Fandalites - An Animorphs Podcast

One last mailbag, plus Brent & Jenna's thoughts on the series as a whole.

Rachel died & all I got was this stupid bladeship

Guess who's back, back againDavid's back, it's a terrible CYOA book

Tune in to this week's Fandalites for the least romantic marriage proposal imaginable.

"Let's get loaded and get out of here" --Naomi

ARE YOU BAD ENOUGH DUDES TO RESCUE THE GOVERNOR? CW: There's discussion of child abuse in our final z-space transmission. If you'll find it distressing, please skip the last 5 minutes of this episode.

Find out why lawyering is useless and means nothing on this week's Fandalites!

FEATURING ANDALITE POKEY MANS

Games mentioned in this episode:Unknown ArmiesMisspent YouthHenshin!The Burning WheelMasks

"What kind of animorphs book you want ghostwritten?""Just fuck me up, fam"

In the beginning there was a bird person gamer, and he said "let there be memes" and it was good.

Leave it to Beavers this week on Fandalites!

The ramp-up part 2: there's a Visser in my Hummer Hole

If you don't live dangerously, Rachel's leaving.

Cassie goes "down under" in this special antipodes edition of Animorphs.

We like Taylor more than the Helmacrons, but both are extremely unschweet.  The unschweetest.

It's another fucking Helmacrons book, everybody!  Thanks.  I hate it.

Life’s cool when you share your head!  Join us on this week’s Fandalites to finally understand war.

Are you there Crayak? It's me, Jake.   Drink along with us! Megamorphs Cocktail Recipe #4: Rachel - Warrior Princess 1 part Crater Lake Gin1 part King's Ginger liqueur3-4 dashes Scrappy's Firewater tinctureSparkling Rosépince of edible pearl dust Shake gin, ginger liqueur, firewater and pearl dust with ice. Pour into a champagne flute, top with chilled sparkling rosé.  

It turns out the Andalite bandits were here all along - they’re a beautiful suburban gay couple. Also all bees are comrades on this week’s Fandalites!

They seen they principal's dick, and then the dracon beam blew up the buffalo

The Andalites are back in town (but not the good ones), Ax only cheats on Cinnabon a little & kissing is less pleasurable than chocolate.  All this & more on this week’s Fandalites!

Did they justLet the planeGo?  And crash wherever?Oh no okay theyCrashed it into the yeerk pool1998 was a different timeOH NO IT WAS A HIGH RISE NO

Thrill! At the astounding adventures of Doc Visser.  Gill! At the sinister plots of the inscrutable Nartec.  All this & more in this months Fandalite Tales (30¢ at your local newsstand)

There is no room for random chance in the limited human cosmology of this week's super-sized Fandalites!

Marco’s dad has a girlfriend, & Marco is a HUGE jerk about it. The Animorphs are not exactly the poster children for mental health week on this episode of Fandalites!

2 Minds, 1 Body

We built this community center!  We built this community center on rock AND roll!

A collection of outtakes from Fandalites Episode 32 that didn't do much for the episode, but Brent liked them enough to share.  Named by @AngryAria.

Being killed by a tunnel, or turning into a cockroach?  It's a real Rachel's Choice on this week's Fandalites!

When pizza's in a Sanrio Rip you can have pizza anytime because time no longer maters.  Fuck time."

"But what is the giraffe for?"

Jake makes bad decisions: a story in one act

They got the metric system in France, they wouldn't know what the fuck a Yeerk is

Get ready for some dark teen business on this week's Fandalites.   Drink along with us! Megamorphs Cocktail Recipe #3: Tobias - Red Tailed Hawk 1/2 part Galliano1/2 part Killepitsch1/2 part fresh lime juice1 part brandysplash of grenadinebrandied cherry for garnish Shake brandy, Galliano, Killepitsch and lime juice with ice. Pour a small splash of grenadine in the bottom of a martini glass, followed by the cherry. Slowly pour the shaker into the glass, attempting to distrub the grenadine as little as possible.  

Five EelsBlown From the End of a Fire HoseArcing Through the AirToward a Burning Building

Ax discovers that four legs is not always better when he struggles with the sentience of cows in this (surprisingly) not Cassie-POV book.  Fandalites will return after these messages.

Oh my god ax ate a snail with his hoof

Keep Air Hoods™ Brand Anti-Asphyxiation devices out of reach of children due to risk of accidental asphyxiation

Dr. Pepper™ Presents: Andalite Chronicles Book 2 - Alloran's Choice (an Elfangor side story)

Part 1 of 3!  Brent & Jenna dive headfirst into the Andalite Chronicles, careful to keep their hooves out of the gore.

JAKE AND CASSIE KISS!!! Oh, yeah, also the Ellimist sets up a Space Jam with the alien devil.  Why would anyone ask for help from this clown college?  Find out on this week's Fandalites!

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A ANIMORPHS BOOK INTO THE SLOT. ITS THE EXTREME AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MORPHS ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, MARCO. I DO EVERY MORPH AND I DO EVERY MORPH HARD. MAKIN SHLOOPING SOUNDS WHEN I SLAM DOWN SOME VENBER BASTARDS OR EVEN WHEN I MESS UP TECHNIQUE. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ESCAPED THE NORTH POLES YEERK OUTPOST. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY COLLEGE CLASS AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN COLLEGE CLASS CAN STILL BE IMMATURE JERKS. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE LINES AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNING. THEN I LIFT

Go forth, mighty podcasters! Go forth into the internet! All the airwaves shall tremble before the Fandalites. All will obey us. All will be our slaves. For only we are truly worthy to be Lords of the Podcast. - Posthumous Exhortation of the Emperor. From the log of the Fandalite ship, Galaxy Blaster   Read along with us!Book 24: http://a.co/6o7KKRWBook 25:  http://a.co/3ZrwRDWBook 26: http://a.co/hXxfUBU

Alan.Fucking.Fangor.   Read along with us! Book 23: http://a.co/2K7fvBU Book 24: http://a.co/6o7KKRWBook 25:  http://a.co/3ZrwRDW

This episode is the biggest bummer yet.  Rachel makes some hard choices & struggles with making some hard choices.  The Animorphs are Outrageous, insane, out of control, and violent in this week’s Fandalites!   Read along with us!Book 22: http://amzn.to/2F1R9KCBook 23: http://a.co/2K7fvBUBook 24: http://a.co/6o7KKRW

The David situation escalates!  Learn about the Letterman code, hologramception & those fucking popular kids in this week’s Fandalites. Read along with us!Book 21: http://amzn.to/2CE3GyGBook 22: http://amzn.to/2F1R9KCBook 23: http://a.co/2K7fvBU

There's a new animorph in town - Brent and Jenna feel *very* differently about him.  Come hear Brent rush to the defense of a white male sociopath in this week's Fandalites!Read along with us!Book 20: http://amzn.to/2EHAxrDBook 21: http://amzn.to/2CE3GyGBook 22: http://amzn.to/2F1R9KC

Hork-Bajir Chronicles part 2: Esplin is somewhat competent so... what happened?  It's the entire series in miniature on this week's Fandalites!Read along with us!The Hork-Bajir Chronicles: http://amzn.to/2EJponIBook 20: http://amzn.to/2EHAxrDBook 21: http://amzn.to/2CE3GyG

It's Hork-Bajirisode #1!  In which we learn some upsetting things about Andalites, the Hork-Bajir are very chill, and at least the grass tastes fine.   Read along with us!The Hork-Bajir Chronicles: http://amzn.to/2EJponIBook 20: http://amzn.to/2EHAxrD

Cassie has a crisis of faith that ends just as badly as it possibly can, until it doesn't.  Everything gets solved by Deus Ex Morphina on this week's Fandalites!   Read along with us!Book 19: http://amzn.to/2Gx9mO9The Hork-Bajir Chronicles: http://amzn.to/2EJponI