I Can Relate with Jessica Burns

In this season finale I asked my best friend, Sierra, to interview me on my experience during my mom's cancer journey. My mom was diagnosed with advanced ovarian cancer in July 2022 and I dropped everything to move home to Bermuda to be with her and the family during this time.  As we begin a new year, my mom rings the end of treatment bell and I pause to reflect on the journey we wen't through to get to this moment. This is a story of heart ache, hope and how powerful a positive mind set is. 

Flo shares with us her experience as a single mom to her son, Israel, a 7 year old boy who has autism. He was diagnosed when he was 3 years old. She describes what it was first like to receive this news and how hard it was in the beginning. She tells us how they have found a good routine and because of this, her mental health has improved a lot. She attributes this to the good support system in their lives.

Kristen shares with us the struggle she went through to start her family and the journey she and her husband went on with IVF to have their daughter.  IVF stands for in vitro fertilization and is is used to help people with fertility problems have a baby (NHS, 2022). 

Tatyana shares what it is like to live with bipolar disorder. She relates it to walking on a tight rope, trying not to fall off, either into mania or depression. She shares what her triggers are, how her relationships have been impacted and the ways she has learned to cope.

Raymar shares with us what it is like having a parent in prison. His father has been incarcerated for 3 years now. He shares the anger he experienced, the family divide this has caused and how hard it is to maintain a relationship with someone who is behind bars.

Katy shares her experience going through premature menopause during her 30s. This is when the ovaries stop producing eggs before they should and no longer create the hormones estrogen and progesterone, which are important for women's health and well-being (The Daisy Network, 2022). Katy says that 1 in 100 women who are under the age of 40 will experience this. If you or a loved one is going through this, please see the Daisy Network to learn more and connect with others going through this: https://www.daisynetwork.org/about-poi/what-is-poi/

Beth shares with us what it was like losing her mother to dementia: how hard it was to care for her internationally; the guilt she experienced of not living near her; and the mental toll it took on her when her mother forgot who she was. Beth believes it was the abuse her mother experienced as a child growing up in foster care that led to her dementia as it left profound mental scars that were never addressed. For those unfamiliar with dementia: it is a term used to describe a group of symptoms affecting memory, thinking and social abilities severely enough to interfere with your daily life.

Today I sit down with my best friend Alex and we talk about our experience at university when we lived with a con man and how his web of lies and manipulation all unravelled, putting a big target on my back as I was the one who figured it all out. His real name and those involved have been changed.

In 2017, a terrorist drove across Westminster bridge in London and killed 5 people and injured 50 others. Travis, a survivor of the attack, shares how those 82 seconds changed his life forever. 

Sex trafficking is when victims are manipulated or forced to engage in various forms of sexual activity for someone else's financial gain. Sex trafficking does not necessarily involve movement or transportation, a person can be trafficked and go home and sleep in their own bed at night (Polaris Project, 2021). Our guest, Sean Wheeler lives and works in Colorado. He was sex trafficked from around age 5 until age 9 and he experienced other forms of abuse for some 15 years, including having been used in child pornography. In this episode he shares how it all began, the grooming methods that were used, how he lost his voice and the emotional scars that he has been working through. Today, Sean speaks out on the issue of child trafficking and is in the process of setting up a safety house for male victims. Watch episode on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOys9V5dD6s&list=PLqaZCWiJ5r3f2uzVqRzeaEPPlp0nj7u3v&index=1 Sean's book "Wretch": https://www.amazon.com/Wretch-Haunted-Shadows-Rescued-Jesus/dp/1498486738

Kari shares with us her journey and how she found herself in an emotionally, physically and sexually abusive relationship. She talks about how it started off amazing, he seemed like prince charming, but gradually over time he isolated her from her family and friends and she lost a sense of reality. Tune in to learn her lifesaving tips on getting out safely and how to support loved ones going through this.

Kris shares his Crohn's Disease journey and how he was able to put it into remission and hike the Pacific Crest Trail, a long distance trail (2,653 miles) that spans across mountain ranges on the western coast of the US and Canada. This story is one of resilience, pain and perseverance.

Abdul was born and raised in Somalia. He shares his journey of how war and conflict drove his family to flee the country when he was 10 years old and immigrate to the UK. With the Ukraine being the fastest growing refugee crisis since the Second World War its really important that we are able to be empathetic and educate ourselves on this experience.

Ife became pregnant in the summer before her final year of university and has been a single parent for 13 years to her daughter.    She talks about the hardships: financially, logistically and mentally. She also talks about the positives: the special bond she shares with her daughter and the ability to completely decide how to raise her. If you are a single parent and need someone to talk to, check out the Gingerbread charity: https://www.gingerbread.org.uk

The question is: do you really only want to sleep with one person for ever?  I sit down with Marco and Imari to discuss open relationships and non-monogamist lifestyles. Macro is in an open relationship with his partner and they have a child together while Imari is in an open relationship with his girlfriend. They help set the scene for what is essentially “open relationships for dummies” and share what it is like for them.   We cover the topics of jealousy and fear, which are rooted in the common questions that come up of ‘are you afraid of losing your partner to someone else' or ‘doesn't it make you feel like you're not enough?' We talk about toxic monogamist norms that leave many people feeling guilty and trapped.  Marco and Imari challenge monogamists to ask themselves:are you following these rules because you want to or because you can't imagine how it would work? 

Sam shares with us her experience with abortion and takes us on her emotional journey: from finding out she was pregnant; the lack of support she felt; the abortion procedure; and her experience with postpartum depression. Sam shares her story to help de-stigmatised abortions and to help release the shame society has put on women. Statistics from Marie Stopes, a provider of sexual and reproductive health services in the UK: 1 in 3 women will have an abortion in their life 1 in 3 women won't tell their friends or family 9 in 10 adults are pro choice in the UK Almost half of abortions worldwide are unsafe This is a safe space, please be mindful of one another.

Terry Tucker has been battling cancer for years now and has received a terminal diagnosis. While he lives in constant pain and discomfort he talks about how he continues to live a life with purpose.  Terry shares his tips on how to live a full life so that when your time is up, you are ready.  Check out Terry's book 'Sustainable Excellence': Ten Principles To Leading Your Uncommon And Extraordinary Life.

Nathan takes us on his journey to becoming addicted to opioids for 8 years, what that experience was like and finally after the 9th try, getting 'clean'. We discuss how a chaotic childhood, poor mental health and anxiety played a huge role in the decisions that led him to drugs. He shares the incredible work he does now in his community, breaking stigmas and helping to save lives of those who are over dosing. Also watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/tOOlUcx58X0

Jessica Dante tells her story of not wanting children and how it ended her 5 year marriage. She isn't alone, approximately 1/3 of millennials don't want kids (Kramer, 2015). However most of the coverage we see on this topic is based on choosing not to have children for environmental reasons rather than simply not wanting them. She speaks about the dangers of having kids to stay in a relationship and how this can have profound implications on the child.

Aaron is from Appleton, USA and is an Elvis Presley Tribute artist. He shares how his autism has helped him be successful at his job and what its like being on the spectrum. ⁣ We speak about the bullying he experienced growing up and how it's shaped him into who he is today. We also touch on what it's like dating on the spectrum. ⁣ People with autism have exceptional talents and excel in performing certain tasks. The better we understand autism, the more we can provide support and reduce the astonishing figure of 78% of autistic adults being unemployed… “while not all autistic people can work, we know most want to” (ONS, 2021).

James has been suffering from long Covid for the past 5 months with no end in sight. Long Covid is a term used to describe the effects of Covid-19 that continue for weeks or months beyond the initial illness. James is 30 and said he was the healthiest he had ever been before he caught Covid. He warns young people of the danger of having the attitude of thinking just because you are young and healthy you will be fine. James says that from the research he has done 10%-30% of people who catch Covid are suffering with lasting effects like his. He urges people to follow the rules and get vaccinated when you can. He shares with us the symptoms he is suffering with, including extreme fatigue and brain fog. He says this has taken a toll on not just on his mental health but also on his family's who are currently taking care of him as he is unable to do many basic activities without feeling exhausted. He says if you know someone who is suffering from long-covid to not just reach out and ask how their mental health is but also to reach out to their support system as care-givers often are not thought about.

Jesus Eddie Campa is the former Police Chief in Marshall, Texas. He shares the racism he experienced during this time serving as the first minority (Mexican) Police Chief of a racially divided community and how he was eventually bullied out of this position. We discuss the main form of police misconduct that he witnessed which was assault/unnecessary use of force and the racism he was up against in the community and in the police department. He makes a point of saying he truly believes that 99% of police officers are good guys but that 1% can really shape a culture. He shares the initiatives he took to improve the relationship the public has with police. How he created and implemented the No Colors No Labels Initiative designed to remove the preconceived notion that the Police were racially motivated. This and many other positive impacts he had won him in 2017 the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Humanitarian of the Year by the NAACP This episode is in recognition of the anniversary of George Floyd's murder. “One year ago, George Floyd was murdered at the hands of police, a day that sparked protests for social justice worldwide. Floyd, 46, died on May 25, 2020, after former Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin pressed his knee into his neck for more than nine minutes.” - USA Today

Jeron shares his experience growing up in a home witnessing domestic violence. He was just four when he witnessed an altercation where his father almost killed his mother.  He shares the profound impacts this has had on him and his own intimate relationships. He has, as an adult, confronted his past and done a great deal of work on himself to get him to where he is today. 

Charlotte gives an insight into what it is like to ride the wave of fame on instagram and the realities that come with that. Her sister, Eugenie Bouchard, is a professional tennis player and as her career took off Charlotte experienced tens of thousands of people following her on instagram (she now has 100k followers). While she enjoyed the excitement and newness of the experience it was not long before she was confronted with the darker side the spot light. She shares how this popularity gained the unwanted attention of a cyber stalker whose obsession became a safety concern for her and her inner circle. Charlotte give practical tips of how to be safe online and how to set healthy boundaries with social media. A key piece of advice was to make that mindset shift from using your phone as a tool instead of a toy.

Two generations of women, from baby boomer to millennial, discuss how attitudes towards sex and gender roles have changed in one generation. We dive back into the mindset of our teenage selves coming of sexual maturity to understand the similarities and differences that decades and backgrounds have had on our sexual experiences and understanding of what it meant to be a woman. We also covered topics on consent, rape & safety issues so please note this episode may be triggering.

Jessica Lynn was born a man but knew since the age of four that she wanted to be a female. She shares her journey of how she tried to cut off her own genitals at the age of seven; how she lost the love of her life in a tragic car accident; and how after she transitioned at 45, she lost custody over her youngest child due to the fact that she was transgender. Jessica tells us how her story of discrimination in the court has gone on to help change laws. She travels the world sharing her story to remind us all that trans rights are human rights.

Rachel shares with us her journey of how she went from being a wife to a caregiver to a widower at age 31. Her husband was diagnosed with leukaemia blood cancer when she was 28 and he came off life support 2 years after. We are taken on her journey of caregiving for years before becoming a young widow. She shares the dark journey she had after he died: how she struggled with alcohol and loss of self worth. Rachel has gone on to write a book called “Wife, Widow, Now What?” which helps others navigate the new world you are thrown into when a loved one is diagnosed with an illness.

Pramit can break his life up into two parts: life with his vision and life without. He took a prescribed medication for joint pains and almost overnight lost his sight. He shares his journey of loosing his confidence and not leaving the house for two years. He describes how far he has come and how he feels at peace and content. He has gone on to develop a voice control app to help the visionally impaired maintain their independence. Pramit's story provides an insight into what it's like to live in a world you can no longer see.

Lauren walks us through her journey of being adopted growing up: how she felt completely loved and never felt this gaping whole that is described in movies. Lauren went on to adopt two daughters herself and explains how hard the adoption process is. She urges those looking to adopt to not give up and talks about the instant bond she felt when she saw her children. Later in life, she found her birth family and shares how special it has been for her to have made these connections. This is a powerful story that reminds us that families are made in all kinds of ways.

Bisi Alimi is a Nigerian gay rights activist, public speaker, blog writer and HIV advocate who gained international attention when he became the first Nigerian to come out on television. We speak about the dangers of being LGBT in non-tolerant countries where rights and social acceptance are far from achieved. Bisi shares his story of the events that happened after he publicly came out: how he lost his acting career; was brutally beaten in his home; and had to flee Nigeria to live in asylum in the UK for fear of his safety. ⁣

As season 1 comes to a close, and the holiday season is in full swing, I decided to write a guided meditation that may help you find a moment of relaxation. The holiday season can be stressful, especially during a pandemic. Take this moment to meditate and find inner peace amongst the chaos. I am dedicating this guided meditation to all those who shared their stories with us in Season 1.

Martin became paralysed from the waist down after a trampoline accident when he was 16. Martin shares his early memories after the accident and what the adjustment period was like for him. He talks about the close community he has found through disabled sport and his hopes to make the Archery Paralympics in Tokyo next year. According to the World Health Organisation, approximately 15% of the worlds population live with some form of disability. This episode aims to normalise disabilities and break any stigmas.

Josie identifies as non-binary, a-sexual and queer. Josi grew up in a small town in Germany in the 90s and early 200s and was badly bullied for being different. When everyone else was asking “who am I?” Josi was trying to figure out “what am I?”. Josi was called to take their own life by fellow school mates but managed to get through those times. Josi said it took years to finally realise, “I am not broken”.

Do you think you are in the wrong career? Allison is a life coach who helps people break internal barriers to reach their limits and potential. She talks about how to get over fears like finances and judgment from family/friends when making big careers transitions. Complete the below free Values Assessment here to begin figuring out what motivates and drives you. https://www.yourclearalignercoach.com/valuesassessment

Miriam shares her mental health journey. She talks about how her depression led to an eating disorder; alcohol abuse; and a suicide attempt. Miriam is completing her masters now in Psychology & Neuroscience of Mental Health and has started a project called “all in our head” which is a collection on stories on mental illness from members of the public. Find here: allinourhead.com Follow here: @all_inourhead

Erin shares her fertility journey and how her first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. Book Recommendation: Expecting Better - Emily Oyster

Adam shares his experience losing his father to cancer during his adolescence and his journey through grief

Lorene Phillips is a very successful black business woman. She shares her experience with racism over her 30 year career.

Mindfulness coach, Chiedu Hing, tells us about a phobia she has battled with since childhood. I too share some of my phobias that impact my everyday life.

Steve talks about his former spouse, Ian, who he was with for 26 years. Ian suffers with alcoholism and mental health issues. Steve gives us an insight of the daily battles and stresses partners of alcoholics experience.

I sit down with Debi Ray-Rivers, she started a charity called SCARS which stands for Saving Children and Revealing Secrets which she set up to prevent children from sexual abuse. Debbie is a survivor herself as are her two daughters and she shares with us their journey with. She was also the first adult that I told about something that happened to me when I was a child.