Cot Culture

Kerry and Jeff explore getting dead people off of boats, planes and seeing the dead in the wild. 

Jeff welcomes Nathan R to the Cot Cottage for reminiscing.  Stories and reflections from a retired removal tech.

Jeff brings in the outsider - Testing out a new format, Jeff brings in his friend Jamie who knows next to nothing about funeral service.  Let's all hope that everyone can bring the same energy and curiosity to the podcast as he does!!

Jeff and Kerry tackle reviving the show, and dangerous removals.  And, a lot of back and forth about setting expectations.

Nicole and Jeff wrap up Cot Culture in a goodbye to our listeners. Nicole is off to tackle new horizons with exciting news about chaplaincy and her path for Forget Me Not! Jeff will continue with his funeral homes with an eye to helping solve some of the region's challenges.Jeff will still monitor chatter@thecotculture.com for email, and welcomes suggestions if the listeners would like to hear a Cot Culture 2.0!

Well... we missed a week due to tech difficulties and it appears that today wasn't much better, but I turned the beautiful soufflé into a beat up diner scramble. Ok, that analogy doesn't work very well,  but what could have been amazing audio is the best I could save.  Thank you to Katey at Return Home for taking the time to talk with us about Natural Organic Reduction and Return Home's Terramation!!!

Nicole and Jeff tackle feedback from show friend Ashley - Have you done removals outdoors or in the woods.And other rambling. I'm not sure what we talked about, but I'm pretty sure it was fun and death related.

Nicole and Jeff have the opportunity to talk with Lashanna of A Sacred Passing to hear about her work in community to make life, and death, more loving and inclusive through her education and doula work.https://asacredpassing.org/More information about Asphodel - "A place for people to die; to gather, live, and grieve. A house for people to learn & rest, to watch the birds and squirrels. A place for you to be of. "

Nicole and Kerry talk about what it's like being a woman in the funeral industry and some of the challenges and navigation that they need to do as a result.

Nicole and Jeff are on a real tear today on the industry - all that's wrong and the fixes for deathcare. Or at least the soapbox had someone on it for an hour...

Nicole and Jeff talk about:Jess- Do you work on the holidays? Is it normally busy on thanksgiving and christmas?Ashley- I want to hear about your FIRST bodies in the biz? Were they weird/interesting?Why are care centers so secure? High fences, lots of locs and codes, anything you heard about anyone through the years trying to break in and steal decedents?

Nicole and Jeff tackle some more chatter!Mike C- Cot Culture seems to imply there are things that are common among all funeral workers…and I think there probably is (like most specialized professions…eg, engineers = nerds). What do funeral home workers have in common? A fondness for The Cure or Sisters of Mercy would be my guess.Ethan B- What's the most helpful (organ donation? body to research?) or least harmful way I can go? If I want my organs donated, do I need to do more than have that on my drivers license?Liz R- Nicole and Jeff revisit the plastic bag question from "Nicole out, Kerry in" on the style points of removal covering. We also do a semi-deep dive on the types of plastic coverings for the deceased.Zippered Pouch MentionedDifficult Body Tray MentionedJess S-How do you feel AI will play a role when it comes to the future of cemeteries? I have heard possible holograms of loved ones to keep memories alive!Also listening to all of the episodes this weekend.

This week, Nicole and Jeff tackle:Tracy T- contDoes anyone ever ask to see their loved one unclothed to look at them one last time?Have you ever encountered an unusual otherworldly presence around in the room when you went to transport a body?Sharon B - My cousins want to mix their moms ashes with my Aunts. Is that a thing?Turtle - How do I make myself into a tree when I die?Heather M -Different cultural beliefs around death and rituals for celebrating those who have died. Why is death so taboo in the US compared to other countries? Now that I'm working in home health I'm seeing a new side of aging, illness, disease, and depression in people who know that they won't be able to go back home or be independent. It's sad, like they are just waiting to die.Robin RMy Dad transported bodies in High School with a friend whose Dad owned the local funeral home for some cash as a kid. He told a story of the body in the back sitting up and freaking them totally out. Said they pulled over, lept out and took forever to must up the gumption to continue the drive.Could that have been a true story? Has it ever happened to you?Erika P Why do you love/do this job?

Nicole and Jeff are putting in the work to get through some chatter!Megan C cont. - there's a movement toward home births and deaths. Walk us through some different cultural death rituals and if we choose to keep/care for our dead at home, some practical, legal, and biological expectations.Tracy THow do you feel about cemeteries with elaborate stones or family plots?How does it make you feel to care for the body of a person who you might know?What are your personal fortes to contain your emotions?How do you feel about people who can't part with their loved ones' ashes or with unusual styles or requests for places to scatter the remains?Have you ever sent ashes to be made into glass or synthetic stones and seen the results?Does anyone ever ask to see their loved one unclothed to look at them one last time?

Chatter- Megantell stories about when you had concerns about cause or manner of deathChatter- JulieHave you attended or hosted a death cafe?Chatter- PaulineHave you considered talking about death to high school students? I wish I had learned more about it and all of the legal specifics in dealing with it afterwards. Also, how one can set up Death with Dignity in WA state, requirements and so forth? Also, to prepare for what drawing your last breath might look like. I was so glad my sister and I were there for my Mum's last breath this past Spring. We were glad she was not alone and to tell her all that we want to say and it was an honor. But, wow, it was not peaceful. Not like in the movies. I can still see and feel it so clearly.I wish we were a culture more accepting of death. We can't escape it. Just tired of the denial of aging and praising youth and beauty above all.How may we listen to these discussionsChatter- MaggieWhich cemetery that you've visited do you find most interesting and why? Do you have a favorite?How does the cremation business in Washington state have to change to be able to meet future capacity?Is human composting a viable solution for meeting future demands? What challenges do they face? How long does the process take?Is it true that in some countries, 200 years after burial the cemetery is plowed under? If that that us true, could you see that ever happening in the US? Or do you think cemeteries are we'll set up for perpetual care?

While Nicole feeds elephants jumping fences, repeat guest and rockstar, Kerry steps in as guest host to cover mortuary science school and application in the real world. Thanks Kerry!

Nicole and Jeff have a very special show - Suzy's passing was a surprise, but her family turned a removal into a surprising life event for everyone involved. We have our first outside guests on the show - Abby and Gwen join us to talk about their mom's passing and how Suzy's death and transfer transformed tragedy into something meaningful.

Chatter- Shelby How do you maintain your sense of empathy as you grow in the profession?Chatter- MeganAre WA cemeteries concerned with running out of space?Chatter- RoseNow that human composting is more accepted, what do you think is the next "fringe" manner of dealing with a body that will slowly work toward being more mainstream/legal?Chatter- LisaHave you ever been a part of a destination funeral?Chatter-Abra Is it common/uncommon for people to keep their loved ones ashes with them rather than bury them at a cemetery?What questions can we ask our aging parents to make sure their last wishes are fulfilled and we don't feel overwhelmed when the time comes?What can we as parents do to make it easy for our children/loved ones to be planful?Chatter- Gary Can I do an Egyptian funeral or do zI need an above tomb? Second, my friend wants a Sky burial. Can you help and where is it possibleChatter- A few people asked Is there life after death?Chatter- Meganwhen my loved one leaves my care, how are you going to care for them in a way that should reassure me? what are the scenarios that hit you in your feels?

WOW ALL THE CHATTERChatter-  Lashanna, WADo you think WA state will ever not require cremulation?What are the first three things you do every time you go home?Are there foods that you can no longer eat because of your death work?Do you ever lie about your profession when introducing yourself? If so, what is the other profession that you tell people about?Chatter- Shannon T, East Coaststrangest (or touching) requests by bereaved familiesChatter- Cathy, Deep Rural WARules of what and what not to do with ashesChatter- Kristina, WAI've always wanted to know more about what is done with bodies before and during transformation to a diamond that loved ones can wear to carry around your loved one after death.Chatter- Shelby, WAWhat advice do you have for new/young folks entering the profession?How is this business like your former work in the restaurant industry?What do you think the next trend will be in your field?

Nicole and Jeff beg for your chatter - ASK QUESTIONSAnd, Jeff gets up on the authorization soapbox as he schools us on why your self authorization is an exercise in frustration. TL:DR - Sign your own authorization. Talk to experts.

Nicole and Jeff have a hodgepodge day because we didn't have chatter!Maggot follow up with audio from Jake the Pest ManTerminologyAlkaline hydrolysis Crypts/NichesCaskets/CoffinsEulogiesAutopsyShameless begging for chatter so we can do 5 episodes while vacations happen.

Jeff and Nicole dive into unexpected territory with a State of the Market evaluation on the Puget Sound and corporate ownership. AND:Chatter- Valentine, WAWhat's something you wish you knew before you started your job?Chatter- Sarah, WADo you ever struggle when you have to do removals for children? Especially you Jeff now that you have Bob?Chatter- Sam, WADo you ever deal with other bugs? Like fleas or lice? Or is it just maggots sometimes?Chatter- Ally, WAIf you wanted to do human composting but you had an autopsy done. Don't you need the stuff that is in the red bag?Chatter- Jenay, CAPeople who see a lot of death, ie first responders, doctors, ect and their set skills for coping. Do they have a certain set of skills?

Chatter- Patricia, IDWhat is the longest a body has gone undiscovered that you had to remove?Chatter- Sarah, AZWhat do they do with the belly button after cremation? I read that the belly button does not burn to ash and that it remains hard and the same size? I have to know if this is true or not. Chatter- Jayne, Tacoma WAWhen did monetization of death start?Chatter- Nichole, WAI would love you and Jeff to tell some horror stories when it comes to death and what things NOT to do. Chatter- Todd, WACan you and Jeff talk about Funny events during unfunny scenarios?Chatter- Ally, WAWhen is it ok to joke about death?

This week Nicole and Jeff tackle Deedles, CA - History and culture of death care. Total final evaluation, never to be discussed again.J3, WA -Funeral FoodCemetery ChairsBecoming a death doula (certification)Jan, WA - How long does it take for a body to decay in a crypt?

Nicole and Jeff have a removal team guest!Heather, a removal rockstar, relates early horror shows and lovely cup fillers on today's episode!

Nicole and Jeff have a repeat guest!  Kerry D is back in the saddle with a couple of removal stories to whet your appetite for transfer mayhem!Nicole and Jeff discuss what makes a good funeral director.

Nicole and Jeff talk about:ArcheryHospice and Doula experience pre-deathHeather in WA - Death moaningJo in WA - What happens when they can't ID a body? What happens if there is no next of kin?Laura in WA - What is a removal van

Nicole and Jeff tackle:More getting to know you AND - Chatter - Jo, WAWhat is your favorite fictional depiction of a death ritual or grief process? Do you have a least favorite?How often are kids present during removals?What is something that still surprises you about your work?Chatter- Heather, WAHow do they autopsy the brain but keep the face intact?When you say “Setting features” what does that mean?Chatter- Cynthia, WADo you ever get curious about how someone has died after doing a removal?When you are embalmed, does your body fluid just go down the drain?Chatter- Samuel, WAAs a mortician or funeral professional. When someone dies is it just as sad for you? Or are you desensitized. Getting to know you:What's the best-kept secret about where you grew up?What was your first job?If you could change one thing about your job or workplace, what would it be?What's one job you would never do, even for a million dollars?

Third time is a charm!  We have recorded this episode THREE TIMES.  If you don't like this version, it's the version you're going to get. In this episode, we tackleCremating soft tissueDavid, AZ - Corpses making a messKristin, WA - Do we believe in reincarnation? Sara, WACan you share a story in which you thought you were going to die? Or thought you might?Do you believe that practicing meditation and prayer can help when you are dying?Can you take pictures at a funeral and do you think it is appropriate?Rebecca, WA - What id the difference between cremated remains and aquamated remains?Katey, WA Why is consumer exploitation accepted amongst funeral professionals?Why is mortuary school only taught to serve white communities?More get to know you questions!

We screwed up.  We recorded episode 18 and then deleted the file (we=Jeff), then re-recorded it and... well, you can listen to this and see what the results were.We are so sorry!! We will be back with more next week.

Nicole and Jeff Tackle:Clean your house before you dieJayden from WA - Multiple bodies in one casketKerry from WA - Seasonality of deathSarah from WA - Death out of areaGet to know you Qs that Nicole got for us to tackle!

Nicole and Jeff need - better show notes.  But, here we are:Graves and recipesClearing up last week's possible pre-arrangement confusion - making sure we are all on the same page about self authorization.Dan from AZ asks about police and fire roles at removals/place of deathAlcohol and griefSarah from AZ asks for suggestions for those that recently lost a pet - memorial items and disposition.Bek from TN - Dreaming about someone who has passed and the conduit to the spirit world.All the funky ghost stuff that we rambled about.

Jeff & Nicole talk about:Tattoo removal/PreservationCall an attorney (estate debt)Funny family requestsRemoving your catheterGen X ramblings Exhumation & Disinterment    

Nicole and Jeff talk about:New lifts in vans!Mistakes are made.Freaking out and quittingMore death industry mythsAnimal reactions to owner deathHuman taxidermy

Nicole and Jeff tackle, yet again, all the chatter that makes ya think.Deedles from CA asks:Have you participated in religious ceremonies pre-removalDo you ever pick up decomps or do they go to the ME?How do you take care of your mental health?Sarah in AZ asks:What wives tales or idioms have you heard that help sculpt of change your thoughts on death and dying?Jane Says:  Jeff do you have any endearing nicknames? 

Today Nicole and Jeff tackle a ton of chatter!! Thanks to Dee Dee for a host of questions, some of the topics -Transporting bits of peopleWashing people - when/whyMakeup and hairRigorBugs Cremation in clothes and things to goDon't forget to email us at chatter@thecotculture.com

Today, Nicole and Jeff invited guest Kerry Decker from CodaCare to talk about removals and her start in the profession.Also covered this episode:Types of removals and the places we go to do themInteresting removalsFamilies and their petsFuneral industry and bodies in HollywoodWhat it means to be a FD and the misconceptions of FDs and Embalmers

Nicole and Jeff go improv with:Hoarder removalsSpontaneous human combustionCovid protocols The parts of the body that gross us out

Nicole and Jeff cover important topics:Near death experiencesOne thing to prep for deathUSA CatacombsLeast talked about dispositionsDeath euphemisms and celebration post-mortem

Nicole and Jeff talk about:Med sled storiesDeath DoulasWhat is a doula?Certification and licensureWhat does the doula solve/fix?Does death hurt?  [spoiler: we have no idea.]

Nicole and Jeff talk about:Military uses for the deadViking funerals - setting fire to people on boats (bad idea)Mushroom suitsTree pods - fetal styleBackyard burial

This week, Nicole and Jeff talk about:Body donation to scienceThe Murder ActWhy the name "Cot Culture"Why embalmPromession/freeze dried dadWhat to do with cremated remainsKeep em' coming people!

Nicole and Jeff talk about:Follow up on body farms from Caitlin DoughtyWho we want to reach with this stuffWhat we think you should knowHopes and fearsAmazed about death process

Nicole and Jeff tackle:Body farms - what we (don't) know.Why Jeff fell in love.The best and worst of the industry.Midlife, what is it, and what's the crisis?Do one thing - talk to your family

Nicole and Jeff tackle:Middle age groin painPet doula selectionPet doula tasks and supportMore poopWe touched on pre-arrangement communication and grief management, but decided that these items need to be a show topic to themselves.

Nicole and Jeff tackle the first chatter!Organ donation and alternative dispositionPreparing a body in home to address decompositionAll the decomp smellsBrussel sprouts and pee. 

Nicole and Jeff introduce themselves and touch on the following:Our backgroundsDoula rolesBasic terminologyParentingPoop