Life of Bi: A Slippery History of Bisexuality

A listener writes in to ask advice for dating their best friend. Ell digs out an old email from Mary immediately post their break up back in 2017, and Ell & Mary ask a bunch of their friends: is it ever a good idea to date your mates? Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When transphobes call the definition of a woman ‘common sense', what do they actually mean? We have little in common and, at least to us, they speak little sense. Following the Supreme Court's judgment on trans rights, Mary uses Andrea Long Chu's radical work ‘Females' to try to understand what trans-exclusionary feminists feel they are ‘losing' to trans people; while Ell explores studies that find commonality and solidarity between bi+ and trans communities.If you can, please don't hesitate to donate to the following causes raising money for trans rights:https://www.translegalclinic.com/donate https://goodlawproject.org/crowdfunder/supreme-court-human-rights-for-trans-people/ https://notaphase.org/ https://transactual.org.uk/get-involved/ Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lamya H is a queer muslim parent, and author of the memoir Hijab Butch Blues. Join Lamya, Ell and Mary for a conversation around Islamophobia, queer parenting and faith in justice. Support The Good Law Project legal challenge of the UK Supreme Court ruling on sex-based rights: https://goodlawproject.org/crowdfunder/supreme-court-human-rights-for-trans-peopleEnjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this latest instalment of Life of Bi's Agony Ankle segment we hear from a listener who's struggling to work out what to wear to the Cloob. Luckily Ell and Mary are expert fashionistas (

Buckle up fellas! And ready yourselves for an excursive exploration of how bisexuality operates under capitalism. We've long been fans of Sophie K Rosa's radical writings on modern love, intimacy, and relational structures, and were thrilled to find that they are a fellow bisexual — and listen to LOB. In this episode we wonder: are bisexuals too slippery to market to? what does capitalism stand to gain from ignoring fluidity? and — does bisexuality suffer from… a branding issue?!Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The first edition of Agony Ankle - where we answer your questions. Join us for today's classic bi+ dilemma - am I actually bi? To write in with your own queries, dilemmas and goss - head to hotterproject.co.uk/lifeofbi. Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Did you know it's Bi+ Health Awareness Month? Oh, and did you know that bisexual people suffer from worse mental health than their lesbian and gay counterparts? Well, we didn't either. Until we met Bailey. Join us for an eye-opening exploration in the under-researched field of bi+ mental health. Bailey is co-host of the Bisexual Killjoy podcast - go check it out! Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A chill chat about the politics of optics snowballs into a deep dive on Judith Butler and the cosmos. Ell and Mary muse on what it means to be ‘culturally intelligible' as bisexuals, and wonder if it really matters — finding solace in the work of theoretical physicist Chanda Prescod-Weinstein.Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's been four years since Ell and Mary started working on Life of Bi. Join them for a big conversation about how their relationships to bisexuality have changed (or stayed the same) since then, touching on bi-erasure, biphobia, flux, doubt, belief -- and how all these make a Life of Bi.Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this very special episode, Ell and Mary talk to veteran professor and HIV/AIDS activist Dr Monica Pearl about her experiences with Act Up and the unique and under-studied intricacies of queer friendship. A perfect antidote and/or accompaniment to the festive season when the emphasis is on “family time”. We met Monica at the Sexuality Summer School, a week of workshops, performances and roundtables held each year at the University of Manchester.Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

change is in the air for Ell and Mary as they reflect on rituals surrounding moving out, moving in, and moving on. What starts as a ‘wedding planning' episode turns into a call for ceremony in our everyday lives.Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After a summer full of wedding bells and disco dancing, Ell and Mary are inspired. But should they take sweet sweet matrimony with a pinch of anti-capitalist salt? Join them as they look at the history of gay marriage in the UK, exploring the choice at the heart of many a queer issue: assimilate, or resist... Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How can we understand the intersection between queerness and neurodiversity? Ell and Mary take a hard look at the existing research to try and understand why so many queers are neurospicy, and vice versa. Splitting up to look for clues, Ell turns her attention to the co-occurrence of ADHD and bisexuality, while Mary interrogates the connection between autism and gender-nonconforming identities.Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the episode you've all been waiting for... Ell & Mary's hot (well, now tepid) take on the hit BBC show I KISSED A GIRL. Join us for a deep dive in which we ask: what does "gay panic" actually mean? Is there such a thing as bi or nonbinary panic? What's the deal with gender on the show? And most importantly: if we were on it, would anyone fancy us?!?Alison Bechdel clip: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/04/13/t-magazine/butch-stud-lesbian.htmlEnjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's been 10 years since the film 'Pride' came out - a heartwarming billion-dollar British blockbuster about the birth of Lesbians and Gays Support The Miners (LGSM). Ell and Mary chart the legacy of LGSM from its early days to today's Lesbians & Gays Support The Migrants movement, asking: what can it teach us - or warn us - about solidarity today? Show solidarity with Palestine now by donating to Medical Aid for Palestinians: https://www.map.org.uk/ Or join Direct Action near you with Palestine Action: https://palestineaction.org/Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are bi married men the most invisible bisexuals? Join Ell and Mary in conversation with Robert Cohen, author of ‘Bi Married Men: Stories of Relationships, Acceptance & Authenticity' and host of the wildly successful podcast 2 Bi Guys.Find the book here: https://www.routledge.com/Bisexual-Married-Men-Stories-of-Relationships-Acceptance-and-Authenticity/Cohen/p/book/9781032473260And tickets to our Bristol run here: https://bristololdvic.org.uk/whats-on/the-last-show-before-we-dieEnjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's Ell & Mary's 30th episode, and they celebrate by not mentioning bisexuality a single time! Come ease into 2024 with a discussion on the queer credentials of Andrew Haigh's latest film All Of Us Strangers. Expect low-stakes chat with high-brow ideas, including Lee Edelman's Death Drive and Bessel van der Kolk's theory on body trauma. P.S. this is not a film podcast. We repeat, this is not a film podcast.Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbiFind out more about our work: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ell and Mary aren't film critics but they are queer. And that's all the expertise they need surely? It's cold outside, come on in for a free-spirited barely-edited long form discussion of Todd Haynes' movie Carol starring Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara, hosted by your fave amateurs. Things are about to get sexy… Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On November 9th, The Telegraph published an opinion piece by writer Brendan O'Neill titled, 'Queers for Palestine must have a death wish'. In today's episode, Ell and Mary answer: no we don't. Palestinian liberation is a queer issue. Here's why. Support alQaws for for Sexual & Gender Diversity in Palestinian Society: http://alqaws.org/support-us OXSID interview with Dr Sa'ed Atshan: https://soundcloud.com/oxsidorg/a-discussion-of-queer-palestine-and-the-empire-of-critique-with-dr-saed-atshan GAY TIMES interview with Dr Atshan: https://www.gaytimes.co.uk/originals/why-the-lgbtq-community-should-care-about-palestine/ Buy Mary's Queer Xmas cards: https://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/xmas-cardshttps://www.lifeofbi.co.uk/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So yes fine, Ell and Mary are approaching thirty and they're wondering what their lives might look like in five years time. Will they own houses? Who will they live with? Will they want babies? What does growing up look like if you don't want a conventional life-style? Join them on a ramble through aspec perspectives, polyamorous advocacy and home-building.Enjoying Life of Bi? Support us at: https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbi Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fresh back from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, Ell and Mary reflect on a wild summer of wine, sex, and theatre. But is the Edinburgh Festival really that radical; that queer; that Bacchic? Or is it another guise for the capitalist machine? Come dip your toes in some Ancient Roman nonsense, and join us for a much-needed catchup.https://www.patreon.com/lifeofbi Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ell and Mary are back with the second part of an eye-opening two-parter on the relationship between queerness and Judaism. What began with a dumb Q - why do we have so many queer jewish friends? - evolved into an odyssey into ancient text. This episode features a remarkable conversation with Hava from Queer Yeshiva.Get involved with Queer Yeshiva here:https://www.yeshiva.lgbt/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In an unexpected turn of events, Ell and Mary bring you the first instalment of a rich two-parter on the relationship between queerness and Judaism. What began with a dumb Q - why do we have so many queer jewish friends? - evolved into an odyssey into ancient text... Ft. interviews with listener Yaz, Rabbi Judith Levitt and Hava of Queer Yeshiva. Support our Crowdfunderhttps://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/p/the-last-show-before-we-dieContact Rabbi Judith Levitt:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100082709203855Abraham & Sarah's Tenthttps://facebook.com/groups/557302445794217/Link to The Animated Haggadah!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayl3HlUSe1U&t=202s&ab_channel=Chunchmeow Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Gays and Christian have not always been best buds. What's queer about faith? Where's the faith in queerness? Ell and Mary talk to a pastor and an ex-pastor abut how queerness and faith can coexist and the dark times when they don't.Edit: Katie was commissioned in 2018, not 2016 as stated in the episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What can two sex-obsessed queers learn from asexuality? Turns out, a lot. Join Ell and Mary for an exploding of ACE-spectrum assumptions as they ask: what does intimacy look like without sex? What is romance? Are we even as sex-obsessed as we thought? It's time to break from the shackles of amatonormativity, baby!Content note: this episode briefly mentions sexual trauma. which is flagged in advance during the episode.Find more of Libby Sinback's work here: https://libbysinback.comAccess the relationship smorgasbord here: tinyurl.com/rasmorgasbord Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stand up fight back! Ell and Mary open a new season of Life of Bi with a march for justice and a dive into the political and institutional barriers to trans rights and healthcare. Whether you think you know a lot, or you know you don't know much - this one's worth a listen.Content Warning: this episode contains discussions of transphobia and barriers to gender-affirming healthcare.You can check out & support the activism of our contributors here: Abigail Thorne - www.patreon.com/PhilosophyTube/ // www.youtube.com/@PhilosophyTubeBeth Douglas - @pickle_beeEllie Gomersall - @elliebgomersallDonate to GenderGP's new Fund and help trans youth access lifesaving health care: https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/p/gendergp#start Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

God rest ye merry Gentlethems. It's been a long silly season , so snuggle down for some chill festive listening. Feat. seasonal self-care tips, and a queer retelling of the nativity. Jesus was enby! We don't make the rules! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you got all the people you'd ever fancied in a room, what would that room look like? This is the third and final desire triptych. Inspired by a listener's suggestions, we ask: why do we desire who we desire? Is it power? Difference? Similarities? Does any of this even matter? This episode stars Ella. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Did somebody just say eat? Join us for a smörgåsbord of culinary chat as we ask: can food be queer? What does gay food taste like? Is easting a radical act? Feast you ears, imbibe the bi. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back to the Desire Triptych! Inspired by a listener's suggestion, we ask: what role - if any - does gender have to play in attraction? What makes us desire a certain body/bodies if it's not to do with cisnormative gender? And why is it so hard to talk about attraction without drifting into binaried language? This episode stars the wonderful Marco. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join Hell Potter and Scary Mary for this spoooooky Halloween special as they set sail into the Golden Age of Pirates to meet the cross-dressing lovers and bicons Anne Bonny and Mary Read. Were pirate ships as scary as they seem, or were they actually floating queer utopias?You can support Life of Bi by becoming a Patreon! Find out more at www.patreon.com/lifeofbi Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Introducing: the desire triptych. Inspired by a listener's suggestion, we ask: what role - if any - does gender have to play in attraction? What makes us desire a certain body/bodies if it's not to do with cisnormative gender? What is attraction? Energy, hotness, gender expression? What turns us on? Featuring interviews with three special sexy people. Rob is the star of this episode.You can support Life of Bi by becoming a Patreon! Find out more at www.patreon.com/lifeofbi Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ell & Mary welcomed bi royalty as Susan Sarandon comes out, consider joining a coven to welcome witchy season, and picture the perfect #bivisibilityday. Plus, a fresh pronoun-status after an accidental-hiatus... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's the hottest day of the year and we're horny af. But how do you honour your inner Hot Girl in a long-term relationship? Things get personal as Ell and Mary chat all things openness, from 'monogam-ish' to 'relationship anarchy'.

It's pride month! Ell and Mary are celebrating with a silly minisode on pride flags, queer community and commercial price. Featuring fellow bisexual, comedian and housemate Cecily Bednar Schmidt!

What's it like to date as a bisexual man? Ell and Mary talk to strangers they've met on Grindr and scour popular culture for representations of bi men from 'proud' to 'discreet'.

Can you tell a bi by its cover? Ell and Mary take to the streets and ask total strangers to judge them. They talk bi aesthetics, the history of androgyny, and femme invisibility. Plus an interview with fat fashion icon and bisexual author Bethany Rutter. 

Can you come out with a bang when you're bi? Ell and Mary soft launch Season 2 with investigations into a Satan-worshipping rocket scientist, partner gender-reveals, and almost-bi megastar Elton John.

The best goodbyes are short and sweet. Featuring Blu del Barrio, Star Trek, and a mathematician called Möbius.

How do you measure a bi? From 1900s sexologists to Buzzfeed quizzes, trying to quantify queerness is a cultural obsession. But we have an antidote to the madness: meet the Mother of Bisexuality, Lani Ka'ahumanu.

Ever heard of the Lesbian Sex Wars? The 1970s were rife with separatist lesbians telling people who and how they should fuck. But the bisexuals weren't listening. Strap up and strap on, it's about to get kinky. Featuring Patrick Califia.

A minisode about porn and octopuses. Featuring Samantha Sun.

Are we like, trendy now?! Bisexual TikTokers get millions of likes for bi-themed dances and songs, but is it really a queer utopia free from shame? Featuring Daz Elborn, Connie Chong, and Jess Ensley.

Why all the secrecy? During the AIDS crisis, bisexuals became “the bogeyman” and many had to stay underground. Featuring Dr. Marcus Patterson and Christian Nduwayo.

Who gets to tell our story? From Mugabe to mine marriages - we find out why bisexuals are so often hidden from view. And why British colonialism has so much to answer for. Featuring Christian Nduwayo and Professor Marc Epprecht.

What's in a name? We dive back in time to meet Thomas/ine Hall in 1629 and into Ariana Grande's rooftop pool, to quench our thirst for a neatly labelled sexuality. Featuring Adjoa Andoh, Blu del Barrio, and Tabby Lamb.

Are we living in a bisexual renaissance? From Ancient China to TikTok, writers, hosts and ex-gfs Mary & Ell explore what it really means to be a modern bisexual.  “I still regretfully shag men... I guess that's what bi is” - anon.  Written, created and hosted by Ell Potter and Mary Higgins Sound design, music and production by Tom Foskett Barnes Research by Eve Brandon, Robin Craig, Ell Potter and Mary Higgins Graphic design by Madison Coby  Produced by Ellie Keel