Life of Bi: A Slippery History of Bisexuality

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Are we living in a bisexual renaissance? From Ancient China to TikTok, writers, hosts and ex-gfs Mary & Ell explore what it really means to be a modern bisexual. “I still regretfully shag men... I guess that’s what bi is” - anon. Written, created and

Hotter Project


    • Apr 16, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • every other week NEW EPISODES
    • 42m AVG DURATION
    • 44 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Life of Bi: A Slippery History of Bisexuality

    Episode 43: agony ankle #2 - fashion advice for Perturbed From Peckham

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 16, 2025 29:37


    In this latest instalment of Life of Bi's Agony Ankle segment we hear from a listener who's struggling to work out what to wear to the Cloob. Luckily Ell and Mary are expert fashionistas (

    Episode 42: bisexuality under capitalism with Sophie K Rosa

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 31, 2025 56:49


    Buckle up fellas! And ready yourselves for an excursive exploration of how bisexuality operates under capitalism. We've long been fans of Sophie K Rosa's radical writings on modern love, intimacy, and relational structures, and were thrilled to find that they are a fellow bisexual — and listen to LOB. In this episode we wonder: are bisexuals too slippery to market to? what does capitalism stand to gain from ignoring fluidity? and — does bisexuality suffer from… a branding issue?!Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 41: agony ankle - am i bi enough?

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 21, 2025 22:16


    The first edition of Agony Ankle - where we answer your questions. Join us for today's classic bi+ dilemma - am I actually bi? To write in with your own queries, dilemmas and goss - head to hotterproject.co.uk/lifeofbi. Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 40: bi+ mental health with Bailey Merlin

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 5, 2025 50:50


    Did you know it's Bi+ Health Awareness Month? Oh, and did you know that bisexual people suffer from worse mental health than their lesbian and gay counterparts? Well, we didn't either. Until we met Bailey. Join us for an eye-opening exploration in the under-researched field of bi+ mental health. Bailey is co-host of the Bisexual Killjoy podcast - go check it out! Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 39: optics odyssey

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 19, 2025 46:19


    A chill chat about the politics of optics snowballs into a deep dive on Judith Butler and the cosmos. Ell and Mary muse on what it means to be ‘culturally intelligible' as bisexuals, and wonder if it really matters — finding solace in the work of theoretical physicist Chanda Prescod-Weinstein.Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 38: four years later

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 3, 2025 62:05


    It's been four years since Ell and Mary started working on Life of Bi. Join them for a big conversation about how their relationships to bisexuality have changed (or stayed the same) since then, touching on bi-erasure, biphobia, flux, doubt, belief -- and how all these make a Life of Bi.Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 37: queer friendship with Dr Monica Pearl

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 26, 2024 67:59


    In this very special episode, Ell and Mary talk to veteran professor and HIV/AIDS activist Dr Monica Pearl about her experiences with Act Up and the unique and under-studied intricacies of queer friendship. A perfect antidote and/or accompaniment to the festive season when the emphasis is on “family time”. We met Monica at the Sexuality Summer School, a week of workshops, performances and roundtables held each year at the University of Manchester.Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 36: "wedding" planning

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 18, 2024 50:45


    change is in the air for Ell and Mary as they reflect on rituals surrounding moving out, moving in, and moving on. What starts as a ‘wedding planning' episode turns into a call for ceremony in our everyday lives.Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 35: queer marriage

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 31, 2024 65:41


    After a summer full of wedding bells and disco dancing, Ell and Mary are inspired. But should they take sweet sweet matrimony with a pinch of anti-capitalist salt? Join them as they look at the history of gay marriage in the UK, exploring the choice at the heart of many a queer issue: assimilate, or resist... Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 34: neuoqueer

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 24, 2024 55:28


    How can we understand the intersection between queerness and neurodiversity? Ell and Mary take a hard look at the existing research to try and understand why so many queers are neurospicy, and vice versa. Splitting up to look for clues, Ell turns her attention to the co-occurrence of ADHD and bisexuality, while Mary interrogates the connection between autism and gender-nonconforming identities.Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 33: gay panic

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 2, 2024 55:48


    It's the episode you've all been waiting for... Ell & Mary's hot (well, now tepid) take on the hit BBC show I KISSED A GIRL. Join us for a deep dive in which we ask: what does "gay panic" actually mean? Is there such a thing as bi or nonbinary panic? What's the deal with gender on the show? And most importantly: if we were on it, would anyone fancy us?!?Alison Bechdel clip: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/04/13/t-magazine/butch-stud-lesbian.htmlEnjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 32: solidarity

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 17, 2024 48:34


    It's been 10 years since the film 'Pride' came out - a heartwarming billion-dollar British blockbuster about the birth of Lesbians and Gays Support The Miners (LGSM). Ell and Mary chart the legacy of LGSM from its early days to today's Lesbians & Gays Support The Migrants movement, asking: what can it teach us - or warn us - about solidarity today? Show solidarity with Palestine now by donating to Medical Aid for Palestinians: https://www.map.org.uk/ Or join Direct Action near you with Palestine Action: https://palestineaction.org/Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 31: bi married men

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 21, 2024 63:28


    Are bi married men the most invisible bisexuals? Join Ell and Mary in conversation with Robert Cohen, author of ‘Bi Married Men: Stories of Relationships, Acceptance & Authenticity' and host of the wildly successful podcast 2 Bi Guys.Find the book here: https://www.routledge.com/Bisexual-Married-Men-Stories-of-Relationships-Acceptance-and-Authenticity/Cohen/p/book/9781032473260And tickets to our Bristol run here: https://bristololdvic.org.uk/whats-on/the-last-show-before-we-dieEnjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 30: the bi-section: All Of Us Strangers

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 19, 2024 36:19


    It's Ell & Mary's 30th episode, and they celebrate by not mentioning bisexuality a single time! Come ease into 2024 with a discussion on the queer credentials of Andrew Haigh's latest film All Of Us Strangers. Expect low-stakes chat with high-brow ideas, including Lee Edelman's Death Drive and Bessel van der Kolk's theory on body trauma. P.S. this is not a film podcast. We repeat, this is not a film podcast.Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 29: all about carol

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 22, 2023 58:00


    Ell and Mary aren't film critics but they are queer. And that's all the expertise they need surely? It's cold outside, come on in for a free-spirited barely-edited long form discussion of Todd Haynes' movie Carol starring Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara, hosted by your fave amateurs. Things are about to get sexy… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    ep 28: queers for palestine

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 28, 2023 44:08


    On November 9th, The Telegraph published an opinion piece by writer Brendan O'Neill titled, 'Queers for Palestine must have a death wish'. In today's episode, Ell and Mary answer: no we don't. Palestinian liberation is a queer issue. Here's why. Support alQaws for for Sexual & Gender Diversity in Palestinian Society: http://alqaws.org/support-us OXSID interview with Dr Sa'ed Atshan: https://soundcloud.com/oxsidorg/a-discussion-of-queer-palestine-and-the-empire-of-critique-with-dr-saed-atshan GAY TIMES interview with Dr Atshan: https://www.gaytimes.co.uk/originals/why-the-lgbtq-community-should-care-about-palestine/ Buy Mary's Queer Xmas cards: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/xmas-cardshttps://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 27: queer dreamhouse

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 16, 2023 59:56


    So yes fine, Ell and Mary are approaching thirty and they're wondering what their lives might look like in five years time. Will they own houses? Who will they live with? Will they want babies? What does growing up look like if you don't want a conventional life-style? Join them on a ramble through aspec perspectives, polyamorous advocacy and home-building.Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbi Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 26: hedonism (tm)

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 19, 2023 52:13


    Fresh back from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, Ell and Mary reflect on a wild summer of wine, sex, and theatre. But is the Edinburgh Festival really that radical; that queer; that Bacchic? Or is it another guise for the capitalist machine? Come dip your toes in some Ancient Roman nonsense, and join us for a much-needed catchup.https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbi Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 25: queer jews - part 2 'god wrestlers'

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 5, 2023 37:44


    Ell and Mary are back with the second part of an eye-opening two-parter on the relationship between queerness and Judaism. What began with a dumb Q - why do we have so many queer jewish friends? - evolved into an odyssey into ancient text. This episode features a remarkable conversation with Hava from Queer Yeshiva.Get involved with Queer Yeshiva here:https://www.yeshiva.lgbt/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 24: queer jews - part 1 'i love cheese'

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 4, 2023 30:12


    In an unexpected turn of events, Ell and Mary bring you the first instalment of a rich two-parter on the relationship between queerness and Judaism. What began with a dumb Q - why do we have so many queer jewish friends? - evolved into an odyssey into ancient text... Ft. interviews with listener Yaz, Rabbi Judith Levitt and Hava of Queer Yeshiva. Support our Crowdfunderhttps://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/p/the-last-show-before-we-dieContact Rabbi Judith Levitt:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100082709203855Abraham & Sarah's Tenthttps://facebook.com/groups/557302445794217/Link to The Animated Haggadah!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayl3HlUSe1U&t=202s&ab_channel=Chunchmeow Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 23: faith in flux

    Play Episode Listen Later May 2, 2023 50:30


    Gays and Christian have not always been best buds. What's queer about faith? Where's the faith in queerness? Ell and Mary talk to a pastor and an ex-pastor abut how queerness and faith can coexist and the dark times when they don't.Edit: Katie was commissioned in 2018, not 2016 as stated in the episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 22: amanananormativity

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 28, 2023 73:24


    What can two sex-obsessed queers learn from asexuality? Turns out, a lot. Join Ell and Mary for an exploding of ACE-spectrum assumptions as they ask: what does intimacy look like without sex? What is romance? Are we even as sex-obsessed as we thought? It's time to break from the shackles of amatonormativity, baby!Content note: this episode briefly mentions sexual trauma. which is flagged in advance during the episode.Find more of Libby Sinback's work here: https://libbysinback.comAccess the relationship smorgasbord here: tinyurl.com/rasmorgasbord Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 21: we'll have to go through it

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 20, 2023 45:27


    Stand up fight back! Ell and Mary open a new season of Life of Bi with a march for justice and a dive into the political and institutional barriers to trans rights and healthcare. Whether you think you know a lot, or you know you don't know much - this one's worth a listen.Content Warning: this episode contains discussions of transphobia and barriers to gender-affirming healthcare.You can check out & support the activism of our contributors here: Abigail Thorne - www.patreon.com/PhilosophyTube/ // www.youtube.com/@PhilosophyTubeBeth Douglas - @pickle_beeEllie Gomersall - @elliebgomersallDonate to GenderGP's new Fund and help trans youth access lifesaving health care: https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/p/gendergp#start Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 20: make the yuletide gay

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 22, 2022 41:34


    God rest ye merry Gentlethems. It's been a long silly season , so snuggle down for some chill festive listening. Feat. seasonal self-care tips, and a queer retelling of the nativity. Jesus was enby! We don't make the rules! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 19: the desire triptych - part 3

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 13, 2022 40:00


    If you got all the people you'd ever fancied in a room, what would that room look like? This is the third and final desire triptych. Inspired by a listener's suggestions, we ask: why do we desire who we desire? Is it power? Difference? Similarities? Does any of this even matter? This episode stars Ella. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 18: let them eat lemon bars

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 28, 2022 48:35


    Did somebody just say eat? Join us for a smörgåsbord of culinary chat as we ask: can food be queer? What does gay food taste like? Is easting a radical act? Feast you ears, imbibe the bi. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 17: the desire triptych - part 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 14, 2022 32:55


    Welcome back to the Desire Triptych! Inspired by a listener's suggestion, we ask: what role - if any - does gender have to play in attraction? What makes us desire a certain body/bodies if it's not to do with cisnormative gender? And why is it so hard to talk about attraction without drifting into binaried language? This episode stars the wonderful Marco. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 16: birates!

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 31, 2022 51:23


    Join Hell Potter and Scary Mary for this spoooooky Halloween special as they set sail into the Golden Age of Pirates to meet the cross-dressing lovers and bicons Anne Bonny and Mary Read. Were pirate ships as scary as they seem, or were they actually floating queer utopias?You can support Life of Bi by becoming a Patreon! Find out more at www.patreon.com/lifeofbi Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 15: the desire triptych - part 1

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2022 35:10


    Introducing: the desire triptych. Inspired by a listener's suggestion, we ask: what role - if any - does gender have to play in attraction? What makes us desire a certain body/bodies if it's not to do with cisnormative gender? What is attraction? Energy, hotness, gender expression? What turns us on? Featuring interviews with three special sexy people. Rob is the star of this episode.You can support Life of Bi by becoming a Patreon! Find out more at www.patreon.com/lifeofbi Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    ep 14: bi bi queen

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 30, 2022 33:27


    Ell & Mary welcomed bi royalty as Susan Sarandon comes out, consider joining a coven to welcome witchy season, and picture the perfect #bivisibilityday. Plus, a fresh pronoun-status after an accidental-hiatus... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Episode 13: feral girl summer

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 1, 2022 70:02


    It's the hottest day of the year and we're horny af. But how do you honour your inner Hot Girl in a long-term relationship? Things get personal as Ell and Mary chat all things openness, from 'monogam-ish' to 'relationship anarchy'.

    Episode 12: pride

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2022 23:16


    It's pride month! Ell and Mary are celebrating with a silly minisode on pride flags, queer community and commercial price. Featuring fellow bisexual, comedian and housemate Cecily Bednar Schmidt!

    Episode 11: i'll still suck a dick

    Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2022 48:37


    What's it like to date as a bisexual man? Ell and Mary talk to strangers they've met on Grindr and scour popular culture for representations of bi men from 'proud' to 'discreet'.

    Episode 10: bi its cover

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 25, 2022 38:57


    Can you tell a bi by its cover? Ell and Mary take to the streets and ask total strangers to judge them. They talk bi aesthetics, the history of androgyny, and femme invisibility. Plus an interview with fat fashion icon and bisexual author Bethany Rutter. 

    Episode 9: soft launch

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 28, 2022 37:33


    Can you come out with a bang when you're bi? Ell and Mary soft launch Season 2 with investigations into a Satan-worshipping rocket scientist, partner gender-reveals, and almost-bi megastar Elton John.

    Episode 8: möbius

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 2, 2021 13:22


    The best goodbyes are short and sweet. Featuring Blu del Barrio, Star Trek, and a mathematician called Möbius.

    Episode 7: f*ck the pie

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 26, 2021 29:38


    How do you measure a bi? From 1900s sexologists to Buzzfeed quizzes, trying to quantify queerness is a cultural obsession. But we have an antidote to the madness: meet the Mother of Bisexuality, Lani Ka'ahumanu.

    Episode 6: leaping lesbians

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 19, 2021 33:03


    Ever heard of the Lesbian Sex Wars? The 1970s were rife with separatist lesbians telling people who and how they should fuck. But the bisexuals weren't listening. Strap up and strap on, it's about to get kinky. Featuring Patrick Califia.

    Episode 5: octopus

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 12, 2021 17:13


    A minisode about porn and octopuses. Featuring Samantha Sun.

    Episode 4: going viral

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 5, 2021 26:47


    Are we like, trendy now?! Bisexual TikTokers get millions of likes for bi-themed dances and songs, but is it really a queer utopia free from shame? Featuring Daz Elborn, Connie Chong, and Jess Ensley.

    Episode 3: on the down low

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2021 24:29


    Why all the secrecy? During the AIDS crisis, bisexuals became “the bogeyman” and many had to stay underground. Featuring Dr. Marcus Patterson and Christian Nduwayo.

    Episode 2: in black & white

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 21, 2021 28:18


    Who gets to tell our story? From Mugabe to mine marriages - we find out why bisexuals are so often hidden from view. And why British colonialism has so much to answer for. Featuring Christian Nduwayo and Professor Marc Epprecht.

    Episode 1: ctrl+f bi

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 14, 2021 22:53


    What's in a name? We dive back in time to meet Thomas/ine Hall in 1629 and into Ariana Grande's rooftop pool, to quench our thirst for a neatly labelled sexuality. Featuring Adjoa Andoh, Blu del Barrio, and Tabby Lamb.

    Life of Bi: Trailer

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 9, 2021 1:32


    Are we living in a bisexual renaissance? From Ancient China to TikTok, writers, hosts and ex-gfs Mary & Ell explore what it really means to be a modern bisexual.  “I still regretfully shag men... I guess that's what bi is” - anon.  Written, created and hosted by Ell Potter and Mary Higgins Sound design, music and production by Tom Foskett Barnes Research by Eve Brandon, Robin Craig, Ell Potter and Mary Higgins Graphic design by Madison Coby  Produced by Ellie Keel

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