Kids vs. Cats

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Joe’s got kids. Dave’s got cats. Finding balance as adults when we are dealing with friends, family and society can be tough and yet so simple when we view it all through the lens of Kids vs. Cats. We chat through marriage and mayhem, each of us finding balance within the culture and chaos wrought…

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    • Feb 2, 2023 LATEST EPISODE
    • infrequent NEW EPISODES
    • 56m AVG DURATION
    • 93 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Kids vs. Cats

    Kids vs. Cats - Whose Team

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 2, 2023 59:31


    In their first installment for 2023 Joe and Dave chat up the utility of sinks, dogs owning guns and the messed up world of sports and athletes and the work that crosses to fit making the mountain a little less formidable. Be sure to hang in there until after the potty break when things really start to flow and we serve up delicious morsels of kids vs. cats. Make this your best year yet by SUBSCRIBING and SHARING and COMMENTING 

    Kids vs. Cats - Weed the People

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 16, 2022 48:17


    Joe highly recommends having no Thanksgiving leftovers. Dave does not DIY. Cats and mice living together while Fathers-in-Law save the day! Comment. Subscribe. Follow.

    Kids vs. Cats - Carbon Capitalized

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 16, 2022 57:24


    Joe goes nuclear on coyotes, hairy wife legs and wood chopping child laborless horror stories. Dave gives the gift that keeps on giving the wrong information but boasts the biggest birthday wishes for Joe. Comment. Subscribe. Share. Please. Make it a beautiful day!

    kids cats carbon capitalized
    Kids vs. Cats - Contractual Constrictions

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 28, 2022 73:22


    Joe and Dave hope you can swallow the whole episode as they chat up getting scammed in New Orleans, Pythons power-lunching on people, priests and nuns knocking out some porn and how to DIY a dog cone so that no one can lick their surgically removed genitals - as marriage teaches us all. Subscribe, comment, like, follow, share. Be blessed today y'all!

    Kids vs. Cats - Forty Niners

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2022 58:04


    Joe and Dave double dip on birthday celebrations, face to face conversations, siblings sexing on edibles and all the energy it takes to guide teenagers into action. Subscribe, comment, follow, share, post and discuss amongst your peer group. More importantly, good friends and family matter - let 'em know you love 'em.

    Kids vs. Cats - College Rocks

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 20, 2022 66:59


    Joe takes us on a guided tour of Ithaca College and Cornell, leaving out all the juicy bits of his time spent there as a young man, because he was with his kids. Dave dives into his weekend exploits in Detroit taking in the Chris Rock concert, as well as showing us a window into proper inspection and how to appropriately watch a live event.

    Kids vs. Cats - The Grind

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 1, 2022 55:23


    Joe's secret way to hide all of his rage gets uncovered by the dentist. Dave is unable, more so unwilling, to unionize fake dads. The auto tip is brought to the forefront in the era of shrinkflation. The boys get 20% better today when Dave sings a song to his French Cowboy partner!  SUBSCRIBE!  SUBSCRIBE!

    Kids vs. Cats - Call Mom

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 23, 2022 66:12


    Joe goes full NOO YAWK with alum shout-out for Tim Locastro and the Ithaca Bombers while Dave licks his old man lax wounds. The two pre-elder white males discuss bias hotlines, and answer "who ya gonna call?" without mentioning the movie franchise everybody claps back with. What makes the best family photos? Listen to find out! If this episode hurts your feelings please call another human being. That's what humans do - talk to one another. I think Joe and Dave talked about other stuff...oh! Dave finally succumbs to Joe's incessant desire to be laughed at, which is nice and we answer the age old question 'breasts or thighs?' subscribe. comment. thrive.

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    Kids vs. Cats - Parking Violations

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 6, 2022 57:33


    Dave parks cars at the ESPYs, runs into a former model on Hollywood Blvd. who thought Joe was her daddy. The duo discuss family vacations, why all sports needs a new audio/video perspective pioneered by the PLL and Joe goes in circles on a rented jet ski. Where does the microphone go...oh if only we were both in the know. SUBSCRIBE!

    Kids vs. Cats - Bocce'd Up

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 17, 2022 65:35


    Joe get his team disqualified from the Bocce Ball Championship, mostly because drunken wives are trying to let off some steam from the recession...we chat recession depression, drunk retorts, no-call-no-shows and why a good friend always has your back and bad friends are nowhere to be found and the greatest friend reminds you that when the "wife is the fan" aka "shit hits the fan," turn off the fan.

    Kids vs. Cats - Stop The Noise

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 10, 2022 66:42


    Joe texted his close friends to ask if they were watching the Jan06 hearings. They all responded with the activities they were doing instead, those life participating activities involving their family and their intellect. We discuss what kind of life we have if we, as a collective, do not Stop The Noise. The discussion is an impassioned, and worthy plea to pay attention and find the common ground we need as a nation to have secure bedrock for which to face our future. Dave just wanted to talk about how Top Gun was a remix of all the Star Wars movie tropes. Put a smile on your face and positively impact all those in your life.

    Kids vs. Cats - Hamiltonian Stand-Ins

    Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2022 51:41


    Joe ventures into Manhattan with the family and manages not to lose his Father while struggling philosophically about our forefathers. Dave frames the decision-making ability of the household in a new light. We may have changed couples therapy forever! #hamilton #family #couplestherapy #decisions #whiteguys #foundingfathers #progressives #podcast

    Kids vs. Cats - Gullible Travels

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 22, 2022 62:04


    Joe and Dave catch up after East coast / West coast travels, anxiously awaiting Cabrera's 3000th hit. College is for suckers and nobody sucks more than Joe. Meanwhile Dave sucks the marrow from past life lessons and saves his own ass in a Starbucks robbery. Please show your compounding disinterest and subscribe.

    Kids vs. Cats - Sith Slapped

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 29, 2022 70:10


    Oscar the grouch gets fed by Joe, who throws away all of his childhood memories and leads our discussion into the grouchiness of the Oscars. #smithslapped #aquaman #batman #oscars #darthvader #bottlecaps #thecomedyexperiment

    Kids vs. Cats - Baseball Birthdays

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 10, 2022 55:03


    Joe and Dave solve the MLB impasse in one fell swoop! We chat birthdays, expectations and our new side gig - putting parents in the penalty box.

    Kids vs. Cats - Aggressively Innocent

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 4, 2022 51:20


    Joe and Dave chat this weeks attacks on Garbage, Comedians and Ukraine, cleaning up with the spirit of community and confidence in the future.

    Kids vs. Cats - Shoes Off

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 17, 2022 61:17


    Joe and Dave welcome their first guest! Matt joins us to chat Superbowl, Daddy's girl, Winter Olympics, and reminisce about the redux of our by-gone era. Joe tangles with another restaurant owner and sells out his wife at the same time. We learn about the power of solar while going shoeless long enough to relax, but not too long. 

    Kids vs. Cats - Likewe'll Nyquil

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 8, 2022 53:50


    COVID cancels Dave's travel plans. Joe dumps on his dog and gets shunned by his cat for serving real chicken. The Winter Olympics is happening, apparently, so Joe takes Dave to ski school. Only listen to this if you are in quarantine.

    Kids vs. Cats - ForTwo iTous

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 2, 2022 53:17


    Apple logo on the Moon with a cursor pointed to iMars where Elon Musk now exists. Yes. Cat makeup line upping your online feline. Yes. Most famous Han Solo quote. I Know...what you think, but it's not. Retiring from the NFL. Shouldn't we all. Put your earbuds in and listen to Joe and Dave shovel two two twenty two worth of it at ya! Be blessed y'all!

    Kids vs. Cats - Eyebrow Guillotine

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 26, 2022 62:49


    Joe's eyebrows have the power to make heads roll, or do they? COVID quarantine hits home, high beams and barns are drive by targets for our old man conversation.

    Kids vs. Cats - Problems. Period.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 5, 2022 63:59


    Joe and Dave delve into the holiday aftermath discussing blind dates, streaming services and the gifts that keep on giving, all the while reminding ourselves that we are not alone climbing this mountain.

    Kids vs. Cats - Judge Mouth

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 23, 2021 56:19


    Joe is watering it down this week with made-for-mom ramen and a chowder competition. We ramble and roll into and out of the holiday spirit with baited breath, awaiting the sock patrol to come to town. Come get some insta!

    Kids vs. Cats - No Big, Go Home

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 16, 2021 60:16


    Dave's grandma bails on making the traditional family feast for drive-thru pick up. Joe doesn't not believe the war on Christmas is real. Both of us burn candles at both ends of the intersection of art, family, gifts and hilarity. 

    Kids vs. Cats - Password Projectile

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 11, 2021 60:07


    Joe and Dave cat fight about vacations, neighbors and Yankee legends. Dolphins get a bad wrap and will do anything for a fish. Doing a podcast is like riding a bike, there's a lot of falling and crying, but you just gotta get up and move forward!

    Kids vs. Cats - Parent Pressure

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 9, 2021 56:24


    Hey everybody! We start chatting about the pressure of tires but get into a serious chat about the pressure of parenthood, and how a parent deals with a school shooting. Joe has firsthand experience. Leading off with laughs, finishing strong with love, we hope you enjoy our chat bookended by Christmas, Mariano Rivera sightings and art teachers pawning their students art back to the parents.

    Kids vs. Cats - Bahama Waves

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 4, 2021 31:04


    This is just a half hour of recorded waves on a beach in the Bahamas because Joe doesn't travel with a laptop. Relax and enjoy, it may be our best epsiode yet.

    Kids vs. Cats - Balloon Bashing

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 20, 2021 69:45


    Joe and Dave play good "cop-face" / bad "cop-face" as they chime in about the petting zoo that is marriage, airline travel & Grateful Dead crowds. 

    Kids vs. Cats - Corporate Ism

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 11, 2021 67:15


    Fall clean up is in full swing at the Joe and Dave households. We haven't recorded in too long which becomes painfully obvious as Joe peels the onion of knowledge and wisdom while Dave brain-farts music without words. Whether kids or cats are your jam, we all live in a corporate world, albeit neighborly in every way. 

    Kids vs. Cats - Fun Fishing

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 15, 2021 64:58


    Joe and Dave deep dive into vacations, getting older, and being amazed by the beauty that surrounds us…mostly amazed if not, at times, confounded. #UpTop for fudge, tacos, wahoos, dramamine, airplane mode and knowing your birthday gifts

    Kids vs. Cats - Debunking Uncle-ing

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 17, 2021 69:02


    Joe and Dave check in about the new/old side hustles, being awesome uncles, rope course zip-lining, lamborghini driving, signing waivers, the NFL Network and maybe a theoretical postulate about the ethereal essence of corn.

    Cats Eye - Bonus!!!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 17, 2021 3:28


    Joe can't bridge the gap to pull off being a cool uncle, but Dave leads him back to awesomeness!

    Kids vs. Cats - Parties Over It

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 3, 2021 69:18


    Dave and Joe discuss the old school tradition of dropping your kid off at another child's birthday party, placenta prepositions, paying for your previous popularity, and propose a bunch of other random nonsense.

    Kids vs. Cats - Ghost Storied

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 28, 2021 73:01


    Dave describes the ghostly encounter in Knoxville, TN. Joe gets his one indulgence eaten out from under him. Insulin jars and retired parents round out the episode from the beyond!

    Kids vs. Cats - Oh-Limp-Ick Spurts

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 7, 2021 65:30


    Joe and Dave talk rings around the absurdity, athleticism and all-around not-made-for-TV sports that have been deemed Olympic worthy, all the while showcasing how uninformed and out of touch they really are. This is a medal-worthy listen if you've got the mettle to listen to us meddle in all glory that is going on in Japan.

    Kids vs. Cats - Fireworks

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 6, 2021 67:56


    Old school, new school, mean school - Joe blows it up and Dave cools it down at the pool all while vectoring aliens to your location.

    Kids vs. Cats - Leftovers

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 18, 2021 63:13


    Joe and Dave chow down on grandma's, groceries and making motorcycles go! Racism and Cancel Culture are at the Hart of the discussion, which we take in small, chewable bites entertaining you with what is leftover.

    Kids vs. Cats - Swim Lessons

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 8, 2021 60:26


    Dave and Joe catch up post-holiday and dive in to the latest and greatest regarding motorcycles, waverunners and a gaggle of "Karens" trying to control their spawn. This episode is hot! Especially if you're too cool for school.

    Kids vs. Cats - Truth Is

    Play Episode Listen Later May 24, 2021 57:18


    Joe and Dave discuss the current state of "mask-splaining" and the emasculation of bocce league mayors, neighbors appearing out of nowhere and ruining a quiet Sunday morning. All the way getting nowhere near the truth except as we see it. Get outside and do something - BUT - subscribe and take us with you.

    Kids vs. Cats - Hell'scape

    Play Episode Listen Later May 3, 2021 59:50


    Joe and Dave have a heavenly discussion about golf, veterinarians and text messages. They challenge each other to a "don't answer your wife with a question" duel. Let the games begin! Subscribe! Comment! Review!

    Kids vs Cats - Good Juice

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 28, 2021 70:39


    The Vax Snob and Dave brush up on their motor skills while chatting up all things fishy, faithful and fun! Subscribe! Review! Be a Guest if you listen to the whole thing...

    Kids vs. Cats - Right Crossed

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 23, 2021 61:42


    Vaccines, hot dogs, pizza, moms, workouts, robots and wax figures. Dave comes clean about not listening and Joe doesn’t get to watch baseball but trademarks his own new All-American past-time. Yankees were up 2-1 over the Tigers at the time of this recording.

    Kids vs. Cats - Multiple Factors

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 28, 2021 62:37


    Joe and Dave discuss multi-factor authentication, Tiger Woods, chasing lasers and needing a degree to get into the Michigan Militia (should this be capitalized?) We spend time chatting up stuff about parents and wondering if we're too old to have attainable goals and what that even means because we're old enough to have already accomplished those goals if we put forth any effort.

    Kids vs. Cats - Bud Boobze

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 19, 2021 60:26


    Joe and Dave rush into solutions for education, infrastructure and FB marketplace all while not playing golf.

    Kids vs. Cats - Nurse Boobs

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 7, 2021 22:58


    Joe and Dave gamble with their family reputations on Superbowl Sunday.

    Kids vs. Cats - Peloton is a cult

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 4, 2021 62:02


    Joe and Dave mansplain the slippery slopes...of skiing, lovemaking, cat boxes, Catholics and Peloton cults! What will you wager on?

    Kids vs. Cats - Inspiration Squared

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 23, 2021 62:58


    Joe and Dave mitten up for the slopes and scope of the new world order returning while finding inspiration in the most likely of places.

    Kids vs. Cats - House Party

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 9, 2021 61:00


    Joe and Dave shoot the s$%t about Joe’s irresponsibility and disbelief of Christmas magic. Both grateful for their gifts even if they made no sense, they discuss the lack of evidence that a new strain of revolution is a good idea.

    Kids vs. Cats - Merry Christmas

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 24, 2020 63:51


    may the Christmas phoenix burn bright, your allies be pardoned and your smile bring joy to the world! Be blessed y’all!

    Kids vs. Cats - Super Spreader

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 3, 2020 77:12


    Joe and Dave tally up their Thanksgiving kills, discuss decorations, trade barbs on traitors, TV, technology and the general apathy of historical consequences. But for real Joe owes Dave an ice cold Coca-Cola for a *jinx* y'all. Listen up and tell Joe to pay up!

    Kids vs. Cats - Thanks, Give In

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 26, 2020 70:26


    Joe's mailing out his meatballs for his family, Trump pardons more turkeys, The Mandalorian causes menopausal turrets in Dave's household and we wonder why everybody wants to be rated. (please subscribe)  If you stay for the ending you may end up be grateful for what Joe views as a dark turn to the holiday. Be blessed everybody!

    Kids vs. Cats - Eleck-She-Own

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 3, 2020 61:51


    Dave and Joe breakdown this day in history, sort of. Not really but we do discuss the polls, votes and yard signs. Tina makes a guest appearance on her way to Kroger...because she is the best wife ever gathering election night grub. Cast your vote by subscribing to the podcast!

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