be a bit, indiscreet at times.""Aren't we all a bit like that at eighteen? Not much life experience to fall back on.""Hmm, I suppose. I will phone Aunt Kathleen later and let her know that Mia's staying here. I'd better prepare to gently break the bad news that her daughter won't be getting those letters after her name."Mia was admiring herself in the wall mirror when Jenna came in, and closed the bedroom door."Alright you. Now how about giving me the whole truth about why you quit uni? You're good, but your acting skills need work. Better make it quick as Simon's waiting to give me a lift to the garage, so spill."The brunette took a deep breath. "Alright. Look, don't give me too much grief. I did something wrong and that's why I had to quit.""What happened?""I seduced my lecturer and slept with him."She gasped. "You did what?" After the initial shock, Jenna couldn't help but admire her cousin's brazen attitude. Seeing as she herself had seduced several men from the church, plus a former Catholic priest, and most recently, the town mayor. Not to mention there were her weekly "organ lessons" with Gordon,"So he was old enough to be my dad. Maybe grandad. He was like, late fifties or something. But he was so hot. Older men really turn me on. You must know how that feels. I mean, your husband is way older than you, right?""Yeah. I'm twenty-one and he's forty." Jenna admitted. "Eighteen and late fifties is one hell of an age gap though.""I know. Oh but Jen. Tom was such a sexy man. Just the type I like. He was a smoker, but not a heavy one. Kind of used to turn me on, smelling smoke on his breath. It added to the attraction, as weird as that sounds. The sex was amazing. Older men are just sexier,”Jenna gave a dreamy sigh. "Yep they are. Can't disagree with you there. Realizing she suddenly had a lot more in common with her cousin, she sat down next to her. "Tell me more about Tom."And so Mia gave her chapter and verse on her spicy adventures at Salford.

 Easter at St. Michael's: Part 2Gordon is reunited with an old crush.Based on a post by Blacksheep, in 2 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories. The monthly Mother's Union meeting was taking place at Gladys Wilcox's bungalow. There was much to discuss, mainly tomorrow's Easter Sunday service. However the main topic of conversation was the vicar's phallus."He was just standing there, starkers! Swinging, I tell you, swinging. It was like a boa constrictor poking out of a tree. I didn't know where to look!" Mrs. Harris exclaimed."Wish I could've been there," Mrs. Wilcox replied."Really, Gladys!""Well at our age there's not much opportunity for those sorts of thrills is there?" She grinned and glanced at Norman the churchwarden, who said nothing and awkwardly sipped his coffee. Being the only man there, he felt uncomfortable sitting through this, but Mrs. Wilcox had insisted he attend."How come he was naked?" Another woman asked."Said he'd been having a shower, but I know a lie when I see one. If you ask me, him and his wife had been; you know;""Having a quickie?" Mrs. Wilcox replied. Norman almost choked on his coffee, remembering that 21st birthday surprise the vicar had arranged for Jenna in the church, sixteen months ago."Yes, exactly!""You know something, Maureen, I was chatting to Maud Finch, on the bus the other day. Now she lives on Haddock Street, in one of those council houses that overlook the railway line. She tells me that groups of drunk young men are forever going up on that opposite embankment and mooning at passing trains.""Has she made a complaint?""Why on earth would she want to do that?" Mrs. Wilcox spluttered. "I said to her, I'll call round later this week and I'll bring a pair of binoculars!"Over on the other side of town, at 64 Stovepipe Avenue, Gordon Leesmith yawned and sat up in bed. He squinted at the alarm clock. It was ten thirty."Oh Gord, you lazy bugger," he said to himself, stretching his arms. He hadn't intended on having such a long lie-in. Myah had gone to work hours ago. She'd been working Saturdays the past few weeks, covering for Kate, a work colleague who was recovering from major abdominal surgery.Gordon staggered out of bed and scratched his belly as he peered out of the window. The weather seemed reasonable today. The past week had seen some very unsettled conditions, with sunny spells and frequent heavy showers, so typical of British springtime."I'd better get a move on. I promised Myah I'd cook tonight and there's not a bite of food in the house." Gordon didn't relish the prospect of going to the supermarket during the Easter weekend. Every shop was crammed. Besides, he wanted to head to the church and spend an hour practicing on the organ ready for tomorrow's special service. He'd have the church all to himself for once. He relished this temporary period of calm. Easter was always busy for the organist. As well as his full-time job repairing organs, he'd had to play the Wednesday Eucharist, the Maundy Thursday service, yesterday's Good Friday evening service and on Sunday, it was the big one. At least he could rest his fingers on Monday's bank holiday."Can't wait to jet off next month," he muttered, as he hurriedly dressed himself and brewed a cup of tea. He'd booked a week's holiday in Tenerife for himself and Myah. Their first holiday together and they were really looking forward to it. Gordon wasn't one for culture, eco-tourism or trailing round ancient ruins. Sun, sea and all-inclusive hotels were his idea of paradise. Myah had never been to the Canary Islands. He hoped she wouldn't be too bored just lounging on the beach or by the pool all day. He'd booked an adults-only hotel, the four star Golden Vista in Playa de las Americas. It had excellent reviews on TripAdvisor.Meanwhile, at the vicarage;Reverend Morris was in turmoil. "Maureen Harris has got a right mouth on her. Who needs social media when you've got a pensioner who's Britain's answer to Hedda Hopper?""Simon, you're worrying unnecessarily," Jenna said. "You've not done anything wrong. You were in your own home and you didn't know she was there.""Oh, I don't know. I'm the parish vicar and I just accidentally exposed myself in front of an elderly member of my congregation. Can't say I'm too thrilled about that.""Maureen shouldn't have walked in. She was in the wrong. Said she knocked, but when nobody answered, she should've given up and gone.""And I should've locked the front door! I bet she's told everyone at the Mother's Union that she saw me nude!"Jenna shrugged. "So, she saw your cock. I bet many other ladies wish they could've been so lucky!"Gordon parked up on the Tesco Express car park. As expected, the place was heaving with people rushing to get last-minute groceries. Tubs of cut-price garden fence paint were piled up outside the store. As he was looking at these, he heard someone call his name."Gordon? Gordon Leesmith. Is it you?"He spun round in surprise. A tall, slim woman, late sixties at a guess, and with silvery hair cut into a sleek bob, was stood next to him. She was dressed in a long, pale grey coat with fur-lined collar. Underneath, a skirt or dress of some sort, black tights and ankle boots."Uh, hello? Yes, I'm Gordon Leesmith. Who are you?"The woman chuckled. "Oh dear. I really have changed haven't I? You don't remember me, do you?"Gordon blinked as he studied her face carefully, then he let out a gasp."Harriet; Harriet Fairfax?""Guilty!"Gordon was too stunned to speak at first, but he quickly composed himself. After so many years, here was the woman he'd lost his virginity to, way back one summer night in 1985, when he was just eighteen. His former piano teacher!"Oh God! I can't believe it! I; I, it's so wonderful to see you again! I always wondered what happened to you, Harriet. The last time we met was in 1988, when I'd just got my ARCO diploma. After that, you; well, vanished.""That's a long story. Come, let's go and have a coffee. We've both got a lot to catch up on. I'm only here until Tuesday, then I'm flying back home.""You live abroad?""I emigrated to Australia when I got married.""Blimey. I think I need more than a coffee. I know a good place." He took her arm in his and they headed across the road."You certainly have grown in confidence," Harriet smiled. "I always knew you would."At a small pub in the town center, Gordon sipped an overpriced beer and listened intently as Harriet filled him in on her life story. He felt a lump in his throat as she told him of her marriage to Graham, an Australian musician she'd met shortly after Gordon's fateful night in Blackpool Tower."I suppose my head was well and truly turned. I was blinded by love. You have to remember back then in the Eighties, a single woman, mid-thirties and childless, well I was seen as being left on the shelf. Graham seemed the perfect man; and as I was never close to my parents, I figured here was my one chance to have a new start. New country, new job. So we settled in Perth. I started work as a music teacher. Loved it. Work was bliss. Unfortunately, marriage to Graham was anything but.""Was he unfaithful?" Gordon asked."No. I would've preferred it if he was. He was abusive. It's because of him that I have partial hearing in my right ear. The beatings got so bad; he beat me black and blue. Even when I was pregnant."Tears pricked Gordon's eyes. "Bastard. Oh God, Harriet. I'm so sorry. Tell me you managed to leave him?""Didn't need to. He took it upon himself to commit suicide one evening. I came back from work and found him swinging in the garage. August 11th, 1997. What a day to remember, eh? He'd always been a heavy drinker. I found out he'd run up massive debts, got himself fired.""Dear God. How did you cope?""Well friends and neighbors rallied round. I'm lucky. I'm one of those people who makes friends easily. I had a good support network. Besides, I had to stay strong, for the sake of my boys, Daniel and Ryan; only got Ryan now."She paused and Gordon wondered whether he should press her further."Daniel; died. He was twelve. A total sweetheart. You see, he was born with Down's Syndrome. Graham never coped with it. He was the loveliest, most gentle boy. Everyone who met him just adored his sunny nature. He loved animals and music. But Graham ignored him. Ryan came along three years later. He's able-bodied. Actually that's why I'm over here. I've been visiting Ryan. He's thirty now. Works as a concert pianist. I'm so proud of him. He's fiercely independent. Doesn't need me fussing over him, but we're still close. This is the last time I'll be flying here. I can't handle these long haul flights any more, now that I'm almost seventy-four. Never did like flying. He'll be the one flying over to see me next time.""You look amazing," Gordon quickly blurted out, wiping his eyes."Heh, thanks.""I'm so sorry you've had to endure all that, Harriet," Gordon sniffed, placing his hand on hers."Thanks for being a good listener. Hey and I'm a survivor. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?""So; you didn't re-marry?""Nah. After Graham died, I focused on being a mum. I got used to being single. Although ten years ago, I met Ray. He's widowed like me and a few years older. He's a total gentleman, bless him. I can't say he excites me sexually. I hope this doesn't sound too mean; he's a bit boring, but at my age, I'm past all that. It's just nice to have someone who's dependable and kind."Gordon nodded. Looking at Harriet, he thought she still looked very attractive. She'd aged well, despite the heartache she'd gone through. A surge of excitement rushed through him."Anyways Gordon, I've prattled on about myself for too long! Tell me what you've been up to all these years!"Without wanting to bore her, Gordon gave a rundown of his life. From his marriage to Marjorie, to her cheating on him and then divorcing him, to becoming organist and choirmaster at St Michael's church, to meeting Myah. He chose to omit any mention of Jenna, the stunning vicar's wife who he'd bedded countless times before Myah arrived on the scene."She's very attractive," Harriet said as Gordon showed her a photo on his smartphone. "You look so happy together. Do you'll think you'll have children in future?""It's a possibility, given that she's much younger than me. Marjorie was adamant she never wanted children. I respected that. I confess I've never given much thought to becoming a dad. But if Myah does want to become a mum, then I'll be up for it.""About the age gap. It's a large one. Has that presented any problems?""It did at first. Her parents were furious. Some hurtful things were said, but her mother and I eventually came to an understanding. Most people at church have been okay but there were a couple of exceptions. It upset me when my cousin Barry called me a "borderline nonce." He was only joking, but it hurt. She'll be twenty in July. Myah was the one who pursued me, not the other way round;""Perhaps Barry was jealous of you. But yes, that was a crass thing to say. Well Gordon, there's one thing I want to experience before I head back Down Under."His eyes widened. "Really? What's that?""I want to see and hear you play a pipe organ! You showed such skill and talent way back in 1985;" she winked at him and he felt that surge of excitement again."Funnily enough, I was planning to have a practice at church today. Tomorrow's a big day, being Easter Sunday. We've got two choirs singing. Care to join me on a trip to St Michael's? It's only a five minute walk from here."The Mother's Union meeting was drawing to a close, but poor Norman could bear it no longer. Mrs. Wilcox was still questioning Mrs. Harris on a certain part of the vicar's anatomy."Ladies, please excuse me; I really need to; er, relieve myself. Thank you for your company and I'll see you at church tomorrow!""Oh yes, take care Norman!" they replied, oblivious to his embarrassment."That's a fine lodger you've got yourself, Gladys. Now I tend to view men as nothing more than useless articles, but he is a true Christian.""Oh he truly is, Maureen. We have such wonderful times together. He was very easy to train!"At St Michael's church, Gordon gave Harriet a quick tour, before leading her to the organ."This is a beautiful church," she said. "That's one thing I miss about living in Australia. All of the churches there are recent by comparison. There isn't the history. Oh there are some lovely ones, but it's not the same. This one goes back to medieval times. I love old buildings.""Yes, it's a nice church. Good community here too. I get on so well with the vicar. Reverend Morris is a good egg. His sermons are rather tedious, but nobody's perfect, eh?" He sat on the organ stool. "Here she is! What do you think?""She's a beauty, Gordon. Three manuals, and the pipework is incredible. A large organ for such a small church.""Aye, she's a grand old lass. I gave her a complete overhaul in January. Replaced some of the big flue pipes. Now she sounds better than ever." He switched on the lamp above the manuals."Very handy having an organist who can fix organs as well as play them. That's a very specialized job, isn't it?""Pretty much. Right; what would you like me to play?"Harriet removed her thick coat and slid onto the stool next to him."Hmm. It's an overplayed piece of music, but I've always liked The Entertainer. You played that for me when you used to come for lessons, remember?""Ah yes. I remember!"As he began to play, Harriet glanced at her former student, no longer a gauche, skinny teenager but a stocky, fifty-six year old man, with silver hair. He had a paunch, but it suited him. He'd grown into his looks and actually looked better now than when he was eighteen. She ran a finger across her chin, and carefully considered her next move. He truly had become a very gifted organist.Gordon was halfway through playing, when a hand on his thigh made him play a wrong note. He stopped and looked down."Umm;""No-one must find out about this." Harriet whispered."Well Myah's at work; and I don't think Ray can see what we're up to from the other side of the world;" Gordon stammered. He couldn't believe history was repeating itself."An old girl like me can still get all hot and bothered seeing an attractive younger man," she teased. Her thigh was pressing against his and his cock was starting to respond."Uh; Harriet," Gordon mumbled, and once again he was transported back to 1985, and was that shy, awkward teenager again. "I; just want you to know. You were my first major crush. Well; I'd fancied other girls, but you; well you just; did it for me.""I'm so glad to hear you say that, Gordon. You were the only student I ever felt attracted to. Truth is, at the time, I was feeling rather sorry for myself and unattractive. When I found out you had a crush on me, it was an incredible turn-on. To be desired by a much-younger man. I knew the whole time.""Guess I wasn't that good at being discreet," Gordon replied.

New Zealand England Daily, 2nd Test, Wellington Day 3: That's a paddlin. Blimey. And just like that England have romped home. Joe Root and Tom Blundell make tons, but it's England's match and series. Their first in New Zealand since 2008. Jeremy Coney and Cameron Ponsonby review the highs and lows for each team respectively. Come to our live shows! Brisbane December 12 Melbourne December 22 Sydney January 7 Tickets at linktr.ee/thefinalword This Is Hypnobirthing Insta @thisishypnobirthing Or email: hello@thisishypnobirthing.com if you/someone you know is having a baby and you reckon this would help them, as it did Rach and Adam when they had their girls. Support the show with a Nerd Pledge at patreon.com/thefinalword Maurice Blackburn Lawyers - fighting for the rights of workers since 1919: mauriceblackburn.com.au Sort your super with CBUS on their 40th birthday: cbussuper.com.au Find previous episodes at finalwordcricket.com Title track by Urthboy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Vicar's wife, Jenna, decides to give up sex for Lent!A series in 17 parts, by Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.  The Jenna series started  with ‘Jenna Goes To Church', followed shortly after with ‘Jenna, the Vicar's Wife'. It resumed recently with Jenna's New Year'; and now it continues with a Lentil 2-part story. Other episodes will follow.It was the last Sunday of Shrovetide, known as Quinquagesima. At St. Michael's Church, Reverend Morris had amassed a pile of old palm crosses, intending to burn them on Ash Wednesday."Shouldn't be long before the first members of the faithful arrive," he said to his wife Jenna, who was adjusting the flowers at the side of the pulpit."Oh before I forget, I've got something for you to burn on Ash Wednesday," she smiled, handing him a pair of her panties."This is an unusual-looking palm cross!" He replied. "I think I'd better burn this separately from the others! Is there some reason why you want your undies reduced to ash?""Well Simon, I've been thinking. And I've finally decided what I'm going to give up for Lent.""You're giving up wearing underwear?""Ha-ha. Tempting, but no. I'm giving up sex."Reverend Morris almost dropped the box full of crosses. "What? Sex? No, you can't be serious!"Jenna nodded. "I'm 100% serious, my love. Lent is supposed to be hard, and you're always going on about how part of being a good Christian is making sacrifices and so on. It's traditionally a time of fasting and abstaining from something to repent and focus our hearts and minds on the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.""Yes, but within reason, Jen! I don't expect you to suffer hardship as bad as that!""I can do it, Simon. I'm committed to seeing it through. It's only forty days.""B-but, that's six weeks!" the vicar whined, looking as if his entire world was about to end. "I, I'm not sure I can, er, go without for so long!""Now Simon, you're a man of God. You're stronger than most. I know you can do this. And just think how wonderful it will be when Easter comes, everything in calf, bursting out in spring glory, sap rising, mating seasons beginning, shoots thrusting upwards, days getting longer, ""Vicars dying of horniness, " Reverend Morris sighed."Exactly. And it won't just be you going without. The other chaps of this church will have to go without as well!""Oh my goodness, Jenna. There's going to be a lot of frustration building up in this church! When you say no sex, does that mean, ""No physical contact whatsoever, my dearest! No blowjobs, no kissing, no cock in cunt, nada! Just like social distancing."Reverend Morris' lip was trembling. "Not even a kiss?""Nope. I'll be sleeping in the spare bedroom until Easter. I can blow you a kiss. And whilst we can't do anything involving physical contact, there are other naughty ways we can get through Lent.""Like what?""Use your imagination, Simon!"He thought for a moment. "So I'll have to make do with dating Rosie Palms until Easter?""If it helps you cope, yes!"The reverend took a deep breath. "You're absolutely right, Jenna. I can get through this. I admire you so much for deciding to have a sex ban. In fact, I think I love you even more, and I didn't think that possible!""Aww. Ditto." She kissed him. "We'll make the most of Shrove Tuesday," she added, with a wink. "I'm going to do some creative things with pancakes."He slipped his arms around her. "Remember that morning after the Candlemas service, when we got soaking wet in the rain and we just ravished each other once we got back to the vicarage?""Hee hee, yes. Or that time last month during that short holiday in Lincolnshire when we stayed in that weird hotel, and the ghost gatecrashed our passion?""Bit early in the morning for that, isn't it? Then again, I'm not complaining!" A voice shouted, and they both looked round. Gordon the organist had just arrived.Moments later, Josh the curate appeared."Morning guys!" Jenna smiled. She turned back to her husband. "You'd better get your robes on. Looks like some of the congregation are here already. I'll go and hand out some hymn books."He nodded and headed off to the vestry. "Forty days," he sighed. "God, .I will really need your help through this difficult time!"And just how were some of the other male members of St. Michael's Church going to cope for forty days without any 'spiritual guidance' from the vicar's wife?Shrove Tuesday (the eve of Lent)On Shrove Tuesday, Jenna spent all afternoon mixing pancake batter. It would've been quicker to buy some ready-made pancakes from Tesco, but where was the fun in that? She looked at the kitchen wall clock."Come on Simon, you're late. How long does a meeting with the Bishop take?"Her husband had been out all day. At last, she heard his car pull up on the drive."Good. Now the fun begins."The front door opened and Reverend Morris came rushing in. "Sorry I've been so long. Bishop George kept prattling on for ages and then coming back home there's been a road accident so I had to take the long way home, oh I see you've been busy!" He noticed his wife was completely naked except for an apron."Welcome home," she smirked. "It's time to flip some pancakes. Is my randy reverend able to provide some batter?"He licked his lips. "What sort of batter would you be requiring?""Hmm, let's see. That special 'anointing oil' you used during my 21st birthday?" She whirled a frying pan in her hand and flipped a pancake. "Here's one I prepared earlier."His hands found her shoulders, and turned her to face him. His hands moved up to cup her face and Jenna felt his lips close around hers in a tender kiss. She returned it with rising passion, slipping her tongue into his mouth. As their tongues danced, Jenna quickly unfastened her apron, letting it slide down over her smooth skin to the kitchen floor.She could hear Reverend Morris unfastening his own garments, and when he embraced her tightly, she felt his bare skin press against hers with delicious warmth. Her husband's mouth left her lips, trailing down her neck to her chest. He took a nipple in his mouth and teased the erect tip. It was perhaps the upcoming sex ban enhancing his senses, but Jenna's breasts had never felt so full, and had never tasted so sweet. His hands roamed down over her arse, savoring her curves.Reverend Morris moved back up her body, his lips playing over her breasts, then back up her neck. Jenna's hands slid down his chest and at last reached their goal. She gripped his throbbing member, took a few steps backward, pulling gently but firmly, and he promptly followed her. She felt the edge of the kitchen countertop meet her lower back, and she swiftly heaved herself on to the cool granite surface and lay back, spreading her legs.Reverend Morris had a sudden urge to taste his wife; his tongue met with her soft skin just above her clit, then down into her folds, tasting, discovering and exploring all that she had to offer. He began to suck and lick her clit. How he loved to worship at this altar.Jenna reached for the bowl of pancake batter. A wooden spoon was sticking out of the bowl. Without hesitation, she began spooning the batter down her breasts."It tastes alright," she murmured, placing a blob of batter on her husband's nose. "But it needs an extra ingredient, ""Umm, I think I can help you there.""Fuck me religiously, darling." Jenna said hoarsely.A pair of strong, silky legs wrapped around the vicar's arse. He lowered himself onto her and felt those glorious batter-coated breasts rub against his chest as he began thrusting into her. He tried to set a steady, leisurely pace to begin, but the legs around him urged him on faster and harder. Reverend Morris responded with enthusiasm, and within moments he was pounding into his wife with all his strength, mindful that after tonight he wouldn't be able to do this for six weeks."Yes, yes, oh my God yes, I've never felt anything like it!" Jenna moaned."Bloody hell, I'm coming, oh Jenna!" Reverend Morris yelled as his stream of hot cum filled up her cunt and flowed back out onto the kitchen countertop.Jenna lay back on the countertop, eyes closed. It was several minutes before her breathing had calmed enough for her to speak."Did I provide enough batter?" Reverend Morris asked."Your holy offering was more than generous!""Forty days without from this moment on. You've still time to change your mind.""I'm sticking to it, Simon. We'll get through Lent. We'll have to think up some creative contactless ways to get our rocks off."The smell of burning interrupted them. They both glanced at the stove. To Jenna's dismay, the pancake she'd been cooking had been virtually cremated in the frying pan."Oh dear," she said, gazing at the remains of the pancake, which now resembled a lump of coal."Now that's what I call a perfect burnt offering for Ash Wednesday!" Reverend Morris replied.The Organist is Entertained.Gordon Leesmith always looked forward to Thursday evening arriving. This was when he had organ practice at church, and for the past few months he'd been teaching Jenna to play the organ. These lessons were really just an excuse for a passionate romp with the stunning vicar's wife, who was always more than willing to get her hands on the organ in his trousers, rather than the church one.Gordon hummed to himself as he brewed himself a cup of tea. He checked the time. It was only just after midday. Six hours to go. He was impatient and horny, but in a very happy mood. He'd just returned from seeing his Primary Care physician. That in itself something of a miracle in modern Britain; and received good news. His benign prostate enlargement wasn't as bad as he'd feared. Despite being a bit overweight, the doctor had given him a clean bill of health. His blood pressure was low, and so was his cholesterol.Today was his birthday. He was fifty six. A year ago, Gordon had been a miserable, short-tempered man who didn't endear himself to anyone else in the church. Long-divorced, impotent and frustrated with being alone for so long, his life had turned upside down when a young woman by the name of Jenna Fox had started attending St. Michael's Church. A few months later, she'd turned her attentions to flirting with him. Never in a million years did Gordon think he'd end up getting his cock sucked by a stunning redhead whilst he sat on the organ stool.As Gordon sipped his tea, his phone vibrated."Oh, an email from Jenna," he smiled, checking the message.Happy Birthday Gordon! About tonight. I'm afraid I can't make tonight's organ practice. I won't be able to until Easter arrives. Thing is, I've chosen to give up sex for Lent. I know you won't to hear this and it's going to be so hard for me to stick to this, but you've got to test yourself and set a challenge, right? It's what being a Christian is all about. I truly hope you'll understand. But - that doesn't mean we can't still have some fun! Make sure you visit the church - I've left a birthday present for you on the organ stool, trust me, it'll see you through this hard time. And when Easter comes, Jesus won't be the only person that rises, wink wink. It'll be worth the wait, keep your organ pipe warm for me.Love Jenna. xxx"She's abstaining from sex?" Gordon almost dropped his cup of tea. "Wait, what? Oh no! This is a nightmare! I won't be able to have a fuck for six weeks? Bloody hell! I'll go round the bend, I can't even call on Yulia's mate Martika anymore. Damn it, why did she have to bugger off back to Ukraine?"He wasn't sure whether to scream or burst into tears, but after he overcame the initial shock, he took a deep breath and composed himself.

The February Church Trip continues.A Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. A statue is fine, too."What a night," Gordon groaned, as he sat down at the breakfast table with Ahmed and Barry. "I've never endured hell such as this. You'd get better treatment in prison than this hotel!""Fancy a ghost choosing to haunt your room," Barry chuckled. "Not sure who I should feel more sorry for, you or the ghost!""It's not funny Barry! I was almost bloody shitting myself. It was terrifying!" Gordon snapped back."Aye, the sight of you in your y-fronts is enough to terrify anything!""That must be why it never followed you into our room," Ahmed interrupted, pouring himself a cup of coffee.Presently, Jenna and Reverend Morris entered the dining room. "Morning boys! Ooh, so you saw the ghost too? Simon and I saw him, the headless preacher!""Yes, he just appeared in our room when we were er,” Reverend Morris began, and then he started to blush."Unpacking our bags," Jenna continued. "There he was, just standing by the side of the bed. I was so scared!" She added, lying of course."We didn't see any ghost, but the washbasin in our room doesn't work," Josh said. "The water won't come out. Just black stuff!""Same here," Gordon replied. "I got a sink full of soil!""According to an old bloke I met in the lounge, it's not soil at all, but gunpowder." Norman said, placing a plate loaded with what looked like inedible food on the table."Gunpowder? That's bollocks," Barry laughed. "You're not going to eat any of that are you? I'd say there's more toxic waste on your plate than in Chernobyl.""Hmm," Norman poked at the carcinogenic-looking sausages, which were virtually cremated. The bacon, if one could call it that, was not so much swimming in oil but drowned in it. The scrambled egg looked worse."Don't eat any of that scrambled egg," Gordon said. "Apart from looking like dog puke, it tastes like it too.""Thanks," Norman grimaced, pushing the plate away. "Suddenly I've lost my appetite. I think, I'll skip breakfast and buy something to eat later.Reverend Morris looked at Jenna and shook his head. "Well, maybe the trip to the museum will be more, enjoyable?"She smiled back and squeezed his thigh under the table. "I'm sure it will."The small group boarded the minibus, ready for the short journey into the center of Epworth."What's this place we're going to?" Jenna asked, as Reverend Morris checked his smartphone."Well unfortunately, the Old Rectory, which is the birthplace of John and Charles Wesley, is currently closed for the winter season. It reopens in April."A chorus of groans echoed through the bus.Gordon rolled his eyes. "Oh this just gets better, Vicar. What travel agent offers holidays to see a museum which is closed until April, in January?""Oh Simon, this is so disappointing. I really wanted to see the birthplace of the Wesleys!" Jenna sighed."I know, I know. I'm disappointed too. As a compromise, there is another museum a few miles away, called Epworth Fields Museum. It's small, but there are some great 17th and 18th century exhibits there, so that's where we're heading.""I'd have more fun wandering round Tesco," Gordon muttered to Barry.""I'd have more fun with the vicar's wife," Barry replied."Oho! You've changed your tune. What happened to 'dream on, she's way too old for you?' You're older than I am!""Yes well, that was before." Barry paused."Before what?"Barry took a deep breath. "Look, if I tell you, promise me you won't say anything?""I'm all ears," Gordon said. "And relax, your secret's safe with me."Barry started whispering and told his cousin about the fateful gloryhole encounter.Epworth Fields Museum was a three-story Georgian building would never rival the British Museum or the Tower of London in terms of interesting exhibits, but it was better than nothing. An added bonus was that entry was free.After looking round some of the rooms, the group split up and began doing their own thing. Reverend Morris was engaged in a long conversation with a member of staff, who was also a vicar. Feeling bored, Jenna wandered off. She wondered where Gordon and the others had gone. Horniness was gnawing at her again. She headed towards the south end of the second floor. At the end of the long corridor, she pushed through a heavy door and stepped onto a landing. She descended the stairs, her footsteps echoing off the painted walls. The sound was so hollow and cold that she might have been in a vast pyramid or some other ancient structure, alone but for the companionship of unseen spirits.Being a cold Tuesday morning in January, the museum was severely lacking in visitors. The place had an abandoned air, and she was suddenly aware that she was alone on this floor. As she reached for the handle of the door that led to the first-floor corridor, she thought she heard someone whisper her name. Jenna went through the door and found that the lower corridor was carpeted in the same hideous orange nylon as was the upper one. The decorator had a clown's taste for bright colors. It made her squint."Pretty sure this isn't authentic 18th century," she said to herself. A display board caught her eye. It was all about John and Charles Wesley. She recognized their portraits immediately."It was an honor to meet you last year John," Jenna said, smiling at the portrait of the white-haired Methodist minister. "Wish I could've met your brother as well, I wonder if his cock is as big as yours?" She pulled out her smartphone and took a photo of the images.Suddenly, she heard the door at the head of the stairs open with a faint but protracted squeak of hinges. She stepped back, expecting someone to descend from the second floor, but no-one appeared."Huh, weird," she said. Without thinking, Jenna leaned against the wood-paneled wall, which was actually a concealed doorway. It suddenly opened, and Jenna screamed as she went tumbling into a dark passage. The wood-paneled door slid shut behind her, and nothing but her smartphone remained on the floor of the corridor,Jenna staggered to her feet. "Where am I? Looks like there's some sort of secret room here, oh wow, I can't see a thing in here!"A light clicked on. Jenna assumed it was a motion-activated sensor. The small room was crammed with furniture that was covered in dust sheets. Old exhibits that the museum no longer wished to display, damaged stuff, spare panels. It reminded her of the storeroom in the church hall."I'd better get out of here, there might be CCTV or something." The last thing she wanted was to be accused of stealing."Oh I assure you, we are completely unobserved," a male voice uttered."Who said that?" Jenna spun round. She appeared to be alone in the room. Was there a hidden microphone somewhere?""Over here," the voice said again. "In the corner."Jenna cautiously walked around the shrouded furniture. "Where are you?""Right in front of you my dear!"Jenna looked straight ahead. A six-foot tall bronze statue of a man was standing in the corner. As she looked closely, she realized that it was a statue of Charles Wesley."Oh, a statue of Charles!" She exclaimed, reaching out to touch it, and the statue's mouth relaxed into a smile."Greetings Jenna.""Eep!" Jenna stumbled backwards and almost tripped over a chair."My apologies for scaring you. I thought you wished to meet me," the statue replied."My dear brother John has told me so much about you."Jenna blinked, her jaw dropping. "He has?""Indeed yes! He told me you were a very special lady. Not many could unleash such a power as to return a trapped soul back to God's realm. It's an honor to meet you. I just had to meet you!""It's an honor to meet you too Charles! I love your hymns! How, are you a statue? And why has the museum shoved you in this dusty little storeroom? You should be on display."Charles chuckled. "Oh I assure you I'm not actually a statue. I just sort of possessed this statue so I could have a solid body, as it were.""Hmm, I see." Jenna wondered how this could be. After all, John had been perfectly solid when he'd appeared as a ghost. Evidently all ghosts were different."My statue has been in this room for a long time," Charles continued. "My plinth is damaged. And I'm missing one of my fingers on my left hand, look!" He raised his hand. "It broke off. I suppose that is why the museum shoved me in here? Maybe they forgot about me, or couldn't afford the repairs?"Jenna was dismayed that a statue of her favorite historical figure had been dumped in storage like an unwanted toy."I wonder if the museum would let me buy your statue? How magnificent you'd look, standing in the vicarage's garden!""You'd really do that for me?""Of course I would! I'm sure your plinth can be easily fixed. We have an enormous garden, you could stand next to the sundial. And every year, I could put a wreath by your plinth to honor your birthday, ""Mmm, may I kiss you Jenna?" The statue whispered, and Jenna smirked back at him."I thought you'd never ask!"Charles kissed her cheek. "A man should always respond to a lady in a polite manner." Now Jenna was curious at just how this was going to unfold.He took her gently in his arms and kissed her jawline and neck with a tenderness and passion that one would never expect a statue to have.Jenna wanted to speak, but couldn't. His kisses were intoxicating, and she was powerless to resist.Not caring that another member of staff could enter the storeroom at any time, Jenna allowed Charles to undress her. He pulled her to the floor and unfastened his breeches."Oh, just as big as John's!" said Jenna, marveling as she took in the sight of Charles' enormous cock for the first time. The moisture between her legs had now grown so great that it actually began to drip down the inside of her thigh."I'll be gentle, my dearest one," the statue smiled.He shifted his position again, placed one hand beside her shoulder and advanced his knees between Jenna's parted lower limbs. In his other hand, he took his member and placed it at the entry to her cunt. He paused a moment and pushed forward. Jenna gave a brief wince, he was huge, and his cock, being made of bronze, was damned cold at first! Charles began to thrust.He pulled his hips back so that his hard cock withdrew partially from her sweet grip. He pushed forward again and buried himself back inside her. Jenna moaned at the sensation of him moving in her."Oh yes, please. More!"The feel of her wet flesh slipping over his sensitive head and shaft sent a shiver through him and he grunted from the pleasure of it.Suddenly, Jenna's eyes opened wide in surprise and delight and she gasped. She moaned and wrapped her legs around Charles to rock herself against him. She breathed harder and faster until she shuddered and cried out loud as she climaxed and writhed beneath him."Ah, ah, ah!"Charles felt his cock aching with the rising and uncontrollable tide of approaching release. He shouted his delight as he spurted his cum deep inside her."Ahh Jenna! Praise the Lord!"The trip to the museum had come to an end. Reverend Morris and the rest of the group had assembled in the foyer."Okay everyone, time to head back to the minibus. Are we all here? Oh wait, where's Jenna?""Haven't seen her since we arrived," Gordon said. "Maybe she's still upstairs?""I'll ring her phone," the vicar replied. It rang for a bit and then went to voicemail."Hmm, she's not answering. Right, I'll go and look for her."In the storeroom, tired and sweaty, Jenna still had her arms wrapped round the statue of Charles Wesley."Ooh I so needed that," she whispered, enjoying the sensation of cold bronze against her bare skin. "Charles are you, Charles?" Jenna opened her eyes and stood up. The statue was no longer alive, but just a normal statue."Did I send him back to the other side?" She wondered, as she got dressed. "Oh well. I finally got to meet Charles Wesley, and he was amazing! She planted a kiss on the statue's cheek. "I have got to liberate you from this storeroom!"Reverend Morris hurried along the first floor corridor. "Jenna, where are you? It's time to leave! Oh!" He noticed an iPhone on the carpet."Why that's her phone!" He bent down and picked it up. "Oh God, what's happened to her?"

 Her Mentula Cōleī BaptismA Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Christmas was fast approaching, and festive events were in full swing at St. Michael's Church."Well not long to go until Jesus' birthday," Reverend Morris smiled as he and Jenna finished putting up their Christmas decorations. "Just two weeks. Which reminds me, there's another very special person's birthday a week before the festive season, ""Oh yes. I'd forgotten!" Jenna replied."Jenna my love, it's your 21st! You can't forget something like that. I want it to be a truly memorable birthday for you. Is there anything in particular you'd really, really like? Please give it some thought. Turning 21 is a milestone.""I will Simon. But I pretty much have everything I've ever wanted already," she smiled, slipping her arms round him.Later, Jenna was engrossed in reading something on her smartphone."Imagine that," she whispered to herself.Noticing her excitement, Reverend Morris became curious."What's grabbed your attention, Jen?"" Mentula Cōleī Baptism," she blurted out, without thinking.Her husband looked confused. "Pardon?""Oh! It's nothing. Just an old fertility rite of the Eastern Orthodox, in some Asian nations! The Japanese call it bukkake. The loose translation of ‘Mentula Cōleī'  is ‘cock & balls'. And it follows the Anglican tradition of sprinkling. Er, would you like a cup of tea?”"Sure."Later, when Jenna was having a shower, Reverend Morris picked up his phone. "Bukkake, she said. How does one spell that, then?" He typed into the browser. Boocaka? Bookaki? Bukacay? On the third attempt, the browser's autocorrect suggested the correct term."Oh, so that's how it's spelt. He clicked on a Wikipedia link. "Good God!" He spluttered, as he read all about the act. When he'd finished, he chuckled to himself. "You learn something new every day. The Internet never disappoints, "At the Wednesday Eucharist, Gordon had just finished the recessional hymn. The midweek service always had a lower turnout than the Sunday service, but numbers had been steadily increasing all year."Morning Gordon," Reverend Morris said, appearing at the side of the organ."Oh hello vicar," the organist replied. "Quite full today. I don't know, the news says that Christianity is declining in this country but this church seems to be the exception.""It does, and that pleases me greatly. I can't speak for all churches in England, but knowing that our community here at St. Michael's is thriving, well it lifts my heart. I tend not to pay much attention to the news these days. Too depressing. Difficult times for so many. Strikes, cost of living and all that. Oh and England getting knocked out of the World Cup.""Mmm, yes," Gordon nodded. "Couldn't care less about football. I never watch it. Horse racing is my thing. How's Jenna and Christopher?""Oh they're both fine, actually I need to discuss something important with you, Gordon. Jenna's 21st birthday is next week. I was wondering if you could help me with something?""Certainly, vicar!" He replied, switching off the light above the organ's keyboards. "Happy to help in any way I can.""Okay, but not here. Come to my study right now, please.""Right you are," Gordon said. He didn't even have time to remove his robe and hang it up in the vestry. He was intrigued. The way the vicar was summoning him to the study sounded a bit ominous. He felt like a kid at school being summoned to the headmaster in order to receive a punishment. He meekly followed the vicar down the aisle."Close the door if you please," Reverend Morris said, as he beckoned the organist into the study. Gordon did as he asked, and was surprised to find Josh the curate, Father Aiden, Bishop George and Norman Winstanley the new churchwarden all waiting."Eh, what's all this, vicar?" Gordon exclaimed. "A lads-only party?""Gentlemen," Reverend Morris began. "I've invited you here because you are trusted spiritual mentors; and trusted friends of mine. As servants of God, you all have your own important tasks to perform. Now what I am about to ask you, requires a great deal of trust. As good Christians, I wonder if you'll be able to fulfil this very unique anointing ceremony a parishioner has requested."Father Aiden crossed himself. "I am always ready to do the Lord's work.""Me too," Gordon said. "And if there's free beer included, well that's a bonus!""Well this task concerns Jenna, my wife."The men in the study all fell silent. There was a great deal of shuffling feet and awkward coughs!One week later,"Where are we going, Simon?" Jenna asked, as he got into the car. She assumed they were going to a restaurant."The church. Just a little birthday surprise."When they arrived, Reverend Morris requested that Jenna close her eyes."Absolutely no peeking!" He said as he led her down the aisle."This is so exciting!" Jenna said. "Let me guess, the whole congregation of St. Michael's are going to leap out and yell Happy Birthday, right?""Close, but no cigar!" The vicar replied. "Now, just sit on this stool, "Father Aiden was driving down the high street, on his way to St. Michael's Church. His heart was pounding like crazy."I can't believe I agreed to take part in this," he mumbled to himself. "Lord in heaven, why am I doing this? Haven't I sinned enough already?"He fiddled with the car radio. Most of the stations were planning Christmas songs 24/7 now. Chris's Rea's Driving Home for Christmas started playing. This was the third time today he'd heard this song. Passing a Tesco Express store, Father Aiden decided he needed some Dutch courage before he could partake in the special "celebration" at the church. A cheap bottle of whiskey or gin would suffice. Parking up, he hurried into the store and walked straight into a woman who was loaded up with shopping."I'm so sorry!" He exclaimed, picking up the tube of gift wrap she'd dropped."Aiden?"He froze and looked up. "Róisín?""My God! It is you! I can't believe it!" the red-haired woman gasped."W-what are you doing in this neck of the woods?" Father Aiden said. "Did you leave Liverpool?""Sure did. I've jumped ship. I'm at the Living Earth Free Church now and I'm loving every minute. I've become a vicar, well they call us leaders. It suits me just fine. What about you, are you still with the Catholic Church?"The priest looked awkwardly at her. "Erm, sort of. I've been fighting a conflict with myself these past couple of weeks."Róisín smiled at him. "You think your future lies elsewhere?"He took a deep breath. "Maybe?"She put down her shopping bags and took his hand. "I've never stopped thinking about you, Aiden. I know you broke things off because you couldn't break your celibacy vows, ""Oh but that's the thing. I fled Liverpool and moved to this town, and the first thing I did was to break my celibacy vows, "Róisín's face fell. "Oh, so you've met someone?""Uh, No. It was just a, one-off. But it made me think that I'm just not cut out for a celibate life. And because of that, I can't continue in my current profession.""Well you're too attractive for that."A blush spread across the priest's face. "Would you like to go for a drink?""Thought you'd never ask! Let me dump this stuff in the car and then I'm all yours!""Sorry Jenna," Father Aiden said to himself as he slipped his arm around Róisín and they strolled into the town center. "But I'm sure you'll have fun without me. Thanks for helping me see the light though."Jenna could hear muffled whisperings and several male voices. She wondered what was going to happen next. "Can I look yet?""No not yet," Reverend Morris replied. "Just a sec, " The vicar ushered Gordon, Josh, Bishop George and Norman in front of the altar, where several candles has been lit. "Where's Father Aiden?""Guess he chickened out?" Gordon muttered. "Maybe he's in a confession booth? Ha-ha!""Oh well, fair enough. It was a lot to ask, Okay Jenna, you can open your eyes now!"Jenna opened her eyes, to see the organist, the curate, the Bishop, and the churchwarden all stood round her. Gordon was wearing his best suit and the black robe he wore when playing the organ, andJosh was wearing his cassock and surplice."Oh my. Good evening, boys!" She said. "Are you all here to wish me Happy Birthday?""We certainly are," Gordon grinned, rubbing his crotch. "We're here to give you the most memorable birthday ever, eh chaps? As it's a special one, and you're a very special lass, Jenna!""Aww, you're all so sweet," Jenna replied, still not aware of what was about to happen. "I love being part of this church.""And you've brought so much happiness to it," Reverend Morris said. Now it's time for us to repay your kindness." He nodded at Gordon and the others. "Now don't keep my lovely wife waiting, she's eager to be baptized!""Huh?" Jenna blinked. "Baptized?"Gordon volunteered to go first. He unzipped his trousers and pulled out his cock. "Come on lads, don't be shy, eh?" Seconds later, Josh and Bishop George did the same. Norman hesitated a moment, but finally followed suit and unzipped. Jenna's mouth dropped in amazement as four delicious erect cocks were pointed right at her. She was too stunned to speak, and turned to Reverend Morris, who was standing back from the others, and also wearing church vestments."This is our 21st birthday present to you," the vicar said. "A Mentula Cōleī Baptism." It's been part of early Assyrian Christian marriage ceremonies in Asia, to anoint a young bride's womb, before the couple consummates. The church elders would meet with the couple after the public ceremony vows, to anoint the virgin."Oh, my, God" Jenna gasped. "Simon, how?"The reverend simply put his hands together, as though in prayer. "I asked God for help in getting you the perfect present. He knows everything, you see. I'm just sorry that Father Aiden decided to opt out, and unfortunately the Archbishop of Canterbury was unavailable as he's currently in Ukraine. John Wesley's ghost, well one cannot book a last-minute appointment with the dead, alas. But I hope those of us that are here will satisfy you?"Jenna licked her lips. "Hell yes!" She knelt down before them. "Oh Gordon, I see you've got an organ pipe that needs blowing," she said as she pulled down his trousers and briefs and squeezed his erection. "Let's see if you can hit the right notes.""I always hit the right notes," he chuckled. "Especially when you're playing my instrument, ""Umm. You're an organist who always entertains," she commented as she lowered her mouth over the end of his cock.Jenna sucked on the head, tasting him as she ran her tongue over the sensitive opening, while pumping the shaft with her hand. She took more and more of his hardness into her mouth until she felt him hit the back of her throat. She relaxed and pushed on until she had his whole member in her mouth and she was nuzzling his silvery pubic hair. He groaned as he grabbed the back of her head and thrust into her mouth.Reverend Morris watched in admiration and amazement as his wife expertly sucked the organist's cock. Gordon was quite well-endowed, but that was no challenge to Jenna. Seeing her pleasuring another man like this had got him as hard as a rock. He massaged his erection through his cassock and surplice. Could she cope with more than one man though?Josh was growing impatient, and his cock was desperate for attention. "Fancy trying some younger meat, Jenna? I think you've fully re-tuned the organist's organ.""Don't rush the lass," Gordon sighed. "Wait your turn, lad!""I'm sure you can't wait to taste it," he said as he pushed his throbbing shaft in her face.Jenna didn't hesitate, she removed Gordon's cock and Josh pushed his erection deep into her mouth. He grabbed her head and she began sucking him hard."Oh yeah! Praise the Lord! Oh I'm coming!""So soon?" Gordon chuckled. You younger fellas have no endurance!""Now now, enough of that," Jenna said. Play nice." She unbuttoned her blouse, exposing her pert breasts. "Mmm, give me some cum, Josh!"The sight of her tits pushed the curate over the edge and he erupted, glazing them with his hot seed."So delicious! Thanks so much Josh. What an impressive load. No longer shy I see! Like I said, you'll make one hell of a vicar one day!" Jenna felt an intense tingling sensation of arousal and a moistening in her pussy. The crotch of her panties turned a darker shade of red as her nectar seeped out of her and soaked them. Reaching under her skirt, she began fingering herself."We vicars produce more cum, right?" Reverend Morris chuckled, jacking off in the background."Hell yes.""Organists produce a lot too," Gordon interrupted. "Oh fuck, now I'm coming, Jenna, .oh!"Jets of creamy white cum surged forth through the air from the tip of Gor

Dinner with the Archbishop of Canterbury By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. On Monday afternoon, a letter arrived at the vicarage that took Reverend Morris by surprise. "I don't believe this!" He gasped, reading the letter out loud to Jenna. "It's from Bishop George. He says that Justin Welby, the Archbishop of Canterbury is planning to visit next week." "Whoa, " Jenna spluttered. "Yup. You and I have been invited to dine at Bishop George's place. Apparently the Archbishop is visiting several dioceses, and parish churches, and for some bizarre reason, humble little St. Michael's church has caught his eye! Bishop George states that I'll be receiving a letter from the Archbishop over the next few days, outlining the reason for his visit.""Wow, what a tremendous honor for you, Simon!" Jenna smiled, flinging her arms around him. "Well you're the best vicar ever, so he obviously wants to give you some sort of award!" "Hmm, maybe?" Reverend Morris re-read the letter. "This is totally unexpected, and a bit bizarre. I can't get my head round it." "I remember seeing Justin Welby give that speech when we were watching the Queen's funeral." Jenna said. "And to think, we're going to get to meet him! This is really exciting!" "I wish I shared your optimism my love, but I can't help but thinking that there's a catch." A few days later, Reverend Morris' fears were confirmed when a second letter arrived. "I don't believe this!" The vicar lamented as he read the Archbishop's letter. "It has come to the Archbishop's attention that there is a big plaque in St. Michael's church that commemorates a local man called Henry Barrington-Smythe, who died in 1695 and worshipped at the church. According to the covert research conducted by the Archbishop, Henry once owned a horse that he sold to someone whose second cousin twice removed, was involved in the slave trade." "I can see how that could be seen as quite triggering in this day and age," Jenna said. "But I'm sure the horse wasn't bothered." Reverend Morris slapped his forehead. "Oh this is a nightmare. The Archbishop recommends that the plaque is removed. It's not that simple though. It's actually carved into the wall, near the organ pipes. To remove it, would cause terrible damage to the wall! Our little church is so old, and we've worked so hard to fundraise to repair the roof." Jenna narrowed her eyes, seeing how distressed her husband was. This situation needed rectifying immediately. "Simon, try not to worry. When we dine at Bishop George's place, you will have the chance to put your point across to the Archbishop. Has he made this information about the plaque public?" "No," Reverend Morris replied. "To be honest, I know hardly anything about this Henry Barrington-Smythe chap. I Googled him once, and information was really scarce. Nothing on Wikipedia. A few obscure paragraphs on the parish register. He was vicar here during the 1670s and left a lot of money to the church in his will." Jenna smiled. "Oh good. So what we have here is a controlled situation." "For now. I expect he'll tweet all about it after the meeting." We'll see about that, Jenna thought to herself. The day of the meeting arrived. Reverend Morris anxiously fiddled with his clerical collar and kept checking his watch. Nearly time to set off to Bishop George's house. Presently, Jenna came breezing into the sitting room, where her husband stood, gazing out of the window at the front garden beyond. In a pale pink gown, pearl cross earrings, and her red hair swept back, she looked more suited to a red carpet event in Hollywood than a sober meal with the clergy. "Do I look alright?" She asked, knowing full well what Reverend Morris' response would be. "Oh my God, wow, you look absolutely beautiful as always, Jenna. Right well, we'd better get going." "Try not to worry, Simon." She said, kissing him. "It might not be as bad as it seems." He sighed. "St. Michael's church means so much to me. I treasure its heritage. You and I, we've both worked so hard to build up its congregation, raise money to restore the roof, the stained glass windows and to fix the dry rot in the vestry." "And we shall continue to treasure it. Don't you worry. Things might turn out alright. I'm sure an acceptable compromise can be reached." "I hope so." They headed to the car. A plan was forming in Jenna's mind. Justin Welby isn't the best-looking of men, she thought. Mind you, I don't plan on looking at his face, Bishop George was stood at the door of his home when Jenna and Reverend Morris arrived. "Great to see you both!" He smiled. "Can't say I'm happy at what the Big Boss is proposing here." "You and me both, George," Simon sighed. Jenna winked at the bishop. "Right, do go in, make yourself comfortable, there are refreshments waiting. Dinner shall be served at six. Bishop Finch was supposed to be here too, you remember him? Alas, he cried off. Dishonest and he drinks. Good bishops are so hard to find these days, eh?" Bishop George ushered him in. As Jenna walked past, he winked back at her. "I've got your red lace panties on tonight," he whispered. "A great choice!" Jenna whispered back. Reverend Morris sipped a sherry as he nervously awaited the Archbishop's arrival. Five minutes later, there was the sound of a car door being slammed shut, and Bishop George could be heard welcoming someone. "He's coming," Reverend Morris gulped. "Why do I feel like a little kid about to be sent to detention?" "God is with us," Jenna replied, patting his thigh. Bishop George entered the room. "It is a great pleasure to welcome our Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, to dine with us this evening. Jenna and her husband stood up. "Oh good, he's come alone," Jenna smiled, fearing that his wife might have accompanied him. He was clad in a grey jacket, with black shirt, black trousers, a clerical collar and a large cross round his neck. Everyone shook hands. "Ah, Reverend Morris," the Archbishop began. "The vicar of St. Michael's. Nice to meet you at last." "Thank you, Your Grace. And this is Jenna, my wife." Jenna was quick to offer her hand. "I've wanted to meet you for such a long time, Your Grace. You're sitting next to me at the table!" The vicar's young and stunning wife had certainly caused the Archbishop to raise an eyebrow. "Am I? Well lucky old me. I am very honored!" Privately, he was astonished that the mild-mannered vicar of St. Michael's had managed to pull such a gorgeous woman. He was normally immune to such things, but found himself rather shamefully gawping at Jenna's cleavage. "What a mercy she wasn't at the Queen's funeral," he said to himself. "If she'd been sat in the crowd, I'd have struggled to concentrate." The pre-dinner conversation between Reverend Morris, Bishop George and the Archbishop remained cordial, if not a bit overly formal. While the three men spoke, Jenna was a constant figure at the Archbishop's side; laughing at his unfunny jokes, pretending to enjoy his boring stories of ministry in Africa, inquiring about Westminster Abbey, and generally hanging on his every word like an infatuated student with her tutor. Bishop George suggested his guests seat themselves at the table in preparation for the first course. The Archbishop took his seat. On his right was Jenna, and Reverend Morris was opposite him. "Bishop George is such a good cook, Reverend Morris prattled nervously. "I've dined here before and his roast dinners are something to marvel at. I, I enjoy cooking too." Sensing her husband's discomfort, Jenna cut in. "He's a much better cook than I am. Most things I cook aren't suitable for human consumption." The Archbishop chuckled. "Let us say a prayer before we dine." The first course passed without incident, but Jenna was hungry for something else. The Archbishop had launched into a lengthy monologue about hurtful plaques and statues, and Jenna sensed it was time to act. Bishop George was in the kitchen and Reverend Morris excused himself as he needed to go to the bathroom. She was alone with the leader of the Church of England, the ceremonial head of the worldwide Anglican Communion. Now was the time for the vixen to catch her prey. "You've done so many impressive things during your tenure, Your Grace. Words cannot explain how much I admire you," she continued, flattering him off the scale." "Why thank you Jenna. "I appreciate your kind words!" Jenna continued. "Your Grace, I ask you as a good Christian, would you not consider dropping this little investigation into this pesky old plaque in my husband's church? Your letter has caused him a great deal of worry, you have no idea how much, " The Archbishop adjusted his glasses. "Jenna, I have no wish to cause any distress to your husband. I am simply trying to ensure that our C of E churches are inclusive to all, and devoid of harmful imagery." He had been quietly sipping his soup. Suddenly, a strange sensation made him almost drop his spoon. Something was moving up his right leg and pushing his legs apart, the mystery thing continued to rise higher, now it was nudging his inner thigh, he realized it was Jenna's hand. "Are you enjoying your soup?" "Um, Jenna, what are you doing?" "As I was saying, your letter has stressed my husband out so much, that he and I have been unable to make love all week. Can you imagine how upsetting that has been?" Jenna continued, furtively sliding her hand across his thigh and squeezing gently. The Archbishop glanced down and then at her. "Um, well I'm very sorry to hear that." She smiled back and began rubbing his inner thigh very gently. He cleared his throat and blushed. She said nothing, but continued gently rubbing, and moving closer to that treasure she wanted to touch most of all. "Do you realize what you're doing? I am a married man!" He whispered. "I do, but you pride yourself on having a liberal outlook, yes? Anyways, there is a holy place I would very much like to explore, if I may be permitted to do so, if I may be so bold as to request permission from Your Grace, " "You are, a rather naughty vicar's wife," he whispered back, feeling his cheeks flushing. "You haven't granted permission, Your Grace." The Archbishop took a deep breath. Why was he giving in to temptation so easily? If he refused, would she kick up a fuss? Bishop George and the vicar could return at any moment. "Mrs. Morris, you may do as you wish. I am yours to explore, " This was all the permission she required. Before the Archbishop could complete his sentence, Jenna reached across the startled man's lap and quickly unzipped his trousers. He could not believe the dexterity and speed at which his beautiful assailant nimbly accomplished the task. He shot an astonished wide-eyed glance at the temptress seated next to him. Guessing his thoughts, Jenna flashed a mischievous smile and said, "Your Grace. I heard that there's a name for a bishop's staff. It's called a crosier. Am I right?" "Er, yes. That's right." Jenna swiftly freed the Archbishop's staff from his white boxer shorts. He may not have been the most handsome of men, but he had a gorgeous cock. It wasn't a monstrous length like Father Aiden's or thick like Gordon's, but it was impressive all the same. Definitely holy! The Archbishop's back stiffened and he caught his breath as he felt Jenna's soft, warm fingers wrap around his engorged fuck pole. The touch from this ravishing young beauty in the most sensual of spots sent chills throughout his body. He suppressed a gentle moan in the back of this throat as Jenna began to slowly run her hand up and down the shaft. She knew to vary the speed of her up and down motion, and could sense when the Archbishop was reaching peak ecstasy. Before he could achieve sexual release, Jenna slowed her pace or altered the movement in order to delay gratification. She wanted the Most Reverend's pleasure to extend for as long as possible. Jenna explored every feature along the length of her newest conquest's fleshy sceptre. Her delicate fingers rippled over the veiny surface, massaged the soft foreskin, and gently squeezed the head. When she reached the shaft's base, the eager filly worked her slender digits along the Archbishop's inner thigh and cupped his balls, juggling them with her fingertips. "Your Grace, I beg of you. I want to go further and worship properly. However I cannot do this unless you agree to scrap your suggestion that St. Michael's remove its plaque to Henry Barrington-Smythe. Let him and his horse rest in peace, yes? Neither of them kept slaves. I'm sure Henry sold his horse in good faith and had no idea what links the buyer had. A few years ago I gave my old smartphone to a woman at work who turned out to be a massive fan of Cliff Richard. Some might say that was a crime against humanity." The Archbishop was desperate to come. Sweat had broken out on his forehead and his glasses were steaming up. "Okay, you have my word," he sighed. "I'll scrap the whole thing!" "Thankyou, .dear Justin!" She said, using his Christian name for the first time. Carefully, Jenna removed one of her earrings. The Archbishop had to stifle a gasp as she slid out of her chair and under the table. "God," he murmured, almost incredulous at her conviction and boldness. Then with almost no hesitation, she dropped her head and closed her mouth around his throbbing shaft. The Most Reverend's breathing started to become more rapid and shallow, an indication Jenna recognized as signaling her oral exertions would soon be ending. Wanting to provide the head of the church with the greatest amount of pleasure possible, Jenna's grand finale was to deep throat his cock and vigorously jerk up and down on it. This motion had the desired effect within moments, as a muffled groan escaped the Archbishop's mouth. Jenna felt the holy rod in her mouth recoil as it shot a mighty stream of pearl-colored ejaculate down her throat. This first round was quickly followed by a second and then a third as the Most Reverend's balls unloaded their thick, milky contents. Jenna swallowed and savored every drop. It is a truth not universally acknowledged, that the taste of a man, especially a man of God, is the finest taste in the world, she thought. A final spurt missed its target and splashed down her cleavage. Only after the last discharge was launched and the Archbishop leaned back in his chair exhausted and sweaty, did Jenna finally withdraw. The Archbishop jolted in panic as Bishop George and Reverend Morris returned to the dining room. He quickly poured himself a glass of water and swallowed it. He wondered how to warn Jenna, but she'd already sensed it was time to return to her seat. "I'm sorry I was so long," Reverend Morris mumbled. "Call of nature and all that." "And silly me, I forgot to turn the oven up, but worry not, the roast beef is nearly ready!" Bishop George replied. "Understood," panted the Archbishop, wiping his glasses. Bishop George tilted his head at his Jenna's empty chair, and the movement under the table. He raised the tablecloth. "Oh I say, Jenna. Have you lost something?" "Just my pearl earring," she calmly replied. "But fortunately, I have now found it." Bishop George nodded and gave a wry smile. "So I see. And you seem to have gained a pearl necklace too!" A Ghost Appears at the Methodist Church "What are your thoughts on ghosts, Jen?" Reverend Morris said as he climbed into bed. Jenna reclined next to her husband, and ran a finger through his chest hair. "Hmm, never given them much thought. I keep an open mind. I've never seen one myself, but I'd like to! I wouldn't be scared. Just really fascinated." "I might get to see one tomorrow. I've just had a rather desperate email from Reverend Marsha Ewing over at the Oakwood Road Methodist Church. She's at her wits end. Says her church has been haunted by a persistent ghost ever since Halloween. She's tried walking around splashing holy water on the walls, saying a prayer of deliverance, but to no avail. The church has had to remain closed all week." "Whoa, that ghost must really like the Methodist church then!" Jenna said. "I haven't been in there since I was a little girl. My gran is a Methodist. I remember going to a few services. I remember it being light and airy inside, with the white balcony and pale yellow walls." "Well it's not just any old ghost that's taken up residence there. Reverend Ewing is adamant says that it's the ghost of John Wesley." "What, the John Wesley? The founder of Methodism?" Jenna blinked. "Yes. That's the bit I find really hard to believe. Not saying that Reverend Ewing is lying of course. I just can't understand why John Wesley of all people, would choose to return to this earthly realm. I mean, he was a true servant of God, a good man, who preached to the masses and led a long, pious life. Why would his soul suddenly become restless and earthbound?" Jenna was fascinated. "Maybe he didn't choose to return. Maybe someone or something lured him back, and he's got trapped somehow? Don't they say on All Hallow's Eve, the barrier between the dead and the living is broken and the dead can pop back for a visit? Or something?" "Good theory!" Reverend Morris replied. "Wesley did visit the site where the Oakwood church now stands. The church wasn't built until Victorian times, but he preached out in the open in the 1770s. The very spot where he stood is marked by a bronze statue of him. Anyways, Reverend Morris has decided to ask other members of the clergy for help. She's asked me to go along to the church tomorrow. Hopefully two vicars are better than one, and we can help John to return to the other side, so to speak." "Shouldn't Father Aiden be called along too? Like in the Exorcist?" Reverend Morris laughed. "I once watched that movie with some mates at university. I really regret eating at the time, it put me off soup for weeks. Bit different though. That was movie about demonic possession, not a haunting." Jenna thought for a while. "If you ask me, having John Wesley actually appear could be a fantastic tourism opportunity for the church. Think of the visitors it could attract. Maybe he just wanted to see one of his old worship spots again. I wish he could've brought his brother Charles along. You know how much I'm a fan of him. Did I ever tell you I once had an erotic dream about him?" "No? Tell me more!" "I was working as a tavern wench, when Charles arrived, weary after a long journey from Bristol. I led him to a bedchamber. He told me he was travelling to London, to visit his brother, John." Jenna rolled over and kissed him. The Reverend's tongue darted into her mouth, fondling hers. Her left arm stretched across his back with her hand resting between his shoulders. With her right hand, she reached down the front of his boxer shorts, slowly tracing up and down the length of his engorged cock with her palm. "And, I helped Charles overcome his writer's block, so he was able to write Hark the Herald Angels Sing." She pulled down his boxers and rolled her tongue around the head of her husband's cock, trying to get every drop of precum. "Oh, I'll never be able to think of that carol in the same way again!" Next morning, Reverend Morris headed to Oakwood Road Methodist Church. It was a small, solidly-built structure, sandwiched between a row of terraced houses, their brickwork still smoke-blackened from the days of the Industrial Revolution. "This part of town never seems to change," Reverend Morris said to himself, as he parked the car. "They call it the Victorian Quarter." The vicar of Oakwood Road Methodist Church was Reverend Marsha Ewing, a jolly, middle-aged black woman. Originally from South Carolina, she'd emigrated nearly ten years ago, and put her heart and soul into running the church. Even the dismal British weather couldn't dampen her spirits. Now for the first time, she looked a little stressed. "Thanks for coming, Simon," she said as he entered the church. "Not at all," he replied. "Always happy to assist a fellow person of the cloth. A most unusual situation this. I've never been called upon to be a "deliverance minister" before. First time for everything I guess!" "I've been going out of my mind with this. Ol' Mr. Wesley ain't for staying' quiet! I've tried everything to placate the guy but nothing works. I've tried prayer, singing hymns, talking to him. Went through the whole Ghostbusting routine. I asked Róisín, the vicar from the Living Earth Free Church to call round yesterday. She's only been in the role a few weeks, but very willing to help. We both prayed together, hoping John would find peace. But it didn't work and this morning, John appeared again, in the vestry. Took me by surprise. Started blowing papers around. And the church goes so darn cold when he appears. Actually saw him full-length today. I asked him directly, why is he so upset? He said he couldn't say why, but there's only one person who can help him. I pressed him further. He just said the person he needs lives in this town. Wouldn't say if they're male or female." "Blimey," Reverend Morris said, rubbing his chin. "That's a bit vague. It could be anyone. The population of this town is around 100,000 people! How are we ever going to find out who the right person is?" "One of the wardens suggested I post something on the church's Facebook page, but I'd rather keep it all as quiet as possible. We've already had folks making hoax phone calls and posting memes and stuff on Twitter. It ain't funny. Most of my congregation are seniors. They don't want any fuss. Some of them think I'm making the whole thing up, as a sort of viral marketing campaign to increase attendance. Some of the comments online have been nasty." Reverend Morris sighed. "I'm sorry to hear that. Well, let's pray together and see if we can help John. Not sure if I'm the one he seeks, but there's only one way to find out!" "Mm, hmm." Reverend Ewing nodded. "John Wesley is very dear to all of us here. He stood in the very spot where that statue is." She pointed to the bronze statue in the corner. "I don't want folks thinking I'm mocking his memory or anything. Must say I haven't experienced anything like this since the Orangeburg Incident of 1999." "The what?" "Oh it was when I was back in the States. So, on the night of New Year's Eve 1999, Abraham Lincoln suddenly appeared in a branch of Walgreens. Many blamed it on drug-induced paranoia brought about by the hype of the coming Millennium." "Fascinating stuff," Reverend Morris replied. He walked over to the Wesley statue. On a table next to it, were three large, newly-lit candles. "Tell me, does he look exactly like his portrait?" "Oh yes. Long white hair. Dressed all in black and with preaching bands. He's a short stack too. Around five foot four? Slightly built. He looks so miserable though, like he needs a hug or something." "The state of the world right now, I think we all need a hug," Reverend Morris said. "Okay, well I'll try my best. If I fail, I'll have to give Father Aiden from St. Gregory's a call. Let's start by saying the Lord's Prayer." The flames on the candles, which had been steady, flared and writhed, drawn upward by a draft that the two of them couldn't feel. Salamanders of yellow light wriggled across the previously dark side of Reverend Ewing's face. When she looked at the candles, her eyes were as yellow as moons low on the horizon. "He's coming." Quickly the candle flames subsided. The church chandeliers dimmed and brightened, dimmed and brightened, like the flickering lights in the classic old movie Gaslight. Reverend Morris felt a growing sense of fear. The temperature in the church had plummeted. He tried talking to the spirit directly. "The Lord be with you. Lift up your heart, John. I welcome to you to this place of worship. My name is Reverend Simon Morris and I, " From behind him came not a hand and not, as he might have expected, a blast of heat, but a hissing cold that first prickled the nape of his neck and then seemed to drill into the summit of his spine, through the base of his skull. Throughout all this, Reverend Ewing remained calm. "Simon," she whispered. "He's behind you." He didn't want to turn round, afraid of coming face to face with some eldritch abomination, but he summoned his courage. There, stood right behind him, as plain as day, was John Wesley himself. At first glance, he resembled any other living person, save for a faint aura of silver light surrounding him. "Um, greetings to you, Mr. Wesley." The vicar stammered. He wondered why he was so afraid. Of all the dead persons one could meet, John Wesley was surely one of the nicest, most inoffensive ones. John's face relaxed into a smile. He put his hands together and bowed. "I thank you most sincerely. Soon, I shall experience salvation, for you are known to this person whom I seek. I hope you can bring her to me soon. I bid you a good day, " He bowed and vanished. Suddenly, in the space of thirty seconds, it was light and bright in the church. The lights stopped flickering and the gloom lifted. Outside, the clouds had rolled back from the sun. The building was suddenly and unexplainably warm too, as if the temperature had risen by about five degrees. Reverend Morris dared to exhale. "Oh! Well, that, wasn't too nerve-racking! He's a very polite ghost isn't he?" "Simon, did you hear what he said? He said her. A female relative or friend of yours is the person he's seeking!" "Wonder who it could be? Not my mum, surely. Could be Aunt Susan? I'm not seeing the connection here." "What about your wife?" Reverend Ewing suggested. He blinked. "Jenna? Oh of course! it must be her! Her grandma is a Methodist! That must be why John wants to see her!" To be continued. By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

A sequel to "Jenna Goes to Church" By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. A sequel to "Jenna Goes to Church. More fun with the ever-horny Jenna and the good chaps of St. Michael's church and beyond! At the Vicarage Social, Jenna meets an ordained Priest. A full year had passed since Jenna Fox had started attending St Michael's church. During that time, she'd carried out God's work and in the true Christian spirit, brought much happiness to several male members of the church, thus helping them to become better Christians. In her new role as a vicar's wife, she finds there are still many other men of the church in need of guidance,Reverend Simon Morris and his wife Jenna were holding their annual November social at the vicarage. November always seemed such a depressing month, when, after the initial excitement of Guy Fawkes Night, nothing much happened. Christmas was still a little too far away, although the shops had been selling festive stuff since September. It got earlier every year. The usual members of St. Michaels church were in attendance, Gordon Leesmith the church organist and choirmaster, Josh the curate, Bishop George, Yulia et al, plus a few new faces from other churches that Jenna hadn't seen before. Jenna was wearing a low-cut, black velvet dress and a diamond encrusted cross necklace. A couple of times, she caught a tall, serious-looking man in the corner of the room staring at her. He quickly averted his eyes when she looked at him. "Wonder who he is?" The chap was clad in black and wearing a clerical collar, so evidently a vicar or priest of some kind. She knew most of the clergy at the local churches, but had never seen this guy before. Gordon was circulating, and on the hunt for a toilet. Beer always went straight to his bladder. "Great atmosphere Jenna," he said, winking at her. "You look lovely by the way." "Why thank you," she winked back. "You look rather fine yourself. That navy blue suit, Umm. We need more men in suits. Down with casual dress I say!" The organist still turned her on, despite her offloading him onto Yulia's willing friend Martika. "A shame Martika couldn't attend tonight." "Yes, she's been struck down with flu. Been in bed all week." "Aww." They looked at each other. Gordon's face bore an expression that was pretty much screaming, "I am unbearably horny and really need a fuck right now, I know you're the vicar's wife now but I still fancy you like crazy and miss your lips on my cock, " "Er is there a downstairs loo here?" He said. "There's a queue for the upstairs one and I'm bursting for a pee." "Afraid not. Hard to believe in a house this size I know. There's always the back garden. Plenty of bushes and it's dark." Jenna replied, and tossing him a crumb of hope, added. "I might join you out there later." Gordon's face lit up. "Okay. Thanks!" Jenna scanned the living room. Presently, her husband appeared. "Nice to see so many guests. I didn't think so many would turn up!" "I know, It's great!" Jenna couldn't help but notice that there were way more male guests than female ones. "I wonder why that is?" She grinned to herself. "By the way, who's that guy in the corner over there? He looks like he's at a funeral rather than a vicarage social. His face could turn milk sour." Reverend Morris looked. "Oh. That's Father Aiden. He's a Catholic priest. Only been in this neck of the woods for a few weeks. He's taken over at St Gregory's. Prior to that he was based in Liverpool. Huge Irish community there of course, and I believe he was born in Dublin." "Can't get more stereotypically Irish, can he?" The name, the look: Father Aiden had black hair, pale blue eyes and a bone-white complexion. His hairstyle struck Jenna as being somewhat old-fashioned, with sideburns. "He'd be good at playing a vampire. Why's he looking so miserable? Is it because he's in a Church of England vicarage?" Reverend Morris laughed. "Ha! No, my love. All denominations are welcome at this vicarage, we've got the Oakwood Road Methodist guys here too and the Living Earth Free Church. From what I've heard, Father Aiden is just a very serious man. It's just how he is. He's probably enjoying himself, even though he looks miserable." "If he's a Catholic priest does that mean, " "Oh yes. Vow of celibacy." "That's the real reason he's miserable then!" Jenna replied. "Indeed. Whilst I respect his vows, personally it's something I could never adhere to!" "Nope. You like pussy too much, Rev." "Jenna, shush! You're making me blush!" "I'm right though." "You know I can never get enough of your pussy," the vicar whispered in her ear. "I must go and mingle, before I get another hard-on." Jenna sensed the moment was right to get to know the mysterious Father Aiden a bit better. The priest was currently being bored to death by an elderly woman from St. Michael's who was lamenting the state of modern Britain. ", And like I keep saying, this country went to the dogs long ago. Useless, lying politicians, rising crime, rising cost of living. Unbridled filth peddled on every street corner. I imagine, Father, coming from a big city like Liverpool, this small town must seem like paradise to you. Don't be fooled! County lines are a big problem! And the local park. Would you believe it? It's become a dogging hotspot, " Father Aiden said nothing and just nodded patiently at her. Sensing he needed rescuing, Jenna cut in. "Sorry Mrs. Grimes, can I just interrupt and borrow Father Aiden for a minute? I need to discuss something." "Oh be my guest," the pensioner replied. "He's not got a lot to say." "Probably because he couldn't get a word in," Jenna muttered under her breath as Mrs. Grimes shuffled off. "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Jenna, Reverend Morris' wife. Nice to meet you, Father Aiden." She held out her hand, and he reluctantly shook it. "Hello." The priest spoke at last, in a thick Irish accent, his dour expression unchanging. "You look rather trapped. Too many people here for your liking?" "A little." Father Aiden replied. He looked extremely uncomfortable in Jenna's presence. "I'm still, finding my feet around this area." "I'm sure you'll settle in just fine, Father. Have you tried any of the buffet? My husband's a great cook; he's made some great cakes and, " "Maybe later. I, I would appreciate a cup of tea if possible." "Oh no problem. Why don't you take a seat in the snug? You'll find it more relaxing in there. Less chatter." "Thanks." He skulked off. Jenna took a deep breath. "Blimey, what a cold fish. I'd get better conversation out of a statue. Still, early days. With a little bit of help, he's bound to open up sooner or later." Far from putting her off, Father Aiden's stern exterior only served to fascinate Jenna further. And the fact he was a celibate priest, .hmm. That couldn't possibly be good for him, could it? Moments later, she brought him a cup of tea. "Here you go," she said, putting it on the side table by his chair and taking a seat opposite him. "Thanks, Mrs. Morris." "Jenna, please." He twitched. "Jenna." "I've never met a Catholic priest before," Jenna said, and Father Aiden straightened in the chair and braced himself for the usual questions he was always asked, usually concerning vows of celibacy. He swallowed as he noticed how close Jenna was to him. Damn. She looks so much like Róisín, but even prettier. I can't believe this. "Well, we're not that rare," he mumbled, sipping his tea. "I know very little about the Catholic church," Jenna continued. Nobody in my family is Catholic. Mostly Church of England, and a few Methodists, " "I'm sure your husband can help you with any questions you might have," Father Aiden said, and Jenna wondered if this was his polite way of saying "please leave me in peace." Pretending to be upset, Jenna stood up. "I, I'm sure you're right, Father. I'm sorry for bothering you." She hurried out of the snug. Alone at last, Father Aiden smacked his forehead. "Why does this keep happening to me? Why do I always end up saying the wrong thing?" "Definitely a lot of issues with that one," Jenna smirked to herself. A couple of chips on both shoulders methinks. I'm not giving up on the good Father though. Maybe in time, he'll soften a little." Gordon had successfully relieved himself on the rose bushes in the vicarage's back garden. "Ah, that's better. I'm sure those plants needed a good watering," he muttered, zipping up his trousers. Hearing the back door opening, he spun round. "Hi there," Jenna smiled. "It's a bit cold out here, Gordon. You'll be getting a chill in your organ pipe." "Umm. I was hoping you might be able to warm it up." Jenna glanced round and took him by the hand. "In that case, come with me, " In the garage, Gordon's face flushed red with lust as Jenna leaned against a car, hiked up her dress and slipped her hand inside her drenched black panties. Her aroused smell met his nose and made his stiff cock throb more than ever. Already his pre-cum was leaking out. The fact that she was now the vicar's wife, was turning him on even more. "Oh God, Jenna. You always know what buttons to press," Gordon groaned, as she ran her hand down his crotch, cupping his bulge. "Don't you mean which stops to pull out?" She teased, unzipping his trousers. "Your cock is like the Wurlitzer organ in Blackpool Tower. It's always rising." "Ha-ha. That's why it needs you to play it," he chuckled. Jenna ran her hand down the front of his y-fronts. "Ooh, I'm not the only one here who's got damp undies!" Gordon groaned again. Jenna pulled out his cock and squeezed his balls. As she groped his manhood, she realized just how wet with pre-cum it was. "Nice and sticky, just how I like it." She knelt down and teasingly licked the head of his cock before putting it in her mouth. "Umm yes!" Gordon hissed as the vicar's wife began giving him a good blow. He'd remembered just how brilliantly Jenna was at giving blowjobs. Back during that day in church, she'd given him some superb head. Jenna withdrew and reclined on the bonnet of the car. She rubbed her neatly-trimmed bush of pubic hair and Gordon knew what she wanted him to do. With just one finger at first, the organist began tracing circles around the outside of her wet pussy. Jenna moaned, enjoying the attention, but wanting more. Sensing this, Gordon spread her pussy lips with his finger and pushed inside her, spreading her walls and began to fuck her with it. Then he lowered his head. Very slowly at first, teasing her into a state of desperate pleasure, he tongued her, savoring her juices. "Oh Gordon!" Jenna screamed. She began moving her body in time to his motions, trying to get his tongue to go even deeper. Then without warning, Gordon stopped his treatment, as he felt her hand brush against the head of his prick. "Slide your organ pipe in," she purred, knowing he got such a kick from these corny phrases. "With pleasure!" Positioning the tip of his dick right up against her wet opening, he slid inside her and was soon thrusting with vigor. "Umm, more Gordon! Yes!" He continued pumping her hard and fast, pulling almost all the way out and then slamming his dick all the way back in. He grabbed her hips to steady himself, still fucking her rapidly. Then their coupled bodies convulsed ferociously, and Gordon's pulsating member filled Jenna's snatch with his cum. "Here endeth the organ lesson," Jenna said, planting a kiss on his lips. Gordon kissed her back. "Oh thanks Jenna. I enjoyed that immensely." "And you really needed that!" She replied, adjusting her clothing. "It's not good for an organist to have so much cum building up like that, there might be a risk of a ruptured bellows." Gordon zipped up his trousers. "Far worse than trapped wind!" They both laughed. "We'd better get back to the party. I'll go first, okay?" Jenna headed out of the garage. As she walked round the side of the house, she almost walked straight into Father Aiden. "Oh!" He recoiled in shock. "Mrs, er, Jenna." "Father Aiden! You made me jump! Don't tell me you're looking for a downstairs toilet too?" He blinked. "Um no. I was, er, I wanted to apologies for earlier. I was very rude. Whatever must you think of me? You being the vicar's wife and all." "I'd say you're a chap who's just finding his way in a new place," Jenna smiled. Even in the dark, his watery blue eyes seemed to be staring right into her soul. "Anyways, apology accepted!" Before he could say another word, she planted a kiss on his cheek. "Would you like another cup of tea, Father?" Father Aiden clutched his chest as though he'd glimpsed Satan himself. A look of horror on his face. "What's the matter?" Jenna said, glancing back at him. "My tea isn't that bad is it?" The Priest is caught masturbating "Holy Spirit, come into my heart and show me my sins. Give me a proper spirit of repentance and the grace to make a good confession. Give me your peace that I might not be anxious but rather trust in your abundant mercies." Father Aiden said a prayer to himself. He was anxiously sitting in his confessional, awaiting the arrival of any lost sheep who were in need of his guidance. Here of all places, he needed to be focused on his job as a priest, yet his mind was on other things. Last night, he'd attended a gathering at St. Michael's vicarage. He hadn't really wanted to go, as social events made him uncomfortable, but had gone along to show willing. It had been his first social since he'd left Liverpool. It had all been going well until he'd met the vicar's wife, Jenna. The woman had shocked him to the core. She reminded him so much of Róisín, a twentysomething woman whom he'd developed feelings for back in Liverpool. He'd come perilously close to breaking his celibacy vows with her, they'd kissed passionately a couple of times in the confessional booth, until Father Aiden's nerves and guilt finally got the better of him and he'd pushed her away. Feeling it best to move on before things developed into something more serious, he quit his post and requested to be moved elsewhere. He'd narrowly avoided a scandal. Father Aiden was thirty-five, and had been a priest for eight years now. He recalled his early years, growing up in a small village near Dublin. As rigidly as he'd stuck to his celibacy vows since joining the priesthood, Father Aiden was no virgin. As an eighteen year old, he'd been an altar boy at his local church, and lost his virginity to Sara, a much older married woman who was a member of the congregation. They'd enjoyed passionate romps in the confessional booths, in the vestry, just about everywhere. Sara had a very high sex drive and didn't get any from her dull husband. Then a nightmare situation. Sara had fallen pregnant. Aiden's world had been rocked. In their strict Catholic community, even the thought of getting an abortion was out of the question. Aiden had resigned himself to becoming a young dad, but then just as he was starting to like the idea, fate intervened and Sara suffered a miscarriage. He didn't think it would have affected him so badly, but it did, and he blamed himself. It had been a punishment from God. From that day on, Father Aiden made up his mind to become a priest, much to the delight of his parents. However, much as he tried to bury any sinful urges, Father Aiden struggled. After Róisín, he hoped he wouldn't be attracted to another woman, but now he'd seen Jenna Morris, and been immediately smitten. "Dear God, help me not to be so weak in body and mind. I must cast out these sinful thoughts." He was interrupted by the sound of someone entering the confessional. "Bless me Father, for I have sinned." A middle-aged man said. "It's been a week since my last confession." Father Aiden composed himself and did his duty as a priest. Jenna grinned as an Amazon delivery van pulled up outside the vicarage. "Oh good. It's arrived. That was quick." Reverend Morris was coming down the stairs as she was eagerly opening a parcel. "What do you think?" Jenna said, holding up a nun costume. "Ooh sexy. That'll turn heads at the church hall's fancy dress party next month! How very naughty and sinful. Better hope that Father Aiden doesn't turn up to that, eh? Might prove a bit too much for him! Talking of which, would you mind calling at St. Gregory's and dropping off that book he wanted to borrow?" "No problem," Jenna replied. She picked up the paperback. "The Seeker by S G Maclean. Oh, he's into historical fiction is he? Well good to know he has other interests." Reverend Morris started laughing. "Heh, I don't know how I coped when the curate made that joke to him at the social. I know Josh had had way too much to drink but, dear God, I could've died when he started going on about Catholic priests lusting after choirboys." "What? I must've missed that! It must've been when I was f, er, talking to Gordon." "Yes. Father Aiden didn't see the funny side at all. I don't think Josh will even remember what he said to him. Anyways, I had to apologies!" Jenna couldn't help but snigger. "By the way, who are you going to dress up as for the party?" "Haven't decided yet. You once said I looked like Prince Edward, perhaps I should dress as up in Royal robes and get a crown? Anyways, I must get going. I've got a meeting with Bishop George. What a busy week. Christopher's coming round tomorrow." "It's be lovely to see him. If the weather's nice, we can have a day out somewhere. I know how much he loves dinosaurs, why don't we take him to the museum?" "Sounds great! Okay, I'll be back around four. Take care my love. Do give Father Aiden my best wishes." The vicar embraced her and they shared a lingering kiss, before he reluctantly tore himself away. Alone in the house, Jenna turned to the nun costume. Just how would Father Aiden react? "That would be a risk worth taking," she said out loud. Father Aiden had retired to his study. Saturdays were always quiet, and he relished this calm period. Reclining in a chair, he closed his eyes, Slowly, he unbuttoned his cassock. Before long he'd unzipped his trousers too. He was alone in the privacy of his study. His dick was now standing fully at attention. With mental images of Jenna Morris filling his head, Father Aiden took it in his hand and stroked it. He started talking out loud, as though reading out an erotic story where Jenna was pleasuring him. "She settles to her knees between my thighs, opens my cassock and reaches up to open my trousers." He stopped and moaned. "My willing lamb Jenna starts by licking the tip, tasting my precum. It is like silk. She then takes the head into her mouth and sucks it, darting her tongue into the slit. By now, I am rock hard, but still silent. She then takes my entire shaft into her mouth and keeps it there, running her tongue along the bottom. My cock shivers in her mouth; my only reaction. For what she is about to receive, I know she is truly thankful." Father Aiden was furiously pumping his cock up and down. "I gently place my hand on her head, and utter another prayer. My eyes are closed. I am about to come. I can't explain how glorious a moment this is. My lamb is so skilled, and now her sins shall be absolved." He was panting as he felt his orgasm building. Jenna parked the car in the street opposite St. Gregory's. The church was a grand old building, double the size of St. Michael's. The plaque on the railings described the church in eloquent fashion: ", an edifice in the Early English style, consisting of a basidial chancel, nave, transepts, north porch, lady chapel, and an embattled western tower, added in 1894 and containing 8 bells." "Never been in this church before. Oh well, first time for everything." with her usual bold as brass demeanor, she entered the church. "Wow, this is pretty ornate," she remarked. The place appeared deserted. No churchwardens or other staff anywhere. There was no sign of the priest. Jenna walked around the church, nosey-parkering here and there. She waited for a while, wondering if someone might come out of the confessional, but evidently that was empty too. Then she heard a muffled voice coming from a door at the back of the church. "She knows I am ready and expects me to moan or yell, but all I do is tense slightly, for there are still other members of the congregation in the church. Then she feels my load in her mouth. She swallows everything, letting the last bit rest on her tongue so she can savor it." Father Aiden continued muttering to himself, in between moans. Jenna put her ear to the door. It was Father Aiden's voice alright, and he sounded like he was talking to someone on the phone. Then a load groan made her take a step back.. "What the hell is he doing in there?" She wondered. She was about to knock, but what he said next made her gasp. "She continues to suck my cock, a soft and gentle motion, caressing me with her lips and tongue, the feeling of this is indescribable. When she removes her mouth, she kisses the tip of my cock, and I moan, oh dear God, yes, yes!" Jenna squinted and peered through the keyhole. Her eye widened as she witnessed the priest reclined in a chair, masturbating furiously. He had that same miserable expression on his face, but his pale complexion was tinged with a blush, and he was grunting, seconds later he climaxed, shooting his seed into his free hand. "Oh wow!" Jenna couldn't believe what she was seeing. "No wonder he was so miserable. Just look how horny the poor man is!" She licked her lips. The priest had an attractive uncut cock and to say it was large was an understatement. Though tempted to walk in and suck it right there, Jenna decided against it. "No. Not yet. I must wait for the right moment. And then I'll finally put a smile on this face." As he recovered from his orgasm, Father Aiden finished with a prayer. "God, I thank you for your abundant mercies. No sin of mine is beyond your power to forgive, and your forgiveness has restored my soul to friendship with you. Thank you for never ceasing to love me even when my actions show that I do not love you fully. Thank you for seeking me out as the shepherd seeks the lost sheep." A dull thud outside the door brought him to his senses. Quickly, he wiped the cum of his hand with a tissue and zipped up his trousers. Cautiously opening the door, he looked around. The church was deserted, but there was a vague scent of a familiar perfume in the air, where had he smelt that before? He glanced down. And saw the book. He bent down to pick it up. "Holy Mother of God, " Jenna had been here! Beauty and the Priest Friday night presented a perfect opportunity. Jenna's heart was pounding as she made her way to the clergy house where Father Aiden resided. The nun costume was proving to be quite itchy and uncomfortable, seeing as she wasn't wearing anything underneath it. To be expected of cheap Chinese tat purchased on Amazon. Still, the costume would serve its purpose, she hoped. Father Aiden reclined in an armchair as he read a chapter of the book that had been left in the church. Normally, he would be immediately engrossed in the story, but his mind was elsewhere. "Did she hear what I was saying? She must've heard something." The thought that the vicar's wife might have overheard what he'd been saying was mortifying. Suddenly, the doorbell rang, jolting him back to reality. "Who could that be at this late hour?" The priest mused as he got up. Usually the odd lost sheep called round, mostly Eileen Hattersley, a lonely old widow always in desperate need of a chat and reassurance. Then there was Bernard, a troubled fifty-something man whom Father Aiden suspected was closeted. He opened the front door. What he saw was almost sufficient to make him faint. "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." "Uh, Jenna? What, the, what are you doing here?" "Well Father, I would've thought my intentions were rather obvious. Please may I come in?" His stern expression remained the same. He took a deep breath as he ushered her inside. "I know why you've come," he said at last. "You left the book the other day, didn't you? You obviously heard me, in my study." "I did," Jenna replied. "And yes, I heard." His ice-cold calmness slipped a little. "Celibacy, is hard," he murmured, staring at the floor. "I can only apologies for the disgraceful things you heard." Jenna raised her hand and touched his cheek. "But you have nothing to apologies for, Father. "Hearing you saying your erotic thoughts out loud was a huge turn-on. And a relief as well. Nice to know that priests have lustful urges like the rest of us." "Oh dear God Jenna, that's just the problem. I'm having too many of these lustful urges. I'm a poor servant of God. I can't stick to my vows. I'm sinning whilst in church, what is God to do with me?" Jenna thought for a moment. "Your opinion of God is different from mine. I was always taught that because he sent Jesus, who died for us, we do not need to fear eternal punishment for sin. You seem such an unhappy man, Father. Why not be truly honest, as God knows your thoughts anyway. Tell me, what do you truly want?" The sight of her dressed as a nun and giggling in a coquettish manner was sufficient to send blood surging to his manhood. He didn't reply, just put his hands to her face and planted a soft kiss on her lips. "Oh Father!" Jenna whispered. The priest recoiled at once. "I-I'm sorry. Please forgive me." "You are forgiven. Now please kiss me again." He gazed at Jenna, moving his head in closer to kiss her on the lips. She pressed up against his body, feeling his hands on the small of her back. He broke it off. Jenna used the opportunity to gently bite the side of his ear, running over his inner ear with her tongue. He stiffened as she moved across his ear, going down until she got to the lobe. Father Aiden moaned, his breath warm on her cheek. His open mouth pressing into it. He didn't respond further. Jenna dislodged herself from his ear, causing him to look up as he moved his head. "Come," he said, taking her by the hand and leading her into the sitting room. Jenna liked the way he was taking control like this. "Yes, Father." In the middle of the room, he stood facing her. "Kneel." She did as he asked. Father Aiden unbuttoned his cassock, revealing a straining bulge in his black trousers. "Please, heal me," he whispered. Jenna needed no further encouragement. Putting her hands together in a prayer, she smiled up at him. "For what I am about to receive, may the Lord make me truly thankful." Slowly, she unbuckled his belt and started on his trousers. Father Aiden's huge cock sprang free the moment she unzipped them, and Jenna was surprised that he was commando under there. "Are all Catholic priests as well-endowed as you?" She commented as she lowered her mouth over the end of his erection. Father Aiden simply shrugged. Jenna sucked on the head, tasting him as she ran her tongue over the sensitive opening, while pumping the shaft with her hand. She took more and more of his hardness into her mouth until she felt him hit the back of her throat. She relaxed and pushed on until she had his entire holy tool in her mouth and she was nuzzling his pubic hair. He groaned as he grabbed the back of her head and thrust into her mouth. The priest could not believe his eyes as Jenna took him into her mouth. Never would he have dreamt that his dull evening would have ended like this. And yet here this beautiful young woman was sucking on his hardened member. He groaned with pleasure at the sensations of her warm mouth on him. He was afraid to move at first, so he stood still, giving her free reign. Jenna continued to suck and was amazed to see Father Aiden's erection become even thicker and harder under her ministrations. She had never seen anyone so well-endowed, putting even her husband to shame. Her hands pumped the bottom of his shaft up and down as she continued to suck. Without saying anything, Father Aiden beckoned Jenna to stand up. He led her to the armchair and raised the nun costume, above her waist. He let out a sigh as Jenna's unclothed pussy was revealed to him. He liked the fact she was unshaved down there, unlike so many of the women he'd seen in porn videos, waxed and plucked so much that their pubic areas reminded him of supermarket chickens. Father Aiden slid down and began to slowly lick, nibble and suck her clitoris. "Oh my God Father, " Jenna exclaimed. Hearing her utter his title like that, emboldened him. He licked and fingered her some more, and could feel her impending climax building, her hips rose up, she arched her back and started to yell. "Oh Father; oh, yes! Father Aiden worked his tongue up inside her womanhood, swirling it around. His upper lip brushed her clit and moments later she exploded, squirting on his tongue and face. With a single finger, Father Aiden took some of the juice and marked the sign of the cross on his forehead. Still, he said nothing! After she'd recovered, he stood up and gently helped Jenna to her feet. He looked deeply into her eyes, and brought her lips to his. They kissed passionately, Jenna tasting her own juices on the priest's tongue. Finally, Father Aiden withdrew, and removed his clothes. Jenna did the same, glad to be free of the itchy nun costume. "Oh," she smiled, noticing his dark chest hair. She ran a finger through it. Father Aiden took her hands in his and pulled her down to the floor. He reclined on the sheepskin rug. The warmth and light from the wood burning stove played across her body as Jenna straddled the priest and slowly lowered herself onto his erect pole. His thick head slid into her, stretching her to the limit. She paused to get adjusted to the mass of flesh inside of her, then continued to push down, filling herself. Father Aiden groaned with pleasure as he felt himself enter Jenna's tight opening. She kept moving up and down his shaft, each time lowering herself further and further until he was completely buried inside of her. The feeling of his erection deep inside her tight wet opening was incredible. He reached up and caressed her breasts as Jenna rode up and down his throbbing rod. Pressure began to build in Father Aiden's groin as Jenna continued to slide up and down his erection, slick with her juices. Her hot tunnel gripped him like a vice and seeing this beautiful redhead riding him, eyes closed, mouth open gasping with pleasure as he kneaded her breasts was too much for him. He felt the pressure continue to build, then a tightening at the base of his balls until he felt like he was about to explode. The waves of pleasure built to a peak until the continuous pummeling pushed Jenna over the edge and her body convulsed as she climaxed a second time. As she writhed in pleasure above him, Father Aiden felt himself explode as he released his load deep into her womb. His cock seemed to spasm forever as he shot spurt after spurt of cum, filling her until he was completely drained. Jenna collapsed on top of him, also completely spent. When Jenna opened her eyes, Father Aiden was staring right back at her, and he was smiling. A truly lovely smile. To be continued. By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

 A Visit From The Bishop By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Reverend Morris anxiously paced back and forth in the lounge. He was in turmoil; he'd just received a letter from Bishop George, who was planning to visit him. On top of that, he'd been agonizing all day how to finally tell Lucy that their marriage was over. The past few weeks had seen his safe and somewhat dull life turned upside down. Ever since that romp with Jenna Fox in the vestry. What seemed to be a wild, one-off had now morphed into a passionate relationship. Now the vicar was seriously falling in love with the much younger woman.And what about Christopher? His four-year old son had just started school. Now a way would have to be found to gently break the news that Mummy and Daddy would no longer be living together. How would he cope with that? Then there would be the gossips at church. Some of the older members of the congregation would tut and register their disapproval. A vicar of all people, a role model and pillar of the community, cheating on his wife with a woman twenty years his junior! Every week he preached about being a good Christian. Now he couldn't help but feel he was nothing but a hypocrite. "Bishop George won't take kindly to this," he remarked. The man was known not to suffer fools gladly. Hearing Lucy's car pull up on the drive, Reverend Morris took a deep breath. It was confession time. He fiddled with his thumbs as the front door opened. "Hello, um, oh you're back a bit later than normal? Um, where's Christopher?" "I dropped him off at your mum's," Lucy replied. "Simon, we need to talk. I have to tell you something really important. It can't wait." "I, had a feeling you might say that. There's something I need to tell you too, you see I,” Lucy took his hand and beckoned him to sit next to her on the settee. "Simon. I've not been honest with you for some time now. It's not fair, and you have every right to feel angry. I've treated you terribly these past few years, pushing you away, shutting you out. Then six months ago, it happened. This is hard for me to explain,” "Please tell me," Reverend Morris replied. "Is there, someone else?" Lucy sighed. "Yes. I, I'm so sorry, Simon." Suddenly, the reverend felt less guilty. That they'd both met other people made it more bearable. But there was still their son to think about. "I see. Is he, someone from church?" "Yes, but, it's she," Lucy replied. Reverend Morris blinked. "She? Oh,” "Debbie Adams, you know, she teaches at the Sunday school? That's why it's been so difficult. So yeah, it's 2022, but it's still hard to be gay, and a vicar's wife. Especially in a tight-knit community like St Michael's. Many nights, I have sat and prayed to God. I asked him for courage and forgiveness. For how I have sinned." He took her hand. "I'm happy you found the courage to be yourself. And to fall in love isn't a sin, Lucy." "You're a wonderful man, Simon. You're being so understanding about this. I've been dreading saying anything, but I needn't have worried." Reverend Morris awkwardly scratched the back of his head. "I would've supported you no matter what. Um, but I guess now's the right time to confess that I've been seeing someone else too." Lucy smiled. "Oh really?" "Um, you know Jenna? She goes to church. Jenna Fox?" "Blimey, Simon. Oh yes. I've seen her. She is really attractive, not my type, but a stunner. I can see why you fell for her." Reverend Morris' face was turning red. "I worry about the age gap though, I mean she's twenty and I've just turned forty, that's not a good look is it? Others will disapprove." "Simon, love is love. These others you speak of will just have to deal with it." "Bishop George won't approve. He's planning to visit me in the next few days." "I don't think he's the monster you make him out to be. He seems pretty liberal deep down. Didn't he once have a much younger wife?" Lucy asked. "Yes, she was called Julia. She left him for a Catholic priest." "Ouch." "Who was older than him! The priest was defrocked of course and he and Julia emigrated to the Costa del Sol, where they now run a beachfront bar called Unholy Orders,” "About Christopher," Lucy began. "We should tell him together." Reverend Morris nodded. Another Sunday and another morning Eucharist at St Michael's. Josh the curate was at the door, welcoming the faithful. Yulia and a group of other young woman grinned at him as they went inside. Normally, Josh would've nodded and blushed, but not anymore. Today he shook their hands, smiled back and had a little chat with them. When he noticed Jenna approaching, the curate's smile widened some more. "Hello Jenna!" "Good morning!" Jenna said. "Nice day for it." "Nice day for what?" Josh replied, winking at her. "Naughty boy. Nice day for a church service of course! Looks like you have some female admirers over there," she said, glancing at Yulia and her friends. There was a notable absence in the church - John Norris and his wife were nowhere to be seen. The gossip-mongering pensioners who sat in the front pew wasted no time in digesting this new information. "Well I heard that he moved out for a few days. They had a blazing row at the Harvest Social." "Margaret saw Patricia on the bus. Talk about having the wind taken out of your sails. She was beside herself." "Best place for her. A poison-tongued harpy of the highest order! I feel sorry for John. He doesn't need that sort of upset. He's on beta-blockers. They've decided to have a few days in Wales, to try and patch things up." "If my husband had been writing the sort of stuff like Patricia put on the Internet, I'd have told him to sling his hook!" Tony had volunteered to read the first reading, which was from the Book of Revelation. He twitched and sniffed as he spoke, and got a little carried away as he went on. "Then I saw coming from the mouth of the dragon, the mouth of the beast, and the mouth of the false prophet, three foul spirits like frogs. These spirits were devils, with power to work miracles. They were sent out to muster all the kings of the world for the great day of battle of God the sovereign Lord!" "He'll have a stroke if he carries on like that," the old ladies whispered. Tony continued. "This is the day when I come like a thief! Happy the man who stays awake and keeps on his clothes, so that he will not have to go naked and ashamed for all to see!" Some small children sat at the front looked terrified. "This is the Word of the Lord!" Tony sat down. The second reading was a much calmer passage from Romans. Jenna smiled when Reverend Morris took to the pulpit, ready to deliver his sermon. "Today, I'd like to talk all about love, forgiveness and honesty," he began. "I'm sure you've all heard that old saying. If you love someone, let them go. Why not hold onto them if you love them? Isn't love supposed to be fighting for that person no matter what? Through the fights, the struggles, and the pain, shouldn't we keep trying to keep the relationship going? The true meaning of loving someone and letting them go starts with being selfless, not selfish. There is another old saying. Honesty is the best policy. Ladies and gentlemen, I am going to be honest with you all today. My wife Lucy and I are getting divorced. Several loud gasps arose from the congregation. Jenna glanced round, trying to remain composed. She shifted anxiously in the uncomfortable pew. Was the vicar going to mention her name? "That's right. I know this will come as a shock to you all. You see, both of us have fallen for different people. Now, whilst we may no longer have romantic love for each other, we still care about each other. As you know, Lucy and I have a young son, Christopher, and his welfare is of paramount importance. Our split has been completely amicable. Lucy has moved out of the vicarage and we have agreed a 50/50 shared custody,” Josh looked up at the vicar in sympathetic understanding, as did Gordon. Meanwhile, some of the old ladies looked to be on the verge of nervous breakdowns. Jenna's heart was pounding. "I'm not asking for forgiveness," Reverend Morris continued. "I know what some of you must be thinking. What sort of vicar preaches about the sanctity of marriage, and seven deadly sins, the shame of sin, and lo, he has sinned himself. I won't think ill of any of you. I have spoken to God and believe he has forgiven Lucy and I." Suddenly, Tony stood up. "Good for ya, Vicar! You're a top bloke. You helped me get off the crack. So like, I'd forgive you anything, man." He started clapping. Jenna joined in, and moments later, the rest of the congregation broke out in applause. Sat at the organ, Gordon was clapping furiously. He noticed Jenna gazing adoringly at the vicar and gave a wry smile. "I wonder who his new woman could be?" He said to himself. Jenna made her way straight to the vicarage after the service ended, intending to prepare herself ready for Reverend Morris. She was hornier than usual, and had much to discuss with the vicar. He'd given her a key to let herself in with. Alone in the house, Jenna removed her conservative clothing and changed into a far racier outfit - a short black dress, with lacy red panties underneath. She was just touching up her makeup, when there was a knock on the door. "Oh he's back already," she smiled. The vicarage was only five minutes from the church. "Guess he didn't bother to go to the church hall,” Jenna opened the door. "I'm feeling sinful, oh! Er, hello!" Instead of the vicar, a stern-looking man who was the spitting image of Frollo from Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame, was standing there. "Good morning," the mystery man replied. The clerical collar, purple shirt and cross round his neck were obvious indicators that he was a church person, but Jenna had never seen him before. "Um, can I help you, sir?" "Is Reverend Simon Morris in?" the man replied. "No, he's still at the church. He won't be long. Can I take a message?" "I'd prefer to come in and wait. I'm Bishop George. The Reverend is expecting me." The bishop? Yikes, Jenna thought. He's the vicar's boss. I'd better behave myself. She glanced at him as he entered the lounge. At least, I must try to behave myself, Bishop George sat down on the couch. "You must be the babysitter?" Jenna was tempted to lie, but lying to a bishop felt like a great sin, so she declined. "No. I'm, a friend of the vicar." Bishop George nodded. "Ah yes. I didn't think you were a babysitter. Seeing as Lucy and Christopher have moved out. I admire your honesty, my dear." Jenna froze. Shit. Does he know everything? Did Reverend Morris have to confess everything to the bishop in private? Or had he been lurking somewhere in the church earlier and left before she did? "Would you like a cup of tea?" "Tea please. Milk and one sugar," Bishop George replied. "Right, coming up,” Jenna turned and bumped into the coffee table, knocking some books onto the floor. "Clumsy me," she muttered, and bent down to pick them up, exposing her red lacy panties. Bishop George wasn't prepared for such a sight and let out a gasp. A few minutes later, Jenna returned with a cup of tea. "Here you are, um, Reverend? I'm sorry, I don't know how to address a bishop, I've never met a bishop before!" "Just call me George." He replied, taking the cup. "Thanks so much. You must be Jenna, yes?" "Yes." "I know about you," he continued. "I spoke to Reverend Morris by phone a few weeks ago, when the Queen died. There was a notable increase in his happiness, and I could tell he was really excited about something. He was eager to tell me that there'd been an increase in people attending St Michael's. Then he mentioned you. Several times. And then I realized,” Jenna sat directly opposite him in an armchair. Her legs were crossed. "What did you realize, George?" She uncrossed her legs. Bishop George felt his cheeks flush. She'd removed her panties in the kitchen! Jenna Pleases the Bishop Bishop George twitched as a brief tantalizing glimpse of something forbidden was revealed to him. But the panties, those glorious red lace panties! What had she done with them? "Well,” he began, a little hoarsely, "you've obviously had quite the effect on him." "It's like history repeating itself," he added. "What do mean by that?" "Oh, nothing." Bishop George muttered, sipping his tea. "You just reminded me of someone I once knew, that's all." Jenna thought carefully for a moment, trying to read the bishop. So far, his self-control was admirable. Had she finally met her match with this man of the church? Behind that stern exterior, she sensed there was a man in need of some attention. She didn't know how old Bishop George was, but at a guess he was in his sixties. He was the oldest man she had encountered so far. Still, as the old saying goes - many a fine tune played on an old fiddle! "What do you think of St Michael's, then? You must know all kinds of churches." Jenna continued, trying to think up idle conversation. He finished his tea. "Some churches are drawn to controversy in the same manner that flies are drawn to shite. I'm pleased to say that St Michael's has resisted that." "Right. I see. I'm surprised you haven't cut yourself with that tongue of yours, Bishop George!" He reclined slightly in the armchair. "I have drawn blood on several occasions. I speak my mind, Jenna. I can't stand these churches who abandon their core purpose in an attempt to woo those who have no interest in ever following the teachings of God. I'm talking about those "trendy vicars" who install helter-skelters, massive art installations and the like in ancient churches and cathedrals. A church is a place of worship, not bloody Alton Towers,” "Oh yes. You're right," Jenna said. "I'd better make sure I keep on your good side, then!" Bishop George gave a slight grin. "And tell me, how would you keep on my good side, Jenna?" "I prefer to show rather than tell!" He straightened in his chair as she walked over to him. "You seem rather tense, Bishop. I think you need to relax!" Jenna chuckled and sat in his lap. Initially shocked, Bishop George soon slid his arms around her. "There you are. Beginning to enjoy yourself?" She said, playfully running a finger around his clerical collar. "It's been a long time since I enjoyed myself like this," he murmured, planting kisses along her neck and jawline. One of his hands slid round and inside her low-cut dress. Bishop George cupped a breast, gently squeezing it, pinching the nipple. Jenna moaned at his sensual fondling. A powerful desire deep within the bishop began to stir also. The ease at which this young woman had penetrated his unforgiving exterior, stunned him. He was pleasantly surprised at how painfully hard he quickly became, and his cock ached to be freed from his clothing. Jenna's lips met his and their kisses grew ever more hot and demanding. Her hand slid down and brushed his crotch. There was no hiding the bulge of his arousal. "Oh Bishop!" Jenna cooed, rubbing it. He let out a moan. She unbuttoned the lower buttons of his shirt and started on his belt. Resigned to his fate, Bishop George happily reclined in the chair. And then Jenna got a surprise as she unzipped his trousers. "Oh my. What pretty panties." She never imagined the bishop would be wearing women's underwear. Bishop George froze, as his secret was revealed. "Damn." He'd forgotten he'd put those on. "It's a fetish," he prattled nervously. "I, I can't help it. It's a need I have." "Hey, nothing wrong with that, Bishop." Jenna replied. "I love wearing silk ones too. But right now, I'm more interested in what's inside your panties,” She pulled them down, wrapped her fingers around his cock and gently stroked it. For an older guy, the bishop certainly had a nice-looking cock. "Umm. How tempting!" "It's been quite a while since it last saw any use." "What a shame. Let's change that, shall we?" Jenna moved down between Bishop George's legs as he sat up slightly with a cushion behind his back. She took his cock in her hands and while she looked into his dark brown eyes, she began licking and sucking the thick shaft. On her knees so she could get the entire length in her mouth, one hand holding his balls gently. Soon her head was bobbing on the bishop's cock, the shaft wet and glistening. Bishop George was in heaven; groaning in ecstasy as this red-haired beauty worked his member. It had been too long, and he relished every second of this sweet pleasure. "Oh Bishop, I have to convince myself to stop licking and sucking it, and fight the impulse to have you cum in my mouth." Jenna said, as she stopped. "I want your cum in my cunt." Without further hesitation, Bishop George rose from the chair and led her over to the dining table. He didn't even bother to push the table mats aside as he heaved her up on the oak surface, lifting up her dress and pushing her backwards. His tongue ran long, hard strokes up her inner thighs. He shoved her clothing up more, exposing her mound to him. Jenna lifted a leg over his shoulder, giving him full access. He lapped her outer lips, tasting her tantalizing wetness. What a cunt! It was as divine as he imagined. She gasped and curled her fingers when he slipped a finger inside her folds. Whilst his bony fingers worked their magic, he sucked on the nub at the top of her sex. A low moan escaped Jenna's lips. Bishop George hurriedly cast off his jacket and pushed his trousers and panties down to his ankles. He grabbed her hips, his cock finding her waiting passage. Jenna wrapped her legs around his arse and pulled him into her. Bishop George filled her completely. His thrusts started soft and gentle, almost loving, but then his pace quickened. He kept an intense rhythm, hammering in and out of her, with the vigor of a much younger man. Jenna screamed as she climaxed, burying her face in his shoulder. Moments later he came, filling her with his pearly cum. Jenna sat up, feeling his jizz leak from her as he slowly pulled out. Her hand fell to his deflating member, cupping him. "Well Bishop. I expect you to give a glowing report on St Michael's Church. And its vicar." "You have my word," Bishop George gasped, getting his breath back. "Excellent. I have another little gift for you. Jenna slid off the table and hurried into the kitchen. She returned and handed him her pair of red lace panties. "I think they'll look good on you, Bishop!" Five minutes later, the front door opened and Reverend Morris came in. "Sorry I've been so long Jenna. I got roped into doing a charity raffle and, oh!" He froze as he noticed Bishop George sat there. "Um. George. How are you?" Bishop George beamed broadly and rose to his feet. "Great to see you again, Simon!" He shook hands. "Your charming partner Jenna here very kindly made me a cup of tea." Stunned by the bishop's change in demeanor, Reverend Morris didn't know what to say. "Oh? You, know about us?" "Jenna filed me in, so to speak. I think you've handled things marvelously at St Michael's. I can see for myself how happy the two of you are together. I'm pleased that you and Lucy had an amicable split. Your face tells me you weren't expecting such a reaction?" "Er, no, I wasn't!" Reverend Morris replied. "I, I'm glad you're alright with the situation." "Simon. We may be men of God, but we're still human!" Bishop George said, and gazed adoringly at Jenna. "And what could be nicer than the love of a fine lass, eh?" Jenna winked back at him. "Well! It's time I was going. I have much to do, other vicarages to call at. A shame all churches aren't as well-attended as yours, eh Simon? Then the Church of England wouldn't be in such a mess. Keep up the good work! Lovely to meet you, Jenna. I'll be calling round again sometime! Cheerio!" Reverend Morris thought he was going to faint. "Wow. Praise indeed! I wasn't expecting that. I thought he was going to read me the riot act!" "God works in mysterious ways," Jenna replied, sliding her arms round him. Bishop George got into his car, a very happy man. "I can't wait to try these panties on!" He smiled to himself. What's Ukrainian for ‘Big British Cock'? A full year had passed since Jenna Fox had started attending St Michael's church. During that time, she'd carried out God's work and in the true Christian spirit, brought much happiness to several male members of the church, thus helping them to become better Christians. "It feels wonderful being a vicar's wife!" Jenna said as she helped Reverend Morris into his cassock and surplice ready for the Sunday service." "And you fill the role so well, my love." He replied, kissing her. "I couldn't have managed without you these past few weeks. Having to do a morning service at St John's for four weeks in a row, then here at St Michaels. And after this, some members of the Good luck Ministry Gospel Choir are visiting, to practice with Gordon." "God knows you're more than capable, Simon. And it was so wonderful when Lucy and Debbie asked you to conduct their marriage ceremony too. I'm so glad everything has turned out okay." "What a difference a year makes. A shame John and Patricia Norris stopped attending our church. I heard they were having a lot of marital problems. Perhaps they'll return to us one day?" "Mmm, perhaps," Jenna replied, knowing that Patricia Norris' absence wasn't missed by anyone. "Still, Yulia's friend Martika has joined the congregation. I think Yulia is planning to live in the UK permanently. She's settled in well, and has taken a fancy to Josh I believe." Jenna ran her fingers down the front of her husband's cassock. Reverend Morris chuckled. "Oh lucky Josh. Well he's desperate for a girlfriend. He's really come out of himself these past few months. I remember the first day he became curate, he was so damned shy, he would blush every time a woman spoke to him!" "He just needed his confidence building up," Jenna smirked. Suddenly, the sound of Gordon playing the organ was heard, indicating the start of the morning service. "Guess it's time for me to do my duty," Reverend Morris said. "Jenna, you do realize that I have a raging erection?" "Being a good Christian is such hard work! Try not to get too excited when you do your sermon," she added with a wink. As he hurried out of the vestry, Jenna followed him and then made her way to the pew where Yulia and her friend Martika were sitting. "Morning!" She said to Yulia. "Ah! Good morning Mrs. Morris!" Yulia replied. "Hey, you can still call me Jenna. So, is this your friend who's just arrived from Kyiv?" "Yes, this is Martika, she's twenty, her English isn't that good yet, but I speak for her. She'll learn quick, yes? I wanted her to start attending Sunday service at St Michaels because she really likes British hymns, and back in Kyiv, she played the pipe organ." Martika whispered something in Ukrainian to Yulia. "Oh yes. She has a huge thing for older British men. You know a nice older man she can get to know?" Jenna gave her famous smirk. "I know the perfect man." After the service, Yulia flicked back her long blonde hair as the curate walked past. "Go and speak to him," Jenna urged her. "Josh is a lovely man." "You really think he'd, like to go out with me?" "Of course he would!" Gordon had been in a happy but thoughtful mood this morning. As he tidied up his music books, he hummed Jerusalem to himself. What now? He wondered. Now that Jenna had become the vicar's wife, he sensed that their erotic couplings would now be coming to an end. Unless she and the vicar planned to have some kind of open marriage. He wasn't complaining. The past few months had been some of the happiest times he'd had in years. He had no interest in getting married again. He didn't want it all. Thanks to Jenna, he'd been afforded a delicious morsel of fun, and had felt desired again. Presently, Jenna appeared at the side of the organ, bringing him to his senses. "Hi there, gorgeous!" He blurted out. "Oops, beg your pardon. I mean, Mrs. Morris!" Jenna chuckled. "Hello there, Stud of the Organ. Thanks for playing Shine Jesus Shine for Tony. I know you loathe that hymn." "Hah, well it'll never be a favorite of mine, but if it's requested, I'm glad to play it. Tony seems to be really doing well these days. Hope he stays clean and on the straight and narrow." "So do I. I think he'll be fine. He's started a course at the adult learning college, along with Amir." Gordon nodded. "Good for them. Um, Jenna, I was wondering, could I talk to you about something?" He fiddled with his robe. "Now that you're the new Mrs. Reverend, .well I, er," She moved to reassure him. "I know what you're thinking. You're wondering if our little "organ lessons" are no more?" "Well, yes. I, understand completely of course, I mean you married Simon in this church and Bishop George did the service." Jenna smiled at the mention of the bishop. It had been so kind of him to do the service, and to lend her one of his favorite pairs of silk panties, in the old tradition of something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue,”Gordon, how would you feel if I told you that I have the perfect replacement lined up for you? She's really lovely." He thought for a moment. "Hmm, I'm not sure. I don't think any woman could thrill me in the same way you have, Jenna. Who did you have in mind?" "I'm flattered, Gordon. Give her a chance, eh? Her name's Martika and she's Yulia's friend. Back in Ukraine, she used to play the pipe organ in her local church. It's her English skills that need a bit of help. And I know you've become quite fluent in Ukrainian,” Martika appeared. "Martika, this is Gordon," Jenna said, introducing her to the organist. The blonde beauty looked like she was about to faint. "Oh Mr. Gordon! I like a lot!" "She really likes older men," Jenna added with a wink. "Wow," Gordon murmured, before speaking to her in her native tongue. Martika giggled. She grinned devilishly and began to undo her top enough to uncover one of her breasts. "Bloody hell!" Gordon gasped. Martika slapped her breast against his face and was pleased at how eager he was to suckle on her stiff nipple. Her hand reached down and firmly groped and massaged his cock and balls through his trousers. She forced a muffled groan out of the organist as she unzipped him. "I must tend to my man of the cloth," Jenna said, leaving the two of them. Martika slid her thong down to her knees and slowly lowered herself onto Gordon's throbbing, aching cock. "Mr. Gordon! Big cock like British Bulldog!" She smiled. Gordon replied to her in Ukrainian, something along the lines of "I will fuck you so hard, your screams will be heard back in Kyiv." Gordon buried his meat into this eager young filly, letting out a long moan as he let it pulse and twitch inside her. Slowly, Martika began to rise and fall back down on his manhood, stopping at every third or so bounce to grind herself on it, each round picking up speed and force. She began to grope and rub her tits as her momentum continued to increase, pounding down harder and faster onto Gordon's cock. What a heavenly view. Big luscious tits bouncing up and down while she rode his pole. They looked so amazing jiggling around, it was driving him crazy. His groaning, muffled whimpering filled her with satisfaction. Her bounces became faster and she landed down upon him with more intensity, leaning in on every downward gyration to get him to reach her favorite spot. She screamed out, not just for the immense physical pleasure but from the psychological high she was experiencing. The quaking of her body and passion of her final yell was enough to bring Gordon to his own explosive finish, emptying his load deep inside her, "Mr. Gordon, awesome!" "Ahem," someone cleared their throat and Gordon looked to his right. Josh was standing there, along with several horrified-looking older black women. "Gordon," Josh began, struggling to hold back laughter. "These ladies are from the Good luck Ministry Gospel Choir. When you've, finished what you're doing, they're ready to practice the pieces for the upcoming Jesus Christ Superstar tribute concert." To be continued. By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

 Jenna enjoys sexuality without shame, in the church. By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Jenna seduces the Vicar. St Michael's parish church was a charming place of worship that dated back to the 12th century. A quaint little church, the sort that one could see in countless towns and villages across England. Within its walls however, all was not well. Ill-feeling festered among some of the male members of the church, the vicar included. But God, in his great mercy and wisdom, saw fit to send a beautiful angel to this church, in order to bring happiness. And so, our story begins,Reverend Simon Morris was a vicar who hadn't gotten laid in a long time. Aged forty, he'd been at St Michael's for nearly three years now. He prided himself on the success he'd had in increasing the congregation of this little church. The previous vicar, Reverend Smith, had died very suddenly from a stroke back in 2019, leaving the community devastated. Reverend Morris knew he had big boots to fill. So far, God had been with him all the way. He'd steered the church through the Covid pandemic and defied orders to close it during the lockdowns. This action had earned him a lot of respect, not to mention he'd gained a few more loyal sheep who'd deserted other churches. There was just one area where God had been unable to help him - his sexless marriage. He'd been married to Lucy for nearly ten years now and they had a four year old son, Christopher. Unfortunately, it was shortly after Christopher's birth that the avenue of carnal pleasure was closed off to him. He'd tried everything to re-ignite the spark, but nothing worked. Now Christopher had started primary school, Reverend Morris had hoped that things would improve, but instead, he and Lucy drifted further apart. He kept up the appearance that everything was perfect, during the many social functions he had to hold at the vicarage. Inside however, his frustration threatened to overwhelm him. "O Lord God, who hast called thy servants to ventures of which we cannot see the ending, by paths as yet untrodden, through perils unknown: Give us faith to go out with a good courage, not knowing whither we go, but only that thy hand is leading us, and thy love supporting us; to the glory of thy Name. Amen." Reverend Morris said a quick prayer to himself as he shook hands with the last of the members of the congregation. He let out a sigh of relief. Another Sunday service had passed - with an increase in numbers. He looked at his watch. He had a brief few minutes to head to the vestry, change out of his cassock and surplice, and pop over to the church hall for tea and biscuits. The usual chit chat with his faithful flock. The nosy old ladies, Josh, the new and nervous curate, Yulia the Ukrainian refugee and her two young children, Amir and Majid, the Iranian brothers who'd fled persecution in their homeland due to being Christians, Debbie the single mother and Sunday school teacher, Tony the reformed drug addict, Mr. and Mrs. Norris, the church's resident do-gooders; a pair of boomers who made it their business to know more about the C of E than the Archbishop of Canterbury, Then there was Jenna Fox. Twenty, red haired and absolutely stunning. And too young for him. He'd spotted her in the congregation earlier, but not on the way out. Which could only mean, "Good morning Reverend!" Jenna said, bold as brass, sauntering out of the toilets, where she'd obviously been waiting for the others to depart. "Oh, good morning Jenna," Reverend Morris replied, staring at her and then quickly averting his eyes downwards. She was wearing attire that was barely suitable for church - a low cut black top and black pleated miniskirt. "I wore black today. For the Queen. Loved your sermon reflecting on her long reign. It was really touching." "Thanks. Glad you liked it. It's been hard to write. So, are you heading over to the church hall? I'll be there shortly." "Mmm, maybe later," she grinned. "Did you know Reverend, that you actually resemble Prince Edward a bit?" Feeling a little uncomfortable at how close she was, he felt color rise in his cheeks. "Uh, well thanks. I'll take that as a compliment! Do excuse me Jenna, I just have to ditch these vestments, then I shall be going to the hall." He hurried off to the vestry. In there, he looked at himself in the mirror. He was an average-looking bloke, not the sort that a stunning younger woman would lust after. "Well at least I'm much younger than Prince Edward." He smiled. Suddenly, the door opened. "You're not getting away from me this time Reverend," Jenna whispered, shutting the door behind her. Before he could say anything, she'd cornered him. Glancing into his pale blue eyes for a moment, she covered his lips with hers, feeling him tense up as her arms reached round his back. After a few seconds, he relaxed, as if he knew resistance of any kind was futile. Jenna could feel the heat of his body through his cassock. "I've wanted you for a long time Reverend," she murmured. "Ever since you taught me that Introduction to Christianity course six months ago." "J-Jenna, this isn't appropriate. I, I am a married man!" "Not a very happy one, I suspect. I can always tell." A shuddering sigh escaped him as her lips brushed his again. Jenna broke the kiss. "Is there any space in here to conduct unholy activities, Reverend?" Powerless to resist this angel of sin, the smitten vicar grabbed her slim hips and motioned her to straddle his lap. "Jenna," he mumbled, rubbing one thumb over the outline of her hardened bra-less nipple through her thin top. "It's, er, been a long time since I was in a situation like this." "Your wife,” "Lucy and I have been leading separate, and sexless lives for years." "I'm sorry to hear that. So let me bring you some salvation." He leaned in to kiss the exposed skin of Jenna's neck; his lips leaving a hot trail from just below her ear to the center of her throat at the neck of her black top. Then he took the lower hem of the top and pushed it up to bare her belly, and then her pert C-cup breasts. Leaning her back, he took one nipple with his lips and she gasped. He was not only willing, but rampant; as Jenna had suspected, it had been a long time since this man had got laid. Even with the cassock and surplice on, there was no disguising the Reverend's raging erection. Jenna explored eagerly, desperately, reaching under the cassock, feeling his hard erection through his trousers. Lord Jesus, Jenna was trembling so much with excitement. She'd had a clergy fetish for years and fantasized about seducing the vicar for such a long time. Reverend Morris returned his attention to her breasts and she was so wet she could almost feel herself dripping into her panties. Without further ado, she unfastened his belt before reaching for his zipper. Reverend Morris attempted to remove his surplice. "No, no, leave that on," Jenna said. "As you wish." He mumbled holding up his cassock, almost unable to comprehend what was about to happen. Jenna knelt in front of the vicar, pulled down the zipper of his trousers, and exposed white boxer shorts - adorned with little Christian crosses. "Oh wow. Where did you get those, Reverend?" Jenna grinned. He blushed. "Um, a church event I attended in London. The gift shop was quite varied,” "Umm." Jenna pulled down his trousers and boxers, freeing his heated cock. "Ah. The staff of life." She took his hot length in her hand, feeling it, and stroked it up and down as she licked and sucked at the tip. "Oh dear God," Reverend Morris groaned. As she groped his shaft, she realized just how wet with pre-cum it was. "Ooh, Reverend you certainly have sinned," Jenna smiled. "Nice and wet - just how I like it." She teasingly licked the head of his cock before putting it in her mouth. She began to suck him off furiously, her head bobbing up and down faster and faster, her tongue licking the sensitive underside of his shaft. "Oh, I am blessed!" He gasped. Jenna licked every inch of his love pole, running her tongue cross every vein, igniting every nerve ending. The vicar cried out in joy. Then she withdrew and looked up at him. In her throatiest, most sexy tone, she said, "Well Reverend, are you just going to stand there, or come and tame your lost sheep?" Like a bolt of lightning, Reverend Morris kissed Jenna's lips as if they were the sweet fruit of Eden, and lifted her up. He pulled her drenched lacy panties off. It had been too damn long since he'd had pleasure so willingly offered to him like this. He parted her legs quickly, and, with no further warning, plunged his holy rod deep into her waiting cunt. He began to establish a fast-paced rhythm which soon had them both moaning in pleasure. "Ah hah!" Jenna gasped. "Oh, Reverend. Yes! Right there. Deeper. Deeper! God that feels amazing! Oh! Ah! Oh, Yes!" Jenna was in a state of complete euphoria. She had dreamt about what it would feel like to be fucked by a vicar, but never in her wildest dreams did she ever think it would be this incredible. He was a skillful lover, hitting the sensitive nerves within her tunnel, bringing her ever closer to that heavenly pinnacle. Reverend Morris began to quicken his thrusts and rammed his hard staff deeper into her yearning vagina. He felt his climax coming; it was an uncontrollable wave of ecstasy. Faster and faster he thrust, the sound of colliding skin echoing throughout the vestry. Jenna kept on riding the vicar until he blasted his cum into her like a fire hose. "Ah! Praise the Lord!" Jenna looked at Reverend Morris, and for the first time in years, he looked truly satisfied. "For what I hath received, I am truly thankful," he panted. "Me too," Jenna replied, her insides filled with his thick cum. In the afterglow of their sinful fun, they kissed each other softly, caressing one another lovingly. Reverend Morris couldn't stop smiling. So that was what he'd been missing out on. Dear God! He doubted that Lucy could ever match Jenna's standards, even if she suddenly turned into a raving nympho. "I suppose, we should head over to the church hall," Jenna said, idly fingering his clerical collar. "More tea Vicar?" Jenna Plays the Organist's Organ Gordon Leesmith was not having a good day. Another Sunday, another morning Eucharist at St. Michael's, where he dutifully played the organ and directed the choir. It had all gone as planned, until the end of the service when that damned busybody John Norris had felt the need to vent his spleen. "You played the wrong opening hymn, Gordon," John exclaimed, as the congregation departed. "Great is Thy Faithfulness was selected, not Love Divine." "That's not what the vicar told me," Gordon muttered, not looking at him. He loathed this odious pedant. "Anyways I just thought I'd let you know. Patricia and I were a little confused." "No change there then," Gordon replied, unable to restrain himself. "Do you think maybe just for once you and wife might refrain from poking your noses into every bloody thing?" John was so taken aback, he couldn't speak for a moment. "Well really! There's no need for language, Gordon. I was merely saying,” "Don't come the innocent with me, you're the biggest shit-stirrer in this church. I've seen the gossip you spread on Facebook. And I'll play whatever bloody hymn I like, thank you very much." "I wouldn't argue in a church." "I'll argue anywhere as long as I'm in the right. Now bugger off!" Thus suitably chastised, the subdued John left, and Gordon was left to sort through his music sheets in peace. He adjusted his black robe and continued grumbling to himself. He wasn't always as grumpy and short-tempered as this. Years ago he'd been a jolly, fun-loving chap who enjoyed joking with other members of the church. That was before his divorce. Gordon was fifty-five, and had been organist and choirmaster at St Michael's for almost twenty years. Ten years ago, his wife Marjorie had run off with a man young enough to be her son. She was fifty and her lover was a twenty-five year old personal trainer. They'd met online. Gordon's world had been knocked for six. He never imagined Marjorie would cheat on him. They'd always been so happy, with a very active sex life. Jenna had been quietly observing the little outburst with much interest. After expressing an interest in joining the choir, Reverend Morris had warned her that the organist had the "shortest of short fuses." When she'd pressed him further, the vicar had revealed the details of Gordon's marital problems and sworn her to secrecy. Jenna licked her lips. She was aching for a romp with Reverend Morris right now, but he'd been asked to conduct a service at another local church this morning, and a female vicar had stood in for him. What was a horny lass to do? "Poor, miserable Gordon." Jenna mused. "I doubt he gets much action. He needs cheering up." Looking at him, she thought him quite good looking for an older man. He had a full head of silvery hair and unlike Reverend Morris, was of a stocky build. On the occasions she'd seen him minus his long black robe, he possessed quite a paunch. Jenna idly toyed with a strand of her hair, considering her next move. Gordon was giving off daddy kink vibes. "I wonder if the organist will let me play with his organ?" Gordon was busy rifling through hymn books and didn't notice Jenna saunter over at first. She cleared her throat and he glanced round. "Uh. Can I help you with something?" "Oh hello," Jenna replied, acting rather coy. "I, hope I haven't caught you at a bad time, Mr,” "Gordon. Bad time? There's never a good time," he muttered, giving the usual gruff response. "Nothing personal." "Well I just wanted to thank you, Gordon. You played my favorite hymn, Love Divine. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed it." His attention captured, Gordon finally put down the books he was fiddling with and sat on the organ stool, facing her. "You did?" "I love anything by Charles Wesley. His hymns are amazing." "Indeed they are. He wrote thousands during his lifetime." Gordon certainly was hard to read. Jenna wondered if she was having any effect on him at all. His dour expression didn't give anything away. It looked like this chap was going to be quite a challenge. "Every week I come to church and I hear you play these lovely old hymns on this fine organ." Jenna continued. "I love hearing you play." "I've had enough practice. I've been doing this for many years now." Evidently, Gordon wasn't used to receiving any kind of compliments whatsoever. Jenna walked closer. "You're so talented." "Ah, well. That's, nice of you to say. What's your name?" Her persistence seemed to be paying off, and the organist appeared to be getting a little flustered at her flattery. "Jenna." "Do you play any musical instruments, Jenna?" Gordon replied. "Just the piano." He nodded. "Good, good. For work or just a hobby?" "Oh purely as a hobby," she smiled, flicking her red hair. "I was wondering, please could you play a bit of Charles Wesley for me?" Gordon's stern face finally relaxed into a smile. "Why certainly. What would you like to hear?" "Oh how about And Can It Be?" He shuffled around on the stool. "Very well. I often practice a bit after the morning service, when the others have left. I'm not one for idle chatter in the church hall." "Me neither," Jenna said, walking up to beside him, so close that her cleavage was at his eye level. Gordon couldn't help but give a side glance, and then quickly looked ahead. "Right, are you ready?" The strains of the great Wesleyan hymn filled the church as Gordon's fingers graced the mighty organ. Jenna hummed along, and then an idea came into her head. Suddenly, Gordon stopped playing. "I don't hear any singing, Jenna. How about you sing whilst I play?" "Ok!" She grinned, and he resumed playing. "And can it be, that I should gain - An int'rest in the Savior's blood?" Jenna deftly unfastened the first button on her white top. "Died He for me, who caused His pain,For me, who Him to death pursued?" Gordon happened to glance to his right again, and almost played a wrong note. Jenna continued singing. "Amazing love! How can it be, That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?" She unfastened another button. Gordon continued playing, and as the chorus approached, the third and final button of her top was swiftly unfastened. "Amazing love! How can it be, That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?" Gordon's eyes almost popped out of his head and he cleared his throat. "Go on, play a second verse!" Jenna said. He continued to play, but could feel his face burning. Jenna was singing her heart out, and seemed to be blissfully unaware that she'd suffered a wardrobe malfunction, she wasn't wearing a bra! Bloody hell, what a beautiful pair of tits, Gordon was uncomfortably hot all at once. He was no stranger to internet porn - after his divorce, porn was the only thing he could turn to in order to get a bit of relief, not that it really relieved him all that much, in fact it didn't turn him on at all anymore, he'd become impotent. Suddenly, with the young and beautiful Jenna inches away from him and, somewhat exposed, his dormant cock had surged back into life and was now straining against his underpants and trousers, "Just one more verse, Gordon! I'll give it my all." He continued playing and she resumed singing, her pale, pert breasts jiggling, inches from his face. "Oh dear God," Gordon thought to himself. What a situation to find oneself in. "Should I say something to her?" "My chains fell off, my heart was free, I rose, went forth, and followed Thee!" Jenna pretended to lose her balance. "Whoops!" She said, toppling over and putting her hand on Gordon's thigh. He jolted and played a note that was so off-key, Les Dawson would've been impressed. "Oh Gordon that was such fun! I love that hymn so much!" An embarrassed Gordon quickly rose to his feet. "Um, I'm glad. Er, would you excuse me a minute, Jenna? I need to visit the gents." Jenna struggled to hold back a giggle as he hurried off to the toilets. "He must be rock hard by now," she smirked. "Probably having a wank. I'll give him a few minutes, then I'm going in there after him." Gordon had to relieve himself more frequently these days, due to that most troublesome of male organs - the prostate. Today however, it wasn't an enlarged prostate stopping him from peeing, but a raging boner. He couldn't remember the last time he'd got as hard as this. Unfastening his belt and trousers, he slipped a hand inside his underpants and pulled out his cock. He stroked himself and wondered what to do. That Jenna - was she actually flirting with him? That was ridiculous, she was young enough to be his daughter. What woman in her right mind would want to flirt with a fat old git like him? Still, how could she not have noticed her tits were hanging out like that? It seemed so deliberate. That stunning, red-haired vixen! He couldn't hide in the toilets forever. She might come in looking to see if he was alright. He zipped up his trousers, adjusted his robe and went back into the church, Jenna was sitting on the organ stool, legs crossed, but top wide open. "There you are, Gordon. I was beginning to think you'd flushed yourself down the loo. You're not trying to avoid me are you?" Gordon blushed crimson. "W-what are you playing at? Someone might come in at any moment?" Jenna shrugged. "So what?" Whoever is sat at the organ can't be seen from the door. You have to walk right down the side aisle and come right up close. Nobody can see us. And you played the hymn so good. I just want to show my appreciation." He blinked, mesmerized. "Was I really that good?" Jenna walked over to the organist. "Better than that," she said. She looked up at Gordon with dreamy, lust filled eyes. He was about to say something, but Jenna shut him off, grabbing his neck and pulling his head down to her level. She kissed him hard on the lips. Gordon didn't resist or try to pull away. Spurred on by this, Jenna wrapped his arms round Gordon's sides and pressed her body against his. The organist struggled to stay upright for a second, but regained his balance. He lowered his head and feasted on her hardened nipples, until Jenna pushed him down onto the stool, his back to the organ. "What's that passage in the Bible, something about the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak?" Jenna teased, running her hand across his robe-covered thighs. "Uh, I just play the hymns," Gordon sighed, as her hand brushed his crotch. "You're leading me into temptation, that's all I can say. Look what you've done to me!" "I haven't started yet," Jenna smiled, lifting up his black robe, revealing black trousers. His crotch bulge was enormous. "I'm going to have fun playing THIS organ," Jenna said. She felt bolder and more in control than she had ever before, more than when she'd seduced Reverend Morris last week. She unbuckled his belt and unzipped his trousers, revealing his underwear. Gordon was wearing white y-front underpants, and his cock was straining against the fabric; a large wet spot had appeared. Jenna caressed the bulge, then carefully pulled down his damp y-fronts, revealing his painfully engorged cock. It was average in length but girthy. She began kissing his shaft, which twitched and leaked precum. Gordon gripped the sides of the stool so tight, his fingernails turned white. "Oh God,” "Gordon could you stand up for a sec? Your undies are in the way." Immediately, he did as she asked, and she pulled his underpants and trousers down to his ankles. Half an hour ago, such actions would've been unthinkable, he could barely think at all right now. All his anger and frustration and pent-up desire were released at once, when he felt Jenna's hands slip round his shaft. "That's better." Jenna said. "What a magnificent organ you have!" Sweat ran down Gordon's brow as the temptress licked the head of his cock. The taste of precum was like nectar to her tongue. He was groaning louder now, as Jenna reached his most sensitive areas. She deep throated and sucked him hard and he yelled in pleasure. His balls were so full, he feared they'd explode. "Oh Jenna, harder, more! Yes!" Gordon groaned, putting his hand on her head. She gripped his bare thighs and buried her face deeper between his legs, sucking him. His wiry grey pubes were tickling her nose. Gordon cried out in joy. Jenna withdrew, only to run her tongue around the underside of his cock. "Oh fuck, I'm coming!" Gordon yelled. He lay back, forgetting the organ was behind him, and his elbows pressed against the lower keyboard. A horrific cacophony of wrong notes filled the church, but neither he or Jenna cared. Gordon reached his peak quickly and it was impossible to stop himself. He repeated Jenna's name, over and over again, as she licked his throbbing member. He let go, feeling that intense wave of pleasure spread up from his balls and across his whole body. A huge stream of cum spurted down Jenna's throat. She swallowed the seed greedily. Cum tasted so good, and Gordon's was especially thick, tangy and delicious. A second spurt landed right between her breasts, while a third and final load sprayed right across her face, leaving her coated in the gooey, sticky essence. "Mmm, Gordon, that was the best!" She slowly licked around his cockhead, as some final drops of cum dripped out. "What on earth is Gordon doing?" Mrs. Norris wondered as she hurried to the church. The din from the organ was so bad, it could be heard in the church hall. She pulled a face and adjusted her horn-rimmed glasses. "What a dreadful noise!" Marching down the aisle, she shouted Gordon's name, but there was no way he could hear due to the deafening din of the organ. Gordon sat up on the stool and the awful noise ceased. "What a delightful mess you've made!" Jenna giggled, as his cum trickled down her face and breasts. "I, I'll get you some tissues," he gasped, still in a blissful stupor. "I really enjoyed playing your organ. Can I play it again sometime?" Gordon's heart jumped in his chest. There was going to be a next time? "Of course you can!" "Gordon, what are you doing? Ah, Oh my God! What the hell is going on in here?” "Oh shit," Gordon exclaimed as he noticed Mrs. Norris standing there. The look on her face was priceless. "What's your problem?" Jenna replied. "Have you never seen a woman playing an organ before?" Passion at the vicarage. After another boring day in her dead-end office job, Jenna was glad to be on her way home. Friday at last, thank God. And speaking of God, her smartphone had just vibrated. Rummaging in her bag, she pulled it out and smiled as she read the message. Hi Archangel Jen God's servant on Earth wondered if you'd like to spend some time with him tonight? Can't wait until Sunday. He has of you the great need and is all alone in the vicarage. L is away visiting sis until Monday. She's taken C along too. xxx R.M "Oh yes!" She said out loud. The vicarage would be more comfortable than another fuck in the vestry. Quickly, she composed a reply. Praise the Lord! Just got to go home and change into something holier, or not! will be there in half an hour. xxx Jenna got into her car. A fun night of "worship" beckoned. St Michael's vicarage was set back from the main road by the church, down a long driveway flanked by beech trees. The trees were already on the turn, ready to show off their autumn color. "Nice," Jenna mused as she admired the attractive garden. "This place is huge." It was way grander than the two bed semi where she'd grown up, and was still living at, with her parents. The cost of living crisis had meant that fleeing the nest had been put on hold. She knocked on the door. She hadn't been waiting for long, when Reverend Morris opened it, No cassock and surplice on tonight, just his "everyday vicar garb" as she termed it - black shirt, clerical collar and black trousers. "Hello Jenna." he said, his voice a little shaky with nervous excitement. He took a deep breath. She looked absolutely stunning, in a figure-hugging black dress. "Wow, um, come in. You look lovely." Jenna flashed him a winning smile. "Why thank you, Reverend! Great place you have here. Your garden's really nice." "Ah, yes it is. Not my efforts, I'm afraid. I have many volunteers who keep it looking good. After all, it's only my house for as long as I'm vicar at St Michaels." He tried not to keep staring, but it was hard not to. "Have, you eaten?" "Not really. Didn't have time. I grabbed a few biscuits on the way out." "Oh good! I was so hoping you'd say that. I thought I could cook us something. I really enjoy cooking." Jenna hadn't been expecting this. "Oh that's so nice of you." It was best to ravish the reverend on a full stomach. "What sort of stuff do you like? You're not veggie or vegan are you?" "Nope. I love my meat. I pretty much eat anything." Reverend Morris smiled. "Same here! Okay, how does fillet steak, chips, side salad and a glass of red wine sound?" "Heavenly!" "By the way, I was at the midweek hymn practice, and Gordon the organist seems to have undergone a personality transplant! I've never seen him so happy. Was he like that when you spoke to him about the choir last Sunday?" Jenna bit her lip. "Hmm, he was a little moody at first, but after I paid him a compliment, he sort of brightened up." "Blimey, whatever did you say to him? He's like a different bloke. He's bitten my head off a few times in the past." "Well," Jenna said innocently, "I thanked him for playing one of my favorite hymns, and said how much I admired his organ, er, his organ playing. I'm a big fan of Charles Wesley." "He did write some great hymns." "Umm, yes. Over 6000 hymns. And he somehow found the time to father eight children. How did he find the time?" Jenna added with a mischievous grin. Reverend Morris chuckled. "Perhaps writing hymns made him very horny!" They both laughed at this. The vicar rose from his chair. "I'd say that steak is just about ready," he said, hurrying into the kitchen. At that moment, Jenna felt her phone vibrate. Quickly, she slipped it out of her bag. Another message. Who was it this time? I have a message from Charles Wesley. He wonders if u would to see his hard, bulging hymn book. Hope 2 c u at church this Sunday. G [heart emoji] "Oh Gordon," Jenna giggled to herself, and switched the phone off. "It's hard work being such a good Christian and helping those in need." The meal was delicious, and to add to the mood, Reverend Morris had some relaxing Gregorian chant music playing in the background. Jenna had never been wined and dined like this before, and after they'd finished, felt it only right to thank the vicar for his kindness. In an instant, Jenna's lips were on his neck again, lingering, tasting him. His hands were in her hair and they were kissing, her sweet breath making him feel light, weightless even. If it was a dream, Reverend Morris never wanted it to end. This woman had awakened something in him that he couldn't quite describe. At this point, as Jenna took his hand and led him upstairs, he realized his marriage to Lucy was well and truly stone dead. The reverend's hands were at Jenna's side, unzipping then lifting the silky material of her dress slowly, over her navel, over her chest, over her head, off. Nothing could have prepared him for the sight of her breasts, round and perfect, the stuff of many a dream but beautiful beyond any imagining. His hands cupped them gently. His mouth left her lips, trailing down her neck to her chest. He took her nipple in his mouth and teased the erect tip. His hands roamed down over her arse, lavishing her smooth curves. Jenna was amazed at Reverend Morris' confident handling of her body. His sensual, hallowed hands moved over her, sending her heart racing, and she wasted no time in freeing him from his clothing. As Reverend Morris moved to lay over her, he could sense her need. It was almost as palpable as his own desire, and he was eager to satisfy them both. Jenna's hands guided his pulsating member, and at last he thrust boldly into her waiting cunt. The reverend gasped in spite of himself as his rod slid into this tight, warm pleasure hole. She held him so tightly and the sensations that coursed through his loins were beyond what he'd experienced back in the vestry a fortnight ago. Jenna's eyes rolled back as Reverend Morris' cock filled her with perfect execution. She bucked her hips up in time with his forceful thrusts, her hands gripped tightly around his shoulders. His grunts of pleasure were deep and resonant, arousing her even further. His hot shaft bore into her over and over again, gaining intensity with every thrust. Jenna began seeing flashes of light behind her eyes, and she knew that their moment was near. Moments later, they climaxed together; Jenna's cunt was filled to the brim with another load of holy spunk. "God in Heaven! I think we have sinned, a lot!" To be continued. By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

Blimey, our guest cup continues to overflow, folks. This week's Empire Podcast sees Chris Hewitt sit down with Gladiator II star, and all-round legend, Denzel Washington, to talk about reuniting with Ridley Scott, and to clarify Denzel's recent hint that he might be winding down as an actor. Oh, and Chris quotes //that// Equalizer 2 line to Denzel's face, because he's utterly without shame. [20:15 - 39:40 approx] Elsewhere, Amon Warmann has a lovely chat with Emilia Perez star, Zoe Saldaña, about working with Jacques Audiard, James Cameron, and more, [1:03:14 - 1:16:13 approx] and Alex Godfrey catches up with Sean Baker to talk about the excellent Anora, which is still in cinemas now. [1:35:53 - 1:52:19 approx] Either side of those, Chris is joined in the podbooth by Helen O'Hara, James Dyer and, for the first time, Jamie Graham, to discuss Ridley Scott's career, cast their eye over the week's movie news, including Simon Kinberg's Star Wars trilogy, the new Mission: Impossible trailer, and Christopher Nolan's Not Draclier, and review Gladiator II, Joy, and Emilia Perez. It's a banger, folks, and the only disappointment in it for us is that we only get to do it once. Enjoy.

An epic MDS this week as The Mighty Albion triumphed in a massive match with a massive noise down in Falmer. We hear from Andy Bass, Pete, Chris, Alex, Duncan, Pam, Kevin, Matt, John, Big Dave, Paul, Ian (originally) from Henfield, Sam (still) from Henfield and of course your host Russ from Enfield (I don't need an H at the start of my location!!! Memories are made of this. THESE are the days we will all look back on with fondness and WHAT a day this one was!!! Stand or fall!   UTA!  Tell him to ssshh, Jan Paul! @BrightonRockPod brightonrockpodcast@gmail.com Part of the Sport Social Podcast Network that can be found in all their glory at this rather suitable address: www.sport-social.co.uk  Please follow us for automatic downloads of new episodes and if you want to make us really happy please rate us five stars on Apple and any other platforms that provide the opportunity to do so! Why not write a review while you are at it?! ;0).  All this helps our rankings and improves our chances of getting exciting guests onto the show. Also we are now on Patreon, so if you happen to be inclined to extreme acts of generosity we'd greatly appreciate any monthly donations, great or small, to help us run the pod as well as we can. Go to www.patreon.com/BrightonRockPod for details and to sign up. NB Our content will remain freely accessible to all listeners regardless. Humble thanks! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Chapter 24 - The Wandmaker“I want to do it properly,” were the first words of which Harry was fully conscious of speaking. “Not by magic. Have you got a spade?” And shortly afterward he had set to work, alone, digging the grave in the place that Bill had shown him at the end of the garden, between bushes. He dug with a kind of fury, relishing the manual work, glorying in the non-magic of it, for every drop of his sweat and every blister felt like a gift to the elf who had saved their lives. Q1 - Why did Harry want to do this without magic?“No,” Harry said, and Bill looked startled. “I need both of them here. I need to talk to them. It's important.” He heard the authority in his own voice, the conviction, the sense of purpose that had come to him as he dug Dobby's grave. All of their faces were turned toward him, looking puzzled. Dobby would never be able to tell them who had sent him to the cellar, but Harry knew what he had seen. A piercing blue eye had looked out of the mirror fragment, and then help had come. Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.Q2 - What's the deal with the mirror?You gave Ron the Deluminator. You understood him. . . . You gave him a way back. . . . And you understood Wormtail too. . . . You knew there was a bit of regret there, somewhere. . . . And if you knew them . . . What did you know about me, Dumbledore? Am I meant to know, but not to seek? Did you know how hard I'd find that? Is that why you made it this difficult? So I'd have time to work that out?Q3 - Do you think he's right about Dumbledore here?Q4 - They're going to break into Gringotts? Are they going to succeed?“I took this wand from Draco Malfoy by force,” said Harry. “Can I use it safely?” “I think so. Subtle laws govern wand ownership, but the conquered wand will usually bend its will to its new master.” Q5 - Is Harry truly the master of Draco's wand?Yes, if you won it, it is more likely to do your bidding, and do it well, than another wand.” “And this holds true for all wands, does it?” asked Harry. “I think so,” replied Ollivander, his protuberant eyes upon Harry's face. “You ask deep questions, Mr. Potter. Wandlore is a complex and mysterious branch of magic.” “So, it isn't necessary to kill the previous owner to take true possession of a wand?” asked Harry. Ollivander swallowed. “Necessary? No, I should not say that it is necessary to kill.” Q6 - Do you think this is true? That wands can pass without killing?“You told him about the twin cores? You said he just had to borrow another wizard's wand?” Ollivander looked horrified, transfixed, by the amount that Harry knew. He nodded slowly. “But it didn't work,” Harry went on. “Mine still beat the borrowed wand. Do you know why that is?” Ollivander shook his head as slowly as he had just nodded. “I had . . . never heard of such a thing. Your wand performed something unique that night. The connection of the twin cores is incredibly rare, yet why your wand should have snapped the borrowed wand, I do not know. . . .” Q7 - Why do you think Harry's wand acted like this?“Gregorovitch had the Elder Wand a long time ago,” he said. “I saw You-Know-Who trying to find him. When he tracked him down, he found that Gregorovitch didn't have it anymore: It was stolen from him by Grindelwald. How Grindelwald found out that Gregorovitch had it, I don't know — but if Gregorovitch was stupid enough to spread the rumor, it can't have been that difficult.” Voldemort was at the gates of Hogwarts; Harry could see him standing there, and see too the lamp bobbing in the pre-dawn, coming closer and closer. “And Grindelwald used the Elder Wand to become powerful. And at the height of his power, when Dumbledore knew he was the only one who could stop him, he dueled Grindelwald and beat him, and he took the Elder Wand.” “Dumbledore had the Elder Wand?” said Ron. “But then — where is it now?” Q8 - What do you think about this?And here it was, beside the lake, reflected in the dark waters. The white marble tomb, an unnecessary blot on the familiar landscape. He felt again that rush of controlled euphoria, that heady sense of purpose in destruction. He raised the old yew wand: How fitting that this would be its last great act. The tomb split open from head to foot. The shrouded figure was as long and thin as it had been in life. He raised the wand again. The wrappings fell open. The face was translucent, pale, sunken, yet almost perfectly preserved. They had left his spectacles on the crooked nose: He felt amused derision. Dumbledore's hands were folded upon his chest, and there it lay, clutched beneath them, buried with him. Had the old fool imagined that marble or death would protect the wand? Had he thought that the Dark Lord would be scared to violate his tomb? The spiderlike hand swooped and pulled the wand from Dumbledore's grasp, and as he took it, a shower of sparks flew from its tip, sparkling over the corpse of its last owner, ready to serve a new master at last. Chapter 25 - Shell Cottage“Harry admits he could have imagined the eye! Don't you, Harry?” “I could have,” said Harry without looking at her. “But you don't think you did, do you?” asked Ron. “No, I don't,” said Harry. “There you go!” said Ron quickly, before Hermione could carry on. “If it wasn't Dumbledore, explain how Dobby knew we were in the cellar, Hermione?” “I can't — but can you explain how Dumbledore sent him to us if he's lying in a tomb at Hogwarts?”Q1 - Is Dumbledore alive?Q2 - Does the sword really belong to Goblins?Q3 - Do you think he plan will go well with Griphook?“So, au revoir, Mr. Ollivander,” said Fleur, kissing him on both cheeks. “And I wonder whezzer you could oblige me by delivering a package to Bill's Auntie Muriel? I never returned 'er tiara.” “It will be an honor,” said Ollivander with a little bow, “the very least I can do in return for your generous hospitality.” Fleur drew out a worn velvet case, which she opened to show the wandmaker. The tiara sat glittering and twinkling in the light from the low-hanging lamp. “Moonstones and diamonds,” said Griphook, who had sidled into the room without Harry noticing. “Made by goblins, I think?” Q4 - Could Danny's tiara theory be right all along?Lupin fell over the threshold. He was white-faced, wrapped in a traveling cloak, his graying hair windswept. He straightened up, looked around the room, making sure of who was there, then cried aloud, “It's a boy! We've named him Ted, after Dora's father!” Hermione shrieked. “Wha — ? Tonks — Tonks has had the baby?” “Yes, yes, she's had the baby!” shouted Lupin. All around the table came cries of delight, sighs of relief: Hermione and Fleur both squealed, “Congratulations!” and Ron said, “Blimey, a baby!” as if he had never heard of such a thing before. “Yes — yes — a boy,” said Lupin again, who seemed dazed by his own happiness. He strode around the table and hugged Harry; the scene in the basement of Grimmauld Place might never have happened. “You'll be godfather?” he said as he released Harry. “M-me?” stammered Harry “You, yes, of course — Dora quite agrees, no one better —” “I — yeah — blimey —” Q5 - What do you think about Lupin and Tonks having a baby?Harry had an ominous feeling now; he wondered whether Bill guessed more than he was letting on. “All I am saying,” said Bill, setting his hand on the door back into the sitting room, “is to be very careful what you promise goblins, Harry. It would be less dangerous to break into Gringotts than to renege on a promise to a goblin.” Q6 - Are they dumb to trust Griphook?Chapter 26 - Gringotts“I hate this thing,” she said in a low voice. “I really hate it. It feels all wrong, it doesn't work properly for me. . . . It's like a bit of her.” “It'll probably help you get in character, though,” said Ron. “Think what that wand's done!” “But that's my point!” said Hermione. “This is the wand that tortured Neville's mum and dad, and who knows how many other people? This is the wand that killed Sirius!” Q1 - Should they snap this wand in two?Harry looked down at the hawthorn wand that had once belonged to Draco Malfoy. He had been surprised, but pleased, to discover that it worked for him at least as well as Hermione's had done. Remembering what Ollivander had told them of the secret workings of wands, Harry thought he knew what Hermione's problem was: She had not won the walnut wand's allegiance by taking it personally from Bellatrix. Q2 - Is this true?He realized now that they could hardly have laid Dobby to rest in a more beautiful place, but Harry ached with sadness to think of leaving him behind. Looking down on the grave, he wondered yet again how the elf had known where to come to rescue them. His fingers moved absentmindedly to the little pouch still strung around his neck, through which he could feel the jagged mirror fragment in which he had been sure he had seen Dumbledore's eye. Then the sound of a door opening made him look around. Q3 - Any further theories on who sent Dobby?“They know!” whispered Griphook in Harry's ear. “They must have been warned there might be an impostor!” “Your wand will do, madam,” said the goblin. He held out a slightly trembling hand, and in a dreadful blast of realization Harry knew that the goblins of Gringotts were aware that Bellatrix's wand had been stolen. “Act now, act now,” whispered Griphook in Harry's ear, “the Imperius Curse!” Harry raised the hawthorn wand beneath the cloak, pointed it at the old goblin, and whispered, for the first time in his life, “Imperio!” Q4 - What do you think about Harry using the Imperius curse?Q5 - Is Travers going to permanently be in a crack in the wall in Gringotts?Q6 - What do you think of all the enchantments at Gringotts?“Harry, could this be — ? Aargh!” Hermione screamed in pain, and Harry turned his wand on her in time to see a jeweled goblet tumbling from her grip. But as it fell, it split, became a shower of goblets, so that a second later, with a great clatter, the floor was covered in identical cups rolling in every direction, the original impossible to discern amongst them. “It burned me!” moaned Hermione, sucking her blistered fingers. “They have added Gemino and Flagrante Curses!” said Griphook. “Everything you touch will burn and multiply, but the copies are worthless — and if you continue to handle the treasure, you will eventually be crushed to death by the weight of expanding gold!” Q7 - What do you think about this?The tiny golden cup, skewered by the handle on the sword's blade, was flung into the air. The goblin still astride him, Harry dived and caught it, and although he could feel it scalding his flesh he did not relinquish it, even while countless Hufflepuff cups burst from his fist.Q8 - Do they have the cup?Q9 - How do you like their dragon heist?Chapter 27 - The Final Hiding Place“Well, on the upside,” said Ron finally, who was sitting watching the skin on his hands regrow, “we got the Horcrux. On the downside —” “— no sword,” said Harry through gritted teeth, as he dripped dittany through the singed hole in his jeans onto the angry burn beneath. Q1 - How will they destroy this Horcrux?The sky, the smell of lake water, the sound of Ron's voice were extinguished: Pain cleaved Harry's head like a sword stroke. He was standing in a dimly lit room, and a semicircle of wizards faced him, and on the floor at his feet knelt a small, quaking figure. “What did you say to me?” His voice was high and cold, but fury and fear burned inside him. The one thing he had dreaded — but it could not be true, he could not see how . . . The goblin was trembling, unable to meet the red eyes high above his. “Say it again!” murmured Voldemort. “Say it again!” “M-my Lord,” stammered the goblin, its black eyes wide with terror, “m-my Lord . . . we t-tried t-to st-stop them. . . . Im-impostors, my Lord . . . broke — broke into the — into the Lestranges' v-vault. . . .” “Impostors? What impostors? I thought Gringotts had ways of revealing impostors? Who were they?” “It was . . . it was . . . the P-Potter b-boy and t-two accomplices. . . .” “And they took?” he said, his voice rising, a terrible fear gripping him. “Tell me! What did they take?” “A . . . a s-small golden c-cup, m-my Lord . . .” The scream of rage, of denial left him as if it were a stranger's: He was crazed, frenzied, it could not be true, it was impossible, nobody had ever known: How was it possible that the boy could have discovered his secret? Q2 - What do you think of this?But surely if the boy had destroyed any of his Horcruxes, he, Lord Voldemort, would have known, would have felt it?Q3 - So has Voldemort not felt these horcruxes being destroyed?But he must know, he must be sure. . . . He paced the room, kicking aside the goblin's corpse as he passed, and the pictures blurred and burned in his boiling brain: the lake, the shack, and Hogwarts —Q4 - Where at Hogwarts?As for the school: He alone knew where in Hogwarts he had stowed the Horcrux, because he alone had plumbed the deepest secrets of that place. . . . And there was still Nagini, who must remain close now, no longer sent to do his bidding, under his protection. . . . Q5 - If Voldemort is checking the hiding places, how much time do the trio have?“But how are we going to get in?” “We'll go to Hogsmeade,” said Harry, “and try to work something out once we see what the protection around the school's like. Get under the Cloak, Hermione, I want to stick together this time.” “But we don't really fit —” “It'll be dark, no one's going to notice our feet.” The flapping of enormous wings echoed across the black water: The dragon had drunk its fill and risen into the air. They paused in their preparations to watch it climb higher and higher, now black against the rapidly darkening sky, until it vanished over a nearby mountain. Then Hermione walked forward and took her place between the other two. Harry pulled the Cloak down as far as it would go, and together they turned on the spot into the crushing darkness.Chapter 28 - The Missing MirrorHe raised his wand: He could not, would not, suffer the Dementor's Kiss, whatever happened afterward. It was of Ron and Hermione that he thought as he whispered, “Expecto Patronum!” Q1 - Should they have planned this a little better?Ron gasped. “The silver doe!” he said excitedly. “Was that you too?” “What are you talking about?” said Aberforth. “Someone sent a doe Patronus to us!” “Brains like that, you could be a Death Eater, son. Haven't I just proved my Patronus is a goat?” “Oh,” said Ron. “Yeah . . . well, I'm hungry!” he added defensively as his stomach gave an enormous rumble“My brother Albus wanted a lot of things,” said Aberforth, “and people had a habit of getting hurt while he was carrying out his grand plans. You get away from this school, Potter, and out of the country if you can. Forget my brother and his clever schemes. He's gone where none of this can hurt him, and you don't owe him anything.”Q2 - Is Aberforth a reliable story teller? “It destroyed her, what they did: She was never right again. She wouldn't use magic, but she couldn't get rid of it; it turned inward and drove her mad, it exploded out of her when she couldn't control it, and at times she was strange and dangerous. But mostly she was sweet and scared and harmless. Q3 - What do you think this looks like?But he did all right for a few weeks . . . till he came.” And now a positively dangerous look crept over Aberforth's face. “Grindelwald. And at last, my brother had an equal to talk to, someone just as bright and talented as he was. And looking after Ariana took a backseat then, while they were hatching all their plans for a new Wizarding order, and looking for Hallows, and whatever else it was they were so interested in. Grand plans for the benefit of all Wizardkind, and if one young girl got neglected, what did that matter, when Albus was working for the greater good? He got angry. He told me what a stupid little boy I was, trying to stand in the way of him and my brilliant brother. . . . Didn't I understand, my poor sister wouldn't have to be hidden once they'd changed the world, and led the wizards out of hiding, and taught the Muggles their place? Q4 - What do you think of Grindewald now?“He was never free,” said Harry. “I beg your pardon?” said Aberforth. “Never,” said Harry. “The night that your brother died, he drank a potion that drove him out of his mind. He started screaming, pleading with someone who wasn't there. ‘Don't hurt them, please . . . hurt me instead.'” Q5 - Do you think Dumbledore really never forgave himself?“Because,” said Harry before Hermione could answer, “sometimes you've got to think about more than your own safety! Sometimes you've got to think about the greater good! This is war!” “You're seventeen, boy!” “I'm of age, and I'm going to keep fighting even if you've given up!” “Who says I've given up?” “‘The Order of the Phoenix is finished,'” Harry repeated. “‘YouKnow-Who's won, it's over, and anyone who's pretending different's kidding themselves.'” “I don't say I like it, but it's the truth!” “No, it isn't,” said Harry. “Your brother knew how to finish YouKnow-Who and he passed the knowledge on to me. I'm going to keep going until I succeed — or I die. Don't think I don't know how this might end. I've known it for years.” Q6 - What do you think of this whole story?Q7 - How will this end?

Chapter 21 - The Tale of the Three Brothers“ ‘There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight —' ” “Midnight, our mum always told us,” said Ron, who had stretched out, arms behind his head, to listen. Hermione shot him a look of annoyance.We are talking about a cloak that really and truly renders the wearer completely invisible, and endures eternally, giving constant and impenetrable concealment, no matter what spells are cast at it. How many cloaks have you ever seen like that, Miss Granger?” Hermione opened her mouth to answer, then closed it again, looking more confused than ever. She, Harry, and Ron glanced at one another, and Harry knew that they were all thinking the same thing. It so happened that a cloak exactly like the one Xenophilius had just described was in the room with them at that very moment. Q1 - Do you think Harry's cloak could be one of the Hallows?Q2 - If it exists, where do you think the Resurrection stone is?“So where do you think the Elder Wand is now?” asked Ron. “Alas, who knows?” said Xenophilius, as he gazed out of the window.Q3 - If it exists, where is the wand?“It's just a morality tale, it's obvious which gift is best, which one you'd choose —” The three of them spoke at the same time; Hermione said, “the Cloak,” Ron said, “the wand,” and Harry said, “the stone.” They looked at each other, half surprised, half amused. Q4 - Which is the best?Harry held out his left hand. Ron vanished beneath the Cloak. The printing press blocking the stairs was vibrating: Xenophilius was trying to shift it using a Hover Charm. Harry did not know what Hermione was waiting for. “Hold tight,” she whispered. “Hold tight . . . any second . . .” Xenophilius's paper-white face appeared over the top of the sideboard. “Obliviate!” cried Hermione, pointing her wand first into his face, then at the floor beneath them. “Deprimo!” She had blasted a hole in the sitting room floor. They fell like boulders, Harry still holding onto her hand for dear life; there was a scream from below, and he glimpsed two men trying to get out of the way as vast quantities of rubble and broken furniture rained all around them from the shattered ceiling. Hermione twisted in midair and the thundering of the collapsing house rang in Harry's ears as she dragged him once more into darkness. Q5 - What is Hermione doing here?Chapter 22 - The Deathly Hallows“Then she'll be in Azkaban, I expect,” said Ron. “Whether she survives the place, though . . . Loads don't. . . .” “She will,” said Harry. He could not bear to contemplate the alternative. “She's tough, Luna, much tougher than you'd think. She's probably teaching all the inmates about Wrackspurts and Nargles.” Q1 - Who could survive Azkaban the best out of everyone we've met?“Yes . . . and that's all very interesting,” said Hermione cautiously, “but Harry, if you're thinking what I think you're think —” “Well, why not? Why not?” said Harry, abandoning caution. “It was a stone, wasn't it?” He looked at Ron for support. “What if it was the Resurrection Stone?” Ron's mouth fell open. “Blimey — but would it still work if Dumbledore broke — ?”Q2 - Do you think that the stone is the ring?And he saw himself, possessor of the Hallows, facing Voldemort, whose Horcruxes were no match . . . Neither can live while the other survives. . . . Was this the answer? Hallows versus Horcruxes? Was there a way, after all, to ensure that he was the one who triumphed? If he were the master of the Deathly Hallows, would he be safe? Q3 - What do you think of Harry's questions here?He turned his back on their strained, incredulous faces. He knew it was the truth. It all made sense. Voldemort was not seeking a new wand; he was seeking an old wand, a very old wand indeed. Harry walked to the entrance of the tent, forgetting about Ron and Hermione as he looked out into the night, thinking. . . . “Harry, this isn't a game, this isn't practice! This is the real thing, and Dumbledore left you very clear instructions: Find and destroy the Horcruxes! That symbol doesn't mean anything, forget the Deathly Hallows, we can't afford to get sidetracked —” Q4 - What did Dumbledore want?“But before we hear from Royal and Romulus,” Lee went on, “let's take a moment to report those deaths that the Wizarding Wireless Network News and Daily Prophet don't think important enough to mention. It is with great regret that we inform our listeners of the murders of Ted Tonks and Dirk Cresswell.” “I'd tell him we're all with him in spirit,” said Lupin, then hesitated slightly. “And I'd tell him to follow his instincts, which are good and nearly always right.” Q5 - Are Harry's instincts always right?“And the rumors that he keeps being sighted abroad?” asked Lee. “Well, who wouldn't want a nice little holiday after all the hard work he's been putting in?” asked Fred. “Point is, people, don't get lulled into a false sense of security, thinking he's out of the country. Maybe he is, maybe he isn't, but the fact remains he can move faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo when he wants to, so don't count on him being a long way away if you're planning on taking any risks. I never thought I'd hear myself say it, but safety first!” Chapter 23 - Malfoy ManorQ1 - How unfortunate is the end of the last chapter and this one?“Like 'ell you are,” said the man called Scabior. “We know Stan Shunpike, 'e's put a bit of work our way.”Q2 - Is Stan actually bad?The emaciated figure stirred beneath its thin blanket and rolled over toward him, eyes opening in a skull of a face. . . . The frail man sat up, great sunken eyes fixed upon him, upon Voldemort, and then he smiled. Most of his teeth were gone. . . . “So, you have come. I thought you would . . . one day. But your journey was pointless. I never had it.” “You lie!” Q3 - What does he mean that he never had it?Q4  - Why doesn't Draco identify them here?She stopped struggling, her dark eyes fixed upon something Harry could not see. Jubilant at her capitulation, Lucius threw her hand from him and ripped up his own sleeve — “STOP!” shrieked Bellatrix. “Do not touch it, we shall all perish if the Dark Lord comes now!” Q5 - Why is Bella so freaked out?Hermione's screams echoed off the walls upstairs, Ron was half sobbing as he pounded the walls with his fists, and Harry in utter desperation seized Hagrid's pouch from around his neck and groped inside it: He pulled out Dumbledore's Snitch and shook it, hoping for he did not know what — nothing happened — he waved the broken halves of the phoenix wand, but they were lifeless — the mirror fragment fell sparkling to the floor, and he saw a gleam of brightest blue — Dumbledore's eye was gazing at him out of the mirror. “Help us!” he yelled at it in mad desperation. “We're in the cellar of Malfoy Manor, help us!” The eye blinked and was gone. Q6 - What was going on there?“Kill me, then, Voldemort, I welcome death! But my death will not bring you what you seek. . . . There is so much you do not understand. . . .” Q7 - What does Voldemort not understand?Harry could barely breathe. “You're going to kill me?” Harry choked, attempting to prise off the metal fingers. “After I saved your life? You owe me, Wormtail!” The silver fingers slackened. Harry had not expected it: He wrenched himself free, astonished, keeping his hand over Wormtail's mouth. He saw the ratlike man's small watery eyes widen with fear and surprise: He seemed just as shocked as Harry at what his hand had done, at the tiny, merciful impulse it had betrayed, and he continued to struggle more powerfully, as though to undo that moment of weakness. “And we'll have that,” whispered Ron, tugging Wormtail's wand from his other hand. Wandless, helpless, Pettigrew's pupils dilated in terror. His eyes had slid from Harry's face to something else. His own silver fingers were moving inexorably toward his own throat. “No —” Without pausing to think, Harry tried to drag back the hand, but there was no stopping it. The silver tool that Voldemort had given his most cowardly servant had turned upon its disarmed and useless owner; Pettigrew was reaping his reward for his hesitation, his moment of pity; he was being strangled before their eyes. Q8 - Poetic justice here? What do you think about Harry trying to save Pettigrew?At the last word there was a peculiar grinding noise from above. All of them looked upward in time to see the crystal chandelier tremble; then, with a creak and an ominous jingling, it began to fall. Bellatrix was directly beneath it; dropping Hermione, she threw herself aside with a scream. The chandelier crashed to the floor in an explosion of crystal and chains, falling on top of Hermione and the goblin, who still clutched the sword of Gryffindor. Glittering shards of crystal flew in all directions: Draco doubled over, his hands covering his bloody face. As Ron ran to pull Hermione out of the wreckage, Harry took his chance: He leapt over an armchair and wrested the three wands from Draco's grip, pointed all of them at Greyback, and yelled, “Stupefy!” The werewolf was lifted off his feet by the triple spell, flew up to the ceiling, and then smashed to the ground. Q9 - Does triple wand power work greater?The tiny elf trotted into the room, his shaking finger pointing at his old mistress. “You must not hurt Harry Potter,” he squeaked. “Kill him, Cissy!” shrieked Bellatrix, but there was another loud crack, and Narcissa's wand too flew into the air and landed on the other side of the room. “You dirty little monkey!” bawled Bellatrix. “How dare you take a witch's wand, how dare you defy your masters?” “Dobby has no master!” squealed the elf. “Dobby is a free elf, and Dobby has come to save Harry Potter and his friends!”“Dobby, no, don't die, don't die —” The elf's eyes found him, and his lips trembled with the effort to form words. “Harry . . . Potter . . .” And then with a little shudder the elf became quite still, and his eyes were nothing more than great glassy orbs, sprinkled with light from the stars they could not see. Q10 - Raise a glass to Dobby

A topical podcast! Blimey! As it is Halloween why not have a little think about why Doctor Who is scary, and why that is comehow acceptable for children. What is it about us that has a need to be frightened, and why does this siully show have such a repuation for scares? Happy Halloween - hopefully this podcast is a treat rather that a trick. #doctorwho #doctorwhoreaction #doctorwhocommentary #doctorwhocomedian #tobyhadoke #doctorwhofacts #positivedoctorwho #classicdoctorwho Please support these podcasts on Patreon, where you will get advance releases, exclusive content (including a patron-only podcast - Far Too Much Information), regular AMAs and more. Tiers start from as little as £3 per month: patreon.com/tobyhadoke  Or there is Ko-fi for the occasional donation with no commitments: ko-fi.com/tobyhadoke Follow Toby on Twitter: @tobyhadoke And these podcasts: @HadokePodcasts And his comedy club: @xsmalarkey   www.tobyhadoke.com for news, blog, mailing list and more.  

You would never think Keir Starmer's party had just won a landslide victory. Blimey! Help us take on the right-wing media here: https://www.patreon.com/owenjones84Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/the-owen-jones-podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The episode where a big bald man has a big bald knife. Are Polly and Ben cave enthusiasts or beach enthusiasts? On this podcast, our spirit rides, aye, in the dark souls of those that follow in our wake! This episode was recorded on 10 August 2024. Email us at thedoctorswatcher@gmail.com. Follow us on Tumblr at the-doctors-watcher. I guess we still have a Twitter or whatever. Check out Circuit 23's music at http://soundcloud.com/circuit23 and email him at circuit.23@gmail.com. Listen to his album “Mens Vermis” at https://circuit23.bandcamp.com/album/mens-vermis.

Jonathan Clements has written a number of histories of East Asia. His latest, Rebel Island, is a history of Taiwan from the earliest times up to today. If you have any interest in the history of the region this book is an absolute must read. And while it is a serious and meticulously researched history it is also genuinely gripping with 'Blimey! I didn't know that!' moments on every other page. Really terrific stuff.We ran rather long so I split it into two parts. Part 1 takes us all the way up to the eve of the arrival of the Japanese who established it as a colony in 1895. Jonathan was a hugely entertaining and enthusiastic guest and the depth of his learning really shines through.And do check out Jonathan's blog, the eccentrically named Schoolgirl Milky Crisis. Full of fascinating history and, indeed, reviews of Finnish cinema!

Blimey! For the first time in Media Made history, we're looking back two British shows in a single episode! First, we segue once again into the world of web entertainment with one of YouTube's earliest success stories, Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series. Then, we examine the quirky, nerd-focused sitcom throwback The IT Crowd. This is an episode for all you STANDARD NERDS out there. Content Warning: Sexual Content, Discussions of Racial Insensitivity Follow us on Twitter: @MediaMadeShow Follow us on Instagram: @mediamadeshow Buy us a coffee: https://ko-fi.com/mediamade Check out our links: linktr.ee/mediamade

David Waldman joined our sad lot who watched the first debate. Although with a little bit of space David decided that the debate wasn't the worst that could be imagined. Greg Dworkin filled his Raft O' Stories™ at ports around the world to reveal what we (hopefully) have in common. Sacre bleu! France blocked the takeover by their far right, even when it meant sacrificing their own to do it. Blimey! The British rejected its right wing as well, even if they couldn't accept a Prime Minister who looks like John Oliver portraying Thurston Howell III. Around the world, Gen X drives the right, but the rest of us are wising up to the ultraright takeover. How about the U.S. of A., land of the free, home of the brave? The more people learn about Project 2025 the less they like it. Which is why Donald Trump will let the states… or the federal government decide… or the Supreme Court, who cares? Whatever exonerates him the most. Donald will have people to take care of that, and you. But, what about Joe? And/or Kamala? Well, buck up buttercups, Biden's back, baby.

The Busty Truckdriver in 1960s France.By Slowandeasy47. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.The bigger adventure now began. School finished and college not starting until October, two and a half months to find out as much as I could about life and have some serious fun.I had started my long break by visiting my Tante Marise in her French chateau. She had taught me a lot, and introduced me to the joys of assisted showering, a pleasure that I have enjoyed throughout my life. As a French lady, she saw my typical Brit uptightness about human sexuality, and helped me about as much as a proper relative is allowed to. Where to go next and what to do had been the two big questions. In the 1960s travel to far off lands was not really one of my options, so I decided to head for the beaches of the northern Spanish Mediterranian coast, commonly called the Riviera. Here I could live cheaply, enjoy the weather and get a proper sun tan.Travel by air, with a tour company, was way outside my budget, but a friend had given me his hints and tips for hitch hiking long distances and now, I was in northern France planning an 800 mile hitchhike to Barcelona, or actually anywhere nearby.Barcelona had the attraction of being in a straight line from my starting point at Tante Marise's and the direct route was via only two roads so, with a bit of luck maybe, just maybe, only one or two changes of lift.My first lift was a little disappointing as it didn't even get me to Paris but the driver was pleasant enough and chatty. I supposed that life on the road could be pretty lonely and he was enjoying the company.My next was more fruitful. It was a familiar-looking British lorry which pulled up with a hiss of airbrakes and the driver, being on the rightside door as all U K vehicles are situated; directed me round to the passenger side. To us Brits, everyone else was, of course, on the wrong side, now that we were in France.As the passenger door swung open a cheery female voice from the depths of the cab hailed me with,"Hop in sweetheart."I grabbed the handrail, put my foot on the step, and swung myself & my duffle in."Where you off to then?" She enquired as I stowed my bag under my legs & settled myself into the seat."Barcelona, or somewhere near there." I replied, taking stock of my new surroundings. My chauffeur was very obviously female, if the voice hadn't give her away the sight of her jiggly bust certainly did. She wore her bleached blond hair somewhat short, her tee-shirt somewhat tight around the rocking tits, and faded denim cutoffs. I guessed she was about thirty and she had a cheeky impish grin."So 'ow long you going for?""I don't have to be back until October to start university classes.""Blimey, nice work if you can get it!" and she shot me a smile that formed alluring dimples on her cheeks.“Speaking of work,” I ventured a question.. “You're the first female trucker I've ever encountered? How's that working out?”“My pop owns the truckline, so when they had a driver shortage, I made my pitch and showed him how well I handle a rig.” “How'd you learn?” I asked.“Most of my teen years were spent working the weekend freight dock, and on the slow shifts I'd practice driving when no one was around.” She explained.The next several hundred kilometers passed in getting to know each other. Gilly was her name. She loved life on the road, often did the same runs up and down through France, knew all the best stops and frequently picked up hitchhikers for the chat and to pass the hours."So off for the three-S holiday are we?""The three S?" I said quizzically."Yep, the three S. Do you know you can tell someone's age by their three esses?""Sorry, I'm not with you.""Right I'll tell you, you just complete the third S with the first thing that comes into your head, OK?""OK!""Sun, sea and?""Sand!"This reply was met with about the dirtiest sounding laugh I have ever heard in my life!"OK, you're about eight years old! Sun sea and sand!" More laughter, "Let's try again. Sun, sea and?""Sangria?""Getting better, much better, but still not there. One more try."I am now getting nervous. The only other S I can think of is sex and I was certainly not going to say that out loud to this lady I'd only just met. She's good company and I don't want to get put out in the middle of nowhere."Sun sea and?" Came the question again. My mind was racing for an escape route and I suddenly found it."How many letters?" She took one hand off the wheel and started turning her fingers down one by one as she counted."Eight." Phew, so it wasn't sex. You cannot believe how relieved I was that I hadn't said it, but eight? I racked my brains, but even sangria was only seven."I Give up." I admitted. Her reply stunned my into silence. I could hardly believe my ears."Shagging! Shagging of course. Sun, sea, and shagging. Isn't that why all you students head for the Costas?" My week mumblings were incoherent and never meant to be heard anyway. Gilly, with the ashen blond hair, tight T shirt and filthy laugh had just said 'Shagging'!"Come on now." She said placing one hand on my knee for a few seconds and flashing me her beguiling smile, dimples and all. "Don't tell me I'm wrong.”"Look, I bet you a quid that I'd find johnnies in your ruck sack? But I'm not giving you the quid unless you let me check. There are johnnies in your pack aren't there?"This was getting out of hand. This busty & fit lady had just put her hand on my knee, flashed me a smile and boxed me into a corner."You win." I said reluctantly."Knew it. Sun, sea and shagging! Well a good looking lad like you shouldn't have much trouble feasting on the roast chicken beaches." Again, the smile with the dimples."Roast chicken beaches?" I wanted to know what she meant but didn't want to appear as naive as I was."Yea, you know. All those bikini-clad girls sunbathing all day and, like a roast chicken, yet all the best bits are white!" Another pat on the knee accompanied by a chortle or two of that dirty laugh."That is unless you go to Playa Mar Bella, where every one is the same colour all over because they don't wear anything."I am now having trouble controlling the cinema in my head. Nudist beaches, I hadn't even thought about that. I had only ever seen one naked woman in my life and the pictures floating through my mind were starting to cause problems in my trousers. On a nudist beach I would certainly get an erection and what to do then?"I think I'd better stick to normal beaches." I muttered weakly."Not sure you could cope with all those naked bums and tits, eh? I have to say it's a bit of a surprise the first time." The first time? Is Gilly telling me she goes to nudist beaches? Displays those magnificent tits to the world, not to mention her pussy. Shit, I must stop thinking about Gilly naked, it's getting difficult. A few more miles rolled past."OK, time for a game of Truth or Dare. Obviously the dares are going to be limited but if you don't want to answer you just pay a forfeit. You start."I can only remember the key questions. We started off simply enough just asking slightly more probing questions than you would in normal conversation when she asked me."Truth or dare?""Truth.""What's the most embarrassing moment of your life?" Shit! I thought."Do I have to answer.""Of course, that's the game, unless you want to pay a forfeit and my forfeits are quite challenging.""Well, a couple of years ago I barged in to my parent's bedroom. They were both naked, on top of the bed and 'doing it'."The dirty laugh just got dirtier, "I bet that put them off their stride. Shit, embarrassing all round. OK, your turn, I'll go for truth.""What body part are you most proud of?" Expecting an evasive answer."My tits of course! Aren't they great? You've hardly taken your eyes off them for the last hundred miles. My turn. Where did you loose your virginity.""Um, er, well, er......""Are you trying to say it hasn't happened yet?""Er yes.""Jeepers, cooped up in a cab for hundreds of miles with a virgin. No wonder you can't take your eyes of my tits! Your go.""How old were you when you first had sex?""Oh that's easy. Old enough to know better, young enough not to care!" More dirty laughter, "It was at my birthday party, the night I became 'old enough to know better'. There was a boy I'd fancied for ages, we'd snogged before, but I took him up to my room. My turn. If you were a girl for a day what would you do?"I was getting much more comfortable with the company of this wonderful woman. She was so open and seemed so worldly wise. Before I could really think of the answer my mouth said."Find a nice boy and take him up to my room.""Great answer! He was fun, but very inexperienced. It didn't last long. He got the Johnny on, put it in, moved up and down a couple of times and made a noise that left me in no doubt that it was all over. Not exactly the Karma Sutra but it got the job done."I can hardly believe my ears. This woman had just described her first sexual experience to me without batting an eye lid. The sixties were definitely a liberating decade.Then we pulled off the road to a Routier. Parked up in a diagonal line with lots of other lorries."That's it for today. Let's eat."We walked over to the building and as I followed her I couldn't help but notice how the tight denim cutoff shorts clung to her very alluring bum, which wobbled in a truly delightful way. Her trucker's wallet flapped around, protruding from her right butt pocket.They served delicious food, at a fixed price, with a glass of wine and I noticed with relief that they also had rooms also at very reasonable prices. After the meal I got up and walked towards reception."Where are you off to?""Get a room.""Well, if you want to save some money and you promise to be good, you can kip down in the cab. It'll be cosy, but cheap. I get the bunk, but the seats all fold forwards and you can put your mat across them. Your decision."I must have looked like a goldfish gasping for air. This very attractive lady with stunning tits and an attractive bum, comfortable enough in her own skin to talk freely about sex to a lad she'd never met, was offering to let me share her cab. I was very naive back then!We made use of the facilities and went back to the cab to natter and find some tunes on the radio. Eventually it was time to call it a day and I spread my camping mat over the folded down seat backs.

The Busty Truckdriver in 1960s France.By Slowandeasy47. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.The bigger adventure now began. School finished and college not starting until October, two and a half months to find out as much as I could about life and have some serious fun.I had started my long break by visiting my Tante Marise in her French chateau. She had taught me a lot, and introduced me to the joys of assisted showering, a pleasure that I have enjoyed throughout my life. As a French lady, she saw my typical Brit uptightness about human sexuality, and helped me about as much as a proper relative is allowed to. Where to go next and what to do had been the two big questions. In the 1960s travel to far off lands was not really one of my options, so I decided to head for the beaches of the northern Spanish Mediterranian coast, commonly called the Riviera. Here I could live cheaply, enjoy the weather and get a proper sun tan.Travel by air, with a tour company, was way outside my budget, but a friend had given me his hints and tips for hitch hiking long distances and now, I was in northern France planning an 800 mile hitchhike to Barcelona, or actually anywhere nearby.Barcelona had the attraction of being in a straight line from my starting point at Tante Marise's and the direct route was via only two roads so, with a bit of luck maybe, just maybe, only one or two changes of lift.My first lift was a little disappointing as it didn't even get me to Paris but the driver was pleasant enough and chatty. I supposed that life on the road could be pretty lonely and he was enjoying the company.My next was more fruitful. It was a familiar-looking British lorry which pulled up with a hiss of airbrakes and the driver, being on the rightside door as all U K vehicles are situated; directed me round to the passenger side. To us Brits, everyone else was, of course, on the wrong side, now that we were in France.As the passenger door swung open a cheery female voice from the depths of the cab hailed me with,"Hop in sweetheart."I grabbed the handrail, put my foot on the step, and swung myself & my duffle in."Where you off to then?" She enquired as I stowed my bag under my legs & settled myself into the seat."Barcelona, or somewhere near there." I replied, taking stock of my new surroundings. My chauffeur was very obviously female, if the voice hadn't give her away the sight of her jiggly bust certainly did. She wore her bleached blond hair somewhat short, her tee-shirt somewhat tight around the rocking tits, and faded denim cutoffs. I guessed she was about thirty and she had a cheeky impish grin."So 'ow long you going for?""I don't have to be back until October to start university classes.""Blimey, nice work if you can get it!" and she shot me a smile that formed alluring dimples on her cheeks.“Speaking of work,” I ventured a question.. “You're the first female trucker I've ever encountered? How's that working out?”“My pop owns the truckline, so when they had a driver shortage, I made my pitch and showed him how well I handle a rig.” “How'd you learn?” I asked.“Most of my teen years were spent working the weekend freight dock, and on the slow shifts I'd practice driving when no one was around.” She explained.The next several hundred kilometers passed in getting to know each other. Gilly was her name. She loved life on the road, often did the same runs up and down through France, knew all the best stops and frequently picked up hitchhikers for the chat and to pass the hours."So off for the three-S holiday are we?""The three S?" I said quizzically."Yep, the three S. Do you know you can tell someone's age by their three esses?""Sorry, I'm not with you.""Right I'll tell you, you just complete the third S with the first thing that comes into your head, OK?""OK!""Sun, sea and?""Sand!"This reply was met with about the dirtiest sounding laugh I have ever heard in my life!"OK, you're about eight years old! Sun sea and sand!" More laughter, "Let's try again. Sun, sea and?""Sangria?""Getting better, much better, but still not there. One more try."I am now getting nervous. The only other S I can think of is sex and I was certainly not going to say that out loud to this lady I'd only just met. She's good company and I don't want to get put out in the middle of nowhere."Sun sea and?" Came the question again. My mind was racing for an escape route and I suddenly found it."How many letters?" She took one hand off the wheel and started turning her fingers down one by one as she counted."Eight." Phew, so it wasn't sex. You cannot believe how relieved I was that I hadn't said it, but eight? I racked my brains, but even sangria was only seven."I Give up." I admitted. Her reply stunned my into silence. I could hardly believe my ears."Shagging! Shagging of course. Sun, sea, and shagging. Isn't that why all you students head for the Costas?" My week mumblings were incoherent and never meant to be heard anyway. Gilly, with the ashen blond hair, tight T shirt and filthy laugh had just said 'Shagging'!"Come on now." She said placing one hand on my knee for a few seconds and flashing me her beguiling smile, dimples and all. "Don't tell me I'm wrong.”"Look, I bet you a quid that I'd find johnnies in your ruck sack? But I'm not giving you the quid unless you let me check. There are johnnies in your pack aren't there?"This was getting out of hand. This busty & fit lady had just put her hand on my knee, flashed me a smile and boxed me into a corner."You win." I said reluctantly."Knew it. Sun, sea and shagging! Well a good looking lad like you shouldn't have much trouble feasting on the roast chicken beaches." Again, the smile with the dimples."Roast chicken beaches?" I wanted to know what she meant but didn't want to appear as naive as I was."Yea, you know. All those bikini-clad girls sunbathing all day and, like a roast chicken, yet all the best bits are white!" Another pat on the knee accompanied by a chortle or two of that dirty laugh."That is unless you go to Playa Mar Bella, where every one is the same colour all over because they don't wear anything."I am now having trouble controlling the cinema in my head. Nudist beaches, I hadn't even thought about that. I had only ever seen one naked woman in my life and the pictures floating through my mind were starting to cause problems in my trousers. On a nudist beach I would certainly get an erection and what to do then?"I think I'd better stick to normal beaches." I muttered weakly."Not sure you could cope with all those naked bums and tits, eh? I have to say it's a bit of a surprise the first time." The first time? Is Gilly telling me she goes to nudist beaches? Displays those magnificent tits to the world, not to mention her pussy. Shit, I must stop thinking about Gilly naked, it's getting difficult. A few more miles rolled past."OK, time for a game of Truth or Dare. Obviously the dares are going to be limited but if you don't want to answer you just pay a forfeit. You start."I can only remember the key questions. We started off simply enough just asking slightly more probing questions than you would in normal conversation when she asked me."Truth or dare?""Truth.""What's the most embarrassing moment of your life?" Shit! I thought."Do I have to answer.""Of course, that's the game, unless you want to pay a forfeit and my forfeits are quite challenging.""Well, a couple of years ago I barged in to my parent's bedroom. They were both naked, on top of the bed and 'doing it'."The dirty laugh just got dirtier, "I bet that put them off their stride. Shit, embarrassing all round. OK, your turn, I'll go for truth.""What body part are you most proud of?" Expecting an evasive answer."My tits of course! Aren't they great? You've hardly taken your eyes off them for the last hundred miles. My turn. Where did you loose your virginity.""Um, er, well, er......""Are you trying to say it hasn't happened yet?""Er yes.""Jeepers, cooped up in a cab for hundreds of miles with a virgin. No wonder you can't take your eyes of my tits! Your go.""How old were you when you first had sex?""Oh that's easy. Old enough to know better, young enough not to care!" More dirty laughter, "It was at my birthday party, the night I became 'old enough to know better'. There was a boy I'd fancied for ages, we'd snogged before, but I took him up to my room. My turn. If you were a girl for a day what would you do?"I was getting much more comfortable with the company of this wonderful woman. She was so open and seemed so worldly wise. Before I could really think of the answer my mouth said."Find a nice boy and take him up to my room.""Great answer! He was fun, but very inexperienced. It didn't last long. He got the Johnny on, put it in, moved up and down a couple of times and made a noise that left me in no doubt that it was all over. Not exactly the Karma Sutra but it got the job done."I can hardly believe my ears. This woman had just described her first sexual experience to me without batting an eye lid. The sixties were definitely a liberating decade.Then we pulled off the road to a Routier. Parked up in a diagonal line with lots of other lorries."That's it for today. Let's eat."We walked over to the building and as I followed her I couldn't help but notice how the tight denim cutoff shorts clung to her very alluring bum, which wobbled in a truly delightful way. Her trucker's wallet flapped around, protruding from her right butt pocket.They served delicious food, at a fixed price, with a glass of wine and I noticed with relief that they also had rooms also at very reasonable prices. After the meal I got up and walked towards reception."Where are you off to?""Get a room.""Well, if you want to save some money and you promise to be good, you can kip down in the cab. It'll be cosy, but cheap. I get the bunk, but the seats all fold forwards and you can put your mat across them. Your decision."I must have looked like a goldfish gasping for air. This very attractive lady with stunning tits and an attractive bum, comfortable enough in her own skin to talk freely about sex to a lad she'd never met, was offering to let me share her cab. I was very naive back then!We made use of the facilities and went back to the cab to natter and find some tunes on the radio. Eventually it was time to call it a day and I spread my camping mat over the folded down seat backs.